Is It Just Me? - #115: Theatre Kids with Elouise Eftos

Episode Date: August 8, 2022

Elouise Eftos, aka @weezasqueeza, is our guest host this week! Catch her on stage at Sydney Fringe Festival in September & Melbourne Fringe in October.In this episode:The ‘Notify Anyway’ button (11:38)Same sex marriage in the US (16:49)Power tripping while driving (21:20)Annoying cat owners (26:16)You know my friend Michelle? (30:28)Sound of Silence (32:52)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (42:00)Get in touch @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Would you like to try a vape? Why would you take up something that is going to be addictive and expensive? I think for people... I'll tell you why. Yeah. Because you're young and stupid. Some things make more sense than others.

You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy, and I just don't know how you figure that's going to happen when you're ordering a chocolate mousse. No. You know, I had it in the car on the way home, and I didn't have a spoon, so I was like an armadillo trying to get ants out of a hole. Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood.

Being fingered is an awful sensation. You haven't been fingered by the right person? Goodness me. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of bitches. Hi, it's Jenna. Please don't forget to include my name in the opener this season. I'm sorry.

Ta-da! Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. All right, hello, everybody. Hello, Mitchell. Howdy. We're back for another week, and we've got a gorgeous guest in the studio with us today, don't we? Oh, my God.

Eloise Eftos is here, one of Sydney's brightest and funniest up-and-coming comedians. She is so funny. She's also an actress, an improviser. You may know her from her viral hilarious videos. It is Eloise Eftos. Eftos? Eftos. Eftos. It's alright, you're close. I was close. Sorry, PayPal. It's on the mind. PayPal. It's alright. I'm rich. Oh yeah, that checks out. Cash or Eftos, you know. Welcome to the show, Eloise Eftos is here. Hello. You struggle with that. Mitch and Mitch.

Thanks for having me. But what's your Instagram handle? Weezer Sweezer. Because I sometimes refer to you as Weezer Sweezer. Please, you can. Yeah. So that's actually, like, my nickname. My family call me Eloise, so woggy.

And then, like, my sister couldn't say it when she was younger, so she would call me Weezer. Okay. And that's how it started. And that's really cute. And then Sweezer, you know, so you can call me whatever you like. Just don't call me ugly. Yeah. Because you are Australia's first what's the brand? Australia's First Gorgeous? I say Australia's

first attractive comedian, but you can say hot, you can say sexy, whatever you want. Really, I'm just like the first, thank you. And you are gorgeous. Oh, bless you. You're so beautiful. Isn't she hot? I can't believe we're flirting. I know. And people can't see. Oh my god, that's so beautiful. Isn't she hot? I can't believe we're flirting. I know. You're not our usual demo. And people can't see.

Oh, my God, that's so sweet. What foul comedian did you have in mind when you came up with that little tagline? Oh, there's a few. There's a bit of a cesspool. No, it's so, I have to be careful because, like, I remember when I first started stand-up, people got really upset at that. Did they really? Especially a lot of female comics.

And I was like, oh, no, no, no, I meant, like, all the comedians, not just female comics and I was like oh no no no I meant like all the comedians not just female comics men as well do you care about that it's a joke like a laugh it's a joke come on we're all comedians

let's all have a little laugh have a laugh you know and um now I'm doing a different accent gotta show off my skills have a laugh have a laugh

because you're an actress as well you were trained you did Whopper yeah I'm trained yeah so that's why I was like playing a persona with my stand-up is so much more fun and then I'm like, oh, well, fuck conforming to, well, I have to wear ugly clothes on stage and look like I'm depressed. It's like, well, no.

You're not. I don't want to do that. I want to be the opposite. And in Australia, you can't be a tall poppy. They don't like it. I've noticed that as well. And in Australia, you can't be a tall poppy. They don't like it. I've noticed that as well. And isn't that so fun?

You know, I feel like we've all got that same vibe. We're like, no, we're doing well. We love what we do. Yeah. We're thriving, surviving. It's hard to toy the line though sometimes, isn't it? Oh, true, because then people go, oh, how dare you say that? And you go, well, why are you so upset? Why are you so upset?

The whole persona, right, is kind of like the mean girls in high school in a way. That's what I think everyone gets a bit triggered. Like, I was never popular in high school. I was bullied in high school. And you're reclaiming it, right? Yeah, I'm reclaiming it because I'm like, well, I'm hot now. But good for them. Good for them.

Obviously, I'm just doing the best. And that's unfortunately my brand and not anyone else's. Well, you're on this show, so they're not. Well, exactly. I can't believe I'm on this show. When I got the call up, I went, this is, I've made it. I should warn you, though, our third wheel, Prize Keeper Jen is here along for the ride.

Hi, I'm Hi-To. That's normal. The reason I need to warn you is because Jenna is like the worst feminist ever. Every time we have another female on the podcast, she just becomes their enemy. No, that's only two people. What happened?

It's only two people. Who was it? Nat Penfold and Tony Lodge. Yeah, that's only two people. What happened? It's only two people. Who was it? Nat Penfold and Tony Lodge. Yeah, she couldn't stand them. What happened? What was wrong? Just hate them. Jenna needs to be top dog, so we might have a scrag finally.

No, but I like Eloise. Oh, good. You do like me. You know what? Jenna said that when I said, hey, I booked Eloise. Jenna was so excited. Genuinely. Really?

Yes. I'm very excited. Are you a fan of my work? Yeah, if you don't follow Weezer Squeezer, you should. Jenna was so excited. Genuinely. I'm very excited. Are you a fan of my work? Yeah, if you don't follow Weezer Squeezer, you should. You're so funny on your Instagram. Thank you so much. Thank you. You are so great.

I'm a bit silly, but like hot silly. Yes. And you've done some stand-up shows and stuff with our mate Ruby Teeth, haven't you? Yeah, so I do stand-up separately with Ruby. I was doing Mystery Flight where we played flight attendants. So Ruby and I, yeah, took everyone around the world, gave them like mile high club lap dances all for the price of like $30.

Like it was pretty good. You guys were on Before Me at Comedy Festival. That's right, I remember. And then it was actually quite fortunate when someone in your team got COVID because I just got to go in an hour early and set up. Yeah, and you went, thank God that stupid flight show is not here. I'm ruining my set up. Isn't that the worst part about fringe shows?

You're waiting for the other people to finish and like, fuck off, you know? Yeah. Can everyone get out? We've got a show, but like our show was so annoying because we had so many props. Yeah, the worst show to follow because I'm like, I need to get in there and their pitch was going, excuse me, do you know who I am?

And we're going, no. Not really, no. We don't. No, we do. We did. And We don't. No, we do. We did. And now you do. Now I really do. Can we just talk about this one horror story I've heard from you

about your early days in comedy? Yeah. I'm like pretty lucky, touch wood, that I haven't had any horror stories yet. But there was something that happened to you. Was it in Perth? Mm-hmm. Of course it was. And it was some sort of, you were on the line up,

there was a competition about who would bomb their jokes. Yes. Oh, that's a show. this is like my comedy nightmare. It was a comedy nightmare. It was my first time I ever bombed. So I had just started doing comedy. God, when did I? It was probably like 2017.

I was studying at WAPR at the time. I was like, oh, I'm going to give it a go, you know, bucket list thing, tick it off. And I had done probably like four gigs and they'd gone well. And I was like, great, I'm probably the best comedian in the world. And you're so hot too. And I'm hot too. You know what I mean?

Like I knew I'd had it and I had what it took. Went to this gig. I was told it was called Comedy Strip Tease. So you have to strip after like if everyone performs, let me explain it properly. Everybody performs and whoever bombs has to strip for the audience. strip after like if everyone sorry everyone performs let me explain it probably everybody performs and whoever bombs has to strip for the audience and i was told every time a girl's on she never bombs you'll be fine blah blah but i'd never bombed before i didn't know what it was like

i thought that i would never bomb which is for a comedian impossible everybody bombs um doesn't matter how hot or funny you are or smart. And I got on stage. It was like this dingy. I don't know if any of you have been to Perth, but it's called Universal Bar. And it was upstairs. It's like a dingy pub. And I get up there and I go on stage.

The only woman? The only woman on the line-up, which is like very common. Either you're the only woman or the only gay. You know what I mean? It's very much like that's the demographic in comedy. It's getting better for sure. Yeah, I got on stage. I was ready and I bombed the whole set.

Nobody laughed from the beginning, like from the top. Does Perth just not get it? I think Perth doesn't get it. I think Perth's a few years behind Sydney. Like I love Perth. I'm from Perth, Perth girl. But sometimes I'm like I feel like I have to dumb my set down a little bit. Really?

The audience gets it. Some people get it, but I feel like I break character more. Not that I'm doing, like, a proper character like Mandy or, like, one of my other characters. It's like I'm just playing a heightened, heightened version of me. And it's acting, but people are like, this isn't acting. She doesn't really like this. And they don't like women being confident, I think, as well.

And what were the guys on the line up? What were their jokes like? Very racist, homophobic. Oh, dear. And they crushed. Like, people were screaming. And so I got off stage, I was like, oh, that was a bomb. Yeah.

And I'd never felt so embarrassed and, like, stressed in my life. And then I watched the two other guys after me, so racist, so homophobic, crushed. Like absolutely the crowd was living. They were putting clothes on. I can tell because they were doing. And then I was told to get on stage. Like it was my turn to strip and I was like freaking,

I just realised after they'd gone on stage, I was like, oh, I have to strip. And I didn't know what, I had my period. I was like, what the fuck? I didn't prepare to strip. I'd been dancing in a cabaret show so like the guys on the line-up were like, oh, you'll be fine. You dance in your underwear all the time.

But I was like, well, it's very different, isn't it? But they also told you it never happens. It never happens, right? So you're already prepared. You already don't think you're going to bomb. You already think that you're the best comedian in the world. It sounds like so cocky, but it's not even like that. If you haven't bombed before, you have no idea what it's like.

It's like standing in front of a group of people and they look at you like you're the stupidest worst person in the world it's like it's happened to every comedian every joke you've ever seen a comedian crushed with they've bombed with that joke before that's what's wild and then i got on stage and it was like it was traumatic i was like already feeling so yeah my confidence had gone and then it was like all right are you gonna strip and i think i took my top off but i was wearing a bra and then the mc was like is that it and i was like sorry i like had my period i'm pretty sure like you know tmi but like wasn't prepared like you know and i was also like i don't want to fucking strip in front of imagine stripping in front of people that already hate you and they're looking at you like you're a piece of shit and

then i'm like trying to dance but i was like oh my god these people think like i'm an asshole they want me to fail kind of thing and then i remember just like storming off stage after like i was like that's enough and i just went to my car and cried oh my god that's the first time i ever bombed like i don't know if your first time was just like at a gig and oh i bombed but nothing like like that no that's not in the news yeah it's like being like i you bomb and then after someone's like and now you have to take your clothes off in front of the whole crowd because they i don't know if i'd bounce back the same way you have because i would have just been like i quit never doing comedy again honestly i didn't want to do it again and then i think what was really frustrating like what was funny is that i kind of was like oh I'll just never do that kind of thing again because you of course you suffer so much bullshit as a as a female in

comedy or as any minority in comedy like you just unfortunately it's a male straight male dominated like you know industry so like many places actually like everywhere um and so yeah you kind of just have to like get over and get back on the horse a little bit and um and luck i feel lucky that i did and it's kind of like a good story to because now i've heard that they still do that show but they've completely changed it so if like a female well if a female bombs a male comic will always get up and like take her place and strip oh that's that's disgusting and i can't believe they'd make you do that but jenna for the remainder of the show every time we make a joke,

can you take a piece of paper? I was going to suggest that. As long as someone does. As long as you're filming it. I'm not wearing a bra anyway. Get your bra off, Jenna. Jenna, you're very layered today. You've got a turtleneck and a puffer on. I know, but I took off the puffer just for the

because I'm stripping. She's like, she heard, she was like, okay, whatever I can make, you know. Yeah, so that, hence the layers. I get it. You look great. You're nothing if not committed. All right, let's start the show. This is how we do it every week.

Mitch and I have an idjim and is it just me? So something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's. And we just go straight in. Every time we have a guest, we get them to bring an idjim. Is it just me, Ivana? Yes.

I believe you're coming prepared. I have. I hope it's good enough. Oh, please. Oh, it's fine. All Ijums are welcome. And Jenny, you may as well throw one in as well. Oh, okay.

Come on, babe. Yeah. Let's go. You want to jump in? You start the show? Oh, sure. I can kick things off if you want. Please, can you?

All right. Is it just me or? What does the notify anyway button actually do on iMessage? Oh, yeah. What's that about? Have you seen that? I live by that button. So what is that?

So I'm pretty sure if someone's got their phone on do not disturb. You can still do it. You can still disturb them. Well, it only happens on iMessage. So if you've got a Samsung, forget about it. But I think I've only noticed it recently, though, because it says, oh, Mitch Turi has notification silenced. And then I'll send a message and it says delivered quietly.

And then it gives me the option to notify anyway. But I've never hit that. What does it actually do? Let's test it. Let's test it. So you put your phone under Notister. Me? Yeah.

Because while you were with Patrick, Mitch's therapist, I was messaging him and I was slamming notify anyway. Okay. All right, so you're on Mitch. Okay, here we go. It's on do not disturb. Mitchell has notification silenced. Okay, I love it. So if I send him an emoji, just a little angel.

Oh, an angel. That's nice, though. It says delivered quietly. Did you get anything? Nothing. Okay, so now the button is notify anyway. Okay, this is hard. It says, I guess I think you should press it.

I'm going to do it. I can't believe this is happening to me. Oh, my God. You know what also happens? It goes shim. Oh, it vibrates. It's like, what's that about? I've still got nothing.

You're kidding. Really? Oh, not there, guys. Yeah, it's just come through. But they still made no noise. Oh. So it's like notify anyway, but quietly. I love us as well.

Harmonizing. Oh. Oh. That's the whopper in you. You know why I love us as well. Harmonising. Oh. Oh. That's the whopper in you. You know I auditioned for Whopper? Did you? Yeah. Babe.

Did you not get in? We could have been. Don't worry about it. Excuse you. I'm asking. No, I didn't. I got a call back and then I moved to New York to study theatre. Well, I did acting study.

I studied acting in New York as well. Where? At Stella Adler for a bit. Get fucked. I did Atlantic. Babe. Yeah. It looks like we're gonna have to do

A show together A live show And it's gonna be called New York, New York New York, New York And we're going Yeah, get a hot dog Get a coffee

Get a coffee Whatever you wanna do I only want everything Whatever Tony Soprano What happened in the finale? We should actually be Like we should be a couple

From New York Are we a couple from New York? I feel like we have to be a couple We're a couple Or I feel like it's a bit like Where we could be like Mob boss Mob wife Like you know that I do like Soprano The impressions. Or I feel like it's a bit like we could be like mob boss, mob wife. Like, you know that I do like Soprano, the impressions of the Sopranos women?

Of course. We could do that. We could do a whole series as that. And Jenna, what's Jenna? Jenna could be our neighbour. She's a bit like, what's going on there? Cat lady. Cat lady.

She's got the early onset kicking in. She's like Mrs. Kravitz. What's wrong with them? You know what I mean? And we're going, hey in. She's like, Mrs. Kravitz, be weird. What's wrong with them? You know what I mean? And we're going, hey there, Dawn. Hey, Dawn. Hey, Jenna. Miss Benson.

I'm going, Jenna, come over for dinner. Miss Benson, come over. We got the larks on the bagel. Come over and get some. Come on, come over. Anytime you want to come over. Don't bring the cats. Don't bring the cats.

Leave the cats at home for once, okay? This is brilliant. I'm going to sell it. Let's sell it to Stan. I'm not going to leave. I'm actually writing the email now. Yeah, send it out. Draft it.

So long story short, yeah, it does work. Well, you know what? I'm glad that we got into that. Oh, my God. I'm glad we got there. Is this the worst best episode? Yes, this is the best episode ever. These are my favourites where you put two fucking theatre kids

in a room together and nothing stays on track because there is no track. It's gone. Did you study opera? Did Stella Adler delve into vocal? I did. Well, I'm a trained singer as well, so when I was younger, I used to be in classical choir as a kid. And you know how that all started?

I was with my friend Bardo. Bardo, remember Bardo? Oh, Sophie Monk. You're joking. Poison. Don't you make me sad. I could be deep as the ocean. Wow.

That's the guitar. Oh. That's not the singing part. No, but I was obsessed. I wanted to be Sophie Monk because being a wog back then, you could never get arrested with brunette hair. You could never get arrested. You could only get arrested if you were blonde.

And I wanted to be blonde so bad I thought that meant you were beautiful. And, yeah, I remember singing in, like, year three in front of the teacher. Choir? Just as a group of girls going, we're going to sing Bardo's Poison. Were you just giving it your all? And you know what's funny? Sophie Monk doesn't have a solo in that song. So I was technically singing Katie's solo.

Oh, my God. Let's not get into that. But I was like, I'm Sophie Monk doesn't have a solo in that song. So I was technically singing Katie's solo. Oh, my God. Let's not get into that. But I was like, I'm Sophie Monk. And she actually saw me do stand-up, like, last year, and it was, like, wild. I couldn't believe I got to meet her. Did you tell her that story? I wish I did.

I need to tell her this. I didn't have time. You should have. I will. It's also a weird situation when someone you admire sees your work or you meet them. It's like, how much do you give them, you know? Yeah know i gave her a lot um i gave her too much actually over the most um i wish i gave her more but no it was really funny after we finished singing my teacher told

my mom eloise should do singing and i was already doing like dance school and stuff but then that's how i started singing and then yeah a little bit of classical choir since i was like eight yeah it was wild for like years so it's a little bit, I guess it's a bit operatic, but classical is just very, you know, you do all the Latin and all that bullshit. Yeah, of course. I love how I'm sorry, I'm turning into such a show off, but I just get excited.

No, no, no, no. The kids are going like, we've got to do every voice that we can. We have a violin for you to play later in the show. So just to showcase all the talents. I believe it. It's coming up. It's coming up.

I can't even play violin, but I can. I'm really good at it. I'll give it a go.'s go let's do my age so yes come on let's do yours let's do it is it just me or are you unsure how the repealing of same-sex marriage in the united states is going to work oh fuck call me political politico. Politico. Okay, I love this. I love Mitch's political vibes. Vote one Mitch. I'm just thinking logistically, right? Roe v. Wade was overturned. What the fuck was that?

Thank you. This is me when I found out it was overturned. I went, where am I? Yes. And it was making me sick. I was like, I actually feel stressed because it's not like I'm even there, but it makes me go, there's people here that would very much like that to happen. Exactly.

That's what's sick. And people go like, no, no, no, we're so much more ahead of the times. It's like, but we're not. Yeah, that's what they said as well. I'm going, sorry. I agree. I didn't know that they were actually voting or like reappealing. I don't know.

Well, they're coming for same-sex marriage, which was instated a couple of years ago. And it's the law of the land. All the states can't decide. It's national law, right? Gays can get married. Great. But they're thinking.

But not make them a cake. In the working. No, God forbid. Don't make them a fucking cake. Don't make a lesbian couple a cake or you'll be going to hell. And don't put a footballer in a pride jersey. They're the two. Everyone knows those.

Please. Rainbows. That's the manly players. Anyway, go. Let me get my point out. Sorry. So they're looking at repealing it and they want to get their hands on it. And I think it's disgusting and awful.

But if it is happening, how does it work logistically? Like, do you lose your anniversary level? Yeah, what happens there? If you're a gay couple. Are you divorced? Exactly. Yeah, what goes on there? What if you're going to hit diamond status at 30 years

and you're about to get a Prada diamond bangle? And then they go, sorry, no Prada diamond bangle. Back to wood. Back to one. Not even wood. It would be back to dust. Back to dust. Year one.

You know what I mean? Wow. Logistically, how does it work? Are you divorced? What if you're that one really bitter old gay couple that want to get divorced and they might be out there going for it? Like, yeah, end it, end it so we don't have to get divorced. They're like, oh, you know, it's the universe telling us what to do.

It manifested this. Oh, that's wild. No, I could definitely imagine people saying that. But also, what? Logistically. How the hell is it logistically going to work? Yeah, totally. Is everyone okay?

Yeah. I feel sick. The world is ending. It actually is. I hope you don't expect Jenna or I to have the answers. You're asking all the big questions. We're no fucking nut. Can you Google it, Jenna, please?

I feel like the answer is you need to go to the White House. And you march up and you go. What do I say? And you go, hey, my name's Mitch. And don't you ever fucking think of crossing me and crossing the gays. But you use your New York accent so that they think that you're one of them. You have to be one of them. Hey, my name's Mitch.

And if you ever talk to me or my guise ever again. Heads will roll. Wow. Okay. Intimidating. It's a bit throaty. It's a bit throaty. Do it a bit like Tony Soprano.

We'll work on it. Okay. Well, yeah, we'll workshop it. Okay. This is going to stop them from doing anything. Oh, my God, we're powerful. I personally am not even slightly threatened by that. I'm not scared of you at all, darling.

It's just me going, okay, we'll work on it. Yeah, good. You know, give it a bit of time. That's the theatre in us. We give notes, right? Yeah, we give notes. We can workshop. And you know what?

That was great, but we'll do a bit of some notes. We'll do a recce at the White House. We'll do a little recce at the White House. And listen, that was just my political statement. I just want to know how it's going to work logistically. You know what? It's not going to work logistically because they're insane. Thank you. They're insane. They're insane. Whereas also I'm going, oh God, I really wanted to work in the US.

Like eventually go back. I have no desire to be there, to be honest. No, babe, fair. Like, of course, why would you? But then this is also me going, God, but I do such a good bunch of accents. Yes. Yeah. But they might not like that. They don't do self-deprecating. But then this is also me going, God, but I do such a good bunch of accents. But they might not like that. They don't do self-deprecating.

No, that's the thing. So that's why I'm going. That's why I'm saying I feel like as well my comedy would work so much better over there that it makes me want to go there so badly. But not if I can't get an abortion or not if I can't. Not if my, you know, I can't go to a gay wedding. Oh. What's the point of living if you can't go to a gay wedding? Amen.

Preach. I'm sorry. Thank you. Jenna, that was beautifully said. Thank you so much. Preach. That was so well said. Wow. Jenna wins best on ground today.

Jenna, you have such a, can I just stop for a second? You have such a way with words. Thank you so much. And the way that you articulate yourself is unheard of. Yeah, it's profound. It's profound. Preach. It's profound.

Preach. How do you spell that? Preach. P, it's profound. It's profound. Preach. How do you spell that? Preach. P-L-A. Okay, I love this character, whatever she's working on. I love this. It's not an act. This is me going, is this a character?

I like it. Is it just me? Spotify, now do ratings. If you don't leave five stars You are dead inside Alright let's do an is it just you You can send one in as well Eloise This is when we get our idiots

We call our listeners our idiots It's endearing And there was a referendum We gave them We empowered them And we said you can change this If you think it's insulting And Justin Bieber didn't do that

No he didn't Well the bell's paused He stops doing a lot at the moment. Oh, God, remember that? Imagine if all celebs did that. Like Adele calling her fans my fucksticks or something. Yeah, that's nice. She goes, and do you like that?

And everyone's like, yes, Adele. We love it. This one comes in. This isn't just you. From Jasmine Schwartz. Now, that's a name. I love that. That could be in our New York show.

Jasmine Schwartz. The Jewish landlord. My name's Jasmine Schwartz, and I got a girl with Tiffany name. I love that. That could be in our New York show. Jasmine Schwartz. The Jewish landlord. My name's Jasmine Schwartz, and I got to go to Tiffany's. Yeah, yeah. I hate it. No, I'm doing that one again. Later, later. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, Jasmine Schwartz. You can workshop it. She wants our help. This is her idgim. Let's roll. Is it just me, or do you just feel so superior on the roads when you have the level of confidence to turn your maps off and get to your destination accurately? For example, I've had to have my maps on to get to a said red rooster near me.

And tonight I'm driving there without my maps. I feel like I'm queen of the road. Excuse me, passing on the left. Hi, just me, not using my maps, passing you in the slow lane. Wow. First of all, can I just say, Jasmine, get her details for the live show. Jasmine's amazing. She's the perky girl.

Fantastic. I love that she's improvising. She's also giving us, you know, I felt like I was there in the car with her. I felt like I was her. I was like POV. I could smell the Red Rooster. I don't know, Jasmine, where you're based, but you have got the role. She's booked.

Congratulations, you've been booked. And, yeah, we'll send the rehearsal dates soon. But, wow, I feel like I can relate to that. You can't drive Eloise, right? I can drive. I have my licence. I just haven't got a car here in Sydney. My car's still in Perth.

I'm just very scared of driving in Sydney and I do need to, like, get over that. Yeah, like once you've done it a few times, it's fine. I'm my licence. I just haven't got a car here in Sydney. My car's still in Perth. I'm just very scared of driving in Sydney and I do need to, like, get over that. Yeah, like once you've done it a few times, it's fine. I'm just nervous. Can anyone give me – that's actually a good segment for the show. Like one of you gives me a driving lesson. We did that about six months ago. We did that with Jenna and she's never driven since.

We just took her for one lesson and she goes, I'm inspired, I'm going to drive more. Never did. I plan to. So if you've got more commitment than her, sure. I think I just have a lot of places to go. Not saying you don't have places to go. I think I'm just, like, scared.

I feel like I need to just get over that fear. And I think having, like, two sexy Mitches in the car, you'll both be going, get the fuck over it. And I'll go, oh, okay. And then I'll just have to get over it. Yeah, it's like anything. You do it a few times. It's second nature.

I'm really obnoxious now. I used to be shit scared going over the Harbour Bridge. Now I'm probably have to get over it. Yeah, it's like anything. You do it a few times, it's second nature. I'm really obnoxious now. I used to be shit scared going over the Harbour Bridge. Now I'm probably a little bit too cocky. And you're going, get the fuck out of my way. Because are you both from New South Wales? Born and bred, I am, yeah. Wow. Okay, well, that makes it a little bit easier

to be in the car with both of you. I am reckless. I've got one point left. Sorry, what was Jasmine's question? I don't know. Oh, she's just saying, do you feel comfortable? Yeah, the laughter almost took me. I am reckless. I've got one point left. Sorry, what was Jasmine's question? I don't know. I lost in the laugh at the start. Yeah, the laughter almost took me. I was going, wow. I'm sorry, but when people don't need the maps,

it is kind of hot. My boyfriend sometimes knows where to go and I go, how the hell do you know where to go? That's a bit sexy. Whereas with me, I'd be like, shit, that's not sexy. Yeah, I'm the opposite though because even when I leave here today, I'll get in the car and just hit home on the maps,

even though I've done this trip a million times, I'll just pop the map on just in case because they let you know if there's a quick away or if there's an accident and stuff. So I just always have the maps on. Don't you think it's scary sometimes when you drive? This is like a little bit similar to Jasmine, maybe a bit like, you know, skew whiff. But when you're driving and then you get home and you go,

oh, my God, how the fuck did I just get home? Yeah. That's the scariest moment of your life. When you've disassociated. No, what's scarier is how did I just get over the Harbour Bridge? I disassociated. This is me going, I will never drive over the Harbour Bridge. I can't do it.

I'll never do that. I don't have a death wish. The Harbour Bridge is terrifying. I'm scared, but just the thought of like driving and then going, not for me. Well, I mean, Mitch is going, not for me. Not for this one. Mitch isbour Bridge is terrifying. I'm scared, but just the thought of driving and going, not for me, well, I mean, Mitch is going not for me. Not for this one. Mitch is like in a bus. Anyway, thank you, Jasmine Schweitz.

Thank you, Jasmine. Just don't disassociate. Thank you, when you're driving. Don't do like you get to Red Rooster and you go, how did I even get there? That's how accidents happen. Drive safe. Thanks, Jasmine. If you want to get in touch, send us a DM, couple of Mitch's, we'll get you on the show. Send me a DM too, if you want. Yeah, whizzer squeezer. Yeah, I might a DM, a couple of mitches. We'll get you on the show. Send me a DM too if you want. Yeah, whiz a squizzer.

Yeah, I might not reply, but just do it anyway. Jasmine, make sure you hit up Prize Keeper Jen for your prize, darling. Jen, do you actually have an idiom of your own you want to jump into? Yes. How fucked are we? We didn't even offer and say ladies first. No, but that's fair in this world. We usually do go, no, we insist.

We'll get the guests to go first. No, but it was only just Pride Month, so I feel like. Good point. Do you know what I mean? It's almost like, oh, that's okay, and then... Do you want to go now, or do you want to go last? No, I'll go last. You go now. Come on. I'm the guest. Off you go, Jenna. I'm the guest. True, true, true. Best till last. All right, go for it, Jenna. Is it just me, or...? Do you think it's dumb when pet owners act like they're pet and refer to themselves as hoomans instead of humans?

Oh, like they baby talk. Disgusting. Stop saying hoomans. It's humans. My hooman took me to the vet today. Cheeky hooman. It's like, no, call them by their name or a human. Why are you so good at every single other word except human?

Or just bark. You're a dog. Just bark. Just wolf. If you really were a dog, you would bark or you would meow if you're a cat, et cetera, et cetera. Also, I'm just going, shut up. Yes.

I'm just going, I hate that. Can I call out a friend of the show, a friend of ours, Abby Chatfield? Hi, Abby. Love her. Hi, Abby. We her. Hi, Abby. We love her so much. She's amazing. But she recently got a new dog, Wally.

It's so cute. It's such a cutie. Short for Walter. Short for Walter. Hilarious. And it's a rescue dog. It's a rescue dog. It's ticking all the boxes.

And it's gorgeous. A chocolate colour. Chocolate colour. It's got the fringe. It's gorgeous. Bangs. Problem is, she baby speaks it and talks as if the dog is talking back to her on her Instagram. So she's doing exactly what

Janet just said. I think I've even heard a human on her Instagram. No, no, no, no. She hasn't done this, has she? This is me going, I can't believe this. I'm going to try and get it up. You know what's almost as bad as the word human? I hate it when people use the word boyo. Oh, what's that? They're like, oh, I've got to go pick the boyos

up from school. Don't say this. Like, oh, look at that little boyo. Oh, what's that? I've never heard of boyo. They're like, oh, I've got to go pick the boyos up from school. Don't say this. Like, oh, look at that little boyo. I don't know. I've never even heard that and I can't believe I know that people are saying that. I must just hang out with more middle-aged women than you because that's the sort of people that would say it. They think it's new. They're like, oh, do the TikTok kids say boyo?

No. No. And this is you going, no one's saying that. No one's saying boyo. Dickhead-o. No one's saying boyo No one's saying it. No one's saying boyo, dickheado. No one's saying boyo. Oh, my God. No, but I do find it a bit like with I guess maybe because I'm allergic to cats,

so I'm a bit scared of cats. Depending like Ruby's cat Percy, I can deal with Percy, except when he jumps up sometimes on the couch. That's not an allergy. That's annoyance. I think you're annoyed by it. And also like I will get a bit of a rash. That's an allergy. That's an allergy and a bit of sneezy, puffy eyes. allergy, that's annoyance. That's annoyance. And also, like, I will get a bit of a rash. That's an allergy.

That's an allergy and a bit of sneezy, puffy eyes. Okay, that is. But of course, I pull it off. Of course. Don't worry about that. Do you know to take, like, allergy meds before you go to Ruby's place? I do. When I stayed there, when I first moved back to Sydney after escaping COVID,

I did, yeah. See, you're a smart woman. My friends always rock up and just go, what? Oh, I forgot I'm allergic to cats. And then they try and make it my problem. I'm like, bring a hot, what are they called? Telfast. Yeah, Telfast.

Yeah, Zyrtec. They're like raw, I said raw dogging, probably raw catting. Raw catting. Raw pussing. I find this annoying. Yes, I find this annoying that similar vibe, there's a cat, a mangy cat that's outside my house. My followers would know about this and it's just like it doesn't have a home.

It just goes meow on the street and there's the neighbour, our neighbour to my house, walked out once and I was going, oh, my God, get away. I'm so scared of it. The cat. Because it's going meow and it won't go away. It's like intimidating me. And cats love to

grind they really yeah they really and i'm going get away i'm going get the fuck away you're going get away from me and then the girl comes up this neighbor and she goes to she goes to the cat not to me she goes oh does this woman not like you she's not talking to you and i went um i'm actually um allergic like i actually can't handle um my face is my business and she goes she goes oh it's human giving you attention i was going fuck you the cat can't understand a fucking word you're saying but i can you fucking bitch and i was so angry i was going why is this happening to me right now and i was like of all people and i was going cat owners need to sort it out. So that's just a little side note.

I get what you mean. And that sort of, I felt tied in. Maybe not. Cut it out if you need. Just don't speak on behalf of a pet. This is live. This is on air currently. Well, you know, I'm going, hello, Australia.

Give us a call right now. Call right now and I'll tell you that I think you're hot. Oh, I'd pay for that. Would you? All right, let's do Yuri Jim. Let's do Yuri's Just Me. Okay, you ready? Is it just me or?

Is it really fucking annoying when people tell you about their friend that you've never heard of and they talk about them like you should know who they are? Oh, like they use the full name. The full name or just even the first name yeah and they talk about them as if like it happened with a friend of mine she's like oh yeah i'm going up to the blue mountains with michelle and i'm like who the fuck's michelle yeah and you just did the correct thing you said a friend of mine see it happened with a friend of mine and she wouldn't have done that right i wouldn't imagine if i just went yeah it was my friend like not even my friend

i wouldn't say my friend i said yeah me and um you know me and josie the other day and you go who the fuck is josie and why is josie relevant exactly if i said ruby you know who ruby is if i said abby yes who abby is if i said like you know mr tumness you go who the fuck is that i know who mr tumness i don't know why i said Mr Tumnus. That was odd. Strictly from well-known people, yeah. Yeah, this is me going, that's actually, I've contradicted everything I just said. I'm getting to do with James Corden on Monday. Like, everyone would get that. Yeah, everyone would get that.

But I just find it so weird that people do that. It's almost like this weird thing of, like, do you think I know who you're talking about? Or do you just, like, not care and you just talk about your friends as if everybody should know each other? I don't know why that annoys me so much. I get thrown when there's too many names in a story. Like with my ADHD, they're like, oh yeah, me and Tiff went down and we bumped into Barb and then that's not even relevant to the story. I'm thrown.

I've lost interest. Who the fuck is Barb and Tiff? Yeah. Like it's going, give me the background. I'm not watching. This isn't a series. I'm not watching this going, oh, I can look up the IMDB later. You know what I mean?

It's like this is happening in real time. You know, we should make life more like sitcoms. Like, if you watch it and pay attention to when they're introducing characters, everything's explained. Oh, 100%. There'll be an argument and they'll go, well, listen, Debbie, as your partner of 12 years, and considering we just put the mortgage down on this apartment,

I'm furious. And you never say that in real life, but it works when you're watching a show. It gives you the context. Exactly. You need some context, you know? And I just find that really weird. And you never say that in real life, but it works when you're watching a show. It gives you the context. Exactly. You need some context, you know? And I just find that really weird. And then sometimes it's like someone from high school and you're like, I haven't thought about that person in 10 years. So long.

Why the hell are you telling me about them? And it's not necessarily a good reminder all the time. I'm like, oh, fuck, Molly. Why do you hang out with Molly? Why do you hang out with Molly? And why are you telling me that? Now I don't want to hang out with you. Because I'm going to say something about Molly that you're not

going to like. No, just kidding. But I might. Is it just me? The rude shocks of young adulthood. Alright, before we let Eloise go, I think we should do a staple of the show, a sound of silence. It's tradition that we get our guests to do this one.

Let's jump in. I'm so nervous. Don't be nervous. I'm scared. Sound of silence. So how it works is you call someone. I'm thinking our mate Ruby Tease. We haven't spoken to her in a while. She was a guest in the early days of the podcast.

So it'll be good to catch up. She's going to go, what the fuck's going on? I only saw her last night. That's what we want. Yeah, that is what we want. Do I have to make it like there's a technical, something technical's going on? It can be anything you like.

So what you do is you call them and then you have a bit of a chat. That can go as long as you like. And then as soon as they ask you a question, just never answer it. Okay. And see how long that silence can go for. We're timing it. Yeah, we're timing it. You might beat the record.

Why am I shaking? One bridging phrase, which will continue. Hold on. That will keep her on the line. Hey, hold on. Yes, correct. And then at the end do we go, hi, doll? No, you just wait until we say, you beat the record,

or until they hang up. Oh, I'm so nervous. It's great because you technically don't have to say anything. Yeah, you just sit there and look hot. I love how that's like, this for me is so nerve wracking. It's like, I'm exactly trying to do this. And you stripped in front of a baffle of hands. Yeah, and you're going, why is this so hard for me?

A theatre kid being like, silence? What do you mean? Yeah, you're going, silence? Oh, God, there's only so much that we did in that, you know, in Mozart. All right, give Ruby a ring. All right, Mitch has the timer. Hold the mic. Can you hold the mic?

On speaker. Okay. Oh, my God, I'm pissing. Ruby-licious Bitch Wow She's I'm trying to think of who else

I could do What about your mum Because you've got Because you're like you know You've got a big wog family right Yeah I'm even looking at of who else I could do. What about your mum? Because you've got a big WOG family, right? Yeah. I'm even looking at Yaya. But Yaya might be a bit confused. Your grandma.

We don't want to disorientate her. Oh, she's at work. Ruby's at work. Okay, all right. I'll just say all good, boo. No, I say, have you got five? I'm trying to think. Yeah, I'll try mum.

Well, that's an advantage in a way because as if a mum's going to hang up, she's going to be concerned. True. I'm setting myself up for success. Do it. Go for it. Should we do? All right, Anita.

Let's see if she's she. Anita. Okay. Gorgeous. Here we go. Hi, Louise. Hi, mum. How are you?

Yeah, I'm good. Yeah yeah i'm just at the hairdresser oh nice okay yeah yeah no that's all right i can talk to you for a sec yeah yeah yeah um did you get my text um about my uh birthday no i only taney showed me and i said i haven't got that yet. Maybe I haven't looked. Oh, sorry. Maybe I didn't. Oh, God, sorry. Maybe I forgot to send it to you because, yeah,

obviously I know that you know when it is and everything. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, that's what I thought. Maybe because Aunty Taney said we're coming or I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So you are inviting aunties and uncles. Are you there?

Hello? Yeah, yeah. Are you there? Are you there? Oh. Eloise? I don't know what's going on. I've just lost her.

Are you there? Yeah, it is. Hello? Eloise? Oh, she gave up. 44 seconds. Is that good? No. No.

Can you believe that? Nah, she doesn't need to know. She's fine. The sneeze. Just text her. Sorry, Tunnel. She'll get it. I'm screaming. I'm sure she's a listener.

Yeah, the record is two minutes 30 from Carla from Bankstown. Oh, really? So you're 44 seconds and you were freaking out. I know that our audience can't see it. I think it's because, like, when you live away from home, it's like you would never. Oh, true. Oh, look, she's calling me back.

I'll take it quickly. Tell her, yeah. Okay, okay. Hi, Mum. Oh, my God, sorry. That was a prank call. I'm on a radio show. Hi, Mum. Oh, my God, sorry. That was a prank call. I'm on a radio show. Hi.

How are you? Not really. Yeah. More of a podcast. With radio stars. With radio stars in Sydney. And they told me to call you and I had to be quiet. Not really.

All right. Yeah, no. Thank you, Anita. Thank you, Anita. Nah, thanks for doing that, Anita. What's the cut, Anita? Are you getting bangs? We thought the reception in here was bad. Oh, no, Anita. Thank you, Anita. Nah, thanks for doing that, Anita. What's the cut, Anita? Are you getting bangs? We thought the reception in here was bad.

Oh, no, sorry. We'll send her the link. We'll send her the link. We'll send you the link. It's just like a funny thing and I'll send you the text as well. Okay. All right. Love you.

Thanks, Mum. Sorry. Love you too. Bye. Enjoy your haircut. Bye. God bless her. So is Tanya invited or what?

Yeah. Oh, good. That's my auntie. You never answered her question. I'm sorry. God bless her. So is Tanya invited or what? Yeah. Oh, good. That's my auntie. You never answered her question. I'm sorry. I'm laughing. Can you bless her soul? She was so sweet.

It took her a while to ask a question, didn't it? I know. I was going, mum? No, no, no. That's so funny. She didn't ask how you were. Did you notice? Yeah, I noticed that too.

And I was going, mum? Well, that's the end of us, Eloise. Oh, my God. That's the show done. I can't believe I got to do this with these sexy people It was a lot of fun Coming from the first hot comedian God don't call us sexy If you want to see Eloise live if you're in Sydney Or Melbourne, you're at Sydney or Melbourne Fringe

From September That is so exciting Is it Sydney Fringe or Melbourne Fringe? It's Sydney Fringe and Melbourne Fringe It's Sydney Fringe And Melbourne Fringe So yeah And it's called The Audition Room

Me and Harry Morrissey Playing casting agents From hell I love it Improvised show We're going to have A few Some of Australia's

Best actors Comedians Radio stars Hopefully You could add that in Auditioning to be In a big blockbuster film But yeah

So we'll see Yeah I'm guessing people Can get the tickets On your Instagram as well. Instagram, yeah, just a link in bio and I'll be thrashing it on the socials. So yeah, follow me and you'll get some more info. And yeah, it's a really funny show. It's really fun.

We only got to do one and it had such a great response. So I'm excited. Gorgeous. Yay! So can't wait to have you guys there. I don't want to get the Insta handle wrong it's the Weezer Squeezer that's right yeah yeah W-E-E-Z-A-S-Q-U-E-E-Z-A

cool yeah well you can head to Weezer Squeezer on Instagram to keep up with everything you're doing but yeah this has been a hoot oh I've had the best time thank you so much for having me will you do a podcast because I feel like I feel like people have asked me and I've never thought about doing my own but I feel like maybe I should.

An improvised podcast would be hilarious. Oh, my gosh. We could do that. We could do that in a heartbeat. Let's just do it. We got the kid. We got the goal. Come on.

The what? The goal. The goal. The goal. The gumption. We've got the goal and the gumption. Yeah. You've got the goal, actually.

You've actually got the goal. You've got the goal. The gumption. No one's actually explained what it is yet. I said, what's that? When you get the goal, you'll know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll know as soon as you get it.

As soon as it hits you. You might need a bit of my lanta, but you'll know you've got the goal. I'm screaming. No, if anyone wants me to do a podcast, just message me and I'll see about, yeah. You can just pay me a bit of money. iHeartRadio pays. Really? So much money.

Oh, my God. iHeart. Should I message them? Eloise, if you can see the money. No, just pop down the hallway, darling. Do you know who I should? I just walk in with my n money. Oh, my God. I heart. Should I message them? Eloise, if you can see the money. No, just pop down the hallway, darling. They're just down there. The head office is down there. I just walk in with my nipples.

Oh, they love it. They love those two nips. I want a podcast. Wait, hold on. Oh, my God. What would you say? Hold on. I'm John I heart.

And I'm like this. And knock. And I'll. Come in. Hello, Mr. I heart. Hi. Hi. Hi.

I'm Eloise Eftos And I Want a podcast Sorry I couldn't Fuck I fucked that You want a podcast And I want a podcast Now

What's your idea And I want you to give it to me What's your idea It's me talking And they'll film it as well So that people actually Want to listen Listen here kid

We get a lot of offers Day in day out People come to my door Tits out Nips out. And I say one thing. What do you say? I go, you got the gall.

I've got the gall and I've got the gumption and I want to do a podcast right now. Check your phone. You got the gall. You got the call. You got the gig, babe. Oh, my God. The podcast is yours. Oh, my God.

I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Sold. Wow. Yep. Do that now. Well, you've rehearsed. Off we go.

It's me going. And I'll see you guys after. Eloise, after us, we love you. Thanks for coming on. We love you guys. Thank you so much for having me. We'll see you next week, everybody. See you then, idiot.

Bye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to AD Debrief. This is our secret segment on the end. We pretend that the show is done and then we just keep talking.

Eloise is not here because the secret segment is so precious to us that we keep it a secret from people that aren't already aware of it. Correct. So people like Jenna, she came in, she knew about the secret segment. It's chill. She can stick around. She would have been upset if we didn't invite her to stay. But the fact that we said, all right, we're done, Eloise, and she said, great, I'm off. That proved to me that she has no idea what this secret segment is. She had an Uber to get into. She had an audition. She's a busy girl, Eloise. Isn't she funny? She's so funny. Ridiculous. And so hot, too. Yes. Well, what a show that was. Yeah. I've got a bit of a sugar headache because Jenna gave us some cake that came into the office, and it's like the most

dense brownie ever. And I'm at that age now where sugar really knocks me around. Oh, I'm at the point where I have to have sugar or I get the headache. Like my body has become so dependent on it that if I don't have the sugar, I get the headache. Oh, you're sugar addicted. It's the opposite. Like me with nicotine. Yes.

And now there's all chocolate down your white top. I know. I look like that kid from Matilda. What's his name? Who? The fat boy that gets trunched and makes him eat the whole cake in front of the audience. I remember I watched that as a kid and everyone went,

oh, wouldn't that be hell? And I was thinking. I was thinking. Hey, principal, get me some cake. I thought that was my dream. Same. Every time I watched it, I was like, oh, I wish my principal would do that.

I'd eat the whole thing. When I was an obese child, I used to literally daydream about, you know how people would say, if you could have one superpower, what would it be? Mine was the ability to freeze time. Like I can just click and everyone around me freezes and then I can walk around. And my grand plan with this superpower was just to rob the canteen and like take all the yogurt sticks, all the slushies, everything, all the chicken sticks and then then finish them off, wipe my face, sit back down, resume. And no one would know. And then the canteen lady's like, where the fuck have all the chicken sticks gone?

I loved yogurt sticks. Were they the pink ones? Yeah. It's like the yogurty centre thing. I don't even know what you'd call that because it's not yogurt. It's not yogurt. No. I used to eat the pink off and then unwrap it.

I was a weird child. Yeah, beautiful. I remember the only superpower I ever wanted was to be invisible, like the Harry Potter cloak. That's all I wanted. But time would carry on as you did it. Time would carry on. I'd just be able to snoop around and watch things.

But then everyone would be like, where's Mitch? Where is he with me? No one suspects a thing with my power. Oh, no. My freeze time. That trench coat wouldn't fit around me. So I'd be invisible, but maybe 40 centimetres of my back would be visible.

My plumber's crack, my ankles would all be visible. Your invisibility cloak doesn't fit. Everyone would go, is that a levitating crack? But also, you're so tall that you'd just see your shoes. It wouldn't go to the ground. It'd just be my ankles. Your ankles and shoes just walking across. Fake Yeezys?

Walking themselves? Yeah. What was your superpower, Jenna? Instant bushfires. Spontaneous combustion. Yes. With anyone that made direct eye contact for too long, they'd just explode.

Oh, I would love that. Anyone that started a conversation with you would die. Yeah. Anyone who she didn't like their tone. Dead. All of the above. I feel like Eloise is the antithesis, the opposite of Jenna. Like polar opposites.

How'd you go sitting next to her? I liked her. Yeah. I liked her. I mean, if it was Nat, I wouldn't be here. You'd be furious. I would walk out, storm out. Can't stand that.

Nat Penfold. That disgusting creature. We should get Nat on too. Yeah, let's get Nat. Don't you dare. Love Nat. Oh, goodness me. And what are we watching at the moment, guys?

I've got no new shows and I need something. You've got to watch Uncoupled. Oh, what is that? Oh, it only dropped last week. It's a new rom-com with Neil Patrick Harris and a bunch of 50-year-old gays in New York City. Oh, I've seen the ad for that. Controversial opinion. I don't like Neil Patrick Harris.

He rubs me the wrong way. I used to like him in How I Met Your Mother, but ever since the whole Amy Winehouse cake debacle. Sorry, I'm not across that. But this show was good if I could finish my recommendation. I was going to talk it up, but no. True. Why is it good? Is he really fun? Sorry, I'm not across that. But this show was good if I could finish my recommendation. I was going to talk it up. No, no. True. Why is it good?

Is he really fun? No, but there's enough other characters in it. He's not as fucking annoying as he was in How I Met Your Mutt. Sorry, Mother. Yeah, that's the name. And then he's still a little bit insufferable, but there's enough characters there that make up for it. Oh, that's good.

Is it on Netflix? Yeah. Yeah, and they're only like 28 minute episodes i breezed through the whole series in like a day okay all right what's it called um uncoupled and then i also watched the shania twain documentary oh how is that oh well i already knew everything oh so i didn't learn anything new but as someone who doesn't really know much about it they'd be like oh my god this bad bitch where's she been hiding all me life? Right. See, I would have that experience because I couldn't. If Shania Twain walked into this room, I'd ask her to get me a chilled water.

You should watch it then because, yeah, you'll be blown away. She's an impressive woman. But her voice is very weird now. Oh, really? It's changed? Well, you'll learn about that in the documentary. Oh, right. About what happened, the traumatic event that changed her voice but her speaking voice has been rendered the most

unconfident and un like what's what i'm looking for i am that's literally how she talks is that how she sounds yeah and then it was doing throwbacks to old interviews of her and she's there like chill like so relaxed a great guest on all these talk shows and then she's on her own documentary and barely stirringing a sentence together. Can you just tell me? It's not a spoiler. It's a real experience. What happened?

Oh, well, she was riding a horse and got stung by a tick and that gave her Lyme's disease, which affected her vocal cords. No way. So she couldn't sing for like 10 years. Oh my God. She went from being the artist who was behind the album that has sold the most ever copies by a female. Right. To this day, no one ever copies by a female. Right.

To this day, no one's ever outsold her. Yeah. To just not being able to sing. Oh. And so she's had to kind of do rehab and shit to get her voice back. But it's still, I don't know why she just kind of like sounds different. Limes attacks your muscles and everything. That's a horrific disease.

It's terrible. I didn't know that. Well, I shouldn't have told you. You would have learnt all about it and felt the pity in the documentary. No, I will watch it because I've been hooked in. It's like. I didn't know that. Well, I shouldn't have told you. You would have learnt all about it and felt the pity in the documentary. No, I will watch it because I've been hooked in. It's like the J-Lo documentary. Hayden, watch this. She doesn't get the Oscar. I'm like, fucking hell, that was the whole cliffhanger of the whole thing.

I will say this one was slightly more interesting than the J-Lo one and less self-indulgent. Oh, they really milked the J-Lo one. Yeah. Three days until Oscar nomination was released. She days until Oscar nomination release. Yeah, I know. And she's just getting a coffee. I'm like, I don't need to see this.

Yeah. Okay, good recommendation. Jenna, what are you watching? I'm watching The Twelve on Foxtel. I'm up to the four. Or binge. Shut up. Second time.

What's it about? It's about a jury, like 12 jurors, 14 actually, deciding on a case, like a trial. Oh, is it real? No, no. It's fiction involving a young girl. Wow. It's a very good Australian show. Well, I saw Where the Crawl Dads Sing.

Oh, I saw that too. Oh, my God. I've never been more twisted in my life. Have you read the book? Yeah, there's a massive twist at the end. This isn't the spoiler. Oh, you didn't read the book before? I didn't read the book.

Oh, okay, yeah. I can't read. Can you tell me what it's about? spoiler. Oh, you didn't read the book before? I didn't read the book. Oh, okay, yeah. I can't read. Can you tell me what it's about? It's about, you know, singing. No, what's that? The art of singing. For the internationals, what is that? The internationals, your throat, it's in your neck.

And singing is, no. So Weathercordhead Singers, it's this girl who lives in the swamp down south in the US. And she's raised there her whole life. Her family all leave and she stays there, being abused by her dad. And she's like a real southern girl. No electricity. She lives in this cabin.

Oh, my God, Jenner, is it about you? Yeah. This is one of, you've lived this life. Yeah, it was me. Lives off the land, has a fan motorboat, like real swamp girl. They actually call her swamp girl. And the town vilifies this poor girl. Is it set in present day?

No, it's set in, like, early 1900s. Nill interest. Yeah. I hate shit set in the olden days. Like, if it's any earlier than 70s or 80s, I'm out. Read the book. The book is... No, I quit reading years ago.

The book is great. No. The movie was great. The twist was even better. That's all I liked. It was a bit long and it dragged on. The crawdad sung far too much. They're good singers. Good singers. But by. It was a bit long and it dragged on. The crawdad sung far too much. They're good singers.

Good singers. But by the end, I was ready for it to end. But I enjoyed it. Part of culture, you know, so you could talk about it. Good acting. I really like the acting. She's very good. Very good.

Daisy. But I need a good series. I come home from doing the radio show and I go, I've got nothing to watch. I'm telling you, Uncoupled is an easy watch and it's good. I do need an easy watch. Something that I can come in and out of. I've never seen Neil Patrick Harris play a gay before, so that was nice. Oh, true.

Yeah. There's just something about him, do you know what I mean? He just kind of annoys me. Oh, then don't watch then. No, it's just my opinion on him. Well, if it makes you feel any better, he gets dumped and he's heartbroken the whole time. Oh, maybe that's the lens I need

to watch with. Yes. Yeah, okay. All right. I might give it a go. I've also been watching Below Deck. Oh, what? I did not picture you to be a trashy reality viewer, Jenna. Yes, because when I got my gum graft, I mean my boob job, I had nothing to watch.

So I just sat there watching that. Oh, my God, Jenna. Yeah. Of all things. Yeah. Yeah, right. Below Deck. I love how we always say we've got nothing to watch. The problem is not that. It's that there's too much. Too much, Jenna. Yeah. Of all things. Yeah. Yeah, right. Below deck. I love how we always say we've got nothing to watch.

The problem is not that. It's that there's too much. Too much to watch. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. That's the problem. Hey, did you guys see this on Enduring Idiots? I thought we had to talk about it.

It was posted during this week from Katie Nightingdale, the story about her house. She lost her house, one of our listeners. Yeah, I did. Oh, my God. Wasn't it awful? So she posted this in our group. She said, my partner and I lost our home on the weekend to an electrical fire.

We lost 95% of our home. We have salvaged some clothes from our bedroom, and I did save what was hanging up on the clothesline before the fire got bad. Just going through what I saved, and, hey, at least the only jumper that made it out was this one, and it's our merch. Oh, thank God. How does that happen, out was this one, and it's our merch. Oh, thank God. How does that happen, an electrical fire? Yeah.

I don't know. That must be like a spark or a dodgy. Is it maybe like heating or something? It has to be. Because it's cold. Yeah, God. Oh, maybe. That's horrific.

95% of your house. That's terrible. I wonder what 5% was saved. It's like a tap. Yeah. How does that even happen? One brick. I also read that she lost her rabbit and pet snake.

Oh, don't tell me that. So Katie's put a GoFundMe link, which is amazing. So we'll put that up on the socials, but we'll put it in Enduring Idiots. Oh, I haven't seen it. Is it already in Enduring Idiots? Yeah, it's in Enduring Idiots. I've not seen this. Help Cam and Katie get back on their feet.

They've raised five grand of the six grand goal. I donated last night. So if you want to jump in and give them some money, even five bucks, guys. Should I pin it to the top of the group? Yeah, good idea. I think so. I don't actually know if I can do that. Is that a thing? Yeah, you should be able to. Can you make an announcement?

Yeah, pin to featured. There we go. It should be right at the top of Enduring Idiots. Guys, you know, it's tough. People are doing it tough at the moment, all that fucking inflation. But if you can donate, I mean, she lost her house. She's a fellow idiot. You've got to rally around them. Where's the link?

It's in the comments. It's in the comments. Yeah. Goodo. Six grand, though. That'll get you there. At the same time, it's still not enough. They do need more.

Also, it's the little things that go, like the photo books. I just had an intrusive thought. What? Okay, I'm not saying that this has happened, but just imagine. Just sit there and imagine. I'm not saying this has happened, but can you imagine if Cam and Katie were just really elaborate scammers and they got a Google image of a house burning and they took a photo of our jumper? Just imagine.

I'd actually be impressed. Oh, and this was a whole rouge? Yeah. I'd be like, fuck, you're cunning. I don't think that's a stock image. No, I'm not saying it is. Like I said, it's an intrusive thought. Oh, if they did, yeah.

No, look, that'd be great scammers. That'd be a good Netflix series that I'd watch. You wouldn't expect that. No way. Thank God. That would be a unique Netflix series that I'd watch. You wouldn't expect that. No way. Thank God. That would be a unique scam if it was, but it absolutely isn't. I'm not saying it is. No, well, they've got my money, so they've scammed me if it's real.

Oh, my God, you did $85. I'm going to one-up you and do a 90. Oh, you prick. Why don't you just match it? Hey? Why don't you just match it? Because we're not equal, darling. I think we are.

What makes you think we are? I only did 50. Oh, don't feel bad. No, from you, that's a lot. That's a lot. Shut up. All right, Mitra's donating now. We'll pin it to the top of Enduring Idiots, but we're thinking of you, Katie and family. That's awful.

Yeah. I haven't told either of you this, but I had a car accident last weekend. What? Yeah. You kept that quiet? I did. What happened? Well, I was listening to the new Beyonce album.

Oh, my God. Hayden was away. He went camping I was listening to the new Beyonce album. Oh, my God. Hayden was away. He went camping. So I had the weekend to myself. Oh, my God. You're that codependent. You just drive off the road. I can't live without you.

Where is he? He normally outweighs me on the seat. The car was like doing a wheelie on the side. My car wasn't used to being empty on that side. No, so I was listening to the new Beyonce album and I was really into it. And I parked at Westfield. And I wasn't even parking in this spot, but I wanted to parallel park behind it,

so I nosed into this car park to reverse out. And I went in, reversed straight out, and there were two cars either side of me, and I just scraped this Mercedes-Benz. I've never had a car. I am a reckless driver, but I'm good. I've never had a bingle like that. Just fine having one point left.

I know. I'm just bad with myself. No one else has ever involved or hurt and i scrape this car the entire side of this mercedes-benz i'm fully insured which is good only recently did that owner have to talk to you well the thing is it was a westfield so i park my car and i go this is now this is an intrusive thought i thought i could drive off no that's a dog act i'm telling you the intrusive thought and then i thought fuck no yeah because i'm rich and famous but do you ever just stand there and wait until they're finished I could drive off. No, that's a dog act. I'm telling you the intrusive thought. And then I thought, fuck no.

Yeah. Because I'm rich and famous. But do you ever just stand there and wait until they've finished? That's the point. What do you do? So I sit there and I go, no, of course I'll leave a note. So I pull in and a security guard sees me. Of course. He goes, fuck, there's a witness.

And he goes, you better leave a note. And I go, yeah, I'm going to. And he goes, that's a Mercedes. I go, I find out. It's a Mercedes. Anyway, so i'm like rounding scourging through my car my glove box and the only paper that i have is my blood pressure results a couple weeks ago that's got like that was a big bit of paper massive yeah yeah it was like a

blanket and um it had like my blood sugar and my highs and my fatty lipids and my elbow they're gonna fucking get this so i tear it in half and then fold it and then write on the back. And I go, I am so, so sorry. I was listening to the new Beyonce album and I hit your car. Did you actually put that detail in? Yes, because I thought I'd try to win them over. Anyway, I wrote the note and then I put it there and then I waited for 15 minutes. But then I left.

And then they didn't call that night. And I thought, fuck, they didn't call the next day. And I'm like, oh, my God, have I gotten away with this? Or are they going to call the cops? They didn't call that night. And I thought, fuck, they didn't call the next day. And I'm like, oh, my God, have I gotten away with this? Or are they going to call the cops? They didn't call the next day. And they finally called yesterday at the time of recording. And he was so sweet, so cute. He's like, I own the leather boot store in Westfield.

How bad was it? I'll show you a photo. It's not that bad. But it was a Mercedes. And Mercedes was like. That means nothing to me, by the way. Is that a good thing? No, a bad thing.

Because to repair. Is that a flex if you've got a Mercedes and Mercedes was like... That means nothing to me, by the way. Is that a good thing? No, a bad thing. Because to repair... No, is that a flex if you've got a Mercedes? Um, yeah. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Because I felt like that was a key detail in the story, but only for car people. For me, I'm just like, and? No, because Mercedes is so expensive. They're more expensive to repair. Yeah, right. So it's fucked for me.

So this is their car. But doesn't your insurance cover it? Yeah, of course. Oh, that's nothing. Yeah, I know. But some people don't want to go through insurance because they have a friend or they might own a mechanic. And if you claim on your insurance, it's a whole fucking thing. I know. Jenna was in the car when I got fucking sideswiped.

A horrific accident. It was way worse than yours. Yeah, well, mine's not that bad, Jenna. There it is. Nothing, right? So I left the note. And it's not that far under, too. I probably could have put it is. Nothing, right? We went through. I left the note. And it's not that far under two. I probably could have put it in.

I could have easily blown away. I know. And I thought that. I'm like, fuck, I'm going to get incriminated. So he calls. He goes, I own the boot store. Do you need to get boots fixed? I'm like, he's trying to get a sale out of me.

He's calling me. And he's very sweet. And we're sorting it. But that was my weekend last week. It's not good. Shit. Hayden's like, I leave you unsupervised for one weekend and look what you've done.

And I had no one to tell. You know when something like that happens you want to just share it with someone. Hayden wasn't there and I'm like, who do I call? So I text his mum. His mum? Before Jenna or I, you texted his mother. I did. What did you say? Oh God, Raylene, you'll never believe what just happened to me. I mean, he's Filipino. I doubt it's Raylene. You want him to be charged, Raylene, you'll never believe what just happened to me. I mean, he's Filipino.

I doubt it's Raylene. You wonder when you trust Raylene, you're not quite sure yourself. I don't know her name. Minda. Minda? Yeah. Oh, Minda. You won't believe what I did.

If it's a matter of texting, couldn't you text Hayden still? I did text him. Bad Wi-Fi was camming. Anyway, it was truly tragic, guys. Well, not compared to our accident. Yeah, what happened? I think you've told this story, but... Oh, well, I was unfazed. Flashbacks. Well, I was...

We were driving along a highway so there was more than one lane and the car next to me tried to merge but didn't check the blind spot and so they just bumped into me. And so it's important to note that they bumped into me. They were on my side of the car, so if anyone was going to be killed it would be me But based off Jenna's reaction

You'd think that she just had a fucking gun to her head She was like The car almost rolled How did they hit you? Oh it slammed us Yeah it's just a side swipe No it slammed Do you know what I mean?

Like they tried to merge but I was there Got it They tried to come into my lane but then hit the car Because it wasn't There was no spot I was there Yeah Did they stop? Pull over? Yeah we did all that shit Yeah They tried to come into my lane but then hit the car because there was no spot I was there. Did they stop, pull over?

Yeah, we did all that shit. I kept driving though because we were doing a trip down the south coast. And I was like, it still drives. You two were doing a trip together? Yeah. Just the two of you? No. Who with?

We were meeting others. When was this? Last weekend. I've still got bruises. Do you? Yeah. Interesting. Yeah.

Is that a problem? No, no. I just wasn't aware that you two hung out. After what he says about you behind your back. Oh. That's just why it's shocking to me. But anyway, still bring him cake. Did you ever... No, this would have been like two years ago or something.

No, I think it was last year Really? Yeah We've had the pandemic It's probably four years ago No it was last year It was during pandemic I feel like it was end of 2020 I think

Yeah Not that that is at all important No it doesn't really matter But no skin off my clit I don't give a fuck No What a visceral image Skin off a clit

That would hurt I'm consumed What about I love I. Skin off a clit. That would hurt. I'm consumed. I love inserting the word clit just into random everyday sayings like, oh, she passed by the skin of her clit. That's quite a lot, actually. That's a lot of skin. Yeah, that's quite a bit of skin. Also, if the skin of her teeth doesn't make sense,

there's no skin on the teeth. That's the point. Oh, you bet you didn make sense. There's no skin on the teeth. That's the point. Oh, you bet you didn't even, it's impossible that you did it. Yeah, it's like saying it was so close. Like, oh my God, it was a bee's pube away. That's how close it was. I wonder if on a micro level they have pubes. Google it, Jenna.

Okay. No, they're covered in hair. Bees are well covered by branched body hairs. Yeah, they're just a giant pube. No, but I'm talking about just their box region. I think it's the same as the hair throughout their body. Look at these wild pubes. Oh, God.

I can see the reflection. Nothing worse than pubes everywhere. Yuck. Mitchell, how do you shave in this? Do you shave in the sink or do you do it in the shower? Because I hate getting the hair all over the basin. Ew, in the sink? Yeah, we do it in the sink sometimes. What do it in the shower? Because I hate getting the hair all over the basin. Ew, in the sink? Yeah, we do it in the sink sometimes.

What are you referring to? Shaving your face. Oh. Oh. I usually do that in the bath. Really? Yeah. But then the hair goes everywhere.

Well, then you can just get the shower. I don't have that much facial hair, Jenna. It's quite fine, actually. Well, not a lot. Oh, God. A couple of piddly whiskers just go down the drain after. Yeah. Uh-huh.

All right. Well, it's probably time to leave on that puberty note. Sorry, I'm trying to think of other sayings to insert clit into. Oh. Oh, yeah. Stay away from them. You want to keep them at clit's length. I'll just join the gym.

It's fantastic. Where? Oh, clitness first. What? Clitness first. No? Clitness first. No, you swap out a body part. Like, oh, sorry, can I just pick your clit about something? I stub my clit.

It's on the tip of my clit, I can't remember. No. Maybe it was just a clit length away. Can't speak. I just need to talk to someone. I've just been bott length away. Can't speak. I just need to talk to someone. I've just been bottling that up for so long. I need to get it off my clit. Yuck.

That's awful. I've just got so much on my clit. That's the best one. Oh, for God's sake. Jenna. Oi, Jenna, give us a clip with this fucking... Yuck. Don't say yuck. What?

Don't be one of those misogynistic gays that thinks that a woman's genitalia is repulsive. Grow up. Don't you put words in my clip. That was good. Yep,it. That was good. Yep, good. Good. That was good. Oh, that joke's a bit on the clit.

Look at it. Wow. How exciting. All right, we need to go. I need to get out of here. It's a pleasure being with you this week, everybody. Thank you for listening. Sorry, I'm still trying to think of more.

Clit wide open. Eyes wide open. We got it, yeah. Excuse me, are you listening? Yeah, I'm all clit. I'll hear you out. I'm all clit. Well, you know how there's lowbrow comedy?

What about high clit comedy? I'll hear you out. I'm all clit. Well, you know how there's lowbrow comedy. What about high clit comedy? Well, you'd assume it's low clit, considering where it is on the body. Yeah. True.

Checks out. All right, that's enough. There's got to be more. I'm sure there is. I'm so stressed at work. I'm just so frustrated. I'm pulling my clit out over here Not by the hair of my clitty clit clit I'm ready to go when you are

Have you got a couple more in here? Oh sorry You don't have to stick your clit out for me Is that it? Stick your neck out? Yeah Nah that was a reach to stick your clit out for me. Is that it? Stick your neck out? Yeah, stick your neck out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah, that was a reach.

I had a clit feeling. I got a gut feeling. That'd be a good feeling to get, you'd hope. Jenna, I'm so glad you brought this cake today. How did you know that I'm such a sweet clit? That's quite sweet. You've been living at your current place for a while now. You must be looking to move out.

You always get itchy clit. Got a cream for that. Okay, everyone, thank you for listening so much. It's been a great episode. It didn't end on a high, did it? No, it didn't. More of a low. I just got obsessed.

A real low. Low-click comedy. If you have any, yeah, clits, hit us up in the dams. Otherwise, we'll see you next week, everybody. Jenna. Don't forget, leave a review. Jenna. Yes.

Where were you on Tuesday morning? Oh. I don't know. Oh, is that right? So you have no alibi. Because I went to the crime scene and your clit prints't know. Oh, is that right? So you have no alibi. Because I went to the crime scene and your clit prints are everywhere. Oh, my God. You caught me.

There we go. I ended on a high. You caught me clit hand. Oh, no, red clitted. Oh, God. That's it. Ended on that. We're going.

Leave us a five-star review, please. I'm so sorry about that. The GoFundMe for Katie and the family's on Endurance Idiots, and we will see you all next week. We love you. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today. That's all. So we do.

Wow, that was smooth. Let's go. Bye-bye. See you. Bye-bye. Oh, don't forget Monday, our bonus episode. Yes, with the Illuminator Queen of RuPaul's Drag Race. Down under.

We don't know who it is yet, but it'll be juicy. Drag Race Debrief every Monday afternoon. We'll catch you then. See you guys. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Bye.