Is It Just Me? - #119: Scone Chat

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

We're feeling a bit rough this week, but we still rocked up to have a bit of fun!In this episode:Ya’ll slept on this spice (04:18)Texting etiquette (07:04)How good’s a tongue scrape (11:39)~Sense of Day~ (19:04)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (34:40)Get yourself a Season 4 mug: SHOP HEREHit us up @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Would you like to try a vape? Why would you take up something that is going to be addictive and expensive? I think for people. I'll tell you why. Yeah. Because you're young and stupid. Some things make more sense than others.

You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy, and I just don't know how you figure that's going to happen when you're ordering a chocolate mousse. No. You know, I had it in the car on the way home, and I didn't have a spoon. So I was like an armadillo trying to get ants out of a hole. Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood.

Being fingered is an awful sensation. You haven't been fingered by the right person? Goodness me. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of bitches. Hi, it's Jenna. Please don't forget to include my name in the opener this season. I'm sorry.

Ta-da! Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, Mitchell Coombs. G'day, g'day. We are soldiering on, even though we're crook as dogs over here. This is my final days. I feel like I've got the scarlet fever, Mitchell. Yeah, I reckon that you and I caught the exact

same thing when we recorded last week because we both got sick at the same time, the exact same illness, you know, the horsey throat as they like to call it. But it's I think my voice is back to a point where I can use it for the podcast today. I don't know if you can hear it, but I've got my diffuser going right here so I can keep the air.

I thought you had a lit cigar. I didn't know what was going on. No that probably wouldn't help the sinuses. Look at that what scent is it? Easy breathe. Easy breathe? Jesus that sounds like your old grinder handle. Oh please no not breed. Oh you said easy breed. I've never actually had a grinder handle to be honest. No true the only time you ever used grinder was when you and I went on to send voice messages to random people and we'd just send cough sounds. Remember that? We'd just go on and cough at them.

That's a real cough. I sent like a dirty message the other day on my friend's Grindr account and the person recognised me, which was pretty mortifying. What, from your text or it was a voice message? It was a voice message. Do you want me to show you what I sent?

Yeah, show me. That's actually, that's very cool. Well, yeah, but it's pretty embarrassing given what I said on my friend's behalf. Ready? This is what I said. Hi-ho. Hi-ho. It's in my boss's yule blow.

And he replies, you sound like that guy who used to be on social media. I was like, used to be? And then he says, and you grew up in a small town and does a talk show. And I'm like, fuck, yep, that's me. He had like 30% of the information and he was very confident with, he just filled in the blanks, didn't he? Yep. It's just so hard.

You wouldn't understand what it's like being this recognisable. Let me tell you, someone in the street the other day said to me, you're the next Kyle Sanderlands. And I said, thank you so much. They didn't know my name, but they said that to me and I said, I'll take it and run. I don't want to be the next Kyle Sanderlands, but thank you very much. I wonder how you'd go surviving cancel culture. Oh my God, don't. I would have been cancelled a hundred times over if you didn't edit all my horrific things out of this podcast. That is true. I do have your back in that way.

You do safeguard me. I'm from home and I have to say my Uber Eats just arrived. So can you Mitchell just tell everyone what's coming up? I'm just going to get my panini. It's just at the front door. Sorry. I'll be one sec. I don't know why I've chosen today of all days and we're both sick to kind of test drive a new segment. It could be rubbish. It absolutely could be. So we'll see. It's called Sense of Day. That's all you need to know for now. Obviously we'll have an Is It Just You from a listener. They'll have an Is It Just Me of their own and win a prize for it. But we'll start the show the same way we do every week with an Is It Just

Me Eat, something we've noticed, something we hate or something we appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's. So would you like to kick things off with your Is It Just Me as you sit back down to the microphone? Oh, that was perfectly timed. Sorry, my panini just arrived. Yeah, should I start? Actually, give us a tease for your Is It Just Me? My Is It Just Me has something to do with a condiment on the food that was just delivered here into my house, something that I've been mulling over for months

and there is an unjust opinion towards one condiment that I need to get off my chest. Oh, I mean, that doesn't sound super interesting. That's not going to like hook people in and keep them listening. So maybe you should just go first. That's not a strong hook. I think you'll find that the Spicenites, the people that really are into spices and collect spices,

will love this. I'll go first. All right? All right. Is it just me or? Does pepper deserve better? Um, sure. Pepper, the spice.

I think pepper gets its due recognition. No, pepper is the scum of the earth in the spice world. It is the cheapest spice. It is the go-to everyday household spice. But I think it is by far the most complex, the most delicious, the most versatile, flavouring delicious, the most versatile flavoring you can add on anything. I adore cracked black pepper and I think it deserves better.

It should be more expensive and it should be a luxury gourmet food item, not a household rat pack. Why should it be more expensive? I'm sure you could get expensive pepper if you try, but no, I'm with you. I like sometimes when I make scrambled eggs in the morning and I forget to add pepper, I really notice a difference on the days that i remember to put pepper on i'm like oh it's missing pepper yes like if someone doesn't put time flakes in their spag bowl you won't fucking notice but if there's no pepper in that spag bowl or if there's no pepper on your eggs or

another another situation where pepper is vital ham and cheese toasted sandwich. You need to have pepper on the tomato or you don't even taste the tomato. What's the point? Whereas salt, I don't think is that important to some things. Like every single meal kit I make from Dinnily or HelloFresh, whatever, every single step in the meal is always seasoned with salt and pepper. And sometimes I think, do I really need to? I could skip this step. But, yeah, no, the pepper makes a difference.

The salt, not so much. You can give or take. Pepper is, and you know what? Here's the thing about pepper. You crack it. Oh, and the flavor, you can smell the flavor. It's a bit spicy, which is a bit fancy. You can like sort of grill it in a pan before you put meat in and it's floral and you get

like herby notes. It is so versatile. And I just think, poor fucking pepper. Like it deserves more of a rap. Do you know what I thought you were going to say for your itch when you said a condiment? I thought you meant like utensils, not condiments. I thought you were about to come to the defense of fucking wooden cutlery.

Oh, don't get me started on wooden cutlery. It makes me want to jump. I hate any, the feeling of any wood. Sorry, Hayden. Any wood in my mouth rubbing up against my teeth makes me want to gag. Oh, I can't do it. It's so off. Even like paddle pop sticks are no good.

Oh, I would leave like a good centimetre of paddle pop ice cream around the stick because I didn't want to even think about it now. Oh, yes, me too. It makes the nerve in my tooth twitch. It's just happening more and more and more, isn't it? Is it just me or are tongs underappreciated? Imagine if I brought that to the table. Tongs?

Yeah, tongs. How good are tongs, though? Oh, I use tongs for everything. I grilled eggplant with tongs this morning. I love tongs. Anyway, Pepper, hit us up on a couple of Mitch's socials. Which herb and spice do you think is underrated? Oh, my God.

Okay, sure. Rosemary. Whatever. You can check those messages. Is it time for my Is It Just Me? Yeah, let's go. Is it just me? Yeah, let's go. Is it just me? Is there no such thing as sending a text too early or too late in this day and age?

Oh, what do you mean? Elaborate, because I think I have thoughts. Well, because for some reason I was tossing and turning and I woke up super early this morning. It was like 5.30am. Yeah. And I couldn't get back to sleep and so I was like, right, I'll just go on my phone. And I replied to a text message that my friend had sent me the night before.

Yeah, fair. And then they replied pretty instantly and said, oh, my God, why are you up this early? Your text woke me up. And I was like, sorry, that's on you. What kind of monster just goes to sleep with their phone not on silent? Yeah, do not disturb. They're silent.

Turn the damn thing off for god's sake no no and they also don't have to read it as soon as it comes through yeah i know like who hears a text messages and just leaps for their phone first thing in this day and age it's hard to get a hold of people at the fucking best of times yeah i don't even think my phone has been off vibrate for nine years especially working in radio and podcasting like you never want a phone to go off my phone is permanently on vibrate half the time mine is on do not disturb because i find like i just find getting notifications all the time a little bit overwhelming like i've got the most annoying notifications that come through for just random apps like this freaking running app that i used ages ago and it's like time to dust off

those running shoes i'm like fuck off i get all these random notifications yeah i get pinterest it goes mitchell cheery 10 pin boards that'll get you in the mood. I go, what do you mean 10? What's a pin board? Also, why are you calling my first and last name Pinterest? Yeah, no, I get that shit all the time. I also have this app that I thought would be helpful, but it's so annoying because it's just one more notification to read.

This motivation app, it sends you like- I've got the same thing. Do you have that? The motivational quote app? Is it the same one? I'm going to get it up. I get one every- Actually, I think I set it to three times a day. I get one every six hours.

God, I can't even remember what I set it to, but yeah, they do let you set that up at the start. Your future depends on what you do today. Mohammed Gandhi. Oh, what's your quote? He's not wrong. Is that motivation? The black app with the little, um, yes, little quotation marks. Mine is today is my today's mantra. And when no one comes to rescue you, you'll find that you've always been strong enough to rescue yourself. Oh, that's lovely. Anonymous. Okay. Here's another one. You don't need too many people to be happy.

Just a few real ones who appreciate you for who you are. Wiz Khalifa. What about this? Don't promise when you're happy. Don't reply when you're angry. And don't decide when you're sad. That's from Tupac. Why are they quoting all these rappers? What was the first part of that? Don't promise when you're happy.

Oh, why not? What does that mean? I guess because maybe like you're on cloud nine. You're sort of clouded by happiness. Oh, and then you commit to something. And then later on you go, oh, fuck, I don't want to do that. I'm not one of those people that believes this stuff. I don't think there's ever been a point in my life where a quote could pull me out of a deep, dark depression.

I truly don't. I think I need way more than some words from Tupac. I think inspirational quotes won't pull you out of a deep, dark depression, but it is good to have a bit of control over what's going on in your head. Because if you've got all this negative self-talk going on and nothing stopping that or distracting you from that, then you end up just being led by that, I suppose. Mitchell Coombs, that in itself is a quote. What you just said, put that in the app. That was sensational. But anyway, my point is I get so many notifications a day. And when I do get around to replying to text messages, it could be any time of day or night. And I also don't feel the need to acknowledge what time it is. Like if I

send a text super late, I won't be like, sorry, it's late. I just assume that they're not going to read it. They're on do not disturb. They'll read it tomorrow. I don't wrap up conversations of a nighttime. I don't say, all right, good night. I'll talk to you tomorrow. It's just like texting is fluid now. You just send a message whenever texting has developed and you know what i know i know that for a fact because my parents have now stopped signing off with mum or dad or ex i know it's coming from you guys it's it's called a contact yeah it says who it's from you don't need to sign sign it off i am still sending things with exes and i think that's going to be the next thing to phase out like you don't you know that i want to kiss you you know that I'm sending it with love.

You don't need me to tell you every time I text you. I only send an X on the end of a message, ironically. Yeah, I know. And sometimes I can't read it with you. I don't understand it. Like if I said to you today, oh, you're running late for the podcast, just for something different, X. Yeah, I know.

Like that's me being a prick. I can't read it though. I had my mum message me and go, hi, I'm going to be late for dinner X. I'm like, is she being real or is she out the front already? I don't know. You've ruined my brain, Mitchell. It's ruined the X for me. We've fucked the X.

You've fucked my X. You're listening to Is It Just Me? Got something on your mind? Hit up at coupleofmitches on Instagram to get yourself on the show. You've also probably noticed today that Pricekeeper Jenna is not here. She's actually, it was her decision not to show up, right, Mitch? Yep, she said that she was sick and I thought, so are we, darling. We're soldiering on, but that's okay.

She's still on duty. If you get on the show for an Is It Just You, she will still give you a prize I thought, so are we, darling. We're soldiering on, but that's okay. She's still on duty. If you get on the show for an Is It Just You, she will still give you a prize. So make sure you hit her up. Who have we got on the line today? We have Charles. He's on the line. Hello, Charles. Welcome to the show.

Charles Dogger. Hello. Oh, very cheap. God, that makes me realise how sick I am. Normally I'm the one yelling and screaming, but Charles, you're doing- Other people having energy. Yeah, the heavy lifting. How are you? You're at work, I know, right? Yes, I'm at work but Charles, you're doing- Other people having energy. Yeah, the heavy lifting. How are you?

You're at work, I know, right? Yes, I'm at work. What do you do, darling? Well, I'm at uni, but I work in a garden centre. A garden centre? Like a flower power? Yeah, like a flower power, but more, think more IGA, an IGA version of flower power. Who the fuck has gardens, Charles?

Let's be real. Wealthy white women. It's Charlie, Mitch. Mitch, it's Charlie. What did I say? Charles. Charles. I'm sick, Charlie. Give me a break. Oh, you fool. Alright, let's go. Okay, sorry. Bradley County. No, I want to ask this. Do you have any other clientele in this

garden centre that you claim exists other than Ida Buttrose and other white wealthy women? It's literally Ida Buttrose and other white wealthy women. It's literally Ida Buttrose's, that's it. You literally hit the nail on the head. You know, people in our world don't garden. You know, we live in apartments and shit, but obviously there's enough people that garden

to warrant Chuck having a job, yeah. Sometimes they'll be the occasional teenager. I'm like, what are you doing here? You don't belong. You're not like 70. Good point, Chang. And I'm like, what are you doing here? You don't belong. You're not 70. Good point, Chang. All right, let's go. And I'm from the Northern Beaches too, so it's all the rich women.

Oh, where about in the beaches are you, darling? I'm near DY, like Cromer. Oh, my God. You probably have no clue where that is. You're near the Teacher's Pet podcast area. Oh, the Teacher's Pet, yes. Oh, my God, yes. Don't act like you're not complicit in the killing of Lynn Dawson.

I'm so into that podcast at the moment. Chris Dawson was just charged this week. I know, and you know, where it happened, Chroma High, I live like two streets down. You're joking. Where it happened. I know. That's chilling. Yeah. I mean, he's not there anymore, but it's pretty bloody creepy, yeah.

That's chilling, Mitch says as he vapes. Alright, let's go. I'm not vaping, that's my diffuser. Okay. I'm still not convinced. It looks like you're vaping, yeah. That's chilling, Mitch says as he vapes. All right, let's go. I'm not vaping. That's my diffuser. Okay. I'm still not convinced. It looks like you're vaping, Mitch. Mitch, I thought you were trying to quit the vapes.

Yeah, I'm not vaping right now. Brad's going to take you in and hit us with the Is It Just You. Yeah. Is it just me or? Can you not live without your tongue scraper? Wait, they exist? Thank you, pardon? Yeah.

You're absolutely joking. Every single morning and every single night. What's a tongue scraper? I don't know what that is. I do it religiously. Pretty self-explanatory, Mitch. It's like this little bit of metal with two holders, and you scrape it and it gets all the gunk off your tongue.

Oh, my God, life-changing. Fuck off, because I have to use other contraptions to get rid of the gunk on the tongue. It bothers me a lot. I just use, like, teeth floss or other random things. I use floss, too. I need to get one. Oh, my God, it'll change your life.

Wait, tell me, Charlie, so do you do it after you brush, or is it a before-brush thing? No, so I'll brush the teeth first, and then I'll brush my tongue a little bit, and then I'll scrape it. It's beautiful. Oh, my gosh. So satisfying. If you do the teeth brushing, bit of flossing, a tongue scrape, and then a bit of mouthwash to top it off, oh, my God, you'll feel fresh. Oh, it's beautiful.

Wait, chemistry warehouse. And then it hurts to drink water after. Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah. So minty. Yeah, I know. You know when you're like, I use those little Pixters. Mitch, I feel like we discussed this a couple of weeks ago.

We did. They're like little mini, they're like baby pipe cleaners and you put them between your teeth. And sometimes when my teeth like, oh my God, they like bleed a little. I know bleeding's not good, but when there's a bit of blood, I go, yeah, I've got to do it more often, and then eventually after a week or so, it stops bleeding. And I did that, and I no longer have any gum bleeding. So, yeah. Really? Keep shoving that Christmas tree up there. We've all got good teeth. I don't know about you, Charlie,

but I'm assuming you've got good chompers if you're a tongue scraper. No, I actually, I was blessed. I was born with perfect teeth. Never had braces, and they're straighter than me, which I'm very gay. Tickets on yourself, huh? Yeah. I'm literally ordering a tongue scraper right now. Mitchell, the one that I just found is rose gold.

It's very you. Yeah, I'm looking on Amazon and I'm like, shit, where have these been all my life? Do you want me to send you? I already sent you a message about how sad I was about you leaving Trash Alley, so I'm probably in your DMs already. Yeah. But I can send you a photo of the one that I got. No, I don't really want to see a used one, but thanks anyway.

That's a bit gross, Charlie. No, not a used one. The one I bought. Yeah, send it through, darling. Charlie, would you buy Is It Just Me branded tongue cleaners if we mark them? Oh, my God, yes. Yeah. Okay.

Oh, yeah, mate. Of course. You know, if you ever wanted one of the Mitch's to suck the gunk off your tongue, now's your chance. I don't know. There's something in it. There's something in that. All right. Thank you, Charlie, for coming one of the Mitches to suck the gunk off your tongue, now's your chance. I don't know. There's something in it. There's something in that. All right.

Thank you, Charlie, for coming on the show. Enjoy your shift at Flower Power. All good. Don't forget to hit up Jenna for your prize, Chuck. Yeah. Hit up Jenna for your prize and we'll give you something fun. Jenna. Okay.

Thanks for coming on. All right. Sorry, Tunnel. He's gone. Got rid of him. Did you notice that he would only speak to me if you repeated what I said? Really? Yeah.

Well, he was clearly a You fan. He'd come from Trash Alley. I wasn't sure if he could hear me properly. Anyway, that's fine. No, he could hear you. You know what? I will admit this, Mitch. I had one message this week saying hi. And, you know, it takes a big man to admit he's been wrong.

Someone said, hi, I found you from Coombs being on Trash Alley. And then he left. And then I've come to IJM. And I love you. And I love the show. And I'm glad I found you. Oh, that's nice. All the things that I've said and you having multiple podcasts and which is your favourite and the fake rivalry that I've created in my head is all wrong. No, there's no rivalry whatsoever. How are you feeling after your Trash Alley retirement? You feeling good? Well, it's a bit shit that I'm sick. And my first week of having more time on my hands,

I've basically just spent in bed watching Real Housewives of Melbourne. Oh, what a trashy show that is. But I can't stop. I haven't tried because I know I'll get hooked. I've seen Sydney, but I've never done Melbourne. But I might do it next. I've only watched one episode of Sydney. I love that it got cancelled because they were too gross and too feral,

which totally checks out after watching one episode. But I've only just started watching Real Housewives of Melbourne. I started from season four. Oh, God, it's just so petty and mind-numbing, but I can't stop. Yeah, no, I get hooked. I'm on Beverly Hills and I'm about to do Salt Lake City. I love the Real Housewives. I think Jenna would be a fantastic addition to the Real Housewives franchise,

don't you think? No. She's just so anti them. No, I think she'd be amazing fantastic addition to the Real Housewives franchise, don't you think? No. Because she's just so anti them. No, I mean, she'd be amazing. They wouldn't know how to handle that. No, she wouldn't have what it takes to – actually, she'd be good at bitching about them behind their back, but she wouldn't have what it takes to, you know,

do the confronting each other, all that fighting and cattiness that goes on. She'd enable them all to. You look gorgeous. Sorry, my cat's knocking on the door. Can I just duck off for a sec? Yeah, you go get that. I'll do the plug. Guys, if you want to get-

I'm a busy working mum. Yeah, go, go. If you want to get on the show, hit us up. Couple of Mitch's on Instagram. Send us a DM and we'll get you on the show and you can win yourself a prize. Mitch is dealing with his cat. I'm going to have a bite of my panini because it's been sitting here since we started the show. So I wanted to try something a little bit different today.

It's a new segment that I'm calling Sense of Day. You hear that term thrown around a lot in our industry, don't you? S-O-D, Sense of Day, yeah. Explain what it is for people who don't know. Oh, well, in the context of radio, they'd be like, oh, okay, what's the sense of day? What are people talking about? You know, what's the headline news or whatever? Yeah.

You know, it's Father's Day coming up. We need to seize because that's the sense of day, whatever. And so one of the sources that we used to use a lot for that was daysoftheyear.com. And I often go in there just to like hate visit because it's sometimes interesting, but it's also fucking ridiculous. Like there is a day for everything. What's daysoftheyear.com?

You go have a look yourself right now and just like have a little browse. But it's basically like every single ridiculous international holiday you can think of. International whipped cream appreciation day or like international high five your neighbour day. There's just a day for fucking everything. And you can go on the calendar and find out what the day is. Today, this is apt for me, National Chicken Boy Day. Really? Yeah. There's a man dressed as a rooster, which is how I got my start in the entertainment biz. I dressed up as a rooster for Kyle and Jackie O. This is so bizarre. Okay. Well, just you wait, because I was kind of,

like I said, I hate visit this website. I kind of mock it because it's ridiculous, but I jumped forward to Monday the 5th of September, which is the day that this episode drops. I jumped forward to Monday the 5th of September, which is the day that this episode drops. Smart. And, oh, my God, I feel like Monday the 5th is your day. Not only that, but September is your month altogether. It was all so apt for you, okay? So, Monday the 5th of September is International Be Late for Something Day.

Oh, yeah. You've been celebrating all year round. Yeah, I was going to say that's a 365-day celebration for me. Yeah, I like that. Yes, exactly. And so people can celebrate International Be Late for Something Day by taking some time for yourself and allowing yourself to be late for something, but you have to make sure

that it's not something detrimental. If you see a small shop on your way to your destination that catches your fancy, pop in and see what they have and make no apology for it. That's the vibe. So it's like go slow day. Yes. Smell the roses. Yes.

It sounds like a bit of a mental health day. But also what made me think of you is the fact that it's cheese pizza day. When? Tell me. On Monday. Get out. Just cheese pizza? Monday the 5th. Yeah. When? Tell me. On Monday. Get out. Just cheese pizza? Yeah.

Oh, I'll have to celebrate. I'll have to. You better. But also, while I do appreciate pizza with all the bells and whistles, a good cheese pizza really does hit the clip sometimes. Oh, I completely agree. I mean, just like it makes me scratch my clip, to be honest, when I think about the best national cheese pizza.

But this is where it gets weird. The month of September is also Chiari Malformation Awareness Month. It is. I did know that. Yes. Well, there you go. Go on. Make us aware.

All right. Oh, my God. Look at you. Chiari Malformation is the brain condition that I suffer from that gives me severe migraines, severe memory loss, brain fog, many other things. Chiari malformation affects very few people. It's where the cerebellum, which is the base of the brain, here I'm pointing it.

Don't fall asleep, Mitchell. I'm not. At the back of the brain falls into the spinal canal. Essentially, my brain is being crushed by my spinal cord, and I have to get brain surgery at some point in my life to rectify it. But at the moment I'm pushing through. And yeah, the month of September, because I get DMs from the Chiari Facebook group that I'm in.

They go, hi Mitch, we'd love if you could bring awareness to Chiari on your radio show. Oh God, they want you to be the poster boy. Oh my God, chiari.com.au wants me to be the face of the brain. I said, I'm not going to do it guys. Sorry. No, I'm not. I don't want to be the face of the brain. I said I'm not going to do it, guys. Sorry. No, I'm not into it.

Why not? I don't want to be the face of a brain illness where the brain is being crushed by the spinal cord. There's nothing glamorous about that. There's also nothing shameful about that. No, I know, but I just don't think I want to be the face of it. Maybe one day down the track when I've got the mental capacity to go out there and campaign. You know what I actually have thought? You know when they do like those reality shows where they get you know public figures on and they all represent a charity

my charity would be kiari malformation and that's when i would support them but not now that makes sense there could be coin in it for you though because an ambassadorship is not an unpaid role you're kidding me really i never cared where do i sign i didn't think i was making money i thought i had to do appearances and you know hug all the children with kiari and i didn't think I was making money. I thought I had to do appearances and, you know, hug all the children with Chiari. And I didn't realise you got paid. Yeah. And then you'd invoice them your appearance fee afterwards. Duh.

Get out. Oh, then I'm sold. I'm done. See, God, I'm a good friend. And also it happens to be Friendship Month. Oh, perfect for us in September. What a big month. And it's also Happy Cat Month.

What a shame I've got a bitch on my hands. Oh, on my birthday on the 30th, it is International Ask a Stupid Question Day. It's also Save the Koala Day and National Extra Virgin Olive Oil Day on my birthday. So, you know, what the fuck does that mean, Extra Virgin Olive Oil Day? It says, you know, treat yourself and go to an olive oil tasting. Try a few kinds or go out of your comfort zone and get a deeper, darker, extra virgin olive oil. What does that even mean? Well, that's the other thing I mentioned before when we were talking about pepper.

That's the other thing that I just have to add in fucking droves to every recipe. All the steps are like with a tablespoon of olive oil and then season with salt and pepper. I've got enough olive oil in my life. I think I've got too much, if anything. I go through so much olive oil. And I don't know what it is, but it might be discrimination, but I would not touch vegetable oil with a 10-foot pole. That shit's disgusting.

It doesn't really have a taste. Yeah, I know, but the fact that it's vegetable oil, I like the olive oil tang, you know. And I, for one, will be celebrating on September 30th. National Carousel Day. What the fuck? Hot Fudge Sunday Day. Thread the Needle Day.

This is all my birthday. Wine and Cheese Day. Okay. Picnic Month. Picnic Month? Why does picnics get a whole month? Bank Account Bonus Month. Oh, please, I wish.

Oh, Mitchell. Oh, it's National Horseradish Month. Oh, yuck. They are putrid. I actually have horseradish on this sandwich. True story. Yuck. Why? I love it. I Horseradish Month. Oh, yuck. They are putrid. I actually have horseradish on this sandwich. True story. Yuck. Why?

I love it. I love horseradish. I'm Dutch. You know, I'm a Dutch blood. I had horseradish in a smoothie once. I've never forgotten it. It was horrible. In a smoothie?

Mitchell, it's savoury. You don't put it in smoothies. I know. I was doing like a smoothie challenge, different recipe every day, and I'd done them all in order, and I got to that one. I'm like, well, I can't skip one. I'm doing a challenge, and I fucking, oh, it was rancid. It's hot.

It's like mustard. Yeah, it was. I'm aware. Anyway, oh, I forgot. We should have been celebrating. It's National Cell Phone Courtesy Month. What does that mean? We all know the situation,

being subjected to someone else's conversation while in a public space. Speaking on a cell phone makes some of us forget our manners. Celebrate National Cell Phone Courtesy Day by following these tips. No, I would never do that. I hate that. I don't know why. I've always had this weird thing where I just hate being eavesdropped on, like when I'm making a phone call.

Even sometimes I'll leave the apartment if Jordan's home because I'm like, even though I know he's not actively eavesdropping and he's got his own fucking business to deal with, I'm just like, I'll go for a walk and make this phone call. I don't know why. It's always been a weird thing of mine. That's so funny. I'm not complete opposite. I couldn't care less. I try to get like a hundred things done at once. So I've got my phone wedged under my ear, like against my shoulder and I'm talking in the middle of the grocery store.

I fucking hate people like you. Those people in a really quiet office that just go, hello. I'm good, buddy. How are you? Oh yeah yeah that's me that is me that's you i can't believe all these all these days to be honest but do you know what i mean when i say that it just feels like september is your month all of those things were so perfect for you yeah it really does doesn't it we should look at your horoscope actually for the month ahead okay can you get it up because i'm saying now at the start of a new month and the start of a new season, oh, this is going to be your month. I could be fucking way off.

Hold on. So you're going to read my horoscope? Yeah. Hold on. Yeah. I'm just going to get you some horoscope music. All right then. Apparently it's time for you to rest.

You might be feeling more shy than usual and craving a private getaway with a lover. Oh, you know what? I most definitely am. As I said that, you were yawning. So there you go. Maybe you do need a private getaway. I am exhausted. I got a sandwich facing me that I can't even eat.

And I need some time. I'm actually, and I'm sick at the moment. That is perfect. Have a bite of your sandwich and I'll finish reading this. Okay, go. Libras are famously stylish, but you might not be in the mood to show off or be flashy at this time. Mercury retrograde begins. What? No. What do you mean? It's back. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. This is going to be a horrible month. No,

I was wrong. I was wrong. Mercury retrograde begins on September 9. This may find you rethinking the decisions and discussions you've seen. Mercury retrograde ends on October 2. Oh, that's so long. It's a long three weeks. You know how I feel about Mercury retrograde. It fucks me up every time. During this time, things move more slowly than usual. Mercury retrograde is famous for delays and misunderstandings,

impacting technology, schedules, and day-to-day emotions. Fuck me. Wait, no, but this was only my, this is my personal Mercury. You're not experiencing this, right? It's just for Libras. No, that'll, that'll impact everyone. It was just giving you a heads up. I think that was more of a generic bit. Right. Oh my God. That's devastating news. And during Chiari Awareness Month. How rude.

How discombobulating. All right, I'm going to check mine actually. Where's mine? Check yours. Leo Monthly. Where's the music? Okay, here we go. Music's on. Back to reality, Leo.

September is one of your most practical and productive months. Oh, good. Avoid signing contracts if you can. And triple check the fine print while you're at it your love life will see you torn between keeping things loose or making it official wow um wow that's apt no comment keep drama to a minimum by being authentic about where you're at instead of trying to be cool when something is actually bothering you or by going along

to get along that's you you anyway, to be honest. That's never been a problem for me. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Interesting. Is it official yet? Stop it.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Anyway, moving on. Moving on. If you want your horoscopes read on the show, give us a buzz. No, we are not doing that. Imagine if we just became a podcast where we exclusively read people's horoscopes we don't

even know just listeners no we are not becoming that person i'm not the psychic mitchell coombs is it just me the rude shocks of young adulthood anyway i think we're done with this that sucked i didn't like that segment we won't be bringing back Sense of Day, but what can you do? I'm sick. I'm trying my hardest. I don't think Sense of Day needs to come back every week. No, God. Perhaps it can be a 12-monthly thing.

Yeah, right. Speaking of which, before we get out of here, isn't it almost time for our annual moderator games? Yes. Oh, my God. Yeah, true. It's almost the end of the year. Yeah, I think it is.

What's going to happen? Because I remember I was working from home when we did Moderator Games last time during lockdown, and I came back to the studio for your birthday. So it'd have to be close. Which is the end of the month. All right. Do you think we should officially, as of this week, open up applications for the Moderator Games? I don't know.

You ran this last time. Do we have to sack our current moderators? Let's sound the horn. Hold on. There we go. The official moderator games are back. Game on, moles. Game on, bitches.

So the moderator games, if you're new here, because we've got a whole bunch of new listeners since we did this a year ago. Our Facebook group, Endurant Idiots, if you're not part of it, I mean, you're only getting half the show, really, if you're not on Endurant Idiots. We need moderators because Mitch and I are very, very wealthy and busy. So we can't moderate our own Facebook group. So we have moderators.

There's so much filth in there. It actually is disgusting. Some of the shit that gets posted in there. I love you all, but, you know, clean your act up, please. Our moderators essentially moderate the group. It's a completely unpaid role, but there is a prize in it for you. And yet people compete for that group. It's a completely unpaid role, but there is a prize in it for you. And yet people compete for that role. It's really weird.

We put them through rigorous tasks. They had to book guests for the show and do all this stuff for us in order to earn an unpaid job. It was very bizarre, but it worked. And so what do we have to do? Are we going to pit other people up against our current moderators? Here's the thing, Mitch. I actually think the more the merrier. I think if you become a moderator, it's like the US Supreme Court. You have a job for life if you're

inducted into the Hall of Fame. I don't think there's a bad thing having more moderators than less. It's just more eyeballs to watch out for the terrible posts. Well, then what's the point of doing it then if there's no competition element? Oh, no, there's competition. We only take in two a year. We only take in two people a year to the moderator role because then the moderators can go get lunch every year and they can work out a roster. Of course, they will really push home. It's not a paid role, but they can work out times and hours and, you know.

No, I think it should be like a school captain, you know. You can't just keep the captains. You've done your year. Now, fuck off. Okay. Can current moderators apply again or do they have to wait one year to call off? Oh no, they can apply, but they have to try really fucking hard in the games to win. Okay, I agree. Alright, officially, if you are a moderator, your time is nigh. We are officially opening applications for the moderator games. It is a quiz, I will say. It's

a pop quiz. It's on an episode. You come on the show live and it is the best. It's the person who gets the most answers in the quiz and we take two moderators out of it. Yeah, I think there was two rounds last time. It was like we narrowed down to the top two with the quiz and then the next thing was a task. They had to book a guest. Yes, remember we had that weird heavy metal person?

That was terrifying. But I think she got the job. Yes, and Art Simone. Art Simone from Drag Race, Down Under. Yeah, that was Callum. He did very well. All right. If you want to apply to be our moderator, slide into the DMs at couple of Mitch's, let

us know, and we will get the ball rolling. If one of you moderators manages to book Dido, you've got the fucking job for life. Amen, sister. You can have Mitch Cherry's job. If they get Dido, yeah, I'll retire. Yeah. Messages. We'll get you in for, yeah, I'll retire. Messages. We'll get you in for the moderator games coming very soon.

Game on. Oh. Don't forget we've also got our Season 4 mugs for sale, so make sure you head to our Instagram bio if you want to add one of those bad boys to your collection. They're so gorgeous, those mugs, aren't they? I do quite like them. They're my favourite so far.

Yeah, someone sent me a message and they said, can I put it in the dishwasher? And we said this last time, Mitchell invested hundreds of dollars in this pen that is like liquid paint, and whatever you draw on will last forever, like hieroglyphics in Egypt. I felt like I was doing my own little backyard science over here. I was fucking signing mugs with different texters,

putting them in the wash to test which one was best, and I've narrowed it down, the best texter. So even a signed one, it won't come off. It won't come off. You can dishwash it, baby. So go buy one. Link in bio, of course. A couple of pictures on Instagram.

Otherwise, thank you for listening. Leave us a five-star review. We'd appreciate that. Write one if you haven't written one yet, if you love the show. And we will see you next week, everybody. Right. We'll catch you then. Or you can catch us for Drag Race Debrief on Monday afternoon for RuPaul's Drag Race

Down Under. Yeah, we're getting near the finale too, Ellie. A couple more weeks left of that. I know, we've only got a few weeks left. I know, can't wait. All right, guys, we'll see you next week. Thanks for listening, everyone. Get better soon, Mitchell.

Rest up. Bye, Chuck. See ya. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app welcome to add brief this is our secret segment on the end. We pretend the show's done and then we keep chatting. Oh, I need to sneeze.

Can you tell? Yeah, go sneeze, go sneeze. Mitch, I am, because we're doing this from home. It's gone. I've got my new home set up so I can put different voice things on. So because Jenna's not here, we might need a female perspective. And because I sound so rustic. Yeah, we might need this.

It's a voice changer, so I sound like Jenna whenever I speak. No, you sound like me normally. This is a bit Mitchell Coombs, isn't it? Hi, everyone. Be a bit more bogan about it. Oh, fucking hell. My cousin. Say oi, nah.

Oi, nah. Okay, no, I'm not that bad. You dog can't. No, what if I deepen my voice? I could be an anonymous caller. Is it just me or do you think Chappelle Colby is innocent? Oh, that is creepy. I reckon if you spoke normally, I'd be able to, like, that doesn't disguise your voice much, I'll make it anonymous.

I'd still recognise you, I reckon. Really? You think this is, you know that it's me? Mitch? Yeah, talk normally like you're, like, forward announcing the podcast. Okay. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the show.

Coming up today, is it just you? So we do this every week. You can hit us up. Actually, no, that doesn't sound like you. You're right. Really? Turn it off. It's annoying's annoying Sorry it's officially turned off Isn't that fun

I also have sound effects Look at Mitchell's face It's not going to be one of those ADD briefs is it Where you're just playing sound effects at me Oh don't make it Don't bring the vibe down Yeah no I think that was Quite a shit episode on our part sound effects at me. Oh, don't make it. That'd bring the vibe down. Yeah, no.

I think that was quite a shit episode on our part. It was terrible. But we're sick, so what can you do? You know, at least we're here. We could have just done no episode. Yeah. I mean. I love how me, I'm getting defensive when no one said anything.

I'm like yelling at the listeners. Oh, they're all thinking that. Be fucking grateful. Also, we give you free great quality episodes every week. So we were allowed to have one sick episode, guys. We almost didn't do one. So this is a – we couldn't – yeah, yeah. I was going to say I lost my voice, but then I'm like, no, it's coming back. It's good enough to actually have a conversation now.

It truly is. Like, I mean, the pit. A lot of people have this as well. I got this from Laura Byrne, who I do a radio show with, and she gave it to me. Is that who you got it from? Yeah. You didn't fucking death hole wipe the studio after she was there, did you? Because that's where I got sick.

I got sick after recording with you last week. I don't really know. Or there's just some serious hygiene issues in that studio. Oh, my God. You know, I got sent scones by Farmer Wants a Wife to eat and talk about on my radio show. And Kyle Sanderlund ate them. And they were mine. Did he?

Yeah, and that really upset me because scones are my favourite food. Yeah, how good are scones? They're really easy to make too. I might make some scones. Oh, my God. You want a little scone hack? Lemonade. Scones.

Let me give you some scone hack music. Scones. Only you can you some scone hack music. Scones. Only you can see Mitchell's face, everybody. Spit it out. Oh, wow. This isn't really scones. This is more carbonara. If you are a bit lazy, you can just add lemonade to the scone mix.

I said that before you even played the music. You said, do you want to know a scone hack? And I said, lemonade. Did you really? Yes. I already had the information, darling. How sad. Yeah, my nan taught me that.

You put lemonade. And I remember once we were cooking them and she put lucasade in and she goes, it's basically the same thing. And they tasted awful. It wasn't the same thing. What's lucasade? It's like a fizzy hydrolite drink. It's like a Powerade

with fizz in it. I used to have it when I had sick days. Leucothate. It was so yummy. I've never even heard of that. Are you kidding? Leucothate is the tits.

It's like, it was the original Barocca. Do you reckon I can get a scone on Uber Eats? I'm really craving them now. Fuck, I could make some.

Well, that's not helpful. I'm going to go on Uber Eats and check. I'm typing in scone into Uber Eats. Baker's Delight. Fuck off. Maybe I can.

Can you send me some? You can get your own, bitch. Can we put it on the kiddio? Yes, you can. Because we're recording. Oh, no. What? What's wrong?

The scones are full of shit. I just want a normal scone with jam. It's full of, like, raisins and all that. Fuck you, Baker's Delight. I'm on Baker's Delight in my area, too. Oh, Baker's Delight. That's a little bit of bread with a little sausage in it. That's horrific.

Oh, my God. A berry and white chocolate scone. I'll settle for that. They're really good. They're my nan's's horrific. Oh, my God. A berry and white chocolate scone. I'll settle for that. They're really good. They're my nan's favourites. Oh, you're right. Scones. Why don't they have original scones?

That seems like blasphemy. That's fucking stupid. Oh, no, Mitch. On my one, if you click berry, if you click the four pack, you can choose original. Oh, do I really need four, though? I've got original, choc mud,, berry and white choc or date. I do like a date scone.

I'm going to order them. Holy shit. Are we both ordering four packs of scones to our houses that we live in separately? I give myself permission to comfort eat when I'm a little bit ill. Wait, do you have cream and jam? Because they're not the same without it. Oh, I assume that was one of the options. No, baker's delight aren't going to include the condiments.

Dogs, honestly. Dogs. Maybe I should go all out and get a six pack. Chemist, too. You have scars. No, no. My local one doesn't even have the other options. It just has berry and white chocolate or dates.

What's the point? I'd rather be dead. Also, if you're going to do it, you're going to want to have clotted cream and everything. So I reckon leave it. Also, I have an olive mortadella horseradish and provolone cheese sub here, which is absolutely heavenly. A what, sorry? There's a whole olive on this. Look, can you see that?

It's a whole olive. I actually can't see it because I've minimized you. I'm getting mis-gone. Did you think I was kidding about that? Did you order? Yeah. What did you get? Four?

No, just two. I haven't had lunch or anything, so I'm a growing boy. How much was delivery? I paid for priority. Last week our episode was unhinged. This week we're not putting in any effort. I don't remember our episode being chaotic last week. I always just assume.

No. Oh, do you know what happened last week actually? I'll share this with the idiots. I had to say to Mitch after the episode, I was like, can we try and ensure that we don't record episodes after I've just been to therapy because I just get emotionally drained. And I think that's why I was so short tempered with you last week. You were mad at me.

When I was like, Oh, stop fucking fibbing, lying. Not that I ever find that funny, but I was just particularly testy. Every time I leave therapy, I'm emotionally drained.

You were very upset with me last week. No, I wasn't upset. I was quite nice about it. Actually. I said, by the way, can we not after Patrick? And you were like, Oh, yep, fine. Oh, I mean that. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, we sorted that easily. There you go again. Fucking embellishing. He was very upset last week. I really wasn't. I'm pretty upset now that I got sick from being there, though. I can't fucking believe, oh, I'm ordering the plain scones, but I don't know. Can I come to your house and get some jam? I don't have jam jam I wonder if Hayden's out there and he can check for jam um you know what I've noticed about going to therapy appointments um every time I'm sitting there in the waiting room Patrick comes out of his office and there's a big hallway and he's like Mitchell and I'm like yep I'm next I get up and as I'm walking down the hallway he just makes small talk and goes so how are you and I'm like that's a very fucking loaded question to ask me when I'm on my way to a

therapy appointment and I'm not in the room yet. Imagine if someone just started crying in the fucking hallway because he asked, how are you? I actually told him that and he goes, I think most people, when they say, yeah, good, they come in and sit down and go, now this is how I'm actually feeling. Sorry, you didn't bore me. I just had a big yawn. You haven't said anything back to what I've said.

Yeah, no, nothing to say. Oh, good. That was a real conversation cul-de-sac for me, wasn't it? Sorry about that. Conversation cul-de-sac? Yeah. I'm not killing it in this episode. Yeah, I'm not feeling it either. But that's alright. We've done 118 episodes where we felt it. We can do one where we don't feel it. Do you know what's fabulous? And I'm very smug about this. I've never had a day off. This show?

Yeah. Any of my podcasts. Yeah, you're right. Why are you smug about it? Because, I don't know, I feel like I have a streak to keep up now. Like, I can't possibly have anyone feel in for me because that'll be my first ever sick day from not my cup of tea, schnitty committee, trash alley, is it just me? I've never had a day off or anyone fill in for me.

I think you need to realise that no one else cares about that other than you. You can take a sick day and you can look after yourself. No, I'm here. I'm fine. To be fair, I'm actually glad it's you because if we got a guest host, I would have had to put effort in. Whereas if it's just Mitchell, fuck him. I don't care what he thinks.

Yeah, you've had two days off from this show now. You've had Abbey Chatfield fill in for you and all right, hey. Yeah, well, you know, rightly so, I say. Did I tell you that some people guessed, I put a thing on Instagram saying, who's going to be the new Mitchell on Trash Alley? And a lot of people guessed you. Really? Yeah, so I was like, as if you would do that.

I mean, I probably, I don't have the time to do it, but that's weird. and a lot of people guessed you. Really? Yeah, so I was like, as if you would do that. I mean, I probably, I don't have the time to do it, but that's weird. Why would you leave a podcast? Yeah, I don't even know what to say to that. I don't know. The Mitches are just interchangeable. We're definitely not. We offer very different things. No, I offer looks, smarts, laughs.

What do I offer?, smarts, laughs. What do I offer? Oh, morale. Shut up. Morale. You've always been told you're good for morale. You're not doing much for mine today, just quietly, but that's all right. Yeah, neither are you. My morale's at all-time low as well, but I don't mind.

Oh, why is your morale so low? Because you didn't get any scones? Because I'm sick and I've got a sandwich in front of me that I can't mind. Why is your morale so low? Because you didn't get any scones? Because I'm sick and I've got a sandwich in front of me that I can't eat. Now, the Artesian Bakehouse, which is just around the corner from me, offer one, get this, tell me if you think this is, is it just me on the fly or is this overpriced? $19 for one scone with jam and cream. It'd want to be a pretty fucking hectic scone.

They've got a stock photo of it, which always worries me, because I hate... That's actually another region on the fly. When restaurants have stock images, no thank you. I want real pics of that food. You should bring in that really exy scone and we see if it's worth it. No, the wait time is between one to seventy... One.

One hour to seventy minutes. Oh, fuck my entire life. A mosh is on a bicycle. Oh, shit. It's Rosaline. What? It's Rosaline. I'm interviewing Rosaline in 15 minutes.

Oh, right. Okay. Well, are you just going to do it or are you asking me to leave? No, no, no. We have 15 minutes. Okay. Well, Amosh is on his bike and so he better fucking hurry up because it says he's 15 minutes away too. I need to message you and just go is on his bike, and so he better fucking hurry up, because it says he's 15 minutes away, too. I need to message you and just go, on your bike.

Oh, God. You know what phrase I hate that mums always use? Get your skates on. Oh, yeah. That's a real mum phrase. And what the fuck does get a wriggle on mean? Yeah, true. My dad always uses spunk.

He goes, God, she's spunky. And I go, Dad dad that makes me think of a cum shot i would never have thought of that it's a nice word you spunk yeah you spunk it's so trash um so bad yeah so speaking of get a wriggle on at the therapy appointments the other day he was like what were you like as a kid? And I was like, oh, fuck. Hated life, basically. You know, hated school. Friends were a bit nasty and toxic and whatever.

And he was like, what about like in terms of being disciplined and stuff? And I said, no, dad was always literally dragging me out of bed 15 minutes before I needed to be on the bus because I was always running late, just had no motivation, whatever. And he goes, sounds like you had undiagnosed depression and ADHD even as a child. And I was like, oh, good. Oh, God.

That's just great. That really shifts my perspective of all of my childhood memories. Thanks a lot for that. Just adding trauma to the one part of my life that actually has no trauma. Like undiagnosed ADHD, that goes without saying, but the undiagnosed depression bit, I was like, oh, that's fucking grim to think about, isn't it? Where does that person get off telling you that?

Well, I am paying him for that. So, you know, that makes sense. Yeah. Now we should also say that this episode is coming out on Father's Day. Shit. We didn't do anything for our fathers. Oh, I just, it just didn't click because like, I always think of it as the new episode every Monday. So I think because most people listen on a Monday, but obviously we've got the early bird release on a Sunday night for people on Instagram Live.

Because I always think, yep, Monday is the day it drops. But fuck, it didn't occur to me that Father's Day was happening. How can we reflect in our sense of day? Yeah, that would have been a good sense of day. Hold on. in our sense of day. Yeah, that would have been a good sense of day. Hold on.

We just went through a fucking page about national celebrations on this day and we spoke about Olive Oil Day for 30 minutes, yet the page neglected to tell us that on the day the episode drops is Father's Day. No, again, because I was looking at it on Monday because I was going off the official release date. Oh, well, let me look and see because maybe it's a year. We just drop it early on a Sunday night for anyone who wants to listen. But yeah, Monday is the day that we advertise that the episode's out.

Father's Day doesn't even come up. It's Sepsis Awareness Month. Father's Day must be a big deal in your fucking household because you love a family do. National Chicken Month. What the fuck? Yeah, we love Father's Day. I'm hanging with Daddy. I bet. We do love a holiday. We just love to celebrate, you know,

each other. There's so much love in the Cheery household. You know what was cute? When I met your dad a few weeks ago and he kept referring to your boyfriend as H. He does refer to Hayden as H. It's quite sweet. He's like, yeah, Mitch and H. And I'm like, oh, alright. Are you H them over for dinner? Yeah. I've H enough

of this conversation IH radio listen to this podcast on the IH radio app or wherever you get your podcasts listen to your H content oh H is where the H is no

we're not doing this are we oh we're that delirious i've got an h h h h h h oh no we've got the dumbest sense of h we seriously do we're both going to h you know what i found weird, though? What? That he says H. I'm doing the right thing and saying H, but your dad was actually calling Hayden H. Did he say H or H? He was saying H, and I'm thinking, Mark, I don't want to correct you, but yeah, it was bothering me. He's a sweet man. Don't correct him.

He's giving my partner a nickname. He is a sweet man. No one calls him, no one called Hayden H, and then dad started it. And now even Hayden's mum calls him H whenever she messages me. She's like, oh, are you and H coming over today? And I go, how is it caught on? It's such a boring name. It's quite endearing though. I actually like it when people just use the first letter of the first name.

We've been robbed. Like it's a bit boring. You can't just call us M. No. Imagine if people with the name M actually just spelt it M, like M Rossiano was M Rossiano. Like sometimes you call Jenna J and I find that cute. You call Delta Goodrum D, which is raunchy, but anyway. And so we don't have that with M.

No, we don't. It doesn't. I don't think it sounds good because I think J could be J-A-Y, like a man's name. Like it actually also is a name, like M is E-M. Oh, so that negates my point actually. I just love confidently calling people the's name. Like it actually also is a name. Like M is E-M. Oh, so that negates my point actually. I just love confidently calling people the wrong name. Like when you call a Genevieve and I've started calling Tim my trash alley replacement, I call him Timberley.

That's great. I'm like, I hope that catches on. I love a nickname. I'm all for nicknames. Genevieve. We didn't even have a name that makes up a full thing, a full word. Like you can't do much with Mitch. Michella.

I used to be called Michella. All the girls in high school that I went with that I thought I was in love with would call me Michella. What instrument do you play in the orchestra? Oh, I play a Michello. What's your favourite pasta? The local Italian. Oh, a Michelini. You know, all week there's just been a Mitch that I can't scratch.

Son of a Mitch. Mitch rhymes with a lot. Mitch glitch, ditch, sitch, hitch, witch. Mitching hour. Oh my God. It's the Mitching hour. My pronouns are HH. Shut up. Okay, so Amosh is

H my way with my scone. And my interview with this girl is next. I think this is our worst ever episode. You're probably right. I'm not even going to ask for five star reviews today because I know we don't deserve it. Yeah, but just don't send us a review because I'd rather if you wanted to put a four or a three, don't. Because that is not nice and that doesn't help us at all. So just withhold reviewing for this episode.

With H. With H. Mitch and I both did the show from H today. Oh, my God. What is that? What is that animal over there? Is that a rhinoceros? Oh, no, that's an H.

Got it. Hippopotamus, yeah. It's almost like a mind game. This is good for dementia patients. I might walk into the local nursing home and do this with the oldies. I don't think you can just walk into nursing homes like that, though. They usually ask questions like, what are you doing here? They go, hi, Mitch.

You here for Nan? I go, yeah. And they say Nan, like everyone in that building is a Nan, but they just say it as if the only one there is mine. You here for Nan? All right, I say we wrap things up. Oh, you're really going to not have the scone reveal? Oh, where is he?

Five minutes away. Yeah, yeah, we can do scone reveal. God, yeah. He's on even terrain, so it shouldn't take long. It's not like he's going uphill. Sorry, I'm really hate. Oh, are you eating your sandwich? Yeah, this really is the give up episode because we're both sick and we're just like, whatever.

Oh my God, guess what I just watched this week and I'm so hooked. What? The Staircase. Have you seen it? No. Oh my God, I've just started watching it. It's like a five-year-old documentary. It's about that woman who was found dead at the bottom of her staircase. And she was like horrifically maimed.

And her head had like seven lacerations. There was pools of blood. She was dead at the end of her staircase. Oh, I don't want to watch that. No, and the rumor is, well, the theory is that her husband pushed her. Uh-huh. But he claims he's innocent. He claims he didn't do it.

And it's the mystery of who did it that's so great. Is it a real life story? Yes. Wow. But they've just done a- I've just been too busy watching the real H of Melbourne. That sounds good. What streaming service is that on?

Oh, it's on H. What is it called? H-U. Oh, hang on. Amosh is making good time. He's only two minutes away. Jordan's going to have to go down and get it. How is it going to happen here?

Because how does it get up to your house? Jordan's going to have to go down and get it. How is it going to happen here? Because how does it get up to your house? Jordan's going to have to go down. I'm broadcasting. Oh, he's right at the front. Shit. You know how Uber does that thing where it just like refreshes? Yeah, they spawn in front of your house. Did you even order a scone?

No, I didn't order it. It was too late. Oh my God. This all came about because you were sad that you didn't get a scone and you're still not getting one. I am craving one, but I don't have jam and cream. Yeah. I might just Google scone.

And see if you have the ingredients, but there's still no jam and cream. I don't have jam and I don't have cream. I love jam. I just don't like jam when it gets sticky on the outside of the jar. There's nothing good about that. Oh, beehive patisserie. What are they doing? Beehive patisserie. Katosh they doing? Beehive patisserie.

Katosh? I do like a katosh. B-H. Oh, the buzzer rang. Hang on. I'll be back. Guys, listen in. Mitchell might cut this, but that was the best sandwich I've ever had.

God, I'm a fatty. And this, like, I just could eat anything. Did you get it? Jordan's going to get it. I just had to tell the guy to, you know, leave it out the front. I always say that. I go, just, I just could eat anything. Did you get it? Jordan's going to get it. I just had to tell the guy to, you know, leave it out the front. I always say that.

I go, just put it at the glass doors. Oh my God, I heard the door open. Jordan's back. Is that my scone? But it's just going to be a dry scone, Mitchell.

It's not going to be good. Look. No, because I got the, they look dense. That's nice. I got the... They look dense. That's nice. I got the white chocolate and blueberry one. Oh, but you put butter on that and that'll be heaven.

Should I microwave it too? Yeah, go put it in the microwave. I'll just give it a quick bite while I'm here. Give it a little taster. Oh, look. That's gorgeous. That's fucking gorgeous. Oh, I feel bad rubbing it in now that, once again, everyone has scones except you.

That's all I want. Not a scone chat today. All I want is a scone. That looks heavenly. That's not a fucking scone. What do you mean? What the fuck? What do you mean?

He's so disgruntled. What what that's just like a bread roll a bread roll that you take to the park with the barbecue took for a fucking picnic what do you mean it's a bread roll there's nothing scone about that it's got blueberries in it yeah but the actual you know cake itself the actual carb that's just bread, I swear. Look. I can see it. That is very white. That is not scones. Fucking dogs.

And it's burnt on the bottom. This is bullshit. I'm going to just order some bubble tea. That's all I can order. That is like the furthest from a scone. Like there's nowhere. There's got to be some middle ground. I can get scones, but they don't have jam and cream.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm eating with my mouth full. Yeah, that's fine. Probably time to wrap the episode, don't you think? That might be a good idea. I think so. Thank you for listening, everyone. Truly.

The episode was shit. The scones were shit. Sometimes you've just, in the darkest days, need to support the podcast hosts who need it the most, you know? Oh, my God. Something that happened to me this week. Sorry to add this on before we go. You know that little rat Hasbulla? That, like, little tiny, tiny person who's famous on TikTok?

They're a small person and they're Russian Muslim, I believe. Oh, yes. Yes, Hasbulla. And they're very big in the straight community. Not my kind of humour. I doubt it's your kind of humour. And I think they're 19 years old. No, I'm not really across it. No, it's not funny to me.

No. Like, they are a small person. They're very, very tiny. Probably would come up to my knee. They're 19 and they sound like a baby. Like, they've got a little high-pitched voice. Quite cute. Anyway, they came to ARN to record something with Kyle and Jackie O.

And we get this internal email that goes, I didn't get it because I work nights, but I was told about it. Hi all, Hasbulla, internet sensation from Russia, is coming to record with Kyle and Jackie O. His stipulations are as follows. So please, you know, act accordingly. A, no homosexuals to be near him. Sweet. Day off work. B, no homosexuals to be near him. Sweet.

Day off work. B, no women are to be near him. C, no women that are currently menstruating are to be in the building like the little prick could smell it or something like he's a great white shark. What the fuck? Can you believe that? That's ridiculous. Don't bring that bullshit into this country, you little fucking twig.

I'd kick you off the harbour Bridge if I had the chance. Yeah, I don't understand. If he's so popular, are people laughing at him or with him? That's the thing. I think it's with, to be honest. He's very aggressive. He's like a little boxer. Yeah.

Like, I wanted to, you know what I wanted to do? I wanted to push him over. And all I had, all I would need to do is cough near the kid and he would have fallen face first into the carpet and got carpet burn on his little head. Yeah, you could fully just put him in your pocket. He's quite small. But that's really weird that the company would ask people to comply with such a demand. That's odd.

That doesn't sit right with me. Yeah, I completely agree. Like imagine some poor bitch on a rag being like, right, I guess I've got an extended lunch break. Yeah, if you hear that segment right, Jackie is not in the segment and nor is Brooklyn Ross, the gay newsreader. Brooklyn's gay. The gay and the girl.

Yeah, right. The gay and the girl. Can you believe that? Like, that is ridiculous to me. Archaic. Yeah, I wonder what his reasons are. Maybe he's just got suppressed urges and he can't be trusted around a gay man. He's also not a kid.

Like, I don't feel bad saying this about him. He's 19. Yeah. No, I don't care. He just trusted around a gay man. He's also not a kid. Like, I don't feel bad saying this about him. He's 19. Yeah. No, I don't care. He just looks like a little football. I just want to absolutely punt him off a building. Also, you won't be getting him on this podcast. Imagine if we told him we were straight.

Oh, my God. He'd shit himself. And then we got him. We got him on the podcast and then we broke it to him. We're actually gay. And he just started belting the absolute fuck out of it. All I need to do is flick him like he's a fucking ant and he'd disappear. Yeah, someone of your height and overall size.

Yeah, no, you're right. He wouldn't stand a chance. All right, let's go. I got that off my chest. What was his name again? H? H. And no H's were allowed near him.

All right, guys, thank you for listening to this show. Thanks for sticking by us in our darkest of days. We'll be back better next week. Hopefully. That white roll that Mitch is eating will absorb all the sickness. And that scum, that is a lot of white. That does just look like bread. It seriously is.

It's very disappointing. But anyway, what can you do? What can you do? We hope this podcast, against all odds, made you feel at least 2% better today. That's all. So we do. So we do. And we will catch you next week.

Thank you. And hopefully we're back in full health in the swing of things. Thanks for listening, guys. Mitch, I hope you feel better, okay? Yeah, you too, darling. Happy National Chiari Mouth Formation Awareness Month, everyone. Go and Google it and inform yourself. It's a big condition.

Happy Be Late for Something Day, if you're listening on Monday. And to all the Italians out there, happy olive oil day for next Tuesday. I don't think it's next Tuesday, isn't it? Your birthday? I don't know. All right then, bye. See ya. Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.