Is It Just Me? - #123: Our 3 Year Anniversary!

Episode Date: October 3, 2022

It’s a big week of celebrations with Churi’s Birthday, plus 3 YEARS of the podcast!! In this episode:Churi’s birthday surprise (02:21)Ignoring people with AirPods on (09:07)Movies that make you cry (13:49)One of our idiots spotted Coombs in public (18:42)Mitch’s quickie (24:49)Listener Anthony - “When I climax, I don’t ejaculate” (40:16)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (49:56) Get yourself a Season 4 mug: SHOP HEREHit us up @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Would you like to try a vape? Why would you take up something that is going to be addictive and expensive? I think for people. I'll tell you why. Yeah. Because you're young and stupid. Some things make more sense than others.

You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy, and I just don't know how you figure that's going to happen when you're ordering a chocolate mousse. No. You know, I had it in the car on the way home, and I didn't have a spoon. Sounds like an armadillo trying to get ants out of a hole. Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood.

Being fingered is an awful sensation. You haven't been fingered by the right person. Goodness me. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of bitches. Hi, it's Jenna. Please don't forget to include my name in the opener this season. I'm sorry.

Ta-da! Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Oh, my God. Hello, everyone. Hi, Mitchell. Hello, hello. I've got a good feeling about today's episode. Yeah, I do too.

Because we're back in... There's a few reasons, actually. I'll run you through them. We're back in our normal studio after more than a month not being able to use it. Yeah, I do too. Because we're back in, there's a few reasons actually. I'll run you through them. We're back in our normal studio after more than a month not being able to use it. And I realise it's because during that time Mercury was in retrograde. Oh no.

And by the time this episode is out, it is no longer in retrograde. Oh, is it leaving retrograde? Yeah. Coincidence, because Mercury retrograde affects your scheduling, it affects technology. There was one week we couldn't use this because someone fucking spilt a glass of water on the paddle. And then there's been double bookings and stuff. Yeah, it was a mess.

I told you. Once again, it's real. Mercury retrograde. It feels good to be back. We also have, after I'd say the longest hiatus in history, contraceptive diaphragm. Sam has returned to the show. Hello, darling. Good to have you back.

Where have you been? Around. More often than not, he's actually around. He's here. It's a question of whether he can be bothered talking to us or not. Yeah, we all have other jobs as well, guys. Sam is also a blacksmith. It's very true.

I do love my leather work. You do. Also, Pricekeeper Genesee. Hi, Jenna. Hello. Well, that's nothing special. No. I'll tell you another reason why I've got a good feeling about it.

Yeah. Because it's episode one, two, three. Oh! And let's remake it to episode one, two, three. Oh. Yay. Unless we make it to episode 1,234, this will never happen again. We could do two, three, four. Yeah, but that's less exciting. Two, three, four.

Starts from one. Yeah. Yeah, true. You're right. Also, another reason I'm keen for this episode. It's a long list. No, it is a long list. And the next reason is happy birthday.

Oh, yay. It's my birthday. Of course. We remember, didn't we? That's what good friends do. I know it is what good friends do. I knew this was coming. Where are you going? He's going to get something.

Don't! Woo-hoo! Oh, what have you got? Some birthday cake. Of course, Jenna's got a knife. Where did you pull that from? And of course, I've got a cigarette lighter in my pocket. Oh, my God.

Can we do candles in here? Are we allowed to do candles in here? Oh, fuck. I've already lit them up. Yeah, now it's happening. Oh, and I don't have any birthday music ready because it's my birthday. That's fine. I'll do some tropical music.

Aw. Happy birthday. Thank you. I only lit one candle because I'm like, actually, maybe you're right. I don't want to have an evacuation. I feel like such a bastard. Do you? I won't.

And it's caramel? Yes. How do you know my favourite cake is caramel? I don't know. I just thought I had a memory of you saying that. I nearly bought red velvet. They were putting it in the box and I was like, actually, no, caramel. It is my favourite.

I don't think I've said that often. You must have at some stage because I remember it. That's very sweet. Thank you. It's only lit on one side. Yeah, I'm worried about the smoke alarm thing now. You make a good point. Oh, but if I blow, I'll just inhale the smoke.

We don't have to sing happy birthday, do we? Do we sing? Happy birthday. Let's just do the last bit. Happy birthday, dear Mitchell. Happy birthday to you. Hip hip. Hooray. Hip hip.

Hooray. Now blow it out, arsehole. Oh, yeah. I'm going to put the lid on the cake I'm going to put the lid on the cake Guys that is so sweet Now watch out for the open gas leak That's very sweet Thank you guys He's a nice

Oh thanks Jen I've got to cut it And I've got to kiss the closest boy That's very nice I'm 27 can you believe Oh no You don't look a day over 27 It's actually a sad age

Like I'm not young and successful anymore. I'm just mediocre. Yeah. You're just working. How boring. Yeah, I'm part of the workforce. I know. It used to be like, oh, you're doing so well for your age.

Yes. Yeah. I miss those days. I feel like that stops at 26. About halfway through 26, people are like, oh, yeah, that's about right. People don't care anymore. I had to emcee a comedy night on the Gold Coast recently. Yeah.

And it was like at a uni comedy night on campus at a university. And I was shitting bricks thinking, oh, this is going to be so daunting. Like, you know, big burly university boys. Oh, my God, I'm going to feel so intimidated. And then I realised that I'm not the same age as university students anymore. Yes. They're not my peers. They're fucking babies.

They were 18 to 21. Yeah. I was like, shit, I'm older than uni students now. Sometimes I see kids on the street and I go, oh, I could be friends with them. No, I couldn't. No. No, I save money and have a lot of money in superannuation. I'm an adult.

Anyway, listen, it's actually not all about you today. Sorry. Sorry to steal your thunder. That's all right. But there's another reason I've got a good feeling about this episode. He's standing up too. Yeah. This is reason number six.

Jenna, Sam, Mitchell, happy three-year anniversary. That's right. It is. Well, it will be this week. This is terrible planning on our behalf. Don't loot me in with that. It's great planning on my behalf. Look what I've got.

Did we pay for this? What did you? Oh, champagne. A bit of champagne. Jenna's got the glasses. Oh, shit. so you all knew. Yeah, of course. We all knew.

Fucking hell. And I didn't realise that we launched so close to your birthday last time. It was October 4, apparently. Did we? The week after? Yeah. And we did some secret demos, so we would have been recording beforehand as well. That's right.

Here we go. Hey! Happy three years. We haven't had any bubbly since the 100th. I know. We did say we're going to ban from celebrations. Remember? No. Oh, no. Okay, yeah. That never hundreds. I know. We did say we're going to ban from celebrations. Remember? No.

No, okay, yeah. That never happened. I've already died on that hill. Here you go. Oh, happy three years, guys. I can't believe that. That is very exciting. Sam, come in for some bloody plonk, would you?

Oh, come on in, Sam. Speak on mic too. What a legend. By the way, coming up today, we're doing a brand new segment. It's called Mitch's Quickie. That's all I'm going to tell you. And we also got a DM from a listener that we need to address. You're in trouble, Cherry.

Me? Yeah. When am I not? Yeah. I'll explain why later. My birthday show of all things. Oh, no, we banned celebrating. Forget about your birthday.

Stop it. I can't wait to hear the montage of love and listeners that you've built for me. No fucking way. Can I just replay the one you made three years ago? We probably have a million more listeners than we did then, so it would be fresh. Anyway, look, we're all full. Cheers. Cheers to three years of idgum.

Three years of idgum. Why are the doorbells down effect? That's the iHeartRadio executives. We're signed for another three! There's a doorbell outside the studio. And then a crowd when the door opens. When are you going to fucking hand out the bits of cake, bro? What's the go?

Who wants a bit of cake? Me! Jenna? This cake is so dense. Shit, this cake is moist. Isn't it good? It's gorgeous. It's thick.

I'm glad I got the dear one. Did we pay for that or did you pay for that? Hey? Did we pay for that or did you? I did. Aw. Yeah. It's still a tax write-off.

We're talking about it, aren't we? That's delicious. This is very good. Imagine being the ATO agent and has to listen to this audio when they want to audit you. They go, can we just confirm? And they're listening to us chewing. Hi, ATO. Hi, ATO.

Hi, ATO. Hi, ATO. Hi, ATO. Hi, guys. Look into Jenna. There's some corruption going on with that Merit and Service suite. Oh, God, yeah. She comes from old money, too, so years of corruption. Oh, that money. Dust ridden.

Jenna has to keep a mothball trap in her wallet. That's how old her money is. Anyway, should we get into it? Yeah, let me have a quick sip of the punk. Oh, I was going to do that while you forward announce. It's fine. I'll wait. All right, well, if it is your first time listening, hi everyone. Sip now.

This is Is It Just Me? Every week we start the show the same way. Two idjams, something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. And we've been doing it that way for three years now. And if you want us to change, fuck off. We're full. We're vidjams. We're vidjams.

We're full of vidjams. Mitch doesn't know mine, do you, Mitch? No. You have no idea. I don't know his. We're full. The Vidgems. The Vidgems. We're full of Vidgems. Mitch doesn't know mine. Do you, Mitch? No. You have no idea. I don't know his. No fucking idea. We bring him to the table.

We also have an Is It Just You coming up. Your chance. The listeners will be on the show with a very interesting Is It Just You. We don't normally tease them, but we have a fan who has seen one of us in the flesh, and they've got some comments on it. Oh, is this? I don't know about this, so it's obviously about me. Yes, it's about you. Oh, is this? I don't know about this, so it's obviously about me. Yes, it's about you.

Oh, who's talking smack now? It's not smack, but they've seen you in the wild and they had some observations. That's all I'm going to say. So were you mean to a server? Were you rude to anyone? I don't think so. But I do just kind of have that way with people. There's a certain malaise.

But once you know you, you realise that that's just the Botox. I'm just genuinely unenthused. No, no, no. Anyway, we'll have that up on the way. Should we start? If you want, yes. So what is this? Is this like episode 123 and it's our three-year anniversary?

And your birthday. And my birthday. And Mercury in retrograde's over. So many reasons to celebrate. One more reason. I'm going to let you go first. Oh, wow. God, you're good to me.

Yeah, that's another reason to celebrate. Thank you all for I'm going to let you go first. Oh, wow. God, you're good to me. Yeah, that's another reason to celebrate. Thank you all for that. All right, let's go. Is it just me or? Airpods, the perfect excuse to pretend you didn't hear someone talking to you. Oh, my God. I did this today. I did this today.

What happened? There was construction workers out the front of my house in front of my car, and they were like, obviously, need me to move. And I didn't have the bandwidth in my house, in front of my car, and they were like, obviously needed me to move. And I didn't have the bandwidth in my brain. Hey, mate. Yeah, exactly. So I put my AirPods in, didn't play any music, but just went to my car and pointed to them and got in my car.

I did this today. It works. Really? I wouldn't have picked you to be one of those types. I thought you'd have thought, an audience. Great. No. They want my attention.

No, no, no. But I did run them both over. So I did get the audience in the end. It happened to me twice when I was in Brisbane for my comedy shows last week. The first time was at Brisbane Airport and I spotted someone I went on a date with earlier this year. Oh my God. And I was like, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I don't want to talk to them. We walked past each other and I thought, sweet. He didn't even notice. But then I heard him turn around and go, oh, hey, Mitch. And I just kept walking. Oh no. Because again, AirPods were in. There was nothing playing.

So I absolutely wholeheartedly did hear him, but I could just easily have that excuse. Oh, my God. But they don't know, clearly. Unless they listen to this, they wouldn't know. I don't think he does listen. Yeah. I hope not, anyway. It's fine.

Far out. There's no love lost there. I do it all the time, and I love it. But I have the big airpods like the big airpod maxis so they're more obvious yeah but sometimes the little ones like if you're a big person and you've got a thick ear like they can hide in there you can't see them oh yeah and with a long hair yes long hair that just disappears and then you just you if you genuinely don't hear them you just look like a dick oh no people think i'm they probably think i'm so rude because they

can't even see my airpods yeah oh shit no. No, your hair's often up, isn't it? Yeah. But it happened twice in Brisbane. The second time I was coming home back to the hotel quite late and I was right out the front of the hotel about to walk in. So my social battery was well and truly drained at that point. And I heard someone go, Oi, bro, are you that guy that works on radio?

And I thought, well, A, that's not factually true. And B, I can't be fucked. And C, I've got AirPods in, so I'm just going to pretend I can't hear him. So I ignored him, kept walking. And someone with him goes, who's that? I don't know him. He goes, oh, he works for Kyle Sanderlens. And his friend goes, oh, that makes sense.

He's as fat as Kyle Sanderlens. What? Are you kidding me? And it took me so much self-control not to turn around and knock him the fuck out. But I'm like, I've already pretended I didn't hear them, so I have to pretend I didn't hear that. Fucking hell. I was like, how rude. And how inaccurate.

Yeah, what would they have said if I was with you? Jesus Christ. Who's that blimp? Yeah. Oh, you poor thing. Oh, no, it's fine. You know, I'm one of those of those you know being fat's not a bad thing it's not an insult whatever you know body positive all that shit but then there was

a little part of me that was like fuck what else do people say when they think i can't hear them yeah oh my god i would hate to hear what some people say oh god better not to think about it i reckon no i agree do you read the threads the twitter threads and and comments on content or read the comments on your stuff you put out um yeah, I'm sure I don't see each and every one. No, no. It's when I do posts on other people's account. Like if I'm doing something for a brand, I usually don't check those. Yeah.

Because like my people are quite lovely to me. Yes. But when it goes out to, you know, the fucking KFC Instagram account, I don't really want to know. Yeah, I've gotten into a fight over someone about one of your videos. One ad you did for ANZ or something. Oh, don't tell me. Don't tell me. I don't want to know. No, it was for Spotify. And they were over someone about one of your videos. One ad you did for ANZ or something. Don't tell me.

I don't want to know. No, it was for Spotify. And they were criticising the Spotify of it all. And then I commented, like, fuck you. Like, it was very nuanced. And it was a real detailed, thought-out response. And then I was arguing about it. It was a whole thing.

So I'll be your defender in the comments. You don't need to. It's fine. I don't even look, so what I don't know won't happen. Yeah, true. Amen. All right, well, should we do my age him? Yeah, if you want. Yeah, I'm going to have a sip of champagne. Hold on. I love that Sam's still in here. Yeah, I's fine. I don't even look, so what I don't know won't help you. Yeah, true. Amen. Alright, well, should we do my age him? Yeah, if you want. Yeah, I'm going to have

a sip of champagne. Hold on. I love that Sam's still in here. Yeah, I like it. No, it's fine. You can stay. I was going to say, is that my cue? No, it's not your cue. God, no. No, no, no. This is actually good because we were losing our straight women audience, so it's nice to have you back. Oh, no, that's good. Can you just

talk sexy for a second? Sure. Oh, good. Talk about how moist the cake is. Oh, no, that's good. Can you just talk sexy for a second? Sure. Oh, good. Talk about how moist the cake is. Oh, no, I don't think, it doesn't matter how sexy your voice is. You could get, like, Morgan Freeman talking about how beautiful and moist something is, and it could do nothing for anyone. Really?

Yeah, the word moist, there's nothing cute about that. Nah. Also, for us as well, you don't want a moist anus. Speak for yourself. No, you want to add the moisture. You don't want BYO moisture. No. Oh, for us as well, you don't want a moist anus. Speak for yourself. No, you want to add the moisture. You don't want BYO moisture. No. Oh, God, no. Because it's not self-sourcing, so to say.

You don't want to precipitate yourself. No one's sitting there going, yeah, babe, I just want to fuel your swamp ass. Oh! And it is that, because it's sweat, too. Yeah. Can we not? Sorry. You said, I'm going to have my sip of champagne before we do the idjim.

You haven't even done that yet. I'm drunk! I've also had a boozy lunch before this, and I am a bit tips my sip of champagne before we do the idjim. You haven't even done that yet. I'm drunk. I've also had a boozy lunch before this and I am a bit tipsy. Oh, that's too major. Is it just me? Do you also have an animated film moment that will make you cry regardless of age or position in life? I don't think I do, actually.

No, really? No, no. Really? I think you will. No, I can't think I do actually. No, really? Nah. Really? I think you will. No, I can't cry on cue ever. Like if I watch a movie for the first time and it's upsetting, I'll probably cry then. But if I go and try and relive it,

it never works. Didn't we try and do that here once? Did we? I watched some Disney movie and it made me cry and I was like this is the first time I've cried in a film in years. And so you put it on to see if I would cry and just nothing. Oh yeah, It was shocking. Was it up in the clouds or something, Jenna? Yeah.

If there's any pressure involved, it just doesn't happen. All right. Well, let me tell you why. Because I interviewed Billie Eilish. Let me just pick up that name that was dropped. And in her famous Happier Than Ever artwork, she's crying, right? Like there's a tear in the album artwork. So what I thought I'd ask is, is it a real tear?

Because it sounds like a dumb question. But when you're on a shoot all day and you're filming, to get that one moment where you actually cry could be hard. It's a very in-depth question from an interviewer. Thank you. Thank you. I would never have thought to ask that. So this is what happened when I asked Billie

how she got the tear in Happier Than Ever. I tried to make myself cry. Can't figure it out. Or did you pinch yourself? No, dog. I was like make myself cry. Can't figure it out. What, did you pinch yourself? No, dog. I was like, somebody pull up Spirit, the horse animated horse movie, and pull up that

scene where he's galloping through the desert and the cowboys are trying to capture him and they break him and they turn him into... And he cried. Oh my god. That movie makes me... It makes her bawl!

Spirit! The horse film! But nothing sad happened in the scene. It was just galloping. That's what horses do, bitch. No, the horse was... Dog? Yeah, that was a bit odd, wasn't it?

Was she calling you a dog? Well, it kind of sounded... I don't know. It's so much less scathing in an American accent. Dog? Dog? There's definitely a W in there, dog. It's softened.

Dog. Anyway, spirit. Now, the horse gets captured by the hunters and turned into glue. They turn into glue. Oh. What? Yeah, they turn horses into glue. Did my parents cut off the ending?

I've never seen that part. No? Really? Yeah, was that just cut off in the Channel 7 version? I just taped to VHS? I don't know. I've not seen it. Jenna, you're a horse girl.

Surely you've seen it. Hang on. Where are you getting that information from then if you haven't seen it? The comments. Everyone's going, glue. Because Billy gets cut off before she says it. And everyone in the comments is like, glue. He gets turned to glue.

Maybe he doesn't in the movie, but that's what happens to horses, right? They get turned to glue. I thought dog food. Isn't that how it works? Dog food? Yeah. Yeah. There was a dog food factory right near my primary school

So every morning we'd get to school and it smelled like dead horse Oh my god You'd just see Farlap going through Oh dear Oh well, anyway I have an animated film that makes me cry every time Which one? This moment, in The Lion King

You have to be a cold dead heart if you don't cry When Simba's in that dry valley. Oh, the stampede. Oh, the stampede. And he's going, where's my lion dad? What's his name? Mufasa. Mufasa.

And then there come the deer. Antelope. Antelope. Is it antelope? Yeah, it's an antelope. Antelope. I don't think it is. It is.

And they chase him. Oh, my God. And then Simba gets stampeded. Mufasa does everything he can to save him. And Mufasa still dies. All at the hands of Claw. What's his name? Scar.

Scar. For fuck's sake. Clearly, it really hit me hard. The wildebeest. It wasn't a fucking antelope. It was a wildebeest. I'm like, antelope is not scary. Yeah, true.

And so you have to go to the end bit when he's going, Dad, Dad, wake up. We've got to go home. And he looks at Scar and Scar goes, I did it, kid. No, he says, no, he tells him he did it. He gaslit him. Oh, did he? Yeah.

And from the position of power. Run away and never return. Here, here. This movie makes him cry. It's so close to his heart. I can't remember a fucking detail. Shush. Claws in the claw.

Scar. Scar. Long live the king. That's Prince Charles. Okay, just so everyone knows, he's pouring champagne on his face so it looks like he's crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. We haven't even gotten to the sad bit you were describing yet.

Oh, it's over. Oh, fuck me. Are you joking? And that was champagne. My eye's burning. I didn't have water on the table. Oh, God. They cut the video off.

I think the line's... Oh, no! It's going on to the next one! Cut the idiom. Cut it. Here we go. Is it just me? Got something on your mind? Hit up at coupleofmitches on Instagram

to get yourself on the show. Alright, you can hit us up in our DMs, coupleofmitches, your chance to have an Is It Just You of your own. This isn't Is It Just Me. Contact Pricekeeper Jenna, win yourself a prize. If you hear yourself on the show, obviously. Yeah, that's right. Now, what's going on today?

Apparently, it's someone who's crossed paths with me. Yeah, so this is Zach from Brisbane. Zach, welcome. Hi, mate. Hey, guys. How's it going? Yeah, we're good. Hello, Zachary.

Oh, he sounds a bit tense. Yeah, I'm scared. No, I very rarely remember names, but I'm pretty sure he worked for Virgin Airlines. Oh, he was a virgin. Yeah, it is correct. I am a virgin, yeah. Oh! Bingo.

I knew it. Wow. And I will say this. I was about to board the flight back to Sydney. Yeah. And I had AirPods in. They actually were playing something. Oh. And I had AirPods in. They actually were playing something. Oh.

And I heard him say, oh, love the podcast. I listened to it on the way here today, actually. And I was like, oh, thanks. So I even talked over what I was listening to. It might not be a good experience for Zach. Zach, we're going to get you to do an e-gym, okay? So we'll count you in and then you hit us with your story, okay? Also, by the way, before we move on, I need to say I'm so sorry for the way I sounded.

I had a big night the night before and I'd lost my voice. I was like, oh, thank you. Oh, no. Hold on, hold on. We need to know what Zach wants to say first of all. So, Zach, we're going to count you in and then hit us with your regim, okay? Mm-hmm. Is it just me or?

Do you absolutely hate the phrase, watch this space? I can't fucking stand it. Like, you know when someone that you went to high school with starts some shitty business, they make an Instagram page, and it's just like, watch this space, good things coming soon. What the fuck? Wait, wait, Zach. Give me something.

Hang on, can I just, I'm so sorry to interrupt everyone, but Mitch is over there shrugging his shoulders, looking very confused. Is this not what you thought Zach was going to say? I thought Zach was going to come on and say, is it just me, or does Mitchell Coombs need to fight business class? Zach, I thought that's what was going to happen. No, he definitely does, though. He was in a shit seat.

That's what I wanted! Row fucking 19, Mitchell, come on. Who is your travel agent? Let's get you a better one. Yes! I mean, you're in charge of the free upgrades, bubs. Yeah. You could have thrown a dog a bone.

Because we can't have you sitting in row 19. That was disgusting. I was happy with it. I was happy with it. Wait, hold on, hold on, because that's what I wanted from you, Zach. So you work for Virgin. You're not a Virgin, and you served Mitchell. What happened?

Did he walk on, and did you notice? Or did you only notice when he was sitting down, and you thought there was a lovely woman up front, only until you saw them from the front, and you went, that's my Mitchell Coombs? I honestly wasn't even paying attention. And then I saw the name, like, this game boarding club passes. It comes up on my screen. And I'm like, what the fuck? I looked up and then I saw this, like, real homeless looking man.

And it turned out it was Mitchell Coombs. You don't want to know what a rough morning I had that day. Yeah, he did. I did suffer. Your voice was not there at all. I got home so late and then someone called me fat in the hotel lobby. And then I did what any person who's just been called fat does and I ordered McDonald's and then I fell asleep before it arrived

and I woke up to all these missed calls saying, I've arrived. My food was just rotting out the front. No. And I had like an hour to get to the airport. So I did not look well. I did not sound well. And I was like, oh, it's the airport. So I did not look well. I did not sound well. And I was like, oh, it's so nice to meet you. Why now?

Why now? And could you not have thrown him a free upgrade, Zach? Do you have that power or given him an exit row at least? I do have that power, yes. But sadly, the flight was completely full when you were boarding. You've got to hit us up at check-in before boarding. I was lucky to make it in time, Tuk. I was grateful to just be on the fucking plane

And did you hear his croaky voice? I did, like barely It was so bad I literally said it in the message When I messaged you guys I was like, is he okay? I wouldn't have sounded well that day That's why Zach's calling

It's more of a welfare check Is it just you? I was looking, man. Wow. I really thought I scrubbed up quite nicely. And why weren't you at his live show, Zach? I'll be honest. I didn't even know you were doing live shows up here.

Loyal listener, I take it. Yeah, really loyal. I love the show. I listen every week. That's the core of it. All right. Thank you, Zach. It's because of assholes like you that don't buy tickets that I can't yet afford business class. Amen.

You can live with that. It's full circles, Zach. It was sold out anyway. It was, yeah. He's got a point. No help of your own. Well, watch this space, Zach. I'll let you know when I'm next in Brisbane. I'll watch this space, yeah, sure. Thanks for coming on the show. Don't forget to message Jenna and get yourself a prize. Yes, message me. Will do. Thanks, guys.

Bye. Bye, darling. Lovely to meet you. Could you spend hours on the phone with them trying to prep them and save this? And then Bradley will count you in and then we'll say, is it just me or? Then you finish the sentence. I can't believe he thought I looked homeless. That was very rude. I didn't look that fucking bad. Self-admitted, though.

You said you didn't look good. I didn't feel good. I thought I looked amazing. Oh, no. And was this after the shows? Yeah. It was when I was flying back and I just ran into that guy I'd gone on

a date with looking homeless. Not a great morning. Can I say, I thought it was going to be uplifting. The message he sent was, I saw Mitch on the plane and he needs to be on in business. And I went, this is hilarious. I didn't realise he was going to rip you. He was literally just saying, you're homeless. Fuck, that's not a good look.

Yeah, that's all he said. Anyway, if you want to get on the show, hit us up in a couple of inches. Slide into the DMs. If you see us out in the public looking disgusting, get on the show. How did the shows go, by the way? I heard they were great. Brilliant. Great.

Yay. Previously, Melbourne was my best ever show, but so's Melbourne. Oh, Brisbane's taken a cake. Brisbane's taken a cake. Really? 100%. Oi, do you want to know who else i ran into in brisbane yeah do you remember how you famously forgot my birthday on the podcast

sam he's talking to you i think and it was no no and then it wasn't until a caller came on and reminded you and said happy birthday mitchell yeah i met her i met caitlin oh you met the bitch she actually did say oh i listened to the rest of the episode. I'm sorry for causing all that tension. Yeah, thank you. No, I'm glad you did, Caitlin. I'm glad you did. No, I'm going to start calling her Yoko Ono.

She tried to split us up. She tried to break up the boys. She did. I probably would have brought it up if she didn't. No, would you have? After the fact, yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay. All right, hit us up.

Couple of minutes. Just slide into the DMs and win yourself something fun. Right. You know how I left Trash Alley, the other podcast, recently? Yeah, I remember. And that was the right choice to make. Well, yeah, I certainly don't regret it. I do feel like it was the correct decision for me at the time.

But one thing I do regret about leaving is that I kind of miss talking about all the pop culture stuff we used to cover, like all the entertainment celebrity crap. Yes. Actually, that was a fun part of the show. It was. From when I filled in, I enjoyed doing it, like bringing celeb goss. It was good. And we don't really do a lot of that here.

No. I think we should keep it that way. We shouldn't, you know, become Trash Alley and dedicate a whole episode to celebrity bullshit. However, what I'd like to propose is just a quickie, darling. Just a little quickie. I'm calling it Mitch's Quickie because rather than dedicating the whole episode to celebs, I'll just do a little bit,

a little slice of the show. I'll just throw a couple of things in there. I'll keep it short and sweet. How do we feel about that? I can get across a quickie. I like it. I haven't done a longie in years, to be honest. I'm just built for a quickie these days.

I love it. What's your longest non-quickie? Longest in the bedroom. Yeah. Like with breaks and like cuddling and stuff. Yeah. Two hours. Okay. Maybe a bit shorter. Longer than an hour but less than two I'd say. Yeah I'd say the same actually. Like a short

animated film length. Yeah. I hate to ask what Sam's record is. Fucking hell. Oh my god. Six days. On the gan. On the gan. On the gan. What is it, Sam? No, no one. Look, listen.

Hang on. I have to think. Probably. We could be here forever. No, no. If I'm going to go down your route, so you have the cuddling and the thing. Yes. Sure.

Maybe like four and a half. Wow. Yeah. Fucking hell. Multiple finishes in that? Or is, maybe like four and a half. Wow. Fucking hell. Multiple finishes in that or is there one finish? No, no, multiple. But also you kind of start late afternoon and then it goes into the night. Then you go get a pizza or something. Yeah, right.

That doesn't count if there's an intermission. Well, you pause the timer. Yeah, what are you in the bedroom? Helton. Intermission. Sam has programs. Merch. Congrats, you fuck Sam. And when he's about to go you in the bedroom? Hilton. Intermission. Sam has programs. Yeah, I do. Merch. Congrats, you fuck Sam.

And when he's about to go back into the bedroom, he just lets off this... The next fuck will come in five minutes. Please, find your bed. I'm just praying. So there's a lovely young man that's just standing at the door just ushering people in. No glass allowed in here, Simon.

No flash photography, thank you. And recording of any kind is strictly prohibited. Prohibited, yeah. I'm just praying there's no chock-top. Now, shut your eyes and hope for the best. Oh, God. Anyway. And then, Jenna, how long was the Contiki?

A two-week-long trip. Three weeks. So Jenna beats us. Wow, what are the odds? Who would have known? It was like a relay. It wasn't the same person the whole time, but she was being fingered at all times. Oh, got it.

Pass the baton, bruvby. Oh, we're drunk. Shit. We really are. Tipsy. Shit. All right, what's the segment? Mitch is fucked.

Oh, Mitch is cookie is what it's called. Yeah, okay. Fuck. I can't even remember what I was going to do for these now. We've gone a bit tiddly. Yeah, we'll work it out. Tiddly. Have you not heard the word tiddly? Yeah, I like the word tiddly. What is tiddly? He would. Like, oh, tipsy.

Oh, a bit tiddly. I've not heard that. Tiddly. He didn't grow up in middle Australia like us. Middle Australia? Yeah. Is that where you were from? Middle Australia? Middle class. Oh, I was middle class. Upper middle. Yeah, but you were like mutton dressed as lamb in the show. Yes, thank you.

You think you're upper class. Thank you, thank you. No, I wasn't wealthy by any means. Wasn't is in part. Currently, though. Currently. I'm rolling in it. You've got no idea, bitch.

Yeah. All right. Shall we do this segment? Wow. Wow. Yes. Let's get this quickie over and done with.

Oh, that's fun. So Australian Idols coming back. Did you hear? I did. I did. I love the whole line up. I think it's fantastic. Do you? Yeah. Interesting choices, but at the end of the day, I think it's good. I think it's nice. Well, we knew that Kyle was coming back. Kyle Sandlin's obviously. Yeah. The original grumpy judge.

I don't think he was the original. He wasn't even in the original series. Wasn't he? I think he replaced. He replaced Dicko. Yeah, that's right. But then eventually they brought Dicko back and it was all four. Oh, so it's like one of those Mandela effects.

I think that he was always the one mean judge. Yes, in a way. Yeah. Interesting. But yeah, he's coming back. And then he was saying that he wanted to get one Australian. And the Australian is Amy Shark. That's great.

Pause for comments. I love Amy. She's lovely. She's great. I've had her on my show a bunch of times. She's very sweet. She's very funny. She has a sense of humour that I don't think many people would realise.

Like her songs are a bit suey. So a bit sad. So I think. Which I love about her. That's my favourite part. But it'll be interesting to see how she goes to the judge. I feel like she's too nice to judge. No, but she'll go down the Marsha route because that way she can be kind and do the whole thing.

And also she's a bit indie. I think she'll be the nice one that doesn't give any, like she's middle of the ground. And then for the US star, they've got Meghan Trainor. Oh. Which is, like everyone knows who that is, but no one's overly excited to hear that name. So it's kind of like, really? No. Like no one's going to tune in for Meghan Trainor.

That's just my opinion though. No. Of course, Meghan Trainor, known for such hits as what? Oh, my God. I've got it. Yep. We'll wait. All about that thing.

Jenna! That's Meghan Trainor. Yes. And last but not least, they're really hyping up Harry Connick Jr. They're saying, ah, you'll love this, ladies. Yeah. They're kind of making him the main drawcard, but I don't even know who that is.

Should I know who that is? No. Well, you know where you will know. This is the most Mitchell Coombs reference ever. Remember on Hey Hey It's Saturday or Red Faces when they did Blackface? Sorry, would you like to explain to me how that's a Mitchell Coombs reference? Middle Australia. Fucking hell.

No, because it's a moment in Australian culture. I think it's disgusting. It's a horrible moment. Yes, thank you. No, we condemn it. You're like, oh, you know what's so Mitchell Coombs? The stolen generation. Oh, God.

No, no, no. I'm just saying. Pardon me. Dad, choose your words carefully. But no, I don't know him from a block of soap, Chuck. Haven't you seen that when he's on Jenna Knows It? Yeah, I know that. He's on Hey Hey It's Saturday and they're doing red faces

and an Australian actor in blackface doing the Jackson 5 and it's disgusting. Yeah. And everyone's laughing in the audience and Harry Connick Jr. is like, this is fucked. Wait, he wasn't one of the people in blackface? No, he was the guest judge and he was judging the talent shows. Okay, I see.

And he was like, hold on, am I being punked? And he actually called out, didn't he, on TV? And he's like, if this happened in America, you'd be persecuted. It's horrific. It's very embarrassing. Anyway, that's what I know Harry Connick Jr. from. Surely he's got more shit on his resume than that. That's all I know.

Pretty much it, yeah. I think he sings, he plays the pan flute. Yeah, I think he's involved in Idol on his resume than that. That's all I know. Pretty much it. Yeah, pretty much it. Really? I think he sings. He plays the pan flute. Yeah, I think he's involved in Idol in the US maybe one season of that, I think. See, I was hoping they'd get Katy Perry. Oh, imagine that. Because she's in Australia anyway because her route Orlando is in that film in Queensland. So she's hanging around.

She knows how to be an Idol judge. She does American Idol. Yeah. She's not busy. So like surely she could have idol judge. She does American Idol. Yeah. She's not busy. So, like, surely she could have done it. But no, no, bitterly disappointed. But, you know, I'll still watch, obviously. I'll be watching.

And, you know, the hosts are interesting, too. It's Rikki Lee, right? Love her. Oh, I love Rikki Lee. And Full Circle, because she was an original. She didn't win, but she was a contestant, right? Yeah. She was, like, she came fourth or something.

Wow. Yeah. So, yes, she is hosting it alongside Scott Tweedy. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, no, he's a safe pick, I think. He's a very safe pick. Very. Very vanilla.

Very handsome man. Love Scott Tweedy. Lovely guy. Oh, yeah, he's been around forever. He's got my future hairstyle. Google Scott Tweedy hair. He's gorgeous. He's got the coif, but he's starting, he's probably almost 40.

Coif? You got the wrong vowel. What did I say? Coif. You said coif. Did I? Yeah Coif? You got the wrong vowel. What did I say? Coif. You said coif. Did I? Yeah. You just swapped out the wrong vowel.

Need a cup of coffee. I'll get a New Yorker. He's got a coif, and it's got grey flecks in it, and it looks gorgeous. Oh, it is good. And that's what I want when I'm turning mid-30s, early 40s. I always thought that having a grey streak in the front of your hair was a side effect of diabetes. You could get that within a matter of days.

Give me another slice of that cake. I'll have it by the end of the show. There you are. Finish it off, darling. Also, apparently Buckingham Palace are freaking out because the next season of The Crown is coming soon. Oh. November 9, to be exact, which I'm quite excited about.

I dropped out, Mitch, of the show. I did too. When? Of watching it. How much did you watch? First season and then gave up. I told you you fucking never listened to me. I know, I know. I said start from season four.

I said start from season four. I love season one and two and I didn't want them to change the actors. That's why I didn't continue. Oh no. It's better in the middle. Three and four are better. Really? I've heard that, yeah. Because I've only watched season four and then I had an increased curiosity about the royal family after Liz Carcter. So I've just started watching season one and two and I'm fucking over it.

Oh, really? I thought Claire Foy was great. She makes the queen look pathetic. She does a bit. You're right. That's how the queen was when she first started. Are you calling? Jenna was a corgi at one point.

I was the corgi. Jenna was a corgi. I was Susan, her first. The first corgi. When she got it. Well, that's how Liz was. She was me corgi. I was the corgi. I was Susan, her first. The first corgi. When she got it. Well, that's how Liz was. She was me. Yeah.

No, but she wasn't that pathetic. They do make her out to be so softly spoken and dumb. They make her out to be so uneducated. They do. Which is also, I didn't know that she had no formal education. That's fucking hilarious for some reason. The queen didn't go to school. I know.

Isn't that funny? But when you think about it, where would she go? She can't go to school. She's the queen. Well, fucking Will and Kate's kids just didn't go to school. I know. Isn't that funny? Boy, you think about it. Where would she go? She can't go to school. She's the Queen. Fucking Will and Kate's kids just started at a new school, so I think that's why they can go to school. True, true. She wasn't the Queen when she was in primary school.

Oh, yeah, good point. She wasn't on the money when she was using that money to buy stuff at the tuck shop. But anyway, you need to watch it from season four onwards because that's when Diana comes into it. Olivia Colman's much better than that fucking Pipsqueak Claire. Oh, no, she's not. Shut up. Don't. No, she's really good. Claire Foy's great.

And I'm a little bit shitty that they're changing cast again for season five, but the reason that they're worried at Buckingham Palace and bloody Royal HQ is because this is when they get into the nitty gritty of what a scumbag Prince Charles, sorry, King Charles was in the past. It covers up all the

divorces and affairs and whatnot. Well, our royal prank call. Yes, the telephone. Jenna, Netflix might be calling us in the next few weeks. We didn't have a prank call. Oh, yeah, the royal. Don't put our name to the royal prank call. Someone commented that going, oh, the new royal prank call.

It's not a prank call. No, it was a real call. Interesting. So he was a scumbag because he cheated on Diana while they were married with Camilla, is that right? Yeah. Yeah. The phone call explains it all.

The infamous phone call, you're right. And because they just like to, like, I'm well aware watching The Crown that everything has been embellished. They fact check with royal experts, but they've probably fucking turned things up a few notches and blown it out of proportion. And I'm aware watching that. So they're probably going to make him look like 10 times the asshole that he actually was.

Yeah, true. And so, yes, because he's now the king, yeah, they're like, fuck me, we're going into damage control before it's even been done. You'd think they'd take the press. You know, any press is good press, really. And it's Netflix. Great views. Like if SBS on demand said we're going to make-

They're not benefiting from that at all. No, no, but they're being talked about. They'll get fans out of that, believe it or not. Yeah, but I've learnt some weird shit about the royals that did not make my opinion of them better by watching The Crown. Oh, like what? Like the fact that they've got two relatives with mental disabilities that they just cut off all communication from

and basically hid away in an asylum because they thought that it would bring shame to the family and people would lose faith in their ability to rule the monarch because they've got mental disability in their bloodline. Oh, no. The Kennedy family was the exact same. JFK's sister was mentally ill. She had a lobotomy and everything.

I didn't know that. And they just forgot about her. And are they alive still? Well, not now. I doubt it. This is ages ago. That's awful. That makes me sad.

Yeah, and because they were in, like, a mental institution, everyone thought that they were insane saying no i'm the queen's cousin they're like okay oh no but they actually were oh that's really sad right and i'm like you're a fucking dog that's rough but also is that lizzie's choice or was that just the the business that is the royal family in buckingham palace yeah but the buck stops with her she can override those fucking idiots, her advisors, who I hate. Watching that show, I'm like, shut up. Yeah.

She just doesn't get told. I love the sister, Margaret. Apparently, rumor is, lesbian. My grandfather. Isn't she dead? Yeah, it was. My grandfather danced with her. So he was invited to a royal dance.

It was supposed to be with a queen, but she couldn't turn up. So it was her and they had so much fun with her. Really? She was such a party animal. Yeah. I did watch that episode recently. Yes. Who played your grandfather?

You'll see. Interesting. Wow. I just said I watched it. So he's in fact seen. It's in the next season. Yeah. Wow.

I can't wait to watch that. I will watch that season then. No, you must. Season four onwards is all you need next season. Yeah. Wow. I can't wait to watch that. I will watch that season then. No, you must. Season four onwards is all you need to watch. Okay. And also, Nicki Minaj's fans keep selling her shit on eBay, which is a bit weird, isn't it? What do you mean?

What stuff? So, she lost like a fake nail when she was at MTV Awards a couple of weeks ago. Yeah. Someone found it, popped it on eBay, and it went for like 55 grand. What? No way. A used fingernail that just fell off Nicki Minaj. Was it a bidding war or was it by now?

Yeah, that's what happened. It was a bidding war. And just last week someone ripped some of the hair out of one of her wigs because it was a really long wig. They ripped a few strands of hair out, put it on eBay, and currently at the time of record it's going for $19,000 Australian dollars. Jesus. My God.

And I'm like, there's just, as you know, I've got a fucking Lady Gaga tattoo, which I regret, but there's no one on earth that I adore enough to spend that much money on a fucking strand of their fake hair. Yeah. Imagine that. $19,000. I think we could make some cash stuff on it.

I've got an eBay account. Let's put some stuff up. Cheery 123. It's right there. Jenna, rip one of your nails off. We don't care if it's a cat nail and it'll bleed to death. How soiled are your underpants, Jenna? We can put them up right now.

What do you have over there, me? I've got a, oh, that, the cork from the champagne we popped. I can see it now. That could be any champagne cork. No, no, no. You're going to sign it now with a pen. I'll sign one side, Jenna signs another, Sam can sign it, and we'll say the cork from the Third year anniversary

Ijum celebrations Okay Oh that's cute Our green jubilee Oh why don't we polish the bottle off And we sell the whole bottle You can't really sign a bottle It's dark

And the postage The cork will be cheap as chips Alright sign it Mitchell I've got a permanent marker Do you? Yeah right here And we're going to put it on eBay I'll do it right now

Oh god okay I'm up on eBay Oh someone is Oh they're bidding on my boucle chair What do you Do you actually sell things on eBay? All'll do it right now. I'm up on eBay. Oh, someone is bidding on my boucle chair. Do you actually sell things on eBay? All the time. Really? I've been an eBayer for years. Is that where my missing airports went?

I've just done my initial MC, so it's like a choose your own adventure. Is that cherry signature or Coombs's? You just don't know. Oh my god, alright, so we're going to put this up on my eBay. We'll link it in the Enduring Idiots because you've got to really know your market. Like, who else is going to purchase this? Yeah, true.

You're actually going to try and sell this? Yeah, of course. And it will sell. Should you pop this in there, too? The metal bit? Yeah, yeah. Kiss it. Why don't you kiss it?

Kiss it. Add the value. I'll patch it. Okay. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. I might bid myself. Have this. It's been licked. Oh. Oh. I might bid myself. Have this. It's been licked. Oh, it slipped out of my hands. All right.

This is going up on eBay. This will be up by the end of the show, everybody. Yeah, pop it in the Facebook group. I like that idea. Yeah. Do you reckon we can top the fucking 19 grand that Nicki Minaj's fake hair is currently on? Yeah. Yeah.

Let's do it. Or the 55 grand for the nail. Oh, that's going to be a tough one. Yeah. We'll try our best. We'll try our best the nail. That's going to be a tough one. Yeah, sure. We'll try our best. We'll try our best. We just get embarrassed and end up buying it ourselves. We all put in six grand.

No, I put the exact amount that's on the kiddio, so it just kind of does a loop. Is it just me? The rude shocks of young adulthood. So the other day we got a DM on Instagram at Couple of Mitches from one of our darling listeners named Anthony. And you played the message to me and it was fascinating. And you said, oh, we could do a whole segment about that.

So firstly, let's just hear what this message was that we thought, oh, that's great. We've got to use this. First message from Anthony. Mitches, I'm Anthony. Love your work. I just wanted to say, share a little something. Mitch Coombs, I think I'm living your dream.

When I climax, I don't ejaculate. Nothing comes out. It is. No mess, no fuss. As I say to my friends and family, I could be wanking on the train, driving at home in front of you, and you wouldn't even know. You wouldn't even know because there's no mess, no mess, no fuss, no cleanup. It's a shame because I do like the cum and the playing with that. But otherwise, before sleep, you do your thing straight away drift off roll over drift off end of

story it's quite convenient wow and i think we would notice if he was i was gonna say yeah you would absolutely notice that's what i love how he says as i've told my young nephews you know any chance i can get there's so much to unpack there, isn't there? A lot. There's a lot. Yeah. Like he says, oh, as much as I like cum and I like to play with it. Play with it? Yeah. No good. Gross. I mean, when I was a teenager, I'd play with it once.

What do you mean? When you want to see the texture. Like instead of a sandcastle? What are you doing with it? I'm making a cum hut. No, I'm just like, you just pick it up and feel the texture of it. Oh, no. You do it once.

I don't do it now. Have you tasted your own? No. Oh, neither of it. Oh, no. You do it once. I don't do it now. Have you tasted your own? No. Oh, neither have I. Oh, my God. You have, haven't you? No. No, so the reason he said that he's living my dream was,

remember I was saying a while ago that I had what I thought was a wet dream. Yes. And I was like, oh, that's annoying. I'm still asleep at this point. I'm like, oh, that's fucking annoying. I'm going to have to get up and clean it up. Yeah. And there was no clean up. And I was like, oh, that's fucking annoying. I'm going to have to get up and clean it up. Yeah. And there was no cleanup.

And I was like, God, that is just so much more convenient because sometimes you just don't want to have to deal with the load. Yeah. And so, yes, you played me this message and we said, yes, oh, we should do a segment about that. Yeah, we did. Maybe we should get a sexologist on and we can find out how can other people achieve this?

Yes. Because that sounds like it could be a matter of convenience. Sometimes you just want to turn it off. Yeah. I reached out to the sexologist. I locked them in. Yes. Because that sounds like it could be a matter of convenience. Sometimes you just want to turn it off. Yep. I reached out to the sexologist. I locked them in. Great. And then I went to Anthony's DMs to get the audio, and I noticed that there was a second

voice message. Yeah, there was a couple, but I just assumed it was more of that ramble. Did you listen to the second message before you pitched this to me, Cherry? No, I didn't. I feel like you probably should have. What, is he a criminal? This is the second message oh my god sad story why it happened though um cancer oh cancer surgery uh retroperitoneal

lymph node dissection oh they split you uh your stomach uh down the middle vertically and they take out the lymph nodes that are cancerous um but, yeah, so they had a 50% chance of damaging a nerve cell that actually controls ejaculation, the pumping of the muscles that propelled the semen outside the penis, which is located in the abdomen, strangely enough, not in your groin, but it was damaged, and that's that. Yes, it was an awkward moment when I told my mum that I found out that I couldn't ejaculate because it implied that I masturbated.

Yeah. And that's a bit of an awkward conversation to have with mum when you're 19 years old. It shouldn't be. Well, he tells the rest of his family where he jerks off. I don't know why he draws the line at telling his mum. Anyway, that is very sad. Our thoughts are with you. Anthony, I didn't

listen to that, no. You really wanted me to get this cancer survivor on the phone and say, tell us your secret. You're living the dream, babe. You're living the fucking dream. No, I didn't. Is this the part where you tell me, Anthony's right behind me? No, no, no, no, no.

He's fine. He's in good spirits about it. Is he in remission? He's all healthy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said to him, oh, sorry about the cancer bit, Bart. He goes, oh, cancer schmancer. It's fine.

Oh, good. Okay. But then he also said, it's a silver lining, the no mess, no fuss thing, but it's not a silver lining during the bedroom gymnastics, as I like all things moist and gooey. Oh, God. He's really doubling down on the texture. Oh, God. Well, that's a good lesson for us.

Always. I can't believe I had to cancel the sexologist I had booked as well. I was like, oh, Brian, don't bother about that interview. We locked in. It's fine. We have all the information we need now. Imagine how embarrassing it would have been for the sexologist to have gone, now what are the circumstances, Anthony?

And Anthony would be like, no cancer. We had them both on. We had Anthony on the phone. We had the sexologist on. And he goes, yeah, so people can achieve this by, you know, doing certain mind games and, you know, tensing certain muscles. You can stop the ejaculation before it happens. Anthony, what do you do?

And he goes, I had cancer. Oh, that would have been awful. That's shocking. And so, no, he says, I'm living your dream, Mitchell. And I'm like, well, no. He buried the lead, to be honest. But, I mean, he is focusing on the glass half full approach because, fuck, it would be so much more convenient because sometimes you can't be bothered.

I bet he'd love a glass half full of it too. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm fucking, I enjoy things gooey and whatever he said. Like, that was nuts. It makes sense that he's, like, reminiscing about what it was like. Maybe he misses it. Oh, yeah. So he's like, oh, remember I used to play with my own?

I don't think it's his own. Oh. Oh. I think he's a friend of Dorothy's, Aaron. Oh, I did wonder that. I did wonder. Yeah. I wonder if he has phantom cums.

You know, like, when you lose a limb or, I mean, don't remember. Well, he still has, like, orgasms, but it just doesn't make him mad. Yeah, but when people go- Which, like I said, fuck, that does kind of appeal to me sometimes. It does sound appealing, but, you know, when people lose limbs and they can still feel it for years after it's gone, like, I wonder if he still feels it. Oh, the sheets.

Oh, wait, never mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I did with that dream. Yes, yeah, true, true. I was like, why was it wet there then? Oh, God. What an episode this has been. Maybe I just dreamt it happened.

I don't know how that thing worked. Maybe it didn't actually happen. Anyway, all right. Well, cake, anybody? Anyway, should we get the fuck out of here? Not that we're not having fun. Yeah, let's go. Cheers to it, guys.

Three years of your gym. Can you believe that? I cannot. Cheers. We've been through fucking a pandemic through most of those years too. Truly, it does feel like three years, but then again, it doesn't even feel like it's been that long. It's weird.

Do you reckon we've got three more in us? I think so. God, yeah. Yeah, why not? It's become part of life. Have we got anything better on? No, not at this point. It's been fun.

Three years. Good on us. And thank you for you guys for listening, truly. Couldn't do it if it weren't for you. And some people are only just joining the bandwagon. You've got three years worth of catching up to do, dickhead. I know. I do love, though. You're being bit. I need to stop drinking. You do, truly. I like that our back catalogue is evergreen, like we're not talking

about real political events or moments in time because you can listen to the old episodes and they will make sense. Do you know what's really cringe to listen to, though? What? Listening to the episodes that we did right as COVID started to become a thing. Yeah. And we say things like, oh, have you heard that if you get it, you have to spend two weeks locked down?

That sounds lovely. Oh, yeah, yeah. And we're like, I would kill to just do nothing and stay at home for two weeks that would be beautiful and then fucking after three months of straight lockdown we're like we're insane it actually would be funny to listen back to those things and be like wow idiot we had no idea no oh god all right well thank you for listening everyone we love you and remember that time um your the mileyiley Cyrus concert you had tickets to got cancelled because of COVID. Oh, yeah.

And you were like, oh, you've cancelled the show just because a couple of people might get a sniffle? Grow up. Oh, dear. Oh, no. People died. People died. Yeah.

That was the start of it all, really, wasn't it? Yeah. That was. That was the start. Then they cancelled the Easter show, which really pissed Jen off. Yeah. I just couldn't believe that there were more people dying in New York on a daily basis than the amount that died in the 9-11 attacks.

Yes. And that was just one event. Obviously, you know, a horrific one. Not to negate from that. But there were more people that died that day in 9-11 dying every day in New York. And I'm like, that's fucked. I also think the numbers are still quite high. Like, I think people are still dying.

That's none of our business. No, no. They're just not reporting on it. Remember the daily press conferences? At 11 o'clock. Oh, my God. Every day. These are the amount of cases.

These are the deaths. It was exhausting. We used to sit around and make bets on it. Yeah. Yeah. And be like, oh, it's 6.15. We're never getting out of this. It's going to be like this forever.

And we just kept making fucking stupid podcasts the whole time. Yeah. We didn't stop. We're never getting out of this. It's going to be like this forever. And we just kept making fucking stupid podcasts the whole time, really. Yeah, we didn't stop. We're the problem. That was our coping mechanism. Yeah, well, we're here through the end of it three years later. Yeah. Well, happy birthday as well. Yeah, happy birthday.

Thank you, guys. Thank you for listening, everyone. It was a five-star review, of course. Hit us up. Slide into the DMs if you've got an idiom of your own and you'll win something good with Pricekeeper Jenna. Yep. Yes, thank you for listening, idiots,

especially you ones that have been there from day dot three years ago. We love you. We love you. Thank you for listening. Here's to another three years. Peace. Cheers. Cheers.

Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to AD Debrief. This is our secret segment on the end. It's not a bonus segment because bonus implies that we're offering you something good. Yes. Secret segment is because we're fucking

ashamed of it. It's just nonsense here. We try to bury it. We do. We hope that most people don't discover it but in the space of three years

we haven't pulled the wool over your clit that much. No. You've all found it. Well said. Thank you for having me on Chooks.

Oh it was our pleasure. Yeah. Of course. Is this you wrapping up or something? Yeah no. Oh well I hope the podcast made

you feel 2% better Sam. Oh dude so we do. No thank you. See you Sam. You gotta go. I do. Oh okay. Yeah. Of course. Is this you wrapping up or something? Yeah, no. Well, I hope the podcast made you feel 2% better, Sam. Oh, it did. So we do. No, thank you. See you, Sam. You've got to go. I do. Oh, okay.

See you, Sam. Places to be, people to do. Oh, yeah. Wow. Of course. I wish that was true. For a couple of hours by the sound support. Yeah, yeah.

Well, yeah, three to four. See you, Sam. Yeah, see you. Happy three years. Why did you find the doorbell? Is there no other sound effect that is celebratory in our system? Yeah, yeah, but I've done it once. I've set the precedent of the doorbell.

See you, Sam. See you, Sam. I did actually think about that before we did the episode. I was like, I've kept Mitchell's birthday and the anniversary stuff a surprise, so he won't have any sound effects prepared. So, yeah, I really just dug my own grave there. That's all right. I can get them up if you want now.

Oh, no. Not again. I also don't like the doorbell one, but that's fine. Keep it if it means no gunshot. Why don't you like it? Because it just is so irrelevant to what's going on. Hello, who is it? Like, why the fuck does that sound effect even exist?

Well, that's what happened. In what context would that be used? I thought it was the iHeart team coming over. Maybe we were talking about what happens when, because whenever I order a breach, they all clap me because they all know who I am. They all go, oh, my food's here. Oh, thank you. But also, shit doorbell.

Where's the other ding? They usually go ding, ding. Oh, yeah. Hold on. Oh, maybe – hold on. Maybe we've got it wrong. Maybe it is someone who is at their retirement party and they're getting to the top of the elevator and the door's open and everyone's waiting for them.

Or it sounds like they've just turned the Fasten seatbelt sign on on a flight. And for some reason that made people really happy. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. You know what else it sounds like? We love safety. You know what it sounds like? The Wheel of Fortune when they go, can I have an F?

Is there an F? Yes, there's an F. Oh, my God. Actually, is that it? Is that what it is? It, there's an F. Oh, my God. Is that it? Is that what it is? It just says dong plus applause. I actually think that's it. I think you figured it out.

Because you know how the wheel, not the wheel of fortune, it's the, is it the wheel of fortune? No, the one where they turn. Yeah, the letters and they turn it around. I don't know. And they go ding. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

We just reverse engineered the sound effect. Well, this just makes even less sense that you keep using it if it's Wheel of Fortune. Let's do it again and just get... Who's making that sound? What person? Up to today. I said I had a feeling it was going to be a good episode.

Sorry. Don't bombard me with sound effects. All right. I'm going to put this listing up. Sorry. Jesus. By the way, Anthony Darling, we didn't say it, but your voice message is being played on the show. That counts for a prize for sure. Sorry. Jesus. By the way, Anthony, darling, we didn't say it, but your voice message is being played on the show.

That counts for a prize for sure. Absolutely. I'll guide you. Absolutely. Hit us up. Also, Anthony. And Anthony's all right. He's fine, right?

Health-wise? Yeah. He's got spirits and everything, so yeah, he's fine. Interesting. He should get lunch. He just has no spoof in his life anymore. That literally- He misses it a little bit, but he's grateful for the convenience.

You two should get lunch. That's literally your dream as the cum hater that you are, that you've self-expressed on this podcast many a time. I did say that in like 2019, by the way. You said that, yeah. Oh, has it changed? A girl can change. Oh.

People can change a lot in three years, Mitchell. True. You're so right. But you were very adamant about it. Remember the Coke bottle in here and it went viral on TikTok? You fizzed up the Coke bottle? Oh, yeah, it's kind of scary. Well, I just, there's a time and a place for jizz.

I still get the ick when people say things like Anthony did where he says, I love playing with the gooeyness and the ick, the stickiness. Like that, that's not cute when you point it out. But sometimes in the moment you're just like, all right. You know what? You just maybe hadn't had the right person's cum. It's so true because when I point it out, but sometimes in the moment you're just like, alright. You know what? You just maybe hadn't had the right person's cum. It's so true because when

I think about it, I was repulsed by cum when I wasn't overly fond of the people that it was coming in. Yes, yes. And now that you know It's been three years since I went on that rant. Things have changed. Well, you've got feelings for someone now. Sorry, I'm just saying, when you have feelings for someone, then you like all parts

of them and all textures of them. Oh, that's beautiful. It is beautiful. Don't bring up the texture. Anthony was very texture orientated. I just like that you've changed your tune. I did get it in my hair the other day. Was it on your head?

You never know. Yeah, it's the hair on my head. Oh, good, good, good. Because I've got hairy toes and sometimes. Well, there's a lot. Anyway,. Oh, good, good, good. Because I've got hairy toes and sometimes. Well, there's a lot. Anyway. Because I can't do it standing up. That is so foul to picture.

Don't say that. Spoof tangled in your toenails. What the fuck's wrong with you? Oh, my God. And you kiss Hayden goodnight with that mouth, do you? Filthy arsehole. Congratulations on appreciating that it can be a delicacy. It's not like I go about my day thinking about it.

No, no. But, yeah, no. Well, you know, I think we've really milked that for all it's worth. No pun intended again. Milked. God. Not that you hate it. I don't want to end our good Christian anniversary on that note.

Can I have some cake? Yeah, Mitch, where did you get this cake? It's phenomenal. I wish you didn't ask me because now I sound a bit non-cultured. Why? I just got it from the fucking IGA bakery. But the good bit, and Romeo's IGA is very highly regarded in the inner west. Oh, true, true.

Is it? Yes. Mine's Richie's. It's not just any IGA. But no, you know the bakery bit where they've got it behind the glass? Yeah. Yeah, I had to actually ask for it. So it's the deer one, not just some pov fucking supermarket caramel cake.

I'm not joking. It's one of the best caramel cakes I've ever had. Yeah. There's just something about it, isn't there? Thank you. I will say that the crumbs have good synergy. A normal Coles or Woolies mud cake, you take a bite and the crumbs just start falling off around you, but they're clinging on tight, Chook.

Oh, and this isn't fluffy. It almost tastes like flourless, like gluten-free maybe. Oh, that's not a good thing. You could have said anything nice and you said that. It almost tastes like the best part of the cake's removed. Hayden just sent me a photo. Out the front of our house they put a for sale sign. Why don't you just buy it?

2.3 mil. What? For that shack. 2.3 mil? No, you're right. If you're going to drop 2.3 mil, get a better one. I agree with you. It's a lot of money.

How sad, huh? I would love it if that happened to me, honestly, if I got evicted from my current apartment, because I've been wanting to move for fucking months. I'm looking at places, I'm going to inspections, and it's just slim pickings at the moment. It's hopeless. It's bad, isn't it?

Mm-hmm. It doesn't help when there's one more competitor in the rental market, Mitchell. Yeah, I know. Fucking bitch. Well, I'm hoping that the new owners of this house want it to be an investment as well and let us stay on. Oh, they could. To their best interest to just keep the same tenant.

They're probably going to kick you out before that can happen, though, before you can have that conversation. No, no, they're pretty good. They're saying we can stay until it sells. Oh, okay. Yeah, thank God. Then what are you moaning about? Well, I think what if it sells in two weeks and then we're fucked?

Yeah. Then there's a settlement period. But still, finding a house in six weeks or eight weeks, it's stressful. Oh, what is three years? Should we all get each other a three-year anniversary themed gift? Let me Google. Are there any traditions for like a third birthday or a third anniversary? That's what I'm looking at.

That's what I look. You go birthday. I'll go anniversary. Okay. Jenna's been made redundant. We can't trust her Googling anymore. All I've got is toys for three-year-olds. Free play kids disc ball.

Anniversary gifts. Best three-year ideas. Traditional and modern. Here we go. Best tradition. Oh, my God. Speaking of our last line of conversation, three-year anniversary gifts for her.

Look. Oh, dear. What is it? It's a pearl necklace. Well, you know, I'd be open to it. Not from you, obviously. Why not? Not from you. No, no, of course. Like I said, semen's only fine if you be open to it. Not from you, obviously. Why not? Not from you.

No, no, of course. Like I said, semen's only fine if you like the person it's coming from. Excuse you. I've got a very healthy semen. I've had three cocktails today, so it will be a bit sweet. Oh, sorry. Did you have to say that? No, I know.

I've ruined the mood. I've ruined the mood. Anyway, we hope this podcast made you feel 3% better. That's all. Just 3%. That's all we can ask. So we do. Good girls.

Should we up the percent for every year? That's cute. Oh, I love that. That's cute. Well, season four is almost wrapping up. That's fucked. I feel like we launched yesterday. I know.

And then season five will be 2023. Season five sounds big. We're going to have to get new cast members. Oh, my God. Shake things up. Oh, yes. Welcome them in. Maybe we should, just for drama and ratings, we should have a death.

Yeah. Don't look at me. No, Jenna's arranging it. It's fine. Oh, thanks. Send it to Sam. Kill him off. We can't off Sam.

Well, you can't off one of the Meeches. No, it's more impactful if it's a lead. Like, Claire McLeod dying, huge. No one would care if the fucking, I don't know, the random farmhand next door died. That's true. That's Sam, the random farmhand next door. Everyone wants to root.

No, because then it affects the host and you hear how much they're hurt, how cut up they are about it. Tess didn't seem that sad, did she? No, she was sad in one episode. The next episode got over it. Yeah, they just launched on into season five. Shit, all right. And she was the main character.

Do we have to die in real life or just audio based? No, real life. Okay. Yeah, we can't half-ass it. No. I mean, if you want to fake your death and go into witness protection, that's up to you. Maybe, maybe.

Because as you can see with the writers Jenna and I have decided it's you and I mean that's what Jodie did in McLeod's Daughters did she she did and how was her career after everyone thought she died that she was actually in witness protection imagine that if I just don't do one year of the show then come back come out of witness protection

you can't it's not safe there's so many people that want you dead so if they find out you're still alive, oh my god. They can brainstorm this off the cloud. Nah, we'll do it to you. I think it's important to discuss it here. You have to choose a new name, a new place to live, a new life, really.

If you're going into witness protection, what would it be? Oh god. I'd probably move to Europe. Really? Yeah. Paraguay. My name would be... Do you mean Paragu Yeah. Paraguay. My name would be... Do you mean Paraguay? Paraguay. Probably my name would be Palo.

Straight. But wouldn't you have to commit to an accent the whole time? Yeah, I'd do that. I think overseas is too obvious. Just go somewhere random in Australia that no one's going to look. No, I'd have to live. I'd speak like this. Palo.

From Paraguay. Yeah, but you don't know the language. I run a butter shop. While speaking English? Si. Butter, ma'am? No one would think that Mitch Chury is living in Paraguay making butter. Monday through Tuesday.

Close every other day. Because Catholic Protestant I'm very religious Anyway Anyway 3% Yeah Hope it makes you feel it

Yeah Why are you whispering like that? It's very creepy The alcohol's getting to my brain Oh dear Alright let's go Thank you for listening Happy 3 years

Here's to 3 more Here's to three more. Here's to three years, idiots. Thanks for listening. Leave us a five-star review. We'll see you in a week. Catch you then. Bye-bye.

Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.