Is It Just Me? - #127: Coombs In Charge

Episode Date: October 31, 2022

Coombs takes over the button-pressing and it's a bumpy ride.In this episode:Churi’s mental health (07:26)Coombs looks like a FELON (10:53)Year 12 Class of 2022 can’t catch a break (14:53)Aishlin Garnett from ‘Not My Cup of Tea’ tells us her cheeky scam (23:06)Lady Gaga’s ‘Blood & Cum’ Perfume (32:02)Talkback Tingz - Falling Asleep On Air (34:17)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (45:35)Get yourself a Season 4 mug: SHOP HEREHit us up @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Would you like to try a vape? Why would you take up something that is going to be addictive and expensive? I think for people... I'll tell you why. Yeah. Because you're young and stupid. Some things make more sense than others.

You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy and I just don't know how you figure that's going to happen when you're ordering a chocolate mousse. No. You know, I had it in the car on the way home and I didn't have a spoon. So I was like an armadillo trying to get ants out of a hole. Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Being fingered is an awful sensation.

You haven't been fingered by the right person. Goodness me. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of bitches. Hi, it's Jenna. Please don't forget to include my name in the opener this season. I'm sorry. Ta-da!

Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Well, hello you. Hi you. Welcome to the podcast. Guess what? I'm in charge today. Oh no, I don't like it already. Sounds like a witch.

I know. So Mitchell Chury over here came in and said that he's feeling particularly brain dead today. And I said, right, I'm stepping up. It's been years, but I'm pressing all the buttons. I'm on your side of the desk. It's just taking me back to my radio school days. I'm on your side too. God, everything sounds clearer here.

Just sitting here and doing jack shit. I wish I had your life. I have really been milking the last three years where I don't have to do all the button pressing shit. Oh my God, it's actually bliss. You can just focus on speaking. I know. I used to press the buttons for my old podcast, Little Not My Cup of Tea.

Speaking of which, Little Not My Cup of Tea reunion today. Aislinn, my old co-host, who's coming on with a story that I'm pretty sure you're going to enjoy because I know that you love a cheeky scam, don't you? Oh, I love a good scam, but an ethical scam when no one's harmed. Yeah, like saving a few bucks. That's what I'm talking. I'm not talking about insider trading. No.

You know Martha Stewart went to prison for insider trading? I don't know who that is. Martha Stewart? Famed chef. Our third wheel, prizekeeper Jen is here. She's a little bugsy talking about. You know Martha Stewart? famed chef. Our third wheel, Prize Keeper Jenna's here. She's a little bugsy talking about. You know Martha Stewart, the chef. Saying her name repeatedly is not going to help.

Martha Stewart. You know Martha Stewart. Get Google. Martha Stewart is a famed American chef. Oh, God. Jenna, why did we bother? No, I've got it. Get the mouse.

No, it's the wrong mouse. There's two mice. Oh, no, I'm using the right one. Oh. I know what I'm doing. Oh, yes, I see. I know the face. She went to prison for insider trading

and then came out and then became best friends with Snoop Dogg. What a wild story for a white woman chef. Yeah, so Aislinn's story is not quite that intense, but I did feel like, oh my god, I'm not gutsy enough to get away with what she got away with. We'll get to that a bit later on. Did it impress you?

Oh god, yeah. I didn't know she had it in her. But anyway, what else are we doing? Talk Back Tings. Yes. Yay. Finally. My favourite. Which has been voted by the listeners as their favourite segment.

So that's coming up a bit later on. Do you want me to do the bit where I say what we'd start the show with? No. Am I really taking charge? No, this could be a good test and I can send it to my neurologist and see if I'm nailing it. Someone messaged me, actually. I'll give them a shout-out.

And he said, I can always tell when it's going to be a bad brain day for Mitch because he stumbles on the intro. Yes, something you've noticed, something you hate or appreciate. Dylan said, oh, last week was one of the very best episodes. I think he's right. He says, you can tell by how chirpy he is and if it's going to be a bad brain day by his opening instructions to the show what an idjim is. He thinks he can tell.

Well, we start the show this same way every week with an is it just me each, something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. They're our idjims. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's. So total surprise.

Who wants to kick things off, darling? Why are we giving you props? I was meant to do the test. Well, you fucking got distracted. Yeah, I did. It's true. Sorry. Do you want, I was meant to do the test. Well, you fucking got distracted. Yeah, I did. It's true. Do you want, I can do a quick neurological test on you. Hayden has to do them to me to see if I'm stroking out.

Really? Yeah. Like a brain training thing? Yeah, you want to do one? It takes 10 seconds. Yeah, go on. Do it. Okay, so smile really big.

Now move the mic away so I can, yeah. Okay, cool. Now puff your cheeks up like this. Yep, good. Now raise both eyebrows. Yep, and now unpuff your cheeks and eyebrows up and down really quickly. Yeah, okay, good. All right, now get both hands.

Great podcast content. Get both hands and then push them together really hard. You can do it. Yep, great. All right, you're not having a stroke. Oh, thank God for that. Yeah, and you're speaking clearly. That's another one as well.

Yeah, I mean with a lisp, so, you know, I'm doing my best. Oh, my God, imagine if someone on the street went, Sir, you need to come with me. You're clearly having a stroke. No, I'm just gay and bitchy. Thank you very much. I did a brain training thing the other day and it was so frustrating. You know those things where you don't get it and you're trying to figure it out?

On a Nintendo DS? No, no, no, no. Just like a driving game. Do you want to do it? Yeah, sure. I'll try it on you, okay? Sure, sure, sure. Right, we're going on a camping trip, Mitchell.

I'm allowed to bring a mattress. What are you going to bring? A chair. No, you're not allowed to bring a chair. What are you going to bring? A chair. No, you're not allowed to bring a chair. What are you bringing, Jenna? A bag. No, you're not allowed to bring a bag. You're going camping, you said.

Yeah. And I'm allowed to bring a mattress. I might bring marshmallows as well. I'm allowed to bring them. Oh, then I'll simply bring a magpie. Yeah, you're allowed to bring a magpie. You're allowed to bring a magpie. Jenna, what are you going to bring?

Can I bring a rug? No, you're not allowed to bring a rug. No, like a Persian rug. You're also not allowed to bring a Persian rug. She doesn't get it. Yes, what are you going to bring? Can I bring a rug? No, you're not allowed to bring a rug. No, like a Persian rug. You're also not allowed to bring a Persian rug. She doesn't get it. Yes, I do. A lollipop stand. No, you're not allowed to bring that.

Jenna, come on. Get it. A python. So you've just said that you get it. What do you think it is? When you say something that you wouldn't bring. No, there's a reason I'm rejecting it. Mitchell, what else are you going to bring?

I'm going to bring a mathematician. Yeah, you're allowed to bring that. Yeah, great. He's hot. A moth. You're not allowed to bring a moth. Actually, I might bring a moth. I'm allowed.

You can bring a moth? Mm-hmm. Okay. Do I have the same name, Dickhead? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it, got it. I'll bring a jellyfish. You're allowed to bring a jellyfish.

There you go. The thing has to start with the same first letter as your name. Got it. There we go. There we go. I can't believe Jenna was the same first letter as your name. Got it. There we go. I can't believe Jenna was the one that didn't get it. She's meant to be the smart university educated one. You're the only one with a university degree? Well, the one that she finished.

I didn't finish mine. Did you not finish? Yeah, didn't we both drop out? Yes. Dropped out to pursue theatre in New York, then dropped out of that. Fucking hell. I didn't know you dropped out of that too. Well, I had half a degree, came back, went to save up more money to return to finish

it and got a job at Kiss and the rest is history. Now here we are. Here we are. I literally still have Atlantic Acting School asking when I'm coming back to do my Bachelor of Arts. Oh my God. They said we won't add you to the alumni on the website. You could have been in Book of Mormon by now.

Yeah. You never know. I could have been the book. Mitch, we've got my manager. Mitch, we've got an exciting role for you. Yes. Book of Mormon. I could have been the book. Mitch, we've got, my manager, Mitch, we've got an exciting role for you. Yes. Book of Mormon. Yes. You're the book. Oh, Mitch. Yeah, hi. We've cast you in Cinderella. Oh, who am I playing?

You're playing the pumpkin style coach. Oh, but it turns from a normal, so only a short role. Because it's originally a normal coach. Is it? Yeah. And then it flips at midnight. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. It's been a while since I've seen Cinderella. I'm actually seeing it this week. In where? In Sydney. In stage?

Yeah, it's at Lyric Theatre. How would they do that on stage? I don't know. I haven't seen it yet. Good call of you, Jenny. You like your musicals. I haven't seen Cinderella on stage. I'm going to Moulin Rouge for our anniversary. Oh, it's very good. I hope Hayden doesn't listen. Oh well. They'll leave it in. He won't listen anyway. We're going to Moulin Rouge for our anniversary. Oh, it's very good. I hope Hayden doesn't listen. Oh, well.

Oh, well. Leave it in. He won't listen anyway. We're going to Moulin Rouge. Gorgeous. I have heard rave reviews. I really should get tickets, shouldn't I? Yeah, you definitely should.

All right, let's start the show. We can talk about this later. Hey, I make that call. I'm in charge today. I'm just sitting back, relaxed. All right, let's kick it off. Who's going to go first? But there is just me.

Oh, dear. I don't even think I've got one yet. Well, spit it out. Who's going to go first? But there is just me. Oh, dear. I don't even think I've got one yet. Well, spit it out. Is it just me or? Is mental health important? Just you. I think it's bullshit. I don't believe in it.

I don't have a mental health. I don't have a solid idiom. But I'll tell you what, I'm going through my brain stuff at the moment. It really is. Jenna's so right jenna said to me before we started recording how your mental health can actually manifest and fuck off your physical health true yeah totally and it's not necessarily one given thing that makes you struggle it can be accumulative oh truly and like i'm telling you like you get you your brain is so powerful it can fuck your your entire body. If you've not been one, I've been quite resistant to talking to someone.

As in a therapist? Yeah, a therapist or even telling people, oh, I feel like I'm struggling. But recently I felt so empowered by talking to people and friends and you guys and my loved ones about how I'm feeling. And it's made me feel substantially better. Definitely. A lot of my issues are physically neurological, like actual neurological issues and the condition I have, but I'm telling you now, my mental health is playing into that.

Yes, they all feed into each other because then you worry about your health and then the anxiety manifests. Oh, my God, and the racing thoughts, the thoughts are far out. It's insane. So if you are ever like me, I know a lot of our listeners aren't and they're very in touch with all that, which is great. But just go and get checked or talk to someone. There's no shame in it.

It's great. Mitch did have to write my referral letter to my new therapist. Yes, I kept pestering you saying, I've given you Patrick Sumba. He's my therapist. He's gorgeous. And I said, have you bloody reached out yet? Have you reached out to Patrick? No, no, no. And because I'm over on your side of the desk today and you left your emails open, I just wrote up an email. I wrote it

on your behalf and I was like, all right, do I have permission to send this? I'm sending it. Boom. I've forced you into therapy. How easy is that? Mitch goes, well, do you want to be my PA? I can charge you 20 bucks an hour. Mitch goes, 20 bucks an hour? I earned more at McDonald's, mate. Really? Actually, no. Is that a shit wage?

Well, it's not ideal. It's not nothing. It's just above minimum. What is minimum wage these days? Isn't it like 17 or something? Get out. It also depends on your age, I think. True, true.

I swear to God, when I first started at Macca's, when I was 14, it was like $9 an hour. You know Macca's hire kids for that reason, right? Yeah, of course. The older I got, the less shifts I was getting. Weird. Are you kidding me? I never kid. When do I kid?

Yeah, true. Famously very dry. Never kids. That really is unethical. It also came out in Coles. They love Coles. There's always 60 plus. Yeah, they love the older demographic.

They love the oldies because they're so dedicated. Oh, that's so true. Every Coles has a Helen. Oh my God. Yes, I have a Helen. My Coles that I work with, worked at, fuck me, I got a haircut yesterday next to the Coles I used to work at. There we go.

Oh, really? Yeah, and, like, I can't walk past it. They go crazy. Oh, really? Faith leaves the self-checkout area to come and help me. And I go, Faith, you get back in there because you are in control of that self-checkout. Don't let anyone steal.

Are we ready for mine? Is it just me or have you got more to add about mental health? No, mine was sort of a potluck. You know when you get like a mixed bag? Yeah. Mine was a lucky dip, Ijum. I will quickly add because it's a lucky dip, inflation at the moment. God, it's bad.

13, 11, 14 is the lifeline number if you need immediate help. Yes, of course, of course. Oh, I will say 7-Eleven petrol tracker. Fuck, it's good. Is it? Yeah, you lock your prices in. Well, my ID is actually servo related. Oh, great.

Well, that is great. So let's dive right in. Go for it. Is it just me or... Do I look like a law-abiding citizen to you? Would you be suspicious of me if I walked into your establishment? No, not at all. No, I wouldn't.

No. You wouldn't be? No. No way. So I do look like a law abiding citizen. Yeah. Thank you. Because I went to the servo yesterday and the guy was so sus on me, right? I was on the way to a friend's birthday dinner. You know those gift bags, if you can't be

fucked wrapping a present, you just chuck it in a bag. Love it. I've got a pile of bags at home just in case I ever need it. And so I was going to the dinner, grabbed a bag, went to the servo, got a couple of packets of mint slice because that's a favourite, my friend. Oh, cute. And I was paying for it at the counter. They're like, what about that bag, mate?

And I'm like, what about the bag? And he goes, are you going to pay for that too? And I was like, I brought it with me, arsehole. And he's like, you sure about that? And I'm like, he does not want to push me too far. I'll go full Bogengate on this fucking asshole. Oh my God. I was like, you don't even sell gift bags here, idiot.

Did you actually say that? No, not quite. Not quite. But he did at one point go, oh, well, then why don't I check the security cameras to make sure that it was in your hand when you walked in? No. And I said, go right ahead.

And he goes, all right, you wait there. And I said, no, I'm that confident that I've done nothing wrong. I'm leaving right now. And if I'm wrong and you actually do spot that I stole it in here, call the cops if you need to. Do what you need to do. Like he was just one of those customer service people that like the power would go into his head.

He was taking it so seriously. I'm like, relax, brother. Yeah, I know. And you know what really irks me about that shit? Like, mate, you're working for a mega corporation. They would not hesitate to fire you in a heartbeat. Don't put your neck out. Also, you could, not that you are, but he could have said that to the wrong person on the wrong day and they could have shot him in the face.

You know? I do carry a small blade with me at all times. He's lucky I didn't shiv him in the fucking kidneys, the dog. Both of them. But what's the point? Maybe he was having a bad day. I don't know. Yeah, but that's no excuse.

I'm sorry. Like, even if he thought you did steal it, he could have at least approached it in a different way. Why you? What about the bag? What are you wearing? Similar to what I'm wearing now, really. Just like a casual.

You're just wearing an inmate outfit. I've got a huge backpack on and I'm wearing a huge Hells Angels bikey gang leather jacket on. Yeah, and that's what I'm wearing. I don't know what the problem was. I was wearing my usual leather knuckle dusters and my gold grills. I just went in there in my Edward Scissorhands cosplay with all my knives. Edward Scissorhands cosplay with all my knives. Edward Scissorhands.

What an idiot. I've had experiences like that. Just with retail workers, you go, mate, come on. We're the same. We're friends. I know. What are you doing? Like, they're such sticklers for the rules.

And it's like, get a life, bitch. Like, the people at Macca's who, if you say to them after the fact, oh, can I grab a sweet and sour sauce? I'm like, that'll be 50 cents. Yeah, I know. Throw a brother a sauce, babes. It's fine. That happened to me last night.

You know what? Last night I actually got 24 nuggets. For me and Hayden, I take them home. And they gave me the full strength Coke because I had a sip. And it's 10 o'clock. I can't have a full strength Coke. I won't sleep. So I go, oh, this is full strength.

He went, well, that's what you ordered. And I went, no, I actually ordered a diet Coke. He went, well, it says here Coke. I'm like, well Well rewind the tapes. Really like do you think I'm like like is this a game? Just do it. You know what I mean? I don't get it.

I don't know. The customer's always right. Yes. That's what they say. What happened to that? The customer's always right although the customer is also very rude. My Alma like oh my God she does not hesitate to be very rude. Like I'm not encouraging people to be Karens

because that's so... Have you ever been present when someone you're with is being a Karen? It's so humiliating. It's so embarrassing. I just kind of bury my face in my hand like, oh, I'm not with them. I'm not with them. I swear to God. Everyone just needs to go easy on each other. No being Karens to customer service, but also customer service, don't be dogs.

Yes, amen. And accuse me of theft. A fucking $3 gift bag. I'm good for it't be dogs. Yes, amen. And accuse me of theft. A fucking $3 gift bag. I'm good for it, bub. It's fine. Where is it? There we go. Is it just me? That's enough of these two.

Now let's hear, and is it just you? Okey-doke, let's hear what one of our idiots has to say. And is it just me of their own? And if they do hear themselves on the podcast, they can hit up Price Keeper Jenna for a prize. Yep. I've seen in the DMs, Jenna, there's a couple that have been neglected. People are claiming their prize and no reply. Yes, I...

Step it up, bitch. I'll take your job too. No, they've actually been coming through my personal Instagram. Really? Oh, is that better? Well, yes, because at the moment I've kind of lost access to Instagram. What do you mean? To the couple of Mitch's account. Yes. How long

has this been going on? About five days. Oh, okay. Oh, that's not that bad. I thought she was going to be like four months worth of prize keeping. No, of course not. No, I'm a dedicated prize woman. Were you the security alert that Mitch and I got on that weekend the other day and I freaked out and thought we were being hacked?

Yes, it would have been me. No, that was me because one of my contacts at Instagram has been hassling me for months saying, you need to add two-factor authentication to the couple of Mitch's account. And I was like, fine, I'll do it. But then everyone got logged out. Sorry about that. Oh, okay, that explains it. It freaked me out after the hacking of Hayden. It was perilously close to the Optus breach.

And you're like, oh, it's happening to us. They took down Optus and now they're coming for someone even larger, an even bigger corporation, the couple of Mitch's Instagram. Optus was just an entree to the mega hack. That is the couple of Mitch's Instagram. All right. Who are we going to hear from today? Is it just you?

It's a live call, Mitch. Oh, is it? Yeah, you're going to have to make that happen. Oh, I probably should have done that off the cloud. Yeah, you know how to do it. No, it doesn't matter. It's in the phone system. We're warts and all podcasts are in here.

Normally you can. Give me a number. I'm holding it up. Okay, hold on. Talk amongst yourselves. No, okay, sorry. Well, I can give you a little. Her name is, it's a lovely name, Jembe.

That's a nice name. It's a nice name. Yeah, Jembe, yeah. So it's actually D-J-E-M-B-E, but it's pronounced lovely name, Jembe. That's a nice name. It's a nice name. Yeah, Jembe, yeah. So it's actually D-J-E-M-B-E, but it's pronounced Dem-J. Oh, I like that. Is that her actual name? Jembe, yes. All right, okay.

Well, I'm giving her a ring now. I like unique names. And she's got an idjim of her own. Hey. Hello, is that De-Jemba or whatever? Jembe. Oh, there we go. You actually got it. They thought I was wrong, Gemba.

I thought it was a stage name, like DJ Ember or something. No, I literally was like, people always get it wrong. I'll type a text so that you know how to say it. She phonetically wrote it out for me. Oh, okay. Gemba. Gemba, what's your ethnicity or what's the history behind Gemba? Well, I am the whitest person you'll ever meet.

I did notice that. My parents had really common names and they hated it. So they were like, we're going to give our kids really unique names. Yeah, they're like, fuck Rebecca, Jenga. We don't want any Emmas in this house. That's funny. That's like Hayden, my partner. His mum named him Hayden but spelled it H-A-Y-D-N purely because she's like, he'll stand out.

I hate it. What, the spelling of Hayden? Thanks a lot. Dembe, whatever your name is. Yeah, I hate that one because it makes coffee shops so awkward. So I have like a fake name. Oh, my God. I had a friend that did that.

Her name was Mireille but it was spelled Mireille. So every time she got coffee, it was Sarah. She couldn't be fucked explaining it's French. Yeah. God, I'm Lily. I'm always like, yep. Lily. It's easy.

I always do a joke name to make someone, whoever I'm with, laugh, but then I forget what my name is. Carolina. I'm like, fuck, was that me? It was I, Frank. Seriously, it happens all the time. Anyway, Julie, what is your, is it just me? Brad's going to count you in, he's done his little Is It Just Me

or you finish the sentence. Okay, Jenga? All right. Got it. Here we go. Is it just me or? Can the class of 2022 not catch a goddamn break? Oh, dear.

Are you in year 12? Yes. What's happening? Because it's HSC Are you in year 12? Yes. What's happening? Because it's HSC at the moment, right? Yeah, well, because we started off with the bushfires when end of year 9, start of year 10. Then COVID for two years. And now I'm bloody flooded.

Oh, whereabouts are you? Because I'm Northern Victoria. Oh, shit. Oh, no, it's bad then. And so what, do they make you do the exams from home or something? No, it was just that we missed all of our muck-up day. We didn't have the last five days of school. That's the best part.

And then I just had my English exam. Oh, how do you reckon you went? Oh, God, horribly. What's your area of study? Belonging or some shit? Yeah, what's the key word? God, no, it's like leadership. Oh, God.

You should have called us. We could have given you a lesson. You poor thing, though. That's rough. Yeah, that's terrible. Yeah, it's a cursed year. Have you got uni acceptance yet? Like, have you found out what you're doing next year?

No, they're not until, like, end of December. Oh, can I just say that this little pocket right now, October until March next year when uni actually starts, if that's your plan, I don't know. Oh, these few months are so good. I loved it. Once exams were over and I just had fuck all to do, it was glorious. I think I was drunk the whole time. Yeah, yeah.

I was on a fridge to fridge for about three days straight after my exams. What the fuck's that? It's where you nominate four or five people's houses that live in the area and they all open their fridge and you get all bikes or scooters and and you go from fridge to fridge, and you get progressively drunker. Oh, that sounds right up my alley. You love a fridge to fridge. Some people on rollerblades, scooters, ripsticks, green machines. So is that your last exam, or have you got more to go?

I've got six more. Six? Oh, dear. Oh, my God, what are they? I've got psychology. I've got six more. Six? Oh, dear. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. What are they? I've got psychology. I've got two maths exams. I've got two music exams and literature. Oh, my God.

I didn't know that psychology was a high school subject. Yeah. That could have saved me a world of pain, a lot of money, if I just learned it myself. Everyone joins it being like, oh, we're going to learn about our diagnoses. And then it's literally like sleep, diet, boring things like that. Oh, the essentials.

Do you get an ATAR in Queensland? What happens with your score? Victoria. In Victoria. Didn't you say final of Queensland? Northern Victoria. Are we still doing the podcast? What's her name?

No. It's Jakuba. No, Jakuba is a dress store. Now, what do you get in Victoria? Do you get a score? Yeah, we get the ATAR. Oh, your music subject is going to drag your ATAR down, bitch. Oh, my drama.

Listen, I got a band six, but I still got a 69 ATAR and a slap on the wrist from Mrs. Menos. I had a shit run. That's going to fuck you up. Oh, God, yeah. That and, like, because we have, like, the lowest maths is the one that I'm doing, so that's going to drag me down, too, and literature. I literally just opted out.

I didn't even get an ATAR. I was like, what? I don't know. It won't hurt me. Oh, did you not get one? I think they called it non-matriculating or something. I was like, yeah, I'll just tap out. I don't need one.

Good for you. Look how far I've come. Oh, fuck the ATAR. Jenny, you would have done very well, I'd suspect. 95 was like, yeah, I'll just tap out. I don't need one. Good for you. Look how far I've come. Oh, fuck the ATAR. Jenny, you would have done very well, I'd suspect. 95. Oh, shut up. What are you going to do at uni, Gemba? Is that your plan?

Yeah, I'm hoping to go into art history. Sorry, I just suddenly felt really tired. Stop. Is that the history of art or? Yes. No, it's actually the history of trains, but, you know... Okay, very funny, Jembae. That's a good one.

Get your prize with Prizekeeper Jenna and rack off. She's doing an art history to get her forklift license. Forget it. Anyway, Jembae, look, we wish you all the best

with your exams, okay? Oh, thanks. Good luck, Chalkin. No worries. See you, Jembae. Get in touch with Prizekeeper Jenna. Get yourself your prize. Will do. Bye, guys. Thanks, Jembae. How do I fucking hang up? Oh, shit, she. No worries. See you, Jambay. Get in touch with Pricekeeper Jenna. Get yourself your prize. Will do.

Bye, guys. Thanks, Jambay. How do I fucking hang up? Oh, shit. She's still there. Just press the... Oh, no. I think she took the hint.

She's hung up. Never mind. Oh, she's gone. Oh, well. She's gone. Lovely girl. I am feeling a lot of power on this side of the desk. Should I just answer these random calls?

Take one, yeah. Yeah, do it. Hey, it's Keith. What's your name? My name is Winita. Oh, sorry to hear that. All right. She's gone.

That was fun. Hang up from her. I don't think they're doing any contests at this time, are they? So what was Windex calling for? That's the name of my hairdresser. What? Windex. No, Winita. Anyway, don't forget, if you want to get an is it just you on the show, you can hit us up

on Instagram at couple of Mitches. Alright, now Mitchell, I reckon you're going to enjoy this, what we're about to do. Is it just you on the show? You can hit us up on Instagram at couple of Mitches. All right. Now, Mitchell, I reckon you're going to enjoy this, what we're about to do, because I know you love haggling. Yeah. Oh, I do. Who doesn't? On Facebook Marketplace.

Negotiating, I'd say. Real life marketplaces. Yeah. And do you love a cheeky scam? Oh. Like getting away with a freebie. That's what I'm talking about. Oh, all the time.

I would never scam anyone, but I love it. I love a two for one as well Oh, all the time. I would never scam anyone, but I love a two for one as well. Baker's Delight. I don't need two, but I'll buy two. Just like a sly little freebie, okay? But what you're about to hear, can I just say, this is so brazen. I would not be game enough to do what you're about to hear. Yeah. I'm not ballsy enough to do this.

So anyone who listened to my old podcast, Not My Cup of Tea, you'd remember Aislinn Garnett, of course, my old co-host. I don't even gag anymore. She's such an angel in my eyes that she doesn't deserve to be gagged at. Good. Well, she's on the line now. I'm glad you think that. Oh, shit.

Hi, honey. Hi, honey. Hello. Now, tell us, what's this cheeky scam of yours? I was blown away when she told me. What have you done? Well, just the preface, I prefer Mastermind versus Scammer. Okay.

That's going to be real. Nice. Please play Mastermind by Taylor Swift in the background the whole time I prefer Mastermind versus Scammer. Okay. That's going to be real. That's nice. Please play Mastermind by Taylor Swift in the background the whole time I'm speaking. Yeah, no worries. And I am a Sagittarius, so I do have my reasons for this. So basically what happened was a few years ago, I failed about like 25. It was in 2019.

So you were old enough to know better. Yeah, I was old enough to know better, unfortunately. What is this? I was 25 years old. Yeah. So I was at a party had a bit much to drink I'm definitely the kind of girly who like no matter what time of night it is I will go back to my house like I don't want to be around other people I will go home she slept on my couch last weekend I was gonna say I fell asleep on the couch in some rando at the party I woke up the next day just feeling absolutely foul.

And it was like 8 a.m. Like birds were chirping. And I was like, I can't stay here. I don't know these people well enough to just like sit here and have brekkies. So I got up and then I grabbed like a loose green bag that was around, grabbed a packet of shapes and a bottle of tequila. It doesn't in there. That's not the only freebie.

None of which you brought. You were thieving these items. No, no, I drank all my drinks. Okay. And then, like, in my opinion, you know, like, eat the rich. Like, they had, like, at least multiples of the same things. I've got no money. Like, I can do what I want.

So I grabbed that. I'm heading home. I'm, like, checking my maps maps and I'm like, all right, it's going to take two buses. I need to get a bus to Broadway. And local Sydney people will know, Broadway Shopping Centre. I get all the way to Broadway and then I get off the bus and I think, oh, I need to go grocery shopping.

If I go home first, I'm not going to end up doing it because I'm going to walk up the road. I might as well do it on here. I might as well do it out. I do that. I'm like, I'm out of the house once a day. I'm going to do it all while I'm out. Yeah.

And like, let me tell you, I looked decrepit. Like I was mortal. Like closed from the night before. I'm like, I'm out of the house once a day. I'm going to do it all while I'm out. Yeah. And like, let me tell you, I looked decrepit. Like I was mortal. Like closed from the night before. I'm like limping around broader, like bug eyes. Like the lights are too bright. So I decided to go to the cinema. And again, I have no money. What?

Like I'm always overdraft at this point. It's like paydays in two days. She's got nothing. Got it. Okay. Can't transfer out of the savings. It's a weekend. Have you showered since?

No. This is still from the day. Okay. But also, I showered before I went to the party. So't transfer out of the savings. It's a weekend. Have you showered since? No, this is still from the day. Okay. But also, I showered before I went to the party, so it's only been 12 hours. I'm not shaming. I'm just painting a picture. So you decided to go to the movies.

Okay. Yes. So I go to the movies. I have no money. So what I do is I walk up to the ticket man, and I put on my scam face. I come up with a little story. I'm like, there's no holes in this one.

I was like, hey, so sorry. Can you tell me what cinema Aladdin is playing in? I'm mentally meeting my mom. I keep telling her to send me a screenshot of the tickets. She's like 50 years old. She can't figure it out. I'm so sorry. And he was like, no, yeah, that's all good.

It's in the cinema five. And he just let me go through. And I was like, play. Okay. Oh, my God. I just walk on in. I was like, well, I'm in here. So I can stay for as long as I want now. I go see Aladdin. I walk out. I'm like, I'm not ready to go home. I just walk on in. I was like, well, I'm in here, so I can stay for as long as I want now.

I go see Aladdin. I walk out. I'm like, I'm not ready to go home. I'm feeling crap. I might go see another movie. I'm like, what else is on? I'm pottering around. Oh, Booksmart.

Walked in. I was like, great, another flick. You're already past the ticket man, as you said, so no one is checking these tickets when you go into the other movies. No, so once you're in there, you're in. So I've seen a second movie. I see a poster and I find out you can get a free refill of large popcorn if you're a Hoyts Rewards member.

I'm not a Hoyts Rewards member. I download Hoyts Rewards right then and there. I don't have a large popcorn, so I pull a large popcorn out of the bin. I walk up to the man with my new Hoyts Rewards thing. I was like, hey, can I get a refill of this? But also I accidentally spilled soda on it. Can you get me a new box, stick. And I was like, hey, can I get a refill of this? But also I accidentally spilled soda on it. Can you get me a new box, please? And he was like, yeah, sure.

He hands me a large cup of one. Off I go. Third movie. That was the third movie once, honestly. I fell asleep during it. I think it was some sort of Marvel flick. Yep, end game maybe. And I remember catching the end of something else.

This was like a full day. Like, Aislinling's day out. The sudden set. Yeah. And then I left Broadway. It was probably like 7.30 p.m. at this point, because I was setting. I finish up the last of my tequila.

I go feed the ducks. And I just had a delightful walk home. What? And that was my whole day. And it was just brilliant. Also, I didn't pay for the bus either. I just love how well thought out it was, all the excuses. Like, I didn't pay for the bus either. I just love how well thought out it was, all the excuses. Like,

oh, I spilled soda on this box. Can you give me a new box? Say anything with confidence and people believe you. Would you not do it now? Do you feel like you're too old for this? She's rich now. I feel like if I did it now, I'd do it for one movie and I probably wouldn't steal the tequila

nor the box of shapes. That was a bit dodgy. I feel bad it for one movie and I probably wouldn't steal the tequila, nor the box of shapes. That was a bit Dodge. I feel bad about that one. The random house party. Everything else, nah, could not care. Like stealing from major corporations, whatever. They'll be fine. Eat the rich.

Wow. This is what I mean. Like, you can never go back there now. So you're fucked. Oh, Christ. All right, well, where are we going to go then, girls? Who knows? Who knows?

Prison, by the sounds of things. No one will take us. No prison will take you because you'll sneak out. You'll escape. It's like you're like Alcatraz in the 60s. You're too simple. I could talk my way out of prison, like, clearly. Yeah.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I think someone sent you the wrong paperwork. I'm not actually meant to be here. They sent you a screenshot of the wrong girl. I don't know if that would work. Anyway, good luck behind bars, Darlene. You've just confessed on the record. Thanks, honey.

We love you. See ya. That was amazing. Bye-bye. What a star. I know. Can you top that? Any cheeky scams?

Yeah, there's one I'm doing at the moment. Actually, I've done my whole life. But I've told Hayden, I'm like, I should talk about this on the podcast. He said, don't because if it gets out, it'll ruin it for you. But we're here now. I know. I think I'm ready to admit it. Yeah.

Okay. So this is a scam that I've been doing since I've been driving. So we've had our license for what? 10 years now. Really? Shit. That's right. Yeah.

Sad. 17. So 27. Yeah. 10 years. Jenna, of course. Yeah. Anyway, when you are in a parking station a big one oh my god you've

told me about this and this ties in with what ashlyn said if you say anything with confidence they'll believe you what you do is you don't worry about how long you shop you spend as long as you need you buy what you want don't worry about validating your ticket anywhere because you know how it's like two hours free and then after that actually jenna wouldn't know no i'll have to explain it to you yeah after like two hours or so, you have to start paying for the car park. Yeah. So go to your way out, get in your car, drive to the boom gate, and then what you want to do is you want to press the phone button

and ask for help. Oh, my God. And this is exactly what you do. Ready? Ring, ring, ring, ring. Hello, Wilson. Hi, mate. Sorry.

Listen, I've just paid in cash at the booth on level three and it's now asking me to pay $20, but've just paid in cash at the booth on level three and it's now asking me to pay $20, but I just paid cash just now. Yeah, cash. Oh, thank you so much, buddy. Boomgate opens. Oh my god. Every single time.

Every time. Oh my god. But then you also be like, oh, sorry about this, mate. Like, you gotta get on their side. I'm so sorry. I paid cash. Babe, did we pay cash? No, we paid cash. Yeah, oh, sorry about this, mate. Like, you've got to get on their side. Yeah, I'm so sorry. Hayden, did we pay cash? No, we paid cash. Yeah, but it was $40, but now it says $20. Like, you just add details.

That is impressive. See, I love an innocent little scam like that. I'd like to hear more if people slide into my DMs at couple of Mitches. We'll get more on the podcast next week. I don't want to hear, like, full-on felonies. I don't want to hear, like, illegal shit. Just a cheeky scam that you're like, like whenever I was using the self-serve checkout when I was a poor uni student, I realised that chapsticks weigh fuck all.

So you can throw that straight in the bag and it won't say unexpected item in the bagging area. Oh, I didn't know that. So yeah, I was just getting free chapsticks for ages without scanning them. I just chucked them in because they're light enough. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I do the classic. Everything's an imperial Mandarin in my shop.

Hayden loves mangoes, but we just get a lot of Imperial Mandarin. Yeah. Don't, if you're a criminal, please don't hit us up. Hi, Mitch and Mitch. For years, I've been taking the superannuation of retired veterans. Sorry. That was mine. That was sent in from Jenna.

Yeah. AJ Rochester calls in and goes i scammed the single mother's pension and got fired from the biggest loser for it my god imagine that please don't anyway yes we want to hear more like cheeky little scams at couple of mitches we'll get more on the podcast next week is it just me listening on spot, don't forget to leave a five-star rating. You're listening to Is It Just Me? By the way, before we move on, can I just say that last week we were talking about that Lady Gaga perfume.

Fame. Yes, fame. And she tried to emulate the smell of blood and cum in this perfume. I promised I'd bring it in and look, here it is. Oh, I saw that. I didn't know what it was. Show me. Do you want to give it a whiff? Hold on, perfume. I promised I'd bring it in and look, here it is. Oh, I saw that. I didn't know what it was. Show me. Do you want to give it a whiff?

Hold on. Yeah, I want to cleanse my palate. I've got some vitamins here. I'll smell them. No, they're Jackie O's prescription pills. Oh, really? Yeah. They're empty.

I help myself when I'm over there. Yeah, I was going to say. Fiji Carver. Yeah. No, no. I want to have a look at the bottle. I'll do a review. Now, the weird thing is that it's supposed to smell like blood and cum, which does sound

quite rancid, but it absolutely smells gorgeous. It's possibly my favorite fragrance. Here you go. Get a bottle feel. God, the bottle's gorgeous. It's a really pretty bottle. Oh, wow. Is it black or is it like a black current?

It's a black liquid, but when you spray it, you don't have to worry about your white shirts because, yeah, it comes out clear. Okay, here we go. Give it a whiff. What do you reckon? The blood and cum fragrance? What do you think? I'm not getting any blood or cum.

Oh, sorry to hear that. Jenna, you try. I'm sure there's pills for that. It's sweet. There's no blood. It's gorgeous. Nor cum. Jenna's going to get a headache

She said last week she can't handle fragrances Yeah, I'm doing one spray I did probably one too many What do you think? It's very chemist warehouse-like How very dare you Well, that's what Gaga said She said she wanted to encapsulate

Yes The Christy Swan slogan of She literally said in an interview She was doing press for the fragrance And she said I have a very interesting mind but I want to smell like a slut to be honest. Wow. That's incredible. Don't we all? Yeah.

A girl can dream. At the end of the day that's all we're trying for. That's right. Alright, should we dive into talkback team? Yay! Hold on, I think I'm getting cum. Oh no, you just did walk past me Jenna, didn't you? What? Oh, she's dripping again.

Shut up. That's revolting. That's disgusting. You started it. Yeah, it was true. I was more insinuating it was dried on the jacket or something. Oh, Christ. Not like currently dripping.

Anyway, yes, let's do Talk Back Tings. Yep, so Talk Back Tings is where we play the weird shit that occurs on Talk Back Radio because it's a fucking cesspool, isn't it? Yeah, it is never-ending. You get some weird characters calling through. It's a content machine, also from the hosts and from the listeners. The hosts, because you think about it, these poor fuckers have to fill so much time. Yeah, there's no songs, very few ad breaks often, especially at ABC.

But yeah, that's why they get so many odd characters calling through. And often when it's a really popular Talkback Radio station, you could be on hold for ages. often, especially at ABC. But yeah, that's why they get so many odd characters calling through. And often when it's a really popular talkback radio station, you could be on hold for ages. Like we have called talkback radio stations in this segment and we don't have to wait too long because we pick on the underdogs. We go for the less popular stations so that we don't have to wait too long.

But the really popular stations, you could be on hold for quite a while because there's, believe it or not, lots of people calling through. And over on 3AW, apparently one man was on hold so long that he just fell asleep. What? And so by the time they took his call, this is what they heard. John calls from South Australia. G'day, John.

Oh, no. John's been hanging on. It's been a good 20-odd minutes or so. And he's fallen asleep. We had the passing parade and the news and a break and another call. Oh, yeah, that's a big snore. I wonder if John's married. Oh.

Because I snore a bit like this. Actually, I fell asleep in the office yesterday afternoon. Like, I've got a door that shuts. And I'm just a little on the tired side, so I just lean back on the chair. It's still snoring. I lean back on the chair and put my feet up on the desk and I just close my eyes. I just get a little five-minute power nap

and then I wake myself up with a snore. Oh, you there, John? Yeah, mate. Yeah, g'day, mate. How are you? Not too bad, thanks. Sorry, I just didn't want to trip it off on one of those. Sorry about that. No, that's all right.

It happens at this time in the morning. Not a problem. I love that he stuck with it. Didn't move on to any other call. It's just stuck with the snoring. Poor thing. So he was snoring on the line for a total of 60 seconds. That's a long time before he finally went.

Now, what do we think the setup was? I was trying to picture that. Was the phone on his neck, on his lap, or was he in a Bluetooth head thing? I don't know. Maybe it was like a home phone and he just kind of had it tucked between his cheek and his shoulder. That's what I'm imagining. Sitting in his lazy boy. Why was he querying whether

or not he had a partner? I don't know. I think that was like heterosexual humour. Like, oh, my wife boils me to sleep. I wonder if he's married. I snore like that. Yeah, right, right. I wonder if he's married. Won't be for long. And so I was thinking that we should. I snore like that. Yeah, right, right. I wonder if he's married. Won't be for long. Free AW. And so I was thinking that we should try and beat that 60 seconds.

Yeah. We call a radio station and snore on the line, see how long it takes them to hang up. Similar to coughing fit chicken. Yeah. I think coughing fit chicken, but snoring fit chicken. Well, that's literally perfect for me. Coughing fit chicken, we had to stop for medical reasons

because I was coughing up my laugh. No, you literally just have a nap. No, I just sleep. It's perfect for me. Should we call a radio station? reasons because I was coughing up my laugh. No, you literally just have a nap. No, I just sleep. It's perfect for me. Should we call a radio station? Well, I don't know because I was thinking that not a lot of radio stations would stick with that call. If we're trying to beat the record, most radio stations would be like, okay, they're not

there and then move on. So maybe we should call someone else. Yeah. And also it's quite handy that you're feeling fucked in the head today because that will lend itself quite nicely to your character, Dot Wiggins. It will. She's senile at the best of times. She is.

Yeah, and that's perfect for your current state. She's here. She is here. Bring in Dot. Dot! Come on in, Dot. The 90-year-old alter ego of Mitch's. Come on in.

Come on in, Dot. Don't spill the lemonade. Dot, she spilled her Schweppes. Give her the Schweppes. She's diabetic. She can't have it. Hello, hello. Oh, God.

She's like, hello. Hi, Dot. Oh, it smells of common blood. What is that? That's the Lady Gaga perfume, Dot. Oh, absolutely delicious. It's been years. I have to purchase some of those.

Now it has. Let me tell you. Now, listen, Dot. More so blood. We're going to get you to purchase some of those. Now it has. Let me tell you. Now listen, Dot. I'm also blood. We're going to get you to make a phone call. And are you feeling a bit tired? Because you can just nod off if you want. Yes.

What time is it? Yes. My afternoon nap is right around the corner. Yeah. We haven't decided who we're going to call on your behalf, though, Dot. Mitchell, Cheery, come back. Yeah. Hi.

Who should we call instead of a radio station? What about our mate at TVSN? We called her a couple of weeks ago. We've done that. I feel like our number would be blocked. What if we were to call a sleep apnea clinic? Oh, because they'd have so much empathy. Of course.

They're used to it. In fact, this is probably a daily occurrence for a sleep apnea clinic. That'll definitely beat the 60 seconds. Okay. Or a sleep centre or a sleep study. I've had a sleep study done. They're very nice. Do we want

Peninsula Sleep Clinic or Sydney Sleep Centre? What do you think, Dot? I think Sydney Sleep Centre. Yes. Yeah, right. We'll give them a whirl. You want us to call number one?

No, I've pissed myself off. Shit. Okay, into the mic, Dot. Now, do you think she should talk first or Dot should? Yes, she should talk for a bit and then at some stage just doze off. Jenna, can you get your stopwatch ready and just once the snoring starts,

see if we can beat the 60 seconds. So I'm just going to, once Dot starts, she should continue snoring until she gets hung up on or should she wake up? Correct. That's right. Sorry, I'm just practicing. I've got to say, there's something to be said for your multitasking, because I'm trying to talk and dial the number at the same time and Google the fucking clinic.

Thank you. No wonder your brain's fucked. Thank you. Maybe that's why I'm twisted in the head. Okay. Especially because we don't pre-prepare this shit. No! We think of it spontaneously, and I'm like, Google this!

She's truly. Call this! Truly. Okay, here we go. Let's give this a whirl. Come up here. This one? Yes.

Good luck. Sydney Sleep Centre. Annabelle May speaking. Hello. Abominee? I'm sorry? Your name. Hello.

Abominee speaking. Oh, Annabelle. I'm so sorry, dear. I heard abominee or abomination. Sometimes. No. Oh, and I'm so sorry, dear. I heard abomination. Sometimes. No. Oh, no. My name is Josh Wiggins.

My GP has referred me to book in for an examination, a sleep examination. Sure, not a problem. Did they give you a referral? Yes, I'll have to check. Let me just check my... I'll just check my note. One second. Mm-hmm. Ladies and gentlemen,

how can I help you? Uh, no, I believe you could drop it off at any pathology. Thank you. Yeah, exactly. Was there a facility that she referred you to, or was it just a generic letter she gave you? Okay, not a problem. Yeah, drop it off at any pathology company with the letter,

and that should be totally fine. Okay. No worries. Have a great day. Are you there? I am indeed. Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't have the referral. I'm going to have to buzz you back, darling. All right, so if you contact your doctor and get the referral, all they

need to do is email it to us and then we can make you a booking. So the doctor needs to recite the referral before you can make you an appointment. Alright, thank you. Thank you, darling. Okay, beautiful. Thanks. Oh dear. She was too sweet. I couldn't. She was so nice. Did you hear her

mutter under her breath? Fuck. Did you? Yes. Okay, so. How long did I go? A minute, 47 seconds. Yeah, you definitely beat the 60 seconds. Where's the fucking winner sound effect over here? Come on, give me some.

Oh, that's a yoga bed. Oh, no, Mitchell. Green one. It should be green. Anything excitable is green. Elevator music is green. Yeah, it's my favourite. Yay!

I love this one. That's not a fucking winner sound effect. What else do I have? I can't find a bloody winner sound effect. Got a life on cut. No, no, I won't move on until I've found one. I'll just type in W-I-N-N-E-R. Yeah.

Bit out of practice. Sorry about this. No, you're totally right. No, it's all good. I actually need to get her details. I do need a sleep study, don't I? On top of everything. Yeah, have you had a sleep study before?

No. Someone watches you sleep the whole night with probes on. Oh, I couldn't do that. Yeah. I couldn't get to sleep. And then they think I've got real issues. No, they're in a, it's like a two-way glass thing. Like they, you don't, you can't watch.

Hang on. Shut up. Jenna, tell me the time again. How did I do? One minute, 47 seconds. Oh, we beat the record. That's when we give out cars. Close enough.

Very dubstep, isn't it? Also, is Dot still in here? No, she's still asleep on the floor. Turn the volume down. Shit. Oh, no. Hey, Dot. Must change my wheels.

Get out Oh she's dropped her sweats Get out Dot We're ending the show Alright See you Dot Bye girls Thanks for coming

Bye Okay we should get out of here What a mixed bag Dot Wiggins is featured We've got a criminal on the show Excuse me I'm in your chair I'm running the show

I decide if we're getting out of here Alright Oh yeah We should get out of here actually, yeah. Well said. For sure. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Is It Just Me, Idiots? Oh, it's an absolute pleasure. Were you talking to me? I said idiots.

Oh, well, I mean, you talking to me? Next week I'll be back. Don't worry, the show will be smooth and seamless as always. I'll be back in the captain's chair. Give me! I thought it was fine. I've actually quite liked sitting over here. We're almost done with Season 4, really. Maybe for Season 5

when we return, we shake things up a bit. No, I'll just keep covering it until your brain's better, so I'll just take over permanently. Okay, you could. That's really nice. It's good. I'm flexing my old muscles. I haven't used the panel for ages. Can you believe we're almost in Season 5? My God. I know. That's when some shows start to go used the panel for ages. Can you believe we're almost in season five? My God.

I know. That's when some shows start to go downhill, like TV shows. Season five, really? Or some get a second wind. Don't you think? Or no? Really? Do you reckon season five is when McLeod's daughter started going downhill, Jenna? Yep.

Yeah. Definitely season five. Breaking Bad season five was great. I think that was the end. But not us. We won't be going downhill. No. At all.

Only up from here it is. When will we ever up the hill? Yeah, good point. We're on a very flat cul-de-sac. Thank you for listening. We love you. Get in touch. Couple of mitches, et cetera, et cetera.

And we'll see you next week. Catch you then. You. See ya. See you. See you. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Proof. I should do that. No, no, no. You're so overworked. You just rest. Just rest up. Welcome to... Your shoulders look tense. Lean back. You're so overworked. You just rest. Just rest up. Welcome to ADD. Your shoulders look tense. Lean back. Do they? Yeah, relax your shoulders a bit.

There we go. I don't know how. Welcome to ADD Brief. Thanks. This is our secret segment on the end. We pretend the show is done and then we just talk shit here. Nothing's planned or anything. With that new thing that we say, hi you, we're addressing the one person listening.

Hello you. It does sound like you from Netflix. Have you seen it? Yeah, of course. But they don't say the word you. He does. In his monologue, he goes, hello you. It does sound like you from Netflix. Have you seen it? Yeah, of course. But they don't say the word you. He does. In his monologue, he goes, hello, you. And he kills them.

Oh. No, he calls them by their names. No, but in the monologue, he goes, I want you. He does. Joe Black. Well, do you remember a couple of weeks ago when you had an episode off? Yes. And then Sam and Jenna ditched me.

So it was literally just me. I ended the show by saying, thank you for sticking with me, dear listener. And then people wrote in the group saying that it felt like I was talking just to them. Oh, that's nice. And so it's more intimate. The room smells like common blood. I'm feeling intimate. Yeah.

It does smell. You know what? I think we should start saying you to the listeners. Thank you. Hey, you. That's what they say in radio school. You should never say guys. Hey, guys. That's what they say in radio school. You should never say guys. Hey, guys.

Which I don't necessarily agree with. I think it's fine. We say, hi, idiots. How are you? Yeah, truly. Yeah. Also, the whole point is don't say guys because it isolates people and makes it feel like you're not just talking to them.

What idiot thinks that commercial public radio is just for you? I'm sorry, but no. It's so nice that James Unamanda got on the wireless for me. Yeah, thanks for doing that. Just for me. You've got to be so naive. God, it's like thinking that fucking House of Cards was made and produced

at three million an episode for you. For you. Nobody else. So stupid. Plus, some of the best people in radio don't do that. They don't isolate the one listener and say, yes, you. They go, hello, world. I'm John Laws. Yeah, exactly. But I think we should do it regardless, even though we've just bad-mouthed it.

I think we should do it. We're not a radio show. Exactly. Although everyone thinks you are. We've got the big radio awards this weekend. When you say we. Sorry. It would actually be sad, Mitch, because you come every year because you've normally-

I've only been to one. Oh. Actually, two. I've been to two. I've only been to one. You beat me. I remember the first one you ever went to. We were working together.

I was there with you. I was a little twink. But we didn't know each other. But this wasn't the one we went to. I don't think I've been to one with you. I went 20. My first- We're talking about the Australian Commercial Radio Awards of you.

They are... They are like the Logies. They're the awards for the radio industry. Anyway, my first one was 2016. When? 2016. No, when did I ask? Fucking hell. Technically you did. I actually didn't.

No, you didn't. 2016 was my first. I'm obviously not going to this one because I was nominated for biggest loss to the industry as I told you. But what are you laughing at? Well, you, Bert Newton, Farlap are all nominated.

Two horses this year, that's a lot. No, Bert. You won't be there that Saturday. Jenna and I are going. Has Jenna shown you what she's wearing? Well, it's more a question of what she's not wearing. Holy shit, Jenna's getting the new girls out. Yeah.

This is showcasing them. Are you kidding? Jonesy's going to be there. Yeah, she's going to have her huge bust out on display. Look at my new boozies. Paid a fortune. Best bust. on display. Look at my new boozies. Pay to afford to. Best bust. Jenna Benson.

How much would you hate me if I sent an all-staff email on your behalf, Mitchell? Stop. And I'd have said hello. Don't you dare. That would be really nice. What, just a mental health check-in? Don't do it. Hi, all.

Reminder, it's okay to not be okay. Oh, that's so nice. Oh, you just got a calendar alert. Telehealth with Dr. Dorito. Dr. Dorigan. That's what I said. What time? In 54 minutes.

Oh, plenty of time. Have you noticed, isn't this me on the fly? Have you noticed, you know how sometimes if something is in your phone calendar, it'll give you an alert saying time to leave. It will take such and such amount of time to get there. I swear my phone must think I don't have a car because I have a house inspection and it'll take half an hour to drive. But three hours before it'll say, leave now.

It'll take three hours to get there. And I'm like, I'm not walking to the house inspection. It doesn't think I have a car. Oh, it's set to walk. Yeah. I don't know how to change it. I've tried. I've Googled it.

Nothing. It literally just goes like when I was driving to Bogangate last weekend, it's like two days before. Leave now. It'll take two days to walk to Bogangate. Oh, my God. It's like, ding! Don't forget.

That is weird. I know. I get the automated text from Milk Run and they're like, hello, Milk Run VIP. We've got 15% off your essentials. And I go, I never asked. I don't want to use that I always get discount codes

no what you say is when no when did I ask I don't think that'll work to a corporation it's my favourite now catching people out on that I hate it I could never do that say when that's so annoying when you're pouring someone a drink say when

shut the fuck up what does that even mean when I fuck up. What does that even mean? When. When. I said when. But what does that even mean? Say when to stop. No, that's not.

Just say, tell me when to stop. Just say, that's perfect. Thank you. Imagine if someone says, say when, and you go, no. Say when. Or what. Say when. I won't.

No, you just let them pour heaps and go, pardon. Pardon here. Fucking hell. I'm going for the. Oh. You can keep talking. I'm just putting background music. Oh, I like this.

I had a Hux party. Have I spoken about the Hux yet? I don't think so. Oh my. What?. I had a Hux party. Have I spoken about the Hux yet? I don't think so. Oh, my. What? So I had a Hux party last weekend. He said to me when I was in the Hunter Valley, he goes, oh, my God, I'm in the Hunter Valley too.

He wasn't. It was in fucking Gosford. I'm like, that's not the Hunter Valley, Luther. It was my cousins combined hens and bucks. Gender non-conforming. Fuck the patriarchy. Men and women can party together. I think they're just being scabby, actually.

There's nothing against the patriarchy whatsoever. Let me tell you something. I forget. Danny Minogue thought that was funny. Mitchell, see, it's addicting you. Once you start. Speak of the devil. Oh, look who tweeted this.

Who? Danny? Danny. What'd she say? She said. Can you tweet an audio thing now? Thank you, Danny. Oh, that reminded me. The Hux.

Yeah. Because it's like my cousin and it's a family wedding and I'm emceeing the wedding. I'm in the groom's party. How'd you get there? No, I didn't. No, I wish. Should have called Bron. And I said to my mum, oh, where's the Hux? Like a month ago. And she went, oh, it's up in the Hunter Valley. And I went, oh mum, oh, where's the Hux? Like a month ago. And she went, oh, it's up in the Hunter Valley.

And I went, oh, cool, cool. Anyway, I got the details and I paid my money for Hayden and I for our accommodation. The event, we'll post the address the day before. Great. Hayden and I get in the car. We accommodate four hours to get to the Hunter Valley. We get in the car. We put the address in on Facebook.

It's an hour away. It's in Gosford. Oh, my. So it wasn't our fault, but we should have done our due diligence and actually checked the address. So we were very early. Slightly less picturesque than the Hunter Valley. Gosford. Gosford.

It was a great weekend away. Yeah. In Gosford. In Gosford. It was like an Airbnb match with a golf course and a lily pond. Oh, my God. Yeah, it was very nice. Hello, Mitchell speaking. I'm hearing Grayson's line.

I've got to put him in that sit-in beverage one. What? Hello. I just wanted to organise a new account, if I could. A new account for what? He hung up. We could talk for hours. Take Lisa from Riverstone.

When? I'll do it. Hi, Lisa. Sorry, you've missed out on the bank of KJ. You'll have to call back. Oh, damn it. Thank you. No worries.

See you tomorrow, babe. That's not good. See ya. You play again at 8 then all day while you work with Will and Woody for the drive home. Thank you. Bye. See you, sweetheart. That was me just giving my best impression of anyone, any producer that works here.

Does that screen on my side of the desk actually work? It's worked for 12 years. I did not know that that was a touchscreen. Yeah. I'll take Helen. I thought that it was just a mirror of your screen so that I could see who's on the line. I didn't know I had any control over there.

Helen in carrying bars as usual. Hello, Helen. It's Mitch. Oh, sweet pea, you haven't got in now. You've got to call back in probably in 35 minutes, okay? Helen? You turned the phone down, didn't got in now. You've got to call back in probably about 35 minutes, okay? Helen? You turned the phone down, didn't you? No, I didn't.

What was that? Sounds like she's been to hell and back. No, you have to pay that. That was fucking lucky. That was a good one. That was very good. I'll take that and I will run with it. Can you answer another one?

Yeah, sure. Mitch, you take one. No, Jenny, you can take one. I'm just going to take one that doesn't already have their name stored, so you're going to have to ask. Hi, it's Kierce. What's your name? Natalie. What are you calling for?

Sorry, you'll have to fix your phone line. Oh, what a shame. She doesn't deserve to win. No, she doesn't deserve to go to the bank. Very rude. If anything, she should give us some cash. We can actually. All right, should we go?

I'm getting exhausted. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Well, I think I'll make that call around here now that I'm in charge. I can just clock off if you guys want to keep powering on. What are we going to talk about, Jenna? Yeah, what are we going to talk about? I asked you first. When?

Don't even try it. Don't even try it. Yeah. Oh, he's back. I feel fucking stupid today. I'm just in one of those moods. I'm going feral. I can feel it.

Jackie O has some Miranda Kerr Cora Organics over here valued at at least $400. Do you know how hard it is for me to not steal it? Because I sit over there every fucking week and I use Miranda Kerr's products and they're just sitting there. I don't think Jackie O'Nor is going to use them. This stuff is not cheap. It is.

Cora Organics? Yeah. It's pretty affordable for what it is. Why did Miranda Lee Kerr send Jackie O'Naught a horse brush? That's offensive. No, I think that's an exfoliating brush. Yeah. Aromatherapy associates. What do you do with it?

Just exfoliate your skin. It's good after a shave so you don't get the ingrowns. With what? What? What do you mean? What do you put on it? Nothing. Nothing.

It just gets rid of dead skin. It's an exfoliator. You dry rub your face. No, in the shower, idiot. Obviously. I don't exfoliate. You have to be damp. Really? You don't? No. Your skin should look much worse in that case because I like me exfoliating. You know what? The cheuries for what it's worth.

Can't overdo it though. No, no, no. Yeah, that's what I've been told. Cheuries for what it's worth. Terrible when it comes to dieting but great great skin on all the churis. Something in that Mediterranean life we used to live. Anyone want more blood cum spray? No, I'm all right, thanks. No, don't spray too much. I haven't sprayed any on me.

I was letting you guys do it. It'll set me off. Wow. Lady Gaga fame. Get amongst it. Beautiful. I'm trying to find the bit where Gaga says that she wants to smell to smell like a slut oh yeah i wanted it to smell um slutty to be totally honest i don't think that women need to smell you know interesting i mean i have an interesting mind but i want

to smell like a slut, to be totally honest. Do you think that other people will as well? I mean it in a lovely way, like the way that your husband makes you feel when you've had a really long day and he knows exactly what to say to you that will make you feel sexy. Here's some blood and cum for you, love. Yeah, true. That mating call. That mating call. That mating call. This poor CNN journalist spent nine years at Yale.

Which is what I hope to share with this fragrance, are that you can find the inner queen in yourself. Thanks for saying that. Fuck, the journalist asked what the time was. Yeah. And your inner queen. Shut the fuck up. And also, remember when she just completely backflipped

on what she said about the perfumes because she then did like a talk at university about mental health and she goes, I hate being used to sell fragrances. And I'm like, oh, I thought you really wanted to smell like a smug. When? It was stronger than me. But once I went through all sorts of changes, my career taking off,

becoming more isolated, i was born this way shut up all of that god she annoys me sometimes here we go here we go okay stephanie gaga hybrid person why are you unhappy why is it that you want to quit music a couple years ago i was like well i ago. I was like, well, I really don't like selling these, you know, fragrances, perfumes. I'm watching this smelling like a slut like, oh, so I'm the reason you're depressed, am I, bitch? Sorry for supporting your fragrance. Wait, I guess she would have been made to have done that at 26.

When? No. Worth a shot, wasn't it? It really was. Well said. All right, should we go? Yeah, let's get out of here. We hope this podcast, are you going to do this bit or am I just going to do it?

Oh, no. Let's stick to tradition. Okay. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 3% better today. That's all. So we do. Gorgeous. That was beautiful.

All right, should we get out of here? Yeah, we will Thanks for listening everyone We love you to bits Toodles honeys Thanks for listening Oh sorry no plural Toodles honey

See ya you Thanks for listening Bye Is it just me A podcast by a couple of mitches Make sure you've hit follow On your podcast app