Is It Just Me? - #13: Christmas Catch Up

Episode Date: December 15, 2019

'Not My Cup of Tea' reunion - part 1 (23:37)The bit between Christmas & NYE (08:09)Vanessa Amorosi talks 'unhealthy love' & Eurovision (12:30)Mitch's special delivery from Bogan Gate (24:34)Coughing Fit Chicken - Santa calls in sick on Christmas Eve (29:27)Our "Secret Segment" ADDebrief (43:20)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. This is it. This is the big one. This is for the girls. This one. Some things make more sense than others. Lindsay Lohan punched in the face after trying to take a boy away from a mother. You're a good little boy. I won't leave until I take you.

Brace yourself for observations you didn't ask for. That's the line. I see it quite clearly. Get new glasses. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. And one Mitch is clearly better than the other one. I couldn't agree more.

Now here's Mitch Chury and Mitchell Coombs. Well, we made it. To what? Final show of the year. I know. It feels weird saying that, right? It really does. We haven't even been on the cloud that long.

Well, no. In my mind, we had so much left to do for this year. And then you were like, oh, I'm going to LA next week. I was like, oh, shit. That means we've got one show left. I am in and out of LA. Yeah, as we all well know. It's like what happens in the year.

It's like the year just disappears. You want to get so much done and nothing gets accomplished. The fact that it's bloody December to me, I'm just like, far out. I haven't done any Christmas shopping for presents. We sound like two ladies at parallel checkouts at Coles. It's just put the panettone in a separate bag and they tried to bring it up because you have a common interest of being white and in Coles. Yeah.

Oh, hasn't December come around yet? Oh, yeah. They get your attention. Don't squash the bread. That's what we sound like. We may as well just be talking about the weather, really. Yes, you're exactly right. Well, we're here.

Final show. It's a big one. Is it? Yeah, because I just want to start by saying it is Christmas time. So I thought I might do something that'll set the festive theme for the year. Right. I am a lovely co-host, and I haven't told you this was happening. We could have done a secret Santa, but I love you too.

Oh, no. And what I've done is I've bought you both a present. And I haven't told you about this. Jenna. Oh, my God. I was worried about Jenna, to be honest. Jenna, you didn't get him anything, did you? No.

Oh, thank God. Did you get him anything? Well, I didn't know we were doing this. That's fine. See, you know I kind of like the attention, so I just didn't want to doing this. That's fine. So, you know, I kind of like the attention. So, I just didn't want to tell you because now you look like the fuckheads. I see what you've done. I see what you've done.

Nice one on the show. Okay. So, I'm going to start with you, Mitchell Coombs. I know you're a brand boy and you've always wanted one of those Frank Green drink bottles. Oh, did you get me one of those? I did. Here you go. Oh, thank you.

Merry Christmas, darling. Oh, there you go. Oh, that's cute. This is like the same brand that all those wanky keep Here you go. Oh, thank you. Merry Christmas, darling. Oh, there you go. Oh, that's cute. This is like the same brand that all those wanky keep cups come in. Yeah, they're very nice. You can put hot and cold. You can put iced. I'm actually not a brand boy, which is why I haven't bought one myself.

Because I'm like, I can't justify spending that much money on a frigging drink bottle when I could just be reusing an old Mount Franklin, you know? Well, now you don't have to. No, I don't. Thank you very much. Now you are a brand boy. That's fine. I'm very nice. And Jenna, I got you something too. Oh, my God. No, I don't. Thank you very much. Now you are a brand boy. That's fine. I'm very nice.

And Jenna, I got you something too. Oh, my God. Jenna, I got you a fish. What? Merry Christmas. Oh, my God. Merry Christmas, Jenna. How cute.

All right, let's go on with the show. Lucky you, Jenna. Merry Christmas. What's wrong? What's up? Jenna, why are you crying? Jenna, these can't be authentic cries. Jenna.

Are you freaking out of the fish? So obviously people can't see us right now. She's got a plastic bag with a fish in it. Yeah, I've just put it in the bag. It's very Finding Nemo-esque. You actually look a lot like that girl who's got the braces who we worked in the dentist. Dala. You look like Dala.

Is it dead? No, Jenna, it's a Siamese fighting fish. Yeah, it's alive. I went to the pet shop. Also, it shows some respect. Give it a name. This is your pet. Yep, it's a Siamese fighting fish and I walked into Pet Bar and I thought, what animal perfectly describes Jenna? And I saw this lethargic fish swimming

in a bowl, barely alive. As I approached it and tapped on the glass, it barely moved. Oh my god, so you got a fish on its deathbed? That was on its deathbed. I asked the guy and I was like, oh, is this fish okay? He's like, that's their temperament, mate. All they do is sit and watch. That is very you, Jenna. Very

Jenna. Oh, it's moving. Oh, it's cute. We were talking about it and we thought Jenna lives alone. She could do with the pet. Very Jenna. Oh, it's moving. Oh, it's cute. We were talking about it. We thought Jenna lives alone. She could do with the pet. There you go. You've got a fish now. Enjoy, Jenna. Do I have a tank?

No. Aren't you meant to put them in a tank within like half an hour? Yes. Oh, you can do that at your own cost. We'll finish the show and you can... Everything's closed. You'll be right. Just put it in a glass of water until you get home. Put it in my Frank Green water bottle.

Yeah, good idea. Well, my team have Secret Santa tomorrow. You're not going to re-gift the fish, are you? Yeah, they're not going to give you a tank. Don't hope that Jonesy and Amanda will bring in a filtered tank. I need a tank. Okay. We're just kidding.

Can I just say, I got you a tank. It's filtered. It's heated. Are you joking? No, Jenna, because I love you. And you live alone. And I want you to have someone in your house with you. This is the exact reaction we wanted by getting her a fish.

She went through the initial absolute freak out of what the fuck am I going to do with a fish? And now she's just attached to it. Look at her. Oh, it's so cute. It's bright blue. Describe it, Jenna. It's very cute. You haven't given it a name yet.

Yeah. I'm going to call. This is so hard. Well, we have until the end of the show to come up with a name So let us do the show And by the end of the show we want a name out of you Jenna I'm going to name it Sylvia We got there quick didn't we

Oh named after who Well there's our TSL technique gone We're going to hook people throughout the whole show Oh what the fuck are they going to call it We'll announce the $10,000 winner after six No wait it's Julie she's here After Sylvia Jeffries I'm assuming The TV presenter We'll announce the $10,000 winner after six. No, wait. It's Julie. She's here. After Sylvia Jeffries, I'm assuming, the TV presenter?

Yeah. Nice. We've got to get that thing in a tank. It's starting to – there's a lot of fish excrement in that bag. Jenna, what I've got is if you go to the corporate kitchen right next to the CEO's office, he walked in when I was filling it up and he's Irish. He was like, what is this? I said, oh, it's a fish.

He went, follow the office. I didn't approve that. But anyway, that's your fish. Happy Christmas. Thank you. Merry Christmas, the end of this. Sylvia. I originally just wanted to give you the bag and just leave you. Just watch you walk home with a fish in a plastic bag.

I would have done that. No, look, Mitch, you weren't lying early when you said it's a big show because I've been nagging you for weeks now to get Vanessa Amorosi on the show. Yeah. Anyone who doesn't know Vanessa Amorosi, she's a singer. If you don't know her by name, surely you know these songs of hers.

There's so many good ones. She's an Australian icon. She is. And there was a new song of hers that I loved and I said, get her on so I can tell her that I love it. I won't believe it until it happens, but you've promised it. So she's on the way, right? She's on the way.

She'll be on the show very soon. We'll give her a buzz. I've got her phone number, her personal number. So look at me go. Sure. Okay. Also, apparently you're bringing your fucking exes back in. Yeah, anyone who used to listen to Not My Cup of Tea,

well, the girls are on the way for a little Christmas reunion. That's what families do at this time of year. Fantastic. They all come together and catch up. There might be traffic. That's a shame. reunion. That's what families do at this time of year. Fantastic. They all come together and catch up. There might be traffic. That's a shame. Also, death tolls on the road this time of year are awful. That's terrible.

I'm joking. Oh, the listeners are going to hate me even more now. Fat boys, slams, girls from not my cup of Lipton iced tea. Stupid show. Anyway, should we kick off the way we always do, Mitch? Yeah, I think we should. We'll kick off with an idjim. If it's your first time listening, which by now, you shouldn't be starting at this episode.

If you're starting this episode, our producer has been given a fish. I've slandered another show. You know it's highly likely that someone could be starting with this show because if they're bored over the Christmas period, it's the first one at the top of the feed. Really? Yeah. There you go. Welcome to the shit show, guys. Well, this is how we start with's the first one at the top of the feed. Really? Yeah. There you go. Welcome to the shit show, guys.

Well, this is how we start with an idjim. It's an is it just me? It's the core of the show. It's something we, what is it again? I always forget. Something we know. It's something we hate or appreciate. I'm going to kick it off this week.

Let's officially start the final show of the year. Is it just me or? In those weird like five, five, six days... Hang on, sorry. Before you get into it, Jenna, you really should take that fish and put it in the frigging tank. I know, I'm freaking out. Yeah, just go take the fish away.

She's got a plastic bag. It's like she's got a hot cross bun from Baker's Delight. Oh, God. Stop rustling it. You're going to concuss it. Be careful. I'm trying my best. It's dripping water.

Bye, Sylvia. See you, Sylvia. That poor fucking fish. Okay. Is it just me or are those five to six days after Christmas and before New Year's Eve absolutely nothing? Well, they're not nothing. Yeah, but do you just lose all meaning of life? Oh, of course I do, but I embrace the feeling.

Like, does time stop? Could you kill someone and not go to prison? It's almost like The Purge. Calories don't count. Like, I just feel like no one gives a shit. No one's motivated to do anything. You have a ham for breakfast, lunch and dinner because you're living off leftovers.

Yeah, but I kind of find something nice about the fact that everyone around you is in the same boat. And so I don't feel like I'm competing. No, that's what I mean. Everyone's just messy and we all give each other permission. No one judges. So it's like a fun period. But I know what you mean. I always have to check what the date is and the day of the week during that period because I've got no idea what's going on.

But it's almost like a general consensus. It's a conscious awareness. Everyone knows that we've clocked off. Like it's an automatic out of office. No stores are open. You can't get anything. You go, mum, we should get milk. She's like, oh, the shops are closed.

I go back to the country every Christmas, New Year, and I'm used to things not being open all the time. And like, I didn't realise all these things closed, all the shops closed in the city as well. I thought that everything stayed open. Everything is shut. And I don't know what to do. I just think about my New Year's resolution, which I'm a sucker for.

I do it every year. Oh, okay. See, I used to be one of those New Year's resolution bitches. But this year, I feel like I'm starting to see everyone else's point when they say, don't set New Year's resolutions because you're just setting yourself up for disappointment in many cases. Because I do that unrealistic thing where I go, I'm going to look better this year.

It's like, you have to be more specific. Well, for this year, mine is consistently join the gym, lose weight, stop eating fat. Again, they're vague goals. Very vague goals. But I, yeah, I want to join a gym. So why don't we set news resolutions? Oh, I just said I don't want to.

No, let's set new show resolutions. First show of 2020. We can touch base and see how our resolutions have gone. Jenna's can be not to kill the fish. Well, that's not super realistic either because they're fish. They don't have the biggest lifespan. That said, I did rear a guinea pig for eight years. They don't usually last that long.

Is that a euphemism? No. Rearing is like looking after. Oh. Raising. That sounds like something a Westie would say about their partner. Yeah, I did rear the missus the other night. Hold on.

Let me Google what rearing means. Sounds a bit off. Yeah, bring up all care for. Fuck you. I didn't actually. I understand where you're coming from. Rearing a guinea pig. But anyway, I kept that fucker alive for eight years.

That's unheard of. I had a guinea pig for eight years too. Patch. Is that their lifespan, eight years? No, mine was taken by a sea eagle. A sea eagle? I live next to the beach in Grinnell. It was taken by a sea eagle.

What? So it was like... That was the best guinea pig impression I've ever had! Oh, darling, I've got skills. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you've read a couple in your lifetime. A sea eagle had its little fucking talons and picked up Patch.

How did you see it? My parent, my mum did. And Patch was the size of a football. He was free range. He lived in a dog kennel. And he was, and he was stolen by a sea eagle. He's an idjim lived in a dog kennel. He was and he was stolen by a seagull. He's an idjim on the fly. Is it just me or

are pets dying sometimes the most traumatic things because they die in the most fucked up way? Yeah, I've got a little kahoodle that is my pride and joy, a little Hamish. Named after Hamish Nanny. And I cannot even bear to think of him dying. Well, there goes our New Year's resolutions. I guess mine is just not to watch my dog die.

What's yours? You know, I haven't actually thought about it. This is the problem with our rules of not telling each other what it's going to be. What is my New Year's resolution? I actually do want to, I haven't decided a number or anything, but I do want to lose a little bit of weight. Not like heaps. It's just because I put a little bit back on.

Right. That's all. So it's not like I need to, like I hate my body, but I'm just like, oh yeah, I've actually gotten a little bit out of it. You're not curvy though, at all. You've got a butt on you. It's not. Thank you.

That's a compliment. I'd rear that guinea pig. Ew! Ew! I did not mean to say that. I did not mean to say that. I'm moving this right along. Okay.

I'm very excited for my Is It Just Me this week because I'm finally speaking to a guest that I've wanted to get on the show for ages. Let's do it. Is it just me or...? Is it the most satisfying thing when you hear a song that is very applicable to what's happening in your life but it's also a little bit terrifying?

Do you know what I mean? Where it's like, oh, someone's tapped into my brain. So as you know, Mitch, I've had a real appetite recently for songs about men being a waste of time. Oh, yeah. I was driving along and I heard this song recently and I was like, oh my God, that sums up exactly what I'm thinking. And I'm very thrilled to say that the artist behind that particular song is on the line

right now. Vanessa Amorosi. Hello. Welcome to the show. Hey, hey. I want to know what this song is now. Well, it was this one, one of the new ones, Hello Me, Mitch. You've got it for us. Okay, I want Vanessa to tell me what that song's about so I can work out what you're going through.

Vanessa? Well, I mean, that's such a compliment for me that it relates to something that's happening in your life and it was a situation that I had gone through that I had to just draw a boundary line, like I was so wanting to please and make that person happy and then towards the end I was just really unhappy and so goodbye.

Goodbye you, hello me. It's just a, I don't know, when you come to that realization that it's really unhealthy love. And it's almost not worth the effort and time, you know what I'm saying? Totally not. Totally not. There we go. That's exactly why this song resonated with me.

Look at you two. You sound like you're having a ciggy out the back of work, just being like, he fucked me over. Well, you know, the thing is that it's just so common. And everybody, like there's a lot of people that pretend it doesn't happen to them. But, I mean, it's really a common experience. I think everybody's exactly felt that way at least one point in their life. Oh, 100%.

Yeah, great. Hey, you're in the running to represent Australia at Eurovision, right? Yes. I'm not really a Eurovision fan. How does it all work? Well, it's going to be, it's called Australia Decides. And then we literally do like a little home competition here and then whoever wins that goes overseas to

represent australia so it's between you and casey donovan right oh really yeah there's a there's a whole bunch of us actually there's nine artists oh but the thing that was really great and i've watched your vision for years but i've never really been all that into it, was last year, Kate Miller-Heike. Like her performance and the actual song was all like, it's just super, super artistic. Like the whole thing is incredible. So I thought, you know, personally for me, if I get to design a stage and create this thing and then I have a song that would totally work that way, it just kind of all fell into place.

that would totally work that way, it just kind of all fell into place. So at this Australia Decides round, do you do like an original song or one of your existing songs? How does it work? Well, I'm doing one of my songs off my new record. Which one? People are doing I Can't Say. Oh, bullshit. Because I've listened to the new album and I really like it.

So I'm excited to know which song it ends up being. We're keeping it a secret for a little bit longer but I'm lucky enough that when we did write this song a year ago I was like straight away I was like oh my god

this would be amazing for Eurovision. Yeah. And then yeah obviously getting to design the whole set up but yes if you win the one that's in Brisbane

then you go and represent. Do you have like pyrotechnics? Like are you trying to beat them out with like you know the show? Do you have costumesyrotechnics? Are you trying to beat them out with the show? Do you have costumes and feathers? Or no, is it just you and a microphone?

Anything goes. No, anything goes. It's as crazy as you want to get. It's lasers. It's new technology. It's however creative you can go and what length you want to go to. Oh, it's like we're going to be watching The Masked Singer with you, Vanessa Amorosi.

It'll be great. Coming out in a big chook outfit, yeah. Oh, that'll be fun. That's the way to win. That's right. Where are you in the world at the moment? I'm in Melbourne at the moment, but I've been jumping back and forth to each city this year and then each country.

Oh, God. So wait, what country have you been other than Australia? I've just been back and forth to LA because I'm kind of somewhat based there, so I'm jumping around a lot. Sounds like someone I know. No, they pay me out here because I said to someone once, I said, oh, I'm in and out of LA, but I've only been there once in the year. So they give me shit.

I just said it to sound cool. So you're someone who's actually in and out of LA, Vanessa. Yeah, I think this year I've probably done around 20 trips. There you go. See, she can get away with saying it. It's justified. I've been once. Are you going to be there for Chrissy? I'm going to get there

two days before Christmas. Oh my god, I leave two days before Christmas. That lunch that we were definitely going to have. No, I land on the 22nd. I think I land on the 22nd or I leave the 22nd. I'll wave to you. There you go. Jet setters. You'll be in you. I'll wave to you. Look at us.

There you go. Jet setters. You'll be in business. We're going to be in that chaos at the airport, just so you know. I know. But I'm going, so I'm kind of thinking I'm going to avoid it. Airport rage. Yeah.

What can you do? You're a celebrity. You get escorted wherever you want. I've got to push through the trenches. I wish I could, unless I chuck a tantrum. That's the only time they're going to escort me anywhere in cuffs. Talk to me. Do you, like when you go to the airport, do you get noticed?

Or no? Not in the States, more so in Australia? Not normally at all because I dress appropriate for a flight. So I look like a wreck. I'm like in tracksuit pants. My hair's disgusting. I don't wear any makeup. Right.

So I'm tragic looking, but it's comfy. Like I don't want makeup in my eyes when I'm trying to sleep and I don't want to be in tight clothes when I'm trying to lay and eat everything on the flight. Yeah, no, I feel you. No, I made that error. The first flight I went on, I was like dressing to impress and my friends watched me walk out the door.

They were like, why are you in jeans and boots for a flight? Yeah, it can be – well, when you do so many trips, after a while you just go, screw that. Comfort is way more important. I can imagine. Hey, we were talking recently on the show about how nobody ever answers phone calls these days. Mitch and I disagree on this all the time. Where do you stand?

Do you get pissed off that no one answers the phone or are you the person that never answers your freaking phone? I never answer my phone. Oh, damn. Really? Yeah, because in America, you are hit every five seconds with Kelly Marcus. It's all my phone. Oh, damn. Really? Yeah, because in America, you are hit every five seconds with Kelly Markets. It's all the time. Oh, really? And then my message bank is full of it.

And I don't know who owned my number before I got it, but the IRS are after their ass. Oh, shit. I'm constantly not answering. You've got Trump's old SIM. Oh, God. I've literally, I answer the text Or if somebody needs me

To call them I call them But I hate being on the phone It's really bizarre Yeah Well just when I thought We shared the same brain After that song

Now you're telling me Oh Do you love to be on the phone Really Well I don't know I just think that I've ranted about it too much That now I have to

Like put my money Where my mouth is I've told everyone else She's just a liar She's just a liar She does it all for content You know what it too much that now I have to put my money where my mouth is. I've told everyone else. He's just a liar. He's just a liar. He does it all for content. You know what it's like. Why do you have to?

No, I'll tell you what I'm a big fan of, the voice messages, where you talk into it and then you send it. So not phone calls, but voice messages. Like the audio record of a message. Do you do that, Vanessa? I actually have an app that's like a walkie-talkie, and that's exactly what it does. That's cool.

So I can message people from all around the world, and I can send messages in the middle of the night or whatever time it is in their zone, and then when they wake up, they respond back. So I actually prefer that over texting. Yeah, one step ahead of us all. Look at you go. Do you say over at the end of every message?

Like, is that how it works? Roger that, over. 10-4, 10-4, 10-4. I did start, like, a few years years ago doing that and I drove everyone nuts. Yeah, I bet. I got so excited when I was talking to your reps to book you for this interview and they're like, oh, just call Vanessa directly on this number. And I'm like, oh, I'll just add that to my contacts as Vanessa Amorosi.

And then we called and it connects, that phone number connects us to you. I don't actually have your number. I was so devastated. Oh, well, you know, you're probably calling my bestie. Listen, you can call her anytime. She loves me. Really? Okay, that's fine. Mitch likes to brag like he's got all these celebrity friends after he interviews

them once. I do not. Now, Vanessa, I'm not trying to make you look bad if you have forgotten him, but you have spoken to Mitch before. Do you remember him? Well, she can't see me. You know, I need to see. I need to see. I need to see. She would.

You know what? I think the moment you lay eyes on me, you'd go, yep, that's him. I remember that sweaty, round face anyway. You were on my night show at Kiss. You came in and you know what? It was just before you broke that Rolling Stones story and you had to get Russ in here to confirm you could tell it on my show. That's right. Okay, now I know.

And then when Kyle was sick on Kyle and Jackie, I was in that day? Exactly. Now I know. There you go. See? Oh, damn it. We're pals. See, the crazy thing is that I'm literally in and out of people's faces all day, but

as soon as I'm back in front of their face talking, I'm like, hang on, we've done this. It's like, no shit, Sherlock. It's weird like that. I did an interview with, oh, yeah, you're right. It does sound like I'm name dropping. I'm not trying to. With Dua Lipa. And it was the second time I'd spoken to her. I'm like, hey,, Sherlock. It's weird like that. I did an interview with, oh, yeah, you're right. It does sound like I'm name dropping. I'm not trying to. With Dua Lipa. And it was the second time I'd spoken to her.

I'm like, hey, good to see you again. And she's like, have we spoken? I'm like, yeah, like last week. I love that she said that. Most people pretend they cover it up. No, she's just stone cold. Have we spoken? I'm like, yeah, last week.

She's like, oh. You know when someone hits you with nice to see you rather than nice to meet you, that they're saying in case you've met. Oh, good to see you again. I love that she didn't bother with that. That's so good. She's doing it. She doesn't have time.

You know what's really crazy? I do find a lot of people just switch off. I think it's like a coping mechanism when you start actually doing a whole bunch of stuff. You're actually not home anymore. You're just a walking, operating human that's got no brain. People are poking you and prodding you and getting you to do things and say things and talk about the album, but don't say this, but say that. No, it's not like that.

I think it's just because the schedule is so early and you don't quite wake up all day, and then at night time you're performing, so you wake up. I don't know. It's just bizarre. Hey, here's a question about the album. Very cute dog on the cover. Whose dog is that?

That's one of my rescues. I've got like nine animals. That is so cute. Mitch brought a fish into the studio today. I did. Not a rescue. He just decided to get a fish. Maybe we should put that on our podcast artwork.

It goes quite nicely on Vanessa's one. Taking your inspo. Inspo from you, Vanessa. Did I miss the dog's name? What did you say the dog's name was? His name is Bruce. He's actually one of my hardest dogs to read. I couldn't read up him. Couldn't rehome him.

You said you had nine, Vanessa. Yeah, so what I do for the last seven years out there is I get phone calls from the pounds when they're about to put them down in the morning and I go and pick them up and then I work out exactly what their temperament is and what they get along with dog-wise because I have every type of dog you can imagine there. And then if I can rehome them, try to and bruce who's on the front cover is the sweetest thing ever but because he's really big for a pit bull yeah right extremely hard to rehome him so i've had him for now five years and i'm still trying to rehome him and i think i've just given up now because everybody now sees the cover and goes oh my god he's like a model he's so

bruce is yours i feel like he suits you. He's amazing. But like I said, I've got nine of them. It's tough. And then I'm on the road a lot, so I have a lot of people taking care of him, and it's not the same. I'm trying so hard to resist the urge to put my hand up and say, give me one of the dogs, because I'm like, I know.

I'm not in a place to have one, but, God, I'd love one. The day that I'm ready for a dog. We can fly him to Australia. Well, I'm in and out of LA, so you never know. Oh, shut up. Hey, you've got a baby as well, right? A little baby. Yes, I've got a three-year-old.

How's that working and touring and in and out of LA? Are they with you? They're with me at the moment, but they're going home tomorrow, and then I'll see them just before Christmas. But it's a mission. It's a big mission. Yeah, I bet. You're killing it.

We love you. Mitch, you're a fangirl. At least let's just think of anything else you want to say to Vanessa while you've got her on the line. Well, I'm just glad that we finally got the opportunity. Mitch has been bragging about his celebrity contact book, like, oh, yeah, I can get anyone. And I was like, get Vanessa Amorosi.

There was a song I heard. I like the album, Get Her. But you're here now and it's been an absolute pleasure. It has. I really appreciate that. And thanks for you're here now and it's been an absolute pleasure. It has. I really appreciate that. And thanks for liking your new song. That's such a compliment. I really appreciate it.

No, we love you. And good luck at Eurovision. We'll be rooting for you. Thank you. Oh, Mitch, did you throw the bloody sheet away? I haven't said the name of the album that I like. Oh, yeah, get the credit line in. Pick it up.

Oh, for God's sake. We were nearly done. Go, go, go. Get it out there. Back to Love, that's it. It's out now, everyone. Go check it out. We were nearly done. We thought we were done. We'll get it out there. Back to Love. That's it. It's out now, everyone. Go check it out.

Thank you, Vanessa. With Bruce on the front. Have a good Chrissy. We love you. Talk soon. You as well. Bye, guys. Bye.

Is it just me? Love the podcast, but want more in-between episodes? You can follow the show online at Couple of Mitches. Now, Mitch, you were not walking away empty-handed today because you got Jenna her fish. Yep. You got me my drink bottle and my Vanessa Amorosi chat. I'm spoiled today.

I've done a lot of work this week. Well, I can't take credit for this gift, but like I said, you shan't be empty-handed because look what's showed up in the mail for you. What is it? Remember a couple of weeks ago on the show, you called, we were talking to my mum on the mail for you. What is it? Remember a couple of weeks ago on the show, you called, we were talking to my mum on the phone for some reason. And then you said to her,

because my mum's a doTERRA mum, like she's like unhealthily obsessed with essential oils. Yeah. And she's a big believer in them. She's like a witch. And so you said to Jane when you were on the phone to her, hey, I get really bad migraines because of my Chiari malformation. Could you send me some essential oils that might help?

Well, look what has shown up in the post, my friend. Oh, give them over here. Here you go. Is it addressed to me? No, can you read the address? Not the actual address, but look how it's written. It's like you're my PA. Mitch Cheery, care of Mitchell Coombs.

And when I got it, I was like, what the fuck is this? That's so funny. Oh, the oils. What you just smelled, that envelope, that's going to be like a clusterfuck of all the oils together. There's a bunch of different ones. Look at them. This looks like what Chappelle Corby got in trouble for.

It's a little cling wrap glass case. So to paint a picture, these bottles of essential oil are so tiny. When I say sample, I mean sample. These bottles are so tiny, you could basically fit a couple of tears in them. Yeah. And there's so many. How many are there? Oh, I mean sample. Like these bottles are so tiny, you could basically fit a couple of tears in them. Yeah. And there's so many. How many are there? Oh, here we go.

There's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Okay. Is there like an index that will tell me what they do? Yes. So she's actually got a letter with it. Can I read it? And it explains everything about the oils. Oh, and by the way, we should stress the importance that this is not to encourage people to go

against seeking medical advice for migraines. This is just something that some people find helpful. Alternative medicine. I think they're fucking bullshit. Really? Yeah. I'm not a fan of essential oils, but some people swear by them. Oh, it's got a little ball in it.

Yeah, it's a roll-on. So, ice blue roller. Roll on the back of your neck. Oh, fuck. Okay. Base of brain stem. Fine. Where is yours?

That's my condition. When the migraine hits. Oh, fuck. Okay. Base of brain stem. Fine. Where is yours? That's my condition. It's herniated. When the migraine hits. Oh, wait. You don't have a migraine. Oh. Oh, here we go. This will help me for this show.

Okay. Cognitive function. Which one? What? Which one? The frankincense? Oh, a lot of them, actually. Shit.

Tell me. I'll put them all on. Put the copaiba. Oh, okay. Which one's that? Did I read that right? No, no, no. Yeah, I saw copaiba. Yeah, copaiba Oh, okay Which one's that? Did I read that right? No, no, no Yeah, I saw copaiba

Yeah, copaiba The copaiba and frankincense Put them on the back of your neck A few times a day Or under the tongue Put them under your tongue I will Do you know my auntie Julie

Was born and raised in copaiba? Oh, this one doesn't have a ball This just drops under the tongue? Yeah, drops under the tongue Can you tell me how much? I can't see You tell me if it's dropping You'll feel it.

Careful, you could have done more than one drop there. Put your tongue down. Can you taste it? Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Your cognitive function better be fucking ace for the rest of the show. Holy shit.

I feel like I've fallen face first into a dusk stall. What else? Put more on me. Rosemary. Also good for memory, focus, mental fatigue. Give it here. Okay, what do I do with this one? It should not be used by epileptics or people with high blood pressure.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm probably one of the two. I'll do it. It's all good. What does it do? Put a little bit under the nose and across the forehead. God, it reeks in here. You've got so much oil in all these different spots.

Oh, wow. It's under my nose. Which one was that? Shit, my heart rate's going through the roof. We're going to go into cardiac pulmonary arrest. She said to don't use that if you have high blood pressure. I don't. I haven't been diagnosed with it, so.

All right, let's keep them going. I want to do them all. Do it in your own bloody time. Here's the letter. Wait until you've got a fucking migraine. Just chuck it. Hey, look, Mitch. Christmas time. Yeah's the letter. Okay. Wait till you've got a fucking migraine. Chuck it. Just chuck it. Hey, look, Mitch. Christmas time.

Yeah. Right now. Tis the season for catching up with old family and friends. So we're done with all this? I'm just meant to just bathe myself in these oils? Yeah. Read the letter and do it in your own time. Okay.

Thank you, Jane. I love you. I appreciate. So right now, I want to bring in Aislinn and Talisha, who I used to do Not My Cup of Tea with. And it's because, not that I don't think you're good as a co-host, but you can learn something from these two. Beg your pardon?

There is something that they used to do really well. Well, specifically Talisha used to do really well in Not My Cup of Tea, and that was prank calls. So she's coming in to do a segment that we used to do on Not My Cup of Tea, the old podcast I hosted. Okay. And it's going to be a – we didn't tell you this. It's going to be a hybrid of that segment from Not My Cup of Tea, the old podcast I hosted. We didn't tell you this. It's going to be a hybrid of that segment

from Not My Cup of Tea and Copping Fit Chicken, our prank call segment. We're putting the two together. Once she comes in, we'll explain properly. I didn't consent to this. When have I ever required your consent for a segment? You just go along with my bullshit. I'm going to need some more frankincense.

Just apply it to the back of my neck. All the mental fatigue I put you through. Anyway, come on in, girls. They're sitting out there. Come on. They're not looking at me.

I'll go get them. Come on in. I can buzz them out. Come on, girls. Come on in. There they are. Here they are. It's like on an episode

of Jerry Springer. Bring in the exit. Hey, Sun and Talisha. How are you? Good. We were just playing handball in the hall. Were you?

Yeah. A bit of cardio. What are you, nine? Why were just playing handball in the hall. Were you? A great game of handball. A bit of cardio. What are you, nine? Why were you playing handball? It's a fun game. Oh, now that your show's been cancelled, not much to do, is there? It wasn't cancelled. It was cancelled by the higher-ups.

What higher-ups? Mitchell. Producer Chris. I actually don't know where the bitterness came from. But now I'm looking at you face to face. I really like the both of you. Thanks so much. It's like the dad who doesn't want a puppy but then falls in love with a puppy.

Yep. Bless you. It's like Jenna and her fish. Did you guys see Jenna out there, by the way? She's looking after a new fish. Yeah. She seems very sullen and sad. Mitch, try buzzing Jenna.

Okay. Jenna! Come in now! So what he just said got played out in the office. Oh my God, she's running down the hallway. She's cantering. She's got a trot on. In here!

Come on in, Jenna. Are these M&Ms? Do you remember? You remember producer Jenna? She was our fake producer. Now she's minetering She's got a trot on In here Come on in Jenna Are these M&M's? Do you remember You remember producer Jenna She was our fake producer Now she's Mine and Mitch's Oh she's not a real producer

I've never seen her in the flesh So this is just A lot to cope with Have you never met Jenna? Never in my entire life What? Have you never met? No

I swear you would have Met her at least once Are you kidding? No Oh wow that's weird Okay I'm going to keep the show moving. And now it's time for another round of Coughing Fit Chicken. Chicken!

All right, so the reason that we've brought you guys in here is because Mitch needs a little training. Talisha used to do the calling in sick to places I don't work at, prank call, over on Not My Cup of Tea, which is exactly that. She'd call in sick and then they'd be like, who the fuck are you? And I'd be like, hang on, I work there. I did see a very good segment.

She never breaks character. Whereas you, when you do our Coughling Fit chicken prank calls where you just call someone and break out into a Coughling Fit, you hate it. You're so nervous. She never breaks. She never breaks. Yeah, because we're just fucking celebrities,

not just casual shift workers. Celebrities. Oh, you don't think that shift workers in retail are worth your time? I don't care if a 16-year-old is there at midnight at Supre. She's not as big as a celebrity. Oh, Mitch, you're pathetic. Sorry, are you a widow at your 89-year-old husband's funeral? Is that the fish already dead?

Civil lived a long life. Can we cuss on this podcast? Yeah. Fuck. I was going to say, it's very jarring hearing the word fuck. I'm so trained to not say it. Hearing Mitchell say it is creepy. As if you're trained to not say it.

Yeah, trained. As if I dropped the mosaic bombs. Could you not say it? Oh, you're on the Christian station, aren't you? Yeah, we're on the Christian radio station. Oh, thanks be to God. Yeah. Am I right?

It's really surprising that Aislinn agreed to come in for this because she fucking hates when we do prank calls. This is my least favorite segment we ever did. Why? Every time we did it. Because I don't like it. Prank calls make me feel bad for the other person at the end of the line. I love it.

It's entertainment. Talisha's ruthless. I just get secondhand embarrassment. She's ruthless, Mitch, and you could learn something from her, okay? So she's come up with an idea where you start the call, start coughing, and then you put your wife on. She will be the wife. But the idea she's come up with, it's Christmas themed.

Okay. Okay, Talisha, would you like to explain? Yeah, fuck, it's a good one. All right, so you're going to call this place up. Yeah. You're Santa. But they don't know. You've been just Nick this whole time.

Oh, Nick. This whole time. But I'm like a young me, Santa. Yeah, doll. You've been just Nick this whole time. Oh, Nick. This whole time. But I'm like a young me, Santa. Yeah, doll. You've got to keep it a secret. I might have been chucking like a little like a ho-ho-ho thing. I might have chucked a little ho. Oh, I like that.

Yeah, be subtle about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you haven't done this all year. So like, you know, just breathe it in a little bit. All right, I'll sprinkle in some references. So basically, you are calling in sick to your shift on Christmas Eve because you've got to go to your other job. Of course.

Right? But I can't let them know I'm Santa. No, but we've got to drop it in. Yeah, yeah. Great. Okay, I can do this. And so are you Mrs. Claus? I'm Mrs. Claus.

So, basically, the crossover scenario here, coughing fit. I'll be Santa. I will go into a nick and I will go into a horrific coughing fit and I will wail over my beautiful wife, Mrs Claus. And pass it over to me. So we're going from Ijum's best and most loved segment to Not My Cup of Coffee's most favours segment. Favours?

Have you ever hit a Millie Views? No, I've hit Katie. Her first one that she ever did, calling in sick to Kmart, went viral. Did it? Yes. I've never gone viral. But you always seem to feel bad as well. You're a little bit like Aislinn in that way,

but she just always takes it too far, and even then she's like, not far enough. She'll keep pushing. Let's go to her house and find her. I usually hide under the desk when it's really bad. And wail and scream. I've done it once before. I think it was during the Kmart one that I actually hid under the desk because I couldn't

cope with it. There were genuine tears streaming down the face. Okay, well, let's do it. I'm ready. This time we're calling a Bunnings warehouse. Oh, the poor sods. I love their sausage sizzle. I love Bunnings.

They'll be like, the phone's ringing. Someone go and get it. And they're like, I'm just tossing the onions. Are they even open on Christmas Eve, do you think? Oh, let's give it a fucking shot. I don't know. Why not? I'm going to put the phone. People need lumber on Christmas Eve, do you think? Oh, let's give it a fucking shot. I don't know. Why not? I'm going to put the phone.

People need lumber on Christmas Eve. What are their chimney braids? They need a plant. Jenna's got the number. I'm putting the number in her ear. Everyone quiet. I'm going to turn. Your mics are going to be on.

They can't hear you. I'm putting on a button so that we can hear you, but they can't. No one else gives a fuck about that. No. A little radio secrets. Okay, I'm dialing. Here we go. So Bunnings in Coondalbaraburra?

No, it's not Coondalbaraburra. It's in the neighbouring suburb of... Oh, Bristol Bush. No, you've said that before. Sorry. Oh, my gosh. Shush. Welcome to Bunnings, Cannington.

This is a unit. Hey, sorry, who is this? This is a unit. Oh, a unit. Oh, my, who is this? This is a unit. Oh, a unit. Oh, my God, sorry. This is Nick. I just wanted to let you know that I need to call in sick for my shift. I wanted to give you heaps of notice.

Okay, let me put you on to a manager. Just a moment, okay? Steve? Yeah, sure. No worries. The hoes are a very nice touch. I'm enjoying it. I do like that.

I was like, what was her name? Hi, Maria. Can I help you? Maria, how are you? It's Nick. I'm enjoying it. I do like this. Also, what was her name? Hi, Maria. Can I help you? Maria, how are you? It's Nick. I thought I'd just get in the head. I just spoke to Aluna before, and I wanted to get in before Christmas

and just say that I cannot do my shift Christmas Eve. I want to give you as much notice as I possibly could. Okay, so what department are you from, Nick? Sorry. Nick, you alright? I'm from the nursery. You're in nursery? Yeah.

Oh, Nick, get some water. I only work like one day. Like one day, yeah. And I just thought, I'm not going to be able to get in. And I... Get the water. And it's Christmas Eve. Yeah, Christmas Eve.

The 20... The 24th! Yeah. What's your surname? Team member number. It's the same. Team member number. Same?

Sorry? One sec. I'll just get it. Hold on. My team number. Hello? Can you get the... Hello? Can you get the... I'm just on the phone. I'll just get it. Hold on, my team number. Hello? Can you get the team? Hello?

Can you get the team? I'm just getting my wife. She's got the team number from the back of my badge. Thank you. Can you get the badge number? Please, they need it. I'm getting myself a water bottle. Where have you put it?

Where's your badge? It's on the back of my name tag. Where's your badge? It's on the back of my name tag. Not again. Not this time of year. I'm very busy. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's very stressful. I know, I know. Not this time of year. I'm very busy. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. It's very stressful. I know. Not this month. Where will I find it? The back of my name tag. Behind the sleigh. Just get some water.

Sorry, what was his surname? Hi, doll. How are you going? Sorry, it's Nick's wife. Sorry? Nick's wife, Anita. Yeah, how are you going? Sorry, it's Nick's wife. Sorry? Nick's wife, Anita. Yeah, how are you going, Anita? Sorry, Nick's got a poor, poor cough.

He gets it around this time of year. It's going around. I think it's just the smoke. Oh, Nick, doll, just get some water. Just get the water. He doesn't like water. Get my staff number! Okay, where's the staff?

Sorry, I'm just trying to find it. It's in the high rocks. That's okay. Just watch Vic. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Claws? Okay.

And, like, say, what department is he in, Greenlight? It's in the car. Take the keys. No, okay. Nick, sorry. Take the slide. Have you had some water? You'll have to ask Vic soon. I don't know. Sorry, sorry. Take the slide. Have you had some water? You'll have to ask Vixen.

I don't know. Sorry, he's in the nursery. Yep, okay. He looks after the plants and such. Okay, not a problem. Yeah, you just can't make the Christmas Eve shift. The 24th, love! Yeah, no, I know the 24th.

She knows the 24th. Everyone does. I know. It's all right. Not a problem. It's all right. Everyone does. I know. It's all right. It's all right. Calm down. Calm down, Nick.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, what was that? It's the Cannington store and it's John that's his coordinator. John. Okay. So when will I be able to speak to John? I'll pass it on to John. Oh, okay.

Because John is across that Nick does have another job. This is a second job. He kind of just uses this one to fill in. You know, everyone's a bit of a hustler these days. That's not a problem. No worries at all. I'll pass it on to John for you tomorrow. Yeah, no, for sure, for sure.

Are you around on Christmas Eve? Me? No, sorry. Are you working Christmas Eve? No, I'm not. Sorry. Oh, okay. No, that's all right.

That's all right. Well, at least you'll have time with your family. Nick will see you on Christmas Eve? No, I'm not. Sorry. Oh, okay. No, that's all right. That's all right. Well, at least you'll have time with your family. Nick will see you on Christmas Eve. I might be able to do Boxing Day, love. We'll see how I feel. Well, you know, if he does his job right, maybe he won't. Have you, um, Marie, have you been naughty or nice? This is a prank call.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. This is a prank, Paul Yeah Yeah, thank you You're welcome There you go, she hung up You shouldn't have said that, we should have kept it going No, she needed that Yeah, she needed the closure She did

Poor bitch I guess that counts as a point to you With this popping fit chicken thing we've got going on I didn't stop I may have given a break for you, Mrs Claus to to shine but you know i came back in and was throwing so that's the longest coughing fit chicken record i think no our first ever show the ben fordham one it was non-stop coughing that one there was there was dialogue yeah it was horrific no but like i feel like that's just you know the evolution right true yeah we're bringing in some culture

it's a fully formed how did you cope with that better or worse than usual her fingers are nubs she's biting her nails right off i mean i thoroughly enjoyed it like now that it's over while it was happening i wasn't into it it's like the opposite of when i have sex with men like during i'm like this is great during. I'm like, this is great. And then afterwards, I'm like, why? God. We had a few questions the first time we did Coughing Fit Chicken, and they said, do you call the person back and, like, ask them and explain to them what the hell that was about?

Here's how that went. Hi, Marie speaking. Hey, Marie. Oh, my God, you're such a good sport. My name's Mitch. I'm calling from the couple of Mitch's podcast. You were great with our fake bloody coughing Santa. My God.

Thank you. So I just wanted to call you and let you know it was going on a podcast. And thank you for playing along. You were phenomenal. No worries at all. Thanks, mate. You have a great night. You have a great night.

Well, that was fun. I actually like these girls now. I think I've grown to like them. Thanks for coming in and showing him how to do his fucking job. Yeah, Two Mitch Mitchells is my favourite podcast. Two Mitchells? Those two gay boys with a similar sounding name is my favourite podcast. Similar sounding.

It's the same name. You're Mitch and I'm Mitchell. Similar sounding. They're so similar. Anyway, we should get out of here. It's been great to have you guys on. I should let everyone know that we are actually doing a Not My Cup of Tea Christmas reunion episode.

Hell! So if you're not already, go and search Not My Cup of Tea. Am I not coming? And check out the podcast. No, you're not invited. No. Oh, I've got to go to LA. I'm in and out.

Oh, you're in and out of LA, are you? I just hit it. I'm out. No, you actually were invited. It was a shame you couldn't come, but we'll have just as much fun without you. I'm going to LA. What a fucking final show. Jenna got a fish. You spoke to Vanessa Amorosi. I coughed my lung down. Two girls are in here. It was a shame you couldn't come, but we'll have just as much fun with it. I'm going to LA. What a fucking final show.

Jenna got a fish. You spoke to Vanessa Amorosi. I coughed my lung down. Two girls are in here. It was great. Two girls are in here. Two ladies. You can smell the estrogen.

Well, anyway, go check out the Not My Cup of Tea Christmas show, all right, guys? Mitch and I will catch you back next year, provided that we can be bothered bringing you back. Oh, it's coming back? Yeah. We got renewed for season two. We can finally announce.

We haven't actually discussed this, but I'm just assuming we're coming back, right? Are we coming back? I don't know. I've got nothing else to do. Do you want to come back, Jenna? Oh, no. Jenna's got a fucking fish to care for. Jenna's fucking fired anyway.

Are you looking for producing gigs or no? No. No, we're fine. Thank you. We'll be back. Can I just say, how do you feel Mitch is on this podcast compared to the old one? Is he all right? They don't listen.

Is he tense? No, no, but you're in here with him now. I listen all the time. Is it just Mitch is my favourite podcast? No, no, I'm an idiot. How do you find Mitch? Is he different? A little.

In what way? It feels less like he's trying to wrangle two idiots. He's only trying to wrangle one this time. Jen, I don't take it. What a dumb joke. Did the direct eye contact mean nothing to you, Mitch? Me? Oh my god. Why would you look at me when you're

talking about Jenna? I just feel like it's not Coombs on the buttons anymore. It's such a relief. No, it's me. Maybe you can turn off his mic every fucking now and then. You know what I mean? I thought it was going to be a relief but he makes so many errors. I don't. He has a national night show. Yeah.

Fuck's up there too. Have you listened? I haven't. Anyway, we should go, shouldn't we? Very funny. All right. Thanks for listening, guys. We'll catch you back next year.

Or we'll catch you on Not My Cup of Tea. It's like part two to this, isn't it? We'll also see you on the socials. Thanks so much for listening. Bye-bye. See you guys. See you next year. Merry Christmas.

Happy New Year. Bye-bye. Bye. It's far too jolly. Far too jolly. Is it just me? for listening. Bye-bye. See you guys next year. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year. Bye-bye. Is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app. Alright, welcome to ADD Brief. Do you guys remember how Bonus Bants was our

pride and joy and we wanted everyone to listen to Bonus Bands instead of the main show? Yeah. I feel the exact opposite about this show. It's my shame. You don't want people hearing this? No. Why do it?

I'm hoping to trick people out of listening. We never addressed the secret segment on the main show. On Not My Cup of Tea, it was like, everyone, you've got to hear Bonus Bands, the after show, it's the best bit. This one, I'm like, please don't. Yeah, we don't talk about this segment. It's called AD Debrief because we can't say on track. Also, we really talked it up a lot. It was clearly's the best bit this one I'm like please don't yeah we don't talk about this segment it's called AD Debrief because we can't say on track

so we really talked it up a lot it was clearly not the best bit of the show there was a whole bonus band so we just sang into the microphone the whole time I hate to shut you both the fuck up

but something that we do at the end of every show it's actually a radio first we actually turn on live tweets so they come in hot and heavy so the thing is people just oh got one

who's that oh do you guys know Nick Kelly this is what I mean I'm so ashamed of this segment So they come in hot and heavy. So the thing is, people just... Oh, got one. Who's that? Oh, do you guys know Nick Kelly? This is what I mean. I'm so ashamed of this segment. He just pretends that people can live with it. Oh, another one! Oh, my God.

It's Sylvia! It's Sylvia Jeffery. She said, so good to be the namesake of another Siamese fighting fish. Another? Oh, Ida Buttrose has a similar fish. Ida Buttrose also named a fish after... Oh, my God, another one! It's Fitzy and Whipper. They say, love the show, boys.

We've got another one coming through. Who's that? Oh, there's my YouFoods. I'll just get that out of my mouth. See what I mean? I'm so ashamed of this. I'm just unwrapping a lolly. What did I have to say? Oh, my God, Talisha.

I put one of those bloody Starburst things in my mouth. They're not easy to eat while talking into a microphone. What do you mean? It's natural complexion. Oh, that sounds fucking disgusting. Stop it. Aishan, you've got one over there. Who's that tweet from?

What did you just call her? Ishlyn. Ishlyn. You've got a tweet. You've got an iPad in front of you. Who's that tweet coming in from? Talisha, why are you tweeting at us when you're in the room? Talisha, you can't tweet.

I can't speak, so I just thought I'd tweet. If you think he's a fuckwit, tell him to his face. Don't tweet it at him. Just tell me. Please don't encourage him, Aishan. Don't think he's a fuckwit, tell him to his face. Don't tweet at him. Just tell me. Oh, please don't encourage him, Aisha. Don't play along with this rubbish. Oh, who's this?

Vinnie Esposito. Down with Mitch Turi. Kill him. We all saw that coming, didn't we? Now, can't wait for this segment, ladies and gents. We do it every show. We have a prize wheel behind us, and all we need is some callers. They can call through at any time.

I forgot to say. Oh, Craig's on the line. Hey, Craig. Hey, Craig boy. Craig's calling up from Trusatania. Jenna, what has he won? Give him to spin the wheel. Hold on.

One sec. Oh, he's spinning the wheel. Well done, Craigie. What do we have up for grabs today, Jenna? Sylvia's siblings. Three Siamese fighting fish. Great. And guess what you've won?

All of them. Congratulations, buddy. You're going home with some fishies. I thought you said syphilis. No. Can you turn Jenna down? She's really loud. She's peaking.

Yeah, no worries. Oh, my God. Gabriella, give it a spin. Go, girl. This is one that I actually enjoy. We make up chocolate wheel prizes on the spot. Oh, she's won a pet egg. Congratulations, girl. Shave your foot skin.

Congratulations. Congratulations, girl. Since you're here, Aislinn, I have an Is It Just Me talking point that I've not done on the show. I've been waiting for your arrival. Mitch, hit it with the Is It Just Me sound effect, please. Yeah, I just find it. Hold on one second.

Also, do you have the – hold on. That's not it. Definitely not it. Found it. Hold on one second. Also, do you have the... Hold on. That's not it. Definitely not it. Found it. Is it just me or... Is The Lion King 2 better than The Lion King original? No. As in, no, it's not just me?

You agree? It's not better than the original. It's no way near. The original is better. Lion King 2 holds a special place in my heart and I'll love her forever, but the first one is way better. Now that's incorrect. She's nursing her fucking Simba tattoo like you've just ruined her life.

Do you have a Simba tattoo? Show me. That's beautiful. That's what Rafiki rubs on the tree. Aislinn and I were actually watching The Lion King 2 and singing along to it, and I said, bitch, I think this is better, and I can't believe I'm about to say this,

but when you think about Simba's progression as a character and I said, bitch, I think this is better. And I can't believe I'm about to say this, but when you think about Simba's progression as a character and Simba's growth, the first one, he's just some rich little fucking rat and claiming his inheritance. The second one, he has to overcome his prejudice and accept the fact that his daughter's dating the scabby line that he banished from the Pride once. Oh no. She's fucking porking Kovu, who he hates. Really?

He can't stand Kovu. On the tip of Pride Rock, too. And he has to overcome his sworn enemy and accept the love. Very Romeo and Juliet. It's literally. It literally is Romeo and Juliet. Whereas the first one, it's just some fucking idiot who has no concept of responsibility. He's coming into his own.

Exactly. He's coming into his own. He spends the entire first half of the movie being so excited to grow up and become king. And then he finds out that growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be. Growing up is actually a little bit shit. His fucking dad died. His dad died. His brother, his uncle killed his dad.

He gets stuck in some jungle and becomes some lazy freeloader. Thinks that's cool for a while. Then realizes you need to balance things. So he goes back to take care of them responsibilities. And he's got to be a king in a different way. He's like, my dad was king. He was a banging king, dude. And then he fucks his best friend.

Like, isn't that the dream? That's exactly what you want. Oh, my God. Okay, but the second film, Kiara takes no shit. And even though Zira is an enemy, she saves her feminism. Well, tries to. She still dies. Heavens above.

Anyway. I feel like all Kiara cares about is getting porked. At least Simba and Nala had other priorities. There was other shit going on. They're like, we need to save our kingdom. Are you? Simba's like, Akuna Matata. I want to experiment with weed.

Are you sex shaming? No, I'm just saying. All she cared about was boys once she grew up. What other things did she care about? She was on heat. Yeah. She was like, Daddy, I love him. Can you do your best impression of the Lion King opening,

the circle of life beginning? Yeah. Of course I can. It's not even a question. Just tell me to do it and I'll do it. Sorry. Off mic. Right into the fucking mic.

Yuck. Hello! It's a pen now. Let me figure it out. It's easy. You've got to get more grunt It's I want to do it again Hold on Now the point I wanted to make That was fucking sick The reason I asked you to do that Was point I wanted to make. That was fucking sick. That's the nuance.

That's the nuance. The reason I asked you to do that was because I wanted to make the point that I think the opening song in the second movie is more iconic. Okay. Play that one. Here we go. He lives in you. You sang along to this too.

This is a good song. He lives in me. Five second rule. I'll keep singing. He watches over. Oh, who's singing that? The mum? Dunno.

No, just some voice in the fucking sky. It's me, guys. What's this one? What's the second one? Oh, this is the good one. This is the song where they fucking piss Kovu off. This is how I feel about you when I catch you out telling lies. Go.

Deception. Disgrace. I haven't lied to you in quite a while. I'm in and out of LA all the time. That's not a lie. It's far. This is ridiculous. Can we stop fucking talking about The Lion King? I'm in and out of LA all the time. That's not a lie. This is ridiculous. Can we stop fucking talking about The Lion King?

I'm over it. This is the point of the show. We bring you that just means. I just thought we had that understanding. You know who my favourite characters are in The Lion King? Because they remind me of me and Jenna. Who? The hyenas?

Yeah. I thought you were going to say Timon and Pumbaa. Oh, is that a fat joke? I can see myself in Tamayn and Pumba. But I love, you know my saddest part about that film? It was when Mufasa. He dies. What the fuck was that?

Thank you. Thank you. Hold on. What do you reckon the sound effect is? Just tell me what you think this is, T-Dog. That's from Everybody Loves Raymond. Yeah, but what does it mean if I were to play it and go, oh. What's happening in the cartoon of this sound effect?

Shit, I don't fucking know. He always uses it to represent death. Say it again, say it again, say it again. But I think it sounds like someone winning a quiz. No, it's not winning a quiz. No, John. I was telling the story about Jenna's brother who sadly passed. It's sort of like, halo.

Oh, that's not that. It sounds too happy, doesn't it? Yeah, it's too happy. Really? No, but it's like a halo when you think of something good, like. Yeah, totally. That's a light bulb, dickhead. No, it's like she's an angel.

Exactly. Remember Mother Teresa? Yeah, you can use it there, but not when someone dies. Or like you're thinking back on a good route you've had. Remember Terrence? You know what I mean? I went to Rache's and had the best schnitzel. It's the ding.

It's the ding that throws it off. Felicia, you've woken up. No, sorry, that was Sylvia. Sylvia makes that noise. Your fighting fish is crying right now. Well, I have to say, in our podcast first, we're going to cross to Sylvia. She's a big...

Sylvia, you there? Is this what it's like inside the bag? Sylvia. That must be fucking chaotic. That's what Sylvia here, Sylvia Jeffries. You know what poor, poor Sam Armitage is? There's always a drone in her backyard, the poor bitch. And she's just...

Do you reckon it's true? And she's over it. Mitch crashes in the backyard. Where did you get this shit? Oh, look, I'll tell you the story. I stayed up late one night and I thought,

what does this show need? These are all sound effects that are catered to the team. Catered to my fans. It sounds just like Mary just got asked to leave the inn. They're like, no, there's no room. But we have a manger out back.

Yeah, and then an hour later, we have it. Mitch, did I tell you Aislinn's idea for a podcast? Oh, no. It's genius. So we did talk about this on Not My Cup of Tea, but if you're a listener and you remember that, let me tell you, it's progressed from there, the idea. She wasn't joking.

People thought I was joking. So the idea is one-sided phone calls. Oh, I do know this. I love it. But she just records her side. Hi, babe. Yeah, no, I'm good. But we've taken it to the next level.

Apparently I've taken it upon myself to be her producer. Yeah, he's a producer. Very difficult talent. So the idea now is that she's everyone's best friend, Aislinn. And she is on the other side of the phone during major events in history. Funny. So like, you know how Melania Trump copied Michelle Obama's speech? Yes.

She'll be like on the phone to Melania beforehand being like, Hey Mel. Oh my God, why are you nervous? It's just a speech. No, no, I'll help you write it. No, I'll Oh, my God. Why are you nervous? It's just a speech. No, no. I'll help you write it. No, I'll help you write it. What about the values?

And, like, she says Michelle Obama's speech and then goes, yeah, no, I just made that up. No, I thought of that. I thought of that. And then it turns out that it's Aislinn's fault that Melania Trump copied her speech. That's so good. And everything that goes wrong is your fault. I want it to get more and more absurd to the point where it's like, I'm talking to people who aren't even alive,

that there's no way we could have been friends. I'm like, Amelia, where are you? You're in the plane right now. You're going to be the first. Amelia? Oh, my God. Amelia, I can't hear you. You know what my favourite was?

She was like, no! And there's no consistency with the timeline, by the way. Like, Aislinn has no age. She could do pop culture events today and ages ago. So it's going to be called one-sided phone calls with the way. Like, Aislinn has no age. She could do pop culture events today and ages ago. So it's going to be called One-Sided Phone Calls with Everyone's Best Friend Aislinn. And my favourite was... Diana!

I'm not doing this one. I refuse to do it. I'm not doing it. Oh, Diana. I can't hear you. I think you're going through a tunnel. I can't hear you. No!

No! Get rid of that! Diana? I've got one. I've got one. I've got one. You can do that one. You're fucking insane. I've got one. I've got one. I've got one. You can do that one, you're fucking Diana. I've got one.

I've got one. Okay. All right, go, go. Hey, Anne? No! Get out of that roof. There's no service. No!

No! I can't hear you. Write it in the diary, babe. Write it in your diary, girl. No! I know you've got a diary. Annie. Annie, can I hear the footsteps?

Annie? Yeah, fuck off, Mitch. Okay, that's creepy. What about Helen Keller? No, I can't write braille over the phone, Annie. Annie, can I hear the footsteps? Annie? Yeah, fuck off, Mitch. What about Helen Keller? No, I can't write braille over the phone, hun. Can you hear me? No, of course you can't. That's horrendous. And so, yeah, this is what Asian's podcast is going to be.

She's going to be on the other end of the phone before or immediately after major historical events. They won't all be that awful, though. That's great. Hey, hey, hey. Yeah. John F f how are you buddy you know what you should do put the roof down yeah it looks so cool put the wind in your hair put jackie next to you yeah you know what you're so fucking true go past the school book depository because that'll do great for education voters. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. See you, J.F. Okay, bye. Say hi to Marilyn for me. See you, babe. Bye. He'll be fine. He'll be fine.

He'll be fine. It's a good idea. That's hilarious. I wish... What else? Can you do one? Aishan does them so well. What was one we were going to get you to do? I can't even think of them anymore.

We need to write this shit down. I know, but he to start writing shit down. Well, this is on audio, so we'll be able to go back and do it. No, but we've come up with so many good ones. Can you be on the phone to Judas when he's considering betraying Jesus and he's not sure whether he wants to do it or not? That's fucking good. No, I'm so too sorry.

I'm on the phone to both of them. Hey, sorry, I've got another call coming through. Jesus, there's nothing to worry about. No, it's fine. Why have you got a weird feeling about tonight? No, they're your boys. They got you. Like, nothing's going to hold on. There they'll be a painter there he'll paint the whole thing judas this happens at last supper yeah okay cool keep going did it happen right after last supper yeah

yeah yeah no but i don't know why i got a weird feeling like those are your boys like they got you like just go have a good meal they'll wash your fucking feet like it's the huge like you know hold on hold on hold on juju yeah what do you mean all right but no yeah no it's the you. Like, you know. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Juju, yeah? What do you mean? Juju. All right, bye. No, yeah. No, it's fine.

Okay. Okay, bye. Tell me how it goes. Why isn't Jesus picking up? He should be the PR agent to Jesus in the tomb. Yeah. No, no, babe. Wait it out three days.

It needs three days to breathe, hon. No, the sympathy will grow. Give it three days, Jay. Far out. That's so funny. I was going to say, Stop. We cannot put that on.

We cannot. That will not make it. That has to be cut. I'm not making any comment. How about you talk to Rapunzel, and she's been trapped at the top of the tower for eight days. Just let down your hair, hun. No.

You've got so much. Release your inhibitions. the rain on your skin like it's season one major historical events season two fairy tales funny season three you're in like you're in like cartoon movies like shrek and stuff funny like i get you're an ogre but just like tell her how you feel babe we all have all have layers. Stop fucking spitting out that line. Like, you're not special. Donkey, it's 1300. Like, you can date a dragon. It's fine. Can you speak to the dragon about whether it's weird or not that she got impregnated by a donkey?

Oh. Like, I don't think it's... Not the gear. No, but I don't think it's weird, like, cross-species wise. For me, it's weird. It's like, how did he get it in? Like, did it... How did it not fall out?

Like, did he just climb in and just deliver it himself? Like, did he just climb up your uterus? I just don't... I mean, so you are pregnant. I mean, at least they'll just fucking fall right out, right, babe? Am I right? Oh, who's that? It's Dreamworks.

Cease and desist. Okay, so what I'm saying, everyone, is that go tweet or Instagram Aislinn and bully her into doing this podcast. We've got the idea. I keep bringing home the mics and being like, hun, I'll make it really easy. You don't even have to come to the studio. We'll just do it at home.

And she literally comes over and then she goes, let's make cookies and then hopes I forget. And we just run out of time. Let's be honest. They're good cookies. They're great cookies. They're really good cookies. Aislinn's been putting been putting in don't give away my recipe mustaches oh we'll have to beat that disgusting i stopped myself i also have a new good one bleep that clinkers clinkers in

cooking because it could come up a bit we haven't tried that yeah that's my next one anything else anything else green clinkers suck Aren't they all the same shit? No. They're different flavours. Oh, the pink one's really good. I want you. Pink and yellow. Fire.

I want you to make this podcast. I want it to make it your New Year's resolution. Okay, I'll do it. So, no, I was going to make it. Dramatic. Oh, why do you always do this? Do I have, like, a fierce New Year's bed? Yeah.

I actually need Garrett. Yeah. Garrett. Is that a surname? It's Garrett, yeah. It's definitely Garnet. Huh? No, let's keep going. It's Garrett. Garrett. Oh, look, Alicia Garnet. Yeah. Garrett. Is that a surname? It's Garrett, yeah. It's definitely Garnet. Huh? No, let's keep going.

It's Garrett. Garrett. Alicia Garnet. Yeah. Do you solemnly swear by June 2019 to come back on this show? June 2019. June 2020. That was not a good time for me in my life.

Yeah, go on. Oh, shit. June 2020 to come back on this very show. Yeah. You can bring your friend with you if you like. Who? Alicia. Me. Oh. Come back on this very show you can bring your friend with you if you like who? Talisha come back on this show verbal contract and premiere

the first episode of your podcast on the end of this podcast I'd like to hope it'll be out before June 2020 but sure that's taking it quite far I'm thinking maybe just get it in writing yeah for sure but by June 2020 it but sure. Okay, well, that's setting it quite far. I'm thinking maybe just get in writing. Yeah, for sure. But by June 2020, it'll be out there.

Yeah. It's going to be called One-Sided Phone Calls with Everyone's Best Friend, Aislinn Garnett. Oh, I love that. Unless I buy it first. That's very good. I'm really excited. Why don't you go fuck yourself? Hey, what's your stance on this?

In last week's show, I was talking about how news reporters always agree with each other. It's like, and we cross now to Damien Ryan at the scene of a burglary and Damien, witnesses were stunned with what they saw. And you know how they always go, that's right, Deb. It's like, what if they just didn't agree one day and witnesses were stunned with what

they saw? I wouldn't say that, Deb, no. Here in Wattle Vale it's actually a common occurrence. They weren't that stunned at all by this burglary. No, Deb, they were quite underwhelmed. You be the reporter, ready? And we cross to Talisha Vescio, who is at the site of a factory fire. And Talisha, workers were lucky to escape alive.

No, really, I don't think it was that lucky. The fire was only in a really small part of the factory. Ah, the helicopter crashed, you big girl. Me dead. Oh, thank God. We'll cross back to the newsroom. I love it. I love it.

I love it. They were like, thank God. What do you reckon, Koshi? Mitchell, Talisha's death was really tragic, isn't that right? It depends who you ask, Aislinn Mitchell, Talisha's death was really tragic, isn't that right? It depends who you ask, Aishan, really. Let's ask Koshy. You've got shit to do, Mitch. I'm actually worried.

We should go. I've got so much shit to do, but I want to do one thing. We did it last week on the show. What's the haps? And it is we make up a commercial on the spot. I think you'd be great at it, and I think we should try it. But it can't be for something that you can actually buy. Because my agent was, is it just me or is this commercial not clear?

What was it? Is it just me or is this commercial absolutely ridiculous? Can you find it? No, it's cleared out. I did check before. So it was an ad for eggs. No particular brand. Right.

Australian eggs. And you know those ads that are like, get some pork on your fork. Yeah. It's not asking you to pay for money for a certain brand. So we did an ad for hair and an ad for trees. Yeah. Okay. I got it. We're not asking you to pay for money for a certain brand. So we did an ad for hair and an ad for trees. We're not asking you to buy it. We're just raising awareness. The slogan for trees was, don't be a fat

lad, plant money in your backyard. It was really good. So this week, we can just make it up. So Jenna will give us the topic. Give us one, Jan. You do one to lead by example. Okay, cool. Jenna, what's the topic? The topic will be dotted lines on the road. So like the lines You do one to lead by example. Okay, cool. Jenna, what's the topic? The topic will be... Yeah.

Dotted lines on the road. So, like, the lines in the middle of the road? Yeah. Oh, that's good. Okay, okay. That's quite nice. Okay. Yeah, okay.

Coming home from a late-night trip. On the way back from a school excursion. Maybe it's a first date ride. The lines are there for you. In the middle of the road, they're there. On the side, they're there. Australian road lines guiding you home there we go

you know what I mean it doesn't have to be anything it's just brilliant it's just that's the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard I don't know how it happens

but it just comes to me so it's like we're not necessarily saying like they're not even perks we're just saying that they're there it doesn't have to rhyme either

like it just Australian skipping was so bad it's like over yoga with your friends. Have you ever done like a really serious one? That'd be like, like it's like a PSA kind of thing. Oh, we could try. Coffins.

Coffins. No, not even like about a serious topic. Just be like grass. Yeah, you do grass. It's always been there. Who wants to try? Go Aislinn. Should I do it?

Okay, here we go. This is a bit sexy. Shut up, Talisha. Sorry. It's always been there. Will it always be there? You can always rely on grass. You cut the grass, but it never cuts you.

A soft spot to sit down any day, anywhere. Get some grass on your ass.ralian grass that's good get some grass on your fucking good one that was fun i like this game this is fun who wants to do one so do one for tinsel oh got it all right you ready tinsel or what about tupperware no particular brand no. Tupperware is a brand. Oh, is it? Okay, tinsel. Tinsel. Are we feeling good?

No, you can't have prep time. That's the thing. No, no. Okay, here we go. All right. Fuck, I don't know. Christmas. It's a jolly time.

What are you doing with the tree this year? Consider tinsel? Not beads. Not pine cones. Fuck those baubles. Get some tinsel.

This Christmas. Aussie tinsel. Aussie tinsel. Has to be Australian. Australian tinsel. Aussie tinsel. It has to be Australian. Australian tinsel. Aussie tinsel. Mitch, do you want to do one? I'm not good at it. Jenna?

Yeah, no, go. Go. Give it a go. Give it a crack, Mitch. Come on. Okay, I've got one. Give it a go. Go.

We have to reuse music now. I'm going to be doing key rings. Okay, cool. Key rings? Cute. We have to end it because I've got to do my radio show. Yeah, Dom. Oh, do you have a radio show?

Fuck off. Oh, this is the original one. Plant one in your backyard. I've got nothing. You do it. Key rings, go. Put them on your house key. The spare one.

Put them on your car key. The main one. Put them underneath the front dump mat. Give it to your uncle Pat. Australian key rings, fun for me. Australian key rings, fun for you. Get them anywhere. Maybe even at the local zoo. Australian key rings.

Nice. Yes! Fuck, I don't have that skill. That was rough. Oh, there you go! Australian key rings. Australian key rings. Jenna, do you want to go?

Come on, Jen. One crack, go, go, go. Even if it's bad, it's all good. You've got it. Jenna, you're doing one for doorbells. All right, here we go. Oh, fuck. Doorbells is good's bad, it's all good. You've got it. Jenna, you're doing one for doorbells. All right, here we go. Oh, fuck. Doorbells is good.

Nice music. This is good music. Whenever you feel it. Ding, ding, ding. Dong, dong, dong. I'm at the door just waiting to go on. That's it. Australian doorbells. Australian doorbell.

Australian doorbell. You know what? That's all it needs. Like, it tells you what it does. It tells you where it goes. And you've got the brand. Ding, ding, ding. Dun, dun, dun.

Fuck. On that note, we should get out of here, guys. Holyung, dung, dung. Fuck. On that note, we should get out of here. Holy fuck, Jenna. That was incredible. Thanks for having us. That's a pleasure. Thank you. Anytime.

Everyone, make sure you go check us out on the Not My Cup of Tea Christmas reunion. I just spat a bit at Eminem. I'm so sorry. I'm fucking crying. But for Mitch and I, if you're not going to bother listening to Not My Cup of Tea Christmas special, Merry Christmas. We'll catch you again next year. And thank you for listening this year. It's a new podcast. Listeners are going

down steadily, so we're doing the right thing. We love having you on. It is a new podcast, so I have to say, Jenna, Mitch, thank you for everything. It's been fun, and we're back next year. Great. We'll be back next year. I'm looking forward to it. Great. Guys, lovely to actually be with you face-to-face. Thank you, Lyle. I mean, we're this deep in the podcast

now. We are actually quite close friends. I don't hate not my cup of coffee, but I resent the fact that you had a podcast with Mitch. I'm like the new lover and you're the exes, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's all right. But we've got kids together, so we still have to communicate. Exactly. But I'm kind of like, it's fine, but don't flirt.

You know what I mean? Don't have chemistry. It's been a pleasure this year. We'll see you in 2020. Can't wait. Jenna. See ya. Ding ding ding Bye bye

Is it just me? Love the podcast But want more In between episodes? You can follow the show online At couple of mitches