Is It Just Me? - #130: Dogs Out with Starr McGowan

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

Starr McGowan - the queen of comedy, lifestyle & chaos - is our guest host this week!Follow @starr on TikTok and @starrmcg on Instagram.In this episode:Sprite is cancelled (11:09)Starr’s sink hole accident (16:51)Coffee shits (23:17)Period shits (29:27)Things better than Drugs & Dick (35:33)‘Sound of Silence’ prank call on Millie Ford (40:06)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (47:23)Hit us up @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Would you like to try a vape? Why would you take up something that is going to be addictive and expensive? I think for people... I'll tell you why. Yeah. Because you're young and stupid. Some things make more sense than others.

You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy and I just don't know how you figure that's going to happen when you're ordering a chocolate mousse. No. You know, I had it in the car on the way home and I didn't have a spoon. So I was like an armadillo trying to get ants out of a hole. I was like... Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood.

Being fingered is an awful sensation. You haven't been fingered by the right person. Goodness me. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of bitches. Hi, it's Jenna. Please don't forget to include my name in the opener this season. I'm sorry.

Ta-da! Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, you! Hi, you. I've got a bit of a spring in my step today, can I just say? I can tell. Normally, I'm the one complimenting you, saying how good you look, but you're doing it yourself. You don't need me.

No, I wasn't talking about my appearance. Oh, you do look good. I don't know. Life's going well. Yeah, well. Finally found a new rental. Ha ha. I beat you.

Yeah, congrats. You did beat me. I'm moving very soon. Fuck you. It's so tough to find a rental with everything you want and the air con and the beds and the backyard and everything. Yeah. It's tough.

You've got to do the rent fairy thing that I did. I saw that. Who or what is a rent fairy? You know how they've got like buyer's agents? Yeah. It's basically that, but for renters. Oh, that's what I did. I saw that. Who or what is Rent Ferry? You know how they've got like buyer's agents? Yeah. It's basically that, but for renters. Oh, that's what I need. But yeah, within two weeks she got the job done.

And what, she just sent you the link and you were like, yep, or no, or yep. Yeah, they'll go to inspections for you if you need them to. I didn't because I don't work full time. Oh, yeah. And yeah, definitely recommend if people are struggling to house hunt. Rent Ferry. Go give her a call. Hey, we've got another fairy with us now.

One pixie to another. I know. Our normal third wheel, Pricekeeper Jenna. She's away today, but we've got a fill-in third wheel. Hello, Star McAllister. It's the two-star fairy. I got some star music. Oh, yes.

Wait, is that Paris Hilton? This is Paris. Wow. I've been wanting to get star on the podcast for ages, haven't I? Oh, truly. You got me on to star. Did I? Yeah, you sent me stars.

One of the videos you did, you're a comedian. What is your brand? It's Comedy, Chaos, and Lifestyle. Comedy, Lifestyle, and Chaos. That's it. Oh, I love that so much. It's got a ring to it, right? It really does.

Can I say, when I first met you, I kind of did judge a book by its cover. Because she seems quite pure and angelic, doesn't she? She's innocent. I'm absolutely feral. Yeah, you are. My respect levels went through the roof after I found out you're a bit of a gronk. What's the gronk? I thought you'd be so PG and play it safe.

And then I started following you and I was like, oh, I love it. Listen to the foul mouth you've got on her. You replied to my story once, you're like, I like Bogan angry star. I'm like, yeah, she's here to stay. Yeah, I do like, oh, I love it. Listen to the foul mouth you've got on her. You replied to my story once. You're like, I like Bogan, angry star. I'm like, yeah, she's here to stay. Yeah, I do like that. But also, star is a porn star name. Yeah, it is. It is.

Yeah. My middle name's also Anise. So star Anise, like the fucking Chinese five. No, it legit is. It legit is. Star Anise, that's my name. And your Christian name is star? Yeah.

With a double R, of course. With a double R. Do you have siblings? I do. I have many. Okay, so I'm one of seven kids. With a double R. Do you have siblings? I do. I have many. Okay, so I'm one of seven kids. Oh, my God. We've all got fucked names.

I was about to say, unless I'm confusing you with someone else, I swear her siblings have cooked names as well. No, they do. I love it. Rebel has Rebel and Anarchy and Chaos is the kids' names. Yeah. Okay, so we've got Crystal, Star, Kaya, Bodhi, Shiloh, Sarnie and Indy. Actually, they're not cooked.

They're quite lovely. They're quite lovely. They're quite lovely. They're quite lovely. They're quite lovely. Yeah, truly. What are your parents' names? Tina and Roger.

Roger and Tina. Roger and Tina. Tina and. Tina and. Did they ever tell you where Star with a double R came from? Well, okay. So apparently there's a Shirley Temple movie and one of the characters, it's Captain January, that's the name of the movie, and her name is Star.

Okay. And ironically, I had really curly hair like Shirley Temple when I was a kid as well. So, I don't know, but wouldn't it be awkward if my mum named me Star and I was like really shy? Yeah, that would be a goddamn. That would have been fucked. She was like manifesting my career for me. She's like, go on, babe, someone's got to do it. I'm like, don't worry, mum, I've got this.

But my kind of running joke on Instagram is that I've told everyone that my siblings' names are like paprika, oregano, thyme. That's what I thought. And Italian seasoning. That's great. And people are actually believing it. And I'm like, I'm not going to tell them what their real names are. The seven secret herbs and spices because there's seven of them. The Colonel is screaming right now. I think you'll find there's 11 of those secret herbs and spices.

Isn't there seven? Oh, my God. I've got secret siblings. Oh, yeah. Or is it 12? No, I think it's 11. Hey, Jenna and spies. Isn't there seven? Oh, my God. I've got secret siblings. Oh, y'all. Or is it 12? No, I think it's 11. Hey, Jenna, can you – oh, no. Jenna normally Googles stuff first.

Hi, I'm Jenna. So we'll never know the answer. It's great to have you here. Oh, my God. I'm so excited to be here. We're going to be doing a Sound of Silence with Star coming up. Oh, I'm nervous. A little prank call to one of your mates.

See how long it takes them to hang up. See how long you can string them along in total silence. It's very awkward, but I fucking love awkward. I'm not good with awkward. I just want to put it on record as well. I'm open to being pranked by anyone. If anyone is listening and they feel like pranking me, because I feel like I never get to be involved in pranks.

I'm always the prank star. Yeah. I've done countless podcasts over the years and I've never been pranked by any of my co-hosts. And I've always planted the seed with this one over here and said, when are you going to prank me? He just never has. Never has. That's not interesting.

I'm not into pranks. It just doesn't get me going. It doesn't make me laugh. I hate pranks. I don't like hearing someone not aware that they're being pranked. I'm not talking like evil ones. I do like harmless little ones. If I was going to prank you, I'd get a bucket of pig blood

and pour it on your head when you're walking to your new apartment. I'm vicious. That's not. I do like harmless little ones. If I was going to prank you, I'd get a bucket of pig blood and pour it on your head when you're walking into your apartment. I'm vicious. See, that's not funny. That's not funny. That's what I mean. Also coming up, and is it just you from one of our listeners, but you can get star. Is it still star MG?

MCG. MCG. MCG for McGowan. Oh, the Melbourne Cricket Ground. Yeah, yeah. That's me. It's named after me. Congratulations.

I actually knew that and someone brought it up on someone. What the fuck is a MCG? Yeah. But some say mcg but i say mcg oh star mcg on instagram that actually does have a nice ring to it star mcg it's like nanny mcfee you'd be you'd be such a good babysitter you'd be a babysitter that i'd get a fall in love with oh my god like 13 year old mitch would get so in love with stop it mcgee i actually used to babysit heaps when i was young guy one time one of the dads was so fucking hot yeah and it was like oh my god fantasy vibes but like nothing ever happened oh was he into you or were you a child well i mean i was a child so hopefully not yeah what do you reckon people would know you as on

instagram or tiktok they're like oh you know that chick um because i'm the guy with the long hair that's how people if they can't remember my name oh I'm the guy with the long hair. That's how people, if they can't remember my name, oh, you know that guy with the long hair on TikTok? I think TikTok, people probably know me as the Eastern Suburbs basic bitch chick because I have this series where I'm like, Eastern Suburbs basic bitch chick. They're so good, yeah. And I just take the piss out of people who live in Bondi

or the Eastern Suburbs. I've got an Eastern Suburbs mum character as well. She goes to Pilates. She drives a Range Rover. So good. Her son's name is Preston Summer Apple. I mean, it's not far from the truth. It's my siblings and all of our names.

So, you know, she's really just observing life and turning it into content. True. Do people ever refer to you as like, oh, that chick that looks like Margot Robbie? Oh, you know, sometimes. You do skew a bit, Margs. Yeah, sometimes. More than a bit. Do I look like shit today?

Is that why? Yeah, you have in the past looked like Margot Robbie. Do you know what? I saw Mitch Coombs and he's like, oh, you rocked out without your costume today. And I was like, what's my costume? I realised I wasn't wearing any makeup. My hair wasn't done. And I was like, oh, fuck, I'm ugly.

What a bitch. I've shown myself. No, I was like, oh, it's nice to see you all stripped back. You were just like wearing a puffer jacket, ponytail hat on. I was like, look at her. I had no clothes on. I was completely stripped back. She was butt naked.

Yeah, and I was like, get out again. You can't keep doing this. This is a podcast, so I can understand. It's like, look at her. I had no clothes on. I was completely stripped out. She was butt naked. Yeah. And I was like, get out again. You can't keep doing this. This is a podcast, so I can understand. That's like me and my radio job. I wear slides. When I have a guest in, I'm a grub. So I only dress up. I've dressed up for you. Well, I got the dogs out today. I've got my toes out. I've got my slides on. The dogs. I love it when people refer to that. Is it the toes? The toes, yeah. That's the dogs. Yeah, the dogs out. Who let the dogs out?

Oh my God. Before we start, I have to tell you that, Christ on a bike, I saw your Insta story with your beautiful Frank Green water bottle with a little cocky in it. You had a cockroach in the mat. Did you see this, Mitch? No. What happened? I believe you addressed me as cockroach girl when I walked into the studio, so that's me. Is that what you meant?

I actually said cock girl and I meant something else. So I'm going to change my bio to cockroach girl. Okay, pretty much what happened is I have an emotional support water bottle, my Frank Green, my beloved. It's like my baby. And I went to take a sip because, you know, hydration is key. Go to take a sip out of the little straw. There was a fucking cockroach in there.

And it was still moving. It had, like, somehow wedged itself into the straw. And then I'm thinking, holy fuck fuck have i been drinking cockroach water for like the past god knows how long that has happened and i just like chucked it into the sink and soaked it and i'm like i haven't drank from it i'm like actually still traumatized have you ever actually looked inside those frank green water bottles because i just refill them refill them and then i smear pawpaw like all over them sometimes i look inside the lid and go fuck i need to clean this more often it gets a bit rancid in there. It gets disgusting.

Yeah. Especially because the straw is clear, so you can see all the little bits. It's pretty feral. Yeah, you've got to clean that thing thoroughly, otherwise it will turn foul really quick. Yeah, the one I bought had a fucking pipe cleaner in it. I'm not going to fucking pipe clean my drink bottle, but now I just might. I love that idea. It's a good idea.

So who knows? Maybe I've been drinking cockroach water for the past week. You do have a blow about you, cockroach water for the past week. You do have a glow about you, so it's probably the new thing. Well, cockroach girl, Margot Robbie girl, Easton Summers girl, whatever you want to call her, just go follow her on TikTok, at star, double R. Double R. Does it piss you off that your Insta handle doesn't match your TikTok handle?

Oh, my God, yeah, it fucking kills me. Me too. Yeah, I really want to change it, but some other random person has the star handle. Yeah. Like, is it important for you to have that? Do you reckon I could, like, do a cashie and just give him, like, a hundred bucks? Well, I've tried to do that.

I've spoken about this many times. I want the official Mitch handle. And a gay Insta model from Santa Monica Beach has it. So I'm never fucking getting that thing. But I offered $250, then $500, and the current price is $1,000 US dollars. That's not too bad. But in Australian dollars, what's that? It would be $1, US dollars. That's not too bad. But in Australian dollars, what's that?

It would be $1,500, $1,600, maybe. Is it really worth it? People have spent money on worse things, surely. Is it like a business expense? Yeah, of course I could run it on as a business expense. But I think if you change your handle, don't you lose your blue tick? Isn't that how it works? So you've got to be careful with the handle. I actually don't have a blue tick, so I'm probably going to step up this conversation.

So do it now. Do it now before you. Oh, do you not have one? No, it's a bit pov-o. Mitch, why do we get Star on the show? She doesn't have a blue tick. I think you'll find I got you your blue tick. You did not.

I did. Yeah, but of course I am deserving of a blue tick. Yeah, but okay, wow. You're just going to take that favour away from me? No, I'm not taking the favour. I would say. I would spit in the right ears and you're very grateful at the time. No, I'm just saying, if you wanted to get the cockroach from Star's water bottle of

blue tick, it wouldn't happen. I didn't say that it would. I just said, I got you the blue tick, remember? So I've got power. I can do it. Thank you. Okay. Well, Mitchell sent an email.

It does work. Can you believe the ego I have to deal with? Maybe they'll change it to like the new model of Twitter. Didn't Elon introduce a new thing where you can pay for your verification? Isn't it rent? You have to rent it? Oh, really? And Jesus Christ himself is now verified on Twitter.

I'm not kidding. Rightly so. All right, if it's your first time listening, welcome to Is It Just Me, everybody. We start the show the same every week. Two idjams, two Is It Just Mes. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's star. You've brought one, I believe.

I have, yes. Oh, my God. Thank God. Yeah. Also, we have one from one of our listeners in Is It Just You. Shall I go first? Shall I kick this thing off? Go for it, Dan.

All right, let's jump in. Is it just me or? Do you also know the real reason Sprite has ditched the green bottle? What do you mean? Sprite have ditched their signature green bottle. Have they? Yeah. What is it now?

It's clear. I haven't seen that before. I thought that was just the skinny one. No, I'm going to pull it up. The skinny one. What do you mean the skinny one? The sugar-free one. Oh, the skinny one.

Literally, the skinny one. Yeah. No, no, no. So they've changed it from their iconic green Sprite to clear because it was too visible in pollution in the ocean. Oh, fuck. What? Because the only real bottle that has a colour,

every other bottle is clear, but Sprite stood out so much in the sea and in the carcasses of dead whales that they went, fuck, this is bad for our brand. So they changed to clear. Where did you hear that? TikTok. Listen, I'm going to make this point as I take a sip of Schweppes lemonade. Yes. Sprite have lost the fucking plot. Sorry.

Yeah, there's a lot going on with Sprite. Have a look, Midge. That's it behind you. So that's the new one. It's still got the green sticker. Yeah, the sticker's green, but the bottle is clear. But they've now changed Sprite to Lemon Lime Flavoured Sprite, and that's just the normal Sprite that we've always known. And then

they've changed the name of Lift to Sprite Lemon Flavoured. And I'm like, that's confusing, because I thought Sprite and that's just the normal Sprite that we've always known. And then they've changed the name of Lift to Sprite Lemon Flavoured. And I'm like, that's confusing because I thought Sprite was lemonade. Wait, Sprite's gone? Lift is gone? Yeah, look, they've now changed it to Sprite Lemonade Flavoured. They're trying to be Coke where they have the range. You know how Coke has vanilla, diet, no sugar. They're now trying to make a Sprite range.

So they've got Sprite Lemon Lime, which is just normal fucking Sprite. And then they've got Sprite Lemon, which is what Lift used to be. You're right. So they've got Sprite Lemon Lime, which is just normal fucking Sprite, and then they've got Sprite Lemon, which is what Lyft used to be. You're right. What the fuck is Sprite Plus? Is that a subscription service? Do I have to subscribe to Sprite? Stream now. Look at it.

Only on Sprite Plus. Yeah, yeah. For $12.99, you too can enjoy the lemony flavors. I would never agree to be a Sprite Plus exclusive podcast. I'm off them at the moment. Oh, my God. Imagine that. Okay, I thought Lyft to be a Sprite Plus exclusive podcast. I'm off them at the moment. Oh, my God. Imagine that. Okay, I thought Lyft was still a thing and that was just like Sprite's version of Lyft.

No, they've bought it. They've bought Lyft and just made it their own. And, like, it looks shit. I will say, Star, we were talking about this before we recorded, but McDonald's have removed full-strength sugar Sprite, is that right? They only have skinny Sprite available now, which is the sugar-free. And it just doesn't hit the same. When you're like super fucking hungover on a Sunday, you need your Mackey's Sprite.

Yeah. Because it was all right hay that gave me the hangover hack. If you have a McDonald's Sprite, it'll bring you back to life. I only had two weeks to use that hack. And then they ditched it and they only have Sprite no sugar at Macca's, which makes no sense because they have the range of Coke. They've got Coke, Coke No Sugar. Why does it have to be one or the other?

And I actually emceed Macca's function recently and one of their top dogs was saying, yeah, we've recently launched Sprite Zero Sugar and there's a really good uptake, really good feedback and I'm sitting there biting my lip thinking, you have fucking ruined my hangovers. Corporate bullshit. I know.

If you drink it out of the bottle when you're hungover, it doesn't hit the same because a lot of the time it's like flat as well. Yeah. I don't know what it is about Maccas as well. I even one time got a Hungry Jack Sprite. Still didn't hit the same. It did not. They must be doing something because they use the concentrates, right?

They use the sugary concentrate. Then they add, because if you watch them pour it in the machine, it's like white, black, white, black, white, black. Like you see the breakup of the syrup and the carbonated water. I love it. We should start a hashtag like Sprite is over party or bite me, Sprite. Sprite is over party. Sprite me.

Sprite me. We can work on it. You're good at rhymes and shit. What else? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sprite. Bite me, Sprite. Oh, yeah.

Spite me. Like spite. Yeah. Spite, Sprite. Don't be Spriteful. That's it. Don't be Sprite. Bite me, Sprite. Oh, yeah. Spite me, like spite. Yeah. Spite, Sprite. Don't be Spriteful. That's it. Don't be Spriteful. Don't be Spriteful Mackers because it's got to address Mackers, right?

That's got to be our campaign. Sprite, stop fucking around. I'm not loving it. What about that? Hashtag I'm just not fucking doing it. Once again, I'm taking a sip from my Schweppes. Thank you, Schweppes. Cheers.

Apologies in advance if I burp. Look at Schweppes. 1783. They were fucking making this concoction before Australia was even fucking settled. Imagine having a Sprite back in those days. That would be like, you know, they say, what would you give a pilgrim if you saw this? This would kill a pilgrim. No, 1783 was a while ago.

But also, look, Schweppes. Natural lemon flavor. Natural. Yeah. Not lemon lime, which is what Sprite are claiming their lemonade is. That is such a lie. It'd be like 0.5% lime. Yeah.

Bullshit. You just want lime so you can use the green. Fuck off. And now not use the green. Yeah. Use the clear. Look at this. Jacob Schweppes brought liquid to life.

This is true. In 1783. This is on their bottle. How are you reading that? In 1783 with the creation of bubbles. Oh, so this cunt thinks he created the bubble. Cocky piece of shit. Bottling the magic of Schweppes-e-vescence.

Schweppes-e-vescence. No, I like that. The word Schweppes is a bit of an odd one. Especially with my lisp. It's not easy. Imagine waking up and telling your wife in 1783 that you invented the bubble. I did a fart in the bathroom. I reckon I'm onto something.

She's like, maybe add a bit of lemon, babe. I think people will be into it. Do you reckon there are any kids called Schweppes? Schweppes, come here, you little fuckwit. Get your hand off the light switch. I'll Schwepp you around here. Yeah, for sure. There has to be.

Pepsi, get inside now. Sprite, no sugar. I'm sick of your shit. No, it would get inside now. Sprite, no sugar. I'm sick of your shit. No, it'd be Sprite, middle name, no sugar. Oh, yeah, true, true, true. With like a hyphen as well. Yeah, yeah. Of course.

My daughter and my son kissed. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. All right. Well, that's my agent, really. I just fucking Sprite. I'm done. Sprite is cancelled.

Yeah. They're being Spriteful. They're being Spriteful. Sprite is over party. Hashtag, I'm not loving it. I'm not loving it. All right. Well, that's my agent, really. I just fucking Sprite. I'm done. Sprite is cancelled. They're being Spriteful. They're being Spriteful. Sprite is over party. Hashtag, I'm not loving it. I'm not loving it. All right, Mitch, you ready for your agent? Yep, hit me.

Is it just me or? He finally figured out the key to self-care. I'm looking at you, Si. I reckon you're going to get a kick out of this. Finally. Once again, I saw a TikTok the other day and it just resonated. I i was like oh my god this it's so true i'm gonna play you what she said okay yeah okay i think i finally figured out the secret to self-care and the secret is do it for the aesthetic i am so fucking serious you know why vision boards work it's because pinterest

did it first motherfucker if you aren't thinking to yourself 10 times a day this is aesthetic as fuck what i'm doing then you're doing it wrong. I woke up this morning feeling like the greasy potato chip crumbs at the bottom of the bag, but do you know what I did? I did some stretches and some affirmation. I filed my nails while I was waiting for my Aztec clay mud mask to dry. Took a cold shower like a psychopath. Did my makeup, changed my outfit like six times. Just to sip my ass here, drink some fancy tea out of my fancy tea cup and draw this picture of a rabbit with a unicorn horn.

All the while listening to the Smiths. And you know what I thought to myself? I am the main character in a John Green book right now. So you want to be happy or at least convince yourself for a short amount of time that you are manifest your most recent Pinterest board and be just a little bit delusional. I was like, oh, that's bang on. Yeah. Self-care is just doing it for the aesthetic. Oh, true.

Pretend someone's watching you when they're not and you trick yourself into being cheered up. Oh, God. I only wear those under eye gel things because they look cool. I don't know what the fuck they do. I really don't find those things effective. I think I said that last week. Yeah, they look good.

They look good. Yeah, they often have sensitive skin, so they kind of make my face burn a little bit. Yeah, I don't like them. They look good. They look fantastic. I'm with you on that. It really is about looking, pretending as if you're being filmed by a reality crew your entire life.

And you bet your ass this new place I'm moving into, I'm going to make it so aesthetically pleasing. So I'll just be like joyous all the time. My current place, not so much. I live with a grot. Yes. So it's not possible. But I see you posting shit star on Instagram.

Like, oh, I'm off to the beach before my workout on the beach. And I'm like, I mean, I can't fault her, even though it sounds horrible. She does it for the aesthetic. And I bet she feels good after. I don't work out on the beach. I've been going to the beach in the mornings. But I can totally relate to that video. Because, like, I get to get my sexy Instagram pic when I'm there of the sunrise. And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm so much better than everyone.

What time do you go to the beach? Well, if I go sunrise, it'd be like 5.30 but today I went there at like 6.45, 7. And what do you do? Just walk? I just walk. I just listen to podcasts. It sounds lovely. I just walk. It's actually beautiful. Grab a coffee and then I'll go to the gym. Like, I mean, I'm very lucky I don't have to rush to get anywhere

at 9am. Yeah. So. What do you do? What time do you go to bed? In an ideal world, like 9.30. Yeah. That is so early. I know. I would love to get back to that. I'm on air at 9.30.

That's my, like my best self, my like best hot girl version of myself would be bed at nine, wake up at five. I love that. It's like you're off to a dawn service or something. Mommy says lights off. Hold on. Is that new? Is that like a new thing you've been like for

a wellness kick no i just like i've always been a morning person and i feel like if i ever want to come back to like myself in terms of self-care and everything like that that is like what i do just get back into those habits that make me really happy i don't just do it for the aesthetic it genuinely makes me really happy like having the sun on my face. The endorphins and all that. It's just beautiful. It's all those little moments that you've already achieved in the morning and you set up for a good day after that. I actually want to start doing more of a routine like that once I move because I'm going to be living near this park on a hill that overlooks the city.

And I'm like, oh, my God, getting up early and going for a walk there, that'll really set me on the right track for the day, I reckon. Oh, yeah. My local walk is gorgeous and it just makes me so happy when I can get to do it. When I lived in the CBD of Sydney, I used to get up every morning at 6am and go for a run around Darling Harbour and I loved it. Now, it sounds like actual hell trying to pull that off. I don't think I could ever do that, but it's like doing it for the aesthetic and then all

of a sudden I was really fucking cute and loved it. Oh my God, if only I could see myself as a passerby when I'm walking because I've got my music on. I'm slaying the world. I'm walking on beat. Hot. I look hot. But if I could just for one moment remove myself from my skeleton

and watch, it would be this gangly monster, Demogorgon stomping down fucking Black Waddle Bay, sweating and I breathe so loudly. People look at me when I'm like, oh, they must know who I am. No, it's because they sound like I'm having an asthma attack. Like, does he need help? Truly. Everyone glances at me.

They love me. But no, I'm just dying. When I'm walking along the beach, sometimes I pretend I'm doing a catwalk. I literally just pretend I'm a character in a movie and I'm like, everyone's looking at me because I'm so fucking hot and mysterious right now. But in reality, yeah, I'm probably just like walking like an absolute fuckwit. Yeah, no one can walk on sand. I was going to say, do you walk on the path near the beach?

No, no, no, no. Not on the sand. Oh, thank God. Fuck that. I was going to say, that is not aesthetic. Sorry. No, I cannot deal with sand in my socks. Like that, the feeling of that just gives me the ick.

It's just not really my vibe. I know. And you have to walk on the hard sand that's been touched by the water. There's such a fine line. There's like 30 centimeters of like, like, like the really hard stuff, but then the water can get your shoes. But then if it's too dry, it's fucked. And you're like half sinking into the sand every second step.

You know, I was at the beach in Rose Bay the other week and there was a fucking sinkhole on the beach. I was walking with my friend. I thought they were like a myth. No. Okay. Yeah. So did I, but this was so terrifying.

So that morning we'd had a conversation about how we hate the feeling of having wet socks don't ever put that out into the universe because the universe is fucking listening so we're walking on this beach and i'm like come on babe let's go back to the car and i turn around and she's fallen into a sinkhole and her right leg the sand is literally up to her thigh and she's kind of stuck in the sand half hanging out being like help me help me i naturally just start pissing myself laughing because it was a funny filming it i would i did and then i fell into a sinkhole as well so then we're both stuck in these sinkholes and i literally almost wet i think i did wet myself a little bit because i was laughing but

then i started to panic because you know in all the movies if you fall in quicksand you don't move don't move because it'll suck you in and then then I was like, I'm going to get sucked in. It's a movie star. That's not real. I'm going to be sucked down to like the depths of the earth right now. Anyways, we made it out. But sinkholes are real. Oh, my God.

That would have been all over. That would have been front page news in Rose Bay. Can you just imagine? That would have been the biggest thing to happen all year. It was aesthetic. Yes. That's a main character. That doesn't happen to a B-plot character.

That happens to the star of the film. True. And because you were the main character in that moment, everyone's like, will she make it? She's our favourite. She can't die. She's too hot. Is it just me?

Got something on your mind? Hit up at coupleofmitches on Instagram to get yourself on the show. All right, it's time for an Is It Just You? This is where we throw it over to you listening. We give you a chance to have an Is It Just Me of your own, something you've noticed you hate or appreciate. Of course, we're joined by the lovely Star. Hello, Star.

Hi. I get music for every occasion. I love that. It's our thing. I feel like there are a lot of options for my name as well in terms of music. What else could I have done? 1,000 Stars by Natalie Bassingthwaite. Yeah.

Is that it? Or Shooting Stars by Bag Raiders. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why can't I think of any songs that star in it now? What's that Pitbull one? Party Like a Rock Star. Oh, yeah. Like a porn star vibes.

Yeah, yeah. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. What's this? Yeah, that's an obvious. Oh, this porn star vibes. Twinkle, twinkle, little star. What's this? Yeah, that's an idea. Oh, this is Stevie Wonder, Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Me. No one gets that. Their parents probably would. Knowing their history, they'd be like, that's our girl!

You're obviously in Prize Keeper Jenna's seat today. Whenever someone comes on for an Is It Just You, if they hear themselves on the show, they get a prize from her. I don't think we need to make a Prize Keeper star, do we? No, not for today. Jenna can still look after that. I've got a half-empty can of Schweppes. That's quite nice.

Do you have any merch you can give out? Donate a star? Yeah, a cockroach. A used drink bottle. She's currently ingesting it, but you'll get it in about a day. So whoever we hear from today, make sure you hit up Prize Keeper Jenna. Who have we got? We've got Alex.

This is Is It Just You? Hi, guys. Love the show. So is it just me or does coffee just help make you shit? Like I can literally go days without like having a bowel movement and then you just have one sip of coffee and you run into the toilet. I don't know. I was driving on my way home and was thinking, like, wow, if I didn't have coffee, like,

who knows how my stomach would be. I'd be fucked. I was driving home. I thought, you know who needs to hear this? The Mitches. And I appreciate that they thought of us. Thank you, Alex. That's how you all should be.

Listen, no, I agree. Like I am very regular with my bowel movements and it is always after my morning coffee, like 11am. I was going to say, I've not ever gone a couple of days. Have you? No. Oh, God, no. No, I'm super regular as well.

Alex, I feel like you might want to get that checked out, mate. Yeah, that sounds like a concern actually. It's a metamucil, mate. But definitely the morning coffee does get the floodgates open. I don't actually like that though. Alex was talking about it as if it's such a helpful thing that coffee does. I hate it when I have a coffee and I'm like

this might give me the runs in a bit. Give it half an hour. I'm on a green juice thing. Actually plain celery juice. A litre of plain celery juice every morning. Why? It's like a little detox. It's the first thing you have in the morning and you don't eat anything for half an hour after and it's meant to cleanse your liver out. I don't know.

What's wrong with your liver? Nothing. You barely drink. No, no, no. But my cholesterol is mildly high. So my dad did it and his cholesterol went back to zero. It's some hooby dooby shit, but it worked for him. So I'm drinking a litre of celery juice every morning.

As a meal replacement? Like that's breakfast? No, no, no. I eat like an hour after. If I'm hungry, but most of the time I'm not. Anyway, that shit goes straight through me and I shit you not, it just comes straight out as celery juice. See, I hate that.

I don't like that at all. Not even an hour. You don't even feel anything. But it surely stings your bum hole a little bit. It is. Yeah, there you go. It's a bit spicy on the old ringer. Yeah, most definitely.

That thing would be bright green. Awful. My juice is not the best. It's like from Aldi. So sometimes there's little stalks left in it, and it's floating in the drink. I'm like, I'm not going to chew, so I drink it. So then they just come straight out of stalks. That's a bit of fiber there for you.

And a TMI, but a TMI. No, no TMI. Oh, sorry, guys. They pass all the way through with stalks. That's alarming. Is it a problem? Maybe I'm not digesting properly. But I don't think you're meant to.

It sounds like it's meant to cleanse you out. It does. That sounds like it's intended to just go in one hole and out the other. It feels great. And it takes like 20 minutes. I can feel it moving. It's really good. I recommend the celery juice.

So you have to make sure that you're at home after having the celery juice. Yeah. But what about if you're at a cafe or something having brunch and you have a coffee and you're just sort of sitting there and you feel the sweats coming on and you think, oh God, this is going to be like a coffee shit. Yeah. It's not going to be, it's not going to be a healthy stool. It's going to run.

It's going to. Yeah, truly. You know? Yeah. We always, you want to aim for like a number four on the Bristol stool chart, but if you're having a coffee, you're hitting about a one. I actually get weirdly smug about the quality of my shits. If I eat really well, which I have today, I actually can't wait to go home and shit.

It's going to be amazing. I'm going to be, I'm so proud of that one. That is a well-formed. Do you ever do like two a day? Sometimes. Now, I've just come back from a trip. I went to Fiji and on the last day that I was there, I got food poisoning. Fiji, barely.

So you just brought up the sweats. I was calling it Fiji farts. Don't trust the farts. So I was in the line coming through the airport to fly back to Sydney and I felt the sweats come on. Oh, shit. Literally. And I just knew I was like, oh, shit.

Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. It's about to come out of me like lava. My vision started to go blurry. My hands were tingling. I made it through. Like, why the fuck did I have to get food poisoning on the last day of a trip? And I had to sit on a four-hour flight.

Better than the first day. Yeah, the flight would be absolutely harrowing. And I think it's kind of implied on an airplane that, yes, there's a bathroom there, but don't let it use it, you freak. It's weird. Everyone looks at you like, what are you doing? No, I agree. And also, on all flights back from Bali or Fiji, they should have three toilets in the

plane. They should build planes, on purpose build them for the fact that everyone has barley belly. Oh, that would be the worst. If you had like proper, like luckily when I got on the plane, I was feeling a bit better. But if you were in the thick of it, like that would be fucked. Oh God, yeah. Just get a seatbelt on the toilet and just sit there the whole time in a turbulence.

She'll be right. Imagine if they had that. The seatbelt light comes on, you're like, well, I'm on this throne. I may as well just buckle up, you know? Anyway, thanks Alex for taking us down this route, talking about shit. We've spoken enough about shit. If you want to get in touch, send us a message,

a couple of pitches in the DM prize keeper, Jenna. Get yourself a prize. Now, Star, you haven't Is It Just Me of your own, don't you? I do, and I'm sorry, it's also about shit. It's a bit of a theme today. Oh, all right. We're used to it. Do I have a little sound effect?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bradley will count you in. We have the orchestra on standby. Okay, cool. Bradley! Katerin! Is it just me or? Do period poos get worse as you get older?

Oh. Oh, yeah. They do, don't they, Mitchell? God, preach it. There's a couple of menstruating Mitches in the room. Yeah, I'm on the blob at the moment. Okay, look. I'm on the blob.

The rags. I'm on the rags. Oh, no. I'm on the rags. Oh, God. That is so white trash. Okay, I don't know if anyone ever explained to you period poos before. But I feel like when you're younger, you're just like, oh, yeah, first period, whatever.

I'm 28 now. And it just gets you. Yeah. Wow, I didn't know that. Did you fuck yeah wow all those aesthetic habits yeah clearly spf every day come on yeah right so um you get your period and that is shit in and of itself and then it does something to your bowels as well and you're pretty much weighing out of your bum the whole time you have your period oh so it's liquid it's liquid it's liquid and sometimes you get these stabbing pains in your bum the whole time you have your period too. Oh, so it's liquid. It's diarrhea. It's liquid. It's liquid. And sometimes you get these stabbing pains in your bum hole as well. It doesn't mean like stabbing pain.

Oh, I need a poo. Like you just randomly get these pains and you're like, ah, and then it passes and it's gone. And only for the time that you've got the rags. Yeah. Yeah. It's shit. A lot of it.

Quite literally. Yeah. Is there a male equivalent of that? Do you guys ever get any stabs in the bum? You do know what show you're on. You know, after you've come, and we have urethras. I'm sure you have urethras as well, but ours is just on the outer. The first wee after you finish, it feels different

because it's kind of clearing the pipes out. Yeah, because it's got to push the little cummies out. Yeah. The sediment. It's got to flush the lines like the celery juice. It's very similar. And I've got chunky cum. At the moment, it's the celery.

It's the celery. But there's something about it. It kind of feels good. It's kind of like scratching an itch. Like you kind of feel like, oh, it feels good. I like it. It does feel wrong if you don't piss afterwards. That's how you get UTIs, right?

Yeah, yeah. You've got to piss after. Does the same apply for men? I think it. It does feel wrong if you don't piss afterwards. That's how you get UTIs, right? Yeah, yeah, you've got to piss after. Does the same apply for men? I think so. Maybe not. I know that that's a thing with women, right? You have to piss after you get rude. Star, you're a doctor, answer.

Yeah, Dr. Star McG here. Look, definitely piss after a rude. Yes, good call. Sometimes it's hard because if you don't need to pee, you've got to, like, push out. Do you have a partner? I do, yeah. His name's Matt. Hi, Matt. Shout out, Matt. So do you, is it, I guess it to like push out. Do you have a partner? I do. Yeah. His name's Matt.

Hi, Matt. Shout out, Matt. So do you, is it, I guess it would be awkward like even on a first date or I'm sure you, how long have you been together? Four and a half years. Oh, plenty of time. Yeah. So do you always wee after you, like does he know to be like, oh, she's off to do it,

you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he does. Yeah. I don't think there's any urgency. Is there? Yeah, is there? I would say I do it quite urgently because I don't want to, you don't want to play with

fire. No. Just in case he's, because getting a UTI is fucked. Yeah, you don't want to play with fire. No. Just in cases because getting a UTI is fucked. You will be playing with fire. It burns. Yeah, it hurts a lot. It's the worst. So straight to the toilet, do a little wee.

And then come back and cuddle. Yeah, that's, you know, whatever. You can even get a bedpan. You can just do it on the side and stay in bed. How long does it take going back to the period shit? Yes. How long does that last, like the whole week? For me it's like, yeah, the first couple of days

and then it will kind of settle. But sometimes like that's how I know that it's coming because I'll be like, oh, there's some rumbling down there and then we'll be like, ooh, the floodgates have opened and then the other floodgates open and it's all happening. Yeah, right. Okay, I see. I truthfully did think you meant period shits as in Downton Abbey shits.

Like I thought you were referencing like how would – is it just me or do you think how did they shit in the day? That's a good point though. Imagine having to take off all those layers of clothing. Oh, my God, the corset and the girdles. Well, I'm wearing a jumpsuit today and that's even – that's annoying. It's like a jumpsuit with long pants too so you've got to fucking unzip it. How do you do it?

If you don't wear a bra, you sit in there with your tits out on the toilet, just like hope no one can see me through the crap. I know. I was at a music festival recently and I wore a romper and I went to the bathroom and I was like, oh, God, I've never had to do this before. Imagine me sitting there with it around my ankles,

no shirt on, just sitting there like, this is not aesthetic. This is not aesthetic at all. And you can hear the bass in the background like through the cubicle walls. Oh, festival toilets are so rough. They're disgusting. The port-a-loos.

They're disgusting. At the end of the day when you go in there, oh. I basically just went for a matinee. I was there for a few hours, saw the Veronica's, off I fucked. I'm not going to be staying there all night when it gets a bit ratty. You know what happened to me the other day here at work at the radio station? I work late, so no one's ever here. So I had to do a number two. My second poo of the day hit me no celery this is purely you know waste and i go to the bathroom and i go to the middle cubicle and i go in and i have the full

bowel movement and then i go to get toilet paper and it's empty oh dear and i'm like fuck so i had to think about what i'm going to do i'm like do i stand up then it was like, you know, like when you get a mental health test and they put ink on a paper and fold it in half and then open it again. It's like, what shape is this? That's what I would have looked like. So I'm like, fuck. So I kind of pull my pants under my knees and do like a pigeon squat. The waddle!

Like a crab! And I waddle out of the middle one because I'm fucking hurrying in case anyone turns up and then go to the first one and then have to finish. And it was fine because it was mortifying. That 13-second dash from the middle to the far right cubicle was hell. That's kind of like the waddle that guys do after sex if they go to get you a towel or something.

It's like the little side-to-side waddle. Oh, my God. I've never – yeah. That's very true. I've never actually discussed that with anyone, but, yeah, you're right. You start it all like if you're having fun on your own and then you finish on yourself, then you have to like get up and kind of like, it's like stuck in your rolls. No, I prefer not to do that.

Yeah, that's quite right. Is that why people have like in a movie they have socks that they like? I think so. I've never done that, but that does sound horrible. Just get some tissues. I could do it. Do it in the shower? Is that a thing?

Oh, I've just, I can't. I don't have enough. My blood pressure doesn't pump hard enough to keep me erect while standing up. It's actually a recent problem. I used to do it all the time. I can't anymore. I'm not joking. My heart needs to focus on keeping my brain alive, so I can't get hard in the shower. It's so much surface area for his blood to cover.

It's got to take shifts. Like, alright, we'll give the fingers a run today. I'm not joking. The toes need it, mate. You come in the bed. The dogs need it. Truly. Truly. Alright, thank you, Star. Great engine! Is it just me? Listening on Spotify,

don't forget to leave a five star rating. Okay, Doug, while you're here, Star, we want to ask you the same question we ask all of our guests, which is we like to get them to contribute to our list of things better than drugs and dick. I feel like we've had quite a filthy show today talking about shit and cum and et cetera,

so why not just make it a little bit dirtier? I agree. All the bodily fluids. Because we have this running list, right, of we want to remind our younger listeners that there's more to life than partying and boys because you do get in that headspace when you're in, what, late teens, early 20s. You think that's the be all and end all.

So it's just like a little thing in life you appreciate. What are some examples we've had? What did we say? Jess Malboy said a nice walk on the grass, didn't she? Barefoot in her garden. Angela Bishop said that her waterbed is better than drugs and dick. She has a waterbed. Must be nice.

I know, right? That network TV cash. Keenan Lonsdale said staring into the sun, didn't he? I can't even remember what he said. He was on shrooms that day, I swear to God. R.I.P. your retinas. Don't directly act directly on sun. Really immaculate degeneration.

What do you have, Star? Sophie Monk said Jimmy Brings, and I'm like, so true. Amen. Yeah, okay. So we've had a bit of a f'm like, so true. Amen. Yeah. Okay. So we've, yeah, we've had a bit of a feral episode. So mine is a little bit wholesome. Yeah. And we're coming up to the silly season.

We've got Christmas coming up when you are cutting wrapping paper and the scissors glide. Oh, that's fantastic. Yes. Okay. I'm putting it on the list. Not even going to question it. That's fantastic. That might be one of the best we've ever had.

It makes you a bit horny, doesn't it? It does. Yeah. But you know when you do it really well, then you get to the end and it kind of rips. You fuck it up right at the last minute. Yeah, you get a bit smug. Yeah, you do. Did you guys ever get taught from anyone?

My mum taught me, but the ribbon, when you wrap it, you do the bow, then you get the knife and you put it on the end of the ribbon and you curl it. Yeah. Yeah. I've never been able to. I've watched other people do it and they make it look so easy. I've never been able to nail it watched other people do it and they make it look so easy i've never been able to nail it i'm shit at wrapping presents like i just like the idea of it but i when i do it i can't be fucked i just want to cut the wrapping paper and then leave it but yeah i do like to do that the little curly ribbon but that ribbon is

so hard to actually remove when you're trying to open the present i know it's really tough yeah god yeah no i am i love wrapping presents i'm quite good at it but there are definitely days where i'm like i'm just to chuck it in a gift bag. Fuck this. Hayden and I, me and my partner are a gift bag family. We just put everything in gift bags. If you buy a shit from Mecca, it's really good because it comes in a pretty bag. And then you put some like tissue paper over it and then you don't have to do anything.

Very true. I'm quite thrifty when it comes to my wrapping paper. I've got like really gorgeous silver and gold paper with like generic patterns. So it could be Christmas paper or it could be a birthday paper. Yeah, I love that. I love just like a plain brown paper, wrapping paper. Oh, gorgeous. Yeah. A little bit rustic. For the aesthetic.

Yeah, true. You know what I always do? I always get so much wrapping paper for a small box and then I fold it like you wrap it and then like the little corners that turn into triangles are so long. Yeah. Like where I tie a fucking bow. I'm not good at it.

I'm excellent. I'm oddly good at it. I reckon there's something in it is psychology in that. What your wrapping technique tells you about your personality. Like I love writing a beautiful card. I'm very big on cards, words of affirmation all the way. Is that your love language? One of them.

Yeah. Yeah. You must think I hate you then because I'm so bad at giving words of affirmation all the way. Is that your love language? One of them, yeah, yeah. Words of affirmation. You must think I hate you then because I'm so bad at giving words of affirmation. No, but I think that's one of the ways that I give love is definitely words of affirmation. But in terms of receiving it, I'm like acts of service.

Yes, that's what I like to do. Quality time, super important, yeah. Matsy's physical touch and I forget that sometimes because I'm like, oh, fuck off, you're being annoying. But I'm like, oh, no, you actually need this to feel loved. So like I'm a very affectionate person. But you know how sometimes, like, they just annoy you a little bit. Yeah, gotcha.

And you're just like, piss off. Oh, yeah. Anyways, love you, Matt. Love you, Matt. Any little couple of- What's your love language again? All of them. Yeah, true.

Every single one of them. His love language is just needy. Yeah, I take it all. I like physical touch. I'm very, yeah, very physical touch. I feel like I need to redo the quiz because when I did it a couple years ago, I kind of knew what mine was going to be anyway, so I chose my answers based on that.

Yeah, right. What's the word I'm looking for? You rigged it. Yeah, I did. Why can I not think of words today? I'm so dumb. No, you can't. You rigged it.

You rooted. You rat. That's what we do on the show, actually. Yeah, we all talk, then we all root at the end. Rigged, rooted, rat. In the morning. Sounds like a Central Coast breakfast show. Do you brush your teeth first?

That's fine. You'd be rigged, you'd be rooted, and I'm the rag. For sure. You reckon? Yeah. Do I look like I've just been rooted? Amen. All right, thank you, Star.

Hey, should we play Sound of Silence? Yep, all right, let's go Star. Hey, should we play Sound of Silence? Oh. Yep, all right, let's go. Let's do it. The sound of silence. Yeah, we like to get our guests to do this too, Star. How are you feeling? I'm a little bit nervous but also excited to see.

I think this is going to be really tricky for me because I'm probably just going to start pissing myself laughing. Are you a giggler? Do you just giggle? Yeah, I have a nervous laugh as well, like in really inappropriate settings. Like if I'm about to get a needle. One time my sister was doing acupuncture on me and I just start laughing. I'm like, I actually sound like a fucking maniac right now. Is she an acupuncturist?

Yeah. Okay, good. Have you got the sort of friends that answer your calls? I hope so. I mean, this will be the real test, won't it? So what you're going to do is you call someone and then have a chat. Wait for them to ask you a question. As soon as they ask you that question, just say nothing and take forever to answer it.

Yeah. And you're allowed, what is it, one bridging phrase to try and extend the silence. Correct. So your aim is to have as long a silence as possible and you get one bridging phrase. So after the first question, go as long, but you don't want them to hang up. So maybe go, one sec, give me one moment. And you're only allowed one of those extending phrases, basically. And the current record is Carla from Bankstown,

who we love, who had two minutes 30. Wow, that is a long time. But I reckon Carla kind of cheated. She called her mum as if any mother is going to hang up on their child. I know. Like they're just grateful for the fucking phone call, really. True, and Carla was coughing and burping and farting. as if any mother is going to hang up on their child. I know. Like they're just grateful for the fucking phone call, really. True. And Carla was coughing and burping and farting.

If you start laughing, feel free to just pop your phone on mute. Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm allowed to do that. We endorse cheating here on the show. We don't care about rules. Who are you calling? I am going to call Millie Ford today. Milligram.

You might know her as Milligram. Yep. Or just at Millie on TikTok. Yeah. Much like you're just at Star on TikTok. Yeah, look, it's a bit of a flex. Double R, of course. But no one else is cruising around with Star as their username.

Like, it's a bit fucking random. Other than porn stars. You're going to get lawsuits from all these porn stars. You know, someone commented on my TikTok, their surname was Star, and they were like, can you please change your username? I want that. I was like, who the fuck are you? No, this is my username.

You're not taking it. Wow. I do obviously adore Millie, but I think she's probably a bit flaky, so I would be very surprised if she answered. I mean, she's very busy. I was going to say, she's like Australia's premier influencer at the moment. She's top tier. But also, she's just the sort of person that arrives four hours late to me and goes

sorry, I had a lunch. You know what I mean? So her character is just her in real life. No, God, no. Not the mum. Not the punished one. No, we call it Milligram time. So we run on normal world time and Millie's on Milligram time. Really?

Yeah. 5 p.m. Sydney time is like 9 p.m. Medi time. It's 5 p.m. somewhere. Empty. On Milligram time. Empty. All right, we'll call Milligram.

Mitch and I are going to turn off and it's just you. I've got the stopwatch ready. The timer will start as soon as Millie asks you that first question. So you can talk to her as long as you want until she asks the question and then you remain silent. Okay, cool. All right. I'm going off.

Do I need to put it on speaker on here? No, you can hear it. Oh, this is so cool. Hello? Hello. Hey, Queen. How are you? I'm Queen. How are you? I'm good.

How are you going? Hello? I can't hear you. Soz. Wait, just give me a sec. Yeah. Very early. Yeah. Very early. Yeah.

Sorry, I panicked. Now we really just see how long it takes her to hang up. What a bitch! 29 seconds. What a bitch! No, you failed. Oh, my God. I have to message her.

I feel bad. Call her back. Call her back. Oh, my God. I have to message her. I feel bad. Call her back. Call her back. Oh, my God. Maybe we'll give her a round two. How long was that, Mitch? 29 seconds. 29 seconds.

Is that the worst we've ever done? I've done worse. Abby Chapman was nine seconds. Oh, my God. Hi, Queen. I'm on air with the Mitches. Hi, Millie. Hi.

It was basically a test of how long you'd stay on the line before hanging up. And, God, you don't have much patience. None at all. I had to mute the phone because i was laughing no stop i literally i hung up straight away i was like i was like maybe i have some time like literally that sounds so bad i was like maybe i have time to run down and make myself a coffee yeah you probably would have what if she was being kidnapped i literally have the shortest attention span ever. Can you tell Mitch and I off for being the naughty boys at the back making prank calls?

Yeah, yeah. Boys at the back, get off your phone. Actually, I'm going to have to confiscate that, okay? Oh, it's so good. Well, Queen, go make your coffee. 29 seconds. We'll remember that. But thank you for answering.

We weren't sure because we know you're very busy. I am a busy girl. I've got like my time is precious. Hang up on her. Get her back. Hang up on her. Hang up on her. See you.

Does she know that we refer to the Millie time thing? Yeah, she does. Oh, good. I was going to say, oh, you're on Millie time. And then I'm like, imagine if everyone says that behind her back. And she didn't know that was a thing. Well, well done, Star. No fault of your own.

You did very well. You had the bridging term down pat. You blew that a bit early, but that's fine. Very early. I panicked. I was like, no, she's going to hang up. I just felt like she was going to hang up. It went a little bit too quiet.

It was like uncomfortable silence for a hot second there. It sounded like she muted you too. Yeah, it did. It bit too quiet. It was like uncomfortable silence for a hot second there. It sounded like she muted you too. Yeah, it did. It was so quiet. She probably answered it and chucked her phone across the room. She could have gone and made a coffee. Probably wasn't even her. Probably was a PA answering on her behalf with a pre-recorded voice message.

That's not Millie. That's Tilly. Well, listen, Star, that's you done on the show. You finished Janet's shift for her. Oh, no worries. Put in your time sheet. Do I get a prize? Of course

If you want one You already gave me a lemonade That's pretty good I'm pretty happy with that A Schweppes Schweppes We can send you a mug Do you want a signed mug?

Thank you Yeah Please You can get a mug I can add it to the Friends of the show list now I know yeah That we sometimes send shit to

We send Oh my god yes We're a professional show Just so you know Oh I can see Yeah duh Thank you very much I mean talk about shit Come and everything else Rock and roll baby And send shit too. We send, yeah. We're a professional show, just so you know. Oh, I can see. Yeah, duh. Thank you very much. I mean, talk about shit, cum and everything else.

Rock and roll, baby. Rock and roll, baby. And wrapping paper. You can get Star on all social media, of course, but they don't connect. Instagram is different. The handle is different to TikTok. So it's Star, one word with double R on TikTok, and Star McG on Instagram. And I flew G, just like the cricket ground. I've never read it that way, but now it's always going to be McG to me.

Star McG. Yeah, thanks for having me. It was so much fun. Keep being aesthetic. Keep being fun. Oh, yeah, always stay aesthetic. If you want to watch my stories, then you'll see my timestamp at the beach at 5.30 in the morning.

I was going to say, or if you just want to turn up to the beach, you'll see Star with her AirPods in a sinkhole. Just thinking. Yeah. You might need to save her, actually. Can someone, like, this is the only time I'll give people consent to film me without asking me first. Just film me when I'm on the beach so I can see how good I look. Yeah.

Thanks. Send it to us, please, and we will sell it to the media. Great to have you on Star. We adore you. Aw, thanks for having me, guys. And we'll catch you next week, idiots. Love ya. See ya.

Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment at the end. Just a couple of kids with ADD having a debrief, talking shit, nothing planned here.

Did you even know that we had this section of the show? I did not. Fuck. She did look a little bit perturbed over there. He's back. His words are back. See, they're not dumb. Yeah, Star put, like, the palms of her hand on the seat as if to, like,

get up, and we're like, sit the fuck down. You signed on to do the whole show. Not fucking leaving. Oh, my God. The announcement just came out at the time of her hand on the seat as if to get up and we're like, sit the fuck down. You signed on to do the whole show. You're not fucking leaving. Oh my God. The announcement just came out at the time of recording. Trump just announced that he's running for presidency again. On the TV behind you, he's talking. Why would you bring that up? Oh, is he?

Yeah. Why would you bring that up? Donald Trump, I will put America first. You know what you've done? You've ruined the vibes in this space. Can I just say? How dare you? Hot controversial take.

Horrific. Terrible for people. No, no, I'm not supporting Trump. I think he's horrendous. The world would be a better place without him. But I do kind of miss the circus. Like, it was entertaining. I would argue that Joe Biden's quite the clown himself.

Yes, I agree. But, like, laughing at a man that, you know, is quite forgetful is just this show, really. That's me. But Trump, like, God, it was entertaining. Terrible president. I don't want him back. I'm just saying, hot take, I miss some of the drama of it all.

Oh, God, just looking at America and all the shit that happens over there. In Australia, you're just like, what the fuck? I know. We're so lucky, aren't we? Why did it used to be so desirable, America? When we were kids, it was like, oh, my God, I'd love to go to America. I know. It's so amazing.

Land of the free. That's where all the fun happens. No, I'm just just like it's putrid and not even in a cute way I think TikTok has really changed that too because we have so much more access to like content that's not filtered and it's just like seeing the raw real version of how people live and I'm like that's fucked New York's pretty rank I will say yeah I really have my heart set on being blown away walking into Times Square like, I'm home. And I thought, is this it? Yeah.

It's fucked. I didn't like it at all. There are a lot of people. Yeah. So many people. No, I don't know. Maybe I was there on a dead night because I was shocked by how many people there weren't. I was like, it's dead here.

Were you there in winter? It's ugly. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. When I lived there, I was scared for my life on a daily, truly on a daily basis. How long did you live there for? Nine months. Yeah. And then LA for three. What was scary about it? It's

just, I mean, maybe it was like I was 19 like I wasn't fully into myself. I was still in the closet so I probably had a lot of self-discovery to do so I was probably a bit on edge as well about that. How do I walk straight? Yeah. Truly. As I had my yoga mat and my fucking I was studying theatre so Anton Chekhov

reading my script walking from L train to fucking Chelsea. It was just really intimidating. And I had an hour transit. What am I trying to say? I can't think either. Commute? Commute, yeah. Thank you.

Oh, thank God she's here. I have no idea what he's trying to say. Come back every week. Please. From Brooklyn to New York. And it was just overwhelming. You know, and I think I came from Sydney and from Brooklyn to New York. And it was just overwhelming, you know. And I think I came from Sydney and I was so sheltered.

It's a big wide world out there and there's no one to sort of to help you and to sort of save you. Is the subway super intense as well? I was thinking about this. It's foul. The subway is so foul. And I was listening to the Kyle and Jackie O show and they were interviewing some woman who was stuck in the Maya elevator. And they're like, call us now, 131065. Where have you been trapped?

And it made me remember that I got trapped for an hour under the Brooklyn, like from Brooklyn to New York, it goes under the ocean, the train, the subway, and I got trapped for an hour under the tunnel underground. The lights went out. It was like in a Batman movie when the bad guy gets on the subway and then everyone dies. It was. And the New Yorkers were so unfazed.

But I was like, oh, no. Oh, my God, I'm going to die were so unfazed. But I was like, oh, no. Oh, my God. I'm going to die. This is it. They're probably thinking, oh, again. Truly, this was like way before people had torches on their iPhone. So it was like pitch black. Scary.

Everyone else is just sitting there. Everyone's sitting there. Do you have phone reception? No phone reception. No phone. Because you're under a tunnel. And why is it so, even in the dead of winter when it's blisteringly cold, why is the subway so fucking hot and muggy? They heat those fucking tin cans.

It's hell on earth. Huge risk. Yeah, speaking of you doing acting school in New York, I'm thinking of taking a leaf out of Sar's book. She just finished doing improv classes. Have you finished them? I did, yeah. So I did an eight-week improv course and it was so much fun.

I think I want to do it. Yeah, it is. It was the best thing I've ever done. Like I i want to do it yeah yeah it was the best thing i've ever done like i did it with complete randoms which was the best because everyone was there for really different reasons and i'm super outgoing and naturally quite confident but there are a lot of people in the class who were really shy and like we were all there for different reasons which i loved and we just went there and every week we just played drama games and just had to do fun little exercises.

How long? How long were the classes? They went for two and a half hours. The thing is, you know me, my 9 p.m. bedtime, it started at 6.30. So, it finished at 9. And so, at the end of it, I was like, fuck. Your brain was fried. My brain is fried.

And also, like, the social energy was a lot. Yeah. But that was like the first two weeks were really hard. And then towards the end, I was like getting really excited to go there. Okay. I just don't know if I can do two and a half hours. Even when I would go to yoga stuff, if it was a one hour yoga class, fine. If it was an hour and a half, forget it.

Like that half hour made such a difference because I've got, well, aptly because of this segment, ADD. Yeah. I've got the attention span like Millie. That's what I did in LA. So I studied at the Grambling's in UCB, just did improv. Cool. It was seriously the best span like Millie. That's what I did in LA. Sorry, I studied at the Groundlings in UCB, just did improv. Cool. It was seriously the best time of my life.

I have such fond memories. And all the people that I did improv with are now like, one's on a fucking Netflix show, the other one was an American horror story. I'm like, fuck, I should stay there. And that'll probably be the natural trajectory for me, yeah. American horror story, yeah. I've got the chops. Absolutely.

American horror story, poof. Would you get your dogs out for Netflix? Sir. Yeah. American Horror Story. Poof. Would you get your dogs out for Netflix? Sir. Yeah. Trying to stop me. I think that's- I'll probably toe up to an audition with my dogs out. No.

That's the one part of you I don't think I've ever seen. What? Your toes. Bullshit. I wear slides every week. I only put on these like actual enclosed shoes because I knew we had a guest coming in. True. I didn't wear slides for you.

I didn't wear slides. God, then me rocking up like a feral with my slides. It's a nice one, so. I was quite confident when I saw those. I was like, okay, great. I should have did some more of mine. Hey, what is actually, what's your story? So you've been doing content for how long?

A couple of years now? Yeah, a couple of years, but I've been doing content full time for the past three, four months. So what were you doing? I mean, you're 28. So what's the sort of story? Were you working a desk job? So I worked in social media marketing for a fitness company.

So I did manage like accounts counselor, did marketing strategy. Before that, I was a dental nurse for seven years. Oh, wow. Seven years. Again, I'm still shocked because it sounds like you have been out of high school for barely seven years. How could you have been doing that for seven years? Yeah, so straight out of high school, I kind of was working in hospitality and then I randomly

got a job in a dental practice and stayed there for seven years and we it was a cosmetic practice so we did a lot of veneers implants it was really cool and that's where I met my best friend who I live with now as well so yeah that was really fun but towards the end of me working in the dentist I like moved in more to the business side I was doing the marketing and blah blah blah got that job in social media. Everything kind of started to take off on the talk. And then I actually started my own social media agency where I was freelancing, managing other people's accounts for them. Great.

And then, you know, all this influencing stuff really popped off and I was like, well, this is way more fun. So I'm going to do that for a little bit. And it pays well, right? Very similar backstory to mine. I used to run the social media with this radio station. Then I was like, bugger this. It is incredible. Like half the shit I get to do, I'm like run the social media with this radio station. Then I was like, bugger this. It is incredible.

Like half the shit I get to do, I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah, truly. But you just got to make the most of it, you know, and I'm enjoying it, which is the most important thing. I'm mostly impressed that you've managed to keep like a normal routine, going to bed, getting up early, because that was the first thing that went out the window when I became full-time.

This. Oh, my sleeping pattern is so rank. So I'm like going to try and have a hard reset when i move to the new place i think i just need it for my sanity like the routine is what keeps me but also my like attention spent and my creativity in the afternoons i'm fucking useless like i don't do anything in the afternoon so i prefer to get it all done in the morning and then in the avos i can just like chill and i'm the opposite i take three hours to wake up and then come late afternoon slash early evening, I'm on. I'm ready.

Same, true. And because I do my radio show at night at 7 o'clock, I have to really like – Oh, my God. That's dinner time and then wind down for bed. I've got to hold on to that energy. Otherwise, by show time, I'm cooked. Yeah.

It has been really different for me though in this job because there are things on the weeknights that I go to now. I have to do things for work and I'm out till 11. So, I mean. Oh, yeah, that would really, that's why I kind of threw in the towel. I was like, there's certain things that keep me up late. So, there's no point in trying to get an early bedtime or one event will throw me off. I think like no matter what your routine is, it's important to have like some leeway and

you have to be kind to yourself. Like if you don't wake up one morning, like that doesn't matter. It's not going to ruin your entire life. Yeah. So, you hope to wake up. A girl can that doesn't matter. It's not going to ruin your entire life. Yeah. You hope to wake up. A girl can dream. That's not very aesthetic, is it? That's the best quote from Star. If you don't wake up in the morning, that's all right.

No one would miss you. No one would miss you at all. Well, this has been so much fun having you on. Did you enjoy it? Be honest and tell us some nice things now. No, I fucking hated it. Okay, fair, fair. Words of affirmation. The end. No, that was so it. It was so shit. Okay, fair, fair. Words of affirmation.

The end. No, that was so much fun. I love shit talking with you guys. Yeah, great. That's what we do. Was I good? Can you praise me? Oh, yeah, words of affirmation, shit.

No, you killed it. Loved it. Perfect. Oh, thanks. You were fantastic. Am I a star? Duh. Oh, well done.

You've won us over. That's my favourite sound effect. Where's the star music? Oh, yeah, sorry. Thank you, star. Isn't that after the stars are crazy? Shooting star? What's shooting star?

Dark Raiders? What about... When you wish upon a star? What's that? I think it's literally called When You Wish Upon A Star. Yeah, isn't that from... Is it from Pinocchio? Yeah.

When... Oh, I want to find that. Jiminy Cricket. That's it. Jiminy Cricket. Jiminy Cricket, one of the famous queer characters that never came out. He's such a poof. Jiminy Cricket.

I can say that song. Yeah, they're making prequels for every bastard. I want to know Jiminy Cricket's backstory. What's that song called? When You Wish Upon a Star. That's literally it. What, just him as a lava? Yeah. What's his backstory? Just him as a widgety grab?

That would be one hour of him just in an embryo Just a single drop of cum Oh, yuck! Here we go, this is it, let's see It's coming on Hurry up I'm trying, I don't know what's happening Is YouTube on mute?

Jiminy Cricket. Jiminy Cricket. He wasn't evil in Pinocchio, was he? No, he was like the fairy godmother of sorts. He was a cute one. Here we go. Thanks for coming on, Star. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 3% better today. That's all.

So we do. So we do. Star? You're so great at yours. It's making me emotional. Hear the fucking lyrics. I can feel it slowing down. It's building.

When you wish upon a star There's no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires will come. That star is a real boy. I can feel my nose growing. Oh, look, there it is. I can picture you falling into a sinkhole with this. It was fucked up.

It was that scene in Pinocchio where he just became a donkey. Yeah. Yeah, he was like, his body was mutilated. Yes. Every time he tried to talk. Poor Pinocchio. All right, Star. Go follow her on all socials.

Star McG. On Insta, Star on TikTok. We'll see you soon, Star. See ya. See ya, everybody. Thanks for listening, you. Bye-bye. See ya.

Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. on TikTok. We'll see you soon, Stacey. See ya. Thanks for listening, you. Bye-bye. See ya.