Is It Just Me? - #133: Trust Me with Nat Penfold

Episode Date: December 12, 2022

Nat Penfold from KIIS FM is back!   In this episode: What does “Chookas” mean? (09:58) Life’s lookin’ grey (15:54) Feeling like a boss bitch running errands (18:48) What ever happened to the Bermuda Triangle? (24:38) Listening to this 'Brown Note' will make you shit (27:19) The “Plotting Fly” (29:45) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (41:02)   Hit us up @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Would you like to try a vape? Why would you take up something that is going to be addictive and expensive? I think for people... I'll tell you why. Yeah. Because you're young and stupid. Some things make more sense than others.

You mentioned that your goal was to be healthier and I just don't know how you figure that's going to happen when you're ordering a chocolate mousse. No. You know, I had it in the car on the way home and I didn't have a spoon. So I was like an armadillo trying to get ants out of a hole. I was like... Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood.

Being fingered is an awful sensation. Getting fingered by the right person. Goodness me. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of bitches. Hi, it's Jenna. Please don't forget to include my name in the opener this season. I'm sorry.

Ta-da! Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, you. Hello, you. Welcome back for another episode. The second last, I should say. It is, yes. Second last episode of 2022.

How are you feeling? Oh, pretty good. I had to second guess there. What year is it? It's definitely 2022, right? I've been confused going into 2023. Talking about next year, I'm like, is it 2024? I don't know why I'm skipping a year.

I've lost count. So have I. They all merge into one after a while. I am excited for this episode, though, are you? Oh, yes. I have a feeling in my waters that today is going to be a bit of an unhinged episode. I agree. She's returning.

She's here. She's back. Whoa. here. She's back. Whoa. Natalie Penfold. Turn up the Nat. Yeah, she's here, baby. You know and love her from two other? Did she do two episodes of those?

I think this is my fourth. Is it? I don't know. I don't know. I'm not counting. But anyway, Nat Penfold's back. We heard you. Haven't been back for a while, guys.

Good to be back. One of our favourites. We noticed in the Facebook group people kept saying, oh, that episode she was on. It was called Top Dog. Yeah. It was back in episode of our favourites. We noticed in the Facebook group, people kept saying, oh, that episode she was on, it was called Top Dog. It was back in episode 85 you were on, and people, even to this day, they're like, oh, that was my favourite episode. I always re-listen. So here she is, Natalie Penfold's back.

I always bring a bit of chaos, but maybe the saving grace for everyone today is that I'm tired. It's the end of the year. I'm backed up. I haven't pooed for days. Oh, no. I've got cramps. It's like my bowels have just shut up short. Wait, so if it hits you today, you can go. If it hits pooed for days. I've got cramps. It's like my bowels have just shut up short. They're done. Wait, so if it hits you today, you can go? It's not hitting me. It hasn't hit me for days on

end. Really? When will it hit you? I'm not sure at this point. There's like rocks in there. Oh my god. When they come out, do they hurt? I'm not sure. TBC because they haven't come. There's definitely solid faecal matter in my large intestine. Push on.

No, you push on. Get that faecal matter out my large intestine. Push on. No, you push on. Get that faecal matter out, doll. I wish I could. If anyone's got any tips. Nat just said push on and looked at her intestines. I'm massaging my belly as we speak. Nat is truly one of the fan favourites. And I think Kate Leigh was three times on the show a couple weeks back

and now you're potentially... I think this is your third. Okay, we'll go with that. We'll go with third. Of course, our pricekeeper, Jenna, third wheel today, fourth wheel. We've got a full car today. Welcome, we'll go with that. We'll go with third. Of course, our pricekeeper, Jenna, third wheel today, fourth wheel. We've got a full car today. Welcome, Jenna. Welcome, Jenna.

If it's your first time listening, this is Is It Just Me? Every week we start the show the same way, something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. They're called Ijum. Ijum on the fly. I've noticed Mitchell, he's in his jewellery era. Has anyone else noticed that Mitchell's now dressed in like Adam Levine? Yeah.

A lot of rings. A lot of rings. And the necklace. Who's the camp gay one that does the queen shit at the moment? He does all the queen stuff. Adam Lambert. No, Adam Lambert, the new one in Queen. Adam Lambert.

Yeah, you have all this jewellery. You look like Adam Lambert. Oh, is it too much? He's wearing a rose necklace. Show me your fingers. He's got knuckle dusters on. Yeah. Who's that designer or whatever, the stylist,

some shit that gave the advice, whenever you leave the house, you should look in the mirror and take off one accessory? That was Gok. Maybe I should have done that. No, you're rocking it. You're rocking it? And the shirt's very, the past couple of weeks you've come in,

because I've been here, just not on the show. Yeah. You look like you're going to a festival. So you're in your festival era. Yeah, there's been a few flattering comparisons from Natalie. It was, oh, this is giving Katy Perry this week, one of them. What does this look like? What does this look like?

With flowers on it, like daisies. Very Katy Perry. Very Katy Perry. What is this Katy Perry this week, one of them. What does this look like? What does this look like? With flowers on it, like daisies. Very Katy Perry. Very Katy Perry. What is this? That's like. Change of the rhythm. You're that guy that takes heaps of drugs at a festival and walks around and wants to talk to everyone.

No, but what does my outfit look like? That. Nat was telling me today that her friends, when they used to go to festivals, would drink colonoscopy liquid to clean themselves out. You know Pico Press? Oh, I have had colonoscopies. I'm well aware. They're fucking yuck.

Why would you do that when you don't need to? Because they want the flatter stomach. You should try that. Excuse you? No, for your current bowels. For your current situation. Oh, God. See, I thought that was a fat show.

No, Jenna, so did I. Five minutes in. You're stubborn bowels. Enough for me. No, I was about to say the same thing, Jenna, so I'm with you. You should do that. Does it have to be one extreme or the other? Do I have to be shitting myself or have stubborn turds in my belly?

Yeah, you should have soft, regular stools. I don't know what's happened. Maybe I'm stressed. Have a corn vindaloo. That'll make you squirt. I'm sorry. I don't like him that much. Where'd you meet him?

Jenna and Nat have a very checkered past, don't they? Yeah, they can't really stand each other. It's mostly one way, actually. It's mostly Jenna that can't stand Nat. I don't mind Jenna. I've seen Nat shoulder barge Jenna in the hallway. Yeah, once or twice, but she deserved it. Did she?

Yeah. What did she do? Nothing? She's just rude. Like, I'm sure you can tell from her persona on the podcast. She's just a bitch. And I've had enough. So if this bullying could end, I'm extending an olive branch.

Honestly. Just poke me in the eye with it. Take the olive branch. Okay, I'll take it. Poke her in the ass. Get that shit out. I've got it. Okay.

All right. Well, I've noticed Mitchell's jewellery. I've also noticed one other thing. Yeah. This is one of our last episodes of the year. And I've got presents. That's all I'm saying. Christmas presents!

It's the Christmas show. Next week? Very exciting. And next week's... Right. Also, we're playing the world first episode of The Sean Pit. Is that actually happening? That's actually happening.

I've spoken to Sean. Sean's Mitch's new partner. Ooh! Is he coming on? Apparently. Today? No. Oh.

I don't know why you're forward announcing next week's show. I'm just teasing. It's called... Fair enough. It's called... Reeling them in. I'm reeling in too far. I got a big one.

Oh, it went too deep in the sea. Can you eat dolphins? Oh. Looking at the fat person? Sorry, I'll redirect. Can you eat dolphins? Can you eat... I don't know.

Jenna, where's your laptop? You're meant to be here Googling for me. Yeah, look. I'll look it up. I'll cast a reel out again dolphins, Kitty? I don't know. Jenna, where's your laptop? You're meant to be here Googling for me. Yeah, look, I'll look it up. I'll cast the reel out again. Because you can eat shark, can't you? Yeah, of course. I'm sure anything's edible if you want it to be. Shark fin soup is unethical.

Really? But also, if they're going to kill the shark, then they may as well eat the fin. Although, actually, I think the problem is, now that I say it out loud, they only kill the shark for the fin. So that doesn't make sense. Oh, what a waste of a good shark.

Yeah, what do they do with the rest? Make necklaces out of the teeth? doesn't make sense. Oh, what a waste of a good shark. Totally. What do they do with the rest? Make necklaces out of the teeth. I don't know. Oh, those necklaces. If you come in next week with one of those on, you're cancelled. Nah, nah, nah. I will never wear one of those. Jenna's got the answer.

You can eat dolphin meat. It's used globally by many countries such as Japan and Peru. It's known as seapork. Wow, that sounds made up. What was that source? They're calling dolphins a that sounds made up. What was that source? They're calling dolphins a pig. How rude. What was that website?

SeaWorld.com? AmericanOceans.org. Oh, fantastic. I've eaten crocodile before. That's a bit gamey. A bit of a gamey, porky chicken. Yes. I've eaten kangaroo.

It's very tense. Yeah, but also good for the bod. Not much fat in kangaroo. Yeah, it's very good. Really? Okay, interesting. Has anyone ever eaten... Oh, my God. I was? Okay, interesting. Has anyone ever eaten?

Oh, my God. I was talking about a woman. Oh, personally, no. I don't think anyone in this room probably has. Mitch has. I have. Have you? Yeah. You've gone down on one?

Yes. Mitch has been with more women than men. Yeah, it's true. That's true, actually. You're right. Oh, my God. What do you reckon? Do you think the girls you had sex with, do you reckon they would think it was good

or do you reckon they knew you weren't into it? That would have been shocking. Great question. I should track one of them down. Yeah, can we get them on the show? Yeah, let's get them on. They've all passed away, though. They all have had rare illnesses.

Okay. It's funny. No girl can vouch for the fact that you've actually slept with one because they're all dead. No, they're not dead. It's a joke. That's true. That's a cover-up story.

You haven't fucked any women, have you? Why would I lie about fucking a woman and turning me gay? Maybe it was before you came out as gay. You were like, no, no, no, I slept with a woman, I slept with a woman. And now you just have to commit to the lie. No, because I definitely did try. I didn't lose my virginity until 19. So I wasn't lying about it.

Yeah, right. Was it long? Short? It was pretty tipsy. It wasn't I'm talking about your penis What's happening? Stop with the sound effects

Just a seafood fiesta By the way, have you actually spoken to Sean? He's not told me about this Let's call him What are we calling him on? Oh my god, he's here Sean? That's dumb.

Oh, God. It's going to be one of those days. Does it have to be? It always does. It doesn't have to be. Let's calm down. But also, you've only got the same four sound effects. If you find some more, then maybe I'll be interested.

Can you bring up something else? Yeah. Why wasn't you ready? It's medieval music. I feel like someone should yodel over this. I've got all the... Go on. Crank the music.

Hang on. No, we need the music. Crank it. I'll crank it. Crank it. Yole, yole, yole. Jenna, your turn. Oh, God!

I have all the Ijum staples standing by in case we ever need to jump into Jenna churning or Mitch doing Ida Buttrose yoga. We have that in Ida Buttrose meditation. Oh, I completely forgot about that. Hello and welcome to Ida Buttrose meditation. Always ready, though. Forgot, but ready. In case Bronwyn Bishop wants to land on ARN and do an interview.

Hello, Bronwyn! Get on him, darling! Oh, she's gone. She's left. Oh, so yeah, she realised we were gay. Off in the distance. We were gay! All the big ones are Oh, she's gone. She's left. Oh, she realised we were gay. Off in the distance. We were gay. All the big ones are here and of course.

We got a tweet. Anthony Albanese. What? He has COVID and he's at home. He says, so glad Nat's back on hashtag ITGM. He got it right. Everyone gets that right. Everyone thinks it's itch-em.

People think that it's idiom as well. Like, oh, every week we start with an idiom. I know. No. We've never once said that. You idiots. That's actually our show. Should we get into the, is it just me speaking of them?

Yeah, probably. Who wants to go first? I'll start. Yeah, right, you go. Let's go. First, did you remember? No. Is it just me?

Or... Is it just me or...? Did you think splitting your head open would be more of a danger in your adult life than it actually is? No, not really. It is dangerous. I know how to not do that. I know how to avoid it. Wait, do you mean doing things that would lead to that? No.

Or have you split your head open and you're like, oh, I'm fine? You thought it would happen more often. You just put a band-aid on it. I just thought, like, as a kid, everyone would split your head open? You're like, oh, I'm fine. You thought it would happen more often. You just put a band-aid on it. I just thought, like, as a kid, everyone would split their head open. And your mum would be like, don't do that. You'll split your fucking head open. But no one has ever said that to me. Your mum sounds like a bloke.

No one has ever said that to me as an adult. And I'm arguably doing more things that will split my head open. No, you wouldn't be. As a kid, you would have been on a bike, on a scooter, running around, jumping out of trees and stuff. What are you doing as an adult to do that? I'm driving a car. I could have a crash and I could split my head open.

That's true. Did they ever do that demo in primary school for you guys where they drop an egg into a bowl and be like, this is what happens if you don't wear a helmet. But then they put a bit of chicken coop wire over the bowl and be like, and this is what happens if you wear a helmet. See, the egg didn't crack. It's very graphic. It was. Just dropping an egg going, that could be your skull. I'll be didn't crack. It's very graphic. It was.

Just dropping an egg. I'm like, that could be your skull. I'll be like, can I have that? Can I get some scramble? In high school, that would have been me. Nat and I went to the same high school. We didn't get much education. No. I don't remember much from high school, though.

I feel like I've blocked it out. Same. Me too. Like, there's not much I remember except for really key moments. Nat was here with me yesterday because I'm doing the Brekkie show on Kiss at the moment. Nat's EP doing a stellar job. And I was going to the bathroom to do a wee and I came back and they were doing a tour of the building. Remember, they bring media people and clients through the KISS.

Sometimes kids come in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I walk past. All the excursions. God, they're awkward when they ring the round. They're so awkward because the show's on air and then your face is on a screen. So they're like, oh, hi. I go, hi, how are you?

He's like, Mitch. Been a while since I've seen you. Is this the guy giving the tour? Yeah. No, no, he's on the tour. Part of the tour. And I go, oh, buddy, how are you? And he goes, oh, it's been a while since cheddar.

Cheddar? And I went, Jen's cheddar. Oh, yeah, yeah, hasn't it oh god time flies mate we were just kids and we had we were learning nothing but from cheddar to kiss i'm like yeah cheddar but all right i've got a jet but you killed it cheddar represent what's cheddar i have no idea is that like an acronym for something you like a class you went to or a school? What do you mean? Cheddar, like C-H-D-R or something.

Cheddar. Cheddar. Maybe, but. Or did you ever miss cheddar at school? We clearly, no. So it was a bit pongy? We went to the same school. You weren't there for Mitch's reign as school captain, were you?

God, no. I was long gone. I'm glad I wasn't. No, no. Anyone who was there during that reign is prosperous, disease free. Those tours around the office are awkward though. I feel like every time they come around I'm saying something inappropriate. So the other day I walked out and I made like a blanket statement to the room.

I go, that's true. All gay guys have tasted their cum. And then I'm like, perfect. Welcome, Wisdom Homes. That just sums up the office here. Oh my gosh. This culture sucks. It's fun. What sums up the office here. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. This culture sucks.

It's fun. What do you mean it sucks? It's so loose. It's great. In what office can you scream that out at the top of your lungs? Just go, ah, welcome to the building. That's the number one reply I get on stories. I had my dentist who follows me message me going,

ha, ha, ha, wish my workplace was this fun. It's not true. It would be very boring being in a dentist. Yeah, but it also goes too far sometimes. There's no line. Oh, the bullying is horrific. No comment. All right, splitting your head open.

I just thought it would happen. Also, I pictured it like... Hasn't happened yet. Don't say that. But also, I think if you broke a bone or injured yourself as an adult, it's way more inconvenient. As a kid, you get a cast. All your friends sign it.

You're just on crutches. You and I never had a cast for people to sign. Oh, I had many. I broke many bones. I was a bit of a daredevil child. I can see that. You'd always be climbing trees and shit. I broke both legs, my arm, twice. You were such a tomboy, weren't you?

I can just picture it. Yeah, I was a real bush pig. The only cast I had was the cast of Pronoun, the ATYP production, 2013. Stellar cast consisting of Mitch Turi, Esther Randall, Jessie May Buckery. Australian theatre for young people? I'm mad I missed that.

That was a cast. I was in a cast. Oh, I see. That's actually why they say break a leg, because they want you to be cast. Why do they say chookers? Oh, chookers? I don't know.

Isn't it something to do with, like, if you're a poor actor, you can't afford to feed yourself? But chookers, you'll be able to afford a bar of chicken. But what does chookers mean? A barbecue chicken. Oh, something like that. A bachelor's handbag. It just says it's a uniquely Australian expression

which dancers and performers say to one another. Obviously, it loosely translates as break a leg or good luck. We hear that. The origins of the word were rarely thought about. We're thinking for once, bitch. As it is passed into every language. Here we go. I found it.

When a full house meant that the cast could be given chicken to eat after the show. I was right. Anyway, yeah, long story short, I was worried about cracking my head open. Were we talking about that? All right, shall we move on to your origin, Mitch? Sure. Are we done with that? You've got everything out?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. I'm glad we discussed it. Well, I hope you don't crack your origin, Mitch? Sure. Are we done with that? You've got everything out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. I'm glad we discussed it. Well, I hope you don't crack your head anytime soon, Danny. No, same. Do you want me to just go? What now? I can go home.

No, why would we do that? Run, run! I'm just coming in. Sound of things. There's a weight limit, mate. Oh. She's gone. Uh-oh.

Oh, no, she's back. Where is she right now? Try and move a call, darling. Good call. Good call. Because she heard about the constipation. Yeah, that's back. Oh, is she right now? Try move a call, darling. Good call. Good call. Because she heard about the constipation. Yeah, that's okay. Good advice, bro.

I reckon that even that move or whatever the fuck it's called takes a couple of days to actually work. Pico prep, it's the second dosage that really hits you. Yeah. That first one, you're like, I've got like guts of steel. Then you hit the second one, you're like, holy shit. Oh shit. Oh no. My nerd is talking shit. Oh, shit. Oh, no.

My nerd is talking shit. She left the keys. All right. Ready for your origin, Mitchell? I have been for quite some time, yeah. Okay, sorry, let's go. Is it just me or...? Has real life just gotten a bit more grey recently?

Oh. Just like there's always lots of colour on Instagram and stuff and so now in real life I'm like, oh, it's a bit shit actually, like Sydney Harbour and stuff. I thought you were talking like a black dog. I thought I was about to give out 13, 11, 14. No, no. I remember.

No, that wasn't anything to do with that. I literally mean looking at things. You're like, it's not as spectacular as I remember. Because it's not filtered in IRL. Yes. Yeah. I've actually noticed that. I wear like sunnies with like an orange tint and I wear them and everything's got an orange

tint. I love it. Literally looking through rose colored glasses. Yeah. And I take them off and I'm like, this is drab. Yeah. I've been trying to do like healthy new habits now that I live in the new place. I've got a beautiful park right near there.

And I went for a walk this morning and I was like, fuck, it's a bit dull here, isn't it? Just want to crank up the saturation on this bitch. It was hideous. It was not as picturesque as I thought it would be. But isn't it funny when you see a landscape and it takes your breath away? Yeah, but then you try and take a photo of it and it doesn't translate. Oh, never. Or the moon's huge and you take a photo and it's a pinprick. Oh, my mum, did you

see the blood moon? Mum, don't even send me 12 photos. My mum carried on about that blood moon as well. It's just awful. What's with mum and moons? Because they're bored. Because they talk about it all day on the news. So they've got all that anticipation.

Oh, there's going to be a fucking fancy moon tonight at 9, 10pm. Generically. Anything to contribute, mate? You haven't fucking spoken. You haven't fucking spoken. I just hear this faint chuckle next to me. I'm distracted. Shut up, Nat.

Oh, there she is. The top dog's back. Yeah, top dog. Maybe the top dog was Jenna in that podcast. It was. Oh, yeah, because that was at my dinner party. Remember, we had to... Oh, don't, please.

No, no, not during my fucking... Sorry, sorry. Mitch wanted to know what song came out on my birthday and it was Mozart's, that song. Magic Flute. Didn't it all start because he said, do you get excited when you see your birth date as the expiry on a milk carton?

Yeah. Are we just going to repeat the whole fucking episode we did last time, are we? It's a Jellebenson. It's a new one. Rastafari. Rastafari. Okay.

Okay. Jellebenson. It's a measta. Okay. Okay. Gentleman's home. It's a mere gentleman's home. That's your tagline. You're like, I give up. Life's grey. That's all I've got to say. You know what? You did bring it down a bit with that depressing is it just me? It wasn't depressing.

It felt sad. It's something I've noticed. The photos make it look fancier and then in real life you're like, oh. Don't you reckon the opera house is fucking ugly? The opera house is truly ugly. Sorry, I'm already the only time you've contributed. The one thing she has to say in that.

All she was doing was repeating Mitch. No, he wasn't. Excuse me. No, I daddened. It's been a long day. Can I spock? Shut up. Oh, it daddened. It's been a long day. Can I spock? Shut up. Oh, it smells in here. Got something on your mind? Hit up at coupleofmitches on Instagram to get yourself on the show.

All right, time for an Is It Just You? We're all doing one, so we thought, fuck it, we'll let you do one as well. Like we do every week, of course. Every week, yeah, yeah. And Is It Just You is your chance to let us know something you've hated? Noticed, hate or appreciate. Thank you. Add a couple of mitches.

Thank you. Who have we got today? Well, you can DM Prize Keeper Jen and get your prize. But today we've got Sarah Hayes. She sends this message in. Is it just me or do you feel like you can do anything when you're like out running errands? Oh, yep. Like I feel like going to the shops on my own and like getting all these things done

or like walking around and buying things that I need to buy. I'm like, I just feel like a boss bitch. I feel like I can accomplish anything at that moment. Don't need a man. Don't need anything. Even though I've got a loving partner at home, I'm like, no, I don't need anyone. I can conquer the world. Is it just me?

God, no, it's not just you. I know exactly what you mean. But I like to get them all done when I'm out of the house. If I go home, I'm not leaving again. Oh, yeah. There's something about being out, getting stuff done, no traffic on the road, the sun is shining, music on. There's always traffic.

There's nowhere to be. I think you can only truly get shit done on your own because even if I go out with my partner, I get distracted. He doesn't want to be in the shops I'm in. I feel like I'm in a rush. Should we get a coffee? Yeah, it's like who's hungry? Not me yet.

I'm starving. It's just that you don't align. I'm always surprised slash frustrated at how long errands take. I'm like, oh, I'll just duck out for half an hour. And then I'm like, what the fuck? It's 5pm and now I'm stuck in peak hour traffic. How did this happen? 14 bags of stuff I didn't need.

Always. I drop my dry cleaning in on the weekend and she goes, you'll get this ready for Friday. I'm like, that is almost a week. Do you need a week to dry clean a suit? I don't think so. It's a busy time of year, Mitch. Formals and whatnot.

Good point. Good point, Natalie. I don't think I've ever had to get a suit dry cleaned. So that's a you problem. What, do you just buy them like paper towel and throw them out? You've got a reel of them at home. No, I don't have any of them that are that fancy that they need dry cleaning.

They'll be right. Oh, but I always have to because it gets creasy. Joel Creasy. Joel Creasy, yeah. Because we're the same size because we're both thin. Have you been on the cover of Men's Health 2 like Joel Creasy? Yes, but it was like, do not do this. It was the before shot.

In brackets, lack thereof. Well, they thought, we're not selling any mags because we keep putting, like, hot men. So they thought, let's put someone overweight. And sadly, it's over two covers. Yeah, and they've since been rebranded. To? To what? To men's wealth.

Kazam! Bronwyn, come pick me up, baby! See you later, fuckers! Who the fuck's Bronwyn, come pick me up, baby! See you later, fuckers! Who the fuck's Bronwyn? Bronwyn Bishop. Bronwyn Bishop is Angela Bishop's mother, whom we love. She was made to retire from Parliament because she was using the government helicopter

for her own travel purposes to the shops. And to events. And taxpayer-funded helicopter to go, what would have been a 40- minute drive to a golf course. Oh, that was a bit like recently Taylor Swift, Kylie Jenner were getting slammed for using their private jets to go down the road to the shops. Exactly. To the local JJ's.

Not quite the same as running errands in a Getz, is it? Oh God, no. It's PJing it down to Kyle's. No worries. What? My mum needed me to pass on a message to you, Mitchell. My mum called me in a white rage two days ago. Why?

And she went, I don't know what's happened, but I'm beside myself. I went, what's wrong? She went, it's Mitchell Coombs. You need to stop doing the podcast with him. What? And I went, why? And she said, well, I was walking through Westfield. Can you talk normally, please?

Yeah, and I was walking through Westfield, and there's this woman that sells baubles that I think my mum went to school with. I think her name's Wendy. And she makes baubles, and she's also a psychic on the side. And she stopped my mum in the middle of Westfield Miranda and said, Michelle, Mitch is doing so well for himself. He's really, really doing well, but I need you to pass on a message. No, not now.

Sorry. He be wary, be wary of Mitchell Coombs. She actually named me? Be wary of Mitchell Coombs. She actually named me? Be wary of Mitchell Coombs. What? And mum went, he does a podcast with Mitchell Coombs. She went, even worse. Be wary.

Not a safe boy. He's evil. He will poison your boy's mind and his bones. And then she disappeared into dust. I need to find out who this woman is. Obviously she knows me because she knows my name. She's just saying that to stir shit. That's she disappeared into dust. I need to find out who this woman is. Obviously she knows me because she knows my name. She's just saying that to stir shit. That's not a psychic prediction.

I went, really mum? She went, yep, that happened. And I went, oh, okay. Fair enough. Anyway, then we went about our day. I'm like, I think that's ridiculous. Mum calls me back and she went, oh, she's just texted me the profile. And I went, oh, forward it to me. And it was Mitchell Coombs Celebrity Psychic. Oh my god. So clearly there's psychic beef amongst the community with you. Yeah, she mitchell coombs celebrity psychic oh my god so

clearly there's psychic beef amongst the community with him yeah she just hates mitchell coombs i get it i get it and i was like fuck she's seen the vision i'm fine as astro tash said we're soul mates but also i can't believe your mother took the word of some loon in westfield and just goes mitch i'm passing it on be wary of mitchell coombs didn't she have the common sense to go oh he's fine you fucking think so But no No I would have run in the other direction

If someone started doing that I would have spat in her face And slapped a bitch face upside Shut up Oh my god Take that mystic Miranda Whatever the fuck your name is I wish she was that way

But it's a wednesday mistake Alright thank you for your message Sarah Now Nat is our guest Should we get our guest, Igemon? Do you want to do an Is It Just Me, Nat? Yeah, have you got one ready for us, Nat? No. What?

Sorry, I forgot about that part of the podcast. The show is called Is It Just Me. Is this a literal rule? I just come on here and have fun. All right, Jenny, surely you've got one. Imagine going on to MasterChef and Jock, Poe and Nathan turn up and go, Are you dish ready? What's your dish, Julie?

I haven't really thought one. Didn't know that's what I had to do on MasterChef. This is MasterChef. Nah, I haven't really thought one. No, that's what I had to do. This is MasterChef. No, I didn't want to get much. No, my apologies. Come back. Pass. Can I pass?

Pass that? No. Think of one while Jenna does hers because it'll be quick. Trust me. Okay. Oh, okay. You ready for yours, Jenna? Yes.

Is it just me or? Is it just me or...? Does nobody disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore? God. The good old days when people would perish. But was that even true? Yes. So apparently the top two causes of disappearance in 1974 were Bermuda Triangle followed by quicksand.

Quicksand? Oh, that's terrifying. Both of which not really around these days. Is quicksand even real? I don't think it is. No, it's real. Trust me. It's been real in history.

An accountant perhaps in Bondi Beach. What happened? No, I don't have an experience. I'm just telling you that quicksand's fucking real. What a dumb fucking question. No, mate, you said trust me. As if you've been sucked in. Like me saying, oh, that pie tastes like shit.

Trust me. It's like you ate a bit of the pie. You said that. I know what I said. I'm telling you that your questions sounded dumb. It was like, is the sun real? Like, yeah, trust me, it's fucking real. When have you ever seen quicksand?

Quicksand is real. Back up your story. But if you say trust me. Okay, do you know what? Trust me means that you've had an experience. Okay, well, do you know what? Maybe it's not real. That's fine.

Can you fucking let me talk? Trust me. We're delirious. What is it? There's nothing They're making fun of the fact that I said trust me No we're not Please Quicksand is real

I don't get it I'm so sorry I'm done You've got more in you I can see the tears in your eyes get it. I'm so sorry. I'll pull it together. I'm just laughing at her. I'm done. You've got more in you. I can see the tears in your eyes. Trust me. Let's fact check it. I can admit when I'm wrong.

Quicksand. Quicksand is real. Do you still not trust me on that? You know what's frustrating me? It is real. Jenna has done when I'm wrong. Quicksand. Quicksand is real. Do you still not trust me on that? You know what's frustrating me? It is real. Jenna has done nothing but sit here. It's real. It's real. Keep out your phone.

Mitch is over there. I gave you facts. I said in 1974, the top two disappearance-related deaths were from Bermuda Triangle followed by Quicksand. Yeah. So that proves that it's true. All right. The answer to your question is yes.

What? Who asked the question? Bermuda Triangle. We need more. I don't know what's happening. I don't think you... Yeah, bring it back. I need more random disappearances in my life.

Is it just me? The rude shocks of young adulthood. Yes, we've got Kiss FM's Natalie Penfold here with us again. And you mentioned at the start of the episode that you haven't been able to shit all week, and I'm very concerned for you. But, Mitchell, you've got a solution, don't you? I do.

I honestly can't envision a day that I'll poo ever again. Matt. No, it's honestly, it's destroying me. Don't say that. We're going to try this. It's some sound effect that you thought of. Why don't I play brown noise? What's brown noise? The B note. Just look up on YouTube. This noise will

make you shit. Yeah. But what if I shit? The brown note, also sometimes called the brown frequency or brown noise, is an infasonic frequency capable of causing faecal incontinence by creating acoustic resonance. Incontinence, doesn't that mean? Oh, is it like you involuntarily shout? Yeah. Oh, that's not good. Let's play it.

But I use brown noise for like focusing. I think the brown note. Oh, it's different. Okay, good. Brown noise. What is this bullshit? There's white noise, green noise, brown noise. What's the difference?

So white noise is like high, low and mid frequencies, but brown noise is just the low, so it's more mask. Oh. Yeah. Here we go. Warning, what you're about to hear is called the brown note. Hold on, I'll get the bin. Natalie, do a squat over here.

We need it. Here we go. Please make sure a toilet is ready and available. Do I just hover above it? Yeah. Oh, that's full. Get me a clean bin, Jenna. My bin's clean.

Ooh. Should I close my eyes? It's working. Is it? It is not. My arsehole is like pulsating. Is it? Is it?

I'm pushing a bit. I'm going to fall over. Why? I've got vertigo. Put your hands on the table. It's always vertigo. No poo. No poo.

Oh, well, now what? I'm oddly invested in this. I want to make it happen. Yeah. I think I'm just going to have to keep you updated. What do these comments say? I've never been more intimidated by a poop warning in my life. Wait.

Imagine having this as your nation's emergency sirens. I would love that. Nat Jeven, did you want to hit out of the park today for the show? Did you think of one? Yep. Oh, you did? Yeah. All right. We ready for Nats?

Is it just me or? Do you put on your pyjamas as soon as you get home? The second you walk in the door, like the first thing you do is walk to your room and change. No, you don't. I used to, but my fucking therapist told me that it's not a good idea. Why? He said that there needs to be a really clear distinction between like rest time and any other time.

Is this a sleep thing though? Yes. Okay. I do struggle to fall asleep, but I'm just not comfortable. So I get home. First thing I do, put my bag down, go to my room, put my nightie on, take my bra off. Yes. I do have like middle ground clothes where it's like, I've got my going out clothes, my sleeping clothes, and then just like- Like loungewear. Yeah. I do have like middle ground clothes. Yeah, that's what I have. I've got my going out clothes, my sleeping clothes and then

just like. Like lounge wear. Yeah. Or like going out clothes that I don't fucking like anymore but they're still comfy. I'll keep them for around the house. Yeah. That sort of thing. My mum has a house dress that she wears around the house. A house dress? Yeah, it's like a black maxi dress but she just like wears it around the house. It does look lovely. It does sound nice, doesn't it? Very summery. It's very nice and soft.

Yeah, very house dress. Put on a house dress, darling. Yeah, I used to live with a chick for a brief while, and you'll understand why in a moment, who used to sit on the lounge and watch movies in her jeans. Oh, no. Mental. That's sociopathic behaviour. Skinny jeans at the time, too.

All the baggy stuff that's in, the skinny jeans. Sometimes when I go on walks and you see men walking in jeans and joggers, you go, you're an animal. Why the fuck would you go on a walk or a jog in jeans? Yeah, it makes no sense. You don't actually strike me as, like, the pyjama type. I feel like you'd just have your undies in a big black T-shirt or something.

That's pretty much what it is. Right, okay. Like an oversized T-shirt, no bra and undies. I can also picture you in a nice silk Peter Alexander set with NP embossed if it's sent to you for free. No, I don't like sleeping in silk. I feel like it restricts me when I move. I need a breathable oversized T-shirt and no pants ever.

And people who wear socks to bed get fucked. Oh, absolutely not. Nothing better than peeling your socks off your feet once you're in bed and then the smoothness of your feet on the bed is heaven. What, because they're a bit clammy? No, no, because they're dry because the sock has soaked it all up. My feet are really dry when they go in there and I dance around. But that's because you have a bit of a sweat problem.

Yeah. I think our feet are always dry, so we don't know that feeling. Oh, yeah, I only have dry feet for three to four seconds. Do you know what's horrible, though? When you kind of get into bed with your socks on and you forget that they're there for a bit, maybe you're lying there for a while with the socks on and you go, oh, shit, I'll take these off.

And it's too late. Your socks have left debris at the end of the bed. You're going to feel grit and shit at your feet. Hayden does this thing which gave me the ick, but then I started doing it and I love it. You know when you're at Christmas lunch and you're all sitting there and you've eaten food and you've all got food comas, so then the plate's sitting there and it's like Australian summer,

so a fly will land on the ham. Sit there and you watch it and it goes. Oh, yeah. It looks like it's plotting. It rubs its hands together. It rubs its hands. Why is it doing that? Hayden sits on the end of the bed like a bullfrog fly

and gets his feet together and goes, Really? The stuff on my feet. He rubs the grit off like a fly. I literally have to go, yes! And then who's going to have to bloody vacuum that up? Oh no, we both vacuum that up. But he gets to bed and he goes, do the shuffle.

And we go, no, but I bet you, you have floorboards in the up. Oh, no, we both vacuum that up. But he gets to bed and he goes, ah-ah, do the shuffle. And we go, ah-ah, do the shuffle. No, but I bet you, you have floorboards in the bedroom. We do. That's why. You never, and this is a tip, never, unless you can't avoid it, have floorboards in the bedroom unless there's like a rug under your bed that you can go like this with your feet on the rug. Yes.

Because otherwise, give it a day, your sheets are clean. I don't even know how much sand is in my house. The equivalent of a beach is sometimes at the bottom of my bed. So you've got to do the plotting fly. Otherwise, my bed's fucked. Guys, get it trending. The plotting fly. Do it before you go to bed.

You have to because carpet gets it off naturally when you walk in. But if you've got the floorboards, it sticks. It sticks. You know, the fly, it's not even like they're potting. It's not even they rub. They sometimes go, yes. Yeah. They kind of bribe what you're doing. It sticks. You know, the fly, it's not even like they're potting. It's not even they rub. They sometimes go, yes. Yeah. You have to describe what you're doing.

It's very visual. Yeah, I've got both hands out and they kind of roll. Like you're washing your hands. Like you're washing your hands, yes. Yeah, very quickly. Thank God Nat's here. I wonder what they're doing. We should do a description.

I was like, how do I describe that? Great idjim. Yeah. I thought that was solid. I love that. That was sensational stuff from our guest. That's what I do. A surprise.

You did shock me. Did you think it would be shit because they didn't have one? No. No, you thought of it last minute, but killed it. I love that. Sensational stuff from our guest. That's what I do. A surprise. You did shock me. Did you think it would be shit because I didn't have one? No. No, you thought of it last minute, but killed it. I loved it. Thank you. It's because I'm thinking at the moment of the fact that my bra is killing me. Oh, well, there's no need to show off around us.

I'm wearing a white dress and we're in an office. Let the girls out. It's fine. Let them out. They are down to my waist. I can't. I can't. Imagine if that's what it took for you to finally shit.

You let the bra off and you're like. Well, if I ever did one in public, I honestly think I could use it all the way under and around as toilet paper. On your tits? Yeah. Gravity's really taken its course on me in the past couple of years. I don't know what the fuck I did wrong. Yeah.

When I was younger, I even wore a bra to bed. You're not meant to do that, right? Because they're big. They're big. So, like, I've always feared that it would get the best of me. And it's starting to. It's genetics. I've also lost weight.

So I think it's like sad tits. Nothing worse than that. Yeah. Not losing weight. Getting the tits. You got them? Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, yeah.

Front and back. Do you wear a bra to bed, Mitchell? No, I don't wear. No, I don't. But I've got pyjamas. I've got. I bet you fucking. You seem like the sort of person.

And tell me if I'm wrong. You seem like the sort of person that would keep your Q But I've got pyjamas. I've got. I bet you fucking, you seem like the sort of person, and tell me if I'm wrong, you seem like the sort of person that would keep your Qantas business lounge fucking pyjamas and wear them. You do seem like that. You do, don't you? Why? If not, you definitely have a robe with your initials in it. I don't have my initials in it, but I do have a Sheridan quality robe.

But it doesn't go around my front. I have the same problem. So I just tie it up and there's maybe three centimetre gap where you can just see my T-shirt. Oh, I thought you just had the dick flopping around. No, that's what happened with mine. I tied it around the waist and then it just sort of like forms a V, like a hospital gown, at the front.

And I'm like, I can't ever wear this when people are over. Yeah. I hope that's been news since you haven't had housemates. Oh, yeah. Just walk out. I have my own bathroom, thank God. Imagine me just walking out and going, whoops. Sorry.

All mates out again. All right, well, that's the show done, isn't it? Yeah. I guess so. That felt quick. It did feel quick. Anything else we want to get out there? Your tits?

No, your shit. Anything else you want to get out? I think both of those will have to wait for the next time I'm back. Well. Seriously, I know that this is weird, but I'm very invested in helping you shit. I feel awful. Well, you just need to have a bit of the Mitch Turi diet. It'll just shit right out.

My shit was neon yellow today. Oh. Ooh. Did you have a super duper or something? No, I had one of those shine drinks. You know those shine... Like a broca. It's like a broca.

You get them at Coles. They're tiny. The tiny bottle. And they're full of turmeric and zinc. It's for your brain. Isn't turmeric the onees. They're tiny. The tiny bottle. And they're full of like turmeric and zinc. It's for your brain. Isn't turmeric the one that's like bright yellow? Yes. That'd be it?

Oh, that was. Yeah. I don't have some sort of issue. Goodness me. Imagine that. How to help constipation. I had a turmeric tea once. Awful.

Never again. Turmeric tea. I love turmeric tea. I love a turmeric latte as well. Ugh. Really? Too potent. Oh, yeah, baby.

Drink more water. Drink more fibre. This will help you shit. Right? Scarlet water. Yeah. Fibre. Fuck, yeah, baby. Drink more water. Drink more fibre. This will help you shit. Right? Scarlet water. Yeah. Fibre. Fuck, what's a good source of fibre?

Metamucil. Grains. Grains. Good. Jenna, where's your bird seed? Exercise more. Rude. Nah, fuck that.

Oh, yeah. If you're working breakfast radio hours, how are you not having coffee poos in the morning? That would fucking do it. And that's what's killing me. It's normally as soon as I have my coffee, it's exiting the building. I pooed twice today. My powers are on strike, I'm telling you. Really?

Yes. I pooed absolutely twice. Absolutely? Absolutely twice? So not just a little nug and absolutely twice. There was mass volume between both. I feel like we have so much unresolved business. She hasn't shat.

We don't know what the fuck cheddar is. Jenna, can you please Google? We'll straight into it. Can you Google C-H-E-D-D-A-R University of Wollongong? Because that is where I went and I have a feeling that's where he was from. Was that like the name of your group or something? For some reason it rings a bell. The Cheddars.

That sounds like an awful name. I know. What's a suburb starting with Ch? There's a Dr. Cheddar at Wollongong University. Oh, that'd be it. Cheddar boys, you're in the Cheddars class. Oh, my God. No. I know. What's a suburb study which... There's a Dr Cheddar at Wollongong University. Oh, that'd be it. Cheddar boys, you're in the Cheddar's class. Oh, my God. No, I remember.

What is it? He meant Chatter. Oh. Yes! What's Chatter? University of Wollongong Chatter! C-H-A-T-T-R. And he had an impediment, so he went Chatter.

What's Chatter? What is it? Is it a debate group? It was like BuzzFeed before BuzzFeed and I did dumb videos for them. Oh. Let's find one, please. And so he was probably in them with you or maybe he was your producer? He would have been my producer.

What are you searching? Mitch Turi, aren't I? So it's almost like your on-campus newsletter in a way. Yeah. This is awful. Did you ever do Vox Pops? They've got a whole playlist of them. I did so many fucking Vox Pops.

Oh, okay. We're getting closer. What social media are you on? Their Facebook page. Oh, God. There's so many. Whose Facebook are you on? Mayo, Jamie Hassel's.

Oh, we found it. Oh, we found a video of you doing chatter. Oh, my God. Convos with chilli. Lockout laws. Oh, this will be profound. I'm already hot and I haven't even had chilli yet. I'm literally shaking.

What was going on here? You had to eat chilli? I think so, to discuss lockout laws. How is it related? You eat it. Lockout laws? Oh, there you are. So they're meant to be talking about current affairs while eating chilli?

I think that Mike Baird had good intentions in mind because people are dying. Wow, political. Wow. People are dying. Oh, I see. It's a...

One punch. I get it. It's a hot take. Ah! Smart. No wonder it fucking went under. Oh, I'm back here. Ready?

No, no, no. No, do not do that. You might know that now. Okay, we'll solved this mystery. The cheddar guy, the random guy that recognised you, actually was somehow related to your university on-campus Facebook group or whatever. But we still haven't made Nat shit. Maybe we need to get her to eat a chilli too.

Kill two birds, one chilli. Yeah, but I don't want a shit and then it to burn as well. Like, I want when that shit comes, I want it to be nice. Wow. Actually, no, I want that for you, like a rewarding shit. Yeah, not like I waited a week for this nugget. It's like I don't want a pellet, I don't want rabbit poop, I want a real Mitch Chury shit.

After constipation they often do come out in pellet forms. Yeah, because they've been hard up there for a while. Pellet. I've gone all dry and crusty. I'll report back. I'll potentially make an appearance on your final podcast of the year to give you an update. All right, well, can't wait for that.

All right, we should get out of here, everyone. Let's go. Yeah, we better. What an episode this was. Next week is our finale, and of course it will be. Imagine this being someone's first episode they listen to. They'll be like, what is going on? Has it been chaotic again?

Do we blame me? Yes. Yeah, it's your fault. But we knew that going in, didn't we? We did. I'll never be back after this one. We love you. Yeah, we were craving it.

We were like, I think we're due for a Nat episode. We need some chaos. It's like a pap smear. You need them every so often. You don't want them. They're not comfortable, but you're better. Trust me. Oh, my God.

I've never been compared to a taxi before. Fucking hell. We'll see you guys next week for the final episode of the year. Thanks for having me. Five star review, of course. One more to go. I can't believe it. Last podcast episode of the year, can you believe?

That's exciting. Yes. All right. Five stars, please. We'll see you next week. Thanks for listening, everybody. Thanks for listening, you. See you.

Bye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment on the end. That's right.

We're going to go even more rogue. Yeah. At least there's no track to try and stay on here. That's kind of nice. That's probably what this episode is about. Chair's fucked, mate. I thought she was having a fit. She's so septic from the shit in herself that she just had a full fit.

I hope that the only content I didn't offer today was shit related. I've got better in me. No, you're full of shit, actually. Yeah. No, I'm weirdly invested in it. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm like. I will report back. Is it hurting?

I just feel bloated and gross. I feel like I've gained like four kilos this week because it's just being stored. You know what I mean? Poor bastard. Fat bastard. I've Googled it. Apparently, the more you relax, the more you shit. Let's push on from my shit talk, I feel. Oh, bastard. Fat bastard. I've Googled it. Apparently, the more you relax, the more you shit. Let's push on from my shit talk, I feel.

Oh, okay. Okay. I just suggest you listen to some calming music. Okay. Thank you. I'll try it. Not that deep, whatever, the brown sound or whatever we played before? That brown thing didn't work.

No, this will help. Ooh. Does this get you going? Ooh, turn it on. Hang on. What's this? This has got a bit of brown note to it. Booty, booty.

Booty, booty. Mm, mm, mm. Scooby dood up. Ha ha! Time to do a shit. Time to let it out. Squeeze it hard. Let it go.

Pull the shit out Cover your nose No matter the shape We won't hate Who is you? Who is you? That was the hook. Who is you. That was the hook. Pooh is you.

Are there any shit game songs that might encourage it? Rose is real, it smell like poo, poo, poo. Remember that song? Oh, yeah. What else is poo? I think that was on SingSoul, wasn't it? I know you like to thank you. No.

And like you played the right version. Can you go again? That was perfect. I know you like the right version. Can you go again? That was perfect. I know you like to think. I know you like to think. It's Roses. Your shit don't stink, but lean a little bit closer. Roses really smell like poop, poop, poop.

You're an idiot. That song's not even called Roses. Yes, it is. Is it? Yeah. Sorry, I came in real hot with that. Oh, in a bed. There's a lot of roses here, guys.

Okay, guys, give up. One more, one more. Give up. Look up Outcast. With a K. Oh, yeah. Here it is, here it is, Oh, yeah. Here it is. Here it is.

Here it is. Here it is. Yeah. I know you like to thank you. You don't stay. But lean a little bit closer. See, roses really smell like boo-boo. I was at an age where it was like, they said poo.

Yeah. Like, I pieced that a lot with my humps. I was like, they're talking about the bees. Yes. Were your parents really strict on what you could and couldn't listen to? Oh yeah I couldn't watch The Simpsons I wasn't allowed to watch South Park I was banned from listening to Eminem

I was allowed to watch The Simpsons But they drew the line at Family Guy Because that was just like too far apparently See I find Family Guy's cryptic enough That a young kid wouldn't get the jokes Oh I got them I was a filthy little fucker. I'm into that, Stephen.

But also, do you find that now that you're actually allowed to watch it, Family Guy's not that good? It was only good because it was forbidden. But now that I'm an adult, I'm like, it's actually not that good. But they've also just gone too far now. Yeah. Like, they need to end those. How's The Simpsons still going?

How is Maggie still a fucking baby? Have you heard Marge Simpson's voice recently? Is it a new voice person? No, it's the same one. That's the problem. We almost got cancelled on TikTok. Oh yeah, people did not take lightly to that. I pointed out that she sounds old and withered now and we posted on TikTok and people were like, how dare you?

This binder lists all the cues for the entire production. I definitely ran a tight ship. She does sound like she's battling though. It's really fucking uncomfortable to listen to. You know what I hate? The early episodes and they look a bit off and their voices are a tight ship. She does sound like she's battling, though. It's really fucking uncomfortable to listen to. Do you know what I hate? The early episodes and they look a bit off and their voices are a bit, oh, I can't watch them. There's a sweet spot.

It's like from seasons four to 12. Yeah, like the era of Sideshow Bob stepping on the rake. That's the good era. He's like. It's the draw. I can't do it. Damn it. Go.

You have the floor. Hold on. You do the rake sound. That was perfect. What about that? Such a good scene when he's fighting Bart on the boat. And he just starts singing. Yeah, it's so good.

Yeah, that was good. Simpsons era. I'm logged into Jamie's Facebook still. Yeah, what are you doing? No, no. She was so confused when we changed her current profile picture. The status that Mitch wants to post is thinking about Ukraine. She always leaves her Facebook logged in here at work.

And last time, her current cover photo is like her wedding. And so we just got a stock photo with the watermark on it of a random wedding. And just put that as her cover photo. Should we change her cover photo again? No, because she'll know it's us now because I fessed up. And you know what Mayo's like when she goes, when Mayo goes full Mayo, she'll be like, oh my God, you guys are bullshit. That's fucked, man.

I've got family on there. Now she's attacking. Get off Facebook. Yeah, turn the screens off I'm trying to get rid of these bloody moving boxes And I'm getting so many I don't know how you do this Facebook marketplace thing Why?

They're doing my head in How? Because I put all my moving boxes There's like 25 of them Yeah I'd put them up for free And this woman called Roz messages me and goes Hi, I'll pick them up at 9.30am on my way to work

And I said, sure Here's where I live This is my building number This is my apartment number And she goes, hi, I'll pick them up at 9.30am on my way to work. And I said, sure. Here's where I live. This is my building number. This is my apartment number. And she goes, I'm very stressed. I said, what do you mean? She goes, I'm very stressed at your instructions. I thought this would be easier.

I said, well, then don't come. Are they fucking free? Yeah. I was like, don't come get the boxes then. She goes, I'll be on my work time. I can't waste time. And I was like, then don't come. And she goes, can't you just load them into the boot for me?

And I was like, what, like a drive-by?'t you just um load them into the boot for me and I was like what like a drive-by you're not even gonna stop me I just throw them at her as she's driving past that's what an awful thing to ask like she's trying to bargain with me even though they're free I'm like fuck off Roz Roz definitely like the name Roz is on par with Karen oh I've never met a Roz I've enjoyed actually no that's not true your mother that's my mum she's Roslyn to me though she's She's Roslyn. She's Roslyn. What's your mum's name, Mitch? Jane. Jane, of course it is. It's my middle name.

Is it? Natalie Jane Penfold. Oh, that's nice. I like that. Very white. NJP. NJP. I'm Gage and I'm Ben's son.

Hayden is doing a market stall this weekend at the local markets and he wants me to help. Wait, what's he selling? His clothes. Yeah. Oh, okay. I'm sure all the thrifty secondhand markets are, I feel. I was like, can I sell some of my stuff? Can I get in on that?

I've got two garbage bags full of perfectly good clothes that just don't fit. I do think you have to like. You have to pay. You have to pay, but also like you only get one table. Have you already paid? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been booked in for months.

It's not cheap from what I know. No. But you'd hope you earn your money back, I think. Yeah, it's like $500 for a store. Oh, forget it. I'll just fucking donate them. I donate all my clothes often because I fluctuate so heavily. There's something about secondhand clothes that even if they've been worn once,

I'm like, don't want them. Really? And I don't have the money to be like that, so I'm not being elitist. I just, as soon as they're worn and not in their, like, original shape or, like, slightly out of it, I'm like, ugh. I'm the opposite. I like to pump up their ties. If it's secondhand, I'm like, this is fucking exceptional

for a secondhand shirt. And I try and do it justice. Like, I'll wear it more often because it's, I'm like, if I wreck it, what's the loss, you know? True, and I wish I was like that, but no. Yeah. I wish, but I could. I'd just wear whatever I can take.

At this point, I'm lucky to even have clothes. Mate, you're wearing a Balenciaga shirt today. Not true. Are you? Is that good? I'm not really, I don't understand all the labels. Yeah, it's nice. Not at the moment.

Oh, my God, yeah. You can't wear that anymore. You can. No, you shouldn't. They're not cancelled. They are. If I was making money from Balenciaga, that's a problem. Did I make this up, Natalie? Or did you have, like, really fancy slides? Gucci slides. They're not cancelled. They are. If I was making money from Balenciaga, that's a problem. Did I make this up, Natalie?

Or did you have like really fancy slides? Gucci slides. I have Gucci slides. And Givenchy slides. How much are they? I think the Gucci's are around like 600. Oh my God. Are you joking?

I was gifted them actually. Okay. The Givenchy's I bought and they were probably around 500, I think. But I've had them for years and I wear them to death. Like instead of thongs, I'm constantly wearing them. I'm in my slides here as well. I much prefer them. But I've got the Crocs brand and there's room for the little pendants.

For the gibbets? The gibbets. Is that what they're called? Do I want to do that? What's the most expensive shoe you own? Crocs are cool now, though, by the way. Are they? Yeah.

Oh, good. Crocs are in. I've got the Gucci Crocs. For God's sake. The Crocs is the brand, though. Yeah, but they're like collab. Oh, good. Crocs are in. I've got the Gucci Crocs. For God's sake. The Crocs is the brand, though. Yeah, but they're like collab. Oh, okay. They're very nice.

How much are they, the Gucci Crocs? $800. $100. Oh, my God. That's a bit of a joke. Because I thought you were going to say $60 for your fancy slides. Then it was $600. $60 for Gucci slides?

That's what I thought you were going to say. Oh, no way. Mate, you can get Adidas slides for like $60. Yeah. Or Crocs ones for, I think I paid $40. That's good. Yeah. The cheapest thing in a Gucci store would be you're lucky to get something for $300.

A key ring. Yeah. A key ring, if that. Or like a card holder. Yeah. I bought Missua sandals. Remember those? Oh, yeah.

With the little spikes that Grandpa got? Are they amazing? But they were fucking over $100. Yeah, but they try and argue that, oh, it's orthopedic or whatever. No, they hurt. But is it really? They say you have to do it in stages. Like, the first time you wear them, you have to wear thick socks

and then you go to a thinner sock and then you go to barefoot. No. Or like training wheels. I feel like I'm walking on needles. I've been mine. I've been there. What? Walking on needles. I've been mine. I've been there. What? Walking on needles. I'm sorry. Trust me.

Does it hurt? Does it hurt? What? Does it? Sorry. Can you guys make sense to everyone? I know that you make sense to each other and that's beautiful to do this. I don't even get it. But make sense to everyone.

Oh, even you don't get it. Shit, well, you're doomed. I have actually lost the pot officially. Running on empty. But, hey, happy to be here, guys. Now, if you were a food, what food do you reckon you'd be? I'd probably be a churro. Oh, you would?

You'd be a big churro with legs. I wouldn't say big. Chocolate? Tall. Chocolate dip? Well, on the bottom. Get it? What would Mitch be?

I've lost track completely. Mitch would be... Here you go. I think Mitch would be a kiwi fruit. Why? A bit furry but sweet inside. He'd be a pretzel to me. A bit prickly but sweet inside.

Yeah. Salty as fuck. Is that what you're getting at? I think so. Should we call Sean? See if he bends him around. Oh my God. Wraps him around.

Let's get Sean on the phone. Your George is dislocated. Let's call Sean? See if he bends him around. Oh, my God. Wraps him around. Let's get Sean on the phone. Your George is dislocated. Let's call Sean. Get your George. Kerning over there. Oh, shit. He's in the Northern Territory. Yeah, that's an international dial tone.

You can tell. Anyway, Jenna, what food would you be? I feel like porridge. I disagree. You haven't said anything. I disagree. Uncle Toby's. I'm getting Aunt Toby vibes, but I'm not sure if it's the green shirt.

Entropy's gross. Shut up. Make your wee smell too. Gross. Just stating facts. That is a fact. That's true. What would I bet?

Plum. Oh, because I'm juicy. Juicy. And you've got a heart of gold pit. What fruit would you bet, do you think, Mitch? I think we've already covered me. No, but what do you identify as? We labelled one.

Yeah, we've told you. We've never thought about it. I like the kiwi fruit one. I don't mind that. A bit furry. Yeah. A bit furry. A bit uncomfortable at first, but otherwise you get around to it.

Yeah. I'm just thinking of you with a giant bush now. Yeah, well. Do you have a bush? Well, I haven't got nothing there. I've gone through puberty, you realise. Nothing's weird. I don't have nothing. It just comes and through puberty, you realise. Nothing's weird.

I don't have nothing. It just comes and it's like, bail. You know what I mean? It just comes out. When it comes? It comes out of the skin. Oh, the penis. The penis. Why am I acting like I can't say the word?

It just comes out. You're not on kindling radio. Welcome to elf radio. Yeah. Imagine if you chew that. Are you shaved down there? Just while we're on it. I'm clipped.

Okay. I use like a four on my beard trim. You give me big bush vibes. Oh, no. Big bush vibes. Hillary. Let's call her Hillary. You always make such like bold claims about Jenna.

Last time you were here, you said, don't you reckon Jenna would be a shit root? I stand by that. She would. She'd do anal though, for sure. Oh, yuck. No, no, no. I don't reckon. What do you mean yuck?

How dare you? It's your room. Read the room. Quiet. No, actually. We don't reckon. What do you mean yuck? How dare you? It's your room. Read the room. Quiet. No, actually, we're already free. A scent. What would you smell like? 50.

50. Oh, lame. Mitch? Oh, let me mull it over. Jenna, you go. Lavender. Oh, you do look a bit lavender-ish. You look a bit lavender-y.

I think I'd be... You'd be pepper. If you were lavender, you'd have like a calming influence on others. Do you reckon you do? I can, depending on my mood. She's also just quite feminine, like a lavender. True. I get chamomile from Jenna.

Oh. You got the camel bit, bro. Yeah. I don't know why I said that. You have camel toes. Is that why? No. Show me your jutsu.

No. No. She's wearing tights. You have a camel toe in those tights. That's for sure. Is that why? No Show me your jutsu No No Get the dog there She's wearing tights You'd have a camel toe in those tights That's for sure How is it possible For someone to have camel toes

Plural I don't know Like you have them all the time You said it You said it You were thinking it This is set it spray it What's that expression

You know how I told you Don't spray Say it don't spray You know how I said I've got the garbage bag of clothes? Yes. I found these pair of shorts and I was like, why don't I wear these? I haven't wore these in years. These are great.

Did you spell the crotch? No, no, nothing like that. But it wasn't until I was out in public wearing them that I realised, oh, that's why I don't wear them because I've got a fucking moose knuckle. It's not good. I said, are they crotchless? I have crotchless pants. What was that?

Eating them out? The crotch. Now dogs are they crotchless? I have crotchless pants. What was that? Eat them out. The crotch. Now dogs eat the crotch out of pants. What? That's never happened to me and I've got three dogs. Really? All right.

Have you ever had the crotch even out of your pants? No, do you know why? I thought you were speaking English. Do you know why? I know this. It was part of my stand-up show. The reason that dogs are so drawn to the groin area, you know how they always sniff around there? It's fucking weird.

It's because the sweat glands there apparently convey the most information about someone, and I bet you have sweat a lot there. Should I smell your penis and say what I get from them? No. Why not? Iranian heritage. Grandfather's still alive on the mum's side.

Troubled childhood. Drama. Bullied a YouTube. Yeah, started a YouTube. Specifically. I could be a psychic specialist that specialises in crotch sniffing. Groin sniffing. There's those Reiki people that burp on you.

What? I've had Reiki. They don't burp on you. I Google it, Jenna. I think it's a variation of normal Reiki, but I'd like to be burped on and see what it does. Jenna, what'd you get? Okay. Can you what'd you get? Can you stop covering her tracks? She's not googling.

She forgot her laptop again. She's got a typewriter out. She's typing in letters. Old ye old Jenny. Burpy Reiki. I mean, burp Reiki. Burpy Reiki. Does anyone feel healed right now? Ready? You're going to burp on me. Do you want me to come over? I couldn't do that to someone. That's really weird. I'm fine with it.

I'm into it. Yeah, I'll allow it. There he is. There we go. Am I coming? I don't know. It's up to you. Where do you want to burp on? My back? Where do you need to be healed most? The bowels. The bowels. The bowels.

Mitchell just burped on Nat's back. Was that helpful? No. Oh. Yeah, but you have to wait a bit. I thought I had healing qualities. What did Astro Rash say last week? Astro Rash.

No. Astro Rash. Astro Rash said that you are a healer. A healer. No. Nat, Gina, what did you get? So, burping results in the Reiki recipient's energy being soothed and released from the body. Oh my god.

Can we do that for the last episode last week? Find a Reiki burpist or whatever. And get them to burp on Jenna. Imagine if you got it wrong and they actually make you do burpees. Like, get that exercise. Oh, you'd be booked to PT by accident. Oh, that'd be hell. Burpee specialist.

Don't Google Burpee specialist. Don't Google burpee specialist. Jesus Christ. Commando will turn up. Vision PJ. Commando Steve. While we were hooking people in for next week's episode, we should have mentioned that we have figured out what we're making Jenna endure.

Oh, yeah. She's been in the coffin. She's been in the bin. We've got something else lined up for next week. Something bigger. What is it? Bigger in size? Bigger in... Sorry. Oh, you should have done it on my bell again. That sounded a bit...

Jenna, why don't you bend over in front of Nat and see if you can heal her? Wait, no, you're on. I'm not taking it today. Jenna! Alright, we should go. I've lost know. I'm not taking it today. Jenna. All right, we should go. I've lost practice. I've got more in me now.

All right. Yeah, I feel like Nat's just getting started. It's because of my healing. Yes, that's true. I brought it to life. Do you want me to burp on you, Del? No, please no. Okay.

I don't know if I feel freer in this post-show kind of environment. Get the bra off. You'll feel amazing. I can't. I'm telling you. Those things. They're wild. You know the four, six, eight, nine, hang your boobies on the line?

Yes. I could do it. Do your tits hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Yes. Can you tie them in a bow? Yes.

Can you flip them over your shoulder like a something something soldier? Yeah. I reckon I could do all those things. All of the above. Tick. Now, what was your word for a vagina as a kid? Mine was front bottom. Tushy.

Tushy, that's cute. But to me, that's a back bum. Ours was fanny. Oh, that's on your face. That's more visceral than I would think from a child. Mine was cunt. Fanny. Fanny's just as bad, I feel.

And penis was doodle. Yeah. Mine was doodle. Yeah. Mine was doodle. Willy. Now, what was your word for boobs as a child? I think just boobies, yeah. Boom booms. Boom booms?

Boom booms. I got that boom boom pow. Another Black Eyed Peas song. Oh, we're loving Bep today. Where is the love? Do people ever call him Bep? I got a feeling tonight's going to be a good, good night. Oh, that's a banger. Oh, that's a banger.

Yeah, that's a banger. You know what? What's the best of their discography? I didn't mind. Shut up. Just shut up. Shut up. You know what I think y'all slept on?

Can you meet me halfway? Right on the borderline is where I'm going to sway. I will say, Virgie's vocals are a bit shit in that. It's giving national anthem. Oh, maybe. I'm the last. Oh, maybe. I'm the last. Oh, I see. And then be like, let's play some basketball.

Can you find Meet Me Halfway? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't go in. I can't stop thinking, thinking, thinking about you. Will.i.am dropped the ball in that song. Fergie really. Will.i.am dropped the ball in that song Fergie really She sounds a bit shit

That is national anthem. Yeah. Because you know when she's like, oh, well, well. I don't want you to go back. I'm only a witch. I was watching Poseidon's Adventure the other day and Fergie dies in it. Poseidon's Adventure? Yeah.

What is that? The film. I thought that was like a 70s or 80s film. It is. Fergie's that old? They remake it. No, that's Fergie the Royal. Trust me. Fergie was in, trust me. Fergie's that old? They remake it. No, that's Fergie the Royal. Trust me.

Fergie was in, trust me, Fergie was in Poseidon Adventure, the remake. Google, Jenna. I'll get it up on the screens. Fuck the lot of you. Don't you reckon that Meet Me Halfway, it sounds like that was the demo and then they were just like, ah, that'll do. Yeah, they wrote it for someone else and the other person was like, that's shit, and they're like, fuck it, we'll do it.

Poseidon 2006. Thank you. This is what happened. How did I miss that, fuck it, we'll do it. Poseidon 2006. Thank you. This is what happened. How did I miss that? This is all the Fergie scenes in Poseidon. She's the New Year's Eve performer. Then the boat sinks. Oh, so she just plays herself.

The incomparable Gloria. Fiona. Oh. I've never heard of this movie. I remember seeing the original. Yeah, I remember the original. I used to think she was so hot when I was younger. Now she's rank.

Anyway, then she dies, ready? Didn't she go to rehab? Probably. He wasn't. Look, she dies. Oh. Look at the watch. It's a live cross to the Titanic.

Look at her. She's melting. She's in love with a captain. Is that captain? The captain's out of... Oh! 4199? Oh.

I remember watching Poseidon Adventure because I was such a Titanic nerd. Me too. And I was like, oh, my God, there's another movie about a boat sinking. Watch Freddie get knocked off her feet. Ready? Oh, God, poor Freddie. She's in a gold dress. Ready?

It's clearly red. No. Where is she? She goes up. She levitated. She was pulled to safety by Bronwyn. You're all sleeping on this song. Hold on.

Hold on, before we move on from that. Have you seen that meme that said that like, it says like, if you were obsessed with Titanic as a kid, how was coming out for you? Oh, wow. And then the other day I saw Sarah Harris post an Instagram photo. She made a Titanic birthday cake for her son because he's obsessed with Titanic. And I was like, he's going to realise some things in a few years, isn't he? Maybe.

Yep. How old's the kid? He's only five. What mother lets their five-year-old watch Titanic? That's true. My mother, my Jane. My Jane did. let your five-year-old watch Titanic. That's true. My mother. My Jane. My Jane did.

I loved it. I was obsessed with Titanic. It's weird. My Jane. My good Jane. Yeah. What's this? I'm a bee.

I'm a bee. Is this early or late? Late. I'm a bee. They were trying to skew more urban. I'm a bee. I'm a bee. Bee.

I'm a bee. That's not the best. Nah, hang on. We've got to at least get... I'm allergic to bee I'm a bee, bee. I'm a, I'm a bee. That's not the best. Nah, hang on. We've got to at least get it. I'm allergic to bee stings. Where's the EpiPen? It goes to like... Oh, it's not as good as we think.

Yeah, I really think that's all there is to the song. I feel like we're missing... I agree. Also, I'm hitting a wall. I'm ready to go. Anyone else? Just one more black eyed person. What about, um, where is the love?

Nah. Nah. Shit. What about, um... Love? Nah. Nah. Shit. What about, oh, I'm trying. There's like one that I know. Pump It? Pump It. Pump It.

Or what about No, No, No, No. Don't fuck with my heart. Go when you trust me, trust me. Something or other. Honey, baby, lost me, lost me. Actually, if we're only allowed one more song, I don't know if I want it to be that. No, I don't either. One more.

What do we want? I don't either. What about. My Hum's just classic. I want R know if I want it to be that. No, I don't either. One more. What do we want? I don't either. What about... My Humps is classic. I want Ritmo, their biggest hit from 2020. What is it? It was so bad. Ritmo.

R-I-T-M-O. And I think it's not even Fergie. It's like post-Fergie. Yeah. I'm trying to find... Nah, that's not it. Monkey Business. That was the album.

Hold on. Hey Mama? What about... No, no, no, no, no Hey Mama What about No no no no babe No no no no Don't lie Oh that's good It's got Jenna's

Rastafari vibes as well What's it called? Don't lie Don't lie We don't have it in full We have this though Yeah This will be good

Jenna Benson Okay Go Jenna. Hey, what you doing? Aw, this is nice. With the beat telling the fibs now, you say your trust getting weaker. Probably cause my lies just started getting deeper. And the reason for my confession is that I learned a lesson and I really think you ought

to know the truth. Because you lied and I cheated and I lied a little more. But after I did it, I don't know what I did it for. We should end on this song, I feel. I agree. How do I remember this? We hope this podcast made you feel at least 3% better today. That's all. So we do. Right.

So we do. It's a new thing since you came on last. Okay. We love you Nat Penfold. Nat Penfold on all socials. Thank you. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow

on your podcast app.