Is It Just Me? - #142: I’m A Dog, Get Me Out Of Here!

Episode Date: April 30, 2023

We're back sluts!!   In this episode: How’s the ozone layer doing? (11:18) CALL YA NAN (17:28) Why have Prouds Jewellers been shutting down for YEARS? (27:53) Churi’s obsession with WaterTok (34:43) Addressing the Kerri-Anne jungle bullshit (43:48) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (59:33)    Hit us up: @coupleofmitches Send us a text: 0422 948 202See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you! Hello you! Go! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. I didn't even drink at my own 18th because I was adamant that, oh no, I'm not going to drink when I'm an adult.

It's so unnecessary, you don't need alcohol to have fun. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Fuck that! 18 year old you would be so disappointed in me. Yeah,. Fuck that. 18-year-old Drew would be so disappointed in you. Yeah. Cheers to that. Now, here's Mitch Curie and Mitchell Coombs. Oh, we're back.

Oh, did you miss us? Hello, you. Oh, hello, you. I forgot that's our thing. And you. Let's do an Oprah moment. You. You.

You get a hello. You get a hello. You get a hello. Pricekeeper Jenna gets a hello. Hello. Yay. She's back. I'm hello. Pricekeeper Jenna gets a hello. Hello. Yay. She's back. I'm back. Can you believe you had COVID? Yeah. Then you had COVID. And also, everyone was blaming me

for your COVID. That's true. And I had to point, yeah, people were saying, bloody Jenna. But I'm like, you do realise that she had a month off from the podcast and then when she was back, I was working from home. So I've had no contact. This is the first time I've seen her in over a month. And then you got COVID like three weeks after I had COVID or something. It was like three weeks difference.

Well, I had it in January as well. Oh, you gave it to me. Jenna, we pashed that night. We pashed the night before. Oh, so you think I'm, wow, patient zero, am I? Screw you. I don't want to rub it in, Jenna, but I know you said you were having a bit of post-COVID fatigue,

but I swear to God, I feel better now than I did before I had COVID. I don't know what's happened. Oh, that's not right. I know you said you were having a bit of post-COVID fatigue, but I swear to God, I feel better now than I did before I had COVID. I don't know what's happened. Oh, that's not right. I know. No, I've seen TikToks of death. I'm on death talk. And apparently weeks before someone dies, they have a great couple of days. I've had more than a great couple of days.

All right. I am on a bit of a health kick as well. So it might be that. I noticed your local Pilates acting like his Dame Edna. She's like, oh, look who it is. Dame Edna? Yeah, it's like a celebrity. Is she known for Pilates as well? No, but they're treating you like a Pilates acting like it's Dame Edna. She's like, oh, look who it is. Dame Edna? Yeah, it's like a celebrity. Is she known for Pilates as well?

No, but they're treating you like a celebrity. Fitness guru, Dame Edna. Famously known for her lying down in a coffin. All right, so you've been at Pilates. Jenna's been in bed. I've been in Hawaii. Oh, God, I forgot about that. It's been so long.

I got gifts. Oh, my God, gifts. Did you get us prezzies? Yeah. On the last day, because, you know, you have, like, I forgot about that. It's been so long. I got gifts. Oh, my God, gifts. Did you get us prezzies? On the last day, because, you know, you have, like, US dollars left over, and I'm like, I'll use them. Why are you backtracking from your gesture? Don't tell us that you were just doing it to get rid of your money. How was that?

Yeah, good call, actually. Fuck you. I got you a gift on day one with my credit card. And you're like, I thought about you. So, anyway, there's a lot in this bag, and more on that later in the show. But first of all, I'll give you yours first, Jenna. So there you go. It's in a beautiful hibiscus flower bag.

Okay, I just heard the clink on the table. Mitchell, yours isn't wrapped. Close your eyes. Oh, all right. It's for your little Holden. Put your hand out. I'm not leaning over. Jesus.

Sorry. Oh, can I open them? Open. Oh, my God. I love it. What did you get, Jenna? I got key rings. And you know how many key rings are on my keys?

For her car keys? Oh, yeah. Fuck. No, I've got my apartment keys. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for the meritorious. Everything. Of course.

You don't open the door. You haven't touched the door. Not at her house. It's shining silver. She hasn't needed to touch it. You just jingle them because everyone's going to know you're coming. That's like a cat belt. You sound like a cat.

Look at it. Tell everyone what it is. So there's a J and there's... For jail, that's where you'll end up. Yes. No, jail begins with G, doesn't it? Oh, fun. You know how it's spelled?

Gale. Which I don't support. Gale. I don't support. There's also aloha and Hawaii Hawaii little key rings and a little bell. Yeah. A bell? Yeah, it's a little bell.

Is that meant for an animal? Yeah, are you sure it's a key ring? I did get it at a Walmart and they kind of have everything. They do have everything. It just says Island Charms, that's all. Oh, no. We'll know you're coming. Yeah.

Is it just me on the fly or do they literally have everything in every store in the US? It's insane. I went to their Target, and Target here is like a shit mire, right? Yes, yes. But over there, they had every single flavour of Oreos known to man. It's like the weirdest variety shop ever. They had double stuff Oreos on the shelf. You can't even get them in this country.

You can't. It's like at those special American stores. It's like double the feeling. It was amazing. I loved the Walmart. So that's where I got that. And then, Mitch, what did you get? I got, you know, those bobby-headed dogs that people have?

Yeah. It's kind of like that, but it's a man. It's a hula man. It's a hula man. Oh, it's solar powered. Yeah. So you just put it on your dash in your car and it will stay charged. Why does it need power?

Because he moves. When it's charged, he moves. Oh, I thought that was just because the car moves and so he moves. That's exciting. It's powered. It's a little Hawaiian man. Does he have a name? What do you want to name him? I don't know. Duke? That's a restaurant in Hawaii. Dukes. Everyone talks about it. I can call him Duke if you like. Is there any

other Hawaiian names that you came across in your travels? A flight attendant's name was Bailey. Oh, no. This line mate doesn't look like a Bailey. No, he doesn't. Oh, he looks into those hips. He sounds like a geriatric.

Oh, yeah, he does jiggle his hips even when he's not moving. Look at him. That's cute. I do that move in Pilates, by the way. I'm sure you do. He's very camp. Look at his little hands. He is camp. Anyway, there you go, you two. Thinking of you while I by the way. I'm sure you do. He's very camp. Look at his little hands.

He is camp. Anyway, there you go, you two, thinking of you while I was a boy. I love it. Does this mean I have to get a souvenir for you when I go to Tassie in a couple of weeks? No, please no. What, are you going to bring me back an inbred? No, thank you. I just did it so I can claim the whole trip on tax.

Thank you. Fair enough. I mean, it's content, isn't it? I've spoken about it. So now it's a business trip. Take that, ATO. Well, yeah, Hawaii was amazing. I had a really, really nice time for my mum's sixth year.

It was actually beautiful. And we went in 2010. So it was nice to go back in 2023 and see how we've all aged. And my little sister couldn't drink. I couldn't even drink. So now we were adults. It was like a nice little reversal. Did you even drink, though?

I didn't have one drink, no. Oh, my God. I've been sober since September, guys. Wow. I mean, we just heard in the opener there, me talking about being an alcoholic, but I've been a good girl recently too. Yeah. I don't miss it at all. A lot of health kick. Oh, I fucking miss it. Really? I fucking miss it. Maybe I am an alcoholic. No, I don't know. That's the difference.

No, because I feel like if I wanted to miss it, I could. True. I just have kind of like, just stopped thinking about it. But if I really thought about it, I could. True. But I just have kind of like just stopped thinking about it. But if I really thought about it, I'd miss it for sure. Yeah. I've just stopped drinking, A, at home, B, alone. And it turns out that's when I drank a lot of the time. So I'm drinking a lot less.

And did you find that you'd only vape really when you were drinking? Yes. Yes. And now I'm off the vapes. I don't even own one. Well done. Well done. That's fantastic.

Yeah. Oh, congrats. Thank you. Oh, wow, that's huge. Oh, look, we've all changed. I don't even own one. Well done. That's fantastic. Yeah. Oh, congrats. Thank you. Oh, wow, that's huge. Oh, look, we've all changed. Yeah, look, you can't see Jenna, but she's been on a Zempik. So she's actually lost all her body weight. What's a Zempik?

You know, is it for diabetes? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But people are abusing it. And not abusing it. People are using it for weight loss because it works. Yeah, people who don't have diabetes are using it to get skinny and then people with diabetes are like, why is my medication sold out?

What the fuck's going on? Yeah, like, hey, I need to maybe wake up in the morning. Can I have my drug? Thank you. They're making more of it. That's bad, isn't it? Jenna's not actually on those. No, I'm not.

Not that she'd ever need it. Bloody hell. You'd have nothing to lose, Jenna. You'd lose your mind, if anything. I've already lost it. True, actually. Whatever happened to your Zumba era, Jenna? Oh, it's been tough.

So I had to give up my Zumba because I lived too far and it was hard to go to my classes. So I got a Peloton. You got a Peloton? Yeah, I got a Peloton. They're not cheap. I know. Do you love it? With Jenna.

I'm obsessed with my Peloton. I want a Peloton too. What's a Peloton for those who don't know? Jenna, we can do classes. A Peloton is like a bike. It's a riding bike. An exercise bike. Yes, an exercise bike.

But it's like the Apple, the iPhone of exercise bike. It's got a giant iPad screen. Right, Jenna, you can talk. You have it. Yeah. So I'm on a 45-day streak. So I've done it every day for the past 45 days. It's their little programs on the iPad to follow and stuff like that.

Yeah, their classes. But they also have stretch classes, weight classes and all that off the bike. How do you get stretch on a bike? No, off the bike. And they have like boxing classes, so much. It's really good. Oh my God, we could connect our Pelotons, Jenna, and we could compete. Yes.

God, I don't know how you'd do that. I need the accountability of going to an actual class and like not running late because if it was my own willpower, I would never turn that fucking Peloton on. Are they live classes, Jenna, or are they pre-recorded? You can do live ones. On the iPad? Yeah. Mitch, live classes.

They're real, so they can yell at you if you're not keeping up. I'm already going to live classes. I don't need to be sold. Yeah, sorry. I don't work for Peloton. I'm just impressed that you can do that. I don't have the discipline. I want one so bad, I literally climbed on top of one

in the middle of David Jones in the CBD and did a demo. On Mother's Day last year, it was really demoralising. If you've got a fucking pelican, it'll just end up in the same pile of shit, like fads that you go through. It'll be in there with the banjo. Yeah, I know. What's that stupid sound effect thing called? The theremin.

Still in the boot of my car from the day we did it on this show. I'm taking it out. Another cheery fad. How's the DJing going? I sold it on eBay and made a profit because they're rare decks because I had to get the rare ones. By the way, can we talk about the fact that the other day you and I pre-recorded with a guest for the podcast.

Oh, can we talk about this? We can't say who yet. Okay. I mentioned it on my Instagram and it kept people guessing. We can't say yet, but oh my God, it was so much fun. I am equal parts nervous. I can't wait until we're allowed to bring it to you. Oh my God.

I'm so nervous and I'm also so excited because we were pitted against each other. Mitch and I had to fight on the show. That's what the show's about. Have we even told Jenna? Jenna, are you across? Yes, I'm across. Oh, okay. Jenna's across, yeah.

All right. I think I came up to Jenna after it and said something monumental just happened. Yes, and I'm very keen to listen. Yeah. We're not allowed to talk about it yet because they have to make announcements of their own, blah, blah, blah, all that shit. But when I put it on my Instagram saying, guess who the guest was, because I was so excited.

Who could possibly get me this excited? A lot of people guessed Kylie Minogue. I'm just going to put it out there. Not quite that caliber. No. Someone said Dido. Yeah. No. Whatever happened to that? Have you got Dido lined up yet? She did pass away. I can't get her on. No one heard about it. It was off the grid. I didn't know Dido's dead.

Yeah, you've lost her. She'll never be on the show, sadly. Let's begin. Let's start. If it's your first time listening, hi and welcome to Is It Just Me? Every week we start the show the same way. A couple of idioms. Is it just me? Something that we've noticed, something that we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's.

Also on the show today, something that I found in the US and I found myself on TikTok is water talk. Another cheery fad. Okay. Another cheery fad that I'm actually, this is the longest fad. Clearest spot in the garage. No, because I can digest this one. This is why it's sticking.

Water talk, I will explain coming up on the show, but if you're on this part of TikTok, you will get the craze because it's insane. I'm glad you're going to explain it here because I did see a couple of TikToks pop up, you going on about water, and I was just like, I'm going to scroll past this and hopefully he'll explain it to me on the podcast. Yeah.

I want to learn about it here and now. I've got no idea what the fuck water talk is. Well, I'm currently fighting with 49 year old women from the Midwest of the United States who think I am a racist. So we will tell you how that happened. Also on the way, we're going to be just going through the inbox. We've got quite a few DMs and text messages over the break. One of them, of course, being our two cents on Kerri-Ann.

That's what people want to know. Yeah. Kerri-Ann on the I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here jungle. I think the end of Kerri-Ann happened while we were off the clouds. So our take on that on the way. Should I do? Should I start? Should I jump in?

Yeah, go for it. All right. Is it just me or? Did we never get full closure on what ended up happening with the ozone layer? Were we supposed to? Yeah, I'd love to know what happened. Is it still there or not? Is that what you mean?

Yeah, the hole in the ozone layer. Oh, the hole. The hole. I don't know anything about this. I remember I did a presentation on it in year six and I haven't heard anything since. Same. I thought I'd get an email about it or something or it'd be in the news or, I mean, I hate to, you know, rabbit on about a hole.

I am excited about a hole. However, this hole. I've heard. Yeah. Yeah. Heard that about me. The hole in the ozone layer was, if you're not in Australia, it's all, it took up my whole childhood.

Like that trend that everyone's like, I really thought this would be a bigger part of my life. I thought the ozone layer was going to, the hole in the ozone layer was going to end us. It's in the same category as Kony 2012. Yes. Where the problem was never solved. We just stopped talking about it. Yes, we did stop talking about it.

No, no, no. I've Googled. I've done my research. Oh, I was going to say, Jenna, Google, how's the hole? No, no, don't. Not on the work Wi-Fi, Jenna. The hole in the ozone layer, I'm pleased to report, has closed up. What?

We fixed it. How? We stopped using aerosols. That was the problem. What do you mean we stopped using aerosols? We worked out that greenhouse gases were opening up this ozone layer, wraps the earth, and it protects it from UV light and harsh radiation coming from the sun.

But in Australia, or wherever it was, we were using aerosols and it would eat away at the ozone layer. So all this harsh radiation was coming in to the country. And so when you say we stopped using aerosols, what? Yes. I've got that many aerosols right here in my mutt pack on my person at all times. They've changed. They used to have harsh things in them.

Oh, good. Yeah. Okay, because I'm like, does that mean I have to get rid of my dry shampoo all times. They've changed. They used to have harsh things in them. Oh, good. Yeah. Okay, because I'm like, does that mean I have to get rid of my dry shampoo? No. I love this aerosol. No, no, no. We used to have something in it. Because I remember I stopped using it after my year six presentation. Using what? The aerosols, like deodorant aerosols. You stopped using deodorant, did you? No, for the roll-ons. I used the roll-ons

instead. Oh, I used the roll-ons too. And I still do. That's because I sweat a lot. The roll-ons. I use the roll-ons instead. Oh, I use the roll-ons too. I wanted to save it and I still do. That's because I sweat a lot. The roll-ons aren't as satisfying, you've got to admit. Yeah, I know. Spraying it under your pits feels a lot more effective than a little roll-on. And also, I don't want to get too up close and personal with the roll-on to my pits. I'd rather just spray from a distance.

I use a cream these days. A deodorant cream? Yeah, it's a cream. What? Thereodorant cream? Yeah, it's a cream. There's a cream? Yes, it's a cream. Oh, yuck. Wouldn't you have to wash your hands afterwards? That's a lot of admin.

It's in a stick and it goes on. Oh, like a chapstick? Yeah, it's like a chapstick. It's really good. So it's not a roll-on, it's a smear-on. Yes, it is a smear-on. Oh, don't say it like that. Yeah, I was going to say, that doesn't sound fucking pleasant, does it?

Yeah. Anyway, listen. So there are no more substances that are causing harm in the ozone layer since 2004. They've tried to stop them. Hydrofluorocarbons, which is a controlled substance that was in aerosols, and they've removed it now. And the ozone layer, it's not fixed. It has closed up.

There is still a hole, but it's not getting any bigger. It's not being fucked daily by your Batiste dry shampoo. It's not Batiste. It's Clarane. Oh, sorry. Yes. Clarane. Yes. I've been telling people I use that shampoo and I've been telling people I've been using chlorine in my hair for years. I couldn't

say it to save my life. I thought it was chlorine. Is that it? I thought chlorine. Yeah, when I first started promoting Clarane, all of their hair care products, I did ask them, how do I pronounce it? And they said, ah, when I first started promoting Clarane, all of their hair care products, I did ask them, how do I pronounce it? And they said, ah, it doesn't really matter. People pronounce it differently.

And then the second time around they said, actually, say it correctly, which is Clarane, apparently. Wow. There you go. It's not like I didn't try to get to not fuck this up. Sorry, the hole, Mitch, Mitch, pull your pants up. The hole was impacted by CFCs. Remember CFCs?

You would not talk. Hunt's fucked. No. At school they'd go, you're using, you're using some harmful CFCs. I was a child. I would cry if my grandma used her hairspray. I'd be like, put down the Schwartzgauld by your bitch. You're making the hole bigger.

So chlorophyllurocarbon? Yes, that's what I just said. Yeah, CFCs. And then they created the Montreal Protocol, which was a whole bunch of climate activists that came together in Montreal, I'm assuming. And they said, we all need to, every country in the world needs to be vigilant about adhering to these new standards of getting rid of CFCs. They did it.

And then now the ozone hole is not getting any worse. It's in fact healing mildly. I do feel that we should have gotten some sort of congratulations about that. I agree. We actually did something to stop climate change. They tell us when everything's fucked, but they don't say it's all good now. That's true. Yeah, that's such a good, even with COVID.

There's been no closure on COVID. Before that, in late 2019, it was all about the drought and the bushfires. And people kept asking me well into 2020, how are your parents going with the drought? And I'm like, they've had one of the most prosperous years ever. If anything, it's raining too much. And now here we are, it's flooding. So no one ever said on the news, the drought's under control. They just told you when it was really bad. And then COVID took all the attention. No one got an update.

I think there's a few of these, actually. If you're listening and you're going, oh, my God, this, DM us a couple of inches. Whatever happened to? Whatever happened to ISIS? Cody. Cody. Like I said. I thought I was going to get beheaded in fucking World Square in the CBD because I thought

ISIS were going to come and then they just disappeared. Yeah. Where are they now? Where are ISIS? Anyway, I'm glad the ozone layer is healed. Yeah. Good for her. Yeah.

I love a healthy hole. Same. Isn't it funny that the earth was essentially sniffing poppers and the hole was just getting bigger and then it's like, ah, no more poppers earth. And now it's just a healed, healthy, monogamous hole. Because it was obviously polyamorous beforehand and a slut of a hole. It was open. It was open. Yeah. God, I couldn't think of anything else. In a slut of a hole. It was open. It was open.

Yeah. I couldn't think of anything else. In every sense of the word. In every sense. Anyway, Ozone, we're thinking of you. Shout out if you're listening. Yeah, shout out if you're listening. And if you have any of these, whatever happened to,

let us know. We'll continue the series. Yeah, we'll put a thread in our Facebook group. Yeah, of course. Enduring Idiots is the Facebook group. Hashtag check your hole. Check our hole. It's the world's hole.

Oh, God. Okay. All right, should I hit you with mine? Is it just me? Yes, hit me. Idiots is the Facebook group. Hashtag check your hole. Check our hole. It's the world's hole. Oh, God. Okay. All right, should I hit you with my is it just me? Yes, hit me. Is it just me? Or? Do you ever feel like you're a bit of a lousy grandchild?

Oh, wow, we're getting deep. It's not that deep. Sometimes I do, yes. Do you? I'm pretty good with my grandparents, but yeah, sometimes I feel guilty. Actually, you of all people, I can't imagine any reason why you'd have to feel like you're a lousy grandchild. Aren't you always spending time with your family? Yeah, no, I don't feel bad. I'm going to get lunch with my nan tomorrow and then my alma's over on the weekend.

So I'm seeing both my two grandmothers in the next four days. Oh, that makes me feel so guilty. Why? Oh, because one of my grandmothers on mum's side, she lives in Sydney. Not close to me. She's probably just over an hour away from me. I didn't know she lived in Sydney. I know.

That's the thing. And I feel really bad because I never visit unless mum's in town, in which case I'm like, oh, okay, if you're in town and you're going to see nan, I'll come with you. It's because I feel a bit socially awkward going to see her by myself. What do I talk to her about? It's your own grandmother. No, but what do I talk to her about? Grandmother things.

Buy her a scotch finger and have a cup of tea. Do you know what, though? Grandmother things. It's funny you say that because I caught up with her recently when mum was in town. And my other grandparents, the ones that live in the country, they are so deaf and honestly just not all there anymore. So I'm so used to being able to have loud as fuck conversations in their presence and they can't hear me or I'll mutter smartass little things under my breath and they won't hear it.

But when I caught up with my Sydney nan recently, I realised she's quite switched on. Yeah. And I don't have to talk to her like she's an old person. I can talk to her normally. And I was making little smart-ass comments under my breath and she was, like, laughing and giving me that look like, and I'm like, I feel like my nan might actually be a bit of a legend

and I didn't realise. Yes, you've written her off. I'm like, I think she's an icon. And I thought, okay, now that I know that, I should spend more time with her, shouldn't I? But the other day I found out that because one of my aunties that also lives in Sydney, she moved away to Queensland and apparently Nan was filling out some form and it had next

of kin and she said, I don't have one. Oh. Well, what a piece of shit I feel like. Because she's like, I don't have any family in Sydney. I'm like, oh no. She does. She doesn't feel like she can rely on me. Mitchell, you have, if you make her laugh, that's a brilliant connection.

I know. I know. And so I said to Sean, right, we need to go see my grandmother If you make her laugh, that's a brilliant connection. I know. I know. And so I said to Sean, right, we need to go see my grandmother. We need to visit, do a lunch or something. And he's very close with his grandmother, I know. Yeah, he's great with old fucks. It's so perfect if I bring him along. I see a lot of myself in Sean.

Not physically, of course. I never touch his hole. But you know what I mean. Metaphorically speaking. But yeah, I said, we've got to go see her. And so we're planning to go visit her this weekend. But I still haven't even called her to ask if she's free this weekend. Well, you can't just turn up.

I know, but I'm nervous. I'm too socially anxious to make the call. What do I say to her? It's your grandmother. Hi, doll. I'll be over this weekend. What do you want for lunch? My shout. Love, Mitch. I know, but is that enough? Because I feel I feel like a 30-second phone call with her, is that slack in itself? Should I be trying to flesh the conversation out? No, no, no. Because then that's when your anxiety will skyrocket.

Just keep it short and sharp. And then save it for lunch. Yeah, save it for lunch. Nothing worse than blowing your load on a phone call and then having to actually get together and go shit. I wouldn't know. I've never blown my load on a phone call. It's actually very fun.

I think you should do a quick little phone call. Do you want to call her now? Yeah. Oh, no, not now. Call her now. I don't know what to say to her. She might not even fucking recognise my voice. No, I'm not interested in any Avon product.

Do you call your grandmothers much? Yeah, I call my Alma often, once every couple of weeks. For any particular reason or just to catch up? If I'm in the car, you know me, I can't sit still, so I will call someone. And if all my friends have stopped answering and all my family have stopped answering, I go to Alma. Can't call Nan anymore. Bless Nan.

She's not there in the head like she used to be. But Alma, oh God, yeah, Alma will go on. Why don't, should I call Alma and then you can write some notes? That actually would be helpful. How to interact with your grandmother. The only reason I feel bad about calling her is the thought that it's a very quick phone call. And I'm like, oh, I feel like I should be talking more than just, you're free on Saturday. Great.

See ya. Okay. Can you have a quick, pleasant conversation? Why don't you, Jenna, start a timer for like 60 seconds and I'll show Mitch how easy it is to have a quick conversation with your grandma. Okay. I don't know. I just have this stupid social anxiety about maybe that's not enough because maybe she wants to chat longer because she's old.

She doesn't have much time left. No, she doesn't chat to many people during the day. You're overthinking this. Yeah, don't think about it. It's your blood and bone. I suppose. I would love to speak to my grandparents, but they're dead. Oh, don't say that, Jenna.

You're right. That would make me feel bad if she died and I didn't make more of an effort. Let's get a celebrity psychic in so Jenna can call. I want to call mine. Let's get Mitchell Coombs in. Yes, can we? No, I'm going to call Alma, my Dutch grandmother. Alma means grandmother in Dutch.

She is cooked in the head, I will say that. Should I call her, Mitch? Do you want to write notes? Yeah, no, go on. Should I time it? Yeah, don't cut me off. No, no, but I'll just see. We'll just try and wrap it, yeah.

She might not answer the private number. She probably thinks it's Aussie broadband. She'll freak out. Come on, Alma. Hello? Hello, Alma? Yeah. It's Mitch.

Hello, Mitch. How are you? I'm good. Why do I own this honour? Oh, please. I'm just calling to say hi. Oh, isn't that sweet? Yeah.

How are you? What are you doing? Oh, you've put me on hold, I think. There you go. Oh, sorry. What are you doing today? Well, I'm just about to cook. What are you going to cook?

I'm cooking a seafood dish. Oh, yum. Yeah, sounds lovely. All right. Well, listen, I'm going to see you this weekend. Yes. Yes. Love you. Mommy's birthday. Yes. I know, the big six-oh. Good. I just wanted to say hi. I'm looking forward to seeing you this weekend. Love you. And can't wait to catch up. Oh, good on you. Oh, that's lovely. And listen, how's Hayden? Is he good? Yeah, he's good.

He's good. Yeah, he's great. He's busy. Very busy. He's got a lot of people he's talking to and things are happening. Oh, all right. Okay. That's all right then.

That's fine. All right. Well, I'm looking forward to meeting up with you again. Yeah, me too, Omar. I can't wait. I'll see you on the weekend, okay? Love you. All right, darling. Thank you for calling. Of course. Anytime. All right. I'm looking forward to meeting up with you again. Yeah, me too, Alma. I can't wait. I'll see you on the weekend, okay? Love you. All right, darling.

Thank you for calling. Of course. Anytime. Love you. See you, Alma. Bye, darling. Bye. God, she's cute.

Does she have a mobile phone? Yeah, an iPhone. Oh, wow. One of those flip covers, too. You know what? In my defence, I do text my grandmother. She knows how to read texts but doesn't know how to write them. So she gets the messages but just doesn't ever reply.

I get ghosted. Alma texts too and she's passive aggressive. She said, Dear Mitchell, did you send a text? No, you didn't. I'm no longer important. Or was I ever? You always are to me. Take care.

I know you lead a busy life but you haven't been put on the planet to work. Love, Alma. Jesus Christ. Yeah. It's a real love hate sort of thing. That is very guilty. It is. God love her.

So did you get some tips from that? Yeah. I mean, she didn't seem offended that you wrapped up the phone call after only 60 seconds. No. No. Not at all. Well, she kind of wrapped me. She said, I'm cooking a seafood dish.

Yeah. Wow. Wrapped me. So Mitch, do it. You can do it. Do I have to do it now? Do you want to do it now? Oh yeah, he's going to take my word for it that I'm going to do it later.

What would you be comfortable with? Oh, neither. I think you should do it. Do I have to do it now? Do you want to do it now? Oh, yeah, he's going to take my word for it that I'm going to do it later. What would you be comfortable with? Call her. Neither. I think you should do it now. Just call her on speakerphone. Don't do it through the desk. I don't even know why it makes me nervous. It's so stupid, isn't it?

It's your nan. We talk all the time on the phone. Huh? It's your nan. We talk all the time. I thought you meant you talk to my nan all the time over the phone. I'm like, what? Since when?

It wouldn't surprise me. Since the fuck when? I do love an Aldi. They just listen. They forget. I've already told them. So do I. We go around in circles.

Oh, God. Call her. You can do it. Do it. What's her first name? Valda. Oh. It's Val.

Call Val. Keep it short and sweet. I don't even know what I was talking to Alma about. Waffling on about seafood marinara or some bullshit. Just speak from the heart. Yeah. Okay. I mean talking to Alma about. Waffle on about seafood marinara or some bullshit. Just speak from the heart. Yeah. I mean, I'll try. Also, odds are she might not be fucking home because she's one of those old ladies that

has a life. She's probably at the gym or something. Yeah. It wouldn't surprise me, no. And I have tried to pop in a couple of times because I have to go through her suburb on the way back to Bogangay. And she's never fucking home. Really?

Her neighbours are like, oh, she's down the coast having a long lunch. I'm like, are you joking? Oh, my God. Like, she's got a life. Where does she live? In the Hawkesbury. Oh, Her neighbours are like, oh, she's down the coast having a long lunch. I'm like, are you joking? Oh, my God. Like, she's got a life. Where does she live? In the Hawkesbury. Oh, beautiful area. Oh, wow.

Yeah, it actually is gorgeous. Okay, call her up. Okay. Felder. Hello? Oh, hi, Nan. It's Mitchell calling. Oh, hi, Mitchell.

How are you? Not too bad. how are you? I believe you had COVID again I did I don't even know where I got it to be honest But it was only three days and I was fine Oh, really? Yeah, bit of a miracle

Oh, gee, I've never actually had it But I thought I did once, but it wasn't I don't recommend it I won't say I was disappointed, but No, no, you're not missing out at all. Oh, well, that's not so, is it? Just a quick question. Are you home this weekend?

Yes. Okay, great. Because Sean and I were thinking of coming out for lunch one day, Saturday or Sunday, whichever suits you better. Oh, okay. Probably Sunday. Saturday is a madhouse around here. I suppose you're used to things being a madhouse,

but everybody takes to the road. I don't know why. Yeah, no, that's fine. I'll double check, but Sunday should be fine with Sean as well. Yeah, but if Saturday's you're better for, you know, that's all right. Yeah, I'll let you know if Saturday's better, but we'll go with Sunday for now. We'll just come to your place and we can walk somewhere nearby.

That's easy. Okay. Yeah, there's plenty of places to walk to. Yeah, perfect. It's not raining, but... Oh, no, we'll be right. No, nice to see you again. Yeah, I'd be looking forward to it.

Okay, Mitch. Great. Great. I'll see you very soon. Right. Bye-bye. Enjoy the rest of your day. Bye.

Yep. All right. Awkward landing at the end there, but beautifully done. So well done. Well done. Well done. I don't know why that took me so much motivation to muster up. I was saying in our most recent episode that I hate making phone calls

and I put them off. She's fantastic. Am I just going to start doing all of my life admin on the podcast? I think so. All my phone calls. Next week on the. She's fantastic. Am I just going to start doing all of my life admin on the podcast? I think so. All my phone calls. Next week on the podcast, Mitchell does his taxes. Next week I book in for Kyra, who looks great. Is it just me?

That's enough of these two. Now let's hear an is it just you? All right, first, is it just you back from break? This is your chance to get on the show and have an is it just me of your own. We call them is it just yous. You can DM us at the Couple of Mitch's Instagram account, Facebook. If you've got a question, we'll get you on and you can share what you want to ask. Yeah, and then get a prize.

It's a little bribe to get you on air. That's if Pricekeeper Jenna does her duty and sends the prizes out. Yes, I have been. You're on top of it all. It's good. Yeah, I even got bubble wrap. Oh, wow. Did you? Yes. Did you pay for that with our business account? I was going to say you didn't ask for the company been. You're on top of it all. It's good. Yeah, I even got bubble wrap. Oh, wow. Did you?

Yes. Did you pay for that with our business account? Yeah, I was going to say, you didn't ask for the company card. I should have given it to you. No, I got some from other people. Jenna, we could have given you the company card. Oh, you stole bubble wrap. Yes.

That's fine then. Petty thief. Petty crime. Also, you can't give out that key ring that I gave you. That's your prize. Oh, no, of course not. Knowing Jenna should flog that off. No way.

That's mine forever. Yours to keep. All right. Hayley is in Warrnambool in Victoria. Hello, Hayley. Welcome to the show. Hi. Hi, darling.

Oh, God. Do you need a strep? It's still dull. Oh, I must do. Poor thing, you're sick at the moment. Yeah, I've COVID. Oh. Oh, bugger.

I just recovered from that. Jenna probably gave it to you, the bitch. Yeah, I gave it to her. What day are you in? Victoria. No, what day of having COVID? Is it day one, day two? Day three.

Day three? And you're still feeling a bit rough. I'm in Melbourne. Yep. Oh, wow. The brain fog's also kicked in. Oh, Hayley, you poor thing. All right, well, hit us with your Is It Just You?

Okay, you ready? Yep. All right, Bradley, take it away. Poor thing. All right, well, hit us with your Is It Just You? Okay, you ready? Yeah. All right, Bradley, take it away.

Is it just me or... Has Proud been closing down for like 10 years? They have been closing down for like 10 years. Who was that? Who's been closing down? Proud. Proud. The jewellers. Proud's the jewellers. Oh, that's brilliant. It has. They's been closing down? Prouds. Prouds. The jewellers. Prouds the jewellers.

Oh, that's brilliant. It has. They've been closing down forever. Closing down a down sale all the time. Prouds is an Aussie jeweller. It's just on every ground floor of every Westfield. Always on the corner. And you're right.

They always have banners up that say the Prouds sale. All must go. It's either Prouds or a Wallace Bishop. Oh, my God. Yes. What have you noticed, Hayley? Well, every shopping center I've gone to, like, you know, Westfield, Chadston, they're all having a closing down sale.

But when you search it up, it's been since, like, 2012 or something. Really? Since 2012? No, she's right. I agree. Always closing down. No one's ever in there. And they have 2012? Nah, she's right. I agree. Always closing down. No one's ever in there. And they have all the watches on display as well.

And it's such a bizarre, must be a marketing tactic. Yeah, it must be like every single rug shop ever that is having a closing down sale. You know those ones you drive past on the highway and it's like, oh, rugs must go. Sale, sale, sale. And they're so aggressive. I've never noticed the Prouds jewellers closing down sale. They've got to make it red and bold and in your face. Or Paul's Warehouse, Paul's Warehouse, the shoe warehouse.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All stock must go, closing down. Every shoe must be sold. They must be on feet, the official last day of sales. Then next week it's like, the grand opening of Paul's Warehouse, brand new everything must go. It's like, they're gaslighting us. I'm going must go. It's like, this is when they're gaslighting us. I'm going to go to the Proud's website and see what they're advertising currently

because if there's a sale on their website, I actually wonder if they even have a website. Have you ever gotten something from there, Hayley? Yeah, I got something in literally about 2011. I got some earrings. Before they went on sale. Yeah, you paid full price. I did.

But when you go on their website, when you search them up, you can't find anything about them closing down. Yeah, right. So they're all just claiming to be closing down so people panic buy. I have wandered in there a few times because remember how I was in my ring era for a bit? Yeah, I do. I'm not saying the ring era is over, but I keep getting these cheap shit ones that leave rust on your finger.

I've wandered in a few times and then gone, ooh, do I want to pay a few hundred for this ring era that could be a phase? No, I mean, I've stayed in my ring era. You've got to buy good silver. Where'd you get that from? I got it handmade. Oh, must be nice.

I got mine from Disneyland. Nice. For fuck's sake. But it's Pandora. And here I am being like, oh, Proud's a bit out of my price range. You got from Disneyland and a custom black Smith to make yours. And this is Gucci, of course. Sorry.

When you go onto their website and when you search them all up, it has a sale, but it doesn't say anything about the closing down. It's also like EB Games. They've got a sale every second week. Yeah, I know. It's kind of like, have you heard that? I think I've talked about it on the podcast, actually. Have you heard that theory that JB Hi-Fi deliberately try and make

all their posters and shit look really cheap and written in texta so that people think that it feels like a sale, it feels a little bit what's the word I'm looking for? Just doesn't feel as out of reach. And that's why IKEA's food is so cheap to make you think that all their furniture's cheap.

Wow. I've not even noticed that their food's cheap. Do you know what I feel weird about? I've never been to Ikea. Oh, don't rush off, Hayley. It's a lot. And wait till you get a negative rat for the sake of us. I have noticed that I think, is it just me on the fly? Sorry to steal your thunder, Hayley,

but grocery stores need to do sales. More stores that sell items in stock. I want my local cafe to be doing sales once a fucking month. Yeah, a cafe sale doesn't seem like that much of a bargain. It's like bacon, an egg roll and a small coffee, $19. I'm like, that's still a bit much. Actually, now this is just me on the fly. Fuck off the chalkboards, cafes.

They're always like bacon, egg roll. It's never a deal, but you think it is because it's written on a chalkboard. It's the chalkboard effect. I do love a daily special, though, don't you? Like when you stumble upon a real gem, albeit like an RSL, and just that day and that day only they've got baby roast potatoes and chicken or quiche or something. I'm like, gorgeous.

I feel like that used to happen more than it does now, sadly. We used to get that all the time, sales. How much time do you spend at RSLs? Not much. Yeah, no, I'll let you know how I go. I'll probably take Nan there this weekend. Oh, beautiful. Oh, yay.

Yeah, you're bloody right. All right, if you want to get in touch like Hayley did, send us a DM, couple of Mitches. We'll get you a prize out too, Hayley. Hope you're feeling better, okay? Thank you. No worries. Oh, is someone there looking after you, Hayley?

I feel like you're on struggles. Did you hang up on her? She's gone. Sorry, Tunnel. I was doing a welfare check. Well, she's in Melbourne. She'll be all right. What does that mean? She's gone. Sorry, Tunnel. I was doing a welfare check. Well, she's in Melbourne. She'll be right. What does that mean?

You were asked. No, Victoria. Oh, Victoria. Now, Mitch, you were like, oh, how long have you had COVID for? What week are you into it? Yeah, Victoria. It's COVID brain. You can't blame the poor little thing. Alright, send her out a prize, Jenna. And don't forget the new text line. You can hit us up with your messages there. And anything on your mind, really.

0412 712 092. Shit. I didn't forget the new text line you can hit us up with your messages there and anything on your mind really. 0412 712 092 I didn't think that would still work but it's voice activated I forgot about that. Isn't that cool It'd be nice if it would change though a bit over that. We've got a lot of text to get through by the way. We'll get to that later Oh yeah we've got a little mailbag coming up

Now should I bring you my next package I brought you back from Hawaii? What? Another one? Another present for us? Another souvenir? Might not be a gift, depending on how you feel. Okay.

About chemicals. What? I love chemicals. We're a real chemical-heavy show. CFC fucking gases at the start, now talking about chemicals. No, I'm talking about Water Talk. Oh, I didn't realise this was a Hawaii discovery. Yes.

So Water Talk, everyone's on a different side of Water Talk. Oh, Jen is on Murder Talk. Yeah. Mitch is on Hair Talk. I'm on Water Talk and I'm seeing these middle-aged women in the United States drinking their waterers of the day and water of the day is coconut cherry lime cake. And what I didn't realise was in America, cordial doesn't exist. Did you know that?

I did not know that. What, really? Cordial doesn't exist. It's not a product. It's a British thing that we've adopted. But flavoured cordial and flavoured drinks doesn't exist. They have soda. And that's it.

They have SodaStream as well. So it's just soda or water? Soda or water, correct. I brought it here to show you. Oh, my God. So two things you need for Water Talk. And I will say I'm the original Australian Water Talker. Other people in recent days have started to come for this trend,

and I won't name them. Who? All right, hey. Has he? Stolen my content. Oh, my God. That's so funny. That's all right, I understand.

I mean, you know. So this is a Stanley Cup, everyone. Look at it. Yeah, right. You have to drink your water out of a Stanley Cup. Pass it around. It's a giant. It's like an enormous travel mug with, right. You have to drink your water out of a Stanley Cup. Pass it around. It's a giant.

It's like an enormous travel mug with a straw. Yes. How much is that, a litre? No, yeah, I think 1.5. It's in ounces. It's so confusing. What you do is you fill that up with ice and water, which I'll go and do, and then you add, because cordial doesn't exist, flavour sticks.

Flavour packets. Pass them around. I've brought every flavour. So I'm passing Mitchell the Skittles flavour sticks. Jenna, you can have the Hawaiian punch. Okay. Flavour sticks Flavour packets Pass them around I've brought every flavour So I'm passing Mitchell The Skittles flavour sticks Jenna you can have The Hawaiian Punch Flavour sticks These can't be good for you

You want some Jolly Rancher Or some Cherry What do you guys want Cherry This Mitch you'll love this All pink Starburst flavour That's yum

I'm quite curious about that So you guys have a look At the flavours So are we only allowed To pick one flavour Because that's one huge cup. No, no. Oh, you put one flavour in the cup.

I'm going to go get some water. I'm going to go fill it up. Why didn't you fill it before? I didn't think that through. So just stand by. I'm going to go get some. I'm going to get water. Talk about the flavours and what flavours you want.

Well, he's just handed me a Skittles flavour. It said zero sugar, but God knows what that means. I find artificial sweeteners are often worse for you. Actually, they all say sugar-free. Yeah, but they're trying to make it seem healthy. They're like, oh, a fun way to get enough water and hygiene in your daily intake. And then it says naturally and artificially flavoured. Okay, I shouldn't be such a cynic about it, should I?

Because I'm kind of poo-pooing it before I've tried it. But I'm just like, this can't be good for you. But hey, nothing wrong with a little treat. No, I'm curious. And I mean, like, the sachets aren't huge. It's only a little bit of... No. He sort of tried to equate it to cordial, but cordial's a liquid.

This is just some powder shit you put in there. That feels a bit off, doesn't it? I know. It feels like I'm having a barocca when I'm hungover. Exactly. It just reminds me of my Nesquik days. Oh, fuck. I miss Nesquik. Oh, I miss it so much. Surely that's still

a thing. Yeah, it has to be. Okay, good. I'm turning this music. Oh, he's back. I don't need to turn the music off. Oh, well, you can go whatever flavor you like, Jenna. Okay. I'll get one too. What have you guys decided on? I'm thinking the Starburst. I really want to try the Starburst. There's only two left. Oh, no. No, you'll have to try something different.

I'm not allowed to have the Starburst? No, but we all have to have something different. Oh, and we have a sip of each other's. Gotcha. Oh, okay. And so where do you buy these? Where do you buy these? Because you, did you bring them from Hawaii?

Yeah, so you buy these at Walmart or the Dollar Tree. They were like $4 for this whole pack. And I will tell you, they're artificially coloured. Yeah, we've been over that. Artificially coloured. They're cancer in a stick. It's essentially chemotherapy. Oh my god. It's really bad for you. But they taste so fucking good. So I'm going to have... And so you can't get these in

Australia? No. I mean, they're like illegal. What? Illegal? Well, this food dye is outlawed in Australia. You can't produce it and sell it legally on the stores, in the shelves in Australia. However, you can import it in, which is what I've done. Now that it feels a little bit exclusive, I'm kind of more intrigued. I'm going to have...

Great. Talk on mic, would you? What's Jolly Rancher? Jolly Rancher is a hard candy. Jolly Rancher's the best, Jenna. The Jolly Rancher Green Apple. Yuck. Okay, I'll try the Green Apple.

I just bit the packet to open it. I've got a bit of Starburst concentrate on my pocket. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're going to – yeah, there'll be a class action lawsuit on these things in about 10 years. We'll all go to get some cash. And so is this your new obsession? Oh, my God, I'm obsessed with it. I have got –

Is it helping you drink more water? Yes, it is. Okay. I'm also being – Even though it's polluted water. Listen, I'm very critical of the water, but I really enjoy them. But the American mums have all come for me. My TikToks have been, like,

got three million views. They've been duetted. Really? Yeah, they've been duetted. I've gone, like, up 30,000 followers. Shit. They've duetted all my videos, and I'm making jokes saying these will give you diabetes. I'm just being a bit silly. However, the mums are really mad that I'm doing that. Yeah, I can understand why an American might not take lightly to their diet being critiqued. Alright, pour it mad that I'm doing that. Yeah, I can understand why an American might not take lightly

to their diet being critiqued. All right, pour it in. I'm already done. And stir. Let's go. Cheers. Here's to water talk. Cheers, everyone.

Cheers. Okay. Oh, no. Oh, yum. Yummy. Oh, yum. Oh, there goes one kidney. Maybe I just chose a dud flavour, but that tastes like when you're a kid

and you can't have capsules, Panadol, so they give you the liquid Nurofen and shit. That's what that tastes like. Try the grape. What is it, grape? Yeah. Green apple's also really good. Try the grape.

What? This grape water just makes me want to vape. This tastes like a vape. It tastes like a vape. It does taste like a vape. Jenna, try it. You should try a green apple. No, I can't have green apple.

No, try it. No, I can't have green apple. Why? Oh, I can't. Why? You're off it? Oh, long story short, it was, I had to fast before I had surgery for Crohn's disease when I was 14. Yeah.

And the only thing I was allowed to eat slash drink was apple juice. And so now it's just triggering. Oh, it's a trigger. It's triggering. Every time I have it, I just want to spew. I like it. It's good, huh? Yeah.

That's water talk, everyone. Okay, so how much water are you drinking that isn't flavoured in a day? Because I'm worried that this probably doesn't count towards the eight glasses a day you're meant to have or whatever. That's the criticism. These waters count towards your daily water intake. Do they? That's the argument that these water mums are making. These water mums.

I will be honest with you. I'm drinking two litres of normal water. Do you know what really fucked me up the wall? Was when someone told me that soda stream water, the fizzy water, doesn't count towards your water intake. Yes, it does. I was like, fuck off. Because I mostly have fizzied water these days.

What on crock of shit? I know. Water's water. This, however. This, yeah, no. Is embalming fluid they use in mortuaries. Oh, God. It's just not strong in flavour enough.

It feels like a watery milkshake, which is frustrating because it's not a milkshake. Yeah, it does. It does. 100%. It's really bad. But, hashtag Water Talk. Go and watch the videos. It's an enthralling watch. It's kind of like the Real Housewives of the World because these women are fighting with each other. There was a four-minute rant on my video unpacking how it is damaging and misogynistic. The water or just the things you were saying? The things I was saying. Oh, my God. You need to find that. Where is it? I'll find it. I'll get it.

Yeah. People keep tagging me in it. She makes no sense. This is a three and a half minute take. She's stitched my video. This is her, Reddy. I'll tell you when I get bored. Water talk.

And you're interested in potentially becoming pre-diabetic. Now, this is perfect for you. You know, when I was like 17 and 18, I was a camp counsellor. When? Typical American Northeastern. No, when did I ask, bitch? One thing that if you were not in the world of camp, you might not know, is that a lot of counsellors come from the UK.

I have to fast forward, right? Yeah. Ready, ready? I'm fast forwarding 40 seconds. I made a lot of great friends from forwarding 40 seconds. Skipping. Skipping. Next. Skipping.

She's right i just i'm trying to gently say that i think that the genre of like talking about american eating habits and how disgusting they are um i just think it's a bit tired and i also think the genre of taking something that, like, predominantly women seem to be enjoying themselves doing and talking about how it's stupid, I think that's a little tired too. And I got, you know... You want to hear about tired?

Me listening to this fucking 14-hour TikTok. How about you go ahead and fuck yourself? Is it just me? You should follow these idiots online. Search couple of Mitches. All right, now we've got a few messages to plough through that we got during our little Easter break here. We got a bunch of texts, bunch of DMs,

and I wanted to bring some to your attention, okay? Yes. So first and foremost, this is fascinating. You've got mail. I made that for us. Okay. Yeah. Sorry, I probably should have given you some warning.

Email bag. You've got mail. Is that from Jonesy? Yeah, it's from Jonesy. Okay, well, firstly, we got this text message. They didn't give a name and they said that they don't want to come on the podcast, but they're happy for us to read it out. Okay, so text.

That's right. Okay. I need you to stop with the sound effect. they're happy for us to read it out. Okay. So text. I need you to stop. Sorry. It's off to a good start. No. Okay. No more? No more. Okay.

Just listen to the words. Okay. You ready? Is it just me or do gay guys panic and ghost after a date instead of saying they are not interested? I've been on two dates this year and both have ghosted me, despite them passionately making out with me on the date. Wow. Look, it's been a long time since I've been on a date.

Yeah. But. What, nearly five years? Nearly, yeah, almost five years. But I can't really speak to this, Mitch. You've been on dates, you'd know. Oh, yeah. I mean, I can't say that people that have ghosted me have passionately made out with me on the date and then ghosted me.

If they passionately make out with me, then there's usually at least a second date. Maybe we date for a couple of months, whatever. But yeah, I don't like the ghosting after a date. It's fine to just be like, listen, not what I'm looking for right now. Not necessarily you. Just like not vibing. Enjoyed you, but let's not have another date. Like that's fine to say, isn't it?

I'm sure it's delicate and that's coming from me who can't even muster up the courage to call my fucking grandmother. But like if it's over text, come on. Also, I hate people go, I'm old school, but I prefer someone to let me down. It's like, that's not old school. That's just a bit of respect. Yeah. And also I'd much rather be told than be left in the lurch.

You know, tell me. Yeah. Don't hide things from me. What about this one? This text came from Meg. This is a bit of fun. Hi, Meg. Itcham Top 5, Straw Edition.

Oh, I love this. Oh, yeah. Should we do the whole thing? I just feel like you're itching to play a sound effect. So, yep, get it out of your system. Go. Itcham Top 5. The Top 5 Straws is what Meg has asked us to rank,

and the options she's given us are metal, flimsy plastic, hard plastic, bamboo, and paper. Oh, I'm going to have to write these down. Hold on. This is good. Wait there. All right. Metal.

Yep. Were you writing on an Uber Eats bag? Yeah, I'm writing on an Uber Eats chicken bag. Metal. There's no paper around. You're just writing on your bag. Metal. Metal. Flimsy paper around. You're just riding on your bag. Metal. Metal.

Flimsy plastic. Okay. Hard plastic. Bamboo and paper. So flimsy plastic could be like the Hungry Jack straws. No, the Hungry Jack straws are great. They're thick. Yeah.

I don't know what flimsy plastic means. Maybe like the really cheap coloured ones that have the bendy top that you get at the supermarket. Yeah. Why don't I jump in and give you my top five and you tell me if you agree or disagree. Okay. Number five, paper. Oh, yeah.

In the bin. Yeah. Don't like it. Absolutely. I'm with you. It fucking disintegrates in your mouth. No good. Yeah.

If I want to suck something, it's the reverse. I want it to go from soft to hard, not hard to soft. They've got it all the wrong way around. You wouldn't start sucking someone off while they're still soft. Yeah, I'd do that. Oh, okay. Don't you? It's fun to do it.

I mean, maybe a semi at least. But you don't just fucking go in for the growl when they're not even slightly ready. Yeah, it needs to have a bit of blood in there. You're right, you're right. A bit of fluffing. Yeah, you're right. It needs a bit of zhuzhing. Or you can karate chop a pillow.

Maybe you should do that to the middle of the dick. Sorry. How has that worked out for you? So farhuzhing. Yeah. Or you can karate chop a pillow. Maybe you should do that to the middle of the dick. Sorry. How has that worked out for you? So far, so good. Yeah. Number five is paper, yes. Number five, paper. Number four, bamboo.

Uh-huh. It's kind of on par with paper, but there's just something exotic about bamboo to me. Okay. Number three, flimsy plastic. Number two, hard plastic. And number one, metal. Wow. But not the cheap shit metal that leaves a metal taste in your mouth that affects

the drink yeah i need to invest in a good metal straw i've been thinking about it i love it when you sip a cold what about when they give you a milkshake with a metal straw and the fucking metal straw has condensation on it itself is cold fuck me up well i've got my ranking number five is paper we can all agree. Number four is hard plastic. Because the dolphins, the dolphins. I wasn't thinking about it from an environmental perspective. I was just going what I prefer. Oh, no.

I just don't want to be cancelled. The mums hate me. I don't want to offend the greenies. Three, flimsy plastic. Yeah. Well, that's the same as me. Yeah. Number two, metal.

What? Because I have metal straws. I have an iced coffee every morning and I've got metal straws and they kind of hit my teeth. That's what I was going to say. They're a bit like, oh, it makes me feel yuck. That just sounds like you're a fool. You can easily not hit it on your teeth. Yeah.

So does that mean number one for you is bamboo? I love bamboo straws. Really? Oh, they're the best straws in the world because they're saving the dolphins and they don't disintegrate. They don't melt. They're brilliant. What's the point in saving dolphins when some fat American's going to eat it anyway?

It's very true. Also, what about the panda bears? We're now taking their food. Oh, yeah. All they eat is bamboo. Yes. But aren't bamboo stores, like, woody and bleh? Some are like a sheen.

They've got a sheen on the outside, and they're a bit slippery. I quite like them. But they split. It's like using a wooden fork from the restaurant and you feel that wooden fork scrape against your bottom lip. Actually, don't. That is my, that's my 14th reason. Isn't that the show?

How many reasons did that show have? No, you're right. No, thanks. But no, bamboo straws, I get they're good for the environment, but I'm just like, nah, too woody. Yeah, I'm with you. Too woody. I agree.

That's what Buzz said in the sequel. Too woody. All right. Do we have any more correspondence? We got this DM from Blake. Hey, guys. Stop with the sound effect. It's the water talk.

I'm mental. It's the chemicals. Blake says, hi, guys. I heard you talking about fucked things Melbourne people say, and I wanted to tell you that in NZ we call drinking taps water fountain. Is this weird? Yes, it is. Taylor texted us and said, hey, guys, not sure if you're watching.

I'm a celeb. But can we please address how much of a selfish person Kerri-Ann is? Her sense of entitlement is off the charts and just shows that everything people say about her is so true. You mean everything we say about her? Wow. She is on the highest paid contract and treating the experience like a joke. Idjim, or can we just cancel her and bring her down

from the throne we seem to keep her on? Why is she still on this throne? It does seem to come around every so often that I'm reminded that people actually like her. Oh, my God, TV royalty Kerri-Ann. And I'm like, I thought we were all off her. Yeah. Oh, my God, TV royalty Kerri-Ann. And I'm like, I thought we were all off her. Maybe that was just us. We are off Kerri-Ann.

No, you went, you're a turncoat. You got that photo with Kerri-Ann. Was that ironic? I don't know. Well, for those who aren't across it, we've had a check at history with Kerri-Ann Kennelly on this podcast. We decided that she was our nemesis. She was not aware of this after she was quite rude to us.

Mitch and I were on live TV doing them a favour. They struggle for guests. And we were booked on Studio 10 and two massive stars in the podcasting and comedic space. And we sit down, we do this live interview, and we are questioned as to whether our, this is true, as to whether doing a podcast was a smart business idea. She was just not very encouraging.

She was sort of looking at us like, okay, like we were try hard and just like putting us down. So we decided, fuck Kerri-Ann, we didn't like her. And then I got a photo with her in public as a joke, like as an inside joke with our listeners. But then she ended up posting it on her Instagram, following me, tagging me and being like, so nice to see you. So I'm like, shit, I think we're friends now.

I'll let bygones be bygones. We've called a truce with Kerri-Ann. So I'm very reluctant to slag her off, but I can't say I didn't enjoy watching I'm a Celebrity be a horrible PR move for her. It was not good for her image at all. A lot more people have turned on her after that. I was in Hawaii and you know, it's big when it even made waves over there. I mean, I saw it and I was like, she's done it.

She's dug herself a final grave. So if you missed it, we have the audio. So this is Kerri-Anne in the jungle. So what happened was she went on I'm a Celebrity, obviously, and there was some other chick on there called Dominica. From Mavs. I went to school with her. Did you?

You went to school? Yeah. What's her last name again? Carla Coe. Were she friends and nice to you? We were close friends Get out Get fucked

Are you serious? Call her now Do you have her number? No Damn it Wow, would she remember you though? I don't know Well, you know those Facebook memories?

Yeah She used to post on my Facebook wall all the time Oh my god, it's so embarrassing She was a fame whore Even back then, she tried to get on our podcast You know, I got her a job at Amplify. Did you? Yeah.

What? Did she work with us? She worked with Rimmel. At our first job. Yeah, Rimmel makeup stuff. Oh, God. I have no memory of that now. Congrats.

Very cool. Thank you. Well, she's known now as Dominica from Married at First Sight, but she was in the jungle as well. And they were doing some challenge where it required all four people sitting around a table to eat a cow testicle or something. Yeah. And there was a payoff if all four did it.

They would get points or they'd get fed or something. But if even one of them didn't do it, then none of them got to eat. Yes. Something along those lines. And, of course, it was Kerri-Ann that was too good for it and was just like, no, I'm not eating that. And then Dominica had a go at it. So this is what happened.

I just don't want to leave here saying I didn't try. Yes, so that. And then Dominica had a go at it. So this is what happened. I just don't want to leave here saying I didn't try. So get in there. Take a bite. That's it. That's it. Bang. It's a meatball.

Kerri-Ann, we now have three celebrities making their way through the kudu ball. How are you feeling about making a start there? No, it's not going to happen. Come on, Kerri-Ann. It's not going to make any difference. What can I do? What can I offer you? You're not even trying to come back to camp. I tell you what, we're going to be like evict Kerri- Anne, please. It's not going to make any difference. What can I do? What can I offer you? Is there anything I can do? You're not even trying to come back to camp. I tell you what, we're going to be like evict Carrie Anne, legit.

Trust me, I'll evict myself. Don't you tell me what I need to do. Oh, Miss Big Contract Lady can't tell me what to do. Ooh. Wow, come and see me as well. I can leave you my makeup. No, I don't want it. I don't want your Revlon 1989 lipstick, doll.

Legit? Nah. Because I tell you what, it's not fair to everyone else there that actually tries. Why are you here, bro? Legit, actually, why are you here? I probably don't have to answer anything to you. Of course you don't, because your little contract states it. Really?

Yeah. Hey, feel good. Literally no respect or no decency for anyone else but yourself. I've never met anyone so self-centred in my life. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. And by the way, she was alluding to Kerri-Ann's contract

that she had special privileges in the jungle, like she was allowed to bring her make-up and no one else was. Yes. And then after that, I think Kerri-Ann went back into the camp without Dominica and then relayed it to all the other campmates that weren't there but completely spun it. Yeah, she gaslit them. To make herself look like more of a victim. She goes, I can't believe Dominica called then relayed it to all the other campmates that weren't there but completely spun it. Yeah, she gaslit them. To make herself look like more of a victim.

She goes, I can't believe Dominica called me a selfish bitch. It's like she actually didn't use those words. She started crying. She did. She said I was attacked. Yeah. And she's like, oh, but Dominica wouldn't have eaten it either, even though Dominica offered to eat it.

Yeah, she tried to put it back on her and goes, I would have eaten the testicle if Dominica had it. And I'm like, she tried to put it back on her and goes, I would have eaten the testicle if Dominica had it. And I'm like, she was willing to. She was cheering you on. Oh, fuck, there's been plenty of times, Mitch, where you and I have been in that situation and we've both just eaten the testicle. You know, it wasn't televised or anything.

But, I mean, Cack, like, we've got it. She's reached her expiry date, surely. She must have been bored to go into the jungle because they would have been asking her repeatedly for years and then she finally went, yeah, all right, I'll do it, and took the paycheck and then was only in there for a couple of days. Apparently it was 500 grand she was paid. There was a challenge before that one and she said no.

Yeah, no, that one we just listened to, that was not the first. She said no to a lot of challenges. It's like what's the point of rocking up and not taking part that's why people watch the show to watch celebrities in these unglamorous positions totally and that revlon lipstick was truly tragic but also um i've noticed that kerri-ann does like to do that you know how she went back into the camp and told her side of the story without dominica there to defend herself i've noticed she loves to get the last word in without giving the other person right of reply.

Oh, yeah. Like that whole Kerri-Ann versus Yumi signs thing on Studio 10. Kerri-Ann came on Kyle and Jackie O the next day and was like playing the victim, being like, I can't believe she called me a racist. I don't appreciate name calling, blah, blah, blah. And then she goes, anyway, I'm on set. Got to go. Hung up before Yumi could say anything.

Yeah. I've noticed that about her. She likes to get the last word. Well, blah, blah. And then she goes, anyway, I'm on set. Got to go. Hung up before Yumi could say anything. I've noticed that about her. She likes to get the last word. Well, it's classic old white woman. And then not let anyone else twist it or correct the truth. And you've got a photo with her framed in your house. I don't have it framed. Framed.

It is framed. But it's on my Instagram still. Oh, you need to get rid of that. No, I'm leaving it there. Yeah? It's for the history books. Yeah. That's a good call.

To me, I think everyone who sees that, if you get it, you get it. You know I was getting a photo with her as a piss take. Yeah, I know what you mean. It's for the history books, yeah. That's a good call. To me, I think everyone who sees that, if you get it, you get it. You know I was getting a photo with her as a piss take. Yeah, I know what you mean. It's like, yeah. Yeah. And so, yes, I did kind of rub my hands together in either way. Like, when I saw that Kerri-Ann was getting all this bad PR, I'm like, more and more people are seeing things the way we see things.

Totally true. But also, you know, I don't hate her or whatever. No. No, no. I think she's vile and I'll never talk to her again. I also did. She was mean to me on the interview we did on the telly. Yeah.

And I called her Kerry. And she went, ah, ah, ah, Kerry Ann to you. And didn't you say something about her dog? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you called it a Labrador. And she goes, ah, ah, ah, Gildan Retriever. Fuck off. And you said, sorry, Kerry.

Sorry, Kerry. Kerry. Oh, yeah. I was just confused because I was looking at one dog and I was trying to think of another. I will say this. Our secret guest that we're not allowed to tell you about yet, it was a very similar dynamic between you and her. Oh, I gave away the gender.

You and her and you and Kerry Ann. It was a similar dynamic, but I think it was more playful. Tongue in cheek. We walked away from it being like, oh, no, it's fine. But whereas Kerri-Ann was being genuinely cold. No, our guest has admiration for both of us. You could tell. And we were playing into the roles for that.

I can't wait for that to come out. But there was a little bit of Kerri-Ann style, ah, ah, ah, going on. Should we get out of here? Should we go? Yes, we should. Sorry, we'll keep teasing this secret guest until we're allowed to tell you, but we're still not. It's going to be so good.

I'm excited. Also, I will say we are featuring in their exciting project, and they will also be on our show also. Yes, correct. Yeah. Which is why we're not allowed to announce it yet. Yeah, we've got the first interview with them ahead of the launch of it all, which we've got to stop talking because I'm going to slip up.

Yeah, you fucking will. I will, I will. I just didn't slip up and said she. Yeah, good call. That narrows it down. With that wig. All right, let's move on and end the show. Enjoy your key ring.

Enjoy a little hula boy. I will. And I will enjoy the dialysis that I need to live on now after drinking seven packets of Starburst water. Yeah, you can finish my cup of Nirofen. I don't think I'm going to finish it. All right, well, guys, if you want to get in touch, is it just you of your own?

DM us at couple of mitches and we'll get you on the show next week. Or just anything on your mind as you listen, really. Yeah. There's a bunch more texts we didn't get through today, but we're running out of time. We're about to get kicked out of the fucking studio. Also, if you haven't written a review yet, it means the world for us. It boosts us. It really does help.

Yeah. And you just leave five stars on Spotify or Apple and write one. You know, it'd be nice. Yeah, it helps us somehow in the back-end algorithm bullshit. I don't really understand. Well, it helps us afford prizes for you flogs. That's so true. Yeah.

True. All right, we'll see you next week, guys. Thank you. Catch you then. Bye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to AD Debrief. This is our secret segment on the end. We pretend the show's done and then we keep talking shit aimlessly around here. That's what this whole bit is dedicated to. How do you feel in your mouth? Chemicals. Yeah.

Well, I'm always a bit parched because of my ADHD meds, so I can do with a bit of extra hydration. Yeah. All right, good. My mouth is a little dry too. I'm on anti-gout medication. What? What's gout?

Do you have gout? No, I don't have gout. Gout is like what you get when you're an alcoholic. Like you get gout in your leg. How did you get it? I don't have gout. My doctor thinks I've got pericarditis. What's that? Well, it's when the muscle around the heart is inflamed after COVID

because I had COVID at the end of January. And I've been having these awful pains in my chest. I've had full heart scans, everything in my heart's fine. But they did an ultrasound and they think the lining of the heart, like it lives in a sack, is inflamed. Oh, that's not ideal. No, that's not good. And they've worked out, coincidentally,

that this anti-gout medication is so high in anti-inflammatory properties that it calms down the heart sack. Yeah. So I'm on all these gout medications. So, yeah, my limp has gone as well. It's actually gone hand in hand. There's also certain foods you can eat that tame inflammation. I'll lend you the book I just read about you.

Thank you. What did you read? Oh, it's my nutritionist that I'm seeing. She gave me a copy of her book. What's it called? Oh, her book. Yeah. God, you've gone to a Pilates specialist.

I've been going to Pilates since January. That's not you. But you've got a nutritionist. Yeah. Interesting. Have you heard of Sarah DiLorenzo? She's the one that pops up on Sunrise all the time. On telly.

I've seen her. Yeah, she seems great. You're talking to her? Yeah, I went and saw her. I knew you were. I didn't know you'd the time. On telly. I've seen her. Yeah, she seems great. You're talking to her? Yeah, I went and saw her. I knew you were. I didn't know you'd had it. That's exciting. Yeah, no, I've done it and it's great.

She's actually incredible. I could dedicate a whole podcast. She's great. She knows her shit and she's also just fun. Have you changed your diet? Yes. No, we don't use the word diet, Mitchell. It's a meal plan.

Oh, okay. No, I'm fully for that. Yeah. Wait, what is but why are you doing it do you want to slim down oh no not necessarily slim down um you got nothing to slim well I said to her I'm not unhappy with my weight I'm more just getting a little bit uncomfy because my clothes started to get a bit tight again and I'd only just gotten a bigger size wardrobe after the last clothes got tight so I was like let's get that under control but

it's more about feeling better. Yeah, I get that. Actually, I feel now, walking away from a nutritionist, the way I expected to feel walking away from a therapist. Really? There's way less brain fog. Isn't that funny? More clarity.

Yeah. That's amazing. I'm in ketosis, that's why. Are you? Are you pricking your finger to test your blood to see what level of ketosis you're in? No, but fuck, you just reminded me. I was supposed to go to a blood test this morning. Fuck. Oh, no.

Have you been to a non-fasting blood test? That's what I have to do. That's what I forgot to do this morning. Why? What's the difference? Well, it gets a more clean scan of your blood if you've had no food, if you've fasted. So you need to fast for like 12 hours before it and they take your blood. But when you take your blood, you're already a bit woozy. And then without a meal, it's really fucked.

Because they take blood out and then your body's like, let me find some nutrients to make some more blood. Oh, wait, there's nothing in your tummy. I hate it. Yeah, no, I've got to do that tomorrow. I don't mind, though, because I've started, now that I'm in my walking area, I've started getting up and going for a walk in the morning and then eating breakfast after.

So I'll just get up and first thing, go get the blood test and then eat my breakfast later. Who are we? I'm getting up early now too. I've changed. Yeah. But your version of early, because you stay up so late, would be like nine? Yeah. No, my version of it is my alarm goes off at 8.45.

Oh my God. But for me, guys, I used to get up at 11, 11.30. That is so early. So did I. I'm a 7.40 guy now. Yeah. Oh, I'll get there, but not at the moment. My show so early. So did I. I'm a 7.40 guy now. Yeah. Oh, I'll get there. But not at the moment.

My show still gets off air at 10. I don't think you need to get there because if you're going to bed later than me, then yeah, you can sleep later. Yeah, I'm asleep by like- Sleep is key. That's what Sarah told me. Oh my God. Sleep.

You know, I've been to a sleep doctor recently. Sleep is like- my sleep doctor thinks that sleep will have the same importance as mental health and heart health and brain health. No, it has. But in the next five years, it'll boom. like my sleep doctor thinks that sleep will have the same importance as mental health and heart health and brain health but in the next five years it'll boom it'll be the next trigger word everyone will be talking about sleep health and I hope to be on top of my sleep health by the time

it's a trend I'm all over it Sam I track my sleep every night on my Apple Watch I can't be fucked with that I know how many REM hours I get how many times I farted, how many times I kicked my pillow out of the bed and my squish mellow went flying across the room. Do you know what I've noticed about this bloody meal plan, though?

I don't know what I was eating before that kept me up so late, but I was going to bed at like 1am and struggling to get to sleep because I was so awake. But now I'm actually just getting tired when people are supposed to get tired. It's like 9.30 and I'm like, how am I going to bed? What's going on? Who the fuck am I? You've got a circadian rhythm. I don't know what that is.

Isn't that those annoying bugs that are outside your window? Cicada? No, the ones that you wear when you're a kid, you used to wear their shell as a brooch. Ew. What? Because they're little shellwood. Cicada shells. Yeah, little cicada shells.

That was me. I used to wear it as a brooch. Brooch. Yeah, wouldn't you? No. And I'd pretend I was like, you know, a wife of a war veteran. They're just you.

Is it just me? Yeah. That's a shame. Alright, everyone. Fuck, I'm exhausted, guys. I'm really tired. I'm not. Of course you're not. He's in ketosis. And all I've got is halitosis. I'll actually lend you Sarah's book and just that one chapter about inflammation. It's not a hard read either.

Yeah, good, because I got up to the fact when Harry Potter was fucking Ginny or some shit and I gave up. I can't read. A lot of it's dot points. Did they ever find out? Like, here, eat this and avoid this. It's in dot points. It'll be fine.

I have a habit of reading books and then clocking out before the big reveal. Those Lemony Snicket kids, they end up happy, right? Nothing bad happens to them. I don't know. I don't even know what you're talking about. Oh, damn it. The girl in the window, I mean, she gets off that train fine, right? Did you hear that it turns out there was no giant peach?

James was actually just a tiny man. You're kidding. I never got that far in the book. Yeah. That is really interesting. I'll tell you what happens at the end of Twilight. What? You didn't read to the end of it.

I got halfway, no. Oh, well, what happens is she wakes up and it was all a dream. Oh, my God. You're kidding me. No, that's true. I know you very rarely. Yeah. Ever.

I can't think of any more books. That's how illiterate I am. I can't even continue the gag because I don't know any books. Have you read to the end of the Bible? No, I only read the parts about me, which funnily enough, there's a fuck a lot. I hate the facts. The weird thing is that there isn't even that much in the Bible

that is anti-gay, but they really fucking latch on to staunch Christians. The whole thing about the Bible confuses me. Do you know it was originally, what was it? Man must not lie with child because it was, this is the whole gay thing, because it was like pedophilia is wrong. Duh, we can all agree on that. Yeah. However, it was then changed to man must not lie with man.

Yes. It was originally boy. As he would a woman. As he would a woman. But it used to be like man should not lie with boy as he would with woman. But it was changed with man. Yes. It was originally boy. As he would a woman. As he would a woman. But it used to be like, man, should not lie with boy as he would with woman. But it was changed to man. So it was fucking edited. It got lost in translation.

Lost in translation. Can't say I've ever heard that. I didn't know that. Good film. Oh my God. I started watching The Whale on the flight back from Hawaii. Is that the one about the fat bloke? Yeah.

Oh. And then I actually realized I wasn't watching it and the screen went black and I was just watching my reflection for about half an hour. Oh, stop it. I was sobbing. No. I went, this is really sad and I can relate to a lot of it. And it was just a black mirror.

It's really quite sad. It is very sad. I had to stop watching. Sadie Sink was fantastic. Is it really sad? Yes. It's gut-wrenching. Oh.

I've heard it's like a- I don't know if I want to watch it then. I've heard it's like a play. Like't know if I want to watch it then. I've heard it's like a play. Like, is it just- It is a play. It was a stage play, and then they've adapted it to film. But Brandon Fraser, he's not gay nor fat, and he's playing a gay fat man. Oh, so he's gay in the film.

Yeah, I can barely put food on the table, and he's taking roles that my people could take. I mean, you did study to be an actor in New York. Yeah. I did. And you're in and out of LA. I didn't tell you guys that the pilot that I shot in Queensland's all done. Have I spoken about that on the show? Yeah, you did mention that randomly.

You were just flying to Queensland to shoot a TV pilot. To shoot an episode, yeah. And? I don't know. I just don't know how it's going to cut. I think I'm a terrible actor. Oh. I was like, oh. What makes you think that? I don't know. I just don't know how it's going to cut. I think I'm a terrible actor. Oh. I was like, oh.

What makes you think that? I don't know. I just don't know if I nailed it. It was weird. What was your role? I'm the best friend of this character whose boyfriend cheated on her and came back for my help. She lived in the country.

Are you straight? No, I'm a gay man. Okay. So it wasn't acting. So what you're saying is that you're a terrible person, not a terrible actor. No, no, I was acting, but there was moments where I'm like, I wasn't acting. So what you're saying is that you're a terrible person, not a terrible actress. No, no, it was acting, but there was moments where I'm like, I don't know.

I just want to see how it edits, how it cuts. Same in these early days of the podcast. I'm like, I'm so nervous. And I listen to every episode and then, you know, we've won Oscars. But now I'm thinking, will that be the same for acting? God, when people tell me they've gone back to episode one, I'm like, do you have to? Me too.

Of this podcast. Oh, my God. That group chat. I like to think we're better now. We are? Me too. Of this podcast. Oh my God, that group chat. I like to think we're better now. We are better now. We're more mature. We're aging like a fine wine. But neither of us will drink.

Exactly right. That group chat, I've had to tap out of. For all you listening who are in that group chat, I'm so happy that you're using it. They use it every day. There's an IJM group chat. If you're not a pilot, you can go to Enduring Idiots on Facebook. It's our Facebook group where we discuss everything that happens in the show. If you're not in Enduring Idiots, you're only getting half the story.

Yeah, that's true. That's a nice little tagline. That's nice. We've transitioned. Have you noticed? We're in a transitionatory period. You and I. In our friendship.

Oh, because we text instead of messaging. Mitch and I used to be messenger only. Strictly messenger. Yeah. And I knew Mitch would message because his profile picture was purple. He argues that it's pink. Well, it's pink now. No, it was.

He was so thrown when I changed my profile picture on Facebook. I know. I thought I was messaging a bot. I'm like, no pay ID. Fuck off. Do you know what's weird, though? I actually prefer messenger in many ways. So why do we promote people to be now on a texting basis?

Because especially the voice messages, they're shocking quality on iMessage, on Messenger. I could host this podcast on Messenger because the voice messages are that gorgeous. Good. You could do a state of the nation. We could just do voice messages back and forth and then like screen record it.

There's the podcast. Great. That would have been a great episode for COVID. I feel there's something more personal about texting someone. Because it's like, you've got my number. Yeah, true. Yeah, there is a lot of people that, how do I explain this? There's a lot of people who I don't have their number.

Whereas a few years ago, we would have gotten to that stage already. Yeah. Yeah, true. Like we're far enough along. Yeah, I'm with you. I'm so with you. I'm also at the point where people who have had their number for years, I'm like, is it the same number?

How the fuck would I know? Same. It's a good call. Yeah. You again with the good call thing. I've just conceded that it's my thing. No one really came through with my crutch or whatever you called it. No, someone sent a photo of Sean.

Well endowed. Wow. Goodness me. I found what put the hole in the ozone layer. I don't think he's going to be mad about these jokes at all, will he? He's not going to be mad. Sean, he doesn't hate me, does he? No, of course not.

Why? What does he say about me? Does he go like off the cloud? Does he go like when you're like at home and you've just had a cup of tea and what does he say? Because Mitch Jury has finished his sentence. God, Mitch Jury, he's. Well, he thinks you're brilliant and talented and've just had a cup of tea, what does he say? He goes, Mitch Durie is, finish this sentence. God, Mitch Durie, he's. Well, he thinks you're brilliant and talented and funny and blah, blah, blah.

But we don't actually talk about you that often. What? Well, what are we going to say? He'll talk about the podcast because he listens every week. Does he? Yeah. Oh. He told you that, remember?

I do. I don't actually know. I don't even know my Godson's name. When he was in here. Yes, I do remember that now, yes. He's such a sweetheart. Yeah, no, he's fond of you. He's so nice. I'd like to spend more time with him.

Oh, well, what's stopping you? We have invited you to many things. No, there hasn't been that many. Oh, well, because you're now in one of those let's not even invite him category because we know what the answer will be and our egos can only take so much. Can you add me back in? Send him the jokes about his big dick and then add me back in.

He'll hear them. He listens. Hi, Sean. Add me back into the inner circle. I know you love circles. You fuck the ozone layer hard enough. Add me back in, please. Did you see in the Facebook group, by the way, that Zachary said regarding the Carrie Ann situation,

Zachary said regarding the Kerri-Ann situation, he wanted to hear us talk about it and he's hoping to hear us rip into her like a present at Christmas. That's beautiful. I don't think we went that hard on her, did we? All I said was not a good look, Kak. Not a good look. I mean. Well, Mitch called her vile.

I called her vile and I also did call her a dog in a roundabout way. And also I have to, oh, hold on. The Powerhouse Museum are calling. What? Oh, they're trying to get Kerri-Ann because I need more dinosaurs in there. Oh, right. They know that I know her, so they're trying to get through to me. Hello.

Yeah, you'll get her soon enough. How's that? What's his name? Bailey. Zachary. Zachary. There was also an anonymous post in our group. I don't like that it's anonymous, that you can do anonymous shit now.

Yeah, somebody anonymously said that I was in a Char Time commercial. That's what I was about to read. Do we have evidence of this? Where's the Char Time commercial? What's it called? I heard it on the air as well. Let me find it. Is it in our system?

Of course it would be. I'll just search T-R-A-S-H. Trash. Oh, there's a hundred of these things. Yeah, God. When it comes to the perfect T. That's not me. The system's crashed.

I'm not even joking. Next gen just crashed. Here's one of the messages that came through on our text line that I didn't have time to get to this thing, but I may as well squeeze it in here before we go. Grant from the Gold Coast said, I knew that your Hey You intros gave me childhood flashbacks for a reason. Bear in the big blue house opening the door and saying, oh, hi, it's you.

Apparently we remind him of that. Oh, that's nice. Can you find that on YouTube? Is that a thing? Is that because I'm a bear? I don't remember that at all, though. I just remember the goodbye, goodbye, good friends, goodbye. But now it's time to go.

I remember he used to talk to the moon and I thought, this poor bear's in psychosis. He needs to be put down and euthanised. He's hallucinating. That moon is not talking to you. It's like Cocaine Bear, but this one's Shroom Bear. That was the worst movie I've ever seen. It was good because it was bad.

Cocaine Bear, get amongst it. Here we go. Ready? I found it. Oh, hi. It's you. I'm so glad to see you. And you're just in time. Oh, sorry. That's a stretch. Does that sound like the start of our episode? No, it doesn't. Oh, hi. It's you. I'm sure we're not the first people to say, hey, you, since the beer in the big blue house. We're certainly not ripping him off. At Char Time, tea can be as unique as you. Char Time has the best flavours and mix-ins. Reboot your taste buds with a choice of freshly brewed tea leaves

and quality ingredients made and shaken right in front of you. It's the best bubble tea. So you actually have voiced a Char Time ad? Oh, yeah. I thought you were saying, don't be ridiculous. How could that be me? No, I did do a few. Oh, for fuck's sake. So it was you at some stage? Yeah. I thought you were saying, don't be ridiculous. How could that be me? No, no, I did do a few. Oh, for fuck's sake.

So it was you at some stage? Yeah. Hold on. Found it here. I think this is it. This is where you had it last night. Oh, this is it. My favourite Char Time is pop it like it's peach.

Mine is brown sugar with oat milk. I love a simple lemon iced tea with no sugar. At Char Time, your freshly brewed tea can be as unique as you. Char Time is my favourite time of the day. Reboot your taste buds and remix bubble tea your way. In a skip bin. What's with the acoustics? Customise your flavour, ice and sweetness levels and add delicious mix-ins.

Strawberry popping pearls, lychee jelly, custard. You do you at char time. Is that Simeo? Yeah. Your co-host from the cat pod? How many of these are there? Play that again. That is definitely Jenna's voice.

There's a few of them. I can find them all. I'm going to have to go to the rotation. Remember this, 224915. Because I had to do a few random ones. 224915. I can play them all. I thought we were being kicked out of the studio like 10 minutes ago.

Yeah, we'll get there. Oh, my God. My favourite char time is pop it like it's peach. Have you ever had a pop it like it's peach dinner? I've never had it. What a liar. You bitch. My go-to char time is the OG premium pearl milk tea.

Large, of course. With full sugar, half ice and creamy mousse on top. I go hard. At char time, your freshly brewed tea can be as unique as you. Char Time is me time. Reboot your taste buds and remix bubble tea your way. Milky, fruity, frozen or hot. Customise your flavour, ice and sweetness levels and add delicious mix-ins.

Light sheep popping pearls, coconut jelly, filly mousse. You do you at Char Time. Wow. There's more. At Chartime, your bubble tea can be as unique as you. I seriously order something new every time. Cream, brown sugar, watermelon. I thought that they spoke to more than

one person and they were going to alternate them, but you're in all of them. You're obviously the star. They spoke to so many. So at our company, they have a voiceover group. Oh, my God. I'm not part of this voiceover group, but we just recorded the cat podcast. They must hate you, that voiceover group. They're like, we're in the fucking group.

She hasn't come to our meetings and she's on air more than us. Yeah. At Char Time, your bubble tea can be as unique as you. I seriously order something new every time. Cookies and cream, brown sugar, watermelon. Reboot your taste buds. That's a new idea. I haven't heard that one.

Best range of bubble teas. Milky, fruity, frozen or hot. You do you. Have you ever had a char time in your life, Jenna? The first time was two weeks ago at... Sorry, this is it. My go-to char time is the OG. Premium pearl milk tea.

Large, of course. With full sugar, half ice and creamy mousse on top. I go hard. At char time, your freshly brewed tea can be as unique as you. Char time is me time. I thought you said that the fucking pearl peach one or whatever was your favourite. Now you're saying it's the OG with cream and shit. Customise your flavour, ice and flavor levels and add delicious mix in.

Stop it, please. How am I supposed to take any word you say seriously. Chart time is my time. What a two-faced mutt. Half cream as well. Don't forget the ice. Extra. I go hard.

Let's go. The least convincing delivery of that sentence ever. Let's get out of here on that note, everyone. We will see you all next week. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 3% better today. That's all. So we do. Yeah.

We just gave chart time a lot of advertising space. If there aren't fucking chart times on my desk waiting for me next week, I'll be very cross. Yes. All right. We'll see you in a week, guys. We love you. See you.

Thanks for listening. Good to be back. Love you, bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.