Is It Just Me? - #146: Pig Week 3.0

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

It’s our third annual PIG WEEK! Grab a fatty snack, kick back and enjoy with us. Oink oink bitch xx    In this episode: Our Pig Week treats (01:57) Churi’s perky traffic reporter (13:59) People who ’try not to laugh’ at a COMEDY SHOW?! (18:17) Rude sluts who don’t say “Have a good day” back (23:07) The TOP 5 Potato Chips (30:13) Coombs’ dog-walking era (46:08) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (1:00:16)   Hit us up: @coupleofmitches Send us a text: 0422 948 202See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you. Hello you. Go! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. I'd rather be dead than be called Gunkle. Oh, that nickname for gay uncle.

Just because I'm gay doesn't mean you need to change the word. Imagine if they were like, God, he's put on weight. Funkle's here, you fat uncle. Now here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, you. Hello, you. Hello, piggies. Hello, little pigs.

You know what time it is. The third, I believe, the third annual pig week. The third annual pig week is here. If you've not yet joined us for a pig week, essentially we give ourselves and you permission to pig out on whatever fucking treat you like. Yeah. And there's no guilt allowed this week because it's pig week. To be fair, there's never much guilt.

I mean, I'm very overweight and I've never felt an ounce of guilt, so I'm definitely not going to feel it on my week of weeks. I know, but you've been really healthy and boring recently too. Like, oh, I can't have coffee after 11. I know. Shit like that. I know. And so this is like just a whatever week. So anyone listening right now, I hope but you've been really healthy and boring recently too. Like, oh, I can't have coffee after 11. I know. Shit like that. I know. And so this is like just a whatever week.

So anyone listening right now, I hope that you've, before listening, you've gone and treated yourself, headed out and bought that fucking thing you've been craving for ages. Just do it. Buy it. Last year's Pig Week was sponsored out the wazoo. We had to pretend we all loved that Daryl Lee chocolate. Then we actually ended up loving- Hey, did you not like it?

No, we ended up loving the Daryl Lee chocolate. Oh yeah, no. I'm fucking still obsessed with that stuff. Well, it's not sponsored this week. This week, it's just pure, unadulterated fat food that we love. Oh, I am being sponsored, but that's all right. Oh, are you? I bought all of today's snacks thanks to Coles Express.

I'll have you know. Did you actually? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know. Everything you do is sponsored. No, not everything. Oh, it is. Nah.

Name one thing you do that isn't sponsored. Um, oh, I can't think off the top of my head. Not everything I do. I went to Mitchell's house, Jenna. He lives in a 7-Eleven. Are you going to introduce me first? Oh, Pricekeeper Jenna's here, of course. Hi, Pricekeeper.

As per usual, I can see Jenna's got a stack of fucking food over there. She's ready for pig week. I'm ready for pig week. What do you have? Show us. What did you bring? I got cookies, some more biscuits, and some chocolate. Hold them up.

What kinds? So Cadbury cookies with a chalk centre. Oh, they're fucking dope. You can microwave those. Okay. And then also these Obsession milk chocolates. I've wanted to try them for a while. Are they from Audi?

No, they're actually Arnott's. Oh, they are Arnott's? Yeah, Arnott's. I've never seen those in my life. Neither. They look gorgeous, my dear. They look really good. Yum!

And then also I got the new Cadbury Slices. You're out of breath. Are you okay? She's having a diabetic attack. Cadbury sent me these for us to try. So Jenna sponsored too. Jenna sponsored as well. Great.

They're Cadbury's new Slices. Show me. Here. Slices? I haven't even heard of these. Ginny, you're struggling to hold things. Sorry. I'm just that excited.

Where are your insulin levels at? It's a little bit Marvelous Creations-esque. I bet. There's Crackle, Hedgehog, and Mint Cream. Hedgehog? She's got a fucking box over there. And the chocolates are in one, too. Dairy, Milk, Slices, Crackle, Old Gold.

Yeah, she's right. Oh, I want. I'm going to open one. Please do. We're allowed one bite. We can't eat into the microphone. Oh, yeah, no. You don't have to ask permission.

I think everyone assumes. It's pig meat. Some people hate people eating on podcasts, but this is not the week for you, darling. It's going to be happening. I've brought everything to my side. Yeah. I've got the cookies. I've got the bug and hedgehog.

Oh, I brought a sausage roll for everyone. Oh, so you're sponsored too. That was from the station major sponsor. The team at Galo's. Yeah, so you're sponsored too. I have eaten half of it though. That's fine. I don't want a pie out of your sausage roll.

Do you want to see what I brought? Yeah, go. Yay. So I've been hearing a lot of hype recently about KFC bringing back the mashies. Oh, yeah. And I was like, I don't know what the fuck a mashie is. I didn't know what they, I've never had one. I didn't know that they were ever a thing that people wanted to bring back.

And so I thought, well, they might be limited time only, so we better get amongst it while we can. Oh, that is wonderful. I think they're a little ball of mashed potato. Yeah. And it came with a gravy to dip it into. Oh, we all have to try a mashie. Yeah, I'll be trying first.

Jenna, have one of those cookies. They're fantastic. I'll have one. KFC mashies were big. I think they've been gone for 10 years. Really? Yeah. 10 years of hiatus and now they're back. And people have gone crazy for these things.

Yeah, I didn't even know that they were missing. I have no memory of them. So this is my first ever mashie. Is it just deep fried mashed potato? I think so. It's like a popcorn chicken but instead of chicken it's fucking potato. Go. Alright, here we go. Happy Pig Week, Australia. Happy Pig Week, girlies. That's a wet ball. Here we go.

Well, not we go. Happy Pig Week, Australia. Happy Pig Week, girlies. That's a wet ball. Here we go. Well, not much crunch. That's a soppy ball. What's the verdict? This cookie's good. It's definitely a soggy ball, but it fucking slaps, actually. Really? It's like, you know how you can get KC potato and gravy? Here's the gravy, that's the potato.

Let me try. Here you go. Hock it over here. Here you go. Oh, it is warm. Do you remember how the first pig week came about? Yeah. It's because I was about to go and see a new personal trainer and he told me that he was going to be monitoring my MyFitnessPal account so we could track what I was eating. And I was like, oh, we'll have to pig out as much as I can before he starts tracking my eating. How fucking toxic in hindsight. I would never agree to that now.

Someone tracking what I eat. Oh my God, I remember that. And then did we bring, we brought heaps of shit, right? We had a barbecue chicken one year. Yeah. The first pig week, I remember feeling quite ill. These mashies are fucking brilliant. Yeah, they're gorgeous actually.

I understand the hype now. Oh, your face has gone a bit sour. What's the problem? Stuck in my windpipe. It's a bit clag glue-like, you know? Well, that's not very fucking complimentary of it. I've just had, this is my third, so. I only got a 12-pack, so settle down.

Thank you. Now, coming up today, because it's pig week, we're going to be doing another top five. Last year, I believe it was the top five chocolates. Yes. And Daryl Lee won. Because it deserved to win, not because it was sponsored. No, and that's true.

I can say it was our sponsor and I was sceptical, but it was so good. But this year we're doing the top five potato chips. For the international listeners, we're not talking about fries, are we? No, no, no, no. We're talking potato chips. Hard, crunchy chips. What do they call it? Crisps.

Thins? Crisps. Yeah. I think Americans would call it a bag of crisps. No, they call them something else. Aren't they just chips? Yeah, they call them chips. And they've got french fries.

Yes, you're right. Yeah, okay. Well, you know what we're talking about. A bag of bloody chips. That's what we're going to be rating the top five. Chips that sound like this. Yeah. That is what a bag of chippies sounds like.

So I'm going to be nominating my favourite two. You're going to be nominating your favourite two. Jenna, you're going to have to round us out with the fifth one. Yep, correct. And we've got Idiot Callum here today. We do. Eavesdropping on the show. Maybe he should do the ranking I feel. Idiot Callum's out there in the phone room. Hi, Idiot Callum.

Hello, you. Happy Pig Week, darling. Happy Pig Week. What a great week for you to fucking be here. Are you making a comment on my week? Mitchell, that's disgusting. No, as in we never cater for our guests ever. I've seen some podcasts have catering. They've got a whole fucking plate of sandwiches for their guests.

We don't do that. That's actually really true. Whenever I've guested on someone else's show, I get $20 catering. Yes, they treat you like royalty. Oh, mate, we're terrible hosts. Not today, though, Callum. No, no, I'm feeling very welcomed, especially by the words Mike on Fucktard written on the microphone here.

Is that what's on there? Yeah, there's a warning out there. It says Mike on Fucktard in case people accidentally talk while they that what's on there? Yeah, there's a warning out there. It says Mike on fucktard in case people accidentally talk while they're on air. Oh, because he's a live broadcast studio for Kiss. I think that was something, an internal gag. You've just told everyone. That's fine.

Yeah. It's fine. It's fine. Do you want a bite of this sausage roll? Do you want any of this, Callum? I actually brought my own stuff for pig week. Oh. Oh, God, you're good. More pig week.

Come in. Come in. Come in. Come in the studio. Bring him in. Be warned, though. Be warned? What is it? Oh, God, you're good. More pig week. Come in. Come in. Come in. Come in the studio. Bring him in. Be warned, though. Be warned? What is it?

Oh, my God. Have I got time for a mashie in the time it takes him to get in here? These cookies are really yummy. He's very tall, isn't he, Calvin? He's very handsome. He's so much taller than I expected. It's the first time I've seen someone taller than you, to be honest. He's taller than me.

Calvin, how tall are you? Yay. I'm 6'3". Wow. 6'3". And what are you? I tell people I'm 6'3". You're going to chuck his mic on.

Yeah, it's on. Oh, you've got an Enviro bag. Oh, Enviro bag. It's a Cancer Council bag, courtesy of Idiot Jenny. Lovely. She met me when I landed. Shout out. Quickly, we should introduce Callum.

Callum, you're the head of the Idiots. You're the moderator of our Facebook group. Yes. And you just happened to be in Sydney and said, can I come fucking eavesdrop on the show and just have a sticky big? What do you think so far? It's not as glamorous as you might expect. It's nice.

Oh, fuck you. I thought it was so forced. Sitting out there, it's a bit like I'm at, I don't know, Taronga Zoo. Yeah. Just kind of looking at an enclosure of, I don't know. Beasts. You can say it.

It's okay. It's during feeding hour. Yeah. Evidently. Now, what do you have in your bag? Okay. I have a few things because, you know, it's peak week. You can't just bring one thing.

Yeah. Yeah. I did. Okay. Classic. a few things because, you know, it's peak week. You can't just bring one thing. Yeah, I did, but... Okay. Classic, a bag of Alan's party mix. Yeah, well done. Yeah, give them to Mitchell. He loves Alan's. Shotting the milk bottles. Oh, same, same.

I've also got, because you were talking about it a couple weeks ago, a couple of Yogo flips. Oh, he's good! Give me one of them. Flip me one of them. Do you want chocolate chip or M&M? M&M. Throw it. Thank you. Oh, my God.

It's at room temperature, but I'll look past that. It was a long way to go. I can imagine. It's in date. That's good. I also have a gift from Jenny, who I met this morning. Oh, God, she's gorgeous. She got us all push pops because we mentioned cylindrical treats a couple weeks ago.

Fuck me. What a throwback. I haven't had a push pop for ages. Me too. Sean was telling me on weeks ago. Fuck me, what a throwback. I haven't had a push pop for ages. Me too. Sean was telling me on the weekend. Sorry. Oh, don't start. No, I won't go into that.

We have five flavours here, so you guys can fight amongst yourselves. We've got strawberry, berry blast, grape, cool cola, not just regular cola, or blue raspberry. Wow. Shot of the raspberry. Shot of the raspberry. Strawberry, strawberry. Wow, I'm going to vomit, I think. Thank you. I'm going to have yogurt. not just regular cola or blue raspberry so wow shot of the raspberry shot of the raspberry strawberry strawberry

wow I'm going to vomit I think I'm going to have yogurt and is this yogurt or is it like just chocolate yes it's yogurt yeah it's yogurt

I thought it was like chocolate pudding the fact that it's like yogurt really we were talking about our fond memories of yogurt flips in depth and you thought it was

a fucking pudding the whole time no like a chocolate mousse I didn't think it was actually like from a cow. No, it's chocolate yogurt. Oh, I'm off it now. I think there might have been something similar. A chocolate mousse flip situation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope you got the receipt, Cal. I'm long story short. Great to have you here. They're lovely gifts. Yeah, there is one more. It is a bit fucked though because at the time of recording, Tina Turner did pass away this morning. Tina did, yes.

Yes, of course. Did you see the musical last week, Jenna? Yes. Is that really eerie that you saw the Tina Turner musical and now she's dead? So eerie, so eerie. You were the last to see her perform. She's not in the musical.

She's not in the musical. Tina Turner's not fucking hanging out at Theatre Royale on Pitt Street. That makes sense now. Because everyone was there and I thought, fuck. God, I'd love to be at tonight's performance. I know. It must be so emosh for them.

Anyway, sorry. What's fucked? You've got something fucked for us? Is Tina in there? Well, yes. I bought some Tina wafers. Oh! How clever.

That's very smart. Very well thought out. Chocolate, strawberry, vanilla. So there's many options here. Go for gold. Oh, wow. That's beautiful, Callum. You's many options here. Go for gold. Oh, wow. That's beautiful, Callum. You better take a couple of things for yourself as well throughout the show.

Yes. But you're going to be coming in later. I'll have a cookie. Thank you. We're going to drag you in here to help us rate the top five chips. Oh. I will also say, we love having guests on the show. You have to eat into the microphone.

It's pig wick. So please chew as loudly as you possibly can. We wouldn't want to have you here just to be our guest. We also have a task for you. Oh, shit. Okay. As the head of the Idiots, we would love you today, sort of put you through your paces.

You've produced on this show before. You put together the best bits while Mitch and I were in a lush, very expensive holiday. And you've sort of dipped your toe in the radio world. You've got your own community show now. So, you know, consider this work experience, I guess. Correct. Or charity.

As you know. Bitch, please. As you know, you've already bought the Cancer Council bag. Please, all right? You can't wrench in two charities in one show. I thought this was your make a wish. Dreams come true. Is that why you're flushed in the face?

I understand. Yes, yes. The IV was a dead giveaway. Fuck. We would like you, in the time that you have until we get there on the show today, to organise an Is It Just You caller. Oh. I thought it was going to be hard.

Fantastic. Yay. Get three. No, we just need one. That's fortunate. We just need one. Well, in the time I have, you guys waffle on, so. We really do.

Yeah. He's got a point. You're not wrong there. It's not much of a challenge. All right. No, challenge accepted. Get someone that has an is it just you, something they've noticed they hate or appreciate. I will tell you, the idiots tend to waffle on.

I'm the one who gets them every week, and I get messages going, hi, Mitch, is it just me, or is today Wednesday? You go, shut the fuck up. Is that why you've delegated to Idiot Callum? Because you couldn't be fucked finding a caller this week? It's Pig Week. It's my week of weeks. Okay, this is like my Ramadan.

This is like your Lent. Yeah, this is. So please get an is it just you caller. You've probably got a good 20 minutes to do it. Yeah, I can do that. Or less because sometimes our is it just Me's, the ones that we do, they can be short and sharp or they can waffle on. So, yeah, it's a bit of a gamble.

Make sure it's someone who hasn't been on the show before, though. Yeah, I can't become one who hasn't been on the show before. Do you accept the challenge? Challenge accepted. All right. Good luck. Sounds good. All right, you can head back outside.

Yeah, get back to work, bitch. I'll take a big cookie. No worries. All right, see you. Are you all right? I'm choking on the zoo now. Yeah, get back to work, bitch. I'll take a big cookie. No worries. All right, see you. You all right? I'm choking on the sausage roll. Thanks, Callum. Thanks, Callum.

Oh, he's got donut socks on too. Anyway, should we get into it? Yeah, listen, if it's your first time listening, what a stupid episode to start on. Happy Pig Week. Happy Pig Week. Every week we start the show the same way. Something we've noticed, Something we hate or appreciate.

Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's. This week for me, it's something that I hate and appreciate. I appreciate it because it's hilarious. But I hate it because it has to do with my job and my career and my night radio show. Right, okay. That's it. That's what I've got this week.

Well, do you want to go first then? Yeah, shall I jump in? Yeah, go for it. You guys can eat while I do mine, which is good. That's what I've got this week. Well, do you want to go first then? Yeah, shall I jump in? Yeah, go for it. All right, you guys can eat while I do mine, which is good. That's the best part about Pig Week, while someone else is talking. Is this going to be a monologue? You know, we're not talking back? Oh, sorry.

Wrong music. Calm down. All right, kick things off, go. Is it just me, or? Is it just me or... Has the curse that Mitchell predicted officially come true on my radio show? Get fucked. I think it has. Are you serious?

I think it has. Because I was saying last week that at the same time, on the exact same day, a bunch of news outlets had a blooper occur at midday, which, by the way, I had someone who listens to this show write in. They work at 3OW in Melbourne and they also had a fuck-up at midday on Tuesday. Should we go back and listen? 3AW? Well, apparently it was a fuck-up that on air was smooth and seamless, but on their

end, all the computers went to black, and so he was just aimlessly clicking, going, I hope to fuck I'm firing off the right things. Oh, my God. Like, imagine you just going in blind and having a blindfold trying to hit the right sound effects. That would be shocking. Oh. That would be terrible.

So yeah, the curse is alive and real. Here's the thing. I didn't fuck up because I'm a consummate professional. However, we have a new team member on the night show team, the radio show we do at nights for Kiss. Yeah. She's a new traffic presenter. Yeah.

Traffic is in between songs and ads on the radio. We have to go to traffic because people are in their cars. They're driving. We've a new traffic presenter. Yeah. Traffic is in between songs and ads on the radio. We have to go to traffic because people are in their cars, they're driving. We've talked about traffic on the radio before. Do you think that Jenna and I have just been born or something? I'm not talking to you. I'm addressing the people listening in case they don't know. Yeah, but I think most people know what traffic is.

Okay. We have a new traffic reporter on my show. Yeah. And for my liking, she's far too fucking chirpy for her own good. Oh, do you reckon she should be a bit more like doom and gloom? Oh, it's a fucking nightmare on our road. Imagine me as a traffic reporter. Oh, that's what I'd want.

I'd be like, stay home. Yeah, not worth it. Now past your roads. Fuck. She's far too happy to be reporting on horrendous accidents that have happened on the road. Oh, yeah, that's a bit fucking tricky. You've got to read the room. She gets pleasure from reporting on the traffic incidents.

So this is during my show. I flew to an ad break, and this is the live traffic report that went to air last night on Kiss. And listen to this. In Kellyville, look out for a multi-vehicle crash on Old Spencer Road at Samantha Riley Drive, closing one northbound lane. In Seaforth, we have a car breakdown on Manly Road

at Ethel Street, causing heavy traffic eastbound. In Parramatta, there's been a truck breakdown No way. Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Clarendon Homes is celebrating 45 years of building. And right now you'll get a $45,000 cash discount on your new home with their bigger living promotion. Clarendon.com.au. Babe, pep up. Pep up? She couldn't pep up if she tried.

No, you're right, actually. She needs to pep down. It's too much. Imagine if she was Sandra Sully and she's like, good evening, we've had a triple homicide today on our streets. Exactly. That's horrendous. 14 car pile up, 12 dead outside a school in South Melbourne.

Right now Hungry Jack's two for one meal. See that bit at the end, the little ad, the credit line, you're allowed to be perky for that, but the rest of the traffic report, I feel that you have to have an air of sorry about that to your voice. Like, well, there's a two-car pileup. As if like, oh, that's not good. But she's like, a two-car pileup? Race in now.

Yeah, she's almost advertising them, don't you think? Yeah. 14 dead, get in while you can. No, but also saying where. We're currently blah, blah. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Vic LaRusso doesn't do that.

Wait, that's a good pickup. She's caused these accidents. Yeah, it sounds like. Vic LaRusso doesn't do that. Wait. That's a good pick up. She's caused these accidents. Yeah, it sounds like she's a hit man detailing what she's working on. We're currently got a fucking two-car pileup. Yeah, yeah. Yep. That was me. I've caused a 19-car tractor incident.

Are you my way? Oh, it's just laughable. I'm sure she's a lovely woman. She's very new as well. Are you going to give her the feedback? Oh, I think that would hurt her feelings. I don't think I could. Oh, well, you've just besmirched her name publicly

on our multi-million dollar grossing award-winning podcast. She's doing a brilliant job. Just pull back a bit. Yeah, read the room, Bob. People aren't happy. People in that traffic are cursing your name. Totally. It's too positive.

It's far too positive. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, that's something that I noticed. I've kind of got a very similar, is it just me, this week, but it's the opposite where people aren't positive enough. Oh, really? Mm-hmm.

Okay. You want to jump in? Yep, I'm ready. All right, let's go. Is it just me or? Is the whole point of going to a comedy show to fucking laugh? Yeah. Yeah, no shit.

Is that not the point? Yes. That's the whole reason why. Are you going to get mad at us? We laughed at your shows. No, I believe that you guys. There was a couple of times I did hear your barotinous laugh over the crowd, Mitchell.

It was there, yeah. Only a couple. But there was a few people that said to me after my comedy shows, which I did in Sydney last week, they were like, oh, my God, that was so great. I had to try and stop myself from laughing too loud. I was like, why would you do that to me? Yeah, that's stupid. Why the fuck would you try and stop yourself from laughing?

That's actually what I'm aiming to achieve here. That's like a paramedic getting home from a hard day at work and going, God, I almost had to stop a heart attack. Like, yes, you did. I hope you did. It's like going to a brothel for work and going, God, I almost had to stop a heart attack. Like, yes, you did. I hope you did. It's like going to a brothel for a fucking chat, you know. No, you're there for a fuck and you're at a comedy show for a laugh. Yeah.

One of my neighbours from Bougainvillea, she goes, I had to stop myself from laughing. I was like, what? You've come all this way, a six-hour drive, and you're not going to laugh at me? Even bloody All Right Hey came to my opening night and he was like, oh, my God, I was trying so hard not to laugh too loud, which, by the way, he needs to try a bit harder

because he was laughing so fucking loud. There was one point where I had to acknowledge it because I could hear him laugh over everyone. I was recording that night. Do you want to hear that? Yeah, let's hear All Right Hey. You'll be able to notice All Right Hey's laugh above everyone else's. Ready?

Okay. Yeah. Ready? Okay. I recognise the right haze, Mark. Sounds like a tickle me Elmo. But that's the sort of people I want in the crowd because it's a little bit like sometimes if it's a bit of a dud night, I feel all it takes is one loud laugh that gives everyone else permission to laugh.

It's like a Mexican wave. One person starts it and eventually everyone cottons on. Yeah, you're right. I love having- Because you want to be the loud one. Yeah, I just love having a loud, obnoxious laugh. Because sometimes, if what I said wasn't that funny, people are laughing at the laugh. Yeah, that's very true.

There were people laughing like crazy. I mean, we had your show last Friday night at the time of recording, Sydney. Met some lovely idiots. That was very nice. Yes, so nice. But you, the shows were, no one had to force the laugh. It was very, very good, Mitchell, by the way. Oh, thank you very much.

Yes, very good. I'm glad you think so. I was chatting to people after the show, some people coming up to me, and I could see you just standing there, Mitchell, minding your own fucking business. Yeah. And people would say to me, oh, my God, I love the podcast. And I'm like, oh, thank you so much, darling.

Turi's here, by the way. You better go say hi. And then eventually I see you getting swarmed. Yeah, there was a love the podcast. And I'm like, oh, thank you so much, darling. Cheery's here, by the way. You better go say hi. And then eventually I see you getting swarmed. Yeah, there was a line at one point. I felt bad. And then I did the same to you. You know, Jen is here. And they all said, yeah, now we know.

No, they came over to me then. Did they? I handed them over to you. Yes. What about that chick? Speaking of which, some people also say to me, oh, I felt bad because at your show I was laughing too loud. I had to stop myself because I've got such an embarrassing laugh. me, oh, I felt bad because at your show I was laughing too loud. I had to stop myself because I've got such an embarrassing laugh.

No, no, no. I want people with unique laughs there because they're music to my ears. What about that chick we ran into? Oh, my God. After the show and she had the fucking most iconic laugh ever. Well, yeah, the show was near the flight path. So I at one point thought that her A380 was crashing. But it was just this girl coughing her lungs up because her laugh was so horrific.

Didn't you record a voice memo on your phone? I said to her, you need to stop and cough into this microphone and laugh. It was kind of like half a laugh, half a cough. Yeah. Like an emphysema laugh. I felt sorry for her. She needs to be checked out. No, but I heard her laugh and then I laughed at her laugh.

See, I love people like that. Okay, so I can't remember her name, but we love you. This was her laugh. Cough laugh. Okay, please cough into the phone. Does anyone have a hand sanitizer? I'm not sick. I think you are.

I don't know if you can hear me in the background there, but I was fucking like losing my shit, falling over laughing because that is such a satisfying laugh. Totally. Love you, Mitch. Funnier than the show. That was absolutely brilliant. I fucking agree.

I'll hand it to her. I enjoyed that more than performing the show. Can I hear it again? It's such a great laugh. It actually makes my headphones rumble. Okay, please cop into the show. Can I hear it again? It's such a great laugh. It actually makes my headphones rumble. Okay, please cop into the phone. Does anyone have a hand sanitiser? I'm not sick!

I think you are. She's a demon! I'm so glad that I couldn't hear her laugh during the show because that would have thrown me off the whole time. Oh, God, yeah. Fuck, she's since passed away, though. We're happy to report that she's died. She's no longer around. Vale, obviously.

Vale, of course. Cough girl. We're very proud of your show, though, Mitch. Thank you. Well done. Is it just me? That's enough of these two. Now let's hear, and is it just you?

All right, Idiot Callum, put you to task. So far we haven't stopped down. Show's been live. Where are you at? I think I have, I think I have someone, yeah. Great. Okay. So see that computer in front of you? Yeah. Down the bottom in the chat box, type in the name and number, and we'll take it from here. Okay, okay. Stand by.

Listen, and is it just you is something that you've noticed you hate or appreciate. Mitch and I have done our regims, so now we're handing it over to you. Idiot Callum has found one. He's very good. And if you want to get on, you get a prize as well if you make it on air. You just got to hit us up at couple of Mitch's on Instagram, or you can send us a text text 0412 712 092.

We've made it very, very easy for Callum because he's the head of the idiots. Yeah, that's so true. It's like telling the head of the PNC at a primary school. He sent it through. We're calling Alex. Okay, here we go. Do we know what suburb Alex is from, idiot Callum?

Ballarat. Ballarat. Gorgeous. Ballarat, huh? Hold on. This is a cold call. Normally we have it prepared. Have you preppedum? Ballarat. Ballarat. Gorgeous. Ballarat, huh? Hold on, this is a cold call. Normally we have it prepared. Have you prepped, Alex? Barely. Is she off Bluetooth and speakerphone?

Let's just assume they know and see if they go. Should I play the sound effects right away? Yes. Oh, there's a lot of rings, Callum. Bloody total you're calling. Is Callum going to be furiously texting out there being like, I's a lot of rings, Callum. Bloody Tata, you're calling. Is Callum going to be furiously texting out there being like, I need a backup? Shut up.

Hello? Hello? Is it just me or? Does it really fuck you off when you say to someone, have a nice day, and they say thanks instead of you too? Oh, what a selfish bitch. Yeah, you bitch. Hi, Alex.

Every time I go to the bloody pharmacy, I say, have a lovely day, Paula, and she goes, thanks, Alex. Oh, you're saying it to the person serving you. Yes. Oh. That's unacceptable. I say it to everyone or I'm on the phone at work and I say, oh, thanks, doll. Have a lovely day. And they go, thanks,

Alex. Wait, what's your problem? They're not reciprocating it back. Just a you too would be fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All you have to do is say you too. Or they may be too traumatised about maybe a time they went to Macca's and got a quarter pound a meal and they said, enjoy your meal. And they said you too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I always

say drive safe to Uber drivers or taxis. I go, thank you. Drive safe. And they go, you too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I always say drive safe to Uber drivers or taxis. I go, thank you, drive safe. And they go, you too. I go, I'm walking. Yeah, but Sean noticed that the other night. He's the queen of fucking manners, so he started incorporating that into his repertoire. What do you mean? Drive safe.

He fucking thought that was so charming when you said that to Uber driver. Is that what he said? Yeah. He said it after the fact. He's like, I'm adding that to my Rolodex of fucking niceties. Oh, isn't that nice? Did I get a report card from Sean? Yeah. What are the other notes? It's nothing aboutx of fucking niceties. Oh, isn't that nice? Did I get a report card from Sean? Yeah.

What are the other notes? It's nothing about you. Sorry, Alex. Oh, okay. Sorry. Yeah, Alex, maybe you need to be more convincing. Let's do a little role play. Pretend we're at the chemist and we'll see how you say it because it might be you.

Jenna is your pharmacist. Jenna's the pharmacist. You've just prescribed her Ozempic. Okay. Oh, Ozempic. Hi, Jenna. Hi. I've got your Ozempic. Hi, Jenna. Hi.

I've got your Ozempic. Oh, thanks, Jenna. Really need that for the hemorrhoids. Hey, how was your day? Good. Oh, that's good. Thank you. Been a busy one for you?

I'm very busy. So awkward. Oh, that's a shame. You'll be excited when you get off work, eh? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, you have a shame. You'll be excited when you get off work, eh? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, you have a good day.

You too. Oh, thanks. No problem. Right. So on a scale of one to Jenna, how rude are the pharmacists you're actually dealing with? Well, on a scale of one to Jenna, I'd say she's never going to be a professional actor. That was the worst acting I've ever experienced, Jenna. That wasn't very good improv.

Yes, and you went no, but. The complete opposite of improv. Oh, yes, I know. That's improv. No, no, no. And so what do you do for work, Alex? You mentioned that you have to deal with people on the phone a lot. I'm the music administrator at a private school. Wait, what was that?

Yeah, I'm always on the phone to people. I'm the music administrator at a school. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. We're in school hours right now. Have we fucking dragged you away from work? No, I was just making my toastie. Oh, gorgeous.

Oh, lovely. Yummy. Well, thanks for being available at the last minute when we set Cal on that challenge. That's all right. I'm always here for my boy, Cal. Oh, we love you. How long have you been listening for? Since not my cup of tea.

Yes. God, you're good, Alex. I just followed you when you evolved each time. Bless you. Well, thanks for sticking around. I'm glad I haven't bored to death yet. Yeah. One thing I've noticed,

Trudy doesn't gag when people talk about Nemcut anymore. I know. No, because I've grown up. True. Because also this particular podcast right here, right now, has outlived Not My Cup of Tea. We've done more episodes, so I don't think Not My Cup of Tea is a threat anymore.

Totally. True. Yeah. Like Friends used to laugh at all the sitcoms before, but then when it became Friends, they don't need to. That's us. Did you say you're a music teacher? No, I'm the music administrator, but I do teach trumpet sometimes.

Really? Oh. Wow. Yeah. Well, I've got your favourite student, John do teach trumpet sometimes. Really? Oh. Wow. Yeah. Well, I've got your favourite student, John, here. John, perform for Alex. Wow. John, you've been practising.

That's much better than the shit-hop cross-bands you played for me last week. Thanks, John. Sorry, I had't said anything. John hasn't learned how to share the stage yet. I hadn't planned how to bring it in yet and I freaked out. Thanks, Alex. Thanks, Alex. DM, oh, Idiot Calum and he'll get your prize.

By the way, Alex, don't forget it's pig week this week, Alex. So when the episode drops, what are you going to be pigging out on? What's your guilty little treat? Ooh, well, mashies are back at KFC. I've got them. Mitch has them. I've got them right in front of me. It's my first ever mashie.

They'll be the best. I'll listen to you eating them and I'll eat them myself. Yeah. Good girl. Jenna, quickly, what are you going to eat for pig week? When it comes to the perfect. Oh, it's the wrong chart time one. Fuck me in the ass.

That would have been so good. Do a take two. Go on. That would be so good. I can see you're in one ass. That would have been so good. Do a take two. Go on. That would be so good. I can see you're in one of these foul sound effect moods today. You do you. Get out of your system. At Chartime.

Hey, sorry. This is really good. Alex, stay there. Jenna, what are you having for pig? Because Mitch has mashies. Jenna, what are you having for pig week this week? Tell us. At Chartime, your bubble tea can be as unique as you.

I like to keep it simple. It's not even Jenna. No. Fuck! You have to find the right one. You did so fucking many. My favourite Char Time. Yes!

That's what you needed. Okay, here we go. Okay, take nine! Yep. Well, Mitch has the mashies. Yum. Jenna, what are you having for pig week? Tell us what you brought.

My favourite Char Time is pop it like it's peach. Mine is brown sugar with oak oak. No, you're right. That would have been perfect had you executed it well. As you can see, idiot Callum, it's a very well-oiled machine we run around here. I'm kind of scared because I'm glad I'm on this side of the glass. I'll just say that. Well, you're about to jump in here, so I wouldn't get too comfy out there.

Oh, God. Should we bring him in? Yeah, we better. Alex, lovely to have you on the show. Have a good day. Oh, thanks, everyone. No worries for you, God. Yeah. Should we bring him in? Yeah, we better. Alex, lovely to have you on the show. Have a good day. Oh, thanks, everyone. No worries. Oh, you bitch.

All right. Shall we do a top five? Yeah, let's do it. Edgem Top Five. This week we are ranking the top five potato chips, the ones you get in a bag, not the chips that you'd get at the bloody fish and chip shop, none of that.

And so Idiot Callum, who is here just kind of sitting in on the show today, we're putting him to work. We're all nominating our favourite chips. Get in here, please, Callum. Come on in. Take your time. Welcome back. Take a seat.

You're going to, we're going to provide you with our choices and then your job is to rank them from five to one. Great. Need a pen and paper? I've got a phone and problem solving skills. I'm good. Okay. That's all you need? I've got a phone and problem solving skills. I'm good. Okay. That's all you need.

That's all you need. Forget I offered. Okay. So I've brought my two favourite chips. Yeah. Jenna. Yes. I brought hers for her.

Thank you. But there you go. You've got yours and then Mitch, you've got the other two. Correct. Jenna's going to be rounding us out. So it's an even five. So who wants to nominate their chips first? I'll go first.

Okay. Yeah, all right. I don't mind. Okay. So my two chips are two classics. I actually, in organising this, Mitch and I sort of had many a phone call. I don't eat that many chips. We started bickering over the phone while we were debating them, mind you.

So I was like, save it for the podcast. And then he mentions, I don't even like that many chips. I was like, we don't have to do a top five if you don't even fucking like chips. It's ironic because that's like a fucking black bear saying, I don't like fish. It's like you've got very few chips that you like. Yes. And then there's no middle ground. All the others you just fucking despise.

Oh, yeah. I won't touch. I will not touch. My two entries are the Red Rock Deli sea salt and balsamic vinegar. Oh, okay. See, I don't like salt and vinegar in general. No, I don't either. Really? in general. No, I don't either. Really?

No. I mean, I'm not fucking picky. If they're there at the party, I'll have a couple. Yeah. But I would never, ever choose them. No, if I don't feel like the Joker at the end of a chip session after eating salt and vinegar, I'm not happy. You know how the corners of your mouth get all cut and your tongue gets all sliced up?

That's not a good time to me. Oh, I love that feeling. Chuck them over to Idiot County. You may as well taste test each one. Yeah. Why does this one say... As we go? Yeah, you may as well.

Sure. Why does this one say balsamic vinegar, not just salt and vinegar? It's different. It's a deeper, more nuanced vinegar flavour. It's more... You try, Caleb, and you can be the judge. Yeah, here we go. Have you had this one before?

No, I don't think I have. Oh, you better taste it. I thought these were really famous. Very strong smell. Very strong smell. And the brand must be Red Rock Deli. Okay. We'll give it a go.

Yep. Good crunch. Good crunch. Okay. Save, reserve your judgment for later. Okay. My next chips, Callum, are the kettle, sweet chili, and sour cream. Right.

Chuck a meat. Yep. Now, mind you. I do like a sweet chili, but not when it's like, when everyone eating at the party goes, oh, fuck, they're actually really hot. Yeah. Like, you know when you just kind of shovel your mouth full of them and then you go, oh, wait, whoa, there's an aftertaste.

Callum, you got a wish chip there. Oh, that's a wish chip. Oh, that's a wish chip. Do you know what a wish chip is? No. You fucking young generation. Oh, God. Sorry.

Kids these days. I don't know what a wish chip is. Like, what do they signify? A wish chip is when the chip is folded over and it's got a good crunch because it's a half chip, like a shell. But does it mean anything? It's not like a wish bone, right? Where you snap it or something.

Yeah, you make a wish as you chew it. Oh, do you? Oh, we'll make a wish, Callum. Go for it. Yeah. Make a wish and chew it. I thought that's what this was. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. This is your make a wish. Very true. So my wish is when it came true. Don't be fucking greedy with your wishes, please. Eat the chip. This is your make-a-wish. Very true. So my wish already came true. Don't be fucking greedy with your wishes, please. Eat the chips. Sour cream and chilli.

Sour cream and chilli. Mmm. Okay. Is it too chilli? No, it's good balance. Okay. It is nice, isn't it? Okay.

By the way, I did notice that both flavours come in both kettle and Red Rock Deli. How come you differentiated? It's very important. Okay. Yeah. There is a different flavour profile to each. It has to be those brands and it has to be those flavours. So the Red Rock Deli, salt and balsamic vinegar. Correct.

But never the kettle salt and vinegar. Never. Okay, right. I don't even want to look at them. But, Jennic, you pass me the balsamic one. I have one. Yeah, sure. All right, Mitchell, what are your two chips?

All right, my two. And, by the way, I have brought these out at many a party in recent months and the feedback from friends has been, oh my god, I'm so glad we're in this era. I forgot these fucking existed. These absolutely slap. It is the good old fashioned Burger Ring. That's a good one.

That's really good. That's a great find. You don't have to get stressed about what brand Burger Ring. I think burger rings are burger rings, really. Burger rings are really good. They must own the patent on them because there's no burger ring rip-off, is there? Isn't there like Burger Men? Oh, no, they got discontinued.

Oh, did they? I'm saving flavor. No, they're amazing. You'd love them. They're like a little man. They're little men that you eat. I used to bite the head off first. I think the closest thing to a burger ring would be a Cheezel.

Yeah. But they're a bit fucking much for me. I agree. Cheezle's too much. Put them on your fingers and have some fun. Here you go. When was the last time you had a bloody burger ring? Years ago.

They're good shit. Yeah, childhood friend's birthday party. Yeah, that's very good. Or just come to my place, mate. I'll be there to serve fucking snacks every night. All right, burger rings in. Oh. Oh.

They've changed that recipe. Bullshit. Give it here. Let us try one. Really? I doubt it. That does not taste like what I remember. No, that's a gorgeous bit.

Oh, God. It's so good. I couldn't even finish the sentence. That is so good. Yeah. Let me try. There's nothing different about that. What's up your ass?

No, it feels. No, I'm kind of with you. It feels weaker. Wait, let's see. The flavor's not as there. If Callum hadn't put that idea in your head, you wouldn't have thought that, I reckon. No, they're the same. No, I'm kind of with you. It feels leaker. The flavour's not as there. If Callum hadn't put that idea in your head, you wouldn't have thought that, I reckon. No, they're the same.

He does like to embellish. They're the same. Thank you, Jenna. Okay. Common sense prevails once again. You know what it is? The flavour is enhanced after getting out of a pool. Yes.

Oh, my God. You're so right. It's like a childhood party. You've just had a swim with all your mates. Then everyone dives into the burger rings. It's a different experience. Yeah, there's nothing quite like diving into the pool, getting the burger rings and having some.

But then the next handful, you get the soggy ones that you went and touched on the grab before. Maybe it's got something to do with the fact that I got the gigantic party bag of burger rings, whereas the tiny little packets that you'd get, you know, you'd get those boxes of, like, favourite chips. You'd have all the tiny packets in a big box. Maybe, I don't know, there's something to do with the ratio.

Yeah, maybe. Because there's a lot of Burger Rings in that packet. Maybe they kind of marinate in themselves when it's just a tiny little packet. Yeah, maybe. Anyway, my second one, I do need to paint a bit of theatre of the mind, okay? You're at the theatre. Okay, I'm there. And this is one of the only few snacks on offer and it makes you feel a bit la-di-da because you're like, oh, I'm at the theatre. Okay, I'm there. And this is one of the only few snacks on offer,

and it makes you feel a bit la-di-da because you're like, oh, I'm at the theatre. This is a special treat that I only get when I'm going to see a musical. It is the Pringles. Oh, no, get rid of it. That's not a chip in my eye, sorry. Yes, it is. No, it's not.

I would like to say that I wanted to just buy the original Pringles, and it speaks volumes that they were sold out. So I had to get this meat lover's pizza flavor, which I've not tried. But just bear in mind that it's Pringles as a concept, not necessarily this flavor. Wow. Mitch, how can you not find Pringles so satisfying? They all tessellate. What?

Yeah. Well, look, they all just, they're all spooning. Yeah, I can see that. But no, because your hand gets stuck and they all taste the same. I don't like them. No. And it's a biscuit. They all taste the same.

It's a biscuit. What do you mean they all taste the same? All the different varieties of Pringles taste the same. They're not unique to me. I'll let you try the bloody Meat Lovers Pizza one. See, look at how they all just like cozy up to each other. People always bitch when they get a big bag of chips. Oh, all the air.

It's a rip off. This doesn't happen. The tins fall to the front. Let me try. And they all squeeze in as It's a rip-off. This doesn't happen. The tins fall to the frame. And they all squeeze in as many as they can because they're the same shape. So your submission is generic Pringles. This is just what you could get. Mm-hmm.

Oh, God. I haven't had this flavour, the meat lovers, but it's interesting. But Pringles is a concept, Callum. Right, okay. They're awful, Callum. Oh, Christ. Callum be the judge. They're a biscuit. What do you think? I mean, it tastes like diluted meat lovers pizza.

Yeah, no, they've kind of nailed that flavour. But it is a very accurate flavour. Yeah. We'll see where it stands. Cherry, I don't understand your point where you say it's a biscuit. Like, what? What biscuit is that thing? No, this is a biscuit. Yeah, look at the cookies Jenna's got. That's a chip. It's not a chip, because a chip is a potato chip. Are they made from potato? Yes.

Yeah, they're just, they are potato chips. They're in the chip aisle. Look what I'm holding up. That's an actual chip with potato markings in it, the brown spot. They're processed. They're mashed. They're mashed. They're being like forced into a cookie shape. Well, it's like they've just got a cookie cutter. Like they slice them all the exact same shape.

It's not haphazard like other chips. Anyway. I just don't like them and I don't have to. So, so far, the four we've put forward are the kettle, chili and sour cream, is it? Yep. Sweet cheese sour cream. The Red Rock Deli, salt and balsamic vinegar.

The Burger Rings, the Pringles and now Jenna. Yes. What are you putting forward? Okay, so these are my favourite. I love these. They're a bit different to all of yours, so Mitch, you're going to hate this. No, I don't know. I've chosen Cobb's popcorn, lightly salted and slightly sweet.

Jesus Christ. No. Now, when I asked her when I was doing the shop, I said, are you sure you're going to put that forward in the top five? Absolutely. Are you sure? That's the strongest holster back here? 100%.

Jenna, that's not a fucking chip. Yeah, but it's still in a chip packet. Let me guess. What was your next option? Grainwaves? I do love a grainwave. I love a grainwave, but they're not a chip. Anyway, whatever.

Callum, you've been a judge. See, the thing about this is like a packet of popcorn. Popcorn has its place, but I think the microwave popcorn or the movie cinema popcorn shits all over this. This is like supposed to be health conscious popcorn. And so it's cold. It's not that buttery. Oh, it's nut free though. Yeah.

Oh, really? Yeah. Shit. I didn't think it would. What do you think? I was going to say the three of us haven't been nut free for a long time. Oh, I should get a few because it's salty and sweet? Yeah. Shit. I didn't think it might be nuts, right? I was going to say, the three of us haven't been nut-free for a long time. Oh, I should get a few because it's salty and sweet. Yeah.

Slightly salted. Barely any crunch. That's an embarrassing level. Now, I think we know what number five is. Well said. Do you know what I also think slaps? By the way, while we're talking about popcorn, I have this vivid fucking memory of when I was in year 5 or Year 6

or something and they had a class party for like the last day of the year and everyone had to bring a snack. I brought something that I thought was going to win me so many friends because I thought it slapped, but everyone went, ugh, yuck. Why did you bring that, rainbow popcorn? Oh, Mitchell, that's awful. No. I love rainbow popcorn.

Are you joking? I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. No. What? It shouldn't exist. No, Mitchell, that's awful. No. I love Rainbow Popcorn. Are you joking? I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. No. It shouldn't exist. No, it's just yuck. No.

But I associate, they're on par with Burger Rings for like kids' birthday parties to me. The Rainbow Popcorn was gorgeous. Yeah, but again, the pool experience. I think if you're going to enjoy Rainbow Popcorn, you need to have just had a swim. I agree with Callum. I also think we are missing out on the Plainsmith's sea salt. Like everyone loves a plain sea salt chippy. It's boring.

The crinkle one. Yeah, but that's safe. That's just too safe. True. We've gone our favourites, what we always go by and what we stand by. And if you're listening on Spotify, we might actually put in the comments section, you can put forward any fucking chips that we may have neglected to put in the top five.

I'll have it out with you. But who you should really be having it out with is Callum because he's deciding the ranking today. Callum, have you worked on your thoughts? Yes, I have. Okay. It's a tough one. Take your time and we'll begin with...

Number five. Okay. So, look, I think it's pretty clear. The Cobb's sweet and salty popcorn. Yeah, no, we knew that Jenna's pick was going to come last. No offence to Jenna because I'm not here to... I take offence. Okay, well, when I have popcorn, I just want it fresh from, like, the cinema.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Mothered in butter. Otherwise, sweet and salty. No, it just doesn't go. I feel like the Cobb's popcorn is something that a well-intended mother would get. Like, no, I'm not getting your chips anymore. I've sucked it to popcorn. It's more healthy. Yes. Maybe it's the trauma getting your chips anymore. I've stopped at the popcorn. It's more healthy.

Maybe it's the trauma with the school lunch. My mother's done that before. It belongs in a child's lunchbox, not in a broadcast studio. Correct. Correct. And Jenna, stupid choice. Oh, shut up. Sorry, I'm being honest.

Number four. Oh, number four. Wow. Now, this is tough. I was tossing up between two. Yeah. I've decided to go number four, the salt and vinegar. Oh, fuck you.

That's one of yours, Mitch. Elaborate, please. You love to feel like the Joker. I fucking hate it. Really? There is nothing enjoyable about feeling like I've been slashed at the mouth after a packet of chips. No, it's the sting. There shouldn't be repercussions with a chip.

No, I feel like I'm being punished for the salt and vinegar. Yeah. It does repeat on you, but that also makes you remember that you had the experience. Because what's the point of loving if you don't remember loving at all? Exactly. And then, heaven forbid, you accidentally lick your lips and then you're like, the salt and vinegar, the remnants.

Imagine pashing someone after a salt and vinegar. Oh, my God. Shall we try? Callum? No. All right. So, okay, now we're moving on to... Number three.

Number three is Pringles. Wow. I'll cop that. That means both of my picks are in the top three. So I'm happy with that. Yeah, yeah. What's your beef with Pringles, idiot? It's a texture thing. Really so I'm happy with that. Yeah, yeah. What's your beef with Pringles, idiot? It's a texture thing.

Really? I like a good crunch. And Pringles are good, but I don't feel as satisfied after crunching a Pringle. Probably because they don't have air bubbles and shit in the middle like some chips. Yeah. I think they're crunchy.

Maybe I just got some duds. I mean, the flavour's all right. The Meat Lovers Pizza, limited edition. But no, there are better contenders. I mean the flavour's alright The Meat Lovers Pizza Limited edition But um No There are better contenders I stand with Callum To be honest with you Hashtag

I think that Fucking Pringles slap I don't want to belittle you But you've had normal Pringles right Yeah Okay good That's taken into consideration Yeah

So this means that Mitch you and I both have One chip left In the final two One of our chips Will be crowned The number one most beloved chip in the nation. The next chip superstar. Correct. Yeah.

Australia's next chip superstar. And the winner of the title on the podcast, Callum. Are you going number two first or number one? I am. Okay. We'll do number two. Number two. Is Burger Rings. Oh, fuck. Number two is Burger Rings.

Oh, fuck. Number one. Sweet, chilly and sour cream. Yes! No! Callum, adore you. Give me those sweet chills. I need them now. Mitch is speechless. I'm not going to throw that. It'll go everywhere. Oh, my God.

Look, it was tough, but it came down to the experience of eating the chip because I like how a chip makes me feel. Burger rings must be consumed after a party. Get out. After a pool. You know, they weren't soggy, so I had to go the sweet chili sour cream.

They weren't soggy. So first my fucking Pringles weren't crunchy enough and now my burger rings aren't soggy enough. Yeah. God. Sorry about it, but I mean. I think a my burger rings aren't soggy enough. Yeah. Gosh. Sorry about it. But I mean. I think a soggy ring isn't that bad of a thing.

I've heard that you're quite partial to a soggy ring, yes? Yes. I really am. Well, I'm so sorry that my rings aren't soggy enough for your liking. Mitchell, try the winning chip. Yeah, I actually hadn't tried it. Yeah. I like the balance between the sweet chilli sour cream.

I've had other brands. I get what Mitch is saying. It also depends on what kind of crowd you're trying to impress. If it's just my friends, my close circle, I'll whip out the burger rings. But if I'm like, oh, the Queen's coming over. Sorry, Queen Consort. I better whip out the kettle. They're a bit fucking slightly higher tier, much like Daryl Lee versus Cadbury.

I'm so proud of my little kettles. Jenny, you've got to try one. Jenna, get in here. No, she's still eating her popcorn. She's chowing down on that fucking popcorn. Okay, no, I'm with you. Those kettles slap. They're not too spicy.

They're the perfect amount. Yeah, good balance. But I will say, good ranking. Burger rings are really good. I thought it was a strong contender. This popcorn's so good. Sorry, I'm having a mild orgasm with these chips. Listen.

Oh, God. Oh, now they're soggy, yeah. I'm still a sore loser. Get the fuck out. Bye. See ya. I'll take my chips with me. Yeah, take your chips with you.

No, I'll take a cookie. I need a cleanse me palate. Bye. See ya. Bye. Have a good show, everyone. See ya. Is it just me? Bye. See you. Bye. Have a good show, everyone. See you. See you.

Is it just me? You can follow the show online. Just search Couple of Mitches. If you don't, you're a dickhead. Hey, I've got a moral conundrum. I need your two cents on here. Okay. So if you've been keeping a close eye on my Instagram,

you would know that I'm currently in my walking era. I've got you muted, unfortunately, but I can imagine that's fun. Well, I'm making it known that I'm in my walking era because I really was not getting enough steps in my day. There was one fucking day that I had a low of 49 steps. Mitchell, that's shocking. I know. And I know exactly what happened on that day. I had a big night. I was hungover. I woke up,

walked to the office, edited this podcast on a Sunday, uploaded it, went back to bed. Wow. That was my 49 step day. And I was like, right, okay, I need to fucking up the ante here. I got a notification the other day saying, oh, your average daily steps have risen this month. Fuck off the hat. Well done.

Well done. That's big. But the thing is I've got this weird fucking toxic trait where I hate aimlessly walking. I don't like to just go for a walk for no fucking reason. That's the point of it. But the reason is you're going to better your health. Yeah, but that's not enough for me. I like to kill two birds with one stone.

I'm an efficient honey. So, like, you know how people usually get pissed off when you get a little slip from the post office so you have to go pick it up. I'm like, perfect, an excuse to walk. That's two Ks both ways. Oh, so you need something to do. Yes, I need to be walking for a reason,

otherwise it feels like a waste of time, which I know is a stupid way of thinking about it, but whatever. What about if you aim to finish a podcast? Well, sometimes podcasts are getting shorter and shorter these days, Jenna. They really are. And also what happens is I'll hit play on the podcast in the house

and then I'll start procrastinating and then the podcast is nearly finished and I'm like, I haven't even started the walk yet. I do the same thing. I take phone calls when I walk. I prefer to chat to people. Yeah, I do. I call my family, call you, Mitchell, when I'm walking. Have I ever gotten a walking call from you?

Yeah, you have. If I'm out of breath and sound like I'm about to die, then yeah. But one of my friends came up with a suggestion because I don't like to walk for no reason. They said, why did you become a dog walker? Oh, no. And I was like, fucking bingo. I love that because not only do I need a reason to walk, but I also need accountability. And you're getting paid.

True. Well, I wouldn't even fucking charge. I don't mind. Oh, I volunteer. I just want to be able to have a reason to leave. And also someone's expecting me there at a certain time on a certain day. So I have to actually go. I can't bitch it.

Yeah. Because, yeah, that's why do you think I'm going to Pilates classes? Because I have a time and a place to be there. But you hate dogs. You're a cat guy. I'm actually not. I was always a dog person. The reason I didn't get a dog was because I was working here and didn't have time to walk it.

Okay, fair, fair. But now that I'm a lady of leisure, essentially, I've got time to walk dogs. So you're going to put a little tear off on a post-it note around town? Well, I actually signed up to, I don't know, it's sort of like a dog walking marketplace. Why does this exist? What's it called?

What is it called, actually? It's called, not sponsored. Walk and Wolf. No, it's called Pawshake. Pawshake. Oh, that's funny. That's a very funny name. And so this was months ago.

I set up my Pawshake profile. I got ChatGPT to write a description for my thing. It's like, I'm a passionate, enthusiastic dog walker, blah, blah, blah. I'm fucking mad about dogs. My tail is wagging at the thought of walking your beloved. Wouldn't have said tail wagging, Jesus. What's my tail? Oh, stop it.

But anyway, this was months ago that I signed up to be a dog walker. And I honestly fucking forgot. Right. This week, I got my first inquiry. Oh, my God. Congratulations. I got my first customer. But this is where the moral dilemma comes in. Oh, you fucked them. No. God. Congratulations. I've got my first customer. But this is where the moral dilemma comes in.

Oh, you fucked them. No. Oh, sorry. I don't know. No. So they've inquired about me walking their gorgeous little dog named Ladybug. Okay. Do you have a photo of Ladybug?

I'm trying to find it, but I think poor shake might be fucking glitching at the moment because it keeps saying 404 thing not found. I did have a photo of Ladybug. I'd love to show you. That's all right. One of those little fucking black. Maltese things. No, no.

Like a, what do you call it? Fuck. A little black French bulldog. Okay. And so they are going away for three weeks and there's a few days a week that their partner isn't home. So they want me to do Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Okay.

That's good. Right. For three weeks. And so they want me to do it and I really want to do it. However, here's the fucking problem. Right. Two of the days I'm going to be in fucking Uluru. Oh.

Oh. That's random. And so tomorrow I'm doing my meet and greet with Ladybug to make sure I'm a good fit. Uh-huh. Do I or do I not flag that I'm actually not available? Oh, no. Because I really want to do it. I'm actually not available? Oh, no. Because I really want to do it.

I'm so excited. You can't get AI to help you with this one. AI can't walk the fucking dog. You need to be honest. You have to tell them that you're in Uluru, unless you want to take ding fucking beetle with you there and walk him around the red dot. Otherwise, no.

Oh, but I really want to do it. And I'm like, if this person's away for three weeks, how would they even know if I don't turn up and walk it? That's the moral dilemma. Okay, I was thinking just tell them no, but I get it. You're thinking of lying. Because I really want to walk this fucking dog. I'm so excited.

So how many days would you not be able to walk it? I think they're asking me to walk it three times a week for three weeks, so that's nine. So two out of nine. Oh, I think that's fine. The dog can have a rest. But I can't just leave the dog unattended. No, you can't.

I would have to, like, give the key to a friend or something. Wait, are you also feeding this dog every day and night? We haven't nutted out the details yet. I have my meet and greet tomorrow. So if you're only working it twice a week or three times a week, someone else must be coming to feed it every other day because you've got to feed a dog day and morning and night. The partner.

So it's a couple. One of them's going away for three weeks. The other one is kind of in and out of the house. Sometimes they're, sometimes not. And so the days that poor little ladybug is home alone, that's when they've enlisted Mitchell, the darling dog walker from pawshake.com.au, to come in and pick up the slack. But I don't want them to hire someone else.

If I tell them I can't do these days, they might hire someone else. Mitchell, there's plenty of dogs in there. And I'll have all nine shifts ripped out of my hands. Shifts? You sound like a 15-year-old about to work at McDonald's. No, say no. You don't want to be involved in the death of a dog. Why would it die?

You just don't know. Eye catastrophes everything. So what if poor little gumdrop got hit by a vase or something when you weren't home but you were meant to find her the next day but you didn't because you're in the red centre? But I wouldn't leave the dog there without anyone checking in. But would you get somebody else you know? Is that an option? I don't know.

Either I'm honest and I tell them there's two days I can't do here and I risk them pulling out altogether and going with someone else. Or I say sure, I'll be there. Mitchell. I'll be there, but then I just give their house keys to another friend so they can go look after Ladybug. Are you angling that you want me to go and fill

in for your two days and look after Ladybug? I was hoping you'd offer. I think that's a great idea. What are the dates? Monday and Tuesday, the 5th and 6th of June. Perfect. Any time between 11am and 4pm, just half an hour. Amazing. Oh, I actually can't.

I can't Monday. I could Tuesday. But I can't Monday. That might be too confusing for poor little Ladybug. There's multiple new faces in the house. She would love me. I do smell of beef brisket, so she'd really enjoy my appearance. But then that would confuse her.

If I'm coming in, then you're coming in, then the third gay man's coming in too much. I'm really confused now because the Poor Shake app seems to be working, but my message history is gone. Uh-oh. Oh, my God, they've blocked you. I'm not kidding. Oh, my God, they've blocked you.

Like, I checked this half an hour ago because I wanted the photo up on my phone to show you what Ladybug looks like and now I don't have any message history. Have you been ghosted by Ladybug? Mitch has been ghosted. Oh, no. Oh, Mitch. It better be a glitch.

I'll be very upset. This is devastating. I'm really sorry. He's been broken up with. Not necessarily. Not necessarily. Not necessarily, no, but more likely, yes. Look, when I click view message in my email, they let me know when I've got a new message.

Of course they do. They said, are you able to do a meet and greet this week? And I said, sure, Friday. When I click that, 404 page cannot be found. Is it glitchy or have I been ditched? You've been ditched. Mitchell, I think you've been ditched. Is there a phone app you can check?

I'm trying that too. Oh, then you've been ditched. I'm shattered. Hold on. Maybe Ladybug has passed and they've pulled the listing. That's possible. But wait, look, on the phone app, the message doesn't work. Neither does anything else.

So maybe it is just to fuck up with the website. I could still be in the running to be Ladybug's part-time babysitter. I can't imagine poor shakes getting enough foot traffic to have an on-demand tech team. Poor traffic. Poor traffic. Apologies, yes, you're right. Poor traffic. I love watching the cogs in your brain turn to send like, what?

Yeah, I didn't get it. No, I did get, you're right. Poor Trav. I love watching the cogs in your brain turn to send like, what? Yeah, I didn't get it. No, I did get it. All right, well, I'm not helping you, but I don't think you'll need help because I think you've been fired. Yeah. Apologies there. Yeah, sorry about that. Moral conundrum fixed. Yeah.

At least you have an answer. Yeah. You've got your answer. But that was my first inquiry in months. That says something about your profile. We need to give it some work. If that's your first bite in months. That says something about your profile. We need to give it some work. If that's your first bite in months, what are you doing wrong? You were just the one accusing Porschake of not having that much foot traffic.

Poor traffic. Poor traffic. Thank you. Well, how else am I supposed to advertise that I want to walk people's dogs? Print out a piece of paper, you cut little things at the bottom, and then you put it on a flagpole. Or a community board. I don't want to give out my fucking mobile number.

All right, if you are in the Sydney metropolitan area and you need your dog walked, and that's not a euphemism, woof, woof, Mitch will do it for you, but not in the dates that he is in the red centre because he's busy. Yeah. There you go, transparency open. I reckon you'll get bookings, Mitchell. All you need to do is send us a text to what number?

0412 712 092. That's right. Also, if you've got any other animals, Mitchell, walk them. You can walk a rabbit these days. Yeah, I can do that. I've had experience with guinea pig handling. I can walk a guinea pig. Yeah, he hosts this show with me every week, so he can handle a rodent.

Yeah, you've got the pig bit right. All right, well, good luck, Mitchell. Keep us up to date with your newfound venture. I'm really stressed about this. You'll be right. All right. Well, good luck, Mitchell. Keep us up to date with your newfound venture. Yeah. I'm really stressed about this. You'll be right. I hope that this app just starts working again. Maybe Lady Beetle or whatever ran away.

Lady Bug. Lady Bug. They're actually very hard to find, Lady Bugs. That's true. They're rare. And maybe it's good luck that she landed on you. Yeah. I mean, maybe it migrated for the winter.

Yeah, that's a really good call. That's a really good call. Yeah, well said. You're right. Sorry, it was really good. Anyway, so basically, long story short, is it morally wrong to take the gig but then not turn up for two of the days? Yes. Yeah.

Mitchell, yes. I'm being selfish. I just want some Ladybug time. You'll get another booking with Ladybug. I reckon be transparent with them. Say, guys, I would love to work with Roach. However, I cannot be there. But next time I definitely will.

I'd love to work with you and your dog. I see us having a great future together. However, I cannot make these dates. Don't play with people's pets. Were they a gay couple? You said partner. They just said partner. Gay.

In your suburb. I reckon that dog to them is their baby. Yeah, it's true. You don't want to mess with them. And you also don't want to freak them out. If they find out, you know, Mitchell, they could follow you. What if they follow you and they go, let's see where Ladybug's parent and guardian interim is and Mitch is frolicking on the back of a bus with a feather boa on,

his gay boyfriend wrapped around his waist, and then there's Ladybug completely starved at home in their inner west flat. Alone. That would never happen. I can see it happening. Why would I do that? Are you not posting about Uluru for those two days? Well, yeah, of course I will, but I'm not going to leave Ladybug unattended.

Yeah, but that little dog is very hungry all the time. Well, they only want me to pop in for half an hour, three days a week. That's all they want. So if I just get someone else to do it. I'm not doing it for you. I don't have the time. Jenna? I can't get there.

Hey, you said you could do Tuesday. I can do Tuesday. I can, yeah. I want my $5 commission. Yeah, that's fine. But you don't want to spook Lady Boo. Not all dogs are as easily spooked as you, Jenna. Yeah, I think the dog will be fine,

Jenna. It'll smell me coming. I get along well with dogs. Yeah, look at our partnership. Been thriving for years. Alright, Mitchell. Don't do it. That's my final verdict. I was afraid you were going to say that. Alright, let's go. I'm fucked off now. Alright, get. All right, Mitchell. Don't do it. That's my final verdict. Yeah. I was afraid you were going to say that.

All right, let's go. I'm fucked off now. All right, get out of here, everyone. Everyone needs a dog walked. Let me know. Okay. Idiot Callum, thank you so much for being here. Yeah, thank you.

Thank you so much for having me. It's been a delight. You enjoyed it? Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. You're the first ever listener of the show To be in seeing it happen live

That's not true Who was there? Remember Georgie who brought in the cookies? Oh yeah Fuck Get baked by Georgie She was really charming and warm And I felt really good having her

Yeah Well, I'll see where we stand Or sit We're all sitting You fucking awarded your chips number one Don't get sassy I know, thank you Callum Don't start with me. I've still

got a yoga that's been baking under these LED lights all day. Look at them. It's probably curdled, but that's fine. We better get out of here. Okay. Yeah, let's go. See you next week. Thank you for listening. Appreciate it as always. Happy Pig Week. Hope you enjoyed your own little pig out at home while you listen. My God. Happy Pig Week, everyone, once again.

This is the third annual. See you back next year for the fourth annual Pig Week. Isn't that crazy? I love it. Oh, me too. Four years. I love Pig Week. All right, see you in a week, guys.

Leave us a five-star review. We love you. Love you. Bye. Bye. See you. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Oi Callum, do you know the intro to ADD Brief? Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment on the end. Just a couple of dickheads with ADD having a debrief. Couldn't have said it better myself, really. Welcome. Come in here. Mays will come in, don't you think? Yeah, no, I can hear you. All right, stand by.

It's a bit of a madhouse. Just walk straight past them and don't make eye contact. No. Do you know what I want to, oh, it's now a cold beef pie. No. Oh, try one of these. No, that's what I want to try. They're really good.

That's what I really want to try. I'm going to stand up and have a little lay of the land and see where we're at. So hang on. What are you handing me? The Arnott's Obsessions. Yes, Obsession milk chocolate. Decadent biscuit with a creamy, chocolatey centre. I've never noticed these.

Rich chocolate chunks and a milk chocolate coating. The box is odd. It looks generic. I know. Yeah, it's not a very eye-catching box. No. Okay. Don't look at Jenna's crotch when you say that.

Oh, they're awful, Jenna. Yeah, they can't texture those cookies. They are dry and drab. Are you serious? They're good. I mean, they taste good, but they're just a bit impractical. They kind of crumble in my hands. What's that fear with, like, all the holes and shit?

Oh, yeah, like people are afraid of crumpets. Yeah, like, that is a bit horrifying, to be honest. Isn't it, like, trypophobia or something? Something like that. It's just all the rice bubbles in the back of this. So what is this again? Caramel slices hedgehog with almond pieces, toasted coconut and rice crisps. What the fuck does hedgehog mean?

Like a hedgehog slice. You know, it's got the malt biscuits and the chocolate. No. Not across that one. Oh, wow. That looks like my back in high school. It says here one serve is equal to four squares. So we're lying this week, I guess.

Does it have coffee in it? Oh, God. That's solid. Give us one bit. I don't want a whole row of this hedgehog shit. They look like spider eggs. Oh. No. No.

Oh, God. It's okay. This is a bit much, that hedgehog shit. I think the best treat is the number one winning chip. They're so good. Yeah, the sweet chilli sour cream. I disagree. Me too. Clearly, Callum doesn't.

No, it was great. I like the ratio, the synergy, I believe we call it. Give me a mashie. I haven't had a mashie. Help yourself, I guess. Go on. Oh, you've got to dip it in the gravy. Don't be I believe we call it. Give me a mashie. I haven't had a mashie. Help yourself, I guess. Go on. Oh, you've got to dip it in the gravy. Don't be failed.

Sorry about it. Right, here we go. Oh, he's trying the mashie. Oh, it's very cold. It has been over an hour, so that might be why. That'd be good fresh. Yeah. Yeah.

I've got to say, because I've been on this bloody health kick the last few weeks, I think I've become one of those people that I hate where I've had like a little bit of chocolate and I'm like, oh, I've got to say, because I've been on this bloody health kick the last few weeks, I think I've become one of those people that I hate where I've had like a little bit of chocolate and I'm like, oh, I've got a headache. I've got a sugar headache. Like, oh God, I've become that person. I used to be devoured with like a square kilometre of caramel slice with ease. You've changed. You do look good.

Have you hit the 10 kilo mark yet? No, I'm not aiming for 10 kilos. Oh. Yeah. I prefer not to focus on numbers. Okay, fair. My only goal was to fit back into my old clothes, so I'm going to need them back from Sean.

He inherited a lot of my wardrobe. Did he really? Yeah. That's so funny. And now you can't have them back. Mm-hmm. Now, tell me what Sean's review was of me the other week, because I went gay clubbing with you.

Yeah. God, you're very needy today. I don't remember the review. He brought it up. He didn't give a review. No. I thought you said he was shocked at my manners. No, he just, when you got out of the Uber and said, oh, drive safe,

he was like, oh, I like that. I'm going to add that to my repertoire. Because you know how Sean can't stop at one nicety. He fucking word vomits them all out. He's like, cheers, all the best, thanks so much. See you, have a good one. And so he's added drive safe. He started saying it to me when I'm not driving. Like, just, oh, drive safe. Oh, for fuck's sake. Have a good one. Cheers. Yep. And so he's added drive safe. He started saying it to me when I'm not driving. Like just, oh, drive safe.

Oh, for fuck's sake. When you're riding. Yeah. Drive safe. Is that a gear stick or are you happy to see me? Well, he's such a sweetheart. Sean is so nice. He is lovely.

I have met him. Have you? Yeah. Mardi Gras. Really? Yeah. Very briefly. He's a sweetheart.

Sydney Mardi Gras? Yeah. Closing concert. Oh, yeah. The one that Kim Petrus died through. Yeah. Yeah. very briefly. He's a sweetheart. Sydney Mardi Gras? Yeah, closing concert. Oh, yeah. The one that Kim Petrus died through. Yes, of course. Yeah, poor thing. So what are you doing in Sydney?

Oh, just visiting friends, all of which I've made through this podcast. Really? Yeah. How gorgeous. That's quite sweet. Shout them out. Oh, well, Jenny, of course. Oscar and I get along as well.

Little friend Oscar. Didn't some people surprise you? They flew to Brisbane for you. Jenny was one of those people. And Candice from Melbourne, they flew up to Brisbane and surprised me for my birthday. And I never met Candice. We all met through the podcast. I was kind of in on that.

Didn't organize any of it, but I knew that was happening and I was getting daily updates. No one told me a thing. Yeah, I had not a clue. And they'd been planning it for like five months prior. So they did really well. It was very hard because I messaged you to say happy birthday, but I knew. And I didn't know if it had happened yet. Oh, yeah, that's true.

So I was like, oh, how has your day been? Is your heart beating at what level? I wanted to know. And then it happened. It was beautiful. King of the airwaves, I think you said. Did I? But you clarified that it was community and not commercial.

Yes, that checks out. Just to humble me a little bit. Yeah, of course. Thank you so much. I did get told that my solo radio show was cancelled on my birthday as well. So that was very sweet. What? I thought you were still on air.

Yeah. I am. On Sunday nights, we're the only queer radio show in the Bayside area in Brisbane. So you know. And who would ever want two radio shows? That's ludicrous and stupid. I mean, we were in the same time slot, so I'm convinced it was your doing. Were we? Yeah. What time was that one? Seven till nine on a Thursday night. Yeah, we were in the same time slot, so I'm convinced it was your doing. Were we?

Yeah. What time was that one? Seven till nine on a Thursday night. Yeah, we were competing directly. That's how Not My Cup of Tea got started as a community radio show, and then we'd chop it up as a podcast. Isn't that crazy? And we were on a queer station Thursday nights.

Do you think this podcast could ever be a radio show? We'd have to fucking tone down the swearing. We would. Yay. And we'd have to throw to songs. Yeah, I'm sure you're not doing that bit. You can do that. Would you do it live?

This is a weird hypothetical. I mean, we are in the kids' studio. Can we just go on air right now? There's nothing stopping us. For all intents and purposes, yes, we could. It might not go down well. No. I'll do a cough over a song.

I'll do it in time. To what song? Or whatever's playing. I'll just cough in time. Actually, it? Or whatever's playing. I'll just cough in time. Actually, it's 3 p.m., so the pickup would be on. Okay, this is live on Kiss right now. Is he winking at everyone? Oh, it's me.

I am in my wink era, yes. I'm in my cool girl wink era. There is nothing more awkward than me trying to wink. I'm like, I can't time it right with my mouth. And then after listening to that, yeah, we could be a radio show. Very funny. No worries. Okay, let's after listening to that, yeah, we could be a radio show. Very funny. You guys are good. No worries.

Okay, let's not cough over it, but what we'll do. Okay, please cough into the phone. Seamless. Didn't last peak week you made a noise that sounded like a peak? Oh, yeah, Mitchell. You brought it up. That's a horrific squeal. Remember?

It sounded pretty much like that. Oh, yeah. I wonder if that's still in the system. I doubt it. It'll be called like cheery noise or something. Cheery pig. It's when you were laughing. That's every file, Jenna.

Oh, here we go. Is this it? Yeah, that was your pig screech last year. Oh, my God, that is a pig So who's to say that's not you in that voice memo as well? No, because I'm talking underneath that banshee You're an editor of some description That one comes from her soul

One more time Okay, please cop into the phone And by the way, she was not putting that on. Like she was genuinely going, stop, stop making me laugh. I can't stop. Like she was so apologetic for it as well. And I was like, that is a gift. Don't ever apologise.

Oh, and I really have to really say that that wasn't forced. You know when you all just go, that's where she coughed. That's what she got to with a simple cough. Yeah. She's not well New pandemic coming soon I guess Oh fuck a duck Well Mitchell I'm glad that you're in the dog walking era

I'm not yet No you're going to get another bite I know it It always happens like Facebook marketplace You put something up for months and then finally everyone wants it on the same day Does that actually happen? I get messages now for things that I was selling years ago Oh I really hope the app's down Otherwise otherwise I'm going to be heartbroken. Would you just get a dog?

No. Isabella would not agree with that. It's like the equivalent of being a babysitter versus being an actual parent. I don't want a fucking dog. Yeah. Because then I have to find a dog sitter when I can't be fucked. I'd rather be the dog sitter. Well, here's the thing.

I have been thinking about getting a dog. But you've been thinking about this for a long time. I have, but I think push has come to shove recently and I would like to get a dog. Well, go on. Can I walk it when you can't be bothered? That's where I'm getting to. Thank God. We'll be co-parents.

Would you like to walk my dog? Yeah. My non-existent yet dog. Well, hurry up. I feel like I've been asked to be the godparent before the child's born. Oh, yeah. That's beautiful. You'd be a great godfather. You wouldn't. I feel like I've been asked to be the godparent before the child's born. Oh, yeah. That's beautiful. You'd be a great godfather.

You would. I know. I would. Speaking of, all your family at your fucking comedy show, they all had matching shirts with Mitch's face on it, an ugly photo of Mitchell. Jane, your mum, was so beyond excited to be there. I know.

She got a bit carried away. She's, like, tanked after half a glass of wine. I reckon she had around five. She was tipsy. Yeah. What can you do? Truly nothing, to be honest. No, nothing.

You saw Mitchell's Brisbane shows, right, Carl? Yeah. I've seen both of his Brisbane shows. Yeah. Yeah. He's improving. Yeah. Yeah.

Thanks for your feedback. No, no worries. I'm keen for Water Off a Duck's Clit to come to Brisbane. It will. I'm sure. Are you coming Duck's Clit to come to Brisbane. It will. I'm sure. Are you coming to Brisbane? Eventually, yeah. I think last year I went in like September, so I've got a bit of time.

Yeah, got to get those ducks through customs. Oh, and I really want a duck. Oh, yeah, fuck. I made a mental note to bring one for you today, damn it. I was devastated that I didn't get one. I had my hand up. Could you see me and were you avoiding me? Because I was standing up.

I couldn't see you, no. I was screaming, duck! I want a ducky! She was. Yeah, but you weren't everyone was screaming, Jenna. That was a whisper compared to everyone. No, Jenna's yell is nothing. Jenna and I were right at the back in the corner, weren't we? We were tucked away. No wonder I couldn't fucking see you.

Yeah, but that's where we were allocated. Yeah, we were told to sit there. I wanted to go front row and they said, you, oi, fatty and pipsqueak. Oh, I might have had something to do with that. Why? I told one of the people that worked there. I wanted to go front row and they said, you, oi, fatty and pipsqueak. I might have had something to do with that. Why? I told one of the people that worked there, I said, my family, if they try and sit in the front row, get rid of them. They must have just assumed you were with them.

Because I said, I don't want them in the front row because last year they kept talking during the show as if it was a conversation. Mum would be like, oh, I remember that. Shut up. Just sit and listen and laugh. And so I didn't want them at the front because they would try and steal the show. You stayed on time as well. You didn't go over, did you?

A tiny bit over, yeah. That's right, because you started late. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Yeah, no, it went well. I do have to admit I did steal a poster from the wall. That's fine. I mean, I did that at his Brisbane show and got him to sign it.

You pulled it off? Yeah. There's no point of him being on the wall if the show's a finished show. That's true. You're right. You make a very good call there, Mitchell. Well said. I saw one too.

Well, it sits on my wall right above your headshot. Oh, lovely. Why do you have one of Thierry's headshots? Because I won Tencent Tuesday. Tencent Tuesday. Oh, my God. That was years ago on my radio program. Literally.

And it's not signed. It's just scanned and printed. Oh, for fuck's sake. Yeah, digitally signed. It's when you were little. Oh, for fuck's sake. Yeah, digitally signed. It's your, when you were little. Yeah, 18. Your Star Now photo, isn't it? It was 18.

It was my Star Now photo, yeah. Wow. I've got new ones. I'll express them to you. Thank you. No worries. I need one from Jenna too. Yeah, you do.

We'll take some today. Yeah, we can. Take some. Yeah, Jenna, go print off a photo of yourself and sign it for Callum, please. Just have your face in the scanner. Yeah, go sit on the scanner and get it to Callum. Okay. I am having a sugar crash.

Me too. Me too. I feel like I'm exhausted. And I've barely had any sugar. I had one square of that fucking echidna, whatever it was. That's the name of that dog you've got to walk. I had one of Jenna's whatever it was. What is it called?

Hedgehog. No, the other one, the biscuit. Oh, the obsession? Yeah, the obsession. That was awful. I had a whole one of those. Are you serious? And then I've had maybe three mashies. That's nothing. And yet I'm like, ooh, that's really knocked me around. I'm exhausted.

We'll have leftovers. Perfect. We will. What are we going to do with them? Let's donate them to a local homeless shelter. Sure. On the record, that's what we're doing. Idiot. Callum? Yes? We'll get you to go to the local. No worries. That's what you were saying in Redfern, right? Yes. Yes. Great. We'll get you to go to the local. No worries. Yeah. Because that's where you're staying in Redfern, right? Yes. Yes.

Great. We'll get you there. Well, we hope this podcast made you feel at least 3% better today. That's all. So we did. I was waiting for you to. No, no, I'm waiting for you to. That's not my job.

I was waiting for you to. I was waiting for me to. Sorry, go again. So, you know, I pushed through that line with a bit of coconut jam to my throat. I nearly had a coughing fit, but didn't. You can't even fucking manage to say it out loud. Okay. Sorry. Go again. So, you know, I pushed through that line with a bit of coconut jam to my throat. Nearly had a coughing fit, but didn't. You can't even fucking manage to say it out loud. Okay, sorry. Go again.

That's it. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 3% better today. That's all. Just 3%. So we do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy Pig Week, everyone. Happy Pig Week.

Once again, enjoy. Listen to this show with your favourite snack. And wash it down with your favourite disgusting drink. And don't forget a cheat meal is not a cheat day. Exactly. Because you know how sometimes if it's a cheat day, you'll eat one bad thing and then be like, the rest of the day is a write-off. Very true.

If you have one little treat, that's not a cheat day. It's just a cheat meal. It's just a little treat. Well said. You know what? Put that on our next merch drop. Yeah. That's beautiful.

Let's put that on the shirt. The rash shirt. Actually, yeah, I have gotten a call. People want merch. Do they? So we'll have to start workshopping, I think. Oh, okay. Oh, we've already workshopped.

Rash shirt. No. Actually, while we've got you, is there any feedback from the idiots that you'd like to bring to us? Because you are the head of them. Yeah, I'm aware that there are group chats with us and group chats without us. So what are they really saying? What are they bitching about?

What are group chats without us? There's one on Snapchat, but it's like four of us that are active and everyone else is just, you know, perving. Okay. Although we do yell at everyone who leaves. It'll say, you know, so-and-so left and we go, yeah, fuck off, sorry. Good.

People really enjoyed the washing hacks. Oh. The real life advice. I think people want more of that. Oh fuck, that's all I got. I know how to do laundry and that's it. Oh, I've got some tips on some other loads I can give.

No. It does involve two fairy balls as well. Christ. Maybe I shouldn't have come in, hey? He's showing off. Funny you say come in. Because my hacks are. Don't say it.

Sorry. No. What are the feedback? And it's okay. What do they hate? Yeah, say the stuff about Jenna. It's okay. Please don't.

I actually have the word Jenna blocked in my complaints folder because there's just so many of them. You wouldn't get to anything else. She's got her own folder. Yeah. Yes. Honestly, I think people miss the pranks. Oh, no. I don't. Honestly, I think people miss the pranks. Oh no, Mitch and I don't miss the pranks.

We had a really heartfelt discussion because pranks, you know, it's a new age now. People don't like pranks. Pranks get cancelled. Pranks get people in trouble. We did say, we're not going to go on record and announce that we're banning pranks in case we want to do one one day, but we were just like, fuck, we're over it.

Yeah. Phase it out. Yeah. Yeah. TikTok school. That's a classic. Yeah. Oh, we could do a new TikTok school.

There's a lot out there. And I think that covers most bases. Most complaints? Yeah. Well, not really complaints. Do you think there's a favorite Mitch that they lean towards? Yes. Clearly.

The one with the initials MC, I think they love the most. Well said. I knew it. Yeah. With the good hair. I'll sleep well ats MC, I think they love the most. Well said. I knew it. Yeah, with the good hair. I'll sleep well at night knowing that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well said.

Well said. No favourite Janice, though. It's quite odd. No, no, no. I struggle to believe that there's not one catty thing that someone said. Don't give us a name. Just tell us one complaint. Yeah.

I'm trying to think now. Has anyone ever said, oh, I can't stand Coombs' laugh or I can't stand Cheery's fucking, I don't know. Sound effects. No, actually, yeah, there is a couple of people that don't like the sound effects. Yes, I'm one of them. I've blocked them. I love the sound effects. Me too.

Don't stop looking over there. I think you've nailed the balance. I think so too. They used to just be so unnecessary and they'd derail the conversation, but now they actually come in and they work. Yes, it's a good synergy. Oh. I was just about to say it's a good balance like the sweet, chilly, sour cream chips.

Correct. Well said. You just fucking ruined it. Specifically me, what do they hate about me? I think people hate, which is a strong word, but I'm repeating it, when you shut Mitch down when he's in a silly mood. I don't think I do that as much anymore, do I? Well, you said you're in a silly goose era.

Yeah. So I think you've improved on that without even having to hear that feedback. No. I used to be a lot more of a bitch, didn't I? You did, especially to me. Yeah. But no. Okay, now for me, what have they had about me?

I mean, I can ask now. Oh, no, there were sound effects for you and me shutting Yeah. But no. Okay, now for me. What have they had about me? I mean, I can ask now. Oh, no, there were sound effects for you and me shutting down the silliness. They actually conflict with each other. They do. They say that they hate when you're silly and they hate when I don't let you be silly. Well, how do we fucking take that on board? Make up your minds, fuckers. It's tough.

It's tough. I mean, don't fucking give Calum the feedback. Just pop it in the Apple reviews. Can't wait to see that. Oh, we don't want the feedback there. Keep them five stars, please. Jesus. Spotify comments, though.

Go off. Yeah. Go off. That's fine. All right. We should go. Shall we leave? Yeah.

Yeah. It's up to you. Do you want to leave? Yeah. Idiot Callum, thank you for gracing us with your presence. Oh, thank you so much for having me. Thank you. We loved it.

As Mitchell says, if you don't ask, you don't get. That's right. Here I am. And you got. This could be you. Yeah. Thinking out. Having a great time. Oh, no. We won am. And you got. This could be you. Picking out. Having a great time.

Oh, no, we won't say yes again. Don't even try it. Yeah, this is a Make-A-Wish. Yes. Exactly. Special conditions. If you're preparing for death, we'll have you in here. Correct.

But otherwise, no. Well, this was our third annual Make-A-Wish and for Calumet was the last. All right, shall we go? Yep. All right, let's get out of here. Bye, bubs. See you guys. See you next week.

Love ya. Love ya. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. alright shall we go yep alright let's get out of here bye bub see you guys see you next week love ya is it just me a podcast by a couple of mitches make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app