Is It Just Me? - #158: Pilates & Yoghurt

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

Alright Hey from 'High Scrollers' is our surprise guest this week!   In this episode: A mispronunciation from Coombs (08:45) Churi’s slutty weekend (12:02) Starting rumours (29:26) Catching up with Alright Hey (34:33) TikTok School - cracking eggs on toddler’s heads (55:29) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (01:04:06)   Check out Alright Hey's new podcast, High Scrollers: open.spotify.com/show/1i7gQREFRHmcw58095EDjX   Hit us up: @coupleofmitches Send us a text: 0422 948 202See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you. Hello you. Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Would you rather sit on a cake and eat a dick or sit on a dick and eat a cake? Sit on a dick and eat a cake, absolutely. If you sit on a cake you ruin it.

Do you think I'd ever waste a cake by sitting on it? Now here's Mitch Chooy and Mitchell Coombs. Well, hello, you. Hello, you. Hello. How are we? Oh, fantastic. How are you, Mitchell? I'm bloody knackered, but we're soldiering on. I'll be right. Oh, me too. Oh, I feel like a nap. Oh, I'd love that, actually. Oh, I'd just love to watch like a nice four to seven minute Pornhub video,

do my dirty work and nap it off. Do you actually watch Pornhub videos intently or do you scrub through, like scroll through it? Oh, good point. If they're plot heavy, I skip the plot. But then sometimes I miss things and then they're in a doctor's surgery. I'm like, they started in a bedroom. Did he find a hemorrhoid halfway through?

So I do go back. But no, if it's just like an amateur porn, they started in a bedroom. Did he find a hemorrhoid halfway through? So I do go back. But no, if it's just like an amateur porn, I skip to the good bits. Yeah. Like, oh, no, I don't like that position. I'll skip forward, see if it changes. Oh, totally. And they always do. They always change.

They do. So many positions. It's exhausting. It's not like real life. No, God, no. How are you? How have you been? Why are you so tired?

Were you back from Bogangate? Yeah. I was supposed to be going back to the farm to, like, rest and restore, but then I ended up more busy than I would have been if I was actually here in Sydney. I ended up making all those videos of me running the farm, which was fun. It was good.

But, yeah, now I'm exhausted. I fucking saw that. If I never look at a computer screen ever again, I'd be quite thrilled. But, alas, I have to edit this podcast. Oh, sorry. You also did make our bar video which is available now everyone

we made you all barred up Mitch's bar class we took me and Jenna to his bar class as part of our hobby hunt yeah that video did so well so unflattering of me

in many different ways including me divulging that my penis was inverted which it actually was at one point I couldn't believe you said that no you know you kind of like do so much groin work that it just goes,

no, I'm protecting myself. You know, sometimes I just forget that my pain is there when I'm in the middle of a fitness class. But then there'll be certain positions I do where I'm like, oh, bulge. Whoops. Okay. This might just untuck my wedgie a bit. Oh, my God.

It happens all the time, especially me at the gym. My shorts will ride up. I'm like, there is dick out at the gym. And some of the bros love it like at the gym that i go to i think they know that they're i thought you said it was a mostly straight gym yeah straight bros yeah yeah and they love it oh they love it yeah no they don't love me no no no no that's what i thought you meant i was like shit okay no they love that they know everyone's looking the straight bros yeah i also today went to the gym and i was like a ringtail possum family has died in this bag and i left my sweat tail in there and it had just it had brewed it was awful and i trained with it my trainer was like this you actually need to get rid of it can i tell

you something really gross tell me and i can't believe I'm saying this, but one time I went to a class and- Pilates? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I had my gym bag on my back. I chucked a towel in, chucked my drink bottle in because I was running a bit late. And then when I got there, I went to pull everything out and I realised that I'd put my cum rag in there. Oh, Mitchell.

Instead of my normal gym towel. Mitchell. Oh, whoops. Oh, did you use it still? No, of course not. I just went towel free that class. You know what it would have done? It would have rehydrated cum.

You would have wiped your face with a crusty cum rag. You would have had your kids on your face. Yuck. Oh, no. Yeah, so double check your gym towel. Yeah, PSA from us, ladies. Well, welcome to the show. This isn't just me.

If it's your first time listening, every week we start the show the same way. Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know my age. I don't know Mitch's. We don't talk about – we're actually not even friends. No. We don't talk ever. We don't see each other ever.

We hate each other. Unless there's a paycheck involved. Oh, totally. Where there's a till, there's a way. That's exactly. Imagine if, do you think anyone actually believes that? That we don't like each other? No, we've posted too much evidence of us hanging out.

By the way, we are a man down this week. Pricekeeper Jenna is not here. Out of the blue. She couldn't be here. I wasn't shocked. I had been thinking, oh, she's due for a sickie. It's been a while since she's lacked off. we are a man down pricekeeper jenna is mia and i actually have a brilliant idea to fill the void of jenna yeah as a guest third wheel um i was

chatting to all right hey the other day oh yeah social media glamazon yes he used to be my co-host on trash alley that, as you know. And he's got a brand new podcast out. And he was saying, oh, you know, I'm doing the rounds, promoting a new podcast. Yeah, it's with Brittany Saunders, right? Brittany Saunders. Yes, correct. And he said, let me know if you want me to come on Idjim again.

Because he's been on Is It Just Me before as a guest. He has been. He was great. People love him. And so now that we're a man down, he doesn't live far away. Should we just give him a buzz right now and say, right, our podcast goes for an hour. If you can get here before we're done, you're on.

Oh, and that's also an incentive for him to promote the show. Exactly. On our hit, very, very revenue-heavy podcast. But we're a man down as well. So he's helping us and we're helping him at the same time. Do I have his number? Because I'm connected to the – let me see. I I have his number? Cause I'm connected to this. Let me see.

I can send it to you. I've definitely got it. I've got him saved in my contacts as righto g'day. Oh, funny. Yeah. I'm very clever. Um,

what else could you do? Yeah, sure. No, cause hey is the greeting. Oh yeah, you're right. Fuck.

I'm an idiot. Oh God, it's ringing. Sure. Hi. Okay. hello. Hi, darling. Hello.

How are you? We're great. I'm here with Mitch. Hi, darling. How are you? Oh, hello, everyone. It's a family reunion. Yeah, it is.

You're on the podcast, by the way. We're recording right now. Yeah. I know. I can tell because it sounds like shit in my ears. Oh, sorry. We were literally recording and Mitch had a brilliant idea. Yeah, I was thinking, Jenna's away at the moment.

She didn't rock up today and we're a man down. We need a third wheel ASAP. Oh, you're joking. We're calling in. We started recording. What time do you need me there? Oh, as in we've just started the episode. And so if you can get here within the hour, you can come on and be our guest host and plug a new podcast and shit.

Yeah. God, I mean, it's going to be a tight stretch of traffic at this time of day. Well, if you want to promote your podcast, Matthew, come on. You know, it all costs. Oh, I don't know. We're already number one in the country. I don't want to drop to number two next week. So we better do it.

I better promote it on your podcast. Oh, by the way, Matt, don't drive all the way to KISS. We're just recording at my place down the road from you. So I'll send you the address because you haven't been to this new place before, I don't think. Oh, really? No. It's a whole rigmarole to get in. Jesus Christ.

It's a bit hard to find, but this is payback because I've been to your place, mate, and it's not fucking easy either, the whole parking situation. So, yeah, this is your fucking karma. They know him as the influencer. When you walk in, I was like, I'm going to see Mitchell Coombs. Like, oh, I love his TikToks. That's actually what happened today. Really?

Yeah. I didn't know that they knew about me being a TikToker. Anyway, we don't have time. I'm going to be so upset if I show up and she doesn't know who I am. Well, get here. Mitch, text Matt your address. Yeah, I've just sent it to you. I would estimate you'd be like 20 minutes to half an hour away.

Yeah. Factoring in all the fuck around of parking and stuff. Are you doing anything? What are you doing? I'm dancing around the house and I'm dancing to Kylie Minogue's new song, Tension. Tension. Yes.

Yes. Mitch and I were just talking about that. We'll get here. Mitch, text Matt your address. Yeah, I've done it. Okay, we'll make it happen. All right, Matt, we'll see you soon were just talking about that. We'll get here Mitch, text Matt your address Okay, we'll make it happen. Alright Matt, we'll see you soon, okay? Alright, bye Alright, there you go, third wheel. Perfect! Alright, Hayes is going to be here. We'll promote the show

Are they really number one? That's incredible Yeah, I know. Good on them Am I meant to hang up now? Oh, sorry Sorry, no, you can, sorry Yes, you've got to get here. Yeah, hurry up Hurry up. Alright, bye! See ya See ya. Oh, he's gone, there we go There we go. Oh, you can. Sorry. No, no. Yes, you've got to get here. Yeah, hurry up. Hurry up. All right, bye. See ya. See ya.

Oh, he's gone. There we go. There we go. Oh, well, there you go. That was easy. All right. Hey, coming up. I'm excited.

Last time he was here, he had a go at me because I didn't match with him on Tinder or I ghosted him on Tinder. Yeah, you did match and then you chatted for a little bit, but then you stopped replying. Totally. Yeah. Oh, well, now that you're single. Actually, he's not. He's not single, no.

Yeah, but maybe I'm so irresistibly tasty. Now that I'm in my hot era, maybe he'll ravish my bones. Who knows? Maybe. That could happen. What a tease. Anyway, we've already done your whole spiel, so should we get into our is it just me's in the meantime?

Yes, I think we should. Let's jump in. Do you want to go first? What's yours about? Well, mine's actually to do with the bar class video that we were speaking about. So we may as well. Let's do mine while it's top of mind.

Sure. All right. Is it just me or? Was I the only one to notice a little mispronunciation at the start of the Bar Class video? Mitchell Coombs. From me? From you. You edited it.

You recorded the audio. You posted it. You put it online. It was you speaking, and you still didn't pick up on this mispronunciation. And we are known for our mispronunciations. Well, usually we're roasting other people for their mispronunciations. I know, but the call's coming from inside the house.

So you're telling me you didn't realise? Well, it depends. What is it? I think I might know what you're talking about. Okay, let's roll it. So this is from the Bar Class video from last week's Hobby Hunt, the mispronunciation for Mitchell Coons. Just at the very start of the video.

Yeah, just at the very start. Just play the video and you'll hear it. The Hobby Hunt is on. I've brought Cheery to share something that I already enjoy doing. We're here at Scout Pilates and Yoga in St. Peter's. Stop it! Yeah, I knew it. Sorry, I didn't realise Scout Pilates was also a yogurt factory.

We're at Scout Pilates and Yogurt. No, I didn't realise Scout Pilates was also a yoghurt factory. We're at Scout Pilates and yoghurt. No, I definitely noticed too. When I was editing, I was like, did I just say yoghurt? Listen again. The Hobby Hunt is on. I've brought Tury to share something that I already enjoy doing. We're here at Scout Pilates and yoghurt. It's yoghurt.

But you know what happened? When I was editing the videos, I added subtitles and it thought I said yogurt too because it automatically writes the subtitles and I have to correct it. And it thought I said yogurt as well. And I was like, oh, fuck, I hope no one else picks up on that. Listen, if I went to a Pilates X frozen yogurt joint, I'd fucking love it. Sounds like a match made in heaven. It does.

Scout Pilates and yogurt. Do you know what else, though? I will say this. This will fucking put your mind at ease. You know that really embarrassing moment during our class? What did Mitchell – there were so many. Which one of the nine embarrassing moments? Well, the one where our instructor said, all right, let's do some hand weights,

and you thought she said ham weights. And if you listen back – Well, that's what I was about to say. If it makes you feel any better, the subtitles also thought she said ham weights. And if you listen back. Well, that's what I was about to say. If it makes you feel any better, the subtitles also thought she said ham weights. Thank you. She had a mispronunciation. She said ham weights. Because I was thinking of jokes.

I was being stupid, i.e. the inverted penis. But then when she said that, you hear me, I say yum. Yeah, you actually thought she said that. And so did the subtitles. But I knew what she meant. Ham weights. God. Scapulitis and yogurt. Can we listen the subtitles. But I knew what she meant. Hem weight. God. Scout Pilates and yogurt.

Can we listen to that one more time? Scout Pilates and yogurt. No, it's not just you. I picked up on that too and so did the fucking subtitles. The Hobby Hunt is on. I've brought Tury to share something that I already enjoy doing. We're here at Scout Pilates and yogurt. What's wrong with me? Scout Pilates and yogurt.

Nah, I'll cop that accidental mispronunciation from me. Anyway, that's all I wanted to say. We haven't had a mispronunciation in a while and for once you've made an error. That was me. For once. Your first error ever, Mitchell. I mean, you said it, not me. It's very rare that I make mistakes, but it's happened.

Write it down. Where were you when Mitchell made his first mistake? No, it's not rare that you make mistakes. It's rare that they ever get past the gatekeeper, which is yourself. No, I it's happened. Write it down. Where were you when Mitchell made his first mistake? No, it's not rare that you make mistakes. It's rare that they ever get past the gatekeeper, which is yourself. Nah, I'll cop that. Anyway, are you ready for my Is It Just Me? Yes, I've got that off my chest. I don't mean to roast you, but.

No, no, no. I think, like I said, it's not just you. I noticed it too. I just hoped no one else would, but evidently they fucking have. I brought it to the attention of the listeners. All right, your turn. Is it just me or? Is anyone else a bit sass about Mitch Cherry's weekend?

Oh, what do you mean? Well, you just mentioned a couple of clues in last week's episode that have gotten me a bit sass. First, you mentioned that you started taking PrEP, the go-to drug for gay singles. No, I got the prescription for PrEP. That's true. I hadn't taken it.

But you also said that you were going on a weekend away in Melbourne. Yeah. And when I asked, oh, what for? What brings you to Melbourne? You were very sheepish about the details. You were like, oh, just a little weekend away. I was not. I just said it's a little getaway to get out of town.

Okay. I thought, listen, just because I'm not in the same room as you doesn't mean I can't read your mind. I knew what was happening. You were planning a dirty fucking slut weekend away, weren't you? No, no, no. That genuinely wasn't the reason for the trip. The trip was to just get out. I had a weekend off and a Friday off so I could have a three-day weekend.

The intention was not to be a little slut and slut around Melbourne. That did happen. It did? That wasn't the intention. Wait, wait, wait. So what was a dirty whore weekend? Oh, shut up. I'm allowed to go away. No, of course. And I'm allowed to just live. I'm a single gorgeous man now. No one's suggesting otherwise. All i'm saying is that i knew what you were up to as soon as you mentioned those two things i was like he's gonna be a little fucking whore this weekend did you actually think that yes instantly i didn't say anything because i wasn't sure if you were being subtle about it even right now do you want to talk

about your whorish behavior can we please well i mean we brought it up um it wasn't it wasn't a whorish weekend i mean i, I'll tell you. Yeah. But that means tell everyone. Just pretend that there's no microphones here right now. It's fine. Just talk to me. We're just two mates hanging out on the couch. Well, so, I mean, okay, this is funny. So, you know how I think two weeks ago we were talking about you having hooked up with a listener.

Yes. Of the show. And then I said, I don't think it's fair because you and I have to do everything in equals. Oh, yeah. You have a different precedent. It just sets a precedent that you've I said, I don't think it's fair because you and I have to do everything in equals. Oh, yeah. You have a different precedent. It just sets a precedent that you've done it and I haven't. After the Melbourne weekend, I can announce that I also have hooked up with a listener. I've hooked up with an idiot.

Stop it. Yeah. It's happened. Oh, my God. It's officially happened. Wait. This is like, this is breaking the drought post-breakup, isn't it? Yes.

There was two experiences on the weekend. Two? Two. With the same idiot? No, another one. More than one listener of ours? No, I think, no, yeah, there were multiple, yes. Oh, my God.

There were multiple listeners. What the fuck? How long were you there? I was there for three days. Three days? I was there for three days. And there was two physical interactions, and then there was a couple of others that I met via Instagram and I've been talking to and they – can I actually make a PSA?

Yeah. If you're going to hook up with either Mitch or I, please tell us that you listened to the show before we hook up because it happened to one of them we hooked up and then after we had FaceTime, like phone sex was very fun. Oh. And then after was like – Wait, wait, wait. Why did you have facetime sex

well because i met them in melbourne but nothing happened and then when i got home yeah the flirting continued and then something happened on the phone and then after they're like by the way i loved you loved your interview with judge gina oh god i was like oh god oh my god you know i'm with you on that it's actually not a turn off if you say to us beforehand that you're a listener. Yes. If anything, that's going to hit the clit of our ego and that's going to get us going. But if you wait till afterwards to tell us that you're a listener, that makes it weird.

You should disclose that initially. That won't be a turn off. Let me tell you the story of this listener that I hooked up with. Absolutely gorgeous. The first one. You want to see a photo? Look, isn't he gorgeous? Oh.

Oh, hello, handsome. So what happened was. You're kidding. I know. And it's me. Yeah, gorgeous. So wait, I'm losing track. Was it him multiple times or were there multiple?

No, not him multiple times. There were multiple men. Was he the first one? No, in the middle. The Saturday night. Who was the first one? Cut me some slack. Just some guy that I met on Instagram and he said, do you want to get drinks?

And I said, yeah. He goes, I live in Melbourne. I go, damn. I'll like a sip of something else, mate. So then I booked the trip to Melbourne and said, hey, I'm coming down. And then he came down, so to speak. Yeah. He came up.

It was actually, he came up. It was a weird sort of projectile. And so night number two was that one you just showed me. Yeah, the listener. And he's lovely. And we're still messaging. He's actually, he's very nice. Yeah, he's very nice.

Would he be listening now? Yeah, I'd say so. Hey, how are you? So let me tell you the story. So I was out at a bar, at a rooftop bar in nice. Yeah, he's very nice. Would he be listening now? Yeah, I'd say so. Hey, how are you? So let me tell you the story. So I was out at a bar, at a rooftop bar in Melbourne. Yeah. And I haven't been drinking for months and I'm back on alcohol because I've gotten fitter and I feel good.

So I'm drinking again. So I was drinking. I was quite tipsy. It doesn't take much to get you tipsy, to be fair. No, it really doesn't. And especially after my tolerance is really low. So I'm sitting on this rooftop bar and there is this gorgeous boy. I'm like, oh, he's beautiful.

And I'm with my cousin and his wife, Drew and Chloe. And I'm staying with them because they're down. Oh, okay. So we're on this rooftop bar. It's like midnight. And I was like, they're like, oh, who here do you think is really good looking? Like, what's your type? Right.

So I see this guy. I'm like, oh, he's beautiful. Like one of our idiots. Gorgeous. He said, that's my type right there. see this guy i'm like oh he's beautiful like one of our idiots gorgeous he said that's my type right there he is beautiful sign me up um and then my cousin's like i'm gonna go up and talk to him i'm gonna go up and try to link it i'm like i don't even know if he's gay no i don't want to do it i just sorry but i saw the photo he's gay he's gay it's christmas darling no i was like oh i don't know no just leave it and then he was like i'm gonna go up and i'm gonna push you two together and it's gonna be fate and it's gonna happen i'm like please leave me alone i don't want to do it

i just am fine so you eventually made a move or no we went home oh you chickened out i chickened out i just thought it's not for me tonight and i had a good night the night before i'm gonna go home we poured a glass of wine you were still recovering i was wow so i was sitting there and i was drinking a wine and it was like 1 or 1.30 now. And then my cousin goes to me, how does Grindr work? Can you show me how Grindr works? And I'm like, oh, I don't really do. Grindr's not really my app, but sure, I'll show you how Grindr works.

Yeah. So I refresh Grindr, open it up, and the first person that pops up is this guy. Oh, our idiot. I'm like, I swear that's the guy. Should we give him a code name? What do we call him? Well, I don't even know his real name, but I assume you don like, I swear that's the guy. Should we give him a code name? What do we call him? Well, I don't even know his real name, but I assume you don't want to put that out there. No, I'm not going to say his name.

All right. Well, just think of a random name. Paul. Paul. All right. That's not his actual name, is it? No, it's not. Okay.

So you saw Paul on Grindr after having chickened out of talking to him in real life. Well, I think it's him because I was drunk and I'm like, I think that's him. So I go, oh my God, this is fate. I messaged that's him. So I go, oh, my God, this is fate. I messaged him. Yeah. And I said, hi, were you at this bar? Like, did I just see you at XYZ bar? And then he replied and was like, maybe.

Then his next reply was, by the way, love the podcast. Oh, okay. And I was like, okay, here we go. We're cooking with gas. See, there you go. Disclose it from the get-go. That's good. I like that.

Thank you, Paul. Good on you, Paul. Go, Paulie. So then Paul goes, it See, there you go. Disclose it from the get-go. That's good. I like that. Thank you, Paul. Good on you, Paul. Go, Paulie. So then Paul goes, it was like cute. I was just like, oh, like, what are you doing? And he's like, if you come back, first drinks on me. I'm like, Paul's got game. So I'm like, oh, God.

I was already at home. It was like 1, 1.30. I'm like, fuck it. I'm in Melbourne. When in Melbourne. When in Melbourne. That's the other reason I was sus about you having a whole weekend away because I just thought there was something about being in a different city

that felt more anonymous. Yes, totally. So I thought if you're going to sow your wild oats anywhere, it's going to be somewhere that feels less close to home literally. Exactly. And it really was. Oh, I fucking knew it. So anyway, I walked to this bar that he's at with another friend.

I meet him. Gorgeous. So cute. Such a nice person. And we danced and it was very, very fun. Is that what you call it? We danced. We danced the night away.

Bit of horizontal dancing. And then we're at a public venue, Mitchell. And then we're dancing and he's lovely and I'm getting to know him and getting to know his friend. And then the worst thing possible happens. He goes, oh, let's book an Uber. Let's go to the next venue. Yeah.

And I'm like, great. Poof doof. Oh, yeah. Poof doof in Melbourne. Yeah. And I'd never been to Melbourne. Doof. So I'm like, this is cute. And I'd never been to Melbourne. Doof. So I'm like, this is cute.

And I'm like, okay, let's go. So he opens his phone to book an Uber outside the bar and he unlocks his phone and then a photo of my face is on his Google on Safari. Oh. And I was like, what the fuck? And I'm like, what is that? He's like, no, don't worry. Don't look.

Don't look. I'm like, show me what's on your phone, Paul. Show me. So I pull his phone out of his hands and he has been googling i opened his search history how old is mitch cheery does google come up with an answer i don't know you try it hang on how old is mitch cheery then it also said mitch cheery googling that well i asked him he he thought i was a cat he thought the grinder account was a catfish he didn't think it was actually me and i'm the only thing on my Grindr, I've got no age, no sexual interest.

You don't even have a photo on there, do you? No, I do. In Melbourne, I have a photo, yeah. Oh, you do now? Yeah, it's a nice little photo of me in a puffer. So I've just Googled it and no, nothing comes up for how old is Mitch Cherry, but the top search is who is Mitch Cherry. Demoralising.

Anyway, I was like, you fucking twink. How dare you? And I'm'm 27 but i look 23 so that was hilarious we're getting a cab we go to pufto if we get there i'm in a north face puffer what time is this it'd be like 2 33 fuck this is all so out of character for you i'm fucking shocked but paul and his friend what a slut slut. No, Paul and his friend, really sweet. And I'm like, this is great. Let's go to Pooftoof. So we go to Pooftoof. I'm in a North Face jacket, like the same jacket that they wear in base camp in Nepal when people climb fucking Everest.

And he's ducked down. Yeah. And I sweat. That is not a clubbing jacket. No, I know, but I didn't think we were going clubbing. So I get to Pooftoof. It's Melbourne. I get it.

He buys me a drink. It's very sweet. And I'm like chatting and chatting. And then he's like, let's go upstairs, which is like the boiler room. Oh, and there's podiums in the middle. And I am sweating. Heart rate rising. Because of your fucking puffer jacket.

Yeah. He's like, you need to take the puffer off. I'm like, no, I don't want to take the puffer off. He's like, you need to take the puffer off. So I take the puffer off. And like the field of gaze surrounding us. Sorry. How did you put up with being in the puffer jacket and you refused to took it off?

Because once again, the air con is set to Mitch Thierry temperature in here. I'm freezing. Because I was wearing a white skivvy underneath and I would have had sweat patches. I was self-conscious. Oh, okay. And I did, but no one cared because all the poof doof Melbourne, surprisingly, has a nice vibe. And also, they're no stranger to sweat there. No, I know, I know, I know.

So anyway, my jacket kind of gets carried away by a group of gay men. They all kind of put it in the corner. I'm like, thanks, gay men. It was very sweet. Anyway, then Paul goes, do you want to get up on the podium? And I was like, Paul, I'm not a podium kind of dancer. Oh, everyone's a podium guy. No, I don't want to be watched while I dance.

I don't want to be looked at. Dance like, there's a reason that that phrase exists, dance like no one's watching. There's a fucking reason. Well, Paul jumped up. Get on the podium. He goes, get up. He gets up there, gives me his wrist.

He pulls me onto this podium. Oh, we wanted to hold you. I don't know about that. How gorgeous. The centripetal force of my sheer body weight. He pulls me up and like a seesaw in a public fucking park. I go up. I'm on.

The local guys go, yeah, he's up. And I don't stop. And I fall straight back down on the other side of the podium, flat on my face in the middle of Puff Dove at 3am in the morning. Oh, fuck, I wish someone was filming. Can we ask them for the security camera footage? That is the most you thing ever.

And then Paul gets up and he goes, that is the most cheery thing ever. He's right. And he knew. To make matters worse, Paul, we're dancing and we're like, it's cute, the vibe is hot. And then he goes, hey, do you want some of this? And he hands me, it's dark and it's playing Gaga, I loved it and then he goes hey do you want some of this and he hands me it's dark and it's playing gaga i loved it and he goes you want some of this i go sure pina colada vape brilliant i'll have a little suckle you having a suck on a vape god

you are letting your hair down so i go and i suck on this vape anyway um i instantly realized that he hasn't handed me vape he's's handed me a bottle of emel. And I've sipped emel like it is fucking Bailey's on ice. And I drink the emel, Mitchell. Did you? And I'm trying to be cute as well in front of this boy. I'm like, yeah, I'm cute. Let me have a vape.

Oh, no. And I sipped it and I had to swallow it. I had to swallow it. So it was all over my chin. Oh, God. Did it burn? Yeah. He goes, did you just fucking drink emel? I'm like, like yes i'm sorry

it's dark i thought it was pina colada pina colada babe hey fuck wait so just rewinding for any straighties that don't know oh yeah emil how do you even describe it emil jungle juice if you've heard troy savan's rush it's actually a shoe polish yeah and it also can clean vhs tapes that's what oh yeah there you go and so it's just a little bottle of a really potent chemical. Yeah. And the reason it's popular in the gay world is because it loosens your muscles, which can come in quite handy when it comes to certain sexual acts. Muscle relaxant, yeah.

Yeah, it just loosens things up a bit. I'm personally not the biggest fan of it. I've never actually used it for sex, like loosening muscles. But if someone hands you a bottle in the club, it's kind of like, yeah, right, I'll give it a whiff. You just get a little head rush. Oh, my God. But I don't actually like that head rush, to be honest.

I like the head rush. It makes me very horny. Yeah, it does, actually. It can be a bit like that. But I just find it a bit – I'm not the biggest fan of Amil, especially – yeah, you're not supposed to drink it. No, we're not endorsing taking Amil. Be safe.

Be safe. I can't even think – So, anyway, I'm covered in sweat. No, we're not endorsing taking amylose. Be safe, be safe. I can't even think. So anyway, I'm covered in sweat. I've lost my fucking North Face puffer. Were you coughing and spluttering? Because that would have been the most revolting thing ever. I was trying to play it off cool, but my lips were burning. It's like I just rimmed a petrol gasoline bowser on someone's car.

Anyway, I sip it. It goes straight into my bloodstream. In my disorientation, I fall back off the podium a second time. Again? A second time. And he goes, you just fell off for a second time. But he, like, grabs my arm and it's so unsexy. What is wrong with you?

Awful, awful. But after all that, he still wanted to hook up. It was great. So he's very cute. Oh, really? Yeah, very cute. Wait. How good's a party pash?

Oh, so we're talking at the club, a bit of a party pash. Yeah, he picked me back up and I fell into his arms, a bit of a party pash. It was very cute. That sounds fun. That is very cute. Yeah, it was me back up and I fell into his arms, a bit of a party passion. It was very cute. That sounds fun. That is very cute. Very fun. And by this time it was like 4.30 in the morning.

Fucking hell. Great kisser, Paul, if you're listening. You slut. I fucking knew it. You're out and about again. And so that was the second guy. You said there was a third. Or was that the phone sex guy?

No, there was a third that I met when I was down there that I didn't have drinks with. But then we continued chatting and then it just sort of escalated yeah phone sex is it's my new thing i like it it's a bit of fun a bit raunchy so the phone sex was also a listener that's the one that told you after tell me till after yeah wow yeah no but so you've not only hooked up with a listener like i have to match me, but you've gazumped me. Correct. I've had double. I've had two.

In the space of one weekend, you've hooked up with three listeners, technically. Yeah. You dirty fucking whore. Technically. There's another one, too, that I'm talking to that's very cute. He makes a great chicken burger. He's also a listener. He's gorgeous.

How do you know he makes a great chicken burger? Because he sent me a photo of his chicken burger. He was making a chicken burger. And I was like, that's a good fucking chicken burger. Sounds like the band is flowing between you. It has died off in the last couple of days. burger. He was making a chicken burger. And I was like, that's a good fucking chicken burger. Sounds like the band is flowing between you two. It has died off in the last couple of days. Oh. Oh, all right. Hey, it's here.

Anyway, Paul, if you're listening, message me. Hold on. I've got to answer my door. Okay. All right. Great timing. All right. Hang on.

Let's get it. All right. Mitchell's going to get it. All right. Hey. Hello. Oh, my God. I thought I didn't do the right one then.

No, it's mine. Come on up. Coming. Okay. I've buzzed him up. All right. He's coming. He'll sit there. What a shame. He. Okay, I've buzzed him up. All right, he's coming. He'll sit there.

What a shame he missed the story about your whorish weekend. Oh, we don't have to go back onto it. He'll be fine. He'll be all right. I'm standing at my door right now with the portable mic. I've got my back to the door. I'm looking through the little peephole. Do I have to get up for him?

Well, that's up to you. He's not the queen of fucking Chiba. But he's doing us a solid. He's filling in for Jenna. All right, I'll get up for him. Where the fuck is he? You're not that far up where is he don't don't dox me oh yeah you are that far up and you're covered in penthouse covered by ocean oh he's coming i don't want people to think i'm a slut by the way i'm not a slut everybody yes you are hello coming down

what do you think of my house? Let me give you a full tour. What have we got? We've got bum bags hanging from cupboards. Oh, cheap PR gifts. We've got brollies everywhere. Come in. Is this mine?

I was contemplating, do I stand up and say hi? Yeah, of course. I want a hug. How are you? Great to see you. Good to see you. Are we filming? Are we filming?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, all right. Let me just pop my stuff down. Yeah, over here, darling. Here you go. Have a seat Okay. Yeah. All right. Let me just pop my stuff down. Yeah. Over here, darling. Here you go. Have a seat here.

Yeah. All right. Take a seat down there. Hello. Good to see you. You've just joined us at the perfect time. I've been talking about what a slut Mitch Turi was on the weekend. Move on.

Yeah. What do you mean? What were you doing? He flew to Melbourne and sowed his wild oats. Oh my gosh. No, we all do that though. That's a gay rite of passage. Thank you. See, I need you on the show. It's part of life. I had to do No, we all do that though. That's a gay rite of passage. I need you on the

show. It's part of life. I had to do it. I've done that before. Went through like, um, not even a breakup. Sorry. I was like, not even really in a relationship with the person, but it was quite tough. I flew straight down to Melbourne for two days and just like fucked a guy. Yes. Yes. And then, um, he had to go to work. and so then i fucked someone else and it was amazing oh my god i'm missing out on the melbourne slutty weekend and i'm not even kidding the sex was so good that i was like i'm moving to melbourne oh my god oh you should see my domain and realestate.com.au it's like a factory restored um hotels in abranswick to buy. I want one bad. And it's so, like Melbourne's so much cheaper as well. So much cheaper.

Yeah. And the boys are gorgeous. I know. I feel like I'm a Melbourne 10 but a Sydney 3. I felt that too. I felt like I could take on the world in Melbourne. Totally. In Sydney I'm like everything's going on and it's all just too much.

And in Melbourne I'm like I actually am an entrepreneur. People are attracted to me. This is bizarre. I thought that there was a little bit more open-mindedness to femme people like me in Melbourne. Oh, I agree. Yeah, whereas Sydney is very like mask for mask, you know. Where do I fit into that equation?

No, true. Yeah. Unfortunately not. Anyway, we should move on. We've got to take a phone call, don't we? Yeah. Shall we do an Is It Just You? Yeah.

You're listening to Is It Just Me? Got something on your mind? Hit up at coupleofmitches on Instagram to get yourself on the show. Okay. If you want a prize, you can quite easily DM us with an Is It Just You. It's an Is It Just Me of your own. If you're featured on the show, DM Pricekeeper Jenna, and we'll give you a prize today.

We go to Ballarat because we've got Alex. Hello, Alex. Hi, Alex. Hi, boys. Oh, you've got All Right Hey here as well. Hi, doll. Oh, hello. How are you?

Good. How are you? I'm good, thanks. Imagine if we didn't tell her and we said Jenna's here. I know. Jenna's just a bit sick this way. So what's going on? Why do I know Ballarat?

Were there like murders there or there was a horrific bomb or something? Ballarat, we are famously the place where George Powell was. Moving right along. Yeah, I'm glad I brought that up. We also have Severn Hill. If you're a Ballarat girl, do you listen to a friend of the show, Lara Jean Marshall from the Saddle Club? Do you listen to her Power FM breakfast show?

I have tuned in a couple of times, but it's on very early and I'm not really a morning person. Is it dreadful? Is it dreadful? No, it's all right. Yeah, good. All right, we'll count you in and then Bradley will tee you up and hit us with your idiom, okay?

Okay. Is it just me or? Are Ben Platt and Rachel Berry the same person? Oh, this is so gay. Rachel Berry from Glee. Who's Ben Platt again? Ben Platt is the guy who wrote Dear Evan Hansen. He's Evan Hansen.

He's also like just gay. Fuck, that's niche, babes. I've got to say. Well, look, so I know that Rachel Berry is a character and Ben Platt is like a person. Yeah. But look, they both always want the starring role, sometimes to the show's detriment, case in point,

Dear Evan Hansen. Oh, so is he also in Dear Evan Hansen? Yes, he played Evan Hansen. He's Evan. Right. He's 30. He's like in his 30s. And Evan Hansen.

And he's playing a 17-year-old boy. Yeah, right. I've seen Dear Evan Hansen. Listen to the soundtrack. That's where I've seen that name before. Ben Platt. Gotcha. I mean, this is so right.

You really need a lot of context to get your head around this one. Rachel Berry is, what's her name in real life? The suck-up bitch, Lea Michele. Lea Michele. Lea Michele. The one that can't read. Yes, yes, allegedly. We don't want to get a lawsuit, Alex.

Sorry, I know she listens to this podcast. She's a fan. I reckon she is because remember how I said, talking about that whole rumour that she's illiterate and can't read and she just didn't acknowledge it. We went to town on that, yeah. Remember I said, babes, have a laugh. It'll actually go off if you post something on TikTok and you're in on the joke.

Like she makes fun of herself for not being able to read and eventually she did. So she obviously heard this podcast and I influenced her. I want a dumb rumor to be started about me. Like I'd love people to say like Mitch Cherry doesn't have an asshole. Like something really, you know what I mean? Like something so dumb. You can arrange that. No, no, not that.

We just won't put that in the show and let's just start that yeah would you like me to start one and put it on the facebook group and see if i can get it going the three people will love talking about it so what um what do you what would you guys like to have spoken about you would you guys like rumors spread about you i'd just like to not hear already going around what's the rumors about all right hey uh there's so many rumours at the moment Which we might get into a little bit later in the show Oh really? There's a few I've had to clear up this week alone

Really? With the launch of the new podcast There's been a lot of gossip online Oh my god I think I know what you're talking about Oh like feuds? Yeah like big show doll It's a big show Of course it is

We'll talk about it later Yeah great we'll get to it Also Mitch I'm going to start the rumour That you wear a lace front wig. If I was wearing a wig, wouldn't I have a better hairline? I don't think lace fronts go that far back. Now that I think about it, Mitch, yours looks like one of those ones that you blew on. No, no, no.

Yes, it does. One of those TikTok store ones. Yes. No, it's not real. You want to pull it? It's real. It's done touchy. No, I don't. You don't have an asshole, so I wouldn't be getting in anyway. it's not real. You want to pull it? It's real. Don't touch it. No, I don't.

You don't have an arsehole, so I wouldn't be getting in anyway. That's all right. All right. Hay doesn't have a belly button. That one about me. I've got FOMO now. No, I think it's funner if you do two belly buttons, not one. No, actually, Mitch, a more believable rumour would actually be you having two arseholes

because your arsehole actually has a bridge across it. Like, it didn't fully open. It opened in two parts. So it's one asshole, but there's a bridge of skin. But it gives the illusion. Can you leave fucking Maya Ballarat? What are you doing, Alex? She's picking up a click and collect order.

It's very loud. Oh, no, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to get some things done. It's a Friday at school. Oh, look, we'll let you go, Talyn. You're a busy woman. I'm so sorry to get some things done. It's a Friday at school. Oh, look, we'll let you go, darling. You're a busy woman. I'm so sorry. We hate to keep you, Alex.

Sorry on your number one podcast. I'm quite enjoying it. I'm on the walk. So make sure you send Jenna a DM at couple of Mitch's. Claim your prize. Oh, wonderful. No worries. Thanks for listening to the show, Alex.

We really appreciate it. You can get in touch. Send us a text to Mitch. Do you know that off by heart these days? The new phone number, if you want to send show, Alex, we really appreciate it. I mean, you can get in touch. Send us a text too, Mitch. Do you know that off by heart these days? The new phone number, if you want to send us a text, 0422 948 202. Lovely. Get in touch.

Anyway, sorry. We need to welcome our guests properly. All right, hi. Thanks for stepping in. Did you have any trouble getting in? It's so good to be here. No, it was actually really easy and I didn't even need to see the girl at reception because I actually just parked on the street,

which this is unheard of in Sydney, but you've actually got like a street or two away unmeeted parking really on the street oh wow and I'm like hello like this is unheard of everywhere you get charged for parking or something you know one hour or 15 minutes or whatever anyway I had to double check two or three times I even got out google maps and was like has the sign fallen down like I'm just checking. Because apparently I'm unmuted, so I can stay all night. It was very easy to find. Your

instructions were great. Thank you for that. I copy and pasted it from my Uber app. I was going to say, when I ordered food for the first time, he, Mitch, is like, hold on, let me copy and paste the instructions. It is a seven point manual as to how to get here. People get lost easily. And also, I think I did a pretty good time, right? Yeah, I wasn't keeping an eye on the time.

How long did that take? What time did I call you? Like 15? Yeah, I checked as I was walking in and it was like just over 20 minutes, I think. Were you doing the speed limit? I was doing the speed limit. And you know what? I only ran into one complication, which was a man, you know,

how the traffic light's wanting to wash your window. And I was so flustered by all of this that I didn't understand. And so, anyway, he came up to my window and he put a thumbs up. And I just in my brain thought that thumbs up meant like all good. And I'm like, yeah, all good. So I've put then a thumbs up as well and gone, yeah, all good. And he started doing the bloody window. He's done the bloody window because the thumbs up means yes, of course.

And then the pump bottle comes out and it's full of the soap. Honestly, he squirted that on. Did he want coins? Yes. And I have nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing in the car because I just got, well, I just got a new car. So I had literally nothing in it. And also who keeps coins anyway?

Well, yeah, that as well. And so I had literally nothing. And then I'm like like went to beat the horn because he can't see me because he's washing my window and then i went to beat the horn and then i was like is that too rude but i've got to get him to stop because now he's doing the job and i'm like and i had to wind down my window and go excuse me i just meant no i'm all good sorry i don't have any money and then anyway the light he's like i know the feeling mate yeah they're gone yeah fucking asshole and then the light went green and i just you know sped off so anyway he's probably written down my number plate and he's coming for me but he probably you know i'll have two dollars i know iconic isn't it i know it's great to have you here on the week of the launch of your new

podcast i know i'm very excited and thank you for having me and thank you for letting me literally come over like a leaf just to promo the new podcast high scrollers high scrollers i mean is it fair to say that it's similar ish to trash alley it's like stuff you've seen online celebrity bullshit you know similar vibe but different vibe yeah so this is what i was talking about earlier about the rumors and what i had to like clear up and things like that. Yeah, I love this. People have started writing in Facebook groups. I've actually had to jump in the comments this week on one post. Oh, no.

Some of them I just let them go because whatever. A lot of people screenshot them to me because they're like, you know, we're looking out for you. Yeah, me too. That's how I see them. What's this group though? What's this group? So, this one was in the Ospoken podcast group which is like three girls who report on influences all the time what were they saying so they were basically saying that it's my fault that trash

alley ended because um this new podcast was in the works already with britney and that yes with britney that i had um that i had just pretended that Spotify had cancelled us or whatever you want to say. I don't know. It was very vague. And then people were jumping in the comments and they were hypothesising. And then after I commented,

everyone started deleting their comments because they were all wrong. So what did you say? Hi, guys. So I was like, hi, it's all right. Hey here. I just want to clarify that Trash Alley was 100% Spotify's decision to stop doing Trash Alley.

And it wasn't just Trash Alley. They got rid of like fucking, I mean, you'd need more than two hands to count the amount of podcasts they dropped. And so it wasn't just Trash Alley. And I loved working with Spotify. Like they were great. No shade to them whatsoever. And also no shade to Outspoken and how they run their podcast. I get it like whatever but um i was like spotify it was totally spotify's um decision and then like literally like a month to six weeks later is kind of when i found out about this new podcast

i didn't say all of this in the post but but also just for the listeners, like what do you call them again? Idgits. Oh, idiots. Oh, idiots. Sorry, I always think it's idgits. That kind of works. It's just what my nan has in her fucking timber in the beams in her ceiling and she can't get rid of them and she's very upset about it.

No, idiots. Okay, the idiots. I like idgits though. Yeah, idgits is funny because it's like idgum. Idgits. Imagine me being like, yeah, I fucked an idgit on the weekend the weekend i mean that's very close to oompa loompa territory um but so for the idiots this is what happened um basically britney was actually the only one contacted from nova to begin with your new co-host and yeah yeah yeah and thanks for giving all the context i'm out of i'm a bit

rusty i'm out of the loop we've got you, of course, they are the podcast company that are facilitating. Yes. Which are also our rivals. So this is a bit on the nasty ribbon here, darling. You shouldn't be doing this at all. That shows we love you. Well, yeah, it's a Nova original podcast. And the word original means, sorry, too much content.

No, but I do want to say, though, Mitch, it's funny you say that. Like, people don't realise that Trash Alley being a Spotify original podcast means that Trash Alley was a spotify podcast it wasn't our it wasn't ours it wasn't mitchell's it wasn't mine yeah we don't own it and so we can't just keep doing trash alley yeah um because they own the intellectual property and so a lot of people were very upset that trash alley ended and there's nothing that i could have done or tim could have done or mitchell could have done or anyone yeah like it's like not yours yeah it's it's spotify so i can't use any of the names or continue any of the kind of any of that so again with nova like if nova ever decides that that they

don't want to do the podcast anymore we won't be able to continue it because it's actually their intellectual property and so that's like one big we own our podcast yeah yeah yeah no but we're richard branson's podcasting world us so basically um nova went to britney my new co-host and said hey we want to do a podcast and they said who would you like to do the podcast with and she came straight to me said do you want to do a podcast with me i actually was already in the process of starting a different podcast altogether which was going to be my own. She came to me. I was like, yes. I was very conscious that it was the same concept as Trash Alley or a very similar one, but it works. We know it works.

We know people loved it. So I was like, of course I'm going to do this as well. So it sounds like it kind of worked out perfectly. Trash Alley came to an end and then what, give it a month or two and boom, you've got a new one. It just kind of fell in your lap. Yes. That's fucking ideal.

I love that. And also you're friends with Brittany. You've been friends for how long? Over over 10 years how do you know each other um so we started so we met when i was working as a santa photographer in a westfield in the middle of west did you have a little elf outfit on uh no we didn't we just had like red westfield shirt of course can i do the annoying context thing about exactly who britney is people might not have made the connection but but like Brittany Lee, bloody saunders, one of the OG YouTubers. A lot of people know who she is.

Yeah. She runs Fate the Label. Runs Fate the Label. Big CEO. You've probably seen her on the social. She's always going viral with her like warehouse videos. Yeah, she's cool. It's all happening.

And she's been around for bloody donkey's years. And so, yeah, we met when I was a Santa photographer. I walked into a makeup store to buy my sister some makeup for Christmas. She was there. Now the details are a bit fuzzy on like whether we like, whether I knew her already or like recognized her or if we'd met prior, because she said like, you look so familiar. Like, do we know each other? And I was like, I don't know, but you look familiar as well. And anyway, we hit it off. And like I don't know but you look familiar as well and anyway we hit it off and then I don't know how it happened but like a few months later or like during the time that I was working we'd bumped into each other you know in the food court and then she'd walk past me

doing Santa photography and I'd said hello and then was she not making YouTube stuff at this point I don't think so okay because this was 2013 so I don't know when she started but that's when I had the job and so yeah then um I then, I mean, she could have been. But anyway, then we added each other on Facebook and the rest is history. Love that. Added each other on Facebook. Yeah. Remember when that was the go-to and you made a new friend with someone?

Oh, we're Facebook friends. Someone fucking poked me the other day and I said, fuck you. That's still a thing. Can you still do that? They poked me. I love that. Can you still play Farmville? Someone on a plane was playing Zombies vs. Plants the other day.

Remember that game? I don't even know what that is. Oh, that's a real throwback. Sorry, if you know, you know. You'll love that reference. Yeah, but that's cute. So, episode one, well, by the time this comes out, there'll be a second episode. Not quite, I don't think.

Is this coming out this Sunday? Yeah, when do your new episodes drop? Tuesdays. There you go. Tuesday mornings. Perfect for our legit listen to this. Monday, is it just me? Tuesday, high scrollers.

We love a routine. And look, if you have been missing Trash Alley, like come on over because the response that we've gotten has actually been really amazing. I was obviously very nervous about this because I knew that people were going to compare this to Trash Alley and I felt like I needed to start our first episode of High Scrollers with,

it's dead. Let it die. Let it be dead. Rest in peace. Like this is a new venture. You can't compare things. It's done. You know, it's over.

And so. I listened to the first episode and it's like, it's not too similar where it's like, oh, it's basically the same thing. It's like, it's got its own fun energy. I actually, it was a good vibe. I liked liked it i did think the same that it ended up being very different anyway but i also learned a lot on that episode can i just say really like i've never heard of a genus oh yeah you know when you wear a pair of jeans which isn't often darling but yes and you sit down and it creates that like bunch in your crotch. That has a name. It's called a genus.

A gene penis. I've got one right now kind of look. Oh my God, I'm looking at your genus as we speak. I remember being really self-conscious about the genus when I was a young teenager, like 13 or 14, because that was the age where like sitting on the back of the bus, you could crack a stiffy at any point. And so I was like, I hope people don't think I've actually got one. And you know what?

I actually cracked my first stiffy on a bus, on the school bus in like year five. And the boy that I like had a big crush on was sitting in the seat behind me and I was just like staring at him and thinking about him. And then I cracked a stiffy and I was like, what is this? No way. Yeah. Oh, so it actually took being aroused because, oh i was a young teenager i was clearly horny because just anything like on the bus just the vibration i'm like i'll fuck again well you look out the window and get

one crack at the park's dish and you'd be barred am i alone here because like when you're a young teenager there's no rhyme or reason no i don't remember i used to play water polo surrounded by men 95 nude in budgie smugglers right and it was horny and i had to hide them constantly because you're in speedo and it was like heaven yeah you can't really hide that you can't hide them in but you can't flip it up into the waistband because you just get about one inch of cock and a little head looks like a little mario mushroom that makes you big inside i feel like i want to blow your minds for a second okay and i don't know how we're getting here but i obviously have a lot of girlfriends and one thing that the girls have taught me is that for girls or people who have

a vulva uh riding the arm of a lounge as a child is like a common experience because like the arm because dry humping the dry humping the edge of the house just putting one leg over each and just kind of rocking back and forth and apparently like the like, the first time they do it, they go, oh, that feels good. And then it becomes like, no one's home, I'm fucking the lounge, you know. No way. Yeah. It literally hits the cliff.

Yeah. Fucking hell. I remember my two sisters loved Ikea growing up. And they were riding their fucking flat packs into the night. What did I used to do as a boy? I remember I didn't work out how to masturbate, but I actually, it was like a whack-a-mole at a time zone. You know the little Minions games where the Minions pop up

and you hit them with the whacker? I didn't, like, grab and move. I would whack. Same! Really? With a whacker. Same. Yeah, because I don't think my brain understood the concept

that it was meant to be pumping in an orifice. No, yeah. Yeah, no, it takes you a while to figure that out. I would just flap and hit. I'd sometimes just hit it against things too. Me too. Me too. I'd love that.

That's crazy. It's not funny. You know what's funny? The first thing I ever masturbated to, I don't think I've ever told the story, was an app on my iPod Touch. I had an iPod Touch. And I was so scared of my parents finding something on my iPod Touch. So what I would do is I would, I didn't even download the app.

I would search in the app store, Brazilian boys, and it was a calendar and it was just beautiful Brazilian men for every month of the year. And they're in Speedo. And I didn't download the app because they'd see it. I would jerk off to the preview photos. Oh my God, in the app store? Yeah. And they would never, they would never, they would never change them.

Wait, so how old were you at that point? Oh God, I would have been in year seven. And so you're telling me that you were such a late bloomer in coming out as gay. But surely you would have realised. Oh, no. I totally thought I was straight. No, no, no. I just thought that was a phase.

Really? It was a phase, yeah. Well, the best thing that my parents ever did for me was get me a bunk bed with office storage underneath because there was like the bunk bed and then underneath you pulled out the desk. But then that meant that there was like a little bed and then underneath you pulled out the desk but then that meant that there was like a little alcove underneath the bed yeah that you could kind of like a crawl space you'd go under and so one time i was at the doctors and i was waiting at the doctors and i waited in the foyer while my mom and sister went in because i could play with

the toys but then i got into the magazines and i saw a photo of remember blair from big brother season one he was like a runner-up yeah I thought he was gorgeous oh my god so hot well Nathan from High Five was but then Blair was like yeah later on he was too pleased to be there Nathan from which is my words of affirmation you know what I mean like happy to be here we're on yeah um so yeah anyway I ripped out this picture of blair in the doctor's surgery put it in my pocket took it home blue tacked it underneath my um bed and so i could crawl in there and then like you know go to town go to town on blair wow

that's incredible mitchell what was you did you jerk off to i don't remember because we had shit internet in bogan gates i couldn't watch porn or anything. I think I just used my imagination, to be honest. That is so wild. It's old school, like a pilgrim. I know. And I actually was a bit of a late bloomer in terms of, I reckon I was 17 when I realised that it was men that I was interested in. Oh, no, I realised at, like, 13.

I knew, but I suppressed it deeply. No, I knew at two years old. I knew watching Nathan from High Five. Yeah, right, okay. You're kidding. Like, I knew. But what's weird is i knew it wasn't right but also what's weird is i didn't have anyone in my life that wasn't

supportive of it like yeah so i didn't know why i knew but i just knew how was your coming out your parents fine with it yeah yeah like mum was a bit like weird about it because she just i think like panicked a little bit like oh my god my son's gonna get bashed and end up in a gutter and yeah it's gonna be hate-crimed and whatever blah blah like she really i was like you just need to calm down like i'm the same person like you just i'm gonna be exactly the same and like i think i changed my um thing on myspace to like preference male oh interested in men and shit yeah interested in men and she like was like get that off the. You don't know what's going on, blah, blah. My dad didn't even have a clue.

My dad was like, oh, really? All right then. Really? He's like, I never would have known. You played soccer for so many years. I'm like, yeah, why do you think I played soccer, darling? Because summer camp was off the fucking charts. You can chat up the riff, that's why.

I was picking flowers as the goalkeeper sometimes. Oh, my God. Making flower crowns. I was the goalkeeper too. Are you serious? Because I remember the soccer coach asked my parents to stop bringing me because during the games I'd just wander around the field and pick up leaves and shit and, like, twirl them around.

Yeah. Oh, my God. You did the same thing, picking flowers. They either put me in goalkeeper or I was, like, right defence because I had such a big boot on me. So the ball would come down and I just whack it back up the other end. But we had like a really good team. So I hardly ever had to touch the ball anyway.

So I genuinely was like picking flowers and making flowers. Make it a daisy chain. So sweet. Gorgeous. So sweet. We've had you on now. Unfortunately, we do have a podcast curse on this show. Every guest that we've ever had.

And I just have to tell you, it's all fully transparent. Every guest that we've ever had on this show to promote their podcast, the podcast subsequently gets cancelled. What do you mean? So we've got a bit of an idgum curse, but it's mostly if we do a crossover episode.

So like if we did an episode where you and Brittany were here and then you had us on your podcast and we released it at the same week and it was like, go listen to their podcast, part one, part two vibe. If we ever do anything like that,

the other person's podcast can end within a fortnight. It's happened four times. What? I'm not even joking. I think it's happened, yeah, maybe four or at least three. Three or four. Will you tell me who it is? Yeah, so we killed Odea. We collaborated with them and they died like a month later.

We killed One Trick Tony, which was Tony Lodge's first podcast. Correct. That she did solo and we did a crossover with her. She's back with a vengeance, mind you. I was going to say, did she end that and then was there some time before Tony and Ryan? Yeah, yeah. There was like maybe even a year between or at least a solid few months. And so we killed One Trick Tony and then we killed Party Tricks,

which was Talisha and Oscar. They literally, within the fortnight after we did our crossover, they stopped making their podcast. And now I think we may have killed Judge Gina, but we're just not sure yet. Really? Oh, no. Well, she wasn't very nice to us.

But I think you're safe because we didn't do the crossover thing. Yeah, we called you and it was all last minute. Although we had you on to promote Trash Alley when it launched, so maybe eventually the curse struck. But you know what, that's fine because, I mean, not that I'm looking forward to the future or anything, but, like, if it does, at least I'm prepared. I think I'm really traumatised from Trash Alley ending and I went through a lot of trauma with that, like, just that whole experience.

I was actually so glad that i'd left the podcast at that point because if the rug had been pulled out from under my feet the way it was when trash alley ended you didn't even get to say goodbye it was like we're back next year bigger than better than ever trash bags and then just no more episodes i would have had the biggest fucking tantrum if that happened to me so it's a good thing i wasn't there i wouldn't have handled it i think i was just so exhausted because, like, in all honesty, like, this year, 2023, has just been a really shit year for me. Like, it's been, I've hidden a lot from online, but, like, it's been a really traumatic year

with a lot of things going on for me. And I'm, like, once they said it wasn't happening, it was kind of, like, by that point. Because we didn't, I found out, other people think that we found out months beforehand. I found out about four to five days before I announced it. Because I was like, I need to get this out now. Because people have been waiting. And when was that again? Like, what time of the year?

I think maybe May, maybe April. So, people were just like, for the first four months of the year going, where's the new episode? When are they coming back? Yeah. And the thing was, like, I was so traumatizedized by that because i had put in so much blood sweat and tears i mean i like you know that i was like hoping that trash alley was going to be like just the biggest and best it could have ever been like it's so this time what i'm saying is although i'm like obviously so excited and we hope it's going to last forever the reality is i've been

through this before, so I'm a little bit more guarded with this new podcast, High Scrollers. And look, if that does happen and they go, hey, we're not going to do it anymore, this time around I'm like going into it guarded and that I'm like protected in the fact that if that happens I know what to do. And look, I'll make another podcast. It'll be my own.

I'll own everything and we'll start from scratch and we'll do it again. I mean. But we're not manifesting this one. No, we're not manifesting that. I think we're all good. But obviously, I hope I never have to do that. And High Scrollers just, you know, we'll be doing it when we're 70. Because it's been one episode and I'm absolutely loving it.

Yeah, it just sounded like you guys were having fun. And that's all you need. It sounded like a good vibe to me. Yeah. And it is a good vibe. I'm very happy with the vibe. Do you reckon Brittany would want to come on here and do a crossover episode or no?

Not that I'm trying to sabotage. I think she'd have to come on by herself because now that you've said the crossover. It'll look like deliberate sabotage. Get her on as a solo host. We'll get her on. Are there any podcasts you hate that you want us to collab with so we can bring them down?

Not yet, but we'll get her on. Are there any podcasts you hate that you want us to collab with so we can bring them down? Not yet, but we'll see who takes over number one spot next. Is it just me? Listening on Spotify, don't forget to leave a five-star rating. All right, now while we've got you here, all right, hey, I did listen to episode one of High Scrollers. Yes. And like I said before, I learnt a lot that episode. One of them was a new TikTok trend that's been doing the rounds in the last month or so.

And I'm going to get you to talk to us about it. You can tell the story because you're well-researched for your own podcast. So, we're doing a TikTok school today. Oh, my God. Take it away. What do we need to know? Okay. So, there's a new trend on TikTok and there's been this warning issued.

Oh, wow. Because it's actually quite dangerous. And the trend is that you, that our parents will get their toddlers, two or three years old, to do some pretend baking with them. Adorable. And instead of cracking the egg, you know, on the counter or on the bowl bowl they crack the egg on the toddler's head i love it and then see the reaction and most of them you know get upset or cry or whatever or they're just unfazed yeah it's like they've just had an egg cracked in the head and they're just like or some laugh i've seen it and

they giggle because they don't know what else to do they get shocked and so the anyway experts have come out and said this is really bad and you shouldn't be doing this. It also sounds bad on paper, just smacking fucking eggs on your kid's face. Let's take a listen. This is some of the TikToks that have been going around. I've been hit by an egg. I've been egged before. Have you?

Yeah, and it sort of just kind of shocks you. Like in the bodice, never in the head. It's just a bit weird to do it to a child when they don't expect it. Because what are all the experts saying again? It's like, oh, they'll develop trust issues. So not only is it, you know, you shouldn't be hitting it on the head in the first place, obviously there's other issues like there's a bit of trauma there,

you know, and it can lead to things later in life and upset them you know and they'll never be able to eat eggs maybe of course of course they'll never be a baker my mum used to hit me with a wooden spoon and i make a great ragu so i don't believe it yeah i make a great bolognese did you really get the wooden spoon right on the ass cheek that's crazy my mum always threatened the wooden spoon and would pull it out but never hit me oh no yeah yeah i got it i think it's actually snapped once that's true wow my parents are now in federal prison but this is a good case study you know so now do you like being spanked or do you despise it no i like a bit of pain play yeah i'm down for it yeah a bit of nipple biting yeah i'm down for it interesting so i mean maybe these children are

going to grow up to you know having some weird egg fetish you know but obviously there's been a dramatic reaction saying why the fuck are people smashing eggs on their kids foreheads which is valid because you might psychologically fuck them up i understand however there is part of me that also thinks toughen up surely an egg to the forehead can't actually hurt that much kenneth and i was listening to high scholars and it's interesting we must fucking still share a brain all right hey because i was thinking surely he's going to go to the nova kitchen and pull out an egg and smack it on britney's head to test the theory yeah that kate richie was going to have boiled for her breakfast in the morning for her brekkie show but that never came about so i thought well

now that you're here we're doing it on our own. Fantastic. Instead, I've got some eggs. We've got a dozen. We've got the eggs. I just want to test if an egg to the forehead is enough to actually make a child cry or are they just being little bitches? All right, who's drawing the short straw?

I think you should hit it against either Matt or I. You reckon? Not me. I've got to go out after this. Sorry. I'm the guest in the house. Do you want it on your head? Well, actually, yeah, fuck it.

I don't mind. I just want to know. Does it even hurt? I'll hit it on your head then. Okay. Well, I brought mine. You direct. Okay.

I was going to say we'll take turns because, you know, you might have more of a gentle. Actually, can I get a towel or something? Yeah, you better because it'll go all over the lounge. My skincare routine is very extensive. I'm going to wipe off some of my salicylic acid that I put on this morning. Oh, they're very cold, Mitchell. And for our international listeners, an egg is...

Mitchell's gone into the bathroom where he's got the ASOP. Just as he does. Courtesy of yours truly. Come on. Got a towel. Oh, we're putting towels down. God, it's been a while since I've had to put a towel down, Joel. We just make a mess these days.

Yuck. What? No, I'm fully with you. What happens to the mess? You just add to it. It's like a hoarder's house. Oh, Christ, he's putting a shawl on. All right, it looks like I'm getting a haircut.

All right. I'm going to. Okay, here we go. So, Mitch, I'm going to just shuffle this way a little bit because I feel like you've got quite a violent throw on you I'm going to hold the bucket under my head So that the egg remnants can sort of drip in there Yeah, alright

And am I going to Do I just knock it on your forehead? Yeah, but you've got to catch me off guard when I least expect it So I think if we just have a conversation Okay There's no three, two, one That's how they get the kids right The kids aren't expecting it.

Tell us what you're cooking. Maybe talk about what you're cooking. Well, I like to make a little omelette for breakfast when I cook my eggs. I whisk two together. There's an everything eggs seasoning, which is just gorgeous. Sprinkle a bit of... Alright, talk

us through it. Michelle, how are you feeling? How did you feel? Nah, fuck that, Trent. I feel violated. You look like my Melbourne hookup. Yeah, I was going to say, you look violated. In fact, you look like my bed when we don't put a towel down. Matt's koala.

Oh, no, not the whites. Oh, the whites is dribbling down his eye. Mitch, look at me for a second. It's gone a bit red, actually. Oh, it's about to go on my eye. Shit, shit, shit. Get it out, not the whites. Oh, the whites is dribbling down his eye. Mitch, look at me for a second. It's gone a bit red, actually. Oh, it's about to go on my eye. Shit, shit, shit. Get it out. Get it out.

Yeah, by the way, that was some real fucking whack from you. Thanks for that. I don't think I need to do one. That's my water polo arm. Yeah. I've got it all over my head. I've made a mess of myself. It's actually just the shock.

Because you actually caught me off guard. Even though I knew it was coming, I still didn't expect it. It was very violent. It was. I wouldn't say that it hurt. There was a little bit of a sting there. Can I just say, if this has upset you, I imagine I can get where the experts are coming from.

That would shock a baby. Yeah. Yeah, these are fully toddlers and their parents are whacking them with eggs. It's a very weird trend to have even come about. Do you want to do me or no? I don't think. It sounds like you're asking for it. No, I'm all right.

I don't mind. I don't need to. The point's been made. Are you sure you don't want one? Yeah, fine. Yeah, but you've got a fucking brain illness. Should I really be whacking shit? I do, yeah.

My neurologist won't be impressed. It'll be right. All right, pass me the towel. Oh, no. And don't get me when I'm going to go out after this. But I think you should close your eyes so that you really don't know when it's coming. Yeah. Here we go.

Okay. We're on. So here I am. So what I'm doing is I've actually... Oh! Mitchell. No, that was really full on. Mitchell.

That was ridiculous. Oh, well, I caught you off guard, didn't I? No, I actually fully expected that. Okay, so tell us how you're feeling. That's gone in my hair. I need you to tell us how you're feeling. I feel like I'm at schoolies on Plantation Island and I've just been bukkake'd in a wood hut.

Well, you better do me then. I actually feel really violated. It's very degrading, isn't it? You threw that at my head. And you actually got it so much worse than Mitchell. Mitchell had like a little bit. You've got a full egg to the face. You look like you're crying yolk.

Move on. Wrap the segment. I think we should wrap the show after that. What are you chucking a tantrum? We've got to wrap the show because now I've got to pop to Woolies and need more eggs for breakfast. Fucking hell. Oh, true.

In this current climate, Mitchell, this cost of living situation, just wasting eggs over here. Say what you want about abusing children, but wasting eggs is the biggest crime. I'm glad you guys are having fucking fun. Disgusting. Oh, you need to wipe your forehead. And your cheek.

There we go. And your ear. All right, we should get out of here, shouldn't we? You tidy yourself up. Well, it's been lovely. It's been a pleasure. Thank you so much for having me and letting me promo my brand new podcast, High Scrollers, available wherever you get your podcasts.

There'll be a link in the show notes, won't there? Oh, I guess there is now. You've said it. Fuck. Remind me later to pop that link in there. And once we get up and running and we actually probably have some guests on, you know, it's a bit naff to have it on week two, doll, but let us get through ten or so

episodes and then we'll have an Is It Just Me crossover. Oh, we love it. But we'll have to do it in a creative way where we don't actually cross over because we don't want the curse. No, I won't curse you, but any time if you want to have us on, we're ready. We just won't curse. I don't know if we'll drop everything and show up within 20 minutes like you have. We appreciate that.

All right. See you guys. Thank you for listening. Five stars on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify if you're still listening. This has put me in a shocker mood. And if you're listening on Spotify, tap that notification bell so you never miss an episode. Triggered. It's like riding a bike, isn't it?

I remember. All right. We'll see you guys in a week. Goodbye. Catch you soon, idiot. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches.

Make sure you hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment on the end. We pretend the show's done, but it isn't. Mitchell, there is yolk on the other side of the fucking room. That's how hard you threw that egg. Look. Sorry, was I a bit rough with you? I think so, Matt.

Do you think that was a bit uncalled for? It was rough, but, like, I feel like it was warranted for the show. Honestly. Well, what, I had it coming, did I? No, as in I feel like you hit it probably how hard a toddler would be getting it on Mitchell. I didn't mean to do it that much. I feel like Mitchell's egg crack on your forehead was actually an egg crack. Yeah.

Because, you know, as you said, the yolk didn't even break for Mitchell. Yours was very neat. Like, there wasn't egg everywhere after you smashed one on me. And it all just fell delicately into the bowl in front of me, whereas went everywhere it's on our neon sign like it's actually making my skin tighten like it's made my skin people use egg masks and stuff for anti-aging yeah all right yeah maybe i'll be thanking you in a week because isn't it just an embryo it's like putting babies on little white fluffy bit yes that is the umbilical cord. No, the little white fluffy bit. That's the umbilical cord, apparently.

I did not know that. I saw that on TikTok the other day. There you go. The things you know. And anything you wanted to bring up? I mean, this is ADD brief. So the first thing I need to bring up is that you've brought Mitchell ASOP. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Let's get on to that because I could talk about that all day. Let me discuss with you. I, for Mitchell, one of my dearest, closest friends, for his birthday went, I'm going to, I'll splurge. I'll buy him an Aesop gift. Aesop. I'll buy him fast fashion.

I'll buy him Aesop, a gift pack. So I got him the body wash, geranium leaf, gorgeous, and then the matching body exfoliant, which is gorgeous. It's so nice. And he goes, what is this? Okay, it wasn't like that. It's just palmolive. It was more just you expected more of a reaction because.

I did. I paused and waited for the applause in the house. But the thing is that I'm not a skincare nerd like you, so I didn't realise the magnitude of the gift. Buying Aesop for someone is apparently very fucking generous. And by the way, for what it's worth, I love it. I've been using it. The Aesop shit. And it lasts fucking generous. And by the way, for what it's worth, I love it. I've been using it. The Aesop shit.

And it lasts all day. It actually leaves your body smelling good all day. It's so nice. And so you wanted to bring that up. Well, because I've got like a little hack for you. So for when it runs out, right? Because I went to a housewarming party for one of my friends, right? And she had the Aesop in the bathroom and I've used the Aesop.

I've washed my hands. And I've gone, jeez, that smells delicious. That's just, that sold me on Aesop actually. That is just gorgeous. Really? No, seriously. It's gorgeous. I've come out of the bathroom.

I'm going, everyone smell my hands. Oh, the Aesop. It's just got, have a smell of this, you know, waltzing around talking about how good it is. So she told me that once the Aesop runs out, Have a smell of this, you know, waltzing around talking about how good it is. So she told me that once the Aesop runs out, she just fills it up with the home brand, the real fancy looking home brand one that's like, you know, sandalwood.

I think I've got that too. Yeah, right? So you just put that in the Aesop and then it just makes people think that it's actually Aesop because I was convinced that I needed to run out and get Aesop. And she was like, no, it's literally, it was like a citrus and sandalwood one from coal. In the Aesop bottle and they just, oh my God. You just think it's Aesop. Yeah, but it's got to be one of those fancy ones. It can't be like a palm oil with honey and milk.

No, it was like a Dettol one, I think. My dad does that where he gets like a really expensive bottle of wine, empty. No. He just keeps the bottle. No, no, no. And then if he's going to dinner with, you know, the neighbours or something, he'll fill it up with red wine from a goon bag.

No. Literal goon. See, now that's not on. Does he just pretend to open it as he comes in the door? No, no, no. Just a wine bottle where you just screw it. There's no cork. Oh, it's a screw top.

Wow. That's actually really smart. And he'll, you know, take it to a dinner party or whatever and they're like, oh, that's a nice drop, Coombsy. That's gorgeous. Where'd you get that? And he's like, BWS. It's fucking Goon. It is smart, but I think it's a bit more

dodgy than the Aesop, isn't it? Like, it's a little bit more. Is it though? It's mind over matter because they all think it's beautiful wine, but it's fucking red wine Goon from Aldi. Do you think companies are doing this to us? Like, do you think when you fill up 98 petrol it's actually 91? I've always thought this. I don't think it's fucking red wine goon from Aldi. Do you think companies are doing this to us? Do you think when you fill up 98 petrol, it's actually 91? I've always thought this. Mitch, I don't think it's different.

I've always thought this. Every single time I go, I go, how do I know this isn't just water? Yes, yes. Me too. How do I know I'm not paying $2.68 a litre for water? I think the same thing. Well, we're very excited the podcast has launched. Congratulations. Yeah, we're very excited that the podcast has launched.

Congratulations. Yeah, thank you. They do this thing, Mitch, at the end of the episode where they compare their screen time like on their phone. What was yours again? Eight hours and... Yeah, your average daily screen time, right?

Average daily screen time. What's yours? I feel like you'd have a high screen time for sure. I'd say so because it's all for work. How do you get to it? Settings. But also in a conversation with you, sometimes you just pull out your phone and start texting.

I am on my phone. It's not good. Just search. Search screen time. Here we go. So, mine is, what was yours, Matt? Eight hours, 40 minutes. Okay. So, mine is seven hours, 34.

That's pretty high. That's pretty high. It's a bit weird because that's like most of the day, isn't it? It is. Oh, no. All activity. It's up. It's up.

That was the most alarming thing is that, for example, when we didn't actually end up keeping it in the episode, but I mentioned that Instagram was 28 hours for the week. Wow. So I've spent more than a full day of my week with the Instagram app open, which actually is sickening. And I love Instagram. And of course I had a big countdown that I had to yeah promote and everything I was working I was working but um like to think that I had spent more than a day in a week on Instagram was kind of insane and also the fact that it wasn't TikTok because I feel like I'm there's so much more to see on TikTok yeah but yeah no I actually sometimes I just don't open the TikTok app because I'm scared of how much time I'll waste because I'll end up there for hours. Like when I'm on TikTok, I can't just browse for like 20 seconds like I do on Instagram.

If I'm there, I'm usually hooked in there. I'm off TikTok. TikTok has lost its grip on me. Really? I'm slipping in. I still like it. I just know what I'm like. I'm like, if I open this app, I could lose half the day.

Oh, I used to be like that. But once the algorithm gets to know you so fucking well, I didn't enjoy it because it was giving me breakup content that was so triggering and I still get it. I can't get out of it. I've reset my algorithm. Oh, so that little hack about resetting the algorithm didn't work for you? No, I'm clearly that fucking heartbroken that it's like more breakup content.

So every time I go on, it's all it is. It's awful. So I just don't go on TikTok anymore. I keep getting these, you know know how you can put photos on TikTok and you scroll through them? I love that. I'm posting those. They're fine.

Oh, but fucking hell. I keep getting, I must have watched one after resetting the algorithm and it was like, these quotes are so deep and thought-provoking, they'll make you cry. And I was like, righto, let's give these a go. And now that's all I get when I open my feed. So I accidentally looked at one of those for too long. And it was one of those ones that, like, can you find the object or, like, find the missing, you know, what are they called when you spot the difference?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, there'll be ten of those in a slide. And obviously, I've slid through, like, ten of them on the first time. And because we've watched that same video. And now that's all that comes up is Totally. Or which one's the murderer? And it's like the guy with bruises on his hands. You've got to figure out which one.

I don't know. It's all weird. But that's what I got at the moment. I get this dumb guy with wooden balls and a vat of oil and he's just pushing them around with a wooden spoon. He's lovely. What for? For mental illness.

And is he on live? What does that do? He's live streaming? He's live all the time, yeah. And it's just because the sound of the wooden balls in the oil, it's actually quite beautiful. Yeah. But then he speaks.

I think I need to look this up. Have you heard of the drama amongst the crystal community and the online store? Can you bring up one of these oil videos? I kind of want to see that now. I'm curious. Sure, sure, sure. It's really quite cool.

But go on. And crystal community? The crystal community. Well, the crystal community are just so rude. I think Brittany, who's not the other Brittany, Brittany, very funny girl on TikTok. Oh God, I'm going to broski.

Brittany broski was talking about it, that the drama between all these online crystal sellers is insane. They're so rude to their customers because they know they're still going to make money. You go on live and it's like, all right, yellow crystal. Who wants yellow crystal? Paul's got to order.

Paul's getting a blue amethyst. Well done, Paul. And then they pack their orders live. They've got these big box of crystals. But she goes, if you listen long enough, they're just cunts to their audience. So it's like, hi, is that a blue amethyst? They're like, no, it's not a blue

amethyst. It's a yellow jade, you dumb shit, and you're blocked. But it's like they know they're making so many sales, they don't care. Oh my god. Alright, I found an oil ASMR. Are you ready? So what is it again? Okay, so it's ASMR, which is, Matt, do you know what ASMR stands for? Autonomous. Is it Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response?

Oh, fuck. Well done. I don't know if the A is autonomous. It's something like that. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I actually, it's not right. It was a screenshot.

Basically, it's meant to be relaxing, but what are they doing? It's like a vat of water, like a pot, and it's full of wooden balls, and it's oil as well. So the oil makes it really viscous and thick. Then he's got this ladle, and he's just moving it around. All right. Let's hear it. Can you show us? I don't know.

ASMR doesn't do anything for me, I'm going to be honest. Oh, it's hit and miss. Sometimes it does, but this isn't hit and miss. I can do brown noise. Brown noise is great. My AirPod mini plays brown noise on loop. I love brown noise. Brown noise was amazing for me going to sleep.

I can fall asleep in 40 fucking seconds with brown noise. Totally. But ASMR doesn't really hit the clip for me. It doesn doesn't do much you know what i'm struggling with at the moment on my hot girl walks i'm struggling with playlists i'm like where the fuck where do i go i'm doing that many walks i just i've run out of can't listen to albums anymore i've like gone through my favorites i've done miley cyrus essentials every fucking day and i can't get anything else in me yeah you're just in that dry patch where you're like, I need something new. Pie scrollers. Yeah.

Exactly. You know what? It's funny you mentioned Hot Girl Walk. Oh, yeah. Because I actually feel that the Hot Girl Walk, the, what do you, what do you. The brand. The Hot Girl Walk renaissance that has, that has occurred from Mitch Turi is actually making me want to share my hot girl walks less. Oh.

Because it's his thing. Because it's your thing. Even though it's not your thing and it's been a thing for ages, it's now become like your brand. Yes. But then I'm like, I'll go for a walk. And previous to you doing your hot girl walks, I would share my walk and be like, come, well I did.

Yeah. And now, first of all all you're walking 25 fucking kilometers a day which is just ridiculous i'm walking very far and um many you know you've started this hot girl walk hashtag and whatever and apparently coming out with merch soon which i mean kudos how exciting yes thank you um which also want to say so i was like just checking whether hot girl merch oh my god i think it is up. Well, I couldn't see your one, but I could see another store called hotgirlwalk.com, I think.

And I just wanted to flag with you that they have registered the trademark Hot Girl Walk. I know because I tried. Great. Okay. Because I just needed to – I wasn't going to bring this up on this part. I was going to bring it up on the podcast, but now we're here. But I was like, don't put that on an actual T-shirt because you can get sued.

So you can't do your merch anymore? No, we are. Just a different way. Different way. Hot Girl Walk has been trademarked. HGW hasn't. So I'm running with HGW. So the merch is very simple. I'm on my HGW. So, yeah, the merch is very simple.

It's I'm on my HGW, so is Mitch Turi on his arm. It's cute and it's simple and very basic and the people at Grey Lines have done good work. So that's coming in the week. But I know what you're saying because before you did Hot Girl Walks, I started mentioning I was drip feeding that I was doing my walking. That's right, yes. But I didn't post heaps about it because, quite frankly,

it wasn't the most interesting thing in my day. But then when you started doing the Hot girl walks and that was your thing, I was like, well, now I can't post mine because it looks like I'm copying you. That's the predicament that I'm in. And I'm so smart. Call me Christiana because I've really made walking something that everyone does every day my brand. It's so selfish.

It's so broad. It's literally the first form of exercise you do as a baby. I know. And you've just not progressed since then. I know. Well, the problem is now I'm fucking running. I run now. And I can't tell people I'm running because the brand is walking.

It's very stressful. HDR. I can't imagine you running. But I'd love to see it. I ran the whole city to surf. Oh, you did too. And you know what? That actually inspired me.

Because long story short here, like let's just cut to the chase. whole city to surf yeah oh you did too and you know what that actually inspired me because long story short here like let's just cut to the chase like i had you muted for so long and then we rekindled i don't know you were just annoying and i don't care it doesn't take much to piss me off what what earned me the unmute i can't actually remember but like you just would have been annoying about something at one what made you oh well when we kind of rekindled not that long ago because remember we just randomly out of nowhere started i mean i don't really want to like bring it up but like when you were going through your breakup i you know checked in on you yes yes yes was like joel been through a similar situation here you go this is the here's some. And we actually had like a really nice conversation. We did.

And I was like, I actually like really like Mitch Turi. And so I'm going to unmute him. But I think, no, actually I think I muted you because I was annoyed at you because a while ago you used to bully me in a sense on the podcast, but you thought it was two-sided and it never was. Oh, I remember. Oh, I did that, but that's because I thought you did it about me. Yes, but I never did. I thought it was two-sided and it never was i remember oh i did that but that's because i thought you did it about me yes but i never did i know and and i always always bag out my other co-host from trash alley thinking that he was doing the same thing about you on trash alley but he never did but also it was a bit that i did about all mitch's ex-co-hosts i did it about

all of them so i felt personally attacked i think so I, cause I remember saying to Mitch, like Mitchell, I remember saying like, does Mitch like have a problem with me? Because like, he just like always kind of like me. And I was like, nah, it's just an asshole. No, I said, no, no, it's an inside joke. And you said, but I'm not in on it. So I think I was a little bit upset about that, which is all good.

Duh, it's fine. It's all good. Water under the bridge. But I think that's why you were muted in the first place because I was like, I'm a little bit sad about this. Fuck this guy. And also he ghosted you on Tinder. Oh, and of course, of course, of course. Then we rekindled, yes.

We rekindled and now I'm like obsessed and I'm like on the edge of my seat going, where's the hot girl walk? So no, it's taken an extra week. And I thought, thank you. And it's exciting to be your friend. Yeah. Oh, that's very nice. Because you're actually nice. Thank you.

You're actually nice. Do you think the perception is that I'm a cunt? No, but I think that you come across. Sometimes might be the reason for that perception. Yeah. I think there's sometimes. You bag people out and think they're in on the joke. I think sometimes you make comments which are funny

and that's what you are, like comedian, like vibes, like yee-haw. But like I do think that you can come across like intimidating, which is fine, so do I in a way. Like I've got a resting bitch face. People call me intimidating all the time. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying like, yeah. I've never thought of myself as intimidating.

I think the size, six foot three, people tell me that physically, I'm very physically intimidating. You know, take up a lot of space in a room. Interesting. This is beautiful. I'm glad we can all get it off our chest. I know. So, yeah, Mitch, Drew and I are dating.

We could not date. My therapist tells me I can't be with someone the same as me. They're like, you need someone that knows how to control, like who knows how to, is proud of that energy. Someone that isn't going to try and compete or be jealous. So that's what they're saying. So I think we wouldn't work in that sense. We're so similar.

I look at you and see so much of myself inside of you physically and mentally. Okay. Yeah. And of course, there's no battle. I've already won. of myself inside of you physically and mentally. Okay. Yeah. And, of course, there's no battle.

I've already won. So, yeah. No, no. Yes, of course. But also, like, it is, I feel for the people who start something and then it goes to somebody else. So, in that way, because one thing that always bugged me is that everyone thought, Mitchell, that you came up with Hit The Clit.

Oh, yeah. No, I remember that. And I was like, it's my thing. Oh, did that happen on the podcast yeah we were doing trash alley i can't remember the story but yeah um we were talking about something we didn't like and you said yeah it doesn't hit the clip and then we both just went what did you just say and then i said i said to the editor no that's the out just leave that just doesn't hit the clip and don't see music yeah and was like, just leave that in. And then it called on as like a trash alley inside joke.

And then I don't know at what point along the line, maybe I said it more often than you, people thought it was my thing. Well, I think because then you took clit and applied it to everything else. Every other body part. Because then you'd make funny jokes like don't pull the wool over my clit. No skin off my clit. No skin off my clit. So the clit thing became like, you know, your thing.

But you started Hit The Clit and you had Hit The Clit merch. and no skin off my skin off my clit so the clit thing became like you know your thing but you started hit the clit and you had hit the clit merch i didn't even remember and that was with gray lines oh yeah and then people were sending me screenshots of your hit the clit merch saying how do you feel about all right hey stealing your idea and i was like babes are you a trash bag clearly not because he started that and i picked it up and absolutely ran with it. Podcasts have so much drama. And that's what I've learned in my time doing podcasts. Drama, drama, drama. People, because there's, I'll tell you right now, whatever you're thinking, if you're listening

to this and you're thinking things and you're making up rumors in your mind. Oh, totally. Like 99.9% of them are not true and nothing's going on. There's no tea. There's no drama. There's no nothing. We're not fucking. Okay. You didn't hit me though and I'm still mulling though. Okay. Oh God, are you and nothing's going on. There's no tea. There's no drama. There's no nothing. We're not fucking. Okay.

You didn't hit me though and I'm still mulling though. Okay. Oh God, are you going to spiral? No, no, no. I've already spiraled.

I'm covered in egg and I've spiraled. Ages ago. Yeah, of course. But, but yeah, look, the point of the fact of the matter is I started hit the clip and we've said that here and

now. I'll give you credit any day of the week. That was you. I will say, continue posting the walking shots though. Cause was it you who pointed this out to me? I liked it. You pointed out to me or someone else did that when I was posting my walks,

I was posting the calories and the kilojoules and, and I've cut that. I've cut that out now because I didn't realize that I was posting all that. And I don't think you post them either. I think I like what you wrote on one of your posts. Yeah. I didn't bring that up with you because I don't think it's my place to like tell anyone else whether you do or you don't or, like, whatever.

But I don't share because it can be triggering to some people or even just, like, I don't talk about calories day to day. Well, because it's fucking boring to talk about. Well, yeah, I know. But I have been in that, like, eating disorder mindset and doing diets in the past. The MyFitnessPal. That have like focused so heavily on calories that I know that when I see calories that doesn't trigger me, but I know that I get that other people can be triggered by that.

100%, yeah. So I said I cover it up and say if I include it in the screenshot. Depends on the workout because, you know, some workouts you want to get all the information in and some of them you don't care, but I just cover it up and say not important. Yes. That's what I saw. And I've stopped doing it now. But I mean, on my year of health journey, which for me is all about, um, being healthy from the inside out. Um, I was meant to do it last year. Remember I said on the podcast on Trash Alley,

I was going to do the Rebel Wilson year of health. So I set my goals at the start of the year and I've hit almost all of them. And I am actually proud of myself. I feel like I've seen you on Instagram going for swims and shit. Oh, I'm so impressed with that. I went for a swim just yesterday. It was actually amazing. I don't know where my phone is.

I was going to read out like what all my goals were and how many days I'm up to. You know, I'm vape free. Oh, yes. Hundred think good girl sorry sorry i'm 130 days since i quit vaping i have vaped in that time like oh yeah yeah had a puff of a friend's one here and there in my mind i'm like that counts yeah but me too i think that as well but then i think you know if you quit crystal meth and you had a hit like is, is it the same thing? You know what I mean? It's not. So, I'm like, it might be just as bad. So, I mean, four or five times maybe in that 130 days.

And no alcohol as well. Like, going to Fiji on holiday and, like, not drinking alcohol. Random. What's going on there? You didn't even go there on holiday. But also, like, Sky is, is like gluten free and all this stuff. So like he's on his own health journey and a vegetarian and whatnot. So it's actually great having a partner who also has dietary requirements because like

it actually makes it like, because the thing was he's whirling his intolerances in his gut. And so he wasn't allowed to have alcohol anyway while they were fixing that. So I was like, it was pretty easy not to drink while I was on holidays anyway. Oh, you're a better partner than me. I'd be like, sweet. Dezo. Yeah.

And then I've pretty much like hit all of the goals. The only one that I haven't done is stop biting my nails. Oh, I'm the fucking same. Oh, really? I'm a nail biter. And I was doing well there at the start of the year. And then, of course, trauma. There was a lot happening this year.

Can I introduce you to my friend, the fidget toy bucket under here on the coffee table, the lower shelf? Yeah, hang on. Let me have a look here. Yeah, they're good for if you're feeling fidgety. Instead of picking your nails, you just get one of these. I don't ever like. That bird's a fun one. All right.

Yeah. So Mitch got me extra fidget toys and the Aesop and then was upset that I was more excited about the fidget toys rather than the skincare. He's like, do you know how expensive this is? That was $20 from Kmart for the Aesop that I had to get a mortgage on. Now which one was the bird? The green bird. Just balance it on your ring finger.

It's so much fun. Ring finger. See, I don't know if that's really a fidget toy. That's more just like something you put in a party bag. Oh, that's so fun. Yeah, this feels like it should have come from a Christmas bonbon. Yeah. I agree with you.

Read the jug, put the hat on. Well, listen, guys, I hate to break it up. Are we going to have to go, I feel? Can you go and we keep talking? You can keep talking. I actually am going to have to go. Have you got somewhere to be, darling? I have somewhere to be, yeah.

Oh, where are you going? I've just got a dinner. Oh, fuck. Again. In Melbourne? He's being coy. I know what's happening. I'm not being coy. No, I'm just meeting someone here. Just for a drink. Again. In Melbourne? He's being coy. I know what's happening. I'm not being coy.

No, I'm just meeting someone here. Just for a drink. Relax. Where? I ain't at a bar. Where? Which one? In Cronulla.

It's where I live. That's where. Oh, actually, no. You've got to hit the road then. I actually have to. What time is it? You better go. Yeah, it's at seven.

Okay. Yeah, go now. I've got to go. All right. Oh, it's at seven. You'll be right. No, an hour drive. I'm happy to keep going if you are.

I mean, it's been quite a long episode, actually. We've probably got more than enough, but we'll chat offline. We need to discuss about the length of our episodes as well. They're blowing out. They're so long. Yeah, well, I don't see that as my fault. We just keep talking. No, but we've been discussing some options to fix it.

Yeah, I think we need to have an all-staff meeting on the podcast next week to discuss the future of the podcast. All right, we can do that. I'm in. I'll be there. Yeah, all right. I won't. No.

Well, you never know. Jenna might wag again. We might need to call you up. We might call you up, Stan. All right, well, I'm going to go, ladies. You guys really enjoyed. Matt, so good to see you. Do you want me to?

And I love that we're in our friendship era. I know. I'm not intimidating. I'm very nice. We'd love to see that. We've been through a rollercoaster of emotion with our relationship, haven't we? And now we've landed on just being friends with no benefits.

I've never disliked you, though, ever. I've never disliked you either, but I was just a little bit heartbroken when you were. On the Tinder. No, no, no. Well, that's the definition of heartbroken because I was a gorgeous boy. But more so the, like, the bit. The bit that you didn't realize wasn't a bit.

Yeah. It was a bit. It wasn't. But it didn't upset me. I just went, oh, what a fucking loser. Of course. His loss. Mute.

His loss. Well, I'm glad we've reconnected. Yeah, me too. And Mitch, edit the jokes I made about Matt at the start of the podcast. I will do. Thank you so much. Because there were many that were coming in hot now. Yeah.

All right. See you later. All right. Bye. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 3% better today. That's all. So we do. Yeah, that's Jenna's line.

You don't get it. We're a cult. It doesn't matter. Are you ending the show? Well, before you run out the door, can I run a bit of dry shampoo? You've got egg in your hand. No, I'm going to go home and fix myself. Okay, good, good.

I just wanted to let you know. Oh, it's like something about Mary. It's gone all crusty and cuddly. Yeah. Well, good luck on your date. He's going to think you just came from another date. I've got all my stuff here. Are you okay to?

Yeah, it's all right. No, we'll just wrap it up anyway. Yeah, we don't need to talk. But we will have a talk. Yeah. Like, we'll talk, but we'll talk off air. Make sure you check out High Scrollers, wherever you get your podcasts. The brand new podcast from White Hay and Brittany Lee Saunders.

Very fun. If you're fucking ending, I just stood up. Yeah, it's all right. You've got to go. You've got to go get yourself zhuzhed up. Let's end the show're fucking ending, I just stood up. Yeah, it's all right. You've got to go. You've got to go get yourself zhuzhed up. Let's end the show. I'll be here for the end. Yeah.

I've already done the 3% bit. You just need to say bye. See you, guys. See you next week. Thank you so much for sticking around for that. You're welcome. The sacrifice. All right.

We'll catch you soon, idiots. Bye-bye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app