Is It Just Me? - #16: Snapping One Off in the Shower

Episode Date: February 23, 2020

With guest host Ruby Teys from the GOIN' TROPPO podcast!Check it out here: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/goin-troppo/id1482722741In this episode:Cleaning teeth at work/school - totally fine or weird? (14:44) Facebook's hidden 'message request' section (20:26) Snapping one off in the shower - you'd be surprised how many people do it (31:02) Follow us @coupleofmitches!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. A surge in young people inhaling the gas from cooking canisters known as names to get high. Some things make more sense than others. So I've done everything for you. I've put my career on hold. I could have been anything if I'd had the talent. Brace yourself for observations you didn't ask for. This is leadership. I think he's one of the greatest leaders we've ever had.

Do you? Yeah. Well, goodo. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Should one of us be Mitch and the other be Mitchell just to make things easier? You're Mitch. I only call you Mitchell when you're being annoying.

You always call me Mitchell. Oh. Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Good to be home. G'day, g'day. We're back again. Hi, here's Mitch Julie and Mitchell Coombs. Good to be home. G'day, g'day. We're back again. Hi, Jenna.

Hi. Now, Jenna, you know what they say about women in media. Two of them can't be in the same room without having some sort of cat fight. So how are you going to cope with today's guest host? Oh, I don't know. She's melting away. This is like American Horror Story with the witches, and there can only be one supreme in the room at once, so then one of them dies, and it's just all very convoluted. Ruby Teeth is here.

Hello, darling. Hello, fellas. Hello, darling. Hello, rooms. Welcome to the show. I wasn't exuding enough feminine energy myself, so I've brought you in to help me out. That's all right. I'm pretty messed.

I feel outnumbered for, I don't know why, to be honest, but, you know, I like what you're doing to the room. Do you? Yeah, you're balancing it out. It's this beautiful moisturizer I'm using. You're looking very dewy, which is good. Dewy. That's the thing you've got to do.

You've got to do it at the moment. It's got to be really oily and like, ugh, and give a shit. Yeah, that really is the craze, to look like you've just run a marathon. Yeah. Everyone wants to look sweaty, and I'm not into it. You're covered in KFC grief. Maybe that'll be in theme. We were talking off the air that I've always got more Tadella fat on my fingers

because I like cold cuts. We have that in common. I bloody love a cold cut. I'm in the woolly stilly section. I'm like, give it to me. Give it all to me. 200 grams, make it 300 grams. Don't even have to wrap it separately.

Put it all in the one bag, darling. You know when they go, you ask for 200 and they go, it was 210, is that all right? I'm like, bitch, do 220. I don't care. Fill it up. Look, that bit's looking pretty and they go, it was $210. Is that all right? I might beat you to $220. I don't care. Fill it up. Look, that bit's looking pretty lonely. Yeah, just chuck it in.

If you haven't heard Ruby's podcast, I highly recommend. Fortunately, I did bring a grab with me. I listened to the most recent one. It was the Valentine's Day special you did. Yeah. And you and your co-host, Jack, you were talking about sex at the time. And I just, it was the most brilliant thing I've ever heard, so I had to bring it with me.

Here it is. Sex is exhausting. Oh, it's like better than sex. I'm like, I bloody hope it is. I don't understand. One thing you couldn't live without, sex. Really? I hope I could live without it.

I really do. That would be a utopia. What would you put as the same as sex? The same as sex, as in what I like? This is what I think about sex. It's when you go to the footy and you get a meat pie and realise the inside's still frozen. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What else do you think? Sex is like those really pretty water bottles from Target. You buy for $6 and they look like they were $36 and then you get them home and they leak. They leak through your bag. Yeah. That's exactly right. I think it's awful.

I hope we don't sound bitter right now. I'm jaded to the fucking nines. Yeah. I do not care. Oh, come on. And it struck a nerve with Australia because that's the most downloads I've ever gotten and the realest show I've ever done.

It cut to the bone, that one. It was so good. People reaching out left, right and centre like, you too? I'm not an alien? Sex is awful. It's okay, Australia. We get it. Bad sex unites the country.

Yeah. And I've got to say, that made you a perfect contender for my list that I'm working on because last week here on our podcast, I started writing the things that are better than drugs and dick list. We had a couple of examples. I'm thinking I should take some submissions. Oh, we had a cool breeze. Yeah.

We had a beautiful pizza. Yeah. We had all sorts. What did you guys add again? I said a good toothbrush, like a good tooth clean. You know when you brush your teeth really well and you're like, fuck, everything is clean. There's no plaque on any tooth.

I heard that. A really good quality fruit cutting knife. That's probably my favourite. You just don't get it until you've got one. You know what I mean? So is there anything you'd like to add seeing as you despise sex? A KFC dinner box on Deliveroo on Saturday afternoon, 4pm, after you've been on the margaritas all night at Stonewall.

I'm keeping up, I'm keeping up, I'm keeping up. Yeah, that's ideal. KFC dinner. There were layers to that one, but I couldn't agree more. On to Liveroo, because you're obviously lying down in the vertical position. Is that vertical when you go like this? Horizontal. Horizontal.

Horizontal. That's fine. No one can see. I'm not in a handstand, Dallin. That was last night. Sit on the wine bottle, do a handstand. That's my usual pre-drink. The Uber's here.

I'll just chuck up against the wall. Go into a handstand, gl's my usual pre-drink. So you busy, I'll just chuck up against the wall. Go into a handstand, glug, glug, glug. Oh, Mitch, can I tell you, I'm a little bit intimidated having Ruby here because I did my media diploma at the same place and like a couple of years afterwards. Yeah. And she's that alumni that all the teachers rave about. Oh, you're the pet favorite. She's that golden child.

She goes, so here's, Ruby Tease did this assignment really well. I'll show you, I'll show you her one so you guys have inspiration. Oh, Ruby Tease is Ruby Tease that. Was I the demonstrator? Yeah, very much so. Oh, actually, really? Same deal. I'm a little pep in my steps.

Same deal at afters. You are very similar, though. Very similar. You could be sisters. Do you know what I mean? Sisters. Or cousins. I've always wanted a sister or a replacement sister for the one I've already got.

What's wrong with the one you've already got? She's just very snobby. Too good for me. You know that family member who goes, you're ridiculous. Yes. Or because you're very loud, they say, or you're in media. I'm a comic, right? So my whole family has taken it upon themselves to say, I'm a show off.

A show pony. I'm dying, craving the attention. No, I'm a comic. My job is to make you laugh. Yeah. So I'm sorry I can't sit down and be a little mousy, skinny girl in my high fashion doing my fucking East St. Laurent makeup.

I'm a comic. Like, I'm so sorry the patriarchy has told you to tell me to sit down and shut up. But that's my job. Well, it's funny because when I listened to the very first episode of Great Australian Debate Up Late. Hey, guys. Just jumping in here to let you know that since we recorded this fabulous episode,

Ruby and Jack have since changed the name of their podcast to Going Tropo. So whenever we say Great Australian Debate Up Late, just ignore it. That's not right. It's now called Going Tropo. So go and search that if you were up late, just ignore it. That's not right. It's now called Going Tropo. So go and search that if you were keen on getting across some more rubes and jacks. Anyway, carry on listening. Enjoy. Well, it's funny because when I listened to the very first episode, I was bracing myself

for comedy. And there's a lot of audio production involved in terms of sound effects and backing tracks. And it sounded like a movie trailer. I was like, oh shit, is this actual serious journalism? Yeah. And then they started talking and I was like, oh, thank God. It's like a movie trailer. I was like oh shit, is this actual serious journalism? And then they started talking and I was like, oh thank god, it's like a parody. They're talking really

seriously but about non-serious topics. What was the first one you were debating? Bindi vs Bob. Bindi vs Bob Irwin. Which is Robert Irwin versus his lovely sister Bindi. You were team Bindi, right? I'm team neither just quietly. Oh no, I was Bob. Were you Bob? I'm team Bob. Because I'm hoping that he

comes to his senses and asks me to marry him because I think that's what Australia Zoo needs is a funny one. Everyone's just so serious like, here's the fairy tale and this and that and everyone just looks really fucking good and khaki and a bit of mascara. They need

Ruby to spin things up a bit. They need the Aussie because they're an Aussie family. Then you hear Terry on the news and she's like, rest in peace, dear. I love you, Steve. I'm like, are you fucking not Australian? Where does your loyalty lie? Because as far as I'm concerned, they're on the Jimmy Fallon show.

Yes, Dancing with the Stars US. Dancing with the Stars. They're on the Ricky Lee show. Imagine that. No, sorry. Dancing with the Stars. They're on the Ricky Lee show. Imagine that. No, sorry, I'm so Australian. They're on the Ricky Lake show. They're on the Kelly Clarkson show. They're on Jerry Spriggan, you know.

But I don't see them, you know, doing half as many, you know, appearances on the Today Show. I agree. I haven't seen them on Studio 10. Have you, Mitch? You guys mustn't watch because I feel like Bindi's on the Today Show every ten minutes being like, look at this good deed I did. Just trying to maintain that good girl Australia's sweetheart.

Tomorrow kids get in for free. Yeah, we know. I'm making get out, Bindi, you psychopath. She strikes me as the type that has a full Corinthians Bible verse tattooed on her lower back. And we don't know about it because that's for only her eyes and Chandler's eyes. Chandler! He's named Chand for only her eyes and Chandler's eyes. Chandler!

His name's Chandler. His name is Chandler. And he looks like, oh, he reeks of white privilege. Don't you think? Yeah. Well, he used to be a wakeboarder. I don't even know what that fucking is. Do you have to be awake?

So how often do you and Jack do episodes of your show? Not often enough, I tell you that, Dallin. It's true. Because it knocks me for six. Like, we did this show last week. I had one day to edit it or put it together. It was like the skies opened. God reached down with his long, dry sausage finger and tapped me on the head.

I don't know how I got it done because I'm a busy little fucking bee. And I got it done and got it up in the air. But ever since I fucking uploaded it to Omni, I've been sick as a dog. Yeah, there you go. Seven days, flat on my back. That always happens. Initially, I'm like Xenowari princess.

Like, if I've got a sniffle, blah, blah, blah, blah, I'll still do the marathon. I'll still go to work. But I've been like, is it too early to make coronavirus jokes? No, not at all. I was going to have to get tested. I was going to.

My sister was like, you need to get tested. The snobby sister? Yeah. Yeah, of course she thinks you've got it. I was like, you need to get tested. The snobby sister? Yeah. I was like, you need to get tested. It takes it out of you, editing, doesn't it? Yes. I don't even do that much editing for this show. Just when Mitchell says dumb shit that he later regrets and might offend someone.

I often call you and go, cut that bit out, please. Yeah, he does. He says all this rude shit and then regrets it later. That was actually quite homophobic. Yeah. I actually do. But you can tell by your podcast that a lot goes into it. How long does it take you to edit an episode?

Okay, so I got a bit carried away. The first episode took eight days to edit together, but I was trying to prove a point. Yeah, gotcha. The second one was four days, but then I started getting used to it. And this one took a day, but man, it took like a lot. See, Mitch, do you believe me now? I think he thinks I'm the boy that cries wolf when I'm like, there's going to be so much editing. He's got an injury from editing.

I was very upset Ruby was here because we haven't got to point out, hold it up, put in the cameras, he's got an injury, he's got a wank burn. I do not. I came in and I was like, oh, save that for the wank bang. My wrist is currently all strapped up, my left wrist. I edited for like 15 hours straight and, yeah, I had an RSI and it just didn't go away. It's been like a week now.

Is that your prominent hand, the left hand? No, which is weird. Maybe that's why. Would you like to go out in solidarity and maybe just go one handed this show? Because all day, doctor's orders and like HR orders, I've only been able to use one hand. I think I could do that easily. Do you reckon? Yeah, I was going to say I could do it with my hands behind my back, but no, I need one of those.

Oh, no hands. Yeah, why not? What a stupid challenge. But yes, let's do it. Which hand is yours? Are you left or right-handed? Well, I use my right hand for everything but a couple of things. All right, right-handed is good.

Okay, done. We really should start the show. You guys, I'll go get some sort of apparatus to tape to your hands. For me? Yeah. Oh, shit. Do you know how to actually do it? Really?

Oh, this has just got interesting. It's about to heat up. It's about to spice up. Thank God he's gone. It's like Ninja Warrior. It is, isn't it? Now Jenna can finally get a word in. Jenna and Mitch.

Sorry, Jenna. Poor Jenna's under the thumb by Mitch. How do you feel about having Ruby in here? I think it's great. It's a nice addition. I think we could replace Mitch. Yeah. Remember the episode where I was late and it was just you and Mitch and it tanked in

the ratings? I know. It did so well. The Metropolitan viewers went down. But now I reckon if it was just us three, and it tanked in the ratings? I know, it did so well. The Metropolitan viewers went down. But now I reckon if it was just us three, we'd go up. What are you doing? Mitch is backing everyone. Put your hand in the GoPro.

My hand won't fit in that Hero 7 black GoPro. Oh, it does. Yeah, it does. Look at that. Hey, I said right hand. I said right hand. No, I can't panel with just my left. One Mitch down, all of them are down.

Fucking hell. Don't put them on my hair. Don't put it on the hairs, though. Because getting those hairs out. Oh, rip, rip. Isn't it the worst? You're going to have a shaved arm. No, you're putting it up, you piece of shit.

I want to make sure it's fake. Oh, I feel like Turia Pitt. This is not. Why do you feel like Turia Pitt? Because I'm... More David DeLeo, if you ask me. Stop taping it! All right, we're done.

Oh, I feel like I'm in the buddy Boston bombings. Okay, here we go. He's going to cut that later. Yeah, Mitch, can you cut that one, we're done. Oh, I feel like I'm in the body of Boston bombings. Okay, here we go. He's going to cut that later. Yeah, Mitch, can you cut that one? We're back. Just to prove a point, it's on. But you know what I think all our problems have stemmed from? Mercury retrograde.

Apparently that's what's happening. Oh, you're one of those, are you? No, don't you start with you're one of those. I used to be a skeptic until it ruined my whole fucking life. Did it really? My internet, okay, so technology's supposed to go crazy. Yeah. start with you're one of those. I used to be a skeptic until it ruined my whole fucking life. Did it really? What happened? So technology's supposed to go crazy and you're supposed to fall at the wayside. So here I am

my Wi-Fi modem just stopped working a week without Wi-Fi at home. I was hot spotting from my phone all week. Going over your data. Voice gone. Earache blasting. Never had an earache in my life. You know what happened to me? You know when you get an earache and you're off balance?

Yeah. Well, I wasn't off balance. Everyone else was off balance. So I was walking down the street and this guy just starts tipping over. So I run up to him and I go, oh, I got you. It's all right. He was just walking mine in his own business, not tipping over at all. And I've just grabbed him in between the crutch

And lifted him to the high heavens So you're like hallucinating that people are falling over in front of you You thought it was Inception in real life That's right, I've never had an earache in my life I wish someone would let me know You poor thing, Jenna gets them often because she goes to squad She swims You look like a swimmer, that ponytail looks like it belongs to a swimmer

That lives under a cap three days of the week I envy you It's real hair Yeah, that lives under a cap three days of the week. Oh, I envy you. It's real hair. Yeah, it's real horse hair. Okay, I think we should move on. I actually don't know how this is going to work. Yeah, it's going to be business as usual, even though you're here. One, is it just me each, right?

Have you got one for us, Ruby? Yeah. Great, all right. Should we kick off? Yeah, I think we should. I mean, if this is your first time listening, I always think, why would people start with this episode? But it's the latest, so it makes sense. you just never know when someone's going to tune in this

one's at top of the feed the is it just me it's the name of the podcast it's our benchmark it's how we start the show every week it's something we've noticed something we hate or appreciate i went first last week why don't you go sure okay and then i'll go then ruby can go in the end or should we sandwich you in the middle either way well what have we got to look forward to though without giving it away what would you i'll go at the end. What have we got to look forward to, though? No, mine's pretty trash. Without giving it away, what would yours be? I'll go at the end because mine's a bit fucking rude. Okay, we'll get rid of it. Sorry.

All right. Oh, my God. I'm so glad that that GoPro... Sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, my God. Edward Boxhands. There we go. Edward Boxhands.

It's tricky, right? That's a porn that I would watch. Imagine putting that up your goonga. I know, right? Four corners. Look at the humidity that's forming inside. Oh, my God. It's moist.

The four walls. It's misting. Look at this. This is absolutely awful. It's like when Jack and Rose slapped their hand on that condensation in the Titanic. Wow. That was my sexual awakening. I am straight.

Okay, let's start the show with the first Digim Coombs. You can kick us off. Is it just me or? Is it totally fine to clean your teeth in the office? Oh, big no. No. No, imagine something coming out of the cubicle and you're just foaming at the mouth.

Yeah, scrubbing. Well, see, here's the thing. In our office, there was a guy that used to work. He was your boss, right, Jenna? He was, yes. Maybe that's why he was walked. But he was known in the whole building. I don't know if he knew, but he was like, oh, that guy that cleans his teeth in the bathroom.

That was what he was known for around the corridors. That was his entire thing. But in my mind, I'm like, what an organized, well-put-together man. No. He values his health and oral hygiene enough to clean his teeth multiple times a day and let me tell you i'm not far off step one mouthwash i have a bottle of mouthwash in my bottom drawer that i use because all the coffee i drink you know you get that gross like white tongue yeah i've got that i can't sand the layer at any given point if my eyes glaze over i'm

picturing myself cleaning the layer it's like my my new obsession. Oh, you need a tongue scraper. I got one of those at Urban Outfitters. That's what I'm saying. The mouthwash isn't cutting it anymore. Yes, I feel fresher, but the layer's still there. So I reckon I'm this close to being that guy that cleans his teeth in the office. Oh, I feel you. And I'm just at the point where I'm like, don't give a fuck. I'm happy to be that guy. That means my mouth feels beautiful. I don't know, Ruby. Would you do it if you had to? How many times are we cleaning? Is it becoming a little bit obsessive?

Because if I can remember, like I'm an idiot, but if I can remember cleaning the teeth in the morning and in the night, I'm like, girl, it's been a trot, but we're trotting on. And we are walking forward and each day is a little bit tricky, but we're moving forward. Everything's going to be all right. If you've got to go, oh, it's 11 o'clock, better go to the bathroom and clean my teeth.

That's where I lose interest. I feel you. There was another guy I used to work with who used to clean his teeth after every meal and I thought, who hurt you? Yeah. Not feel you. There was another guy I used to work with who used to clean his teeth after every meal and I thought, who hurt you? Yeah. Not every meal. I just reckon like I would do like a midday one. That's like my reset to get me through the afternoon.

If I have a gross mouth at midday, I'm like, it's just not happening. But I still have shame about the mouthwash even. So what I do is I probably look like an alcoholic. I open my bottom drawer, get a little shot of the mouthwash, hold it in my mouth and walk down the hallway. Oh, no. But you bet your ass every time, bloody dead from the newsroom, hi, Mitch, how are you?

Wants to make a conversation. I'm like, mm. And I just, I soldier on. I make no eye contact with anyone. It's me to the bathroom, spit it out, make sure no one's there. But I'm just like, I'm over the shame. I'm over hiding. It's Mardi Gras season.

We shouldn't be doing this anymore. I'm going to come out as the guy that cleans his teeth in the office. Look, the layer of thing on my tongue is now permanent. And by the time you get to 29, you're like, well, this is it. Yeah. It's getting harder every day I try to clean it. See, I on the weekend, and I'm not afraid to say this in front of three great personal friends, that I went away for the weekend and I forgot my toothbrush.

And I didn't brush my teeth for two nights. Oh, yuck. Ew. And it was Valentine's Day, so there was a lot of kissing involved. Your poor boyfriend. Why didn't you just use your boyfriend's toothbrush? No, I didn't want to. I don't like that.

I think that's awful. Have you ever used anyone else's toothbrush? Yes, accidentally for months. And then I realised it was my dad's who's got awful allotopia. Oh, my God! Did Hayden have a problem with you having foul breath on Valentine's Day? We did discuss it. And then he said, we'll go down to Nara and get a toothbrush.

That was going somewhere else. We'll go down. We'll just go down. It did happen. But no, no, my mouth was fine. I'm just going to get dirty anyway. I mean, what can you do? Did you go and get a toothbrush?

No. Why not? We forgot. We were sightseeing. You've been going so well. Jenna, don't you point fingers at me. Sorry, I'm trying to point, but I've got a box on my head. When you're making a point, can you do like a judge's hammer?

Yeah, good point. Jenna. Jenna, it's not a problem. I was going to crack and slice my hand open. Look at that. It's getting wet in here, guys. It's awful. Anyway, move on. Jenna, you seem like someone who's on it with the oral hygiene. Oh, my God. Fuck. Look at that. It's getting wet in here, guys. It's awful. Anyway, move on.

Jenna, you seem like someone who's on it with the oral hygiene. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Look at us. We're just two organised honeys. I think it's disgusting. You're very clean, Jenna. Every time I see you, you look like you've just come out of a shower.

Did you think it was weird when your old boss would go off to clean his teeth in the middle of the day? I did find that a bit bizarre because it was often. But if it was i didn't realize i don't sit where you sit how often was it oh it was probably three times a day oh okay i wouldn't do that so it was a bit extreme but we do need someone to replace him in terms of the brushing of the teeth and maybe it's my time be that person yeah what about school because i know that some schools that used to i I don't know if they still do, but they

actually made kids clean their teeth at like lunch. It was a thing. And there was this like sink dedicated that used to be like bubblers to cleaning teeth. It was foul because there were all these primary school kids spitting in it. But I'm like, that's a good habit to get them into. Teach them from a young age that it's acceptable to clean your teeth midday, wherever you may be, wherever your commitments lie. Actually, you know what?

You're changing my mind. There we go. Look at me go. Do you reckon tradies will do it on the building site one day? Oh, I've seen a few tradies have to. Have to scrub. Have to bloody go. Like, if it's not rock, it's fine.

So, like, why wouldn't they clean their teeth? A can of mother at 7.30 in the morning is fine, darling. Anything goes. Oh, shit. All right, let's do mine. Are we ready to move on? Yeah, let's do it. This is mine. This is just me. Oh, shit. All right, let's do mine. Are we ready to move on? Yeah, let's do it. This is mine.

This is just me. Bear with me. Oh, my God. Sorry, I'm coughing and huffing over here. No, it's fine. That's showbiz. He's trying to touch screen with the GoPro box strapped to his hand. Head to my Instagram, at coupleofmitches.

You'll see the photo. I'm using my left hand now. I don't know why this hand is there, but I'm ready to go. Okay. Is it just me or? Do you feel awkward deleting old friends from high school from Facebook? No way. Really?

I've just started doing it and I cannot bear to do it. Justin Trudiani. Oh, we had a lovely day at the Fate in year six. Oh he bought me a spider. A fantasy spider because I ran out of pocket money. Like he was such a good kid. How big is a spider though? And then I remember when he you know had sex with Lisa Samuels in year seven

and we all cheered him on. And I had such fond memories. I haven't seen him since. He probably voted no. But I just want to keep him there. And then when I unfriend him I think about it. I'm't seen him since. He probably voted no. But I just want to keep him there. And then when I unfriend him, I think about it. I'm like, shit, I feel bad. I should have kept him. What made you want to unfriend him, though?

Because he put up a post about his pit bull that had died. He had a GoFundMe. And I was like, I'm not donating to you. Who are you again? And I went on his profile. And then, you know, when you go to see friendship and it's like, you wished him happy birthday in 2013. You can just unfollow, though.

No, but I want – it's just cleaner to unfriend. Following confuses me on Facebook. But you never know. They could have been quietly stalking you all these years, being like, gee, Mitch is doing well. He's working at KISS. Well, that's what happened. And then he's like, all of a sudden,

you come up in his ad friend suggestions. He's going to know. That's what happened. I did it and someone called me out. Someone messaged me. Someone said, was it something I said, LOL? And I was like. Who was it?

Yes, it was the GoFundMe page. Once your beloved pit bull, heaven angel, died. The worst part was the pit bull mauled someone's cavoodle and the pit bull was put down. Oh, well, that's it. Tell him you fucking have a passion for cavoodles. Tell him you're a fucking breeder. I have a cavoodle. And the pitbull was put down. Oh, well, that's it. Tell him you fucking have a passion for Cavoodles. Tell him you're a fucking breeder. I have a Cavoodle.

So it hit close to home. Anyway, she called me out. We went to drama school together. She was woeful, as was I. And we had a little chat back and forth. And then when she messaged me, I scrolled up, and the banter was good a couple years back. And I thought, God, if it was so good, then what has happened?

You know, I just, I don't like to let go. So, but you seem to be fine with it, you two. I did the cull immediately after I graduated. I literally put, you know how you get the group school photo with everyone? Yeah. I pulled that up and I was like, okay, if I ran into one of any of these people at Woolworth, who would I stop and chat to? And who would I avoid eye contact with and hope I don't see them again?

Anyone that I would avoid, I got rid of them on Facebook and haven't had them since the day I finished year 12. That's smart. I can't unfriend them now. That's just bloody rude. Well, Ruby, you've been out of school for ages, right? Oh, 10 years this year. Okay.

Congratulations. Did they have Facebook in year 12? 11 years. For real? Jesus. Sorry to bring it up. No, everyone was just getting into Facebook. Like, just got it.

And I was like, you know when you used to be able to send drinks to people when it first started? Drinks? No. Yeah, you could send people like, here's a margarita. Really? Here's a cosmopolitan, yeah. Just like a gif or something. And people were like, oh, my God, let's get Facebook.

It's so shit compared to MySpace. You can't do top friends. My top friends were Irene, Alf Stewart, Chewbacca and Cheese. Me too. It's a tough ranking. Anyway, I had a challenge that I wanted to do. God, this fucking box. I've never said that before.

Actually, I have a couple of times. So if you go, do you have Facebook Messenger, the two of you? Yeah. Okay, open it up. And then I'll give you some time. Okay, go to Facebook. You don't have an Android, do you? Good, I was going to judge you hard.

Oh, no, darling, what have you got there? Good. And then you go to the middle. There's two heads in the middle down the bottom. Yeah, yeah, I've got that. And then top right, there's like a little, see this, Roobs? There's like a little speech bubble with three dots. Yeah.

That is your requests folder. And people message you, but it doesn't tell you that they've messaged you. You've got to manually check it. Oh, my God. And I have got hundreds. And this is where the friends' messages go. And I got one the other day. Ready for this?

Yeah. Ready? This is from Senya Dragus. Hi, Mitch. Oh, my God. Hello to you. I couldn't believe it when I realized you are the cash cock with Kyle and Jackie O. I love the two of them and have been a massive fan.

Fucking sob story. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I remember driving the boys up to the school, Sylvania Heights Public, in the mornings, laughing hysterically to their antics. Wow, what a gig you have. That's all I wanted to say. Huge congrats. Oh, please say hello to your mum.

I wondered about where you guys are. Still need Cronulla. All the best, young man, and God bless you. Sandra Dragus. So, do you guys have any i feel terrible because i've just opened my message requests yeah and i have a message from this time last year from that guy david that used to work here he goes here's the choreography for the kiss mardi gras float oh no you've just seen it i remember having like having a very passive

aggressive dig at him for not having sent me the choreography when he said he would david i haven't gotten the email yet he said he would. Oh, yeah. I was like, David, I haven't gotten the email yet. He sent it to me on Facebook, but we're not friends. I didn't see it. Poor David. It's like when someone passes and then you hear a voicemail of them a decade later and you're going, oh, that's how they sounded. That's never happened to me.

It's happened to me once. It was awful. Any more? Mitch, do you have any? Surely you've got some fans in there. There's a few there, yeah. No high school friends. I have one.

Oh, Jenna's got one. Yeah, go for it. From Carolyn Kilkenny. Okay. Hi, I see you like Delta. Oh. As in Delta Goodrum. I should say so.

How did she see that? I don't know. Jenna, what are you doing in your spare time in forums on Facebook? Delta Goodrum fan club. Jenna and I are both Delta Goodrum diehards at heart. True, true. Oh, my God. Stop bumping the microphone with your box.

It's wet. I wish you could see how wet True, true. Oh, my God, stop bumping the microphone with your box. It's wet. I wish you could see how wet my box is. Oh, my God. I have an invitation to an old friend from the Shires baby shower and I thought I was just not inviting. Read it out, read it out. Hey, ladies. Amy's baby shower lunch is this

Saturday. This was 2017 I thought I wasn't born. If you haven't already RSVP'd rude, please do so by today so we can finalise numbers for food. Date, Saturday 5th of August 2017. 11.30am onwards

lunch will start at 12. At Mary's house. Who's that? I'll post the map on Facebook. Just bring yourselves. She wants wraps, swoodles, onesies, gift vouchers for babies, preferably bonds, books, face washers, toys. Any questions, let me know.

I thought I just wasn't invited because I'd broken up with my boyfriend from the Shire and I just thought I was exiled from the group. Was that your, like, circle? That was your link to them? Yeah, so in the Shire. So I used to live in the Shire too, Mitchell Cherry, but I was imported in from the city after I became a Tinderella

to someone from the Shire. Uh-huh. North Cronulla Beach, to be quite frank. Me too. That's where I am. Yeah, well, I was just like, Burke Road. Anyway. Hey, speaking of Tinder, I would have loved to

invite your beautiful co-host Jack in today to come with you, but I did message him on Tinder. Oh my God, are you Jack from the Great Australian Debate podcast? And he ignored me. To be fair, he took a screenshot of that and sent it to me when that having goes, I'm getting recognised on Tinder. But then didn't reply. But, mate, you

gotta know, Jack doesn't message his mum. He wouldn't message me. He messages no reply. But, mate, you've got to know, Jack doesn't message his mum. He wouldn't message me. He messages no one. I am on red eight days straight. Hey, Jack, I'm dying. Just thought you'd want to know. I know you've seen the message.

Is he really tricky to organise recordings with for, like, the podcast? No, I'll be like, we've got to work. And when I put on my, if you don't fucking come right now, I'll fucking kill you. Yeah, you're the Mitch. But if it's being friends. Okay, so you and I are the same. She's the Mitch, I'm the Ruby.

I'm not that bad, though. Seriously, if anyone opens on Tinder with, like, praising my content, it's this instant panty dropper. So, like, I don't understand why he wouldn't reply. He probably saw your hair, thought he was on straight Tinder. Probably was confused. He was on Blender. What Blender? What's Blender for lesbians? I thought it was Grindr tried to launch an app on straight Tinder. Probably was confused. He was on Blender. What Blender?

What's Blender for lesbians? I thought it was Grindr tried to launch an app for straight people. Did they? Yeah, it was called Blender. They tried to kick it off in like Miami. It sounds disgusting. Of course they did. Are you on Tinder, Jenna?

I used to. Yeah. Not anymore? No. Did you have much luck? What? Did you have much luck on there? I was just on it for fun as in like some lame Zumba jokes.

Yeah. I remember when I was on Tinder, I used to go, you got a new match. And I'd open it up and it was a fucking ad for Guzman y Gomez. And like, you've matched with two for two tacos. I'm like, how is that fair? But I'll buy it. I'm not matching with any tacos. Is it just me?

Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app. Yeah, so when we say leave a review, we mean a written one, if at all possible. Apparently that only applies to Apple Podcasts, though. Spotify, iHeartRadio, there's no way to leave positive or negative feedback. We've got a very complimentary one. I would read it out, but I've only got one hand at the moment. It's really going towards the vitals. You and me both, babe.

Oh, my God. Yeah, true. I was going to say, look hand of the mic. It's really going towards the vitals. You and me both, babe. Oh, my God. Yeah, true. I was going to say, look at this, guys. It's like wet. Look in there. My fingers are going pruney. Yeah, look at that. Oh, it's like you've been in a bath for ages.

Oh, gross. Oh, yeah. It's like I'm in a sauna. Feel the outside of the box, how warm that is. That is warm. Hey, since we're in the spirit of plugging, don't forget, Great Australian Debate Up Late Podcast. Leave them a review.

Should we give them something to say so they know they came from Is It Just Me? Yeah, why don't you start the review on The Great Debate tonight at night. Uplight is in brackets. Yeah, sorry, Uplight. And you go, Is It Just Me or Is This Podcast the Best? And then you go into your review. But you start it with Is It Just Me. Hold on, I need to do a cough.

Hey, you know that we have cough buttons in this studio. Press sorry. I'm not used to this rich life. Where is it? Just press cough mute. Look at that. You know what the problem is? You know what we should say as a review, though?

Yeah. We should say, as a salute to the fact that Jack never replied to me, just write, you there, Jack? Yeah. Make that your review on Apple Podcasts. Everyone do five stars, everyone, and then write, Jack, reply to this or else you're not alive. And you can't reply to a podcast review, so that's perfect.

Jack, reply to this or. Jack, reply to your mum, for God's sake. She wants to know if you're healthy. Can I test something out very quickly? Your cough mute, cough into your mic. Press cough mute. Probably as it picks up on everyone else's mic. So we all have to choreograph our cough at the same time.

On three, we're all going to cough, and if you're listening, podcasters, and you don't hear a thing, it means it's mic. So we all have to choreograph our cough at the same time. On three, we're all going to cough. And if you're listening, podcasters, and you don't hear a thing, it means it's worked. All right. One, two, three. Tits. Sorry. Go again.

I should have known. I'm so naughty. I should have known. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. I'm conducting with my boxed hand. On three.

One, two, three. Yeah! I love that we celebrate this. Oh, your mic's still off. I love that we celebrate that technology works. Oh, my God. You're all on. Oh, my God.

Ruby, are you ready for your Is It Just Me? Yeah, let me open me little fucking iPhone 11. Hooray. You all ready to go? Yep. Yeah. Is it just me or... Is snapping one off in the shower fucking disgusting?

Oh, no. Because there was a survey conducted across the US and the UK by a lovely company called QS Supplies. They do shower supplies. And they revealed 30, 000 people surveyed one in 30 people shit in the shower that's no good that is disgusting hold on who here has done it not in my life really never what are you talking about really? Because shitting to me is fucked.

It's awful. I feel like I do have a vague memory of when I was like sick and had like the runs back in like primary school maybe. And I did trust the fart. And thankfully I was in the shower. But you were horrified after. You were like sniffing around. I still think about it. But no, I've never done it on purpose and thought, you know, it would be a great idea just to lay along right now.

But what's the mechanic of it? So you put, you know, lay some, what's it called, piping, and then you... How do you do it? Do you have to push it down the drain with your foot? Yeah, you waffle stomp it. It's called waffle stomping. Apparently it's actually a thing that some people get off on.

We don't kink shame in this house, but apparently waffle stomping is something, it's actually a thing that some people get off on. It's like, we don't kink shame in this house. Apparently, waffle stomping is something that people get a little bit excited by. Not me. No one in this room, Jenna? No? I think I'm going to vomit. I've got cracks in my heels, too. So the poo would get in my cracked heels.

Seriously, I've never, ever thought to do a shit in the shower. I'm a pre-shower shitter. So if I need to have a shower and I feel one coming on, I'll get it out there so you can be super clean after. Oh, absolutely. You've got to save up your shit before you shower. Or else what's the point of having a bloody shower? Exactly right.

You go, it's called a shit in the shower for a reason. You've got to do your ablutions, then you wash it off. Do you ever do that thing where you get in the shower without wiping at all and you rely solely on water and soap to clean? I've done that once and there was just too much going on. Yeah, exactly. Sorry, but if you know it's there, it just... Yeah.

Yeah. So 68% of men wee in the shower. I would say that's natural. Wee over the drain. And we have to remember wee is very sterile. Yes. 56% of women do it. And we have to remember, wee is very sterile.

Yes. 56% of women do it. 51% of people masturbate. Overall? Oh, no. Actually, that's wrong. 79%. In the shower? Yeah.

We've all done that, surely. Come on. Is the water and the friction, is that ever a problem? I don't like it. Oh. I don't mind having a shower with someone if it's, like, implied that we're getting clean in order to go elsewhere and then...

Right. But I would never just have... People who rave about shower sex or bath sex, I'm just like, what for? I've done it in the shower once and I snapped the handle on the glass door. Because I was too robust. Probably a bit too heavy too. But apparently people hang off the rail and that always ends in

disaster, like the ambulance is called. Oh, yeah, you'd hang yourself if you had one of those bloody curtain showers too. That'd be horrific. You'd just go backwards and then it would be a hill. Have any of you ever fallen in the shower? It is your lifelashes before you arrive. I did it the other day and it's so scary because you think, I'm done, I'm done.

There's tile everywhere. There's water. And I just... The glass. The glass. The hot water. I just... Sli's tile everywhere. There's water. And I just, I literally did a lot of toilet work. The glass. The glass. The hot water. I just, slipping in the shower is my worst nightmare.

I hate it. Yeah, it's bad. And I have to use a lot of conditioner for this main. So I've got to be particularly careful. Yeah, you've got a lot going on. Oh, I'm never cutting it. No. Oh, once it's down, once I can feel it.

Once I can feel it, you know, in danger when I go to the toilet, that's when I know I've made it. I've noticed just recently my hair's in danger when I go to the toilet, that's when I know I've made it. I've noticed just recently my hair's in danger when I'm cleaning my teeth. Like I bend over to like spit out the water or like get some water because I don't have a cup in the bathroom. I get some water from the tap and I'm like, oh, my hair's going to get bloody toothpaste all over it. Oh, thank you.

It looks like the little mermaid. It is nice. I actually quite like it. You do? Yeah, I do actually. I wasn't sold at first, but now I can't think of a pre-Mitch that didn't look like Rapunzel. Well, I was thinking about cutting it the other day after I saw Luke from Five Sauce.

He came into the Kyle and the Daccio studio and be still my beating heart. I'm tempted to sniff this chair. What a human and a half. He's gorgeous. Did I tell you that story? I was on a yacht. They invited me on their private yacht. And then I went on their private yacht.

Oh, no, you're from the Shire. Yeah, I'm from the Shire. They're not even from the hills. I asked them and they're not. They're from the west. And he's like, you know, they've got the hybrid accent like Bindio and they're like, it's so weird. People always ask us, but we're from the hills. But we're from the west.

And I was like, really? But, yeah, I was on the boat with them and we shared a prawn and we shared little meatballs. You went on? Yeah, I went on the yacht. It and we shared a prawn and we shared little meatballs. You went on? I went on the yacht. It was phenomenal. God, you're so famous. I had to take my shoes off and my foot was touching Callum's for a good 30 minutes.

My little toe. Which one's he? Which one's he? The pock one. He's like half Asian. Oh, I love him. He's lovely. Pock.

I was like, he's got small pocks, man. No, person of colour is a term. Gotcha. My foot, my pinky toe was resting on his bed. Pinky toe was hot. I think he's a bit cute. Yeah, 100%. If you're listening.

He's not listening. We were talking about this the other day. We were talking about this off the air. And you mentioned that you had a Five Sauce interview. And Ruby says, and I've used this phrase so many times since I stole it from you. She goes, who's that one from Five Sauce that I want to ride into the sunset? I saw that. I was on air and I'm like, what is going on?

And then I saw him the next day and I was like, it'd have to be him. Is it Luke? Yeah, it was him and Luke and the others. Callum's not. You know what? They're all genuine, lovely boys and they're very handsome. Also, the name Callum. Oh, it's a lie.

Callum Hood. Yeah, and Callum Hood. Sorry to keep bringing it back to Luke, but there was a guy that I made out with at Pooftorf on the weekend that now that I've seen Luke, because I didn't really know what he looked like, now that I've seen him, I was like, oh, that guy at Pooftorf, even though he wasn't a great kisser, I was like, he looked a lot like him if he was, like, poor.

Like, his hair wasn't cut as nice. The JJ's Virgin. His facial hair was a little bit more scruffy. He was very JJ's virgin JJ's virgin JJ's it's a warehouse Remember that? Yeah

I love it Me and my dad Are still like JJ's it's a warehouse And then the little I don't want to use the wrong term I don't remember that at all I do

JJ's it's a warehouse Can you use two? With one hand Sure it'll take a month Yeah it's alright We can chat amongst ourselves We've got time JJ's it's a warehouse We We can chat amongst ourselves. We've got time. JJ, if I weren't out.

We've never heard that. But remember your emo phase in high school when you would go to JJ's to get your black skinny leg jeans and your emo T-shirt? I used to get them in high school because they went up to size 38 and waist. Do you know, I, Ruby, have recently gone up an X. Can you tell me how many Xs this is on my shirt?

Let me have a look. I was in second round. No, I used to be a two. And I think this is even... I'm actually a bit embarrassed. But you know what? Own it. What size is it, Ruth? It doesn't say down.

Oh, that's bad. Oh, three XLs. Okay, well. That's regular. You know what? That's fine, right? Three XLs, okay? You look bad.

You two standing next to each other is hilarious. Because Ruby, like, she's dainty, yeah? She's very petite. Yeah, beautiful girl. You are no dainty boy. I think I've found it, guys. Hold on. JJ, can you give your impression? Then we'll do it. We'll play it. JJ's. She's very petite. Yeah, beautiful girl. You are no dainty boy. I think I've found it, guys. Hold on. JJ, can you give your impression?

Then we'll do it. We'll play it. JJ's It's a Warehouse. Here we go. Leave it, cover, do it, work it, bring it, rock it, knock it, push it, get it, play it, mix it, kick it, do it, show it, touch it, pop it, live it, love it, want it, have it. There's nothing in there. What the hell did I just think though?

That was like when they tried to do the Kanye West glasses. Yeah. With shutter shades. Oh, weren't they horrific? JJ's is a warehouse. I remember it. I remember it. And that little like clown boy came out.

JJ's is a warehouse. We never got any of the cool ads out in the country on bloody regional TV. All you got was wind news. Yes, we did with Geoffrey Phillips. He should have died a long time ago. Is he still around? Yeah. What about that primetime one?

It's time for sleep, boys. Prime possum. What was that? Prime possum. That's it. I would go to Nana's house out on the farm and go, God, they do it differently out here, don't they? Yeah, at 7pm when the sun's literally still up.

Time for bed, I'm like, rubbish. Okay, boys and girls. I don't remember that. City kids wouldn't understand. Can I take this box off? My hand is wet. No. Oh, yuck.

Look. Oh, my God, the cardboard started to go soggy. It's melted off. I'm not joking. Have you found it harder to function, though? Huh? Have you found it harder to function? Yeah Huh? Have you found it harder to function? Yeah, so much harder.

I've been like that all day for me. It's pretty. It's dripping. And it smells too. Oh my God, don't do that. You're going to have to replace it. It's coming off. We should get out of here because I do not have the ability to edit,

so I can't cut this down if it runs on too long. Okay, so let's move on from the JJ's. Well, we've all done our regim, haven't we? Yeah. Jenna, you've not done one. You've never done one, have you on from the JJ's one. Well, we've all done our regimen, haven't we? Yeah. Jenna, you've not done one. You've never done one, have you? I've never done one. There was that time that Mitch was running late, you did one.

Oh, did I? Yeah. Yeah, why don't we open it up? Would you like to do one now, Jenna? Okay. Oh. Yes, I would. All right, we're sticking around longer then.

Okay. Okay. Go for it. Jenna, can't wait to have you. Here we go. What was that for? I just was in the mood. Stop using my good teeth.

Sorry. All right, Jenna, when you're ready. Is it just me or? Do you find it incredibly annoying when a Zumba routine, when you get a Zumba routine perfect and then the instructor changes it the next week? That's just predictable. I have a Zumba comment perfect. And then the instructor changes it the next week. That's just predictable. I have a Zumba comment though.

What's with those colourful cargo pants they're wearing? They're yellow. And they've got Zumba on the side of them and they look horrific. Do you wear them? Of course not. Of course not. But I feel like if you're an instructor, it's like an MLM. You have to wear everything that comes with it. Yeah.

Like the fluoro tank tops and those fucking bloody coloured cargo pants with the wissy tassels. What is Zumba for people that don't know? For people who don't know? Yeah, because people did message us asking because you bring it up all the time. Zumba is a dance workout inspired by Latin tunes. Yeah, so picture like Shakira and everyone just dancing to that and copying the instructor. Yeah, it was huge.

It was and apparently it's still a thing. Jenna still does it. My mum tried to do a class but she wanted to do it without shoes because she felt more grounded into it. They wouldn't let her. They said it was her H&S so she never went back. She was like, fine, stuff you send, bye. Jenna, can you give us an example of what would happen at Zumba?

Like, just be a trainer. I'll give you some Zumba-esque music. And then can you... Oh, we can only play five seconds, right? No, get rid of that, get rid of that, get rid of that. Sorry, copyright. Go on YouTube and just look up Zumba soundtrack. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Royalty free. I've only been to one Zumba class in my life, and I gave up because they didn't, like, try and help you keep up. She was like, all right, we're doing this move. And then after 10 seconds, I'd watch her study it, repeat it. Yeah, I've got it. And then they'd move on to the next one and never come back to it. So I just felt like I was failing the whole time.

Babe, you've got to go with the flow. Once it's over, it's done. Next thing. Don't worry about being perfect. The idea of perfectionism is ruining it. Jenna, I've got you the music. So, say things like, ready? Me, Ruby and Mitch are all walking into the class.

Hey, sorry I'm late. Sorry I'm late. I was snapping one off in the shower. Hi, I have a wrist injury. Is that okay? Can I still do it? Or just go easy? Probably just go easy.

But I would suggest you skip today, honestly. Fucking too easy, all right? All right, well, it's just you and me, Rubes. Up you today, honestly. Fucking too easy, alright? Up you get, dogs. Okay, are we ready? Come on! You've got no movement so far. I'm not doing movement, I'm just doing voice. Okay, yep.

One, two, three. One, two, three. When are you going to start doing some movement? I am burning carolies doing the whoop whoop Okay, I'm done with this Cool down, say thanks for coming Thanks everyone for coming I've got to do a little quad stretchy after that That was lovely, Jenna

Thank you Thank you for coming Well, Ruby, it was a pleasure having you in. Thanks for having me. Please have me back. We'd love to. Please have me back. I'm sorry.

Down, down, down, down, down. I don't know why I said that. Don't forget to check out Great Australian Debate Up Late podcast. We're going to be welcome on your show. Oh, yeah. Anytime you like. And also look at my Instagram at Ruby Tees. T-E-Y-S.

Like keys with a T. Oh, I like that. You've rehearsed that. You actually do really funny videos on there. They're called Thursday Thoughts. Yes. And they're just like. A thoughts on a Thursday, Thursday thoughts.

They're so, you just rant and I'm like, this is brilliant. This lends itself to them and is it just me? It does. Also, your Insta stories are just phenomenal. Thank you. Some of my favourite things to watch. I'm going to wake up tomorrow with a trillion little bloody Instagram. Yeah, won't you ever.

Love you all. Well, what else do we need to get done? Well, don't forget our Instagram while you're there at couple of Mitches, like you'd spell bitches. Jenna, great firstie, Jim, too. I was actually very impressed. Thank you. Well done.

It feels like you had that bottled up for some time, Jenna. I have. It's been a while. I mean, it was predictable as all hell. I could have picked you. No, it was not predictable. Really? No, it was not. Fair enough. Do you guys have a useless pest on your show? What's

that? A Gemma. No, God, I wish we did. We're not actually sure why she's here. She was originally brought in as a producer but then she was too busy but then kept turning up. Well, I've felt her warmth the whole time. Also, she's really infiltrated the studio. She's very coronary because she used to sit outside the box.

Now she's got her own fucking Domonti mic. I'm not sitting out there. She was a danger to the other staff that sit in the pitch. She frightened the majority. I got sent to HR. Yeah, it's fine. We all get there. Anyway, we'll be back next week. Don't forget, like I said, Great Australian Debate Up Late

podcast. Go check it out. And we'll be back same time, same place forget, like I said, Great Australian Debate Up Late podcast. Go check it out. And we'll be back same time, same place next week. We will. It's been a pleasure. Ruby, once again, thank you. Thank you for having me. I had a really good time. I loved it.

Let's end with a final cough. Ready? On three. One. You have to turn the music off too. Sorry. Okay. One, two, three.

Tits. Fool me once, shame on me. All right. We'll see you next week, guys. See you guys. Thanks for listening. Love you. Bye. Is it just me?

Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app. Okay. Welcome to AD Debrief. This is our secret segment. The reason we do this is because all the people that aren't great with technology, like some relatives of mine, we're hoping to trick them out of listening to this section because this will be overshared, go a bit off track because there is no track. That's why it's a to debrief no focusing required it's very

right very loose ruby i'm sure you've heard of the bloggies have you ever made it to a to debrief listening to our show no okay well that's fine well is this news to you a secret segment is that secret i love anything secret yeah i actually hope that most people don't make it to this point because i i'm not proud of this section of the show at all. Wink twice and I'll take all my clothes off. No, keep them on, please. Keep them on. And the reason is, like I was trying to say, I've just kick-started them now. Officially, we can take calls

on the show at this point. So, it's live. Everything is open. And we can actually do live tweets. So, people can tweet along live with the show. Oh, we got one. It's Jack, your co-host. Oh, Jack and Jim. He said, I intentionally didn't message you back on Tinder. He wasn't interested at all.

Oh, he just wasn't feeling you. Better than being ghosted after three dates, darling. Am I right? Can you explain to him that live tweeting and podcasts record before it's been released is not a thing? He's so... Do you know how it works? I don't know why he thinks it's funny.

People tweet the show in the hopes that they catch us when we're recording. But it's always relative to what we're talking about. That's your sister. Oh, she doesn't have anything nice to say. I didn't know she had Twitter. Yeah, she does. She says, yeah, of course I'd do you, bitch. That's what she just said.

That sounds like her. That's awful. She's been replaced by me. Truly tragic. Anyway, don't forget you can call us at any time. It's that easy. What's the number? 186-942-449-80396.

You know what we haven't done since we've been back? 402-849-632. Sorry, yeah, yeah. The number's different every time. Yeah, it's different. You know what we haven't done since we've been back? What? The chocolate wheel.

Of course you haven't done the chocolate wheel. Of course. Ruby, we do this thing, right, where we take live calls from a suburb in Australia and we have a wheel in the studio and they spin it and they win a prize. This is the only stupid gag of his that I actually play along with. I love it. Mitchell really likes it. So let's start the music up.

One second. Here we go. Let's go to... Who have we got on the line? We've got... Oh, Trent from Macedonia. Hi, Trent. Hey, Trent.

How are you? He's good. He's good. He can't talk. He's on speakerphone. Let's spin that wheel and win you a prize, Trent. Here we oh, Trent from Macedonia. Hi, Trent. Hey, Trent. How are you? He's good. He's good. He can't talk. He's on speakerphone. Let's spin that wheel and win you a prize, Trent. Okay. Here we go, Trent.

Spinning the wheel. One second. It's coming. Here we are. It's getting in. Come on, Trent. TikTok clown. There we go.

Spinning. And Jenna, what prize has he got? Trent, you have got yourself a hamster wheel. Well done, Trent. Hold on. I'm just reading the fine print. Life size. Hamster wheels, yes.

Brilliant. Ruby, why don't you give the wheel a spin and we'll take another call. I've got Lucinda. Spin. Okay. Well done, Luce. Oh, sorry. Luce.

Lucy. Here we go. Lucinda. What does she want, Jenna? You've landed on number... What is it? It's six, I can see. Six.

There we go, Jenna. What's number six? Six. Okay, let's see. Oh, a packet of stale biscuits. Wow. Yummy. They're arrowroot too.

The better they get, the more stale they are. Exactly. Snap straight off. We'll let you do the prize this time. All right, our final call for the day. Who have we got on the line, Mitch? We have Brenda. Brenda, welcome to the show.

Yeah, Brenda is in Coonabaston, which is a lovely little town. You know, I've been there and I got ravished by those fires. He also does this thing where he makes up fictional suburbs. Well, have you been there? Well, Coonabaston, that's that neighbouring town. It's north of Busselton. Yeah, I've been there. They have a wonderful golden brumby Chinese restaurant.

Busselton's real, by the way. Oh, really? I've taught a dance workshop in Busselton. Have you? In 2013, January. Wow. We did a coffee fit chicken to them.

We did. We pranked them and she shared it on her Facebook. What an icon. Yeah. There's not much going on in Busselton. Anyway, Brenda, right?

Yeah, Brenda. Spin the wheel. Hold on. You there, Brenda? I don't know what right? Yeah, Brenda. Spin the wheel. Hold on. You there, Brenda? I don't know what she's doing. I'll spin the wheel. Hold on. I can't.

I've got RSI. All right. We'll give you the number that it lands on. You've got the prize sheet in front of you, Ruby. It's on number 13. What has she won? A year nine emo prize pack, which is a gift voucher to JJ's. And it involves one pair of skinny leg jeans, an Elmo t-shirt, an emo prize pack, which is a gift voucher to JJ's.

And it involves one pair of skinny leg jeans, an Elmo T-shirt and a drawstring backpack. Wow. You can't forget the bloody badges for your backpack with skulls on them. And I'm going to throw in a big ribbon headband just to really take off with the sweeping fringe. And a Rick and Morty hoodie. That's what you find.

Sounds like the Easter show. It does Rick and Morty hoodie. That's what you find. Sounds like the Easter show. Doesn't it? Bloody exciting. That reminds me of the prizes I used to give away on Funniest Home Videos.

Also, I didn't know that Crow's Nest was the real place until I moved to Sydney. Really? That's where you always had to mail your funny home videos.

Lock bag, double nine seven, double nine seven, Crow's Nest. And I moved here and I was like, oh my God. What an icon,

Shelly Craft. Nah, I prefer the original Funniest Home Video Toys. You know that Tony chick? Tony! Tony! Tony lived in my street. I know Tony. I know Tony too.

And she was on that renovation show. She was. I saw her driving like a little, like, four-wheel drive Suzuki once. Did she have that car when she lived in your street? No, she didn't have an SX4, but she had a beautiful mum who I used to love. And she lived in Clarence Crescent. That was the street I grew up on. And her mum was so proud of her.

She was like, oh, she's doing this little theatre production and this and this and this. And then she was on Funniest Time Videos. She's got beautiful honey blonde streaks. We love her. And a thick eye line. She was on that Bushels ad. Remember that musical? How good's a Bushels?

I'm a big fan of a Bushels extra strong. On a Saturday morning. You know what? I've just gotten into Australian afternoon. Oh! That is my tea of choice. It's so good. Sometimes I have afternoon tea in the morning. I made a video about the Australian afternoon.

One thing you should know about me is that I'm really random. I have afternoon tea in the morning. Jesus. But they've really made that blend to perfection. What is it about the afternoon blend that's so much better than the morning one? It's richer. It's more round. It has a taste.

Undertones of gum tree. Absolutely. Sorry, but an English breakfast is bland as hell. I may as well just have soapy water. I just made you one. I'm so sorry. No, it's fine. Didn't realise you hated them.

Oh, Lipton black tea. What a lie. I know. It's pretty fucking disgusting. I still like it, but Australian afternoon is just like, they've just squeezed all the best bits of ghost gum into a glass. It's almost like two teas in one. Yeah.

Have you guys had the tea to Melbourne breakfast tea? It's beautiful. It's like vanilla-y and like, oh, it's so good. And then the Sydney breakfast tea is like smog, coward punches. It's no good. Casinos, corruption. And really expensive good. Casinos. Corruption. And really expensive rent. Oh, who's he?

Someone's at the door. Can you get it? I'll get it. One momento. Oh, fuck. We've brought in another drama student that's going to play along with the program. I hate this. Who is it?

She's opening the door. Oh, my God. You're here. Close the door. Goodness me. Who was it? Nanny Pat. Oh, she didn't come in.

No. She doesn't like seeing people. No. Not a people person. She doesn't know what they want. No. She doesn't like to see persons. No.

Oh, Nanny Pat. We've all got a nanny. I've got a nanny, Pat. Do you? Yeah. God. Do not open that door again. No, I don't want to.

Oh. Oh, again. Who is it? Go, Ruby. Go on. I'll get it. I'm closest to the God. Do not open that doorbell again. No, I don't want to. Oh, again. Who is it? Go, Ruby. Go on. I'll get it. I'm facing to the door. Cough button, everyone.

The wrong handle, Ruby. It's the wrong handle. Ruby. There we go. She's opened it. Next, we should play... What's another drama game? Space Jump.

Space Jump. Who was it? Shane Warne. What did he have to say? He he said he's been stalking me since i left chippendale and he said why haven't i replied i said sorry you're in my request box i didn't see you when were you in chippendale before coming here oh right is that where you live now yeah oh okay that makes sense so if anyone lives in the area, hit up my request folder. Did you go to UTS as well?

Yep. Yeah, we used to work around that Chippendale area. It's the best place to, like, in terms of lunch breaks. Fuck me. Something for Jess? Coffee? Did you ever go there? Yep, I'm a fan of that. I go every morning. I sit up next to the barista and have a one-hour conversation with the barista

every day. About what? I don't know. Sky's looking good. How good's the weather? That light goes really fucking fast. You see people hobbling over the road on Abercrombie Street. I'm the mayor of Chippendale.

Literally nothing to do. Speaking of small talk, there was a video of yours on your Instagram I found so funny. I reposted it on Kiss. It was like every half-assed conversation. And it was raining in Sydney. It was like, of yours on your Instagram I found so funny. I reposted it on Kiss. It was like every half-assed conversation and it was raining in Sydney. I was like, how does the rain? I hope it goes where it needs to go. I have been stopped in the street. You have not. Have you?

Yes. Just because I reposted you on Kiss. I have been stopped in the street at Central Park Mall. Really? A lady came up to me and said, are you the girl who was on Instagram talking about, the rain go here? And she reenacted the whole thing. I said, yes.

What else is it again? It's like, oh, I hope it ends the drought right now. I hope it stops the drought right now. And there was one for every half-hour conversation, when it's hot. Oh, hot enough for you? The only time I like going to Westfield, uh-huh. How can I see you in Westfield?

No, seriously, I have to thank you for that because the amount of effort I put into videos is like days. I chop and change. Really? I write the script. I don't write the script. I just go off it. This video, I fucking filmed it in two seconds, whacked it up.

Bacterial. Influenza. It's funny. Less is more. Jesus. Less is more when it comes to videos online. It's just got to be relatable, doesn't it? Jesus.

I open my phone. I rant about something that I don't realise is relatable at the time. And then it blows up. For the first time the other day, someone says to me, you're that guy from TikTok. And I was like, oh, no, I can't be that person. You've just re-shared your old videos on TikTok. That's all you've done.

I was like, oh, I've got to get 21st century. I've got to get amongst the TikTok. Got to get amongst the TikTok. Got to play where the cool kids play. And so I just ripped a couple of videos that did well on Facebook and Instagram in the past. Like months old. Put them on TikTok and they've had a bloody resurgence. Yeah, well, you're a smart man. You know what I mean?

I'm a lazy man. But also, I've been learning the dances on TikTok. Oh, I've seen you do that. You're great on TikTok. Do you have an account? Oh, I just got it on Saturday because I was feeling sick and sorry for myself, so I thought I'd do a little TikTok dance. I just followed you.

I've got one follower, James Anthony from Punky, my one fan. He does the Batchy recaps. Oh, yeah. So I just got TikTok to follow him because he's a fucking genius. I accidentally followed you with the Kyle and Jackie O account, but it's fine. I'll leave it. I don't even follow me.

I want to get TikTok. Mitch, we said last week we were going to do one, but we never did it. Should we do it now? Yeah, we could. I love doing the dances. You know what I thought we could do instead of the dance? I thought we could do something that we've done on the show. We do that thing.

Remember how we were talking about if newsreaders disagree with each other? You know how a news person at the desk throws to a reporter and the reporter always starts with, yes, that's right. We were talking about what it would be like if they got their wires crossed and they said, no, that's not right. And so we should do that as a TikTok. No, that's not right. I'll be the newsreader.

You guys be the reporters. Okay. Jenna, can you film? Or you can be a No, that's not right. I'll be the newsreader. You guys be the reporters. Okay. Jenna, can you film? Or you can be a reporter as well if you like. I'll film. Here. Shut this. Maybe go where Ruby is and just film in front of me.

I'm filming. Am I filming? No time like the present, Jenna. So I'm on the field. Yeah. But we have to do it like bit by bit. Yeah, of course. Is it like those ads where you hold it down for the first bit and then you...

And then you stop, Ruby? Is that how it works? Yeah, you can do that. Hold on, I've got TikTok. I've got 35 followers. Okay, do I look like a newsreader? Does my hair look newsreader enough? You actually look more like a newsreader than anyone in this room.

Obviously, that's why I'm doing the role. True. Give me a news story, not something that's like time sensitive. Shitting in the shower. No, something that a news reporter would... On the scene of the earthquake in the town centre. Oh, that's time sensitive. Shitting in the shower. No, it's something that amuses water. On the scene of the earthquake in the town centre. Oh, that's not funny. Oh, there's been a lion escape from the Taronga Park Zoo.

Paul Barry. Yeah, and you believe the situation is under control. Okay. Do a 3-2-1 countdown jenna okay actually what can your reporter name be do you want me to do it on tiktok or on camera yes do it on tiktok oh yeah come on mitch creature of habit i don't know how to tiktok do you want 15 or 60 oh 60 or probably yeah let's do 60 it was very funny. Couldn't possibly squeeze it into 15. No, okay. What could your newsreader name be?

Just make me Craig Acosta. Okay. Okay. Three, two... And we cross live now to reporter Craig Acosta, who was at the scene of a lion escape at Sydney's Thronger Zoo. And Craig, fortunately, zookeepers were able to prevent further lions escaping. All right. Nailed that.

One take, one to Coombs. Don't call me that for nothing. I've got to be quick, don't I? Okay, so when you pick up my shot, you have to do that like a couple of seconds of nodding, like the earpieces has a delay. Your name is, let's just say Lucinda. Okay.

Tell me that. Go ahead. Okay. Tell me that. Go ahead. Okay. No, Lucinda, unfortunately, we're now getting reports that there are 12 lions loose. Three of my close colleagues have passed. I don't know where you're getting your information, but I believe I'm in for a long night. Back to you in the studio. When you swap

the line away. Oh, they're going to wonder why the newsreader's got RSI. I know, true. What did I say? What's your story going to be? Think of a reason I throw to you. I've lost my mum.

Have you seen her? We separated at the zoo. The flood, I reckon,. We separated at the zoo. The flood. I reckon do the flood at the town centre. This is her skit. Sorry. She can decide. No, what am I going to do?

What's the news story I'm going to throw to you with? What could it be? A building collapse in the CBD. What do I say? It's up to you. Oh, my God. I don't know. Okay. Okay, go.

Should I do the building collapse? Yeah. What should her name be? Rachel Bilson. Okay, Rachel Bilson, done. Okay. Three, two, one. Wait.

Rachel Bilson. Three. I'll say, and we're going to a building collapse. Correct. Could we also, Toad? going to a building collapse. Correct. Who are you so tired? She just hit herself in the head. Ruby just whacked herself in the face with her iPhone 11. Yes, we do, we do.

Okay, I'll say building collapse and what can my question be? Building collapse and I understand that there's been no injuries. And then that's when, Ruby, you go, no, it's actually horrific. Many people are injured, several. No, but don't tell her what to say. I'm sorry, just so she gets the concept. I need the concept. All right, I'll come up with a concept.

All right, let's do it. Ready? Three, two. Dear, oh, dear, Craig, my mistake. Let's go live now to Rachel Budden, who is at the scene of a heritage-listed building collapse that's devastated the Sydney community. Rachel, thankfully, everybody did get away safely.

Brilliant take. Thank you. All right, let's go, Rubes. How long do we have, Jenna, so we know? I don't know, because we're doing it in... Oh, okay. All right, all right. Yeah, this could well go over the 60-second mark.

All right, let's go. I'll go quick. Yeah. Tell me when. Yeah. Jenna, you're over the 60 second mark. All right, let's go. I'll go quick. Tell me when. Yeah. Jenna, you're fucked. Just say action. Go, action.

Are you going to tell me when, darling? We're waiting for you to say action, Jenna. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know what? I'll say it. I'll say it. Okay.

Action. Oh. Jenna will say action. Action. No, no. Listen, that was incorrect. It was a Portman's at Pitt Street. Yes, you know the one where crusty middle-aged women stampeded

the front door when they noticed the pyjamas had gone sale at 80% off. Unfortunately, no one has been left with any eyeballs because they're all clawed out. Back to you guys in the studio. Great. Brilliant. Alright, we need to get the fuck out of here. Let's go. We have a game to play as well

and I organised it. We just tiktok'd can you stand it? I've got a fucking show to do in 45 minutes. What do you have on tonight? Oh, I've got an edit. Something. Can I quickly play one round of the game? Winner takes all? I've got a fucking show to do in 45 minutes. What do you have on tonight? Oh, I've got to edit something. Okay. Can I quickly play one round of the game? Yes, of course. It's just winner takes all.

I've set it up for the day. I've got nothing to do. But you can't then bitch to us about, oh my God, we've gone away too long. No, I know. You're the one delaying it now. I put all the effort into it and we played a game at the end of last week's show and everyone loved it, so I made this for you, Ruby. Thank you, my darling.

Today's game is... Who used to call me on my cell phone? Hotline. Okay, so I'm going to play like an old-fashioned Nokia ringtone, but it's of a song that you'll know and love. First person to buzz in using your name gets a point. I love this. This is a Motorola Razr, okay? It's on your desk.

Your phone rings. This is your ringtone. Buzz in with your name first. Oh, my internet too. You three, my phone. Not me, not me. You were looking at her the whole time. So I'm just, I'm adoring her. Me and Ruby have something going on.

We're back, we're back, Gemma. Okay, here we go. Okay, here we go. Ruby! No, you don't have a D, you don't have a D! Is there another one? Yeah, also I don't have a correct sound effect. Sorry, that's Siri. What do you mean you don't have a correct sound effect. Sorry, that's Siri.

What do you mean you don't have a correct sound effect? I'm on a different sound effect. Whoa. Well done. All right. One point to Roopstar. Ladies and gents, that was very well done. How are we scoring this?

How do we win? I'm keeping score, but now I've lost the page. See, I didn't need a correct sound effect. Oh, I miss all that high-tech equipment. You can just search correct sound effect and drag it onto the other button bar. He didn't go to after city, Ruby. I actually didn't. No, I didn't study at all.

Clearly. Okay, here we go, ladies and gents. This is question number two. Ruby! Barbie girl! Jenna! Barbie girl Barbie girl Yeah Oh sorry girl

But if you dish it out Always know I'm always hungry If Ruby gets this next one She's won For God's sake Here we go I don't understand how that

Oh it's first of three Yeah Gotcha Ready Annie are you okay Are you okay Are you okay Annie You've been hit by

You've been struck by a smooth criminal and two people sung it. Michael Jackson and, oh, what's that band? Oh, that. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You've done it. Well done. Smooth criminal Ruby Tease.

Thank you. This is just a superlative, okay? So this is just an extra. I had it. I made it. Let's play it. Should I be in it or should it be those two? You should be between those two because I know you'll know it.

Ready? This is like a participation award, Jenna. Jenna! This was on last week. You're cheating. Yeah. Skateboard. Well done, Jenna. You've won.

She got that one last week. All right. We need to get out of here. It's been a pleasure. Siri, have you enjoyed the show? Yes. Well done. Glad she has.

Well, like we said, at Ruby Tees, like keys with a T on Instagram, plus the Great Australian Debate Up Late podcast. And also I play Mercedes Corby in the Chappelle Chappelle musical that's going to Adelaide if you're around. There you go. Is it going to Adelaide? Yeah, March 11th. Brilliant.

We'll get you kids. Fuck yeah. But there's going to be a Sydney show too, so hold your horses, everyone. Also TikTok phenomenon. That TikTok will be up, I'm sure. I hope I did a good job. I feel like that was a pretty fucking risque answer. Yeah, there was a lot going on. Oh, everyone. Also, TikTok phenomenon. That TikTok will be up, I'm sure. I hope I did a good job. I feel like that was a pretty fucking risque answer. Yeah, there was a lot going on. Oh, well.

What can you do? They're all young on TikTok. Oh, my mum. You win some, and you win some more. Correct. Couldn't agree more. Is that right, Siri? Yeah. Okay, let's get out of here, guys. We'll see you next week. Thanks for hanging out with us once again. We'll catch you soon. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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