Is It Just Me? - #162: Ablehblehbleh

Episode Date: October 1, 2023

Brace yourself for a manic snap. Stick around.   In this episode: It’s Churi’s birthday! (00:37) Being your friend group’s photographer (12:42) A psychic predict’s Churi’s love life (18:43) Roving-reporter Oscar tries the new Milo McFlurry at Maccas (29:25) An update on Coombs’ lost glasses (41:37) 'Silly Goose era' dares (48:21) Churi’s performance of Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefani (56:25) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (1:05:08)   Hit us up: @coupleofmitches Send us a text: 0422 948 202See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you! Hello you! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Did you know this? An apple has the same caffeine as a full one-shot coffee. Bullshit. Are you serious? Yeah, I'm going to Google it now.

What is it? It says there is no caffeine in our house. Now here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coombs. Sorry, my mic wasn't on. Oh, my God. You've got one job, mate. Oh, my God. How are you?

Happy birthday, you. Oh, thank you. I've never done that. Wow, I turned 28 and my brain goes to shit. 28? Wow. Yeah. How do you feel about that? I actually genuinely thought you were Wow, I turned 28 and my brain goes to shit. 28, wow. Yeah. How do you feel about that?

I actually genuinely thought you were 29, by the way. Go fuck yourself. No, I just thought you were turning 29. No, we're like one year apart, you and I. Yeah. Not two. I'm 28. Which is why, because I'm 27, I thought you were 28 already.

Oh, got it. Yeah, no, there's that weird overlap where we're the same age for a little bit. As fleeting as it is. It is, yeah. It's a couple of months. But no, it feels okay. You know, this is the same age for a little bit. As fleeting as it is. It is, yeah. It's a couple of months. But no, it feels okay. You know, this is the first birthday that I feel older. Really?

Yeah, I feel like there's been a definite tide that has turned in my brain mentally. I was reading a study. Wow, that's how you know I'm old. I was reading a study. And it wasn't in like a leather-bound book or anything. I love a study chat. Go on. It was online.

That apparently your brain actually doesn't develop fully until you hit 30, between 30 and 31. Oh, okay. Which is good. So it makes me still feel like – Dude, I better be careful the next few years then. Yeah, all those vapes you suck down, making your brain mush. Yeah, good, good.

No, yeah, I feel good. Well, gorgeous. Will this make you feel even better than you already do? Hang on. Where's me prezzy? Oh, no. I didn't expect anything. Oh, of course.

I wasn't ready at all, but I do have this. Just I assumed you'd bring it up, so I had it ready to go. Are you going to grab your present for him too, Prizekeeper Jenna? Oh, she actually does have something. Oh, stop. Mine's not wrapped up. That's all right. Well, I will say.

You can go first, Jenna. The real prize is having Prizekeeper Jenna back after what seems like a resignation. Mitch and I were so worried. We were on LinkedIn and Seek ready to hire someone. Yeah, I saw that. We both left him hanging one week. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Sorry about that. That's fine. I'm okay. I'm all right. Shit presents! Yeah, go Jenna. Your present in celebration of your journey, weight loss journey, your personal journey, I got you this. Oh, thank you.

It's a book. It's a journal. Do it for yourself. Oh, my God, I love that. Yes, I saw it on TikTok and I thought it would be a cool present. Oh. So you can write something in it. Did you actually get that?

I was about to accuse you of just grabbing that from the pile of free books that gets sent to the station. Hold on, I've just opened it up and it says, To Amanda Keller, enjoy this book. No, I've got proof. Oh, she does too. Oh, Jenna. She fucking knew we'd accuse her.

It's so sweet. Embarking on a new project, planning your future, were you fat and now kind of just fat? It's perfect for me. Oh, my God. So do I write in this, do you think? Yeah, you write in it. Oh, that's really sweet.

Are you going to be bothered to do that? Yeah, no, because trust me, I'm doing the self-help. I've got an app where I journal every day. Oh, no. You've got to do the written one. I think this will be handy. That's what my therapist said, our therapist, the show therapist, said that I should handwrite it.

It's better for the brain. This is perfect. Oh, Jenna, that is really thoughtful. Thank you. Are you ready for my present? Yes. Okay, so I picked up a few little things when I was in Brisbane because by coincidence, how good is this?

They happen to be having their Pride Fair Day thing. Oh, yeah. Nice. You know, the bloody, the gay fate that they have. Yeah. And so I picked up a few little things for you. I'm just going to, I'm going to give them to you one at a time. Okay.

So they're all in a, they're in a beautiful bag. Yes. You're going to take them out. Yeah. I think it's better if I do it this way. I'll give it to you one at a time. So the first one, this one came from Flagships. It was their store.

There you go. It's just a little, a gay candle. There you go. Beautiful. I love a gay candle. Can't go wrong with a candle. It's got like different colours of the rainbow. Apparently every colour of wax smells different,

so it just becomes this gorgeous gay fruity blend. Oh, I love that so much. Yeah. Oh, that's gorgeous. Red on top though, that'll be dramatic when it melts down onto Oh, I love that so much. Yeah. Oh, that's gorgeous. Red on top, though. That'll be dramatic when it melts down onto the table. So that's the nice present. Uh-huh.

And then I wandered over to the Craft Rebellion store. Oh, my. Very me. And this caught my eye. I thought, I better get that for Mitch while he's in his slut era. There you go. Oh, what is this? What is it?

What is it? It's a towel. And it says, thank you, please come again. It's a cum rag! Yeah, it's not really a towel. It's a cum rag specifically. It's a cum rag! That's a good gift. Oh, that's so funny.

Would you ever actually use that or would that be off-putting? It would depend on whose cum I was wiping. What else can you use that for? You can't use that as a tea towel, can you? Can you please come and get it? It's the perfect size for a cum rag. Put that on the bed. You can go on top of it.

And it's thin too. That's really cool. Oh, is it thin? No, but no, it's what you want. Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a god, yeah. You don't want it to leak through to the sheets though.

No, it's lightweight. Yeah, okay. Or I could make it my gym towel and use it ironically. Yes, actually, that's funny. Do that. That's very funny to just be wiping my sweat and all the old ladies at Vision carrying Bartigo. How do they spell cum on there?

Cum. C-U-M. Okay, all right. Like jizz. Yeah, right. Oh, I love that. That's so fun. So does that mean I'm just going to have to have this under my pillow next to my Peter

Alexander's? That's up to you. What goes on in your bedroom stays in the bedroom. I don't want to hear it. I'll put it in the top drawer next to the cockering and the lube. Perfect. The whore drawer. That's where you keep it.

Yeah, the whore drawer. Yeah. And now this next one. Still at the Craft Rebellion store. Oh, wow. I spotted this and I said, I'll take that, please, because I thought that's bloody perfect. Yeah. And she said, sorry, that's just a display model.

We're doing back orders at the moment because they're so popular. Oh. And I said, well, how long is it going to take to get to me? And she said, oh, maybe two to three weeks. And this is literally the first time in my life that I've pulled a bit of a, don't you know who I am? Yeah, of course. I was like, well, I host a podcast.

And so if I pay for Express, can you get it to me by Thursday? Because I need it. It's perfect for my co-host. And God bless her. She did it. So we love the Craft Rebellion. We love them. Also, can I just say, I'm learning a lot about myself.

That's my love language. All that work and effort that you put into getting me a gift makes me so loved, makes me feel so loved. It got to me by Tuesday, by the way. Oh, good for her. Express from Brisbane to Sydney takes no time at all. And so this is it. Okay, yeah. You know how you love those bloody stuffed toy things.

What are they called? Squish Mellows. The Squish Mellows. called? Squishmallows. The Squishmallows. So forget Squishmallows. I'd like to introduce you to Wilbur, the emotional support penis. Oh, that is beautiful. Give me him. Oh, my God.

That is beautiful. It's a gay furry penis. Yeah, it's a little stuffed animal, I guess. It's actually very accurately sized for me. Jenna, look, it's a little stuffed animal, I guess. Oh, I don't know. It's actually very accurately sized for me. Jenna, look, it's rainbow. Oh, it's so cute. It's got a little Wilbur's face on it.

Isn't it cute? Oh, I love it so much. Apparently Wilbur's in high demand. Really? Understandable. Oh, these are beautiful gifts. Thank you, guys. Oh, pleasure.

Can you understand why I thought of you instantly when I saw, A, the cum rag, and B, the fucking Wilbur emotional support penis? Most definitely. Yeah. Yeah, because I'm pulling. I'm also not that much of a slut. I've just told the stories on the show that makes me sound like one, but really. Yeah, no, I know.

No one's slut-shaming in this house. We wouldn't dare. No, no, no. Definitely. Imagine if that's why Jenna had been absent for two weeks, because she was repulsed. Yeah, I was disgusted. Couldn't bring herself to look at me, because she's secretly been in love.

Yeah. You were in love with Mitch. I was in love with you. Oh, my God. We all should just have sex with each other. It's a love triangle. I don't think he ever said he was in love with me. He just wanted to pork me.

I wasn't in love with you. Which is, he's only human. I understand. Of course. But you know me. One porking and I'm in love. Very easy to fall for. Although not lately.

Oh, no. You've grown. I have love. Although not lately. Oh, no. You've grown. I have grown. Thank you. Thank you, guys. That's very sweet. You know, I was truthfully very anxious about this birthday. Why?

I don't know. I was just like, you know, I'm such like a lovey person and I love being around people and my friends and my family and then also not having a partner for the first time in five years like you know me for my birthday the last couple years i've done nothing i've just like hung out with my ex and that's all i wanted so then now that's like my comfort place and i'm like i can't do it and if i don't i'll do nothing unless i force myself to go out with friends so you've got your whole bloody family at home that'd be spoiling you you couldn't even be lonely on

your birthday if you tried i know but i just't want, I was like, my gut was telling me to push everyone away and do nothing. Oh. Yeah, I don't know why. No, you always regret that. Yeah. Every time I'm like, oh, I won't make a fuss for my birthday this year. Once the birthday rolls around, I'm like, oh, it's a bit depressing not doing anything

to celebrate, isn't it? Where the fuck is everyone? Yes, exactly. But they've all asked. I'm like, I'm not doing anything. And I go, where the fuck is everybody? Yeah. But I am throwing a house party, which you two are coming to.

Yes. Well, remains to be seen if Jenna will rock up, but I'll be there. I've been attending everything I've been invited to lately. Really? You've turned to leave? Yes. Ever since I moved. You've started journaling?

Yeah. Do you actually do it too? The journaling? No. Yeah. I bought a journal, but I wrote one page. No, I'm going to fill this out. I've got about 40 fucking blank journals floating around my house.

They come as like freebies. Oh, yeah. Oh, with a PR. Yeah, I know. I've got an Amazon Prime. I've got a Stan Australia one. I've got a Wentworth journal. Yeah.

I think I've got an Oval Teenager. I've got a pen pals in prison. All right. Thank you, guys. That's lovely. It's a pleasure. Now, listen, coming up today. Oh, please don't say a message from my ex-boyfriend like you did that one birthday.

Oh. Oh, thank God. Why would I do such a thing? That'd be funny if just automatically it was set to roll out on my birthday episode and we didn't plan it. It was just an automated system. I'm not that much of a shit, sir. Go on. So we throw to the ads, hi, Mitch, it's your cunt ex-boyfriend.

Oh, that would be very funny. But no, trauma is real. No, that's not on the way. Trauma is real. Thanks. Well, firstly, we've got a few things to follow up on from last week's episode. You've been trying to learn a song off my heart. I've been struggling.

No, don't give it away. I've got faith in you, Jenny. You weren't here for this. No. I'm just as much feeling you in as anyone else. We were also asking people to send in stories of when they lost things and they were magically found because I lost my brand new glasses. Yeah. And also

people were sending in dares for me to do because my therapist told me I need to be more playful for the sake of my mental health. Yeah, he's got to be a silly goose. Oh, a silly goose. Yeah. And also a bit of an announcement, if you like, about, let's just say, the future of the team here at Is It Just Me. A few people will be excited about this, I feel. Yeah.

That's all. Watch your back, Jenna. Are you getting rid of me? Well, we'll explain it properly later. We're not going to say getting rid of. Yeah. No, no, no. But changes. I was only starting to. Yeah. No, no, no. But changes.

I was only starting to enjoy it. No, no, Jen. Bullshit. You've been away for two weeks. Screw you. I was disgusted. Well, a lot's happening on the show. If it is your first time listening, welcome to Is It Just Me?

Every week we start the show the same way. I am giving gifts. That's how the show starts every week. I mean, in the last two weeks I've brought you fucking souvenirs and now it's your birthday i know a lot of gift giving to you selfish we start the show with two idioms and is it just me each something that we've noticed something we hate or appreciate mitch doesn't know my idiom i don't know his gossip ensues and that's the show did you find your souvenir jenner i bought that for you last week i love it and everyone's been asking me about it oh good i left it on our desk when I left.

Yeah, nice. Anyway, should we get into it? Yeah, why not? Why not? I can go first. Mine's sort of a nothing, but it is something this week that I've been- What a way to sell it. Mine's nothing.

Well, it's my birthday. Imagine Natalie Barr on Sunrise being like, coming up. Ah, forget it. It's nothing. True, actually. Sorry. I should be more invested. Coming up, my IJM is something that I've noticed and it's kept me up at night. And I'm now medicated because it's given me that much.

Medicated? It's given me that much severe grief. A hemorrhoid? Oh, I've just had my first hemorrhoid. Me too. What the fuck? Me too. No way.

How is yours? Is yours fixed? Oh, I've got it under control. It's all good. Good. Mine's gone back up, but mine under control. It's all good. Good. Mine's gone back up, but mine was horrific. It was a really tense weekend. I said, sorry, Sean, I can't have sex.

I'm on my rags. I was literally bleeding from the ass. Touch your own horn, Sean. Oh, you were bleeding. Mine didn't burst. Oh, because I'm an idiot. I thought it was like a pimple. I thought I could just squeeze it.

Mitchell! No, please. It's a blood vessel. Oh, yuck. I feel sick. It's fine now. Don't worry. But I thought I could just squeeze it. Mitchell! No, please. It's a blood vessel. Oh, yuck. I feel sick. It's fine now. Don't worry. But I had my rags all weekend.

Mine did go away, but mine didn't burst. Yeah, no, mine's fine now. You know some people have to get surgery and they get cauterised. Oh, God. I'm glad it didn't come to that. No. Anyway. Sorry.

Should we start with my or is it just me? Yeah, go for it. When you're ready. Let's jump in. Is it just me or? Do you need to make some new friends that are actually good at taking fucking photos? Oh, if this is. Because I do.

No, if this is you in any way, shape or form coming for my friendship, I'm great at photo taking. I don't know if you've ever taken one of me though. No, because we're always in them together because people want photos of the two of us. Of course, that ups the price. I've not put your photo taking to the test, but I've just really noticed that I give it my all when I'm taking a photo of someone. You do. I go full photographer mode.

You do. Never get it in return. I saw this video on Instagram the other day from, oh, the guy's name was like Brand Flakes or something. Sure. And I thought, wow, that just sums it up perfectly. Take a listen to that. Listen, I don't care if you're a stranger on the street or my best friend.

If you ask me to take a photo of you, I am giving you my full commitment. I'm sorry. Could you take a few more? Babe, don't be sorry. You trusted me as your photographer and there's no way in hell I'm going to let you down. I'm now a part of your team and you better believe I'm staying until the routine is clean. Oh, yeah. That's me as fuck.

100% it's me. I'm so thorough with my directions. I'll be getting down on one knee to get the perfect angle I'll be shouting out things like Laugh at the sole of my shoe, go And they'll go And then look really smiley and gorgeous Or if you're standing next to me behind the camera for example

While I'm taking it I'll be like laugh at Cheery's belly button So they get a bit of a downy Funny, I'll cry at home And I'll be like tilt your right shoulder a little bit towards me I get so thorough and I get these gorgeous photos. Majority of my friends, their profile pictures

are photos that I took because I'm great. Really? And yet when I hand the phone over and say, can you get one of me? Dog shit. Trash. Fucking dog shit. Trash. I'm always taking photos of others, but there's nothing of me. Oh, Mitchell. I know. I actually disagree. What? I think you have great photos because in the last couple of weeks,

I've noticed that you've upped your photo game. Really? You had your shows in Brisbane and the photos on stage, you looked great. I noticed your quad was popping and I thought that was a good photo. That's not a plural. That is one photo. I wanted to do like a montage of all these different photos.

There was one fucking good one. Oh, so you're talking in a photo session you want options. Yes, of course. Half of them I look shit. Can, so you're talking in a photo session you want options. Yes, of course. Half of them I look shit. Can I show you one of the ones that I got? Yeah. And no one ever gives me directions. Show me.

Like, oh, just change this, do that. No one ever gives me feedback as we're doing it. And so they just blindly take photos. I look shit and they don't tell me. Look. Oh, dear. Look at that one. Who the fuck takes that photo and then just hands back the phone and goes,

there you go, that's a nice one. That looks like behind the scenes of The Lord of the Rings. You know how I was really excited about the Wicked premiere a couple of weeks ago on this podcast? Yeah, you made us leave the show early so you could go. I don't know why I bothered getting all dressed up, getting a new outfit. I do not have one good photo to show from it. Oh, my God.

But I don't blame anyone in particular. It's just the lighting inside the theatre is shocking. And so I got all these atrocious photos of me and then I posed for, like, several cameras on the media wall and those photos, it is off into the abyss. I don't know where the fuck those photos go. I've never – I've not been sent them. Oh, my God.

They go to Getty Images. But unless you're explicitly a gigantic star, they don't tag you. So you've got to spend hours like filtering through. It's hell on earth. No, but like it wasn't even the photographer for Getty because I was that desperate for one good photo at Wicked and he just flat out said, I messaged him and said, did you get one?

I don't care if you didn't upload it to Getty. Yeah. Just do you have one so I can post it? And he goes, I didn't take one of you. I was just walking down that carpet and he goes, who the fuck's that woman? I'm not taking a photo of her. I don't have any nice photos from that night. You looked gorgeous.

I sent to Jenna a message. But I also blame the lighting at the Lyric Theatre, to be fair. Well, at my birthday party this weekend, Mitchell, here's my oath to you. I will get a good photo of you on my fucking birthday. Doing what? Just being hot. Okay. I will commit to you as a friend.

Let's do a challenge. I don't know how to pose in some photos. I find that awkward. Yeah, but the thing is you're with me. You know when you feel awkward? I feel awkward sometimes in front of a group of people watching, trying different poses because it feels so obnoxious. But with me, I don't care.

Do as many as you want. Yeah, but I don't know how to pose. That's why I need someone giving directions. You need to start mewing. What? Oh, yeah. I've heard about mewing. Oh, you're not across mewing?

No. Okay. I'm going to smile, non-mewing, and then smile, mewing. You tell me if you know the difference. Okay. Now I'm going to mew. I don't know what you're doing. Okay.

Pay attention to my jaw closely. Non-mewing. Mewing. I can't see a difference. Oh, really? If anything, I thought it was about the eyes, because the second pose, you had these massive eyes looking at me, like staring at me with these wide eyes. That's because everything was clenched because you clench your jaw muscles. Ready?

I feel like you can tell when people are doing that shit. They look uncomfortable. You know? You can tell that they're not truly at ease. Well, Mitchell, I oath, I vow to you, that's the word, that I will, if I'm ever with you, I will look after your photos for you. That's my promise as a friend. Okay.

When are we ever together? We are. Also, I was so upset that one weekend you get spiked is the one weekend we're not together. I would have protected you. Oh, my God. Did I tell you? One of our darling idiots messaged me. You missed out on this, Jenna.

Mitchell was spiked. Yeah. That's very upsetting. There's no fucking proof, but we suspect my drink was spiked. Yeah. That's very upsetting. There's no fucking proof, but we suspect my drink was spiked. Yes. And one of our darling idiots named Nicole messaged me and said, Hi, Mitchell. I saw you that night and I just knew something was wrong

because you weren't well. You were fucking munted. And her friend that she was with started filming me from a distance and then you see in this video which she sent me, our darling Nicole just jumps in front of the camera like no don't film him don't embarrass him there's something going on clearly like she fucking saved the day i was like god you've got my back love her i'll show you the video generally it's really funny because she blocks like and you can tell how fucking tanked i am too by the way

yeah yeah he's absolutely she's so lovely isn't she a She's trying her hardest. What do you mean trying her hardest? To protect you. I mean, you're still in the shot. And you're very monthed. She's succeeded. Yeah, yeah, but you still do see you. Yeah, very briefly. And I don't look well.

No, you don't look well. No, you really don't. I'll post that video in the Facebook group. Please, please do it. Put it up. It's called Enduring Idiots if you're not on board yet. Yes, Enduring Idiots with an E and an I for idiots. Shall we jump in to mine?

Sure, let's go. Let's go. Ah, everybody is. Shall we jump in to mine? Sure, let's go. Let's go. Is it just me or? Are you not sold on psychics?

Oh, it depends on the psychic. You've been to one. I've never been to one. But let me tell you. I've been to two now. Yeah, you went to the one at the, was she at the airport? No, that was the massager. Yeah. No, I went to one at at the – was she at the airport? No, that was the massager. Yeah. No, I went to one at Mindle Beach Sunset Markets in Darwin.

She's the one that told me very, very specifically that I was going to work as an entertainer on cruise ships. Wow. I was going to own property in France and I was going to have two children who weren't white with Sean. That's specifically what she told me. Really specific. Fair enough, yeah.

Well, I've never been to one. However, I've gotten a psychic reading this week. With who? My friend, Brittany, who I host The Pickup with on my radio show. Is she a psychic now? No, no, no. She went to a psychic in Scotland. And apparently two minutes into the reading, they were having coffee and he sipped his coffee and then he pulled his chair back and went, you've got a gay friend that you host a radio show with. And Brittany went, yes. Google could tell you that.

And then, well, no. And then Brittany went, yes. And he went, he is going to find love very soon. And Brittany went, really? And he went, yes. And this man is someone already known to him. You're looking at him, baby. I was looking at Jenna as I said that.

Mitch has finally cottoned on to the fact that I want him. So that's my point, that apparently my next lover is already in my life and I already know him. Is that exciting? I've got like four twinks on the guy, so it could be any of them. Well, no, no. One passed away and the other one's got osteoporosis, so we've stopped talking.

I don't know. But no, to me, that means a friend. To me, that doesn't mean someone that I'm dating. Right. Because I'm dating a couple people. So you don't trust a psychic, though? No. I'm worried about it. I just don't believe it. And I also don't believe that you can I don't know the friends to romance pipeline. I've never had that experience.

Like I only target people romantically and then court them and then turn them into something. I don't think I could go from friend to relationship. I don't think I have that skill to turn it into something more. It depends on the person and whether you're willing to risk ruining the friendship because if you break up, you can't go back to being friends. True. That's very true. Well, I'm sure some people can, but I don't. It sounds easier said than done.

Oh, I don't think I could do it. Absolutely not. It would be really weird after that. But do you think, is there anyone in my life you think, oh, I can't think of anyone that fits the bill? I can't think of anyone either. No. Who would it be?

I don't know, but they're in my life apparently. I know them. Isn't that crazy? Oh, and I will say, this psychic, Brittany saw him about six months ago and he said, Mitch, your radio co-host, is going to break up with his boyfriend. Why is this guy fucking obsessed with you? Why is he obsessed with you? I don't know. I must have strong juju. Why do you keep going through to him and hijacking her fucking reading? During Britt's session. And Britt goes, that's how you know it's real. Because why would he bring you up? There's no reason to bring you up. I'm paying

him money for a session. Anyway, he said Mitch is going to break up with his boyfriend. There's bad stuff happening there and Mitch will break up with him. It sounds like he has researched prior because psychics don't just blurt out full names. They'll go, I'm getting an M. I'm getting an M. What's the significance of the letter M? No, no.

He didn't say Mitch. He said your co-host. Actually, the way he got onto me was it was really funny. I actually have the audio. Should I play it for you? Oh, she recorded it? Yeah. So Brit sent me this audio. This is six months ago.

Right. But when I was still with my ex. Okay. This is what he told her. We'd never met him. This is the first time she met him. Have a listen. And it's funny.

He's the problems with an ender Antonio. Or the problems with his atonial in his foot. And I'm drawn to my left foot. I don't know. I didn't catch a fucking word of that. He's got a heavy Irish accent. He's got a problem with his ingrown toenails. And I do.

I've got two ingrown toenails. I couldn't understand anything. Yeah, I didn't get a word of that. Listen again. And it's funny. He's got problems with an ingrown toenail. Or problems with his atonial in his foot. And I'm drawn to my left foot. Who the fuck's

Antonio? He's saying he's got a problem. What's he saying? And it's funny, he's got problems with an ingrown toenail. Oh, I caught a problem with an ender Antonio. Oh, I caught it that time.

A toenail in his foot. A toenail in his foot. As opposed to a toenail in your fucking earlobe. Wow, this guy's real switched on. You're listening to Is It Just Me? Got something on your mind? Hit up at coupleofmitches on Instagram to get yourself on the show. All right, let's chat to a listener. Chat to an idiot.

I think it's only time that we get someone on for an is-it-just-you-of-their-own, something they've noticed, they hate or appreciate. It's just like our regimes, Mitch. Yeah, it's pretty straightforward. And if you want to get on the show with your own, you can DM us at coupleofmitches or us a text. 0422 948 202. Yeah, why not? Text us.

I mean, we're paying for fucking credit on this phone, the Inja line, so we may as well use it. Mitch and I have to go to Coles once a month to the cigarette counter and go, hi, can we get some $24 dodo credit? And it comes out on a receipt and then we've got to type it into our phone. It's a whole thing. You know how I love to Google the town of wherever our caller is living in? Yeah. I love to do a quick stalk of where they come from. I don't have to today.

I'm very well versed with the area. Yeah, you know Dubbo, which is in New South Wales, where we have Abby. Hello, idiot Abby. Hello. Hi, darling, from my neck of the woods, the central west girl. I love it. I was there last week. Oh, is that where you were? Yes wood, the central west girl. I love it. I was there last week. Oh, is that where you were?

Yes. All makes sense now. Dubbo's nice. I've been to the Dubbo Zoo. I've done a roar and snore there. You can't just fucking throw around the word nice like it's nothing. No, you can't. And you can't just say, oh, I've been to the zoo.

Like, shut up. Well, what else is there, Anna and Jenna, other than shit dust? Abby and Jenna. What did I say? Anna. Oh, sorry. The jail, the Old Abba jail. Yeah, that's a good one.

Yeah, that really works. They've got a zoo and a prison, so just a bunch of people in fucking cages, by the sounds of it. Yeah, not a good idea for teenagers who want to look for dates. No. No. No, I can only imagine. Now, you sound like you're breathing very heavy. Are you on a hot girl walk or something?

Gardening. Oh. Hot girl walking while gardening. You sound like you're having very heavy. Are you on a hot girl walk or something? Gardening. Hot girl walking while gardening. You sound like you're having the time of your life. Gardening. It's the Dubbo Dubs. Yeah, it's in her lungs, of course. She's actually serving time in the local prison. Okay, well, you've got an Is It Just You, do you, Abby?

I do. Okay, well, Bradley will count you in and then hit us, yeah? All right. Is it just me or...? A straight man, absolutely shitty at phone calls and texts. I wouldn't know. Ah, I agree, yeah. Yeah, definitely gay men are better.

I had a boyfriend for three months. We broke up two weeks ago because he ghosted me. But I've never had such a dry texture in my life. Well, give us an example. Would you just be like, sure. Yeah, what would you say to him? And what would he say back? I use punctuation, capital letters, full words, not just, you know, RN or, you know, sup.

My brother's message is atrocious. It's just, okay. Oh, and he's a straight man. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shocking. And two days later. I've got another point for you.

Yeah. We used to be on the phone overnight, right? And we were one of those stupid couples that would sit on the phone overnight because we were long distance for a bit. Wait, what do you mean? You'd just leave the line going even when you were sleeping? Yeah. What?

We'd have the speaker on and neither of us would be muted and we'd spend the whole night until he had to get up to work at 6 o'clock. I love how you say we're one of those couples. I don't know if that's normal. No, you'd hang up when you'd sleep, right? No, no. I would literally wake up in the middle of the night and I would check and he would still be on there and I could hear him snoring. Oh, no, I don't like that.

Why would you do that to yourself? That's a bit excessive. But anyway, so in those phone calls, he would be even worse. There would just be bouts of silence and I'd be like, have you gone to sleep? He was sleeping. No, I'm here. No, I'm here.

I'm here. I'm playing my game. Okay, why are you talking to me? Yeah, there's no need to be on the phone if you're not actually engaged in the call. I'm kind of with you. But I will also say, not just straight men. I've dated people like that who were just so boring. Well, given my experience, it's straight men for me.

Now that I'm in the dating world and I'm talking to a couple of people, the thing that I've noticed that I think is the biggest turn-on for me is mutual attention or mutual interest. If I'm giving 100% and I'm not getting that back, it's such a turn-off for me. As in if you ask them how their day is and they give a very thorough answer but then don't say, what about you? They don't ask. It's like, well, then I'm not getting that back, it's such a turn off for me. As in if you ask them how their day is and they give a very thorough answer but then don't say, what about you? They don't ask.

It's like, well, then I'm not going to fucking ask because I'm genuinely interested, you know? So go fuck off. That's me anyway. That's what I'm like. I'd tell you and he'd go, fine. And I'm like, oh, that's good. And then he wouldn't ask me back.

Anyway, he ended up ghosting me right after he met my dad. Oh, dear. What the fuck was such a turn-off about your father? I don't know, but I was there the whole time. He shook his hand, talked at work with him, and then left. He wanted to have a beer with Dad, but Dad had to go early. Like, I don't know what happened, but that was the last night I saw or heard from him.

Oh, you poor thing. Well, it sounds like you dodged a bullet with that one, to be honest with you. Oh, yeah. I've been very unlucky this year. Like that thing from Schitt's Creek. It's just a long string of very bad luck. Have you had a couple breakups this year? Two.

Two breakups. But, hey, you'll know what you will and won't put up with next time. If someone's a shitty texter, that's a red flag instantly. Also, have some time to yourself. That's what I'm just trying to enjoy my single time. Like, it's fun. Embrace it, Abby. Yeah, I've decided to not look for someone,

not actively look for someone until next year. You know what? And that is when you'll find someone, is what everyone keeps saying. You'll find someone when you least expect it, when you're not looking. Yeah. Which is, you know, I tend to believe. When you're just sort of open to it. Maybe not even actively looking, but you just sort of put it out there.

Yeah, I'm open to it. Yeah, exactly. You'll be fine. Oh, God. Well, I hope you find him alive. Thank you. You guys are so nice. We know.

Wait till we hang up and you listen back to the episode. That's when the real truth comes out. Well, hit up Pricekeeper Jenna. We'll give you a little treat for coming on. Oh. You're welcome. Thank you, Abby. Thank you. Love you guys. Thank you, Abby. Thank you.

Love you guys. Thank you, Abby. Bless her. Kind of just used that as free therapy, didn't she? Oh, well, I don't know if it's that great. You can't rely on us as therapists. Oh, God, no. No, we're both in therapy.

Are you in therapy? Yeah, I've been in it for like 15 years. Oh, you need a new one. Christ. You need a new one. Christ. Now, Mitch, there is one thing in particular that a lot of people have been requesting from me recently. Yeah, what is it?

Well, why don't you guess? If you had to guess, what's the number one request I've been getting from listeners of ours recently? Is it nudes? Because you're looking hard. No. Really? Not that. Oh, shit, okay. I would have said nudes.

Is it the hair care? Drop the hair care routine, King. Even more than that. I get a lot of those. You're joking me. Looking hot. Really? Not that. Is it the hair care? Drop the hair care routine, King. No, even more than that. I get a lot of those. You're joking me. Skin care. Drop the skin care. Yeah, yeah.

Babe, you're kidding. Nope. What is it? The number one request I've been getting is, you should do a podcast with your friend Oscar. Oh. When are you and Oscar doing a podcast? When's it happening?

Blah, blah, blah. Comments, fucking people sending in Q&A's and stuff it's just from every angle I've been getting a lot of people saying do a podcast with Oscar I would love that we love Oscar Oscar's a friend of all of ours you were his friend first he's been on this podcast before he has and he's also featured in a lot of your content on your Instagram yes exactly

and it was after we did the Logies Red Carpet commentary together that people were like you you turned down a podcast. And it's been relentless. But we've all seen what happens when I take on more than one podcast at a time. Yeah, and you've got a podcast co-host that you're more than happy with and you're monogamous, okay? Pretty much.

Yes. And so I thought, well, instead of starting a whole new fucking podcast and having two separate podcasts, why don't we just integrate him into the Is It Just Me family? I think. And you were totally on board. I was on board. We are dabbling in ethical non-monogamy here on Is It Just Me?

Oh, my God. This is exciting. And so watch your back, Jenna. We've got a fourth wheel in many ways. We sure do. And so today, for the very first time, let's cross to our brand new roving reporter, Oscar. Oscar, welcome. Hi, Chuck.

Hello. Hi, Barlans. How are we? Oh, we're good. So we're just going to be getting Oscar to be out and about doing random shit. If anyone has any ideas about where we should send Oscar, what missions we should give him, please send it through. Yeah, so if there's something happening in the culture

or people are talking about a certain event or a moment or a thing, we will get roving reporter Oscar out on the streets of Australia to investigate. Would you say investigate's the right word, Oscar? Oh, look, I'd say investigate. I'd say devil. I'd say have a fucking look as far as I'm concerned. Like, that's what, you know, there's nothing wrong

with sending good old chukkan out to the streets. I could be, like, the next Billy Eichler. I think he meant Billy Eichner, Billy on the Street. That or Billy Eilish. No, you're right. Did you mean Billy Eilish or Billy? Who fucking knows, Cheery? Sometimes shit comes out of my mouth and then I think about it.

I've seen you at Ark, I know. I will say, Mitch, that we probably should explain where he is because it sounds like he's at a spaceship with the sounds and the buzzing and the hooping going in the background. He's on his first mission right now and I can hear the background noise. Do you want to tell everyone where you are, Chalkin? So I'm currently at McDonald's on George Street because I've heard that they've now launched Milo McFlurries.

Yeah. And between us girls and Jenna, I completely forgot that it's school holidays. So if you can see behind me, the McDonald's is packed. Don't film children without their consent. Shit, don't get us fired. We don't have working with children. We don't have the budget. I'm here to investigate and answer the age-old questioner.

Does the Milo McFlurry live up to standard? It's not even age-old. As we record today, it's literally the day that they've released the Milo McFlurry at McDonald's. And so Oscar's going to be the first to fucking try it. So have you ordered it yet? No, I haven't actually. I'm currently in queue.

Okay, well good. What do you McFlurry? The age-old is in fact the worst thing he could have said. It's brand new today. Well, do you know what? It's age-old to me because here's a hot secret. I've actually never had Milo. What? Why?

Ever? Mm-hm. I've never had Milo. I never grew up with it. The family never gave it to me. I grew up with sauerkraut, OK? Like, I'm wog. Oh, right. Do you know what? That's actually good for our reporter

because he won't be biased. He's going to be impartial. He's never had Milo. Paint a picture. What's going on? Are the staff frantic? Do other people have Milo? It's lunch rush. So it's currently lunch rush. The crowds lining up for their food is enormous. I feel like I'm at the fucking Easter show. Do you know what? And like the Easter show they're all behaving like animals. So, you know, it's a

full thing. Do you know what I will say? For the internationals listening, if you don't know what Milo is, it's a fucking Australian treasure. It's like a chocolate malt powder drink. And so you mix it with milk and they do have a recommended serving on the jar that says like two tablespoons of Milo, the rest of the cup's milk. Rubbish.

Fat Little Mitchell would just reverse that ratio and go a fuckload of Milo and a little trickle of milk. I solely blame Milo for my childhood obesity. I'm not even fucking with you. It's too addictive. I can't have it in the home these days. Yeah. You know when you have too much Milo in the drink and it kind of coagulates in your throat

and it kind of gets a bit dry and you almost choke and die? I think that's why I have asthma. Milo-induced asthma. Do you remember the controversy when they got rid of the M&M and Oreo McFlurry and replaced it with fucking bubble gum and caramel crunch and then strawberry crumble and double choc? I remember because I worked at McDonald's at the time and I had to deal with the abuse. The absolute onslaught of where the fuck are the M&M McFlurries? And I was like, they've changed them all.

I don't know. Well, I've Googled it. It's just creamy vanilla soft serve topped with delicious malt-flavoured Milo powder available for a very limited time. Is that it? They didn't even have like chocolate fucking bits in there or something? It's just Milo and ice cream? So anyone could do it.

Just go and buy a soft serve and put some Milo in it. Everyone has been doing it since the dawn of time. Everyone knows how to make a Milo McFlurry. I'm ordering. I'm ordering. Hi. Can I grab the Milo McFlurry clothes? Just the one.

Four dollars. Is that it? Oh, alright. Thank you. Yeah, alright. Have you ever seen a rugby reporter get so close to the camera from a low angle? No, it's not flattering at all, Oscar. All right, now we're order 157 and they've just yelled out 130. Oh, my God! Did I ever tell you, by the way, I couldn't talk about this at the time

because I was under exclusivity with KFC. Right. All right, calm down. Big notes. Tickets on Intel. I couldn't talk about this at the time, but I hosted a corporate event for McDonald's. Yes.

And I couldn't believe how blasé they were about their product creation process. It's literally just some woman who, during lockdown, was in her own kitchen just ordering things off uber eats and fucking around and then she invented the tim tam mcflurry in her own kitchen and they launched it nationally are you kidding and she was so blasé she looked like a i don't know a ruth or something i can't remember her name but she was just like yeah i invented that mcflurry in the kitchen and it had to go through several rounds of approval because arnott's had to approve it like the first drive so back to the kitchen she went. Wow.

Oh, my God. I love that she's making out like she's a chef when she crushed up a fucking Tim Tam. She literally ordered Tim Tams on Uber Eats, bashed the fuck out of them, ordered some plain McFlurries on Uber Eats and then chucked them together and went, that's nice. I'll launch that nationally. Right. And she worked at McDonald's already or did she write in?

Yeah, she was like their product developer or something. She's a big dog at Macca's, basically. Wow, that's incredible. And for someone who's a big dog at Macca's, she was so blasé about it. I was like, you invent McFlurry through living. What a job. You're like a real-life Willy Wonka. Oh, hang on, hang on.

Here we go. I've seen her put some dust on a McFlurry. Some dust? This could be our Milo. Oh, here we go, here we go. Oh, my God. Thank you. Thank you so much. Here we go. It's our Milo. Oh, my God. Thank you.

Thank you so much. All right. Now, I'm going to have to elbow the crowds to find a spot. Maybe outside or wherever's safest. Oh, fuck going outside. Sorry. Mitchell, Churi, don't be fucking ridiculous. I'll need to sit down on the inside, okay?

I'm not an animal. Yeah, no. All right. Okay. Okay. There. Yeah, no. All right. Okay, okay. There's some spots upstairs. All right. Upstairs? Have you been to George Street Market?

Yeah, only really fucking blind. I was going to say, I've never been during the daytime. Yeah, nor have I. No. All right, girls, so we're here, and I'll just show you. It looks like a tiny McFlurry that I swear to God, I bet you it's just going to taste like the dirt from me nana's garden. Oh, no.

Oh! What is this? That is so... You have not even slightly mixed it. That's so idiot. This is what I'm dealing with, all right? God, it's not anything like what we add. No, and they could have chucked some Maltesers in there or some chocolate sauce to add. Chocolate chunks or something.

Yeah, like brownie bits. So bear with me. I've never had a Milo. So this is a first for everyone. Now, upon first impression, girls, it looks like dog shit. So what I'm going to do is I can't inhale granite. No, it gave Jenna asthma. So be very careful.

I feel sick. All right, just go. And you've got to take the first bite. The big taste. The big moment. Here we go. Oscar, this is it. The Milo McFlurry.

This is launch day, by the way, ladies and gentlemen. Here we go, Oscar. Yes, this is launch day. All right, here we go. First taste. Here we go. It's in the mouth. Oh, it's caught in me fucking throat.

Jesus. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's very powdery. Jesus. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's very powdery. Go get a Sprite. Wash it down. Oh, Jesus Christ. Fuck that.

Oh. Oh, no. Okay. So. Oh, no. What's wrong with that? Is it really that bad? It's shaking.

Oh, no. What's wrong with that? Is it really that bad? Is it physically shaking? So there is not enough ice cream to warrant that amount of bullshit powder because it is now stuck on the... Oh, no. Oh, he's got asthma. Sorry.

Okay, it's not that bad, Oscar. No, no, it's stuck on the back of my throat, which is not uncommon for me, but, you know... You know, it's got to be wet. If it's dry and goes down your throat, it gets clogged. I said that, yeah. Okay, all right, I'll try again. Hang on.

So first test gave me a visceral reaction. Give it a mix, Oscar. Get a bit of the bottom. Oh, no, that's gross. They used to have the mixing machine at Macca's. Remember that? I know, it used to clip into the square spoon. Yes.

And it would absolutely flurry it. They got rid of that the same time they got rid of the M&M and Oreo. Cost-cutting. Oh, it doesn't look appetising. What's the texture, Oscar? Is it gritty and grainy? Okay, it feels like the texture of mud. Oh.

You know how with mud it looks all creamy and smooth? You could use it to exfoliate too. I'm not liking it. Like a frank body scrub. There's the official review of the Milo McFlurry. I think, Mitch, it's a problem because Oscar isn't a Milo fan. True. That's what we've got to do next is get him to taste a fucking Milo,

how it should be. And as a Milo aficionado, I'll make it how I used to have it when I was obese. With the correct ratio. All right. No, I'll make it how I used to have it when I was obese. Oh, alright. No, I'm willing to try that, but I'm going to say the new limited edition McDonald's McFlurry

with bullshit Milo. Thank God it's limited edition because that's disgusting. Yeah, okay. Heard it here first. Heard it here in the official Chookin Review. How many Chooks, how many Chookins out of five? Minus two. Wow. Minus two Chookins. of five? Minus two. Wow. Minus two chookins.

I'm not vibing that at all. All right. Are you going to finish it? No, I won't. I thought about it because I went, you know, I've spent a good four dollars on this crap. But now I've had two bites and neither one I've enjoyed. Got it.

Thanks, Roving Reporter Oscar. Great to have you on for your debut performance. Roving Reporter Oscar, thank you for your service to the show. Thank you so much for having me, my darlings. Well, there you go. I think I'll still try it. Will you? It just sounds like you can make it yourself. Yeah.

Yeah. But I'm still really curious. Yeah, and the fact that it comes in a little cup. You get in the car. I'm down. Let me know what you think. Yeah, okay. Oh, he's going again.

Oh, no, here we go. No more, Oscar. You'll shit yourself. Is it just me? Make sure you leave a review on your podcast app. If you don't, you're a little bitch. All right, I think we have some housekeeping to do. We have a couple of check-ins to complete.

Mitchell, last week we had many things. Actually, I called it homework. It was a bit of homework that we both housekeeping to do. We have a couple of check-ins to complete. Mitchell, last week we had many things. Actually, I called it homework. It was a bit of homework that we both had to do. It was, actually. We were asking our listeners to submit certain things. Yes, we were. I mean, I've got a shopping list in front of me. Yeah.

Let me just get it. It's underneath my meditation journal. You had more homework than me. I know. And were you impressed I sent you a voice message this morning the day of and I was like, I remember I have homework. What was it again? So you've been frantically preparing. No, I was prepared but I just

wanted to make sure I got it all right. Because one of the things that we're going to be following up on right now is your mission to learn a song off by heart because you reckon that you've just got lyric deafness. Yes. You hear sounds, you can hear the tune but you cannot remember a single fucking word to save your life. I hear lyrics, but I hear it as an instrument.

I actually think in 10 years they'll study it and it will be some sort of superpower. But at the moment for me, it's debilitating. I also, Jenna, you missed it, but I think it's so attractive when you're at a club and someone's favourite song comes on and they just know all the words. Yeah. I'm like, that's so beautiful.

You pay attention to that. Yeah, because then that means they'll pay attention to me when I speak. Oh, my God. Yeah. I'm like, that's so beautiful. You pay attention to that. Yeah, because then that means they'll pay attention to me when I speak. Oh, my God. Yeah. That's funny. You can't offer the same in return. Oh, God, no, no. I haven't listened to a word you've said in five years.

We'll do that last because that's sort of a performance. We'll come back to that. What else do we need to follow up on? Oh, we need to follow up on your lost items, Mitchell, because Mitch announced that he lost his glasses. Oh, we need to follow up on your lost items, Mitchell, because Mitch announced that he... Stop with that dingus. Sorry. Lost his glasses. No good news there. Glasses still lost. Fuck. Are you sure they're

not in Nick's apartment? I'm completely sure. I was pinning all of my hopes on him just having a shit look for them. And I was hoping that one day he'd just say, oh, actually, they've turned up. Here they are. And then I thought, I'm going to go have a look with my own eyes so that I can verify that they're nowhere to be seen.

Yeah. Contacted the building manager, contacted the fucking Surry Hills police. Nothing. There's no sign of it. Also, you're so annoying. Imagine being a building manager and getting an email going, hi, I've lost my glasses.

I'd be like, shut up. I called him. What did he say? Hi, Cobber. What's happened? You blocked into your car park? Well, he did the same thing that my apartment complex did. Yeah.

I said, have any glasses turned up in Lost and Found? And he'll go, yes. Yes, actually. I've got a few. I've got these Ray-Bans. I said, not sunglasses. Glasses, glasses. He got my hopes up.

Oh, no. You should have just said, yeah, put them on eBay. Make some cash back. Ray-Bans aren't cheap. All of them. No, so you wanted some stories of other people that had lost things and then found them to give you some hope. Yes.

I'm like about to give up. I'm not 100% there yet. I'm like 90% about to give up. I've only got 10% left of hope before I completely fucking give up and probably just splurge on a new pair, to be honest. Yeah. Because the ones you're wearing, they're nice, but they don't scream new.

Yeah, these are my understudy pair because they were doing a deal and you're right, they don't look like new glasses. Jenna, did you notice that these were different? No, I didn't. There you go. They're gorgeous, but they just don't have a new 2023 era. Yeah, like they're fine, you know, but I prefer the other ones. Anyway, we got a few people writing.

Donna said that her nan lost her engagement ring in the paddocks on the farm and then her cousin found it over 25 years later in the fucking paddock. Oh, that's so good. Which also gives me hope that one of these days I'm going to find the fucking step counter that came in the Froot Loops box that I also lost on the family farm. Yeah, I think I have one of those too. The pedometer. That's it. So where was it in the farm?

Did she say? I don't know. It was in the same paddock that she lost it. Wow. And then I'm assuming this paddock they would have plowed several times, dug up the dirt, and then one day it just fucking resurfaced. Oh, what a beautiful story. I don't know if I've got 25 years in me though.

I'm not going to sit around using shit glasses waiting 25 years. And by then they'd be outdated. Yeah, and by then you'd have LASIK surgery to fix your eyes or something and you wouldn't need them anymore. Now this next one, this is what I'm hoping happens one day. Emma said, I lost my phone for 18 months and then one day I was mopping behind a cupboard and it fell off a skirting board and landed on the floor. But everyone's been suggesting that you probably put it on top of a cupboard, you probably put it somewhere for safekeeping. I've looked literally everywhere. I promise you when I say everywhere, I mean fucking everywhere.

Even places that aren't logical at all. Where have you looked? Oh, like places that they couldn't possibly be. Like I've been going through my suitcases that I haven't used for three years. Right. Because also this was the night of the spiking. So I don't remember coming home. I could put them anywhere when I got home.

So I've been looking at all these places that Munted Mitchell could have possibly thought was a good place to keep it. What if the spiker didn't want to actually, like, touch you? That's what I said last week. They were jealous of my new frames. They were jealous of your new frames. Yeah. Let's go back to the bar and see if anyone in the bar is wearing them.

I know, right? I'll keep an eye out. Yeah. I've already contacted them. They don't have it. There's no lost and found. Yeah. Fuck!

This is what I mean when I'm ready to give up because I've looked everywhere. Any other stories? These are giving me hope and I don't have anything lost other than my marbles. This one doesn't give me any hope. Pete said, I hid my rent money in the toasted sandwich press when I lived in a share house. Someone made a sandwich and shrunk a fortnight's worth of rent because all the notes melted. Oh, no. I'm like, that's on you, Pete.

Sorry. That's stupid for putting it in the sandwich press. Don't do that. There's a lot of unhelpful comments, actually. Fucking Sam says, look's on you, Pete. Sorry. That's stupid for putting it in the sandwich press. Don't do that. There's a lot of unhelpful comments, actually. Fucking Sam says, look under your driver's seat. Yeah, because that's what I was doing when my drink was sparked. There was a lot of shit under my driver's seat. I found a prescription that I had under there.

But I hadn't been. I literally use my car once a week to come to this studio. Right, okay. So it's not there. And then Jenny said, are they on top of your head? Jenny! Come on. Don't fuck around.

Common sense, Jenny. As if I'd be that stupid to go all these weeks with them on top of my head. Mitchell, I think the glasses are gone. Yeah. You've lost them. No, I don't think you've lost them. I think someone's stolen them. They were jealous.

Yeah. But how did they get them out of my bag? Anyway. What about this one? Peter Murray. When I was a kid, I threw my silver baby bangle. What the fuck is that? What's a baby bangle? A baby bangle is like a piece of silver that you get given as a baby, right?

I would trust a baby with a bit of silver. Anyway, threw my silver baby bangle out of our cubby house. Mum couldn't find it anywhere in amongst the shrubs that were underneath the cubby house. Oh, yeah, yeah. Mum couldn't find it anywhere in amongst the shrubs that were underneath the cubby house. Oh, yeah, yeah. Years later, in my 20s, I was outside hanging up washing and spotted it hanging off the bottom shrub. So it's somehow gotten in the ground and then the shrub's grown. That's pretty cool.

A new shrub has grown and just caught it. That's cool. So that's, again, 20 years or so. Maybe they'll turn up one day. I just think it's been a while. It's been two weeks now since the glasses. I think so. A week, two weeks.

I just think they're gone. Yeah, you're probably right. Although I was on my hot girl walk this week and I ran past a pair of glasses on the ground and I put them on a bench. When? It was last Thursday. Now, when did I ask? Okay.

Yeah, I fell right into that. Other thing on our homework list was, oh my God, Mitchell's Silly Goose era. Ah, yes. Remember? Round two or take two, I should say. Yeah, Mitch tried to launch his Silly Goose era, Jenna. It didn't launch like a goose. It didn't get very high off the ground.

Because I just felt that I was becoming such a sensible fucking straighty 180 adult and I was like, oh, I used to be such a dickhead and had so much fun. And then no one really supported me on that era. But last week I said, my therapist has prescribed silliness. Our therapist has prescribed playfulness. Yes. Because apparently, I don't know,

it'll release certain fucking dopamines or whatever. Yeah, it'll make you feel good. She basically just said, go and fucking carry on. And then we asked for dares. So we did. We asked people to send in dares for Mitchell to do. We have so many dares. Some are more ridiculous than others.

Some you can't do now. Some you'll have to write down and bank and you can do in your own time for a bit of serotonin. I'm not doing it by myself. Well, isn't that the point? No, she said you need to lean on other people in your life to bring out your silly side, which kind of implies that I'm not alone. Okay. Just being a menace in public.

Rana Princess. That's insane behaviour. That. Just being a menace in public. Rana Princess. That's insane behaviour. That's not going to improve my mental health. Rana Princess says, calling a friend that you know very well, but mispronouncing their name until they correct you. That's very my humour, actually. It's very you. So just calling a friend.

Okay. I'm writing these down. Yeah. That is you. Call in six to jobs he doesn't have. You've done that before. Hang on, hang on. There's a difference between the dares and the pranks.

I don't want to prank anyone. Oh. It's making a fool of myself, not others. There's a very, very fine line. Yeah. Okay. We have this one from XNMBX. Change your name.

XHN, oh, fuck me, XHNMBX, change your name, do yoga poses or Pilates in the supermarket aisle carrying your heavy basket? Oh, no, that sounds so embarrassing. That's silly. That's a dare and a half. Is that something I do with others? Because I can't just do that by myself. Again, people think I need to be institutionalised.

I think you do that on your own. I'm not here to say that. No, no, no, I won't be there. She also, the same XHNXBX, said, slap your leg when you laugh and say, ha-ha, nice one, every time Tury speaks. Well, I can't do it now. You're expecting it.

I am expecting it. It could work. Noted. Okay. Go and stand in a lake and do the sprinkler dance with the ducks. Sorry, stand in the lake. Where are you going to stand in the lake? The nearest lake to me is Sydney Harbour.

No. Drive through Hungry Jack's and ask for a Happy Meal McNugs or a McFlurry with an Irish accent. No, that's trolling them. I can't do that one. Yell penis in the middle of Woolies, says Caitlin Louise. Grow up, Caitlin, for God's sake. I never found that funny even when I was in year eight

and that was the age it was kind of a thing. Jay Schwartz, he says, wear a ghastly costume and read a book. That's funny. Just at home? Oh, read a book out loud in front of a cafe. Oh, very different then. Oh, no, that's embarrassing. What's a ghastly costume as well?

So far, the mispronouncing the name and the... Nice one. I like that. They're my favourite so far. This is from Holly. Hi. Something I did when I was in my silly goose era was, while I was waiting on my firstborn fur baby to get some x-rays,

after a fall at the vet, naturally I spoke to all the cute baby puppies I saw. But in doing that, I actually made a beautiful friend who ended up giving me some major life advice. So I think Mitchell should be vulnerable without meaning to be. Talk to a stranger. That's another thing that she mentioned, our therapist, the vulnerability thing.

Yeah, you never know who you'll develop a bond with. Not so silly, but something I feel Mitchell wouldn't necessarily do. More of a cheery act. Be kind. That's true. I probably wouldn't do that. Sorry, that's so cunny. There's a dog park near my place.

I could just wander over and be like, morning, June. How are you? Oh, well, I suggested when I posted on the Instagram that you walk up to someone and say, who's this little cutie's name? And they've got a dog and they go, Barnaby. And you go, oh, gorgeous, Brittany. Have a good day. Just guess their name like you do.

But they tell you, then just get it wrong And completely misgender Nice to meet you Helen What? They said Barnaby That is funny to me That's a good one Or that would even be funny with a baby What's this one's name? Baby Braxton

Oh I love Trent Beautiful name Trent Have a good day Mitchell what if you called a dentist And asked how much for an eyebrow threading? Like you just called a business. Oh, that's giving a bit prank call, don't you think? No, no, no.

But you call a business. No, it's not prank. You call a business who specifically offers one thing, like a mechanic, and ask them how much for a baker's dozen of croissants are. Well, like call Jim's Mowing and say, I need a wedding cake. Exactly. Yeah. That is funny.

Isn't that so stupid? Call a hairdresser and go, do you have a size 13 in the Adidas Samba? These are good. Look, we're getting our inner silly out. I'm holding a giant fluffy cock, guys, so I'm feeling very silly. I've made note of my favourites so far. Okay, good, good. Why don't you bleach your hair?

Yeah, silly goose. No way. What about a physical appearance change? Because you're kind of due for one. I think you've, excuse me, I'm kind of due for one. I just got new glasses. I'm trying my best. I saw how that worked out for you.

No, no, no. I mean, you've had the same physical, oh no, now you're hot true actually. Oh my God. No, like your thin is so. Your stream of consciousness is really alarming today. Are your pubes jet black? I don't know. What is wrong with you today?

You've gone a bit manic. You said I don't know. I don't believe you. Huh? I don't believe that you don't know. Well, they're not jet black because I'm't know. What is wrong with you today? You've gone a bit manic. You said I don't know. I don't believe you. Huh? I don't believe that you don't know. Well, they're not jet black because I'm not Asian. Isn't that a fact that only Asian people have jet black hair? Everyone else is just really, really.

It's a fact. It's not in the Oxford Britannica. Actually, no, you're right. It probably isn't a fact. But I remember someone telling me very matter-of-factly that no Caucasian people have black hair. It's just really, really dark brown. I think my pubes are black. You sure they're not just really dark brown?

Let me look. Look away. Can you Google if that's true? Because I was just told that in the schoolyard, and I just kind of believed it. I'm going to pull one out. Pull one out? No, don't.

No. At least don't. Why? I want to see. I'm sure there's one loose. What do you mean you want to see? You see them often, surely. I'm looking at it.

I really would prefer it if you don't rip a pubout in front of me. That is so... Can you not see how that's off? They're so coarse and bumpy. Oh, God. Okay, so Asians don't have black hair. No human being actually has black hair or even black eyes. This is because no actual black pigment exists, only a brown pigment.

Oh, there you go. So not even Asian people have black hair. Nope. Isn't that interesting? I've always wondered that. If you bleached your head, then do you have to follow with the bleaching of the pubes? Because it would look really weird. Nah, not necessarily.

Sorry, I think I've had a manic snap. Yeah, I think so. I think it's happened. I'm anxious for my performance. Yeah, do you want to channel that manic energy into your performance? Are you happy with your silly goose stairs? I've got a few to work with, yeah. Okay, are you sure you don't want to do any sort of,

I'm just checking off the shopping list, that's what the dinghy is. Are you sure you don't want to do any now? Who's out, what can you do out there? No, I don't. We haven't got time for this. Are you sure? Yeah, we're running out of time. Are you sure you don't want to be silly?

Not today. Why don't you just go. Yeah, do that. Jenna, you do it? Because I'm so not on the same wavelength as you right now. Do it. Come on. It's silly.

Do it. Do it. One more time. You look a bit dehydrated. Your tongue's dry as fuck. Is it? Have some water, mate. Nice one.

I'm a good. Silly. Come on. Why does it have to be that? Do it! It's not that silly. That's his tongue. Mitchell, there's resistance, so our therapist would want you to. The family doctor. I'm going to do a better flutter tongue than you. Oh, wow!

That was sexy! Silly! I can hear the serotonin running through his cerebral cortex. I don't know what that is. Cerebral. That was the dumbest shit ever. All right. Are you ready?

That should be the episode title. How do you spell? I think it's A-B-L-E-H-B-L-E-H-B-L-E-H. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. All right. Anyway, do you want to do your song? Yeah, what is it again?

You should be telling us. I'm only doing the sweet escape. Yeah. I'm only doing it. To prove to yourself that you can memorise lyrics. It's a great song. Because for whatever reason, out of all the self-improvement you could be focusing on, this is what you decided to fucking focus on.

I am putting up. Despite the obvious flaws I'm seeing before me, this is what you wanted to improve. Shut up. I'm doing many, many, many self-help exercises. I'm there, I'm there. Oh, my God. I'm doing many self-help exercises and this is just one of.

Okay. So you're not allowed to look at lyrics. Jenna, can you double check? Yeah. Can you get out of that, mate? Like, minimise. Did you just call me mate? You get out of that, mate?

Like you're a fucking security guard at Westfield? Grow up. So he's got nothing on his phone, nothing, no bits of paper? No, relax. Okay. All right, are we ready? Yeah. Are you ready?

That's more important. Let me make sure the volume's up. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I'm so nervous! Do you need me to cue you in so you know when to start singing? It goes... Home, home, home, home.

What? Home, home. Home, home. Hoo! Oh, there you do it. I don't need to do that. Yeah. That's my backup singing.

Two more of those and then you're on. Oh, my God, my heart is racing. Ready? Five, six. If I could escape, I would, but first let me say I must apologise for acting straight and treating you this way. Because I've been acting like sour milk got on the floor. It's your fault I didn't shut the refrigerator.

Maybe that's the reason I've been acting cold. Yes! That's all you needed! Oh, he did it! I've been aiding and aiding my own world. He's cheating! But I could be your favourite girl forever. You're actually just cheating yourself.

Why would you do that? You're the one that had this ridiculous goal you wanted to achieve. I have my phone. And can I just say, if you go watch that pushback, it's in front of Jenna and she goes, no phone. It wasn't there. For fuck's sake, I have to do everything around here, don't I? It wasn't.

Ready? Here we go. My sweet escape. No. I've been acting crazy, baby girl. And I said your world forever. You and me together. I tell you, boy, it could not be sweet.

Sweet escape, sweet escape. Hoo-hoo. Hoo-hoo. Turn it off. Nah. So essentially we didn't get anywhere. No dares, no glasses, no song off by heart. I'm so sorry for wasting your time, everyone.

Oh, and you know what's really sad? Not for lack of trying. True. How excited you were when you thought I got it. Yeah, last time I fucking have your back. Oh, no. Come on, friends till the end. How could you try and pull the wool over my clit like so?

How could you? I actually felt so manipulative because it worked. And then I thought to myself, fuck, am I going to have to say that I had the lyrics? And I thought, why cheat yourself? I don't give a flying fuck if you know the song or not. It was you that wanted to achieve it. It's my birthday. And I was like, look at him.

He put his mind to something and achieved it. Well, is there one song we all know that we could all sing? The idiots love karaoke. Come on, what's one more song? Let's give the idiots what they want on my birthday. What's a song we all know? Abba. Well, I do literally know every single word to Winner Takes It All, but that's

not really a party song, is it? No, it's fine. Last time we played this song on the show, you started fucking crying. Yeah, but then I took all in the divorce that I had, so I'm happy. Winner takes it all. Loser's standing tall. Standing small.

You were close. Shall we try it? It's a four fucking minute song. We really don't have to. Let's try it. You don't even know it. Mitch can do the heavy lifting. Come on, Mitch.

You know how much shit we've had to do after the show? I know. Last song. This is A to Debrief. It actually isn't. We haven't gotten there song. This is A to Debrief. It actually isn't. We haven't gotten there yet. What's A to Debrief? I don't know what you're talking about.

What? What? Who? Come on, Jenna. What's the first one? Remind me. I don't want to talk About all the things we've gone through

Though it's hurting me Now it's history Come on, Jenna. I've played all my cards And that's what you've done to me Nope. Nothing more to say No more race to play.

The winner takes it all. The losers standing small. There you go. Beside the victory. That's why you're Denise. That's why you're Denise. That's why you're Denise. That's why you're Denise. That's why you're Denise. Oh, I forgot.

That's what you just said. Thinking I'd be long there. Oh, be long there. I fucked it. Oh, there. I'm in a mess. Lost in confidence. Nope.

Very close. That comes later. Building me a home. Yes. Thinking I'd be stronger. That's where it came from. But I was a fool. Yes. That's very kind of him. God, she's gorgeous. I know this part. Ready, Jenna? The way down.

No. this night And someone way down here That is the world of fear The winner takes it all The loser

is standing Nope, not Mitchell, it's simple and it's plain Fuck! Why should I complain? But tell me that she fucks

Like I used to kiss you Oh my Does it fuck the same Now we're defeated This is stupid But you know what Silly goose Silly goose

That's true That was silly We all feel good after that Yeah that's true Wow I'd love to demonstrate That I know all the words But it's a four fucking minutes song We don't have time for that We're only halfway through That's true. It is really good. That was silly. We all feel good after that. Yeah, that's true. Wow. I'd love to demonstrate that I know all the words, but it's a four fucking minutes song. We don't have time for that.

We're only halfway through. Top comment is she was going through her own divorce when she sung that. She was. To the band member. Yeah. Wow. They were both married to different band members. It was a band of four and they were paired off in couples and then they all of a sudden started releasing all this fucking breakup music

because they were going through divorces. Don't eat where you shit. So we do. We're not there yet. Fuck, I've had a real brain skip. We've got to get out of here. Thanks for listening, idiots. Let's go, guys.

Thank you so much for listening on this birthday episode. Yes, happy birthday. Thank you so much, guys. Can't wait for the party on the weekend. Do you want to bet? Will Jenna turn up? Oh, I'd put fucking a thousand on her not turning up. Really?

Yeah. Okay. I'll buy you drinks all night at my own house. I'll make you drinks all night. You'll be at your own house. Yeah, but you won't have to bring anything. If you turn up, don't bring a thing because I will shout you all night. Okay.

Deal. Deal. All right. Thanks for listening. We'll see. Leave us a five-star review if you never have. Thanks for listening to the show. We love you as always.

Same deal on Spotify. You can do the five-star rating thing. You can? Envail Google Podcasts. It's dead. I know. Can you believe that? I know a few people that use that.

I didn't know it was a thing. Neither did I. I have no idea how the fuck our podcast ended up on there because I never submitted it. It must be auto in the RSS feed or something. I don't know. It must be, but I had to manually do it to others. Really? I don't know how Google got a hold of it.

Wow. There are all sorts of fucking apps that I never actually signed up for. It's weird. Sometimes I get notifications and it's like, you've been reviewed on Podwatcher. I'm like, what? Yeah. Or Stitcher.

Yeah, Stitcher. I don't know how we have anything to do with that crap. Stitcher? All right. Well, we'll see you in a week. Yep. Got to go. Love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. See you. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to 80 to Debrief.

This is our secret segment on the end. We pretend the show is done, but it is not. We keep talking shit, although that was just so unhinged, everything about that. I'm sorry, and I let blab the secret segment. I know. That was really naughty. The one time I'm feeling knackered and I think, he can do the heavy lifting, this is what happens.

Sorry, I'm a bit manic. I had water and now my brain's hydrated. Water? Yeah, I drank water for the first time. Lewis, how many beverages does one bitch need on this side of the table? I've got my tea, I've got my smoothie and I've got my fucking water. Oh, good for you. That's all at once.

You know, I had one of those moments, I'm sure you're having them, where like, you know, we're both in our health journey and the benefit of that is happy mind, but also losing a bit of weight. I, for the first time, was in the shower and I felt my hips. Oh, yeah. I was like, I can feel my hip. Well done. There's a bone there.

Yeah, there always has been. Yeah, I didn't realise. I'm like, I just developed that. And then I was brushing my teeth with no shirt on. And then like I caught a glimpse of like my side angle. I'm like, look at that. Isn't that nice? Those little moments.

Yeah, yeah. I know what you're talking about. Like my Spanx doesn't Spanx anymore. Oh, fuck me dead. I was wearing those Nancy Gantz things that our listener sent in to me. Oh, we love the Nancy Gantz. No, his name. Is it James?

Yeah. I think it's James. Oh, the Nancy Gantz guy that sends them. Yeah. Yeah, James. Yeah. You really must listen. Sorry. No, no. Sorry. It's James. James is the Nancy Gantz guy that sends them. Yeah. Yeah, James, yeah. You really must listen. Sorry.

No, no. Sorry. It's James. James is lovely. He also sends Calvin Klein stuff to me. Yeah, yeah. I've got nothing. Yeah, sorry.

Hi, James. I was wearing the bloody Nancy Gantz shapewear thing that he sent me on stage in fucking Brisbane. And I don't know what happened because this has never happened before. I've worn these things a million times. But for some fucking reason, that night when I was on stage, it was like I was wearing a bra. I know what it's like, ladies. The fucking straps kept falling over my shoulder.

And I'm up there on stage trying to subtly do this and, like, pull the strap up. And then eventually it just got to the point where I was like, I can't ignore this anymore. I have to tell everyone that I haven't just got this itchy shoulder because I was pulling it up underneath the shirt. People were like, what the fuck is he doing? And I just like undid the

buttons. I was like, I'm wearing shapewear and it's fucking pissing me off. I'm sorry. I just have to come clean. Funny. Yeah. And did you fix it up? Not really. It kept falling off. But then the following night didn't fall off at all. I don't know what I did wrong that night. Well, lubed up my fucking shoulders, I guess. My Nancy Gans don't have straps.

They're just like the bodice piece. They just go around the tummy and they end at the tits. Oh, okay. But the problem is because when they do work, they kind of like suck in. Then you've got a line under your tits, but then your boobs just fall over it. So it kind of makes my tits look bigger. No, I remember when I wore Kmart shapewear, I had that problem. I was like, this is not helpful at all.

Yeah. Like it kind of just reshifts the fat elsewhere. People were saying, you don't need shapewear. Why are you wearing that? And I'm like, honestly, it's not even about, like, oh, my God, it makes such a huge difference. It's like a weighted anxiety blanket. Yeah.

There's something about having that tightness that just kind of calmed me down when I was on stage. But then the fucking spaghetti straps kept falling off. I went into, I was at Universal, the gay bar in Sydney, the other night and forgot I had shapewear on, pissed, went to the toilet and I could not access my penis. Wait, what sort of shapewear have you got? The leotard?

Yeah. Oh, that's different to what I've got. Oh, mine goes right around the crotch. Mine's just like a shirt. Oh no, mine gets dick and balls and everything. My Kmart shapewear was like that and I had to cut a hole in it. A dick hole. Oh, I might have to do that. Because it was just so uncomfy.

Yeah, it's very uncomfortable. I've got skims as well, like the Kim Kardashian stuff, and it's very nice. Yeah. But my penis is still. Has Kim Kardashian sent you any free fucking skims? Absolutely not. There you go.

Well, she sent me a few. Did she? Oh, you're on the books for skims, are you? You know what happened on the way here? I spent a solid minute driving right alongside the bloody Google Street View car. Oh, my God. The one rigged up with all the cameras that takes the photos of the street. Yeah.

So, I don't know. Anyone listening to this episode in years to come, please go on Google Maps and check out Street View on the Warringah Freeway. Yep. Northbound, just as you leave the Harbour Tunnel. That's where I was. Wow. Oh, my God.

And did you wave? Did you smile? Or did you mew your jaw? No, I just had a bitch face on, to be honest. Yeah, right. Checks out. You know, Jackie O, acclaimed multi-million dollar radio presenter, I saw her in the building yesterday when I arrived.

And she goes, Mitch? And I go, yeah. She goes, I have to say, when I drove her in the building yesterday when I arrived. And she goes, Mitch? And I go, yeah. She goes, I have to say, when I drove out of the building yesterday and you drove in, I checked you out. And I thought, who is that guy? You look so good. You're completely different. It's miraculous how it always comes back to this, no matter the conversation. I'm just saying. You were talking about the car. It's actually a very clean segue, if you think about it. Oh, God. Mitch's scrunchie's tied in.

Scrunchie. Oh, you've matched your scrunchie to your outfit. That was a pure accident, but I was pretty proud of it. That's a nice scrunchie. Yeah. Have either of you been getting emails from the casting directors for that Kate Langbrook show, the My Mum, Your Dad? No. I think they must be struggling to cast

for that Channel 9 show. Why? Because I've gotten like three emails and I keep replying, my parents selfishly are still together. I can't go on that show. What do you mean? Well, you know how the whole concept of the one that Kate Langbrook hosts? Yeah. The whole concept is single parents looking for love,

but they go in there with their kids who are sort of behind the scenes playing matchmaker. Right. And so I think they must be struggling to cast because I've gotten three emails asking if I wanted to be on to cast because I've gotten three emails asking if I wanted to be on the show and I'm like, my parents are together. Why would they say that? That's weird.

I don't know. I got approached by, what's the dating one called? The Australian one. And it's like they're in a restaurant and it's. Oh, first dates. First dates. They're like, do you want to be on first dates now that you're single? I said, absolutely not.

Why the fuck not? Absolutely not. Why not fuck not? Absolutely not. Why not? No. It just feels a bit exploitative. Exploitative? Yeah. I don't want my first dates to be exploited for the entertainment of the nation.

I would never talk about it. It wouldn't be your first dates. You've had about 67 at this point. No, I've had about 10. No, I just don't want to do it on TV. I'll happily talk about it on a hit acclaimed podcast. It's a bit of fun. Just go in there and be a want to do it on TV. I'll happily talk about it on a hit acclaimed podcast. Oh, it's a bit of fun. Just go in there and be a cockhead and make iconic TV.

That's all you need to do. You could. Should I do it in my silly goose era? I think the person that you're going on the film today with knows that you're not actually having a sincere fucking day. That's true. You're not actually going to be happily ever after. You're there to make good telly.

But I'd be heartbroken because they know that I'd be sappy. So if they gave me someone that I'm not interested in Mitch, I'd be so gutted. Yeah, I suppose. Bit of fun, though. No, not for me. I said no. You only regret the chances you don't take.

Beautiful. Yeah. I'll write that in my gratitude journal. Do it. Do you need your pen back? Oh, thank you. Ow! You're lucky I didn't catch that.

I love my gifts, guys. I've drunk about a litre of them. Look at little Wilbur. We've got to get a photo with you and Wilbur for the Facebook group too. Thank you. The emotional support pain. So sweet. He's not like squishy, but he's definitely solid.

Like he's thick. You can find it on the Craft Rebellion website if anyone wants to see what he looks like. But we'll put a photo in the group. Rebellion on Instagram too. So is it, they were new, were they? And everyone was loving them. Is that what they were saying? Yeah, there was literally one left on the shelf at this stall

at that fake thing and i said i'll take that because i was like literally going around this stall thinking i gotta get something for chewy's birthday don't i and i was like that's perfect it's like a squish mellow but a cock a cock mellow perfect he'll love it and she goes sorry this is a display model i've taken 40 back orders just today. And I said, how long is it going to take? Two to three weeks. Right. Well, what if I told you that I'll pay extra for Express Post?

And it's named, did you name it Wilbur or did she? No, I'll show you the photo. When was that? So cute. And my candle and my cum rag and my do it for yourself book. I've done very well. Yeah, look. He's the last one left on the shelf. Will with the emotional support pain.

Yeah. Oh, what a cutie. He's a cog of balls, by the way. He's got two little balls on him. They're very tiny, but they're very cute. Now, where are you going to put him? Prior to place on the scatter cushions on your bed? I've got fucking three squishmallows now and a jelly cat.

I bought a second squishmallow. Yeah, I've got two. In Dubbo. Really? Yeah. What one was it? It's Selenia, the cat. Oh, my God.

Gorgeous. Post a photo. We all want to see it. Can I tell you the saddest thing that happened? I think you already told us. What? You lost two of them in the divorce. No.

Update. What? I went on a date with a guy and we were talking and it was going really well and he's very cute and we were having ice cream at the beach. And then he goes, oh, so you live at home? I'm like, yeah, I live at home. I've got my bed. I'm like, oh, you know.

He's like, oh, let me show you. I don't know how we're talking about beds. I got a new koala bed. He's like, show me a photo. So I showed him a photo. I had a squishmallow on it. He's like, I've got a squishmallow. I'm like, show me yours.

He's got Chip. My OG. And I'm like, in my head, I'm like, is this fate? Am I going to be reunited With my Squishmallow Because this guy I assume it's not the same one Imagine if it was

Oh my god She's like yeah I had some Half Australian Half Filipino Whore over the other week And he left his Squishmallow Yeah yeah

Said he wasn't interested in it Used it as a cum rag twice And then dropped it off Oh god Reminded him of his fat ex I thought you were going to say That you were triggered by that And I'm like You didn't say that out loud did you? Oh, God. Remind him of his fat ex. I thought you were going to say that you were triggered by that. And I'm like, you didn't say that out loud, did you?

Because that guy's going to think you're a fucking loon. I told him. If you just burst into tears at the sight of a fucking squish mellow. He sent me a photo of it. It's the exact same thing. No, because actually I lied to him. I was like, I miss it because I used to wedge my iPad in it and watch content on it. You won't be wedging anything into the emotional support, Payne.

No, no. Will doesn't have any slits. If anything, I'll be wedging it places. Don't you think? Are you guys going to post photos to memoriate me on my birthday? Memoriate? Is that a word? It's hard to tell.

Sorry, I'm feeling really chaotic at the moment. I can tell. Why is this happening? I don't know. I've got a lot of work to do after this, and I think I'm just putting off. Yeah, we have things to do as well. Yeah, we do.

Post-show. We do. Well, then shall we go? Sorry. Stop that. One more time. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 3% better today. That's all.

Just 3%. So we do. Thank you. I noticed that you started doing that. You cut me off before I'm done. I know. Sorry. I just hear this fucking slithering in the corner.

I'm like, no, not yet, dog. Let me finish. One more time to end the show. What do you mean one more time? We didn't do it once. Mitchell wants to kill me. You didn't achieve it once. I was so sad that was in the instrumental version. Mitchell wants to kill me. You didn't achieve it once. Oh, wow.

I was so sad that was in the instrumental version. There. Actually, try this one without looking at the lyrics. Try it. I'm closing my eyes so you know I can't read anything. But you didn't check the inside of my eyelids for paper. I didn't, you're right. When I didn't try. Let's go.

Happy birthday, Mitchell. Farewell, everyone. Bye, bub. Love you all. See you next week. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.