Is It Just Me? - #173: You’re Not Trying

Episode Date: November 19, 2023

In this episode: Churi’s awkward run-in at the ARIA’s (05:19) The most patronising TV ad ever (11:47) The one thing Apple iPhones need to ditch (20:25) Coombs’ impression of the Messenger notification (28:05) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (31:34) A mispronunciation (of sorts?) from The Real Housewives of Sydney (48:12)   MUG-VEMBER: Order your 'Teal Era' mug here: coupleofmitches.myshopify.com Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitches Send us a text: 0422 948 202See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello, you. Hello, you. Go! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. In high school, I thought compulsory meant you had a choice, so my year advisor, Mrs Moyman, went,

oh, no, Mitch Math is compulsory. I went, fantastic! I'll do two courses of drama. Now here's Mitch Chooy and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, you. Hello, you. How are ya? Oh, I don't know.

How are you? Are you feeling better this week? Yeah, I am. Do I sound nasally? I'm a bit croaky, I think. Only when you pointed it out. I hadn't noticed chatting for the last half hour before we started recording, but now that you've pointed it out, a little bit.

It's a bit sexy. I've got a moustache at the moment. I'm kind of leaning into the whole grunge factor. I haven't washed my balls in about a week as well. I'm really trying to get a new brand. Show us your mo. You're going to ask me to show you my balls? No, God no.

I was like, go for it. I've seen those. You smell? Oh, okay. Here's my mo. I haven't touched it all month. Well, it's only been 16 days. I suppose, but I would have thought it'd be more out of control by then.

Really? Do you trim it or anything? Yeah, I trim it, yeah. Oh, okay. That makes sense then. I went to TikTok and there's like this guy that is like the Mo trimmer and he's like four ways to make sure your Mo is clean, capped and cool. Let's go.

Step one. I'm like, he's like, you need Mo oil. I'm like, wow. Oh God, it's a lot to commit to, isn't it? It is. And you have to shave a millimeter above the lip line. Oh, wow. So you don't get snot and food in it. And when you kiss, your lips can still be kissable. Oh, God, it's a lot to commit to, isn't it? It is, and you have to shave a millimetre above the lip line. Oh, wow. So you don't get snot and food in it.

And when you kiss, your lips can still be kissable. Oh. Yeah, it's not all furry. To be fair, it didn't stand out to me as being different for you. Like, it kind of suits you. Yeah, everyone's saying that. People like it on the... And typically, I am not a fan of the Mo.

I think they're fucking seedy normally, but it doesn't make you look seedy. Oh, thank you. Pricekeeper Jenna, who's here, what do you think of the Mo. I think they're fucking seedy normally, but it doesn't make you look seedy. Oh, thank you. Price Keeper Jenna, who's here. What do you think of the Mo? I quite like it. Thanks. Did you set up a Movember page eventually, or is this just your own little fun? Mo.

Mo. Well, when you get a gnomand, you really should think about that. There's just no momentum, you know? Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I'm a bit croaky. I was at the ARIA Awards last night. Oh, yeah.

The ARIAs. They've dropped... You know what I've noticed? This is just me on the fly. Or have award shows dropped the annual part of the title? There's nothing funner than going, the 63rd Annual ARIA Awards. Yeah, because you like chucking annual to anything. Oh, you love it. I didn't make that correlation.

Yeah, I love an annual thing. Is it just me on the fly? How good's the word annual? No, actually, just try it, everyone. Make it an annual. If you enjoy something, I urge you to make it annual. Like, if you like going to lunch and getting a croissant, make it annual. But then you can only do it once a year.

Yeah, true, but then you don't want to get too much. Because I love fresh bed linen, and I'm not going to do, like, my annual sheet clean, because that's a bit fucking grotty, isn't it? God, I love brushing my teeth. Let's make it an annual thing. No, I more mean like a treat. What's an event, Jenna, that you would make annual in your life? Oh, I don't even know.

Nothing? Nothing. Nothing springs to mind. There's nothing that brings you joy that you'd make annual? No, because things that bring me joy, I'd want to do it more than once a year. True. You're very true. Yeah.

It's a fine line between something that you enjoy doing, so you do it often, like Pilates classes, Jenna. There you go. We do that multiple times a week because we like it. But then something that is, like you enjoy it, but it would be way too fucking much to do it any more than once a year. Well, pig week's the perfect example. There you go.

Because every time pig week rolls around, I'm like, fuck, that time of year already. Totally. And the other day when we had ginger nuts on the show, that wasn't a guest There you go. Because every time Pig Week rolls around, I'm like, fuck, that time of year already. Totally. And the other day when we had Ginger Nuts on the show, that wasn't a guest that you missed. That was a cookie. It sounds like we had a celebrity. No, we didn't have Ron Weasley on the show. Oh, Ginger Nuts on the show. For a second I was like, was I here that week? Yeah, we had Ed Sheeran as a guest remember? Yeah, Ed was on. That little rat thing from Harry Potter. Scabbers.

Oh, my God. We never discussed the fact that scabbers, like Ron had scabbers for a long time, right? And it was a man. And it was a man. That rat no doubt saw him masturbate. That rat no doubt saw him buck naked fucking Hermione. Like, I'm serious. If pets could talk, I tell you.

Imagine if Isabella one day You were in the kitchen Making a You Foods And all of a sudden She started dry heaving I didn't leave by the way I didn't leave Apologies She started convulsing

She arches her back And then out peels A middle aged woman Named Michelle And she's like Hey the whole time I've been a woman And I've watched you

Isabella has Spied on Sean and I Before In the act. Really? And because she does this for attention. I don't know about your cat, Jenna, but they seem to time their vomits as to when they're not having enough attention.

Definitely. Just recently, Saturday morning, Connie decided to. Yeah, because you weren't paying her 100% attention. I was sleeping in. There you go. Yeah, no, because I was having a good fuck, Isabella's like, well, I can't have that. Either that or she was repulsed. No, no, she's not homophobic.

Although whenever I'm over, she decides to shit. Well, she deletes him, so how could she? She is true. She does. She does shit every time I'm over. Whenever you're there. Every time she's like, I smell beef. Time to fucking drop one.

I was filming an Instagram story today, and she starts scratching around in the bloody kid litter in the background. And I was like, why? Why now? She's got no decorum. Every time I pick that cat up from her father's, she's like five kilos heavier. She's one of those people that doesn't like to shit anywhere but home.

She's one of those people. I can relate. Yeah. I don't mind. I shit anywhere. I shit at the Arias last night. Did you? Yeah.

I needed to do it. And I did. Are you getting sick of the Arias? Because you've been to a few now. Like the Logies were great the first time I went, but I don't have any FOMO now. No, I did not. It wasn't as exciting as it has been in years past.

My table was next to Troye Sivan's table. That's cool. And mind you, he had like every family member that he's ever connected to in his life. Oh my God, was his mum there? His mum. Have you met Laurel? I have met Laurel. Laurel Mellon. I had tied Levi, my God, with his mum there. His mum. Have you met L'Oreal? I have met L'Oreal.

L'Oreal Mellon. I had tied Levi, his brother, on my radio show when he had a song, and she texts me. She texts me. I know, she's really personable like that. She used to be mine and Jenna's boss. Yeah. What?

I'm still Facebook friends with her. What, at a country road or something? No, like the first job that Jenna and I had where we met, she was like an investor, so she'd sometimes just pop into the office and just keep an eye on her investment. Yeah. She'd sit on the lounge and just have it. She was on the board. Yeah.

She's got that blood cut fringe, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, his dad was there too. Troy did really well. Troy cleaned up. So I heard. Yeah.

One song of the year and Kylie Minogue. The best part was Dolly Parton was live and presented an award from Dollyland. Dolly Parton. Was it actually live? Dolly House. What does she call her estate? Dolly Parton was live and presented an award from Dollyland. Dolly Parton. Was it actually live? Dolly House. What does she call her estate? Dollywood. Dollywood.

Dollywood. Dollywood, sorry. Her estate. So she was actually live remotely? I couldn't tell, but she apparently threw it around. It looked live. Were people back and forth with her? Yeah, they're like, Brooke Boney, who was hosting,

was like, live from Dollywood. It's Dolly Parton. Hi. And then she went, hey, Brooke Boney, who was hosting, was like, live from Dollywood. It's Dolly Parton. Hi. And then she went, hey, Brooke. How do y'all? How do y'all? She was like, so great to be here at the Orias. I'm like, you're wrong.

You're wrong, but you're an icon, so it's okay. Then Marsha Hines was on the table next to me, and she came over and asked if she could have any of our caramel slices. And I said, sure, Mars Marsha Hines go for it. Don't you dare. So she took my caramel slice. Wow. My dessert.

I'd be on it. I love Marsha Hines. She's performing at Jonesy and Amanda's live show next week. Is she? Yeah. Don't. Anyway so yeah I'm a little bit tired. I had to go to the after parties with the whole thing.

You had to go. I did because no I did. It's my work. I've got to schmooze these labels. You had to go. I did. No, I did. It's my work. I've got to schmooze these labels. The music labels all throw after parties. I have to go. I wasn't invited to the after parties when I was an intern at the Arias. Aww.

You wouldn't want to go. Really? Yeah, I ran into my ex at all of them. Oh, did you? Yeah, I was at the Warner Music after party. I'm like, oh, God, I'm leaving. I'm going to the next one. Ran into the after party.

There he is. Ran into the Sony Music one, there he is. I think you've had a few run-ins now. It wouldn't even be awkward anymore. Multiple run-ins. Yeah. No, it's not really a problem. Look at this photo of me when I was an intern at the Arias.

I was there during sound check. Mitchell! And I was standing in for, I was going to say Kylie Minogue. I don't know if she was there that year. I have a feeling that it was Dani Minogue, but I was just honoured to be in a Minogue's shoes. They were testing the light and sound and cameras and shit. So I had to stand on her spot.

And that was so exciting at the time. But the thought of doing that now, I'm just like, fuck the Arias, don't excite me at all. Isn't that sad? The magic has worn off. Oh, there's no magic anymore. I used to love the Arias. Now it's, I didn't even watch it. Can I say, I feel duped.

I literally hosted the Arias two years ago during COVID and it was COVID and no one gave a shit. Now it's back on TV and they're like, Mitch Turi who? I'm like, I got my big break in the middle of the pandemic. I don't even remember you doing that. That's right, no one gives a shit. It wasn't streamed on YouTube.

And guess where it was live from? Oh, I do remember that. It was live. This was during like, when we had like 12 people in a room and then if you need to cough, you do it in a bag and then incinerate it. Like the rules were dumb. Anyway, it was at Taronga Zoo because it was one of the only venues that had open air, but also had beautiful city views. Oh my God.

So I hosted the Arias from the Taronga Zoo and I got in trouble because I made a joke about the Wiggles. Did I tell this on the podcast? That doesn't ring a bell, so maybe you haven't. Oh, I was like the host. Brooke Boney hosted. She always fucking hosts. And then I was the host backstage.

So they do three awards, cross to me. I was like the fun one. So they cross to me. I'm like, hey, Brooke, I'm back here with the Wiggles. You just missed it. They're making fruit salad, yummy, yummy, big red cocktails, like something dumb. Anyway, then Bruce, the Red Wiggle, whatever his name is.

The one that looks like that war criminal. I don't know who you're talking about. Bryce Dallas Howard. Ben Robert Smith. He looks like Ben Robert Smith. Oh, now I know who you're talking about. I know who you mean. He was there last night.

I went, shit, how'd you get out of prison? But it was the Wiggle in a skimmy. Anyway, sorry. I digress. And he came up Anyway, sorry. I digress. And he came up to me. Can I digress for a second? Yeah, yeah. I noticed that the new Jeff, the new purple wiggle, has no fucking business being that

hot. He is beautiful. Oh, he's- Justice Cruz. Yeah, Justice Cruz. Yes. Justice Cruz. He's gorgeous.

He's absolutely there. He's gorgeous. To try and give the mums fanny flutters for sure. Yeah, totally. Very strategic. I think I'd know how to wake him up. Wouldn't be hard. Something would be hard. Wouldn't it ever. Don't need to wake up. You're doing

just fine. No need to wake up. No, no, no, no. I mean like because he's erect. Morning Wood like I'm fine with that. Didn't translate. They don't need to be awake. Anyway, Ben Roberts Smith approached me. The wiggle. The wiggle. The wiggle. And this is the Ari's and he goes, mate, we're a family brand.

We do not appreciate you insinuating that we're out here drinking cocktails. We don't drink. Oh, get your fucking hand off it, whatever your name is. That's what I thought. And I didn't get asked back, so maybe the wiggle's- Who cares? Oh, come on. Maybe I've been blacklisted by the wiggles. Maybe they've gone, the fat one, never to work in this business again.

It's not like you said, oh, there's Murray having a bump of ketamine behind the giraffe stand. No, you didn't say that. I wish you did. I wish you did. The blue Wiggle's all white because he's covered in coke, Brooke Boney. Bloody hell, how precious is that? Too much to be. I agree.

Anyway, welcome, everyone. If it's your first time listening, welcome to Is It Just Me? Welcome. Yeah, hi. Hi. I was waiting time listening, welcome to Is It Just Me? Yeah, hi. Hi. I was waiting for you, Gem. Mitch and I have done it, so you may as well. Welcome. Every single show, we start with an Is It Just Me?

Mitch and I have one both, something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine, I don't know Mitch's. My idgem is about a big change they should make to iPhones because I've fucking had enough. They need to get rid of a certain thing. Well, they've just made a bunch of changes. There's new iPhones and a big software they should make to iPhones because I've fucking had enough. They need to get rid of a certain thing. Well, they've just made a bunch of changes. There's new iPhones and a big software update. 17. Well, I don't believe my suggestion is included in that software update.

Interesting. I'd be thrilled if it was. Okay. All right. Well, we'll get to that. Mine is quite simply something that I've noticed. I was sent something by Jenna, actually. Yes.

And I've never felt more patronized in my life. Yeah. All right. Well, do you want to kick it off? Yeah, I'll start. Should I've never felt more patronised in my life. Yeah. All right. Well, do you want to kick it off? Yeah, I'll start. Should I go? Yeah. All right, let's hit it.

Is it just me or? Is this ad the most patronising thing you've ever heard? Hold on. Jenna sent me this and she said, are you playing this ad on Kiss? Yeah. And I was like, no, I don't think so. It's an exclusive ad playing on WSFM. Yeah. The radio station Jenna works at. Constantly. All the time. Yeah. And I was like, no, I don't think so. It's an exclusive ad playing on WSFM. Yeah.

The radio station Jenna works at. Yeah, constantly. All the time. Yeah. Except for incontinence pads, no doubt. No, no. Knowing your audience. No, it's not.

It's not for cataract cream or caltrate tablets. No, not this time. Prostate massages. No. It is for the Fairfield markets. Oh. So it's actually in the database here at the radio station. It's Fairfield City Council.

So this is paid for with our tax dollars. Where is Fairfield? Yeah, where is Fairfield? Sydney. Western Sydney? Oh, okay. Fairfield sounds quite nice. I'd like to go to Fairfield.

Although not after this fucking ad because I've never felt more patronised in my life. Jenna said it to me and said, I keep hearing it on loop. Like, why is it only on WSFM? So you must hear it at work. Oh, all the time. I just Googled Fairfield Markets and the address is in Smithfield Road, Prairie Wood. Also never heard of Prairie Wood. Where the fuck is this joint?

Prairie Wood. But why wouldn't you just call it Prairie Wood Market? Yeah, I completely agree. They clearly don't know what they're talking about. Oh, I see. It's sort of out near Wet and Wild or whatever the fuck it's called now. Oh, Raging Waters. Raging Waters, yeah.

Wonderland. Sounds like someone's about to give birth. Oh my God, my Raging Waters. Raging Waters, yeah. Wonderland. Sounds like someone's about to give birth. Oh my god, my Raging Waters first. Imagine if that's what your doctor said when you're about to, like, they're about to take your baby out. Deliver your baby. Oh, it's wet and wild down there. Alright, this is the ad. Ready?

Yep. And you'll know, as soon as the VO artist says a certain line, you feel patronised, okay? Shopping as it's meant to be. It's Fairfield Markets for me. Make it a habit every Saturday at Fairfield Markets. If you can't find a bargain with over 600 stores to choose from, you're not really trying.

There's plenty for the kids to do too with a Jordan Castle, Pony Rice and More. So rude. And it won't cost a packet. It's a family day. How dare you? If you can't find a bargain without 600 stores, you're not even trying. I know.

It's so disrespectful. So rude. I shouldn't have to try. That's right. They should be bargains smacking me in the face left, right and centre. Yeah. I agree. And the gall that she has to say it with a smile as well.

You're not really trying. I know, but how do you know I'm not trying? Yeah, exactly. The whole premise of a market is to not try. Because no one ever goes, you know what I need? I need a chopping board with some resin in it. You don't go to a market for an item.

I'd love an overpriced almond croissant. Let's go to Prairie Wood. Yeah, I kind of just go to markets and they can tell me what I fucking need. 100%. Or I need another candle. Exactly. Yeah. I go to markets.

That's actually an itch on the fly. I've never bought anything I've ever wanted at a market, but I buy a lot. Me too. Like I bought a candle that's been moulded into the shape of a woman's bodice. I went, that's cute. I'd never buy it anywhere else other than a market.

No, but also because you're supporting a small business. You're like, you know, I'll support you. But also you're not really looking for a bargain. No, you're not. Oh, my God, I will happily overpay at a market. Because it's a small business and so I don't feel so bad. Yeah, exactly. What does make me feel bad is when I go to this, like,

candle stall at a market and I smell them and I think, they're fucking vile. I'm not buying one of those. But the little lady who's handmade them, standing there behind the stall, I say to her, oh, yeah, I'm going to come back for this. That one of those. But the little lady who's handmade them, standing there behind the stall, I say to her, oh, yeah, I'm going to come back for this. That one's nice. And then I never come back for it.

And she sees me wandering around and she knows that I chose not to buy. One time I had a bag from another candle store arrival and she saw it and just looked at me like, you said you'd be back, you piece of shit. Yeah, that's the hard thing about markets. Now they've all got pay pass. Back in the day, like five years ago, you could be like, I'm going to just go find an ATM. They'd be like, yeah, tap me the Goldstone van.

You'd be like, no worries. And then you'd just run. But now they're like, no, I've got Beamer. I've got a tap square. Pay pass me. I'm like, Jesus, this used to be easy. That's good because then they can just email you the receipt. It's easy.

It is true, but then I can't get out of it. And the candle places you write, it's always their name. It's easy. It is true, but then I can't get out of it. And the candle places, you're right. It's always their name. It's always Jasmine's Infinity Candles. I got a bloody gorgeous one at some market on the northern beaches, and I need to go back because it's stunning. Is it not? I also got this beautiful fucking skincare.

It's meant to treat eczema, but for me it sorts out the razor rash. I wouldn't have found that if I hadn't gone browsing the market. Does it actually work? Yes. Because you do have a massive razor rash issue. I used to. I've never even noticed that your razor rash is gone. Yeah, there you go.

Well, you did say to me before, have you changed your skincare? I did. Mitch's skin is glowing. You look clear and glowing, so maybe that's it. It's got like tea tree and shit in it. I don't know. Someone sent us a message saying, thank you, Mitch Cheery, for opening up about your skincare routine.

Like I wasn't opening up. Did they? I didn't see that. I think maybe they sent me a private message. They're like, thank you. Brave. I said I use retinol twice weekly. You should have said to me when I was asking for advice,

if you don't know what skincare to use, you're not trying hard enough. You're not even trying. Imagine if like a big brand like Kohl's tried to do that. If you can't afford to feed your family for $10 or more, you're not trying hard enough. Shut the fuck up, Curtis Stone. Is it just me? You should follow these idiots online.

Search couple of Mitches. All right, as you know, it's Mugvemba. We're in the middle of Mugvemba. We're fast approaching the cutoff of Mugvemba. We have limited edition mugs, and I have to stress this enough. These mugs, once sold, gone. You can't get them again. And people collect these mugs.

We have idiots that have our Season 1 mug, Season 2, Season 3. Now the Season 4 mug. If you don't buy it now, you'll never be able to get it. Never. It's actually Season 5, but close enough. Are we in Season 5? Yeah. It doesn't make heaps of sense, does it?

No, our seasons, it's not like Friends. It's nice and easy with box sets. It's because Season 1, we started in September or October and then finished the year and then we just started season two. Totally. Yeah. And then I think season three went for like a year and a half. Yeah.

Because that was during COVID and we're like, let's just keep running with season three. Imagine if TV shows followed our formula. Yeah. And like the new episode of Morning Wars was like, Jennifer Aniston's like, just give them two episodes. We'll come back in a year. Yeah. Season two will be 400 episodes.

Yeah. Season three will be nine. But no, it's been consistent. The last two years, season four and five, have just been the year. Yeah. So we're in season five now, the teal era. Yes, of course. And as of December 1st, you can't order a mug anymore.

No, no. So go and buy one. You can also get a signed mug. Mitch and I will hand sign them. We were just signing some before. It was very fun. I barely touched them because I'm so nervous about my signature being permanent. I need to practice.

This just is a perfect example of how different we are because, Jenna, I wasn't even looking. No, you weren't. I think I was eating a salmon bagel while I was doing it. We were talking and you were doing it. You weren't even looking. And I just sign away. And then Mitch is like putting so much thought and effort into signing the mugs. I want them to match, whereas your signatures do not match.

Some of the fucking mugs you've signed are written in all caps. Some of them are written in cursive. It's just not consistent at all, whereas I want mine to be beautiful. Yeah, but you know when you get something like, and it's hand-signed, like maybe a politician has sent you a letter when you've changed electorates, and it's signed at the bottom, but you can tell it's photocopied? Yeah. I want people to know that I've written this.

I want there to be imperfections, like the ancient hieroglyphs in Egypt. I want this to be like the Rosetta Stone. I want people to go, no, Mitch Tuohy's touched it. Yes, we have touched it. We have touched it. I will sign them, I promise, and they're available. Link in bio on our Instagram or in the show notes of this episode. You can order your mug before the end of the month.

Speaking of the mugs, coming up in episode 174 on Wednesday, we need to have an all-staff meeting. of the mugs coming up in episode 174 on Wednesday. We need to have an all-staff meeting. Yeah, we've had a predicament with the mugs. I haven't filled you guys in on this yet. No, Jenna and I aren't across. Yes, there's been a predicament and there's a few other things on the agenda for the staff meeting, but that's happening on Wednesday. All right, we'll need you to take the minutes, Jenna,

as the price keeper. This is so nerve-wracking. You'll be fine. With the minutes or the meeting? Everything. I've learnt not to worry. I've stuck around long enough. Yeah, he learnt that straight out of the womb.

Just don't worry. Don't give a fuck. It's all good. Yeah. And also, I should say, coming up on Wednesday as well, a brand new mission from roving reporter Oscar. Oh, love it. I'm not going to tell you what it is,

but I reckon you guys are going to froth it. You two in particular. Really? You guys are going to be so proud of us. Oh my God. If you and Oscar? Yeah, we went out and did it over the weekend. Oh my God.

I'm so excited. What did you put in the hours? It took way longer than it should have. Really? I'll explain all that on Wednesday. Okay, it's Wednesday. It was a fucking ordeal myself. I can't wait.

Wednesday. Do you want to do your region? Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go. All right, Hit it. Is it just me? Do some iPhone alarms need to be banned? Oh, yes.

Oh, my God. Interesting. I have had the same alarm for 15 years. Which one have you got? Do you want me to play it? Yeah, go on. I don't know what it's called, but... And I remember when I chose it, if you want the truth.

I'd never set an alarm in my life, aside from when I moved to New York and I had to be up at like six every morning to get the train into Manhattan. And I chose this alarm and I've stuck with it ever since. Is it going to trigger me? Maybe. How do I pick an alarm? Right, well, don't play it on your phone. Find out the name in your settings and then look it up on YouTube. Oh, here it is. trigger me? Maybe. How do I pick an alarm? All right. Well, don't play it on your phone. Find out the name in your settings and then look it up on YouTube.

Oh, here it is. So we can hear it properly. This is my daily alarm. What's it called? It's called Coffee Time. Coffee Time? I don't think I've heard that one. Yeah.

I've got a whole thing because if it says wake up, it makes me stressed. So if there's a, cause I love coffee, one of my favorite things in the world. So it starts my day with something that I want to drink. Oh, okay. It gets me excited. It works. Maybe I'll recognize it. Bring it up on YouTube. Yeah. This is my drink. Oh, okay. It gets me excited. It works. Maybe I'll recognise it. Bring it up on YouTube.

This is my alarm. Oh, so it's not actually called coffee alarm. No. Right. I thought you meant that's the name of the ringtone. Oh, no. I just said I haven't heard it. I'm like, yeah, it's my fucking house.

Get out. This is my alarm. Ready? It's called Twinkle. Oh, yeah. Okay. Ready? This one.

That one's not that offensive, actually. It's so nice. It's a little bit annoying. It kind of plays for a bit before it wakes you up. Oh, well, this is the issue that I'm having, right? So speaking of roving a port at Oscar, he crashed at my place the other day. Yeah. And he's got this thing where he's just immune to his alarm.

Like he cannot hear it. He's numb to it. And so he'll be sitting there with his phone right next to his pillow, the alarm going off in his fucking ear, and either Sean or I will have to get up and literally shake the bed and go, Oscar, your alarm's going off. It is so triggering, his alarm. That's actually really scary.

See if you can find it on YouTube. It's called Radar. It's just one of the default iPhone alarms. Oh, I think I know. This. This is it. I'm going to be so triggered. Oh, no.

Imagine this going off for like, we usually give it a good three minutes, being like, surely he will hear it. If we can hear it from a different room, he'll hear it. He never wakes up when his alarm goes off. Who chooses that? What do you have, Mitch? What's your iPhone alarm? Well, mine.

It's one of those beautiful ones that you can set up in the health section of your phone. I'm probably mansplaining. A lot of people have already figured this out, but I am surprised how many people don't know this. What do you mean? So in the health part of your iPhone, you can set a sleep schedule. Oh, I do that, yeah. And it gives you all of these beautiful, peaceful alarm options. Mine is called First Light. And the idea is that it starts off really soft and then gradually increases so that you don't get that jolt, that panicked feeling first thing in the morning.

How beautiful is this? Let's hear. Is that something from a horror movie? Yeah. Oh. Tells a story. It does, doesn't it? Yeah, I can see this.

It's usually this part is when I go, oh, that's my alarm. Like I sort of hear it, but I'm still asleep, and then I register, oh, it's time to get up. You pull the curtain, you kick your feet in the linen, you turn around. I usually have to get up and go to the other room because I don't keep my phone in my bedroom when I sleep. So I'm like, all right, I'm up now.

And I'm not waking up all panicked and stressed. Well, unless you turn around and see Sean fucking a Squishmallow, in which case you'd be livid. Wow, this is really nice. Isn't it? And there's so many to choose from, but you have to set it up in the health section of your iPhone. And I've got it set for eight hours sleep.

So I can just drag it around to what time it's going to give me exactly eight hours. And it tells me time to wind down. If you want your full eight hours, go to bed in the next 20 minutes. Wait, can I just tell you the top comment on this? Yes. Someone's commented, as a toddler, my mum would have this alarm on her phone and I'd wake up to it. This brings back good memories. How long have they had that alarm? That's what I'm thinking. As a toddler, my mum would have this alarm on her phone and I'd wake up to it. This brings back good memories. How long have they had that alarm?

That's what I'm thinking. As a toddler, someone says, aren't these new alarms? Apple created the bedtime feature in 2016. And someone says, wait, either you're lying or you're very fucking young. That's exactly what's going on. They're probably lying. Yeah, the frigging bedtime feature has been there since 2016. You have to set it up in your iPhone.

But there's so many people that don't use it. Sean used to have a hideous alarm as well. Oh, what was Sean's? I think it's called Beacon. Beacon? Yeah. And it scares the shit out of me. And he's one of those people that sets like 14 fucking alarms.

They're all five minutes after the other in case he sleeps through it. I'm like, how could you sleep through this? I've never got that. No. One will still play. Set one alarm. Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah, no, no, no.

They need to get rid of all these really, really aggressive ones. I agree. This is my favourite of all time. This is iconic. Oh. No. Come on, that's so happy. That's more of a ringtone.

It is. I would never want to wake up to that. No, I don't know. Mine is Early Riser. You know what? What's that? What's that? Yeah.

Is that one of the beautiful ones on the bedtime? Yes. There you go. Early Riser. Here it is. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. That was mine for ages. Every morning at 4am.

See, I know it. Mine used to be called, even one of the peaceful ones, it was called Bright Eyed. Bright Eyed? And it was beautiful at first, but after a couple of years, even that became triggering, so that's why I changed it. This is what I used to wake up to when I did the early starts

for Breakfast Radio, and so it became triggering, because I'm like, oh fuck, it's 3.30am, I'm still not ready to get up. Oh, yeah. This sounds awful. This sounds like the intro to like a SBS News Bulletin. Yeah. It does too. And, this sounds awful. This sounds like the intro to like a SBS News bulletin. Yeah. It does too.

And now, SBS News. Here is Michelle Kawana and Paul Burlston. I'm expecting Lee Lynn Chin to start talking any second now. Yeah. Yeah, not anymore. God, that's so funny. What are your text tones out of interest? Because I think that, I've got custom text tones for custom people.

I don't know how to do the custom tone thing. You just go into their contact card and you change it. Oh, so you don't like choose a song or something. Nah. Mine's always silent. Oh, really? That's true. But if you've got them on the emergency contact list,

you'll hear the sound regardless. Is that real? Yeah. I did not know that. I thought you told me that you put me on the emergency push through for your phone. When I removed my ex, I put you in. Okay.

So if I call you, even on Do Not Assert, does it make a noise? Yeah. And also if I'm in a car crash and I can't get through to my mum, my dad, my two sisters, my auntie Christine, it then goes to you. Or if you're lifting weights at the gym and you accidentally set off the SOS on your watch, it calls me. Yeah. You're my next, next, next, next, next, next of kin.

Can I be the next one? Yes. It'd be my honour. Cool. No worries. Thank you. I made my ringtone because if you go to the ringtone section in your iPhone settings. Yeah, I'm going there now.

There's all of the ringtone options, but then right down the bottom there's classic, which is a whole separate menu. That brings up all the old iPhone ringtones. And mine is set to xylophone. And how lame is this? I wanted it to match Nina Proudman's iPhone ringtone from Offspring. I'm going to Google it. Xylophone ringtone.

Xylophone ringtone. This is your phone every time it rings, Mitchell. Yeah. There's something nostalgic about it. Have you seen this? What? The recording of these things? Yeah.

It's crazy. Like you see those being made. I can actually do an impression of the Facebook Messenger sound. Oh, this will be fantastic. Yeah. If you give me a sec, I just have to have a cup with the right amount of water. Oh, God. Two seconds.

Kill time. Okay. Wait, there's a cup here with water. Yeah, give it. Hang on. Okay, here we go. Should I play it for reference? Yeah, that's probably a good idea.

Yeah, we need to hear it first. Okay, calm down. I'm going to do this one. Yeah. That's too low. Give me that small cup. Oh, that'll do. It's a bit flat.

Do it again. Okay, ready? This is the sound. This is my performance. Yep. That's really good. I'll do it one more time Okay

Ready Yeah I'm very impressed Yeah I'll give it to you I'd love to know How you discovered You had that skill

Yeah me too I was sucking off Sean Above a half drunk glass of water And as I pulled my head Off his penis Right I had a knife in my hand I had a knife in my hand

And I fell onto the glass That sounded like The messenger sound. I actually don't know how I discovered it. I just had a random cooked thought one day. I'm impressed. I am too. Well done.

What can you do an impression of? Bring a marimba in here. I'll play a ringtone. No, my ringtone's the 30 Rock theme. I've said that many times, which is this. I can play it again if you really want. No one asked, but that's fine. Jenna, do you want to know? No, I have no one.

I don't think there's the show now. I think it does my ringtone. Exactly. That'd ruin it. I'd love to know what Jenna's is. Actually, I'll just send you a text, Jenna, and we'll be able to hear it. I'll just send you a text for you, Jenna. There we go. Send. Porn-up, Jenna, you dirty bitch. Jenna!

That's feral. Shut up! But yes, point remains, the really, really irritating and triggering iPhone alarms, why do they still have them as an option? No, I agree. Get rid of them. Nostalgia, baby, nostalgia. That's not nostalgic, that's just torture.

I wonder if we've tortured anyone listening. Probably. Probably. They would have those alarms and they would have freaked out. Yeah, let us know if you were triggered listening to that. Yes, please do. All right. Well, we should probably go, guys.

That's us done. All right. Let's get out of here. Oh, my goodness. Plenty more to come on the Wednesday episode, as per usual. Yeah. You can get a mug for Mugvember if you want to shop. Link in bio.

Go and buy one. If you want to sign one, we'll sign it. Did you see that someone posted in our Facebook group, is it just me or should they do a special mug release for their half a decade celebration next year? I was like, half a decade? When you put it like that, I didn't realise the podcast had been going that long.

I don't think you celebrate half a decade, to be honest. It's five years. It just sounds more impressive to say half a decade. It does sound more impressive. Yeah, it does. Let's think about that. Like rash shirts or something. I was looking into rash shirts,

but I wouldn't be able to get them made in time for this summer. But next year, someone hold me accountable to that. Yeah. Okay. It's going to happen. Sun safety for everyone. The moment there's mugs for our Teal Era Season 5. So you can buy those. Yeah. Okay. It's going to happen. All right. Sun safety for everyone. The moment there's mugs for our Teal Era Season 5. So you can buy those.

Yeah. All right. Well, guys, we'll see you in a couple of days. Yep. Catch you soon, idiots. Love ya. See ya. Bye.

Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to A to Debrief. This is our secret segment on the end. We pretend the show is done, but we keep talking shit. Absolutely. As if we'd wrap up that early. There's plenty more.

Not only is there a whole other episode on Wednesday, but we keep talking shit here, don't you worry. We just gossip. I was trying to explain AD Debrief to someone the other day and it was really hard to explain. So I just got my phone and was like, this is where they think we end, but then there's all this left. And they're like, why do you do that?

I'm like, I don't know. I actually don't know. Yeah, why do we? And then I'm like, but we have a secret Facebook group Called Endurant Idiots It's not secret though No We actually want people To join that

Oh it's real The link is also In the episode description If you're not yet An Endurant Idiot Yeah I'm an idiot And I get things confused The segment's secret

The group's public Yeah Secret segment Yeah Segments and Facebook groups Are not the same thing No Anyway

They said Endurant isn't a word. Yeah, no, we've been over this. I was like, I know, I know, I know, but you should change it then. That's not how it works. We're in too deep. No, why? No.

It really isn't a word. I feel like it should be. Don't they always talk about, you know, oh, the endurance batteries, Duracell or something, you know? They use that word. Endurance? If you endure something, if your trait is to endure, would that not make you endurant? That's true.

Yeah. It should be a word. I can't believe it's not. It feels like a word that exists. No, but also because there's endurance. Yeah. So like. Endurant.

I'm Googling it. It does come up as a word when you Google it. Yeah. But when I write it on my phone, it comes up with the red squiggly line as if I've made a typo, which just quite simply isn't fucking true. Well, Endurant is a brand of battery. It's called Endurant. Long life, reliable quality.

That's us. That's us. That's you, Jenna, to a T. Absolutely. Half a decade, mate. We're long life. If we're the Friends cast, who do you reckon is going to die first? Oh, my God.

Okay, Matthew Perry. Where did that come from? I'm just wondering, the three of us. I know we're the friends cast, who do you reckon is going to die first? Oh my god, wow. Okay, Matthew Perry. Where did that come from? I'm just wondering, the three of us. I know what you're all thinking, and fuck you. No one said anything. Oh, come on. I'm not dumb. I was going to say Jenna, because she would just come back as a ladybug or something. True. Yeah. Wait, don't you always come back as a human, or have you been reincarnated?

Depends on what I feel like. You get to pick? Yeah. Far out. That's pretty cool. Well, how many times have you been human as opposed to some sort of animal? 19 human and two animals. What were the animals? It was a witchetty grump. Yuck. And a horse.

You were a horse. I can see it. What era were you a horse? I was a horse in 1733. Oh, shit in 1733. Oh, shit. 1746. Oh, they were busy then.

I was going to say, that's basically like coming out today as a car. I was a Clydesdale. Wow. Yeah. A male? Yeah. Wow. That's pretty impressive.

Yeah. How did you perish? It was actually an accident. I don't really want to go into that. Oh, of course. I get it. Because I was a Clydesdale horse So Where's your birthmark

On your body now It's on my back Yeah that checks out Yeah Because you know they say Celebrating Jenna's birthday On the horse's birthday Yeah

Which is when The first of August Is it Yeah Okay Well that's what they say Your birthmark on your body Currently is where you died

In your past life Did you know that I gave myself a fucking birthmark the other day. What? I was using my hair appliance. Oh, no. What do you call it? Dyson.

No, not even that one. I've got a separate one. The mermaid hair thing. Oh, yeah. It adds the curls to it. I really want to bring that in and try it on Jenna's hair, by the way. I'd love to see you with a blowout. It's not a blowout.

It gives you like the Google mermaid hair. Like mermaid. No, I've given them away before. I know what they are. I'm not even sponsored, but I just, I kind of want to bring it in and demonstrate it on Jenna, which is riveting for a podcast when you can't see her. But imagine her with mermaid hair. It's so long.

Yeah, that's true. Wow. Look at this thing. But anyway, I was using that thing. It's like a crimper and I fucking burnt my shoulder. Oh no. It looks like someone's giving me a hickey on my shoulder. Oh God, you've cooked your skin.

It really is. And it only touched for like a second, and I was like, oh, ow, it didn't really hurt that much. But then I looked, and I was like, holy fuck, there's a big mark. Look at that. That's a decent burn. Yeah, you've really burned yourself. Also, look at those muscles.

Show me, Flakes. What? Show me your muscles. Like that? Yeah, look at your muscles. Oh, my goodness. Really? God, you and Sean could swap roles, my goodness. Really? God.

You and Sean can swap roles. You might have to take control. Would you ever swap to a top era? Would you go, I want this? You don't need to be the top to be in control. Oh, I'm aware. Now I know. Yeah. I can tell you who's in charge.

Oh, my goodness. Who is it? Is it fucking Clara, your squishmallow? Yes. Yeah. He's like, babe, can you just put this over your face? I really like how it holds the donut. Can you hold me the way Clara holds that strawberry donut?

Thank you. Anyway. So my horrific date chronicles continue. Not horrific. The location of the dates is really bizarre. So it was an escape room? No, I went to an escape room. Yeah.

And then this weekend I went to an Irish fish and chip shop. What? What's horrific about that? That sounds lovely. It's actually really fun, but it was just- You clearly passed the point in dating this person where you're trying to impress each other if you're going to a fish and chip shop. No, it's very special.

Also, it's very, Irish is very specific. Because, and idiots listening will know, if you've seen, I get it on TikTok all the time, it's like, hello, come and have a Chinese with me. It's British people because they call having a Chinese meal a Chinese. Oh, right. They say, I'm having a Chinese. Is it just me on the fly? Are there not enough Chinese restaurants in Sydney?

Because I go on Uber Eats and I was really fanging for a fucking Mongolian lamb from a Chinese restaurant and I could not find any nearby. I feel like there's quite a few. Really? There's a fuckload of Thai, but I couldn't find any Chinese restaurants. And they're Japanese, but no Chinese. King Street, Newtown, there are three of the same franchise.

Yeah, but Newtown has all of that. Tai Patong 1, Tai Patong 2, then there's Tai Patong the 3rd, 400 metres down the road. Not joking. Is that Chinese? No. No, it's not. No, it's not. Anyway, I kept seeing all these Chinese videos and then that progressed to come and have a spice bag.

And in the UK and Ireland, there's something at their Chinese restaurants called a spice bag and it's hot chips, chilli, salt and pepper and capsicum and onion all mixed up in a bag. Like a money bag thing? No, no. It's kind of like a very white... A hessian sack? No, no, no. It's in a box. It's in a box or just a white bag. Like a money bag thing? No, no. It's like a, it's kind of like a very white. A hessian sack?

No, no, no. It's in a box. It's in a box or just a white bag. It's like a bag of chips. Yeah, with gravy. You pour gravy on it. Oh, so it's loaded fries. It's, yeah, yeah, fries.

But it's got bits of chicken in it, onion. I'm really confused about your whole in a bag thing. What? Yeah, I just pictured an actual bag. That's nothing special. It's just loaded fries. It's like cultural. Like it's called a spice bag in the same way we'd be like i don't know what do we have like

bangers and mash that's british yeah but what do we have then i don't know meat pies yeah meat yeah meat pie yeah we don't call that a bowl of meat no we don't no we don't but we should a bag of meat anyway all right you're all being mean to me Can I just give you an is it just me on the fly? Yeah, go for it. Something I'm fucked off about at the moment. What happened? So as this podcast is released, I will have just done my Perth comedy show. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. And because I've never been to Perth in my life, I wanted to. They already booked the flights, right? They booked the flights for me, my comedy managers. And I said to them, oh, shit, you already booked them? Because I was going to ask if I could make the return flight a couple of days later and then I'll cover the accommodation so I can stay an extra few days in Perth because I've never been.

I want to explore. That's a great idea. So because they had already booked it, they tried to change it. And the difference, not even to cancel a flight, just change the booking was like 600 bucks. Jesus. What? Plus all the other fees and shit that come with that. Not even to cancel a flight Just change the booking Was like 600 bucks Jesus What? Plus all the other Fees and shit

That come with that And then an extra night's Accommodation was like 130 Which is okay I was willing to do that Yeah that's fine But I was like

The flight being 600 bucks Is fucked That's ridiculous I can't believe that And then it turns out Oh it's because Coldplay are in town What?

I was like what? I heard nothing about that I'm a Coldplay fan I didn't even know They were touring Yeah Coldplay are touring And I actually? I was like, what? I heard nothing about that. I'm a Coldplay fan. I didn't even know they were touring. Yeah, Coldplay are touring, and I actually know why they're just doing Perth. Yeah, I know. Because it's closer to the UK. Like, it's all the way on the left-hand side of the country.

I think because they've been copping flack for all the bloody jet fuel shit that they have been using on their tour. Oh, yeah. And so, as a response to people trying to cancel them for not being environmentally conscious, they've said, right, well, after we finish our Indonesia show, we'll only go to Perth. That's our only Australian show because it's closer. We don't want to go an extra few hundred k's to Sydney. That's too much jet fuel or whatever.

And so they're only doing one show and so all these people are flying to Perth. So they've jacked up the prices. I'm like, for fuck's sake, Coldplay. No. But now there's going to people are flying to Perth so they've jacked up the prices. I'm like, for fuck's sake, Coldplay. No. But now there's going to be people flying to Perth so there's just as much bloody aeroplane what do you call it? Emissions. Emissions in the sky. That is so true.

But your people are going to Perth for you. You've upped the price. Maybe like by $3. I assumed I was the most exciting performer in town that weekend, but apparently not. I would never. You couldn't pay me to go to a Coldplay concert. I've been to two. I love Coldplay. But admittedly, the concerts were like separate albums, separate eras, but they were very

much the same shit. Really? There's a lot of colourful confetti and balloons and shit. Coldplay don't really do it for me, to be honest. I love Coldplay. What was your first concert? Hilary Duff. Really?

In 2003. Wow. Yes. Mine was very embarrassing, actually. What was it? Well, I always tell people that Short Sack was my first concert because that was like my first proper concert. Yeah.

But there was a mosh pit and stuff. But technically the first concert I went to was not even the Saddle Club. It was Sophie and Kia, two people from the Saddle Club who tried to break out on their own. Look up their music. It's dreadful. Sophie and Kia. And they came to Condobolin.

Wow. They were clearly doing well. And I was very, very young. I'm sure I've still got the photo that I got with them somewhere, Jenna. You'd get a kick out of it. It was Stevie and Christy from the Saddle Club. Yes. And they tried to do their own spin-off music duo and it was just shocking.

But also it's just so random that it's the both of them. I know. Because they were enemies on the show. Like, Christy was one of the bullies. What do you want? Do you want You and Me, Nothing to Say or Planet Tokyo? Planet Tokyo, for sure. That was their lead single.

Which is the brunette with the stank face? Is that Sophie or is that... That's Sophie and she played Stevie in the Saddle Club. She needs a fucking attitude check. I'm sure she's a lovely girl, but this was not good music. But, of course, young Mitchell. I was still in primary school. I was living.

I loved it, too. All right. Is Planet Tokyo? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You four would announce it like you're on the radio, and then we'd play this. Let me listen to the post, though. Oh, God, it goes forever.

Fuck. It really does. Jesus Christ. It's going to start now. No, not yet. Now. No. Okay.

A 30 second intro. Oh my God. Did you look up a karaoke version? Is this the instrumental? No. Sorry, that was 39 seconds. No wonder they didn't hit commercial success. No radio announcer could do that.

Can you see if you can? Oh, I'm sure I can. It feels 39 seconds of chatting. Yeah, all right. Sure. Okay. All right. Thank you, Kerry and Kenley.

Great to have you on the show, honey. Good luck with your next stage production. All right, everyone. Still to come, your chance to be flown to Condobolin. Right now, though, two new artists on the scene. One, the ugliest stank face you've ever seen on a young girl. You'd think this woman was a middle-aged Kmart employee. But no, she's 12.

The other one has so much hairspray in, I'm shocked that she hasn't caught and combusted into flames. They were riding horses. Now they're riding the airways. This song is massive. Number 27 on the Cessnock charts. Oh, no, I fucked it. You still haven't said the artist or the song name.

Sophie and Kia. Here's Planetokia. Keep listening. Isn't it shocking? It's amazing. Is that Sophie or Kia? I think they're singing in unison. Both of them.

What? Yeah. To be honest, if Olivia Rodrigo released this, everyone would have eaten that. That's a good point. You're right. That is so true. They were ahead of their time. That's always been their problem, the Saddle Club. I saw it on TikTok. It was like every Olivia Rodrigo song is just like

you're mean, you're bad, you broke my heart, I'm going, I'm sad, fuck you! That is so true. She knows her audience. She does know her audience. She hits off people after a breakup. Children. I bet there was a lot of Olivia Rodrigo on rotation for you. There was so much.

See? And then she released a song going, fuck your ex or whatever it is. Oh, yeah, that's right. She's like, I really want to do it. I'm really, really naughty. I'm going to do a thing. I'm in his bedroom. Oh, my God.

I was like, maybe I should. Thanks, Liv. I'm like, they've got the brain was like Maybe I should Thanks Liv I'm like They've got the brain Of a 16 year old girl Oh that's really funny But yeah no But the point of that story

Was they've jacked up The prices for Coldplay And now I'm really worried Because I've got tickets To Taylor Swift in Melbourne And I still haven't Booked flights Or accommodation

To get there Because I'm too scared To face the reality That they've jacked The prices up for everything Yeah but Mitch It's gonna get worse So you need to book it You need to book it now Well I'm too scared to face the reality that they've jacked the prices up for everything. Yeah, but Mitch, it's going to get worse. I know. You need to book it now.

Well, I'm going with a group of friends and I've just been waiting for someone else to step up because I'm not really known for admin. That's not really my thing. I've been waiting for someone else to take charge and it's going to have to be me, isn't it? Mitch, in this group, you're known for the admin. It's true. I'm really not, though.

You are. For us. Between the three of us. Duh. Is that what I mean? Yeah, of course. But I don't take to it like a fucking duck to water. I hate it. No. I'm really not, though. You are. Oh, between the three of us. Duh. Is that what I mean? Yeah, of course. But I don't take to it like a fucking duck to water. I hate it.

No. I hate admin. I'm quite good at it, but I hate it. You are good at it. You are very good at it. Is it just me, or is it possible to be really good at something and hate it at the same time? What a relatable question.

That is so relatable. I got invited to Christina Aguilera, but I didn't have anyone to take. Oh. You got a plus one. She's in Melbourne. Yeah, I got a plus one. I've got friends going to that, too, but I didn't have anyone to take. Oh. You got a plus one. She's in Melbourne, yeah. I got a plus one. I've got friends going to that too, and I said to them, how could you? I understand you booked tickets before Britney Spears' memoir came out, but people have turned

on Christina Aguilera after that. What's the beef? I saw her in Las Vegas. Christina? Yeah. Was she good? She was actually really good. Wait, did someone explain the beef?

Yeah, please explain. Please explain? I can't remember. I can't actually remember. Come on. There's got to be an article about it. But there was a few times that Brittany, she didn't go in and, you know, criticise Christina, but there were a few things that she said in passing that were just like, oh, God, that's a dog act from Christina, isn't it?

Oh, right. Because weren't they in that Mickey Mouse Club or whatever together? They were, in a way, competitors, even though they started as part of the same team. And Christina just didn't stand up for her at all and she made things difficult for her when things were difficult for her. I love Brittany. Have you seen the TMZ footage of her being pulled over by the police?

No. She gets pulled over by the police. This is like a month ago. She gets pulled over by the police because she's speeding. And they're like, ma'am, you've been speeding. What's your excuse? And she goes, I just really need to go into a tinkle she's what she's just like us do you know what i take from that yeah she was driving good for you britney yeah she was banned from driving her

father wouldn't let her here do you want to read it do you want to hear it this is it this is her the the body cam footage he's walking up to her white mercedes-benz yeah yeah pass on the double yellows. You can't do that. I'm so sorry. Do you have your license? Yeah, it's a TT. But what is TT?

P is. P. But wouldn't you say PP? What does T stand for? Let me listen. Did she say TT? Yeah, she said. Okay, yeah.

Sorry, I had a TT. My house is right there. What the fuck does that mean? I had a TT. What about that post where she's going on about meeting Taylor Swift? And then she brings up her mum's beef. She's like, it goes. Did you see that, Mitch?

No. P.S. No, read the first part. Okay. The first part is, this is way back when, but kind of cool. During my oops tour, I got a knock at my door. My good friend at the time was the assistant to my manager who was trying to become a manager himself. There was a knock and then he said,

I have a girl named Taylor who wants to come in and sing for you. I was like, of course. He walks in and she sings a beautiful song with her guitar. I was like, wow, wow, she's unbelievable. We took a picture and she then became the most iconic pop woman of our generation. Kind of cool she plays stadiums and I prefer her videos over movies any day.

She's stunning. Girl crush. P.S. Mum, I love you so, so much, but there were three dolls in the cabinets when I went home two years ago. Kind of really weird you would take them out and then put them back in. So messed up. Nope, I don't want them. Keep it all. I honestly don't care

anymore. Honestly, though. What the fuck? This is the same post about loving Taylor. This is it. That is so bizarre. Oh my god, show me the photo. It's pretty cute. Wow. Pretty cute. Random question. This has nothing to do with anything we were talking about, but have you been watching the new Real Housewives of

Sydney? Yes. No. You have? Yep. How far in? No. I haven't watched the recent episode. Okay, well. I'm past the one about the fur and stuff. Oh, well, the most recent one is the most unhinged. Like, finally we're getting into classic Housewives ridiculous drama. It's great. I need to watch it.

Yes. Honestly, watch the first episode. You could probably even skip two, three, maybe even four. Just five and six is when I'm like, okay, now we're getting somewhere. Yeah, it's been on my list. I just haven't had time. Dr. Kate is a regular contributor to my other podcast. She's a fucking piece of work on this show.

Dr. Kate. Yeah. She on the cat show. She's the Bondi vet. She was on that reality show alongside Chris Brown back in the day, but now she's one of the Real Housewives. What's her name? Dr. Kate.

Dr. Kate something. What is her last name? Fuck, I know this. Oh, I know it. She follows me. Chrissy Marsh follows me and always loveheart reacts to my story. I'm like, Chrissy Marsh. What? Oh, I'm so jealous. Dr. Kate Adams. That's it. I've never seen

this woman in my life. She a piece of work, Mitchell. Well, she's just, um, it was the whole fur debate, basically. Because obviously she's a vet. She gives a shit about animals. That's a given. But one of the other girls on there, Victoria, wore a fur jacket. To a conservation park. Yes.

Not a good idea. And so Kate brought it up. Fair enough. You're passionate about that. But then she just will not drop it. And it's been going on for more than one episode now. And it's like, oh, my God. Every time Victoria tries to make amends, she just keeps doubling down.

And I'm like, okay, now you're just being a pain in the ass. She's actually a really lovely person. I'm going to have to watch. And she gives me great advice for Connie. I'm sure she does. Yeah. Can I show you this one bit on Housewives? The most recent episode, episode six, I believe.

I had to keep rewinding it and playing it again because it's so stupid. It's not even a mispronunciation. It's just the way that someone pronounces something. Nicole is her name and she's teaching her daughter how to cook because she's about to move out of home and live at uni on campus. And so she's teaching her how to cook. And it's just the way she says this sentence that I found it so funny. I'll play it for you.

Ready? Yeah, go. This is a very basic pasta that I thought I would show you today. It's very important for Noelle to learn to cook. It's very important for anyone to learn how to cook. How does she say the word cook as such a short syllable? She's like, I think it's important for Noir to learn to cook. It's important for anyone to learn to cook.

Yeah, that was very quick. Because everything else is slow. Yeah, thinking how well-spoken she is. Very important for Noir to learn to cook. How does she do it? I'm actually impressed at how quickly she can get those O's in there. It's such a stupid thing for me to get hung up on, but I rewound and laughed like three times.

Play it one more time. Yeah. This is a very basic pasta that I thought I would show you today. It's very important for Noir to learn to cook. It's very important for anyone to learn how to cook. Yeah, I didn't read Brittany's memoir. I actually listened to the audiobook. Yeah.

And who better to learn how to cook than from Nicole? She's a good cook. She's a really good cook. She is. Cookbook. She sounds like the cash cook. That's funny. We've got to go. I're going to go.

I've got to go. That's how much Dutch grandmother says poo. She goes, I've got to do a poo. Or I've got to do a TT. Yeah. I'm so sorry it's coming out. Yuck. P.S. Mom.

Yeah. The dolls. It's so ridiculous. Although I feel like I've arrived at that age early where it's very imperative that when I get home and I need to piss, I get the fucking side ASAP. Yeah. The other day, I came home and I had heaps of shit that I was carrying, and I got all the way upstairs, and I'm like, I'm about to TT. I'm about to fucking piss everywhere.

And then I realized that I'd taken off the actual house key from the key ring, because it hits my leg when it jingles in the car. So you don't like it. So it was still downstairs in the car, in the cup holder. So I had to go back down the elevator and get my house keys. And it was genuinely, I'm not being dramatic, it was painful. Like I really need to piss. And I was focusing all my energy on not leaking.

Yuck. I've gone to that age where I'm like, if I need to piss, it needs to happen now. Just talking about it, I need to piss. Isn't that fucked? Now, I am one of those people that like when I need to piss, it needs to happen now. Just talking about it, I don't need to piss. Isn't that fucked? No, I am one of those people that when I need to wheel, even worse, number two. And the closer I get to the toilet, there is a proximity effect. It's like there's an air tag in my arsehole.

My body's like, the closer I get, the more it starts to come out. I've timed it perfectly. As I pull it out, it starts. I'm not joking. Anyway. Oh, my God, I was wearing active wear at the Arias. Not active wear. Skims.

Like shapewear. Yeah. Oh, like the bloody bike shorts. Yeah. Yeah. But it goes up and it sucks your tummy in. But they're also really comfortable. They're so comfortable.

I just have a bit of loose skin from the weight loss. So I like to just put the skims on. Yeah. Do you have loose skin? You've got. I've always had it because I was a fucking obese child. Do you actually have loose skin? Yes. I did not know that. It's like, I don't know what to do about was a fucking obese child. Do you actually have loose skin? Yes.

I did not know that. It's like, I don't know what to do about it. There isn't really anything you can do, hey? You can get it removed unless it's, if it's really bothering you. Do you reckon I'll do a two for one? Can we? Oh my God. Do you reckon if we fuck off Hinge and we'll just get skin surgery ads on the show?

I imagine that. Mitch, you've still got floppy skin. I sure do, Mitch. Listen, I'm working with Dr. Nwindi to cut me good. No, I don't mind it. My tummy will always be very saggy, which is fine. I don't mind it. But I put my shapewear on because it keeps it all intact.

Anyway, I had to do a poo, like I said. So you literally have to pull it all off. Oh, it's awful. I wore those bike shorts that I usually wear when I'm exercising. Mostly I wear them underneath shorts to stop the chafing. I haven't tried exercising without them now that I've lost weight. Maybe I won't chafe anymore, but still it's just a comfort thing. Yeah. I don't chafe as bad now that my legs aren't rubbing constantly together. But then I realized that those bike shorts that I wear, the tight skin things, they don't go up to my gunt.

They just go from the waist down. They're really handy if you don't want your shirt to come untucked. If you wear that under your shorts, tuck the shirt into that and then tie the knot around one of the buttons so it won't come up. That's good. The problem is, though, the bike shorts are quite long. They, like, go down to your knee. Oh, so you have to wear pants.

And I did a whole fucking comedy show in Brisbane where I was wearing a black pair of shorts and you could see the bike from underneath. That's hell. But we live and we learn. For Adelaide and Perth, I fucking hacked them with scissors. We sure did. Good, good. Alright, we should go. Let's get out of here. Yeah, sure. We better. Thanks for listening, everyone. Yeah, thank you. I'm liking this mowing you. It's an interesting new look. Oh, now I know it wasn't a real genuine compliment. You just did it for another gag. I did.

It's a good look. Fuck you. Yeah, it is a good look. Yeah. I love BTS. You know who my favourite member is? Who? Jungkook.

I'm sure. Who hosts the Arias again? Oh, it was... Bokoboni. You know, I had a little Disney marathon the other night. Did you? Oh, yeah. You know what I watched? What?

Well, I watched Emperor's New Groove, Monsters, Inc. Yep. Hook. By hook and by crook. Yeah. What happened to Maddie McCann? Oh, she was took. She was took.

There was someone who everyone thought was Maddie McCann? Oh, she was took. She was took. There was someone who everyone thought was Maddie McCann, but no, they'd missed took. Yeah. Yeah. Because it was all to do with the wrong look. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, her parents have done everything.

Press, interviews. The one thing they need to do is release a book. And not a cookbook. No, definitely not. I mean. Maybe even an e-book. No, definitely not. I mean. Maybe even an e-book. What would they do? The Flavors of Pride Alluge?

I don't know. Oh, God. We sound cooked. We need to go. Let's go. Do the catch call. Oh, yeah, of course. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today.

That's all. So we do. So we do. So we do. All right. We'll see you guys in a couple of days. Yeah, we'll catch you on Wednesday idiots. Bye bub. See you idiots. Bye. Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.