Is It Just Me? - #175: Churi Got TRAPPED

Episode Date: November 26, 2023

In this episode: The sun is so disruptive (08:35) An update on our eBay pots (15:40) Churi was TRAPPED on a date (20:47) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (38:53) No, Coombs DIDN’T mispronounce “incest” (41:32) Thumbs up, thumbs down (43:14)   BUY OUR POTS ON EBAY! The winning bid will be donated to a charity of your choice. Churi's pot: www.ebay.com.au/itm/134818921373 Coombs' pot: www.ebay.com.au/itm/134818918985?   MUG-VEMBER: Order your 'Teal Era' mug here: coupleofmitches.myshopify.com   Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitches Send us a text: 0422 948 202See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you. Hello you. Go! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Would you rather sit on a cake and eat a dick or sit on a dick and eat a cake? Sit on a dick and eat a cake, absolutely.

If you sit on a cake, you ruin it. Do you think I'd ever waste a cake by sitting on it? Now here's Mitch Turey and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, you. Hello, you. Oh, we have different energies. Yeah, we do. I'm fucking knackered today.

Yeah, well, listen, I was knackered when I finished my national tour. You finished your tour. Yeah, I mean, it sounds really, really dramatic when you say I've just finished a national tour. I just had a long weekend, really. It was two Adelaide shows and a Perth show. How many planes? How many trips?

I can't even remember. It feels like a hundred. Isn't it fucked? Being in airports and being on flights is painful. Multiple in a couple of days. The worst thing in the world. Do you know what was the worst thing? Because I was in Perth for so little time, less than 24 hours.

Yep, same. When I flew from Adelaide to Perth and then the next morning Perth to Sydney, I was in Perth for such a short amount of time that they assumed that Perth was a mere layover and wouldn't give me my bag. Oh. They literally put my suitcase behind the thing and were like, yeah, yeah, we'll just put that aside for your Sydney flight in the morning. I'm like, no, I need it now.

I'm not just camping in the fucking airport. Yeah, like no idiot would ever come to Perth for 24 hours. Or less than. Or less than, yeah. Did you like Perth? Because I was exactly the same. I think I had 18 hours in Perth. Oh, how greedy.

It was awful. I know, right? Selfish. And I loved it. It was really cute. I mean, I didn't get the biggest vibe of it. I didn't have much time. I got there at like 2 p.m.

Yeah. Fucked around for an hour wrestling for my bag. Yeah. Went to the venue for soundcheck, went to the hotel for the quickest nap of my life. And then went to the venue. And when I finished my show at like 10 p.m. ish, a little bit before, because it was at a gay club, essentially, I thought I could go downstairs.

It was like the Perth equivalent of Imperial. Yeah, yeah. It's like a gay pub. Cute. So when I went downstairs, I thought, yeah, I can just kick on, have a few drinks. It was all closed. Everything closed on a Sunday. And so that was my impression of Perth.

Just dead. Nothing. On a Saturday night? Sunday. Oh, Sunday. That's fair. And then I went for a little walk the next morning. And yes, it was pretty, but I didn't have much time to enjoy myself.

Your show's as well more than a show. You're full Taylor Swift. You're doing meet and greets. You're getting photos with mums and fans. You're making clay clits. It's my favourite part, the little meet and greet. They're cute, aren't they? I really...

And I love the idiots that went. They sent photos in. Yeah. And they posed. I saw some complaints. I didn't want to bring them to your attention. But I'm glad you enjoyed it. The show's good.

They were really good shows. I may as well mention this now. Coming up in episode 176 this Wednesday, I'm telling you about two moments during my shows over the weekend that are keeping me up at night. They're haunting me because there were two moments where I made a bit of a fuckhead of myself. Oh, really?

Yeah. Is it one, the shapewear incident? No, that was in Brisbane. That was ages ago. Oh, because I had a shapewear a fuckhead of myself. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, is it one of the shapewear incident? No, that was in Brisbane. That was ages ago. Oh, because I had a shapewear moment too when I was on stage and I've only just seen them because they sent professional photos. And what happened? Oh my God.

My shapewear was just, you know when the shapewear that I wear, the skims, goes just, cuts off just under my nipples? Anyway, I was sweating profusely because I was on stage anxious. Yeah. So it like folded down. So it made my top roll way more. It made it worse. When it starts to roll, that's not helpful.

Yeah, it rolls down. You know when you get a long sock and you're a kid and you'd get your hand at the top and you'd roll it down and it looks like a donut? That's exactly what happened. I've worn things that have done that before. And then I'm on stage trying to make jokes and I look like I've got a hula hoop around my waist.

So bad. Okay, so you had two embarrassing moments. There were two. And I will tell you about them on Wednesday. Yeah, okay, great. What am I talking about Wednesday? Huh? You're very well thought out. I don't even think I can tease what I'm talking about on Wednesday.

Should I make something up? On Wednesday, my surgery announcement. Surgery announcement? Yeah. What if we just did really terrible hooks to see if people would stick around? And see if they question it. Yeah. Whatever happened to the surgery announcement you were going to do?

Yeah, yeah. Mitch and I read the obituaries from the local paper Wednesday. Can't wait. Mitch makes a Nutribullet smoothie Wednesday, guys. You will not believe the ingredients that he puts in that thing. I'd be happy to do that. Remember that time I made milkshakes on the podcast? Oh, God, yes.

And people still send us photos of lime milkshakes to this day. I'm glad they do because I know where to find them. Although I've still got fucking two litres. Well, four litres in total. I've got the Blue Heaven milkshake flavouring and the lime flavouring at the top of my kitchen cupboard. And people ask me all the time, what the fuck are they about? You know what we need to do with that? We could make Christmas cocktails because it's green.

We could make, you know what we could do? Fuck, that's a great call. I'm doing that. Why don't we do it on one of the last episodes christmasy yeah we'll get like baileys yes the green lime flavoring oh that might be great no no i'm thinking i i know where your head's at and then we just add peppermint and then it's pepper it's peppermint yeah it's candy hello true just put a candy cane in it it's candy cane yes let's do christmas cocktails perfect blue's gonna be hard i mean there's nothing blue about christmas oh post christmas depression cocktail you know the day after when you're fucking depressed christmas that's my mom my mom is always so depressed

after christmas no it's not necessarily depression i just feel like everyone has that weird head space between christmas and new year's where they're like what's going on oh my god that is so smart hey like i'm trying to brand the cocktail. This is the cocktail for that, like, purgatory five-day period between Christmas and New Year. Is there a word for that? Oh, that period? Yeah. Hell. I hate it.

Actually, I kind of love it. Me too, actually. It's like the purge. I'd love to be in one of those phases right now where there's just, like, no thoughts required. Just chill. Bliss, huh? When I got back from Perth, I went to bed that night at my place and I started to feel the full body aches and pains coming on.

Oh no. And I was like, this feels familiar. Yep. This feels like COVID. Yep. I did a test the next morning and it was negative. And I thought, well, that can't be right. I'll do another test.

That was also negative. And is it weird that I was quite disappointed? Well, you saw the week that I had. I had a week of bliss. Exactly. I was in bed for eight days. Because if you've got COVID, people leave you the fuck alone. They do.

It's a valid excuse to get out of commitments and whatever. Whereas this week, I really could have done with that. But, oh, everyone's been nagging me this week. I've got so much to do. Yeah, a sad story. And this is true. I got the new iPhone in the middle of having COVID. That's so sad.

No, no, no. It's context. I did get the 15 Pro Max though. Why? It's beautiful. And I wasn't getting any messages after. And I'm like, I need to go talk to a genius. Something's wrong.

There was nothing wrong. No one just cared for me. Oh, wow. No one was talking to me. None of my apps were going off. I'm like, notifications must have been turned off. No, they were all on. Just no one gave a shit. Oh, that's a bit sad. You're right. Also, I wasn't posting. I was doing the hot girl walk content every day. And then I got

COVID and I posted nothing for a week. And you get used to that dopamine hit of having hundreds of people in your DMs to talk to and they're responding to content. This sounds so unrelatable. Oh no, you can relate, can't you? No, I know what you're talking about, but I don't really rely on that for dopamine, to be honest. Oh, interesting. Right.

Yeah. Well, I'm fucked in the head. You needy, needy bitch. I am. All right. Welcome to Is It Just Me, everyone. We start every show with an Is It Just Me, something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate.

Mitch doesn't know mine. I do not know Mitch's and I don't want to. We've got one each today. I've got to say I'm feeling tired and cranky, so I'm leaning into that. I think that's probably for the best. Now, look, because we're technically in a relationship. I'm your longest relationship. Yes, that's true.

Do you want me- I mean, apart from like siblings and parents, yes. Yeah, but yeah, non-family relationship. Yeah, okay. And we see each other and we talk at the same length as couples. And intimacy, we talk about very intimate things. I don't know if that's true. We see each other once a week.

How many other friends have you consistently seen every week for five years? Yeah, that's true. True. You got me there. Yeah. Do you want me to lift you up or do you want me to be at your level? For what? Like, because you're like, I'm feeling grumpy.

Do you want me to try and, like, am I going to be going, you know? That'll make me more grumpy. All right. After five years, you'd think you'd know what pushes me buttons. I went on a date and it was, I think it was the perfect me date, but I think it's your date from hell. That's my issue. Yeah.

Perfect for Mitch Turi, awful for Coombs. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah, yeah. Do you want me to kick things off or are you going to? No, you start because, yeah, I'm still recovering from mine. I think the police are still after me. What the fuck did you do?

Oh, yeah. All right, I'll tell you soon. All right. You ready? Yeah, let's go. Is it just me or is the sun so fucking disruptive? Wait, are you talking as if you're a parent? You're talking about your squishmallow?

No, the sun. Honey, the sun in the sky. Oh, what's it done to you? It's just disruptive, isn't it? No, we kind of need it. It's very important. It burns you. It fades your fucking blankets.

Yep, your skin. Yep. Yes. SPF, very important. I literally changed my bedding the other day and one of my blankets is just faded on one side because it's the side of the bed that catches a bit of sun. Wait, like on your bed it gets faded? Yes.

Jesus. And I was like, oh, fuck that. But the worst thing is that if I want to watch television during the day, I have to convert my house into some sort of doomsday prepper bunker. No light whatsoever. And yet I can still see my house into some sort of doomsday prepper bunker. Yeah. No light whatsoever. And yet I can still see my reflection on the screen. What the fuck's up with that?

Why is my TV so dull? I agree with you. We've reached a point in technology that we need to be able to bump it up. You know what I hate? When the sun shines on your iPhone and your iPhone goes, oh, you know what I'm going to do to combat this? I'm going to pull brightness all the way down to zero. I go, I want the opposite.

Bump that shit up. Like Apple have it wrong. You know when you're on a walk and the sun is beaming on your phone, it goes, pulls the brightness down. Yeah, how's that helpful? It doesn't make sense. I think I might have turned that setting off because it was annoying me. You turned that off? I think so.

Oh, my God, I can do that after. What is it called? It's like the transition lenses that people wear. You know the glasses that convert to sunglasses in the sun, but sometimes they'd come back from recess and it would stay in sunglass form for quite some time. My nem would do that and she'd bump into the kitchen cupboard because it takes about five minutes to adjust from being sunglasses. That's not good technology.

My Apple Watch does it sometimes. If I'm out at lunch and then I go to check the time, you just don't know the time. It's piss black. That's the whole point of the Apple Watch, is it not? Fuck the sun. Fuck the sun. I completely agree. Do you know what else?

I had my first reunion hairdressing appointment with Franco the other day. Oh, my God, yeah. He gave me a hug. It was so nice. Oh, please. And so I was with him and I said, I need to ask you about heat damage. I'm just noticing my hair is getting a little frizzy. And he goes, oh, well, do you put heat protector on before you style it with some sort of heating product, the Dyson or the hair dryer, whatever?

And I said, yes, always. I always do. And he goes, do you put heat protector spray before you go outside? I was like, no, why the fuck would I do that? He goes, oh, well, the sun can actually do that. It can damage your hair and leave it frizzy and heat damaged as well. And I'm like, oh, well, excuse me for trying to get outside and go for my fat bitch walks, trying to get some more vitamin fucking D and this is the price I pay.

My gorgeous locks, fucked. You're just trying to do an FBW and God forbid the sun is out to get you. Exactly. Wait, I didn't realise the sun could cook your hair. Neither did I. It's too late now. Let me tell you, it's cooked my face. I've got that many more freckles since being out in the sun walking,

doing my hot girl walks. They're kind of sweet, though. Do you like them? I love the sun. Yeah, fuck the sun. No, I like the sun. She's good for something. No, I agree.

You know what? Okay, we're all about contrast. What about this? A nice sit in the sun. Like in spring. Not summer. You're not going to sweat, but you're just going to sit in the sun. Like in spring. Not summer. You're not going to sweat, but you're just going to sit in the sun. And the sun's going to warm, bathe your body.

Not a sunbake. Just like a front porch, cup of tea, Isabella sitting there. I can fuck with that. Yes. Yeah, a bit of heat from the sun is fine. I can fuck with that. Yep, okay. That's about it.

They're the only pros I can think of. I'm sure I could think of more, but I'm just pissed off at the TV situation. That's what does my head in. I agree. I've realised the worst app of them all, like all the streaming apps, the worst one for trying to watch TV during the day, I'm happy for it to go on record, Amazon Prime Video. Are you sure? Dark as fuck.

Seriously. What do you mean? Like the user interface is dark? Well, if you're trying to watch a show on Amazon Prime, it seems to be darker than every other streaming service. Oh, right. I get you. And so I can't watch freaking Deadlock during the day.

I had to start using my Apple TV to watch it instead of just the built-in app on my TV because for some reason Apple TV is just slightly brighter. Same platforms. Amazon Prime is just slightly brighter on the Apple TV. And I've cranked the brightness all the fucking way up But I shouldn't have to I shouldn't have to see it I'm so sorry

I just felt like I was talking to my grandmother I've had the exact same conversation with Alma Is that not annoying though? Trying to watch television during the day and it's really dark It is, it is It definitely is It's very hard My midday movies have not been the same

Well exactly Since the sun's been on them No, I completely agree But even free to air I think that's fine. There's no glare issues there. It's just streaming and stuff. Oh, you think it's just, yeah, because the streaming apps are all black and they've all

got the black with the grey. It's very moody. I'm talking about the actual shows, though. Oh, God, no. Like, the shows just seem really dark. Even watching Friends the other day, for some reason, it was dark as fuck. Well, that's because Matt just died, so. Oh, well.

Yeah, it's very dark. Don't be like that. Too soon. Different vibe, that's because Matt just died, so. Oh, well. Yeah, it's very dark. Don't be like that. Too soon. Different vibe, true. Is it just me? You can follow the show online. Just search Couple of Mitches. If you don't, you're a dickhead.

Now, we need to remind you that it is Mugvember. We are still towards the end of Mugvember. Yeah, not for long. Mugvember is nearly over. This Thursday is the last day that our mug shop is open. Oh, my God. So if you want to get our Season 5 teal era mug, now's your fucking chance. I don't know why, when you said our mug shop, I'm picturing a tuck shop.

And I'm picturing like a roller blind. You know the metal roller blinds that make such a fucking racket when you open them? I know. There's a padlock around them so they stay locked. Do you know what was so depressing, by the way? Side note. Another travel story. Just two of things.

Yeah. I have this weird thing where if I'm feeling a bit anxious or whatever, if I have beautiful fingernails, all is right in the world. Oh. And so I was feeling a bit nervous about my first show, the Friday night show in Adelaide. And it was like 4 something p.m. And I thought I'm going to duck down and get some clear nail polish because if I put that on, it makes them look all shiny, well done, I'll be happy, all is good in the world.

I walked down from my hotel room at 4.58 and I just walked down Rundle Mall watching everyone slam those fucking tuck shop shutters down. Like everything closes at five, including Coles and Woolworths. What the fuck, Adelaide? Oh, so you didn't get your gloss? I didn't. And I was a wreck. Oh, Mitchell.

I'm sure. What did you have to do? Did you clean them? Was there a little toiletries kit in the hotel room? No, I brought mine with me, obviously. I buffed and shined them. Of course. Look how good they look today.

I was just thinking they were really nice. I was like, I may be knackered as all fuck, but like hell I'll have sc me, obviously. I buffed and shined them. Of course, of course. Look how good they look today. I was just thinking they look really nice. I was like, I may be knackered as all fuck, but like hell, I'll have scabby nails. For me, I feel great when my hair is on point. Like, I could be having the world's worst day, but if my hair is perfectly coiffed and I look into reflection, I go, God, that's good head hair. I'm happy. Yeah, I was having a good hair day that day, so it was all fine. Yeah, good.

But yeah, anyway, buy a fucking mug while you've got the chance. Just go and do it. You can buy a normal mug. You can buy a normal mug. You can buy a signed mug. Mitch and I hand sign these mugs. We've got a down pat. Mitch opens the box. I sign mine.

It dries. He signs his back in box. Jenna's there sitting doing nothing. We really are. Oh, speaking of merchandise available, our eBay listings are in full swing. Our auction. Our auction. Yes, that was a gavel.

That was our auctioneer, Julie. Nice. I see what you did there. How's the auction going, Julie? Thank you. She doesn't speak. So we're selling the pots that we made as part of our pottery class during Hobby Hunt. Mm-hmm.

And we've popped them on eBay. Again, we should clarify, the money goes to a charity of a winner's choice. Not the same with our actual merch mugs we're selling. That goes to us, baby. We'll take that and we're going to actual merch mugs we're selling. That goes to us, baby. We'll take that and we're going to Pride Deluge on a holiday together. Now, let me tell you. Why Pride Deluge? I don't know.

Because it's so funny to say. It's your go-to. I've noticed that. Pride Deluge. Well, that's where Matty McCann went missing. I know. That's why I'm like, why does he keep glamorising it? It's really been tarnished.

Okay, I'll change it. But it needs to be another uh, uh, uh, because it's so funny. Turks and Caicos. That's my new one. Where the fuck's that? I don't know, but Britney talks about it. Britney Spears. Where?, because it's so funny. Turks and Caicos. That's my new one. Where the fuck's that? I don't know, but Britney talks about it. Britney Spears. Where?

All you want to do is go Turks and Caicos. Turks and Caicos. Is that a thing? Google it. How do I spell it? T-U-R-K-S. Oh. And Caicos.

I think it's in like the Maldives? A British overseas territory southeast of the Bahamas. They look fucking lovely. Yeah, they're gorgeous. Turks and Caicos. Right, I will go to Turks and Caicos. That's fine. With your merch money for these mugs, we're going to Turks and Caicos.

But no, the ceramics, handmade by Coombs and Turi, are handmade, one of a kind. Money goes to your charity. I'm miffed because you're currently in the lead of the auction. Seriously? I wondered which one was going to be worth more. Well're currently in the lead of the auction. Seriously? I wondered which one was going to be worth more. Well, let me run you through the stats. Can I also just say, and I'm not being biased here, my mug is way more universal than your bullshit

bowl. How on earth do you figure that? When do you use a bowl? Cereal? Dinner? Daily. I'm always running out. They're always in the dishwasher. That's exactly right. They stay in the dishwasher. Mug, drinks, any sort of liquid. You can have coffee. You can have a shot. I'm always running out. They're always in the dishwasher. No. Yeah, that's exactly right. They stay in the dishwasher. Mug, drinks, any sort of liquid. You can have coffee.

You can have a shot. You can have a wine from that thing. You could put dips. You could put olives. You could put tuppers. You can't have a wine in a mug. That'd feel wrong. But you could.

You could. It'd feel wrong. Well, can you have a wine in a bowl? Well, I don't see why not. By your logic. If I know anything about our listeners, it's that they're fucking alcoholics. My mug is better, and it's losing the bids. Yours currently, Mitchell.

Your argument about mugs being more practical might be valid if your mug wasn't a fucking chode mug. Like you snapped the clay while you were making the pot. So it's like a skerrick of a mug. It's not a fully fledged mug. It's really quite small. And I always use my oversized coffee cup. I don't care about all the others I've got. I prefer the oversized one. I'm not going to lie to you. You couldn't have a nice-edged mug. It's really quite small, yeah. And I always use my oversized coffee cup. I don't care about all the others I've got.

I prefer the oversized one. I'm not going to lie to you. You couldn't have an ice latte in this thing. Nah. You'd put four ice cubes in it. You'd get no milk. It would not work. So mine's more for tapas.

We've already established it's a ramekin. It's not a ramekin. It fucking is. It's not a... No, don't rubbish my piece. Anyway, you're winning by about $45. Oh, is that all? And good for you.

How much? $45 you're winning. No, as in like how much in total? It'll change by the time the episode's out, but I'm curious. $215. Oh, wow. Yeah, and I'm $175. God, $215.

I did not expect that. Holy shit. We still have over a week at the time of recording. You know, someone messaged me, though, and said, hi, I've accidentally bid $1,000 on Coombs' mug. What do I do? And I said, own it. Yeah, fucking deal with it.

And I did help her out. And she cancelled her bid. Oh. But it didn't show as $1,000 because it only will put it up to, that's like your max bid. So if anyone else bids before, it bumps you up by like $5. So you just keep winning until someone else bids above $1,000. Oh, fuck. It's like auto bid.

Yeah, it's very cool. But I help them cancel it. But now people can go rig it. If they know people have got auto bids set, they'll just go and start punching it up. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I don't like that. No. No dummy bidding, idiots.

No, our auction is in full swing. Game on, mole. How long is it? When does it close? How long have people got left to bid? The afternoon of Tuesday the 28th. No dummy bidding, idiots. No, our auction is in full swing. Game on, mole. How long is it? When does it close? How long have people got left to bid? The afternoon of Tuesday the 28th is when it closes. Oh, shit. Okay.

So if you're hearing this episode the day it comes out on the Monday, fucking get bidding. Yeah, you've got to get bidding. You've got 24 hours to bid and win a piece of IJM history. And you know what? I'll put a surprise gift in my mug. A surprise guest. Just a rat. Just a ratatouille.

It's Guy Sebastian. And a ramekin. How good. Well, he'd fit. What? Well, he's tiny. Famously very short. Is he?

Yes. Angels Brought Me Here. Did you see that he re-released Angels Brought Me Here? Yeah, and he called it Angels Brought Me Here Again. That kind of sounds like he's fed up with the situation. He's like, oh, Angels Brought Me Here Again. That kind of sounds like he's fed up with the situation. He's like, oh, angels brought me here again. Fuck's sake. How does this keep happening?

Angels lay off. When you order an Uber to a location that's dropped you off in the wrong spot more than once. Oh, the Uber brought me here again. Poor guy. Anyway, mugs available for Mugvember and you can go and bid. You can go and bid on our ceramics. Are you ready for your original? Yeah.

I'm not sure if I'm ready. Today's going to have to be one of those days where I stand up. Oh, you're losing energy. With the mic, just to kind of keep me more alert. I'm fading already. Gee, you have such confidence in your co-host. You're like, fuck, he's about to talk for an extended period of time. No, I just know what I'm like.

I already feel more alert now that I'm standing. All right, good. It's like I'm doing stand-up. How are we feeling tonight? Terrible. All right, good. It's like I'm doing stand-up. How are we feeling tonight? Terrible. All right, let's go. Bradley! Is it just me or?

Does being trapped on a date for three hours sound like your idea of a personal hell or heaven? Depends on the person. If you're hating it and you're trying to wrap it up and you're maybe even pulling that trick where you get a friend to text you and you're like, oi, can you call me and pretend there's an emergency? If you're trapped there, fuck that. What if you are in an emergency with that date? And what if there is no phone service? Okay, that doesn't sound ideal.

That's what happened to me. Although it could make you closer. So, well, it did, and I loved it. It was like my dream situation. You know I love the escape room. I love the codependency. I'm like, oh, we have to work together to get out of a problem. This is an actual escape room?

No, no, no. This is a real-life escape room. This is the same guy. We've been dating for a while now. He's very cute. And what we wanted to do was that tinned fish date night. I think I spoke about it on the podcast. I think I've done one before.

It's a TikTok trend where you get different tinned fish and you just eat them with bread and butter and cheese. It's very European. That doesn't ring any bell. And that sounds disgusting, quite frankly. Do you want to see a photo of my tinned fish? Yeah, we'll put it on the IJM socials. What's with you and fucking weird food?

You were telling us about like- I'm Dutch. What was it, the bags that you were telling us about? It's literally just loaded fries. Oh, spice bags. Spice bags, yes. Have a look. Have a look.

You can swipe it. Have you seen the guy? You can swipe food. I don't know. Have a look. You can swipe it. Have you seen the guy? You can swipe through. I don't know. Have a look. Come on. Describe what you're seeing. There's canned mussels in pesto sauce.

It's a fucking platter. Don't sugarcoat it. No, but what? They're all tin cans of food. I see. Yeah. See, I was picturing tuna on bread. Yuck.

Well, there's sardines there and there's anchovies on bread. Okay, slightly more appetizing than I was picturing. Well, see, he's Polish, Portuguese, and I am Dutch, very white. So I love a canned salty food. So it was our dream situation. But I thought I'll surprise him and we'll drive out to the Royal National Park near where we live. Right. Near Bundina.

Over the cliffs. No phone service. We get there at like seven. So we have the perfect sunset. And it's gorgeous. That sounds cute. Yeah. We drive in.

We park in this big parking lot that is inside the Royal National Park. And when we get there, it's daytime. No other cars are there. We park in right at the front, right near the boom gate. Perfect. We walk to the cliffs. We have our date. Date's great.

We have the tin fish. And it gets to like 9.30 at night. Yeah. And it's pitch black. Yeah. And you kind of lose track of time because there's no city lights. There's no streets. They don't have street lights in national parks, I'd imagine. None. No. It's dead quiet. There's no other people black. Yeah. And you kind of lose track of time because there's no city lights. There's no streets. They don't have street lights in national parks, I'd imagine.

None. No. It's dead quiet. There's no other people around. Shit. It's late. Like, we've got to go. So we get up.

We pack up our stuff. It's like five past ten. We're walking back to the car. It's a ten minute walk. Full of fish. Like, holding hands. Like, you know, it's been a cute day. Nice.

We get to the car park. They've locked it up. Oh, dear. It's a locked up car park. I see. Yeah. There would have been a sign telling you when the car park closes, but no doubt you didn't fucking read that.

It was 10 o'clock. Classic. 10 o'clock. In fact, it was so comical. We could see. Oh, wait. So did they close early? Because you said it was 9.

9.50 by the time we decided to leave. We got back at five past 10. I shit you not. Fuck. We could see the Sutherland Shire Council, a little Toyota Jimny driving off into the sunset up the hill. Like, it had just locked the gate. Well, in your bloody hot girl walker, why didn't you sprint up to him and be like, come

back! Not that fit. I was full of mercury-riddled fish. I couldn't have run. Like, it was so recent that the lock on the gate, I shit you not, was swinging. Like, he just locked it! So I went, you know me, I'm so naive. I'm like, oh, we'll get out of this.

Maybe I've got main character syndrome. I'm like, this will be fine. It's not going to be a problem, you know? Well, how far away do you live? Like, worst case scenario, you leave your car there overnight. It's not like you're in jail. You can jump over the gate. You just come back and get your car the next day.

It was dad's car, my dad's car, because dad's got a nice BMW. And I kind of wanted to be like. Does the date think that's your car? No, he doesn't. I'm not that dumb. No, I'm not that dumb. No, no. And we were stuck in there and I thought, no worries.

There's a number on the sign that says call to get gate unlocked at any time. Oh, well, then you're fucking sweet. So I said, get my phone out. No service. SOS only. And I go, hey, you know, date. You get your phone out. Are you with Optus?

Yeah. Bad week. Bad week for us get your phone out Are you with Optus Yeah Bad week Bad week for us Not a good time to be Optus He gets his phone out Also with Optus No service So we go for a little walk Around the car park

To find service Pitch black No street lights Torches on Okay No service anywhere Then a man appears Our saviour

Out of nowhere He's walking his Labrador And he goes Boys you're locked in are you I could see you from my balcony. I thought, oh, what a sweetheart. He goes, this happens. What a creep. Two little fucking poofs.

He's like, are you lost? I'm like, no, he's just 21. It does look weird, but I'm not. There's nothing wrong here. And he goes, this happens all the time. I see it from my balcony. The lady at the end of the street in a Federation-style house has the only key to unlock that gate. She got one cut.

Oh, my God. So go get it from her. And we went, thank you so much. Which house? He goes, it's a Federation-style house. I wouldn't know what that means. Oh, he disappears into the shrubbery. And I go, what the fuck?

So the date I'm with is like, I kind of love this. This is like a Scooby-Doo mystery. We have to solve it together. Yeah, see, you could look at it that way. But then also I'd be there like, what if I to piss what do i do no no we're pissing the bush we'd be fine i suppose but i'm not barbaric like you so i i we walk up this up these stairs and we're looking at houses what the fuck is a federation style house to you i googled federation style house and it's just giving pack to the rafters energy yeah is that what that means

yeah mitchell and we're in the royal National Park. Every fucking house is a Federation-style house. Jesus Christ. So we have to roll the dice. We walk up a set of stairs for about five minutes, huffing and puffing. There's a Federation-style house on the left. There's one on the right. But we go, this is at the end of the stairs, at the end of the street. We'll just fucking ring the doorbell.

10.30 at night? On a Sunday night? And did he imply that it was an old lady, or did I imagine that? He said lady. Ah. Problem is, it was a ring doorbell. So did he imply that it was an old lady or did I imagine that? He said lady. Ah. Problem is it was a ring doorbell. So we walk up to it. He goes, you do it.

I go, no, you do it. He goes, no, you do it. What do you mean by a ring doorbell? Like an electronic smart doorbell. The one with the camera. Correct. So I press it. 10.30 at night.

Bong, bong, bong. Bong, bong, bong. Floodlights turn on. Flashes in the eyes. Oh, God. You know, like blares in the eyes. We, God. You know, like, blare us in the eyes. We look at the camera and it goes, leave a message. So I go, fuck.

So I go, hi, my name's Mitch. This is XYZ. We got our car locked in the parking lot. We were told you had a key. And as I'm saying this, like, I can see the footage on her phone. It's unhinged, black and white, gay, sweaty man covered in fish oil, leaning in with black nothing behind him. My pupils are dilated because I was so stressed from walking up the stairs.

And I go, please, we hear you have a key. Can you give us the key? Then it cuts off. The lights turn off. So I'm like, this poor woman is inside. Did you ever get to speak to her? Well, we then check our phones. We have phone service.

Oh, fuck, you're fine. So I go, you call the council. By her? Well, we then check our phones. We have phone service. Oh, fuck, you're fine. So I go, you call the council. By the way, before we move on. Oh, God, can we look up her address and the white pages? Try and find her number. Like, I want to ask this woman. I'll pay her to send me that fucking footage of you on the

doorbell, because that sounds so funny. Oh, my God. Imagine. Well, that was my worry that it would be released, because while we're on hold. You're not that famous was my worry that it would be released because while we're on hold. You're not that famous, mate. No, no, no. While we're on hold to Sutherland Shire Council, I shit you not, screen door opens. Oh, so she was home. Boys, come over here.

And we go, oh, the woman at the end of the street in the Federation style house with the key. She found us. So we run up to the fence because we're at the end of the cul-de-sac trying to get phone service. We put our head over the fence. She goes, come into the light. I want to see your faces.

And we go, she just wants to ID check to make sure we're not crims. We put our faces over. Chicking. Takes a photo on her phone. What? And she goes, how fucking dare you? Wake up my family. Get the fuck.

It was terrifying. Get the fuck off my property. I've got children in there. You've terrified them. So this was the woman that you left the message to? Yeah. And she wasn't that old? Nope. About 45. In a dressing gown. One hand she's got an iPhone. The other hand she's got a baseball bat.

And she took a photo of you? She's got a baseball bat. And I go, I'm so sorry. She goes, I'm so sorry. Shut the fuck up. I go, oh. She goes, you patronising piece of shit. I'm so sorry she goes I'm so sorry shut the fuck up I go oh she goes you patronizing piece of shit I'm calling the police and we ran like we ran it was terrifying wow what a grunk that's exactly what I thought don't be getting keys cut if you don't want to be the go-to person with the key well my my thinking is that perhaps she wasn't the right federation style house oh so she never clarified I've got the key you can forget it no like she wasn't dangling it in front

of her she had a dressing gown on from, you know. Oh, so you easily could have gotten the wrong house. I think we did. All right, well, we won't be asking her for the video because she sounds like an awful bitch. And I don't want her knowing us or who we are. I just don't. Anyway, on the phone to the council,

as we ran back down the stairs, phone cut out, no service. What is with this shithole you live in? It was chaos. It was chaos. So what we end up doing is we go back to the car. We walk up the hill. We get phone service. We lodge a ticket with the After Hours Council.

It's probably about 11.30. Yeah, I don't imagine many people are manning that desk at 11.30. There's one girl. Oh, there is someone. There is someone for emergencies only, yeah. So it's about 11.30 at night. I've got to get up for work at 7. And we finally get hold of them.

They go, no worries. We'll contact the security company that closes all the gates. However, it's one guy that does all the gates in the Royal National Park. There are 76 park gates. So he's currently walking around closing them. Once he's done, he will come back and open the gate. Oh. So we didn't go far.

But we had to wait while he went to every other National Park gate in the area, lock it all up first, because we're not his top priority. He's got to lock all these gates. He's doing a job. And then when he's done, he'll come back and open our gate. Why do they even lock the gates? Why is that the priority? I don't know.

It makes no sense. I don't fucking get it. It makes no sense. So anyway, we sat there face to face for three hours. He arrived at quarter past one. Oh my God. Why didn't you just Uber home? Well, because it was Dad's car.

Dad needed the car. His 21-year-old parents were like, where are you? Have you been killed? Have you been kidnapped? He had no phone service. What time did they open the gates? 7 a.m. Well, then you could have just gotten your father's car at 7.

Uber back first thing. It was one of those things that was like, we'd come this far. We'd been held abuse. It was stressful. A gobby in the bush doesn't go astray either. Well, that's the thing. Normally, when you're in that situation, it's kind of like, oh, sexy. I had no sex drive.

I was so anxious. I couldn't even have any fun in the car. Oh, well, then that's not fun. You were saying it's like an adventure. It's like a real life escape room. It was so fun. But I would have called it quits much earlier. Probably after the bogan scabby bitch with a camera in my face, I would have been like,

let's call it a night, actually. I was so upset. I was so shaken. But you know when you can't voice it until you're safe and out? We sped up that street once the gates were opened at 1.30, 1.15, and then they'd all hit us like, that fucking bitch, we want to egg her house! But we didn't have the gall to talk about it. I'm happy to help with the egging.

I can get her identity and I can send it out, but she was awful. Identity? Yeah. How do you have that? I could get it. Oh. I've got contacts. Should we prank call or just dot?

No. If we're going to bring back the prank calls for anyone, it's going to be this bitch. Yeah. Question. Yes, any questions? Could you find her address on a map? Because you know where you went. I could do it right now.

I could do it right. Do you want me to get it up right now? Yes, I won't say it. Okay. But if I check the white pages with that address, it could come up with the number. Oh my God, you're a genius. Okay, let's do it. Can you see that on the screen? with that address. It could come up with the number. Oh, my God, you're a genius. Okay, let's do it. Can you see that on the screen?

Yes. Okay. And then you can call us Dot and just be like, do you have the key for the National Park? What can Dot have left in there? Hmm. Her dentures fell out. Yeah, her dentures fell out in the Royal National Park.

You have to sound toothless the whole time. Wait, does the yellow pages still work? Yeah, they don't have to sound toothless the whole time. Wait, does the Yellow Pages still work? Yeah, they don't have physical phone books unless you request one. You know how they used to send them out to literally everyone? Yeah. But they've still got a website. So here we were, Mitchell. Ready?

Like in this Royal National Park here. Right. I need to work it out. So we ran up here. See, they're the stairs that I was talking about. I see. He said that's the end of the car park. He went, walk up the stairs and it's the first house here.

That's it there. Let me get the little yellow. No, it's the end of the car park. He went, walk up the stairs and it's the first house here. That's it there. Let me get the little yellow. No, it's the first Federation style house. Correct. That's where you're wrong. Here we go. Oh, I've got genuine PTSD, Mitchell. That is the ring doorbell right there.

Is it? Look, that's where I stood. That's actually the doorbell. Oh my God. Oh my God, it scares me. Imagine that at 1030 at night, middle of nowhere, no phone service. That's the alley we walked up. See those stairs? Yeah. That's where we walked up. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It scares me. Imagine that at 10.30 at night, middle of nowhere, no phone service. That's the alley we walked up. See those stairs?

Yeah. That's where we walked up. Oh, I see. We walked over and she gave it to me via the doorbell. So that's the number. So she was leaning over that fence. When she came out, yeah. Wow.

So that number, that street. It's not really- I've got it. It's that street. Can you see that? Yeah, yeah. I've got it. I've got it. Can's that streak. You've seen that? Yeah, yeah, I've got it. Can you search by address on fucking white pages?

Hang on. They might not have a home phone. No, it makes you fucking search by surname and initial on the white pages. I can't just search the address. Fuck. Well, I have PTSD, quite simply looking at that. Oh, fuck me. Here we go.

What? That address is actually registered as a business. Oh, no. What business? I'm not going to say. Oh, can you bleep it out? Fuck. And they've got a mobile number attached to it.

What do I call and say? That's up to you. Oh, all of a sudden, every reason that we quit doing prank calls is coming rushing back. Maybe we shouldn't. We have cancelled prank calls on this show. Can I just say, it was myself, a gay man with another gay man lost in the middle of the night. Who was the other gay man? Oh, the guy I was on a date with.

Oh, I thought you said myself, comma, a gay man. Oh. And another gay man. I was like, three? Oh, no. We're not shaking things up, are we? No. Phenogamy is very old fashioned. I'm a gay man i was like three oh no shaking things up are we no but not gonna be very old-fashioned i'm i'm a gay man um no no no and and like we went i was so sweet on this message

and we needed help we were trapped and she was instantly on the defensive on the back foot and it was she was so rude like she was really really rude to us um and i said i'm so sorry for waking you etc etc i don't think i want to add fuel to the fire unless i just call her cough and hang up Really, really rude to us. And I said, I'm so sorry for waking you, et cetera, et cetera. I don't think I want to add fuel to the fire. Unless I just call her cough and hang up. Like that I'm happy with. What's the number? And we're calling off the Kiss FM line, so.

Don't put it on hold, she'll hear Kiss. Shit, you're right. Hello? Hello? That was a rush. Chokey. Wow. It serves her right. I got her good.

She sounded like she was 12. Maybe that was the door to answer. You know when you answered your phone growing up as a kid? Hello, Michelle speaking. I'd always say, hello, Mitchell speaking. Oh, same. Mom, it's Aunty Julie. Now when I go home, I refuse to answer the home phone. I don always say, hello, Mitchell speaking. Or same. Mum, it's Aunty Julie. Now when I go home, I refuse to answer the home phone. I don't give a fuck who it is.

Mitchell, I've got adrenaline run. I have PTSD. I need to get that fucking photo of her house off my screen. She sounds like she's obsessive enough that she might track where that phone call came from and then absolutely escalate it, take it to the cops or whatever. Perhaps. Perhaps. Do you reckon she would have actually escalated that?

100%. 100%. Because think about it from her perspective. 10.30 at night, this six foot three man with a terrible moustache. Have you seen those ring camera footage videos that have gone viral on TikTok? They're not flattering. No. It's a fisheye lens.

It's black and white. The LED light shines in your eyes. You always look like an alien. And I was leaning in. It would have been terrifying for her. So did you ever find the correct house where the woman does have the key? No. And me and my date were theorising that the guy from the balcony was just fucking with us. He could have been. But why would he do that? Because the way he said it sounded like he was in a Scooby-Doo

film. He was like, boys, I've seen this before. Puffs on a fucking pipe. Then he goes, you must find the woman with the key in the Federation house above the stairs on the right. It sounded like a riddle. It was annoying. I wouldn't have bothered with that. In answer to your question, does that sound like my nightmare or my dream?

Nightmare. I wouldn't have persisted that far. If I couldn't get a hold of the council to come unlock it, I wouldn't have been going knocking on random bitches' doors. I would have just been like, I'll get the persisted that far. If I couldn't get a hold of the council to come unlock it, I wouldn't have been going knocking on random bitches' doors. I would have just been like, I'll get the car in the morning. No, no. See, I'm solution orientated. And then we-

So am I, usually. And I think that what I said is a solution. Go home and pick it up in the morning. Fair, fair. But you know what it did force us to do? Sit in the car with some music on and just like chat. It was nice. Is that all?

Yeah. So I was in my dad's car. I've got nothing but respect for Mark Chury. Oh, of course. Yes. Does he listen? He doesn't know how. He listens in my dad's car. I've got nothing but respect for Mark Chury. Oh, of course, yes. Does he listen? He doesn't know how. He listens to when he's on. Okay, so I won't tell him if you tell me what actually happened in the car.

We didn't do anything in the car. Mitchell, I'm six foot three. I drive a Hyundai i30. Get in the back! Of my car? No. Fold the seats down and get in the boot. No, I struggle in a bed, Mitchell. Let alone a hatchback. No. Anyway, alright everyone, let's go. down and get in the boot. No, I struggle in a bed, Mitchell, let alone a hatchback. No.

Anyway, all right, everyone, let's go. Let's get out of here. Sure. Oh, what a week. Maybe by Wednesday we'll have calmed down and we'll be less, you know, stressed. We'll see. We'll see. Fingers crossed.

Did we even acknowledge that Jenna's not here? Jenna's not here? Imagine if right now she went, hi. Like she was here the whole time. Oh, she's done that before. She has. Just wandered in. Then we get in trouble.

They go, let Jenna speak. I go, guys, sometimes she's just disassociated. Have people said let Jenna speak? I wanted her to have her own fucking agenda. Remember? We had to do a vote two weeks ago. Anyway, we'll see you guys soon. Hey, I've noticed an influx of reviews.

Very nice. Five star reviews. Yeah, I have. I was reading. When I had COVID, I was looking through them. Oh, because you weren't getting any DMs about your hot girl walk, so you were looking at our podcast reviews for your dopamine hit. I get it.

I get it. I'm so trans. I read you like a fucking book. Stop. Oh, my God. I forgot to mention, coming up on our Wednesday episode, another Real Housewives of Sydney mispronunciation of sorts. Oh, wow.

Good. Remember how last week I observed that when they say the word cook, they make it the shortest syllable ever? They remove the O's. Yeah. It's just like cook, cook, C apostrophe K. Interesting. It's gotten worse.

So she's not off the hook? No, she's not off the hook. There's another one. Brilliant. I'll save that for Wednesday, though. Yeah, please do. All right. We'll see you then, guys.

Five star review. Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Mugvember. Go buy a mug. Last chance. Almost. Yes. See you on. Go buy a mug. Last chance, almost. Yes. See you on Wednesday. Catch you soon. Love you, idiots. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment on the end. The show is not done. We keep talking shit here. Nothing's planned. You sound like a flight attendant there. The show is not done.

Remain in your seats. The show is not done. I tried to flirt with a flight attendant on a recent trip. Yeah. Did not go down well. Why not? Just like wasn't in the mood. He was clearly gay and I clearly am.

And I was in the aisle row in the exit seat. So he was giving me like the demonstration on the exit row. And he was doing the rigmarole of like, this is how you inflate the jacket and then the seatbelt, whatever. And he was like right next to me. And he looked at me and like kind of like that with that gay knowing smile, like high poof. I was like, high poof. And he like rolled his eyes.

He's like, I don't want to be doing this. And I'm like, I don't blame you. I'm like, kill me. And he's like, oh, kill me too. And I'm like, how have you been doing this? Like, I've got to do the demonstration. Like, shut up. Like, he didn't want to. Oh, so he's like, we've had our moments. Yes. Move on. Yes, I've got to do the demonstration. Like, shut up. Like, he didn't want any.

Oh. So he was like, we've had our moments. Yes. Move on. Yes, I was like trying to be cute. And he's like, shut the fuck up. I'm like, oh, sorry. Do you reckon if push came to shove and you're in the emergency row

where you may be required to assist in the event of an evacuation. Yeah. Is there any penalty for not actually assisting? Yes. If I was in that row and we were actually in an emergency, I'd be like, fucking, you're on your own. I don't want to be trusted with this. Nah.

My fight or flight would kick in and I would fight. But would you get in trouble for not assisting? Yeah. Yes, you would. I think there'd be penalties. Like a fine? Yeah. Well, you'd be dead.

Well, no, but I'd just look at someone else in the exit row and go, fucking, you're on it. Totally. I don't want to do this. Well, I remember I was on a – I can't remember where I was going, but there was an old couple and they'd booked the exit row, right, for the leg room. And I was coming back from Fiji and I sat on the aisle and they came up, the flight attendant came up and went, sorry guys, this is very awkward.

We understand that you've paid, but we are going to have to remove you from these seats. Oh, that's right. Because they were like, you'd be hopeless. Yeah. I remember you telling me that. They're like, we just don't trust that you'd be able to help. You'd be able to lift the window open. And they kicked up a stink.

They're like, we paid. I would too. I'd be like, guys, we're operating on the assumption that there won't be an emergency. Thank you. Let's just fucking let a city. If there is one, then we'll let someone else step up. And that was so sweet. The woman was reading The Alchemist and the husband had his headphones and his Kindle.

And I'm like, I'll do the heavy lifting. Let them stay. But then we did hit Rocky Turbulence. I'm like, thank fuck they got rid of the oldies. So they actually got rid of them in the end. Yeah, they had to move. And they're like, we demand a refund. And it was a whole thing.

That's awful. I would demand the refund too. Yeah, but then I got the full row. So I just got to like lie down. It was amazing. Worked out well for me. That would be lovely, actually. Oh, God, yeah.

Nothing like a full. I remember once I flew back from LA and had a middle row of four free and I had a full bed. Oh wow. Yeah. Can I just say, by the way, I just had a quick glance, you know that video, the video of Oscar rug sniffing that's on our Instagram. It's so well done. I just had a quick glance at that and the comment is like, I'm sorry, incest?

Yeah. And someone posted in our group too, because instead comment is like, I'm sorry, incest? Yeah. And someone posted in our group too because instead of saying incense, I said, oh, they're burning beautiful incest in here. Yes. And it's just like, that's got to be the 10th time I've pulled this gag where I just confidently say incest just for the reaction. People fall for it every time. Mitch, it still does confuse me to be perfectly honest with you. I thought you were going along with it.

I am. You never correct me. I am. You never correct me. I am. No, I am. I get it. But I also am just so aware that other people won't. But it's funny. That's what I find funny about it.

Just like all the people going, sorry, did you just say incest? I'm like, yes. Yes, I did. I just never acknowledge it. I do it all the time. Someone just commented, incest? It's like, yes, incest. I saw it in the Facebook group too.

People are like, is this an inside joke I'm not aware of? Clearly, it's that inside that you're not even cottoned on. I do it often. I say incest instead of incense and just we brush it under the carpet. Is it all to do with that meme of the woman? Yes. It's like a Snapchat. It's a photo of incense, but the Snapchat text is incest or new incest.

I love the smell of incest. Yeah. It's reference to that. I thought it's very fucking niche. Got it. If you know, you know. No, exactly. IYK, I incest. Yeah. Yeah. It's reference to that. I thought it's very fucking niche. Got it. If you know, you know. No, exactly. IYK, IYK.

Yeah. I've just had like an urge come over me. I've searched doorbell camera footage to men. And like there's so many police posts about it. Like I'm so scared it's going to show up, Mitch. Like I genuinely am paranoid that it's going to appear or I'm going to be tagged in it. But you didn't do anything illegal. No, I know.

If anything, it'd be in like I don't know, the Cronulla community Facebook group. Are you in that? Yep. I've got to say, there is one particular roving report that I want roving reporter Oscar to do and it relates to a very big

drama in my community Facebook group where I live. What's happening? I'm not telling you. I'm waiting until next time we record the show from my lounge room so I can just get him to duck downstairs. We'll be at the scene of the crime. But oh my God, it has been the most gripping saga in my local community Facebook group. It is fucking wild. Wait, you'll tell us at one point?

Of course, when I get Oscar to do the report. Yeah. Yeah, lovely. Yeah. Yeah, see, the Sutherland Shire is a lovely place, but it's wild. Like, it's white people with old money, with nothing but privilege and time to complain about fucking things. Even like on the gay scene, I've deleted Grindr, but when I was on Grindr, four people. Four people that I was in my realm of someone that I would go on a date with.

You know how I told you that I've got that blank Grindr profile? Yeah. That I never use and I never actually message people on there. I just sometimes out of curiosity. I actually didn't do it over the weekend. But for example, I might have gone to Adelaide and been like, I wonder what sort of people are on Grindr in Adelaide. I want to see who the closest person is. Is there someone three metres away? Right.

You want to double up? Yeah. Sometimes I just might have a look. I didn't over the weekend, but I did when I was in Bogengate. And fuck me, they must be so desperate for men out there because it's a blank profile. No information. And I got like 12, hi! Just they saw a fresh profile they've never spoken to before. That's actually really sad. I know. I was like, wow, they really just hit on a blank profile. No one usually fucks

with a blank profile in the city. They're like, face pic or no talk, you know? Oh my God, your grinderr came up for me. How did you know it was mine? No, because a screenshot of it, because I got a new phone and all my apps, well, that fucked up.

So I searched Grindr and it came up with your face. I can find it right now. Really? Yeah. Show me. You were 24. When was this? Oh,

look. Yeah, that was a cute photo. 24. 74 kilos. What are you now? Yeah, that was a cute photo. 24. 74 kilos. What are you now? Huh? What are you now?

You'd be less than that now, wouldn't you? Yeah, I'm not saying me weight. Oh, sorry. Sorry. It's a new, we're in a new era. Yeah, yeah, yeah. More importantly, can I show you, speaking of Facebook groups, I just had a quick look. There's a, in my hometown, there's a parks forbes thumbs up thumbs down group what does that

mean well if they're praising someone they'll say thumbs up to the lady at coles who helped me carry my bags to my car what a great woman but if they're bitching they'll say thumbs down to forbes car lovers blah blah blah worst car wash ever Thumbs up to Steel Technology today for helping with an email scam. There you go. I'm trying to find some juicy shit. Keep going. I'm going to go to Cronulla's community group and see what they're bitching about today. Yeah, see if you're in there.

Thumbs up to Terry Brothers Carpet Court Forbes for a great job. You did a wonderful job on my floor. That's nice. What? What's the point? Oh, here we go. What's the point? A big thumbs down to KFC Forbes. That's nice. What? What's the point? Oh, here we go. What's the point? A big thumbs down to KFC Forbes.

Oh, yeah. I didn't even know there was a KFC in Forbes. What's happening? Went there. This is going to be hard to read. There's no punctuation, no grammar. All right. Big thumbs down to KFC Forbes.

Went there this evening to get dinner. Left there without dinner. The young guy who served me well, his attitude was disgusting towards the customer. When I asked him what the difference in a meal was, I got told it is what it is and that's it. What? Learn to type. Thumbs down to that. And then he's put seven commas.

To be honest, it's lucky that KFC is a big food chain because if it is one store, it would be closed because of the staff that they employ. Okay, that wasn't that juicy. That was a lot of brain power for me to decipher that. It wasn't even that good. Not fucking worth it, Mitchell. Thumbs up to Domino's for fast delivery. Awesome pizza. Thanks.

What about this? Everything Sutherland Shire. This is all in caps, so I'm not yelling. This is how I'm reading it in my head. Join us for a journey of learning, laughs, new social connections and potential dates. Like what a mix of things. What was the event? Sorry.

Join us for a journey of learning, laughs, new social connections and potential new dates. At what? At Sutherland Shire, Uniting Church, you're dancing, you're laughing, learning and then it's also a singles night. A potential date at the church. Wow. Yeah. Oh my God. I found a juicy one. A potential date at the church. Wow. Yeah. Oh my God.

I found a juicy one. Ready? Go, go, go. Thumbs down to all the low life scum that stopped and got out of their car and watched the fire on Darubalgee Road also blocking the fire trucks from coming in. It's one thing to drive past, but to stop and block the fire trucks, fucking low lives. Wow. The drama.

I know. God, I love Facebook group drama. Oh, God, this is dramatic. What happened to Coles at Caring Bar? That's just, that's it. That's the question. Is it not there? No, it's there.

Oh, it was there on two nights ago. Nothing. Nothing happened. What's happened? God, that's funny. Maybe I should start using my fake account, Bernice Marie King. I'll start using my trial Facebook account, just putting in my community group, shit-serving.

Just being like, oh, my God, Marrickville Metro had a roof collapse. That's so dramatic too. Oh, community. What will we do with that? I'm trying to find a good one, but like a short one. Thumbs down to old mate who saw me pick up a lost wallet on Kalari Road this morning, then pulled over to claim it knowing full fucking well it wasn't his. Wow.

Nice try though. The drama. Is there a thumbs up, thumbs down group where you are? Apparently they're quite common. Oh, are they? So what would I search? I don't know. The Shire thumbs up, thumbs down.

Thumbs up to Tiff at Commonwealth Bank. Goes above and beyond for her customers. Bloody great service. I've just searched thumbs up, thumbs down. Thumbs up to Tiff at Commonwealth Bank. Goes above and beyond for her customers. Bloody great service. I've just searched thumbs up, thumbs down. Wagga Wagga, thumbs up, thumbs down. Thumbs down to Gail Anderson for blocking me. Wow. How many people have you blocked, you cow?

It's embarrassing. You are using people. No wonder you're banned from most sites. Stop drinking and gambling all your money away and learn to buy food for your family. I'm not joking. Maybe it's a regional thing. Because if that's Wagga and there isn't one for your suburb. No, there's nothing. It's a small town thing. I mean, someone's got to be the one to start it. I'm not fucking starting it. Oh, I'm looking at all these thumbs up, thumbs down posts. Some of them are so long, I can't be fucked reading them.

And they all have no punctuation. Like, it's actually really hard. Yeah, I hate fucking people. It's killing me. It's too much. All right, shall we go, Mitchell? Thumbs up to dude at KFC in the wicked bucket hat with drumsticks all over it. Friendly, happy, cheerful, polite young bloke. Best service I've received at a fast food venue around here for years. Oh, that's nice. You know what, Mitchell?

Before we go, I think you and I should do a thumbs up or a thumbs down for something that happened in our life. Let me think. What am I going to do? Thumbs down to McDonald's Tarrant Point for consistently giving me full strength Coke instead of my Coke No Sugar. They always do it and I can taste it. You wouldn't be able to tell famously.

No, you're right. You'd be able to pull the wool over my eyes very easily with that shit. How can you tell? There's like 300 calories in a Coke and there's none in a Coke No famously. No, you're right. You'd be able to pull the wool over my eyes very easily with that shit. How can you tell? Bitch, there's like 300 calories in a Coke and there's none in a Coke No Sugar. I don't want that. And it throws my blood sugar out. I get all dizzy. God, the calorie count is doing my head in.

It's still Coke. I'm not counting it. I just, I'd rather have a chocolate Freddo. Fair enough. Let me. My little pleasures. Do you remember when we were at your place? I don't think this was even part of the podcast.

This was an all fair conversation. What have I done? And I was telling you about the smoothie I made. It had like kiwi fruit, half an apple, avocado, blah, blah, blah. And you were like, oh my God, that's so excessive. There'd be so many calories in that. Pepsi Max is only two calories. I was like, if this is where we're at as a society,

that Pepsi Max is considered more healthy than literal fucking fruit, then I'm out. Fuck that. No, but calorie, like, I don't count my calories. Oh, who could be bothered? No, exactly. I think it's unhealthy as well. But I think the best thing that I've ever done is I've equipped myself

with understanding calories and nutrients and what's in things. Because it's good to know what things do, what carbohydrates do versus fats versus protein. Yeah, I'm with you. But I don't count because I think that can be very unhealthy. Anyway, thumbs down to calorie counting. Do you have a thumbs up? Thumbs down? Thumbs up to the hotel worker at Citadine's in Perth.

Oh. Who I never got to meet. But when I arrived to check in in Perth, the lady behind the counter said, one of my colleagues is a fan of yours, so they upgraded your room. I got the room with the gorgeous fucking spa bath. That's very sweet. And they had a bottle of champagne in the fridge for me. Oh, gorgeous.

Just because they liked me. And I was like, ah, thumbs up to you, dog. Don't even know their name, but hope they're listening. As you walked away, did they go, we love you, Kitty Flanagan. We're such a fan of the Cheap Seats Melody Bracewell. You're like, well, keep walking. You're looking great for your age, Judith Lucy. Imagine if that happened to me when I was on tour and then as I walked away, they're

like, God, I can't believe I just met Hannah Gadsby. I'm like, I'm not Hannah, but I'll take the free champers. I don't have any thumbs downs that spring to mind. Isn't that a good thing? I've got a thumbs up. Yes. Another one. Yeah.

To the hotel worker at the, where do I stay? Oaks in Brisbane. The what? The Oaks. Okay. When I was staying in Brisbane, I left my Le Labo perfume, which is like, it's expensive. It was a gift. It was a gift.

It's like $400 for a bottle of perfume. Tiny. Yeah. I left it in the hotel room. And I got back and I was going to get on a date. And I'm like, my wrists won't smell of dumb, expensive, wasted perfume. And it just throws you a bit. It's like me with the clear nail polish.

Yes. I just felt like I needed it or I couldn't, you know. Seize the day. Seize the day, yeah. Yes, I agree. So I called them and I said, hi, Oaks. Did I leave it there? She went, let me check.

Put me on hold. Came back. She's such a sweetheart. She went, Mitch, it's with great pleasure for you. Really, really, really bad for us. We have your perfume. Why is that bad? We were all really hoping you wouldn't call because we really love the smell of it.

Oh, that's so funny. And I was like, bless you. She went, I will say we did have a little spritz. It's gorgeous. We'll send it home to you. You're like, you owe me a spritz, bitch. Seriously, that's so funny. And I was like, bless you. She went, I will say we did have a little spritz. It's gorgeous. We'll send it home to you. You're like, you owe me a spritz, bitch. Seriously, that's $2 a spritz. No, thumbs up to Margaret, whatever her name was.

No, she was like 21. Zoe. God love her. Anyway. All right, shall we go? Yeah, we better. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today. That's all, just 2%.

So we do. So we fucking do. Thumbs down to Jenna. Who the fuck is she? Bitch. Bitch, I agree. All right, we'll catch you on Wednesday, idiots. Love ya.

See ya. Bye, bubs. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.