Is It Just Me? - #176: C'k B'k

Episode Date: November 28, 2023

LAST CHANCE to order your 'Teal Era' mug before the end of Mug-Vember! Order here: coupleofmitches.myshopify.com   In this episode: Churi needs advice about solo travel (03:25) Foot traffic fuckheads (10:30) Coombs’ embarrassing moments on tour (14:18) ANOTHER mispronunciation (kinda?) from Real Housewives of Sydney (28:47) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief, including our unboxing of Canadian Toques! (38:56)   Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitches Send us a text: 0422 948 202See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you! Hello you! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Is this an intervention? No, it's not an intervention. Well, a team meeting.

That's not an intervention. No one's in trouble. Jenna and I just have a group chat without you in it and we were very scared. So you have a direct message? I'm not jealous of that. Now, here's Mitch Turey and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, you. Hello, you. Oh, how are you, Mitchell?

Yeah, not too bad. Soldiering on. I'm going to say that lame thing that everyone says in a small talk situation. No, I'm ready for the year to be over. Oh, fuck. You and I had the most middle-aged conversation we've ever had with each other today. We both looked at each other, saw each other's eye bags, and we're like, fuck, I can't wait for the year to be wrapped.

Oh, no, that fat fuck Santa better get a wriggle on, I tell you. I'm ready. Totally. For the year to be over. Oh, is it just me on the fly? Has Santa lost his impact? What do you mean? He doesn't have as much impact as he once had.

What do you mean? Well, it's because you're not a child. You're not as excited about the thought of an intruder. I'd love a man to climb into my house in the middle of the night and, you know. You're like, hey, I'll squeeze through your chimney too. Totally. I'm like, I'll load your sack on me. Anytime.

Wrap me up. No, but I just, I feel like he's lost his clout. Like we used to talk about Mr. And Mrs. Claws with a Mr. And Mrs. Smith of my generation. A Mr.

And Mrs. Is that their name? You were Mr. And Mrs. Smith of my generation. Or Mr. and Mrs. Is that their name? You were Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Like, they were hot and sexy. Everyone wanted to be them. Who the fuck wanted to be Mr. and Mrs. Claus because they were hot and sexy? No, because they were the it couple.

Like, he was traveling the world while she was at home with the elves. Like, God, they work well together. Codependency. Monogamy 101. Yeah, right. Did you know I actually thought of you a few months ago because there was some article in the news about the fact that shopping centres are having a Santa shortage. Yeah, I can't wait to hear how this reminded you of me.

Well, because I was like, you'd do a great job if you'd have slapped a grey wig on. Like, you don't have the age, but you can act as Santa quite easily. There you go. Hello, kids don't have the age, but you can act as Santa quite easily. There you go. Hello, kids. Take a seat on my lap. I'm really good. See, that's why I thought of you. It's only a one-day course.

They just train you to be Santa, and they pay you extra if you've got your own grey hair and don't require a wig, or if you've maintained a white beard. That's me. So you wouldn't get paid as much as some of the top-tier Santas. But honestly, I don't think they're fussy, I've seen some fucking bastard looking Santas in recent years. Oh, 100%. I remember one Santa one year at Westfield, Miranda had no front teeth. He goes, what do you want for Christmas?

I go, take my gift. Get yourself some fucking dentures, Santy. I remember during COVID when it probably wasn't COVID safe to get a photo with kids on Santa's lap. Yes. What did they do? safe to get a photo with kids on Santa's lap. Yes. What do they do?

Ashfield Shopping Centre put this fucking hellish Santa mannequin with sunglasses on for people to get photos with. And it was the most haunting thing you've ever seen in your life. Well, you know, I've been Santa at the Sydney Children's Hospital for sick kids. See, that doesn't surprise me one bit. That's why I thought of you. You're a natural. And I was a kid. Like, I was probably 20 and I was dressed as Santa.

Well, you're going to have to cease your hot girl walks if you're going to go for a Santa gig. You need to have that jolly big belly. Oh, my God. The photo of you with Santa. Yeah. See, he told you. Should I post this online? Put that in our Facebook group.

I thought we know Will. I don't know about those children. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You can crop them out. Oh, okay. Just you with Santa. Yeah, sure, sure.

Hey, speaking of Christmas, I've officially booked my flights Christmas night, 10pm. I am flying out of Sydney and I'm going to Scotland. For Christmas? For Christmas. Well, technically for New Year because I'm flying out Christmas night. So by the time I land in Glasgow, it'll be Boxing Day. Wow, okay. I'm going to Scotland for New Year's.

That's exciting, but also, fuck me, the thought of doing that flight to the UK right now kills me. Or Europe, I should say, whatever. I've only done it. I've never been to Europe. I've been to London, but I've never been anywhere else. Okay, so you've done the London flight, so you pretty much know what you're getting yourself into. I was 12. I think it might be worse, actually, if it's much know what you're getting yourself into. I was 12.

I was going with a theater troupe. I think it might be worse, actually, if it's to Scotland. That might even be longer. I think it is. Yeah, I've got to go Sydney to Dubai, Dubai to Glasgow direct. My parents went to Scotland recently, and door to door it was like 35 hours. Fuck me. Yeah. I don't know.

I'll be all right. I'll be okay. But you want to know something truthful that I've been thinking? I think I'm anxious to solo travel. Oh, really? Yeah, I feel like I'm going, I'm meeting Brittany, my radio co-host, Brittany Hockley. Oh, so, but just the actual travel part, you'll be solo? Well, no, yes. The travel part, I'll be solo, yes. But I'm meeting Britt Boxing Day. Her boyfriend is a professional soccer player for the Celtics. And so once you're there, she'll kind of be the trip mum. She'll do all the admin. Well, I'm there for

three weeks. She's there for one week and I'm staying at her apartment with him. So I don't have to pay accommodation. We're doing the Scottish Highlands. I'm having New Year's in Edinburgh Castle with the fireworks. Shit, wow. However, New Year's Day for two weeks until the 14th, I'm travelling solo around Europe. Oh, God, this is so cliche.

This is so cliche. White girl goes through a breakup and travels to Europe to find herself. I love it. I found myself. I'm maybe losing him again. You never know. Good luck with the search, though. Keep looking.

What do I do? Where do I go? It's winter. Mitchell, it's zero degrees right now in Prague. Zero. You know me. I do kind of like cold weather. Me too.

Not if it's like New York winter cold. That was too fucking much. I think it's going to be that cold. I want to get a fur coat and walk through the street. Have you been to Amsterdam? I'm thinking Amsterdam. Real, sir? No, of course not. No, no. I would never. I was about to go full Real Housewives on you there. Oh, funny. Yeah, no, I wouldn't. Have you watched

Real Housewives of Sydney yet? Sorry to pivot. No, no, don't pivot. No, I haven't. But I want to save some things for the flight. Because I've got a month until I go, so. Is it just me on the flight? Should all apps have the option to download? Yes. Netflix, you can do it.

Binge, which is where Housewives is. I don't think you can download onto the app. It pisses me off. Stan, you can do it. Love Stan. Yep, Stan are on it. Netflix, you can. And there is another one that I didn't expect.

Apple TV Plus, you can. Yes, I did that. I watched a lot of Morning Wars. Morning Wars? Me too. I'm two hours. I was like, Morning Wars, every episode. So I'm banking up some shows to watch. Okay. But I'm so excited. I watched a lot of Morning Wars. Morning Wars? Me too. I'm two hours. I was like, Morning Wars, every episode. So I'm banking up some shows to watch. Okay.

But I'm so excited. I booked my flights. I've chosen my seats. I splurged. I'm doing premium economy. I'm going Emirates. What's premium economy? It's only two seats instead of like four, four.

Is it a three, four, four? I'm an idiot. Three, four, three. It's two, two, two. Too many numbers. Are you saying that it's only a row of two seats? Correct. Okay, cool.

God, you're a brainer. I'd love to think like you think. I was like, I'm not needing all this information. I think I have the information I need. I'm not well. It's only two seats in the row. It also has like a little bed that got like the legs. It's got like a little bed that goes up and it also reclines like essentially into a full bed.

Another is it just me on the fly? Yeah. How fucking good is a reclining chair? Oh my God. I think I need to invest because when I was home at Bougainvillea, I was sitting in dad's reclining chair and I got so much work done because A, I was so comfy and B, it's a bit of admin to get up once the laptop's on your lap once I'm fully reclined. The L on the couch, not the same as a reclining chair.

No, I agree, Mitchell. I need to get one. I agree. I want a lazy boy. Is that what they call her, a fat boy? What? Like a lazy boy couch, like a lazy boy sofa. Yeah.

That's what I want. Like a big, fat, soft sofa. An actual recliner. Yeah, yeah. Not a lazy boy in terms of a partner. I'd like someone with ambition. Yeah, this is premium economy. See, you get like a little foot bed.

That reclining foot chair thing, that doesn't go high enough. Look at that. Yeah. Oh, I'm sure. That's shit. Yeah, she's just posing for a photo, though. I reclining foot chair thing, that doesn't go high enough. Look at that. Yeah, she's just posing for a photo, though. I mean, it still looks nice. I'm sure you're going to have a lovely flight. I'll be fine. Yes, I'm very excited. But idiots, the reason I bring this up now is if anyone's done Euro solo,

please message me and make me feel better. What is there to do? Where do I go? Should I do Paris? Should I do Amsterdam? I'm Dutch. I might want to go to the Netherlands and see some like old family things like my grandma's house. I don't know. So you're actually going to have to do all that while you're there, like figure out what

bus do I get on to go to where? Oh, so you're leaving it all open, not booking anything in advance. I will book bits and bobs. Okay. Yes. That's kind of more exciting to me. It is. Yeah. What should I go do today?

Yeah. And I've allocated six days at the end for London because I've got friends in London. I want to go see Graham Norton. I want to go see some West End shows. So I'm going to have a good chunk of London at the end because I fly home from London. But yeah, I've just booked the flights. Idiots who've done that or have been to Europe in winter

or know where I should go or if you know me well and you think you need to go to this city. Anyone listening from Europe right now, maybe you could play tour guide. Oh my God, yeah. Yeah, go for it. Any gorgeous man over there in London or in Europe, message me. That's true. Yeah.

You can be my backpack. I got a message from someone recently who I'm friends with on Facebook and he told me, hey, I'm going to be coming back to Australia and I'd love to catch up with you again. And I was like, who the fuck is this man? Apparently. You hooked up with him? Yes. When?

I don't remember. And you added him on Facebook? He said that he'd been to my house. Wow. We didn't fuck, but apparently we met out and about in Newtown and he came back to my place for like kick on drinks and I made out with him, but I have no memory of that. Wow. Well, it was clearly a good make out because he wants to see you again four years later. Yeah.

And that's the first time that's ever happened to me where I've just forgotten someone that I've made out with. That's really funny. Holy fuck. That's scary. Are you going to see him? I don't know if that's appropriate. I've got a boyfriend.

Good point. No, no, but like as friends, you can be friends. I suppose. Potentially. Because I had to basically ask him, who the fuck are you? Can you refresh my memory? And I was like, oh my God. All right.

Well, listen, welcome to Is It Just Me, everyone. Every show we start with an Is It Just Me, something we've noticed, something we had to appreciate. We're handing the reins over to a listener today. We sure are. Who's kicking things off for us? Oh my God. My brain just quite literally went to throw to 1310 today. We sure are. Who's kicking things off for us? Oh, my God. My brain just quite literally went to throw to 131065.

I've done that much radio. I'm like, that one's 131065. I mean, if you want to call 31065, Guy Fritidy, it's not going to get you very far. No. We have River in Sydney. Hi, River. Hi, love.

Hello, darling. How's things? Doing well, doing well. How long have you listened to the show for? About a year or so. I discovered it off of TikTok and it's been a while, but yeah. Cute. Beautiful.

Thanks for checking it out. I'm glad you're still here a year later. Yeah. Well, Bradley will count you in. You want to hit us with your region? Definitely. Let's go. Is it just me or?

Should foot traffic always be done on the left? Like, yeah. Well, in this country, yes. I think normally, yes. But I'm one of those people that, like, zigzags through everyone because I walk ten times faster than everyone. So I've got to do a lot of overtaking, you know. Yeah, I'm the same.

But once I overtake, I always make a point to zip into the left to be like, fuck you, just so you can, because that's how you do it. You always go to the left, even after overtaking. Yeah. Don't you think, River? Absolutely. And so what throws a spinner in the works is, you guys were at Top Rides the other week. Like a shopping centre, yeah.

Yeah, the escalators at Top top rides go on the right. Oh, they go up on the right. They turn the whole system off. Oh, my God, I actually noticed that. Why do they do that? Do you know why, River? I don't, but multiple people have gotten confused, gone up the down escalator and caused holes.

It's really funny to watch. I mean, I always check which way it's going before I jump on, but I did when I was out doing the rug sniffing thing with Oscar, we tried to go up the escalator and I was like, oh, fuck, wrong one. Okay. Wait, but surely escalators, it's not based on design because they're just steps. They could just chuck it in reverse. So clearly there's a reason for it to go the other way around.

I'm going to Google it because the escalators look the same. I'm Googling it. Are they called escalators or travelators? Depends on where you are, I think. It's the same ship. I forgot how bad Top Ride Shopping Centre is. This is posted to Reddit. Why does the top four car park have no entrance?

It's a nightmare. I took the escalators up one level, only realising you have to loop the whole centre to get to the next. Wow, everyone is completely so pissed off with the shopping centre. Really? That's where they had the best rug smell. Interesting. Oh, my gosh.

I thought it was not just me. Look at this. Epic fail. Apparently not. There's a whole Reddit thread. There's a YouTube video, epic fail at Escalator's Top Ride. What? Yeah.

People are complaining about it. Do you know what I think they should also have more of? You know, like the Bay Run or something where they've got the walking track and a separate bike lane? Yeah. And then arrows for which way people should be walking on which side. I do find that helpful because if I'm walking on a regular footpath and they don't have a bike lane,

I've nearly gotten knocked the fuck out plenty of times. Oh, God, yeah. Which is on me. I don't really – what the fuck was that, River? It's been a horn. Oh, okay, yeah. They agree with the escalators, actually. Totally.

Yeah, of course. But don't get me started on bike lanes. Like, that's a whole separate. Oh, you don't like that? I'm talking about, like, if it's a footpath and bike lane, not on the road road with the cars. It's like a footpath that has a separate bike bit. Right.

No, like bike paths, I'm always about to get run over by, like, someone on their bike. Oh, now see, I'm disillusioned. I'm like, if someone hit me on a bike, I'd still sue them, even though it was in a bike lane. Bike lanes, to me, aren't part of the law, you'd still sue them, even though it was in a bike lane. Bike lanes to me aren't part of the law, you know? What? You're lucky to be in a bike lane. You're lucky we let you bike.

Drive like the rest of us. You sound so old right now. I do, and I don't mind. River, how old are you? I'm 30. You see? Well, there you go. River is old.

All right, thanks for listening, River. DM Jenna, and we'll get you a prize, okay? Thank you so much. You've been lovely. We love you. Thanks for listening. See you, River. DM Jenna and we'll get you a prize, okay? Thank you so much. You've been lovely. We love you. Thanks for listening. See you, River. What a sweetheart.

Of course, if you want to come on with an Is It Just Me of your own, you can hit us up at coupleofmitches on Instagram or send us a text on this number. A-4-2-2-9-4-8-2-0-2 A-4-2-2-9 422948202 That's right. Oh, that was the wrong one. Send us a text.

You didn't have the send us a text. No, I alternate. I alternate. That's my favourite part where he goes, send us a text, please. Well, we've got a B-side, we've got a demo version, and then we've got a release. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, different options. We've got an extended intro if I need to forward announce.

What? We've got a radio edit. Yeah, plenty of options from Oscar. Okay. Anyway, many options. That is still the number, however. Send us a text. Be featured on the show.

It's easy. So I made a bit of a cock of myself over the weekend when I had my Adelaide and Perth shows as part of my comedy tour. What did you do? Was it on stage? Was it backstage? Was it before the show?

Well, there's two examples. One of them was during a flight. One of them was on stage, actually. It's not quite like you to admit your fuck ups as well. You like to just, you know, wiggle your way out of them or never talk about them again. That's true. And I'm not like dwelling on the whole weekend as a disaster, right? It was actually really good. They were some of my best shows

I've ever done, to be honest. So it was great. It was a triumph. Looking back, success, happy. But you know how there's like socially awkward moments that you just kind of think, oh, and you dwell on them a bit. Yeah, and then you die inside when you think back to them. Yes, exactly. So there were two moments like that that happened.

Do you remember not long ago on the podcast you were telling me you went to the airport and someone thought that you were offering to pay for their lunch yes and it was a really awkward moment where you had the opportunity to be a good samaritan doing a random act of kindness yeah yeah i accidentally paid for their food and it was expensive and then i said oh please refund it because I'm not paying for their food. Yeah. And they were already thanking you going, thank you so much. That's so kind.

And you were like, fuck that. No, give me the money back, please. The person behind the counter made a fuck up. They thought it was a hidden camera prank. Ellen was about to appear and they were about to get a thousand dollars. Thanks to, you know, Snapfish. Yes, exactly. And so similar, I had the opportunity to do a random act of kindness and shout someone's lunch.

Yep. So you know how when you're on the flight itself, if they bring around the snack cart, obviously water, tea and coffee, that's complimentary, but they've also got the menu and you can order snacks and stuff and pay for that. Yeah. You use your own money. Yep. Yep.

So there was an old lady sitting next to me and she was ordering up a fucking feast. Like she was going ham. She got a like chicken and lettuce sandwich, a banana bread, some Pringles, a little can of lemonade. She was loving it. Yeah. And then she pulls out her purse to try and pay for the snacks on board, right? And they said, oh, I'm so sorry, we only do card.

Oh. And so she pulls out the iPhone and tries to do the Apple Pay thing. Yeah, pay for it. Which kind of shocked me, by the way, because I'm like, if you're carrying coins, I did not expect her to be advanced enough with technology to have Apple Pay. Oh, I know where this is going. That really shocked me.

I've been in a similar situation. Have you? Yeah, this is terrible. Yeah. And so they said to her, sorry, ma'am, we also don't do Apple Pay. We don't do cash or Apple Pay. The only option is a physical card. Yes.

So she couldn't pay for her food and I felt so bad for her. Was it already on her tray table? Like, had they already put her banana bread and her Pringles down? No, no, they hadn't handed it over, but they were dangling it in front of her. It was on the tray, but still on the wheelie thing. If they'd gathered it all together at the payment step, that's where she had the hurdle because she only had cash or Apple Pay. This is so awkward.

Everyone's standing in the galley and people are trying to get to the bathroom. It's very stressful. Oh, I have so much to say about that. That's a whole other fucking rant, by the way. Yeah. And so because I'm a genius, I knew from having made this mistake prior that, yes, they only accept physical cards on the plane when you want to buy a snack. Yes.

And so right as I was about to check my suitcase in, you know how you have the self-check-in thing for your suitcase? Yeah. It's on the conveyor belt. It's literally about to go. And then I went, oh shit, fuck, that's right. I need my physical card. So I reached in.

I knew where the wallet was. It was in that pocket on the lid of the suitcase. You know that pocket where you put your dirty undies? Easy access. Yeah, it was in there. So I just quickly reached in, grabbed my physical card, chucked the wallet back in, off the on the lid of the suitcase. You know that's in the pocket where you put your dirty undies? Easy access. Yeah, it was in there. So I just quickly reached in, grabbed my physical card, chucked the wallet back in, off the suitcase goes.

You're a smart cookie. Fuck yeah. I remembered last minute to get the physical card. And so I stepped in. When old Mavis or whatever couldn't pay for her feast, I was like, you know what? I got this, Mavis. My shout. It's so fine.

I've got this. And once again, similar to you, she was like, thank you, thank I got this, Mavis. My shout. It's so fine. I've got this. And once again, similar to you, she was like, thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. And I was like, no, it's no trouble. It's fine. I'll just grab my physical card. It was my fucking Medicare card, wasn't it?

Oh, no. Oh, no. I grabbed the wrong card out of the wallet. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. So then how did you tell Mavisvis that you did you break it to her that she wasn't getting a nani bread well it was pretty fucking obvious everyone saw it i pulled it out of my backpack and the flight attendant's there she's there and we're like oh actually no

i'm so sorry mavis i really thought i had my physical card i just grabbed it out of the wallet didn't check in the rush of my bag on the conveyor belt i just grabbed what i thought was my card i thought it was in that slot and chucked it in my pocket. Do you bulk bill, banana bread? Well, actually, the flight attendant was so humiliated on my behalf that she personally paid for it. She did not. She did not.

She did. What the fuck? The flight attendant gazumped my random act of kindness. Wow. Did you have to pay her back? No, no. The flight attendant was like, honestly, I got this. Oh, my God. That is so nice. That was really nice, I thought. Did you have to pay her back? No, no. The flight attendant was like, honestly, I got this. Oh, my God.

That is so nice. That was really nice, I thought. Did you order anything, too? Well, no, I couldn't, could I? I didn't have a physical card. Did Mavis offer you a fucking Pringle? No. Cow?

I kind of went red and didn't really want to interact with Mavis ever again. Totally. Where were you seated? Were you in the aisle or middle seat? Aisle. Are you in the aisle? Mavis was in the middle? Yep.

Oh, my God. So the poor person on the window had to be like these fucking people they were asleep they were dead to the right oh no that yeah that's very stressful it was mortifying because i'm like i get the opportunity to be like a hero right now and then i fucked it up it was a medicare you and i had terrible people we both had the chance and it was i tried i tried you had the chance and you chose not to no in fact i did it and then i retracted it. Yeah. Even worse. All right, what's the second? What else happened?

The second one was on stage, right? So, you know, I was talking in the Monday episode about if I don't have my nails well done, then I'm a little bit distracted. Like in my mind, if I've got a beautiful set of like polished, shiny fingernails, all is right in the world. I can conquer the day. So it was similar to that. Have you noticed, you might have even noticed in the studio, if I've got my hair untied, I've got my hair out. Sometimes if I'm in like a performance scenario, be it the podcast or on stage, I will almost use my hair as a fidget toy. Uh-huh, I have.

To like release the nerves. Yes. And there was one time where my show was filmed in Brisbane and I had my hair out. And as I'm watching it back trying to edit social media videos, I was like, fuck, that's annoying. I keep touching my hair. Just leave it alone. Oh, you were noticing it watching it back.

Yeah, yeah. It was annoying me. And so I was like, right, from now on when I do comedy shows, hair up, hair up in the ponytail with a scrunchie. Also, it looks kind of cute. So it works for me. And I find that if I've got the hair up, I'm just a little bit more grounded because I'm not fiddling with it.

You know, I'm just a little bit more present, a little bit calmer. It just works. Right, and you've got your nails done. And also there's no opportunity for me to get fucking sweaty on stage. If I've got the hair up, sometimes I feel a little sweaty. I'm like, ew, that's gross. So tied up, that's just the easiest solution. So my Perth show, I was backstage in the green room

and this green room wasn't like literally backstage. It was down the hallway ages away from the actual stage where I'd be performing. And so I couldn't hear what was happening. I would have missed my cue. And so I came to an arrangement with the guy pressing play on my, here's Mitchell Coombs intro music. He said, I'll text you saying good to go. Then 30 seconds later, I'll hit go on your music. Wow. Okay. So in that 30 seconds, I had to stand by the door with my ear to it,

making sure I get the cue right. And so I get that text saying, we're good to go. And then I went, fuck me. Fuck. I need to tie my hair up. Where's my scrunchie? Where's my fucking scrunchie? Yeah, I had my hair out in the green room and I didn't, I don't know, I kind of lost track of time.

I didn't realize I was going to get that text so soon. Were you alone in the green room? Yes, I was at that time. And I was actually doing my hair with the Dyson Air app. And so I got the text and I was like, fuck, fuck, fuck. Where is my, where is my scrunchie? I can't tie it up. And then I was like, I've got 30 seconds now, so I can't fuck around too long looking for

it. So I'm just going to have to go out there with my hair out tonight, I guess. And so I did like the first 15 minutes of the show with my hair down. It looked fucking great. I was having a good hair day. So it's not a big disaster. Okay. But then eventually I started to find it a bit distracting.

And so I just said to the crowd, I was like, listen, can I be real with you? Does anyone have a hair tie that I can borrow? Yeah. Can I borrow a hair tie, please? And then I see all the ladies in the room. Some of them start to like take their own hair tie out. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. You don't have to sacrifice yours.

I just, I could not find my scrunchie. I just need one. If anyone has a spare, that's okay. And then I hear everyone start yelling at me. Couldn't really decipher it. It's just like. Oh, no. What?

Yeah. Everyone points at me and goes, it's on your wrist. Mitchell. Yeah. Was it a scrunchie or was it a hair tie? It was this exact scrunchie that I've got in my hair right now. That's fucking huge. And it was on my wrist.

Oh, no. And I just didn't think to check there. You're stressed. You were stressed. I was on my wrist. Oh, no. And I just didn't think to check there. You're stressed. You were stressed. I was jet lagged. I swear the Perth time zone difference is enough to be jet lagged. Oh, no. So that was a great moment of the show, though.

Everyone was like, oh, ha, ha, ha. It was on his wrist. I mean, there was part of me that thought, that's kind of funny. You couldn't write that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's kind of funny. But I was also just like, wow, that was one of the biggest laughs of the night,

and people were laughing at me. Not with me. Like it worked, but I was also feeling like a dickhead, you know? Mitch Coombs is a great comic. We spent the night laughing at him. Isn't the review that you wanted from the night? No, not really. I can imagine. No, no.

Wait, did I see that social clip? You did another clip. Oh, and I saw your Spanx clip. Oh, yeah. That was the wardrobe malfunction in Brisbane. Shit, you love like a wardrobe moment. It's very, very you. No, I don't love a wardrobe moment.

It's one of those moments that just keeps like repeating in my brain. So what? Oh, what a fuckwit. Did you put it up in the show? Did it work? Did the confidence boost kick in? Yeah, I tied it up then and there and then we were good to go. Do you ever have those moments though where it just repeats in your mind and you're like mortified?

And sometimes if you remember it, you just go, oh, nah. Oh my God. Shut that down. I don't want to think about it. Oh my God. You know what I said on the air? I was interviewing Marsha Hines the other day and I asked her if she was good. If she was what?

I wanted to know if she was great or good. I'm like, are you great, Marsha? But I'm like, that doesn't sound right. Are you good, Marsha? But instead I went, Marsha, are you good? And then she went, honey. You know, she's so beautiful. Oh, I love her.

And she just carries on. But then the whole day I'm like, I fucking said, I asked Marsha Hines if she's good. You all good? Like, you know when you merge two words together? Yeah, yeah, yeah. As like someone who just speaks at such high volume. And you know me, I don't prep plan.

Plan. See, I do it all the time. I don't prep. I don't prep. That was my brain going prep and plan. I don't prep plan. Plan. See, I do it all the time. I don't prep. I don't prep. That was my brain going prep and plan. I don't prep nor plan anything. I just speak. So sometimes my brain's like two words, just push them together.

Yeah, your brain runs quicker than your mouth. 100%. So I asked Marsha Hans if she was good. Couldn't stop thinking about that. I've got another like deep-seated, embarrassing memory from when I worked here. And every time it pops into my mind I just like oh no let that leave your mind let's not dwell on that because it's like I get red thinking about it yeah you know what I do oh do you want to talk about it or you know should I

yeah if I can do it oh it was like oh it was when when mortifying so this was um not long before I left my job here at kids I was sitting out there at that desk. Yeah. And because I was at that point in my life where I was just a fucking, a hot mess, didn't give a shit. And I'd already resigned, I think. So I was sitting there vaping at my desk. Yeah, of course.

You clocked out. But I used to like steal intern Pete's vape all the time. He and I would vape at the desks really subtly all the time. Right. Yeah. And so at this particular moment, I wasn't paying attention. I had a hit of the vape at my desk as the boss walks through. Oh, shit.

The content director. And he goes, Mitch, no vaping at your desk, please. And that's not the mortifying part. That's quite respectful. Yeah. He goes, just keep the vaping for outside. But what came out of my mouth next is the mortifying part. I don't know why this is what word vomited out, but I said to him, oh, Pete and I do

it all the time, so you're going to have to have a word to him too. Fuck you. You're a snitch. I know. What a dog act. Totally. And do you know what happens? He did have a word with intern Pete.

And I was like, as he walked away, I literally turned to the person that sat next to me at the time. I was like, what the fuck? Why did I just do that? Yeah, it's too much. I just knocked on him. You're a bitch. To this day, every time that memory pops in, I'm just like, oh, don't think about it.

Don't think about it too long. Why the fuck did I say that? What a piece of shit. There's a nicotine in your blood. You weren't in control of your own body. I can't believe I just threw him under the bus. And it just came out before I had a chance to think about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't believe I just threw him under the bus. And it just came out before I had a chance to think about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've been there. I had an experience recently when I was in the bedroom with someone and the dirty talk was fine in the moment. But then after, when you have that post-nut clarity, you go, the things that I was saying, Shakespeare couldn't come up with. The tall tales that I spin, the things that I tell someone I'm going to do to them, I never fucking do. See, I don't really venture into dirty talk too much because I'm scared of that. Oh, in the things that I tell someone I'm going to do to them, I never fucking do. See, I don't really venture into Dirty Talk too much because I'm scared of that.

Oh, it's awful, Mitchell. The dread afterwards of like, what the hell just came out of my mouth. No, I can't. I can't. No, it's so bad. What have you said? No, I don't want to. I'm not saying it.

Yeah, here we go. This is what we're unlocking. This is what I meant. Just like stupid things that you dwell on for no reason because you're mortified. It just makes me sicker. And the other person, do they laugh at me? Are they thinking this is good? meant. Just like stupid things that you dwell on for no reason because you're mortified. It just makes me sick. And the other person, do they laugh at me? Are they thinking this is good? They seem to like it. They finish.

What did you say? No, I don't remember. No, it was just along the lines of one. Do you like that? Like you're loving that. You love my dick. Yeah. X, Y, Z. Oh, okay. And it's like, what a dumb thing to say. If you get a fucking croissant from a baker, they go, you like my fucking croissant? It's like, oh God. Imagine if you were like, oh yeah, you like that? And they went, no a dumb thing to say. If you get a fucking croissant from a baker, they go, you like my fucking croissant? It's like, oh God, it's too much.

Imagine if you were like, oh yeah, you like that? And they went, no. Yes, I know. They were truthful. Can't stand it. I don't know how I got in this situation, actually. To be honest, you're just on top of me. If you weren't, I'd leave.

Yeah, no, that's why I don't really dabble in Dirty Talk because I don't think I'd be any good at it and I'd overthink it. I don't need more things to overthink. Also, when you think Mitchell and Sean, do you think that's two people that are good at dirty talk, both of us? Absolutely not. Yeah, no. There was one time that – oh, God, this is so oversharing. Tell me.

I'm going to have to check if Sean's okay with me leaving this in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was one time that I let it rip on his chest. Yeah. And you know what he said? What? Oh, well done. No.

Oh, he's so sweet. What? Oh, well done. No. Oh, he's so sweet. I was like, well done. I don't think he said that to me when I finished. Well done. Like you're a toddler who's just presented a finger painting. Well done. Well, something's getting fingered. Oh, God.

Is it just me? Make sure you leave a review on your podcast app. If you don't, you're a little bitch. Now, if you were listening to last Monday's episode, I'm fucking going to be pushing my memory now. Is it 173? Mitch, you remember these episode titles. Love you.

I don't. I just don't. I could be wrong, but I think it was last Monday where I brought to you a moment from the Real Housewives of Sydney. Oh, yeah, of course. Where I noticed that one of the housewives, Nicole, she was teaching her daughter to cook, and when she said the word cook, it was the shortest syllable ever.

Correct. Remember this? This is a very basic pasta that I thought I would show you today. It's very important for Noelle to learn to cook. It's very important for anyone to learn how to cook. And we were obviously just taking the piss out of that for some reason. Yes. We just dwelled on that little detail that she says cook, cook as a really fast syllable.

She cuts the O's out and it's just CK. Cook, cook. Yeah. It's C apostrophe K. Yeah. Yeah. And so when I first saw that, I kept rewinding it and rewatching it because I found it so funny.

Well, episode seven of Housewives came out, so you can imagine I had a fucking field day when they went to the launch of Chrissy's cookbook. Yes! They all do it. They all do it. Wait, they all do? Yes. Oh, it must be a rich white lady thing.

It must be. With the Aussie dialect, because they all just have a fine English. But I don't say cookbook weird, do I? Was that too quick? You're not a rich white lady. I just thought you meant Aussie dialect because they all just have a, it's refined English. I don't say cookbook weird, do I? Was that too quick? You're not a rich white lady. I just thought you meant Aussie accents or whatever. Oh, no, no. Because I know cook.

No, absolutely not. They all do have that trippy eastern suburbs accent, you know. Wait, so Chrissy was launching a cookbook. Yes. And they all went and they all have the same issue? Well, no, not all of them. But this was Chrissy, a different housewife. And she also shortens the fuck

out of anything with a double O. I recorded it for you. Have a listen. I'm actually surprised you invited Kate. The whole reason I started this cookbook was because it was about family and friends coming together. It doesn't matter how Kate behaves. I'm still going to include her.

This whole cookbook idea is that you don't have to be good at cooking to be able to cook. So it says like turn knob on oven. This is what this cookbook's about. You don't have to think. Oh my god. It's somehow better. I actually, I think, wait, we need to get

a stopwatch out because Chrissy actually somehow has made it a shorter word. Cookbook. Cookbook. Wait, hold on. I'm going to play them both side by side. Yep. So the first one was Nicole. Okay, so this is Nicole. This is a very basic pasta that I thought I would show you today. It's very important for Noelle to learn to cook.

It's very important for anyone to learn how to cook. Oh, that's worse. I'm actually surprised you invited Kate. The whole reason I started this cookbook was because... That's so funny. I don't know why I find it so funny. It's got to be a rich person thing. It's got to be because that's fucking, that's nuts.

Like this bitch is literally in the field of making food and dare I say cooking. Yes. And yet she says it like that, cookbook. That's so funny. And, you know, she's donating all the proceeds from her cookbook to Ronald McDonald House, which is nice, isn't it? Yeah, that's actually very nice.

Who's the first lady? Nicole. Nicole, yeah. I'm just shocked that she was overtook. It shocks me. Oh my god. Anyway, oh my god, I thought of a stupid one, but I don't know how to say this. This might be hard, actually. Yeah, it's hard to work it in.

Spin a tall tale. Sometimes giving it good backstory helps. Yeah, It's hard to work it in. Spin a tall tale. Sometimes giving it good backstory helps. Yeah. Okay. Well, I was going for a walk at the dog park the other day. Oh, yeah. Right? And there's a lady walking a dog right in front of me. And the dog just does a shit.

Oh, God. On the path right in front of me. It all happened too quickly. I was looking at my phone. Yeah. So I didn't see it coming. I literally trod in dog shit. Oh, that's the worst feeling. And I was like, oh, my God. I didn't see it coming. I literally trod in dog shit. That's the worst feeling.

And I was like, oh, my God. These are brand new joggers. What the fuck? And now they're ruined. And the lady was like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry about that. I'll buy you a new pair. Where did you get them?

I said, oh, I got them from Athlete's Foot. Interesting. Yeah. They're a good pair of brooks. What? You said that too quick. I did. The shoe brand brooks. Oh, brooks. too quick. I did. The shoe brand brooks.

Oh, brooks. It's hard to get an S on there. Yeah. Yeah. It is nice that the ladies all patook in the book launch, don't you think? Yeah, no, that is nice of them, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this guy you're dating.

Yeah. Where's this headed, you know? Are you going to become official or is he more of a hooker? Oh, I can't say hook quickly. That's hard. Hooker. Up can't be short or is he more of a hooker? Oh, I can't say hook quickly. That's hard. Hooker. An up can't be short. It has to be hooker up.

Oh, yeah. Up has to be completely normal. Hooker up. No, no. I think it could be more than hooker. No, see, up is so hard. That one's too hard. That's hard.

Could be more than hooker. Fuck that. God, my brain's fried. Honestly, I am so fucking busy and burnt out at this time of year. Like, don't even ask me to hang out. No. I've got no spare time. I'm fully booked.

Yeah. And Mitchell, I saw you today and I thought, God, he looks shi- You know? Oh, let me tell you. You know, when I was in Perth. Yeah, yeah. Right? Of course, all over it, yeah.

You know, I told you that the hotel upgraded me to a nicer room because one of the people that works there is a fan which was really lovely had a fucking gorgeous spa bath in this upgraded room you said that you got yeah yeah gorgeous and so i had a quick soak in the spa bath before the show quick relaxing moment i had the jets going full ball it was having fun with that i'm sure no doubt yeah and i'm sitting there on my phone, which is a risky move, you know, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Using your phone in the bath, but I do it all the time. Yep, yep.

And then, of course, this one fucking time of all times, I bloody dropped it. It slipped out. Yeah. Fell into the spa bath. Oh, fuck. Fully submerged. And then because the jets are going, I couldn't fucking find it. Oh, no.

The water was a bit foggy. I was like, oh, my God, where's the phone? So by the time I pulled it out, like, the phone, there was no saving it. It was kaput. Oh, no. It was broken, was it? I think that was a bit too long. No, I agree.

You told me to make the back story longer, but I think I'm getting a bit too carried away with it. I get so stressed. It's like a jump scare. I'm like, where the fuck is it coming? My phone's kaput. Yeah. No, you really have me on tenterhooks throughout that entire story. I know we have the long stories, but I've given up.

I'll keep this one short and sweet. Remember last week, because we had those pots of ours on eBay. Yeah. Remember last week, I texted you a photo of me holding the bowl. And I said, here you go, pop that on eBay. Did you get those eBay listings done for me? And you said, oh, where are the pots? Yeah.

Did you take them home with you? I don't have them. That was stressful. And I said, no, I don't have them. I left them on your desk. And I was like, don't tell me you lost the pots. Where did you put them? Oh, my God.

Actually, funny story. Someone took them from the kitchen, the cleaner, and put them in the dishwasher. Yeah, took them and put them in the dishwasher. Yeah. You know, back to that story that I told about getting lost in the national park. The guy was really good. He put up with it. You know, like we had good banter and connection and he was so upset about how that lady treated

us. And the only negative, like, thought, you know, when you leave a date and you have negative thoughts, like you think about all the red flags, green flags. Yes. Biggest red flag to me. He was just such a... That was a good one. Thank you. Thank you. The all the red flags, green flags. Biggest red flag to me. He was just such a... That was a good one. Thank you. The story was waning a little.

I had to get it out. Oh, fuck. I love that. I love the Housewives. I feel like there'd be more because it has to be the O's that they add. It's like the vowel syllables. Like there'd be a U. I want to keep watching and looking for more. I wonder if it has to end with the letter K because cook and book both do.

Cook book. Like do they just. I can't believe how fucked Chrissy is. That's really bad. That one was worse. Cook book. And she just kept saying it. I was like, fuck.

Rewind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. I can't think of any other words. Oh no. Well, you know how I'm wanting to move out of home?

Yeah. I was at an open house know how I'm wanting to move out of home? Yeah. I was at an open house recently because I'm looking at rentals. Oh, you went for a quick look? Yeah. A real quick look. And the real estate agent was going, this property you'll love, Mitchell. I'm going, tell me about it. They went, it's got a gorgeous two-car garage, beautiful French-style kitchen, en suite, pantry,

and a reading nook. A reading nook reading I was really excited I thought I could get into this Book me in Book me in Gosh There's not many other words That rhyme

I'm thinking of a lot But it has to end with that Because I tried to say hook up and you can't just hook up. No, you can't. Like I was going to say, oh, that sounds like a rookie error. Yeah, yeah, no, it doesn't work. No.

All right, on that note, shall we go? Shall we leave? Oh, I'm so determined. No, if we think of more, they'll hit us, I'm sure, and we'll let you know. But in the meantime, we need to go. Yeah. Just listen to Chrissy one more time. It's so funny.

It's fucking hilarious. I'm actually surprised you invited Kate. The whole reason I started this cookbook was because it was about family and friends coming together. It doesn't matter how Kate behaves. I'm still going to include her. This whole cookbook idea is that you don't have to be good at cooking to be able to cook.

So it says, like, turn knob on oven. This is what this cookbook's about. You don't overthink things. Right. So good. So good. I can't get enough. Neither can I. All right, let's go. Thank you't overthink things. So good. So good. I can't get enough. Neither can I.

All right, let's go. Thank you for listening, guys. We'll see you on Monday. Mugtober. What? Mugvember. Mugvember. A couple of days left.

No, it's literally Thursday the 30th. Oh, shit. So tomorrow. So if you're listening to this the day it drops, you've got mere hours left to order. These mugs will never be available for sale again exactly last chance to get season 5 limited run mug but also if you don't buy one I don't mind

because fuck me it's getting very oh the admin of selling out these mugs it's a good problem to have we're selling heats but fuck happy to do it because it's only for the month correct a couple hours left to buy a mug we love you and we will see you all on Monday.

Catch you then, idiots. Thanks for listening. Bye. See ya. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADT Brief. This is our secret segment on the end.

Oh, you've got to be done by four, don't you? I do. It's 3.52. Let's make this short and sweet. That's all right. One thing we cannot fucking afford not to do in ADD Brief is remember ages ago. Yes. I'm talking ages ago.

Yes. We got a call from Tricia from Canada. I do. She came on with an either just you or her own. Yep. And she told us that she was going to send us some Canadian tooks. You know, I'm so mad because I knew that one was going to happen and I wanted it. I just thought of it as a thing.

No, I wanted to do it. I wanted to take it. She was going to send us toques, which is for some reason what we would call a beanie. Beanie in Canada. They're extra thick because it gets so fucking cold in Canada. Yeah, exactly. And so she sent that months and months and months ago. And I remember her checking and going, have you got them yet?

And we were like, no. I don't know if there was some issue with the postage. Maybe it took ages. Maybe they got lost. Also, full transparency, it did sit in my pigeonhole for about a month before I knew it was there. Well, this is the thing. I said to you last week, whatever happened to Trisha's toque?

Yes. Where are they? And you were like, oh, I've got them upstairs now. I know. I know. You just kept forgetting to bring it up. This poor Trisha woman, if you're listening, yes, we received them and we're opening them now.

We've got it! Remember? We said we would do it live on the show. Yes. Poor Jenna's not here for her talk, but whatever. She'll be fine. I'm trying to find a Canadian national anthem, but I don't think it exists. I'm sure they have one. Oh, the country. You don't think it exists?

No, I meant on the database here. What is Canadian music? Justin Bieber. Shania Twain's Canadian. There you go. Here we go. Oh, Canada. Oh, fuck me.

What? Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Mitchell. No way. What? She had a note in here explaining which toque belongs to which person, but it's not there. It must have fallen out.

Oh, no. Fuck. What are we going to do? Well, I'm going to Scotland, so I need the thickest one. Can I look? Show me. Oh, they're gorgeous. Yeah, I'll give you a look.

Look at this one. That is thick. That's you. From memory, she said that this one's for Jenna. Yeah, that's very feminine. This is the thick one that kind of looks like a beret. Correct. A beret, however you say it.

Yeah, beret. Here you go. I don't want that one. Why not? Because, can I see the other ones? Well, there's this one that's just got the Canadian flag on the front.

That wouldn't make much sense going to Scotland, would it? Yeah, and what's the other one? Same deal. Oh, let me try the... Try that one that is through to you because that one doesn't have the flag in it.

It's just... Oh, that actually does kind of work for you. No, it doesn't. I look like an idiot. It's giving a bit tea-cozy, but it works the flag in it. Oh, that actually does kind of work for you. No, it doesn't. I look like an idiot. It's giving a bit tea cosy, but it works. I like it. It's very thick.

Let me have a look. I'm going to put mine on too. Jeez, it looks very warm. Do beanies suit me? They actually do because your hair pops out the bottom. Normally beanies cut off hair, but yours looks great. Yeah, I can't have my hair done up inside a beanie because you just see this huge hump. People will think I've got some sort of growth underneath the beanie.

I like to pull out the front of my quiff out. Oh, yeah, that actually works. Can I try the grey one or the black one? I don't mind. Yeah, here you go. Cha. I like, um, well, I'm going to actually, I was thinking I needed to buy a bit. Oh, it's too small on my head.

I didn't want to say it, but yeah, that's why I said maybe you should go for the big baggy beret one. Well, thank you, Trisha, if you're listening. We received them and they're fucking adorable. They're very lovely and soft. I hear there's a little, by the looks of it, there's a little treat in there, like snacks. Here we have, Trisha has also sent us some hickory sticks. Oh, read them out. What's a hickory stick?

I don't know. It looks like, you know, the chips that we get here where it's the French fries? Oh, yeah. It's the really thin chips that you get with the assorted packets. Not like actual French fries. I'm talking the chips chips, like the packet. French fries. Oh, are you trying to take them off me?

Do you want to have first bite? No, you open them. Bullshit. You open first bite. Can you Google hickory sticks? Yeah, of course. She would have explained it on the note, which has gone AWOL, which I feel really stupid about.

I bet it's in the boot of my car or my house. Hickory sticks. 1159. Hostess Hickory Sticks. Here you go. Oh. Oh, my God. Holy shit.

What does that taste like? What does that taste like? Oh, oh. It reminded me of something very specific. I know. I can already smell it. What is it? I know.

I'm going to blow your mind. What? Cheese and bacon shapes. Yes. Oh, my God. It is that. It's cheese and bacon shapes. Yes! Oh, my God, it is that. It's cheese and bacon shapes. Holy fuck, that is lovely. Wow.

Yeah, wow. Imagine cheese and bacon flavoured French fries chips. That's what it is. Oh, they're lovely. Are they a Canadian thing based on your Google? Crunch munch taste, yeah. I can only assume that that's why she would have sent her, that it's like a uniquely Canadian thing.

Yeah, a Canadian fave, it says. Oh, it's fucking delightful. That is lovely. Are you right? With my hickory sticks and my toque? Jenna, what's her name? What's her name? Trish.

Trisha. I just called her Jenna. Jenna. Thank you. Give them back. Why did you put them over there? Look at you putting them aside with your bag like you're just going to take them home. Fuck you.

That's not what I meant. I want more. Trisha, thank you. And if any internationals are listening and you want to send us international treats, please. Yeah, of course. We'll take them. We won't say no.

Oh, Trisha, that's very sweet. Thank you. I heard another podcast I listened to, they were rabbiting on about Percy Pigs. They're like a pink UK lolly and they're like the best thing in the world. And if you're in the UK, what's a Percy pig? I want to try one. Oh, shit. It's Harry Connick Jr.

What? Harry Connick Jr. is calling. Look on the phone lines. Oh, is that what I had to go up for? Yeah, Harry Connick Jr. Well, he's early. He can wait till four. Fuck him.

My producer Tony's out there. She'll have to answer the call. Thanks for listening, everyone. Thanks, Trish. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today. That's all. It's 2%. So we do.

I had so much more to say. Fuck Harry Connick Jr. Sorry, we've been silenced by has-been celebrity Harry Connick. We can just keep talking until it's answered. Oh my God, imagine if he could hear this on hold and you just called him has-been. He wouldn't be able to. No possible way. Why is he calling early?

That's rare for a celebrity to be early. Well, he wouldn't answer. It was his PR people that would then connect him. Oh, they've stopped calling. Look at that. Yeah, because they'll now call Tony my EP to go, why didn't you answer? And she'll go, because you were two minutes early. And they'll fight and fight and fight. Oh, God, the joy's the Friday, huh? Isn't it lovely and live and fun

and entertainment? We'll see you in a week. Thank you for listening. No, he's calling back. Oh, shit. Let me take it. Hold on. Hello, guys. This is Kiss. Hello, it's Lisa here. Hi, Lisa. Really good. Can I pop you on hold for two seconds? Do you mind? Absolutely. Hello, guys. This is Kiss. Hello, it's Lisa here. Hi, Lisa. Really good. Can I pop you on hold for two seconds?

Do you mind? Absolutely. Thanks, Lisa. Absolutely, that's fine, Mitch. No problem. Okay. Well, I've got to go. Well, that's that done.

I had so much more to say in this A to D brief, but I'll just have to save it. You're silenced, Mitchell. You've been gagged. Gag order. Again. Yeah. All right, let's go. I've got to go.

See you, Harry. See you. See you, listeners. Goodbye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.