Is It Just Me? - #178: Rollercoaster

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

In this episode: How good’s a loyalty card (05:41) Being content with your own company (14:46) Jenna’s Junk - Socks and slides, getting lost, kids tables + more (20:38) An update on our eBay pottery auction! (44:11) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (55:41)   Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you. Hello you. Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Can you post videos to YouTube? What sort of a question is that? Can I send letters at the post office?

Now here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, you. Hello, you. Hello, you. Okay. I'm just trying to change my inflection. Hello, you. Because I find I always go up.

We've had this exact conversation before about your inflection. Do you want to know the truth? Some bitch posted in the group going, when you log on for Spotify wrapped, it goes, hello, you. Here we go. And everyone goes, that reminded me of Mitchell Coombs. I say it too. You say it first. Yeah, and they go, I remember Mitchell Coombs. Fuck off.

God, you're in a mood today. I can just tell. Reminds me of my sweet, sweet Coombs. Once that fat one's done speaking, reminds me of Coombs. Oh, I feel that today's the day we're going to get another mug-smashing style tantrum from you. I really hope so. You're lucky there's not a mug on this side of desk.

Well, I've got some on this side. These have already been sold, remember? Oh, no, they're our ceramics that have been sold. No, don't click them together. I'm just cheersing. Yeah? These are the pots that we made at our pottery class, and today we reveal who won them on eBay.

Oh, my God. That is so exciting. I don't know if it's won. No, it's not won. It is legally obtained. Like, they paid for it. Like, if you go to a house auction, did you win the auction? It's not like a freebie.

No, you're exactly right. They bought it. Yeah. Yeah, they've just purchased them. Whereas if you win a fucking ham raffle, you won something. That's for free. I'd kill for a ham raffle. I didn't win. I went to one the other night.

I've never been to one in my life. Oh, they're so minging, but in a good way. It's like chops and sausages and mince, right? Well, not at the ham raffle. That's just ham. But the meat trays, oh, fuck me up. I have won a few of those. I'd love to win a meat tray.

I love cold cut meats. Did you know that you actually can buy Christmas ham all year round? Really? Yep. The only difference is that it's got different marketing on it. But a leg of ham is a new ham. What, would you have to go to a butcher or something? No, I'll sell them all year round.

All right. Not in such high demand. Pricekeeper Jen is here, of course, speaking of leg ham. You know what is a weird thing to think about? What? Wow. Jinx. One leg ham is one leg. So that means that four leg hams is one animal. That's true. Do they specify which leg it came from? Good point. Back left hoof. I'm not sure. It's like when you go to KFC

and they give you two wings, two legs, four giblets. That's actually not from the same chicken. You're eating two different chickens. They could be cousins or something. See, this chat makes me want to go vegan. Why? That's sad. I was about to invite you to the fucking ham raffle.

Oh, can I come to a ham raffle? It's such a good time. Okay, no. Brainstorm. Brainstorm. Yeah. The Is It Just Me Christmas Party at my local bowling club, which does the ham raffle.

I love that. And we can do lawn bowls. I'd love it. All right, what are we going to do? What do we wear? Christmas clothes? Hats. Up to you.

I want to wear little reindeer ears with bells on them so you know I'm coming. I was actually there the other night at the most recent ham raffle and there were people there at their Christmas party. It was only like a table of, I'd say, 15 people or so. Oh, that's so cute. And they were having a blast. That's the time of their life.

And I just thought, maybe I should have a Christmas party here. But then I thought, who the fuck am I going to have a Christmas party with? You don't have a staff. No. Oh my God, let's do it. Yeah, let's do it. Who else do it? It is a bit depressing being like self-employed. And I'm like, oh, I don't get any of the fun

shit like Christmas parties. Yeah. You know, the camaraderie that comes with it. I mean, you could call your accountant. Yeah. You could call your entertainment lawyer. Yeah. Invite your manager.

I don't have an entertainment lawyer. I haven't gotten into trouble yet. Oh God. I had to call one. What for? I got cease and desist from the hot girl walk creator. Did you? Yeah.

She told me to stop. She goes, hi, I invented the hot girl walk. I went, no, you fucking didn't. You didn't. Is this the person that has the phrase hot girl walk trademarked? Yeah, she's got it trademarked in the Australasia region. And you actually got a cease and desist? Yep.

That's why I've stopped posting on my walks. But I thought that you started calling them HGWs. I did, but it was just not worth it. Is that not enough of a loophole? No. So I've put on 40 kilos. Well, if I can't post about it, why walk? Totally.

No, no. I just had to stop posting. So I had a good entertainment lawyer. I love the idea of a Christmas party for us. We're going to do the Kris Kringle on the final shot. No, it's the Savage Santa. Savage Santa. Which is where everyone gets one present, everyone gives one present.

But if you like someone else's, you can steal it. There's only three of us. Maybe I should bring Oscar into it so there's more. Oh, yeah. The full team. Should he come to the Christmas party too? Yeah, he can come. The whole team.

But the Instapost, I hate to say, will be the three of us. That's fine. He can take it. You know, like Dua Lipa makes a new album and she puts up a photo. It's with Mark Ronson and four other producers. I'm like, get the fuck out of the picture. Miley's like, may bring your album, Cigarette and Love is out. And then it's like 12 different producers in a studio.

I'm like, fuck off, Little Rats. I want her and Noah Ray. Not something I've ever noticed, to be honest. Oh, it pisses me off. Or you follow the cast of Wicked and they're like, couldn't do it without this amazing. I'm like, you get Elphaba and you get Glinda on that stage and no one fucking else.

He's in such a cranky mood. Yeah, you're very cranky. We've actually swapped roles because I'm having a bloody lovely day. I'm so chipper. Is there Christian music playing or am I having a manic episode? No, it's there. It's there. Good.

Why are you having a lovely day, Mitchell? Oh, why are you having a lovely day, Mitchell? Thank you. Well, I have a spring in my step because I'm a fucking sucker for, like, loyalty programs. Oh, like flybys? Well, yes, that, but... What, like friendships? No, like, if you let me fucking talk.

If you fucking let me spit it out. Now we just want rolls. Now the rolls have been reversed. I was having a very chipper day. No, go, why, why, why, flybys? I reaped the rewards of two loyalty programs today. Okay. One, I go to this one servo and every time I swap my SodaStream bottles,

they do a little hole punch on the loyalty card. Oh, you've spoken about this before. Have I? Yeah. Oh, I haven't heard it. Well, you really are determined to make me a bitch today, aren't you? Here I am just telling a lovely story about something joyous and you go, ah, heard it.

No, no, no. I'm not saying heard it. I more mean I've got the context. And you said- When have I spoken about that? You haven't. You Here I am just telling a lovely story about something joyous and you go, No, no, no. I'm not saying hurt her. I'm more mean I've got the context. And you said... When have I spoken about that? You haven't. You said I'm only up to two. You're so mean. Oh, that was when you were at my place. Well, I got my free one today. Yay! I got my fucking tenth one free. Free bubbles. By the way, you're allowed to say

oh, you've already spoken about this if it's something on the podcast. You did speak about it on the podcast. No, I didn't. I spoke about it when you were at my house. Oh, Mitchell, the lines are blurred. Whenever I talk to you, I feel like people are listening. Except you. Famously. Okay, what's the second loyalty reaping?

Yeah. I've been to 100 Scout Pilates and yoga classes, which means I'm part of the 100 Club and get a free shirt. Oh, that's so exciting. Congratulations. That's huge. That's so good. And that, I'm not nagging you.

I'm quite surprised I didn't get the same reaction at my free soda stream canister. The stakes are a little higher. I earned that thing. No, you've mentioned that on the show before. Which one? You get a shirt. And I can tell you when. My memory's working.

I would have mentioned that. Well, it's finally come to fruition. It's when Sean bought you a sweater for your birthday. Yeah. And you said, I wanted to save up or I wanted to... Yeah. Yeah, work towards it. Well, it's happened.

Wow. You don't have it on, no. No, no. What are you going to save it for, special occasions? I don't know. Is it going to be your workout shirt? No, that's the thing. I already have the merch from Scalpel Art.

Sean got me one, a shirt, and I can't wear it to the class because I don't want to sweat all over it. That's exciting. Also, would that make me look like a sycoph I can't wear it to the class because I don't want to sweat all over it. That's exciting. Also, would that make me look like a sycophant, turning up in their merch to their establishment? That's what I would think. No, no, no, no. Yes, if it's the general merch, like that's me coming

and doing a radio show with a Kiss FM shirt on. Yeah, that's fucking daggy. But if it's like a 10 years at Kiss, that's cute because it's an achievement. Oh, I see, yeah. That's true. It also shows other people, don't fucking mess with me. I'm king shit here at the Pilates clinic. Yeah. I'll make you sweat. Well, I actually haven't gotten the with me. I'm king shit here at the Pilates clinic. Yeah.

I'll make you sweat. Well, I actually haven't gotten the shirt yet. I only just noticed this morning that I've reached 100 classes, so I'll pick it up the next time. I don't know if it's a 100 shirt. I don't know if it's special or if it's just a random shirt. You'll have to call them. Or I can just chat to them tomorrow when I'm in there.

You'll have to chat to them. It's my point. My point on the broader spectrum. I'll be like, get this up, you. 100 classes. Where's my shirt? Well, at Vision Personal Training, because I hit 40 kilos this month, they're putting me up on the Lifetime Achievement Wall and I stay there forever.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, they took a photo of me and they put me on the wall in a little placard. Oh, wow. Yeah. Well, I came second in KX Pilates 40-20 challenge thing.

Wow, that rolls off the tongue. Yeah. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you very much. Did you get a shirt? No, but I got to put stickers on the board. That's nice.

You do it at a crash. Then you got to call my mum and say, pick me up. I sent a photo to my mum. Of course you did. Do you take part in any of those loyalty things where like they stamp your card or whatever, the 10th coffee is free, anything like that? Because I'm such a sucker for them. No, but I do love a flybys moment.

I've got the app. Oh, yeah. I've got all of that. Everyday rewards. Everyday rewards is better because you know the everyday rewards. You just tap your phone. You don't have to double tap and it knows you've got an everyday rewards card. Flybys has to be scanned. Yeah. But also, I know I can tap my flybys phone. You don't even have to double tap and it knows you've got an everyday rewards card. Flyby's has to be scanned.

But everyday rewards is NFC. I can tap my flyby's thing. Mine doesn't tap. Maybe it depends which one you're going to. Yeah, maybe I've got old school. Yeah. But I also find that everyday rewards is more actual rewards. Yeah. Oh yeah, flyby's is a bit of a scam. I don't really get off on that shit that much. It's like the small business loyalty things that I love.

The little cards. Oh yeah. I'm nearly up to a free salad from my local cafe. Oh, that's good. This is just me on the flight. I've got seven. If I buy nine, I get the tenth free. That's really good. More places should bring in loyalty.

You know, we really should do a loyalty program for episodes listened to. How do they prove? We can't stamp every episode they've listened to. One conversation with a person that's listened to every one of our episodes, and it'd be very clear they've listened to every one, I feel. Or you know how on the podcast app, whatever it may be, Apple or Spotify, it's got a tick next to it. It says played.

Yeah. It's like if you send us a screen recording where it's got a hundred, I don't want to fucking count. We don't want any more. How do we get people to prove they've listened to a hundred episodes? We quiz them. We do a great loyalty quiz. You get all these answers right, you win a loyalty card.

We'll get them made up. Wait, you win a loyalty card? Yeah, Mitch will design it, Jenna will print it, and I'll talk about it. I was thinking the 100 club, but a lot of people will have already listened to 100 episodes because we've done 178. You know what we should do when we hit 200 episodes, which will be at mid next year. Actually, it'll be early next year. Yeah, we do a 200 club of sorts.

We will get 10 people on and we'll quiz them based on 200 episodes of content. The problem with that is that with our memories, particularly yours, no offence, how are we going to write the quiz questions? We don't fucking remember what we've spoken about. That was rude, Jenna. He pointed pointed at you and that's not nice.

You're so right. We'll have to employ someone to do it. Oh, God. Anyway, I do like the idea of some sort of loyalty program, but I don't know how to go about it. If you know our show well, you know that many of our ideas are great and they never get done. We went to a show from a bunning sausage sizzle.

Oh, yeah, that never happened. Yeah, that was Sam's task. Yeah. Now he works at TikTok. He's hosting TikTok task. Yeah. Now he works at TikTok. He's hosting TikTok Lives. Yeah. Like he's on Denil's Direct. Anyone see that?

Great job. Can I just say, we need to do a spin-off of Talkback Tings, where instead of playing the cook shit on Talkback Radio, it's TVSN. Yes, I agree. The shopping network. I watched it the other day. It's fucking, I didn't realise that a lot of the time it's live.

I thought it was just advertorials on repeat, but it's live. I've got a friend, this woman literally had a coughing fit because she was live on air. She was like, I've got a frog in my throat, so I'm going to let you look at this beautiful ring. Look at the close-up on the ring rotating on the table while she died. And then she comes back and goes, okay, it's diamond date. Excuse me.

Wow. I was like, I didn't know it was live. This is fascinating. That's really funny. I could have stopped watching. That lady does so many of the advertorial stuff. That British woman with the hook nose? You know what else is a bit cook?

The latest. The late, late news at 11.30 on Channel 7. They go a bit rogue, don't they? Oh, my God. It's not a standard news bulletin. You know what? Is it just me on the fly? They throw around breaking news so loosely.

Oh, they do. Michael Usher went, breaking news now. Larnie is here at the opening of the new Metro. Hi, Larnie. Yeah, I'm so numb to the phrase breaking news because they throw it around like it's nothing. Yeah. 100%. I'm over it.

Breaking news to me is they found Maddie. Seriously? There was an episode of Media Watch where they were taking the piss out of Sunrise for using breaking news like it's nothing. It was like, in breaking news, seconds from disaster, Prince William lucky to be alive. And then the actual story was that a helicopter that he sometimes flies nearly crashed, but he wasn't on board. Oh my God.

Wow. So he often pilots it. He wasn't that day and it nearly crashed. he wasn't on board oh my god wow so he often pilots it he wasn't that day no and it nearly crashed that's why so he's seconds from disaster and lucky to be alive all right um she well listen welcome to is it just me every show we start the same start we're at the start of the show with an is it just me um we have an is it just me from a listener and is it just oh yeah of course of course that's what we're at We're going down south As south as you can get in this country Tasmania, where we've got Carly

Hello, Carly Hello Hi guys, how are we? We're pretty good How are you, more to the point? I seem to recall we spoke to you not too long ago It was during your breakup bullshit episode, Thierry Yes

Yeah, what a time That feels like years ago now It does, actually You're so much better now, Mitchell You're better or I'm better? You are episode, Cherry. Yes. Yeah. What a time. That feels like years ago now. It does actually. You're so much better now, Mitchell. You're better or I'm better? You are. Oh, thanks. I would agree. Yeah, I agree completely. How are you? Are you feeling better? I'm great. I'm actually really, I'm doing really well. That's good. Oh, I'm so happy. Much more content. And then I seem to recall that you had a new partner that I said, oh, he sounds like a keeper. Yeah, yeah, we're still together.

He's still there. Gorgeous. I love that. That's sweet. Okay, so why don't you hit us with yours? It's just you, and we'll see where you're at, okay? Lovely, thank you. All right, Bradley's going to count you in.

You know how this works. It's not your first rodeo. Yeah, hit us, Kylie. Come on. Is it just me or? Is being content with being alone the best feeling ever? Oh. That's a good one.

That's heavy. I like it. I'm all about the deep and meaningful shit. Let's get stuck into that. Well, I remember my idiom a couple of weeks ago, maybe a month ago, was that I was on that journey trying to find that contentness. Is that a word? Yep.

Being happy. Have you found it, Carly? You sound like you have. Yes. Like, I just thrive in my own company. And I'm at the stage, like, I've been in it in a while. But even though I've got a partner, I'm just at the stage where I'm content with everything. And I just thrive being by myself.

Like, I love it. See, I do like a bit of alone time, but I wouldn't say I thrive when I'm by myself. That's when I'm the biggest pig, honestly. Yeah, but you're good at being alone, Mitch. Like, if I have to look at someone and go, yeah, because I just know you. Because you don't reach out to me. You know me. I said when we stopped getting, you know, nice messages in the DMs, I was like, where

am I? Where's my love and support? Right, okay. You don't strike me as the type that needs that when you're alone. Actually, I don't know if Mitchell surely remembers. He might not. Yeah. But I sent you an Instagram message.

I said to you, I was like, the best thing you can do for yourself right now, and I truly believe this, is just be content with being alone. Don't try to fill your life with people because as soon as you go home, you're going to be alone and it's going to feel even worse. So just be content with being alone because once you do that,

you won't even give a shit about being single. You will just thrive in your own company and having people around will make it even better but you've got to be happy with yourself. Question for you Carly. Are you so fond of your me time that you will often say no to hanging out with your partner because you're like, nah I'd rather be by myself right now?

I literally just got back from a trip by myself. I drove three hours to Hobart by myself for three and a half days. Oh that sounds lovely. I do love a solo road trip sometimes. I was like, see you, mate. Catch up. I love that.

But see, then where I go, because you'd be all right with that, Jenny, you'd be fine with that, right? Yeah. I'd be like, no, I want someone. I want to laugh and play with someone. I prefer to do something like that with someone else, only because when I'm travelling, I hate doing the admin. I want, like, a trip mum to be organising me.

You want an assistant, Mitchell. That's not right. Yeah, yeah. You want staff. I'm talking about, mum to be organising me. You want an assistant, Mitchell. That's not right. Yeah, yeah. You want staff. I'm talking about like friends, Sean, whatever it may be, if it's a trip away. But also, God, the idea of a solo escape right now sounds very appealing.

I see it. But even me and my Euro trip that's booked and I've paid money for, I'm like, who's going to come with me? But now my point is, do I have to work on myself to get to the happy in being lonely stage? Yes. Possibly. Absolutely.

Or do I just admit that I'm a people person? Because could that just be it? Is there a middle ground? I think maybe where I am now. I don't know. But then also I'm thinking about it a lot. Because there's nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with people, but it's when it becomes avoidant.

Like you're trying to distract yourself because you hate being alone because you don't want to confront certain things so you'd rather be around other people to distract yourself from that. Oh, no, that's not me. Because there's nothing wrong with wanting to hang out with people, but it's just the contentness being alone as well, not all the time. It's just more or less thriving in your own company, like being happy with who you are and not trying to fill your life with people that are just going to make you happy temporarily. Carly, I just feel like you're Oprah.

I feel like I'm listening to Oprah and you've got no qualification. Maybe you do, but I'm listening and I'm taking everything you say for Bible. Carly could go bring a bum into a hospital and I go, she's so right. She's so right. She's got a good point. She does. The problem I have, Carly, is that I'm content in my own company, but when I live alone and work from home full time,

it's possible to fucking overdose on me time. I'm just like, Jesus, I haven't spoken to someone in a while. No, that's definitely true. You have your cat though. Oh, fuck, she doesn't speak to me. She does. She just sits in the corner and makes eye contact. Gosh, which reminds me of my ex, actually.

Look at these scratches on my arm. She randomly attacked me out of nowhere the other day. She's unhinged, to be honest. I think it's getting worse, the unhingedness. I love her. Yeah. I mean, I love her, but fuck. Yeah.

She'd be dead if I hadn't adopted her, and this is how she repays me. She would. She was a common street whore. She was. Connie was, too. So was Connie. Both pregnant. All these cats were whores pregnant on the street.

You guys plucked them and saved them. Yeah. Anyway. On that note, Carly, thank you so much for coming back on the show. DM Prizekeeper Jenna and we'll get you another prize. Yeah, nice to hear from you, darling. I'm okay. I don't need another prize.

I'm just, I love chatting to you guys. Like, you're my happy place. You've ascended. You've truly reached. Oh, you can tell, Carly. Nirvana. Yeah, and I'm Jeb. But it's the thin air in Tasmania. You know, she'll get to the mainland and she'll be like, you're my happy place. You've ascended. You've truly reached nirvana. Yeah, and I'm Jeb. But it's the thin air in Tasmania. You know, she'll get to the mainland and she'll be like,

I need dick, I need this, I need that. It's weird because I can't see her and yet I just feel like she's got a twinkle in her eye. I do too. You can just tell from the voice. Absolutely. Good for you. We're happy for you, Kat.

Trust me, I've had enough dick in my life. I've had more than enough. How old are you? I'm 32 next Tuesday. You're only 32 and you're like, nah, I've had enough. I'm just being greedy at this point. Plenty of dick. Anyway, if you want to get in touch, you can DM us a couple of Mitches,

or of course, you can send us a text. Oh, yeah, what's the number again? Oh, the number is... Send us a text. Texas, guys. You know how handy that jingle came in when we were doing the mugvember thing? Why? All the international orders when I was sending it in the little package thing, you have to write the mobile

number of the sender on there. And so I was just like in my head going 0422948202 0422948202 0422948202 0422948202 0422948202 0422948202

0422948202 Alright, it is time to do Not as catchy when I have to put plus six, one, four, two, two, one, four, eight. All right. It is time to do, after a long-awaited break, Mitchell, we didn't even realise we hadn't cleared her out. Poor thing is on antibiotics. I am. She's so infected because she's so full. It's so painful.

It's time for this. Let's take a peek at Jenna's junk, shall we? I'm just getting the sense that today's episode is going to be a fucking rollercoaster. It already is. I didn't realise we were still at the start of the show. What am I trying to say? You can breathe. I'm all out of whack was what I was trying to say.

Have you seen my junk? Did we talk about raffles on today's show? Huh? Me. My junk. Did we? That was like five minutes ago. Was it? Maybe more than that. Alright, poor Jenna. Huh? Me. My junk. Yeah. Did we? That was like five minutes ago. Was it?

Maybe more than that. All right, poor Jenna. Oh, my God, my junk. So Jenna's junk. These are the idioms that don't make the main show. Mitch and I sort of go, they're not worthy of being discussed. They don't have legs. No.

It's just a quick thought that we probably should keep to ourselves, but we don't. We chuck them in Jenna's junk and then they get resurfaced on the podcast. There's so many. All right. There's too many. Clear yourself out. She's jumping right in straight away.

Here we go. Oh, yep, yep. Is it just me or would Taylor Swift make a brilliant serial killer? Oh, that's my thought process there. I would never say such a thing. I would not. I'm not scared of the Swifties because they're children and infants. No, they're not.

And they're all such sooks. I'm not scared of a fight with a Swifty. I just want you to know that you sound really old and deeply uncool by having a grudge against Taylor Swift fans. Just let them be. They don't bother anyone. Why are you so defensive? You sound like a grumpy old fucking man that loves The Current Affair.

Oh, the Swifties. Oh, they're all just 12-year-old girls. No, I just think they're annoying. And you call them infants. Yeah. Tetulant children. I just think they're annoying. And you call them infants. Yeah. Tetchel and children. I just think that Taylor Swift should be a brilliant. She'd be pretty silk, yeah.

Okay, yes. Carry on. Make your point. Oh, boy. Because the little Easter eggs that she hides in her songs, like, God, she's a waste on society. Like, the Zodiac Killer would watch her music videos and go, this is amazing because she just hides things.

So if she actually, we're lucky that she's not fucked in the head because if she used her powers of marketing to be a really good serial killer, we wouldn't, she'd be killing people daily. I often wonder if she would ever manage to do something wrong that makes the public turn on her and she gets cancelled. Because she's pretty, she's not like Britney Spears where other people control her.

She fucking runs that show. Yeah, she does. She's across everything. So for all we know, she's already hiding shit. She's just too smart and keeps it hidden. That's really true. She is very clever. She probably has a million secrets.

Nah, I like her and her music and I respect her fans. Oh, wow. You might get your pants caught in the chain while you're backpedalling over there. No. Okay, okay, okay, here I am. Is it just me or is saying get lost actually very brutal? That's my observation. Get lost.

Get lost. Well, yeah, you know how people will say that as the polite version as opposed to, oh, get fucked. Like the nice way is, oh, get lost. Let's just stop down and really think about what you're saying when you tell someone to get lost. Just think about that. You're telling them to go missing? That's so mean.

That's so true. And think of some of the most famous missing people of the world. Yeah. Like who? I don't know. What's that girl? Maddie McCann. Oh, yeah, Maddie McCann.

That is an awful thing that her family have been put through. What happened in Pride and Deluge? Exactly, and you're wishing that on someone? Well said. It's so scathing when you really boil it down. What are you actually saying? Just reword it and it will give it more clarity. Go missing.

I don't know if that's better or worse. Get kidnapped. But having said that, maybe it's not a permanent loss. It could be like sometimes I get fucking lost in Westfield. Yes. It's only 20 minutes. I go, shit, which car park? That is a get lost.

That's a little bit inconvenient. Get lost in Westfield. Doesn't have the same ring to it. Get lost is nice. Just the thought of getting lost in Westfield makes me like so claustrophobic grow up is another one because there's nothing you can do yeah you can't you can't do it you know what i've always found really scathing what you're a fool why it's so brutal and severe like if you told me oh you're a dickhead you're a fuckwit, whatever, that's fine. But you're a fool.

It's just like, oh, wow, that's a lot. Yeah, it's pretty intense. I don't use you're a fool. I use grow up. You're a joke. I love using grow up. Yeah, you're a joke. Yeah.

You're a joke. That's not very nice. You're a joke. All these things that are, like, considered more polite because they're not swearing are actually pretty evil when you think about it. Yeah, you break them down. They're awful. All right, jumping in. Not back in pretty evil. Yeah, I agree. When you think about it. When you break them down, they're awful. All right, jump on in. Not back in the junk.

Yeah, I need to. You can fit two hands these days. Fuck me. Good for you. Shut up. Is it just me or should it be socially acceptable to wear socks and slides anywhere? Oh, that's me again. Yeah, I agree with you.

Socks and slides. I used to think, oh, gross, socks and slides, but now I'm all about it. It's very American, isn't it? I've never tried it. What would American people call it? You know, the whole thong thing? Is there confusion or is it socks and slides wherever? I think it's slides.

Okay. They call it flip-flops, don't they? Yeah, but that's with the little thing. The little bungee cord. No, you're right. I think they call them slides. Yeah, socks and slides. Yeah.

So I used to just wear slides, but then they started giving me like a bit of a blister if I wore them too much over summer. And so I started putting the socks on as well. And then over winter, it was warmer that way. And I've gotten really used to it. It's so comfy, so convenient. And I try not to wear them everywhere because I feel like I should be able to.

But when I go to Pilates classes, right, it's a five-minute walk or whatever from my place. I'm like, I be able to. But when I go to Pilates classes, right, it's a five-minute walk or whatever from my place. I'm like, I'll just chuck on some slides because I do the class barefoot anyway. I'll just slide them off. I got a message on Facebook. Someone said, I just saw you walking down the street in socks and slides and you're lucky I didn't clip you with my fucking mirror

because they are disgusting. How could you wear socks and slides in public? How embarrassing. I'm like, no, I'm all for it. I hate when people judge like that. Grow up. They were only stirring me up. They did to someone who is, for whatever reason,

so adverse to socks and slides. I used to be, but now I'm fucking all about it. Team socks and slides. I'm a clogs boy. I have like three pairs of clogs. What are they again? Like the German shoes. Dutch, thank you.

Made of wood. No, none of them are made of wood. They're made of rubber. Oh, so they're Crocs. Yeah, they're Crocs. I've got Crocs and I've got another pair that are just like tan, yeah. Do you wear socks with them? Yeah, sometimes, yeah. They're really comfy. Yeah, see? Yeah. It's so much easier. I love it. It's fashion. It's not as in fashion like

Kanye had the whole socks and slides thing so it was a real moment, but that's past. Oh, I didn't realise that's already been a moment. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's moment in fashion is gone. Fuck me. Every time I think I'm starting a new trend, I find out that it's already a thing.

Remember how I thought I was a genius for using a shoelace as a belt? And you were like, no, that's the trend. That's high fashion. Mitch called me the other day. He went, I've invented the hoop skirt. I went, no, Mitch, I think you need to. I'm pretty adamant that I invented the Kmart laundry hamper hack. What?

Because people have started buying there's a whole TikTok trend about it. People have been buying the Kmart laundry hampers and using it as their bins because it looks more stylish than having a bin on display in the house. I thought of that and I was like, what if I got a laundry hamper because then it won't be a fugly

bin on display. I saw this on your Instagram. And then you ruined it. Well, no, that's a whole other story. But the what if I got a laundry hamper? Because then it won't be a fugly bin. I saw this on your Instagram. And then you ruined it. Well, no, that's a whole other story. But the point is I got it and I thought it was a genius idea. And then someone visits me and goes, oh, you did the Kmart TikTok hack. And I was like, the fucking what now? I didn't know it was already a thing. I thought I invented it.

I don't think you did. See, I think I'm a genius. And then people tell me, no, it's a thing. Many, many, many have thought of it before you. Totally. Just like the name Is It Just Me for a podcast. We found out that there's 40,000 of those. We're due for a refresh, actually.

Yeah, actually. For the new ones. Oh, fuck me. You just scratched me up very abruptly. Okay, is it just me or do you think Jenna is Hunger Games coded? Oh, that's me for sure. Yeah, I've never even seen Hunger Games. You've never seen Hunger Games?

No. Mitchell! There's no need to shout at me, mate. Mitchell, you'd love it. Get lost. Why would I love it? Because it's so you. You love Jennifer Lawrence.

Please explain why you think it's so me, because I don't think it's me at all. Because you love that shit. What shit? You just love a cult moment. You love a franchise. You do. You love Harry Potter. Presidents know. Presidents know you love it. It you just love a cult moment. You love like a franchise. You do. You love Wicked. You love Harry Potter.

Presidents know. You do. Presidents know. You love it. It's camp. It's gay. It's like a love story. I didn't watch any of Game of Thrones.

Peter's brain. No, it's got nothing to do with Game of Thrones. It's set in the future. I know, but everything you said, oh, it's culty. It's blah, blah, blah. Like, no, that's not me. Right. I think you would love it.

Mitchell, it's literally 12 people enter an arena and they all have to fight to the death. Yeah. That doesn't interest me at all. No, I understand. But I think you would when you watch it. There's a new one out, Mocking Jay of the Fire Day or something. Anyway, why is it a prequel? Because, Jenna,

it's set in the future and there are characters called capital citizens. What are they called? They live in the capital and there are characters called capital citizens. What are they called? They live in the capital. They're just normal people. Already lost interest. And they all dress in extravagant clothing and they're all just extra.

They've all got pink hair and they're all in lace and gaudy outfits. But I just feel like Jenna is Hunger Games coded because they go to the different districts and pluck women and boys and children out, put them in the Hunger Games at random. It's like the Olympic Games, but they all won. I was going to say, so far the fashion doesn't really match, Jenny. You said, oh, pink hair, really elaborate. I'm like, no. No, I can just see it.

Anyway. Is it the same ponytail for 40 years? Mitchell, they're random. They're random kids put into an arena to fight to the death. Yes. And none of them have any training. Yeah, right. I feel Jenna would be primed to be an assassin.

She wouldn't need training. No, I would love that. You'd be great. What do you think your tactic would be? Would you be a forager? Would you hide? I would hide. Yeah.

I would hide. How? Camouflage? Tree climbing? Everything. Interesting. Yeah. And Mitch, this is the part that you like.

The kids get sponsors. So you're obviously, with your influence life, you could be in there. Then Purina would send you a package. And they fall from the sky in a little balloon. And they go, my sponsor. And they get gifts. But you obviously get a- That's just my life every day.

Oh, I'm all free shit. Poor Mitt. Yeah, it is. It seriously is. But no one's dying. You'd be in there. Then an Emma mattress would fucking fall from the sky and land on your competition. You'd be like, there you go.

Didn't have to kill that twink. I'd get fucking frozen meals full and knock some bitch out. Thanks, Every Plate. I'd get cat food. You'd get cat food. Every Plate aren't even frozen meals. Oh, who do I work with? God, you're the worst client ever.

Who am I working with coming up? Oh, Spotlight. I'll get fucking 10 metres of twine. Thanks, Spotlight. And it kind of goes off. It goes. Yeah 10 metres of twine. Thanks spotlight! And it kind of goes off. It goes and then a sponsor, and then when someone dies, they go

the fallen. I gotta tell you, I'm drastically less tempted to watch after this description. It sounds stupid. What happens to Katniss? She gets stung by a bee, then like birds be sponsor or something and they drop like wax. Don't give a shit about fucking spears and lords and fucking Lord of the Rings wizards and all that.

I don't give a fuck. You're not listening. There's no wizard. There's not one wizard. If it's not Real Housewives of Sydney, don't talk to me. Well, it's similar drama level. Yeah. All right, Jenna.

I just think you do very well and I'd sponsor you. Oh, I would agree with that. Good luck. All right, back into the junk, please. No, that's not the bin. Sorry, that was the junk, please. No, that's not the bin. Sorry, that was the wrong... Sorry. Jenna, what did you just touch?

You just got Bradley excited. Sorry. You touched the wrong spot. What have I done? Fuck me. Sorry, sorry. There we go. Bin's open.

Quick, grab the junk. I mean... Is it just me or do streaming apps need to get their shit together? Mine. You've spoken about this last week. What do you mean? You said all the streaming apps need to get their shit together? Mine. You've spoken about this last week. What do you mean? You said all the streaming apps need to up their contrast because they can't see the TV in the sun.

Is that what I'm about to say now, is it? No, I'm just saying you spoke about streaming apps previously. I think you've doubled up on topics a few times. Are you dating someone at the moment? Have you lost 40 kilos? Oh. What do you mean? Heaven fucking forbid I talk about streaming apps again. This is a different point. Okay, so. I'm seeing someone at the moment. Have you lost 40 kilos? Oh. What do you mean? Heaven fucking forbid I talk about streaming apps again.

This is a different point. Okay, so. I'm listening. I just think that especially Paramount Plus. Oh. I don't have that. They don't have the skip intro option. They don't have the skip recap.

All their shows have the previously on Womba Womba. They don't have the skip end credits option. And it always seems to just fucking forget where I'm up to if you go to the continue watching. I hate that. You've got AI. If you're going to be copying Netflix, do it properly. Are they copying Netflix? Well, they all are

anyway. You know how it all is very similar. Netflix is like the OG. They kind of look the same, like all the interfaces and stuff. Netflix has done the best. The UI is lovely. And they let you skip the OG. Of course. They kind of look the same, like all the interfaces and stuff. Netflix has done the best. Yeah. The UI is lovely. Yeah. And they let you skip the credits.

Actually, in fact, they give you a five-second countdown to choose whether you want to watch the credits. Yes, they do. It's no choice otherwise. It's amazing. Yeah. Paramount Plus don't do that. Binge also forget where I'm up to a lot.

I hate that. They were like, continue watching. And I'm like, I've never watched Paw Patrol. Who the fuck do I count? Where did that Real Housewives of Sydney episode go? You're kidding, really? Yes. And they are convinced that I want to keep watching Harry Potter.

I'm like, I've never played that. Have you left your Netflix logged in in an Airbnb? Perhaps, because I've done that. And then a Portuguese family moved in and then started watching telenovelas on my account. Like, continue watching The Battle for Bravia. It happens to me a lot. I don't know how many people I've given my passwords to. Oh, Sam, I get them for free.

Blessed. But, you know, I think we all get free streaming services, right? No, I don't get them for free. I get them as in, like, I pay for a couple of my friends, pay for a couple of me leech. I don't get them for free. Oh. Yeah. Well, it's because I work in the media.

That's why. I do, too. It's because I work in radio. So that's why. Oh, back in the junk. Yep. Go. I'm back. How much junk does she have up there? radio, so that's why. Back in the junk. Go. I'm back. How much junk does she have up there?

Oh, there's so much. Is it just me or did your mum always end up at the children's table at Christmas lunch? Oh, that's me. Is this a universal experience? Christmas, my mum, you know, busting her ass off in that kitchen with Nan. Nan does the dishes. Mum does all the cooking. And, like, she'd serve and everyone would come up and get their food and they'd go, you know, get their food.

Sit at the table. And the table was all dressed beautifully and it was the main dining table for the adults. And then the kids had, like, a trestle table at the end. It was always that IKEA green one with the fat, chunky legs and the stools. And it had a white tablecloth over it. And then I'd be sitting there, you know, chowing down on my dry turkey and stuffing. And I'd turn to my right and there'd be sitting there, you know, chowing down on my dry turkey and stuffing, and I'd turn to my right,

and there'd be mum just, like, hunched over a stool. And I'd be like, mum, what are you doing here? She's like, don't worry. She had a tea towel over her shoulder. I barely got time. And she's pissed off because Lachlan, my cousin, brought his new bitch girlfriend, and she's sitting where mum normally sits at the main table.

Because he has no respect. And I bet Lachlan didn't tell her that he was bringing a plus one. Yeah, no, of course not. Not to Christmas. Otherwise she would have gotten another chair out of the garage. Thank you. Yeah. Do you understand? That's mean.

My mum would always end up at the kids' table. And we'd love it because mum's fun. And she'd have a wine and we'd be like, mum's here. And you'd be like, oh, can I try some of your drink? She goes, no, it's yucky. You wouldn't like it. Yes. Lies.

Sour. Yeah, I know. Or did you ever have this experience where you'd have like the politics around your family dining table were next level? No. I also don't even have any memories sitting at a kid's table. I'm sure we might have, but I don't remember. Really?

No, he was tactically. Where's Mark Turi in all of this? The head. Is he not helping Michelle serve and cook and stuff? No, Dad's the wine guy. So Dad does drinks for everyone. The easiest part. It's very traditional.

I do it all the time. But when it's free wine, my family's very traditional. The women are in the kitchen. The men are at the table. By the way, random thought I just had. Speaking of getting scent-free shit, finally, your father fucking coughed up. I got yellowtail. I'm going to save it for our final episode of the year.

Yay! Some sparkling yellowtail cocktails. I know. He was asking me for your address constantly. Anyway, sorry, we're talking about the politics of the table. No, no, I'm just saying this Christmas. It sounds like your mum is sitting at the kids' table because she was too frantic serving everyone.

Correct. So by the time she came out with her plate, everyone was almost done and everyone was at the table and she had nowhere to sit but the kids' table. Well, I think someone should be helping her because I've not had that experience because Ian's very hands-on himself. I'd like to say I am too, but I truly am not.

I'd be hands-on. Would you? No, I just don't think, I don't provide that. Like, I'll get up at the table and start singing and, you know, making a speech about love. Singing? Yeah. Oh, you would sing.

I would. You know what I'd sing? Well, of course, it's Christmas. So there'd be one song that I'd sing. I would. You know what I'd sing? Well, of course, it's Christmas. So there'd be one song that I'd sing. What? My Christmas song is very straightforward, and it's quite simply this. Oh. I go, hello, family, gather round.

Children's table, put your drinks down. I sound like Donald Trump. I don't know why my inflection's like this. But I'd turn up and I'd go, welcome, family. Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. Welcome everybody. Feliz Navidad. You know who's going to have an awkward Christmas this year?

Nat Bass. Why? Well, she's got a new gay girlfriend. How awkward? I don't know, but she's got kids and an ex-husband. What's wrong with that? I'm sure she's nervous. By all accounts, the girlfriend is not new and the ex-husband is very supportive. Yes. True.

They're both drummers, her ex-husband and her new girlfriend. Are you serious? Yeah. There you go. Well, take that back. Nat's got to be having a lovely Christmas. Back in. You're shocking me.

You're jumping. It's jarring. I need it. Is it just me or a baby shower's bizarre? That's mine. I was going to say, I didn't put that in there. God, that's an old. I don't think I've been to one.

Mitchell, we haven't dug in her junk for so long. That is like, I think Hayden had that thought. No, I went to one on this weekend, this past weekend. Hang on. Am I getting this twisted or is baby showers the sort of thing that the mother might only invite women to? Yes. How the fuck did you cop an invite? What was my agent?

A baby shower is bizarre. Bizarre. Yes, because A, anyone can fucking go. It doesn't have to just be women. B, no water involved. Ain't any showering happening. That baby's still in the womb. You should do it after the baby's born so everyone can get photos with it.

But sure. It's too hectic. It is hectic. True. I think you better be showering her with gifts. That's it. That's how it works. Oh, I'll try to get a bonnet.

What? And then you don't know the gender of the baby. So I go, do you have gender neutral bonnets? And she kind of went, so all bonnets are gender neutral. I went, good point. Yeah, that's true. So I got a yellow one with bumblebees on it. It was so cute.

It was made of bamboo. So the baby's heads get quite hot, I learned. So anyway, I bought that. It was cheap. I rock up and I walk in, you know, and I walk in and there's a lot of ladies. I go, God, there's a lot of women here. Feminine energy. This is my dream. I see a little toddler, a little brat looks at me and she goes, you're not supposed to be here. And I said, listen here. Oh, isn't she funny? All the mums laughed and they all dispersed and I went up to Wira and I went, if you want to make it through the day, you won't look at me again. That's what I said. You went up to her and said, you're not supposed to be here either. You were a fucking accident.

Get out of my face, Trixie. Get lost. I said, I'll get the baby shell and I'll get the head and I'll waterboard you with it. I love how you talk such a big game on the podcast but you would have been so nice. You want to know the truth? Yeah.

I'm going to my camera roll. Oh my god, you got a fucking selfie with her. She's so cute. She's so cute. In that moment, was there part of you

that thought, I'm going to be making jokes about waterboarding this bitch? No, I didn't. No, I didn't. I didn't. But the fucking spread was good. Anyway, then an auntie comes up to didn't. I didn't. But the fucking spread was good.

Anyway, then an auntie comes up to me and she goes, are you allowed to be here? And I went, yes, I have awful, awful anal sex that you'd be terrified of. So that's why I'm allowed to be here, Nancy. What? Because I'm gay. Talking a big game. I'm gay. I have anal sex.

No, did you? No. I mean, there's no way you would have said that. I'll FaceTime you tomorrow. Friday's my day. No. Friday is actually my day. Is it?

Yep. Okay. It's penciled in, so to speak. When? 3 p.m. Now, when did I ask? Oh, sorry. I thought you were probing.

Hell no. It's not Friday. Okay, I'll do one more. Okay, that's all we have time for. Is it just me or is it about fucking time we had PowerPoints on planes? Yeah. We do. Nah.

Yes. Not the fucking Virgin Airlines flights that I take to get in a state for me shows. No, not domestically, but internationally they've got plugs. I don't even think I've experienced that. Isn't it just like the USB thing? No, they've got like, it depends who you fly with. Like Emirates, the fancy ones do. Oh, I can't afford that.

No, nor could I, but the fancy ones do. I don't think, who did we fly with when we did the Contiki shit? Etihad. Etihad. I always get confused. Etihad and Emirates. As do you. I famously don't do that.

Oh, yeah. You got in trouble and plugged in the wrong sponsor. No, I didn't do that. Yeah, that was funny. And the CEO to Emirates was listening. Yeah. Because they sponsored my show and I said, congratulations, you're being flown. Etihad.

Not good. And it was Emirates. I don't think I've ever been on a plane that just has a flat out PowerPoint. Which is very tricky because I often use the flight time to edit this fucking podcast. And the laptop goes flat real quick with that editing software, Jenny, you know. Oh, I know. Totally. Yep. I can imagine. And even if they have the

USB port, that's not going to work for a MacBook. No, it's not. No, no, no, no. And I just think, come on, no. It's not. Yeah. And I just think, come on, dogs. What are they using to boil the fucking kettles for the complimentary tea and coffee? That's actually really true. PowerPoint's no doubt.

Chuck a few more in. Give us an extension cord. Yeah. I'm with you. You know, it kind of freaks me out that planes are run on petrol. Like, they're just a car. It is weird that it's all run on petrol, don't you think? Like, my head's like, it's flying.

Electricity, magic. It's petrol. Frightens me. Does it? No. I just wanted to add a point. Yeah, okay. PowerPoints.

Just things I should change about airlines. It's more the direction I would have gone if I didn't put this in the junk. All right. But he's just going, petrol. How spooky. That's scary. It belongs in the junk. All right. But he's just going, petrol. How spooky. That's scary. It belongs in the junk. Is it just me on the fly?

Or. Oh, I get it. Fly. Yeah. Well done. Yeah, jet. Fly like a plane. We got a jet.

I feel like movies and TV shows set on a plane always give it so much more room. Oh, I know. Like I watched Hijack with Idris Elba. And I'm like, there are five people sitting in that row. I try to go to the bathroom on a Jetstar flight and I fucking get eaten out by Nancy in 12C. Imagine trying to actually film someone on a normal Virgin Airline flight, a domestic one, like trying to film them.

It would be the fattest close-up. You couldn't get a camera behind any of those seats. That's such a good point. The show would be terrible. It would be everyone's nostril. And then all it would take would be dickheads sitting in front of you at a recline is cheering up. You've blocked the shot, mate.

Totally. I'm with you. All right, bring PowerPoints to planes. Yeah, I can't believe they haven't thought of it yet. All these genius ideas that I think of, like the Kmart bin. Yeah. The shoelace belt. All of it.

PowerPoints on planes. Now everyone's going to say to me, no, they haven't. Bull bin. Yeah. The shoelace belt. Yep. All of it. PowerPoints on planes. Now everyone's going to say to me, no, they haven't. Bullshit. No. For once, I'm on the front foot. Is that a thing? That's not a thing. No.

What is it? Back foot. No. No. That doesn't sound right. For once, I'm on the back burner. No. Because if I'm on the front foot, I mean, like, I'm getting in early.

I thought of it before every other dickhead. Yeah, you're on the front foot. Thank you. Yeah, but what's the early. I thought of it before every other dickhead. Yeah, you're on the front foot. Thank you. Yeah, but what's the front foot and what's the back foot? There's no back foot. Thank you. Well, yeah, because we're not horses. We've just got front feet.

True. That's a good point. Yeah. We're not centaurs. See, all circles back to the ham. Four legs, one ham. I think I've seen that porn. What do you reckon makes the green eggs green in Green Eggs and Ham?

You know what? That's a good point. It is Wonka World, isn't it? Eh? What's Wonka World? Wonka World. No, it's Dr. Seuss. Oh, it's Dr. Seuss.

Yeah, that's Roald Dahl, Dahl. That's funny. Roald Dahl, Dahl. That's Roald Dahl. Honey! Sorry, I'm on the shitter and I'm out of Roald Dahl, Dahl. That's Roald Dahl. Honey! Sorry, I'm on the shitter and I'm out of Roald Dahl. Is it just me? The rude shocks of young adulthood.

All right, are we ready to get the results of our eBay listings, Mitchell and Jenna? Our auction off. Our auction off. Our auction off. Yeah, it wasn't a competition. That's not why we did it in the first place. Big for yourself, dickhead. Don't put words in my mouth. Fine, okay.

It was a competition. I was determined to destroy you because we put our pots up on eBay. There they are. The results of our pottery class during Hobby Hunt. They're right here in front of me. Correct. They won't be here for much longer. No, we auctioned them off. Yes, and the auction

has ended. So we have two winners, I suppose. Correct. Not much of a prize, but they also get the joy of donating the money they spent to a charity. We're not profiting off them. Correct. Pots for charity. All the money that they spend will be donated to a charity of their choosing.

So should we find out who came in as runner up? Oh, runner up as in like. As in they didn't go for as much. Because they both sold. The loser. So the shit pot. No, no, no, no.

Well, one's a pot, one is a mug. So they're very different items, very different uses. It's still bold calling yours a mug. I reckon we just call this person and they can tell us whose mug or item. Because I seriously, you've not told me anything. I don't know who won or what the amount is at all. Let's call our first idiot and congratulate them on the win and they can tell us exactly what they bid on.

Do you even know their name? This is Jennifer and we're calling Perth. Okay. Hello. Hi, Jennifer. Welcome to the show. Hi. Hello.

Hi, Jennifer. Hi. Now, Jennifer, you, congratulations. We can rule the Idjim Mallet, which is blue, pink and yellow. And we can say that you have won the auction. Congratulations. Well done. Thank you.

Highlight of my year. Yes. Congratulations. It was very exciting. So why don't, Mitch doesn't know, I do, of course. But why don't you tell Mitch what you purchased? Well, first tell me the price. Oh yeah, okay.

Well, I can say, I've got the price in front of me, Jennifer. This item at auction sold for a history making $202.50. Oh! What did you bid on, Jennifer? I bid on... Trudy's little cute miniature cup. Oh! Wow!

Congrats! Wow! So that means, sorry, not to get distracted, but I am taking from that that I won. I don't know how much buy, though. Well, there you go, Jennifer. You've got this gorgeous little ramekin-looking thing. We'll send that off to you. Jennifer.

Congratulations. Thank you so much. Well done. Do you drink coffee? I do. I'm actually a barista. Oh, perfect. I'll send you a little pic. Yeah, please. This is perfect. Oh my god, you actually should. That'd be adorable. Because baristas know, like, for a good latte or a cap, you don't actually need

that much froth milk, and this is perfect for a double shot and then some steamed milk. Definitely, like a little long mac or something. Yeah, yeah, like a piccolo. Or a baby chino. No, it's not that small. It's not that small. Jennifer, firstly, thank you for bidding.

That's out of the kindness of your owner. Are you feeling a little bit ripped off, like $200? Yes, it's going to charity, but $200 for this, really? Well, I started the bidding when it was at, like, I think $160, and I was like, yeah, that should be fine. And then it got out of hand. And then you were like, motherfuckers, they keep outbidding me. I want it now.

I know. I was like, well, I'm already in it, so I have to win it, don't I? You got addicted. Well, you did win $202.50. Wow, that's amazing. That is wild. Well, Jennifer, we want to know where and what charity do you want this cash to go to? Because we will donate it on your behalf in your name.

Yes. So it's going to the Trans Folk of WA. Oh, I love that. I love that so much. That's amazing. Just Googling Trans Folk of WA, you said? Yeah, Trans Folk of WA. Oh, beautiful.

That's a worthy cause. It's very worthy. It should be like T's a worthy cause. It's very wordy. It should be like T-F-O-W-A. Yeah. That's still a bit wordy, but that's fine. I said worthy, darling. It's all right. It's not wordy.

It's beautiful. Oh, congratulations. Yeah, well done. We'll donate that money. A peer support service for transgender people and their loved ones in Western Australia. Love that. I love it. $200, although we usually round up.

Yeah. Well, I say we just match it, Mitch. Yeah, I'm happy to match it. Let's match it. For the trans folk of WA. I agree. $405. Wow, that's a nice number.

Yeah. Did you do that maths in your head? Yeah, well, it's $250 doubled. That was kind of hot. I could have done that. Jennifer, you agree? I agree, yes. it's $202.50 doubled. That was kind of hot. I couldn't have done that. Jennifer, you agree? I agree, yes. Good math. $405 going to the Transfolk

of Western Australia. Jennifer, we love you. We'll send your... We're going to bubble wrap it so delicately. I've got leftover bubble wrap from the Mugbember thing, so don't worry. I'll take good care of this. Yes. Thank you so much. I'm so excited. Alright right. Thanks for listening. Thank you for coming on the show.

Isn't she a sweetheart? Oh, so lovely. Oh, that was so lovely. Oh, my God. Let's now call. Yes, you won. It fucking blows my mind that it went for that much. Crazy.

Like, if it weren't for the charity element, I would feel bad because I'm like, it's not worth that much. Well, it's not. But also, you know, we made it. We touched it. Our fingerprints are in this. She could get our DNA. She could clone us in five to ten years. I don't think you get your DNA in there. I think you do.

Alright, we're now calling Laney. This is going to the Hunter Valley. Now, not the band, the hip-hop group Laney. This is Laney in Hunter Valley. Hello. Hi, guys. Hello. Hello, Laney. Listen, I've done the maths and I've figured out

that you won my pottery. I did. Oh, you lucky bitch. Well you won my pottery. I did. Oh, you lucky bitch. Well done, Lainey. Well done. It's stunning if I do say so myself. Yeah.

I did bet on both. Oh. It just so happened that I won Coombs' bowl. Got it. So it's not that it was the better item, Mitch. It was just, it was luck. Well, it's because the bids were getting out of hand. The price was going up and up and she goes, well, I can't be stupid and buy both, but

if I'm going to put money towards any of them, the obvious choice is Mitchell Coombs. I get it, Lainey. I get it. Lainey, you've done well. It's gorgeous. Officially, bidding is closed and we can reveal that the price Mitch's handmade bowl from Hobby Hunt sold for was close to the mug. $215.

Oh, wow, that was close. Oh, wow. Very close. Oh, wow. Oh, thank you, Lainey. That's gorgeous. No, my pleasure. I was actually quite surprised to have won it

because the day before the auction finished, I lost my phone and then I was at work all day. So it was only when I got home at 10.30 at night and checked my emails and saw that I'd won it. Oh, there you go. Did you have the auto bid thing set up? I think I had a maximum bid of, I think, $240. But because nobody, like the next one, yeah, it finished at $215. I was worried

we were going to get some idiot dummy bidders but yeah all good wow $215 that was really close Mitch you made it sound like

I flogged you landslide no no it was very close and you know yours is you've got more uses for yours

mine's just a little piccolo yeah as far as bang for your butt goes Lainey there's more clay involved with mine so you're actually

getting more yeah if you ever wanted to melt it down. Mitch is true. Because Mitch broke his on the pottery wheel, that's why he's left with this little chode thing. Do you remember Slovenia came over and just like- Uganda aggressively came over and threw the excess clay and just moulded it back to something for me.

She's so fed up. Yeah. When I went to pick them up- She was trying so hard to explain to you in very clear detail how to fix it. She goes, oh, fuck this. It's beyond repair. I've got to get in there. It's as much Uganda's explain to you in very clear detail how to fix it. She goes, oh, fuck this. It's beyond repair. I've got to get in there.

It's as much a gun as a cup as it is money. She threw the clay. It was awful. All right. What charity do you want to donate to, Lainey? I'd like to donate the money to the Westpac Rescue Helicopter. They do heaps of really good work. Yeah, totally.

Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, the Westpac Rescue Chopper. Beautiful. Let's do that. Yeah, totally. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, the Westpac Rescue Chopper. Beautiful. Let's do that. I love that. Well, I hope the Westpac Rescue Chopper changes its colours to yellow, blue and pink to celebrate. They're getting pretty close. What are they?

They're red and white, aren't they? Oh, yeah. Oh, they're red. Oh, they've got yellow. Oh, yeah. If they just let the chopper fade in the sun for a bit, it would be us. It's true. Or if it fell into the ocean, it would be our colours and came out, of course.

Well, congratulations, Lainey. We'll donate that on your behalf. And we can announce that we will match the donation. Oh, that's awesome. I was going to say, we match the last person. Are we doing the same? Yeah, we are. Terry's made the call.

So $215, that'll be matched to $430. Holy shit. Wow. I was in the middle of typing it into the calculator on Google. Look at me. Wow. Maybe I'm not all mush brain and good looks. All right, L. Wow. I was in the middle of typing it into the calculator on Google. Hey, look at me. Wow. Maybe I'm not all mush brain. Mathematician.

Good looks. All right, Lainey, thank you for buying. We'll post that out to your stat. Thanks, Lainey. No worries. Thank you so much. Hey, Hunter Valley, by the way, can I ask? That's not far from Newcastle.

Are you going to be coming to my Newcastle comedy show next year? Oh, 100%. I will be there. Good girl. I'll make sure that I let you know when the tickets are on sale. They're not yet. That might even be one that I go to. I'd love a little winery trip. I was going to say, Lainey, bring

the bowl and I'll sign it, but I've already done that. I'll sign it again somewhere else. Do you want me to sign it, Lainey? Nah. The silence is definite. Of course. No worries. Alright, Lainey. Great to have you. She's being picked up. We've organised it. The helicopter is here to take her back. See you, Lainey. All right, Lainey. Great to have you. She's being picked up. We've organised it.

The helicopter is here to take her back. See you, Lainey. See you, Lainey. Thank you, darling. Thank you. See you. See you, Lainey. Oh, this segment is so sweet.

I love it. There she goes. She's gone. She forgot her wallet. Sorry, Lainey. There it is. There you go. I'll throw it up to you.

It was so sweet. I did love it. No, we did. That was beautiful and wholesome. What a sweetheart. So lovely. What can we sell next on eBay? I'm overselling.

Mitch, your fingers are dry and chapped from posting labelling stickers. And you think that that's on the same level as you having done one ukulele and two mugs that you haven't even packed yet? No, I also run eBay. No, also the ukulele I sent. Jenna sent it. Oh, my God. Actually, no, do you know what happened?

I remember I left it to you to send and then you delegated to Jenna and Jenna delegated to the receptionist. I was like, wow, I really just have to do it all myself. Yeah. I really should have done it myself. You should have. Yeah. I've got their addresses on eBay.

I'll send them to you. Oh, for fuck's sake. Thank you. Also, is it just me on the fly or is eBay done? It's had its moment. Yeah, I'll send them to you. Oh, for fuck's sake. Thank you. Also, is it just me on the fly or is eBay done? It's had its moment. Yeah, I agree. We did have a chat before we put these pots up for sale. Should we list them elsewhere?

But we just never landed on anything and we went ahead with eBay. Is it anywhere else? I don't know. I hate to be annoying, but out of that $202 and the $215, we lose so much to eBay fees. It's like 20%. eBay just takes the money. It's wild. You could do Depop, but then there's Depop fees as well's like 20%. eBay just takes the money. It's wild.

You could do Depop, but then there's Depop fees as well. Yeah. I actually don't know what you do. Can you bid on Facebook Marketplace? No, but there's no bidding. You can't bid. Gum tree. Gum, they have fees too.

We should just put it in Enduring Idiots and said, for God's sake, just comment what you want. Comment how much you want. That's not how it works. No. No. Okay. All right. Sorry.

Dumb. Back to eBay. We'll cop the fees. It's fine. It's. No. No. Okay. Alright, sorry. Dumb, back to eBay. We'll cop the fees. It's fine. It's for charity. I agree. Shall we go? Yeah, I think so. Good idea. Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll catch you Monday? Yes, we will. Correct. Oh, God. My brain's going to fucking mush.

That's fine. When do we do this shit again? We'll see you on Monday, idiots. Love you. Bye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to A to Debrief. This is our

secret segment on the end. We pretend the show's done, but it's not. This is our secret segment on the end. We pretend the show's done, but it's not. This is getting out of control, this one. I actually really love these episodes. It's very manic. Yeah. Well, I don't feel that manic generally, but I can easily be fucking lit.

If everyone else is manic, I'm like, righto, I'll join you. Yeah. Yeah, I think the manic energy adds, it's nice, and it's like a Wednesday episode. I think we're allowed to be manic. Yeah. Oh, because we've never been manic on a Monday. What's that song?

Imagine if we were guaranteeing what mood we were offering in an episode. We're like, manic Monday. And then we come in and go, I'm just not feeling manic, actually. Oh, that's a bit. That's like when you talk a big game and you like come over and we'll have some fun. And then it's like, I just want to sleep. Yeah. Spontaneity is what it's about.

Yeah, it's all about that. What could the Wednesday episodes be? A mood-wistful Wednesday. This Wednesday could be nice. Can't think of anything else beginning with W. Woeful Wednesday. Windy Wednesday. Wretched Wednesday.

Does that have a silent W? Yeah, no. Wretched is W. Wretched Wednesday. Wicked Wednesday. We've done that. Yeah, we did do that. I do like W? Yeah, no. Wretched is W. Yeah. Wretched Wednesday. Yeah, yeah. Wicked Wednesday. We've done that. Yeah, we did do that.

I do like Wicked. Wet Wednesday. We just get Jenna in a white T-shirt and spray her with a hose. Every time she makes a joke, we spray her with a super soaker. She won't get any drops on her then if it's every time she makes a joke. Imagine if Jenna just had like this beautiful. True. I just want to picture Jenna, like Photoshop Jenna onto like this gorgeous wet tit body.

Why? Just for fun. Some things are okay to stay as that. Why do you want that? I just want to Photoshop Jenna onto a gorgeous tit body. Titted body. On your VR headset. No, no.

No, no, no. Are you bringing that in for me next time? Next week. I have to. Actually, I can't promise it. Why? Because it's in my. No, no, no. Are you bringing that in for me next time? Next week. I have to, actually, I can't promise it. Why? Because it's in my, my house is packed up. I'm still living out of two suitcases with mum and dad.

It's in my like deep storage. Because when I moved back in. You've got a whole fucking week. When I moved back in with mum and dad, I said, I'm not going to need VR. So I put it deep, deep, deep down with the kitchen stuff. You've got 168 hours to look for it. I'm sure you'll know which. Well, I had to Google that.

I'm not good at maths like you. Wow. I just went 24 times 7. I love that I got two equations done quickly and now I'm good at maths. I just didn't know that you had that in you. I'm good at addition but nothing else. Oh, yeah, right. No, but that was multiple.

You were multiplying. It was only a times two. Times two, but also I just added them together. What if we were going to match the price of the pots, but like not just once, so we're going to double it twice. So times three. Oh, yeah. That's easy.

You just triple it. So what's the answer? 607. I can't even remember the starting price. You're probably right. What was it again? 20250. Okay. See, I can't tell you if you're right or wrong because I can't even remember the starting price. You're probably right. What was it again? $202.50. Okay.

See, I can't tell you if you're right or wrong because I don't know. I can't figure that out. I've already forgotten. I believe you. He did a... $607.50. I'm like young Sheldon. Not adult Sheldon.

Young Sheldon. No, no. I have the aptitude of a kid. The emotional intelligence of a toddler. I've not seen young Sheldon. No, no, I have the aptitude of a kid. The emotional intelligence of a toddler. I've not seen young Sheldon. Nor have I, but I love making jokes about him. And I also love making jokes about... Matty McCann, Pirate of the Rouge.

Oh, yes, yes. No. You've just got a very small pool of go-to references. It gets cleaned out every few months, the pool. The reason that I use Matty McCann this week is because someone said, I make jokes about it every week week so now I'm going to. Yeah, no. It was something I'd noticed. Not enough to bring up

but I'm like, God, that's got to be at least the fourth time he's mentioned Maddie McCann. Oh, no, more than four. You reckon? Yeah, definitely. Oh, who cares? I mean, I care. Finder. You don't care about Maddie? That's the most... Imagine if that was the plea. Who cares?

No, no, no. But that was the weakest find her. Find her. Imagine if they found her and it was like, oh, my God, breaking news. It's a fucking miracle. Maddie McCann has been found. And then she does an exclusive 60-minute sit-down interview and they go, Maddie, what happened?

And she goes, someone told me to get lost. Fucking showed them, didn't I? Now I'm a celebrity. My sister told me to get lost at the Pride of Loose crash. We were at kids club. At the Pride of Loose ball pit. At the Pride of Loose ball pit. She called me a Pride of Looser.

And I said, you're a bitch. So she said, get lost. So I did. I got walking. I lived in the mountains for about 12 years. Awful. How long has it been? Madeline.

I've watched many a doco on it. I think they have solved it, but I just don't think. Is there a part of you that's a little bit obsessed? Not in a judgmental way, because I'm oddly obsessed with Titanic. No, I'm oddly obsessed with missing. Like, I love the JonBenet Ramsey case. Yeah, I love them. I love Maddie McCann.

I love Gypsy Road Blanchard. Oh, I'm obsessed with that. Yeah. She disappeared on the 3rd of May 2007. Fuck me. That was 20 years. I was catching up with one of my cousins recently. She was telling me that her four or five

year old is obsessed with Titanic and I said, your boy's going to be gay. Totally. I know you shouldn't say that about someone who's literally not even in kindergarten, but he's going to be gay. It's the biggest red flag when they're young. If they're obsessed with Titanic, they're going to be gay. I remember growing up, my best friend,

he was obsessed with cruises and then Titanic. Yep. And voila, he's gay. Yeah. And then she sent me, my cousin, after I told her that a few months ago, whatever, she sent me a photo the other day being like, oh my God, I think you're right. Because he did another drawing of it or something.

Look, he sketched the Titanic sinking. Oh my God. He is gay. Oh, yep. He's gay. And good for him. And did you see that? This was ages ago, but I remember, I might have even mentioned it on the podcast, but

Sarah Harris made a Titanic birthday cake for her son. And I was like, gay. Gay, boy. I wonder what it is. Is it we love tragedy? It's this very camp as well. As far as tragedies go, fucking Titanic is very camp. Totally.

I was very obsessed with 9-11 as a kid. Oh, I went through that phase. I've been through that. That's not camp, though. That's just've been through that. That's not camp though. That's just fucking dark. Yeah. That's not gay. That's just we're human.

Yeah. So well said. There's a phenomenon where, you know, when there's the traffic, when an accident happens, so this is really, I mean, Kylie the caller really could have given this some gravitas. But when there's a car accident, the traffic isn't caused by the accident itself. It's caused by people stopping to look.

That's really sad. It's true. That when you drive past a crash, everyone slows down to look. It's not actually caused by the crash. We can all work with one less lane, but we're all nosy. I don't think that's fucking true. It is true. It's because when there's a crash, they close more

lanes than need be. I'm like, why the fuck are these witches hats three lanes away from the accident? It's called crank neck theory. Well, it's wrong. Because you crank your neck to look and it causes traffic. And if we were all a little less nosy, we'd all be home soothing with our family. Well, my bus had to detour the other day because there was an accident. Because there were no lanes left.

Well, you need to learn to drive. It's the moral of that one. And we've tried teaching. We've tried teaching and we taught you well. We did gaslight you a few times. Someone asked me the other day, why are there L-plates down the side of your, you know, those little pockets in the door? Yes.

Whatever you call them. Yeah. Door bins. Yeah. The door bins. There you go. They said, why are there L-plates on the passenger side down near the door? They said, why are there L plates on the passenger side down near the door?

And I said, because I told Jenna two years ago that, oh, we've done one L plating together. Was that the start of this year? No, I think it was last year. I can't remember when we did the L plating, but anyway. It was like the first episode of the season, probably last year. And I said, oh, I'll keep them in the car because I'm going to hold you to it. I'm going to take you L plating. She's not wanted to do it ever.

I've given her a couple of lifts home and been like, you sure you don't want to drive? She's like, no, not today. I felt like it on the day. And then after that, I was like, oh. I don't think I'd want to make you drive home from here because that's the bridge. That's scary. You can't go from the quiet streets of Asheville where we taught you last time and the fucking abandoned red roofs to drive through. You can't go from that to the Harbour Bridge.

I remember when I was teaching my ex to drive because I begged and begged. Terrible. And the point of my story is we did little trips. You've got to start with little trips. Like if we wanted Indian, we'd drive to Indian, you know. And we'd do day driving. We wouldn't do night driving. This just became the New South Wales Government Roads podcast

for tips to when you want to drive. It's also so unrelatable to me. Like, I learned to drive in fucking Bogengate. I got their towers up real quick. Totally. Yeah. Do you get a different logbook? Like, you know how we tick hours, time, date?

Do you tick wombat, killed, kangaroo, hit? No, all of those things did happen. Wow. I've never actually hit wildlife, but the fucking birds. Oh. I couldn't count. Did I tell the story about how I hit a kookaburra on this podcast? Oh, not more animal cruelty.

I didn't. It flew into me. Yeah, no, those things have got a death wish. No kookaburra. That's strange. Yeah, kookaburra. I knew it was because it had a real beak on it. Well, that is unlike any other bird, isn't it?

A beak. No, it had a... That's how you distinguish them. It was a big beak. I mean, it was either that or a fucking cassowary. A big cassowary. When do you think big beaks? I don't think hookah burrows.

I think the fucking ibis. No, that's not a big beak. That's a hook. That's a leg. Yeah, what do you mean it's that shit? Ugh. Oh my God.

Did you know cassowaries are the most dangerous birds? Yep. They kill people. Yeah. They headbutt. They throw their neck around and they've got a dinosaur horn

on the end of that noggin. I fed them mangoes. Is that why they're the most dangerous bird? Yeah. Because they're still hunting for that one girl. Yes. That fed them a mango that was sour. Yeah.

In Port Douglas. Did you bring the mango? Is this another Janice fable? Oh, please. What happened? What's the end of the story? I just fed it and ate it. You ate it in front of them? No, he ate it.

Oh, he ate it. And then I went on a crocodile cruise. What the fuck? It's always her holiday stories that are the most random. Were you alone? No. Did you see Crocs? Yeah, I got to hold up the big fish

And it snapped it out of my hand Get out Yep Have you been to Australia Zoo? No It's nice I've seen Terry and Bindi And Rob's and Irwin's properties

It's on the zoo Near the elephant enclosure Do they live at the zoo? Their house is on the zoo It's like a suburban house In the middle of a fucking zoo That can't be practical Really?

They're like Here are the ancient Egyptian orangutans. Here is a cassowary. And here is 12 Magusta Drive. This is where Terry Irwin lives. And here is the Bengal tiger. It's like, there's a house. And they really live at the zoo.

Yeah. So they're normal houses just in the zoo. Just one house. Bindi's got a new bub. What if she's trying to let it nap? And she's like, Robert, can you make that elephant shut the fuck up? It keeps waking the baby. There's a golden lion tamarin monkey in the playroom

again. Yeah. No, she lives in America now. No, she doesn't. Yeah, she won America's Dancing with the Stars. Yeah, but that doesn't mean she lives there. Well, she flew there in between sambas. Back to the zoo to nurse an otter. That was back in like before she had a baby. No,

surely not. Yes, it was. Before she was married. The most recent thing I've seen her do is celebrity goggle box and she was definitely at home. Yeah. Probably not their home. They probably got an Airbnb. But she was here. You reckon? Yeah. And Robert has a girlfriend now.

Oh, who's this slut What a loss for gay culture If he was gay that would have made The news I bet he loved Titanic just saying Oh It was an animal guy Hmm I wonder if any natural wildlife would damage the northern hull

He's like all those corpses in the ocean are really bad for the orcas Yes No he'd love Noah's Ark Yeah Do you know Get this corpses in the ocean are really bad for the orcas. Yes. No, he'd love Noah's Ark. Yeah. Do you know, get this, that why, this is the reason cats' eyes glow. You know how cats' eyes glow? It's a real story.

Do you know the reason? I don't even know if that's accurate, cats' eyes glowing. I don't know if that's. Yeah, when you see them in the street, their eyes glow. Oh, as in like if you shine a light at them, it reflects like a camera flash. Yes. Right, right, right. Okay. That's because in the Bible on Noah's Ark, the

devil tried to sneak onto the yacht. And fucked a cat. And that's the result. Oh, shush. Because Noah was saying, Noah was there and Noah was advertising we need two of every animal. We need two of every animal. We need two of every animal.

And the devil heard this. And the devil said to him, the devil said to himself, I'm going to get on that boat. So the devil turned himself into a black cat. Anyway, the devil on went the orangutans, two by two. On went the African lions, two by two. And then on waltz is a cat, but its eyes are flashing. And Noah goes, shoo, you're the devil.

And then it transformed. He went, you got me. And that's why cats' eyes glow, because the devil. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. That doesn't make sense, because if you didn't let him on the boat in the first place, then how did they reproduce? He tried to sneak on. But by your reason, he wasn't successful.

And that's why cats hate water. And that's why wasn't successful. And that's why cats hate water! And that's why cats hate water! No, cats don't actually hate water. I've looked it up. That's why cats hate water. Because the flood happened, the ark floated, and that cat had to swim, and that's why cats hate water.

It was the devil. They don't hate water. They hate being submerged in water. Same shit. No don't hate water. They hate being submerged in water. Same shit. No, it's not. It's true. That's why cats' eyes glow. I learnt this on a date, actually.

My date told me that. It was very disconcerting. I'm prepared to accept that version of the story. That's fascinating. Thank you. That's why cats have glowing eyes. Can you Google, Jenna, why cats have eyes story and then tell me what it's called?

I'm sure it's called, like, The Bishop's Nose or something. Okay. I've not read the Bible. But in your research for your novel, Jenna, why cats have eyes story and then tell me what it's called? I'm sure it's called like the bishop's nose or something. Okay. I've not read the Bible. But in your research for your novel, Mitch, I think you need to research and read it. That and Ida Buttrose's autobiography, My Life. No, it's actually, I've read that. I told you I've read a lot of autobiographies, didn't I? What's it called?

A Passionate Life. Oh my God, there's nothing about it. Shut up. I said, why do do cats eyes glow? And it says... Read the Bible, idiot. Along with the eyes of many other nocturnal animals. No, Jenna, Google Bible after. Why do cats eyes glow Bible story. This is

some conspiracy theory, isn't it? Look, nothing. I'm going to text the guy. It just says the Bible is full of felines, especially lions and leopards. There's nothing. Well, if Google can't verify, don't worry. Mitch is texting the guy. That's all the evidence we need.

I've even written Noah's Ark. Nothing. It's real. Cat, devil, Bible, Noah's Ark. Who are you talking to? Siri. Oh. I thought that was how you spoke to the guy you dated.

I was like, excuse me. I thought that was you doing a voice text. Oh, sorry. He's texting. Oh. I thought that was how you spoke to the guy you dated. I was like, excuse me. I thought that was you doing a voice text. Oh, sorry. He's texting. Sorry. Oh, he's texting. What did he say? Oh, I left this out.

Fuck me. The devil actually turned into a mouse. What? To chew through the ark. So it's not a cat. The devil turned into a mouse to chew through the ark. And Noah threw the cat in the ocean for hurting an animal. Oh, I get it.

It's all coming back to me. What about the glowing eyes? Yeah, where does that come into it? God, he's really done it in a short, succinct way. He should be a podcaster. The devil turned into a mouse because he went, I'm going to sneak on this ark and I'm going to fuck it up. So he chewed through the wood and then the cat that was there

with his cat partner went, oh, my God, he's chewing and killed him. He's chewing the wood. And then Noah went, oi, hey, don't you kill a mouse. That's ungodlike. Get off my boat. Get off my boat. Picks it up by the hind neck, throws it into the Baltic Sea so cats' eyes glow because they have the devil in them

and they're afraid of the water. That's what he said. Okay. Thank you. Nothing's on Google about. That's what he said. Okay. Thank you. Nothing's on Google about it. Oh, he's so cute. Why were rats not invited on the boat in the first place? Why did he have to chew through?

It was two of every animal. Because the rat didn't want, because he was a rat, he wanted to sneak on. Yeah, but two of every animal. There should have been two rats on there anyway. Why were they not invited? That's cruel. The Bible does not suggest that any animal missed the ark. No, that's not what he's saying.

He also wants me to shout out developmental language disorder. He's a speech pathologist and he thinks it needs to be publicised. Google DLD. Please keep that in. It really needs some support. What is it, DLD? Developmental language disorder. Right, okay, there you go.

I'll leave that with you all. What a nice note to end on. Next week on the show, we will be reading out more Bible verses. Incorrect ones. Isn't that such an interesting story? And that's why they glow, because the cat ate the mouse, which had the devil in it, and then all cats have devil in them. Then why doesn't Google say anything?

Yeah, where did he pull this shit? Yeah. I hate to be, I don't know, responsible as a broadcaster, but what's your source? Oh, we're just joking. Where did you get that shit? Wait, so it's a joke? No, no, no, I'm not just joking. Did he make it up?

No. Then who did? Don't know. Leviticus. Yeah. They called him Lev. He didn't like cuss. No, he didn't.

He didn't like cuss. Sorry. All didn't. He didn't like cuss. Ugh. Sorry. All right. Well, on that note, we probably should go. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today. That's all. Just 2%.

So we do. Well, I reckon this episode probably would be a good one to play at half speed. We will sound cooked. I agree. That mouse story. I can't believe it was a mouse. I knew I was getting it wrong. You know when you're telling a story and you know you fucked it up?

But I admire that you just fucking back it in anyway. Yeah. You're just like, I'm going to be so convincing. Also, what was my story to begin with? The cat got kicked off for no reason, then its eyes started glowing. Like there was no. When did it start? The Bible.

No. The ark. Because the rain. Oh, I brought up Noah's Ark. Because the Titanic. Yes. Oh, I brought up Noah's Ark. Because the Titanic. Yes. Oh, Robert Irwin. Robert Irwin was on it.

He loved Noah's Ark. Fuck me. Wow. Rollercoaster, like I said. You're so true. All right, we love you. Thanks for listening, everyone. Remember that stupid rollercoaster TV on ABC?

Oh, that host. Oh, he was cute. It was just weird. It was a TV show throwing to TV shows. Yeah. I never really liked it. Love you, idiot. See you soon.

Catch you soon. Bye, bub. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.