Is It Just Me? - #181: We've Been Cancelled

Episode Date: December 17, 2023

We're banning ONE particular topic on this Podcast after it got us cancelled online.     Also in this episode: Churi's "junk" IIJM about Santa (09:34) Does Mrs Claus have a first name? (12:40) Apologies for last week’s filth (14:14) Banning McCann 👀 (21:27) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (34:37)   Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you. Hello you. Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. So I'll be going to Wicked as a cowboy. What? Because it's the Halloween weekend.

We're wearing costumes and I'm going as a cowboy. To Wicked? Yeah. No, you can't do that. You can't. Imagine if I went to a Titanic exhibition as a Mario brother. It doesn't make any sense. Now, here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coombs.

Oh, hello you. Hello you. So it's the beginning of the end, Mitchell. It's our last week of the podcast. Still another episode to go. Wednesday's the big finale. Correct. I actually was wondering, because we were drinking last week,

you know how we made the boozy milkshakes? Yeah, milkshakes. Normally in our last week we would have wine, but I was like, we can't do two weeks in a row, can we, drinking on the podcast? I can get a bottle of bubbles. I can text someone and get them to bring it up. Whose bubbles is it?

I don't want to steal someone else's. The executives. That'll come back to bite us. I just have a feeling. No, but we'll just say Prizekeeperer Jenna, Demanded Bubbles. Yes. Who's here joining us. You know what she's like.

Major alcoholic Jenna, aren't you? Hi. No, you should do it. Should we? Oh, give me a message. Yeah. Okay, save it for the last episode. Okay, good call.

Yeah. That's very fair. Message Nettie. She'll have some. Who's Nettie? The nickname's in this fucking building. I met someone the other day that I thought was Paul for about six years that I've worked here, and he's like, hello. I'm like, nice to meet you. And he's like, you've known me for years. I met someone the other day that I thought was Paul for about six years that I've worked here.

And he's like, hello. I'm like, nice to meet you. And he's like, you've known me for years. I'm Stampsie. Or you're getting mixed up with Stoner. Stoner. Yeah, Stoner. Sorry, Paul, a.k.a. Stoner.

I don't care about any of this shit. And I was like, oh, you big stoner. He's like, never had it in my life, mate. That's so funny. It's like working in a radio station. Everyone's got a dumb nickname. That's helpful, though. It is, except for when you and I worked here together,

and the way that they differentiated the two Mitches was to put a sticker on my desk that read Fat Mitch. Hang on. It was Big Mitch and Little Mitch. No, it was Fat Mitch. It was not. When you left. I thought it was Fat Mitch. It was Fat Mitch.

It was Fat Mitch. Was this the night show we worked for, the two girls? They would never call you Fat Mitch. That's not woke. Those two girls. No, they wouldn't have. No, they didn't. God, we've been here a long time.

I know. Well, you've escaped. I'm fucking here. Yeah, I'm two years out of this place. It's like on those episodes of Wentworth, that prison show, when one of them gets out and they start following their life on the outside, but I always lose interest. I'm like, I don't give a shit. Go back to prison and shank someone.

It's like I left this radio station, but I'm on parole. I have to come back every week and check in. Yes. You've got an ankle bracelet on. Pretty much. But now you've lost so much weight, it slips right off. Because the Pilates is really targeting your ankles. Have you noticed you've lost weight in really weird spots?

Not really. I actually don't know where I was storing it. Because I don't feel like I look that different at all. I've seen old photos of you, and you have changed drastically. Your silhouette. I don't't know where I was storing it because I don't feel like I look that different at all. I've seen old photos of you and you have changed drastically. You're still a woman. I don't think it's that drastic. Sure, there's a bit of a difference, but I'm like, did I just have really fat toes or something? Oh, my God.

I feel like it's just toned. No, I feel the same. My shoes are all bigger. Really? Yeah. Maybe it's placebo, but my shoes are bigger and none of my rings fit me anymore. It's all fallen off my fingers and my feet. Anyway.

It's our second last episode of the year and I feel I actually need the break. Do you guys feel the same? Oh, God, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'll miss it, obviously, but it'll be good to not have to worry about it every week for a little bit. Don't worry about it like it's a problem child. It'll be good not to worry about it.

Well, you know what it's like. I know. I do know what it's like. Yeah. Will you miss it, Jenna? Yeah. But I'll be on my cruise. That wasn't convincing.

That was not convincing at all. I'll be on my cruise. Are you across Jenna's big Christmas cruise? Of course I am. For those wondering whether our Christmas party went ahead, you know how we were going to go to the meat raffle at the Bolo for the Is It Just Me Christmas party? It was in the calendar.

I cleared my schedule. Jenna fucked that for us because she's going on a cruise i planned this cruise a few months back where are you going i'm going on the royal princess cruise did you know no no it's horn is the love the love boat theme song what the fuck what's the love boat theme song i don't know but it's the horn it's horn is the love boat theme song yeah What the fuck? What's the love boat theme song? I don't know, but it's the horn. It's horn is the love boat theme song. Yeah, because it's the ship that was on the love boat. In what circumstance would a cruise ship need to use a horn? Like if something is in its way and they're beeping,

there's no stopping that big bastard. It's going to fucking hit. Yeah. Jenna, it takes like a month to stop a cruise ship. That's why when someone falls off, they're like, we can't do anything. By the time we turn around, we'll be in Fiji. What if I fell off? Jenna, I takes like a month to stop a cruise ship. That's why when someone falls off, they're like, we can't do anything. By the time we turn around, we'll be in Fiji. What if I fell off?

Jenna, I've just searched. The Love Boat theme song is a minute long. Yeah. So say, for example, iceberg! I don't think beeping at an iceberg is going to achieve much. This is the beep. No, but it's in the style of honking. Oh, I see.

People falling off the boat, children screaming, ice crunching on the starboard deck and then everyone's... So where are you cruising to, Jenna? Okay, so we're going to Fiji, New Caledonia and controversially, Vanuatu. Oh, I thought you were going to say Italy. Somewhere else. Because that went really well for you last time you went to Vanuatu. Oh, I thought you were going to say somewhere else. Because that went really well for you last time you went to Vanuatu.

And there's cyclone warnings this time. Oh, Jenna, far out. How do you do this to yourself? Last time it was an earthquake, this time potentially a cyclone. Why don't we lock in, Mitch, for our first episode back for 2024, a Jenna's fable time? Well, if there's one thing we've learnt this year, it's that holidays are always a disaster.

They're cursed. I'm a bit worried, actually. Something's going to happen. Are you going with your full family? No, just with my mum. Just the two of you? Yeah. Oh, no, that never ends well.

But I've already booked into activities like line dancing, Zumba. Oh, and then you'll be back here bitching about having to do line dancing and Zumba, won't you? Line dancing. Yeah. Okay, that cyclone will have Cyclone Watch. Is there a name of the cyclone? Is it Cyclone Helen?

It's not named yet. They don't name them yet, yeah. Not yet. You know they only name cyclone women's names? Yeah. Actually, I could be making this up, but I have a feeling that it makes them sound less daunting. Oh, that's a good point.

Oh, yeah. Like Hurricane Bruce. You'd be scared of that. That is scary. Give it a name that isn't intimidating, like Katrina. She sounds lovely, doesn't she? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Hurricane Bruce. You'd be scared of that. That is scary. But they give it a name that isn't intimidating. Like Katrina. She sounds lovely, doesn't she? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hurricane Trent. He's on the coast of New South Wales. You'd shit yourself. But Hurricane Lucy, I'd be like, oh, can't wait for her to arrive. She's cute. She looks great. Obviously, Lucy still causes some fucking damage, though. It doesn't matter what you call it.

Well, Hurricane Katrina was horrific. Oh, yeah. Do you think that really hurt the Katrina sales? Like the name Katrina for babies? Actually, that's a good point. You know what I mean? There's no Osama bin Laden's name. No one names their kid Osama anymore.

There's no Hitlers. No one names their kid Adolf after that. Like, you would think not. Your name gets associated with a terrible event. Like, people name Isis. But Isis is an Egyptian god, correct? Yes. Oh.

So it's messy. Yeah, it's not good. No. Anyway. But yeah, I'm going on a cruise. That'll be lovely, Jenna. Mitchell, what are you doing? I'm just heading back to Bogangate for Christmas.

Last year I did Christmas Day with Sean's family. Now it's my turn to take him back home. Oh, my God. That's so cute. I'm a bit fucked off, actually, because I had this lovely idea of going to Dubbo Zoo with my niece as a nephew, and my sister was so on board. Gorgeous. And I said, I'll organise it.

But then I've had a really fucking stressful week. And so I delegated to mum, being like, can you organise these zoo things? Because they're going to come. A whole family outing to the zoo. Doesn't that sound fucking wholesome and lovely? Yeah, I'd love that. It would be very hot. But I'm not a fan of mum's attitude towards this.

She's like, oh, there's no way I'm even considering booking that until I've seen the forecast. I'm not going if it's too hot. I'm like, do you look back in life and reflect on your beautiful family memories and think, God, it was hot that day? No, you don't. I think you need to just book it. This always happens.

You need to take matters into your own hands. I'm going to the Sydney Zoo, the Christmas night at Sydney Zoo. Christmas night? Yeah. No, no, no. No, they do a Christmas night. Oh, right. Which sounds unethical.

They're like, all the animals celebrate. I'm like, you're not putting a lion in a Christmas hat. Just wrapping Christmas lights around a giraffe's entire neck. That can't be good. That's awful. Hanging baubles around a giraffe's entire neck. That can't be good. That's awful. Hanging baubles off the giraffe's ear. They should paint all the orangutans' apples as baubles.

That'd be cute. With, like, safe-to-eat paint. That's what I'd do if I ran a zoo. We should run a zoo. Jenna, that's the worst idea you've ever had. I feel like I do most weeks, just quietly. All right, everyone. Welcome to Is It Just Me? If it's your first time listening, we start every show with an Is It Just Me?

We've noticed something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I do not know Mitch's. My Is It Just Me this week is about something that I think we should ban on the podcast in the new year. Oh, is this pointed? Is this feedback? Well, yeah, but not from me.

Okay. Yeah. Oh, good. Well, we've already banned prank calls, and I think that went down a treat. Something else. Yep, something else. Okay, all right. I'll obviously get you two to weigh in.

Yes. You have to agree to the ban. Oh, so it's like a vote system. Yes. All right, it's a democracy. Okay. Yeah, I'm down. I'm down.

Well, let's start with mine, because mine's Christmas related. Perfect. It's perfectly themed. Also, the studio is Christmassy. We've got Christmas lights. I've got a little hat on. Do you like my hat? I love it. He's got a little bow in his hair like little hat on. Do you like my hat? I love it.

He's got a little bow in his hair like he's a present. I went to Kmart and bought it. It's really cute. And the lady at the checkout went, they're selling hotcakes. You're lucky you got it. Give it another week. They won't be available. Thanks so much.

You can't refund those ones because they're in the hair. And anything that touches body, because skin flakes. I didn't even ask her one question. Why would you want to refund that? It's adorable. I agree. Your little Christmas hat. Yeah, a little gift. I didn't even ask her one question. Why would you want to refund that? It's adorable. I agree. Your little Christmas hat? Yeah, a little gift. I'm a present. Alright, let's jump in.

Is it just me or Does Santa and the sheen level factory that he's operating need to be investigated? Why? I just think at 2023, almost 2024 we cannot let those

ethical standards continue. They work around the clock in the North Pole, and we celebrate it. We think it's the best thing since sliced bread. And child labour. Child labour. Those elves aren't adults. What child labour? The elves, Mitchell. The elves. I've never thought

of elves as children. Aren't they fully grown? They just happen to be tiny? We wouldn't know. They're like Oompa Loompas. No, we wouldn't know. In a way, he only employs little people. He only employs little people. That's discrimination, I think.

Also, where does he make his clothes? We look at Sheen and AliExpress and we go, don't support those companies. But yet every Christmas we go, let him fire up the mass production line. No, no, no. And for everyone in the world. Everyone in the world. It's exactly right. He has to monitor them all the time, making sure they've been naughty or fucking nice,

updating his list. Oh, he's fucking lazy. He's got 12 months to check that thing. How many times does he do it? Twice. And also he relies on only 12 reindeers. Oh, don't get me started on the reindeer. Is there no HR department in the North Pole?

Reindeer is being bullied. Rudolph, apologies, is being bullied relentlessly by Dasher and Prancer and Vixen and Blitzen. But don't they love him now? No, no, only because he's not. Then all the reindeer loved him. They loved him. Why? Then they shouted out with glee, yippee.

Because Santa chose him to be the top dog. There's obviously a problem that he has a red nose. 100%. That poor thing has a malignant growth on his face. And they go put him at the front and market it. Market the shit out of the deformity on this reindeer. Music, everything. It's horrific.

Where is the HR? Where is the RR? Reindeer Resources. Look into it, people. This is the HR? Where is the RR? Reindeer Resources. Look into it, people. This is the dumbest conversation we've ever had. Think about it. Think about it. Yeah, it's a good point.

He also has a monopoly on this industry. Everyone hates Elon Musk because he's like this mogul that's got the electric cars. What about Santa fucking Claus? What industry does he have a monopoly on? Christmas. No one else gets to produce toys or make gifts for Christmas. It's just him. And people get to impersonate him.

Totally. Everyone goes, oh, Bill Gates, billionaires. What is Santa's net worth? That's a good question. Yeah. What is his net worth? He does so many things that I want to respond to this whole discussion, but there might be kids listening.

I just think Santa and Mrs. Claus need an investigation. You know when you watch 60 Minutes and they do an investigation into a couple that had like a farm and they were secretly abusing children for years? Yeah. It's going to come to light. And I feel like Mrs. Claus is underappreciated. Oh, she's complicit.

No, Jenna, she's complicit. She's like Michelle Obama. Everyone loves her, but deep down, rotten to the core. Are you saying Michelle Obama's rotten to the core? Why? What did she ever do? What did she do? That new Netflix film she put out.

What Netflix film? A Netflix movie that Barack and Michelle Obama produced. It's about the apocalypse. With Julia Roberts? With Julia Roberts. They produced it. Apparently it's a warning to society. Does Mrs. Claus have a name or is she just Mrs. Claus?

Can you Google that? Is she called Betty Claus or something? Michelle Claus. Because we know that he's Nick. Yeah, of course. Jolly Saint Nick. Yeah, Jolly Saint Nick. Where does Santa come into it? Is that his stage name but his real name's Nick? Santa is also so gay clearly. Santa's also Kris Kringle. What? That's what I mean. He's got a monopoly on all this. Wait, hear this. Names found for Mrs Claus are Mary Christmas. Since when?

Merry Christmas. That's really good. Gertrude and Carol. Wait, wait, wait. Santa is in an open arrangement with women of the North Pole. This is breaking news. Oh, my God, it makes sense. What are the names?

Gertrude, Mary and Carol. Yeah. Ho, ho, ho. One for every ho. I just Googled as well, what is Mrs. Claus' first name? And the first thing that comes up is Jessica. I think there's no real answer. Jessica Claus.

Oh, that's gold. Well, Merry Christmas to everyone. I just think, think about where your presents are coming from this Christmas. Oh, and they potentially have a daughter. Named who? Since when? Named Kitty Claws. Kitty Claws.

You're making that up, aren't you? No. Oh, that's so dumb. It's Kitty Claws. What, they got a pet named Rat Claws? Oh, they've also got a dog called Contract Claws. Oh, God. It's so stupid.

Is there any chance that you fished this idjim out of Jenna's junk? No. It's good shit. Potentially. Potentially. Is it just me? You should follow these idiots online. Search couple of Mitches.

Now, coming up on Wednesday, our season finale. Yes. Episode 182. We are doing our gift exchange for Savage Santa. God, it's exciting, isn't it? Which means we all give one gift, we all receive one gift, but we also have the opportunity to steal someone else's present if we prefer theirs.

Correct. Do we want to do a little tease of what we've bought? Have we all bought gifts at this point in time? Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Mine's in a big box. So is mine. Oh Yeah. Yeah. Mine's in a big box. So is mine.

Oh, is it? Mine's in a little box. Should I shake mine and you can try and guess what it might be? Yeah, go for it. Give it a shake. Ooh, Mitchell. God, you've wrapped that perfectly. Ready?

Yeah. One more time? Yeah. Wow. That's a hefty gift. I'll shake mine. Heavy. That does look heavy.

Ooh. Ooh, that's sturdy. It is very sturdy. I've got no idea what that is. Oh, wow. What is that? That's big. Jenna, do you have yours on you?

Yeah, I have mine. Okay. Oh, Jenna, there's a little one. Is there? Yeah. No clue. Hold on. Show me that bag.

No. Well, we're saving it for Wednesday. I know that wrapping. What? I know that wrapping. No. Ooh, really're saving it for Wednesday. I know that wrapping! What? I know that wrapping. No. Ooh, really? Was that wrapped in a store?

Yeah. And they used particular wrapping? Yeah, I sat in my living room, thank you very much, and wrapped that myself. Yeah, look at mine. The blood, sweat and tears it took to painstakingly wrap that. Well, they asked me and I said yes. You know what we should do, Mitchell? We should just post, no context, photos of my gift and your gift

and see if the idiots can guess who rapped, like whose gift is who based on the rapping. True. And also guess what's in there because they've got till Wednesday. Oh, that's true. So the big reveal. Oh, we'll put them up one by one. You can guess whose gift is who because, like,

if you had to pick a Mitchell or a Mitch gift, these just scream our personalities. Also, coming up in our last episode for the year on wednesday yes you were banging on about the fact that you like apples in sandwiches a couple of weeks ago and i just couldn't take your word for it i was like there's no fucking way an apple on a sandwich can be any good here's the thing i wasn't banging on about it okay and all the bastards on tiktok i gots. Did you? Yes. Saying what?

I got one. Saying, you're an idiot and the podcast sucks. Did someone say those exact words? Yeah. I think you're making up shit again. They said the podcast is foul and then I replied and said, so is that profile picture. But I did it off our Instagram account. Sorry. Was it because they listened to last Wednesday's episode, 180, when they said the podcast is

foul? Because that was a foul episode. That's when I got the message. I can check the date. Are you joking? Yeah. It came through to the couple of Mitches and I just replied saying, you're a bastard.

Because when we were watching the VR porn. Oh, God, yeah. Oh, yeah. You had to record. When we actually recorded, I kind of got swept up in the moment. But when it came to editing that episode, I'm not a prude. I'm not easily offended. But that was appalling.

Was it our worst yet? Yeah. It was a 40-minute recording, that segment, and I can only use 12 minutes of it. Oh, no. Like, that's how much foul shit I had to cut. Well, I blame you. You were so adamant that we watched VR porn, Mitchell.

I don't think I was at all. No, from memory, you were really firm on it. You really wanted it to happen. No, you said you wanted to bring it in and make apple sandwiches. That's not the content that I bring to this award-winning podcast. Mitch and I were talking about that back and forth. And I was thinking, because I'm trained in radio codes, you're not allowed to broadcast a sex act in radio.

Are we even allowed to do what we did on the podcast? Oh, it was just a couple of moans in the background. It was nothing really explicit. Yeah, no more than two hours. But there was a lot of visceral language from, I mean, I'm not going to totally blame you and Oscar. It was mostly you two, but I said some foul shit too, that I was just like, that's too much.

I've got to cut that. I'm going to beep it out. But there was one point that you used the phrase, oh, look, Jenna, they're t***. And I'm like, that's just f***ing too much. Did that make the final edit? No. Oh, okay. Oh, it's a much. Did that make the final edit? No. Oh, okay.

Oh, it's a shame. What did make the edit was foul in itself, but you should have heard the off cuts. Oh, really? Oh, it made me homophobic. I'm with you. Was it All Right Hey that came on this show and said, sometimes the shit that we do.

He said he's repulsed by gay sex. Sometimes I go, fuck. Yeah. Like once the heat dies down in your brain, you go, did I just put that there? It's just me. Anyway, apologies if you were offended by last Wednesday's episode. If you were, I understand and apologise. Aegean Proprietary Limited would like to issue an official apology as we say sorry for what we broadcast on the cloud last week. Sorry.

Maybe we should open a Patreon and I'll do the uncut version. You'll hear all the filth. Oh, my God. Would you be interested in that? Let us know if you'd like a full uncut version. It's really gross. Also, I love like 10 weeks ago in a Q&A, we were like, we will never Patreon.

And now we're like, if you want to hear us jerk off together, it's available for a one-off payment. That certainly wasn't happening. Even the use of jerk off. I know. I've become really sensitive after that episode. Even the use of jerk-off. I know. Sorry, sorry. I've become really sensitive after that episode. I'm like, ugh, too visceral.

You are more of a prude than I am. And actually, Jenna is the least prudish of us all. It's weird because generally speaking, I'm the foul-mouthed Mitch. Yes, yes, you are. But when it comes to sex acts and the words you were using, I was like, there's so many beautiful words in our colourful English language. Why the fuck are you choosing these ones? I would love to compare our sex lives.

Who do you think has a more wild, who's into more wild stuff? Jenna, who do you think? I think at the moment probably Turing. Yeah, you're experimenting at the moment. Yes, I'm trying. Yes, you're right. Interesting. And you're in like a loving, you know what works, you know? Like what happens for you and Sean, I can only imagine,

is down to a fine art. Not really. I'm not going into detail. No, you don't have to. We are not venturing into the foul territory we did last week. All I'll say is that when I was at your house last week, my leg hair got caught to the anti-cat tape. So I can only imagine poor Sean and his testicular hair

if he ever tries to ravish you on the couch. See, now, why did you just bring up Sean's testicular hair? You're so gross. No, I'm not. Single Mitch is a bit of a grub, isn't he? Yeah, he really is. You've changed. I have not changed.

Yeah, I broke up with my partner. Thanks a lot, bitch. I'm joking. I don't think of you as a bitch. I do. Yes. See, you're foul-mouthed. Yes. It's even our mouth. He can, but you can't.

Do you know why I found it really repulsive, that watching porn segment? Why? Because like a week prior, I was at Sean's family Christmas and I watched Aunty Kathy pull her phone out and say to me, oh, you've got a podcast. Can you show me how to follow you on Spotify? So now I look at everything through that lens. I'm like, if Aunty Kathy heard that, she'd design me. She'd have a conniption.

I'm in the same boat. The guy that I'm seeing told me that his dad listened to our podcast to know who I am. And the first episode he listened to, yeah, was the Lost in the National Park, which was about being lost with his son in a national park. And you go, did you blow him in the back seat? Thank God I said no.

Imagine if I told the truth. Apologies for last week. We're going to clean up our act in the new year. We will. We will. Well, I've got another suggestion for the podcast in the new year. Should I get into my image? Yes, yes, yes.

Let's jump in. Last one of the year, Mitch. Oh, my final image. Oh, let's go. Hello. Fader's go. Hello. Fade is down. Sorry. Is it just me or?

Do you think we should all agree as a team to henceforth ban any Matty McCann jokes? Oh, come on now. Why are you both looking at me? I wonder why we're both looking at you. The worst offender. How dare you? I've done nothing but trailblazed for that girl.

I have brought attention. When was the last time you thought of Madeline Rose Bishop McCann? I can't escape her. You keep bringing her up. Well, I mean, yeah. No, so this is what's happened Oh god I knew this was going to happen No so people started to notice

You were making Maddie McCann jokes a lot You'd drop her name randomly And you'd always mention Pride Allude Yeah And then people kept pointing it out In our Facebook group Going god Mitch is obsessed with Maddie McCann And then we acknowledged that

We started saying her name even more And then the one time I got swept up in it and started making Maddie McCann jokes myself, it's gotten us cancelled. Oh, we're not cancelled, are we? Thanks a lot. Go to my Facebook page. Do you want me to go to it now? Mm-hmm.

Oh, you're... So what we'll do, we'll do a bit of self-aware reflection. Just hit play on the video on my Facebook page. Yeah. And see if we find it offensive. A bit like watching porn on the podcast. In hindsight, didn't like it. Oh, Mitch, I feel like this is like a,

we've done this with our therapist where they get you to, it's like exposure therapy to our own content. I think exposure therapy is supposed to make you used to it and numb to it. That's actually the problem, that we're numb to Manny McKenna jokes. Oh, so all the jokes. Turns out people don't find them fucking funny at all. Yes, they do. Okay, so all the jokes. Turns out people don't find them fucking funny at all.

Yes, they do. Okay, here's the thing. I think the story is horrific and it's such a genuinely awful thing to happen to a child. Oh, my God. I'm never making jokes at her expense. I think prior deluge is a funny three-hander gag. Prior deluge sounds funny. Are you going there for Christmas?

How do I get to your Facebook? Are you thick? The weaponising confidence of not knowing how to get to my Facebook. I do. I just wanted to. Oh, God. Should I do it on my phone? No, just go onto the fucking Facebook page. Google Mitchell Coons Facebook.

Oh, can you do it without logging in? Yes. There we are. That one? The top one. 180K followers. God, you've done well. So go down.

Yep, that video. This is it. All right. Let's just play that first and see if we find this inappropriate in hindsight. Okay. Here we go. You know how people will say, get lost, as the polite version, as opposed to, oh, get fucked.

Yeah. Let's just stop down and really think about what you're saying when you tell someone to get lost. Go missing. I should have ended the video here. That's so mean. That's so true. And think of some of the most famous missing people of the world.

Maddie McCann. Imagine if they found her and then she does an exclusive 60-minute sit-down interview and they go, Maddie, what happened? My sister told me to get lost at the Pride Illusion Crash. She called me a Pride Illusor. She said, get lost. I got lost. Showed her crash she called me a pride illusion she said get lost i got now i'm a celebrity now honest opinion do you think that was that bad no that's hilarious that was really i did not get enough credit for pride illusion that was very funny i thought however

the problem is the i don't reckon people that listen to this podcast would be offended by maddie mccann jokes frankly they're used to it But the issue is that I'm way more popular than you. Yeah, on Facebook. This is what's happened when I put that video on my Facebook page. There's not one positive comment. Look at them all. Oh, no. Okay, so let's scroll down.

Sharni, I'm a fan but a missing child. Oh, God. Come on, keep reading. No, no. A missing child who most likely died a horrifying and terrible death, never to be seen again, isn't really what I'll call a great subject of humour. No, we're not making fun of that fact. Tammy says, this is terrible.

How disgraceful to mention a missing child in this context. All three think it's funny. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves and sacked for that matter. Sacked from where? That's you, Jenna. Where am I getting sacked from? True. You shouldn't name names, says Beverly.

Ollie says gold, and he's laughing. Oh, there we go. We've got one positive comment. Ian says, IQ level here for these three wouldn't register on the Richter scale. That is funny. These jerks who mentioned the McCann case really need sorting out. Awful. Jerks. I've never been called a jerk. The top comment is, I hope

I'm not around when the triggered humans ruin comedy for everyone. See, that's a support, but also I don't want to be that that that like comedian that gets defended for not being PC what's that Matt Strife guy everyone's like oh he's really let him be funny I'm like I don't want to be that person he's not funny no I understand that but also do you want to be known as the Matty McCann guy no, Mitch Thierry, you know the one that makes all the Maddie McCann jokes all the time? I don't. Okay. All right.

From here on in, I vow to stop making jokes about Madeline McCann. Okay. You're in on the ban. Of course. I think it's, I genuinely think awful to make jokes about what could have gone wrong and what happened. We don't know. But I also, I'm not making jokes about the death of a child.

It's the circumstances. Anymore. Anymore. Anymore. And I'm moving on to JonBenet Ramsey. Oh, for fuck's sake. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I wouldn't. So what do you reckon, Jenna? Should we ban Maddie McCann jokes? Oh, this is tough because they have been really funny. We should implement a punishment for anyone who mentions her name going forward. Like a swear jar. Oh, that's good. Anyone who

mentions Maddie McCann has to transfer a dollar to the kiddio. The kiddio is the bank account for this podcast. We'll get the BSB and account number. I've already got it. We all have it, I think. And we'll just transfer a dollar in and then at the end of the year, we'll buy something

with that cash. Well, I'm hoping that we won't have any money to play with if we just don't mention a name. We won't have to pay the dollar. If we do have money, we could give it to the Maddie McCann Foundation. Well, Jenna, you already owe a dollar. No, I don't. The ban starts now.

No, the ban has not started yet. No, I think it has. It had started. It had started. Let me start a tally. No, it has not started. What hasn't? Nothing. What's't? Nothing.

What's your favourite brand of frozen chips? I don't eat frozen chips. Armacane. Mitchell! That's not the same fucking last name. I heard it. You've done it again. Look, in comedy, sometimes you win and sometimes you're prone to lose.

That's still, it's not her name, but you're teetering very close. I just think we don't go there anymore. Look how offended people got on my Facebook page. They were pretty upset. That's Facebook for you. And that's my name being used, not yours. Well, can we all, okay, I'll point it out here. I'll point out the missing kid.

Mitchell, you brought up her. No, actually you did. No, you said Maddie McCann. You owe a her. No, actually, you did. No, you said Maddie McCann. You owe a dollar. Oh, fuck! No, that's actually how the video was edited. You brought her up. No, you said Maddie McCann.

Two dollars. Oh, fucking hell. Shit, that's really hard. Jenna won. Cheery, too. Jesus, two bucks. Do you know what happened? Shit, that's really hard. Jenna won. Cheery, too. Jesus. Two bucks. Do you know what happened?

I didn't actually technically bring her up in that video. You had to drop it in. So by this point, people had already pointed out that you keep bringing up her name. So you didn't want to say it because you're like, oh, I don't want to bring her up again. So you just led us into that direction. And I was like, I'm going to have to say the names so people know who we're talking about. Of course. Because you were like,

think of some of the most famous missing people of the world. But you didn't want to say it because you'd be accused of bringing her up again. Of course. I'm very conscious of it. Well, you're going to have to be extra conscious because now it's costing you. No. Yeah, two bucks.

Two bucks. The last time we joked about it was the parents' cookbook. It wasn't even her. And we're not joking about the circumstances. We never joke about the actual kidnapping. It's the law and the myth of it all. Think outside the box, people. No wasn't even her. And we're not joking about the circumstances. We never joke about the actual kidnapping. It's the law and the myth of it all. Think outside the box, people. No more.

Not anymore. None. We're done. Three bucks? What can that get us? You can get an armoured piccolo. Not these days. No, true.

You're not wrong. No. Anyway, so, yeah, we've officially banned any jokes about that. Anything else we want to tack on before we wrap up? Yeah, any other feedback? Anything you guys want to ban in the new year? Can you sit down in the new year? Oh, I only stand up if I'm feeling a bit knackered, which I am today.

That doesn't make sense. Do you want to sound dopey? I only stay up all night if I'm exhausted. Yeah, I do. I want to hear dopey myths. It just makes me a bit more alert if I'm standing up. Oh, because the blood's got to pump to your head. I don't know.

I can't explain it. Instead of you. Yeah, I get it. So no, any 2024 ins and outs from you two? got a pump to your head. I don't know. I can't explain it. Instead of you. Yeah, I get it. So no, any 2024 ins and outs from you two? I'd like to bring back the potential of rash shirts. I have a story. Yesterday I went on the lookout for rash shirts and there's none around. I had to settle for a $20 Kmart one that doesn't even cover the neck.

I've still got a rash vest for you at home. Why did you buy it? Because remember we were going to do a photo shoot for this season's artwork of us by the pool and Jenna was going to be in a rash vest and then we just didn't have time so we didn't end up doing that. I've still fucking got it if you want it. It's Roxy or something. Oh, that's a good one. I have a rash shirt from when I was a 6XL, and if you take it on the cruise ship, you could use it as a potential life raft for 13 people if you just all hold a corner.

I'm good thinking. You know, I went my first summer swim this week, and I didn't wear a shirt, and I felt confident. Well done. It was a big win. When? On Thursday. It was 30 degrees.

No, when did I ask? Oh, fuck. You know what we should bring back? Yes? Next year, us being fat. Why? Someone commented on a video on our Facebook group, Enduring Idiots. If you're not in it, go join it.

The conversation continues after the show. And some post was like, is it just me or does Jenna have gorgeous hair? And everyone was commenting, gorgeous hair, silky, smooth. Does she use Moroccan oil? Then the next comment was, The reason I think Mitch Turi's celebrity interviews are no longer entertaining is the fact that he's now thin and good looking, whereas before he was fat and just okay looking.

The celebrities are no longer disarmed by his lovable persona and bubbly energy. Bring back Big Mitch. Love the pod. That's the definition of when did I ask? Yes. It was out of nowhere, that feedback. It was free. It came out of the blue.

Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that your celebrity interviews have gotten boring? No. Because he's just weighing in on this discussion that never took place. Yes. That's the point. Why did he do that? Anyway, what do I want to bring back?

No, as in like ban, not doing more. Oh, ban. Yeah. I'm pretty content. I think I'd like to ban one of the studio recordings every month, and we do one a month from your house, Mitchell, or my house, or Jenna's mansion. Yeah, I don't mind that.

That's pretty much what we've been doing recently. We have, but the energy is different. It's very nice. True. Don't you think? To an extent, because what happens if our energy is too relaxed is we end up watching fucking porn on the podcast. No, no, no.

We vowed to never. And our vile commentary. I love that we vowed today never to watch porn again. We've issued an official, our first ever apology to the masses. We have stopped. I can't even. It's dangerous territory. Okay, should we go?

Yeah, maybe we should. Is there anything else anyone wants to ban? Maybe if you're a listener of the show, this is the one time we will be receptive to feedback. Let us know what you want us to ban from the show. I can just bring up the survey monkey. I already know. I want to bring something. Whenever we do something from someone's house, can we order food?

When you say we, do you mean me? Yeah. You've all got the fucking Uber Eats app. Oh, I actually need to get the CVV code. I've got a new phone. I used to have the kiddie O on my Apple Play. Right, right, right. And I had to go buy ingredients for a fucking apple sandwich

and I had to fuck the cost. Green apple, chicken breast, mayonnaise, white bread. It's $36 in this economy. Well, I'll take a dollar off that when I reimburse you. Or $2, actually, for the mentions of the missing child. Yeah, of course. Yeah. God, I hope they get it.

Okay, we should go. All right. Love you, idiots. Leave us a five-star review, please, on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, if you haven't. And write one. Write with your hands. That's the Christmas gift we want. Please do it.

It's very nice. Gets us up in the Triton podcast ranker. The what? The Triton podcast ranker. I've never even heard of that. Yeah, when I get the email like the monthly podcast ratings Triton have released, I'm like, it sounds like the Daily Paper in the Little Mermaid world.

Yeah, it does. The Daily Triton. It does. Triton have published the results. I'm like, oh god, I wonder what Flipper thinks about this. Sebastian. Yes, now what was the Flapper? What was the fat fish called? I don't remember. Oh, it starts with F.

Flounder. Flounder. That's it. I'd love to get Flounder's tag. Can we go now? Yeah, I think we should. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

Some things are okay to be thoughts. You're right. You have to blurt everything out. Next year, we're banning thoughts, everyone. No train of thoughts, specifically. Okay. All right. Okay.

See you next week. No, not next week. In a couple of days. Oh, God. specifically. Okay. All right. Okay. See you next week. No, not next week. In a couple of days. Oh God, that should have been a thought. See you in a couple of days. Catch you Wednesday.

Goodbye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. I'll stop. Welcome to A to Debrief. This is our secret segment on the end. The show isn't done.

We just keep talking shit. Nothing's planned here. I just got, did you get one? What? This is going to be a fight. What? There's an opening at our therapist for a cancellation. Oh, I've already got one.

Oh, shit. In a couple of days' time. I'm saying yes. I'm shaking. This is like getting Easter show tickets. Like Taylor Swift reputation world tour. Yes, me, please. Imagine if you called our therapist's receptionist and reacted like a prize winner would on the radio who's just won extra show tickets just call and be like oh my god thank you

hi miranda from therapy yeah did i get it yep you've got the book you've got an appointment thank you i'm so depressed at the moment this is gonna really pull me out of the brink of sadness thank you that's very sweet so because we're heading towards christmas it's our christmas I'm so depressed at the moment. This is going to really pull me out of the brink of sadness. Thank you. That's very sweet. So because we're heading towards Christmas, it's our Christmas episode on Wednesday. Yes. I thought I'd bring in a little Christmassy snack for you all. Oh, Christmas snack.

Please let it be good. So I popped down to the shops and I found one that I don't know why it angers me. I don't know. Why? Because here we have Chubba Chub's limited edition candy cane lollipops. Yum. Oh, sounds good. And my question is, what's the fucking point of that?

Why? You can just have a candy cane. You're just sucking on it. It's the same thing. That's a good point. Yeah, but I like having the handle on that. I like the stick. Yeah.

No, but you know what I like to do with a candy cane? I hate the stick. Yeah. No, but you know what I like to do with a candy cane? I like to peel. I hate to think. I like to unwrap the top and hold the hook and then pull the plastic down so then the hook is still plasticised. Yes. And then you suck it. So you don't get sticky. Correct.

Exactly. So I can see the appeal in these. But why? Like, you can just do what you said. You peel the plastic and down the bottom so you've got something to hold onto so that there's not, you know, skin to cane contact. Like it's a banana. That's what I said. You peel the plastic down the bottom so you've got something to hold on to so that there's not, you know, skin to cane contact. Like it's a banana. That's what I do.

I peel it. Then the plastic gets stuck to the. Yeah, it does. And then like I like to suck it so much that it gets pointy at the end. All right, I'm going to. Is this the snack? Yeah, these are the candy cane lollipops. They might taste dope.

I just think that they're fucking stupid. There you go, Jenna. Thank you. Thanks. And I know I've brought this stupid. There you go, Jenna. I'll take one. Thank you. Thanks. And I know I've brought this up before, but it's the hill I'll die on. I hate that they sell chocolate baubles. I'm like, it's leftover Easter eggs.

No. They're just round fucking chocolates. They're Easter eggs. I tell people that as if you broke that news to me. I'm like, you know the chocolate baubles are just leftover eggs. That's not a fact. I know, but I tell people. Wait, this is a creamy one?

It's got a cream bottom on it. Eh? Cream. Like strawberries and cream. It's not even red, green and white. Yeah, it doesn't look like a candy cane at all, does it? Oh, this is. I can't even get mine unwrapped.

Why is it so hard to unwrap? I'm sorry, guys. That ain't candy cane. Oh, well, what's the point? They've reused the cream from strawberries and cream. It should not be creamy. I can't get it unwrapped. Fuck me.

It tastes like a milkshake. How did you get it open? No, that's pretty candy. I've slobbered all over it. Is that okay? That's fine. Ow! Sorry.

I've been biting it trying to undo the wrapping. You've got to twist it anti-clockwise and then you grab. That's what I was doing. I couldn't get the bloody thing open. Do they fucking heat seal these? See, this ties back to my eugen, which I think is one of my best yet. Does Santa get a cut for this? Like, he owns the trademark of Christmas, you know?

Okay, here we go. I'm going to try the candy cane on the top. Yeah, that's not even slightly candy cane adjacent, is it? No. Oh, no, there's undertones. There's mint. Yeah, I think it is. It's got cream in it.

I like it. Yeah, it's not as good as a candy cane, is it? I haven't had a candy cane in years. I don't jump for a candy cane. I'll have a gingerbread house. I'll have a pavlova. I'll have a- Oh, fucking gingerbread.

Oh, amazing. And can I say, as I've grown and my palate has developed, I'll fuck a pud too. I will. Sorry. I used to make the pudding and put threepences in there. What? Which is like old coins. And if you find the coin in your pudding,

I think the reason that she put threepences in there is because it's a particular type of metal that won't go all fucked in the food. And if you find one in there, you get money, basically. She'll exchange it for a five cent piece. So that's the fun of the game. If you get a threepence in your pudding, you get d, basically. She'll exchange it for a five cent piece. So that's the fun of the game. Oh, you just cry. If you get a threepence in your pudding, you get dosh from them. Sounds real fun.

Until Uncle Bill choked on a five cent piece, died on Christmas Day. Yeah, there was one year where it was like, who got the threepence? And we're like, we don't know. Someone just fucking straight up ate it. Then she had to get a fucking sieve out of the top drawer and get shitting. Oh, God. My nan used to boil the Christmas pudding because traditional Christmas pudding is boiled.

Right. She'd boil it or steam it in a Hessian sack and it was just this big, dark brown ball in a Hessian sack and I'd go, nan, what is that? And she'd go, it's the beheaded neighbour. And I believed it. Oh, God. You would. That's where you get your bullshitting from.

Yeah, my family are historical bullshitters. They seriously are, every single one of them. This is awful. I'm putting it in the bin. Yeah, I'm not loving it. I like it. I was going to make this snack part of my Savage Santa present for whoever's lucky enough to get my present on Wednesday,

but then I thought, no, I wouldn't burden someone with these. No. Whoever wants them can have them, of course. You know what I love? I went to Kmart the other night just for a little shop. When? And it was Wednesday afternoon. And no.

And the amount of Christmas paraphernalia is so cool. Like we, and that's what I mean. Sheen. Santa's just profiting. He's making so much shit. You go to the Coles website, you go to the Christmas tab, there's Curtis Stone with a fucking ham. Look at all this Christmas stuff.

You're doing the train of thought thing again. What are you saying? Oh, absolutely nothing. I'm saying look at these Christmas products. I thought about getting my first Christmas tree this year. I just didn't get around to it. You don't have a – I did not notice that when we were at your house last week. I don't have one.

Mitchell, you need a tree. It hasn't dawned on me that Christmas is so soon. Like I'm not excited about it yet. It's very soon. Like I've only got a couple of things on my to-do list and then I'm like finished work for the year essentially. Yeah, okay. Well, I've got one last radio show to do

and then I'm done. Must be nice. Four weeks, yeah, it'll be very nice. When are you done, Jenna? Today. Is it your last day? Yep. Not Friday? No, because my cruise is on Friday. So you quite literally depart tomorrow. That's why we couldn't do our fucking ham raffle Christmas party. I Friday? No, because my cruise is on Friday. So you quite literally depart tomorrow. Yeah. That's why we couldn't do our fucking ham raffle Christmas party.

I said that, sorry. So you- She ruined it. You dock tomorrow? Yeah. So I depart the dock at 4pm and my other podcast host, Sam, she's going to wave me off. Why? Did she offer or did you ask her to do that?

No, she offered. Oh, fuck. Are we awful friends for not offering to wave her off? Yeah. I'd do or did you ask her to do that? No, she offered. Oh, fuck. Are we awful friends for not offering to wave her off? Yeah. I'd do it in such a- I don't have shit to do. I'll come wave you off. Do you want to be waved off?

Yeah, wave me off. I'm going to do it in a really dramatic, old-timey way. And I'm going to get a sinker chief in your hand. Yep. Goodbye. Could be the last time I see you, my love. Go well. Go well.

I'm going to be staring you in the eyes until your face dissolves into nothing but a dot. Yeah. I've never been on a cruise ship, but I just have this feeling that I would be in my fucking element. Oh, my God, you would. Bingo. Buffets. What's not to love? Cocktails.

Yeah, you'd thrive. Live theatre, performances, comedy. You'd thrive. I'd be the person that dies. Do you know, Mitchell, do you know on cruise ships there are morgues? There's a morgue on every cruise ship because people cark it. Sean was telling me that his grandmother used to frequent cruise ships and the record was 17 people on board just carked it

because they were old and died. 17! But they died doing what they love. Well, that's true. Cruising. Staring at young women in the lobby pool. Apparently Sean Stanton would just make new friends on the cruise and they'd be dead the next day. Oh no. It's a bit grim, isn't it? That's awful.

I'm not a cruise kind of guy. I got an invitation. Have you been on one? No, but I got an invitation. How do you know you're not a cruise kind of guy? Well, I got an invitation last week to go on Richard Branson's cruise ship. Did you get that invite? Wasn't that just a that invite? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wasn't that just a day thing? Yeah. It was Virgin. It was like a PR thing. Yeah, yeah. Virgin who do the airline. No, they also do cruise lines now. Yeah, you're not going anywhere.

No, no. It's just docked in Sydney Harbour. Boring. But they wanted to give you a tour. And I was like, I could think of nothing worse. I'm just not a cruise guy. No, apparently that new cruise is kid free. I'm like, fuck yeah, now we're talking.

I don't want to deal with families and shit. Wait, that one that I was talking about. Yeah. Get out. Well, the one I'm like, fuck yeah, now we're talking. I don't want to deal with families and shit. Wait, that one that I was talking about? Yeah. Get out. Well, the one I'm going on, it's full of old people. Perfect. So I think it's amazing. Mitch, that'd be your dream.

Yeah. I don't know about old, old people, but I feel like it would be fun to do it with friends. Like you just lean into how fucking daggy it is. I mean, I hate to be homophobic, but I often am at times. I got an invite from P&O to go. They went, Slay Queen. Hey, babe.

We in the P&O family want to invite you on our inaugural P&O Pride Cruise. I said, I could think of nothing fucking worse. Yes, hunty. 100%. Nothing. That'd be the horn. If the horn for that fucking boat is the love sound, what's it called? Love cruise? The love boat. It'd be

CC Penniston, finally. Finally it's her! As we crash into a hillside. So are you going to be on the cruise for actual Christmas Day, Jenna, or are you back? No. Good. On Christmas Day we're in New Caledonia. Jesus Christ. Far out.

Oh, well I was going to say when we go to the Dubbo Zoo, we should catch up, but you won't be in Dubbo. No, I won't. Normally you are. I normally am. You be careful. That's where Captain Cook was speared, and you look strikingly similar to him in a low-light situation.

For whatever reason, Sean also wants to go to the old Dubbo jail. Oh, do it. And I'm just kind of morally against that place, because I've never agreed with the way Australia spells jail. G-A-I-L. Yeah, Old Dubbo Gail. No, it's just J-A-I-L. Why can't we spell it like that?

Old Dubbo Gail is great. I've been there. Have you? Yeah, it's nice. You just get the photo with behind the bars and smile. Right. And you get your head in the top thing. Yeah, it's good funny.

God, that was the most terrifying thing at fucking Questacon when you'd stick your head in that beheading thing. What do they call it? Oh, my God. A guillotine. Yeah, a guillotine. And you could feel the air. Yeah, it would just be a fake blade, obviously,

and it would drop and then do a puff of air on your neck. And I was fully aware that it couldn't kill me, and yet I was just too shit scared. Oh, I was such an anxious child that I thought the one time it does kill a kid, it will be me. That's what I thought. I remember I was such a weird kid. I went in that earthquake house. They have like a house

that simulates an earthquake. Well, I was in a real one, so. Oh, God, true. I don't know what happened, but it initiated my fight or flight and I just wanted to find my wife. Where is she? I was 13. Get the photo albums from under the bed. We end up

discussing Questacon surprisingly often. A shocking amount. Yeah. I went to Canberra recently and I was shocked. Sorry to hear that. I know, it was dreadful. The lack of advertising. Really?

That's all they got. Advertise Questacon. Billboards. It needs no advertising. Or you think it speaks for itself. Well, it's also a bit shit now. It is a bit shit. They got rid of all the good shit.

Really? Yeah, it's more educational now. Less fun rides and whatever. They're awful at WH&S, you know. We can't guillotine a kid's head. But in our days, yes, of course they could. Yeah. Oh, so they don't have that anymore?

No. I wonder if education has changed. Like when I was in school, my teacher basically sucked off Captain James Cook and Joseph Banks every history lesson. And now I've had to learn my own facts, you know, pull down the tower and pull down the statues, et cetera. Do they, have they changed it to be not so fucking biased? Well, apparently they show my fucking videos in some classes.

So I don't know. Maybe standards have slipped. What for gay sex ed? No. What videos of mine would shed any light on that? Welcome class HB. This is a twink. Remember we got someone on the phone on the podcast.

It was a teacher who shows her class as my Bogengate video. Oh, yeah, I do. I can't remember for what subject or for what fucking reason, but I think it might have been English, like storytelling and satire or something. It might be standard English. How dare you? It could be extended. I did standard English and now I'm writing a book.

I know. So get that up here. Yeah, that's true. What's the update? No, potentially, potentially. What's the update with your book? You sat down with both the penguins. Oh, there isn't one, really. We just had a meeting. Excuse me, no, young man. Yeah, that's true. What's the update? Potentially, potentially. What's the update with your book? You sat down with both the penguins. Oh, there isn't one, really.

We just had a meeting with both the penguins. Excuse me, no, wrong publisher. Oh, sorry. Did Schultz and Schultz come? Or are they twins? No, I don't really have an update. We just, you know, we've been chatting about it. It's very exciting.

Yeah. It might not happen, but we'll see. Listen, we're both rising. You got offered a book. I got offered to be the face of Vic's sinus inhaler. I love those. Can we swap? Do you want to swap?er. I love those. Can we swap? Do you want to swap?

Really? I love those. They're surprisingly addictive. Yes, and they're expensive. Remember Rhys Nicholson and I were saying that that's the gateway to vaping, like we were addicted to the inhaler? Wait, hold on. No, no, this is what it is.

I remember when I first met Mitchell, he had one in his nose. No, this is what they want, the new and improved tech, high tech one. Oh, show me. It's like there's a new electrical one. They want me to be the face of the – I'm not even going to say it because I haven't said yes. I'm not even going to do it. I don't want to be the face of a sinus inhaler.

Mitchell's going on a book tour. I'd love to. And I'm going to retirement homes letting old people know that they can clear their sinuses at the press of a button. Young people have blocked sinuses too. True. Don't discriminate. No, you're right.

Maybe that's why they want to target me. In fact, like children are the worst offenders with the fucking blocked nose. Just seems a bit off brand. You know what I found in New Zealand? Best discovery ever. Sorry to, you know, poo-poo your fucking sponsors. No, I'm over it. No, no, I don't want to.

But I discovered this thing called the snuffler. Oh. Google it. It's like a Vicks inhaler, but instead of causing heaps of landfill, you know when the Vicks inhalers become a bit weak, you just chuck them out and get a new one? So you unscrew it and then there's a little bit of foam in there or something inside the tube and you pop a couple of extra drops

of essential oil on there so it's reusable. Look, there it is, the snuffler. You just put essential oil on the little thing inside and you can reuse it. Oh. Clever. Oh, wow. It's great.

I'm not an ambassador. I just think the snuffler's quite fucking handy. Oh, it's not like a commercial thing. It's made, it's like, it's kind of underground. Yeah, I found it at a gift shop. Oh, well, shout out to the snuffler. It's so good. I might reach out to them.

It's reusable. Yeah, I don't think I'll be the face of VIX. Why not? Your book's good, though. It's very exciting. You haven't read it. I want a chapter about working together. Oh, God.

You'll have to. What else are you going to write about? Bogengate, yes, of course. Your beloved Sean. I don't know. Isabella. And then there'll have to be a chapter about working with me. What about me?

Can I be in it? It depends. I'm sure your name might come up at some point. Can I get the dedication? No, I want the dedication. I want the dedication. Would you like to write the foreword? Oh.

Oh. That'd be charming. Actually, no to write the foreword? Oh. Oh. That'd be charming. Actually, no, you get someone with star power, Jessica Rowe. Yeah. Amanda doesn't for everyone. Why would Jessica Rowe write my foreword? I've never met her. Mitchell's sense of humour and trademark charm.

How would they write that? KJF, KJF, KJF. She should be the face of VIX How clear are her nostrils with them snorts? No, you know what she's the fucking face of? What? Child safety on TikTok Oh yeah

Sarah and Janine Ellis, what's her name? Who am I talking about? Natalie Rowe Who? Jessica Rowe Jessica Rowe What is wrong with you today? I don't know

Jenna, can you, it's an audio medium Stop sucking on a popsicle We both chucked ours out because we knew it was funny for 10 seconds. I've still got mine going, but it's been a long time between sucks because I'm talking. Is it? Yeah. Although no sticky fingers, so maybe there's something

to be said for the lollipop. I agree. I just love a Christmas themed item. I'm all for it. You know what I love? A penitone. Like a Christmas cake. Oh, they're yummy. They're really good. You know what? I used to be obsessed with candy canes, actually. Really? You wouldn't just get the mint ones. You could get all sorts of different coloured ones.

Do you remember those ones, you know, that were like orange and purple in swirls? Oh, bitch, they were so good. What were they? Like orange flavoured, maybe? Yeah, no, I remember those. It was so nice. You could get all sorts of candy canes.

Is it just me on the fly, or did the candy cane production line just give up? There used to be so many. I agree with you. There was an orange flavor one that I really liked. I think that's the one I'm talking about, yeah. Yeah, the Coke one. I don't remember.

Coke? Yeah, had cola. Yeah, cola. Yeah, yeah. You used to get them in that like 12 pack. Yeah. How good were they? Yeah.

And there's like a purple one. Yes, and they were like hooked in. I'm actually going to see if they have that. Do you remember the rainbow ones? I didn't like the rainbow ones. No, and they were hooked in. I'm actually going to see if they have that. Do you remember the rainbow ones? I didn't like the rainbow ones. No, no, they weren't that special. No, because they looked good, but the flavour wasn't nice. I also used to love an advent calendar as a kid.

It was the highlight of my bloody day. I haven't. Because most of December was school holidays, so my day revolved around when am I having this choccy? I don't want to have it first thing in the morning because then I've blown my leg too early. Wow, they don't have them. They've got the traditional.

They don't have the box anymore. From memory, the fancy, colourful candy canes. I used to get them at like- The reject shop. Yeah, it was Discount Dave's in Forbes. But essentially, that's the sort of place you'd find at a discount shop. I love them. I reckon Audi would have them for sure.

Yeah, look, Mitchell, those ones. Assorted candy canes. I don't know if that's the same ones I'm thinking of. Hold on. Woolworths Assorted. Do Woolies have it? Nah. Nah.

Shocking. These ones, the rainbow ones, they sucked. Oh, Big W have them. Big W. That makes sense. Big W, of course, to the rescue. We've already compared what everyone's doing on Christmas Day. Jenna's going to be overseas.

I'll be in Bougainvillea. You'll be not in Scotland yet. No. So I will be in with my family Christmas Day. And then I fly out at quarter to 11 Christmas night. Yes. And then I know my family are going to have a Christmas hand and they'll drop me to the airport.

And then, yeah, I spend, I land in Glasgow on Boxing Day. And then I'm doing the Scottish Highlands for the week. And then I'm doing New Year's in Edinburgh. Nice. Yeah, it'd be very nice. Cool. And then London. I think I'm going to Germany and all these other places.

Ireland and yeah. Yeah. Solo travel though. I mean, goodness me. I'm going to have to get a beanie. You know, it's like minus 10. Oh, we've got the toques that Trisha sent us, the Canadian beanies. True.

I'll have to wear it and send her a photo. I found the note she left with the toques in the package. She did specify that the one you claimed as yours was for Jenna. So sorry, Jenna, Mitch robbed you of your beautiful toque. What was her justification there? I think this one's a bit girly. Yeah, right, it is a bit feminine. Does she know that we're poofs?

I think she's, well, after fucking last Wednesday, she couldn't help but know. Yeah, of course, of course. I wonder if there's one listener out there that just doesn't pay that much attention and thinks we're both straight and thinks we're both fucking Jenna. Sorry, I'm trying to get the vulgarity out of the show. Imagine us putting Jenna on the spit. Oh, my God.

That's horrific. Sorry, Jenna. Did we talk about how on the show how we almost got reunited with old mate from Housewives cookbook? Oh, I don't think we did. So we've made fun of Chrissy from Housewives of Sydney and Nicole. Yes. And they were both at the TikTok awards together. Correct.

Literally standing back to back with me. And I looked over my shoulder and I was like, shit, they're right there. And I just started freaking out a bit. I was like, I'm not going to tell you because you're going to be like, let's get a photo. I was like, no, we can't. I'm really worried that they're going to be offended. Like surely Noelle's seen the TikTok and shown her mum that we were mocking her. Oh, my God, that's true.

Noelle's a child if she would have seen that on her For You page. You and I, once someone told me, Emil, the drag queen from RuPaul's Drag Race, came up and was like, first of all, love cookbook. And second of all, I just told them about it. I was just in a conversation with Nicole and I told her how funny this video was. Oh no. And she goes, she, and Emil says, she was laughing.

You've got to go. Okay, good. So I wanted to go and find it, but then I couldn't find it. Then I saw there was a wood roasted pizza. So I went and had it. Yeah. I was too nervous. I was like, oh no.

I was too nervous in general, but also the fact that we had essentially taken the fucking piss out of them. I was like, oh no, no, no, no. I don't want to interact with them. I was scared. We've seen what they're capable of on that show. The full sprag fight we could have had. I agree.

I interviewed, who's the girl from the fur gate? Victoria. I interviewed her on my radio show and she was vicious. I could feel that if I asked a question she hadn't pre-approved, I was happy with answering. She would have given it to me, ripped me to pieces. Well, when I was at the pet show. She's pretty loose.

Yeah, she is. When I was at the pet show, Dr. Kate was presenting and she shamed me. What for? Were you wearing fur, Jenna? No. She saw her in the back of her head and thought, that has to be a mince coat. So you know how at the end of the seminars they have the question time?

No, I've never been to a cat seminar. No, Janet, Mitch and I have never ever been to a seminar full stop. Well, they have question time at the end. Right, right. I put my hand up and the guy came over with the microphone. He's like, stand up. I'm like, oh, if I have to. Right.

So I asked the question, how often is it normal for your cat to vomit? Valid question. Yes. She stood there, looked at me and said, never. And stopped and pointed at me and said, you should never let your cat vomit.

You're feeding her the wrong thing and all this and went on and on and on while I'm standing there like an idiot. And everyone goes, boo, boo, throwing tomatoes on you. That's unfair as a vet because she should know that vomiting is a very natural part of a cat's life. They hack up their own hair. It's got nothing to do with their diet. She asked me how often do I vomit? Well, you are a

cat. Yes. Oh my God. I don't like her. They do vomit. Also, sometimes it's just because they're not getting enough attention. Exactly. At those seminars, you're bloody lucky to have questions asked. It's so awkward when people go, can I get any questions? And no one asks questions. So she's lucky that you stood up. I know. Exactly.

Anyway, we probably should get out of here. Yeah, let's go. I need to go to a piss. We hope this podcast, oh, so do I. We can't go to the toilet at the same time. People will talk. I was going to put a toasty on, so I'll toast you while you pee. Okay, great.

I'm so glad we discussed this. No worries. And then when we roast Jenna, I'll take behind. Perfect, perfect game plan. All right, everyone. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today. That's all. So we do.

So we do. That was lovely. That was really nice. I love that. We all do, guys. Sometimes we're really on it. You know, when we're not thinking of gay porn and vulgarities, we can actually be a great, well-oiled machine.

We'll be back Wednesday for the final episode of the year. The last one, guys. Catch you then. See you soon. Bye, bub. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches.

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