Is It Just Me? - #184: Wet Wednesday x

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

Will 'Wet Wednesday' catch on?? 💦   In this episode: Who are Uber drivers on the phone to?! (10:21) Churi is finally on the Miley Cyrus bandwagon (16:57) Coombs’ holiday yarns (21:50) Jenna’s holiday fable (35:02) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (57:40)   Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you! Hello you! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. I don't want to bore everyone and show you my Europe trip videos. It's a bit late for that. Oh, fuck off!

Now here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Hello you! Hello you! Hello! Welcome back. Hello, you. Hello, you. Hello. Welcome back. Yeah, we're here. Pricekeeper Jenna is also here with what looks like a cauldron. Oh, yeah.

Have you clocked the new drink bottle? She suffered a big loss recently. What did I say to you when you first walked in the room? What is that? Correct. Yeah. And that's after I stopped looking at the outfit and then moved on to the water bottle. I actually felt awful.

She posted an Instagram story with her trusty emotional support water bottle broken. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, that is one of the only constants in my life, moving that big fucking drink bottle out of the camera. Because when she's got it on her right-hand side of the studio, it basically blocks her whole fucking face. It does. It's a huge drink bottle.

Can I say that for him? I'm constantly moving this drink bottle, but I was sad that it broke. And now she's got an even more monstrous fucking drink bottle as a replacement. Do you guys remember in the Simpsons movie when Homer gets stuck on that fucking boulder? Would you like to see the old bottle? Oh, in Tartar. Have you kept the remains? It's in the bin.

Don't go fishing through the bin. That's not necessary. Although we want you to believe so. You're better than that. Hold on. It's in the bin. Don't go fishing through the bin. That's not necessary. Although we want you to believe so. You're better than that. Hold on. That's Jenna's bottle. I just placed it on the table. It's a Frank Green.

And that's only half full. It's a Frank Green. What litreage is this? Two. Holy shit. What's wrong with you? Can I open it? Do you mind?

Go for it. I'm clean. Can I just ask, a drink bottle that is that bulbous and that heavy, how do you just pop that in your backpack? Oh, I hold it. You're a fool, Jenna. It's enormous and it's so impractical. This giant fucking bottle that looks like a chemical drone.

Wait a second, Mitchell. Do you have a water bottle with you? You normally bring your... Oh, I've just got the soda stream. Okay, that's yours. I've got my water bottle. Yeah. Can we post them to. I've got my water bottle. Can we post them to the IJM socials or Enduring Idiots and people can guess whose is who?

Because they're very telling. Oh, well, we've already just kind of described them in detail, haven't we? Oh, I got a new drink bottle, actually. Oh, isn't that a good feeling? It's designed for cyclists. It's insulated and it keeps it colder for two times longer. It's like a polar bear bottle or something. I win.

Jenna and I had a bet how long it would take you to bring up being a cyclist. Yeah. And I said within the first 10 minutes. And what did you say? Yeah, within the first day. So I win. The first day? It's Wednesday, mate.

I didn't say anything on Monday. Yeah, I know. That's why you... Yeah, well, you're not involved in the bet, but Jenna owes me $1,000 cash. Sorry, I'm not being mean. Yeah, it's called polar bottle. I just Googled it. You are such a cyclist. Here's mine if anyone gives a shit. Oh, you have a Yeti bottle. Yeah, I'm not being mean. Yeah, it's called Polar Bottle. I just Googled it. You are such a cyclist.

Here's mine if anyone gives a shit. Oh, you have a Yeti bottle. Yeah, I've got a silver Yeti bottle. Someone on the cruise lost their Yeti bottle and posted it in the group, and no one knew what Yeti meant. No, of course. Wait, so the cruise was big enough to warrant its own Facebook community? Yes, so other guests created it.

Oh, my God. Can I just clarify? There's a lot that's happened. Mitchell, you've already soft launched the bike, in which I'm very excited to hear about. That was a hard launch, mate. No launch has ever been harder. There's no soft launch about that.

No, you're right. You're right. And it went off really well. The comments were high. I've seen this bike too. Isn't she stunning? Oh, my God. She's a beautiful aubergine colour.

She's thin. That's why her name is Mfamwe Aubergina. Pardon me? Beautiful. Mfamwe Aubergina. Did I stutter? It's thin. That's why her name is Mfamwee Aubergina. Pardon me? Mfamwee Aubergina. Did I stutter? It's the most Mitchell Coombs name ever. Well, no, Mitchell Coombs is the most Mitchell Coombs name ever.

My bottle is named Frankie. Oh, fuck, how long did you think of that one? Jesus Christ. That was a hectic brainstorm. I can only imagine. What's his surname? Greenwood. Stupid.

God, guys, we're all over the place. Are we getting a fable today? Yes. Amazing. Yes. So Monday's episode was pretty much dedicated to your stream of consciousness as well as your holiday updates. And so now Jenna and I are going to talk about what we got up to during our lengthy break

over Christmas and whatnot. And I suppose we can be the judge, but also our idiots can be the judge of who killed it and who had the most boring one. I'm really self-conscious about talking about my holidays. Janet, Mitch called me driving in, and we normally do a call coming in on the day before for the show, and Mitch was anxious about his story. Why? It's not going to top yours, because he thinks he didn't do anything, because you and I went

on international trips. Yeah, but I was- He said, oh, have you got any fun stories from the holidays? And I was like, I've got many stories and I just fear that they won't be interesting to anyone but me. I think that'd be interesting. Like, you know, those had to be there kind of things.

Yeah, but that's what the people are invested in your life. Yeah. They're striving for it. Okay, well, we'll see. Back yourself. And we got a fable from Jenna. Normally your fables are old stories, but this is fresh. This is modern. We're into modern fables now. Yeah, modern history.. Normally your fables are old stories, but this is fresh. This is modern. We're into modern fables now. Yeah, modern history.

Because typically your fables involve some sort of horrible disaster that happened in your lifetime. You've lived many lives. Many. As we know. Jenna is perpetual, as we've discussed on this show and revealed on this show. I don't think we've even ventured into her old lives. When she does Jenna's fables, we've only been in this life

and it's been eventful enough. Yeah. What were they? Hurricanes? Correct, this life and it's been eventful enough. Yeah. What were the hurricanes? Correct, hurricanes. Earthquakes. Yeah. I didn't hear anything about a cruise going wrong, so maybe there was something that horrible. What was the cruise name? It was the Royal Princess. Charming.

Isn't that what brought COVID into this country? No, that was the Ruby Princess. How many fucking princesses are there? It's a princess cruise. They're all sisters. Got it. Are they? Yes. Is that true?

Yeah. What makes it royal? Did a royal step foot on it? Yes, Kate Middleton opened the boat. You're kidding. I mean, if they offered to name it after me, I'd probably rock up and cut a ribbon too. She didn't do much work to get a name to slush on that thing. Is there a plaque?

Yeah. I bet there is. Do they still get bottles of Moet Chandon and smash it on the hull? You know how when a new boat was built they used to smash champagne on it? Yeah, they do. They do. I watch. They have their own video system in the room,

so I watch the history of the crew. Of course you did. Did you leave the room? Yes. Okay, good. That's a good first step for you. A bit different. Well, I can't wait for the episode, you two.

Mitchell, yours. Give us a little tease of what your trip was. Sorry, there was no trip. Yeah, there was no trip. I've booked Bali for later in the year, which I'm very fucking excited about. Oh, my God. When are you going? I think June.

And honestly, I think I need to get away before then. Who are you going with? I literally have not had a proper holiday. I've been away and done things, but not like a proper holiday holiday. Oh, my God. Just you and Sean? No. There's a whole bunch of us going. Oh, my God. That's so exciting. Yeah. Not like a proper holiday holiday. Oh my God. Just you and Sean? No. There's a whole bunch of us going.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah. That's so exciting. Yeah. That'll be really fun. That's ages away. That's actually quite a while.

Have you done Bali before? No. Oh, you're going to love it. I'm going to have to brush up on my year eight Indonesian from high school. Yeah. Salamat pagi. Bike, bike, Saja. Bike, Dara Makasi.

Bike. Bike. See, that means nothing to me. I should be able to understand that, shouldn't I? No, considering you do like your bike. Yeah. Yeah, learn all the bikes. Don't want to upset our Indonesian audience.

Do we have any Indonesian listeners? I'd love to know. Let us know in the Facebook group or send us a text, whatever you need to do. I just want to know, do we have, am I going to get recognised in fucking Bali? Well, they were all fucking sat when I was in Canggu and Seminyak. No one came up to me. Oh, okay. Yeah.

We haven't cracked that market. I'm on it. Except for that one person that came up to me and thought I was Nikado Avocado. Who? That boy that eats food on YouTube. That doesn't narrow it down. Someone said, are you Nikado Avocado? I said, no.

I was offended because I googled him. Hideous. I'm going to google it now. What was it? Nikado Avocado. Do you know who he is? No. He's very famous. You'll know him when you see him. Oh, my I'm going to Google it now. What was it? Nikado Avocado. Do you know who he is? No. He's very famous.

You'll know him when you see him. Oh, my God. I know. No, that's not flattering to be asked if that's you. Google Jenna. I mean, he's obviously leaning into it. He's trying to look like a fucking pig. Some local Indonesian went, Nikado Avocado, we'd love to have you at our restaurant.

I said, I'm Mitch Turi from Kiss FM. He's made a living out of stuffing his fat fucking face with maccas and whatnot. And it's like, he's living his life. He's enjoying himself. He's made a living out of stuffing his fat fucking face with Maccas and whatnot. And it's like he's living his life. He's enjoying himself. That's fine. But it's not someone that you'd want to be mistaken for. What is with these thumbnails? It's not well. Although he does have a Filipino lover.

She's out of practice with the podcasting. Are you still going with the two girls, three cats thing? Yes, yes. We have a new episode coming out soon. Do you? What's the topic of this three cats thing? Yes, yes. We have a new episode coming out soon. Her rival podcast. Do you? What's the topic of this latest episode? We get our colleague's daughter on. It's a cat podcast.

Yeah, she just got a cat. Whose daughter? Noz's. Uh-huh. What's the cat's name? Radio. For fuck's sake. Sorry.

Hi, I'm a nurse and I just got a cat. Oh, what did you name it? IV drip. Vaguely related to my place of work, I guess. I actually was talking to my mechanic. I said, do you have any pets with you? He went, oh, we've got a little cat. Oh, what's his name?

Hayondo I30. I thought, okay. I was chatting with my Uber driver the other night. Oh, were you? Really? On the way home. What did you say? And I said, oh, yeah. How's life? And he said, yeah, no, I just got a super driver the other night. Oh, were you? Really? On the way home. What did you say? And I said, oh, yeah, how's life?

And he said, yeah, no, I just got a cat and I called it complimentary Mentos. Yes, that's interesting, isn't it? It's gorgeous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And is it true you got Isabella a friend? Yes. TikTok live stream? I just call her T.

Yeah, and that works. That's cute. Jenna, that's the dumbest name I've ever heard for a cat. I didn't come up with it. Radio! Come on. I didn't come up with it. No, we love Noz and we love his daughter.

Don't put words in my mouth. All right, if it's your first time listening, we start the show with an Is It Just Me? Something we've noticed Hayter appreciate. Now, new for 2024 and in Season 6 6 we have idjams on both shows. Both episodes are in a week. Every episode we kick off with one each. Correct. Yes. Because why not?

Well, that's it. But hey, the phone call thing, the is it just you, that's now happening on a Monday so that's not gone anywhere. Yeah. Is it just Monday is what we call it. And then Wednesday is is it just me Wednesday's episodes. We've got to come up with a name for the Wednesday one because we do more rogue shit on a Wednesday. What could we call it?

Why don't we put Jenna in a wet t-shirt and we spray her with it and it's Wet Wednesdays. Every week to make sure the name makes sense. I reckon by week three I'll be off it. I don't think anyone needs to get wet. Well, Mitch and I both have an engine this week. And then coming up, I'm so excited for The Fable and then Mitch's big story of his break. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm ready. Yeah. People love you for you. Just didn't get up to much, that's all. That's fine. Time will tell. Time will tell. Well, I did the first Idjim of the new season.

Do you want to do this one? Yeah, sure. Let's go. All right. Is it just me or? Speaking of Uber drivers, who the fuck are they on the phone to? Oh, dear. Oh, that's cool.

More often than not, I always make the error if I walk in and I go, hi, they go, hi. And then three minutes later, they ask a question and I go, oh, yeah. And they go, I'm on the phone. I go, oh, sorry. What are you asking me? Yes. So, you know, I just joked, oh, yeah. And they go, I'm on the phone. I go, oh, sorry. What are you asking me? So, you know, I just joked, oh, I was chatting with my Uber driver the other night. I was thinking about it and it's been a long time since I've actually had a chat with an Uber driver.

Because nine times out of ten, they're always on the phone. And they're speaking really softly. Sometimes, very, very rarely, they'll ask me beforehand, is it okay if I make a phone call? And I'm like, yeah, of course, go for it. That's fine. But sometimes I'll just get in and they'll ask me beforehand, is it okay if I make a phone call? And I'm like, yeah, of course, go for it. That's fine. Yeah. But sometimes they'll just get in and they'll just be murmuring. And they don't sound very engaged in the conversation, but they don't fucking hang up.

No, I actually have an answer for this. I always wonder because how does the other person hear them? Because they're like, hello. No. They're like, yeah. I think it's because a lot of these people have families back home in other countries and that's the only time they can talk to them. So I've heard.

But how do they hear them? Yeah, they don't sound like they're having a fucking heartfelt catch-up with their loved one. They sound like the wife's chewing his ear off and he's just like, yes, dear. No, these people are having to work 40 fucking hours of work to get, you know, one bit of cash. I'm not saying that it's an issue.

It's just something I've noticed, if you like. Got it, got it. That every Uber I get in, they're always on the phone now. It's been ages since I've had a solid yarn with an Uber driver. I used to love chatting with them, but now they don't want to borrow me. Oh, Mitchell, no, you didn't. You would have asked these questions. How are you?

Been busy tonight? Do you enjoy doing this? Nah. Really? No, I've had great chats with Uber drivers. Really? Yes. Yeah, that's a good thing. Yeah, I got in one, this is years ago when they used to talk to you.

Wow, vendetta, yeah. And they were like, oh, I said, oh, you're listening to The Edge 96.1, are you? Yeah, I used to work there. And he goes, oh, I love The Edge, I love K-Sara, I miss Mike and Emma. And I said, no, they're still on air. You know, they've just moved stations.

And he goes, where can I listen to them? And so I helped tune his radio so we could listen to them at the new place. Oh, that's really sweet. See, that's very nice. You made his day. You made his day. Exactly. Yeah.

It's also exclusively an Uber thing. Like I've been in cabs and they won't shut up. Cab drivers love to talk. Oh, they really do. They love to shit on Uber drivers. But I love that. I love having a yarn with them sometimes. Yeah, now sometimes it can be a bit – read the room.

You know when you book an Uber Comfort, you can choose the conversation level and the air con level. Really? Yeah. Oh, I don't like that. That's rude just saying, hello, pick me up in your vehicle, but don't fucking talk to me. I don't like that.

You can do quiet, chat preferred, cool, colder, hot, warm. You can choose everything. Oh, you know what happened to me the other day? I went to my friend's place, caught an Uber there. Yeah. And that was at like 6 p.m. And then I went to go home at 11.30 p.m. or something. Yeah.

And I reach into my pocket, can't find my keys. I'm rummaging through my Mutt pack. They're not in there. And I'm like, maybe I'll call the Uber driver first before I pop back upstairs because odds are they fell out of my pocket in the Uber. I called him and sure enough, they were there. I could hear the family in the background. He'd already gone home to Liverpool.

He's fucking an hour's drive away. And so I'm like, oh, God. And he goes, I will bring them to you for $95 cash. Oh. Extortion. I know. And that's when I got a bit sus. I was like, well, how do I know they're mine?

They could be anyone's keys. I'm not paying $95 if they're not even there. Send me a photo. And so we did. And I went, oh, no, they're mine. Shit. They're my keys. So I said, all right, I'll go to the ATM.

Off you pop. In the car, please. And so he came in. It wasn't any trouble because I was like, he's actually going out of his way. He's at home. Yeah. That is true. And so I actually paid him more than $95.

Oh, that's sweet. That's nice. And we both had our guards up when he got there. We were both so sassy on each other. I'm like, are you going to rip me off? Yeah. Are you going to rip me off? And so as they say, show me the money.

I did. I showed him. And then he was just like, oh, I'm so glad you're getting home safely. And I'm like, no, no, thank you. You're my hero. Thank you so much. You're a lifesaver.

You're the best. We were both so like sketchy and then once he saw the money, best friend. It was amazing. I said, tell the wife I said hello. Totally. Try not to wake the kids up when you're pulling the driveway. It's late, mate.

Well, he's just happy that he's got something to tell his wife. The conversation was boring for the last four hours. He's like, honey, guess what? Well, he didn't sound like, when I got the Uber at 6pm earlier on, he didn't sound like he was having a good fucking chat with her on the phone, let me tell you. You know what? Your next Mitchell Coombs live show, you're going to see Trent in the front seat.

You're going to be like, Trent, you're the driver. He's like, I'm such a fan now. I'm converted. His wife's there too. Yeah, and the kids. The kids, of course, yeah. Anyway, that's all I have to say about that. Yeah, all right.

If you're an Uber driver, you can do what you like, absolutely. If you prefer to be on a phone call, that's absolutely fine. But do it with a bit of gusto. At least give me something to eavesdrop on. Yeah, 100%. Make it worth telling your friends about. Yeah. We're all on nights out.

We're all going to see people. Give me something to gossip about. Oh, my God. Actually, I just remembered one time I was getting an Uber back from the city at like 6 a.m. This was in my uni days. Big party. The sun was up.

Yeah. And I can't remember her name, but this woman goes, I'm so sorry. I'm getting a call from my daughter. I think it was, let's say Casey. We'll go with that. And it's on speaker. And Casey's like, Mom, Mom, can you go pick me up? And she takes it off speaker immediately.

Oh, my gosh. She's like, Casey, calm down. I've just got to drop these people off and then I'll be straight there. No, Casey, put Hannah's mum on. Put her on. What's happened? And I'm there like, oh, eating it up. This is drama.

It was juicy. I think I remember this. Yeah. And I was like, is Casey all right? Can we do an investigation into what happened to Casey on that day? Oh, it was fascinating. And I was in the back with a friend like, oh. You know, if you went back on your Uber receipts,

you'd be able to find that driver's name. You could probably message her. Oh, he was from 2016. Oh, no way. Do you reckon they have it? No, I think they could. Casey, I hope she was all right. But, yeah, the mum was a bit fucked off because she was not supposed

to stay out that late And she lied, she said she was at Hannah's house But she wasn't, that was part of the issue That's the drama I want from Uber drivers going forward please And she was like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry I'm like, no, thank you Good luck with Casey, thanks for the drive You're my best, for what it's worth

It's none of my business, but I would ground her if I were you Did she sound a bit lippy? Oh, the attitude on that girl. Mum's at work. She is at work. And it's the crack of dawn. God, the entire little bitch. Yeah, I agree.

I agree. Getting all riled up to this day. You are, I know. Breathe. Shall I do my age and break things up? Okay, here we go. Is it just me or? Are you all of a sudden on team Miley Cyrus?

Yes. Welcome to the club, mate. I know. I love Miley. I know. Where have you been, bitch? Well, I've always been team Miley. One of my most viral videos is interviewing Miley when I left her on that Zoom call and didn't realise she was there.

Oh, yeah. You were coughing. I was coughing. It was funny. And I've always loved Miley because she handled that well. Hello. I thought she was in the room. That was funny.

And I've always loved Miley because she handled that well. Hello. Hello. But ever since the Grammys, which are like last week at this point, I have fallen in love with this woman. Everyone is Team Taylor Swift. Only within the last bloody seven days you've fallen in love with her. Really? There's something that I can relate to.

And whether or not it's the fact that she went through an awful situation with a terrible ex and she's now – Oh, Jenna and I had bets on how long it would take you to bring that up. I won. Hilarious. After 10 minutes. How much? I said a day.

Did you go through a breakup? I didn't mention a breakup. I've had many exes. How do you know I'm not talking about Raoul that I met on my recent trip? There we go. We got a detail. Yeah, yeah. Did he give you gonorrhea?

It was terrible. Hilarious, Jenna. Real funny. Sorry, spit it out. You relate to Miley because she went through a divorce. Yeah, I went through a divorce. And you can buy yourself flowers, can't you? Yeah, twice over.

Can't you? Yeah. And I can hold my own hand. Is that it? Yes. Yeah. And I can dance till the end. What is it?

Write your name in the sand. No, I did that. You live in the Shire. You could do that easily. I could do it, yeah. I did do it in Paris too. The mental image of you doing that, just picking up a stick and writing Mitch in the sand. I mean, like, see?

It's so nice not to have a ball and chain holding me back. I couldn't do this before. All I ever wanted to was write Mitch in the sand. What does that lyric mean? What was helping her from writing Miley in the sand? No, I'd imagine that, because she can write her own name. I imagine he did it. And when they broke up, she was like, oh, he used to do this for me.

And she's like, no, you know what? I can do that. Right. That's easy. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You're just writing your name on toilet stall doors instead. Okay.

Hilarious. There was just one moment when she was on stage. She won her first Grammy. She actually won two Grammys. Can we? Come on. That's incredible. Every year, I'm like, she won her first Grammy. She actually won two Grammys. Can we – come on. That's incredible. Every year, I'm like, this is her year.

During the Younger Now era, I'm like, surely. No. She was nominated for Wrecking Ball and she didn't win it. I know, right? Every year, I'm like, surely Plastic Heart has got to get – no, nothing. Yeah, yeah. But I was watching her perform and actually, from the moment she walked on the red carpet, I think she was in like a Margiela gold pea suit and then she had her hair blown out.

She looked like Mufasa. I i'm like this woman is radiant did you see a walk on the red carpet and there were some were using iphones and she goes iphones iphones like she was she's like no i'm miley cyrus shoot me with the camera like what a queen anyway this is the moment she was on stage she was doing flowers live and i'm just like i love this woman. Ready? Does that make you happy? Yeah. Yeah, good for her. Look at her dancing and twirling her hair and her big old veneers are just on show.

Like, come on. So she was doing like a bit of back chat within her own lyrics. Totally. She was screaming at everyone because no one was dancing and she's like, don't act like you don't know the song. It literally was the biggest song of the year, hence the award. Correct. Like, good for her. Like, she's just healed.

She's moved on. She's fucking hot. She doesn't give a shit about anyone and she wins an award. Like, isn't that what everyone wants in life? You're very much preaching to the converted. I've been a big Miley fan for years. I know. I always drunk buy her merch online.

We've discussed this. You've worn the merch on one of the shows before. The only thing that I struggle with as a Miley fan is standing by her when she makes dreadful hair decisions, including that disaster. No, I love that hair. Like the mullet era. I was like, God, you're pushing it, Destiny. You're pushing it.

That's her real name. Is it? Yes, Destiny Hyde Cyrus. Oh, I'm not a real... Are you kidding? Fake fan over here. No, I'm not. Didn't even know that was her real name.

I'm a new fan. Do you reckon she'd have the same success if she was Destiny Cyrus? I don't actually think she would. Like, fuck, what's her porn name if that's her real name? I think she could. Destiny. No, no way her porn name if that's her real name? I think she could. Destiny. No, no way. Name one other famous Destiny.

Exactly. Thank you. His child. Other than the three kids. And look how that turned out for them. Destiny's child. Yeah, the mullet era during Unplastic Hearts. I was like.

I loved the mullet era. Nah. That's when I interviewed her. It was a big mistake because she had beautiful hair before that. Yeah. And then the beautiful hair came back and she decided to do that to it at the Grammys, that big poofy situation. I was like, oh, Miley, you stupid girl.

What are you doing? I liked it. But don't you look at Taylor Swift and go, you're so annoying. And then you look at Miley and you go, you're so cool. Why do we have to compare them both? Can't they both be amazing? Oh, thanks a fucking lot. I'm not speaking now.

That actually really suits me. Is it just me? You can follow the show online. Just search Couple of Mitches. If you don't, you're a dickhead. All right, Mitch has left the building. He's no longer speaking. Oh, you couldn't help yourself.

I'm just being attacked. And you know what? Today I was going to reveal everything that happened in Europe. But no, I'm not going to say a thing. I'm not. I'm not. A little peek behind the scenes, idiots. He did reveal everything that happened in Europe while the mics were on.

And I threatened to edit it into my next episode. But he's like, don't. We've ever gotten a giant fight. I'm like, you dumb fuck. It would be so easy for me to just put that in the episode. You could have ruined my career a hundred times over. Actually, how many episodes have we done? There was nothing career ruining about it.

It was actually quite boring, frankly. So I don't know why you're withholding it. Speaking of boring, should I talk about my holiday? Well, who's we're doing first, Jenna's or your trip stories? Why don't I kick it off? Because Jenna's going to be a dramatic ending. Yeah. I think.

If her fables are anything to go by. Yeah. So, yeah, I don't have any epic stories about going to nightclubs or catching diseases. I didn't do heaps over the holidays. Yeah. Which is why I'm nervous to talk about it because my fear is that it's boring. I think it's interesting, but it might be boring to other people. No.

Yeah, no, no, no, no. Mitchell, we're fine. We're ready. We're friends. We're friends first. I don't think it'll be boring. And you're really hyping it up to be terrible. Give yourself some slack.

I'm not going to come out the gates and lie and be like, I've got these epic stories. I'm being self-aware, if anything. Okay, good, good. Yeah. So just tell us the biggest thing that happened on the trip. Oh, see, that's the problem. I don't have the biggest thing. I've just got a few things, the little things.

Go, go, go. Spit it out. Okay, well, where should I start? Best one. I've just got a few things, a little thing. Go, go, go. Spit it out. Okay. Well, where should I start? Best one. I'll do them in order. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. Chronological. That's a good place to start. Yeah. So we were going home for Christmas in Bogengate, right? Sean and I. And we got in the car and as we're about to leave Sydney, I indicate left and a big thing comes up on the car saying, check rear indicator.

Yeah. I was like, check rear indicator. Yeah. I was like, oh, fuck. So we pulled over and sure enough, the left indicator at the back wasn't working. Oh, no. And Sean was in such a tease about that because he's a stickler for the rules. I was like, fuck it. It'll be right. And I said, listen, we've got a family friend that lives in Western Sydney, 40 minutes drive

away, and she's good with cars. Sian knows that shit. She'll fix the blinker. It she's good with cars. Sian knows that shit. She'll fix the blinker. It's all good. Sian's great. We know Sian. So I was like, all we have to do is drive to Sian's place. There's only one left turn to get there.

And in that situation, I'll just pop the hazards on because I can't indicate left, but if I put the hazards on, then at least they'll know that this car's about to do something. Keep an eye out. It was later pointed out to me that by putting the hazards on because the left one's out, it's actually worse. I'm indicating right. That's the only one that works.

Oh, I didn't even think of that. No, that's a good point because the light's broken. Yep. And so we got to Sian's place. We tried to fix it. She couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. A waste of drive. The bulbs were fine.

The fuses were fine. None of the mobile mechanics would come out because they were all booked. And so I thought, let's just risk it, Sean. We're driving to Bougainvillea. And I reckon I won't even need the left-hand indicator that much. I don't think I'll need it. Guess how many? I counted.

Guess how many left turns there were? How many? Three. To get to Bougainvillea. A seven-hour drive. There's only three left turns. That makes a lot of sense. That's very cool.

I actually like that. That's a good story. And one of them, one of the left turns was in Bathurst and there was a left turning lane anyway. So why the fuck else would I be in it if I wasn't turning left? And the other two were in parks in Bougainvillea. There were no cars around. No police to get you. Isn't that amazing?

No, that's actually – I like that. Yeah, it's not lining up for two hours in Berlin winter to get to an exclusive nightclub. So my indicator was out, but I barely needed it. Yeah. Okay. Oh, I like that. Yeah, right? I actually really enjoyed that.

That was a nice little story. Okay, so you get to Bogengate. Anything there? Yeah. I think I mentioned in the last episode of last year, one of them, that I wanted to take my nieces and nephew to the zoo. Wouldn't that be a cute thing to do? Double zoo.

But mum was shitting on the idea because she thought it was going to be too hot. We ended up going. Oh. We ended up going. Gorgeous. I didn't realise that it's a big fucking zoo, isn't it? It's not like an aquarium where you just wander around the halls. No, it's massive.

It's five kilometres. I was viciously attacked by a magpie. That's way more interesting than anything I'm about to say. Fuck you. I really want to hear that story. Now, tell me about your nieces and nephews and how they enjoyed it. Anna frothed the meerkat. Uh-huh.

Yeah, that's good. Noah fucking loves an elephant. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm sure he does. Eleanor didn't know what the fuck was going on. Yeah, that's good. Noah fucking loves an elephant. Uh-huh, yeah, I'm sure he does. Eleanor didn't know what the fuck was going on. Yeah, no, no. But because it was such a big zoo, we ended up hiring bikes. Yes.

And that was the first time I'd ridden a bike in many years. And I was like, A, I miss this, and B, I'm fucking good at this. Yeah. Everyone kept commenting, Mitchell, you look like you were born for that. Hold on, hold on. You look really graceful on the bike. Lucky it wasn't magpie season. No, no, no.

Well, as a cyclist, Jenna, my pro tip is if you put googly eyes on the top of your helmet. You look like a dick. Well, no one's looking at you from above except magpies, and they don't like eye contact. Even if you're going on your dumb bitch walks like you. Yeah. If you see a magpie and just make unbroken eye contact, they won't come near you. They're cowards. They only sweep you when they can't see your face.

I don't want to try that. Well, 10-year-old me didn't know that. No, but now you do. Oh, you know for next time. Yes, I do. Right. So that's kind of the inception of the bike. So now would you tell the bike story?

Because I'm enjoying all this so far. Yeah. There's not much story. I just got a bike. No, we saw the videos. You rode up that hill. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Well, actually's here's something i went to my local bike shop yeah i walked in and i thought it was going to be a pretty straightforward interaction hi i'm here to buy a bike yeah sell me one um no one said hi how can i help you and i was looking pretty fucking clueless just wandering around it's not a big bike shop it's not like heaps of aisles i can go down. I'm wandering around just being like, can someone offer to help me? It was half an hour later that I was like, fuck this, I'm out. So I left that one. I boycotted that business and then went to the next nearest one

and they were very helpful. Wow, isn't that interesting? That's a good lesson for small business owners. Definitely. Good story. No, that's good. If you go to a bike shop and there's someone looking clueless about the bikes, chances are they don't have one and might want to buy one. That's true. That's right. If you go to a bike shop and there's someone looking clueless about the bikes,

chances are they don't have one and might want to buy one. That's true. That's right. This podcast is also informative as well as entertaining, so that's a good story. So I got the bike and I'm loving it. My Fenway. My Fenway Aubergine or is it Aubergine?

Because it's purple. It's fucking beautiful. Aubergine. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm loving it. Even if I'm hungover, I go for bike rides because I actually enjoy it. Wow, that's great. That's impressive.

The hangover was enough of an excuse for me not to go for a walk. I'm like, no, I'm not doing it. But I even do it when I'm hungover, ride the bike. I'm loving it. I've had a seat on the bike. I've ridden Mitchell's bike. I've ridden Miffenwick. I don't think you have. I have. I've sat on it. Oh, right. We didn't take it outside. No, she was in your living room. She's gorgeous. I'm sticking to the parks for the time being.

Yeah, of course. I'm a bit too nervous to go on the roads, but everyone's dogs at this park have started to fuck me off. So on Sunday I'm doing a cycling in the city course to build up my confidence on the road. Too weird. How does that work? I don't know.

I just booked the course and then I rock up with my bike and they tell me when to use the bell and when to put it in. You know, you have to indicate with your hand. Yeah. I'm used to not having indicators. Yeah. But for some reason right now, I feel really self-conscious sticking my hand out.

I feel like a fuckwit. No, no, no, no, no. Well, that's why I'm doing the course so that I can be like, nah, I've studied this. I've studied this. I can do it. I prefer to have a hand. If I'm behind a cyclist, put the hand out. I like to know what's going on. Well, that's why I don't go on the road because I feel like an idiot putting my hand out. But after Sunday, when I do do it. I prefer to have a hand. If I'm behind a cyclist, put the hand out. I like to know what's going on.

Well, that's why I don't go on the road because I feel like an idiot putting my hand out. But after Sunday, when I do my course. Mitchell, these are great stories. I'm listening still. And great facts. I mean, you could move on from the bike now. I'm probably done with that. The bike's done.

There's not actually a lot to say there. What else happened to me? Any trauma? Any incidents? Anything funny? God, that'd be funny for the pod. This is like a feel good story. Great. Love pod. This is like a feel-good story. Great, love it. This is like a give-back.

Yep. So, when I moved to the new suburb I'm in, I had to sort of start from scratch with everything. I had to get a new chemist, a new go-to supermarket. You know how it is. I didn't need to get a new hairdresser. I've tracked down Franco, so that's fine. Franco's back to wiggle, yep.

And I was like, I need to get a new GP, a new go-to. When I was in 5Doc, I used to have an amazing GP, Dr. Madeline. I loved her, and it felt like she actually cared. Yeah, that's all you need. It makes all the difference. Have you ever gone to a GP to get a mental health care plan, and then it's like, okay, and then they give you the mental health care plan, not to go to the shrink?

Yes. She's like, oh, Mitchell, I'm so sorry. Like she was so gorgeous. And then when I was living in five dog a few years ago, when she was my go to GP, she just vanished. She wasn't there anymore. And I'm like, where did Dr. Madeline go? Yeah.

The missing GP. My missing GP. I loved her. What happened? She's alive. Well, yes. Oh, good. Phew.

Well, she ended up coming back in five dock. I was like, Madeline's back! Yeah. And it turns out she was on maternity leave. So we were reunited, but then I left five dock. But you could still, I still drive to Glebe to see my great GP. But now she's vanished again. Oh, okay. Oh, no. But now that's a good story. However. Oh, fuck. This is the feel good part.

Uh-huh. I was at a yoga class recently. Yep, you're into that. And I was like, is that Madeline? To this day, I don't know if it's her. It just looked an awful lot like her, which reminded me of her. I hadn't thought about her for a while. So I Googled her. Guess where she works now?

Where? Fucking down the end of my street. Oh, my God. Oh, in the bike store? She didn't serve you. Full circle. She's a bitch now. She doesn't want to talk to you.

No, the point is I found Madeline, and I've literally got an appointment with her tomorrow. Okay. She had a two-month waiting list and had to book an appointment. I'm not ill. I just had to get in. So tomorrow I'm going to have to make some shit up just so I can get in with Madeline. Okay. Can you not say I found Madeline on this podcast?

It's highly triggering. Dr. Madeline. Yeah, well, you're 50 cents off donating to the kiddio there. Why? What do you mean? No, no, no no no no i've already owed two bucks this fucking year wait so you've made a doctor's appointment just to be reunited yes because she only takes that she only takes certain amount of new patients but you're not new well i tried to fucking explain that to the guy on reception who was such a bitch by the way um but it doesn't count because it was a different doctor's. But anyway, the point is I'll tell Madeline you said hi.

That was something good that happened. I found her. Good. Mitchell, these stories are fantastic. Are they? I'm probably a cat. I'm running out. Yeah, no, I'm probably – my cup is full with Mitch staying at home stories.

Yeah. Any adrenaline moments? Did you fall off the bike? No, no. So far, so good. How are you and Sean? Fine. How's Isabella? No, no. So far, so good. How were you and Sean? Fine. How's Isabella?

Yeah, how's Isabella? Gorgeous. She's actually become very affectionate. Borderline needy. Leaps and bounds. She's not an anxious little girl anymore. Really? That's beautiful.

Pilates? Yep, so mild. Your hair looks nice. Yeah, it looks very pretty. You're in a nice singlet, yeah. And you've got rings on. I do looks nice. Yeah, it looks very pretty. Yeah, I got a new piece. You're in a nice singlet, yeah. And you've got rings on. I do.

Yeah. Oh, wow. What else? No, we didn't. Do you know what? This is probably all I've got left. Yeah, that's all right. I was probably at my peak anyway.

It's probably all I can take. Something exciting that happened was, so full story, is that someone messaged me because they saw an instagram story i posted around the house and said i love your couch where'd you get it here's a nice and so i went on to the website to copy and paste the link just to send it to them and then while i was on the website i saw the reviews and all the reviews were saying it's a bit too fucking firm it's not a comfy couch it's too firm right i'd never noticed, but then I thought about it and I was like, gee, my mattress is a bit firm.

Like I like the mattress for that reason. I quite like a firm mattress. But if my couch is firm too, I've got nowhere to relax. And I wonder if I'm a tense bitch all the time. Yeah, maybe that's finally the reason. Yep. I figured it out and so I've got a new mattress topper. Oh, congrats.

Because I'm like, well, I can't really do anything about the couch, but I can get a new mattress topper. Oh, that's. Because I'm like, well, I can't really do anything about the count. That's exciting. But I can get a new mattress topper. Oh, that's clever. Oh, it's heavenly. Yeah, no, I've got a mattress topper. Oh, it's amazing. It's called like the-

Pillow top? Mine's the Neptune blanket, I believe. Oh, gorgeous. Stunning. Not sponsored. That was really exciting for me. Yeah. Yeah, I'm having a better night's sleep.

My neck feels better. Everything. Just writing that one down. My back. I just want to tell a friend. Don't get me started on my pussy and my crack. No, I don't think we should actually. You mustn't.

We don't have the time. I insist you don't. Well, Mitchell, as riveting as they were, I think that we're probably capped. That's a lot of stories. They were great. You had more stories than I had about Europe. Jenna, that sounded sarcastic. No, I really enjoyed them and I learnt a lot about magpies and bike riding.

Yeah. And you're going to Bali later in the year, so we'll get stories from Bali. Yeah. Well, are you saying they weren't good stories? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just different. Just different to what we've come to expect. At least I went into detail, unlike you and the fucking fucks overseas.

What do you guys want from me? I had fun, and that's the end of that. In what cities did you sleep with people? No names, just what cities? Listen, I came back from Melbourne. Wouldn't have said came. Let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if there were some bastard sons coming out of Europe. So you did have a gangbang with the straight couple at Broughton Hyman.

You knocked her up. Ick. Knocked her up. You can say that again. Give me the ick. Okay. All right. Shall we move on to Fable Time?

Yes. Yes, I agree. Jenna's move on to fable time? Yes. Yes. I agree. Jenna's fable time is, if you're new here or if you haven't heard one of these before, Jenna has lived many, many a life. Yeah. Her life is perpetual. She's lived in many different generations, timelines.

The theory is that she is what killed the dinosaurs. Yeah. She was Eve's cousin. Yeah. It's true. It goes back that far. Well, everyone said the serpent dropped the apple, but if you look at all the paintings, there's cousin. Yeah. It's true. It goes back that far. Well, everyone said the serpent dropped the apple, but if you look at all the paintings, there's hands.

And the snake-like behavior continues to this day. Totally. Exactly. You can see it in the oil painting. I went to the Louvre recently and I saw it. I saw it. You actually, yeah, do look a lot like the Mona Lisa. Yeah.

Interesting. Yeah. No comment. So you have another fable for us. Yes, I do. Okay. Okay. So this is about your holiday. Yes. My. Yeah. No comment. So you have another fable for us? Yes, I do. Okay. Okay, so this is about your holiday. Yes, my cruising holiday.

And as we know, your holidays never end well. So was this a disaster? It ended nicely. Have you got the fable music? Of course it's ready to go. There we go. All right, Jenna's third fable. So I was so excited for my royal princess cruise.

And as soon as I got there, I had to wait three hours to get on board. Did your co-host come to wave you off? Yeah, she did. Tammy did? Yeah, she did. And we FaceTimed as the boat left. Are you guys in a relationship? No.

Oh. I was going to say. She's married. It sounds like she's really rubbing in how much closer she is with her other co-hosts compared to us. Anyway, she would never answer my calls if I tried to FaceTime her. We were FaceTiming and then the Royal Princess did the Love Boat theme song with the horn. Oh, that was the horn. Yeah, the Love Boat theme song is the horn.

How long did it go for? Because we were theorising. About three minutes. Oh, that's too much. For a horn. Yeah. That's not what a purpose of a horn is. And so close to Tarongazoo, you'd spook the fucking giraffes.

Oh, those poor kawakas. No, but my other co-host, Sam. You can add an extra syllable to kwaka. Kawakas. My other co-host, Sam, she said that she hears that a lot and didn't know where it came from, so now she does. Ah, because she's close to the harbour as well. Yes, yes.

Sorry, she just hears the Love Boat theme song for three minutes sometimes and has never wondered where the fuck it's coming from? Yes, that's correct. Does she need a referral? I can recommend Dr Madeline. Yeah, of course. Oh, yeah, maybe. All right, sorry, continue.

Anyway, it was going really, really lovely. Who were you there with? With my mum. So I was FaceTiming Sam and my mum was in the room. Do you reckon the reason the other holidays have gone south is because the boys were there? Dad and the brother weren't there this time. It might have run smoothly.

That's true. The sea days were interesting. The what? What's a sea day? A sea day is the travel between the destinations. So from Sydney to Vanuatu. When you're at sea. Yes, when you're completely girt.

Yes, yes, girt. Girt is awful. By sea. That's when the abuse started. I think I met a girt in Europe. Sorry. That's when the abuse started. Oh, no.

From who? So they have the Princess Pata every day, which is an itinerary of all the events and activities going on every day. Bingo? Yeah. Yeah, so I did Zumba. I did line dancing.

I did wake up and dance. I did art gallery auction. Did you buy any art? I accidentally bought a Scooby-Doo art thing for $700. Accidentally? They gave me mimosas. Oh, dear, oh, dear. Because we didn't think anyone would buy this Scooby-Doo painting.

Anyway. Did you actually pay for it? Yeah, it got delivered last week. I forgot about it. Oh my gosh. What is it? It's 700, you said? Yes.

For Scooby, is Shaggy in it and Velma at least for it? It's like a Halloween thing. What? How did you accidentally bid? Maybe because your hands quiver? They thought that was an accidentally bid? Maybe because your hands quiver They thought that was an auction bid No, no, okay, so Because it bid at $90

I was like, oh, I'll have that for $90 I didn't take into account the shipping The framing Got it What? All of that So that's how they get you Yeah

Framing, you've always said that, Mitchell To my house the other day Can you zoom in, please? Oh my god That's the world's worst piece of art. Sure. Okay. Can you just repeat how much you paid for that?

It was $790 or something. Fucking hell. That's worse than an earthquake. You're right. That is a disaster. Yes. Anyway, so that happened and it didn't really sink in until I saw my credit. I wouldn't say sink.

It don't say sink. It don't really sink in until I saw my credit. I wouldn't say sink. It don't say sink. It don't say sink. Anyway, it wasn't until the fruit and vegetable carving that things took a turn. There's only so many fruits and or vegetables that you can carve. Pumpkins, yes, but you can't go carving bananas. You can carve a melon. No, they're pretty impressive. Jenna, we don't need photos.

Before I show you the photos, it's the events that led up to these photos. Yeah, I can only imagine. That would be pretty traumatic. Pretty traumatic, yeah. They're pretty bold to trust you with any sort of carving device. Yeah, truly. Any sort of blade in Jenna's hands. Jesus.

Oh, my God, you make that. No, I didn't make it. I watched them make it. What is it? It's a rat made out of what? Wait, did you have the option to participate but you didn't? No, no one could participate. So you just's a rat made out of what? Wait. Did you have the option to participate but you didn't? No. No one could participate.

So you just watch other people carve fruit and shit? Yeah. Anyway. You could watch Ready, Steady, Cook. You could with me. There's nothing else on the boat, so that's the most entertaining part. Okay, got it. There's got to be more than that.

All right. You said there's a turn and there's been abuse, so get to it. So I was watching the carving, really entertained by it, and at the end everybody could go up and take photos of each carving. Yeah, which you did. And I was very excited to do it. I waited in line and it came to my turn and I was taking my photos and because the ship was primarily made up of old people,

I got abused and accused of pushing in. To take a photo of someone else's food carving. That's a big deal to the elderly. Yeah, so one of them says, oh, young people these days don't know what patience means. Another one says, yeah, what does patience mean to them? Then another one added it, and then another, and another, and another. The problem with these old biddies is that because they're partially deaf,

they don't realise how loud they're being. Yes. Yes. And I was really embarrassed. And you knew they were talking about you. And I started to tear up. I got really upset. You would.

You would. Really upset. And they were all like, look, she pushed in. She pushed in. She's taking those photos. Oh, this poor lady here. Betty's been waiting for five minutes and she pushed in and all that. And then the staff had to come in.

I bet Betty's going to take a photo on the iPad. And they all had the iPad. Yeah, with a folio case that folds down. And the digital cameras as well. Yeah, they had the cameras. So staff had to, Alistair, one of the cruise directors, had to come down and kind of intervene and be like, no, it's okay, everybody.

We're forming a line. And then accused me of pushing in. Alistair did? Yeah. Oh, no, it's okay, everybody. We're forming a line. And then accused me of pushing in. Alistair did? Yeah. Oh, no. Anyway, I was crying while I was getting these photos. Crying? Yes, I was very upset.

Are they live photos that you just showed us? Could you hold your finger down? Oh, my God. Can we hear the weeps? Would potentially they be live? No, I had to. No, they're not live. They're not live.

Damn it. Oh, of course. Sick. Because you lined up for so long. Well, actually, no, you didn't. You cut in. Yeah. What you should have done is just let the intrusive thoughts take over.

No, but the thing is. While you're there and these people are talking smack, you pick up that fucking blade and you teach them a lesson. No, the thing is. I'm going to carve you, Dot. I'm going to carve your melon, Linda. It wasn't until I got back to the table where my mum was sitting and explained what had happened.

Of course. And she's like, oh, no. And I'm like, I'm going to get those women back. Can we do a dramatic reenactment? You do the Dot Wiggins voice and talk smack about Jenna. Just muttering under your breath very loudly. We'll get the camera, Paul. It's in the leather bag.

Here we go. We're next in line. That young girl pushed in. Is that a ghost? Is it a ghoul? That dangerous ridden girl pushed in. Is that a ghost? There's a ghoul. That dangerous ridden girl pushed in. Don't give her this, guys. Looks like she's covered in a fine thin powder.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Are you a fat bitch? Oh, my. I'm going back to my quarters. Oh, no, she's crying. No, she's crying for what reason? Girls who say shit make them like they used to.

That was really triggering. That's what happened. Can I imagine? Why didn't you walk up, Jenna? Well, it wasn't. I didn't have the courage until I sat back down and tried to identify. Okay, okay. Clearly she's being worked up.

Let's move on. Why were you with the captain of the ship? And why was he not driving the vessel? Why were you pouring champagne with him in the middle of a grand dining hall? That was formal night. So there's three formal nights on the boat. Three? Where you have to dress up.

The men are wearing tuxedos, all of it. And they had like the captain's welcome event. Right. So I was picked to pour the champagne. Wow. Of all, how many people on this ship? Well, at this event, there were probably like 200. And how did you get picked?

I put my hand up because I crept to the front. Oh, well, yeah. That's a good spot to be in. You'd just be like, yeah, one for you, two for mummy. Old habits die hard. One for you. You can only imagine what Linda was saying from the bleachers. There she is again. That's her. She's pushing it again. One for you. I can only imagine what Linda was saying from the bleachers. There she is.

Again. That's her. She's pushing it again. Okay. So that was great. The first stop was Vanuatu. And as you know, my past holiday to Vanuatu ended in an earthquake. It did, yeah.

I don't know why you went back to the same place. Like, surely. I didn't choose. I was excited for fiji but we went to mystery island the day we arrived it was shocking weather what was it it was pouring it was windy the boat was rocking we had to take little tender boats to get to the island so we took we did i we a tour ready, but the tour got cancelled once we got over there. So we were stuck on this island.

There was hurricane warnings, and I'm like, oh, great. So I had to sit and get my hair braided. You didn't. I did. Jenna, you're a public figure. No. While they were doing it, I was like, what am I doing? This is the most horrific thing ever.

But I wanted to support the locals. Yeah, because, yeah. There's got to be something else you can do to support them. At this point, there was nothing. Could you give them cash? They don't even have to give a service. No, she really wanted to. Okay, we have beautiful hair.

I can see why. Yeah. That would have taken her ages. It took two hours. Fuck me. How much did you pay her? And did you rip them straight out? No, I had them for a few days.

I wanted to show my support. Yeah, of course and but i was like oh i'm never getting off this boat without them because half of half of the even the old people had them as well yeah are there any photos of you any photo evidence of you yeah there is cultural appropriation i want to see this please we'll post it and i said to my mum no you were not taking any photos of me with this hair i just refuse to believe that you didn't have a choice. Totally. You could have not done that.

No, okay. So that was the only part of the sheltered part of the island. Yeah. And it was pouring. And there was a hurricane. Oh, you poor thing. No, I can feel for you. Okay.

I can feel for you, but I don't. No, no. Yeah, I have the option to, but I'm choosing not to. See, it's possible. The waiter back on the boat asked me when my next rap albums being released oh yeah oh my god jenna i wouldn't be saying this on the record yeah no this isn't good show me show the photo oh my god oh jenna they're not brave they're fucking dreadlocks they're cornrows that's like oh my god have you seen you said earlier we'll post it we will not so we're not posting this we want to fucking dreadlocks. They're cornrows. That's like, oh my God. Have you seen-

You said earlier, we'll post it. We will not. No, we're not posting this. We want to keep our account. You look like Amanda Bynes the moment she got released from rehab. No one is going to see these photos anyway. A few days later, I had to take it out and it was horrendous. It doesn't sound like something that's straightforward trying to take those out.

No. Oh my God. You look like Beyonce Knowles. Water wouldn't make it stop. I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm stuck with this afro. Oh, Jenna. Okay, it's not an afro. It's definitely not.

Oh, my God. You look like Gypsy Rose Blanchard. It was horrendous. All right. One final story for the fable. What was it? Any closing notes? Oh, let me look through these photos.

Oh, yes. So I did line dancing every day. Every day. Yes. Why every day? She just felt like it. She was just in her room. No one else was involved.

It wasn't a service offered by the ship. Anyway, I did line dancing every day and I was the class favourite. So I got to go on stage and do line dancing with the teacher. Oh, she's pushed in again. Of course. Constant. Me, me, me. It was the Jenna Cruz. Oh, and then also... You're the princess of the ship, are you? Back to the first day, as soon as I got on and

went up to the buffet, there was an old lady who fell in front of me and broke her hip. That's awful. Yeah, that could have killed her. No, it was terrible because she just had a hip replacement. Oh, she broke the... not the good hip. No, the bad hip again. Well, that could have killed her. No, it was terrible because she just had a hip replacement. Oh, she broke the, not the good hip. No, the bad hip again.

Well, now she'll be bionic. She'll get the second one. So the replaced one is still intact. That's what's important. Did anyone pass on this shit? Because people do die on ships. Somebody in the Facebook group, somebody did say that they went to the medical centre and asked how many people got COVID and how many people died.

I think 30 got COVID and there were zero deaths. Oh, good. 30. Oh, my God. Yes. Wow. I don't want to wrap you early. And then in Fiji.

She's clearly. In Fiji. More to go. I was walking around Fiji and this guy shat in front of me. I would have led with that. See? That just came to mind. It was by the river.

I was like, what's going on? That probably should have been the first story. I just remembered. He just came out. Was he from? Did he pull his pants down and do a squat or did he just kind of pull out the pant leg? No, he squatted.

Was it firm? No. One of those things that you really can't look away from, can you, once it starts. Yeah, I know, and I didn't know what to do because I didn't want to be disrespectful or anything. Was he a local or was he from the cruise? Yeah. No, no, he was a local. Got it.

So you just ignored it. I just walked around him. Got it. Got it. Yeah. Well, Jenna, one of the better fables. We've added it to the Rolodex. I don't feel so bad about mine.

No. Suddenly, Mitch, I'd rather hear about it. Turns out you don't have to go anywhere to have an eventful holiday. No. No. Okay, what do we think? Oh, and then I got fat shamed. Oh, by who?

By the old people. Oh, God. I wonder why. You piss them off. You're cutting line. I'd fat shame you too. Because I got a cake, like a cake slice, and it's a big cake slice, and all of them are like, oh, you're having a big slice.

They are, yeah. And I'm like, oh, no, I'm sharing it with my mum. And they're like, oh, sure. And I'm like, no, I am. I swear. You know, that is not fat shamed. No, no. Call Jessica Simpson and she'll talk to you about fat shaming.

You don't know how it felt carrying that slice of cake across the piazza. My heart bleeds. It really does. It really does. Anyway, I befriended some of the performers on the cruise as well. I bet you did. Who? Gave a little performance of your own, no doubt.

Did you get lucky? No. Did you sleep with anyone? What, a 90-year-old man? Were you the youngest by far? Yes Did you enjoy it? Would you go back?

Yes, but probably on a young cruise Yeah You know how I said before that old people don't realise how loud they're being Because they're partially dead Yeah Speaking of fat shame, and my nan's the worst for it We'll be at like family functions and she'll just start talking shit about one of the relatives and everyone hears it.

Oh, yeah. No, of course. She'll be like, gee, she's sacked and on as if she hasn't lost any of that baby weight. No. Yeah, shocking. Yeah. It's a shame.

She's so fat. Yeah. And she's in the room. So we're at that level of fat shame. Yes. Yes. Interesting. Yes.

All right, well, listen, we've had Janice Faber, we've had Mitch's story time, we've had my Europe trip. Are we deciding on who had the best holiday? Yeah, is it the least boring? That's what we're crowning. Who had the least boring stories? Because, like, in a way, I'm happy for you, Jenna. You didn't have anything...

There were no natural disasters for once. Almost. The hurricane, the cyclone. Someone did poo in front of you. That's true. Yeah. You did cultural appropriate. I know, but I'm really guilty.

I'm ashamed for that. Yeah. That's one of my life things that I don't. I'm not happy doing it. Yes. I'm honest. The blinker story really did get me. I really enjoyed it.

It was funny. Really? Yeah, it was well said. That's funny because I've actually told that story to a few people IRL and they are not interested at all. And I'm like, isn't that amazing though? There's only three left turns. That's interesting.

Yeah, all in a seven-hour drive. And two of them no one was around anyway. That was insightful. And one of them there was the left turning lane. You know what I'm saying? Incredible. You don't have to tell it again. Didn't love it that much.

And my, of course, Berghain story and my Gonorrhea story. Well, we don't know the Gonorrhea story. Yeah, so that doesn't count. Yes, it does. No, it doesn't. No, you don't get to make it. No, it's a shit story because there's no details. No wonder the old person.

He's like, I could have gotten in here. Who knows? You know as well. You know the truth. And now you're pretending you don't You know as well. You know the truth. And now you're pretending you don't. No, but... You both do. You've seen images.

How do you expect our idiots to vote that you had the most exciting holiday if you're withholding information? Which, frankly, because I do know the truth, it's not worth withholding. It's not even that interesting. Well, then I'm not going to tell it. Good. If no one wants to know, no one's going to tell it. I don't want to hear it again. I'm voting...

My story was the best. You would. What are you voting? Wait, no, it's not that black and white. It's not about whose story was the best because it could be a shit story, but you tell it well. But if it's in terms of, like, most eventful holiday, it would probably be you only because you actually went out and did things

that you wouldn't normally do. Yeah, did more people. And you went to Europe. Yes, yes. Funny. Good. holiday, it would probably be you, only because you actually went out and did things that you wouldn't normally do. Yeah, did more people. And you went to Europe. Yes. Yes. Funny. Good.

And then, of course, Jenna's story. Of course, that's not the real horn. It is the Love Boat three-minute version. Yes. Yes. Theme song. All right. Well, let us know.

DM a couple of Mitches. Who are you voting for, Jenna? Sorry, hold on. Who had the least boring? The least boring? I'd say Mitchell Coombs. Really? Yeah.

Why? Because you didn't even tell your full story. You know every detail. I don't know anything. I messaged you while I was away. No, you didn't. I did. See, your stories, mine, I was self-aware about it being boring

and I kind of boiled it down because I knew it was boring. Yours could have been summed up by I lined up to get into a club and I got in. Nah, the art of storytelling. And I didn't drink. The art of storytelling. Good one. I walked around for four hours.

I loitered. Okay. And didn't drink at a nightclub. That's enough. And it's a sex on premises venue and I didn't have sex. Yeah, hilarious. I don't care what people, I don't care. I have a great trip.

I've had antibiotics. Gonorrhea's gone, I think. I've got to get tested again in a week, but time will tell. I don't care what anyone thinks. So if you want the title, you can have it, Mitchell. I really didn't think I would win. I actually thought I was going to win the most boring and then I'd be like, that's still a win.

I was being quite generous. It's like when there's an ugly dog and you go, God, it's cute. Or someone's got an ugly baby and you go, no, it's beautiful. Did you just compare me to an ugly dog? No, no, no, no. I compared your stories. See, now I'm Mitchell. I compared your stories to an ugly dog.

Well, that's just hurtful. Why would you say that? I mean, please, go on about how long you waited in that bike store. It was 30 minutes. Yeah. Was it? Yeah. Yeah.

Do they still sell pegs? Pegs? Yeah, they're like a silencer you put on a gun, but they go to the back wheel, and then someone can stand on the back. Oh, right, right, right, right, right. The gun comparison was weird. I don't know what that looks like. I would have said a relay baton, but anyway.

Oh, that reminds me. That shows how different. Oh, no more, please. That reminds me of the bike tricks when I was in that circus. Oh, no, Jenna, that's an old fable. I know. Please no more. All right. Mitchell, do you want the title?

Well, maybe we leave it up to the idiots. Who had the least boring holidays? That's the question. I'm happy to give the title over because I know I had the best holiday. I said let's put it over to the idiots. Okay, it's over to you, idiots. Oh, this is tough. And we'll give you the results on Monday's episode in a couple days.

Yep, beautiful. And I don't care. I don't care. But I fucked. Are you trying to assure us? Well, I was just about to tell you how many people. Go on. Nope.

You know me. I say things once. Which one gave you gonoe? Maddie McCann. Oh, for fuck's sake. Go on. Nope. You know me. I say things once. Which one gave you gone-o? Maddie McCann. Oh, for fuck's sake. Another dollar. Fuck. Not only have you said her name, but you've implied that you fucked her.

No, I didn't. For God's sake. Okay, well, she's been missing that long. She'd be 30, so it's fine. She's older than me. That's true. I was about to say, she's a child, but no. Wait, how old would she be?

We don't need to know. I'm interested. I was wondering that myself. Let me transfer. She read my mind. $7 to transfer to the kiddio. Done. She would be turning 21. Shit.

Well, that's just your type, isn't it? Yeah, thanks. I was waiting for that. It is, yeah. Shoot me. I had a conversation with you yesterday. It was so funny. What was it?

We were talking about, you know, the 21-year-old in your life. Yeah. He's beautiful. I'm dating him. We're exclusive. You were like, oh. He's gorgeous. He's 21.

But he's 22 soon. And I said, you need to stop qualifying it because that makes it sound like you believe you're doing something wrong. Do you believe you're doing something wrong? I'm not. No. There you go. That's why I'm asking.

Well, if you don't, then don't apologise for it. Just say, he's fucking 21. Yeah. Okay, sure. I like that. That's if you don't, then don't apologize for it. Just say he's fucking 21. Yeah. Okay, sure. I like that. That's a matter of fact, because you sounded so apologetic. You're like, he's 21, but he's 22 soon. I swear.

He's 21. Well, I care about my career. I'm not going to go out and get cornrows and talk about it on a hit podcast. Don't. Ask me how old Sean is. Mitch, how old's your partner, Sean? He's 32, but he only just turned 32. It's fresh.

He was 31 very recently. He's actually not very old. Oh, you're right. Now your partner, Sean? He's 32, but he only just turned 32. It's fresh. He was 31 very recently. He's actually not very old. Oh, you're right. Now just say it normally. He's 32. Yeah, yeah, see, you're right. Okay, alright. Okay, yes, yes, I get it, I get it. Yeah. I get it. Alright, let's go. We need to leave. Thank you for listening to the show. Five stars on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and we'll see you in a couple days.

Vote on Enduring Idiots, our Facebook group. Go join or DM us at couple of Mitch's if you've got an idiom of your own. It's messages for anything. I just really do regret the cornrows, okay? Yeah. Because I originally wanted just a couple of braids. Turn a mic off.

You're done. Goodbye, Jenna. Bye. Love you, idiots. See ya. See ya. Bye. Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief, our secret segment on the end. Do we talk shit here? We pretend the show's done. Correct. Nothing's really planned in this section. We can just speak our minds.

Jenny, your mic's on. Hello? There you go. Yeah, she's back. Thank you. Now, guys, none of you have noticed and no one has said anything. I'm a bit upset. Neither of you have noticed my French tips.

They're not French tips. Yes, they are. a millimeter of white this is the longest my nails have been in 28 years sorry if that was what i'm looking for you're right you haven't bitten them to fucking no end yeah but i thought you were saying french tips as if look at my manicure and i'm like yeah you need a refund on that manicure. I'm embarrassed. Isn't a French tip white nail? No, but I thought you meant you got your nails done. And I'm like, whoever did them, fuck them. No, isn't a French tip just a bit of white?

I think it's a bit more complicated than that. We can't get going around in circles. It's not about that. I thought you got your nails done. And I thought for nails that have been done, they're shit. But Mitchell, you've seen my fingers. They're like, that's the best they've ever been. And the cuticles, I don't have strips like a cheese stringer.

I'm really proud of it. Well done. I've gotten really good at doing my nails and shaping and buffing and all that shit. I can do them for you. Oh, my God. Actually, we can gossip. I'd love that. Yeah.

Can I do your nails? Yeah, come over. We are very good. God. I actually thought that the other day. What? Well, I just had gay anal sex and I thought, that's the gayest I've ever been. And it's probably right.

It doesn't get much gayer than that. It was so gay. And you know when there's like, you have a moment of like, wow, that's really what that is. What could possibly make gay sex gayer? Doing it at a Lady Gaga show or something. Totally, yeah. Listening to Kim Petras. I've done that.

Not good music to have sex to. No, I don't think so. Treat me like a slut. something. Totally, yeah. Listening to Kim Petras. I've done that. Not good music to have sex to. No, I don't think so. Treat me like a slut. I'm like, Jesus Christ. I am. Yeah. Look what I'm doing to this poor thing. No, no, consensual.

Yeah. Yeah. Our first lull of season six. Yay! I love a good lull. I am happy, Mitchell, if you want to win the competition, by the way. Just want to let you know I do not care. No, I'm happy to see how it goes.

It's also not really a competition. It's just like, what do you win, really? True, true. It's just like a bit of fun. Yeah, just fun. Okay, true, true. Nothing serious. No, you're right.

I'm a bit bummed, actually, because I found out, you told me that we only have a couple of weeks left using our OG studio. We're going to be evicted. And you know what that means, guys? Potentially the end of sound effects. There's light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not emotional anymore. I was more like, oh, it's so sentimental.

It's nearly been five years that this has been our main studio, but they're getting a new building, the radio station. KCFM, where we record this from, and where I do my radio shows from, award-winning, is moving, and we will get new state-of-the-art podcast studios. But it's a whole new software, so I don't know if we can use sound effects. They don't have gunshots pre-loaded at the new studio? No.

Wow. They can't say things like, poof-da. WSFM's going to be here till the end of March if you want to stay here. Really? Yeah. I would actually love to pop back in and see how haunted it looks with Kif being abandoned.

Where are the last ones here? Well, can I tell you something, Mitch? I spoke to the manager. I called them. And because this building is a rental, they just rent it. They don't own the building. They built custom-purpose radio studios that we're in now um what's it's the same as a house rental what do you do when you get your you give your rental back you have to return it to the state you got

it so they have to they're gonna get their bond back correct they have to arn kiss have to get their bond back for this godforsaken they have to knock down all the walls yeah they're gonna knock down all the studio oh my god do you reckon if I ask the right person, they'll let me in? I'll help knock this place to the ground. It'd be quite cathartic, I feel. I was going to say, God, I'd feel great knocking this shit down. Could we ask? We were going to do a smash room for Hobby Hunt.

Let's just smash this fucking place up. Destroy the studio. That'd actually be really fun. Would it be really fucked in our last podcast recorded here in this studio if you accidentally fucking broke one of the windows? Because it's not like they need it. No, but if you do, because you guys would have been moved out already. And so if we were here, it wouldn't worry you guys.

I could drop your humongous Frank Green grenade into that wall and just shatter it into a hundred thousand pieces. That'd be fun. A hundred percent. I'd love that. Someone's at the studio. Oh, we've got to get out of here. We do have to get out of here.

It's pink. See, this won't happen. It's pink. This won't happen in the news studio. We have our own podcast studio. We won't be sharing it with the radio shows. No. We're getting a message.

Pink is waiting to be interviewed. It's an, oh shit, it's pink. Put her on. What's pink's real name? Is it not like Karen? Alicia. Because she's in town, everyone. Pink is here. She would have left by now, surely.

No, she's here. She's here for three weeks. Oh, fuck, yeah. She's got that many shows. She practically does a residency every time she's here. Yeah, she does. Go, Pink. Why are you doing this? Don't want to get out Sorry Hey did you hear the news? What?

Leanne Rimes is the new host on The Voice Yeah Judge But yes Oh yeah Sonia Kruger's hosting Yeah Yeah

And so Sonia Kruger fucking hosts everything Yeah good for her She'll be hosting this podcast soon She's been on the show hasn't she? Can't believe so Oh Well I can soft launch the first guest of the podcast this year.

Can I announce it? I don't know who it is, so go on. Okay. And this is true because I've locked it in. I've been communicating. I am the guest booker for this show. Don't forget. Leanne Rimes?

You're the guest booker when it suits you. I booked the guests and I will say. Who was the last guest you booked? I don't remember. I think it was Weezer Squeezer. Oh, shut up. A year and a half ago. Yeah.

The first guest for season six of Is It Just Me, the hit podcast, is Fadan, the TikTok superstar. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. Fadan is a TikTok creator, an Aussie mom, a lawyer, a working woman, a creator, a philanthropist, and a loving woman. And she will be on this podcast to tell us about all the others. With brown eyes. Yeah, she actually does.

You know, it's Fadan talk. Yeah. I'm actually not familiar. I'm going to have to do some fucking research. Oh, don't worry about it. I'll go down a rabbit hole. Don't worry about it. And I'll look at her videos too.

Yeah. Oh my goodness. She's a lawyer, Mitch. So you don't be too vulgar. She's not here. But you listen. She's such a talent. She's such a talent She's so fun She's so viral

I bought I got merch Her merch gifted to me for Christmas That's so cool Yeah, I got Platiday Saturday Oh, cool So in the next coming weeks Because we want to come back into our first few episodes as us

You know, just us family Sure, okay You know on RuPaul's Drag Race When the finale They go, just family That's this Right Okay, just the family

Alright So when she You're the dad on the day Quote, unquote Locked in for You know on RuPaul's Drag Race when the finale, they go, just family. That's this. Right. Okay, just the family. All right. So when she. You're the dad on the day. Quote, unquote, locked in for. Well. She'll be here. I'm confident in that.

She actually sent me her book. And she said, can't wait to be on the show in Christmas. When did I? Okay. Well, you want me to book guests? I've done it. I tried to get Pink, but she was busy. She's fucking apparently trying to use our studio, isn't she? Yeah, she's here in four minutes.

Is she actually coming in here? No. We're doing a Zoom. Imagine if we took the piss and she walks in and goes, get out. Imagine. Hey, y'all, I need the studio. Just imagine TMZ. You're covering me in sunshine. TMZ would be wild.

They'd be like, interview ruined radio dj shock jock with cornrows shocks pink a dramatic mid-studio interview we hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today that's all just two percent so we do all right guys we love you uh This is our new close of music for season six. I feel like I'm at Movie World. You're making a lot of decisions without consulting me today. That's okay. But they do play that at Movie World. Yeah, you walk through and you go,

Mum, can I get a churro? Mum, the Marilyn Monroe show's on. Shrek 4D's on. I might get a new film, guys. Animalia exists. Bye. 4D's on I might get a new film guys Animalia exists bye see you next week love ya bye

is it just me a podcast by a couple of mitches make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app