Is It Just Me? - #191: Hard Launch

Episode Date: March 10, 2024

Our Season 6 cover art has arrived 💅   In this episode: Mardi Gras debrief (01:34) When your parents were right all along (11:11) Burp marathon (17:12) Churi flashed the big boss (23:12) Hotel kettles choose violence (33:09) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (40:08)   Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello, you. Hello, you. Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Yeah, no-one says the word turn as an adult. You know how kids would be like, can I have a turn? You don't say that shit as an adult. Can I have a turn in your car?

I want a turn! No! It is my turn. Now is Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coombs. Hello you. Hello you. Oh Mitchell, how are you? I'm pretty fucking good. Have you seen our sexy new artwork? Oh my, as you watch this, you can be looking into the eyes. Listen, actually, sorry, listen. You can look into the eyes. Actually, sorry, listen. You can look into the eyes of two gorgeous sexy men. And the truth is, yes, we did wake up like that. Yeah, we did.

Our third wheel, prizekeeper Mona Jenner is here. Hello, I'm here. You did so well. You nailed your role. Listen, and the rumours are true. Yes, I flew to Europe to the Louvre to investigate the image for the artwork. It's all a tax write-off. That's why I went to Paris in December. You actually stole it.

I did, yes. I did. Well, that's the real frame and no one knows. Jenna, you were great. I wanted it back all this time and you got it back. Well, you were there, of course, when Leo DiCaprio painted it. DiCaprio. He didn't finish it and that is because, tell them why, Jenna.

Because we had a thing going on. They had sex. Oh, you were just too busy fucking. You couldn't sit for the portrait any longer. Yeah. Nice. You could have sat on him while he painted it. No, we tried.

Oh, I didn't. Yeah, of course. Now, how are we feeling after Mardi Gras, everyone? Good. Good. Great. Really good. Honest to God, I was fine.

I was at home in a spa by midnight. Yeah. After doing the parade, I was ready to shut it down as well. Yeah. Now, I want to say nothing but good things about Fusion Pride. We marched with your beautiful partner, Sean. He co-founded the charity. Yes.

I feel like there's a but. No, no. I feel like there is. Well, there's two buts. Yes. One thing I found hilarious and the other thing I will be seeking legal action for. Yeah. First part is I met the other co-founder.

And I said, hi, how are you, Shwet? Good. I'm Char went good i'm charity and i went oh lovely you work for the charity yeah i'm charity and i'm not good she works for the charity awesome and then later in the night i said sorry i didn't actually get your name i what was your name she no i'm charity i'm like no no you work it would have been i'm charity she's got an american accent name is charity isn't that so fitting she works at a charity you came over to me and you're like what's her name i'm like she literally just said it's She's got an American accent. Her name is Charity. Isn't that so fitting? She works at a charity. You came over to me and you're like, what's her name? I'm like, she literally just said it's Charity. And because she's the co-founder, I had to have so much respect for her because she's a beautiful person too.

But I could not for the life of me remember her name. And it is Charity. That is so funny. Her and her partner have a joint Instagram account, Peter and Charity. How would you react if I started a second Instagram called Mitchell and Sean? I'd leave you in this work relationship. I don't know why, because it's them.

It seems like a normal thing to do. But when I was thinking about it, I was like, I could not get away with that. It'd be so fucking odd if I did that. There's one Facebook account that I have called Alan and Sharon Clark, and I worked with her at Coles, and it's just their hybrid. But the profile picture is just the two of them. It's like it actually makes sense. But have you noticed that Facebook doesn't let you write and

or put the actual and symbol? So that's why they usually put an N. So they were like Aaron and Karen. Oh, my God. I've wondered what that meant. Is that why? Yeah. Okay, so Charity was lovely.

Or they just won't put an N. It'll be Aaron, Karen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Well, Charity was lovely. They were all nice. However, I will be seeking legal action and I will be litigating against them as I was forced against my will to carry a giant styrofoam letter you two seconds before midnight. Like, figuratively speaking, two seconds before we paraded down Oxford Street.

Betty said, I'm injured. And I said, pardon me? She said, I'm injured. So we had these big Styrofoam letters That spelled out Fusion Pride Our roving reporter

Oscar and I We had to dither over Sourcing paint for it Oscar spent all day In the sun He's got the worst Sunburn back Painting the letters

And then all we needed Was just someone To fucking carry them I would have But I was in the dance troupe You see You were Jenna had a big ass Rainbow flag That she was, but I was in the dance troupe, you see. You were, you were. Jenna had a big-ass rainbow flag that she was holding.

True. I was there, but purely just to smile. And then last minute, someone must have dropped out, and they were like, right, we need two strong boys. And you were one of them. Yeah. And I found it kind of funny because I'm like, there's no way you're going to be spotted on TV

if you've got a giant letter blocking your face. I was livid. I sent out a press release to PR. Your ego must have died. Someone looked at me in the crowd and went, you're better than this. They mouthed it to me. They mouthed it to me. They went, you're very successful.

I went, this is embarrassing. So I had to hold this giant fucking U. To make matters worse, I was next to the F infusion. So if anyone took a photo, it just looked like I was holding an FU. Well, it was a bit of an FU to you, wasn't it? It really was. The fact that you were right up the back. And then sorry to Betty. You were so grumpy. I was holding an FU. Well, it was a bit of an FU to you, wasn't it? Really was. The fact that you were right up the back. And then sorry to Betty.

You were so grumpy. I was mad. Betty went, I'm injured. I went, I saw you downing vodka Red Bulls in the park, Betty. And then she wasn't injured. She had a bubble gun walking through Mardi Gras, shooting the bubbles. I'm like, you bitch.

I mean. She was. She was. You made your frustration known because you broke the U. You broke the fucking letter, which they were intending to keep for future events. And you broke the fucking U. So like the stick that the letter was on top of snapped. Very brittle.

And then you just stabbed it through the styrofoam. I'm like, oh God, he's not only broken the stick, but we can't even repair that. There's now a hole in the U. Well, I finally got to stab you on Oxford Street. I've been trying for years. No, so what happened was I was exhausted at the end of Oxford Street, and the U is, it's a letter U, so I could lean in the middle. So I put the stick on the ground, leant on it,

and I must think I'm slimmer than I am. It just snapped under my weight. Yeah. And everyone, because, you know, a big public place, it was a giant loud bang. Everyone sort of, you know, shrieked. The thing with those letters is that they're not necessarily heavy. They're just really fiddly because they're styrofoam,

but it was windy and it was literally like, you know, those circus tricks where you see people balancing plates on sticks. It's like that because you're like, holy shit, this thing has a mind of its own. Totally. The lady next to me holding the F goes to me, oh, my God, how are you feeling? And I went, fucking exhausted.

She didn't hear me. She went, I know, isn't it amazing? I thought she was going to be like, I'm tired too, but she was on cloud nine, so I didn't want to burst her bubble. Did you hear what they said about Fusion on TV, on the ABC Mardi Gras coverage? No, I didn't watch it back, no. So we were a bit worried because we had a few messages

from friends being like, did you hear what they said about Fusion? Apparently, Courtney Act, who was there as part of the coverage, went a bit rogue. Sean had to send them a script ahead of time, you know, a bit of a fact sheet about Fusion. He goes, well, that wasn't in the script. And everyone was saying, Gare, did you hear what she said about the beaches being very homophobic and whatnot? And it made it sound like it was going to be worse than it was. Do you want to listen to what Courtney Acton said about us? Yeah, I can.

So this is Courtney Acton live on ABC. Yeah, all right. Okay, marching for the first time tonight, it's Fusion Pride Northern Beaches. Out with the turfs, in with the surf. This is the scripture time. Fusion Pride says that no matter who you are or who you love, there is a place for you in the Northern Beaches.

The Northern Beaches, unfortunately, has a bit of a grim history. The coastline was known for its gay beats in the 80s and was the target of horrific hate crimes. But systemic failure to support these victims did not go unnoticed and we've come a long way since then. It's great to see the Northern Beaches reclaim their pride tonight. See, that was actually nice, wasn't it? I actually love that.

I can get around that. That's amazing. That's where people go wrong. They turn a blind eye to the past and the history, and I think it's good. They're good on Courtney. I said to Sean, that's got to be the new Instagram bio for Fusion Pride. It's great to see the Northern Beaches reclaim their pride.

Courtney Act. Yeah, I agree. That's a good fucking endorsement. Well, we should get Courtney on and tell her about how you were hate-crimed in the manly boat dock bathrooms. What was that place called again? Boathouse? Fuck.

Wharf Bar. Wharf Bar. Was it Wharf Bar? Yeah, it was Wharf Bar. You were in the bathrooms, hate-crimed. Yeah, we've come so far, Courtney. Yeah, it's been six months, bitch. Well, I had a great Mardi Gras.

It was very fun. So jokes aside, was it fun for you or did you hate having to carry it? All jokes aside, no, this was my fourth march in the parade and it was one of my favourites. It was very fun. So jokes aside, was it fun for you or did you hate having to carry it? All jokes aside, no, this was my fourth march in the parade and it was like one of my favourites. It was lovely. I think it was one of the more fun ones for me too. Yeah, well being with you guys was cute. It was so much fun. We were reunited with contraceptive diaphragm.

Sam? I felt a bit bad because I was hoping when I wasn't doing the choreographed bit in the dance troupe that I'd be able to walk with you two so that if there happened to be any of our idiots there on Oxford Street watching, they'd see the three of us together because they knew that we were going to be marching in the parade. Yeah.

Not marching. Can you imagine us actually marching? I don't know why they use that word marching. Yeah, it's a bit aggressive. Left, right, left. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was planning to walk with you two, but we were so scattered and you were right at the back with that letter U. Oh, I was. And so I was like, right, when I'm not dancing, I'll at least try and walk with you two but we were so scattered and you were right at the back with that letter you and so i was like right when i'm not dancing i'll at least try and walk with jenna

but she kept whacking me in the fucking face with that rainbow flag she didn't want a bar of me no i was very very passionate about my my duty you had one role and you wanted to she was in her own little world you actually were jenna yeah and good for you at one point we really got the crowd revved up because oscar and i were like let's go fucking twerk next to Jenna. We were just like grinding on her and everyone's like what? It was so fun. Someone in the audience was clearly an idiot because they went Mitch please can I have a hug? And of course

I can give them a hug. This you bent over them and hit an infant. You know how people bring parents to the crowd? This baby thank God its skull was formed. If that was a soft cradle cap it would have been killed. The you like I tapped it in the head like when the Pope touches a baby and it just, because the stick, Mitch, you're right, it's like two meters. So it bent.

It was like. Yeah. And it like hung over these kids. I'm like, oh God, sorry. So sorry to that idiot. If that's your child that has sort of, you know, a bruise on their forehead. Oh, it's just styrofoam. Tapping up.

Yeah, you're right. Touched by you. No, I had a lot of fun. And Fusion Beaches Pride, honestly. Fusion Pride. Fusion Pride in the Northern Beaches. Yeah. Thanks to them. Yes, of course. I enjoyed I had a lot of fun. And Fusion Beaches Pride, honestly. Fusion Pride. Fusion Pride in the Northern Beaches. Yeah, thanks to them. Yes, of course.

I enjoyed it. It was really fun. It was so much fun. I had a great time. And I was planning on Mitch's like, oh, you want to come back? We're going to a friend's after. I'm like, yeah, I might. I was fucking exhausted.

Yeah. No, like I was dead to the world. Well, I wasn't going to any official after parties because fuck that. I was just going to a friend's place a little bit further down where the parade started, the other end of Oxford Street, and we were a couple of kilometres away. We started walking in that direction and then we realised, oh, we're on the wrong side of the road and the road is closed for the parade. So we had to walk back to Moorpark and go over that big ramp that goes over the other

side of the road. Oh, God. And then at that point, that's when my brand new shoes started to fucking give me blisters and I'm like, okay, just push through a couple more kilometers. So by that point, I'd had it. Yeah. It was a good Mardi Gras. I was knackered.

But no, it was great. Yeah. I hope you idiots had a good Mardi Gras too. Anyway, if it's your first time listening, welcome to Is It Just Me? I feel like we've officially launched season six now. Like I said, it was a soft launch. We're underway now that we've got the new artwork. The new artwork is so hot.

I love it. We all did so well Honest to god, I think it's our best yet Let us know if you like it It's a whole new era And shout out to our contraceptive diaphragm Sam for putting that edit together Yeah of course Oh sorry, thank you Sam

We love you Sam Anyway, welcome to the show if it's your first time listening We start every episode with Is It Just Me Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's. Do you want to go first? Yeah, I'm happy to kick things off. Yeah? Alright. Let's go.

Is it just me or Do you hate it when the boring things your parents tell you are actually right? Oh, anything my parents tell me that ends up being right is frustrating. It is because I'm like, damn it. They were right all along. You know how they'll say really boring shit like, oh, you don't need a McFlurry

for afternoon tea, you'll spoil your dinner. We have ice cream at home. And I'm like, shut up, no I won't. As an adult, I'm like, you're right, I will spoil my dinner. You're right, there is a water bottle in the car, I don't need to buy that Boots juice. You're right. Yes, yes, no. And so the most recent one, you know how if you're a bit sick, they just say, oh, just get a good night's sleep. You know, sleep it off. Yeah, have a lie down. So the morning of Mardi Gras, I woke up and I felt the cold and flu symptoms coming on and I was like, oh, fuck me. Here we go. Because, you know, when I'm sick, it usually hangs around for quite a while. It makes itself fucking comfy, the illness.

It does linger in you. I've gone like a month and a half on this podcast with a croaky voice before. Because it just fucking stays put. I do not get better no matter what I try. And so I woke up on Mardi Gras morning. I could feel the cold and flu symptoms. I was like, oh, God, I'm just going to have to push through today. And then after that, we'll deal with the illness. Oh my God. I was fucked by Sunday,

Monday. It was awful. And I was kind of still doing things for Mardi Gras, like going out on the Sunday night and what have you. And then by Monday night, I was like, okay, I'm going to have an early night because apparently that's the done thing. You just have to rest it off. You just have to rest when you're sick. Listening to Jane's advice. Yeah, exactly. And I did. And by Tuesday I was like, wow.

Wow. It really worked. I reckon I slept for like 12 hours. It was sort of on that cusp of oversleeping where if I'd gone even a wink of more sleep, I would have been fucked all day. But I felt amazing. Went to the chemist. They gave me the good drugs.

Oh, yeah. And so I had another massive sleep on Tuesday night. And oh, my God, I'm unstoppable. Really? Thanks, Jane. I know, right? So what is it? Just sleep?

Yeah. It's just such a boring thing to say oh no just rest up which is so much easier said than done when you actually have things to do yes it definitely is also it doesn't work for all illnesses you know like if your legs crushed by a tractor i would encourage rest in that case actually yeah oh my god is rest a universal fix for everything yeah it actually yeah it killed me because i even had to cancel bar class this week. And how many weeks straight have you been? Oh, no.

Fucking I've been going every week since like January last year. Didn't they give you a pin? No. In a shirt or something? Yeah, the 100 Club. The 100 Club, yeah. I'm almost at 200 Club, mate. I'm loving it.

Oh, sorry. I'm so behind. And so, yeah, I had to cancel that. In the past, I would have just pushed through because I'm like, oh, I love me bar class. I don't care if I've got a bit of a sniffle. I'll be right. Yeah. But this time I was like, no, no, to cancel that. In the past, I would have just pushed through because I'm like, oh, I love me bar class. I don't care if I've got a bit of a sniffle. I'll be right. But this time I was like, no, no, take it seriously. Fucking rest.

And I bounced back. Did you? Well, for a period of time, yes. Because you know, like when one thing goes wrong, it just kind of, when it rains, it pours. Oh, fuck me. They warned me, these cold and flu tablets, they might have a side effect of bloating. What's the word I'm looking for?

Indigestion, heartburn, acid reflux, that sort of thing. And I was like, whatever, give me the good shit. I want to curb this illness. Yeah. Oh my God. I am so fucking floated and it feels awful. What are you doing? Show us, stand up.

I'm wearing a really baggy shirt today because I'm basically pregnant right now. Like, I need maternity. What was Mardi Gras? Good on Sean. He clearly got up. Wait, that is a baggy shirt. It is. It's because my stomach is so bloated and it's really sore.

Like, every time I stand up, I'm like, oh, really? Yes. It just feels like I need to let out a ripper burp. Yeah. But there's no burp there. Oh, that's a really bad feeling. I know, right? It's so bad.

Wait, so it's from the drugs? Well, I can only assume. I haven't done anything else differently. Yeah, it would be. And I just feel so gross now. And then to make matters worse, look what I've done. What? Oh, you've got a bandaid on your finger.

What happened? You broke a nail? I probably need more than a bandaid. Oh, no. Cut it open. What? Oh, you've got a band-aid on your finger. What happened? You broke a nail? I probably need more than a band-aid. Oh, no. Cut it open. When? When, when? I think Wednesday.

Oh, shit. Mitchell. Actually, no, it would have been Tuesday night. You were cooking? Yeah, because I was like, I feel great. You know how sometimes when you're sick, you kind of just use that as an excuse to be really lazy. Uber eats idiots, man. By Tuesday night, I was like, I feel great.

I had Andrew come over. I was like i feel great i had andrew come over i was like i'll cook his dinner i've got all these bloody dinner leaves that have piled up bloody literally yeah yeah and i was dicing cabbage and then accidentally sliced my finger and andrew's sitting there on the couch he goes oh you're right and i was really down playing it i was like it's fine yeah it's all good. There was definite gushing. Oh, seriously? To the point where I probably should have gone and gotten stitches, but it's too late now.

I just have to. So it stopped bleeding, clearly. Yeah. Well, I think it has now, but the whole next day, the band-aid would get all bloody. Oh, Mitch, you need to get stitches. Oh, I've left it too late now. I Googled it.

Why? You have to do it early, do you? Yeah, I think within the first 24 hours. Oh, no. And now that it's wrapped up, it's probably. Wait, did you try having a lie down? Or a good sleep, perhaps. Go to sleep, finger please.

See, that's when Jane's advice doesn't work. Yeah. That's true. Yeah, hemorrhaging and bleeding. Don't lie down. Don't sleep. The problem with a really fucking sore finger, if you've cut it or what have you, is that you kind of forget that it's sore or that it's a problem and that you can't function normally.

And then it'll just hit you. Like when I was driving here, I put the indicators on. Ow! Oh, yeah, it hurt. Oh, it fucking hurts. And so I'm trying to type without using that finger. Oh, that'd be impossible. And it's like I know that I've not had some, like, grave illness

or some terminal diagnosis, but just a few little inconveniences, one after the other, blocked nose, sore finger, and bloated tummy. I'm like, fuck my life. Yeah, that's awful. Why don't we get you a carbonated drink and try to get a burp? Would a burp make you feel better? I don't know. Like if you had a fizzy drink.

Well, they encourage no carbonated drinks while you've got a bloated tummy, but maybe that's actually the key. Maybe that's where they're going wrong. Do you have carbonation? Yeah, hold on. Oh, shit. But maybe that's actually the key. Maybe that's where they're going wrong. Do you have carbonation? Yeah, hold on. Oh, Jesus Christ. Jenna just bent over. I've got some sparkling water.

Yeah. I'm going to take a deep breath and swallow the air as well. Sure. Oh, my. This is dramatic. Right. Trigger warning if you don as well. Okay. Oh, my. This is dramatic. Right. Trigger warning if you don't like burps. Here we go.

Does it happen this quickly? Takes me a while. It's brewing. I can feel it. Oh, God. It's moving up his body. Maybe we should move on because it'll probably just hit me. Oh, it'll appear at some point.

Yeah, probably. Well, we hope the thoughts and prayers. Oh, there it is. Oh, wow. Woo! And do the thoughts and prayers. Oh, there it is. And do you feel better? Do you know what? It's a little bit less painful to touch. Yeah, good. A little bit less firm the tummy.

That's good. There you go. See? Let's do a burp marathon. Will it burp? Is it just me? You can follow the show online. Just search Couple of Mitches.

If you don't, you're a dickhead. Now, coming up in episode 192 this Wednesday, Oscar and I did a roving report when we were down at Mardi Gras. Did you even notice us working on that? I didn't know. I didn't. And only until you said we're doing a roving report, I thought I had no idea.

So I'm not across this, but it's a Mardi Gras report. Well, the reason we kind of kept it from you is because it was about you. Yeah, I've gotten that feeling. Yeah. Did you talk to the furries? It was one night. I don't regret it. I don't regret it.

I'm so sorry. Oh, fucking hell. Now it's offensive. Some people don't like those sounds, right? It turns them off. I actually didn't do that on purpose. It just kind of came out. It took over your body, too.

You kind of had like a cat. His back, yeah, arched. Once again, lucky Sean. Anyway, yeah, we were doing a roving report, essentially prying into your personal life. Yeah. Why would you do that? It'll make sense on Wednesday. I'm not going to be embarrassed, am I?

I don't think so, no. All right. I wasn't even drunk. I was sober that night be embarrassed, am I? I don't think so, no. All right. I wasn't even drunk. I was sober that night. I didn't even drink. Didn't you? No. I could have sworn I gave you some of the vodka I snuck in.

No, I didn't drink any of it. Jenna can attest to that. I didn't drink. I think you did. I didn't, Jenna. Jenna, you lying bitch. I didn't, and you know what? I just feel like I remember smuggling you some of my vodka,

which is still not enough to get you drunk. Mitchell, no, definitely not. And it was hours before the parade. That fucking marshalling area. We were there for ages. Don't fucking start with the marshalling area. I didn't drink, but oh my God, quickly, let me tell you something. Jenna was with me.

Jenna went, I want a lemonade. And I said, sure. You're an adult. Yeah, you can walk. I don't know where it is. I'll come with you. So I grabbed her by the hand and wrote my name and my mobile number on her wrist. And as we were walking through the parade, in the marshalling area, it's where all the

floats sort of congregate. They get in line. Yeah, they get in line. So it's, you know, Fusion Pride. And there's nearly 200 floats. So sometimes you're in the marshalling. If you're float 192, you fucking wait in a while. Four or five hours.

Yeah. Right. So we're Fusion Pride Northern Beaches, 180, I think we were, weren't we? 76. Oh, 76. Which really fucked me off because my favourite number is 7. If it was 77, that would have been perfect. Anyway, so we were walking through and you can see all the groups with their sites.

So you walk by and then there's Furries Australia, Leather Pups Australia. Dykes on Bikes. Dykes on Bikes, Doms and Daddies, like all these different groups. Guide Dogs. Guide Dogs Australia. Yeah, coals and woolies, you know, the big differences. So then Jenna and I are walking and there's so many people in this park. We're trying to get to the lemonade stand and I kind of have to squeeze through a tight group of people

and I squeeze past the pups, Australia, leather pups. And this man has sort of got his back to me and I kind of got to squeeze past him in an oak tree. And I squeeze past him and something gets caught in my shirt. Gets caught and gets tangled. And I go, oh, God, sorry, mate. Pull through. Pull whatever's in there out. And he goes, oh. And Jenna went, what was that And I go, oh, God. Sorry, mate. Pull through. Pull whatever's in there out. And he goes.

And Jenna went, what was that? I went, oh, sorry. I didn't mean to. It was his silicon tail because he's a leather pup. Do I want to know how that was attached to him? It wasn't a butt plug, was it? It was anally attached. Yeah, it was.

And he made up. He helped. He was walking around all day with a butt plug in. No shame. Good for him. He was ready that night to go. No, I'm more just marvelling at that. How?

Yeah, but I grabbed it like it was a lever in a factory and kind of just moved it out of my way. Not realising it was... Because we thought it was a belt. I thought it was some sort of like a baby-born arm. Like it was just this sort of silicon thing poking out and it grabbed my shirt. It got tangled in me. Oh, my God. Yeah. And I just ran to the of silicon thing poking out and it grabbed my shirt. It got tangled in me.

Oh, my God. Yeah. And then Jenna and I just ran to the lemonade stand. Yeah, and then we got lemonade. Which, mind you, Jenna said, do you have access to the kiddio? And I said, yeah, why? She said, well. I went, all right.

So I bought Jenna a lemonade on the kiddio. Yeah, that's fair call. Yeah. I was thirsty. She was so thirsty. And she kept asking for more. I'm like, God. Gosh, she really acts like a child sometimes. She does. I had a lemonade She was so thirsty. She kept asking for more. I'm like, God. She really acts like a child sometimes.

She does. I had a lemonade and a lime one. Yeah, then she came back and went, I want the next one. Can I get a limeade? Anyway. But even when we record the show from my house sometimes, she's like, can we get food? I'm like, you're a grown woman.

You've got a phone. You've got the ability to do that if you want. You live alone. Also, coming up on Wednesday, apart from our roving report, which I don't think you're going to be offended by, don't stress. Sure. Will it block? Oh, my God.

I'm hoping this is the third and final part. Oh, shush. Kana, can I tell you that will it block? I'm sorry. It's already annual. Like, you guys have to approve the annuality of it, but I have done so well. Okay.

Like, these blocks are incredible. I have not tasted them yet. The whole aim is to turn something that does not exist in the form of a chocolate block into a chocolate block. Yes. So, I have created four blocks. Three chocolate bars, one Arnott's Biscuit. They have been blockified, and we'll do the taste test on the show.

Nice. I'm excited. You've come in with a lot more confidence than you did last week, so I've got a good feeling about it. Okay, it's going to be good. I know it's going to be good. Fabulous. Okay, should we jump into my idjim?

Yep, sure. Hit us. Is it just me or? Have you ever shown your full ass, cheek, and balls to a co-worker before? No. I don't have any. Co-workers or? Just you, darling.

Oh, my God. I had the most mortifying experience at work what here at kiss fm um jenna is actually around the corner when this happened so so this was at work right i for context you know we've mitch and i've just been through a weight loss journey so i bought all these new clothes i bought these new pants and i'm wearing today actually and they're big baggy like denim pants they're oversized and baggy right so I kind of wear them high-waisted with a belt and I'm in my era of putting my phone because they're high-waisted it's kind of awkward to get them in the side pocket because it's kind of up near your hip all right okay right so it's like awkward to put it here so I just put it in my back pocket right and it just sits in there so I was doing my radio show and I went god I need to

go to the bathroom and you know we've got the radio shows and the team that all work on air. And then the bathroom we share is with the executives. So CEO, COO, all the big. Yeah, everyone uses that bathroom. Correct. So I walk in and at the urinal is the COO. He organizes everyone's money, knows how much we're paid, how much the podcast makes. He controls the money that comes in and out of Kiersten A.R.N. He's the big

dog, yeah. And I know him. He's lovely. So he walks in and you know when you're at the urinal and there's three. One on the left, one free in the middle and there's one free on the right. So I go, I'm not going to go into a cubicle. I'll just stand on the right. We're not going to look at each other. Which one was here? Far left. Okay, well that's fine because it'd be

weird if you pulled up right next to him. Exactly right. So I have a bit of respect, but it's a quorum. Yeah. So I walk in and I go to the right one. He goes, Mitch, how are you, buddy? I go, really good. Really good. How are you?

He's like, good. Excited for the new building move. I'm like, me too. I'm undoing my belt. As I undo my belt, I unbutton my pants, pull down my zipper. Normally, for people with penises, you just pull it out and you can urinate, right? Yeah. You can go through the zipper.

The pants are so oversized and baggy, Mitchell, I unzip my fly. And the added weight of the phone? The added weight of the phone drops to the ground. Did you just do it again in front of me? Yeah. No! Oh, sorry. I probably didn't need you to do that.

I didn't need to see that. Jenna, do you want to look? Yeah, I do. Look at me, Mitchell. I'm like a toddler in a Westfield! Oh, no. Did you take a photo, Jenna? Yeah, yeah, look at him.

And he looked at me and went, oh. And I went, oh, sorry. I went, sorry, the weight of the phone. And he finished and walked up and had to waddle around me to make matters worse. I put my head down to get my pants like this, and then the toilet flushes. So it looks like the automatic sensor went off.

So it looked like the water splashed up into my face. Yuck. I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, excited for the new move to the new studios. He went, yeah, look, sir. Left. And I just pulled my pants up. This is why I just don't fuck with the urinals.

I've always found them just a bit barbaric. Oh, you're a cubicle boy. You're also a sit down to pee boy, aren't you? Yeah. That's bizarre to me. Name one benefit. What is it? Just a bit of time out.

That's it. Just a bit of time out. That's it. Just a bit of me time. I don't need that. I like the standing up because I'm frenetic and rushed. I don't have the time. But next to the fucking COO or whatever it was. Was it the COO or the CFO? Who knows?

CFO. The UFO of the company, yes. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would never use a urinal in general, but especially if I saw another person already there or someone who's quite high up in the business. There's just no way I would flop my dick out next to them.

That is just so off to me. I know. Drop your pants. And then shit like this happens. I know. But you know the exact mental image, if you're listening at home and you want to know, it's like when you walk into a Westfield urinal and there's a baby boy with his dad at the urinal and his pants are at his ankles. And why do they do that often in the cubicle but with the door open?

Yeah, that's such a good point. They don't even use the urinal half the time because unless it's one of those troughs that runs along the floor, they probably can't reach the bloody urinal. No, that's true. It's one of those ones that looks like a sink. So they just do it in a normal toilet but they leave the door wide open and the dad's there commentating. Yeah.

What are you doing? Yeah. The other day I went to like a baby change room because the men's bathroom. Why? Can we pause on that for a bit? No, because the men's bathroom were out of order. That's fair game, isn't it? Where were you?

There's a new shopping centre in my local area. They're not even open yet. The only open bathroom is a baby change room in the whole centre. So if you need to piss, you've got to go there. So I press the button on the door and it's always a magic door. And then I go to use the all-access toilet and there's an adult toilet, but right next to it, there's a baby toilet. What?

It's like this big. It's half the size of a normal toilet. Like a potty. It's potty for a little baby to poo while mum poos. Did not tell me you used the potty. I pissed in the potty. Fucking hell. And I stood over it and put my penis directly down.

That would have made the aim a bit harder. It was very hard. I've got great aim. I've got no problem with aim. I'll just have to take your word for it. Yeah, you will. Actually, let me stand back up. No.

No. I'll take a photo. Yeah, but put on the inside. So, yeah, you know, I do like the urinals that have the flies. Have you seen those ones? They've got flies or little love hearts on the actual porcelain What do you mean flies? Like they've painted on a little fly, like a bug

Oh, something to aim at Yeah, because men are just disgusting Oh my god Straight men, gay men would never, we have decorum But straight men often will just piss everywhere That's gross And it goes all over the carpets and the floor So if there's something to aim at, studies have shown that men will aim at that and it will go in the bowl.

Do men just not have the common sense to not piss everywhere? It is kind of fun though, like a wet wraparound, you know? No, it's not. Fun for who? Jenna, do you stand up to pee or sit? I stand up. Couldn't even get it out, could you? I mean, I'm sure it's possible for a woman to stand and piss.

I've tried numerous times, but it just doesn't work. It doesn't come out in a straight line, does it? No, no. I think it's got to do with how you sort of hold it yourself. Is that true? No, I've tried. Can you control the stream at all like a sprinkler system? You can?

Yeah. What, pressure or direction? Pressure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't you take the portable mic into the toilet right now? Yeah, we've got new Bluetooth ones. Yeah. As if we'd ever make you do that.

That's so foul. Maybe in the new building. Oh, my God. Should we talk about the announcement we all got? What? Well, Jenna and I still work at ARN. Mitch, you don't. But Jenna and I got an attention all staff.

You get these when someone in the building has been killed or there's a tsunami approaching. And we all got one. All staff. Asterix, asterix building has been killed or there's a tsunami approaching. And we all got one. All staff. Asterix, asterix, asterix. Yeah. Trigger warning. A coffin will be in reception for use on a radio program. It will be there momentarily, then moved.

Please, if this will upset you, do not use reception between these hours. Thank you. With respect, ARN Management. Wow. We've done that before. We've brought With respect, ARN Management. Wow. We've done that before. We've brought a coffin in. And left it here. Put Jenna in it, made the whole studio watch, and then we left it here for a fortnight.

In a WSFM audio producer's studio. One of Jenna's co-workers came in the next morning and there was an open casket sitting there. I think it was episode 53. If anyone wants to go back and listen to Jenna in a coffin for an entire episode of this podcast, we didn't think for a second that we needed to issue a trigger warning. And I was quite surprised at everyone's reaction to the coffin thing. Yes.

Everyone was like, that's so creepy. I can't believe she did that. I was like, it's just a bit of wood. I don't get it. It's life. It's actually not. We're desensitized to it, aren't we? Yeah.

What's wrong with us I had to go to a morgue to pick it up Caring funerals in Five Drop Great family business Oh my god it's a bit cold in here The air con shit Yeah it's all the fridges we've got Anyway don't get your dick out in front of colleagues anymore please

If you can I won't He was impressed though he got his pay rise I'm not convinced you're going to be able to quit cold turkey Getting my dick out in front of people You're going to have to wean yourself off it No I wouldn't He was impressed though he goes payroll I'm not convinced you're going to be able to quit cold turkey Getting my dick out in front of people You're going to have to wean yourself off it No I wouldn't say wean I don't like getting my penis out in fact I'm shy

See that I can't understand why you'd use a urinal at all then Because I would never I'm a grower not a shower for sure When did I ask Jesus Do people look over Absolutely Really Yeah Absolutely Really Yeah When did I ask? Jesus. Do people look over? Absolutely. Really?

Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, but you know how straight people like that guy at Wharf Bar will be like, oh, they're going to try and look at my dick if they go. Oh, God, yeah, I'm perpetuating that. I make such a point of walking into a public bathroom, even though I'm not using the trough, and like darting my head the other way. Yeah.

No wonder I've got a bulging disc now, because I've just spent so much time trying to appease straight men by being like, I'm not looking. Yeah. I'm not looking. It's true. And then I just walk into the fucking door. At a gay bar, some people do look. I'd never look.

I'm very obvious. How are you? Nice cock. How are you? I like this bar. Do you want the popcorn shrimp? It'd be a bit much. But no one's cock is at its best when it's urinating.

Absolutely not. You can quote me on that. Yeah. You've always said that too. Yeah, you could count so many times I've said it. It's hard to stop me. No, it is. Wouldn't say hard.

Yeah, no, my penis is not its best urinating. No one's is. And standing up too. Like I've said, my circulation's not the strongest. I need to be at a full horizontal rest to get a full worthy erection. Really? No, not really. I'm embellishing.

Wouldn't it be weird to see somebody have an erection while peeing? It's very hard. It's actually not possible. I did it this morning. It's impossible. You have to piss into a sink. No, you don't. No.

You do. You can't put it in a toilet. No, you're just sort of like. Wait. You know. No. Well, there is that. Yes. But if you've got to go, you've't. No. You do. You can't put it in a toilet. No, you're just sort of like. Wait. You know. No. Well, there is that. Yes.

But if you've got to go, you've got to go. Yeah, of course. Especially when you're hard. Sometimes it makes it, the pressure there makes you need to go. You just have to do a bit of a, what do they call this in yoga? A hinge at the hip? Yeah, a hinge. Like a.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like a bow. Like a bow for spin. Yeah, instead of standing upright, you're sort of an obtuse angle. Yeah, nice. Yeah.

All right. Shall we go on that note? No. We've still got to do an Is It Just You? Oh, my God, we do. Jesus Christ. How dare you? I organise that, don't I? Yeah, you do.

I just go to my phone. Every Is It Just Me Monday. Kill some time. We get one of our idiots on with an Is It Just Me of their own. Yeah, that's correct. I'll kill time for you. It's all good. If you do have one that you'd like to share, we'd absolutely love to hear it.

At Couple of Mitches is our Instagram handle. Or send us a text on this number. Send us a text. Yes, you can text that number or you can DM us, of course, Mitch. Today we're going to Brise Vegas, baby. We've got the beautiful Ruby joining us. Hello. Ruby, it's Mitch Mitch and Jenna.

Hello, how are you? Pretty good. What have we interrupted you doing? I was just making myself an egg, but then I turned the stove off immediately as I got the call, so, you know. Just one time's egg? Just one egg, yeah. Good protein.

I mean, we don't want to keep you from your lunch. If you want to keep whisking away, go for it. Did you mean go for it as in do the idjim or go for it as in cook the egg? No, I mean, like, keep cooking. Yeah. There's no need to turn the stove off. No. Oh, it's off.

Don't worry about it. It's fine. What kind of egg were you going to do? Oh, Mitch, I was doing an egg, and I just, like, chucked some mushrooms on it. It was the full vision. I was going to get a muffin or a bagel, put some avo, put some hummus, put the egg on. Oh, wow. Sounds lovely.

Geez, all right. That is, maybe you should focus on this. It's quite a process. That's it. I've paused it. It can wait. It can wait. Let's jump into it, then you can get cooking, Ruby.

All right. Is it just me or...? A hotel kettle's always too fucking hot. I don't think I've noticed that. I am with you. I feel like every time you go to a hotel and you want to, like, you know, use the free tea and instant coffee, chuck on the kettle and it's bloody hotter than the bloody hot thing in the sun.

Burn your hand on the metal kettle. I think that's it. I've actually done some research. burn your hand on the metal kettle. I think that's it. I've actually done some research. I think it is the metal kettle that just makes it too hot. There's always that silver metal with a black handle and that red alert light on the bottom, aren't there? And also, usually the coffee cups they give you in hotels are fucking tiny. And so if you've got this boiling hot drink,

there's not even room for milk to cool it down. No, there's not. It's a nightmare. Oh, and it's then that one fucking Norco milk in the fridge. Always the Norco. And then also, I would say, I like the Nespresso pods in some fancy hotels, but then they only give you

one pod. This isn't going to touch the sides. You know, I think my theory on that is everything in hotels is so new and, you know, you have a kettle in your house, you use it, what, two, three times a day. But in hotels, there'd be people that don have a kettle in your house you use it what two three times a day but uh in hotels there'd be people that don't even touch that thing they're fly and they fly out so i think they're like all running at really new high levels because they're

barely used i always just like clean it out do i run a boiling water tip it out before i even pour it yeah because god knows what else has been going on i never use it have you seen those tiktoks of people cooking things in hotel bathrooms? Yeah, like hot dogs in the kettle and shit. They cook hot dogs in the kettle. Or they go to the toilet. They take off the lid from the back of the toilet where the water system is. And they boil that water from the kettle, pour it in.

Then they sous vide steak in there. Oh, that's just wrong. But it's just not poo water. It's just tap water. Ruby, how often are you in hotels? Is this really a big deal for you? No, I'm barely in hotels. Yeah, no.

But whenever I am, it's just I've never seen drop dated. I don't want to victim blame here, Rebs, but you're not actually supposed to just touch the metal bit of the kettle. There's a handle for a reason, my love. You pick it up with that. It's true. Yeah, but there's nothing worse than you flick it, and then you come back like an hour later,

and you give it a little touch to be like, you're still warm, you're still warm. Oh, yeah, to check if it's still warm. You come back hours later, it's still fucking hot. Yeah, I there's nothing worse than you flick it and then you come back like an hour later and you give it a little tap to see if it's still warm. Oh, yeah, to check if it's still warm. If you come back hours later, it's still fucking hot. Yeah, I'm with you. We've got one of those dumb smart kettles that has like keep warm for 15 minutes, but I thought it had like an element underneath that would keep it at perpetual level of warmth. No.

You boil it, then you press keep warm, and it just gives it that, it reboils it every minute. Oh, that'd be annoying. Yeah, so it keeps going every minute for 15 minutes. And then by the time you come back in 15 minutes, it's fucking evaporated, no doubt. Yes, yeah, and then you burn the bottom of it, then you get lead poisoning, and then I'm dead.

All right, thanks for that, Ruby. Really insightful stuff. Yeah, make sure you hit up Pricekeeper Jenna on her Instagram. She'll give you a little bribe for coming on the podcast. Thanks, legend. I'll be going. Now go and make that bagel. Yeah, enjoy.

Yeah. I will too. Have a good one. And make sure you know, do you like our new artwork? I haven't seen it yet, but I saw a little timer thing on it. Oh, yeah. Oh, that makes sense. This doesn't happen live.

Sorry about that. It'll come out as this episode comes out. Well, as you're listening to yourself listening to this, just pretend, just know you'll like it, yeah. But did it block? Oh, did it block? Well, we're going to confirm that on Wednesday. That's in a couple days. God, she's good. That's it, that's it, okay. No, you're fine. You're good. Thanks, Rubes, we love you.

Thanks for listening. Have a good one. See you. Bye. Bye, darling. Sweetheart. I like it. She definitely shouldn't be touching that kettle. It's like someone calling and being like, is it just me or does it hurt when you get run over by a car? I think that's a you problem. You did that. Just anything with the metal on the side of the kettles.

Not exclusive to hotels. No, no, no. I'm with her. Do you know what fucked me off? When I was in Melbourne for Taylor Swift, it was tricky to get accommodation. I ended up staying in a place that was less than glamorous. It was like Brunswick Tower Hotel. Oh, God. It was like Brunswick Tower Hotel. Oh, God.

It was fine. We were just there to sleep. We were out and about all day. It was fine. And I can forgive certain things like the lack of toilet paper and, you know, the unfinished painted walls and the uncomfy beds, what have you. But the thing I couldn't fucking forgive was when I turned up, you know, the free tray of tea bags and whatever, like every hotel, there were no Bickies. Oh, that's big.

I was craving the hotel fucking Bickies the whole way from the airport. The Arnott's are sorted. You get the two pack. It's normally like an Anzac Bicky and then something else, an Arrowroot maybe. Yep. I nearly bought a Bicky on the flight because I remembered my physical card for the snack cart.

Yeah. And I was like, no, no, I'll just eat the hotel Bickies. Fucking dogs. Yeah. Screwed me for the Bickies. Yeah, that'd piss me off too. Yep. I was like, well, no wonder you're only three stars.

That's right. Okay, we should go home, guys. Yeah, we should. Thanks for listening to the show. We will see you in a couple of days for Will It Block. Mm-hmm. Wow. It's exciting.

I mean, Cadbury have called and they want the recipe. And I said, you fuck yourselves. You tell Freddo that he and his bitch wife Caramella, the koala, because they have sex. They're not getting my recipes. Just don't hype it up too much. No, I won't. We're the judges, really.

True. You thought that that fucking abortion of a meal last week, the Snickers, was good. I had so many bitches in my DMs. Complaining. Yeah, but they're like, you fool. Have you never tempered chocolate? I'm like, no, I'm sorry, I've got a job and a life. So no, I haven't tempered chocolate.

They're like, you fool. You microwave in 30 second, one second intervals and you cool it with skim dairy milk. I'm like, shut up! Okay, well maybe you took notes. You'll find out on Wednesday. I did. I did. I had a bain-marie and it was perfect. So you'll find out in a couple of days. All right, catch you then, idiots.

See you, guys. Bye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief, our secret segment on the end. I thought that I'd bloody kicked this flu, but I'm just going to – I can feel my throat going on me again.

I'm going to have to have a bit of water. I also noticed your voice get deeper a couple of octaves. Did you? Oh, really? Yeah, like when we were talking about the hotel in Brunswick, you dropped a couple of dips. I'm always sick. It's hit him.

I don't want to strain my voice. No, no. I'm drinking a kombucha, and I'll tell you what. Oh, why? I'm on the kombucha train. It's so good. Oh, I like kombucha. No way.

Yeah, it's good. No, these ones are good. The remedy ones? Yeah, the remedy ones are the best. Kombucha can get in the bin with your cults. Oh, your cults? Mitchell, your cults are delicious. Disgusting.

What? I love your cults. No, your cults make me want to gas. I love any sort of are delicious. Disgusting. What? I love your colts. No, your colts make me want to gas. I love any sort of dairy drink. I love it. Love cream, love rice pudding. Yeah, but your colts is yuck. Did you just say you like cream?

Yeah. Do you consider that a dairy drink? What, do you just fucking stick a straw in a fucking jar of thickened cream? No, I enjoy dairy beverage. I like an eggnog. Cream was not a good example. You know what fucks? Condensed milk.

Oh my God, yes. Have you seen the condensed milk and red wine trick? They did it on TikTok Tucker on the Jonesy and Amanda breakfast show. You owe money. Fuck, how much do I owe? The swear jar. Jesus Christ, that's a pain in the ass. To be fair, I don't think I actually said that you can't say Jonesy and Amanda.

I said I'm going to have to put a swear jar because every week Jenna brings up Jonesy and Amanda. Twice a week, in fact. So you've just said it twice, but we don't have to pay. It's just you, Jenna. Well, yeah. Maybe we'll just talk about nothing but Jonesy and Amanda. She just has to sit there and not offer any commentary. Do you like working on Jonesy and Amanda?

Yeah. What's the best breakfast show in Australia in your opinion, Jenna? And I'm going to send this to Amanda Kelly. The one on WSFM. What is it called? I can't say the name. It's a dollar. Surely you can spare a dollar.

It's called Jonesy and Amanda. Just one dollar to get transferred. Sorry, I want to go back to the red wine and condensed milk thing. What does it do? Oh, I don't know. You spoke about it, Jenna. It's an Italian thing, isn't it? No.

Well, apparently people on TikTok have been saying it's Italian, but it's really not. Do we have red wine? It's where you put a dollop of condensed milk into a glass of red wine, stir it and go from there. Could I do the same with Rose? Because fuck red wine. I'm sure you could. You probably could, but I think this one calls for just red wine.

There was a particular cookie recipe that I used to make as a kid when I was in my baking era, and it involved a whole can of condensed milk, but I usually only fucking put three quarts of a condensed milk because I ate it by the spoonful as soon as that can was open. Oh, this just brought back

a horrible memory. What? You know how I've got a cut finger at the moment? Yeah. You know like certain tins, maybe tuna or like a tin of peaches or whatever. We'll slice. They have like around the top, there's a ring on the inside. Yeah.

I tried to like run my finger around the edge of the condensed milk can. Oh, Mitchell, no. To lick it off and just slice. When was this? When I was a kid. Was it bad? I mean, I literally just had a visceral fucking whole body reaction when I remembered it. I'm a bit sensitive about finger cuts at the moment.

I just felt that in my gut. Right? Cutting is- Poor little fat fucking Mitchell just wanted a bit of condensed milk and look what happened. Wouldn't have cut the sides though. You had a bit of padding. With my fat fingers, yeah.

It's a Chilean delicacy, if anyone's interested. Chilean delicacy? The red wine and condensed milk. Can you Google rosé if that's an option? Yeah, yeah, I'll do condensed milk and rosé. Surely you can just adapt it to whatever wine you want. Oh, it's actually, yes. Bandung.

Syrup bandung is an Indonesian delicacy. Most popular in maritime Southeast Asia. Indonesia and Singapore. Evaporated. Well, I'm going to Bali in June. Perfect. Oh, there we go. Rosé and you put rosé with condensed milk.

God, condensed milk and anything is delicious. So have we figured out when is our last day in this studio or not? Still a few more weeks. Well, so as the time of recording, this is my last radio show in this building. Okay. I think Jenna. So the Kiss team goes first because it's got Kyle and this is my last radio show in this building. Okay. I think Jenna. So the Kiss team goes first because it's got Kyle and Jackie O and the Kiss shows in their priority. So they go first.

And then is it three weeks later, Jenna, you move with WSFM? Yep. We move first week of April. So we're homeless for three weeks. I don't know how it's going to work. We can still come down. We can use this studio. No one's in this studio.

I thought they were demolishing it. That's a good point. We don't know. Well, there is can use this studio. No one's in this studio. I thought they were demolishing it. That's a good point. We don't know. Well, there is also the podcast studio. Yeah, but then, oh my God, I got new pics of the podcast studio. Guys, I think if we want, we can build a set. Yeah, you mentioned that last week. But like, what do you mean?

Because you said that we're going to have to pay for it, but then where are we storing it? Well, no. So what happens is there's iHeart Podcast. This whole building is like ARN's now the biggest media company in Australia, whatever. This is like, they're showing showing it off and they are. It's beautiful. So there's two podcast studios is basically what we use now. If you watch our socials, it's the same as this, but a bit spec here.

Then there's a studio, which is like just a television studio in Hollywood. Right. And it's black walls. It's got a glass producer area outside so they can patch in and then you can it, and the team there will bump in, bump out as per the show. So say, for example, the IJM set is a giant yellow couch with three microphones. And we have to supply the giant yellow couch. Yeah, we'd have to buy what we want, and then they'd all bring it in when we record and bring it out when we record.

I feel like if we turned up with a fucking trailer and a giant yellow couch and said, right, this is our set, they'd be like, what? Yeah. We didn't agree to this. No, they would. I mean, we're one of the longest serving podcasts on iHeart, for God's sake. That is true. But where are they storing it?

Oh, there's a full storage cabinet. Okay. Cabinet for a couch. I'm so pissed off. They raided the street team area downstairs and let everyone take what they wanted. Here? Yes. Why aren't we invited?

Nat, who works here, your architnemesis, got a Google HomePod and a JBL speaker. Oh, well, a couple of weeks ago I did get a pair of Phil Collins signed jeans. What? Yeah. Phil Collins, the singer? Yeah. He took his pants off, signed them and left them here? Is that what you're suggesting?

Yeah. And they're in a frame. Yeah. Are all those frames up for grabs? Yeah. Downstairs? Yeah. I might take one.

Yeah. No, I'm going away this weekend. I'm so excited. Oh. We're three days away. Where are you going? Back to Bogengate. Oh, nice.

Jane's 60th. Is it? Oh, that'll be nice. She's not having an official 60th, but I was like, I'll still go down. We'll go to the pub or something. She deserves to be celebrated. She's not having an official 60th, but I was like, I'll still go down. We'll go to the pub or something. She deserves to be celebrated. You and Sean? No, Sean can't make it this time, but we're going back for Easter in a couple of weeks.

Oh, nice. Yeah, cute. Guess what she wanted for her fucking birthday? What? It's her 60th. She deserves something great. The Sam Sling equivalent of an Apple Watch. Oh, no, she didn't.

Oh, I could Google. And I'm like, oh, my God, that is going to be hysterical to watch her try and use that. Did you buy it for her? Yeah. And I think, because you know how mums sometimes, they'll hear their mobile phone ringing and they just don't clock that it's theirs. Of course. And then you'll be like, mum, that's your phone.

Yeah. And they'll go, oh, is it? Yeah. They start faffing around in the handbag. And then by the time they find it, it's rung out. I reckon she's going to have the same. Or they hear somebody else's and it's a completely different ringtone and they're like, oh, my phone.

My phone, yeah. Yeah, true. I reckon this smartwatch is not going to help because she'll go, oh, it's ringing. How do I answer it? I don't know what to press. It'll ring out. Yeah, of course.

My mum does not hang up and this is not like a joke. She just doesn't think that's something you have to do. So I will call mum. She'll go, bye. See you. See you. See you. Bye.

Oh, God. All right. Sean does the same thing. I've got your flybys here. Thank you. How's your day? And they will not hang up because she has one of those wallet cases, right? So she just flaps it closed and she thinks that is done.

That really should be enough, you'd think. You think? Apple should put some sensor in there for the mums Yeah So they know when you close the wallet Yeah That's the call done Oh, God

You know like the iPad cases Don't they do that? I'm not sure Yeah Maybe You know what I did the other day? Hmm You know when you've got an iMessage open, like ready to type

Yes And you've got the cursor there, the keyboard's up, you're about to type And it's, yeah If you put the phone to your ear, it will automatically start recording a voice message. Oh, that's cool. And so I was texting someone. Voice to text or like? No, an actual voice message.

Wow. I was texting someone and then put the phone down on my lap, proceeded to bitch about them for five minutes. And then I picked it up and it recorded the whole thing. Thank God I pressed X. It didn't send. It was just like, recording done. I was like, ah, there's a five-minute recording.

Imagine that would end that friendship. Well, to be fair, it wasn't mostly me. It was the friends I was with started bitching. Other people were bitching. Yeah. And I can't remember how much I had to say or if it would have been bad for me, but I'm like, oh, I cannot send that. That would end the – I send a nude to the family group chat on Snapchat.

No. But you can delete snaps these days. So, like, in two seconds, I deleted it. Why does your family have a group Snapchat? That's how we all communicate. Through Snapchat? Yeah. Growing adults.

Yeah. Actually, it's got family, friends, uncles, aunties, everyone. Cousins. Interesting. I don't even use Snapchat. Yeah. It's for children. I wonder if I've still got my Snapchat account logged in.

Where is my phone? Let me check. It's for children. I wonder if I've still got my Snapchat account logged in. Where is my phone? Let me check. I can search you. Hold on. Where is my fucking phone? Oh, there it is. Don't stress, everyone. I'm not worried.

I was petrified. Thank you, Jenna. Oh, shit. I am still logged in. Send me a nude. Am I still on the map? Oh, I've turned mine off. Do you know what?

I reckon that in the time that I've known you, I'd already stopped using Snapchat. It's possible that we never actually got around to becoming Snapchat friends. Yeah, same. I don't think we are. I don't think I am with you. Do you want to join? Not really.

Do you want to snap me, Jenna? What, another platform for you to ignore me on? That's not true. In fact, you've been terrible. It would be the safest bet, actually, Snapchat. Jenna and I will only talk about how bad you've become with your replies. You used to be so on it and you take days to reply now. What do you mean?

You've slipped. You're just shocking with replies. Oh. How does that medicine of yours taste? I'm just saying. Jenna and I both noticed. What do you mean? What did I do?

Just trying to organise this podcast. Have you both noticed or is he just putting words in your mouth? Yeah, we've noticed. It doesn't look like shit. Jenna, why? You're the worst communicator. You host a podcast, you work at a radio show. You sound like you've got a gun to your mouth. Yep, we've noticed. It doesn't look like shit. Why? You're the worst communicator. You host a podcast, you work at a radio show. You sound like you've got a gun to your head.

Yeah, it's not good. She's just trying to go along with your version. But no, what do you mean? What did I do? No, you just take so long to reply these days. Try not to lock in a time and date for the podcast. It's very hard. You reply the day of.

No, because I read that message that you sent yesterday saying, can we start a bit early at 12? I read that as like an FYI. I didn't think I needed to reply because I was like, yeah, I'll be there at 12 because I've been the one going, can we record earlier so I can beat peak hour traffic? As if I would say no to recording at 12. I know.

I know. No, I sort of read that as an FYI. Let's start at 12. And I was like, Roger that. No, I know. I didn't know I needed to be like, confirmed. No, it's alright, but you know, we will be counting. Sure.

We'll start a tally. That was Jenna's idea, wasn't it, Jenna? It was my idea for the tally. See, now you're having a play along. Oh, it's really not a problem. Although I have an Apple Watch, I've turned off all my I think I've said on this on the show, I have all notifications turned off on my Apple Watch. So what's the point of it?

It tells the time. Back to grassroots watch stuff. It tracks my fitness and I can do timers and it's got Siri. So I send a lot of texts with my Apple Watch. Apple Watch is like an old school. You just put it up to your mouth and speak and then it starts to send. You don't even have to say send a text. Oh, right.

Yeah. So I use it for all that, my activity. I don't think I would like that because if I accidentally got something wrong and wanted to edit the text. Yeah, true. Let it for all that, my activity. I don't think I would like that because if I accidentally got something wrong and wanted to edit the text. Yeah, true. Let me try. Ready? Send Mitchell Coombs a text message saying, hello, how are you?

But then what if you went, actually don't send it yet. I actually want to say this. Yeah, so it's working. It's got a timer. Look, you've got, look, 10. Oh, I see. And then it sends it. I use it for that.

In the time it took you to do that, you could have just picked up your phone and sent the text. I just don't get the Apple Watches. I never to do that, you could have just picked up your phone and sent the text. I just don't get the Apple Watches. I never have. I love my watch. Yeah. Did you just get one? No, I got it a few years ago.

Jenna tracks everything to the point where it's embarrassing. I get a notification that goes, Jenna Benson finished a workout. I go, oh, good. She's probably done Pilates. Indoor stretching for three minutes. Why bother? Part of my Peloton. Do you reckon the step counter, what is it called?

A pedometer. Yeah, that thing. Do you reckon that's more accurate on the watch versus the phone? Yeah. Because it's so funny. Sean gets so pissed off. We can spend all day together, go to the exact same places. We'll check our step count at the end of the day.

Mine will say 15,000. His will say 6,000. He's like, how could that be? Yeah. I guess I go to the bathroom more often than you. Maybe it's his will say 6,000. He's like, how could that be? Yeah. I guess I go to the bathroom more often than you. Maybe it's all the walks to the toilet. He's taller though. He's got a longer stride.

That is a thing. Because there's less steps. But also, I'm not like drastically shorter taking all these tiny steps, am I? No, you're not. No. Maybe I'm just a bit more erratic and my phone, whenever it gets shaken, it registers as a step. Oh, maybe.

Yeah. Maybe you're just shaky and a little anxious. So it's like, he's walking a lot. It's like three steps. Oh my God. Do you know what it is? Sometimes a little anxious. So it's like he's walking a lot. It's like three steps. Oh, my God. Do you know what it is? Sometimes when I'm sitting and I'm feeling fidgety, I do this with the leg. Oh.

I shake the leg like this. It probably thinks they're steps. It thinks you're running. Apple Watch is going to start congratulating you. Well done on that run. 4K indoor run. I'm that annoying person that kind of like jiggles the leg sometimes. That'd be it.

That actually would be it because that's all it's measuring. Fuck, I've only just clocked it. That's so funny. You know what I've added? I've got my steps on my front screen so I don't have to go anywhere. Oh, God. But the problem is the app's called Pedometer Plus. So when you then download it, you can add a widget to your front screen.

But in the options, it is just pedo. I don't want that on my app. Delete. All right. Shall we go on that note? Maybe. Yeah, probably should. We hope this podcast made shall we go on that note? Maybe. Yeah, probably should. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today.

That's all. So we do. So we do. Welcome to Season 6 officially, bitches. Season 6. Look at that image. Isn't it hot? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We look so good. Well done all. So we'll block in a couple of days. Yes. I'm so excited. And prying into your personal life. See ya. Can't wait. Bye. Yes. I'm so excited. And prying into your personal life. See ya. Can't wait.

Bye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.