Is It Just Me? - #193: Plop

Episode Date: March 17, 2024

In this episode: We need a drive-thru Bunnings (10:08) How to make a tradie your new best friend (19:20) Mordialloc or “Mordilock”??? (26:50) Does Chocolate taste better in the morning? (31:47) Coombs’ dreadful passport photos (38:58) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (40:25)   Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you! Hello you! Go! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. So I'll be going to Wicked as a cowboy. What?

Because it's the Halloween weekend. We're wearing costumes and I'm going as a cowboy. To Wicked? Yeah. No, you can't do that. You can't. Imagine if I went to a Titanic exhibition as a Mario brother. It doesn't make any sense.

Now, here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, you. Hello, you. Oh, my God. I don't know what's going on. I'm just a warning for this episode, but I'm in a state. A state of what? I'm just in a state.

We're in between moves at the radio station where the podcast studio will move to the new Ijum Tower that we constructed that overlooks the Sydney Harbour. It's gorgeous. We're still in the old building at the moment and it looks like such a ghost town in here. It's so gross. The iHeartRadio offices have been gutted. Kiss FM's in the new studios. So I'm between studios.

So I'm in the new broadcast studios by night and then by day I'm here. It's just like, I'm just frazzled. Oh, so you're in between two spots. Yeah. It's like when you're moving house and you've got a week of overlap where you're paying double rent. Yeah. Where do I sleep? Where do I put the bed?

Oh, my God. And you've got to cancel your gas and your electricity, and then someone comes for a meter read, but then you've got to get it in the new place. Then you've got to cancel your internet, which no one tells you about. It's a pain in the ass. I haven't done any get it in the new place. Then you've got to cancel your internet, which no one tells you about. It's a pain in the ass. I haven't done any of that for the new building. I was going to say, how much effort is involved on your behalf? No, teething in the new building sucks because it's a progressive building. We've been really blessed in this building.

It's old and we don't own the building, but it's our own building. No one else shares the tenancy, right? But in this new building, we're level 17 of 18 towers, 18 levels. Who's upstairs? Who got the penthouse? That's a good question, actually. Oh, Coke. Because it's the Coca-Cola building.

Oh, right. The Coca-Cola building. That's also where I keep my Coke. Yeah, I've got a locker on level 18. But it's one of those progressive buildings. So there's not a bin. There are six bins that are colour-coded, and in the induction, you are told which colour represents which waste.

How can there be six? How many people are throwing out mulch in an office? No, there's not. But there's organics, which is like meat, scraps, rice, bones, food. Then there's plastic recycling, paper recycling, just fucking paper without ink. Then there's landfill. How many people are throwing out paper without ink? I don't know.

Why would you do that? I don't get it. It's a blank piece of paper in that case. It's just like one of those really fancy buildings and you've got to swipe everywhere and there's a concierge and it's a lot. So I'm just a bit, I'm feeling a bit tired. So apologies if I have some brain farts. No, that's all right.

We're used to them. It's fine. It's part of the charm. No, I've been brain fart free, haven't I, for quite a while? Yeah. You know. The delay in answering, I thought I was doing really well in terms of brain elasticity. Elasticity.

Yeah. Like your brain's a fucking stress ball. Yeah. Speaking of stress ball, Price Giver Jenna is here. Hi, Jenna. Hi. Great to have you. Did I tell you, Jenna, I'm a little bit excited about when we eventually move to the new studio

because they don't have much parking and so it's not going to be like here where I can just rock up and hopefully someone's working from home and there's a free spot. I've never had any trouble finding a park here. No one's left a note or anything. There's just usually one free. Yeah. Whereas the new place, it's very limited. There's 30 parking spots for like thousands of staff members.

Yeah. It's nuts. There's 200 staff members. No, but in the tower. It's not just us. Told you I'm angry. I haven't been yet. That was my first snap of the day.

No, but I'm excited because when we moved to the new office, I don't have a parking spot. And I said to Cherry, how the fuck am I going to get there to record? Because if I have to catch a train or a bus or something, all it takes is one bus not rocking up. Yeah, you're fucked. Or me missing one train. And officially, I'm in a tiz.

And it's going to throw my performance as an artist on this podcast. Of course, no doubt. I need to be tiz free. And so Mitch is going to give me a lift. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. I mean, yeah, my schedules vary up in the air.

Pending schedule. That's so nice of you. Do you want me to pay you? No, I don't want to be paid. I don't need to be paid i don't need the money because i know that your schedule varies but in either case aren't you driving to the studio especially for the podcast uh yeah but then i stay there and i work yeah well yeah i don't need to live time it's just getting there no i know but detouring to where you live

is actually it's a it's about it'd be a 15 minute detour again do i need to pay you or something i would do you two 15 minutes for you any day of the week, of course. Would you, Jenna? No. No. Well, she can't drive, so. Oh, yeah, true. Even if you wanted to, you fucking couldn't. Why are you back, Penelope? We agreed to this. We were excited. I'm not back. No, I'm excited. I'm just saying, I don't think it'll be an every week thing. Why not?

I just don't want to commit to it. In case the day comes I can't and I get in trouble. Well, why wouldn't you be able to? Because my schedule changes all the time. But then if you're running late to the podcast, then it's going to be late anyway. So it doesn't matter if I get my own way there. If you're running late, then we can't record.

You know what I mean? Yeah, you're not wrong. So it doesn't make a difference, really. No, it does. I mean, sometimes what if I'm rushing? What if I'm late? I just said that. If you're late to the podcast i have to wait for

you anyway yeah that's just putting a lot of onus on me is it please it's giving your mate a leave that's a lot of owners no no i'm just saying every week but it's gonna happen it's exciting i'm just supposed to get in mitchell i know how you work if you you just drive there's parking i can't drive there's no parking there is parking on the street there's but all day there's not oh i've heard. It's really hard to get. I work. And obviously people that are rocking up at like 8.30am or something, they'd probably get all the spots.

There's plenty of parking. So I just don't want to commit because I know how you work. You're like, you've promised this and I've sold my car now. I'm not selling my car. I'll ride me Fenway Borgignese. What's its name? My bike My bike I'm not riding my bike

All the way over the fucking harbour bridge You know what I want to do? Maybe we could do it on the show Actually we can't Because we're not live We're on the cloud I want to do it on my radio show Where I overlook the harbour bridge

I go call now If you're listening And you're on the harbour bridge And flash your lights Right Because I can see the harbour bridge Wouldn't that be fun? Why do they need to call to do that?

Well so I So no We don't have to call. I just say on the air, flash your lights. And then I watch the bridge. I think Rove McManus pulled a stunt like that back in the day. He had a camera overlooking, oh, what was it? Where does the Prime Minister fucking live? Kirribilli. Kirribilli, that's a little bit.

Kirribilli House, yeah. On the other side of the bridge, on the north side. I remember this. And he was like, everyone watching right now, just turn your house lights off and on. And there were all these apartments flashing on his road line. It was really cool. Time has changed now. You can't get people to flash their fucking high beams

on the bridge. That's a bit of a hazard, actually. That'd be just my luck. All the people behind them. Twelve dead in Radio Stunt Gone Wrong. Mitch Turey urges drivers to turn lights off at 10pm. Because then all the people that are listening to Smooth and they're in front of the person flashing their lights, they're going to be like, what the fuck's going on? Do I pull

over? No, I just, okay, maybe I won't. It's a gorgeous idea. I get where you're coming from but it might be a bit dangerous. Flip on your windscreen wipers. Or it could be depressing and no one does it. What if, because it's radio and flashing lights, you can't hear that.

What if you just got everyone to beep their horn? I wouldn't be able to hear that from the studio. Oh, if you send someone down there with a mic. Oh, that's a good idea. But then you could absolutely fake the whole thing if you can't hear it anyway. You could be like, ha ha, everyone's flashing their light. It worked. Amazing.

No. Oh, that's true. And everyone would just have to take your fucking word for it. A New York street. But then also, I could just do sound effects on the desk. Be like, we've got roving reporter Paula down there on the Harbour Bridge. Do we get anyone? Honk your horns now. Yeah, perfect.

Wow. That's it. Incredible. That works. That sounds really good. What did you say the reporter's name was? Paula. Paula.

I'll be Paula. Okay. All right. We cross now. Hold on. Should we make it very kiss? We probably should. Sure.

All right. That is a very fucking kiss. All right. Live now on the Sydney Harbour Bridge, we have roving reporter Paula who joins us now. Hi, Paula. How are you? Hi, Mitch. I'm waiting by the bridge to hear if everyone honks their horn

once you give them the countdown. Okay. On three, everybody. One, two, three. Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, wow. Mitch, it's so loud down here.

Yes, it's incredible. It did sound like someone hit another person. Did that happen? Ow. Oh. Paula. Paula like someone hit another person. Did that happen? Ow! Oh! Paula! Paula's deceased now. Wow.

I don't think that'd be good. Wow. Sorry, that's the International Passenger Terminal. Your phone's falling into the sea. Yeah, there's a cruise nearby. Under the bridge. Just get a water. I've dropped my phone off the bridge.

What would I search? Plop. I just searched plop! I just searched plop. I just searched plop. What else would you call it if not a plop? Let's do it again one more time. Roving reporter Paula is down live. She's joining us on the phone now.

Let's get her up. Hold on. We're just calling her through. We'll get Paula on. Connecting to the Harbour Bridge. Paula, are you there? Yes, Mitch. I'm standing by on the Harbour Bridge. Paula, are you there? Yes, Mitch. I'm standing by on the Harbour Bridge.

I'm very excited. We're going to see if everyone can honk in unison once you give them the countdown, buddy. All right. It's a gorgeous day. The sea is blue. There are dolphins jumping. Let's go.

One, two, three. Oh, Mitch, it worked. It worked. It's so loud You're so excited you've just dropped your phone Oh Paula What was that? That's a poo

That's actually terrible Okay Well if it's your first time listening Welcome to Is It Just Me We start every episode with an Is It Just Me each Something we've noticed, hate or appreciate Yeah Mitch doesn't know mine I don't know Mitch's No I've got no fucking clue over here Dom We start every episode with an Is It Just Me each. Something we've noticed, hate or appreciate. Yeah, Mitch doesn't know mine.

I don't know Mitch's. No, I've got no fucking clue over here, Dom. No, mine's just something I've noticed this week. I got a little new drive to work and I'm a bit frazzled with my surroundings. When you have a normal drive to work, you know your check marks, you know your landmarks, you know what you're going to go past, you know what you can get, you can't get. But in this new area, I was searching for something, couldn't find it. Righto, hit me. Am I going first?

Let's just get into it. All right, let's jump in. Is it just me, or? Do more businesses need to embrace the drive-thru model? Why? There are not enough drive-thrus. Think about it. McDonald's, hugely successful.

Yep. Oporto also has drive-thrus, hugely successful. Guzman y Gomez, Mexican, now do drive-thru. KFC. Successful. KFC does drive-thru. Red Rooster, of course. Red Rooster.

What do they all have in common? They're fast food outlets. You know what I'd kill for? A drive-thru fucking Bunnings. Wouldn't that be incredible? Takes all the guesswork out of the aisles. And it's not the same as Click and Collect. No, it's not the same.

Because it's hours between. Correct. They're very different models. So the drive-through model, it really only works on places that you can grab something off a shelf. It's also arguably quicker than fast food because you don't have to cook anything. So Bunnings, if you've got like a staff of 10 that just wait at windows that can run to an aisle and get something, that is a speedy drive-through.

I don't reckon it'd be that speedy. Really? Some Bunnings are bigger than others, but imagine having to run through the aisles. Well, yeah, they'd have to condense the aisles. They'd have to be a separate section. I just think the model... They'd have somebody on the intercom thing

and then another team retrieving the items. 100%. And then like at Macca's, they'd be like, sorry, it's going to take a while, can you park? In the waiting bay. Yeah. Yeah, see, that'd be a pain in the arse. What about an Ikea drive-thru?

Would that not be incredible? I like that. If it means I can avoid ever entering Ikea, then sure. Thank you. But imagine driving through a showroom. They couldn't fully mock it up. Oh, that'd be cool. You know the bottle-o's that have the drive-thru bottle-o's?

They exist. You kind of drive in and it's like you're in a house. And you go, oh, I want that, I want that, I want that, I want that. You drive through and you get it. I noticed when I was in Melbourne a couple of weekends ago that they have more drive-through things than Sydney. Oh, that's interesting. What did you know?

There were like drive-through cafes. There was even a drive-through kebab shop. And I'm thinking, fuck, if anyone's got a hankering for a kebab, they're in no state to drive, typically speaking. That's not a good idea. I've never actually had the thought to have a kebab sober, ever. Imagine the amount of fucking taxis and Ubers that have been sent through there with drunk people in the back.

See, that is a brilliant idea. What about a drive-through chemist, guys? Get your prescription on the run. Don't have to get out of the car. But I love a chemist run. Yeah, I know. I know that makes me sound 100, but I do. The other things you've said have made you sound 100.

Don't worry. What else do you think would work? Do you think there's any brands that would work? Oh, this is brilliant. Emergency room drive-thru. Sometimes you're not too sick to go to the full hospital, but you go, something's wrong. There's no doctor.

I want to talk to someone. A drive-thru hospital would be incredible. And if it's anything like the Macca's drive-thru, for instance, they seem to prioritise drive-thru orders. If you're standing there in store, they'll get someone else's order ready before yours because they're more prioritise drive-thru orders. If you're sitting there in store, they'll get someone else's order ready before yours because they're more urgent about drive-thru. So I could have driven through the drive-thru hospital

and been like, I cut my finger cooking. Can you please give me stitches now? Totally, totally. Rather than having to wait in the fucking waiting room for ages. Look, that's my wound. Oh, show me. Oh, fuck. You need trigger warning before that thing.

I'm giving it a band-aid free day. Mitchell, that's a gash. Yeah, it's a proper gash. I can put it side on and it's really disturbing. Oh, that. Oh, my God. You need trigger warning before that thing. I'm giving it a Band-Aid free day. Mitchell, that's a gash. Yeah, it's a proper gash. I can see it's side on and it's really disturbing. Oh, that needed stitches. Probably. It's got spray on Band-Aid on at the moment. I don't think that's how that works.

I just think the model is brilliant and other businesses aren't adding it on. It seems so straightforward. I know in Dubbo they've got the cafe drive-thru and it does very very well. Yeah, I reckon it would. A cafe drive-thru is so easy. I also think that even though it's fast food, you can't fuck with a drive-thru subway. No, you could. That would take forever. No, it really

wouldn't. But imagine just multiple windows with the vegetables and the fruit on the right hand side. Yes, I want salt and pepper. Would you like a cookie? Drive down to the next window, please. Is there any drive-thru subways? Maybe that's already a thing. I reckon it could be a nightmare. Well, in the US they have drive-thru ATMs,

which I think is genius. I saw them. Yeah, they do. And drive-thru banks. Yeah. Apparently there's a drive-thru subway in the Logan area, southeast Queensland, and there's one in Wangaratta, Victoria. Oh, wow, in Australia? Craigieburn.

Oh, I love Craigieburn. I love Craigieburn, yeah. Well, I've googled it. In the US, they do voting polls via the drive-thru. You can vote in your federal election

via a drive-thru. How are you supposed to get a sausage sanger? They don't have that. Now that's the only thing that Bunnings drive-thru should sell. Just sausage sandwiches.

Oh, so no product, no stuff. Nah, just the sausage sandwiches. Did I tell you that my friend and I had an idea? Yeah. We wanted to open a ghost kitchen because one night we just wanted a sausage sanger and they're not on Uber Eats.

Yes. So we were like, right, we're opening a ghost kitchen. It can be in my apartment. Yeah. And we're just doing Uber Eats sausage sizzles. How does that work? What's a ghost kitchen? As in like you can't actually,

it's similar to the bloody Donna Hay thing. You know how you walked into her business but you could only order the cookies on Uber Eats sausage sizzles. How does that work? What's a ghost kitchen? As in like you can't actually, it's similar to the bloody Donna Hay thing. You know how you walked into her business, but you could only order the cookies on Uber Eats? Yes, got it, the bitch. So you can't visit the restaurant in person. They're just online orders. And so it's just us in the apartment whipping up sausage sizzles. Not much variation, just barbecue or tomato, bit of mustard maybe,

wholemeal or white bread. That's pretty much the exception. Onions, you'd need onions too. Onions, yeah, you're right. You're fucking right. Problem is you need to do a surcharge for Uber Eats and then what? A $6 delivery fee for a $2 sausage sandwich? That's going to be-

There's a proper gap in the market. It's gaping like my finger, that gap in the market. We need sausage sandwiches on Uber Eats. We need to get Jenna. She's your aunt, I think. Janine Ellis from the Boost project. Yeah, yeah. Get her on because I think we need to pitch to her.

I reckon we could get Janine Ellis on. Why are you getting Jenna to do that? They look the same. Have you spoken to Janine Ellis before? I have spoken to Janine Ellis before. You've probably got more of an in. I think she might have a following. Let's just pitch her all these shit ideas and see how polite she is about it.

Let me DM her. Janine Ellis, for the international listeners, she created Boost Juice, the biggest juice franchise in Australia. Love a good fucking Boost Juice. I've never had to take advantage of the one-sip guarantee. Do they have that? Apparently, yeah. You know what I love?

And I don't want to say take advantage of the children. They do hire a lot of children. But sometimes you go, my fun fact is, my hack, sorry, is never order a large boost because the kids never get the quantities right. You always just end up getting a large. Oh, my God, they've got that giant fuck-off blender, and then they just tap it in with their hand. And then there's so much left.

They go, I'm just going to upgrade you for free. And I go, thank you. And I fully knew you were going to do that because you put so much makeup on there. Also, if they're young, you just order a small because you're going to end up with a fucking lot. They always make more because they never get the. Because they'll be like, oh, it's a small, but I've had to put it in a bigger. Yes. I'm not joking.

I actually think it's happened every time I've ordered a booze. Sweet. I have just Googled in in Europe only, in Switzerland, there is a drive-through brothel. You can get sex. They will come in your car. Well. Wouldn't have said come.

No, apologies. Is it just me? Make sure you leave a review on your podcast app. If you don't, you're a little bitch. Now, before I tell you what to expect from episode 194, which is out on Wednesday, let me just ask a quick question to both of you in the room. Have you been a bit tired lately, struggling to sleep?

I mean, yeah. I started this episode by saying I'm pissed off and grumpy and overworked. Yes, of course. I've been very sleepy. Have you been struggling to get to sleep and stay asleep? I'm trying to think if I've seen any sponsored Instagram stories from you this week. What is it? Is this some sort of client integration?

Spinal ease. Spinal ease. No. Don't be so cynical. I'm not being cynical. Don't you snap at me. I'm trying to help you. That's the third snap of the day.

Oh, you're trying to get me on those fucking magnesium tablets. I'm already on them. No. I've just bought some, so we'll see how I'm going to do. Yeah, Mitchell got me onto them. They actually do help. I have been a bit restless, yes. Yeah, so I've got a sleep hack that I want to try.

Oh, okay. On Wednesday's episode. Oh, great. I don't know if you're actually going to fall asleep in the studio, but if it happens, it happens. It's worth a try. In this current mindset of mine, I feel like it could happen. We'll have to make sure for Wednesday that we've got that extension cord

on the mic. Maybe you should actually lie down on the floor. Yeah, let's do it. Let's fully commit to this. Okay, yeah, I'll commit, yeah. And then the idiots can see if it works for them too. I'd kill for a little nap. Particularly, it helps with the ADHD mind, or even without ADHD, if you've got that monkey brain,

like the thoughts are racing, you can't switch off and go to sleep. Yeah. This might help. Okay, wow. I'm down. I'll take any help I can get when it comes to sleep. Fabulous. I got your back, darling.

Do I need to bring my sleep apnea machine? No. Because I'll choke. I'll be embarrassed if you hear me choking on the floor. No, we don't need that. It's all good. Because I do have mouth tape in my glove box. Oh, well, that could come in handy.

Okay, good. Just to shut you up. Come on. Why do you bring that in every day? Also on Wednesday, I assume all of you are across the Kate Middleton so-called Photoshop scandal. I'm living for this. Whatever the fuck Kate is doing or not doing is so interesting to me.

I think she's dead, to be honest. Well, I hope that's not the case. No, no, no. I'm not wishing it upon her. No, there's definitely more to the story. But basically, the more to the story. But basically, the version of the story they're telling us is that Kate got caught out editing a photo. And all I'm here to say is that it happens to the best of us, Katie.

And on Wednesday, I'll share my most embarrassing Photoshop fail, which also made headlines. You've got a Kate Middleton moment. I do. You also almost had an international celebrity get involved with some litigation, some suing. Yes, you're right. You're right. That was bad. That was a bad. That's a good hook. That was a grim period in Mitch's life. It really was. All right. We'll do that on Wednesday's show, right? Yeah, we will. We've got Is It Just You coming up in a bit. Do you want to do your Is It Just Me now, though, Mitchell? I'm ready. Hit me, Bradley.

Bradley. Is it just me or have you figured out the key to win over tradies? Oh, I'm not really interacting with tradies much. Oh, it must be nice. No. It must be nice that your home isn't crumbling around you. No, it's not. Well, clearly you have.

Yeah, I need to know the key. Jenna's dating one at the moment. The good thing about living in a rental is that it's kind of not your problem if something is wrong you just send a fucking email to the property manager and mine are really good like there's usually a tradie there that day or at least the next day that's very it is really good not the norm and so often they come over and a lot of the time towards me, I can tell they're a little bit tiptoe-y around me because they probably take one look at me and go, oh, fuck, is it a he, is it a they, what do I do? And they seem a little bit reserved.

Yeah, they choke on their big M and their servo pipe. Yeah, they do. And then I figured out the way to win them over and so they're just at ease and we've got a vibe going. Yeah. Just drop an F-bomb. Oh. Not at them.

You don't call them a fucker or anything. No. But if you just drop an F-bomb, you just see the weight off their shoulders. Show me. And they're so much more relaxed. Give me an example. So I'll be the tradie. Yeah.

And I'll walk into your office. The other day there was a tradie that had to come over because my tap in the bathroom was broken. Yeah. And he walked in and goes, oh, what seems to be the problem? So just ask me that. Yeah. And I'll walk into your office. The other day, there was a tradie that had to come over because my tap in the bathroom was broken. Yeah. And he walked in and goes, oh, what seems to be the problem? So just ask me that. Yeah. Oh, fucking, what's that cat?

Ugly cat. Oh, no, he wasn't swearing. He was like tiptoeing, like a bit nervous around me. He looked like, I could be imagining it a little bit, but it looked like he just didn't want to say anything to offend me because I look woke. Yeah, of course. Yeah. And you've got a lot of colour in your apartment. Yeah.

That would terrify him. He was fine with the cat. No, I hide the cat when they come over in case they knock. I'm not supposed to have pet. No, pussy would get you brownie points. Those types. All right. Yeah, what's the problem here, mate?

Oh, I'm not even fucking sure, to be honest. I'm hoping you can figure it out. Yeah. It's very that. Yeah, okay. I can see your point. That makes sense. The other day, there were tradies in the elevator as I was taking the recycling down.

Yeah. And I had quite a few Amazon boxes and they were quite big. And I got in the lift with them and they said to me, Ah, you've been doing a bit of shopping, buddy. And it was sort of like in a mocking way, like, hmm, been doing a bit of shopping, have you, sweetheart? A little bit like that. Your only girl shop.

Yeah. And then I fired back with, yeah, I don't know why I ordered the tiniest thing on Amazon and they put it in the biggest fucking box. I don't get it. And they just went, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that always seems to be the way, mate. And I was like, yeah, yeah, mate, yeah. When they see you, ding, off they go. You just drop an F-bomb and it wins them over.

They would have loved it. I'm like, we're on the same level, Dale, don't you stress. You could have also said nothing worse than a big empty box and they would have loved it. You know, they really love degrading other people. It's a shame to see a big gaping box go to waste, isn't it? Oh, they would have loved it. And that works with gays as well, to be honest.

See, that just bridges the divide. What if they found that really misogynistic? It's the F-bomb that wins them over, I'm telling you. That would be more surprising. It's like, how dare you? It's on International Women's Week. You'd be like, what did you just say? It should be.

Yeah, well, you've cracked the code. I don't think that works for everyone, though. Like, if you said that to a pastor, that would really upset them. Are they a tradie? No. I said how to win over a tradie. I'm not saying to go call a nun a fuckhead. No, I know.

Don't get it twisted. Maybe give it a go. No, I'll be fine. Jenna, why don't we give you a roving report to do? Hello, sister fat fuck. I have to confess my sins. There you go. I'm not having many tradie interactions, to be honest with you.

I've got some tradies in my family. I might try it. I feel like you wouldn't have any trouble, though, because even that time that you were trying to leave your house and there were roadworks out the front and you couldn't get your car out and you were just like, oh, sorry, mate, blah, blah, blah. I feel like you can bloke it up. Yeah. I can't bloke it up.

The only thing I've got up my sleeve is just being foul. That's my only secret weapon. Yes, and I've never been able to achieve that. Imagine me trying to be like, G'day, copper. How are you, chief? Come on, big dog, come in. I don't say that. That was good, actually.

That was very good. Maybe I can bloke it up. Your straight voice is very good. Yeah. Jenna, you're such a liar. No, no. I remember when I first met him. I'm a bit out of practice, Jenna.

Straight voice. I'm a bit out of practice, actually. I'm a bit out of practice, actually. It's been years since. It has been a long time. Yeah. What is something I said? How much are you, sugar tits? That's just a lie.

Yeah. Oh, that's good. Look how good he is. When you just bring it in, naturalise it a bit, it's better. Naturalise it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I just like to allow energy.

Because before you're excited. Yeah, it's just a lack of gusto. That's how you sound like to allow energy. Because before you're an excited tradie. Yeah, it's just a lack of gusto. That's how you sound like a straight man. You sound like your brother. That's actually who I'm channeling, to be honest. And he's also a tradie. He is a tradie. He's a bummer.

That's funny. I think it works well on you. It suits you. I think they'd know that I'm putting on a fucking facade if a tradie walked in and I went, yeah, g'day, chief. Check out the rack on that bitch in Unit 9. Totally. I want to see their reaction.

Sean walks out in his undies. Yeah, it's me, brother. That's worse. It's a one-bedroom apartment. We're here for a hen's doo. Yeah, you should have been here five minutes earlier. We just let the prozzie out. Yeah.

Did you see that whore on the way out? That big box not talking about Amazon? Well. Awful. I hate being a straight man. That's awful. I want the record to show that that is not how I truly feel. And you spent so long being one.

I really did. You did. What a waste of time. Have you told the story about someone that you claim to have rooted on this podcast pulling you up? The girl? Yes. I don't think I have. Are you allowed to tell that? She podcast pulling you up. The girl? Yes. I don't think I have. Are you allowed to tell her?

She's told me not. I can't name her. But the problem is that you did, and she confronted you and said, we never fucked. And then Mitch said, I'm so sorry. I was protecting the identity of the woman that I actually fucked. And she goes, but then you better remember about me. He used the first and last name of a real person to cover the identity

of the real woman he fucked. And she was furious. I know. It's like the police being like, did you kill Sam? I'm like, no, I killed Brenda. No, I saw her recently in the Shire because I moved back home. And she was like, hey, so good to see you.

You know, you're doing so well. We love to see it. Can you stop telling people we had sex? I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, well, you said you had sex and you named me in full. I'm like, oh, but we didn't. She's like, I know. That's precisely the issue.

And I'm like, oh, I see the problem. So to protect the real identity of the girl that I had sex with, I just used a fake girl, but it was a real name that I went to school with. I'm an idiot. I'm an actual idiot. So you just threw this other woman under the bus. We didn't even have sex. I'm confused by it all.

Imagine the news reporter being like, we can't name the murderer for legal reasons, but Madonna has been sentenced to 12 years in prison. If that's how the law works, yeah. Wouldn't that be funny? We can't name the killer. They just use a fake name. I didn't even have sex with this girl. I felt so bad for her.

Didn't even kiss. I'm an idiot. You used her full name. I can't be sure what I even did or said. I've only slept with three women, for God's sake. And who were they? No. Full name.

Let's not talk about my sexual history with women. It's triggering. I didn't enjoy it. They did that. Oh, God. So they said. Anyway. Anyway, yeah.

Are we done with this? Do we want to get an is it with you on? Let's get someone on. Let's dial it up. We're doing something different now. If you want to get in touch, if you've got an Is It Just Me of your own, like Mitch and I do every week, you can DM us at couple of Mitch's or on this number you can send us a text.

Oh, 422-948-202. Oh, 422-948-202. Send us a text. Yep, that's the number. And if you have sent us a text in the past or even a DM with an Is It Just You and we've not gotten you on, don't be disheartened because really, this is how it works. About five minutes before we start recording the episode on an

Is It Just Me Monday, Cherry fucking just luck of thedraw goes through the messages and goes, that one'll do. That's not true. No, but it's not like we've read them and gone, oh, that's shit. No, no. So it really is just like you take one pick every week. And so if we haven't gotten you on and you've messaged us in the past, fucking shoot us another one. Totally.

Ideally include your phone number in the DM as well. Yeah, we need your phone number. But also I'm the one organising his issues Just Yous and you know my track record. So, yeah. What do you mean your track record? Well, they just know how terrible I am at organising anything. So it's never personal if you're left on scene. Well, yeah, that's what I mean.

But also as someone on this end who has nothing to do with organising the Is It Just Yous, you don't appear unorganised. Oh, thanks. That's nice. I actually send out a bunch of messages. Then people are in different time zones and then they go, well, I'm at work. Can I do it? I'm like, no, we're the celebrities.

You work around our schedule. Okay, that's not what I'm saying. No, I've said that. Mitch and I both agree on that point. No, I've seen the messages. Yeah, you do say that. I've been really quite firm. I said, no, we're so busy doing TV.

It's a bit of a lucky dip, right? It's not like you read one and go, oh, fuck that. They've messaged. I'm not getting them on. No, never. If it gets ignored. No. Don't take it personally.'m not getting them on. No, never. If it gets ignored. No. Don't take it personally.

Just send another one through. Correct. Or if we've also spoken in the past and we've left you on scene, just go, hey, bumping this because we would love to get you on. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Today we're going to call Alicia. Isn't that cute?

I love that. I think Alicia's such a good name. If I had a baby girl, I'd go with Alicia at some point. When? Just kidding. Just kidding. Feedback this week. It's divided. No, it kidding. Just kidding. Feedback this week. It's divided.

No, it's not. No. No. There was one post in the group saying, have the when did I ask jokes had their time and you were the only person in the comments that agreed. Mickle, what's your name? Everyone's scared to agree.

They're all scared. No, they're not. You should see the hordes of messages I get. This is a safe space, a safe haven to voice our opinions. I'd actually love to. Show me one. It's only the time. We're going to Mordilok.

That's a dumb name. What? Am I saying that right? Mordilok? Alicia is in Mordilok. Oh, I thought you said her name's Mordilok, and I'm like, you just said it was in Alicia. No, it's a beautiful name that I'll name a kid one day, Mordilok.

Alicia Mordilok-Cheery. That's beautiful. Sounds like a creature that Godzilla would kill. Thank God Godzilla killed the Mordilok. Sounds like some Harry Potter shit. Yeah, it does. Mordilok! Anyway, Harry, you need to drink the Mordilok.

So what's Mordilok? That's where she lives, allegedly. Oh, right. It's in Melbourne. I don't know, let's give her a call. She'll be able to tell us. Alicia is joining us now for an Is It Just You? Dialing her through the phones.

Hello? Alicia? Hello, how are you? Good. Hi, sweetie. Where, for the love of God, do you live? I've never heard of it. It's in Bayside, so southeast, like Melbourne.

How do you pronounce it? Mordialic. Okay, I've heard of that. Mitch was saying Mordaluk. You have not. You're a liar. You've heard of more in the attic. What is it?

Oh, God. Mordialik. Actually, yeah, that rings more of a bell. Yeah, I was saying Mordaluk. Mordaluk. I was saying Mordaluk. Sorry. I don't know how you got that.

Still stupid. Where is it? Melbourne, is it? Yeah, Melbourne, southeast suburbs. Nice. Gorgeous. What are you up is it? Yeah, Melbourne, southeast suburb. Nice. Gorgeous. What are you up to today? I'm doing uni, so you guys have given me a good distraction, so thank you.

It's our pleasure. What do you study? Psychology. Oh. Yeah. We all need deep help. Yeah. Far out.

What kind? Like pediatric or non-pediatric? At the moment, it's just like an undergraduate degree, so it's pretty general, but I'm hoping to go into sport and exercise psych. Oh. I can tell that you're a psych student because, like, you have to pre-organise your distraction.

You're like, oh, you guys have given me a good distraction. Like, you can police your own distraction. If you're anything like I was in uni, I need no assistance finding distractions. I can find them in the dullest of rooms. I'm usually quite bad, but today I was like, you know what, I'm going to sit down, I'm going to get it done, and then I saw your

message and I'm like, nah. I've got a distraction. Hand it on a silver platter. Do you have an assignment or something? Yeah, what are you doing? I do at the end of the week. It's like a literature review, which is always fun. Yuck, yuck, yuck. That's so boring.

I couldn't even get through reviewing Edward Scissorhands in standard English in the internet, let alone a fucking actual literature review. It sounds awful. Oh, God, I know. I don't blame you. All right, Alicia. Bradley will count you in, then hit us with your idjim, okay? Thank you.

Is it just me or... Does chocolate taste a lot better in the morning than any other time of day? Oh, and I liked you. At first, I liked you. Absolutely not. Really? I think so, because sometimes if you've been eating all day and you have a bit

of chocolate, that can tip you over the edge and you feel a bit sick. But if it's Easter, for example, and you sneak a bit of choccy first thing in the morning on an empty stomach, especially if it's been in the fridge, oh, beautiful. I think it depends. Like, with Easter, it's different. Like, in the morning it's nice. No, I disagree because

in the morning, I don't want sweet until at least after 12. Like, I need savoury in the morning and then I want a chocolate for after I've had my dinner. Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Mitchell Cherry? What do you mean? I know, I'm an imposter. No, it's true. I want savoury in the morning and then I want a chocolate for after I've had my dinner. Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Mitchell Cherry? What do you mean? I know, I'm an imposter. No, it's true.

I want savoury in the morning, like eggs or toast or Vegemite and a coffee, like a bitter coffee. What about if you start really early? Even worse. The earlier it gets, my body will go into toxic shock if I have something sweet that early in the morning. I don't know. To me, it's like the taste of it. It just tastes so different. I don't know. For me, it's like the taste of it. It just tastes so different. I don't know what it is.

And it started from like, you know when you have an advent calendar for Christmas? Oh, yeah. I can relate to this feeling. And you always have it in the morning because you're really excited because it's countdown for Chrissy. For some reason it just, that's where it always started for me. It just always tasted

better in the morning. Oh, God. I would eat like the first four days in the first day. I was such a little chubber. the morning. I would eat the first four days in the first day. I was such a little chubber. I would eat all the chocolate. I don't think I ever had my advent calendar chocolate first thing in the morning because often it was the highlight of my

day. And I'm like, well, I can't have it first thing because then it's all fucking downhill from here, isn't it? I'd save it. Why don't we do advent calendars for other events alicia like we could do it easter one and just have three doors for like the three days jesus was missing or dead advent that's kind of boring can't do three well imagine a birthday advent calendar you know like say for example your birthday you just you you start a month before your birthday. They're just a month ambiguous. Wouldn't it just be a food calendar?

Because Advent is Christmas. True. Oh, I'd love a cheese Advent calendar. That'd be fun. I actually could use an Advent calendar as a countdown to my birthday because my birthday is July 25th. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, you could.

And so it's the 25th. Wait, is Christmas the 25th? Yeah. I just had a mind fuck going, wait, is that right? Yes, it is. So I could just get any old fucking Advent calendar and use it for my birthday. Well, is Christmas the 25th? Yeah. I just had a mind fuck going, wait, is that right? Yes, it is. So I could just get any old fucking advent calendar and use it for my birthday. Well, you know what I did? Yeah, why not?

I had to toot my own horn. But for, am I saying his name? Have I revealed his name? Who? The mystery man? Mystery man, no. Oh, exclusive. I'd love to know.

If you were a good detective, Darlene, you would have figured it out already. Yeah, the idiots went full Inspector Gadget. And I use Inspector Gadget because it was the worst detective work I've ever seen in my life. Anyway, for him, when I went- You're the worst at covering your tracks. No, no. There's a fucking photo of him on your Instagram. There is.

Yeah, but that was like a little clue, you know? An Easter egg. Yeah, it was an Easter egg. An Easter egg. What I did when I went to Europe, right? I went to Europe- You just flat out revealed it. Listen to what I did. It was romantic. Sorry, carry on to what i did i just want to show you how

romantic i am i went away for 25 days right um which was just a coincidence and you know he was like oh sad i'm not gonna have you over christmas and then i'm like oh okay so um he's like i'm gonna be alone i'm like oh you poor thing so what i did was i went to kmart and you can buy empty advent calendars it was actually like a wooden box. It was a big wooden house and every day was a little door that you'd open. And I got 25 gifts that reminded me of him and then put them in every day. So then every day I was away, up until the day I got back, he had a little gift to open that reminded him of me. What did you have in there to remind him of you?

A lock of hair or something? No, don't be silly. Well, I bought a five-pack jockstrap pack from Calvin Klein. So he had five jockstraps every third day. Wow. That's a bit of fun. What else was in there? Oh, gorgeous things.

Like things that he loves. Like he loves lip glosses. I bought him lip gloss. He loves to bedazzle things. So I got him like a sun visor for him to wear. Like a light for him to wear on his forehead. So when he bedazzles, it's easy to see. Oh, I see.

Just little things that he likes. Like a minor. Yeah, exactly right. Tricky for a blood diamond. Not because he's so young. I meant a minor minor, the ones that go down in the mud. You did not. I know what you did there.

Oh, I did. I said he's a minor. You gave me good ideas. That was an accident, but I'm still pretty happy with it. That was one of your better jokes, and I hope it was Freudian. Anyway, I am just very romantic, and I wanted to say that. All right, Alicia. Let me give you good ideas for my boyfriend.

Yeah, I'm the same, actually. Yeah, that's cute. I'm big into grand gestures. I love it. I love a big moment. It's so cute. Mitchell Coombs knows my boyfriend. Do I?

Yeah. This is so niche, but I hope you remember. He's not a trainee that fixes sinks, is he? No, no. I was sitting front row at Mitchell's Melbourne show last May, and my boyfriend is called James, and he was sitting at the front with me, and you interacted with him a lot during the show, and I was so nervous.

I barely spoke, and he just did all the talking for me. I loved it. And God, didn't I give him a hard time? What did he do? What happened? Tell me. Oh, my God. There was a fucking straight man right in the front row and I was more or less saying,

you don't want to be here, do you, doll, at all? Who's this bitch that dragged you along? And he was a good sport. I think I gave him a click, didn't I? Oh, my. Yeah, and he gave it to me. It was meant to go with one of my best friends, who, shout out to Charlotte, she loved Trash Ellie

and also Is It Just Me. We were meant to go together, but she was unwell, tried to take James instead. I could tell that he was dragged there. It wasn't his idea. Anyway. He loved it. Is he a convert?

A convert? What do you mean? Like, is he converted to listening to the pod? Is he a fan of Mitchell now? Did he enjoy it? Oh, he loved it. Is he a convert? A convert? What do you mean? Like, is he converted to listening to the pod? Is he a fan of Mitchell now? Did he enjoy it? Oh, he loved it. I always have it on in the car. Like, I sometimes listen to it when I go to sleep, which is really weird.

But, like, you might hear it. But, yeah. Did you like Trash Alley? I did. Yeah. I did. I did originate from there. Oh, stop.

I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I love you. Alicia did originate from there. Oh, stop. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I love you. Alicia, thank you for getting in touch, okay? DM Prizekeeper Jenna will get you a prize, okay? I will. Thank you so much, guys.

Thanks, darling. Bye. Love ya. Aw, she was sweet. I liked her. I liked her. Yeah. All right.

Well, we should probably go on that note, shouldn't we? Yeah, we probably should. Let's go, guys. We hope it's... Oh, no, never mind. We don't hope a thing. What are you talking about? You've never said anything like that before.

That's shocking. And I never would, would I? Why would you be dumb to do that? That's stupid. We'll be back in a couple of days for the Wednesday episode. Mitch's connection to Kate Middleton and his celebrity legal crisis will be explained. That's such a better way of putting it. It's true, though.

I'm like, oh, I've had a Photoshop fuck up and you're like an international celebrity scandal. That's my inner kiss FM. Clearly. Affirmation. Last night I said on air, I was like, we finally have word. Is Kate Middleton deceased? That next. And then you came back from the break and said, we don't know. We got no idea. She Photoshopped her neck out. I don't know what I'm talking about.

Sometimes I'm like, the media have a lot to answer for. Then I realise I'm the media. Yeah. Isn't that actually really worrying? I do that too. I'm like, blame the media. And I'm like, the media have a lot to answer for, then I realise, I'm the media? Yeah. Isn't that actually really worrying? I do that too. I'm like, blame the media. And I'm like, I write the stuff. I'm the media? That's devastating.

Can I tell you, half the reason that I'm so fucking swept up in this Kate Middleton saga is because at like 3.45 the other day, I jumped in the car because I had to go to the post office because I was getting new passport photos, which, by the way, they are so atrocious. They're atrocious? The passport photos, I got the new ones. I doubt it.

No, I'll show you off the cloud, but they look awful. Anyway, point being, I had Kiss on and you were talking about it on the pickup. I was. And that's what got me swept up because I hadn't really heard much about the Kate Middleton thing. I got you hooked. And now I'm fucking deep. I'm the media.

It was you talking about the Photoshop file. I was, and I was being very into it. I'm really involved in it. Yeah, and now I'm there with you. I was playing the dramatic music and everything. Yeah, the X-Files music. That's all I have. That's my dramatic music.

Give me a mood. Ready? What story are we talking about? I'm joyous and I'm skipping through a meadow. Sorry, that's mystery. Sorry. That's pink pants. You give me one, Jenna. I'm crying in a closet. Oh, fuck.

I really am out of practice. Alright, we should go. We'll catch you back on Wednesday. We should go. See you in a couple of days. Love you. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief, our secret segment on the end. Yeah. Do you want to see the passport photo?

Yeah, I really do. Yeah, when you said that, I'm like, save it for ADD Brief, because sometimes when we get to the end, we get so excited with a flood of info, I'm like, save it, then we'll have nothing to talk about. So I actually went to the post office for a different reason, and then I remembered that. What was the different reason? That sounded sus. Well, I just had to pick up a parcel. and when I was there I saw the bloody photo booth

for passport photos and I was like oh fuck I may as well get that done while I'm here not for Bali yeah because I have to renew my parcel before I go overseas yeah and I thought god I'm a bit fucking tired today but surely with a camera flash you won't be able to tell how tired I am said no one ever Mitchell oh I bet it's not even that bad. Yeah, you're so dramatic. Oh, no. Show us. I'm being quite fair to how bad it is.

Show us the photo. Look at the bags under my eyes. Oh, no. Wait, can I see? Is it bad? Mitchell, it's really bad. It's really bad. What happened?

What have they done to you? I don't think they did a thing. This is what I looked like that day. No, that is photoshopped. That's not our boy. That's not you. That's not you. I don't know who.

Get rid of it. It's so deep. I've been punching the face. Who is that person? I don't want to stop it. Get rid of it. It really makes me sick. That's not you.

They're purple. This really makes me sick. That's not you. They're purple. This fucking passport photo booth, he literally had a box against the wall and he sort of unpacked it and it had two walls by my side and a roof above me with a light in it and then he took it on the iPad.

But he says, can you take a step forward? And I'm like, shouldn't I be in the box of light? And so I was backlit and so there was no light on my face and the iPad had no flash and so it turned out like this with these horrendous eye bags. That's the fucking River Nile, those bags. They're so big. I'm sorry.

The rainbow serpent's been fucking digging across my face. They look like ABS airbags have deployed. Seriously. The passport people would say, that's not you. You're going to get to bar in Seminyak. Sir, you need to check those two bags. They're going to go, you're over the baggage limit. They're under your eyes. Do you know what?

If they said to me, I'm so sorry, this overseas trip that you are really looking forward to, we're not letting you on the flight because we don't believe that's you. I would still be like, oh, thank God. You don't think that's what I look like? Thank you.

It's still a compliment. That's really funny. So can you just vouch? I will post this in the group, Enduring Idiots. Can you vouch that I'm not exaggerating? No, you're not. That's an awful photo. It's not how you look.

I don't want you to think that's what we think of you, but it's not a flattering photo. That is not you. Mitchell, that's terrible. I also look cross-eyed. What's going on? But to be honest, Mitchell, how much did this cost you? $10?

$18. You can just get it reshot. You don't have to use those. I'm such a tight eye. I don't think I'm getting that reshot. Kate Middleton has photoshopped that. Yeah, we need to get that to Katie. I know.

I can't even face-tune them because they print them for me. And then I mail it to the passport office. Oh, is that how it works? Yeah. Not that I would face Facetune anything because, as you'll discover on Wednesday's episode, I can't be trusted with Photoshop. I used to Facetune, to be honest.

I still have Facetune. That's just my admission. Well, I'm glad you got that off your tits. I'm turning the aircon off. Is anyone cold? It's really cold. No, I actually turned it down because it's the first time in five fucking years, nearly,

that it's not been freezing cold in here. I was mentally prepared to be frozen and I walked in here. It was quite warm. Hello? Yes, so sorry. Have you forgotten your podcasting? Where am I? Sorry.

See, this is what I meant about the brain fart thing. They do happen occasionally. Of course. I mean, I've got a brain illness, for God's sake. I know. You're lucky I can talk. Yeah. Yeah. We're so course. I mean, I've got a brain illness, for God's sake. You're lucky I can talk. Yeah. We're so lucky.

I'm blessed. I fucking praise Jesus every day for the blessing that is your speech. Every single day. Totally. Fucking hell, guys. Just talk too much. Even I'm over it. We're also the media.

I'm like, I'm the media. Jenny, you're the media. Mitch, you're the media too. Yeah. We all have a lot to answer for. I guess. Do I? Yeah, the fact that we haven't. What are you're the media. Mitch, you're the media too. Yeah. We all have a lot to answer for. I guess. Do I?

Yeah, the fact that we haven't. What are we pointing the finger at? We just need to band together. We could use, the time we spend weekly together recording this show, we could actually, what if we pivoted, right? And we just wanted to solve, I don't know, a missing person's case. My brain always goes to the poor girl. I can't.

Which one? No. I'm going to, you know what? I'm going to Google another one. And can't. Which one? No. I'm going to Google another one. I'm going to bring attention to another case. Why? Well, because. What's the case you're referring to? The most famous.

Which one? Missing Child. All I want to do is bring attention to it. As of today, the show is not Is It Just Me? The show is called Is It Just Me? Or Do We Need to Solve the case of JonBenet Ramsey? And until she's found. She has been found. She was found when she was dead.

Oh, did they find her? Yeah, they found her body. Oh, you're right. She's not missing. All right, well. Apart from the name that shan't be spoken, arguably, the second most famous missing person currently is Kate Middleton. You're so true.

It's true. Find her, everyone. There you go. We've used our cause. We've used our plan. You're so true. It's true. Finder, everyone. There you go. We've used our cause. We've used our plan. All right. We're rebranded back to Is It Just Me, the hit original podcast. Everyone go look for Kate.

Totally. Now. Anyway, I felt like a bit of a shit friend the other day because there was one point in ADD Brief last week, can't remember which episode, that you said, I'm going on a weekend away, everyone. Oh, yeah. I remember that. And then I said- Twice. Was it'm going on a weekend away, everyone. Oh, yeah, I remember that. And then I said.

Twice. Was it twice? Yes, I said it twice. Oh, fuck. I said, oh, me too. And then we started talking about my weekend away and then we got sidetracked talking about bloody Apple Watches or something.

Yeah, something else. And we never circled back to what you were doing. That night I thought, wait, did we find out what Mitch was doing? I was in the car on the way home and I went, oh, no. No, you were sitting there. So don't think that we're not aware. No, I posted it on socials. Jen is like, oh, are you going away? Yeah, I went on a weekend away, but it's done now.

Tell me about it. What happened? Nothing. We just went on a weekend away. What for? Just for a family weekend away. It was lovely. I got offered an Airbnb for free, full transparency.

So I took it. But you said you didn't pay for it. I didn't pay for it. You said you did pay for it. No, I said I'm not getting paid for this. I didn't make any money. I bet you got. Got it for free.

I said it on socials because I didn't. There was a friend I went to school with that I had great fucking sex with. Her name is Belinda Smith. It actually was a girl that I went to school with. She was like, hi, Mitch. We've created a new bed and breakfast called Olive Retreat in Milton, New South Wales. And I went, okay.

And I looked at the photos. Gorgeous. Sleeps eight or 12 if you want Olive Barn as well. And I invited all my family. And the new mystery man, whose name will be revealed, will start a timer in three days. Is that actually happening? No.

And it was great. It was a fun weekend away I really enjoyed it My dog My dog Penny Almost got eaten by a hawk Who's Penny? I thought it was Hamish

Hamish is my elderly caboodle But we have a new dog Called Penny Oh Hamish must be Spewing about that Well it's my It's not my parents dog It's my auntie's dog

Oh right Yeah But it was swooped by a hawk You'd know all about hawks Living in the Oh my god First the guinea pig Yes the second time I know Yeah your track record With hawks living in this. First the guinea pig. Yes, the second time.

I know. Yeah, your track record with hawks. I've got audio. I've got audio. Also, the hawks were squawking their fucking heads off in the background when you were last working from home. Have they got a vendetta against you? I don't know.

What did you do to offend the hawk? I pissed off the birds. Have a look at this. We were walking back from small town Milton and it was a property, right? And all the dogs were in the backyard. And I'm like, oh, there's our house. It's gorgeous. Oh, what's that in the sky? Is that a lorikeet? No, it's got talons and a hook beak and blood on its beak. Penny! It was swirling around the backyard. No, it's going for Penny! No, I'm not joking. Listen to Penny bark. It is. The bark is so... Mum, grab Penny.

Grab the dogs. Penny. Penny. Penny. What the heck, Penny? Fast forward. That is so dramatic. Penny.

Penny, we saved. Penny. We saved Penny. But it was a genuine hawk circling Penny, and then we told the townspeople, he's like, yeah, that's how I lost my Kelpie Jasmine in 2006. A Kelpie? I'm like, Kelpie's a big dog.

They also pack a punch. Like, they'll fight back. What about a Kelpie? Yeah, it'll eat that fucking hawk alive. This was such a big bird. Had such a big wingspan. Anyway, Oliver State's great for family. Also, did you have to go to

Bondi Beach or something? I kept getting ads for you and smallsy shaving heads. Yeah, so I was at the Bondi Pavilion shaving heads for a genuinely brilliant cause for the Leukemia Foundation, world's greatest shave. They wanted to show that

rivalries can be put aside to build a bridge because nothing is more important than curing leukaemia, which I agree with. So me and Smallsy, who's my nighttime radio rival in the ratings, he beats me. Nemesis, you could say. Nemesis, I beat him, he beats me.

We beat each other. We top each other all the time. Whoa. And they got us together and we were both shaving heads at Bondi Beach. So you were there? Yeah, shaving. Yes, Jenna's right. So I drove down to Milton three hours Friday,

drove back up Saturday morning three hours, drove back three hours Saturday afternoon, drove back three hours Sunday afternoon. But a 15-minute detour to pick up your close friend Mitchell Coombs is too much to commit to, is it? You're a bitch, Jenna. Is it because were you being paid for this world's greatest shave shit? I was working.

Yeah, but it was, of course, for charity. It's a good course. What if I pay you every week, but I also expect an Instagram story tagging me? Hashtag ad. Who would I do pay? Can I do paid partnership with Mitchell Coombs, or do you have to be registered as a brand?

Yeah, I can. That's pretty funny. I just want to you. Who would I do pay? Can I do paid partnership with Mitchell Coombs or do you have to be registered as a brand? Yeah, you can. Yeah. That's pretty funny. I just want to you. Is that what it's going to take to get a lift? I'm happy to give you a lift. I'm just saying if there's an instance where I go, hey, it can't happen today, I just don't want to get in trouble. Yeah, okay.

That's fine. But also, hypothetically, what would the instance be? I don't know. I just like to future-proof myself. Right, instance be? I don't know. I just like to future-proof myself. Right, right. I truly don't know. Say, for example, natural disaster. That's all I can think of.

If the day comes that I'm expecting you to pick me up and then you say to me, sort of last minute, I can't come, you won't get in trouble, from me at least, but you'll be in trouble because I just won't be able to come in, will I? I won't be doing the podcast. That's the point. That's what I mean. You can't hold it against me. Because there is parking.

So basically I'm being told, don't rely on me. No, I'm not. I could just say, why don't you want to drive? I can't drive. There's no parking. There is parking. I'm there every day. I've been warned by everyone that there's no parking there.

And you are not there every day. You've got a parking spot. Of course there's parking for you. Yeah'm there every day. I've been warned by everyone that there's no parking there. And you are not there every day. You've got a parking spot. Of course there's parking for you. Yeah, well, sorry. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today. That's all. So we do. For example, if I said I'm going on a tropical holiday, I have that ready.

For example, what do you mean? Example of what? Well, I'm just going back to me being really good with the sound effects. Okay. Or if you said, how do I get to Example of what? Well, I'm just going back to me being really good with the sound effects. Okay. Or if you said, how do I get to the Kiss Studios in the new building? I'd go, well, you take the elevator, dummy. Hey, the new building is the Coca-Cola building. Yes.

Get this. One of the levels, I can't remember which, is the Coca-Cola floor. Yeah. Didn't you say it was the top one? Oh, yeah. I think. I don't know. I think. I'm assuming it is. It's one of the levels, I can't remember which, is the Coca-Cola floor. Yeah. Didn't you say it was the top one? Oh, yeah. I think. I don't know. I think.

I'm assuming it is. It's one of the levels. If I had my building, I'd put myself on the top floor. It's free Coke. You know those Coke fountains in the US that have the LCD screen on them? Yeah. And you can tap and it just dispenses any drink that Coke has ever made? No.

Do they have it? Yeah. Yeah. And it's free to all staff between the work hours of 9 and 3. So even us? You, Jenna Benson. Oh, my God. There's also a Coke cafeteria.

No way. Why are you telling us this now? I think it's exciting. But it doesn't apply to anyone. Are you being honest? Yes, Jenna. I don't fib. All right, should we go?

No, no, I'm showing you what it is. People, because people... I don't care. We don't need to do this on the podcast. A lot of people listen to this and go, God, I aspire for that, you know? No, you're just gloating. What, that I've got a Coke fountain? All right.

I was going to show you what the Coke fountain looked like. I'll see it when I get there. So I can have it too. Not after Mitchell's outburst. I'm going to speak to Beverly Coke and Paula O'Collar. That's how they got married and they formed Coca-Cola. She's very modern. She kept her maiden name.

She did. She's very progressive. She's a proud Coke. Yeah, she is. And always has been. Always will be. Her fans are Coke heads. And I said, Beverly, you probably want to change that.

She's like, no, O'Collar won't let me. She's getting real old now. Everyone's like, where's Coke's cane? She can't walk properly. But their daughter, they named her Samantha, so she's just Samantha Ocola. Oh, sorry, no. I should have said this. I should have said this.

Fuck, damn it. I'm editing my joke. It's a family heirloom. I bequeath unto you the Coke cane. Yeah, see, that's good. To help you hobble around. Yeah, yeah, yeah, nice. Yeah.

All right, we've really milked that for all it's worth. Yeah. So we do. Thank you. We do. See you in a couple of days, guys. Catch you soon, idiots. Bye-bye.

Goodbye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.