Is It Just Me? - #196: Top 5 Bike Bells

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

With Roving Reporter Oscar as our acting 3rd wheel 🚲 In this episode: Your old shit hookups (06:21)  Are sommeliers full of shit? (11:26)  Do we need to humble big car drivers? (19:17)  TOP 5 BIKE BELLS! (23:44)  Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (42:29)   Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you! Hello you! Go! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Is it just me? Is familiar and farce kind of fun?

Just you, you filthy unhinged bitch. Honestly. What's wrong with you? Now here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, you. Hello, you. Oh, I'm back. Equilibrium.

You're right. Equilibrium. It's not even a hard word. No, it's not. Equilibrium has returned. Last episode, you said, hello, you, and did you see me? Your mouth was taking a breath, and I went, he's about to start the show. I need to start the show.

Is this a new thing where it's a competition of who can jump in first? Mitchell, we've never been competing with each other. That's why this podcast works. Well, equilibrium hasn't properly been restored because wouldn't you bloody believe our third wheel, Jenna, has wagged again. Double. Twice in one week. Fucking hell.

She's going to get an official warning. Totally. This one might have to be written. I don't even know where she is. She's just not answering our calls. Well, thank fuck that we are a fully functioning vehicle because we don't just have to be written. I don't even know where she is. She's just not answering our calls. Well, thank fuck that we are a fully functioning vehicle because we don't just have a third wheel. We have a fourth wheel who is here, our raving reporter, Oscar.

Hello, Chookers. Feeling the void of Jenna today. Hello. How does it feel? It feels good. I feel like I've been slightly just temporarily promoted. Yeah, just for a bit. Just for now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we're not a car. We're more of like one of those mopeds that Mr Bean would drive. Oh, do they have four wheels? No, they've got three. They've got two at the front, which is you and I. Then one at the back. It's like a trike sort of thing.

Oh, okay. So you're that. You're like the point wheel at the back. Yeah, yeah. The pinnacle. Without me, it falls. Yeah, we'd roll. Yeah.

We'd roll. We'd balance. Yeah, we would, yeah. And of course, I mean, Monday we were fine. It was just the two of us. Yeah, exactly. We were like an electric scooter. Great to have you, Oscar.

Thank you. It's good to be here. I've missed you both. People love you. You were on the show. When were you last on the show? When we were interrogating your mystery man. That's right.

Oh, yeah. For Mardi Gras. Yes, your mystery man. I was running around yelling at any twink I found. Any and all. Okay, thank you for being very funny. Well, that was my last, you know, pre-recorded, but actually being here would have been the Christmas episode, actually.

Yeah, we made the Christmas sludge cocktails. Oh, no, it was the secret Santa. Oh, yeah, the unicorn was shattered. The unicorn shattered. I love how, like, I've got a reference point for every time. Oh, the Christmas cocktails, they were foul. Oh, when we smashed the unicorn. Yeah, awful. Yeah, when we smashed the gorgeous unicorn. Ten bucks on.

So you're going to have to do something really fucking memorable today so that we remember, oh, that time that insert iconic thing here. You've got to do something. Chaos. I'll work on it. Whoa, chaos and wild. Have you seen me on a Saturday? I think my favourite story,

I don't even think we've spoken about this on the show, is that when you're over at Mitch's, you'll sleep on that blowout mattress. You're not afraid to bring men home and just use that blowout mattress. Oh, can you believe this? Yeah. When we got back from Newcastle, because he came with me for my comedy show. Yes, all that. It looked fun.

We got back at like five in the afternoon and I'd booked a 5.45 yoga class. And I said, yeah, I'm going to go to that class because it'll just be good to unwind after a big weekend. Decompress. Is it fine? Are you going to be fine on your own for an hour if I ditch you to go to this class? Evidently he wasn't fine on his own for an hour because while I was gone, he went and fucked one of my neighbours.

Oscar. Yeah, I did. We all do what we need to do to unwind, don't we? I agree. No, it is nice. No, I did. And I'd do it again. And did you know the neighbour?

Did you meet on an app? Maybe. But also, he didn't mark a bow because at like 20 past six, I was only halfway through the yoga class, there was a message on my phone saying, right, I've just finished my route. When are you back? Because I had the keys.

You're efficient. You're an efficient boy. Well, I knew I had a limited amount of time. So you had from 5.45 to 6.20. When did you arrive at his place? Well, I dawdled a bit because the cat nearly threw up. Yeah, of course. And there was no way I was going to.

Isabella or his cat? No, Isabella. My cat, yeah. Wait, you invited this man to Mitch's house? No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, I was going to say. But, like, I was about to leave and I just heard, and I just went, I'm the only one here, so unless I'm fucking hearing things.

Totally. And then I look over and there she is arched back just yakking and I went, ah. But what about the cat? No, the cat was just watching, actually. Yeah, no doubt. So what time did you get to his place? I'm trying to figure out how quick you were in the bedroom. I'd say six.

So six till 6.20. Wow. Wham, bam, thank you, sir. That is so efficient. I don't think by the time all the blood's gone to my bits, it's been 20 minutes. I mean, like, look, I've had enough time. You know what you're doing?

I'm not built for that life. I like to forge an emotional connection. If I don't know their mother's name, their auntie's name, what TV shows they watch. What their childhood pet was. 100%. Yeah, exactly. What their life's an aspirational.

Exactly. What car, make, model year it is they drive. Oh, yeah. I can't get it going. Well, see, I'm there now, but then on occasion, you know, sometimes the old ho Oscar comes out and it's just like, you know, I've been chatting to him for a while, so why not? But, no, nowadays I'm very much like I can't,

like I need to know at least their first name now. I think I might meet you. We're very similar. Our ho phases were very much like. I barely had a ho phase. So did I. You really did not. That's actually what my idiom's about.

Oh, wow. Great timing. So perhaps we should just jump right in. Let's jump right in. I mean, we both have been through that enough. If it's your first time listening, every time we do this show, is it just me? I can't do it.

I can't say it. We start every episode the same. Is it just me? Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's. Today, Oscar, our third wheel, will be giving an IJM of their own. Yes, it's my own IJM audition.

Have you got a good one up your sleeve? I hope so. I can bet her. It's an IJM. Can you give us a little teaser of what yours is going to be, Cherry, because I've already told you what mine's going to be about. I'll kick it off. Mine's something that I've noticed, and it was when I was in Orange,

and I spoke about it on Monday's episode, regional, but I just feel like we've got an imposter in our midst. There's an industry that I think needs reform. There is an industry that needs investigating and there is a certain job that people claim to have that I think is fake and riddled with lies. Oh, I'm excited. Yes, it's a bit of an accusation, but that's coming up.

Sure, all right. Well, should I kick things off? Why don't you? Yeah, you better. All right, let's go. Is it just me or? Does part of you kind of wish you could do a round two with old hookups? No.

Absolutely not. No way. Really? No, no, no, no. Now, what I mean when I say that is obviously I wouldn't actually go and root someone from a one-night stand a long time ago because I've got a partner now. Shut up, Oscar.

You so would. But there is part of me that would just like to message them all and say, I'm really good at it now. Yeah. Don't take that one-night stand as a testament to my abilities in the bedroom. I've gotten way better. But, Mitchell, we're not old people.

We grow and we learn. When you're younger you're not as good at it. It makes sense. You've got to have it to know it. Speak for yourself. I am. I'm just talking about like, you know, the really early 21s that are just you'd rather not dwell on it because you're like oh that wasn't good or maybe I was

really drunk and it was messy and I'm like that person is now going out in the world being like, yeah, I rooted Mitchell Coombs once. It wasn't good. So are you saying you were a dud root? I definitely was more dud than I am now. Yeah, of course.

At one point, which everyone was. That's kind of normal. Now you do Pilates, of course, you can get up there. Oh, I'm so flexible now, Tal. You've got no idea. No doubt. Like a rubber band over here. I don't think I'd want to.

You don't actually, you need to reword it. You don't want to just sleep with them. You just want to tell them you're better now. You just want a conversation. I just want to hit them all up and say, forget that happened. Especially the people that were there during the whole fucking antidepressant-induced erectile dysfunction era. Oh, that was for me.

Just penis didn't work. That was a time. For a good time, yeah, for a long period of time. Well, that's why we never worked out, really. No, of course. Of course. Well, why don't you post this to Instagram and that way they'll see it. Cut this out, but just put the conversation about how good you are.

Yeah. Or I just DM them all. There's not that many. My number's only seven. Really? Yeah. Wow. As in like proper, you know.

Yeah. Pen-o. Yeah. Oh, God, what a mental image. I'm sorry. I didn't know how else to say it. No, no. It was a good mental image.

No, it was fine. I'm enjoying myself over here personally. I don't think it's worth it. I would never do that. Because you're so happy where you are now. No, I'm not actually suggesting I do it. The question was, is there part of you that wishes you could? I just want them to know.

Well, for me personally, there's probably a few people that if I had the chance, I'd be like, let's have a coffee. I just want to explain to you. I'm not as tragic as I was when you took me home that one night. No, no. See, I'm so delusional. I just think everyone never has sex as good as they did with me. So they just, they will forever regret it.

I like that actually. Thank you. I really like that. I want that mindset. I'm happy. Like you, Oscar, at the start, having sex in 20 minutes with someone, I don't know. I'm not built for that.

I'm built for romance and, you know, I don't like a hooker. No, but I love that. I love a good bit of romance. So, like, I'm on board for that. But, like, most of them I've personally blocked out of my memory. Totally. So I'm kind of just like – Yeah, if you were trying to track down all your formal hookups,

you'd be fucked because you don't know their names. That's true, actually. I wouldn't know half their names. You'd have to contact, where are you now? Like, this is your life. Find my iPhone, find my root. That's how it was supposed to be for me. Mitchell, my idea is that I think you should give me their names

because they're in our circles. I'll know. No, I don't think you know any of them, to be fair. I'd bump into them, probably. Okay, I'd be able to. There's not one person from my history that I think you've ever crossed paths with. Oh, okay then. Well, I was going to-

I could be wrong. Because fuck, if there's one thing I've learned, the gay community is one small world. Oh my God. Well, that's my point. I could covertly drop it in. That's true. But how are you going to attest to the fact that, hey, Mitchell Cranes is really good at it now?

I'll just say I was talking to Sean. Pretend Oscar, you are just one of Mitch's seven. One of seven. We're at Palms. Hey, how are you? What are you drinking? Crap. Oh, really? Yeah. You know who isn't crap in bed? My friend Mitchell

Coombs. Oh, I remember him. Yeah. Oh, do you know him? Yeah, Dubroot. No, not anymore. No. He goes to Pilates. Does he? His friend, his partner, Sean, was telling me. Oh, I remember him. Yeah. Oh, do you know him? Yeah, Dubroot. No, not anymore. No. He goes to Pilates. Does he? His friend, his partner, Sean, was telling me. Oh, he's got a partner.

Can't walk for days, yeah. Oh. After the session. Oh, well, I'll just have to, I'll let him know that I think. No, don't message him. Oh, okay. No, I won't. He just wanted you to know. Oh, okay.

Great. Am I doing this all right? I'm really glad I know now. Yes, you don't need to throw the Pilates thing in there. I don't think. It was important context. I thought it was important. I was on board.

I was in character. Anyway, any past fucks that are listening, I swear that's not the best of my abilities. We'll post the videos to the Ujum socials. You can be the judge before and after. Side note, you know how I just said that my number is seven? Yeah. Am I allowed to ask where you're at?

I've overtaken you now. Okay, there you go. My number. I've overtaken you now. Okay, there you go. My number. I've overtaken you, yeah. What are you, 8? Oh, yeah. 7.5. It still counts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the gobby bit in the Macca's car park, that counts. Half, half, yeah. Oh, if we're counting gobbies, fuck. I'll be 14,000. Anyway, do you want to hear this with you or is it just me, Cherry? Let's stop talking about my sex life, please. Jump right in.

Is it just me or? Do sommeliers need to drop the shit? Who? Drop the act. Cut the bullshit. The people that sniff wine. The wine connoisseurs. Is that how you say it?

Sommelier? Sommelier, yeah. I thought it was like smellier. No, no, but that's a better name. That makes more sense. It does because it's got smell in the title. I've got a theory that sommeliers who are wine professionals, and Oscar, now you're our third wheel, you have to Google when asked.

So could you please get a definition? Did you bring a laptop? No. No, I can see you. Jenna never does either. A pair of glasses and a yellow purse. Yes. So just get the definition of a sommelier, please. Okay. of glasses and a yellow purse. Yes. That's all I own.

Just get the definition of a sommelier, please. But they need to be investigated. They're out there with psychics, as in they just say shit and we are forced to believe them and there's no way we can ever prove them wrong. Oh. Oh, well, you've got the definition. Sommelier, a wine waiter. Oh, yeah.

I feel like there's more to it than that. There's got to be more to it. I'm going to keep. A Somalia or wine steward is a trained and knowledgeable wine professional, normally working in fine restaurants, who specializes in all aspects of wine service as well as wine and food. And they sort of, yeah, they're like, oh, this one's got fucking tones of oak and whatever.

Like they're just a bit nerdy about wine. That's my point. So Stephen and I went to a winery in Orange and it was lovely and we sat there and they walk up with a white wine. Was it Turner's Vineyard? No, it wasn't Turner's Vineyard. No, it was, I don't want to say because obviously I'm just kidding. True.

No, the wine was delicious, but it was just wine. She's like, have a smell of this and then have a smell of this. It's not a Pinot like you know, isn't it? And in my head I went, yeah, she's right. But what the fuck does that even mean? Why did I believe her? I believed her. I was like drinking the Kool-Aid.

Well, in a way, I mean, she's kind of doing her job right then because like- I'm convinced. As a customer service professional myself, I mean, I'm not a Somali. I'm more just a fuckwit. Yeah. But like- Yeah.

That's the whole- I have a feeling that's just part of her job is to convince you that that Pinot Grigio you tasted is not the one you would get at Audi. We need an audit because she went, have a smell and have a drink. You're getting the notes of marshmallow. Marshmallow? It's a Pinot Grigio. Shouldn't you taste chocolate in this Merlot? No, I can't taste chocolate because it's grapes. There is no way you can't get chocolate from grapes. Like it just feasibly does not make sense. It's not possible. And so way you can get chocolate from grapes. Like it just feasibly does not make sense.

It's not possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so you started to get a bit cynical, did you? You're like, no, no, I'll stop you right there, bitch. Marshmallows. She gave me the spit bucket to spit it in. I'm like, I'm not driving. I can drink all this shit.

By the end, she'd be like, you can taste that. I'm like, no, I can't taste nutmeg, Sally. I can taste sulphur and berry because that's all that's in this glass. Sally, there's no kale in this wine. I'm just tasting mixed grapes. Oh, my God. She goes, obviously you can smell it. It's been brewed in an oak barrel.

I went, obviously? No. Stop assuming things. But I don't think you can loop them in with psychics because you compared smelly hairs or whatever the fuck, smelly bellies, what are they called? Smelly hair, smelly cat. Smelly bell. You compared them to psychics.

Like psychics can Like, psychics can be really specific and pull out certain details that make you go, whoa, how did they know that? That's oddly specific and it's impressive, but a smellier can't do that. I more mean how are you meant to question them on it? That's what I mean. If a psychic said to you, like, your grandma's

in the room, you kind of go, well, I guess I have no other choice but to believe them. Well, no, she's alive and well, actually. I know where she is. I think you'll find Barker's at home doing laundry. Yeah, she's doing Kino at the local pub. She's at Bingo. Yeah. No, but if they were to say to you, you know, this has got notes of bergamot and beef bourguignon

and you're holding a mule low, you cannot say no because it's so subjective. Anyway, if any Somaliers are listening, let us know what you actually do. Sorry we offended you. Apologies. Sorry we've just destroyed your entire career. The more you talk about it, the more it sounds like a dream job, actually. A lot of bullshit. Obviously, there would have been a bit of drinking of the wine in the process of becoming

a smelly belly. Yes, yes, yes. And then you just get to be correct all the time. That's a good point, actually. No one can tell you you're wrong. That's my dream job, drinking wine and always being right. I'll pretend I'm a snail trail and I'll have a sip of this water and then I'll describe it, right?

Yeah. Oh. Oh, instantly vanilla. Oh. Instantly I'm getting notes of vanilla. And also what I'm getting is the sulphur and it's mixing so well with the peppermint. Can't argue with that.

Just a dumb profession. You'd be good at it if it's just absolutely bullshitting. I think you'd be so good at it. You think? I reckon. Oh, God, maybe that's why I'm mad because I'm jealous I don't have that job. Yeah, but actually I have a feeling it's because, yeah,

you are so upset that it's not your job. Because I know I'd be really good at it. You probably would. Oh, my God, the Life on a Vineyard's great. There were Kelpies running around, dogs, all these people paying $20 for fucking one tasting. It's a cash cow. It's a make or break.

Can you drink on the job? Yeah, totally. Probably not. Oh, my God, what other jobs can you drink on? I don't know if you can drink on the job as the smelly air. Smelly air? Yeah. Don't you mean Prince George?

He stinks. He needs to shower. He needs to shower. Snappy. Is it just me? You can follow the show online. Just search Couple of Mitches. If you don't, you're a dickhead.

Okie doke. Our honorary third wheel Oscar. I don't want to put you under any sort of pressure right now, but I will say that when we throw Jenna a bone and get her to do an Is It Just Me of her own. This is true. She really does nail it. She performs.

She's not disappointed once. Mitch, I don't know if you heard last week's episode on Wednesday when you left early and it was just Jenna and I. I was going to say I was in the room. No, no, no. You left. It was just her and I. Did you hear that part? No, I didn't.

No. Well, I got her to do an Is It Just Me. No warning at all. I just said, her to do an Is It Just Me? No warning at all. I just said, anyway, Jenna. Is it just me? And just threw her under the bus completely. And what did she say? Oh, it was like, do you feel sus when you buy bleach?

Like all she needs to say is that one line. I've got a great track record. I want to watch an MRI scan of Jenna's brain as she forms a sentence. Because I just adore Jenna. The fact that she's been as she forms a sentence. I just adore Jenna. She's been sitting on that. It's so funny. Totally. Some of her best ones are, is it just me or is there always a wet floor sign outside a David Jones store?

Is the mire roof always leaking? Or is the mire roof always leaking? And she's so right. She's so right. She's so right. As someone who works in a mire, yes, she's so right. And of course, don't forget, it was Jenna's idjim that birthed the whole sniffing rug thing.

That's true. She's the one that said that rug stores smell really nice. She did. And as I found out later, some of them do. You went viral on TikTok. I went viral on TikTok. Well done. I still get recognised to this day. As the rug sniffer. You probably don't want that profile following you around for the rest

of your life. We were in Newcastle and someone just came up and said, I loved your rug sniffing video. And I was like, okay, great. That's seriously the one that he gets recognised for the most. All the time. That's so cute. And I was like, you know what? Fair. So yeah, basically all we're saying is that. Don't be a joke. You'll be fine. No pressure, but Jenna usually fucking

crushes it. So now that you're in our state, you better fucking bring it. I mean, this could literally get me like fired. Can you do your best Jenna impression? Because Mitch and I both do a great Jenna. You guys do. It's half guinea pig, half missing girl. Yeah.

Hang on. Just pretend there's a bazooka to your head. Yeah. Is it just me? Do you know what I mean? I need a sentence to be given. Just say, I work on the Jonesy and Amanda show. Okay.

All right. Hi, I'm Jenna. No. And I work on. No, see, I can't do it. I can't do it. Hi. It's Jenna.

Yeah. It always ends in pain. Well, you guys say her more than I do. I don't say her that often. Against our will. All right. Bradley, we'll count you in. And then you hit us uh third wheel normally

fourth but today third wheel oscar better be fucking good oh god is it just me do we really need to humble big car drivers because I'm so sick of trying to drive in my little Corolla and then some fuckwit in a ute decides that, oh, I'm going to cut this faggot off. I don't think so. Yeah. Like, there needs to be a set of rules for people who drive big cars. And I'm also talking about buses and truck drivers too.

I agree. I think when you go to like a Ford dealership, in the same way that when you're on um a roller coaster yeah there is a sign that says must be this tall to ride yeah then there needs to be a must be this tall to drive i agree because small people in big trucks what are you trying to prove i i would love to see how it looks like when they're driving like i just imagine that short that short people have, like, bricks or something on the bottom of their feet. Glue sticky tape to their soles. Sticky tape to their soles. Because, like, I can't deal with it.

And, like, bus drivers as well. Like, my dad may be a bus driver, but Jesus Christ, some of them need to learn how to drive. Did you say my dad may be a bus driver? Like, you're not sure? You haven't spoken to him in a while? Oh, no, he is. Like, my dad might just be a bus driver. I just found out he is.

I've just found out. The three of us all have little hatchbacks. We have tiny cars. Yeah. Well, mine is weird because it's a small car technically. It can fit in the small car spot at the supermarket car park, but everyone always goes, fuck, it's surprisingly spacious in here. A lot of boot space, a lot of foot space.

It's not all crammed if there's three people in the back seat. It goes all right, my little small car. Yeah, interesting. But you've got, I feel like I can read this in people. You've got small car energy. Yeah, that's fine. I do. And Oscar, you have, now you're tall, so you've got like midsize SUV energy. Yeah, I would love an SUV. I've got a little Corolla at the moment. You strike me as a Subaru Forester driver. Oh no. A lesbian car. That's the lesbian car. I'd just say you're like a as a Subaru Forester driver. Oh, no. A lesbian car. That's the lesbian car. I can see you in like a Mazda CX-3.

Oh, I love a Mazda. What are they? Google it. It's like a five-seater, but it's got a little bubble butt on it. It's a little higher off the ground. It's like one of those small cars that's like up on stilts. Oh, yeah. See, I would describe that as a big car.

It looks like a soccer mum car. Yeah. Yeah, but it's not big like a ute or something. No, the mum would get the CX-5, Mitchell. Yeah. The CX-5's got more space for netball on weekends. That's so true. See, I like the CX-3.

I like that its butt is the same shape as mine. Yeah, of course. It's peachy and opens from the top. Well, that's it. But just fuck me, even like coming to the studio today, like I got riled up and I was in the car because some arsewipe, he just decided, oh, last minute, well, I'm going to change into the next lane and nearly hit me the car. I'm so sorry. Jenna would never say that word. I'm so sorry. I got excited.

What car do you see me as? That's an excellent question. Use your skill. I actually think that your car is too small for you. What car do you have currently? I have a Hyundai i30. Oh, that's way too small for you. I is too small for me. What car do you have currently? I have a Hyundai i30. Oh, that's way too small for you. I know, but I'm getting a car at the moment. I'm in the process. Okay, I know we mentioned it before. I really could see you in a CX-3 or CX-5.

Yeah. I could see you in a Land Cruiser. Oh, my God, Mitchell. Oh, that's good. With the roof racks for your surfboards because you're a big boy. I've always wanted one of those old Jeeps from- Like a Wrangler? Yeah, like from-

Jurassic Park? No, I was thinking more Gilmore Girls. Oh, see, that's the cross diagram of our brains. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am woman. Would you do a soft top or a hard top? We're still talking about cars here. I do like a hard top, but I think if I went to get the Jeep,

I'd probably go with a soft top. Yeah. I kind of want a convertible, though, just so I can live a Paris Hilton life, but I might just have to hire that. Oh, fuck that. Is it just me on the fly? Are they not making convertibles anymore?

No, they're not. I haven't seen one in forever. I never see convertibles. They've made, my dad would be so proud of me right now. The bus driver. The bus driver, yeah. The only cars making convertibles now are the complete luxury cars like Porsches. What are they called?

Lamborghinis. Yeah, right. Like actual luxury. Like actual luxury Italian cars. They're the only ones doing it now. Wow. We'll start saving Lamborghinis. Yeah, right. Like actual luxury. Like actual luxury, like Italian cars. They're the only ones doing it now. Wow. We'll start saving, I guess. Yeah.

Fuck. I remember I wanted a V-Dub convertible back when I was a kid. Oh, yeah. A bright yellow or a green V-Dub. Oh, a bright yellow. I've always wanted a bright yellow car. Me too. Wouldn't that be cute?

This is like the most masculine conversation I've ever had. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I've hated every second of this. I'm so sorry. When do we start doing car chat? Fucking hell. Mummy says. Jenna would never. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've hated every second of this. I'm so sorry. When do we start doing car chat? Fucking hell. Jenna would never.

No, no. No, Jenna's itching would be, is it just me or is vehicular manslaughter not even that bad? I think it's still pretty bad. She would. Is it just me? Bicycle, bicycle. She would. Is it just me? Who's ready for segment of the year? Are you?

Oh, yeah, I am so excited. That wasn't fucking rhetorical. Why is no one matching my energy right now? I thought that was Oscars theme music being the town bicycle. I was confused. Yeah, no, I had flashbacks. I'm just going to say I am not at all excited for this and I actually think this is the beginning of the end.

Nostradamus predicted a great crash in 2024 and I believe this is it. Why would you say such a thing to me, Turing? I've said it to your face, Mitchell. Yeah, why would you say such a thing? Why write that for? Are we really at this level where we have to rank bike bells? Yeah. Yeah, I'm so down.

Because you reckon they all sound the same, right? I do. I've discriminated against the bike industry. But remember, I did my cycling in the city course, and when they were getting us to ring our bells in unison, it was absolute chaos because everyone sounded different in terms of tone, pitch, mood. And I think there's a stark difference.

So we're doing top five bike builds. You're going to be ranking them. I'm excited. Yeah. Oh, okay. Now I'm excited. I'm involved. I was just left out.

I can't really get on a bike. I've got heavy butt cheeks and I sort of sit to the sides. I, Mitchell, so your bike, my Fanwe. Fanwe or Regina because she's purple. Yeah, or Regina. Gina can be named after, my fan, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, can be named after Gina Riley or Gina Liano up to you.

Okay. Not Reinhardt though. That's an important distinction. No, no, not right. So it's my fan. We all Regina. And that's a, it's a reference from drag race. What is my family?

All Regina? No, no. What's the reference? My family is the first name. All Virginia is the color. Cause she's a purple bike. And then I just put Gina on the end of it. Then where's Mifanwi from?

It's just a pretty name, don't you think? So can we settle on Mifanwi, can we? I want we in my bike's name. Oh, it's from Kath and Kyle or whatever that shit is. But also, when I bought the bike, I got trolled by a woman named Mifanwi. And then I put on Instagram saying, should we name it after her? And so we did. Funny.

So we settled on Mifanwi. Yeah. All right. Would you like to hear Mifanwi's bell before I push on with all the other bells that have been submitted? On your bike, yeah. No, I have sat on Mifanwi, and I enjoyed it. Did you?

And I did ring, yes, in your living room, and I rang the bell. I don't remember it. But, yeah, I'd love to hear it, Mitchell. Okay. Well, feast your ears on this shit. Wait. Is this included? What?

Sorry. Is this included in the top five five or this is excluded of rankings? No, I don't reckon you should put mine in the running. I mean, if you want to, you can. Okay, no, no, no. If it's just an outstanding bell, you're more than welcome to rank me first, but I'm not officially putting myself in the running. Okay, I'm closing the list.

Hi, it's Mitchell from Sydney. This is my bike bell. Thoughts? It doesn't sound effective in any way, shape or form. No, you should see. I actually feel quite powerful when I'm riding down the footpath or a shared path and I ring the bell, everyone just goes, oh. Really? Shoots their head around, ducks out of the way.

I feel like I'm driving an ambulance. You know the power of the siren? Oh, yeah, yeah. The power of the bell is the same for pedestrians. Okay, well, I don't have any reference point, but I like it at the moment. I do think I'm going to lean towards, you know the bell that is kind of like, it's on like a stick and it hits multiple.

It goes, brrring, brrring. Yes. It's got more of a grunt. I feel that It goes brrring, brrring. Yes. It's got more of a grunt. I feel that is more effective. But yours sounds pleasing to the ear. I think it does, absolutely. I'm like a fucking Somali. Look, what am I even talking about?

I'd be a great Somali. You're a Somali bell. Yes, I am, yeah. So I put a thing on Instagram saying, if you've got a bike, hit me up. And so I've got a bunch of people to send in their bell. I'm obsessed. But before we push on and rank the top five, you have to actually knock one person out of the running.

I've got six at the moment. And the issue is that two of them were both an A sharp. Oh. Oh, in terms of the note. But very different in tone. Oh. All right, so you're going to play these two for me and I'm going to eliminate. So you have to choose between Courtney and John.

I feel like Kyle Sanderland's on Australian Idol. Let's go Courtney first. Hi, it's Courtney from Queensland. This is my bike bell. Ouch. Did she say Creamsland? Oh, that's not Creamsland. Do you want to hear it again?

Yeah. Hi, it's Courtney from Queensland. This is my bike bell. I think she said Queensland. We knew what she meant. We knew what she meant. That's the bell. I like her.

Play just the bell. Okay, now let's hear the other one. Okay, this is an international bell. This is John from Portland and this is my bike bell. Oh, you're keeping John from Portland. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think so. Sorry, Court, you're out.

You're eliminated, Courtney. Sorry, Courtney. And when people get eliminated, on your bike is what we do. Courtney, on your bike. On your bike. I think that John's, even though it's an A sharp, it just has a bit more fucking gusto, a bit more oomph. Show it.

Play Just the Bell. Oh, Just the Bell. So this is Courtney's. This is John's. Oh, John's is so much better. John's has got like a gorgeous reverb to it. John's really carries and lingers. Absolutely. He's got vibrato.

He's in the Northern Hemisphere. John, you're in the competition. Congratulations. Congrats, John. You're going to Hollywood. Well, thanks for getting amongst it anyway, Court, but you're out. You're eliminated. On your bike. Your bike will be impounded immediately. On your bike, Court, please. Competition begins. This next one comes from Georgia. bike, court place. Competition begins. This next one comes from Georgia. Hi, it's Georgia from Sydney, living in London, and this is my bike bell.

Oh, she sounds so gorgeous. It sounded like a wind chime. She sounds like a cyclist though, just the tone and voice. Just the joy in her voice. That's Georgia, is it? Yes, that's Georgia. Living in London. Yeah. Well, so far we have to put that at five. There's no option. Yeah.

Do you want to just go through them and then we can repeat them as we need to? Yeah, good idea. Because they're all so drastically different. Well, Georgia's at five at the moment. Okay, ready? This next one is from Alexandra. Hi, it's Alex from Perth and this is my bike bell. God,

see, this is where they sound the same to me. I'd put that at five. Currently, that's at the bottom of the list. That one's worse. She also wooed. Yeah, I love you, Alex. Listen to how proud she is of her bell. Alexandra's great bell. I wonder if she's related to Alexander Graham bell. Perhaps. How cute. I loved if she's related to Alexander Graham Bell. Perhaps.

How cute. I loved the woo actually. I think we'll keep that at fifth. Sorry George's is better. Okay. That one sounds like it's a rusted bell you'd find at an antique store at a truck stop. Sounds rusted on. I don't reckon lock in the ratings yet because you haven't heard them all.

Okay sorry. We're just getting so excited. Oscar hold it, hold it. Hold it, hold it. Beg your pardon. Well, this next one is from Will. Hey, guys, this is Will from Waterloo and this is my back bell. That's pretty, isn't it?

That's actually very pretty. Yeah, that's nice. Actually, I like that one. I like Will's. I was so excited and. I hate it again. Will's, you sound lovely, but that sounds exactly the same to every other bell I've heard. No.

Well, you're fucking wrong because Will's is a G, Alexander's is a B, George's is an F, and Courtney's is an A sharp. And John, well, don't even get me started on that. No. Oh, sorry, it was John. We got rid of Courtney. They were both A sharps. Yeah, they were both A sharps. All right,, well, don't even get me started on that. Oh, sorry, it was John. We got rid of Courtney. They were both A-sharps. Yeah, they were both A-sharps.

All right, all right, next one. I need the next one. Okay, the final one. This is from Emma. Hi, this is Emma from Melbourne and this is my bike bell. Excuse me, excuse me, because I don't have one. Also, is it just me on the fly? But does it drive you bonkers when you see someone wearing a helmet

and they don't have the clip up? It drives me mad. It makes the whole helmet completely void. Please clip it up. Safety first. Thanks. Nah, I hear you, Em. I hear you.

I get the message, but really sort of took her moment and ran with it, didn't she? She's got a point, though. It's quite surprising out there on the streets how many people are riding without a helmet at all. No, I don't like it because she took over my show. Eliminate her. She's eliminated. I'm just obsessed.

So are you disqualifying her because she doesn't have a bell? It's not a bell. Like, I get it, and I think it's very funny what she did, but that's not a bell. But think about this. If you're walking on the street, you're a pedestrian, and someone's behind you, would you prefer to hear this or this? Excuse me. Excuse me. What's more pleasant to the ear?

Well, it depends if she keeps rabbiting on like she did on when she was on the show. I'd much rather I'd hear the bell. I'd want the bell. Because the bell, I know there's a bike behind me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Could be a serial killer, you know? I'm just obsessed that Emma saw the opportunity to do her own

Is It Just Me and just went with it. Totally. Surprised she didn't plug her bloody candle company or whatever she's doing for work. Should we just play the jingle for her? No, we shouldn't. Now, I'm not going to lie to you, Cherry. I'm a little bit disappointed too that we didn't get one of these bells.

This is not sent in. This is just off YouTube. Uh-huh. That's what I want. That is my classic childhood bell. I have one of those on my green machine. Uh-huh. That's what I want. That is my classic childhood bell. I have one of those on my green machine. Yes, right? See, I was hoping we'd get something like that.

That brought me back. But I still think even though everyone's got the cheap one, they're all completely different and I can prove it. This is what they all sound like when you play them at once. Oh, my God. Ready? Excuse me. Excuse me. See? It God. Ready? Excuse me. Excuse me.

See? It causes a harmony. Excuse me. Excuse me. Okay, it's gorgeous, and I'm beginning to like that woman. Right, and you can hear Alex's little woo in there too. Excuse me. Excuse me.

This is ridiculous. Sounds like someone's, okay. Excuse me. All right, I think I've heard it enough. Sorry. One more time. Excuse me. Excuse me.

It's quite melodic, isn't it? All right. Can we rank them? Yeah. Yeah. I think I have to rank... Excuse me. Excuse me.

Oscar, you need to help me here. Yeah. It's funny and it tickles me. Yeah. Really? Yeah. She's back in the running, you reckon? I think she's back in the running now.

She's gotten me. Which one's going to get your attention out of all these fucking bells? Excuse me. Excuse me. Her. I think, like, I would say, as your brains trust, I'd put that at a safe number three. Like, in the middle.

Yeah, let's put her at number three. I think number three. Put her at three. All right. Emma in third place. Correct. Miss excuse me. In second place. Yeah her at three. Alright. Emma in third place. Correct. Miss excuse me. In second place. Yep.

Who was the old chap from Portland? Oh, John. John's was gorgeous. I think so. John's was gorgeous. Do you want to hear it again? Yes, please. This is John from Portland and this is my bike bell. Beautiful reverb. I don't know if it's because I've got headphones on, but it does hurt the ears a little bit. It's a little bit grating, but he fucking rings it like no one else's business. Beautiful reverb. I don't know if it's because I've got headphones on, but it does like hurt the ears a little bit.

It's a little bit grating, but he fucking rings it like no one else's business. That thumb has been places. Put John in number two. I think John number two. Yeah. I think number two. Yeah. All right.

Now fifth, we need to go straight to fifth place. So who's was the worst? I'm going to have to hear them again. Can you play the isolated bells? Okay. So this was Georgia. Sounds a bit like a microwave, doesn't it? Or an oven timer.

Easy bake oven. Alexandra. I reckon that's pretty. And I give her points for the woo. Yeah. I think Georgia's is number five. Play the other option. Will.

Oh, Georgia needs to go straight to five. Yeah. After hearing how good Will is, Georgia is barely. Georgia's at five. She's lucky she's in London. Otherwise, I'd really, I'd throttle it. I think Will's is a really pretty G note. Will's is very pretty.

No, Will is currently a contender for the top place. I mean, that's lovely. So who are we left with now? So we've got Will and. You've got Will and Alexandra. Okay, play Will and Alexandra. This is Will. This is Alexandra. Okay, play Will and Alexandra. This is Will. This is Alexandra.

Oh, God. They're very different. Bells, can you play yours, Mitchell? Oh, maybe I'm in the running. Oh, no, yours sounds like a vintage oven. Do all three now. Okay. God, I'm really leaning towards Woo Girls to top it off. Just the enthusiasm.

I love it. It's adorable. What positions do we have left? First and third? First and fourth. Oh, fuck. Oh, God. This is already in third place.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Okay, bump her down to fourth. I think she should go down to fourth. Bump her because it's not a bell. It's not a bell. All the fun I was having with that is now killed. Now that I've heard Will and Alexandra.

Totally. Okay, so for first place, this is the fucking big one. Yeah. Okay. This is the big one. For first place, are you going the Woo Girl, Alexandra or Will? I've never seen she reconcentrate this much. I'm thinking so hard.

I'm thinking so hard. I think Will's is classic much. I'm thinking so hard. I'm thinking so hard. I think wheels is classic bike. I think, yeah. If I worked at Disney Pixar and they said, we're doing another Nemo, except now Nemo is a little boy who rides a bike to the milk bar every day. In my Disney Pixar brain, I'd want to hear, play wheels? Yeah.

That is the most Random hypothetical If Nemo wasn't a fish And could ride a bike It's not the Disney app It's a big if Now play Play Bridget Alexandra

Alexandra Fuck it's good It's good It's beautiful It's beautiful It is stunning Wow Plus the woo

I think Alexandra's won I think Alexandra's won I agree Give her the title Best She's got the one Bell In the history In the history. Best Belle in the history of Belles. In the name Alexandra Graham Belles.

It's in her lineage. It's in her family. It's in her lineage. It's descendants. And you know what, Mitchell? Yours can get third position. Fuck that other guy. You've just completely discarded Will.

What did he do wrong? Yours is better than Will's. Really? Play Will's. Then play Will's. That's Will's. That's Will's. This is mine. Yours is better. Play Wills. Then play Wills. That's Wills. That's Wills.

This is mine. Yours is better. Yours is vintage. Yours sounds like a, if I was in Looney Tunes and I was Tweety Bird and they went, Tweety, do you have an idea? And Tweety goes, a little light bulb appears in my head. Oh, I see. Mine sounds like a glockenspiel.

It does actually. Oh, it does a little bit, yeah. Oh, congratulations to Portia. Congratulations everyone. That's really fun And one last time One more group hug All the bells at once Excuse me

Excuse me Can we make that Available for download For our idiots To be text tones I should make that My text tone Excuse me

Excuse me Well idiots And all your bells Thank you For sending in And congratulations Alexandra from Perth. Well done, Alexandra from Perth.

DM Pricekeeper Jenna, and we will get you a prize. I need to double check my facts. It was Perth. Hi, it's Alex from Perth. Yeah, well done. She's got the American accent. Congrats, Alex. Now, well, stay tuned to find out what the next IJM investigative top five is.

I feel like you went into it being like, this is going to be shit, but then you were one over. You were so sweet. I was so into it. But I'm very competitive. So that's why. I will, here's my vow to this show. I will do the next IJM competitive top five. Okay.

Ooh, okay. I'll think of one. It has to be audio related because so far they've all been. Naturally, yeah. And we need to get the idiots to send in something that everyone has. We've already done the top five doorbells. We've done top five car horns and now the bike bells. I've got it.

What? I've already got it. Top five sneeze. Everyone has a really interesting sneeze. How are you going to get them to sneeze on command? They'll have to record their whole life for a day. Dedication to the show. Yeah, well, that's it.

Thank you for filling in Prize Keeper Oscar for the day. Yeah, make sure you send Alexandra her prize, please. Yeah, alright. What's something bike-related we can send her? I don't know, leather gloves or a lesbian wife. It's very bike, isn't it? A watch. Yeah. I love

my bike riding era. I love it for you, actually. Purposely didn't ask any questions. Did I have this attitude towards you with the hot girl walks? No, I didn't. No, you didn't. Can you see what I have to deal with every fucking twice a week now, actually? Yes, I can.

Well, the thing is, between us, we've lost 100 kilos. That's true. Yeah. I was going to say, I haven't lost anything. It's not true. He's lost 40. I haven't lost 60 kilos. So Mitch called me the other day.

He's like, I was listening to the podcast, editing the podcast, and you said, yeah, between the two of us, we've lost almost 100 kilos. And me without thinking, I just went, true, actually, yeah. And I'm like, I have not lost 60 kilos. Not even close. You know what I'm spewing about? Tell me. I was cleaning out my wardrobe.

This is pre-health kick. I was cleaning out my wardrobe and Oscar was over and I said, oh, you can have these clothes. I'm too fat for them now. And then went on my health kick and I said, can I have those back? And he said, no. Guess where he got that shirt he's wearing right now? I thought it was gorgeous.

What am I? Yeah, that is actually a very Mitchell Coombs number. Did you crop it or is it cropped? No, it was already cropped. It wasn't cropped on me because I'm not as tall as him. Oh, because you're a bit tubby. That was actually one of Mitch's favourite handkerchiefs. Yes.

Yeah, it was a pocket square. Oh, no, that was Mitch's doona. No. Excuse me. Excuse me. Anyway, we better go. Can we start playing that whenever we have a guest on the show that won't shut the fuck up? I think that should be a permanent fixture on your sound effects board.

I think so. Deal. Well, once we get into the new studios, currently we're in other studios. I don't even know what we've got in this one. I don't know how it works. I've been running the sound effects today for the bells and shit. It's quite fun, actually. It is fun, isn't it?

I get why you get caught up in it. I'm trying to find sound effects on this board. I've got sound effects in front of me, but I don't think they work. Oh, yeah, they do. Oh, yeah. Well, thanks for joining us. Actually, I wonder if this will work. What?

This. Oh, God, not this again. It's me. I have Maddie McCann. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That wasn't me. That was the intruder. Another dollar in the swager. Another dollar. That can be our new correct sound effect.

That's true. Our new correct tick. All right, everyone. Well, thank you so much for having me, girls. It's a pleasure. Love being here. Pricekeeper Oski. Give us a five-star review, please.

It's very easy to do on Spotify now. You can do it as well. Leave us a review. And maybe in the question box in Spotify, it can be watched our next top five investigation. Good call. I like it. I like that. We should investigate sound-wise. It's got can be, watch our next top five investigation. Good call. I like it. I like that.

We should be investigating sound-wise. It's got to be audio we can play on the pod. Before we go, idiots, just a heads up that we will not be back with a brand new episode on Monday because we're having a week off over Easter. I'm going to be back in Bogengate spending time with the family. And then we'll be back with you the following Monday. Yeah, it'll be nice.

A little well-deserved break. Enjoy your Easter, idiots. We'll see you soon. Happy Easter. Hope you have a gorgeous day. Yeah, see you, idiots. Have a good Easter. Goodbye. it'll be nice. A little well-deserved break. Enjoy your Easter, idiots. We'll see you soon. Happy Easter. Hope you have a gorgeous day. Yeah, see you, idiots. Have a good Easter. Goodbye.

Love ya. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief, our secret segment on the end. We pretend the show's done, but we keep talking shit. Look, I've probably got a good five in me that I really have to go.

Yeah, fair call. I did this last week too. This is a pattern with you at the moment. No, listen. It's ridiculous. I'm not having a go at you. It's ridiculous the situation we're in. There's so much going on. I'm not allowed to use the new studio yet because, A, they're not set up,

and, B, I have to do a safety induction. He does. Oh. Which means he has to come back to the old studio especially. It's not like when we do the podcast normally where you're running a little bit late but you're in the building already. Yeah. So you just finish the podcast and then off to work.

Now you have to drive fucking 20 minutes to the new studio. Totally. And it was an ass. I'm not going to South Africa and I was really looking forward to it. I actually was convinced for a hot second that you were going. Well, Callum, who's one of our idiots, photoshopped me in the form of I'm a celebrity, get me out of here gear, posted it and everyone was messaging me thinking it was leaked.

I'm like, it's not real, guys. But I couldn't tell them. I felt so bad during that because I'm a shocking liar and I'm sitting there going, oh, my God. It's my phone. Who's ringing now? It's my executive producer. Yeah, she wants you. Yeah.

Oh, holy fuck. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ, someone's just burst into the studio. It's a joke. What? It's Jenna. What's going on?

Pricekeeper Jenna, what's wrong? Why am I not here? Because you told us you couldn't do it. Yeah, but I thought that you just wouldn't do it for today. The show, I'm really afraid to say this, the show can go on without you. Jenna, hi. Oscar, I trusted you and you betrayed me. If it makes you feel any better, Jenna,

we were talking about how your idjims have a great strike rate. They're always fucking good. We were complimenting you. Thank you. That's right. I don't know if his was quite up to your standard because nothing is. Do you know what, Jenna? It really was not and I will do better.

It was about cars, Jenna. Oh, no, I'm not interested in that. Jenna surprisingly has tapped into what our audience likes. Yes, yes. Can you also not budge like that? Like after the Sydney siege, you've got to knock. So I'm sitting here in the studio and I looked up at the screen where I can monitor the cameras and I just see this face appear

in the glass and that's why I went, oh, holy fuck, I thought it was a ghost behind me. The band's all back together. I'm actually going to post a video of this so people understand why I was so scared. I just saw a face appear. Now you can pull the mic up. You're currently hunchbacked.

You can just pull it up. I know. I've been – it's just been a long day. Well, Cherry, considering you have to go – I will do a swap. I was going to say it's like musical fucking chairs. No, I've got Pilates. Jenna, we're going to swap.

That's why I got dressed. Jenna's got Pilates. Can you give us five? Can you sit down for five minutes because I have to go. No, you don't have to if you can't, Jenna. My class is at 4.30 and it's currently 4.21. You better go. You better go, Jenna. What, do you do it in the building?

Where do you go? Around the corner. Top five burps. I'd win. Nah, I still reckon top five sneezes, Jenna, what do you think? Yeah. Oh, wow, what's going on? Are you alright? Top five hiccups. What do you do with, if I scratch your nose like that, does it make you sneeze?

No. No. Because I have such a Gregorius sneeze. Oh, have you officially crossed over into like dad sneeze? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I like start to get a – before it happens. Start that glissando.

Totally. My dad's sneeze, you could hear it within a square kilometre, I swear, it's like this. He goes – achoo! That just echoed. My dad will go, achoo! Like, oh. Mine are so dainty.

I go, mine are in turn. Can you do that again? It was like a little puppy. That was the most adorable you've ever been. Oh, that's so cute. That's what I mean, top five sneezes, I reckon they'd work. That would win. I reckon it ever been. That's so cute. That's what I mean. Top five sneezes. I reckon they'd work.

I reckon it would work. I don't want to win. I'd give it more points for being monstrous. I wouldn't give that the top spot, but that was fucking cute. That sneeze from you. There is a sneeze. If you go to my Instagram when I sneeze in front of Miley Cyrus, that's my real sneeze.

If you guys want to see my real sneeze. Yeah, that was horrible. That was horrible. 5am. I'm going to play that audio now, ready? This is miley cyrus you didn't realize she joined the zoom call hello oh hey oh my god hey there you are how are you good morning that was a real sneeze jenna do you need to go or not she's still here oh yeah i need to go to the toilet all right How are you? Good morning. That was a real sneeze. Ed Blue. Jenna, do you need to go or not?

She's still here. Yeah, I need to go to the toilet. All right, ta-da. All right. Bye. Ta-da, Jenna. Bye, Jenna. See you.

Go to Pilates. Bye, Jenna. Bye, Jenna. Bye, Oscar. I forgive you. Thank you, Jenna. Both of you, I don't. See you.

What did I do? I don't know. Actually, I didn't do anything either. It's her job. I just turned up. No, you did a great job. Thank you so much. Can I leave you two? I've got a 4.45.

That's fine. You go. Yeah, you go, babe. We got this. Great to see you, Chook. Thank you so much for having me, Chook. I'm going to do this now while I've got two voices. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today.

That's all. So we do. Oh, that was nice. You guys had the So we do. Oh, that was nice. You guys have the exact same note. Can you do a harmonised one, please? Where are you going to hit? So we do, do, do. No, Mitch, go like this.

So we do. So we, so we do. So we do. So we do. So we do. So we do. So we do. Excuse we do. So we do. So we do. So we do. So we do. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Should we just end it? We've been going. We've been going? What do you mean? Do what you want, guys. Yeah, no, you've got to go. You've got to go.

That's all that matters. You've got to go. Bye. Love you. If you want to do anything, is there anything in here you need help with? No, I'm good. I got this. Bye.

I love you. Ta-da. See ya. Bye. Right, it's just us, Chook. We can carry on. Yeah, it's just us now, Chook. Can I tell you, idiots, I was thrilled that recently Oscar came over and I was watching McLeod's Daughters, his hat on in the background.

He was sort of keeping an eye on it, sort of ignoring it. And he got so swept up in it, he's obsessed with McLeod's Daughters now, which if you don't know, it's like an iconic Australian drama. And it wrapped up in 2008, I think. My favourite fucking show as a kid. It's set on a farm. So to me it was like, ooh, regional vibes.

It felt like being represented. Exactly. It's a farm show. I invested. And now we watch it just to take the piss and it's so fun. And let me just tell you, idiots, I don't think I've ever watched a program where people faint in it seven times.

Sorry, I forgot my pass to get out of the building. No, Chalky. See ya. Do you want some popcorn? I'd love some popcorn actually, yeah. I thought you needed to go. Hurry up. I lost my pass, couldn't get out.

See ya. Bye. Bye. Anyway, I'm chewing now. So I got him so swept up in McLeod's Daughters. And so I'm just going to let everyone in on this stupid inside joke we've developed. I actually want to cheer to be here for this. But there was a point in the McLeod's Daughters series, right,

where ratings started to dip a little bit because literally both original McLeod's Daughters had left the show. Yeah. And so in order to try and win viewers back, they started running these ads on TV that were trying to use sex appeal to win viewers back. They were basically making McLeod's daughters look like it's a porno. Yeah. And have all these really hot actresses.

I was showing Oscar these ads and we were just taking the piss. So obviously you can't see this, but just imagine they've got one of the cast members in a fucking singlet top. She's cracking a whip, trying to look all sexy. There's close-up shots of her boobs. Yeah, boobs, ass, like all of it. It's nuts.

Yeah, and this is what the promo says. Old MacLeod had a farm. And on that farm, he had a fox. It's wild in the country MacLeod's Daughters returns Wednesday, September 20 to 9 So that was Stevie, they've called her the fox And every single character was a different animal in these porno ads So this was Jodie's one Old MacLeod had a farm

And on that farm Jodie's one. Old MacLeod had a farm. Tits. And on that farm, he had a swan. It's wild in the country. MacLeod's Daughters returns Wednesday, September 20 to 9. And they've dolled them up to make them look really fucking hot. It's such false advertising. People are going to tune in.

All the horny blokes seeing these ads are going to tune in thinking, oh, these fucking hot chicks are on there. And then they go in there, they're wearing flannels, they're all dirty. They're wearing flannels, dirty, and they're fainting every 10 seconds. Like, I'm just like, yeah. But they did one. So my favourite character from the whole series I've worked out is Fi. Oh, Alex's fiancée.

They did her dirty. They did her so – can you play hers? They did her so dirty in these ads. Like, Alex's fiancé. They did her dirty. They did her so can you play hers? They did her so dirty in these ads. Like, I was absolutely furious. I had to leave the room, didn't I, Jules? You did. I was so mad. You were like, not my Fee. This is what they called her out of all the animals that old McLeod has on his farm. This is what they said about poor Fee.

Old McLeod had a farm and on that farm he had a cow. Rude. So then obviously we started taking this to fucking farm. Yeah, naturally. We started finishing the sentence ourselves. And on that farm, he had, insert joke here, let me see if I can find some porn music.

Yeah, go on. This is how we spend our fucking Friday evening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did this for hours. Oh, that's good. Oh, that's a good one. Okay, so this is the sort of shit we were saying. Old MacLeod had a farm.

And on that farm, he had a pig. It's wild in the country. McLeod's Daughters, 7.30 Wednesday on 9. And then, of course, we took it too far as per fucking usual. Actually, give us an example of one of the ones you did. Ready? Old McLeod had a farm. And on that farm he had syphilis.

It's wild in the country. MacLeod's daughter's 7.30 on 9. 7.30 just every day. It was 7.30 Wednesday. It was in my routine. I loved it. As soon as Tracy Grimshaw started to wrap up a current affair, I'm like, fuck yeah. It was 7.30 Wednesday. It was in my routine. I loved it. As soon as Tracy Grimshaw started to wrap up a current affair, I'm like, fuck yeah, we're on.

McLeod's daughter's time. And McLeod's daughter's honestly is way more dramatic than I thought it was going to be. Oh, I know. And I'm so on board for it. Like, Tess, Tets, listen. I understand you've gone through a lot. Why the fuck do you faint every 10 seconds?

Yeah, I was really worried about her iron levels for a while. So was I. Okay, ready? I'm going to do another one. Oh, do another one. Yeah, go on. And also while we're doing these ads, you need to also imagine that we're acting it out.

We're acting like slutty women. Oh, yeah, yeah. Trying to be all seductive. We're like this. Old MacLeod had a farm. this old mcleod had a farm and on that farm he had cancer it's wild in the country mcleod's daughters 7 30 wednesday on nine what is wrong with us well what's one of the other ones you did? I can't remember. I'm going to put you on the spot. Ready? Yeah. Okay. Old MacLeod had a farm.

And on that farm he had a wasp. It's wild in the country. MacLeod's daughter's 7.30 Wednesday at 9. Perfect. Wouldn't you be spewing if you were labelled as the wasp? Oh, I'm sorry, but My Good Fee, they called a cow. Which if you've watched the show, then you will know that Fee is the most understanding character.

They turn up when some arseholes died. They treat her like shit. And they treat her like dog shit. She did nothing wrong. Not My Good Fee. I was just not having it. Justice for Fee. Fiona, my love, you've got my shit. She did nothing wrong. Not my good fee. I was just not having it. Justice for fee. Justice for fee. Fiona, my love, you've got my vote.

What about this, Freddie? Old MacLeod had a farm. And on that farm, he had enough. It's wild in the country. MacLeod's daughter. 7. wild in the country. McLeod's Daughter. 7.30 Wednesday on 9. I'm good at that. That is so good.

I'm good at sounding like a seductive old woman. Enough. That's my favourite. And he had enough. Anyway, McLeod's Daughter is a great show to take the piss out of with your friends, is what we're trying to say. Exactly. Have a couple of wines in your chooks, and I'm telling you, it's just so fun.

But you just get so concerned. There was a point where we were taking the piss, but I reckon you also nearly cried. Oh, I thousand percent nearly cried. You got swept up in it. I got swept up. Anyway, we should go, shouldn't we? Yeah, we probably should. I mean, we can talk for hours though.

We could. That's the problem. That is the problem. We'll keep talking. We'll just turn the recording off. Yeah, we better turn the recording off. All right. We'll talk to you soon.

Idiots. Love ya. Bye. Bye idiots. Bye. Bye, idiots. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.