Is It Just Me? - #20: Best 'Neighbours' Catfight Scenes

Episode Date: March 22, 2020

In this episode: The best 'Neighbours' catfight scenes (05:59)  Mitch's memory fails him again (14:32)  Katy Perry cancelled on Coombs (16:26) Bit more corona chat (18:56)  Our 'secret segment' ADDebrief (35:54)    Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. A surge in young people inhaling the gas from cooking canisters known as mains to get high. Some things make more sense than others. I've done everything for you. I've put my career on hold. I could have been anything if I'd had the talent. Brace yourself for observations you didn't ask for. This is leadership. I think he's one of the greatest leaders we've ever had. Do you?

Yeah. Well, good hope. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Should one of us be Mitch and the other be Mitchell just to make things easier? You're Mitch. I only call you Mitchell when you're being annoying.

You always call me Mitchell. Oh. Now, here's Mitch Choo Julie and Mitchell Coombs. Welcome back. G'day, here we are once again. We're here, even though it's the end of the world. The apocalypse is nigh. It's not really apocalypse.

Doesn't that mean that everyone explodes or something? No, apocalypse is the end of the world. Hey, former producer Jenna, can you Google the definition of apocalypse? If I have to. Groundskeeper, get on it. You know that Groundskeeper Jenna, the new title we've given her ever since she was stripped of being a producer, actually makes the most amount of sense

because all she does on this podcast is sit here and insult us, which keeps us grounded. Groundskeeper. You're metaphorically keeping us grounded. Exactly. That's the only reason she's here. You don't do much else. You actually come in with zero prep.

We prep the show and you just sit there and laugh at us. Could you tell us one thing that's happening on this podcast that we've got planned? I do know that I don't want to be here. But other than that. You can go, bro. Isn't Zumba today? Yeah, it is actually. I should be going.

We're recording early for you, so hopefully you make it out, Jenna. Yeah, hopefully. We're like the Big Bang Theory and Jenna's our laugh track. That was stupid. Jesus! Do you feel, like, bad for missing Zumba? Because I'll tell you one thing. I've had to miss Pilates the last few weeks because of my bloody hand injury.

Oh, it's still going. Went back to my first class last night and I'm a new person. You might notice how calm I am today. No. Actually, you have been calmer. Not the last few weeks. In general. Not without me Pilates.

I've been a bloody mess. What is Pilates? I actually don't know. So it's like it's quite when you leave, you realise, oh, my God, that was actually really an intense amount of exercise, quite a workout. But it's better because it's done under the guise of, oh, we're going to put on Spotify, meditation music,

put a nice candle on. So you don't realise how much exercise you're doing because it's all peaceful and nice. No one's going to leave you. Having done more of a workout than I would have ever done at the gym. Okay, I back it. I could never do it. Do you sweat?

Yes, it's like a lot of core stuff, so like sit-ups and twisting and bending and all that sort of stuff. I haven't been able to down with a dog for weeks, though. Of course you would sweat. Yeah, but I didn't know if it's like you're running or maybe you don't sweat. Maybe that's the point of it. Well, not heaps because you are so calm, but it obviously does produce a sweat, but not as much as at the gym when there's just a slight sense of panic in everything you do. I'm at the gym.

This is sounding like Michelle Bridges' podcast every week. No, she's out drink driving. She's not doing any of this fitzpo anymore. Oh, no. Sorry, too soon? She got charged, didn't she? I believe so. Oh, poor thing.

They're not doing RBTs anymore with the virus, so she can just down a bottle and go out with a commando. Do you remember that episode of The Biggest Loser where they used to do home visits where the trainers would spend a week with the fat so's to see how they live? Right. And at one point, these two fat guys bring out their meal and Michelle Bridges just started crying. I remember that. No, she didn't. She saw the size of the burrito. She's like, it's the size of a newborn child.

And it started crying. Did you really? Because they had to also eat the meal as well. The trainers had to eat what they ate. Oh, no. Oh, God, no wonder the poor bitch drinks. So there's Michelle Bridges eating this massive burrito. And she just started crying.

And afterwards, I think they brought out, like, a tub of ice cream each and filled it with M&M's, and that's where she was just gone. You know what? That is the producers being like, guys, let's just fuck with Miss Bridges. She's already got a drinking problem just tipping the m&ms in the tub of the connoisseur i remember this is true i used to think some poor boy came up it's like i'm 115 kilos and i was like that i'll never get there literally i am i could be on the biggest loser do you weigh yourself i don't weigh myself

it's too traumatic okay yeah i i don't just because i don't own a scales but apparently it's better not to i don't know yeah i i need too traumatic. Okay. Yeah, I don't just because I don't own a Scales, but apparently it's better not to. I don't know. Yeah, I need those commercial ones. It's about how you feel and all that shit. Yeah, but you know, I could lose some. I got on the gym. I went to the gym the other day, first time in months.

Got on the Scales. Wait, you did? Yeah, on a Saturday. Wow. I didn't know about this. But as I was running, it's in Cronulla and it's right opposite Cold Rock and I got a Cold Rock straight after because the whole time I was on the treadmill, I could see people mixing mix-ins on the cold bench. So I went and got one.

I did have a rosé straight after Pilates. So you're only human, darling. You're burning calories. So you can just put, it's like, it just equals negative, right? It cancels each other out. I don't think you would have burnt, I don't know how long you were on the treadmill, but I doubt you burnt enough to warrant an entire Cold Rock serving. No.

Because that's a lot of shit. Anyway, let's's get into the show if it's your first time listening welcome i'm mitch that's mitch there's jenna um this is is it just me and there's not really much to say about the show there's no real spine to it you say it every week though what what the show is yeah but i mean it's just a couple is it just me then we just throw shit against the wall and hope it sticks that is not what you're not a good salesman at all. But they're already listening. If they got through that fucking waffle about Michelle Bridges drinking problem. We kick off the show every week with an is it just me.

It's something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. We both have one is it just me each, and the other doesn't know what it's going to be. And so far we've only clashed once. That's when we were both talking about coronavirus. Tell me we're not talking about coronavirus this week. No, mine's like social quarantine vibes, but nothing to do with the virus.

Okay, well, mine's nothing of the sort. So let's dive into mine, shall we? A corona-free break. Okay, here we go. Is it just me or...? Has the TV show Neighbours absolutely gone to shit? I never watched it in the first place. Didn't you?

I've never seen an episode in my life. I was such a Neighbours fan back in the day. I feel like there was two types of people. You either loved Neighbours or Home and Away. Yes. I don't know why there had to be a loyalty. They weren't on at the same time. You could easily watch both.

Well, you see, at first I was a Neighbours fan. Yeah. And then during my teenage years, I was a Home and Away fan. Really? Coming of age. Yeah. Is one more mature than the other? Genuine question.

Does one deal with sex and drugs and the other one's more so birthday cakes and divorce? I don't know because I've never really watched Home and Away. But Neighbours is meant to be family friendly and light and fluffy, but it gets really intense, which brings me to why I've brought up this week's Is It Just Me? Apparently, last week was Neighbours' 35-year anniversary week. So they had this special week of stuff planned, and I saw a promo on TV for it. And it's possibly the worst ad I've ever seen. I was like, there is not one thing about that that I think is enticing.

Because I used to love Neighbours. Yeah. I lost interest gradually, but it's the last thing I want to watch now, especially after seeing this. In 35 years of Neighbours, there's never been a week like this. Five weddings. Three deaths. It all kicks off Monday.

Oh, my goodness me. She didn't even change the tone in her voice when she said, five weddings, three deaths. Is that where the Neighbours viewers are at? They're all such sick fucks that they just know they love a good death. We're going to jam three in the one week. Also, are the deaths at the weddings? I don't know.

What? I didn't watch last week i couldn't tell you what happened i really want to get someone who watched to explain what happened five weddings is a lot i'll tell you what would have been enough to draw me over the line because the best thing about neighbors is not the weddings or the deaths to me i used to love the bloody cat fights there were so many yes yeah theours Bickering was my favourite part of the show. I've actually brought a couple of my favourites with me as a bit of a throwback. So this one, the first one I'm going to show you, happened between Rebecca and Lynn.

Of course. So Paul Robinson's current wife and his ex-wife. I think he's got another one on the show now. God knows. He's had like 12. But this happened right after Rebecca and Paul got married. So she was still in the wedding dress. Oh, my God.

And then she noticed Lynn, the ex-wife, out in the front garden. So Rebecca just started a scrag fight with her while still wearing the white dress and got mud all over it. Anyway, here it is. Take a listen. What the hell are you doing in my garden? I thought you were still at the reception. Anyway, look, those roots are exposed. Now, I planted them years ago.

You've got to keep them. You don't live here anymore. Listen to me. I live here. This is my garden. I don't want you anywhere near it. All right, calm down. I am going.

But this is not your house, actually, is it? You. You know you understand? I am marrying you. Mum, you can't do that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I beg you, my love, do not. Just calm down now.

Literally two grown women just punching on, rolling around in the mud, having a fight. I was like, this is brilliant television. Why was that her dig? Like, you're with my husband, here's shit in the bed. Nope. She just said, those petunias like water. That's not a diss at all.

And you know, the woman that played Rebecca on Neighbours ended up becoming a radio announcer at Kiss. I'm very disappointed that our paths never crossed. Who is this? Jane Hall. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I would have loved to have just run into her in the hallway and congratulated her on that performance.

Bravo. Do you think if you quoted that, she'd know? Oh, what? I don't want you anywhere near my garden! She'd be like, oh, yes, one of my best. So the backstory is she moved in with the husband and obviously he's living in the house that that woman once lived in. Yes.

Jesus. I assume so. That's hardly important. The fight was the best bit. Why are they there so briefly after the wedding? Go and relax. Have a honeymoon. Couldn't tell you.

This is going way back. But clearly that part stuck with me. That was good. Okay. Now, this next one happened between Steph and Libby, two best friends. This wasn't a physical fight. It's a verbal fight.

So Steph slept with Libby's husband, Dan, and got knocked up. But what makes that extra shit is the fact that Dan and Libby could never have kids together. Oh, no. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this fight happened right after Libby found out. And Steph is out the front of her house trying to apologise. But possibly my favourite thing from this scene is that the whole time while the fight's happening, Margot Robbie's watching on.

Remember she was on Neighbours? Was she on Neighbours? Now she's like a superstar. But back in the day, she's just watching Steph and Libby fight on the front lawn. What's her relation to the girls? Neighbours. Oh, of course. That makes perfect sense.

Anyway, Steph and Libby fighting after Steph got knocked up to Libby's husband. Here it is. Steph, I've got to talk to Libby. No, no, no. She won't even let you in the front door. Libby! Steph, please. Libby!

No, no. Steph, come on. Libby! Someone should do something. Libby! Oh, this is awful. Libby! Shut up something Libby This is awful Libby Shut up Libby

Oh I am so sorry I don't want to hear any pathetic excuses from you How long? Were you and Dan together by any chance? No we weren't together Libby It was just one night You picked the one thing you knew would together by the time I got back? No, no, we weren't together, Libby. It was just one night. You picked the one thing you knew would hurt me the most.

You're having this baby. A thing I couldn't do. Here come the insults. You are a cheap tramp and a filthy liar. Don't you you are coming near me again. No.

Libby! Libby! See now if they had promised something of that flavour during the 35th anniversary week I would have been on board

in a heartbeat. I'll tell you what. The promo should have been the cheap tramp is back. I love how it would have been quite challenging for the writers, don't you reckon, trying to come up with insults that don't actually swear because of their time slot? Oh, 100%. Like, hurl insults at me right now without using any curse words.

Okay. Because you're on radio as well. You'd have to abide by the same rule. Yeah. You long-haired brunette bimbo. No, that didn't really sting at all. You little sissy. You preposterous pig.

I don't really know where to go. It's hard to insult without swearing. Jenna, you give it a crack. I'll try. You stupid, stupid boys. No. You just sound like a Christian. Frog mouths, each and every one of you.

Frog mouths. I would have said frog neck, Jenna. Look at the double chin on him. See, that's not on. Anyway, neighbours, try harder if you want me back. That's all I'm saying. More catfights. That's what we want.

You're actually right, because I'm hooked. After the second grab, I would watch want me back. That's all I'm saying. More catfights. That's what we want. You're actually right because I'm hooked. After the second grab, I would watch an episode now. That's great stuff. Important to note that Steph was in her dressing gown the whole time. Classic suburbia. And what is Margot Robbie? I'm just picturing her holding a cup of tea but with her whole palm to warm her hand. You know how they always stand there like this?

No, she was like a teenager. Yeah, she had the six-side fringe and the skinny jeans. We should do something. And now she's one of the biggest actresses in Hollywood. And I was like, oh, with that performance, it's a little wonder why. Margot Robbie is so charming. When I was in LA, because I'm in an hour, I saw, I went to Jimmy Kimmel, a taping, and she was the guest.

And like everyone in the audience was just listening to every single word she said. Yeah, right. And she's the queen of lapping it up. She's like, hi, she told a story about the Logies and name-dropped Karl Stefanovic on the show. And me and Hayden were like, this is great, but no one in the audience knew what was going on. Yeah, that would have meant nothing. They just laughed because she's so beautiful.

They were like, yes, Karl, we love Karl. But no one knew who she was. What show did you say she was on? Jimmy Kimmel, one of the late night shows. How do you go from watching Stefan Libby argue on the front lawn to being on Jimmy Kimmel? It's very impressive, her progression, isn't it? I know.

She's done well. All right. Ready for my agent? Yes. Diving in? Hit me with it. Here we go. Is it just me or...

A board game's just awful. Oh, yeah, they definitely are. I'm pretty sure I've used this as an agent before. You have not? Yes. Have you used it? Yeah. That's his memory playing up again. It's all right used this as an idiom before. You have not? Yes. I have, haven't I? Yeah. That's his memory playing up again.

It's all right. Have you really said this? Yeah. It was in December, I remember, because it was just before Christmas. And I was dreading going home because I was going to have to play board games with my family. And then I played a grab of Kanye West forcing the Kardashians to play some dictionary game. I don't even have a grab. Oh, this is so embarrassing for you.

Oh, my God. I actually feel real. I feel like, you know when an elderly woman wets themselves and that's the, you know, I'm senile now, you know. I could go to the shops before, but now I'm done. You know, or an old man forgets the name of his daughter and he goes, yeah, deep down he goes, I'm officially over. This is the moment I'm having right now.

Have you got anything else? I was just going to say that being quarantined, we goes, I'm officially over. This is the moment I'm having right now. Have you got anything else? I was just going to say that being quarantined, we tried to play some board games and we didn't enjoy it. What do you mean being quarantined? Well, because everyone's self-isolating at home all day. You go to work and you go home, you don't go out. You're here. Yeah, but you've got to come to work.

Us broadcasters. No, no. Self-isolating is when you full-on commit to being at home. You work from home. Obviously, you might have to duck out for the shops and stuff but yeah you wouldn't be here if you were self-isolating you're kidding no i never kid i genuinely i don't know i could be wrong but like you can't come to this office and then tell me that you're self-isolating i'm not ill i'm just doing it to flatten the curve

as everyone says flatten the curve yeah what's that well if everyone stays inside the less people are infected and the the infection rate drops all right and it flattatten the curve? Yeah. What's that? Well, if everyone stays inside, the less people are infected and the infection rate drops. Oh, right. And it flattens the curve. Sorry, how often do you go outside? Oh, when there's no pandemic? Very rarely.

But when there's a pandemic, even less. Shit. Well, there you go. So the coronavirus-free show is going really well. Jesus Christ. Well, I have nothing else to say.

Can I tell you something coronavirus related, actually? You know how I felt a bit bad because I was taking the piss out of you, making light of the fact that the Miley Cyrus show you had tickets to was cancelled because of coronavirus. And I went to Melbourne for it. Yes, you did. But something equally devastating happened to me last week. What happened? So I was locked in

to go along with Kyle Sanderlands to his one-on-one interview with Katy Perry. I was going to film it. I've worked with Kyle and Ducky over three years, two or three years, and I've never once gotten a photo with any of their celeb guests. I was like, this is going to be the first time I do it.

This is going to be the time I do it. I'm going to get a photo with bloody Katy Perry. I was beside myself. You know how much I love Katy Perry. You're a massive fan. You made us drink her Briggs, what was that? Her brag apple cider vinegar challenge. Her brag apple cider vinegar.

With some water. I do anything she tells me. That's right. Yeah. You remember that? Yeah, isn't it weird how my brain works? That was longer ago. I know.

But anyway, because she apparently came into contact with someone who was suspected of having maybe coronavirus or they were being tested or something like that. She ended up just calling off all interviews and then going back to the States, I think. But yeah, that was devastating. I was going to meet Katy Perry. So Kyle didn't have the interview and you didn't get to meet her either? No. Shit, Mitch. No. Devastating. That was a better idi was going to meet Katy Perry. So Kyle didn't have the interview and you didn't get to meet her either? No. Shit, Mitch.

No. Devastating. That was a better idiom than mine. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Both Mitches are very needy. So make sure you leave a review on your podcast app. Can't think of anything nice to say?

Just hit five stars and let them know what's currently on your left. I actually saw a review speaking of getting quite a few, which is good. I mean, we do bloody beg for them. Well, we should be getting a few. Homeless person in the Vatican City. We got one from Just Your Average Jazz. So obviously a musical theatre gay person. Fucking Hilarious is the title of the review.

Nice. Very fun. Stumbled upon this beast of a potty one drizzly Thursday whilst enjoying a Fitzbo bowl of corn cheese. The mega cheese kind. What? Paired with Cole's finest jar of home brand salsa. Boy, am I glad I did.

What a laugh. Spelled L-A-double-F. Cheers for the public lols team. Keep them coming with the Shackers. Obviously people who listen on Spotify or iHeartRadio, anywhere outside of Apple Podcasts, are unable to leave reviews. Apparently it's not an option.

But if you are just filled with overwhelming positive feedback that you'd love to leave, you just must get it out of your system, you can leave a review on our Facebook page because that would be helpful too. Yeah, it'd be lovely. Now, I know I said that it was going to be a corona-free zone briefly, but I am going to carry on with the corona chat

because you might remember, obviously we've not been taking the issue terribly seriously on this show, have we? No, we haven't. We've been making light of it, of course. Someone tweeted out to you. Did you see what they tweeted? No. They quoted your podcast and you retweeted it.

Your podcast. Yeah, what? Like, I'm not on it. Yeah, this is like when fathers distance themselves. It's your daughter. You wanted a girl. Here it is. Pop some,

he quoted you, pop some hand sanitizer on and get to the fucking flight. There we go. Exactly. That's, that's, that's exactly how seriously

we were taking the issue. You might also remember you made the point. You were like, oh, well, if any of us get coronavirus, we'll be fine.

And we were all like, oh, okay, it's not a problem then. Not a problem. Well, I saw a tweet and I want to let, I want to see if it makes you feel as guilty

as it made me feel afterwards. It said, every time you say that COVID-19 isn't that bad and point to the fact that it's only really fatal to elderly people or people who are already sick, you unmask yourself as someone who thinks that some lives, especially your own, is worth more than someone else's. Do you want to be the person who doesn't take this risk seriously and then brings the virus home to your community?

What will you touch at the supermarket that a mother with cancer then touches? When you go to the chemist, will your cough shower an elderly person waiting to? That came from Sally Rugg on Twitter. So essentially she's just saying, yo, just because your immune system's fine doesn't mean this issue doesn't affect you. No, and I'll agree. But to be honest, last week when we recorded,

things were drastically different. Yeah, things have really escalated. In seven days, so much has changed. I got on a flight to Melbourne and thought it would be fine, and three days later, you can't get on a domestic flight anymore. Really? They cancelled 90% of flights. And today, Virgin shut down.

I think that was international, though. Was it not domestic? Virgin International. There you go. Okay. Well, still, no one's bloody flying. No. People are getting more and more infected.

I tell you what, I've realised how slack I've been with the hygiene as well. Because the other day, I was driving home from the gym biting my nails and I was like, I didn't wash my hands after the gym. I was like, I'm bloody asking for it, aren't I? And I realised after seeing that tweet, I was like, damn, okay, the hygiene thing, it's not just me that that is endangering. I could touch something that someone who's vulnerable then touches it, et cetera, et cetera.

So basically I've been sanitizing my tits off now. Oh, me too. My hands are like bone dry from sanitizer. I had a little mini tub that I attached to my belt that I would wear around the office and it ran out. So I saw on TikTok, you know, the automatic ones on the wall and you put your hand under it and it goes. Yeah.

I've refilled mine from going in and out. That's smart. It took 15 minutes, but we got there in the end. And the aim was off. It went all over the floor. But I'm topped up with hand sanitiser. Totally. It's easy for people our age.

I would say that most of our listeners are, what, in their 20s. Plenty of people outside of that bracket, but that's fine. But I would say majority are in their 20s like us. It's easy to think that it doesn't really affect us. But I'll tell you what, haven't the ripple effects been intense? So, Petho, poor boss of one of the guys in our office, he resigned from his job at KISS. To take a gap year abroad. To go overseas and do what all the bloody white people do,

go to Europe, be a nanny, I don't know. Be an aubergine or whatever they're called. And then, obviously, actually, I'll find the grab of it. I'm just going to, let's pause recording. I'm going to find the words. Okay. All right, we're back. We're unpaused. I've just going to, let's pause recording. I'm going to find the words. Okay. All right, we're back. We're unpaused.

I've just found what Scott Morrison said word for word. Can you play it? Yep, here it is. Do not travel abroad. Do not go overseas. That is a very clear instruction. For those of you who are thinking of going overseas in the school holidays, don't. Don't go overseas.

So there's bloody Petho with his resignation letter in one hand and his bloody neck pillow for the flight on the other going, oh shit. No job to go to. Should we get him in here and ask him how he's feeling? I think so. We've got to stop harassing the staff.

We're just doing their job here. We dragged Sam in last week. We're in here like a fish tank. Come in. Can you hear me? Come in. I can broadcast. What did you just do?

I just pressed a button in here that said come in. He's walking in. Oh, like a loudspeaker in a school. Petho to the office, please. Petho to the office. Petho to the sick bay. Petho to the sick bay. I love the sick bay.

He's coming in. I'll turn his mic on. Welcome, Petho. Take a seat. Now, can I just say, Petho's a long-time I'll turn his mic on. Welcome, Pethos. Take a seat. Now, can I just say, Pethos is a long-time listener of the show. Is that right, Matt? Number one ticket holder of the show. He actually critiqued us last week.

He said, show was great, bit long. Oh, it went for what? You'd know. Is that the one where I was injured and couldn't edit? Yeah, yeah, that was way too long. Yeah, I agree. Now, Pethos, tell everyone what you do at KISS. What you did. I run the was way too long. Yeah, I agree. Now, Petho, tell everyone what you do at KISS. What you did.

I run the show at KISS operations and on air and out through KISS 26.5. Yep. Much better than Jonesy and Amanda. Yeah. Oh, God, that shit show. Yeah. Oh, shut up. Jesus Christ. Put me to sleep the other week. Oh, same. I feel bad bringing this up because literally all I

ever hear people say to Petho in the hallway is Oh, mate, what does this mean for your trip? Anyway, what does this mean for your trip? Play it again. I want to hear that bloody ScoMo thing. This must just absolutely make your ears bleed. Do not travel abroad. Do not go overseas.

That is a very clear instruction. For those of you who are thinking of going overseas in the school holidays, don't. Don't go overseas. He basically named you. If you're balding, if you're a 24-year-old balding man... From Surrey Hill.

From Surrey Hill, who works in broadcasting and who hasn't slept with people in a while... Cancel your trip. Cancel your plans. I'm joking. While, never, virgins represent. That's right. Were you already planning to cancel it? Not until the start of the week.

Sunday I decided to cancel it. Yeah, it's been this week that it's kind of amped up. You poor thing, Peth. So have you booked flights? Booked flights. Oh, I didn't know that part. Booked flights, visa. I'm 3K down at the minute.

Shit. Hopefully. Do they refund that shit? Flight? I'm hoping so because ScoMo's told them you can't? Flight? I'm hoping so Because ScoMo's told them Yeah You can't fly

So I'm hoping I get that The visa? I'm not sure yet But we'll see Bloody hell So you've resigned Have you asked for your jump back? Allegedly I have

But I can't confirm that Or deny it Of course Yeah trade secrets But hopefully by the time This podcast is out I can confirm or deny it We'll post a big smiling face or a sad face.

What was more awkward, resigning or unresigning? Unresigning. And I'd been in the works for a while. My boss said all week, you want to take that back, buddy? You want to take that back? Oh, well, that's good because I'm hearing all these stories about freelancers who have been completely fucked by the fact that everything's shutting down there's no event work there's no hospitality work there's no you know musicians

and videographers and stuff theater shows that all work on a freelance basis it's like bloody hell the saddest thing is the kid i was training to take my job he doesn't know that oh the poor guy's gonna have to tell his missus that they're on the streets. You would have walked in to that. I'd rip up that lease chair. Oh, no. We should have left. It's not funny.

We're not going to name them. Do you think it's actually bad, though? Like, if you went, would you be fucked? Wouldn't you have to stay in quarantine for two weeks if you got there anyway? Yeah, this is the problem, right? If you go there two weeks quarantine, I want to work. no one's going to hire in this climate yeah so i can't get a job so my other option is to keep traveling but every country you go to is two weeks in quarantine oh no how was spain oh yeah great hotel room yeah exactly right and how is germany oh yeah

great how was the local food restaurants closed. My head is literally spinning out with all the possible flow-on effects. Jenna, remember how we did that dreadful European Contiki? Everyone, if you're listening and thinking of going on Contiki, corona aside, don't fucking do it. It's dreadful. It's like a high school excursion. Anyway, yeah, the Contiki thing, that couldn't happen because they drive country to country in the space of a few days.

Oh, yeah. I just think Contiki should be cancelled altogether. Imagine all the basic white girls sobbing into their parents' money. I know. What a waste of a selfie stick purchase that was. I've done a Contiki and I loved it. I really enjoyed it. Really? Yeah, I was 19, went around the States

down the South. Wasn't gay at that point so no one wanted to bash me. I couldn't go back now. Well, Pev, please come back and give us an update next week. We'll post a little status. I can't wait to come back next week. We could employ you here. I mean, Jenna does jack shit, so you could fill in for her. No, I'd do nothing. Jenna's my favourite part of the show, actually. She is. Me too.

She's my life. Thank you. We're pretty lucky, though, because I don't have anyone that's been affected by it thus far, other than the ripple effect. No, that's the thing. It has affected me officially today. I remember I told you we could... Ooh, fuck, it's Jesse. He's got it. No, but I'm more like, oh, shit, have I struck an earth? No, no, no thing. It has affected me officially today. Remember I told you we could... Ooh, it's juicy. He's got it. No, but I'm more like, oh, shit, have I struck an earth?

No, no, no, no, no. Today I had to say my last official goodbye to my grandma because I can't see her for the foreseeable future because she's 89 and in that age bracket that is severely at risk and the poor thing has lived in isolation for 10 years in her house on her own with her cat because my grandfather died 10 years ago she's been on her own in this massive house no chance of getting any illness and uh she moved into a retirement home last week which is riddled with pandemics

and stds apparently oh right so you think she would have been better off just still staying at home but the the the pines as it's called they don't call it a retirement village it's called the pines i mean it's a retirement village they all mean, it's a retirement village. They all shit themselves. It's a retirement village. And they call my mum and they're like, you have to come in and say your goodbyes. One person has to be written down as the visitor and no one else can visit until it's all cleared. It could be six months. It could be six months.

The last thing is, the worst thing they can think of is one person coming in and then all those fucking people dying. It's all they need. So I had to say goodbye to her today. I was kind of like, see you in whenever. You were the one person? No, as of Friday. You were the last person she saw.

I thought, poor lady. As of today, all the family went in and was like, hey, man. But when you say goodbye, you don't mean like goodbye, goodbye. You just mean for the time being, right? It's like we're not going to be able to see you for a long time. And gosh, you just can't fucking FaceTime. So I'm not going to see her for a couple months, I think. Wow.

She's probably stuck. Well, what did you say to her? What did you say to her? I can't imagine being in that scenario. I would be so awkward. She said, it's all a hoax. None of it's real. And I said, is it?

It's all fake. She went, Alan Jones says everyone is blowing it out of proportion. I'm like, no, Alan Jones is in isolation in a mansion in the northern beaches. Like, because he's petrified of it. Like, he's just, of course he's saying that. She's like, no, if Alan tells me that we need to worry, then I'll start worrying. So she doesn't give a shit. Well, as an anti-vaxxer, I also believe this whole thing's a piece of shit.

You do believe it's not real. Petha doesn't believe I am. It's not real. But it's believe I am. It's not real. But it's fucked me over big time. It really has, hasn't it? Yeah. Well, one of the producers of Jonesy and Amanda. Those four people.

Yep, where I work. Well, her dad has coronavirus. Really? Yes. So she can't see her father. So has she had contact with her dad? Well, he's in Adelaide. Aha.

So she's fine. But her dad's partner doesn't have it. You're kidding. And they were together. Wow, isn't that interesting? I just don't understand all of it. It's all too much to get my head around. Also some people are like, I've got it, zero symptoms. And then on Twitter, someone's like, I can't

breathe and I'm bleeding out of my eyeballs. It's like, where's the middle ground? The happiest person is Christian Wilkins because he's got the most PR of anyone. Oh, yeah. He's like, give it to me. Now he deserves to be on Dancing With The Stars. He did it before, but now he's a star.

Yeah, it's weird times. Very weird. Anyway, Pef, I thought I should have given you a little keychain, the Union Jack or something. Yeah. Fridge mag. Oh, well. Bring me a trip.

But you're not going. Yeah, nah, don't bring that up. Sorry, mate. It must really fuck up your life too, mate. You know you're in and out of LA. Yeah, I can't get it all right. You can't be in or out at the moment, can you? Yeah, really? God. Oh, bloody hell. Yeah, we should go.

Pethos up and walking. See you, mate. Bye, Pethos. Bye. See you later. Did you say debrief? Debrief. What's that? What are you talking about? Out of here. Beat that. Out. See you, buddy Did he say debrief? What's that? What are you talking about? Out of here. Beat that. Out. See you, buddy.

He's so nice. Wow, for someone who started the show saying we weren't going to talk about coronavirus so far, other than Neighbours, that's all we've spoken about. If we promoted it like Neighbours did, it would be four friends, one life ruined, one grandmother in peril. Imagine dropping all that money on an overseas trip and then having it just be cancelled out of your control. At least if he'd made the decision to cancel it,

it would be like, okay, it was my decision. I'm in control here. Yeah. But the fact that it was like just banned for him, oh, that would shit me off something chronic. Although he is honestly fine. Yeah. You know.

Coronavirus is the world's way of saying don't go, Petho. Yeah. I actually is honestly fine. Yeah. Coronavirus is the world's way of saying, don't go, Petho. I actually love Petho. I think Petho is possibly the only person in the office. I don't know why I'm saying all this while he's not here, but I reckon he's the only person in the office that I've never heard anyone bitch about. Me too.

He's just the best. He's the one that I like. I hate everyone else. Petho is genuinely, I said this to Hayden, I've said this to my parents, like I do my show at night and I do it on my own. And honestly, you know I have no team working for me. So sometimes I've got to do a million things at once. You've barely got you working for you. I know.

I know you like to say that I don't do anything, but I could not do my show without him. He helps me so much. I call him at midnight some nights being like, Hi Petho, I've accidentally deleted Stupid Love by Lady Gaga. How dare you? I know, I know. Someone requested that song last night and they used her real name,

Stephanie Georgian Shani or whatever it's called. Stephanie Joanne Angelina Germanotta. She was trying to be funny. I'm like, do you have a song request? She's like, yeah, can you play Stephanie Germanotta? And I was like, who? And then she said Gaga. I had a bit of a laugh.

Well, that's not fucking funny. Probably you. What are you doing over there? And then she said, Gaga. I had a bit of a laugh. Well, that's not fucking funny. Probably you. What are you doing over there? I just looped. Oh. I've just noticed that your panelling, sorry, clearly my inner calm's gone. I've just noticed your panelling's been so chaotic recently. What do you mean?

I just looped. Am I wrong? Because I feel like I've noticed in the opener, you've been like, writing the fader up, turning the volume up, and then turning the volume up and then turning it down and then turning it up. Is that, have you been doing that on purpose or am I imagining it? It's my new thing. Is it your new thing?

Yeah, I've been doing it. Do an example. Okay, so you have a good joke. Everyone just laughed. Yeah. And then Jenna said she actually likes Jonesy. She's on a pole and then you go down. Is that what you've been doing?

Because I've just noticed when I've listened back a couple of times, why does the music keep getting louder and quieter? Because sometimes when... Say something ridiculous, Jenna. You're dumb. Poor damn. Right. And then...

I see, so... It's for effect. I just feel like sometimes the comic timing's not there. I'm sorry to be a cunt. It's not right. Let me show you. Let me show you.

You're going to do it to me? Yeah. Okay. Move. Okay, I'm going to move it to me? Yeah. Okay. Move. I'm going to move to your desk. Don't pull me apart. I'll just listen back a couple of... Which one is it again? It's the one that's on and up. I think it's number two.

Oh, you use headphones like you're a DJ. You think you are Steve Aoki? So, here we are. I'm on the panel now. I just noticed a couple of times that you do it, it gets louder and quieter, but I think you miss the comic timing. So let's just say I'm telling a joke. This is what it should be.

Okay. Hey, guys, why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the other side. Whereas you go like this. When you do it, you're like, hey, guys, why did... the chicken cross the road? Ah, look at the other side! Hey guys, why did The chicken

Cross the road Ah, look at the sign And I'm like Why does it keep dropping in and out? Is there something wrong? Jenna, do you agree and be honest? Do I do that? You do Oh, then you fucking panel the show

Oh, I'm here now You can do the rest of the show from there Well, we're finished, so we're done You don't know how to activate live tweets or... All right, guys, that's all we've got time for. That's what I... You just sounded like me. Well, it finished.

Oh, then what is this? Piece of ridiculous. Anyway. Thanks so much for listening for another week. It's been a great show. Has it? He hasn't. It's been a good show.

It's been a tight show. 30 minutes tops. That's what it's meant to be. Very true. Pick up, Etho's good, isn't it? You've't. It's been a good show. It's been a tight show. 30 minutes tops. That's what it's meant to be. Very true. Pick up, Ethel's good, isn't it? You've left your phone unlocked here. What can I do? I'm trying to rap, dude.

You tweet from Lady Gaga. What is it? I've got her notification. I'm untalented. Hey. She's self-quarantining. Is she? Oh, she's got a massive fucking nose.

She'd breathe in coronavirus from Wilhan. Just once breathe in and she's got it. Got a big old nose. Okay, his mic's off. No more of that nonsense. See you in episode 20! I think this is episode 20. Is it?

I think so. Jenna's mic's off too, isn't it? Yeah, I just turned them all off except mine. It's how it should be. Thanks for listening, guys. We'll be back next week. See you next week, everyone! Bye-bye!

Is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment. I can't believe Petho leaked the secret segment. He mentioned it while he was in here. You know what? Is my mic on?

Yes. I've taken my earphones out in protest was in here. You know what? Is my mic on? Yes. I've taken my earphones out in protest. You know what? You can panel this. Sorry. Turn it on. I have something to say. Jen, are you on?

Hello. Anyway, ADD Brief is our secret segment. We hope to trick people out of listening because usually the first half of the show, like the actual show, is something that we put thought into and prepare and we're relatively, you know, we want people to listen.

But this part is completely rogue and unprepared and it's not our best work. So I try and trick people out of listening. But that show was probably the most rogue we've ever gone. There was a lot of emotion about my grandma. I talked about Neighbours. You didn't do an idjim. It was an anti-idjim. It was probably more entertaining than if I did bring one.

Yeah. I can't believe I genuinely... You know, I was at home playing a board game the other day, and I thought, this is my idjim. And it never once occurred to me that we've already done it. Yeah, I know, right? Isn't it weird what sticks in my mind and what doesn't? It is very odd.

Like, I remember so many niche memories. Like what? Like when you and I first met for the very first time, we were in an elevator. Oh, that's, I guess, a first impression. You remember a first impression. I remember once I dropped Jenna home because we both used to work on the night show Celeb HQ. I wasn't the host at the time. My status was low to the ground.

So I would actually talk to Jenna in the workplace. Nowadays, gosh, you don't want to be seen around in those circles. And I said to Jenna, oh, what are you doing? You know, she quivered. Oh, you need to get home. Take the bus. This in those circles. And I said to Jenna, oh, what are you doing? You know, she quivered. I need to get home. I've got to take the bus. This is so false. And I went, no.

And I went, Jenna, I'll drop you. Remember? I didn't catch the bus. You said, what were you going to do? Catch the train. Oh, really? Pull my story apart. See, your memory is shit.

You got the wrong public transport. Come on. And I dropped you home. And we had a great bonding session. And you lived in a mansion near the ocean, Vaucluse or something. Wrong. Where did you live?

Not in a mansion. It's a beautiful house. You've got gates out the front. Wrong. Don't know about that. You had a guard dog barking. Wrong. Like it was a flower power after midnight.

Graham doesn't know how to bark. Really? What have you, debarked it? Cruelty to animals. Anyway, Mitch, what are you doing over there? Not much. What about you? You haven't activated live tweets.

You've got to activate them. I refuse. There's no such thing. Well. I'm trying to maintain my inner calm, please. Okay. Can you teach us? Why don't we do another episode of guest yoga and see who wants to.

Guest yoga? Yeah, because last week. What do you mean another episode? Oh. Linda Buttrose was our mentor last week, and this week maybe it's... I think that was a few weeks ago, but your memory, it's fine. Maybe it's Zipporah Zipporah this week.

How do I find... Okay, so anyone who's new here, this is exactly the sort of thing I'm talking about when I say we go rogue and I'm not proud of it. We ended up somehow doing an impression of what it would be like if Ida Buttrose was the voiceover for a meditation app. I don't.

No, you know where it came from. My memory, again, weird how I remember this. I saw her at Mardi Gras, tunnel vision, directly on Ida Buttrose's wig. And I looked at you and said, there's Ida. And then we just went down that garden path. Here we go. Is this it? Yeah.

No, that's not the same music. It's very similar. It should be on our wall. Oh. Is this our wall? Yoga music. Oh, it is too. Yeah, that's not the same music. It's very similar. It should be on our wall. Oh. Is this our wall? Yoga music. Oh, it is too. Yeah, there you go.

Yoga music. I searched meditation. My error. It's yoga. My error. Should I? Give us someone. I can't do impressions though.

Mitch is great at impressions. I can't. Who do you want me to do this week? What about? Is it as fun if we plan it? I feel like it was only fun because it was spontaneous. Well, give it a go. All right.

It's like that time we did jingles and we had to do ads and they were very funny. Then we tried it was only fun because it was spontaneous. Well, give it a go. You're right. It's like that time we did jingles and we had to do ads and they were very funny then we tried to do it again and they were awful. Where's the bloody yoga music? It's not on your wall. Just search yoga music

and you'll get it. Oh, you said it was on the wall. Who can we do, Jenna? Sarah Harris? No, someone with a unique voice. Yeah. Ida Buttrose's lisp. Really stands out. I'm Ida Buttrose. I'm Ida Buttrose's lisp really stands out.

I'm Ida Buttrose. I'm Ida Buttrose. Okay. There's a few here. During the current coronavirus crisis I'm wearing poise pads. You can buy them

exclusively at Prithvine. Yeah, this is it. This is it. A rattlesnake at the start. Tracy Grimshaw. Tonight, no, I can't. What would she say in a meditation? Sandra Sully.

Oh, God. Good evening, tonight. Workplace stress playing on your mind. Is that guy ever going to text you back or are you kidding yourself? All that still to come and still to escape your brain. I'm Sandra Sully. Welcome to this meditation. Now, we begin our meditation.

Oh, God, I don't even know what she said. Follow my Instagram at shortblack. That's what it's called. I always, every time Sandra Sully posts something on Instagram, because of course I follow her, I think, who the fuck is shortblack? I click through and I go, oh, Sandra Sully. Because it's never of herself. No, ever. It's always like dogs and I don't know.

Also, is that her coffee order? She's not even a black woman and she's short. It's the name of her podcast. Is it? Yeah. God, she's smart. I'd love to get her on as a guest. Well, make it happen, dude.

What do you think? I'm receiving reports that you're struggling to sleep. We cross live now to this meditation in order to lull you there. Let's begin with breathing in. Thank you. Now we begin with breathing in. Thank you. Now we begin with breathing out. And for our next inhale, we cross live to Tim Bailey. Tim.

Hey, Sandra, I'm out here at Coogee Beach. It is suddenly coming through. Sunshine tomorrow. Sunny, sunny, sunny. Bright skies and blue suns across the country. Tim Bailey, live from the chopper. Back to you, Sandra. sunny, sunny, bright skies and blue suns across the country. Tim Bailey live from the chopper. Back to you, Sandra. Thanks, Tim.

Now we're having some intrusive, deep self-doubt trickling through. I don't really know where to go from there. Oh, my God. Tim Bailey needs to calm down. For those who aren't in Sydney, Tim Bailey is like this pint-sized weatherman that used to be out on the road all the time, but now he's just got the Daily Bailey weather wall or some shit. He's always in studio.

I'm like, oh, it's more fun when he's at school and shit. He's scorched by the sun. He looks like a date. Can you Google Tim Bailey loses it on X? Go to the web. Do you know how to do that? Yes. Up the web, Faber.

Web, Faber. Up the web, Faber. I went to afters. Have you seen him lose it? It's so funny Tim Bailey lose it Where are you going Trying to find a pair Of headphones to use

Do you just want to sit back here I'm over it Yeah You do it He buckled Under the pressure There's no pressure It's not the other way

Really Yeah I'm much better at it anyway And I prefer To do it so And thank god That you're back Because I can finally It's anyway, and I prefer to do it. And thank God that you're back, because I can finally... It's under the desk, the button to do it. Oh, no.

It's under the desk. Oh, no. Officially, live tweets are active, which is quite late in the show for us to do it. Oh, here we go. The influx is coming through, because we haven't been doing it. Oh, my God. Stop, stop, stop.

There we go. Oh, who's. Stop, stop, stop. There we go. Oh, who's that? We should go, guys. No, we shouldn't. I think that's a good idea. I'm getting Tim Bailey freaks out on the air. All right. I love how you Googled Tim Bailey loses it.

That's what you told me to look up. Yeah, you said that. Word for word. I don't think I said that. Hey, can you turn me up? Because I turned you down when you were on this mic. Did you? Because you're louder. There you't think I said that. Hey, can you turn me up? Because I turned you down when you were on this mic. Did you? Because you're louder.

There you go. Here we go. We did television bloopers, and that was one of our most viewed videos. And poor Lee. Remember, Lee didn't get the IGA voucher. Oh, yeah. We should do some more. Just brainstorming on the air.

You know how I said that the show we did the other week with Witch Mitch was our worst show? Yeah. I think this might have eclipsed it. Really? I don't think so. Oh, what's that? The timer that says we've gone on too long.

Okay, well, it's been a pleasure. Are we going to hear the... I can't find it. Oh, that's mine. Sorry. I didn't set one. I'm going to keep going. I've had to start.

I've started setting timers to say how long it's been. Like, so when we should wrap the show, because we always go over and then I have to cut certain things to make it the right length. Because as Petho pointed out quite rightly, it was too long that week that I couldn't edit. Oh, you're such a narc. I agree with you. What do you mean I'm such a narc? Oh, shut up. Such a narc.

Why am I a narc? I don't get it. Oh, because we're just going on. We're having a bit of fun. People love it. If people don't want to listen, they can turn off. Am I right, guys? Send us a tweet if you're listening live and you want us to keep going.

Yeah, but I also think that it's just like, it's taking the piss putting this out in the world and being like, here you go. This is what we have to offer. Yeah, you're probably right. It's not good content. Yeah, you're probably right. Well, I started the show with the purge siren and it's officially over. Purge is done.

Okay. How would you go in the purge? I reckon you'd be great. Someone would come at you with a gun. You'd be like, no, no, no, no, not me, darling. Someone's in the house next door. You take them. I'm in the bath.

It's the purge. It's that movie where it's for 24 hours that no laws, including murder, apply. So people just go around killing people and stuff. Jenna would be fucking in that element. Oh, my God. That's Jenna's Christmas. Bring it on. Would you, what would you, would your tactic be to hide

or would you just hunt? Would you go kill? I'd kill you. You would not. I don't have anyone that I dislike enough that I need to kill them. I reckon I'd just find a sick hiding spot and just outwit everyone. Outwit? You know, like outsmart them.

Yeah, I know. I just thought that was quite funny. Well, you know, I'm renowned for my wit. You are. Spelled with a double I, of course, because of my workplace. W-I-I-T. All right, guys. Well, before we go,

Jenna told me before the show started that she had something she wanted to tell us. So, Jenna, you've got the stage. Make the announcement. I never said that.

Jenna? I never said that. Well, I'll tell you. I saw Jenna in the bathroom taking a pregnancy test. So, you were in the female bathroom? Yes, I was looking through. The male was blocked up. So, I used the female bathroom? Yes, I was looking through. The male was blocked up, so I used the girls.

Also because the cubicle stores are wider and I need the extra width. Why would they be wider in the girls' room? For the hips, for birthing. For all the people that give birth in the radio station bathroom. And I walked in and all I could hear was this. And I thought, I know that sound from all the girls that I've knocked up. That's a pregnancy stick. Libby!

So I look over the cubicle. I see Jenna squatting. You looked over the cubicle? And she said, please don't tell Mitch. Let me announce to him on the show. And I said, go for it. So Jenna, now's your time. Tell him.

Yeah, you made up that whole story? You're not pregnant? Never happened. Okay, there you go. Well, now's your time. Tell him. Yeah, you made up that whole story. You're not pregnant? Never happened. Okay, there you go. Well, let's get out of here. That's the opener. Sorry, what a mess.

Oh, we have fun here, don't we? Why am I even here? If you were pregnant, would you announce it on this show? No. Your mum would kill you. No, she wouldn't. Yes, she would. No, she wouldn't. she's got tigger to look

after it's tiger now i'd like to propose something to you mitchell this is actually i know that we keep our idioms secret from each other until the day yeah but you were just talking about jenna being pregnant and stuff and i thought of an idiom on the fly, but it does require some homework from both of us. Okay. I was going to say, is it just me or do the titles of pornography seem perfectly normal in the moment, but then in hindsight, when you think back, you think, why did I click on that? That is fucked up. Why would I click on that? Yeah.

So your homework is to take note of the titles of porns that you watch. Okay. All right. That really is an insight into what you're into isn't it i just thought of it because one of them that i clicked on the other day was it was like me getting my girl it was a straight couple yeah me getting my girlfriend pregnant and i was like i'm gonna watch this obviously it's just the title yeah it's just two people fucking it's no different to any other porno but for some reason that title made it more intriguing and i was like what's wrong with my brain i clicked on that also it's just the title. It's just two people fucking. It's no different to any other porno, but for some reason that title made it more intriguing. And I was like, what's wrong with my brain? So I clicked on that.

Also, it's always after you, you know, like, finish. And I don't know if it's you, but I've got like maybe six tabs going and then I have to delete my tab one by one. And I'm like, I was mentally wanting to watch that. That was like next up in my queue. Like, why was I going to and you're like oh god do you do that so i scroll through the feed and i go open a new tab open a new tab

open a new tab yeah and then once i'm like 10 seconds through i go no this isn't doing anything so i go to the next one yeah yeah i do that too it's been a real problem with the internet at the moment too why because i don't know why i think that i don't know if it's got anything to do with the bloody everyone working from home nice sleeping i don't know if it's got anything to do with that but i feel like the internet's been really shit in the last week with all the pandemic everyone's working from home so the grid's yeah that nbn's being tested jenna i don't know why i pointed that towards you as if you invented it can you think of in the moment a porn a weird one that you've watched oh the ones that always freak me out are the daddy ones.

I don't like the daddy, but it's like daddy does this to... Yuck. Like, it's creepy. Okay, maybe I won't use this as an idiom, because we may as well just talk about it now. But I remember seeing there was a video, and then I scrolled a bit further, and the exact same video appeared,

but they changed it from like just two normal people to like stepfather or something like that. And I was like, yeah. And I was talking to one of the girls I do Schneider committee with about this and they were like, yeah, what is it about? Like there's nothing, nothing in the actual video that alludes to the fact that they are you know stepfather stepdaughter stepson whatever there's nothing in the video that alludes to that they're them having a step relationship

but something about that being the title gets you going why is that more intriguing if there's like oh that's maybe all it needs is a simple setup line at the start like thanks mate i know it's hard on you but me i really love your mum anyway bend over like what what could they say at the start to set that up mate i know your dad normally drives you to baseball but i'll do it today also pants off i'm just saying you know what i reckon the actors don't even i don't think i could possibly talk about i changed my mind i'm not talking about this in the main show. Why? Because it's too much.

And yet, like, I'm hoping to trick people out of listening to this, including family members. They don't need to know about what porn I'm watching. Your families don't listen to this, do they? They do. They don't get this far. I don't know. What's your sister?

Congratulations. Pregnant or something? What? Didn't something happen? No. She put an announcement on Facebook and I congratulated her. Her baby got its christening or something? No.

I swear, did she name the baby? When it was born? Something happened with your sister. She's got a three-year-old and a one-year-old. They're both named. Did it say its first words? No. Shit.

What were we talking about? Jenna, do you remember? Before the porn? No, it was the porn. Oh, of course. And then I then i said oh i hope that my i can't talk about this in the main show oh well then let's talk about about it now i don't search anything in porn you know what i do i go to the category that i like which is you know what it's not heterosexual and um i just scroll until i find something and i go by thumbnail also porn set the

standard you know on on youtube when you like go over a thumbnail and it starts playing but you haven't clicked it yet so it sort of shows you highlights porn led the charge on that yeah it did porn was doing that years ago when you have no preview available i'm like what do you mean yeah bullshit yeah that's you're asking me to invest a lot of trust in this video i'm not. By one still image. Please. Someone porking someone else. Anyway, Jenna, what sort of porn do you like? Yeah. Oh, I'm too busy. Hmm.

Please. You're never too busy for a bit of... Bit of fun. Especially during the whole quarantine. Jesus Christ, I thought my thing was going to fall off last Thursday. Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm just joking.

Actually, no. I haven't been too busy. So, other than step-s sons and stepfathers and etc what what titles have you felt guilty for clicking on i always feel guilty when i click on an amateur one because i'm like maybe they didn't want this out there you know they seem like a lovely couple like no i think they make them look amateur on purpose because some people prefer that really i think that must be where i go because i watch it and then I'm like, maybe he's doing it without the consent of the partner.

But then they always look at the camera and do things like, nah. Yeah. You know what I mean? You can always tell when it's a production company behind the amateur ones because then they look at the camera and they say buzzwords like, you know, film me. No one says that. No one. It's like they're reading cards off the camera.

Yeah. Like Ellen doing a give back. It's reading cue cards. I, like, amateur. What else is there? Nothing really irks me. It's always the brother thing. A lot of gay porn is always like, my stepbrother after school.

What is it about that? Like, it's just two people. It's not, they're not actually, they never allude to the fact that, oh, yeah, you're my brother. Yeah, one's always black and the other one's white. Do you know what I think it is? I think it's, you know how some people get that thrill out of doing things in public, like, you know, sex in a park or like some people I know, like female friends of mine have said that they love if they're on a bus, they'll just do a sneaky like fiddle, a little

bit of. You're kidding. They'll like do a little bit of, they'll rub one out through the pants to themselves yeah yes they'll rub one out through their pants because and it's that thrill of i'm not supposed to be doing this this isn't supposed to be happening that that's that's what is the turn on and to be honest i kind of get it but um i kind of have you ever done anything publicly with a person no really i definitely wouldn't be against it anyway um interesting so um it's the it's the it's the whole factor of this isn't meant to be happening and you know it's wrong i think that's why people click on those videos where it's like oh you know

fucking siblings you know the ones that get me and i often click on it but i never make it to them they're always like ninth in the tabs it It's like Mormon pastor teaches biblical, you know, student a lesson. No, Mormon boys is one of my favourites. Is it really? The O-Y-Z. Yeah, they wear the Hessian cloths. No, I don't like the one where it's the pastor, like their senior leader. But if it's like the dorm mates, you know.

Yeah, no, I know what you mean. The dorm mates. Do you think we should play like a warning? For what? It's a sexy chat. It's happened already. I just said I like Mormon Boy. That's my favourite Pornhub channel.

Well, not my favourite. Very true. Jenna, what about you? I answered already. This is a test of the CBD. Sorry, I thought that was going to be a warning thing. So, Jenna, surely you you? I answered already. This is a test of the CBD. Sorry, I thought that was going to be a warning thing. So, Jenna, surely you watch, though? No.

Have you ever? Probably. Have you seen Two Girls, One Cup? Oh, that's inappropriate. Can we make Jenna watch Two Girls, One Cup for the first time? I would never do that to you, Jenna. Jenna, I think you should. Listen, you bailed out on getting Hayden's reaction

to Miley's cancellation last week. Give me something. Well, we've got Maggie on the line. Maggie, you watch Stepdaddy Porn. Did you enjoy it? Talk to me. Yeah, it was so amazing. It was incredible. There you go. So she's into it. Wow.

What about Grace? Grace, you and your boyfriend watch Mormon porn as well. Talk to me about the vibe. How do you all enjoy watching it? Yeah, a couple of times. Everyone loves that. There you go. Everyone.

They watch it a couple of times. I'm trying to find it. Sorry. That's fine. For anyone who doesn't know, Two Girls, One Cup is like the most, like everyone in high school, it's something that people would watch. It's like the most infamous porno ever because it's just, you can't even describe what's happening.

I don't want to watch it. Could you describe? I'm not, I didn't say you're going to watch it. It's not all about you, darling. It's my show, just as much as it is yours. I'm making Jenna watch it. Keep up. Are you really wanting to watch this, Jenna? Yeah, I want to know what it is. We I'm making Jenna watch it. Keep up. Are you really wanting

to watch this, Jenna? Yeah, I want to know what it is. We've got Lucy. Lucy, you watched it last week for the first time. Did you like it? It's fucking nasty.

Yeah, it was so amazing. It was incredible. She liked it, so. How do you find it? I used to watch, my friends were like, Google meat spin. Oh, nice.

And I'd Google it and it was a man swinging his penis around and the X to exit the webpage would bounce around the screen. So me with my little prepubescent mouse was like, I'm quick enough and I could never get it. So I just reboot the whole computer.

And the song was, you spin me right round, baby. Then I finally erased it from my memory. Then I watched The Hangover movie and that song played in the credits and all I could think of was giant swinging dick. I just wanted to enjoy the movie. Zach Galifianakis' comedy, but no. Swinging dick. What can you do?

Mitch is still looking for Two Girls, One Cup. Can I buzz out to the straight guys in the office? They might know. Yeah, if you just hit producer on your machine. Really? I've had this option to be like the loudspeaker in school this whole time. Yep. Gentlemen,

where would I find two girls, one cup? It's important. They're busy working on Kiss. Don't laugh, I'm serious. YouTube, Brad's saying. Oh, bullshit. Keep your working, Brad. In the meantime, you search for that.

We're going to go to the phones. All right, Jenna, get the prize wheel. We'll give away some prizes. Haven't done this in a while. Okay. All right, we've got Lee in Asakana, which is on the North Coast. Lee is ready to play. We've got prizes for you.

It's going to be fun. So, Lee, give it a spin. There you go. Jenna's spinning it for you. Oh, my God. Six, seven, eight, nine. And it's on ten. Jenna, tell Lee what she's won.

Oh, wow, this is a good one. Yeah. A roll of reusable toilet paper. Oh, well done, Lee. Yes. Congratulations. How is it reusable, Jenna? They're just cloths.

Like sheets of cloth. Yes. Okay, fantastic. We're going to go to Bruce in Baradun. Bruce, get rid of spin buddy. Jenna, give him a spin. Well done, Jenna. Oh, sorry, the music.

Number three, Jenna, what has he won? Oh, my God, this is a, sorry, the music. Number three, Jenna. What has you won? Oh, my God. This is a really good one. Yeah. A trip to London, which has been cancelled. Brilliant. Well done.

That's great. So technically you've won nothing there, buddy, but thanks for calling. All right, let's do one more. Let's go to Lucinda. Just Noosa. Nowhere. No, no. In an interesting suburb.

She's just in Noosa. I'll give the wheel a spin. Yep, go forosa. Nowhere. No, no. In an interesting suburb, she's just in Noosa. I'll give the wheel a spin. Yep, go for her. There we go. Oh, my God. I've had safe search on this whole time. Oh, shit. Hold on quickly.

What's Lucinda one? A hamster wearing high heels. Oh, my God. On all four feet or just the... All four. So not the bottom two. Oh, my God. How easy was it to find now that I don't have Safe Search on?

I'm even on the office Wi-Fi. Oh, Mitch, no. I don't give a shit. What's Safe Search? It's literally what it sounds like. It's what you'd put on your computer so your kids can't accidentally find something filthy. Okay, this is definitely it. Mitch, turn this shit off, please.

I don't want to do it. You're not watching it. Is Jenna? Jenna, can we get your verbal consent? Yeah. She's already done that. No, she hasn't. Do you not think it's a good idea?

We don't have to. I think it's a good idea. I want to see what you're talking about. No, because he's really advising against it. I'm just a bit of a prude when it comes to this stuff, but if Jenna wants to do it, she can do it. You just talked about watching stepfathers bang their stepfathers. No!

Now you're too prudish. Okay. Pausing girls enjoy their own bodily fluids. Show Jenna. Let's go. Alright. Okay. Let's do it. Here you go. Jenna. Oh, goodness me. I feel very uncomfortable.

Alright. You ready for it? Yes. Wait! I've got to film this. our instagram at couple of mitches someone help her she's reaching like dry reaching what's this music she's crying jenna's now crying oh what's happening mitch what part is it up to

What's happening, Mitch? What part is it up to? This music sounds like the Sims loading music. Jenna's crying. Oh, what is this music? Sounds like they're in the Pokemon Center. Stop it. This is cruel.

Get rid of it. That's enough. Okay. No, no more of this. Yuck! Are you okay, Jenna? Why don't you explain what those two girls did? One of them pooed and they ate it and vomited into each other's mouth.

Yeah, that's it in a nutshell. Yeah, they really summed that up, didn't they? Two girls, one cup, full of, like, not very high fibre dump with some runny. And then they started drinking and then spitting into each other's mouths and then they started making each other vomit into each other. It's revolting. I didn't expect that. What did you think was going to happen? They're going to share a glass of iced water?

No, I thought they were doing something with a cup. Having a pashyona with a girl. She thought they were just about to... She'd start the video and then you'd hear... I thought it was the cup song. Poor little JJ. No, definitely not. That's fecal matter.

We should definitely go. I have played this show closer four times in this show. I feel sick. Jenna, you need a better Dean on the eyeballs and we need to assess our lives, Mitch. Why do we need to assess our lives? Because we did a lot of dirty talk this episode. People want it.

Remember we asked on episode three, we were very keen to get sexy. And we asked, if you want an X-rated version of the show, DM us. Oh, that's right. And we got a lot of DMs asking for it. Why do we never do that? I don't know. I think it was a bit creepy. It's a bit forced to be like, hello, guys.

Welcome to the show. We've set aside some time to talk about our sex life. No, that's what the Sydney gays did. Also, that was very much like Witch Mitch, which wasn't crafted right, which Jenna takes full credit for. Oh, no, I do not. But that was sort of just a compliment sesh, which I'm not into. I was thinking about that afterwards, because anyone who didn't listen to episode 18, I

think it was, we did Witch Mitch, anonymous compliments. We have to guess which Mitch it applies to. And it tanked because all the compliments, it was really obvious who they applied to. There was no mystery or debate. Yeah. And we were, like, joking, blaming Jenna. And then I realised that Jenna doesn't have the password to our Instagram,

so she had to get these messages somehow. Episode 20 next week, ladies and gents. It was you, wasn't it? We will see you then. It's going to be a big week. We really need to wrap up. We've been going on for almost two hours. You're a radio professional and you let that happen.

Let me tell you the truth. Matt, you obviously haven't listened to my show at night because it's a train wreck. It's true. He sent me all the messages. All right, we'll see you later, everyone. See you next week. Chat then. Is it just me?

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