Is It Just Me? - #202: Totally

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

In this episode: Update on our “Coke Land” investigation (04:02) Is it nosy to ask “Whose funeral is it?” (09:27) Do NOT trust Churi with tasks (13:36) The word Churi keeps saying REPEATEDLY (18:18) Why Coombs will NEVER be designated driver again (27:03) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (38:40)   Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you. Hello you. Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Would you rather sit on a cake and eat a dick or sit on a dick and eat a cake? Sit on a dick and eat a cake, absolutely. If you sit on a cake you ruin it.

Do you think I'd ever waste a cake by sitting on it? Now here's Mitch Chooy and Mitchell Coombs. Hello you. Hello you. Oh my goodness, how are you Mitchell? I'm in a bit of a fucking tizz today. Why is that? I'm all cold and slewy.

I'm confused. Our new studio is still not user friendly. Everything's fucking up. Nothing works. Fuck off. Oh dear. It's frozen. The screens are frozen.

Is Reaper still going? Yep. Not responding, it's saying. Fuck off. Oh dear. It's frozen. The screens are frozen. Is Reaper still going? Yeah. Not responding, it's saying. Fuck my life. Like, truly, you'd think a multi-million dollar podcast conglomerate could put together a podcast studio, but no, nothing does work. Normally, I would cope just fine. I'd be like, okay, let's problem solve, but I'm very delirious today. This could be a cooked episode for me.

What's wrong with you? Are you sick or do you feel like the early starts of something? No. How fucked is this? I've had this same sickness three times in the last two months. I'm like, oh God, I've got a cold and flu. That's going to hang around for ages. And then three days later, it's gone.

And then it came back a second time. I was like, oh, here we go. Round two. Go on after a couple of days. Have you gone and had your bloods? Round three. Here we are. It just keeps reappearing.

Get a blood test or something. But it doesn't want to commit to me. Yeah, no. You're in a situation. I'm being rejected by germs. Oh, you poor thing. I got my flu shot, I said on Monday. I'm still feeling a little, like I'm just achy and tired.

Oh, is that a side effect of it? I don't know. Apparently it's literally my first flu shot. Pricekeeper Jenna might have more. First? Hello. Yeah, I've never had one. Oh. I didn't realise that part. Yeah? Yeah, I've never had one. Oh.

I didn't realize that part. Yeah, and I said that last time. I've never had a flu shot in my life. I feel like they inject some of the flu components into you. That's why you get it. She told me it's the dead flu. Yeah. They put a dead version of the flu.

They put the dead flu in there. What does that even mean? Because your body recognizes what the cells are, but it's not active, so it can't make you sick. But your body's like, oh, I know what this sort of, it's like a recipe. Oh, I know how to beat that. I see. I think.

I mean, I'm no scientist. I'm just a very handsome hammer pocket. No one's ever accused you of being a scientist. That's what people often say. Oh, well, you don't look, you look good. You don't look sick. Thank you. Oh, you poor thing.

It's like when your mum's sick. You know what? Is it on the fly? Is there nothing worse than when your mum's sick? Yeah. I know, because typically mums do a lot of dithering and looking after you when you're sick. Yes. But who does it for them?

It's the worst feeling in the world because they also go, don't fuss over me. Just put the kettle on. Is it just me on the fly? Was your dad ever a bit hypocritical? He would guilt trip us and say, your mother has been slaving away in the kitchen. Go and help her with the dishes. It's the least you could do. And I'm like, what are you doing to help?

Yes, yes. You're not helping either. Dad would always do the same thing. But I guess like he's breadwinning, right? Well, in my situation anyway. I don't know about yours. I suppose. That's like his contribution to the family.

Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah, but he can still help about. That's true, Janet. But I'm a child. I didn't ask to be born. Did you help your mum or did your staff help your mum when she was ill? I didn't have staff. You did.

Well, you do now, currently. Jeeves left. Jeeves left. Oh, when you left the American Service Suite. Mysterious circumstances. Yes. Yeah, you had a... Remember you had that break and enter?

Yeah, yeah. And you saw the robber? No, Connie did. Oh, Connie saw the robber. Yes. Yes. And the CCTV. And then you went to federal? No, Connie did. Oh, Connie saw the robber. Yes. And the CCTV. And then you went to federal court.

You live a fucked life. Yeah, I went to tribunal. Jenna went to tribunal. Yeah. It's been a lot. It's ridiculous. I've got all sorts of wild stories like that. They just haven't come up on the podcast.

Because you know how usually there has to be something relevant. And you go, oh, well, that reminds me of one time that this happened. Yeah, you can't just bring it up. I've got so many cook stories of things that have happened to me. Well, then why don't you tell us in this episode, give us a fuck story that you don't need a segue to start and something that we've never heard before. Mitchell's Fable. It could be Mitchell's Fable.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I can do that. Yeah. I mean, that might come in handy because we did promise an investigation in this episode into Coke Land. Yes, we did indeed. Which is this mysterious floor in our new office building that Cheery has promised. He hyped it up by saying, oh my God, there's a floor that's open to everyone and they can get as much free Coke as they like.

And then we decided to investigate this episode. Correct. The investigation has happened. I think, yep, it did. Should we just tell them now? Well, can I just say something? I think you've said enough. I'm very embarrassed.

Well, that's the other thing because Jenna has been asking around, what's this Coke land that I keep hearing about? And everyone's scratching their head going, what? Yeah. Okay. But Cheery swears that it's a thing in this building. Let me give context. We are broadcasting out of the Coca-Cola building.

They own this building. They've got the neon on the roof. You can see it from kilometres away. And there's a few levels on this. It's like 20 levels in this building. There's a few levels that are owned by Coke, and they have stock and neon lights, and it's Coke land. I've been there, and it's Coke land.

But we went in today. Why don't you tell the audience what you saw? Well, we were trying to settle once and for all, is it a thing? Did you imagine it? Is it real? You wanted to prove to us, yeah, Coke land is a thing. It's a theme park, yeah.

And we went to the trouble before recording this episode of rigging up the fucking portable mics. We all went down there like journalists. We got permission. We said we're coming down to record. Even though we probably don't need permission because according to you, anyone can go there anytime and drink as much Coke as they like. It's we're coming down to record. Even though we probably don't need permission because, according to you, anyone can go there any time and drink as much coke as they like.

It's not like Wet n' Wild. Well, you said if you have access to other levels of this building, you can go in. That's what I'd heard. You also said there's a cafeteria. I thought you said you'd been, though. I had been. Okay, so basically the investigation was we went down there.

They saw us with mics and were like, what are you doing? No, that can't happen. They swooped on us. So they, yeah, they swooped on us like fucking flies on shit, let me tell you. It was shut down real quick and the reason is because it's not open to the public. No.

And they kind of gave us a pity Coca-Cola, like, I guess you can take one bottle, but no, you can't just go down there and drink as much as you like at any time during the day. It's not a Coke theme park, it's a corporate office. It's literally their reception building. It's the same as if we went to Muffin Break HQ and they had just Muffin Break muffins for the staff.

You have a habit of this. It'd be like you going to Donna Hayes' corporate office and saying, I want a cookie. You did that. And she was like, what the fuck? This isn't a shop front. She told me to get fucked. It'd be like us walking into- Us going to the Baker's Delight HQ and going, give us a cheesy might scroll with live mics.

A finger bun. And them going, we're not bakers, we're corporate. It's mortifying and I apologize, Coke Land doesn't exist. So I want to say thank you to the Coke team. They were very hospitable, very warm. Yes. But they did say, please, we don't really want to be involved. They shut it down.

They had no idea what we were talking about. But they did give us an unreleased flavor of Coke. I don't want to say it in case, but let me just tell you. It's delicious. So now that that segment went tits up, maybe that's what I can do today instead. Should I just do Mitchell's Fable? Yeah. Yeah.

Because I look like an absolute idiot around here now. Because Jen has been saying, what's this Coke land I keep hearing about that Cherries promised me exists? And everyone's like, we don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I told Amanda Keller. I didn't make it up, guys. I was told it by other staff members. But then you said you'd been there and seen it with your own eyes. Yeah, but listen, listen.

Guys, come on. I'm very well known around these parts. They gave me a different treatment. They went, well, I'm going to take as much as you want, whatever you want. Guys, come on. I'm very well known around these parts. They gave me a different treatment. They went, well, I'm going to take as much as you want, whatever you want. Hey, we love you on the pickup. Right, okay. You know, they gave me, they kind of handled it up for me.

Well, it was a very different treatment today. I know, I was mortified. They didn't use these words, but the sentiment was, get out. You know, they're office. Very nice, but they just, it's an office. It's like us walking into, Sorry, no more analogies. It'd be like... Nah, can't do it. Let's end it. So Mitch's fable on the show today. Oh, and also... Oh, now I'm nervous

because I don't know if they're that good. And also, maybe I have told them and I've just forgotten, but whatever. I'll give it a roll. On the show today, don't forget... Trust me, it'll be better than what we experienced at Coakland. Journalism. Mitch's fable and Mitch's crutch on the show today. Oh, yes.

So I've noticed a word that you keep saying repeatedly. It's just something I've noticed. Yep. You've been obsessed with my crutch since the day we met. That's true. And now you're finally getting to expose it to the public. Well, it's hard to ignore. It really is, isn't it?

It is. We'll get to that, but we should kick off with the is it just me's as we always do. Yes. Every show starts the same with two Is It Just Me's. Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't. No, not mine. I do not.

No, Mitch's. We don't? No. We learn on the fly when we're happening live. So my idjim today, I need to preface it, much like what's coming up later, the crutch. I need to preface that it's not me calling you out. I swear. Yeah.

I swear. That's fine. That's fine. Wait. Oh, God. Okay. Mine is something that I hate. Okay. I've been given too much control over something, and I feel like it's a mistake only a new

friend would make. A new friend in my life has trusted me to do something, and I've really fucked up. But you two know me so well that you would never have given me this much responsibility in the first place. That's true. Yeah, but when I tell you you're going to – Like organising an excursion to Cochrane. Yeah.

I should never have trusted that that was going to happen. Good analogy, yeah. Good analogy. All right, do you want to go first? Yeah, okay, I'll kick things off. Again, not an attack. That's fine. Okay.

Is it just me or? Is it normal when someone tells you they're going to a funeral to ask, oh, whose is it? No, I don't think so. Really? I feel like if you're close to that person. It's very invasive. Because now I feel a bit awkward because I've probably asked that question many times. That's my instinct.

If someone says, yeah, I've got a funeral on the weekend, I'll go, oh, sorry to hear that. Who's funeral? To be honest, if I- Are you not supposed to do that? No, I find that nosy. If I was going to a funeral and somebody asked me that, I personally wouldn't mind. Fuck. Maybe I'm just nosy.

No, because the way I see it is, if it's someone that I really needed to know about, I would know who died. Like, I would know. I know you. Like, this is because you're going to a funeral, Mitchell. Yes. This is how it came about, because I said to you guys, oh, I've got to go to a funeral on the day that we would normally record the podcast. Can we do it another day?

Because I've got to go to a funeral. Yes. And neither of you asked whose funeral it was. And I was like, that's interesting. But then it's happened many times. Everyone I've mentioned it to, I've had to rearrange my schedule, pull out of a lot of things because I have to go to a fucking funeral. No one's asked.

And I was like, am I just fucking nosy? Because I would be like, oh, fuck, who's dead? Who's dead? Yeah. No, that's a question. Who is it? Who's died? Don't ask me now.

Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. I won't say the name. It was just like our next door neighbours in Bogengate. Their oldest son died and I was friends with him growing up. Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, that's really sad. And so no one's asked.

It's happened about six or seven times. I'm like, oh, fuck, are you not supposed to? Well, I did send condolences. I said, I hope you're all right. Yeah, yeah. You said, oh, sorry about that. Yeah. And to your credit, no, we couldn't rearrange the day we were recording.

I'm supposed to be on the road right now driving to said funeral. Yeah. But. I had a lunch at El Camino, Canada. Yes. But to your credit, you did offer to come in extra early in the morning today. I did. Very early.

So that I could then drive to fucking Bogengate after the podcast. Correct. Which, it's not lost on me, that would have been a huge fucking inconvenience having to get up early after night shift. That's very sweet, thank you. And then stick around here all day and do another night shift. Correct. But I didn't take you up on the offer because is it just me on the fly?

Do you hate rushing? Oh my god. I could not think of anything worse than trying to rush through this podcast with a studio that doesn't work. Sometimes we do rush. And then having to fucking drive seven hours to Bogengate. No way. No, it's awful.

It's awful. Is this seven hours? Well, I allow seven for piss breaks. Oh, with your bladder, the size of your pee bladder. Yeah. It's meant to be like five or six. Okay. Well, listen, a lot of discussion topics here.

I think that, no, you don't ask someone who's died unless, I don't know. Well, I've got some apologies to make then. I think you might. There might be part of people's brains that thinks, I don't want to get into it. I'll just say sorry for your loss. I don't want to fucking hear the whole story. Yeah, totally. I haven't been, touch wood, to a funeral in a while.

I've actually been to a few recently. Have you really? Oh, too many. Oh, God. Do you want to list them all? Is that what you want me to ask? No. Do you want to get a pen and paper out?

Would you like me to? No, please don't. No. But I was like, I'm not rushing back because that just sounds like a nightmare. I would actually rather wake up early as fuck tomorrow and just drive there in time for the funeral because it's in the afternoon. Arvo funeral? That's what I was thinking.

Interesting. But not a problem as it turns out. The funeral's been postponed. Has it? Yes, because they haven't given the body back yet. Oh. Did you know this? How fucked is this?

Apparently there's like quite a backlog of, what are they called? Autopsies? Autopsies. Apparently there's quite a backlog. Oh God, that's horrific. And so they're like, we can't have a funeral and bury nothing. Well, do you remember during COVID, you just weren't allowed to have funerals for people? Like that is horrific.

And everyone was dying. Yeah. God, that's remember during COVID, you just weren't allowed to have funerals for people? That is horrific and everyone was dying. God, that's bad. What a grim time. I remember my grandma died during COVID and only like three people could go. Fuck that. Did you have to watch a Zoom funeral? They didn't have it even on Zoom. Well, anyway, sorry to kick things off on a cheery note, but at least I know now

that I'm a nosy bitch and I shouldn't be asking who died. Oh, God. Yeah. Now, maybe just don't ask. Yeah. Because I noticed that no one did. I was like, fuck, is that the norm?

Whoops. That's how it works. But condolences. Thanks. All right. Shall I do my agent? Yeah. All right.

Hit me. Is it just me or? Should I not be given any power or responsibility at all in my life? Yes. Yeah? Yes. Yes, I knew you guys. Moving on. I know you would agree because as you know, Brittany Hockley, a friend of mine, I co-host the pick up with her on The Kiss.

She was in the I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here jungle in Africa. And how it works is when you go to Africa, you need to nominate someone to run your social media. Oh, yeah. I remember you telling me that you were her social media person. Yeah. What? Yes.

She said to me, do you want to house-sit my house? And I'm living with mum and dad. And I was like, I'd love to. She's got this beautiful place in Bondi. And she's like, awesome. If you're on my socials, you can have my house for like six weeks. I'm like, that's a good deal. I post some Insta stories.

How do you even say it at her? Well, here's the thing. Before she left, she goes, oh, taking my house means you've also got to take my dog. Delilah. Right, Delilah, who is an Australian shepherd. And Mitch, you know, Australian shepherds are made for farm life. Yeah. I met her once and she's beautiful, but very active.

Yes. What about the dog? Have you met her? You can't really leave dogs to their own devices in the same way you can a cat. No. And you can, like, if it's a 13-year-old Cavoodle like Hamish, my family dog. He just sleeps and shits. But this Delilah needs to be run off and the energy needs to be burnt, right?

Yeah. So I said, oh, I love you, but I don't really want to. I just don't want to look after the dog. Get someone else to house sit and take the dog. So she was like, okay. Then the day she leaves, I get an email from Channel 10. They go, hi, Mitch. Here are the first assets to post on BritSocials.

Oh, God. And then I was still the nominated social media representative. See, that's skewing a bit admin. Totally. As soon as you throw in emails and assets, your brain just goes, nah. It's been like a full-time job, but here's where I get in trouble. I'm going to have a look at Brit's Instagram. Have you been posting?

Yeah, have a look. I've posted all the reels. I even put all the hashtags. Guess who's running Channel 10 social media these days? Who? Trin, our old friend Trin. Oh, yes. So she'll send me after every episode.

Hi, Mitch. Here's Brit's Tucker trial. Please hashtag this, this, this. Voting closes at this time. So I go on Brit's socials. I post it. I write the caption. Oh, so they spell it out and make it pretty easy for you by the sounds of it.

Yeah, but also you want to get unique engagement. You'd know about social media and you don't just want to post videos that came from Channel 10. Are you allowed to say on there, hi, it's Mitch Turi, I'm running BritSocials? Right, okay. Well, that doesn't sound too difficult. Well, here's the problem. So I have access to BritSocials and I've also got access to a couple of Mitches. I've got access to Mitch Turi, my personal.

I've got access to The Night Show, my radio show. I've got access to Kiss. I've got so many Instagram accounts that it kind of gets confusing when you go in and out of pages. The other night, I come home from work, I'm lying in bed and I go, I want to just like veg out and scroll for an hour. So I sit in bed, I'm on Instagram, I'm going through Insta stories and I'm watching and I'm like, skip, boring, skip, boring. I'm like, fuck, she's had a baby. My God. I haven't seen her in years. I'm watching and I'm like, skip, boring, skip, boring. I'm like, fuck, she's had a baby. I'm like, God, I haven't seen her in years.

I'm going to unfollow, unfollow that account. Oh no. And I was like, who the fuck is this? I don't even know. I've got to follow some weird people. Oh no.

Unfollowed another person. Then I followed, then I was looking at another page. There was this company that was like, our brand new linen quilt set. I'm like,

this is a fucking fugly brand. It's like boho chic outdoor living. I'm like, this is a fucking fugly brand. It's like boho chic outdoor living. Unfollow. I'll never buy this godforsaken table lamp in my life. Unfollowed about three accounts. And then I realised I'm on Brit's Instagram. Who was the person that had a baby that you unfollowed? Her cousin.

Fuck. Oh, it's like a whole mess. I unfollowed some bitch from school. The problem is. Why was Brit following some bitch from school. The problem is... Why was Brit following some bitch from school? No, like, I just assumed I went to school with this girl. Oh. Because you know when you see someone that you kind of know, in my head it's like I went to school with her. I don't know, she's probably one of

my closest friends. Like, through your eyes, you look at a reception building and see it as a theme park. My brain doesn't work like everyone else's. I unfollowed three accounts. I should not be given that responsibility. It's interesting, though, because I never unfollow people. If I see someone, then I'm like, who the fuck's that? I'll just mute them.

Mute posts and stories. Because some of them are maniacs like Jenna that have the app that tell you when people unfollow you. Which I think is so unhealthy. I don't want to know who's unfollowing me. I'll say it. It's juvenile. All right. Well, that's that.

Who are some people that have unfollowed you, Jenna, that you're absolutely spewing about? Erin Molan. That girl from Modern Family. What? Who? Ariel Winter. Yeah.

Why was she ever following you? Ariel Winter ever followed you? Yeah, she followed me for like five years. Why? I don't know. And she unfollowed you? Yeah, she followed me for like five years. Why? I don't know. And she un-followed you. Yeah. What, she saw some video of you doing a podcast with two poofs

and she's like, fuck this. She's like, who the fuck's this? Totally. Reminds me of Cam and Midge. Is it just me? You should follow these idiots online. Search couple of Mitches. So, here at Is It Just Me, we bring you the things that we notice, hate or appreciate.

Well, there's something I've noticed that I'd like to bring up. Sure. Well, at least you don't hate it. So, it's not something that's upsetting you. It's just something that you've seen and you've gone, I'll bring to the attention of the co-host. Pretty much. Yeah. It involves you, obviously. So, cast your mind back. Remember ages ago, I pointed out that you would always, always, always say, yeah, good call. Well, it wasn't since the start of the show. It was a new occurrence, right?

It was something that I just started saying. It randomly came out of nowhere, and then I made a mash-up of all the times you said good call. Remember this? I fucking love Adelaide. I was converted. I was like, I could live here easily. Good call, yeah.

We've got one from Sinead. Notice they're all from women. Good call. No men wanted to fess up. You better actually pay because then there'll be a strike against your name. Yeah. Good call. Prime possum is primes and so Channel 7 bought them out. Oh, good call. If they don't give us a

clear answer, it's a short flight to Canberra. Good call, yeah. But they were at the servo together. If he wanted to get himself a Mars bar, why didn't he get one? Good call. Yeah. That's triggering, yeah. I'm worried that maybe somewhere in your subconscious, as you often do, you read that as an intervention.

Because I've not heard good call in a long time. No, I've actually stopped saying it, to be honest. Sometimes I have a really good phone call and I can't compliment it. I've had killer phone calls. I've gone, fuck, can't say anything about it. Well, I just want to preface by saying that please feel free to keep saying this word, but you have a new fallback. You've just noticed something. Okay.

Because the good call, you would just sort of say it as like an automatic response. Half the time you might not even be properly listening to your own admission. I was on autopilot. Yeah, autopilot. And what did you call it? A crutch? A crutch. Yeah, a crutch. A crutch is something, especially in like the podcast or radio world, when your brain is sort of floundering to say something, you lean back on these crutch words because your brain just knows them, just goes straight back to the default.

Yeah. And so you've got a new one. The beauty of our new studio is that rather than recording all the audio into like one file, like the old studio used to to it now records three separate files so i've got access to just your microphone okay and so what i did because i noticed this new crutch of yours i wanted to find out am i imagining it or is he saying it a lot and so what i did was i put your just your audio into the editing software i got the software to transcribe it, so like write subtitles. Wow. And then I did a control F to search this particular word.

And in the last two weeks, you've said it 104 times. What? And if you do the maths, because our episodes are what, like an hour-ish? So bearing in mind that I'm not the best person at maths, but I'm pretty sure I've figured out the average. You say this one word on average every 2.3 seconds. That doesn't make any sense. Oh, my God. Oh, wait, minutes, minutes.

Every 2.3 minutes, not seconds. First of all, I think AI is the downfall of this generation, and I don't trust it. There's no word that I could have said unless it's ah, oh, duh, oh, bah. Would you like me to play it to you? Yeah, go for it. I was able to do an easy mash-up because I already found with the subtitles where you said it every time.

All I'm hearing from this is that you're doing a lazy edit, so we'll have to talk about that back end. What do you mean? Using AI. I mean, I'm not happy with that. I didn't use AI. Oh, I believe you did. That's all I'm hearing from this.

Transcribing is not AI. Oh, I don't know. It's the end of the world. See, this is what I was worried about. You're getting defensive. No, okay. Sorry. I am.

I am. Everyone, I present to you Churi's the end of the world. See, this is what I was worried about. You're getting defensive. Okay, sorry. I am. I am. Everyone, I present to you Churi's new crutch. Totally. Totally. Totally. Totally. Totally. Totally.

Totally. Totally. Totally. You and I would have been like truffle pigs. Yeah. Totally. Totally. Totally.

Totally. Totally. What do you bring to this show? Nothing. Totally. Totally. What is he doing? Totally.

Totally. Totally. Totally. Totally. Totally. Totally. Totally. Totally. No. That was the same. Totally. totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally yes totally totally totally fucking hell totally totally totally totally totally okay i get it from a doctor totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally i mean we do argue but it totally totally totally imagine that

totally totally oh yeah totally okay i get the point no totally totally totally totally Totally. Totally. Is this all 100? Yeah, move on. No. Totally move on. That more than all of them. Oh, my God. I believe that that was the same totally. There was six in there and you've just replayed them. I can prove to you that that's not what's happened. I don't want to know. That is mortifying.

Really? Yes. And so knowing that this was happening, I was laughing so much on Monday's episode when you kept saying totally. I was like. Oh, so you knew before you did the reveal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fuck. But that actually wasn't all of them, by the way. Because I also noticed that. See, those ones I just played you, I would describe them as sincere totalies. Yes. Because you had oomph in your voice. You were like, totally. Yeah.

Totally. But this is where the whole crutch thing comes into it because- I could even do it for you. What? I know the difference in totalies. Well, I've got a whole separate montage. Oh, fucking hell. Of what I would call maybe, let's call them disassociated totalies.

Yes. I could be wrong, but I suspect maybe you weren't listening or you were listening and you were thoroughly bored. Bored, yes. I was going to say probably bored. Totally. Ready? Listen to this. Here we go to say probably bored. Totally. Ready? Listen to this.

Here you go. Totally. Totally. Totally. Totally. Yeah, totally. Totally, because yeah. Yeah.

Totally. Totally. Totally. Yeah. Totally. Totally. Totally. Totally.

Totally. Totally. Totally. Totally, yeah. Totally. Totally. Totally. Totally.

Totally. Oh. Totally, yeah Totally Totally Totally Totally Totally See how You've caught me The first one you had so much enthusiasm Totally Yeah Well that was going to be my next thought The first montage It sounds fine

I mean if it's not annoying anyone It's a good way to continue the conversation No of course No no As long as you're agreeing with me, which evidently you are a lot. Yeah. No. Totally.

Jenna, can you Google the definition of totally? Yes. Because what does it even fucking mean? I was hearing totally, as in like Toad from Mario. Totally. Like Toad's little brother. Totally. I was thinking as I was putting that together, fuck, the word starts to sound weird after

a while, doesn't it? It lost all meaning. Also, I was giving it a real D, not T. I'm not saying totally. I'm saying totally. Okay, so totally is an adverb meaning completely or absolutely. For instance, the building was totally destroyed by the fire. Yes.

Yeah, no, you're right. Well, you've caught me red-handed. I can't wriggle my way out of this one. Do you know what I hate, though? Caught me red-handed. I can't wriggle my way out of this one. Do you know what I hate, though? Last time we did this and I pointed out the good call thing,

we asked everyone to point out my crutch. No one came forward. I don't have one, I don't think, but surely I do. I think you do. I must. I think it's my radio announcer in me that we're trained to do live radio, so if there's a stumble, you add words. So I think that's why I use them because I try to keep the conversation keep the conversation going it's like totally well i'm thinking of something else to say sometimes when i'm editing i notice that i say the word like a lot and it kind of annoys me

because i'm like and i have been tempted to edit the like out but then i was like don't go down that rabbit hole if i start doing that imagine how much longer the edits would take if I got rid of every like. Well, idiots, what have you noticed? Does Mitch have a crutch? Does Jenna have a crutch? Surely I do. I don't think you do, Jenna. Also, I'm pissed off because I was going to say, well, I'm just fucking bored out of my

brain, but you had bored and non-bored. You're a genius. Yeah, that was clever. I was very smart because the second ones, I was definitely bored. But the first ones, I was enthralled. Totally. Totally. Totally. You're a bit passive-aggressive too, isn the first ones, I was enthralled. Totally. Totally. So passive-aggressive too, isn't it?

Totally. Not all of them. No. Like I love the ones where you're like, totally. Yeah, I love them. Like a Californian surfer. Totally. It's like you're on The Price is Right.

Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on down. I'm embarrassed. What? Don't be embarrassed. This is why I was worried about bringing it up. It's just something I've noticed. I'm not upset. I'm embarrassed. Well, don't be embarrassed. This is why I was worried about bringing it up. It's just something I've noticed.

I'm not upset. I'm just embarrassed by it. Anyway, what can you do? Maybe we put that on some merch. We needed merch. Just totally. Just totally. Oh, my God.

We need to get like tote bags as merch that says tote-ily. Oh, that's brilliant. Oh, that's brilliant. Another brain saw on the fly. How successful? Yes. If I had a crotch. Another brain saw on the fly. How successful? Yes. If I had a crotch. Crotch.

Not crotch. If I had one, a thing that I say often, I could put that on merch, but apparently I don't. No, you don't. I want a crotch. I can make that happen very easily. That was Jenna who said that. We can organise that for you if you need it.

Is it just me? The rude shocks of young adulthood. Okay, I said that I've had these hectic fucking stories that I've never told. I don't know if on a scale of one to Jenna's earthquake, where I'm sitting on the Richter scale. Thank you very much. But I did have a little think about it. I'm pretty sure I told one of these stories on Trash Alley at least,

but it could be new territory for here. I'm not sure. Okay, it. I'm pretty sure I told one of these stories on Trash Alley at least, but it could be new territory for here. I'm not sure. Okay, well, I'm ready to hear. So this is a story that you otherwise wouldn't be able to bring up unless you had a natural segue. If you recognise the story and you realise that you have been told, do me a favour and wait till the end and then I'll ask, have you heard that before?

Okay. Because it'll throw me if you're like, oh, yeah, I've heard this. And I'm like, oh, fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get you. You get the story. Well, I'm suddenly nervous to tell the story because I'm like, oh, fuck. I've heard this. And I'm like, oh, fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get you. You get the story. Well, I'm suddenly nervous to tell the story because I'm like, oh, fuck. I don't know.

Don't be nervous. I know. When you label it like telling a story. And I've said it's really hectic. Okay. Are you ready? I'm ready. It's actually two stories.

Oh, God. It's an essay. Sure. This is the reason that I refuse to be Dezo. Oh, I don't think I know. I feel that the universe doesn't want me to be designated driver. The universe wants me to get pissed. Is this when you were bashed outside that 7-Eleven?

Is it? Well, thanks for listening, it is. Is it? That was one of them. I was thinking that too. I thought if I got it, that'd be great. I specifically asked you to pretend you haven't heard it. Sorry, sorry, sorry. No, that'd be great. I specifically asked you to pretend you haven't heard it. Sorry.

No, no, keep going. No, I feel the fool now. I can't. I can't go on. I just was so I wanted to prove that I listened to you and I know all your stories. But then you'll do what I did to you. You'll make a fucking montage of every time I've told that story. I feel like you have.

And this will become my crutch. That's Mitch's crutch. Oh, my God. Let's get shirts made saying I was bashed outside of 7-E crutch. That's Mitch's crutch. Oh, my God. Let's get shirts made saying I was bashed outside of 7-Eleven. That's also not what happened. No, I know. It's not the story. Clear the story up.

Clear the story up. So there's two stories. Yes. Maybe you haven't heard the other one. Yeah, let's try the other one. I haven't heard the other one. Okay. The reason I refuse to go deso is because I've done it twice and things have gone awry.

Yes. One of them, I was going to a friend's house party and she had this really homophobic friend. Oh. The reason we know that is because one of my other gay friends, Asher, he'd met this guy. I had no idea who he was. And he was being outwardly homophobic. And he literally said word for word, I'm going to bash that faggot.

Oh, shit. And so before we went to this house party, we were quite clear. We said, can you not invite that guy? makes us uncomfortable he's fucking homophobic and she goes of course of course of course i won't i won't i was deso i rock up to the party ash is already there and he goes guess what the homophobes here and i was like fucking hell here we go it's all right we'll just ignore him we'll stay away from him yeah and so we like went to one of the back rooms trying to just do our own thing stay away from him yeah and so we like went to one of the back rooms trying to just do our own thing stay away from him he was partying out the front and then after like half

an hour my so-called friend and by the way we're so pissed off at her for inviting him but after half an hour my so-called friend comes out and goes mitchell i'm really sorry honey but something's happened oh god what What the fuck has happened? I walk out to the front and this has thrown a chair through my back windscreen. I don't know this story.

Oh my God. Thank God. What? He shattered the back windscreen with a chair. Because you're gay? Yes. All these

blokey blokes are standing around laughing at me as I get into my car with shards of glass all over the fucking seat. Oh my God. And as I was leaving, actually before I left, I had to get all these details. To his credit, he vandalized my car, but then was happy for insurance to cover it. Wow.

We exchanged details. I've still got a photo of his license in my camera. Can I see his face? Yeah, sure. Hold on. What the fuck? Was he drunk? Was he his face? Yeah, sure. Hold on. So what the fuck? Was he drunk? Was he blind drunk?

Not really. That's sad. What a pathetic excuse of a man. Is he out now? Do you see him at Mardi Gras? Clearly he's deeply positive. No, actually. Here we go.

I found it. Look. This is this guy's licence. Oh, God. Oh, he's gross. So I was designated driver that night and I had to drive home with no fucking back windscreen. And he gave me the details so that his insurance and whatever could cover it. And then this is the fucking fun part.

Yeah. Even though I was not out of pocket because the insurance covered it, right? They paid for it. Yeah. Yeah. His parents emailed me and they said, hi, so we know that you filed a report with Crime Stoppers. They've just contacted us. We had no idea this happened.

We are so appalled and we are happy to cover any of the costs in getting the cars repaired. But please don't escalate it with the police because we don't want it to sabotage his semi-professional golf career. I was like, play golf. Totally. Faggot. It's the gayest sport in the world. Tight little pants. Trying to get a ball into a hole.

That's my Friday night. And so here's what I did, even though I wasn't out of pocket. I'd been down to the Holden dealership a couple of weeks prior. Yeah. Just to get my, you know, the bit of perspex that goes over your number plate? Yes. That shattered. And so I just paid 50 bucks to get that replaced. Yeah. Just to get my, you know, the bit of perspex that goes over your number plate? Yes. That shattered.

And so I just paid 50 bucks to get that replaced. Yeah. And so what I did, this charming young man's father, I sent back an email where I photoshopped the invoice, copy and pasted an extra zero, and then he gave me 500 bucks. Oh my God, that is brilliant. Well done. I was a poor fucking student at this point. Actually, I was working here. I wasn't that poor.

No. I was poor enough that I was like, fucking 500 won't go astray go astray poor and gay i mean i would have bashed your window in too yeah wait did you ever see this guy again is he in the same friend circle anymore god no so as i was driving out with the shards of glass under my ass yeah my friend whose party it was i had the window down and she like puts her hand on the car and says, honey, I'm so sorry. I'll talk to you tomorrow. And I said, no, you won't. Just put the windscreen back up. Haven't spoken to her since.

You're kidding. Do you know this person? I met this person through Mitchell. Do I know this person? No, you wouldn't have. Yeah, this is early days. This is very early. This is life BC before Cheery.

Oh, I get it. Okay. That's a great Mitchellitchell coombs story i've never heard that story and then yes that on top of the other time i went deso i was driving on my friend's back from another house party yeah and i was driving talisha's car yes my old not a cup of tea co-host yes that talisha we love her i was driving her car everyone was drunk and i said to her where the fuck are the pee plates? And she goes, I just don't use them. And I was like, well, that's not how I roll.

I don't want to have any interactions with police tonight. Therefore, I insist that we go to 7-Eleven to buy pee plates before I drive us anywhere. Didn't I get police interaction that fucking night? How ironic. Yeah. That was the one that you spoiled. Oh, sorry. Sorry. So a few friends went you spoiled. Oh, sorry. Yeah.

Sorry. So a few friends went inside to like get snacks and whatever. I forget it by the way. I just know they had one. I was actually shocked that your fucking memory allowed you to recall it. I was like, wow. If he remembers, then everyone else does. Yes.

But I'll tell it again. Whatever. Sorry. I actually don't know what happened because my friends went in to get snacks or whatever. I wasn't there. But as they walked out, this woman is just mouthing off at one of my friends. They're getting into like a verbal scrag fight. And to be fair, my friend wasn't helping.

Like she was mouthing off too. Yeah. And this woman, not my friend, was clearly off her fucking face. Got it. So I said to my friend, can you just get in the car? Shut the fuck up. You're not helping. And so this lady speeds off in her car. then i'm like right oh she's gone let's

put the pea plates on now because they brought them out with the snacks yeah and then um as we're putting the pea plates on the car comes back and parks us in so we can't leave and she brings this hideous burly man with her. He's also off his face. And my friend Talisha's car is a bit old, so I couldn't put the window up. They reached and grabbed the keys, threw them in a bush. We never found them. To this day, we never found those keys. Wow.

And then they just started fucking trying to bash us. Oh, my God. But they couldn't because they were so off their face. They had, like, no muscle strength. They were like this. Oh, no. Their arms were just flailing. And so, yes, she was punching me in the face, but not very hard.

I was able to have a discussion. I was like, ma'am, are you sure we can't just sort this out, talk about this like adults? Yeah, of course. And then the big burly gronk of a guy, he smashed the back windscreen. So, again, broken glass. Oh, the second one. Fuck. Because he wanted to bash the bitch in the back. In smashed the back windscreen. So again, broken glass. Oh, the second one. Fuck.

Because he wanted to bash the bitch in the back. In the back. My friend. In the bitch, yeah. And then, yeah, the cops had to come and take our statements. One of them recognised me. They were like, are you that guy from YouTube? And they didn't even offer us a lift home.

Isn't that weird? Yeah, that's bad. I was like, we don't have keys. We can't drive. So how did you get home? You got the car towed? I had to get an Uber. Oh my God.

And then because we didn't have keys, we went back the next day to try and like, what do you do to try and start it? You see it in TV shows. Yeah. Wire. They put the wire together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We tried that and that fucked the car completely.

It was a write-off. Oh, you broke the car. Yeah. So I was able to get my windscreen fixed, obviously, in the first incident, but Talisha just lost a car. Oh, my God. And did you get covered on insurance? I don't think it was insured. Wow. So that was a shit day for Talisha just lost a car. Oh my God. And did you get covered on insurance? I don't think it was insured.

Wow. So that was a shit day for Talisha more than anything. I think they're great stories. They're good stories. I refuse to be designated driver. Like I said, the universe wants me to be a rat and be drunk. I'm never going sober. That's the sign from the stars.

It is. You should definitely stick by that. Were there any details at least in the 7-Eleven story that you'd forgotten? The limp slapping, 100%. I forgot to mention the best part of the story is that the ice junkie bitch that was trying to bash me. Yeah, that's how you met Jenna. No. No.

This junkie bitch, right? Yes, yes, yes. Ended up DMing me years later saying, hi, that was me that night. I'm really sorry for my actions. That gronk of a man that I brought along with me, you know, domestic violence, I was getting out of that relationship and now I'm all clean and I'm really sorry. I was like, so wait, you knew who I was when you were bashing my head in?

You were like, oh, I've seen his reels. I guess if you bash someone, you never forget their face. I've never bashed anyone. Yeah, maybe she recognised me years later. After the fact. Like, oh, that's that poof that I bashed at 7-Eleven. And guess what I did after the homophobe threw the chair through my windscreen? Oh, you had sex with him.

No. Oh, damn it. I went and got drunk, of course. Hey, nice. I'm a fuck being designated now. Yeah, because what else would you do in that situation? You fucked his dad. That would have been good.

Yeah. If there's anything I can do. Well, now that you mention it, mate. How sorry are you exactly? Oh, my God. Isn't that funny that he had a semi-professional? Do you know his name? Can I Google it?

I'm sure I could find it. I think it was on that photo you showed me. Here we go. I'll beep it out, ready? Yeah. Let's go. Is that him? Yeah, that's him.

No, on the right. Is that his Facebook? I think that's him on the left. Yeah. We found him. Is he doing really dreadfully? Is that his Facebook, Jenna think that's him on the left. Yeah. We found him. Is he doing really dreadfully? Is that his Facebook, Jenna? Yeah.

He's foul. He's aged terribly in the last few years. Look at this. That's him? Yeah. Oh, fuck. He's awful. His golf career isn't going well.

All right. Well, Mitchell, great fable once again. Well done. I actually think I did tell a fable with the whole Coke land. I think that's probably my fable. Yeah. That story will go down. That was a fairy tale.

Make believe. Yeah. All right, let's go. Thank you for listening, everyone. Five stars on Apple Podcasts and Spotify if you can as well. That'd be lovely. Yeah, thanks for listening, idiots. We'll catch you soon.

See you. Bye-bye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to A to Debrief, our secret segment on the end. Now I'm paranoid about every story I've ever told.

No, don't. No. See, if I'm not paranoid about Total,. Now I'm paranoid about every story I've ever told. No, don't! No! See, if I'm not paranoid about Total, you can't be paranoid about your story. True, you're right. It's fair game. I've got to practice what I preach. It's fair game. Normally, old Mitch, that would have offended.

But now that, you know, we're highly paid, it just doesn't bother me. It's a joke, by the way, everyone. How good is that unnamed Coke? Nondescript, unreleased flavour of Coke. Yeah, nah, I'm not mad about it. This is actually my first soft drink that i've had in a long time really but there's no sugar there are calories in any of the zero sugar ones yeah but what the fuck's in it i know i know i think the same thing but then also i don't really care about how many calories are in things i just yeah i know but i lather shit on. It's not good for your health, really. To count calories. No, I mean soft drink just generally.

Oh, totally, no. Ah, there we go. Another one. Oh, fuck. It's gone board batshit. On Monday's episode when I was teasing that I was about to. Did I say it? Yeah.

As I was saying, oh, coming up on Wednesday, I'm going to reveal the word that Cheery keeps fucking saying repeatedly. And somewhere within that, you said totally. And I'm like. Here's the thing. Can I did the math? You know, a week, I do 12 shows. 12 shows a week.

That's stupid. You should have done the hours. That would have been a bigger figure. Okay. Well, I'm on air nights, three hours plus the pickup. And that's five nights. Oh, yeah. So nights is five nights a week.

Three times five is 15. Okay. Plus five hours of a daily hour pickup. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So nights is five nights a week. Three times five is 15. Okay. Plus five hours of a daily hour pickup. Yeah. So 20 hours. And then two hours for us. Yep. Two hours.

So that's 22. That's almost a whole fucking day. Of talking. Yeah. That's so boring. But also, it's just too many shows. Which one's going to be first off the chopping block? I mean, Rob Mills isn't even doing that in fucking Ann Juliet

Which, can I just say It's amazing Oh my god, I saw Ann Juliet And I had the time of my life That production They're not paying me to say this But that production of Ann Juliet It's on in Sydney at the moment

It has been in Melbourne I think it's coming to Brisbane Or it has been in Brisbane I'm not sure I really should go and see it Because we voiced ads for it. We did voice ads. Have you ever been, Mitchell?

No. Oh, my God. They invited me to the premiere, but I couldn't go. And I was like, oh, it's fine. I'll get tickets at some stage. Like, I don't mind paying to go. But I just haven't gotten around to it. I went to the premiere and I want to see it again.

So I'm going to buy tickets. Oh, let's do it on the QDO. So, well, no, save. Don't go. You guys should come to the production that I'm in. Huh? I'm in Anne Juliet. What?

I've been offered a role in Anne Juliet. Another fairy tale. Doing what? In every country that it's toured in. So in New York, they had a TV presenter come in and do a cameo. Right. In London, they had a radio presenter come in and do a cameo. And then in Australia, they want me to come and do a cameo in one of the scenes.

Was everyone else busy? I believe so. Well, it it's also they've left it very late in the run i was gonna say did they do that every night no no they do it once in the in the country they get a media personality to come and do an appearance why didn't they do it in melbourne well i mean they're doing it they do it once in the country run so like they did it once in like the uk once in the who have they gotten in the us and the uk i haven't good i don't know tv like the UK, once in the US. Who have they gotten in the US and the UK? I haven't got, I don't know, a TV presenter and a radio presenter in the UK. I'm sure you could do that. Do they have a role? Like a line?

Yes. So I don't know if I'm even allowed to talk about this, but if you- They offered it, but have you accepted? No. You've seen it, Jenna. Yeah. You know when Juliet, they get to Paris and they go to the nightclub? Yes.

It's the role of the people that like are in the line of the nightclub that get let in first. Really? Yes. It's the role of the people that, like, are in the line of the nightclub that get let in first. Really? Yes. It's like a two-minute role. Yeah, but that's fine. And also at the start, there's, like, improv at the start before the show starts.

In that. Interaction, audience interaction. Yeah, I've got to send my measurements for my Elizabethan-style costume. I'm so excited. So you guys should come. I'm so jealous. Yeah. Can I just say, you said Elizabethan, it reminded me of like one of my favourite fables

you've ever told about when you got fired from the fucking Halloween store. Oh, from Justice for the Secret. Why is Rose from Titanic in Elizabethan? That's true. Fuck, that's one of the funniest things you've ever said. To be fair, Rose's outfits looked very Elizabethan. She had those dumb gowns on. She looked like Princess fucking Peach.

Totally. Yes. When will you be on it? What? Oh, and Julia, I thought you were talking about Jester's fancy dress. I got left there. They went into solvency because they fired me. I don't know.

We're working on it at the moment. It's like a pitch in with the radio station. I want to see it. Yeah. Would you come to that, Mitchell? Yeah. Oh, my God. If it at the moment. It's like a pitch in with the radio station. I want to see it. Yeah. Would you come to that, Mitchell? Yeah. Oh, my God.

If it's actually happening. Yes, it is. We're talking about it now. Yes. Because then we can use the kiddio. It's a fucking group. It's a group bonding activity for Jenna and I. Totally.

Yes. The only issue is the obvious issue in that. With the stars of the show. Huh? Casey Donovan's in it. Yeah. Yeah. Why is that an issue? Oh, no. What? Don't you know? Oh, we have a history. Huh? Casey Donovan's in it. Yeah. Yeah. Why is that an issue?

Oh, no. What? Don't you know? Oh, we have a history. Who? You know about me and Casey. Oh. Don't you know that? Yes, I do.

I don't. Casey Donovan can't stand him. She thinks he's an absolute pig of a man. Totally. He makes her sick. In fact, when I went, she wasn't there because she could smell me. What happened again? Mm-mm.

Not talking about it. Oh, beep it out. Mitch, you can't air this. I won't. Okay, we're back. It's just detailed why Casey Donovan can't stand him. Oh, my God. To be fair, she could have just completely forgotten.

I'm blocked on socials. What? I might be unblocked. Who knows? That's actually my worst nightmare. I adore Casey. No, so do I. Personally, I don't know how you've been able to forgive yourself.

Oh, no. She's unblocked me. Oh. Yeah. If you go to messages, my apology is still there. Did she see it? No, it's not. Yes, it is.

Oh, my God. It's her voice. I voiced her apology. Oh, you did not send a voice message apology. Hey, Casey. Oh, no. I don't want to listen to it. No, no.

Without context, it'll make no fucking sense. Why did I forward announce it? Hey, Casey. Like, I'm trying to apologize. Stick around, Casey. I mean it sincerely. Casey, in the next 15 minutes, I'll apologize, but now. Sabrina Carpenter.

Fuck me. I don't think I'm blocked by anyone notable anymore. Because remember, I was blocked by Mitchell Coombs, the psychic? And then he- Came on the show. Specifically, yeah, he came on my birthday episode as a surprise guest. And he said to you specifically, tell him not to bring up the fact that I blocked him. Yes.

I was like, oh, so you remember doing that then. And then because it was a surprise, it was a surprise guest. You didn't brief me beforehand. And the first thing I said was, oi, why'd you block me, asshole? Yeah, he hated that. You should have seen it coming. Who else did I get for that birthday episode? I got Bridie Carter, didn't I?

Yeah, I got to say, like, I don't think you'll ever be able to top that episode. Get a test from a Clouds Daughters. That's fucking huge for me. Oh, I put so much prep into that. Yeah. And I could tell that you were very stressed that episode because you told them like, oh, we'll get you on at this exact time, this exact time. And we were running a bit late.

And I was like, he's so distracted. What's going on? Fucking Tess McLeod pops up. Yeah. Totally. I was like, oh my God. Yeah. And there was one more.

Sean from Short Snack. Sean from Short Snack. Sean Dibony. Yeah. That was a good episode. That was a great episode. Yeah. And then you forgot my birthday.

That hasn't happened once. It's just a joke. That's me. It's just a joke. We don't know each other's birthdays. We've all established that. June 4, September 30. Yeah.

And mine is? June 4. No, that's Jenna. Ew. July 25th. Yes. Totally. Totally.

Totally. Yeah, totally. Totally. Totally. Totally. Totally. Sorry, those were the engaged. That's me listening. Right now I'm bored. Absolutely out of my brain. This is the bored shitless totallys.

Totally. Totally. Totally. Notice that most of them, you can hear me talking in the background. I sound shit. So I must bore you the most. Totally. Totally.

Totally. Totally. Yeah, totally. bore you the most. Totally. Totally. Totally. Totally. Yeah, totally. Totally, because yeah. Totally. Totally. Totally. Yeah, that's you. You're boring me. Totally. Totally. Totally. That was Jenna. Jenna got one in. My favourite part is how disengaged I am.

But Jenna, oh, yep. I'm into this one. Yep. Clearly we have different interests on this show. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm into this one. Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Clearly we have different interests on the show. Fuck. I apologize. There's not much I can do. Yeah. Well, maybe.

Would you like me to start, but I've got nothing else to say, just not speaking? You could try that. That is the other option. I can turn my- That'd be really bizarre. I'd be like, is he fucking stroking out on me? What the fuck? I'm going to turn my radio filler brain off. And now on is just, if I don't have anything to say, I'm not going to speak.

I want some drink. See? But now I'm just saying whatever I want. I'm going to have some drink. I want some drink. So when Nan says, Nan said, oh, have you had some drink? But she means alcoholic. Drink to her is alcohol.

Coke for the drink? She also doesn't know my name, so she still remembers my alcoholism. Your alcoholism? No, well, she thinks I means alcoholic. Drink to her is alcohol. Coke for the drink? She also doesn't know my name, so she still remembers my alcoholism. Your alcoholism? No, she thinks I am alcoholic. Oh. Whenever I'm tired and ninch, have you been on a drink? She also says pillow. Who is she confusing you for?

She just doesn't know who I am. Right. This is the dementia chat again. She goes, you're the one with the show. Well, that's correct. To be fair, I'm glad she remembers my successes over my childhood memories and my name. It's quite nice. It's something.

The one with the show. The one with the show. And she went, you've grown in all the wrong places. Yeah, what does that mean? I don't understand. It's quite deep when you think about it. Yeah. Grown in all the wrong places. Your ego. Totally. The lies. More fables.

Yeah, fables. This is hard without you just speaking your thoughts. No, but also just your face at the moment. I'm bored, like I said. Can I tell you something I noticed the other day? Yeah. This is completely out of nowhere. Nothing to do with anything.

That's fine. Say it. You know how certain names, when they shorten it, they add an S to the end? What do you mean? So like here at KISS, everyone used to call Jackie O Jax. And I'm like, where's the S coming from? Why are some names, it's acceptable to just add an S? I've got a theory.

Huh? I have a theory. What? Well, because her name is Jackie is already cutesy. Right. It's like Mickey. Jackie. You can't add a Y to it.

Jackie. But instead of just Jack, for sure, it's Jacks. Oh. And like some people, I've heard people say instead of Rebecca, they'll go, oh, Becks. Yeah. That's like with Jacinda, who I work with. We call her Jacks. You're kidding.

Why can't we do it with, why can't we do it with some names? Mitch's. That doesn't work. Mitch's. Like, why can't we be like Derrick's? Yeah. Mitch's. Paul's. Jenna's doesn't work. Like, why can't we be like, Derek's? Yeah. Mitch's. Paul's.

Janice. Patrick's. Yeah. That's so true. Clint's. Who? Clint's. Clint's.

Oh, Clint's. Yeah, I'm swallowing the L. Clint's, come over here. Clint's. That's the point. I don't have an answer for you. I'm going to start calling my friend Nick's. Nick's works.

Nick's. Hey, Nick's. Thanks for dinner, Nick's. Yeah. That's works. Nicks. Hey, Nicks. Thanks for dinner, Nicks. That's nice. I think it just works for some people. In the same token, why the fuck do we call Robert Bob? Like, grow up. Oh, I don't know.

There's other ones too. There's an ob in there, I guess. And like, Elizabeth is Beth. Totally. Caitlin could be Kitty. Beths. Beths. Liz's.

Oh, I told you I was going to be delirious today. You are a little delirious. That is so funny to me, just adding an S to the end of someone's name for no good reason. Shall we wrap the show then? Kyle's. Lisa's. Oh, I told you I was going to be delirious today. You are a little delirious. That is so funny to me, just adding an S to the end of someone's name for no good reason. Shall we rap the show then? Kyle's. That doesn't work. I just told you that I'm having so much fun and you go, well, we better rap. No, you know what it is.

I think it's when it's an X. It's actually not an S. It's an X. But where's the X in Jackie? No, it's not. But the sound isn't a CS. It's an X. It's Jack's.

Okay. So Nick's becomes N-I-X. Correct. Nick's works. But you couldn't do a C-S. It's an X. It's Jax. Okay, so Nix becomes N-I-X. Correct. Nix works. But you couldn't do Kyle-x. You know what I mean? No. So it's actually the X sound.

It has to end with a C-K. Yeah, correct. Oh. Brodericks. There's actually not many fucking names in it with H. Brocks. With H? With K, sorry.

Guys, are we still on the show? Yeah, we are What's happened? Do you think we're going to be sued by Coke? Cokes Hope not Jax, do you want a Cokes, Jax? Jax Cokes?

No Marks? Why did I not think of Mark? It's my fucking brother's name It's my dad's name too Yeah My middle name. Oh.

Is that really? No. I didn't think you had Mark as your middle name. Sorry. My initial spell Mark. Oh. It's my third name. Okay.

Your third name. Mitchell Alan Robert Chury. That's right. Alan's my grandfather. Robert's my grandfather. What happened to you not talking? Do you prefer it? Yeah. I've got to get out of here because I need to go to Clark's Rubber.

Yeah, why doesn't it apply to businesses? Why is it just names? Yeah. What if we did the opposite, Hungry Jack? This is terrible. No, no. Taking the X sound, but getting rid of the S element. So like, oh, can you help me lift this bock?

Why is that funny to me? I'm so delirious. Oh, someone sent me a fac. I need to do my tac. Fac. The quick brown fock jumped over the brown fence. Oh, it's a real shame what happened between you and your egg. Well done.

Who's your favourite Friends star? Oh, Courtney Cock. You should have hit my head, I might have met LeBlanc. LeBlanc. LeBlanc. Oh, fucking hell. Yeah. I have chicken pock.

Just one? Just show me. Oh, there it is. I can see it on your neck. Yeah. Can you pass me the yock cord? What's that dish called when you have salmon on a bagel? I actually don't know.

Lock. Trust me, there'll be people that are laughing It's called locks I'm a foodie Do you take amic? Sorry no amic Oh fucking hell Oh my god Mitchell don't turn around

You're gonna freak out Well we're in Jurassic World today so Behind you is a T-Rex A T-Rex. A T-Rex. Oh, my God. You're a witch, aren't you? Jenna, you put a heck on me.

Oh, there's got to be more. No, I'm having so much fun. I just got a text from my EP saying, are you recording the world's longest podcast? Yes, we are. Not to fleck, but we're quite popular actually. Anyway, I'm real horny. I'm going to go home and have sex. That's a good one. That's a good one to end on.

Sex. Sex. Yeah. No, I'm with you on that. I'd kill for some sex. No, I'm with you on that. I'd kill for some sick. Oh, my God. What?

Oh, my God, I can smell it on you. You've been having sick. I have. Oh, your EP's actually coming to now. Oh, Grace, come in. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. We can't stop.

You can't. We will. We must. Come in. You can talk. I can talk? Yeah, you can talk into this. Hello. This is Grace, everyone. Hi. No, I was just finishing, wondering if we had an ETA on finishing. We can talk? Yeah, you can talk into this. Hello? This is Grace, everyone. Hi.

No, I was just wondering if we had an ETA on finishing. We can do it right now. We are taking the piss officially. No, it's actually fine. I am yours at this moment. No, we just legally need you to do some work. Some work, totally. Keep doing your podcast.

No, no, I'm coming back. We hope this... Oh, you say it. Oh, yes. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today. That's all. So we do. We better go. So we do.

So we do. So we do. I'm at Grace Gard on Instagram. Give her a follow. All right, everyone. See you next week. Catch you then. Bye, bub.

See you. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.