Is It Just Me? - #203: Tops Can't Use Maps

Episode Date: April 28, 2024

In this episode: Taste testing the lube lozenges (02:15) Not so close to ANZAC Day?! (06:55) Can tops not use maps? (10:13) Should phone companies CALL BACK if you drop out? (21:07) A JUICY ’Is It Just You?’ caller!!! (32:47) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (42:00)   Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello, you. Totally. Go! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Yeah, no-one says the word turn as an adult. You know how kids would be like, can I have a turn?

You don't say that shit as an adult. Can I have a turn in your car? I want a turn! Now! It's my turn! Now, here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, you. Hello, you.

Oh, coming to you live from a public holiday at the time of recording. Yeah. Do you mind if I tell our idiots what's happened today? No. I mean, you know what? I don't take any ownership over it, so I don't feel bad. So, yes. No, no, no. No one here is trying to make you feel bad. No, I mean, you know what? I don't take any ownership over it. So I don't feel bad. So yes. No, no, no.

No one here is trying to make you feel bad. It's all good. So we're currently recording on Anzac Day. And we thought it's a public holiday. Mitch and Jenna don't have to come to the office. So I felt a bit bad that you had to work in a way doing this podcast on a public holiday. So I was like, let's make it more relaxed.

Instead of going to the office, we'll do it in my lounge room. I set everything up. It was all ready to go. I blew up a fucking mattress in the lounge room and stood it up to try and soundproof it. You make it sound like I need to have a nap mid-show for acoustic reasons. Yeah. He needed his halftime nap. Wouldn't surprise people, yeah. Anyway, so it was all set up. The lights, the camera's ready to go. And then Chiri goes,

oh shit, I didn't bring the microphones. Yeah. Which I know that some of our idiots don't work in the audio space, but they're quite important to make a podcast happen. That's like polling Yo turning up to MasterChef day one and going, shit, I forgot the food. Like there's no MasterChef without the food. Exactly. It defeats the whole purpose.

And so we were like, all right, then we all carpooled in Chiri's car, headed into the studio, including Pricekeeper Jenna, who is here. I'm here. She's here. Does it feel a bit shitty being in the office on a public holiday? Not going to lie. Yes. Yeah.

It really does. And also, I don't work Friday, so I was geared up for a four-day weekend this week. Yeah. And now, no. But it's all right. And what can you do? We're dedicated to the listeners. What if I try and make it really fucking fun today so it doesn't feel like work?

Oh, you always do that. It's always fun. It's always fun. Oh, my God. The way your eyes just dart at each other like, go along with the lie, go along with the lie. Jenna and I holding hands. It's fun. We're like in Jonestown.

It's a cult. Would it be fun to do a little taste test here? Because look what I brought with me today. Show me. The lube lozenges you recommended. Oh, you know I'm so excited for this. I want to try it. They're supposed to help with dry mouth.

Yeah, I suggested this. You did. And I said a couple of episodes ago, whenever it was, I said that when I tried it, it felt like having lube in my mouth. Yeah, you did. As if you'd just taken the fucking lid off lube, had a swig, off you go. That's what it tastes like.

This is the number one dentist recommended dry mouth brand. I didn't realise how much competition there was in the space. Yeah, neither. I'd never heard of dry mouth lozenges. So do how much competition there was in the space. Yeah, neither. I'd never heard of dry mouth lozenges. So do you suck on it or do you chew it, Mitchell? I guess you just pop it in like a strepsil. All right. What is like...

Yeah, it's very strepsil adjacent. It's very dentist-y. All right, here we go. Don't chew it. Oh, no, you're sucking it all up. Oh. Oh, the flavour's delicious. Right, it is turning luby.

Right? It's weird. I don't know if I'd find that helpful because it was so that I didn't get a dry mouth during the podcast. Yeah. And so that I didn't drink all that water and need to piss all the time. Oh, there's the lube. See? Yeah.

It's so luby. Oh, that's luby. Oh, my God. It's slimy. Now, you also had a theory that perhaps these would help with gobies. Should we test that out? I'm trying to make today fun for you, mate. All right, Jenna.

It's horrific. I think it would help with some sort of fun. I guess so. Apparently ice cubes are meant to help with that. I've tried that. Have you? Oh, God, yeah. As in you put the ice cube in your mouth?

Yes, and had vice versa. Okay. Did it make any difference? What is it supposed to achieve? It's like a different sensation because it's cold down there. It's very sensitive down there, so it's cold. Interesting. It does nothing.

So are you struggling to talk with the lozenge in your mouth? It's not a subtle lozenge. I am. It's not a subtle lozenge, but my mouth isn't like, I think I'm just drinking the lube. Like I'm swallowing the lube. Yeah, I found it a bit distracting. I don't know if I like it.

Dry mouth lozenge. I don't know, it works. It also, I just feel like I'm salivating because it's sweet. This is normally my mouth with a strepsil or something. Well, yeah, we're here at work on a day off. Hey, here's something I did to try and make it fun. I made a bloody Anzac Day spread for you both. I tried to fool you into thinking that I made sandwiches and Anzac biscuits.

They were store-bought. You didn't fucking fall for it. I brought them with me in a Tupperware container to the studio since we had to relocate. So there you go. Sugar hit. Will that make you feel better? Yeah, it will. But I don't want to just suck and chew on the same podcast. Never soft you before, though. No, it really hasn't. We'll eat them throughout. Maybe at the

end of the show. Well, welcome, everyone. If it's your first time listening, welcome to Is It Just Me? Every show we start with Is It Just Me? Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't... Sorry about that. Sorry. I thought that was a sound effect. No, that's my saliva.

Yeah, it's a bit much, isn't it? Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's. I don't. Mine today is something that I've noticed. Mine is also something I noticed, and it was something I noticed in the car trip here about you. Oh, no. But you're not the only one.

I've noticed a pattern. I've given you a free lift. Yeah, I'm not negating that. Is it criticism? I have a feeling you're going to read it that way, but it purely is an observation. But you're not the only person I've noticed that does it. Is it about that door dash driver I almost hit?

No. Okay, good. That was a close call. Real close. That would have been his fault if you struck him. Thank you. I agree. As a cyclist, I couldn't believe the reckless abandon in which he just pulled out in front

of you without checking if there were any cars coming. And it wasn't like a quiet street. No. More often than not, there would be a car coming. He clearly hasn't done a city street safety lesson like you. No. I didn't see him at the cycling in the city course. No, no.

And on Anzac Day of all days. Of all days. That makes a difference. Read the room, I would have said. All right. No, no. And on Anzac Day of all days. Of all days. I don't know how that makes a difference. Read the room, I would have said. All right, well, shall we jump in? I can go first. Do you want to go first? What do you want to do?

Maybe Jenna decides. Have you got that sound effect? Oh, let me see. I've got a sound effect in front of me. I'm going to just chew this, guys. Yeah, get rid of it. That's what I did. It's ruining the vibe.

I was a guest on someone else's podcast yesterday, Jimmy and Nath. Oh, yeah. They're my competition, mind you. Yeah, I actually did say to them, it's so nice to be here with my favourite night show host. You did not. I did. You're such a bitch. It's a joke.

I beat them in the rating, so it doesn't bother me at all. But, yeah, I put one of the dry mouth lozenges in on the way, and I was like, I can't do the interview with this in my mouth. So you saw me out the front of the fucking SCA building going. Yeah, chewing it down. Trying to spit it out in the bin. You're like, shit, Mitch is nervous for this interview. With two nobodies. So why would you be nervous?

Excuse me. I'm joking. I love them. It's a bit of playful banter, you know. It's like we're friendly foes. Canada and the USA. All right. Well, you can go first.

Would you like to jump in? No. Jenna's the side. I've got the sound effect. Hold on. Here we go. Jenna decides. I want to know what's bad about you, Churi. So I'm going a choose. Jenna's decided. I've got the sound effect. Hold on, here we go. Jenna decides. I want to know what's bad about you, Churi, so I'm going to choose Coombs.

I never said it was bad. How dare you? On Anzac Day of all days. You know what's also funny? Just if you're lashing out at someone, just being like, oh, and so close to Anzac Day. Yeah, of course. As if it relates. In December.

Of all days. Could you just say, and so close, and then insert the nearest holiday? Yeah. Like, I can't believe you hit that cyclist with your car, and just after Easter. Totally. As if that affects it in any way. Just after Martin Luther King Day. Actually, we should do that.

What date does this episode come out? Monday the... April. Don't all rush and check your calendars at once. I'll fucking do it myself. I was going. Monday the 29th. Okay, let me have a quick look.

Oh, my gosh. That's Self Determination Day. Is it? Yes. How do you know that? It's so close to Self Determination Day. On this here Self Determination Day, which I've always proudly celebrated, I've never missed it.

Oh, Stephen's FaceTiming me. Sorry. Put him on. No. He's not a secret anymore. Hello? Hi, babe. Hi.

We're recording the podcast. It's Peach. Oh, look at the puppy. It's a chihuahua. He's dog-sitting. Hi. Hi. What message do you want to spread?

DLD. What? do you want to spread? DLD. What? What's DLD? Delayed Language Development Disorder. Oh, he's a speech pathologist, of course. Thank you, Stephen. We'll make sure that gets out there. Well said.

All right, say goodbye, DLD. He's not a presenter. He doesn't understand the context. He has to do context. I just Googled other celebrations today. I've got an idea of what you and Stephen can do when you get home. Oh, yeah, yeah. Will you be celebrating National Zipper Day?

There's a sound effect for that, I believe. I'm sure there is. Yes, this one. That's what my zipper sounds like these days. Jesus. I don't even know what that's meant to mean. That's what my zipper sounds like. It's such an effort to get undone.

What's wrong with the zip? WD-40 that bitch. When my zipper opens. Don't bring dolphins into this. There is nothing more awkward. Not so close to National Supply Chain Day. So close. Oh, it's also National Peace Rose Day.

Oh, God. Rose. Why does my mind go to Rose? Because you're an alcoholic. Oh, it's also National Peace Rose Day. Oh, God. Rose. Why does my mind go to rose? Because you're an alcoholic. When I came out, Mum was like, it was December 12th. She's like, it's so close to Christmas. Did she actually?

That's hilarious. I was like, you've still got 10 days. You've ruined the silly season. You could have waited until after Christmas. No, I couldn't have. I was actually quite depressed. Oi, guess what else it is the day this episode comes out? What? Fire up that chainsaw.

It's National Day of Trees. Oh, my God. Cut them down. Destroy the earth. There it goes. There it's on. Oh, shit. There's a frog in that tree.

What are you going to do? I'll get it. I got it. Don't worry. Just checking in. Are we having fun? Does it not feel like work? Yeah, we're having fun.

We're having fun. Oh! Sorry about that. Sorry, I got electrocuted. I told you the studio's still fucking up. Jenna's WeVibe 2 just went off. It's on an automated timer because it's a public holiday. She thought she'd have the privacy of her own home.

All right, where do we settle? Am I going first with mine? Is it just me? I don't give a shit. Please, just speak. Okay, here we go. Is Bradley here on the public holiday? Oh, yeah, he's in there with the brass band.

We're paying him overtime. Yeah, yeah. Go for it. Is it just me or... Can tops not use maps? Oh, my God. Now, what do you mean by that? I'll tell you what I mean by that.

We were driving here moments ago to come to the studio. We're all in the car together. You've got the map up in front of you on a fucking IMAX-sized screen in your car. Yeah. And I said to you, oh, you don't need maps. I can give directions. You said, no, no, no, don't worry. I'll just follow the map.

Yeah. Did you, though? I did. Because at one point. Did you not? You were in the car, Jenny. Did you make it here or not? I did. Because at one point... You were in the car, Jenny. Did you make it here or not? I wasn't looking at your maps.

No, so what I had to do was as we were driving there, despite the fact that the maps now have a big fucking arrow telling you which lane to be in, I had to say to you, get in the left lane, we're turning here. Oh, my God. I thought that the map was giving you a different direction and Mitchell was just trying to help you. No, the map was telling him to turn left and it had the three lanes

and it had one arrow highlighted, which was the left lane, and you ignored it. No, I didn't ignore it. Here's what happens. I don't like – I'm a lane filterer. In my mind, I'm on a moped. I'm on a motorbike. If there's a line-up of traffic, I'll go, well, that's going to open

at some point and I'm one of those cars that will just cut in. So even if – There was a huge line of cars wanting to turn left at a red light. What was your plan? Just wait at the left at a red light, what was your plan? Just wait at the front of the red light and indicate. What can they do? It's a public holiday.

It's their exact day. It's their exact day. It's what they fought for. It's their exact day. Lest we forget. I was indicating to the left. I would have always gone in. I wasn't ignoring it.

I just... No, it was very much a, oh shit, yeah, you're right. You just didn't realise because we were deep in conversation. Well, why are you throwing me, speaking of being deep of, why would you throw me and all my other community of tops in the same basket? Jenna, would you like to explain for any oblivious listeners of ours what I mean when I say top and bottom? Correct.

Oh, yeah, so a top will insert their penis. Oh, my God. Jesus, Jenna, I forgot we've got children. I thought you were going to use colourful language to embellish a little. Anyway. Insert their penis. Oh, no, no, no. You can just say, and you were going to use colourful language. Oh, sorry. Embellish a little. Anyway. Insert their noodle. Oh, no, no, no. You can just say, and I'll play a sound effect for it.

So in, yeah. They will insert their. Yep. Oh. Into. Correct. And then a bottom. Yes, will.

Receive. Cop it like a champ. In there. And love every second of it. Correct. Anyway, so the reason I'm lubing you in with that is because I've known the fucking pattern. Lubing me in? Huh? Lubing me in? You wish, mate. Although the night is young, it's a public holiday, isn't it? It is. You don't have to work. So close to

Anzac Day. Yeah. You know what? It might not just be tops. It could be straight men as well. I reckon they would both make the same mistake. Yeah. Anyone who's putting their penis in something, learn to drive. The reason I'm saying tops can't use mats is because Sean does this too yep your boyfriend as well as oscar our fourth wheel roving reporter i'm still not sure that he can claim that title but sure no he is which shocks everyone yeah um you mustn't assume that no anyway so sean will do that whenever we're driving i can see quite clearly that the map has highlighted being the left, you're merging here,

and he's just off with the fairies, no intention of turning left. And he's also the sort of person that he doesn't like making sudden manoeuvres. He's the opposite to you. Oh, no, I'll make a sudden manoeuvre. Like, I'll say, you need to be in the left lane. We're merging here. We're turning left. And he'll go, oh, oh, fuck, oh, fuck, no, there's no time.

I'm just going to have to go forward. And I was like, there actually is still time if you go left now. No, I can't, I can't. And we've had enough time to have this conversation, but he's still deemed there's not enough time to turn left and get in the right lane. He doesn't like sudden manoeuvres, so we get fucking lost all the time

because he doesn't check the arrow on the map. Got it. And same deal with Oscar. He drove me back from my Newcastle comedy gigs and fucked me dead. I was editing our podcast in the passenger seat and even I'm keeping an eye on the map being like, babe, you're turning here.

Oh, fuck, am I? What is it with tops and maps? It's making it so easy for you. Well, you know why we're so preoccupied when we're driving? Oh, here we go. No, no, no, this is why we're so not preoccupied when we're driving because during sex we have to do all the work. You get to just lie there.

That is absolutely not true. That is not true. You just get to lie there, pop in a, what is it called, a bioteen dry mouth lozenge and go to town. We have to put in the work. We've got to do the thrusting. We've got to do a lot of work to be put in. You mustn't base your opinion off the clearly too lazy,

dopey starfishes you've slept with. No, two? Excuse you. Oh, wait, I meant the two relationships. More than that. Have they all been fucking starfish? No, they have not been. But also, I'm a real power ranger.

You like to take charge. Yeah, I like to just do it. So do I, darling. Yeah. Oh, see, well, maybe. Jenna, could you leave the room for a moment? Maybe we put this to the test. We'll just fight over who's in charge. Nah, you sit still. Anyway. Alright, well, apologies to all the tops listening, Mitchell. You really mustn't discriminate. No, it's just interesting. I wonder what the connection is. Especially on the exact day.

Yeah, especially. God. You know where the most confined group of tops are? War. What? I don't know where that came from. Yeah, we need to ease up. We need to pull back on the fucking war jokes. I don't think that should ever be included.

Apologies. Especially on Anzac Day. Yeah, of course. So close to Anzac Day. Especially back then. Imagine how much harder it would have been to get around with no Google Maps, with actual arrows telling you where to go. You'd just have to figure it out yourself.

Yeah, it would have been awful get around with no Google Maps, with actual arrows telling you where to go. You'd just have to figure it out yourself. Yeah, it would have been awful. I could not have handled it. I remember one time when I was a kid, we came to Sydney because we were buying a fucking above ground pool from someone off Gumtree or something. Farming industry's doing well. I might sell myself a sheet or two. And so when we went to pick it up, mum and dad opened like, I don't know what they're called in Sydney, but it was like a big fucking phone book, but it was a map.

In Melbourne, it's called the Melways. I don't remember what the but it was like a big fucking phone book, but it was a map. In Melbourne, it's called the Melways. I don't remember what the Sydney one's called. We had it too, but it was called something. And they tried to explain it to me, how they just flicked through all these pages to figure out the route to this random person's address. And if you put a gun to my head, there's no way I could use an old school map to get around. My dad still uses it.

What? He has that big book. And it's to turn the pages as he drives. Yes. What the fuck? My mum loved it. My mum loved that book. Why?

Does he just not like the new technology? Or he's like, ah, well, it's always worked for me. Because he thinks that works better, even though lots of those roads aren't even open Yeah, I was going to say, they're constantly updating the roads. Totally. So, all right, I've got to get my canoe over the Sydney Harbour. You're like, Dad, there's a bridge there. Now, my mum used a website I can't for the life of me remember what it's called, but

you'd put in your starting address and the destination and it would print out on a computer. Like, where is? That would have been so modern at the time. Where is? However, because we didn't have devices on us, so you had a home computer only. So what you'd have to do was just print that web page.

And to me, that was like, this is the height of technology. Huge. So that's probably pre-maps, the only pre-maps tech I had. But I've always had maps when we're driving. We've always had maps. Oh, 100%. And even then, before I had Google Maps, I had a TomTom. You know, the old GPS.

Oh, I had a TomTom. The one that had the little suction plug to the window. Yes. And the touchscreen was terrible. Terrible. You had to force your finger into that thing to get it to work. Trying to type fucking anything on that was a nightmare. Horrific.

Horrific. And then it had a voice activation. It's like, I want to go to Cronulla. It's like, taking you to Venezuela. I actually hate when they talk to me. I've got my maps on mute. They never say, turn left, because I know how to read an arrow. Yes.

And then Sean blames me for him getting shit wrong when he drives my car, because he goes, I'm used to having the voice tell me where to go. I'm like, I'll fucking tell you where to go with my voice, mate, right now. You're listening to Is It Just Me? Listening on Spotify. Don't forget to leave a five-star rating. Hey, coming up in a couple of days on the next show, I have some feedback I need to give you, Mitchell.

Oh, good. Yeah, it's not an intervention, which I love to throw around. There was not one part of me that was worried about that. No, it was going to be, but I thought, fuck, this close to Anzac Day. I better not. True. So I have to talk to you about an appearance you made on another podcast. Something was said that has deeply offended me.

What? It's not appearing on my competitions podcast. I was going to say, I just told you to your face what I said about you to Jimmy and Nath, that I said that they're my favourite night show radio hosts. That's not true. But that episode hasn't come out yet. I'm not sure when it does come out. Fuck, I haven't been a guest on a podcast in ages.

Well, think about the podcasts you've been on, you've appeared on. So you'll find out in a couple of days. I'm not pissed off. I'm disappointed. And there's something I need to get from you. I'm actually really wrecking my brain. I can't remember the last time I was a guest on someone's podcast. No, that's all right.

I did a guest appearance with Trash Alley. No, God, no. I think I've got that. Matt and I were on Two Broke Chicks. That's probably the last time I was a guest on someone's podcast. No. I'm actually offended now that I think about it. I should be a guest more often.

You should, yeah. Yeah, you should. Two Girl Cats podcast hasn't pulled out for you, has it? I've genuinely. You've got a cat. I said to Jenna recently, I was like, I actually need a cat mum support group. Who do I turn to? I don't have, you know, like mother's groups and whatever, people with their babies.

I've got other people in the WhatsApp group that can ask questions. Who do I ask about my little girl? I need to confide in the Two Girls, Three Cats podcast. That's true. Because we do deliver. Deliver what? Cat stuff. Oh. I just want motherly advice. That's true, because we do deliver... Deliver what? Cat stuff. Oh.

I just want motherly advice. Oh, yeah, we can do that. I worry often. I am my mother. I worry often about whether I'm doing a good job at parenting. No, I think that's normal. That's a normal cat parenting. Now, this is the advice I want on that podcast.

But you guys are just... The banter's very good. No, but I've got specific cat-related issues that I've been writing down. I'll be like, I'll remember that when I go on the podcast. But that release has been going for a couple of years now. Why don't you book him, Jenna? Yeah, would you like to come on?

Yes, of course. I'd love to. I love you and Semi-O. Okay, I'll get my co-host to organise it because I don't organise stuff for that either. We're fucking friends, can't you just... Sure, I'll liaise with your co-host. Jesus Christ. Because I don't like to put in work. Honestly, she gets shit done. I'd rather liaise with your co-host. Jesus Christ. Because I don't like to put in work.

Honestly, she gets shit done. I'd rather liaise with her. Also, I'll do anything for press. I'll get a cat just to come on the show. I don't know if that's true because you said last week that you were going to be on Weekend Sunrise and then you pulled out because you realised you don't know shit about Taylor Swift. I cancelled the day before. They were very upset.

I was watching and I was waiting. You cancelled. Who did they get on instead? I don't know. No one could replace me so I think they just had to play it for an hour. They just didn't cover the Taylor Swift album. They said, unfortunately, Mitchell's pulled out. Anyway, so I've upset you and we're going to find out on Wednesday what I said on another podcast.

Also, brand new mispronunciations. We haven't done them in a long time. I'd say almost a year. And if you're new, listen, our mispronunciations were our bread and butter after we discovered that I couldn't say, well, allegedly couldn't say blind. You've gotten a bit better. You used to really, really exaggerate. Instead of saying blind, you'd say blind. I think because I was worked up and I'd go blind.

I was yelling, but now it's more blind. Now it sounds like one drawn out syllable, but before it was definitely two. Blind. It's still wrong. Blind. Yeah, that's two syllables. It's blind. I do still feel, I'm not actually putting it on. I do think I'm saying blind. I'm saying the same word you are. Well, I think you're firend.

No, we can't. I'm pretty sure that blinds video is how a lot of fucking idiots came to be. They saw that on TikTok and started listening. So we're going back to base. Yep. This is our bread and butter. Three new mispronunciations are coming up. Three?

Yeah, I've got three. Wow. Yeah, I've got three. I just got to strap in for a lot of surprises on Wednesday. Yeah, you don't know what's going on. This public holiday has worked well for you. You've never brought this much to the table. What?

I mean, I don't work. It's fantastic. I can actually think. Yeah. Can you pass an Anzac cookie? Yeah, all right. Oh, but you're about to do an idjim. Do you want to have crumbs off of your mouth as well as lube?

No, I wouldn't be the first time. That made no sense. Bradley, hurry up. Hey, we're not going to y lube? No, I wouldn't be the first time. That made no sense. Bradley, hurry up. Hey, we're not going to yucky yum. No, don't. Is it just me or? Should phone companies be contractually and legally obliged to call you back if the phone gets disconnected?

It should be a legal requirement. If I'm on the phone to Optus, if I'm on the phone to Telstra, if I'm on the phone to any company. if I'm on the phone to Telstra, if I'm on the phone to any company. Oh, right, so you're calling them. Especially if they want me to call them to pay a bill, to give them any of my money, to discuss a dispute, and then we're on hold for 20, 30, 40 minutes. You finally get through to them.

You talk. Oh, what a nightmare. And then we've all been there. The phone gets disconnected. Whether it be you, whether you accidentally hang up if you've got AirPods in, or, you know, hey, sometimes you've got to lock your phone, but then it just hangs up. Or just the fact that increasingly mobile phone reception is so fucked. A call will just fail mid-call for no reason.

I'm mid-sentence. The reception is crystal clear. I can hear everything. And then boop, boop, boop. Yep. It's getting worse. I'm like, what? I haven't moved.

Yeah, the bars would go 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and then it would cut out. But now it's like 5g you're streaming avatar gone so they don't buzz you back no have you not been in that experience where the phone line drops out and then they do not call you back i'm pretty sure i actually did get a call back when you're on the phone to an actual person from there not when you're and you've already passed so many fucking checkpoints oh my god pressed one for this press two for that mum's made a name different people whatever first dog's genitalia and then you have to go back to the start fuck that and Oh, my God. Pressed one for this. Pressed two for that. Mums made a name. Connected to different people, whatever. First dog's genitalia.

And then you have to go back to the start. Fuck that. And it's the worst. And it's always that gamble of you get disconnected and then I wait. I go, they'll call back. This happened to me this week. I was on the phone to Service New South Wales because I got a speeding fine, which probably shouldn't have said that off the back of your region.

That's the other thing I noticed while you were driving just quietly. Press six if you're a top. Six. Anyway, we got to the pointy end. They put you through to just some bossy bottom to give you a lecture. Oh, my God. Listen here, sweetheart. It worked. The fuck you think you're doing?

That's so funny. So, we were talking like, all right, give me your driver's license number and we'll process this payment. I had to pay it. Anyway. Oh, were you trying to dispute it? No, no, no. I was paying it, but I wanted to put it on a payment plan

because I don't pay it up front because I hate them. That's actually a fun item on the fly. I haven't had enough speeding fines to work up a grudge about the payment system. Oh, I've got so many. So if you're fined $300, you can because they can't take the money from you in one go. Not everyone can pay $300 in one sitting.

Yeah, that makes sense. So you can choose your own. I feel like you probably could. Well, yes, but I also hate the service New South Wales. But, you know, if you just pay it on the app, you don't have to talk to anyone. So if you hate service New South Wales, you've actually just created an opportunity for more fucking

conversation with them. But I also like money. So I don't want all that money out of my account, you know? So anyway, I said I want to pay $5 a week. Oh, you can name the price. Yeah. Interesting. And they go, well, Matt, can we suggest $10?

We think that's more. And I'll go, $7. Meet you in the middle. Like, I'm negotiating with this woman. So we finally get to the terms. It's like a 20-week whatever. There's no interest. And she goes, all right, let me get your driver's license number.

And I go to get my phone, and I accidentally hang up. Oh, fuck. I'm thinking, this woman, right, is sitting at her desk with her headset on. She's already got the form up. She's got the form up. And she woman, right, is sitting at her desk with a headset on. She's already got the form up. She's got the form up. And she goes, oh, well, did she just fucking pick up her laptop, put it in a bin and start fresh? Because it's a waste of her time too. Waste of her time.

She knows where I've called from. She's got my details in front of her. She could just call me back and she never fucking did. If I was in that situation, I definitely would have called back just to be like, oh, I better buzz him back. Right? And also, I've got all the information up already. Yeah, because I would hate leaving the task half done. Yes, me too.

But also, maybe she had a fucking queue of calls to get through and she's like, ah, well, snooze your lose, asshole. Yeah, but isn't that really rude? And you know what? So close to an attack task. Oh, for fuck's sake. You know what's interesting, though? You not wanting to pay all that money at once.

I'm the opposite. Oh, why? Because I prefer to just rip that money at once. I'm the opposite. Oh, why? Because I prefer to just rip the bandaid off and then my conscience is clear. I have no debts. The other day, I just paid the remaining of my fucking student loan. Oh, your hex? Yeah. Because it's about to be indexed.

Well, it already has been. Last time I checked it, it was like fucking seven grand left. And I was like, oh, I could probably just pay the seven. I reckon I'd be okay to do that. And then I think I was with mum and dad at the time. They were like, nah, nah, don't do that, don't do that. Just let it pay off gradually, whatever. And they taught me out of it.

And then I checked it recently and it had gone up to 8.5 grand. And so I was like, fuck this. I'm just going to do it in one go. But now I've had to tighten the belt a bit. I feel good knowing that debt is clear, but fuck, eight grand missing from the account. That's a bit of a dent, isn't it? Yeah, but I've thought the exact same thing

because it's about to be re-indexed at a higher percent rate. So it gets indexed every year. What's your student debt? My student debt was at three grand. It's gone down. I was going to say, you only did one year of uni, right? No, I did one year of uni, but I did three different, I did three semesters at three different degrees.

So I've got essentially a year worth of HECS debt. Wait, so did you like start accounting and then went, this sucks, I'm going to do marketing, this sucks? I mean, yes, but not of Hex debt. Wait, so did you like start accounting and then went, this sucks. I'm going to do marketing. This sucks. I mean, yes, but not those degrees, no. What were they? I did civil engineering.

Since when? Hair design. Did you? And dentistry. Dentistry? No, Mitchell, I didn't do any of that. As if I did any of that. I believed you.

Me doing dentistry. You doing hair design. No, I can imagine you dropping out of dentistry. Yes, yes, yes. No, I did, oh my God, I did Bachelor of Media Communications and Journalism, double degree. And then I went, this is not for me. So I did a performing arts theatre degree at the University of Wollongong. Yeah.

Didn't work. So then I went to the Australian Institute of Music and did an acting degree. The music industry? Hey, the Australian Institute of Music, yeah. They do acting? Yeah. I would have thought that would be NIDA, National Institute of Dramatic Arts. I did a short course at NIDA, many short courses.

We've all done a short course at NIDA. I got into WAPA, but I didn't want to move to WA. Did you? Yes, but I didn't want to move to WA. You should have. Why not? Because I'm pretentious and I want to be in Sydney. You know, I hate living in Sydney.

So you moved to New York. So I moved to New York instead. Yes, there's the logic there. I went and studied acting in New York. But that's not Hexed Out. I had to pay that all up front. That's a loan from my dad that I have not paid back yet. Is he keeping tabs? Is he charging interest? I moved there for, yeah.

How much do you owe him? 30 grand? Holy fuck. Maybe 20? I don't remember. I paid my rent because I worked at Coles. I had the highest scan rate in the region. And I moved to New York, paid my rent and accommodation. Dad paid for the school, but I paid for food and everything. Okay.

Paying for rent and accommodation, that's pretty impressive actually. It was a sublet. It was a whole thing. I'm still on New York City sublets and everyone's like, brand new, Hoboken apartment. Can't afford rent. Are you just unsubscribed to those emails? Really good point, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, no, you make a great point. No, what you'll do is you'll fucking call them and stay on hold, have a chat about it. No, no, please no. And you could just click a button. Anyway, if you work in a telephone room or in telemarketing, please let us know what the protocol is because I'm sure we have one idiot

that works. Oh, yeah, surely. We got a post in our Facebook group, Enduring Idiots, from Summer. She's talking about your crutch, how you keep saying, totally, totally. Yeah, well, it's not a crutch. It was a day I was very hyper bored. Summer said, if it makes you feel better, Cheery, I was called out yesterday by a customer

with a phrase that I always say. This is Summer's crutch. I say to customers, not a problem. When booking in jobs, and yesterday I had a customer who lost power, and I said, that's not a problem. We'll get it sorted this afternoon. And she responds with, what do you mean it's not a problem? It is a fucking problem.

Yes. See, she autopilots too when she's doing the phones. You should listen to my radio show. I have. I can't think of anything worse. Fuck off. I have so many crutches. Sorry, I'll be listening to Jimmy and Nate.

No, you're not. Why are we plugging them? They're my competition. Yeah, I know, but we love them. No, we don't. You said earlier it was playful. Yeah, but every time we mention their name, someone gets more interested. I're my competition. Yeah, I know, but we love them. No, we don't. You said earlier it was playful. Yeah, but every time we mention their name, someone gets more interested. I prefer Jam Nation. What? That's Jonesy and Amanda. Yeah, but I don't have to give money

because I didn't say their name. Fair enough. Oh, fuck. What a loophole. Oh, yeah. True. Remember how we started doing a fucking swear jar, but every time she mentions Jonesy and Amanda, Amanda, whatever. Well, you don't have to pay. We don't, because it's just Jenna's rule. Yeah, it only applies to her. Anyway, what were you saying? I don't remember. I'd actually like to go home. You said you should listen to my radio show and I said can't be anything worse. Oh, I just know that I've got crutches. Whenever I've got a call and I've got to get rid

of them, I've given them a prize. I'm like, alright, we'll get that prize out to you, honey. Thanks. That's all. I say that every night. Nah, and you know what you do. What? Alright, we'll get it out to you, okay? Oh, do I? Okay. But I find that kind of reassuring and comforting. The okay. Yeah, okay. All right, okay.

I like that. And I always fire off the next song. It's a whole thing. Yeah. Anyway. All right. Thanks for your idjim. Who was that?

Oh, that was me. It was my aunt, yeah. Should we get a caller on now? Is it just me Monday after all? Yeah, let's do it. Let's dial up a call. Let's go. So this is your chance to have an Ijem of your own.

Yes. Let's go to the Shire today. Again? We were in the Shire last week. I know. It's just how the cookie crumbles, doesn't it? How the Anzac cookie crumbles. I'm noticing a bias from you.

No, it's not. No, I don't know. Just, you know, as a local Shire personality. Oh, I know what's happening here because if a listener comes on with an Is It Just Me of their own, they get a fucking prize from Pricekeeper Jenna. Yes. You got it. This is my auntie.

You're favoring the blade. This is your auntie. She's selling them on eBay so she can pay rent. All right. Let's dial her up. Who are we calling, though? Caitlin. I kind of need to know that.

Caitlin and Cronulla. Caitlin and Cronulla. Caitlin with a K. Cronulla with a C. Okay. Gorgeous. All right. Let's go.

So she's noticed or hated or appreciated something. Let's find out. Hello? Hello, is that Caitlin? Hello? Hi. This is Caitlin. Hi, darling.

What have we interrupted you doing today? It's public holiday after all. Oh, actually, we've just been to the gym. My boyfriend's now dead asleep and we're about to get ready and go to my mum's for dinner. Oh, that sounds like a lovely day. That'd be nice. Caitlin, I'm a Cronulla boy. Do we know each other?

Yeah, we went to high school together. I was in a couple of years below you, though. Oh, my God. Wait, so is this during Churi's reign as school captain? Yes. Yeah, I was there when he was school captain. I did drama and Churi came and helped me with my final performance for my HSC. Oh, my God.

Is that ringing any bells? Oh, Caitlin, do you want to say your surname? We can bleep it out. Yeah, it's... Oh, yes. Oh, my God. Caitlin. I don't think he's fully placed you.

I do. I do. You were a band five at best, to be honest. I was really worried for your performance. No, I did get a band five. There you see. I'd be stoked with a band five. I'm a good tutor. I was really worried for your performance. No, I did get a band five. There you see. I'd be stoked with a band five. I'm a good tutor.

Was I a good teacher? Did I tutor you well? Yeah, because before you came in, it was a fucking shit show of a performance. And then you came in and you went, no, you're a bartender who's in her late 40s and it changed everything. Wow. And I still give that advice to this day. You do?

I just walk out and go, no, you're a bartender and you're in your mid-40s. If Jenna had a dollar for every time you told her. Totally. Jenna, I'd just quit your job. I'd be a billionaire. Just be a bartender in your mid-40s. Oh, I'm happy for you. And are you in the arts industry now, Caitlin?

I'm actually a drama teacher now. So I stayed in it. Fuck now. Wow. Because of you. Do you think I was the inspiration behind that a little, Caitlin? I would give it more to the drama teacher that we had, Pan. Got it.

Well, she didn't repair your fucking performance like Thierry did, did she? No, she tried. Useless, Pan. No, no. She was seriously like, do whatever you want. And then Thierry was like, don't do whatever you want. Wow. Maybe you could be a drama teacher if all this media stuff goes tits up and you've had enough.

I'd be a brilliant drama teacher. Could you go to uni for a few years to become a teacher? No, I wouldn't. I don't need to. You wouldn't do that. I could just write on the laurels of my radio success. No, you would just say you did. Yeah, 100%.

I'd just gaslight. You would convince yourself. No, I'd act. I'd act. Anyway, well, what a small world. I see you're around Cronulla. Are you still living down in the Shire? No, I recently just moved into my partner's parents' house,

so we're saving up for a house. Oh, okay. That's very packed to the rafters of you. Yeah. Yeah, it's a journey. All right, well, listen, sounds like she wants to have a little nap before dinner at Mum's. Yeah, we better.

So, listen, Bradley will count you in, then you hit us with your Is It Just Me, okay? All right. Is it just me or? Are married men absolutely fuck? Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

Not all men. No, not all married people. Why do you say that? Well, I have a fuck story that I know Coombs is going to enjoy. Perfect. Great. Perfect. So I've got to take you back to 2017 when I'm fresh out of high school.

I'm like sexy as anything and I've just gotten out of a long-term relationship. Well, that's why I was tutoring you. Let's be real. I was trying to sleep with you, Caitlin. Don't say that. What do you mean? Just the grooming students. Sorry.

Sorry. That's not what I meant. Fuck. Just a poor joke. Sorry, Caitlin. Continue. So it didn't work out with the high school sweetheart? No, no.

He was crazy. Anyway, that's a whole other thing. Anyway, I was on Tinder, which is a very scary place. But when you're 18, it's like the place to be. So I obviously, coming out of a high school relationship, wanted to date an older man, probably because of daddy issues. But again, another thing. So I ended up matching with this guy and he's in his late 20s.

He's really good looking. The profile is legit. We've had some really nice chat and we decided to go on a date. So anyway, he picks me up and we go and get ice cream. And when we get to the shop... What is it about an older man taking a younger girl for ice cream that seems creepy? The ice cream element makes it sound like you're being treated as a child. There's a little off.

Just you wait because it's like seriously a journey. It's so crazy. Anyway, we get to this shop and he's taking forever to get out of his car. And I'm like, is something wrong? Anyway, I walk around the car and this man is sitting there putting on his prosthetic leg. Oh. The thing was he never brought it up.

And when I looked back at his profile, all of his photos were from the waist up. But wait, when you say putting it on, had he driven you to the shop or was that where you were meeting up? No, he picked me up, but, like, his car had this, like, special pedal thing that he hooked into. Oh, so you didn't notice. You didn't realise. I had no idea because he had long pants on.

I had absolutely no idea. Yeah, of course. Okay, right. So then you get around to the side, he's putting his leg in. What did he say? So I was like, oh, oh, I didn't know. And he was like, yeah, I actually don't tell people because I feel like it either scares them off or, like, some people are, like, really weird about it. And he was like, yeah, I actually don't tell people because I feel like it either scares them off or like some people are like really weird about it.

That's a bit sad. I would lead with that on my profile. I'd be like, fucking look at me, Jake the pig over here. Oh, my God. That would be in my bio. I'd be like Oscar Pistorius, but nice. Yeah. Well, I was like, okay, that's kind of cool.

And then like I had no issues with it. It was actually kind of like a nice thing to talk about. Yeah, it's cute. Like, then we had something to talk about. So, anyway, I'm like, it's going well. We end up getting the ice cream. We go and drive and sit somewhere. We're having, like, a pretty normal conversation.

And then he goes, like, what do you think about polyamorous relationships? Oh, no. Oh, here we go. That's date one, chat. Yeah. I was like, I'm more of a monogamous girl myself. Especially at age 18 or 19, whatever you were. Yeah.

Yeah, I was like 18. So I was like, no, it's not really my vibe. He goes, well, yeah, I'm married and I'm looking for a girlfriend. Oh, my God. And I was like, oh, does your wife know? And he was like, yes, she has a boyfriend as well. We're in an open marriage. Like, it's the whole thing.

It's still something. Like, the leg, that's fine that he didn't flag that. That's his business. But the marriage, now, you really should have mentioned that on Tinder, buddy. Yes, I know. And I was like, look, I'm happy for you. That works for you guys. I'm not interested.

Anyway, he drops me home. I never speak to him again. But then two years ago, I'm single again. I'm on Tinder and he obviously sees me on Tinder and he messages me on Snapchat because that's what we talked on, which like I would never do that anymore. Classic 18-year-olds. That's great. He messaged me and he was like, we're having a chat.

He gives me his Instagram. We follow each other on Instagram. What was the first message? How do you break the ice after all those years? Hey, me again. Yeah. He was like, hey, just saw you on Tinder. Are you single again?

And I was like, oh. And I knew straight away who it was. I remember his name because he has a very unique name. What a confidence boost, though, to be like two years later, he's still pining over you. This is two years ago. Two years ago. Yes, you're right.

Yeah. So it was like five years later. Wow. More impressive. It was really unforgettable, understandable. So he asked me again, like, how do you feel about polyamorous relationships? And I was like, look, I'm still, that's not my vibe.

I'm looking for someone to, like down with and he was like no worries so i'm a nosy bitch and i go on his profile i find his wife on instagram and i go something is not right about this man so i messaged her oh my god it's getting juicy yeah and i said hi i know this is really weird and all respect to you if you are, but are you in an open relationship in your marriage? Oh, my God. Because your husband is sending me these types of messages. And about five years ago we went on a date and she said, no,

you are not the first person to come to me about this. I'm about to file for divorce. Oh, my God, that's such a good story. Which means that he's going to be available soon. No. My God, this is like sisters looking out for each other. I love that multiple women had come forward and flagged it. Like, sis, is this your man?

Is that the Facebook group? Yes. Oh, my God. Sis, is this your man? So clearly she'd known for a couple of years before or maybe a few months because she's filed for divorce. Wow. Well, yeah, she must have.

And in this time period that we hadn't spoken, they'd also had a child because they had photos of the kid as well. So I was like, he's been cheating on her for at least five years, probably more, thinking that they're in some sort of open relationship and manipulating other girls. But, yeah, it was a whirlwind. Oh my God. What an absolute piece.

Now that's what we want from our issue callers. I'd argue the best we've had all year. I'm glad that that wife is just going to run for the hills because fuck knows she can't. No, yes. Get out of there, girlfriend. Yeah. Oh, brilliant story, Caitlin. Thank you, guys.

I knew you guys would like it. Can I just say, I take a bit of credit for that. I've taught you the art of storytelling and I really think I heard a lot of Mitch Turi in that story being told. Totally. We really had a beginning, middle, and end. No, there was no embellishing. No, there was no, well, you never know.

You never know. Screwing in the leg seems a bit silly. I mean, I doubt they screw in, you know. Oh, Caitlin, we'll send you out a prize. Yes, definitely. To the prizekeeper Jenna, okay? Perfect. Thanks, guys.

Not that it's any of my business, by the way, but are you still single? No, I am. Oh, that's right. You mentioned the fucking partner. Yeah, she's going to dinner. We've been through a journey. I completely forgot about the start of the conversation. There's a lot going on.

He's napping, remember? Yeah, yeah. He's napping. Or is he? Is he hooking up with other women? You never know. Wake him up to prove that he's a faithful man. He's not a mannequin.

Put him on. All right, Caitlin, thanks for listening. We love you. Thanks, darling. Thank you. Bye. Oh's not a mannequin. Put him on. All right, Caitlin, thanks for listening. We love you. Thanks, darling. Thank you. Bye. Oh, so cute. What a sweetheart.

If you've got a story like that, that is the bar that we want to set for our Is It Just You callers. You can DM us on a couple of matches or you can text us on this number. 042-948-202 042-948-202 Oh 422 948 202 Send us a text

Yes please do I'm loving this streak of hectic callers A lot of relationship stuff It's good though, people get fucked in relationships Famously Yes, people want to know the ins and outs Of my last fallout So maybe I just call the show as an is-it-just-you caller.

We could put on a voice disguise thing. We could. I could just do a theatrical voice. Or you give someone else a script. And none of our idiots will ever know that it's actually your story. And I'd react, oh, my, that's a really good way. No, but also we wouldn't know either because you've sourced the call. Yeah, but, Jenny, you'd be like, that sounds strikingly –

you'd be like, Mitch, are you okay? Is this a trigger warning? Do you need a trigger warning for this story? PTSD. All right, shall we go? Sure, if you want to. I personally am just having so much fun. No, it's a very fun episode.

Yeah. I'm completely lubed up. So is my mouth. So, I mean, you can keep going if you'd like. No, we'll end it. Yeah, okay. We can go. It's a big show in a couple of days, the big intervention, and then, of course, three new mispronunciations. So it we'll end it. Let's end it. Yeah, okay. We can go. It's a big show in a couple days.

The big intervention and then, of course, three new mispronunciations. So it is an intervention now. Yeah, it's just a nice word for me to throw around. It's more of a repatriation. There's a war word for you. I knew that this was some sort of revenge because of the totally thing. It's not revenge. Yeah.

It's just, you know, popcorn. I feel like you would have let it slide if not for me calling you out for saying totally. I wouldn't have said slide when I mislooped up. No. Hey, let's go. We'll see you guys in a couple of days. Have a great public holiday. It's been and gone.

You'll be listening to these days. Well, the next one, which is, of course, National Linguini Day. Thanks for listening, idiots. We'll catch you soon. Bye. Bye. Bye. Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief, our secret segment on the end. We pretend the show's done, but then we just go a bit rogue. I'm so glad you said that. Some ADD people just letting their minds go fucking anywhere. Now, since when has Sprite been lemon and lime? Oh, we've talked about this on the podcast.

I reckon it was a couple of years ago. It was when Star McGowan was here instead of Jenna. Oh, yeah. I think we spoke about that. She's been banned from the show, so she won't return. Has she? Yeah, I banned her. Oh, I feel like I should be abreast of the ban.

No, she's unbanned officially. What was that for? Rose McGowan being unbanned from the show. I'm sure she'll sleep better at night now. Yeah, of course she will. We've got another. Actually, we didn't get a post in the Facebook group. I created this post because last episode you alluded to the fact that Casey Donovan wants you

dead. She absolutely cannot stand you. The sight, the sound, the smell, nothing. She's repulsed by you. She thinks you're terrible. I'm not interrupting because they're all true. But we beeped out what actually happened. You didn't want to elaborate. And so I put a post in the Facebook group. Let's start a speculation thread. Why do you think Australian sweetheart Casey Donovan can't stand Mitchell Louise Cheery? There's a few theories.

Do you want to go have a look? Is it in the Facebook? Yeah, I mentioned that. Yeah. Are we still on the podcast? Totally. I'm trying to find it. Copycat some dumb posts on this page.

Hi, everyone. Does anyone use natural map? He's like, shut up. I'm trying to find it. Copy, get some dumb posts on this page. Hi, everyone. Does anyone use natural mappies? Like, shut up. The wrong page for that shit. No, it's not. They're amongst friends, our idiots. They can post about anything they damn well please. No, I'm just teasing.

They know I'm teasing. Where is it? Actually, here's an intervention on our idiots. Our Facebook group gets more engagement than our actual Instagram and Facebook page. So to the general public that aren't in the group, it looks like we have no fucking fans. But in the Facebook group, which is private, not everyone can see that. Oh, it fires up. We get heaps of engagement.

Start commenting on our posts, please. Please. If you're not a good look. If you don't also follow our Facebook group page. Yeah. I mean, who gives a fuck about the Facebook page? But our Instagram. I can't find it.

Just fucking use my phone. I found it. I found it. It's at the top. It actually says most relevant. All right. So you've asked, why does Casey Donovan hate Mitch Turi? Here are some of the best suggestions as per the idiots.

Dean Barnes suggested he ran his mouth off and said something stupid. Didn't he? Getting warmer. It's got eight likes. Jessica Scott said, is it like the Alicia Keys story and he somehow insulted her during an interview? I don't think you insulted Alicia Keys. You never said to her face that you could smell her shit.

No, Alicia Keys just did poo in front of me. Callum Cantrell, he says he was the one calling her for six years. Oh, my God, you were the catfish? Casey Donovan was catfish. I've mentioned. For six years How does he know? You're in the clear

Because they're pretty sure it was a woman in the end, wasn't it? I think so Yes Elise Nyla says Maybe Kerri-Ann got in her ear Oh, because Well, Kerri-Ann hates you, not me Nah, it was you, remember?

On TV Oh, yeah Because you called her Kerri And she was like Ah, ah, golden retriever Yes And you were like, I thought you were a woman. Yeah, that was awful.

Joshua Ryan Cool says he said something obnoxious and offensive as a joke. Shut up, Joshua. Getting warmer. Xander Cross, I thought I blocked him from the page, move on. Tash Duff says she's jealous. We do kind of look alike, especially in my bigger days. Matt Fudge says kept telling her different establishments and giving away free refreshments.

Oh, yeah, because of the Coke story. Oh. Coke land or not. Really angry email from Coke CEO, Kim Coke. My God. I did. She was pissed. Someone also, Christine, suggested that maybe you both auditioned

for the role in Ann Juliet. Oh. I don't know why she'd be pissed at you because Casey got the lead role. You're just doing a purely guest thing. Are you still doing that? Yes, that is actually. Do you even talk in it or not? No, I don't have a speaking role.

Oh, I thought that there was something. Here's what I'm nervous about. It's meant apparently in the UK version, the New York version, they had a famous, famous radio or TV presenter come out. So the fact of the matter is they're watching the show and it's during a lull where they're lining up to get into a club and the doors open and like a couple walk out and then they walk into the club. So the doors open, it's kicked open and it's a celebrity that everyone knows and loves,

right? Yeah, it's meant to be like a surprise. Oh my God, it's Koshi! Yeah. But I'm terrified I'm going to kick the door open and everyone's going to go, fuck, that extra's gotoshy. Yeah. But I'm terrified I'm going to kick the door open. Everyone's going to go, fuck, that extra's got some gall. Well, I don't think that they promised everyone in the audience of the musical that night, hey, keep an eye out.

There's a huge star making a cameo. I think it's meant to be a surprise. And so if they don't know who you are, that's fine. If you pull the role off well, it'll be seamless. Whereas those that are coming to see you, I think the idea is that you talk about it and people buy tickets. Ah. I mean, Jenna and I, we're ready to go.

We've got the BSB and account number. We're ready to pay. We'll be there. All right. Leave it with me. When it happens, do you want me to go, woo? No. Oh, my God.

Okay. I'm going to go, who? No, please don't. I'll go, Mitchell K. That'd be very funny. Anyway, so, yeah, that is happening, but it's going through the whole radio team. You know how slow things are. But you've said yes?

Yeah. Okay. I have said yes. And you don't have a date yet? No. Okay. But they're not in Sydney for much longer. Well, then I think it sounds like it's going to happen soon.

Yeah. We'll let you know, idiots, if you're in Sydney and want to come along to the theatre. We'll make it a little excursion. Oh, that's how you plug it, Mitchell. Well done. See? Enjoy that one. Okay.

That was my radio sign-off. Enjoy that, honey. We'll get that prize out to you. Okay. Oh, no. It's like, we'll get it out to you, okay? We'll get it out to you, okay? Don't like it.

You don't like it? I like it. I like it. I said I liked it. It's reassuring. That's nice. Thank you. Yeah.

It feels like you're clutching me to your boozy and giving me a gorgeous cuddle. Yeah. Okay? It'll be all right. I'll get your prize to you, okay? I was at a pub the other night and some twit- What? That's feels like you're clutching me to your boozy and giving me a gorgeous cuddle. Yeah. Okay? It'll be all right. I'll get your prize to you, okay? I was at a pub the other night and some twink- What? That's not like you.

I know, right? It was with the family, so that makes sense. Some twink ran up to me. You're at the bistro. He was like, Mitch, Jimmy, you got me through my agency. Really? And I was like, what do you mean? What is with you educating the next generation?

Oh, fuck the country. Screw it. And I was like, what do you mean? And he's like, I used to listen to Mitch till midnight when I was studying. Wow. He's up late. Back when I the country. Screw it. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, oh, you used to listen to Mitch Till Midnight when I was studying. Wow. He's up late. Back when I had the late night show. Yeah, and he used to listen.

Isn't that sweet? Yeah. You forget the impact you have. I'm not Mandela. Nelson. Nelson. Yeah, yeah. Not that one.

Don't say that. Not so close to Wednesday. Exactly. Of course. All right, I'll try one of those cookies now. Oh, all right. Yeah, that's fine. What about these sandwiches that I made?

I'll have a sandwich. I prefer savoury. Okay, here you go. So you tried to tell me and convince Jenna and I, actually, that when we were at your house, what seems like four hours ago. It wasn't even that long ago. You made these sandwiches, but they are... Especially with how fast you drive here.

I did drive. Well, we needed to get here. See, now, look at the inconsistencies, Jenna. This one has two, but you drive a ham one. I'm good. Yeah, there's ham and cheese. There's egg and lettuce. And I tried to convince you that I made these sandwiches.

You believed that I made the cookies. You were like, oh, my God, this is so sweet. I posted the videos on my Instagram story. If you missed it, I might pop it in the Facebook group as well, me trying to prank these two. I don't even know if it's a prank. I was just trying to seem really hospitable and like, oh, my God, the effort he's made.

I love it. But I still went and picked them up especially. Yeah, of course. If you hadn't told me, the effort he's made. I love it. But I still wouldn't pick them up especially. Yeah, of course. If you hadn't told me, I would have thought that you'd done it. Well, it's because you put it on a baking tray. Yeah, I really committed and you believe me at the cookies, but then as soon as I brought out the fucking sandwiches, you were like, they're from 7-Eleven. Like you even knew the store that they were from.

I believed you with the sandwiches. I know. Really? Actually, my brain wanted to say BP, but I said 7-Eleven or something. I nailed it. It was specifically 7-Eleven. I love a servo, Sanger, honestly. Oh, yes, ma'am.

Servo sushi? Uh-uh. Yeah, especially in country towns. I'm like, where did that fucking fish come from? Did you mind the fly? Or is Woolworth's sushi not- I don't think I've had it. I don't trust it.

Oh, why? I don't trust it. Yeah, but I see them making it and they look legit. It's like going to Freedom Furniture and they're like, hey, we also sell tacos at the back. That's some Aldi shit right there. 100%. The Aldi special buys. I get so sold into it.

Oh, yeah. Go shopping at Aldi for milk and bread and they're like, we also have kayaks on our free. It's a special buy. I saw a trumpet and I almost bought it. Yeah, my fucking grandmother in Sydney calls home once when Nicole and I were still living there growing up. Nicole played clarinet. I played violin.

Yeah, I remember. I bought you a violin. Yeah. For your birthday. No, it wasn't for my birthday. Anyway, yeah, my nan calls my mother and goes, guess what? They're selling violins and clarinets at Aldi at the moment. Mum's like, of course they bloody are.

Nan's like, do you want me to grab them for Nicole and Mitch? Mum's like, no, they already own one of each because they've been learning for years. We've got them at a very reputable music instrument shop. So no, we don't need the Aldi ones. But now I'm curious. I wonder if they were all right. If you bought one, let us know. It was years ago, but yeah. No, I'm sure they're still. The trumpet was only a couple of months ago.

Why do they just roll a dice? What are we doing this time? I saw on TikTok some woman being like, rush into Audi, cookie, giant cookie that you put in the microwave and it's like the size of a basketball. Oh, I saw that too. Yeah. So I raced into Audi. I went to my local Audi. I'm like, hi, I've seen the giant cookie.

I did race in. I sped there, took all the wrong turns and then had anal sex. It was great. Using my penis. Anyway, so I, God, if anyone just wanted to listen to the end of the show and heard that, that makes, there's a joke referencing the early. I bet they skipped it. What a sick fuck.

We don't need to know. No, no. It's a funny joke. I promise in context. Anyway, I'm like. It wasn't even that funny. It really wasn't. I want to get the cookie.

And this girl who was like, fucking thought you'd she was Annalise Alley for fuck's sake. She was like, oh, you saw that on TikTok? I'm like, yeah. She's like, you're on British TikTok. You're on BritTalk. I'm like, what do you mean? Was she also British? No.

Oh, okay. She lives around the corner. And she was like, this happens all the time. You'd be surprised. What you've done is you've gotten the TikTok from another country. We don't sell that. We don't sell that. Oh, so they thought it was available in Australia too.

The video was going viral in Australia. Were there accents in the video? Nope. I bet there were. I think I've just had a mild stroke from that sandwich from the petrol station. What do you mean? They're gorgeous. Do you know that in America they don't say petrol station?

Yeah, the gas station. Gas station. They also don't let you fill it up yourself. An attendant has to do it. No. I think it's law. Fuck me. Jenna, Google that.

That's not real. No, it was because I remember when I was staying with a friend in America, her mum was driving us somewhere and we were sitting there waiting ages, waiting for the attendant. And I was trying to be nice, being like, do you want me to fill it up? She goes, no, you're not allowed to here. Oh, in some states. Certainly not in California or New York.

I was in New Jersey. Oh, that's a different state, in California or New York. Why within New Jersey? Oh, that's a different state, isn't it? I don't know. Probably. But in America, no, because I've definitely filled up in America. Really? You pay before. Get this.

Oh, yeah. And then you've got to just guess. Here we go. New Jersey remains the sole state not to allow gas self-service. Oh, fuck. I was about to yell at you. But it wasn't all of America. Okay, interesting.

Well, New Jersey's, I've never been to New Jersey. So there you go. Okay, interesting. Well, but yeah, so the mind fuck of it all is in all of America, you pay before you fill. So I'd go up, it's like, how much you want? I'm like, I don't know, how much do I need? Yeah, because what if you pay a hundred bucks, but your tank only fits 80 worth? Do you get credit?

No, your card, it puts a hold of $100, I think, and then say you get to $95, it charges you $95. And then you pull out. Yes, correct. Yes. Yeah, apparently. But it's very stressful. So you don't get ripped off if you pull out early?

No, no. Depends on- Well, that's a relief. Yeah, no. It is, isn't it? Yeah. Sometimes you have to. Thank God.

Yeah. Anyway, shall we go? Yeah, okay. We can go. We probably should go. We've really waff Thank God. Yeah. Anyway, shall we go? Yeah, okay, we can go. I think we should go. We've really waffled on. Yeah. Oh, it just flew by because we're having so much fun. We are having fun.

It's been a lot of fun. Well, we hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today. That's all. Just 2%. So we do. Okay. Okay, yeah. Yes.

Good luck to you, honey. Catch you on Wednesday, you dig it? See you soon, guys. Bye, Barb. See you. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches.

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