Is It Just Me? - #208: Get Off!!

Episode Date: May 14, 2024

In this episode: Dumbing down public transport (07:37) Do shoe shops have off vibes? (13:09) TikTok School - The kitchen fan humming trend (18:06) A team meeting about the future of Pig Week (29:11) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (41:20)   Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you. Hello you. Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. You've really pissed me off. I'm not speaking now. That actually really suits me. Now here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coombs. Hello you. Hi you. Hello idiots. Sorry, that's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coons. Hello, you. Hi, you.

Hello, idiots. Sorry, that's me shaking things up. I said hi instead of hello. Mitch, I haven't noticed. I said hi, you. Instead of hello, you? Just then, yep. I think, do I say hello every week?

Yeah. Hello, you. Hey, you. Yeah, you're right. I just say hello, you. How are you? How are you? Also, we've never really clocked that it's the same thing as that murderer series, You.

It's all about hello, you. Oh, is it? Yeah, that murderer series, You. It's all about, hello, you. Oh, is it? Yeah, he says, hi, you, and that's who he kills, you. He probably says it with a bit less oomph than us, because we're like, hello, you. He'd be all seedy about it, wouldn't he? Well, sexy. That's the charm of that serial killer, that he's a hot serial killer and everyone wants to fuck him.

I used to think he was hot at first, but I'm off him now. Nah, I'm off him now. Nah, I like him. I think he's beautiful. He's gorgeous. Speaking of hot killers, Price Keeper Jenna. Welcome to the show. Hello.

Nice to be here. Have you watched Baby Reindeer yet? No, and I don't want to. No one's going to make me. Wow. I just feel like- It's because I want the best for you, and I think you'd enjoy it. Yeah.

It looks boring. No, it's the opposite. It's not boring. Is it true crime? No, not really. It's based on a true story. Okay. But it's the opposite. It's not boring. Is it true crime? No, not really. It's based on a true story. Okay. But it's not true crime.

I just don't know why you dig your heels in just to be like, no, I'm not going to do it just because everyone says I should. We're not saying it to spite you. It's just I think you'd like it. It's a good show. Here's where my head's at the moment. I don't know if it's ADHD, if it's stress, if it's whatever, but I just don't have the attention span to sit there and watch a series.

I can't do it. I get no enjoyment out of it anymore. Oh, no, but that's why I said whenever it was a couple of weeks ago, I was like, just here's your challenge. Watch the first 10 minutes because they don't piss about. They just go straight into it. It's good for ADHD, I believe. And they're only like 30 minute episodes.

That's the challenge. 10 minutes. Mm-hmm. All right. Well, how about this weekend? I will watch an episode or get hooked. If I finish the whole thing, I don't have much on this weekend. I will watch.

Yeah, don't commit to binging the series, although you may end up doing that. I did. I've got Hack Season 3 to watch. My favourite show in my top five shows of all time. I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to watch it. I don't know what to post. Shit, it's hard to host a show with someone.

See what I mean? Yeah. I can't watch it because I don't have Stan. Oh, use my login. Really? Yeah, my password's like butterfly or something. Something dumb. Butterfly.

You know who still has access to my Stan? Who? My ex's mother. Aw, you'd feel bad booting her off, wouldn't you? Beautiful Minda. It's got Mitch, Minda, mum, which is my mum. Anyway, I'm like, I wonder if she still uses it. Yeah, she's halfway through the fucking new season of some evil Mexican cartel series.

I'm like, oh, I can't boot her off now. She did nothing wrong by me. So she's still enjoying my stand. So Jenny, you just use hers. Oh, okay. Thank you. Just fuck with Minda's recently watched. Yeah.

Yeah, just hot watchings, like really obscure. Pregnancy videos, no doubt. Yeah, the first six months. Minda's like, what the fuck? Hacks is, this is a recommendation, is so funny. It's so good. It's so well written. It's so on trend.

I feel like you've recommended this to me before, haven't you? Yeah. And so they're up to season three. Season three, yeah. It's a really good show. Okay. I've had a shocking week. What happened?

I had an interview with Jojo Siwa. That is shocking. Did it not go well? No, it got cancelled. The morning of an hour before I was meant to do it. I was so excited. I was going to ask her dream guest on my podcast questions. Dream guest on my podcast.

Oh, it took me a sec to get that reference. You know the TikTok sound? Dream guest on my podcast. Yeah. Let's shake things up. My ex is ha. Speaking of which, we've got TikTok school coming up. Oh.

That is not the viral sound that we're going to be referring to. Oh. Why'd she cancel anyway? It was an internal thing. I don't actually know what happened. Oh, okay. Yeah. Deeply sad, but what can you do?

I was excited. Were you? I feel like her energy with my energy when I'm on would have been like... Palpable. Irritating. Yeah. Annoying. Annoying. It would have been terrible radio. So thank God for the listeners of Australia that it didn't happen.

But I was just grumpy. I thought it was going to happen. I prepared and I never prepare. I wrote questions. Wow, that's huge for you. I know. I do prepare when they're big questions, when they're big guests. But speaking of guests...

You're right. Fadan is joining us next week. It's all confirmed. We've still been DMing. She's going to be on. I don't know why. Like, I want to believe you, but there's part of me that thinks something's going to happen. Well, here's the thing.

And if you're listening to this, Fadan, no offence. I'm just worried. Like, what do we talk to her about? Plenty of things. Just research and prepare like you did for Jojo. True. In fact, what questions are we going to ask Jojo? Just ask the exact same questions.

Now, you've recently come out as a lesbian in your Disney days. Did they haunt you? Well, as a mum, who's also a lawyer. I actually can't wait for Fadan. My question for Fadan is, why does she cut cucumbers like that? Have you seen how she cuts cucumbers? Oh, that's on my list of questions too, because I cut my fucking fingers all the time. How does she do it?

She's one of those incredible people. And I think it is if you've grown up in like an ethnic family, right? And you've just learnt from families and ancestors. She has a knife and she cuts up and pushes her thumb onto the blade. If that was me, blood everywhere, honestly. That's happened to you, Mitchell. Yeah, plenty of times. You come into the show with blood on your finger.

Yeah, that was a lot of blood. So I got many questions. You know what? Why don't we bring back good old-fashioned idiot questions? If you want to ask Fadan something. Because it turns out there's a lot of overlap. Fadan talk fans and idiots. There's a lot of overlap.

So, yeah, actually, you've got a week to think of questions. Send them in now. Yeah, DM us or message either of any of us, and we'll ask Fadan directly when she joins us next week. Actually, you know what we should ask Fadan about? Because she's a family lawyer, right? Yeah. We should ask her about any potential red flags to be aware of with mine and Jenna's co-parenting

relationship. Oh, that's a good question. Like, am I on the birth certificate? Where do I stand legally? Do you want to see what our baby looks like at the moment? Yeah. Because I only knocked her up two weeks ago, so right now it looks like that. I've got the tracking.

Jesus Christ. It's not till like week six that it starts to sort of look like a human. Wow. So go back to where it is now. It's just like a little ball. It's like a volleyball. It's very cute. It's like the sun.

She's only two weeks. Yeah, of course. Two weeks. Very early. That's 13 weeks. My God. Is this going to be a six month joke? Huh?

What? No, it's nine months. Nine months, famously. Oh, yes. Well, no, I was expecting premature birth, unfortunately. Call me Nostradamus. Well, our due date is January 25th, 2025. So we might not even be recording.

Is that nine months from now? Well, nine months from when I knocked her up on Anzac Day. Yeah. Of course. Anzac Day, my breakup anniversary and your conception anniversary. It's a special day. For all of us. For all of us.

Wow. All right. Well, if it's your first time listening, a lot to digest there. Welcome to Is It Just Me? Every show starts the same with Is It Just Me? Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. What's yours about? Well, you don't know mine and I don't know yours.

But today, mine is about something that I experienced in a certain store and I want to know if it's a universal experience. Okay. If everyone else experiences it at this type of store because I love to shop. It's one of my favorite things in the world and I was scared at a recent shopping trip. Okay. All right. Well, do you want me to kick things off? Yeah. What's yours about? Or you'll just jump in? Mate, so we'll just fucking get into it, hadn't we? Jenna, what's yours? Oh, recent shopping trip. Okay. All right. Well, do you want me to kick things off? Yeah.

What's yours about? Or you'll just jump in. Mate, so we'll just fucking get into it, hadn't we? Jenna, what's yours? Oh, never mind. No. Never mind. We cut those.

It's fine, Jenny. You need to be involved in the all staff meeting we're doing a bit later as well. Is that still happening? Yeah. I texted group chat and didn't hear back. I thought, oh, God, it's turned into an intervention. I'm so worried. You're so paranoid about being intervened on.

I know. I don't know where it comes from. Yeah. All right. No intervention. I'm so worried. You're so paranoid about being intervened on. I know. I don't know where it comes from. Yeah. All right. No intervention. Team meeting. All staff, team meeting on the show. Yeah.

A bit later as well. Let's TikTok school. Okay. My age, let's go. Yep. Is it just me or? Is it about time we dumbed down public transport? I'm not on much public transport.

I really, what do you mean? Well, this is something that I noticed years ago. I have a feeling I may have ranted about this on Not My Cup of Tea back in the day. Just the language they use on public transport. They use words that you don't hear anywhere else. And when I say public transport, I also mean flights. Yeah.

But turns out, I must have put it into the universe. They've somehow stolen my idea because they literally are dumbing down the language used on Sydney trains now. Oh. I saw this on the news the other day. Yeah. Sydney train announcements are about to sound a little different. Over the coming weeks, some longstanding phrases are being phased out.

This train terminates here will become this train ends here. Instead of a lighting, passengers will be asked to get off the train get off and delayed trains won't need additional travel time anymore it's now extra time it's the result of passenger research aimed at making our transport network as user-friendly as possible it sounds like they're dumbing it down that's what i want it's also mean like get off i like it it's to the point. I love that there was a survey involved for them to actually take action.

All these people being like, a light? Huh? I don't get it. I mean, I feel like that's a you problem. Huh? I love the nice language. I think it's gorgeous. I don't want to be told, get off. Honestly, I kind of feel the same way about news reporters. Just talk to us like we're people. Oh, you think?

Yeah. There's something about, especially flights, they use all sorts of words that you wouldn't hear anywhere. Where else the fuck would you hear the word stow? Yeah, that's a good point. They're like, oh, please stow your bloody bags. Just say put. Yeah. That's actually, yeah. In fact, speaking of put, you know how they say, please fasten your seatbelts on the flight. Put the seatbelt on. Just say that. And tighten it.

No, you know what? It must come from like a litigation thing. We could ask for darn this. Because if they say, fasten your seatbelts, and then there's a crash and the seatbelt breaks, they can go, well, you were told explicitly to fasten your seatbelt. What does that even mean, fasten? But I think like there's a definition.

She's out of practice. She really is. She needs to Google everything. No, but there's like a definition of fasten your seatbelt they can use in a court of law, but put on your seatbelt. Or just fucking pop your seatbelt on, please. Yeah, but someone could pop it around their shoulder and be like, oh, well, I put it on. Okay, so fasten actually means close or do up securely.

Yeah, see? Yeah, okay. And I feel like they're using words that help them if it ever gets to a point in, you know. That's a good point. Yeah, okay. I get where you're coming from. But there's other fucking shit they say. Like, they say stow.

Like I said, they stow your baggage in the overhead baggage compartment. They do. Can't you just call it the top cupboard? Instead of stow your luggage in the overhead. Just say, pop your shit in the top cupboard, please. Okay, well, why don't you- Talk to us like we're people. You could make a lot of money here in just going to different businesses like June Daly Watkins, rest in peace, Jenna's mentor,

who taught Aussie women how to be more eloquent. She taught them etiquette. You could teach people the opposite. Yeah, just like talk to us like we're people. I don't need the fancy language. Yeah, I agree. Like they say, oh, there's two exits on this flight, one at the front and one at the rear.

So front is acceptable, but you can't just say back. Yes, that's true. Instead of, oh, we're going to exit through the rear door today, just say, oh, we're heading out the back door. No. See, to me that takes out all the fun. If I've just flown 12 hours to get to Paris and they go, out the rear door, I'm like, no, no, no.

No, rear, we're getting rid of that. Out the back door. Out the back door. I'd be like, no, that's why I'm in Paris, to go in the back door. I'd feel like a cow being told, get out. Totally. I actually love that Sydney trains are doing that. Instead of a light, just get off.

Get off our fucking train. Get off. What was the other one? Additional travel time became extra time. Terminate here becomes ends here. So this train ends here. I do like the terminates here. That sounds like it's going to explode.

I know, but I'm so used to it. No, I'm not all for it. I think we need to, like, it's not our job to get dumber. Well, it's not that we're dumber. There might be people who English is their second language. That's maybe why they're adapting the language. Of course, yes. Which would also be confusing at the airport because why do they call it a gate?

You're at gate 32. It's not a gate. That's a good point. If anything, it's a fucking waiting room, isn't it? You're right. It's more of a bay. It is. Or like a bus stop.

Just call it a plane stop. Yeah. Yeah. Stop five. Or a train platform. Oh, yeah. It's more of a bang. It is. Or like a bus stop. Just call it a plane stop. Yeah. Yeah. Stop five. Or a train platform. It's a plane platform. Airport platform three. No, no.

That I can get around. Why is there no gates inside? That's so true. In the old days, you think there were gates. Well, it doesn't sound very secure. Now it's airlocked. A gate, you can just fucking jump over it. Totally.

If it was a gate, then they've really gone to full hog, haven't they? They've gone now to fucking x-ray screens. Yeah, no, it's too fancy for a gate. I agree with you. All right, well, if you're in public transport and you hear that, send us a recording. We want to hear it. Dumb it down, dog. You'll think about us.

How would they VO that? Would they still VO it with gusto? Like, get off. Or would it be get off? Get the fuck off my train. I like that. Mind the gap. What can they say?

Watch out for the crevice. Careful, there's a crack. Don't slip. Don't slip. Don't slip. Crack a head. Have you got anything to say for us? I do.

I do. All right. Spit it out, please. Count us in, Bradley. Go for it. Could you please embark on your itch? Is it just me or? Do shoe shops specifically really scare you?

Why does it scare you? There's something about a shoe shop that is deeply intimidating. Clothes don't bother me. I'm like, I know what I want. I know my style. I like it. But there's something about shoes that make me think I know nothing about these damn things. I know nothing about shoes.

The staff members are never really helpful. It's always a chore to go out and get your size. There's a wall, so it kind of feels like they're all looking at you. Always a DJ. I went to a shoe store this weekend. There was a DJ doing a live set at a platypus, and I was like, that's a bit much for a Saturday. Yeah, I would hate that.

There's something about the idea of a shoe store that needs to be reworked. I just don't like when they look over you while you're doing up your shoe. Yeah. I just feel really judged. Yes. And then I forget how to do it up and I look like an idiot. I don't want to do up my shoe. What happened to the old days?

People used to fill your petrol up for you. Now I've got to do my own laces up at a Converse HQ. Oh, my God. Lace them for me, don't you think? No. Really? No. I don't want someone else to do my laces for you. Now I've got to do my own laces up at a Converse HQ? Oh, my God. Lace them for me, don't you think? No. Really? No. I don't want someone else to do my laces for me.

They'll get it wrong, firstly. Oh, no, no. I'm not tired enough. I know. I didn't mean lace it in a bow for me. When they give it to you and there's no laces on it. I swear that's come up on the show before. I can't remember.

Yeah, should shoes come laced up? I think it was in June's junk. Yeah, that's right. This one probably should have been there, too. But there's something looming about a shoe stop. There's nothing nice about it. I don't know why. You know the vibe I'm talking about?

Not really. I've never been frightened by a shoe stop. Oh, they're frightening. I get like, you know, like hype and platypus and stuff. The workers are really energetic and over the top. Always. Sometimes it's a bit much. Can't stand that.

Always. Yeah. And I'd rather like just shop online. And they're always like, oh, babe, you want the Adidas Samba? Yeah. Well, maybe get the Adidas Gazelle. Yeah. I can't stand that. Always. Yeah, and I'd rather just shop online. And they're always like, oh, babe, you want the Adidas Samba? We'll maybe get the Adidas Gazelle. I'm like, what's the difference? They're like, nothing really. Yeah.

Well, now you've made me worried because you know how I was boasting, probably the same time we were talking about the laces. Yeah. I was talking about how I've had the same fucking pair of white converses for years and years. They're my shoes. They're my shoes. I don't need others.

Look what's happened. Look, there's my shoes. They're my shoes. I don't need others. Look, what's happened? Look, there's a split. Oh, no. Is that the right foot that I'm holding up? Yeah, it's your right foot. That's it. As in the correct foot? Is there a split on that one?

Yeah. Oh, sorry. I think I meant the right foot. I'm like, yes. I'm not that dumb. Yeah, there's a split on my right fucking shoe. So now I'm going to have to go shoe shopping. Show me the shoe again.

Sorry, I was just looking at the sole. What's the design of the white shoe? You guys are idiots. It's on the left side. Is it on both now? There. Show me the shoe again. Sorry, I was just looking at the sole. What's the design of the white shoe? You guys are idiots. It's on the left side. Is it on both now? There's one on the other side. Oh, no. No, it's on the other side too.

Look, is it on both now? Show me the other one. I look like I'm in the birthing suite now, getting both my legs up. Getting Janice prepped. Show me. Yeah, it's on both sides. It's on both. Also, the soles and the toes.

How long have you had these for? Five years. Yeah, it's time to wear them. Yeah, let's eat them on the desk now. This is quite comfy, actually. It is going to be stretching. What's the design? Oh, they're white Converse.

They're very nice. They're the sports range of Converse. You could definitely upgrade. Yeah, well, I'm going to have to now. I don't want to go to the bloody shoe shop. You'll be terrified at the shoe store. Yeah. I haven't had to go for years.

You know what else I'm terrified? Cotton on. When they go, oh, you're buying a pair of shorts? I go, yeah. Would you like to donate a dollar? Buy water? I'm like, no. They're like, what about a tote bag for $4? I'm like, I don't want a tote bag. They're a dollar? Buy water? I'm like, no. What about a tote bag for $4?

I'm like, I don't want a tote bag. Breath mints? I'm like, are you guys short in cash or something? I know. Do you need a bank loan? And then you say no and it's kind of like, oh. Totally. They kind of judge you.

I have an idea that Boost Juice could actually do. What's that? You know how they never get the size right. You always order a small and they're always like, we've upgraded you to a large. Yeah. They make too much. That's my boost juice hack. Always order a small because the children never know.

They've always put in an extra chunk of watermelon and then you've got a jumbo. They need to start putting them in baby cups and offering them to mums with bubs and just going, here's a little one for the little baby. Oh, that's a good idea actually. That would be good for us. Making really tiny baby chino ones.

Like a baby chino, yeah. Yeah, isn't that cute? Our baby would love that. Grow up. It's two weeks old. I've had wasabi peas with more personality than your baby. It's really too soon to be telling people that she's pregnant, but I will. You guys will wrap it on every episode.

We're excited. Yeah, we're excited. You're just jealous. You drank beer last week. Let's not forget that. She had one scoop. Yes. Don't shame me.

What about the commenters being like, it wasn't sourdough bread. That was a Turkish roll. I didn't notice that. Neither did I. This is Don't shame me. What about the commenters being like, it wasn't sourdough bread. That was a Turkish roll. I didn't notice that. Neither did I. This is during Will It Cream. Sorry, I really should give context. You also said mead, but it was clearly a Peroni. Well, mead was more for the theatre of the mind.

Yeah, I know, but you forget that we have visuals on the podcast. 2024, isn't it? Did you notice that I photoshopped the Peroni out of the video so that you didn't look like a fuckwit? I thought it was follicles. No. I just didn't want people to be like, that's not me. That's a the Peroni out of the video so that you didn't look like a fuckwit? I thought it was for liquor laws. No. I just didn't want people to be like, that's not me. That's a fucking Peroni.

Cheery's an idiot. Sorry. But then I couldn't photoshop out the bread. Sorry. That's really funny. Liquor laws. I tried to save you and then people were like, that's not even sourdough, dog. Mead. I'm like, ye olde mead.

Nope. It was Wonder White and the most cheapest beer I could find on the KIO. Fuckwit. Is it just me? It was really a Peroni. It was Wonder White and the most cheapest beer I could find on the KIO. I don't know. Fuck with. Is it just me? Make sure you leave a review on your podcast app. If you don't, you're a little bitch. All right, kids.

Yes. Have you got your shoes on? Yeah. Yeah, but have you brushed your hair, cleaned your teeth? Yeah. You ready for school? Yes. Right, we're heading to school then. Yeah. Yep. Have you brushed your hair? Cleaned your teeth? You ready for school? Yes. Right, we're heading to school then. Okay.

So there's one particular thing clogging up my TikTok feed at the moment and it hits me in the feels every time I hear it. What is it? It's a sound that's gone viral. Yeah. I'd be surprised if you guys haven't heard it, but honestly, I don't know if it's going to resonate with you, Cherry. So it was posted by Claire

Boyer. And what she did is she had her kitchen fan on while she was cooking. Yeah. And she was just humming along with it, harmonizing with the fan. And the sound she ended up making and posting has blown up because for some reason it just makes people feel nostalgic. It reminds people of the feeling of grief. And it just, there's something about this sound that it's really resonating with people. Do you want to hear it? Grief, sure.

It's literally just some girl in her kitchen harmonising with the fan. Okay, I grew up with a fan, so I think I can connect. I'm a hot boy. We'll see. Alright. Thoughts? Shocking song. I knew you were going to be bitter about it. I just knew it.

Shocking. Was there a plot twist here that that was the song your mum played at your birth suite? No. You really liked that? Yeah. There's just something about it. Like, people have been reposting it. There was one person that said, a girl randomly decided to record...

Actually, I'm going to have it in the background. A girl randomly decided to record herself harmonising with a fan without even realising she'd perfectly encapsulated the feeling of grief, effectively producing a feeling that That's beautiful. I mean, I use TikTok to look at, like, cute people and fun, funny videos. What about this? Oh, this might hit you in the feels, actually. Okay, sure. Ready?

I'm going to put it on again. This is someone else's. Close my eyes. This is what someone else posted about it. It sounds like when I would stay at my grandma's house and I would lay in her lap as she hummed to me while scratching my back or running her fingers through my hair and nothing mattered because I had her.

That's nice. Oh, you're getting glassy. No, not glassy. I get it. That's nice. It sounds like when you glassy. No, not glassy. I get it. That's nice. It sounds like when you wake up in the morning realising that it actually happened and this is your new reality. What, you're living in a motel

with a fan on? It sounds like the feeling of knowing that one random day was the last time my mum would do my hair. The last time my dad would carry me out of a car and into bed. The last time I'd be read a bedtime story. The last time I kissed my hair. Oh. The last time my dad would carry me out of a car and into bed. The last time I'd be read a bedtime story. The last time I kissed my parents goodnight.

I never realised I grew up. Aww. That's beautiful. See? I understand the tone of the song. It's gorgeous. Yeah. I don't know what it is about her just harmonising with a fucking fan, but it works.

It does. Yeah. Did it work for you? What did it remind you of, Mitchell? Nothing in particular. It was just a feeling. I'm just reading all the other people's hot take on it, what it reminds them of. It's actually

your youngest sibling walking alone through the empty house with no one by their side, then deciding to search through the remnants of your abandoned room for anything of importance after you left them alone. It sounds like the Titanic song in a weird the remnants of your abandoned room for anything of importance after you left them alone. Oh.

It sounds like the Titanic song in a weird way. Yeah, it does. Yeah, I get that, yes. Like when the necklace, the jewel of the sea, whatever it is, sinks to the bottom of the ocean. Someone said it reminds them of an Australian health insurance ad. Yeah. Oh.

I can't think of that ad, but what it does remind me of is, do you remember this? It has the same fucking energy as this song. Yes. You know what this is from, you remember this? It has the same fucking energy as this song. Yes. You know what this is from, don't you? I know this, Anne. What is it? Well, of course, it's Taco Bell.

No, Cockett, it's Angel Flight. Angel Flight. Yes. Oh, beautiful. They used to play this at the cinema. Yeah, they did. That would be beautiful. They did.

That booming bass. That harmonising with the fan also reminds me of this song. Yep. Have either of you seen this movie? Can you tell me where it's from? Oh, Cheery. Cheery, it sounds familiar. Oh, don't.

No. Do you know Jenna? No, don't. Don't. What is't. No. Do you know Jenna? No, don't. Don't. What is it? No. Oh, my cloud's daughter's the telemovie event. Do you know?

Yeah, I do. Go on. Is it Red Dog? Yes, it is. I've not seen Red Dog. Oh. Don't. Where's John?

No. Who's John? Where's John? John's the dog. No, the dog's owner dies and the dog goes all around fucking Australia looking for him. Does it find him? He's dead. I don't think you understand.

His owner died. Clearly he needed to go to puppy school. So that song, things like that, it all hits the same emotion. I don't know what it is. I can't put my finger on it. But I thought we should find out if we're able to conjure up that feeling. Oh, God. I don't think that's our domain.

See what I mean about always shitting on my idea? No, I'm not. Commit. Give it a red hot crack. Maybe you could do it. Sure. I'll give it a red hot crack. So you've got some sound effects to choose from.

Do you want to harmonise with my hair dryer, for example? That's beautiful. Oh, that's quite nice. So that's you. Would you want to harmonise with your own Ninja Creamy? Oh my God. Go.

Okay, go. Play it. No. Humming. Humming. Sorry, sorry. What a one constant tone Yeah it's not really harmonising No the ninja's not working

But I get your point Do I have to match the tone Or be on top of it I think you just feel it Okay sure Don't overthink it That girl was just harmonising With the fan having fun

She wasn't overthinking it I picture her stirring A big pot of sauce. I think she was chopping veggies. Oh, close. Same thing. Jenna, do you want to give it a crack? You can either go my toothbrush or my vacuum.

None of these sound effects are from the internet, by the way. These are all organic. I could tell that was your dice. Can I go with the vacuum? Sure. You ready? Mm-hmm. Jenna's disassociated Is she making noise?

That's not really comforting me If anything it's very haunting I believe you just summoned a spirit Let me try Let me try Okay do you want to do it with my hair dryer? Yeah, please. Okay.

My stomach just crumbled. I think you're aiming a bit high. The notes, you can feel the strain. It's got to be comforting. I'm going to try with my toothbrush. Okay. Okay. I see Mitchell does it.

Jenna, join in. How does it sound? It sounds like that. Do you want to harmonise with my vibrating cock ring? Oh, my. Oh, yeah. I'd love to. All eight modes. Really? Yes. vibrating cock ring? Oh, my. Oh, yeah. I'd love to. All eight modes.

Really? Yes. Can I hear? Yeah, just improvise. Go along with it. Ready? Dumbest shit we've ever done. That's a great cock ring. I need to get the brand.

Do I actually put it on the microphone? Oh, my God. Yuck. Well, I hope that. I want to try with the cock ring. Okay, try. See if it's comforting to people in some way. Yeah. I think there'll be someone out there that is comforted by that.

I bet it's doing things to someone. I deeply hope. Wow. Let's just go back and listen to her. Yeah, just to re-sort of set the... Oh, God. I don't think we got there, did we? We definitely didn't encapsulate the feeling of universal grief,

that's for fucking sure. What do you mean? That's made me grieve. I'm grieving what this podcast once was, a quality program. Do you want to try with the toothbrush? Because it's lower. Ah, yeah, yeah. That might sound pretty.

Sure. I don't want you to fucking take the piss. Okay, sure. I'm going to close my eyes and see if I can feel something. Sure. I'll close mine. So it's low, so I go low. When they go low, you go low.

You just harmonize with them. All right, all right, all right. It's not a harmony. Okay, this isn't comforting anyone. Forget it. Class dismissed. I think I'm ready to go home. I think I'm expelled, to be honest.

Actually, you can't go home yet, Cherry. I'm keeping you back after class. We're in a staff meeting. Oh, my God. I'm being disciplined. Detention. No, not disciplined. You've got the cane at this school. This has just been on the fly. Do you think the cane would have been real good in your

day? No. I would have loved the cane. I probably would have been into it. Same. I love to complain. Harder. You wouldn't. Oh, stop. Poor Sean. What do you mean poor Sean? Good for Sean, actually. Harder. Do you guys have mean, poor Sean? No, good for Sean, actually. Harder.

Do you guys have a paddle or anything? No. Oh. No. I think I'd take a spank personally, actually. Yeah. I was joking about the cane. Have you never been slapped on the ass?

Oh, yeah. I have. Yeah. But not like an aggressive caning. Like, I would never say, harder. No, of course, yeah. It's a bit dramatic. I have some fucking decorum.

Yeah. All right, Amy, I'm excited for this. So what's going on? All staff meeting. Uh-huh. Okay. Ready. Straighten your course, yeah. It's a bit dramatic. I have some fucking decorum. Yeah. All right, Amy, I'm excited for this. So what's going on? All staff meeting. Uh-huh. Okay. Ready. Up straight in your chair, Jenna.

Straight. Oh, I can see your bump. Sorry. She's only two weeks. That's an M&M. Jaquavius looks like Mars at the moment. Jesus Christ. He does.

He does. Yeah. Looks like an atom. I only just noticed there's a video on this baby tracking app too. What's this? What? Oh, and it's an ad in mine. Forget it.

Forget it. Oh, that's funny. Is it just me? You should follow these idiots online. Search couple of Mitches. Okay, team meeting. Everyone fucking look alive. Pay attention.

I put my glasses on. Yes. So, a couple of idiots have very kindly messaged me to remind me that we are approaching one of our annual occasions. Shit, what is it? Not pig week, is it? Correct. Is it? My favourite!

Almost. Almost. When is pig week? Well, it could be next week or the following week, but we've got for time next week, so. Oh, that'd be a bit offensive. Hey, guest of the show, we're having you on pig week. We could do it on, actually, if it's pig week, but we've got Fidan next time. Oh, that'd be a bit offensive. Hey, guest of the show, we're having you on pig week. We could do it on – actually, if it's pig week, do we have to do it on both days because it's a week? Oh, shit.

That's a good point. It's a lot of pigging, isn't it? It is a week, though. And we're also in our health era, and Jenna's got all these dietary pregnancies. We did it last year in the health era as well. Anyway, point being, pig week is approaching and it's annual. We've never missed it since its inception. We've done three pig weeks now, which if you're new here, we just encourage people to remove

all guilt attached to snacks. Correct. Fucking pig out. Enjoy yourself. Don't feel guilty. You've got a week off. Totally. Watching what you eat.

Whatever you want. I already know what I'm bringing this year. I'm not going to say it. I want, want. This is the thing. Oh, no. What? You want to skip it?

Uh-oh. Well, I can't make the call without the votes from the staff. Of course. That's why I've called a meeting. What are you proposing? Do we proceed with pig week knowing that a lot of our listeners suffer from misophonia and there have been increasing complaints about us eating on the podcast? knowing that a lot of our listeners suffer from misophonia. Oh, God. And there have been increasing complaints about us eating on the podcast.

And apparently it's very triggering for some people to hear us chewing and blah, blah, blah. I understand that. No, it is for many people. Misophonia, this is from online, is a real disorder. Of course. And one that seriously compromises functioning, socialising and ultimately mental health. Reactions can range from anger and annoyance to panic and the need to flee. And in our case, people skipping the episodes.

Here's the thing. I'm all for creating a space that people want to listen to. It's just the fact that Pig Week is annual and we said we'd do a couple of weeks off from eating and then we can't just do pig week after promising to ease up on the eating. I have an idea. I love coffee and I watch coffee reviews on YouTube.

There's a coffee reviewer called James Hoffman. He reviews coffee machines and different coffees. You know what he does? He uploads two versions of the same video. Does he? One where he's muted the chews and the slurps and the other where the slurps are included for people that don't care. Now the ones with the slurps get more views, but the ones

without the slurps, you'd be shocked, get a lot of views. So how hard is it to, could we do an experiment and just do pig week and release a version that has no chews, no slurps, no munches? I mean, that means a lot more work for you, Mitchell. Yeah, it does, but that's fine. That's an interesting idea. Well done. Thank you. Don't you feel like if they can't hear the chewing,

if we do a separate episode for them, we could just fuck with them. They can't see us. Like, for example, do you like this gorgeous crockenbush I've brought in today? It looks gorgeous, Mitchell. Oh, nice ring. Four-carat diamond ring is what it is. Yeah, thank you. Here, try some.

Let me try. Oh. Did I nail that or what? That's so good. You nailed that. Yeah, that was really good. Well done. See, I'm like, without the chewing, how do they know it's even happening?

All right, well, why don't we do a poll in our Facebook group, the Endurant Idiots. Join it if you're not in it. The discussion of the show continues when the mics are off. We could ask our idiots what they feel. I know there is a discussion in there currently, but we should do an official poll. Yeah, you're right.

The sentiment is that Brett posted about it being like, can we please fucking pull back on the chewing, slurping, all that stuff into the microphone. And a lot of comments being like, thank God someone said it. I've had to skip that many episodes recently. And so I'm like, shit, why did this have to come up now? So close to pig week. I know.

Well, why don't we, we could also just do, put a disclaimer. Hi, idiots. If you have, you know, poof-poof-phobia. Misophonia. Misophonia. Skip to 4401. But isn't it the whole episode? Yeah, we eat the whole thing.

Yeah. The start and the finish. I think we, did I make this up or did we agree that we were going to do pig week for Jenna's birthday? Because they are quite close together. It's late May and hers is early June. I think that's good. Then it's a celebration.

And then the misophobes of the world can't get angry because we're just celebrating Jenna's birthday actually. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're not misophobic. Yeah. No, we can easily avoid not eating directly into the mic. Yeah.

And it'll be my birthday. I think it ruins the fun. And then what do we do? What? We just don't do it. Well, that's what I was asking today. I haven't made a call. No.

I'm waiting your input. Sorry, but no. But it's people like his tradition. You're right. Correct. I mean, God, the fucking church get to do all their... Careful, hot dog, whatever the fuck is probably listening. Who's hot dog?

The one that complained about us using the Lord's name in vain. All right, sorry. You literally just said, oh, God. Yeah. I did actually, you're right. So we're taking on board feedback. No more Lord's name in vain. No more slurping.

No more chewing. Jesus Christ. Maddie McCann. There you go. I don't care. I. No more chewing. Jesus Christ. Maddie McCann. There you go. I don't care. I'll do it all. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Another dollar. It's worth it to prove a point that we are a podcast for the people, but not by the people. We're not Tony and Ryan, for God's sake. What do Tony and Ryan have to do with this? All their content's like, we are doing a show from a trash compactor because you wanted us to. I'm like, I don't have the time for that.

We'll do what we want. I did a show from a coffin.or because you wanted us to. I'm like, I don't have the time for that. We'll do what we want. I did a show from a coffin. Because we made you do what we wanted. I would do what you guys wanted as well. Where do you want me to do a show from? We just hummed into a cock ring for 10 minutes. I'm an ice with a cock ring. With a cock ring.

It was a duet. It was, wasn't it? Like every good sex act should be. A duet. A dance. Sorry, I'm just updating the tally for someone. Oh, that's fine. I don't mind.

I'll play that. Fuck me. You're up to $12. Yeah, it's all right. It'll come out at EF's. Anyway, where do we settle? We're going to put it to the idiots. Are we doing pig week or skipping it with the misophonias in mind?

Yeah. I don't know how to say that in context. Misophobes? I don't know. Misophobes, yeah. Sure. Do you know what I am? I don't know how to say that in context. Misophobes? Misophobes, yeah. Sure. Do you know what I am? I don't have misophobia.

I reckon I've got a bit of fucking textophobia. What's that? Just like you get really irrationally fucked off by certain textures and clothing. Oh, yeah, I get that. Material. Yeah, definitely. What kind? Do you remember those hideous sport shorts that they'd make you wear for the sport uniform?

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. And they'd give you chafing in the legs and they often had nets in them. Yeah, the nets. Sean wears them to bed. Oh, no, Sean. Like board shorts. That's not well. Sean, no, no, no.

And so naturally one thing leads to the other and I'm trying to rip them off. And then I'm like, I can't touch it. Oh, the feeling. What is it? Is it poly this. Oh, the feeling. What is it? Is it polyester? Oh, maybe. How do they know?

Yeah. They have to be left to rash it, not to. See, that's quite a nice material actually. The rash shirt's a nice material. I love rash shirts. I also just can't stand, maybe it's all linked back to school. I can't stand just like a dress shirt. Again, I don't know what material that is. Is it just me on the fly? Does it fuck you off when you can't think of the name for the material?

Like a classic cotton business shirt. Yeah, like a shirt you'd wear to a wedding. I hate them. Really? Yeah, there's no give. I feel like they restrict my shoulders and I end up feeling all claustrophobic in there. You can't stretch. There's no breathing room. I hate paddle pop. Paddle pop

wood. Oh god. Oh my god, I can feel it. Every time my breathing room. I hate paddle pop. Paddle pop wood. Oh, God. A paddle stick. Oh, my God, I can feel it. Every time I go to Subway and get a salad, I forget that it's a fucking wooden fork. Oh, yuck. It's so disgusting. So we're all textophobes. Oh, yuck.

All right, so maybe I do have some compassion for the... Misophobes. Misophobes. Yeah. Well, listen, would you like a second episode where we do the full show, but Mitch, can't you get AI to just remove the chews? Yeah, I don't really trust it, though. I'd have to make sure.

Fuck. Or what if every time we chew, we just play this instead? Good idea. Replace it with something that misophobes love. Yeah. Oh, there's a sound effect on here that I really want to play, but I just realised it would have perhaps triggered the misophobes. No, that's fine.

For one, it's off. They've had a free episode. Yeah, this is your trigger warning. It's only one second long. Yeah. No, that's not chewing. Your distressed burp. That really upset me, that burp.

That was from Will It Burger. What was it? Will It Blend. Yes, Will It Blend. All right, well, let's go to the people. What was it? Will It Blend. Yes, Will It Blend. All right, well, let's go to the people. This is our Tony and Ryan era. We're going to ask you what you want.

What do they have to do with it? I don't understand the link at all. What do you want from us? Oh, it's Tony and Ryan. They said, keep my name out of your fucking mouth. Did you just do a live tweet? I did. Isn't it fun? Wow.

I told you it's fun. Okay, now there needs to be tack to it. Oh, since when? Since forever. That's never been your... Mitchell, my sound effects have an art form to them that you've never appreciated. Anyway, Pig Week TBC. Why don't we do Piglet Week? Why don't we just do one treat?

Why don't we just have one little treat each rather than ten different items? We used to bring three each, remember? I feel like it was last year we would bring a plate and Jenna bought fucking grapes. Yeah, but they were cotton candy flavoured. What a cop out. They were sent to the Jonesy Amanda team. I was like, I don't think you understand the concept of pigging. She was clearly not porky as a kid like I was.

Yes, I was. It's one thing I know how to do. It's fucking pig out. I was actually so tiny as a kid. I look back at photos. I'm like, fuck, good on him. And then at 23, I really chalked it on. And I felt great. Alright, we're going to go to the people.

Sure. Yeah. Anyway, thanks for listening, idiots. This is our exit music today. Imagine if this was our exit music every week. Imagine if we were like one of those, oh, we've done this segment before, Bros Podcast. Oh, yeah. You went on one of those shows.

I was very shocked, Mitchell. No, that's not a bro podcast. Key and Paul and Avnisha is a very bro podcast. Key and Yaz and Avnisha. It's called Already Cancelled. Well, the name in itself. Let me plug it properly. Already Cancelled.

If you want to go listen to my guest episode, idiot. Is that because you've been on it and it was so shocking that it was cancelled? No, the whole show is called Already Cancelled. Oh, I thought you said it has already been cancelled. No, Already Cancelled. Oh, I was confused. Sorry, good on them. Yeah.

But they're not a pro podcast. They're not like the ones we were doing an impression of. Nah. They say stupid shit. No, they're lovely. We've worked with them all. They're all nice people. Yeah.

Oh, they're lovely. Anyway, we should go. Now, did you lovely. We've worked with them all. They're all nice people. Yeah. Oh, they're lovely. Anyway, we should go. Now, did you tell them about the podcast curse? Well, don't forget the podcast curse only applies if we go on their episode and they come on ours, like a crossover, like a part one, part two collab. Is it? The only ones who've murdered have been the crossovers. You're right.

Tony Lodge's one-woman show. Yes. We did a crossover. Project You, the one where we did Katy Perry or a fairysovers. You're right. Tony Lodge's one-woman show. Yes. We did a crossover. Project You, the one where we did Katy Perry or a fairy. Out. They're gone. All right, hey. No, I don't think we fucked that.

I went on Trash Alley, remember? I filled in as a guest host. And then he filled in here, so it's close. It had the biggest ratings episode ever when I was on, and then he came here, and then that show was cancelled by Spotify. Yeah, you're right. Who else have we killed? There's been a few.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear. We killed. Oh, dear. I haven't heard any news about Gina Liano's podcast being renewed for another season. We did a crossover with her. Just wait for Fadan to create, you know. But she'd have to invite us on in order for the curse to work.

She would not. Why wouldn't she? It depends on how it goes with her next week. Okay. Are we going or what? Sure. Okay. Thanks for listening, idiots. Hope this it goes with her next week. Okay. Are we going or what? Sure. Okay. Thanks for listening, idiots.

Hope this podcast helps you. Nah. Oh. We'll catch you back on Monday with a brand new episode. Yeah, we'll see you so soon. Yeah. Thanks for listening and make sure you let us know your thoughts on Pig Week going forward. Yeah.

Yeah. See you guys. Bye-bye. See ya. Goodbye. Oh, God. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to A to D Brief, our secret segment on the end. We pretend the show's over, then we get to go rogue a bit, talk absolute nonsense. Why don't we invite our enemies on the show? That's a good idea. Well, because I don't think they'd probably reciprocate the invite. Really? Like, they wouldn't want to come on the show if we're enemies with them, right?

Do you have any current enemies? No. Do I? I feel like we're forgetting one. We've killed a few podcasts. What about Oscar's podcast? Oh, Oscar and Talisha's game show podcast. Party Games. So we've killed Party Games,

One Trick Tony, Oh Dear, and Judge Gina. Correct. I'm still counting Alright Hayes podcast. Maybe it was like a flow on effect because we didn't do like a crossover with Trash Alley. It was all three of us on both. Didn't we have Tim on as well? Did that cancel

anything he did? I think the show had already ended by the time he came on. Got it. You're right. God. On Jenna's birthday. I want an enemy. A lot of drama. Why do you want an enemy?

I don't know. Why? I could hand on heart promise you that you've probably got several you're not aware of. Do you think? Oh, there's heaps of people that hate you. What do you mean hand on heart? Do you think people actually hate me? Absolutely.

How could they not? Jenna, do you agree with him? Oh, you're upsetting the quip-a-phobes. Huh? You just drunk into the mic. Nah, I drunk off mic. Who would hate me? I don't know.

I know there's idiots that hate me. People with ears. Yeah. Idiots hate me because in the group, they'll be like, love this episode. Mitchell Coombs is great. Jenna, you remind me of my auntie. I love you. And I'm like, I'm here.

I feel like you have a negative bias. You pay attention to those things. Yeah. And ignore all the compliments. Yeah, I've got Google Alerts on just for the hate. If you go to Enduring Idiots, our Facebook group. I'm going to go right now. At the very top, it's still pinned.

Are you thanking everyone for their outpouring of love during your breakup? That's pinned? Yeah. Can you unpin it? It's been a year. Not yet. That was on June 25. What?

Oh, after the announcement. You needed time. Oh, my God. I've been telling everyone my breakup was one year. Yeah, it was. On Anzac Day, it was. But you didn't say it on the podcast. It was.

Yeah, but remember we had the month of deliberation? Yeah. It was like the price is right. I had to go back to the banker and work out what I wanted to do after I heard the news on Anzac Day. Yeah. That's like the day they discovered. Stop it, because then I'm going to have to edit this out of you.

You go too much. It doesn't bother me. So I'm on Enduring Idiots. I'm going to read some of the top posts. Let's do rapid fire Enduring Idiots, because sometimes I forget to answer. And when I say we, I mean me. Yeah. Does Mitchell Coombs, this is from an anonymous member, does Mitchell Coombs still have his

wog? Sorry. What? His dog walking gig. After what what happened he didn't get the job or blocked for the job with ladybug what is that fucking what don't you remember yeah the dog when i signed up to um it was actually on peak week we had this discussion last year having a real sort of deja vu when i signed up to paw shake to become a dog walker because i was in my walking era as as I called it.

Correct. And you fucking swooped in with your hot bullshit and ruined my walking era. Next thing you know, you're going to get a bike, I bet. You're so jealous. I haven't been able to ride because it's pissing down rain in Sydney at the moment. Anyway, I signed up to... Poor Sean. Is he really weather

focused, is he? I signed up to a dog walking app. It's kind of like, I don't know, Air Tasker, but just for dog walkers. Yeah. And I got one inquiry. I went to the meet and greet to audition to be the dog walker, and Ladybug was fucked. Yeah.

Honestly, I said it at the time, and I stand by it. Our streets aren't safe with mongrels like fucking Ladybug out and about. Yeah, I'm with you. She attacked me. All right, well, that's answered your question, Anonymous. Another Anonymous. Mitchell Coombs, what happened to Peter Rabbit? Does it have any updates or is he actually deceased?

Why were they expecting updates? I thought I made it pretty clear that Peter Rabbit passed away. Yeah. Peter perished. Peter perished, picked a peg for your purpose. Danny says, legit, my dream job is a brothel receptionist I reckon it'd be fascinating And I feel like I could stand up to the seedy fuckers I agree

Yeah Michelle Laurie used to be a brothel receptionist The stories she tells about that Really? Yeah Wow that's really cool Yeah Callum asks

Thoughts on Thot Wiggins Which is good Because Dot Wiggins last week was very thotty Oh because she was horned up Correct I like Thot Wiggins Bali travel tip good because Dot Wiggins last week was very Thotty. Oh, because she was horned up. Correct. I like Thot Wiggins. Barley travel tip for Coombs, says Christy Langley.

I did screenshot that and sent it to my mates that are going. So, yep. Yep. All over it. Okay. Anything else? This is a Will It Cream recipe for me. Did Blackwood end up adding Mitch Turi's inspired menu item?

They did for the month of March and it's coming back for winter. I thought it was a bit fucked up that you didn't bring one in for generator taste test. I could know. How do you not know how to promote your own product? Sorry, I should have. I should have. It also felt weird because our podcast is international and it's only available in two cafes on the east coast of Australia. But still, I'm sure the internationals and everyone else would be desperate to know my

thoughts on your sandwich. What if I think it's revolting? Is there a fucking rocket on it? What about the misophones? All of a sudden, these misophones are our content director. We don't even listen to iHeart when they've got criticism for us, which might at least been coming in on heavy. They haven't had

any criticism about the show, actually. No, not us. We got in trouble because they were like, there's a limit on the studio space. If it's a one-hour podcast, how long does it take? And I'm like, well, at least an hour, famously. They were basically being like, you're being greedy with your time. And I'm like, I can't. I can't magically make time go slower.

Mitch and Mitch, can you please fly to Dr. Whoville and get a Horcrux and speed up time using the clock? They said we were using it for too long. I'm like, it takes how long it takes. And they said, Jenna, it's your responsibility to get them out. And I said, what? Since when? Jenna's had no responsibility. We haven't met.

Apparently she's not even sending the fucking prizes. Not one person owns a tote bag. No. What's going on with the totes? I'm trying to find the satchels. You've just got a reception. Where are you looking? In the stationary cupboard.

Yeah, it's not good. Okay, so they're not there. Now what? Now I have to go to reception and maybe even to our- And it's taken you seven days to do that. You say that like Jesus going across the desert. It's like a very easy problem solving. No, it's actually 17 stories down.

In a lift. Yeah, it's an effort. Every time that lift goes down, this is how it sounds. You go down that lift and I go past Cochland. It goes, bing. It's one of those ones that like, it pops your ears. Yeah, it does. We're really high up up here.

Oh, it's beautiful though because Sydney's had a lot of rain and storm recently, which I've loved. I love this weather. And in my studio, I can see it coming, then it hits, then it goes through us. It's like we're in the clouds. Wait, how the fuck are you coping with your hot girl bullshit? Your walks and your runs. I've only done one this week.

Oh, I was going to say actually. But it's all, yeah. That's awful. No walks and your runs. I've only done one this week. Oh. I was going to say, actually. But it's all... Yeah. I'll notice. That's awful. No, it's not. I mean, I don't think you can put on 40 kilos in a week. Oh, I could easily.

You have no idea. When I tell you that there's one thing I know how to do, it's pig out. I mean it. I'm the same, though. We have that in common. Yeah, I could so easily do that. You know what I could eat every day of the week? Double cheeseburger, six nuggets and chips and a Coke Zero. I could live off peanut butter on toast for the rest of my life and be happy. It's not sweet. Oh, now I'm really do that. You know what I could eat every day of the week? Double cheeseburger, six nuggets and chips and a Coke Zero.

I could live off peanut butter on toast for the rest of my life. Nah, peanut butter, it's not sweet. Oh, now I'm really craving it. Oh, I could just eat cookies like unlimited. You know what? I just thought of a fucking solution because they keep getting up as for taking too long to record a one hour podcast. We quit and take the podcast to the competitor?

Good idea. Yeah. We speak in 1.5 speed and then I slow it down later in the edit. That's a really good idea. Hello, Guy. Hey, Mitch. How are you? Anyway, we heard this podcast made you feel at least two bits of the better today. That's all. So we do. Sounds perfect. Oh, Dot Wiggins is here.

Thanks, Dot. I'm actually going to slow that down now in the edit and see how it turns out. L422. What's the song? L422. You don't even know it? L422105622.

Oh, Cheery, that's the whole reason. That's the whole reason we have the fucking jingle is so that we know it off by heart. L422. It's quite clearly. L4229. It's quite clearly. L4 to do, 948202. L4 to do, 948202. Send it to text, babe. So you were putting forward that we record that in that speed.

We speak at that pace because we wouldn't want to get in anyone's fucking way and hog the studio. We have been. We put iHeartRadio on the map. Exactly. You know what? In all the brand checks we get, they're like, hello, Mitch and Mitch, will you be the face of this queer company?

We're like, sure. Yeah. Because we love to support queer voices. There you go. Let me tell you, Amanda Keller's AA Chattery can't look after. But then they walk in the room and say, that's enough talking from you queers. Yeah. We've been very generous in giving you 45 minutes to record a one-hour podcast.

No. Sure, that adds up. Look, we're in a grumpy mood. Double A Chattery are on our side. Who the fuck is that? Oh, who is it? It's AK and Anita. It's Amanda Keller, Jenna's boss.

Why does she keep coming up? I don't understand. No, I'm saying because they're on. You're not even saying their name, but we're still talking about the bitch. Anyway, this is what our opener sounds like now. This is Is It Just Me? Boosted by a couple of bitches.

Hello, you. Hello, you. So this is the speed that we have to talk at. Hello, you. Hello, you. That actually sounds fun. It feels like Christmas. I'm so excited for the episode today.

Yeah, I bet you are. This is exactly how I imagine you felt when we did Will It Blend. That's actually not that fast. I can talk about that, actually. I think it's going to be faster. I just need to know what I'm talking about. In fact, if you're just talking, like I talk about Jenna's Frank Green, the purple bottle, it's not a problem.

You've got your Peppermax bottle as well, Mitchell. I don't reckon I could do that. So I'm just going to sound real dopey. You're going to be speaking so fast, but then when I slow it down, I'm going to sound like this. Oh, my God. Well. It's been a while since we've done a good half speed.

Remember how we slow shit down to make it sound stoned? I agree. We've also, to be honest. It is keep an ear out for a conversation that sounds cooked. Perhaps this one. We'll slow it down again. No, but also we also need to do a, I've lost it. What?

What? Jenna's junk. Got it. Oh, yes. It's been a while. My junk, if I go to my e-gyms, I could give you a junk on the floor. Oh, my junk is your swallow dream. Let's just, for the sake of the demonstration,

give us one of your e-gyms in the junk. Is it just me or? Is it a fake video? I couldn't think of one. No, that's still not fast enough. That's going to take us too long in the studio. Yeah. Is it just me or?

That's better. No, that's still not fast enough. That's going to take us too long in the studio. That's better. Now, the good news is, you're all asking, my cameo appearance in Angeliette is happening. Oh, yes. I got my measurements done in between some songs that we played on the show.

I'm so used to saying that in radio. Literally, Grace came in with a fucking tape measure and goes, sorry, I've got to measure your bodice. She did measure my bodice because they're sending it to the costumery. Speak faster. Because I'm getting a costume made for my role in Angeliette.

When is it? It's a musical in Sydney. But guess what? The funny thing is, I've been told Casey Donovan is not going to appear on that night. What? Why?

Why? Because I really wanted to see her. I haven't studied, but Rob Mills will be there. Then who's going to be Katie? No idea. That's shit. I really wanted to see her perform.

Oh, I know who it is. Who? That's annoying. You're actually really good at that. I can't do it. She was in The Greatest Showman. Ozzy her perform. Oh, I know who it is. Who? It's a girl that was in... That's annoying. You're actually really good at that. I can't do it. She was in The Greatest Showman. Ozzy Actress. Oh my God, no way.

It's happening. You don't even have a date yet. No, but we're going to... We'll post all the details of when any Sydney idiots want to come along to the theatre with us. I also get a bunch of... And they get an excursion and see Cherry in Anne Juliet the musical. Correct.

Keela Settle. Yep. I don't know. TBC. Keela Settle. Okay, can you stop with that now? I'm getting so confused. Her name is Keela Settle. Yep. I don't know. Two percent. Keela Settle. Okay, can you stop with that now? I'm getting so confused. Her name is Keela Settle.

Ah. Well, we hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today. I can't do it. I can barely talk at a normal pace. We do. Hang on. We hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today. That's all.

So we do. Thanks for listening, idiot. Yeah, thank you. And can I say one thing? No, don't. I beeped that out because he chewed into the mic. Stop it. So annoying.

Suddenly we're like little bitches. No, we're not. We're being considerate. Have you heard of it? Look it up. I'm deeply considerate. Clearly not. It's more of a joke.

I actually don't mind. Yeah, but that's not a funny joke. Well, Jenna's laughing. That's because she's hormones up. I'm deeply considerate. Clearly not. It's more of a joke. I actually don't mind. Yeah, but that's not a funny joke. Well, Jenna's laughing. That's because she's hormones up. Imagine if someone said, oh my god, I'm scared of heights, so you push them off a bridge as a joke. Mitchell, that's different. It's not a joke. You're actually just doing exactly what they are triggered by.

No, no, no. That's like someone saying, I'm scared of heights the day I've invited them to my hot air balloon. They're on my hot air balloon. They get up there and they go, hey, I'm scared of heights. You go, well, you've come on my hot air balloon. They're on my hot air balloon. They get up there and they go, hey, I'm scared of heights. You go, well, you've come on my hot air balloon. But they ask nicely if we could just ease up on the eating. Why? What?

By who? By your producer. Oh, shit. Maybe they have a point. Maybe we do take too long. A lot of people hurry. Oh, there's a lot of them. Fuck me.

We should go. I've already said that we 2% better all that. All right, we should go. It's Carol Coke. Thanks, idiots. We'll catch you back on Monday. See you in a couple of bits. See ya.

Bye-bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.