Is It Just Me? - #210: Platter Chatter with Fidan Tok

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

‘Fidan Tok’ has a cult following on TikTok. She’s a mum of twins and works in family law. She likes to keep it real - no sugar coating, no bullshit. She joined us in studio for her first ever podcast appearance! 🍋💛   In this episode: Churi’s botched botox (05:39) Blow out all your air, then try scream (09:46) Fidan joins us! (12:58) Platter chatter (14:58) The backlash to ‘Fuck It, I Can Afford It’ (18:12) Getting recognised at work (22:57) The mystery of Mr Fidan (26:10) Can Fidan change a tyre? (27:56) Does Greek Yoghurt make everything better? (30:46) Emojis in emails (30:46) The Legally Blonde reboot (36:12) Things better than drugs & dick (37:37) Fidan’s message for Reddit trolls (43:47) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (45:56)   Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitches Send us a text: 0422 948 202See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you! Hello you! Go! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Is it just me? Is familiar and farce kind of fun?

Just you, you filthy unhinged bitch. Honestly. What's wrong with you? Now here's Mitch Tully and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, you. Hello, you. Oh, my God. Today is the day.

Today is the bloody day. Today is, today, as you, I mean, you could say, I guess, today is Platter Day. Platter Day. We should have made this episode come out especially on a Saturday for Fadan's sake. No. Fuck it. It's our show. So, we've got a long way to guess today. If you don't know

who we're talking about, her name's Fadan. Very big following on TikTok. She's a mum of twins. Works in family law. And she says on her website she likes to keep it real. No sugar coating and no bullshit. So, we'll see about that. She'll join us in a little bit. Yeah, I'm excited for Fadan. Are you good?

Yeah, I'm good. Great. Have you got your new white comfort? They're new? Thank you for noticing. I've noticed. Yeah, I can tell. Youadan. Are you good? Yeah, I'm good. Great. Have you got your new white comfort? They're new? Thank you for noticing. I've noticed. Yeah, I can tell. You know how I said there was a split in my shoe? Yeah. I literally just, because I hate change this much, I literally just Googled the exact same shoe that I've had for five years and got a new pair.

They're brand new. But the same shoes. Yeah, I know. You're a creature of habit. They look great. Did you chuck the other ones out or are you one of those people that cannot just throw out old shit? No, they're gone. You threw them out?

Yeah, of course I did. Some people can't. The people are attached. I go through a pair of running shoes. But I can't even donate them because they're split at the bottom. If anyone treads in a puddle, they're fucked, which I learnt the hard way. You could take them to a cobbler. A what?

I could put a fresh bottom on them. What's his name? You could go to a cobbler. A cobbler resold shoes. They put like a fresh bottom on a shoe. You his name? You could go to a cobbler, a cobbler resold shoes. They put like a fresh bottom on a shoe. You tell me now. I've just replaced the fucking shoes. I know.

It's too expensive. Like how much are those shoes? Yeah, I was going to say these were on special. So it probably would have cost me just as much. Totally. You feel like when you have an expensive pair of leather boots. It's hard when you're anti-waste because I've got this hideous couch at my place. your anti-waste because I've got this hideous couch at my place.

And when I first moved in, I was explaining to Sean and my friend, Talisha, who was helping me decorate. I was like, I don't want this thing coming with me. Don't even move it in. And they're like, no, no, it's fine. We'll get it reupholstered or whatever. So it's in the house. It's the one you sit on when we record at my lounge room.

You know that orange one? Yeah. Disgusting. Yeah. I hate it. You had that reupholstered? No. Oh, they wanted to get it reupholstered? No. Oh, they wanted to get it upholstered. They wanted to and I was like, well, I'm probably not going to get around to doing that admin

and I still haven't. And I'm like, it would probably be cheaper just to buy a new fucking armchair. It's just a single couch thing. It would be cheaper to just get a new one, but then that's a waste. I'm always torn. I'm such a lazy boy at heart. Like, I could not be bothered to go and get something re-upholstered like i don't even know what that means who do you ask about you are an upholsterer

i guess but if you go um do their houses yeah i barely know and they people will go like to the nth degree to change their curtains and change material or recarp at a house i'm like no i just have the time or energy for that i mean sometimes i can go down real rabbit holes and i'm determined to make something happen, as you know. Yeah. Like, if I really put my mind to it and made that my mission, like, you know how sometimes I get hell-bent on things? Oh, do you?

Yeah. That's news to me. I didn't realise, do you? Yeah. I'll have to write that one down. I remember that. Come birthday time. Pricekeeper Jenna again, not here.

That's fine. We've got a guest third wheel on the way. Yeah, we do. I'm excited. So, Fadan is going to be in here. She's in person too. Like, we do. I'm excited. So Fadan is going to be in here. She's in person too. We were contemplating Zoom, but she actually preferred, she requested to be in person.

Oh, it's always a bit better that way. It seems very awkward. Because especially being a lawyer, imagine if we did a Zoom meeting with her. She'd treat it like a meeting. Yeah, because she's so used to litigating on Zoom. We'll just be like, have a seat on the couch, talk some shit, darling. That's how it works. If she was on Zoom at her desk, it would be very different.

How hard are we going to go on for Darn? Are we going full interrogation 60 minutes or are we keeping it light? That's up to you. It's your guess, mate. I want to ask her about sex things. What? Well, because she's- You're fucked.

Why? That did not spring to mind for me at all. No, no, no. I just wanted- She's a wholesome mother of two. Yeah, but she's not. She's got that book that she wrote about someone's sexcapades. She wrote a

Wilson Boone, some fantasy about the sex experience. I think it was a character that was running around. So you're implying that she's like a kinky bitch at heart. I'm implying that I want to know. You can ask about the sex stuff. I don't want to know. I want to know deep down if she is. It's lucky Mr. Fadan, if so. Well, we better get this show on the

road because Fadan is going to be joining us in a bit and she wants to be able to get out of here in time for school pickup. Oh my God, we have to change the whole recording schedule so Fadan could get here so she could pick the kids up. Well, fair enough. And rightly so. She's working. She's to take time off her law firm. That's right. There's a divorce that is on hold because she's coming on this podcast. If you're listening to this and your divorce case was held back by a day, that's our fault. A thousand apologies. Yeah, we're very sorry. If it is your first time listening, welcome to Is It Just Me? Every episode we start the show with an Is It Just Me?

Something we've noticed, we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's. We'll get one from our guest today. Shall I go first? Yeah, you can kick things off. Mine is, I figured because we've got a TikTok treasure joining us today. Icon.

I would make mine a bit TikTok related. It's a challenge that I saw. And I actually think a lot of people fuck this up, but I reckon you could do it. Okay. Oh, that's very sweet. I do. You've always said I should post more TikToks. Yes, I have.

I can't recall once, but I probably have. You have a couple of times and I've just never fucking done it. All right. Well, I'll jump in with mine first. Because mine's about my physical appearance right now. Right now? Yeah. Don't look at my crotch.

I didn't. You just glanced down at my dick. I did not. Roll the cameras. All right. Let's do it. Bradley. Is it just me or?

Can you notice the work that I've had done? No. I could notice work that needs to be done that's not the question um i got botox oh right of course in my forehead only the third time i'm not a botox veteran i'm very new to it i went with somewhere locally yeah it's just a local business i love them the ladies they're gorgeous they're they're amazing And I, this is the awkward thing. I didn't want to go to my old place because they're so fucking expensive. Really expensive.

Yeah. Didn't you go to some fucking boutique in Double Bay? No wonder. I did. I know. God, you idiot. It was too expensive. So I wanted somewhere local, but I didn't know how much Botox I got.

And I wanted to know. Yeah, because they usually have it on file. Yes. And I did not want to go to the new place and they guess and then I look like a fucking idiot. So I was sitting there and I was actually talking to Stephen. I was like, how can I call the old place, get the results, get my file.

Can you transfer his medical records, please? But without them knowing that I'm breaking up with them. Yeah, wow. So this was my genius plan. Tell me if you think it's good. At first I was going to say, I'm at the doctor's and they want to know what i have in me how many milligrads i know that was my first idea and they're like well it's private actually yes yes no no so i called get this i'm a genius yeah i go they go

hello business i go hi guys mitch cheering like hi miss do you want to rebook in i go oh i'm thinking of but i think it's too soon guys it's my botox has worn off so quickly when was the last time i was there so you accused them of malpractice no no i went when was the last time i was here they went oh um three months ago darling and i went oh god i think it's just worn off how many units did i say three months is is it yeah that's that's the due date i shot myself in the foot i went three months i went can you just tell me how many units did I get? Because I was going to say three months is – Is it? Yeah, that's the due date. I shot myself in the foot. I went, three months? I went, can you just tell me how many units I had?

I think I didn't get enough. And they went, well, three months is pretty standard, Darl. They wouldn't give it to you? No, no, no. I went, oh, really? I went, I just feel like I got less. Do you have it on file? And they went, yeah, let me get it for you.

I was like, yes. So they told me how many units I got. I'm like, would you like to book us in? But I had to follow through. I went, yeah, rebook in a week. So I rebooked in a week, then I cancelled. Oh, my God. You had to go through that many hoops. Yeah, but it worked because I went straight to the new place.

But the problem is we upped the dose and my forehead is fully frozen. Look at the camera now. I want the idiots to tell me. My right eyebrow doesn't move, but my left one does. Show us. Okay, ready? Now try and move the other one i am oh i thought you were doing one at a time yeah your right eyebrow just doesn't move that's fucking weird look they've given you too much i think yeah shit now i'm really noticing the work

you do not move at all how would i oh my god you just moved your ears but you can't move your eyebrows oh my god i just i just discovered ear movement look in the camera you can move your ears, but you can't move your eyebrows. Oh my God. I just discovered ear movement. Look in the camera. You can move your ears? Yeah. I've got a really loose scalp. Can you do that? No. I'm not going to try.

That can't be good for your brain condition. No, I think it's good. I've got really loose skin on my scalp. Wow. Everything moves except the forehead. Yeah. I'm not happy. I think you need to ease up a bit.

That's too much. I think so. I'm frozen. Yeah. Were you heavier in the last dose? Yeah, too heavy apparently. They're giving you the fat Mitch dose. I know.

Oh my God. Maybe that's it. Like when a dog or like they have to put down like an elephant to put it to sleep. They have to do it by weight. Maybe I'm getting Botox by my old weight. Yeah, probably. Oh, I'm frozen. Anyway.

Do I look gorgeous though? Yeah, gorgeous as always. I'm going to ask for done. Do I look gorgeous? Do I look gorgeous for done? You going to ask for Dan. Do I look gorgeous? Do I look gorgeous for Dan? You're so full of yourself. Do you get Botox for Dan? Part of me was worried about having this Botox conversation because I've been accused recently

of being so insensitive during the cost of living crisis but hey, you were trying to get cheaper Botox. I was trying to get, I was trying to CosiLives. Is it expensive? Listen, CosiLives has fucking hit me hard. I'm living with my parents guys. CosiLives has got me. I live at home. I'm 28 and I live at home. I was trying to get, I was trying to CosiLives. Is it expensive? Listen, CosiLives has fucking hit me hard. I'm living with my parents, guys. CosiLives has got me. I live at home. I'm 28 and I live at home. I have sex

with my boyfriend at home. If anyone's hit by the cost of living crisis, it's me and my genitals and my sex life. Anyway, would you like to hear my Is It Just Me? No. Well, I'll just go fuck myself. No, no, no, I do. Hit me, hit me. I'll keep it short and sweet. Let's go, Bradley. Is it just me? No. Well, I'll just go fuck myself. No, no, no, I do. Hit me, hit me. I'll keep

it short and sweet. Let's go, Bradley. Is it just me? Have you ever tried to scream after exhaling? Oh, I've seen this. I'm not a fan of your attitude lately. I've seen this. You just yell at me and go, no, I don't like it. We're not doing it. Mitchell, it's the Botox in everything. I'm ecstatic. I've seen this trend on TikTok. I think this is brilliant.

Have you tried it though? Of course not. So there's a trend on TikTok at the moment where people are trying to completely empty their gut, do the deepest of deep exhales and then try scream after. So just do a normal scream. Off mic. A scream? Yeah. Do the deepest of deep exhales and then try scream after. So just do a normal scream. Off mic. A scream?

Yeah. Okay. Ah! Ah! Okay. And now – Stop. That's enough.

Sorry. And now exhale. Like completely push all the air out your stomach. People driving along listening to this, if you're driving alone, give it a crack. Although don't faint behind the wheel. And just when you think all the air's out, keep going. Now scream. That was so stupid. That's the funniest shit I've ever heard.

That was so stupid. Is that the first time you've tried it? Yes, that's the first time I've heard that sound. I haven't tried it yet. Okay, do it. So obviously a normal scream. Yeah. Right now.

More, more, more, more. That's all I can do. You sound so stupid. I was giving myself a stitch. That hurts. What's the point of this trend? Well, look at you. You're laughing more than you have at any of my jokes in weeks.

That's not true. It's not true. Have you seen that trend where if you go all the way down, you breathe all the way out, then you push your chest in and that reveals your real laugh? We've done that on the show. What is that? I don't think we have.

We have. Tell me again. I think you breathe out and then you get someone to push on your chest and that is your real laugh. Oh. So what do I do? I don't know. Hold on.

I'm going to breathe out. Well, I'm glad you brought it up. Okay, let's try. I'm getting up. Okay, so I breathe all the way out again. Yep. Sorry. Yep. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Ow. That didn't work. That didn't make me laugh. That didn't work. I just broke your rib cage. Ow. Are you all right? That didn't do shit.

Oh, no, no, no, no. You have to be saying, you're going to be laughing. You're going to say ha, ha, ha. Oh, you just told me to exhale. I know, but just laugh. You've got to be laughing and it reveals your real ha oh you just told me to exhale i know but just laugh you've got to be laughing and it reveals your i remember now it's ringing your bell it's like ha ha ha and then you press down on my tits all right ready yeah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ow just passed a bowel movement this didn didn't work. My TikTok challenge worked.

Fail. Anyway, Fidan's up next. Let's move on. You're listening to Is It Just Me? Welcome to Fidan Talk. All right, this is a very exciting moment for all of us. This is long awaited on the show, Mitchell. Very long awaited.

Yeah, and this was something that I was tasked quite a few months ago. You gave yourself the task. Yeah, I did. I'm the guest booker on the show. And through your own procrastination, this has accidentally become our most hyped guest ever. I know. I think people, because famously, I never end up getting guests. I say, hey, I'm talking to this, I'm talking

to Chris Hemsworth, and it just never comes off. But this, I was talking to this person for quite a while, and it has come off. You will know her as one of Australia's favourite creators, sort of coming out of nowhere, I feel. You'll have seen her work on TikTok, maybe her book. She's also an author. It's the one and only Fadan.

Hi, Fadan. Hi. Hi. Do you do podcasts often? I've seen you on the telly and stuff. No, this is my first podcast. Oh, great. Okay.

Well, you can relax here. We just talk shit. Oh, great. Okay, well, you can relax here. We just talk shit. It's fine. Yeah, I saw you on the morning show or sunrise and those shows, we've done live TV. It's like wham, bam, get you in, get you out. You don't get to say what you want. It's very stressful. Did you find it stressful?

Yeah, it went way too quickly. They gave me four minutes of their time and I had so much to say, but I had- Well, that's about all I've got time for, Fadana. Thanks, Fadana. I appreciate it. Yeah, it was a bit like that. Yeah. Listen, we have a present for you.

So Mitch has already given you something off the show. Yes, thank you. The mug. The mug. We gave Fadan a mug. But this is my boyfriend, Stephen, got this for you. Oh. We love gifts.

I've just got this. Yeah. He did more than that, didn't he? I know. It says Fadan. It's a little cosmetic bag and it's got a lemon. It's bedazzled. Oh, that's so cute.

He bedazzles things. Love. It's his thing. Thank Oh, that's so cute. He bedazzles things. Love. Love. Thank you. What's his name? Stephen. Stephen. Love it, Stephen.

Thank you. There you go. Beautiful. Just to welcome you to the show because you love your lemons. And I think, Mitch, did I introduce you to Fadan? Yes. I said, have you seen this woman? She's on TikTok.

She's got the catchphrases, the Saturday platyday, which we love. I've got the apron. What are some of your other catchphrases? Fuck it, I can afford it. Yes. I say that a fair bit. The big hole people when I'm putting salt on things because I always use the big hole.

The saxer. Squeeze the day, the saxer. Yeah, the saxer. I love the saxer, yeah. Yeah, squeeze the day. Yep. That's another lemon thing. Saturday platter day I feel is the more iconic one

because you just serve food on a platter. Here's what I find confusing. It's a lot of work, man. It doesn't look like a lot of work. on a platter. Here's what I find confusing. It's a lot of work, man. It doesn't look like a lot of work. I was going to say, this is what I find confusing about the Saturday platter day thing because the whole idea behind it is I'm not cooking dinner on a Saturday. I can't be bothered. So instead I'm doing a platter.

But I find that more stressful, a platter. I'd rather just make dinner because like my fucking group of gays, they treat making platters like it's a competitive Olympic sport. Yeah. Who can make the best platter? I just don't get involved. I'm like, here's a fucking packet of Cheezels. That's my platter.

Yeah, they get the salami, they make it a rose. Yes. But you make it look so easy. How do you do that? Yeah, well, because I'm not pleasing anyone. It's just hubby, me and the kids. But they look spectacular. Yeah, well, it's just pretty, you know, and it's just fresh stuff.

So I'll go shopping that day for stuff on Saturday. We don't get old things out of the fridge. We're using all fresh stuff. Yeah. And then I just put it all together and it's just so delicious. And you find that easier than making dinner. Yeah, remember I'm cooking every other night. That's true.

So fuck, man, we've got to mix it up. I have to ask, how the fuck do you cut those cucumbers with such confidence? Oh, it's a knife, man. Without cutting yourself? Because, Mitch, you can back me up here. The amount of times I've come in here with fucking Band-Aids all over my fingers because I've accidentally sliced it again. Yeah, Mitch is like Edward Scissorhands.

And you, you've got a paring knife, you've got a cucumber with the same hand and you're cutting the blade into your thumb. It makes me so stressed watching your videos. I'm like, she's not even looking. She's going to cut her finger. What is the technique? I think it's an ethnic thing. We just learnt, like, that's how you peel an apple.

That's how you peel. My armour does the same thing. Yeah, and you just chop. We just learnt, like, that's how you peel an apple. My armour does the same thing. Yeah, and you just chop, chop, chop, chop. It's how it is. So I can have a chopping board in front of me, but my instinct is not to use it. And I'll be like, oh, that's right, there's a chopping board. But I just like to cut in my hand.

You've never had any platter injuries? Very rare. Okay. Really? That makes you feel a bit more human because it happens all too often. Just when one heals, I'll do it again. It's always cabbage that gets me. Dyson cabbage.

What's cabbage? What's cabbage? No, no, but how does a cabbage come? I've never cut a cabbage. I just buy it shredded. Oh, do you? No. Oh.

Oh, it's like a soccer ball, isn't it? Yeah, but I'm just shredding it myself with a knife. You need to buy it pre-shredded. It's not that hard to understand. No, I live by the packet stuff. Oh, yeah, I love the packets. Oh, the cut broccoli, the zoodles, the cut carrot. You don't have to cut anything.

You don't need a knife these days. Salad. Think of the plastic Mitchell. Oh, now they're going to come for me for the painting of the plastic. Sorry, guys. I love your TikToks. I just will turn on like after a long day of work and you're making dinner and you're just filming it.

It's on TikTok and it's like a 10-minute TikTok. Did you just say fuck editing? I'm just going to film and I'm going to upload. I don't're just filming it. It's on TikTok and it's like a 10-minute TikTok. Did you just say, fuck editing? I'm just going to film and I'm going to upload. I don't have time for it. Yeah, I don't even know how to edit. Sometimes I'll be like, ooh, that could be controversial. I should edit that out. I'm like, ah, who's got time for that?

Nobody. Do you worry about the controversy of things or putting things out there online? Because the internet is an interesting place and you surely can upset many people very quickly on the internet. Yeah, I think I've been on TikTok for nearly two years now and I've learned about being really flippant about stuff. And I used to be because I'd be like,

you know, I've got lots of junk in my office that people have sent me and everyone was like really offended that I referred to it as junk. Yeah. And I meant stuff and I used the word interchangeably. I didn't mean like it wasn't quality items. But I was like, oh, they're right. So then I'm like when I refer to that, I would never say that again because I learnt the lesson.

It was taken the wrong way. Yeah. Can I actually ask about one of your catchphrases, the whole fuck it, I can afford it thing? Yeah. Recently on the podcast, there was something that happened here. I was talking about the fact that I just paid off my student loan. I just wanted the debt gone. Brilliant. And then I got a message from someone saying, oh, that's really insensitive

during the cost of living crisis to rub that in. Some people would love to be able to clear their debts. You shouldn't be bragging about that. And I was like, oh, sorry, didn't even consider that, taking it on board. But then I see people like you who get away with saying, fuck it, I can afford it. You make no secret of shopping at all the high end places. Do you ever get pushback about that? I do. But I think the reason that it's okay is because I have a full time job. I'm a partner in a law firm.

I work very hard. People will see me working on public holidays, going in on the weekends, coming back home when it's dark, not spending time with my kids because I'm working. So there's the balance of, yeah, I can afford it because I fucking work hard. It's not a, I'm an influencer. I make money off you watching me on TikTok and I don't have a real job.

So I'm going to flaunt my wealth to you guys and go, it's not that. So I think I can get away with it. Oh, that's an interesting point. You're not an influencer out there benefiting from the audience. That's how you're making your money. You're going, fuck it, I can afford it because I'm working

a nine to five. Yeah, more than nine to five. Yeah, I can imagine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're a lawyer by trade. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. If we said something that Ferdinand didn't like, Mitchell,

she could litigate us. She could end us. Sue you up. Oh, my God. Would you sue us? No, I'd never. Yeah. Oh, that's a nice answer.

You work in family law, correct? I do. Perfect. We should bring this up with her while she's here, Mitch. What is it? The whole situation between Jenna and I. Normally we have our third wheel Jenna here with us. Perfect. We should bring this up with her while she's here, Mitch. What is it? The whole situation between Jenna and I. Normally we have our third wheel Jenna here with us. Yeah.

And her and I, we were talking the other day on the podcast about if she were to embark on motherhood, single mum, she just needed a donor. Whose sperm would she choose? Myself or Mitch Turi? She chose me naturally, Fadan. No, no, not naturally. Naturally she chose me. I don't think naturally.

And so hypothetically. When I walked in, sorry, Fadan did say, well, Mitch, you're very tall, very handsome to me. So I think Fadan would choose mine in this situation. No one asked, mate. I'm just trying to get someone to take my sperm. No one wants it. So like hypothetically, if Jenna and I were to do that,

what would I need to be aware of as the donor, like legally going into that? Any red flags? Yeah, well, don't go on the birth certificate if you don't want any involvement in the child's life and in particular child support. You're on the birth certificate, you're up for child support immediately. So you're not a donor, you're a father if you're on the birth certificate.

Okay. But then if I'm not on the birth certificate, again, it's all hypothetical here. It's just boom, right, it's just boom. But then do I, am I not allowed to meet the kid and stuff? It depends on, and you should really have a deal. Oh, I see. So that's where we'd come see someone like you.

Yeah, you could draft documents about this and you can have like a contract about it. But predominantly your rights come from the birth certificate. So when people have said previously, okay, I've got my best friend, a donor, and they go on the birth certificate. And then later in life, that person says, you know what? I think I missed out on like the hard yards. They missed all the baby stuff. The kids all of a sudden fun, can communicate playing soccer or whatever.

I want to be involved in this kid's life. And they can enforce their rights. Why? Because they're on birth certificate. Oh, so you've had cases like that where originally they agreed, oh, I'll be a hands-off dad but then change their mind later. Yeah. Right.

And it's really tough on the mother because that wasn't the deal. The deal was you're a sperm donor. You didn't pay child support all those years. You weren't involved in the hard slog and yet you come back later. But in terms of the child, the child has a right to know both of their parents and the court would look at it from that perspective. So if you're not on the birth certificate, you're not a father, you're not a parent.

You're just a donor. So you can deal with all that, Mitchell. I'd rather not be involved. I'll just be a godfather. You're not involved. Yeah, it's heavy stuff. Yeah, I'll be a fun involved. I'll just be a godfather. You're not involved. Yeah, it's heavy stuff. Yeah, I'll be a fun uncle. I'm about to become an uncle in real life.

Fun. And then also I've got my hopes set on being asked to be godfather. Oh, the godfather. Yeah, the godfather. Is that a legal binding name? No, it's not. Oh, I thought it was. I didn't think so.

No, it's not a legal thing. It's more a traditional thing. It might even be a religious thing. Yeah, okay. I just like the title. I like titles. It makes me feel very fancy. It's a cool title. It might even be a religious thing. Yeah, okay. I just like the title. I like titles. It makes me feel very fancy. It's a cool title.

It is a very cool title. I have to point out, Fadan, the fit is fitting. You've got the Gucci headband. I love. Oh, you love. Yes, it is cool. Thank you. I think I saw you buy that on TikTok a couple months ago.

You may have. And, of course, I've never worn these before. I'm wearing my Jimmy Choos for the first time. They're Jimmy Choos. I thought they were Jimmy Choos. They're red and they're sparkly. Yeah, they're like Wizard of Oz. They're like Dorothy. I was thinking that. They're Jimmy Choos. I thought they were Jimmy Choos. They're red and they're sparkly. Yeah, they're like Wizard of Oz.

They're like Dorothy. I was thinking that. They're so cute. Where do you get your fashion? Who's your fashion inspo? Like if you were to say there's someone that you look at and go, that's who I want to dress like, is there someone out there or someone? No, I'm not that person.

Really? No, I call myself the original dag because I will put things that don't go together and I will just buy whatever I like and whether or not the colours match. And I'm always getting feedback on TikTok for, darn, that top doesn't go with that jacket. There's no. You're mixing the greens, that sort of thing. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, whatever I like.

People really feel like they know you on TikTok. Do you get stopped in the street now all the time? People ask you for photos. Shopping centres, I do. I get that all the time. You know, we actually had Gina Liano on the podcast recently. She works in family law too. And she told us that often in like the courtroom environment,

people in the children's court will ask for selfies and she'll have to be like, um, not now guys, I can't take a photo in court. Do you get recognised in like the work environment now that you're on TikTok? I do, but most people are really respectful and don't say anything until after the case is over. So I've had like the judge's associate come in and say, like after the case is over, we're packing up the bags at the bar table in the courtroom. Oh, for darn, I'm a big fan. And if the client's there, they're like, oh, I feel like the judge's associate come in and say, like after the case is over, we're packing up the bags at the bar table in the courtroom. Oh, for darn, I'm a big fan. Oh, wow. And if the client's there, they're like, oh, I feel like the court's on my side.

Oh my God, that was my next question. Do you think it helps or hinders your business? Because I don't know, if I was watching TikTok, scrolling, watching all these ridiculous videos, then my family lawyer came up. I don't know if I'd go, oh, I love that or I hate that. Yeah, it's interesting. I think for the most part, I think it's a good thing.

Yeah, I was going to say, surely you'd get more people trying to book you. Yeah, because the expertise is there. They know that I'll fight for you. And like not all lawyers are the same. Somebody can look like a lawyer. Let's say they're a white, older male who looks like they're really intelligent. They wear glasses. They look like they're really intelligent.

That's sort of what most people sort of figure a lawyer looks like classic lawyer but baggy suit yeah like that guy who has all these books behind him may look really intelligent but let's say he was a teacher for 30 years became a lawyer later in life he's only a five-year lawyer but the client has no idea goes to sees the guy who looks really smart and yet not that great lawyer actually shit lawyer and when people like I'm on North Shore Mums and in there when people say, oh, I'm looking for a lawyer, blah, blah, blah. And then people post in the comments and they post people who I know are really, really bad, like shit lawyers.

And I feel like they're their friends, their family, their uncle, whatever. Go and see whoever. And it's a really bad referral because I know that lawyer is really bad and I'll say nothing. It's not my place. But what is better is I used so-and-so. Always get a referral when a client has used you because then, you know, they did a good thing because they're referring you on because they actually did a good service.

And I get lots of client referrals and people on TikTok say in my comments, oh, yeah, I used Fadan and she was great or whatever. It builds a little bit of confidence, I think. Now, what is going on with this cat and dog situation? Because I was screaming at my phone. Hold on, I'm filming in, what? Okay, Fadan, great TikTok presence. Life is on lock.

She's got the Saturday play today. Got the gorgeous two children. And then I see you going, I think I might get a dog. And then I might get a cat. I'm thinking, Fadan, aren't you going to drive yourself insane? Why are you doing this to yourself? And now you've got them. Yeah, I've got a puppy and a kitten.

Haven't you got enough on your platter as it is? I know. Well, fuck it. She can afford it. It's true. It's a lot. Yeah it is? I know. Well, fuck it. She can afford it. It's true. It's a lot. Yeah. I don't know if I thought that through, but we're getting through it day by day. How's it going? Is it alright? Well, the puppy toilet training is difficult.

The cat is fine because cat has a good litter situation. They're very intelligent. Mitch is a cat guy. I agree. They just instinctively know where to shit. It's amazing. It's so great. So the cat has it, gets it. The puppy, not so much. What kind of dog? Cavalier.

Oh, gorgeous. I've got a Cavoodle. Very cute. Do they get along? No. But they play. Like, they fight all the time. Play, fight.

But the dog will, like, bite the cat's ears, bite the tail, jump on the cat. But the cat will, you know, get the dog in a headlock. Good. I'm team cat. Yeah. Are you team cat? Yeah. In this situation, biting your ears, that's just rude.

Yeah, yeah. They fight a lot. Now, we need to get you to do an Is It Just Me of your own. You've got an idiom. But before we do, I want to ask about the Mr. Fadana of it all. The internet is obsessed with trying to find your husband. I don't get it. Leave him alone.

Yeah, yeah. And he's not – like he just is not phased, not interested in social media, hates TikTok, doesn't even watch my TikToks, just thinks that the drama is ridiculous and he's not interested in social media hates tiktok doesn't even watch my tiktoks yeah um just thinks that the drama is ridiculous and he's not interested so and i said to him because you're not participating and i want to do sometimes the couple trends yeah and i want to get him involved no not interested there's a mystery don't you just want to post a photo to go here he is shut the fuck up no but you've come this far keeping a mystery he will never compromise his integrity

that way because he's not a believer in social media and a private person at heart. Does that give you a bit of freedom to potentially talk shit about him on TikTok if you know he's not going to watch? People will tell him. Yeah, I have thought about that. Is it just me? You can follow the show online. Just search Couple of Mitches. If you don't, you're a dickhead.

Well, Fadan, I can't believe this is your first podcast. Yes. Are you feeling comfortable? Are you feeling relaxed? I am, yes, having a great time. Yeah, good. Well, should we get Fadan's idjim? Yes, we wanted you to bring an is it just me of your own.

What are you thinking? Have you got one prepared? Well, there's a lot of pressure. I thought about a couple of things. I've got a couple of ideas because I couldn't decide which one. So I'll tell you the first one that comes to mind. Okay, we'll do the first one. If it tanks, we can just do another one. Which, by the way, no pressure. They tank all the time. If it's shit, I'd tell Cherry. That sucked. I think last week I did an Is It Just Me that I've done three times. We've been doing this show so long.

I forget that I've had the thought and I bring it back up. Mitch is like, you said that four years ago. Oh dear, you could have confused me. Nothing changes around here. So, all right. Well, Bradley, our musician, will count you in. You'll hear Is It Just Me? Okay. And then you finish the sentence.

And we'll just rattle them all off. We'll go through them all. Oh, brilliant. Okay. Yeah, right. Let's go. Bradley? Is it just me or?

Should we have learned how to change a tyre in school? Oh, yeah. That would have been a far more useful skill than algebra. Yeah, I agree. I had one of those like dodge driving lessons in high school. They taught you how to go around cones and things. Did you? You were in the car?

That's part of high school. Yeah, an invasive – what's it called? Were you private or public? Public. I'm surprised their insurance would cover that. Really? Yeah, I don't think they cared about us, to be honest. We were doing some dodgy shit.

I was the passenger and they went around cones. This is how you get away in a skid. Oh, how boring if you're the passenger. Yeah, you don't drive. I'm like, God, no. You wouldn't have had a licence? No, God, no. Wait, so do you think, would you prefer to have known in school?

Well, when I watch American TV and you see them doing driver's ed and they're learning how to drive a car and they're learning skills associated with the car known in school? Well, when I watch American TV and you see them doing driver's ed and they're learning how to drive a car and they're learning skills associated with the car and I assume it's how to change a tyre. Do they actually do that in America? Yes. As part of school? Yes. Oh, well then fuck, let's just copy paste the curriculum and do it here. That'd be great.

No, I don't want America's curriculum. American school isn't perfect by any means. Have you ever been caught in a pinch though, either of you, where you've had to change a tyre? It's handy to know. No, I couldn't do it. I'm too pretty for that. I just call NRMA.

I'm not going to touch all that filth on the tyres. I just call NRMA and you have to wait an hour or whatever or call hubby. See, waiting for the NRMA shit, that to me, for whatever reason, feels like a waste of time. I'm just like, I'm going to pop the spare on. I'm on the go. I'm moving. I only ever drive my car when I've got errands to do. And so I'm just like, I'm going to pop the spare on. I'm on the go. I'm moving.

I only ever drive my car when I've got errands to do. And so I'm like, I'm not going to let that slow me down. I'm changing the tyre. Off we go. Do you have the spare tyre? So I used, here's my first world problem. I used to have a Mercedes and in the boot, when I got my flat tyre and opened it, there's no spare.

They have the goop. Do you know about the goop? What's the goop? Oh, is that like you patch it up? No, it's, well, maybe it that like you patch it up? No. Well, maybe it's like a patch. But yeah, they put something instead on the tyre. We call it the goop.

I don't know what the real technical term is. And it stops the hole. Yeah, they basically plug the hole and you ride around on the tyre. Wow. Rather than a spare. I wouldn't trust that. So they just got like this goop. And I'm like, where's the spare note? And I'm like, this car costs an exorbitant amount of money

and you didn't give me a spare. Should have gotten an Astra for done. Yeah, my hell knows got the spare note? And I'm like, this car costs an exorbitant amount of money and you didn't give me a spare. Should have gotten an ASCA for done. Yeah, my whole nose got a spare for done. I've traded cars now. Yeah, okay. They don't always come with a spare. No. Okay, good. I'll just do another one. So neither of you know how to change a tyre at all?

No, I could. It's very intuitive. I think a jack's involved. That's all I can tell you. Oh, the tricky part for me, because I've had to change my tyre an embarrassing amount of times. I always clip the gutter like a grandma. The hardest part is finding the jack points. You can't just jack it up at any point. You have to like finger under the car and find the right slot to put the jack in. I'm used to that. Neither of you give a fuck about this, do you?

No, I'm used to that. I was going to say I've plugged many a hole, but it's got nothing to do with changing a tyre, Fadan. All right. I can see Fadan's phone. She's got notes. Oh, you've got a few. This is the most prepared.

Shit, let's hear the next one. Bradley, don't go away, mate. Okay, my next one is Is it just me or Does Greek yogurt make every dinner taste better? Oh, yes. Next.

No, I agree. I fucking agree. Not on its own. You can't just plop Greek yogurt on a chicken breast. And it's not all Greek yogurt is created equal. I'm a Farmers Union fan. It's creamy. It's delicious. Is that the square tub?

Like it's kind of a square big tub? Yeah, it's square rectangle. It's not like a round shabani. No, it's not round. It's rectangle. And it's just so creamy and you can have it with everything, especially lamb. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, but I don't know if you can put it on anything. I like a bit of lemon or a bit of like – you put a bit of mint or – Yeah, well, salt, olive oil, lemon. That's all you need. They're staples. I pop a bit of bloody yogurt on everything. A bit of pepper in there, a bit of garlic. I use it in lieu of mayonnaise basically because I actually hate fucking vegetables,

but apparently you're supposed to eat them for your health. Yeah. And so I just pop a dollop of yogurt on pretty much everything. Kadan, I've just got a Ninja Creamy. Are you on the Ninja Creamy side of TikTok? I know what a Ninja is. Yeah, Ninja, you've got the air fries. I've seen that.

Yeah, and I know they do a blender and I know they do an outdoor oven like a barbecue thing. Yes, and they also have a Creamy, which is you put liquids in a tub, you freeze it, then it makes it into ice cream. Oh, right. Yeah, if you get on that side of TikTok. Are they paying you, mate? What's going on? No, they're actually fucking not.

And I really need to talk to Mr Ninja because I should be making bank offers. Anyway, you put yogurt and honey and a bit of cinnamon in a pot, freeze it, and then you've got the best locale ice cream ever. It really does sound like an ad. Let's move on. Yeah, I was going to say, why don't you talk about it? I thought for darn, given your side of TikTok, you'd be on Ninja Creamy Talk.

No, because I'm not an ice cream person. Like Ninja did approach me and said, pick whatever you like, as many as you like, things off our website. Give them Mitch's number. Can you be serious? And I was like, ooh, and they didn't give me a budget. I'm like, is there a budget? They didn't give me a budget.

How many things do I pick? So I picked the big Ninja because I had the two-drawer one. Picked the big Ninja. The air fryer. So I upgraded my air fryer. And then I picked the outdoor barbecue oh they've got an outdoor yeah it's like a barbecue but i didn't know that it's a like you've got to plug it in and you can only use it outdoors i thought it was a barbecue you can use

indoors oh right so my dinners but then when i read the instructions it's like do not use indoors and i'm like oh no shit what are they gonna do with your house your rules yeah yeah well i'm a little worried about fires um but I thought about a blender. That makes fun of us. But I don't eat ice cream, so I would never have. Well, shit, can you give me that contact off when we finish the show? Yeah. I'll hook you up.

I'm doing a lot of free fucking PR for you. Yeah, yeah, it took me like two years, but finally they got the hint. Okay, let's do another one. She's got plenty. Okay, Bradley, hit us again. Is it just me or? Is it just me or Should we be able to use emojis in everyday life, in particular when you're writing correspondence or writing letters,

and I just want to use an emoji. Oh, I thought you meant everyday life as in like we gesticulate. We try and replicate the emoji in conversations ourselves. The crying with laughter emoji just in real life. Well, sometimes what you want to say is exactly an emoji. Yes. No, you're right. If only you could just hold up the sign that had the emoji there or, you know, magically it would appear.

Or when I'm writing legal letters to the other side, sometimes I want to put an emoji in there. Or when the client, like I have this client who we call the other side, B1 and B2, because they just write really dumb things. And I just want to send him the banana emojis when I'm talking. But I don't want to write B1 and B2, so I just want to send him the banana emojis when they write really dumb things. I definitely do put emojis in my emails, but perhaps there's less at stake for me than working in law.

But do you do that by pushing Windows dot? On the Mac it's like control command space bar or something. So you know the little code. Yeah. Because I've only recently discovered that you could do that. You can. With the Windows dot. And so what's stopping you now that you know how?

Carolina, there's only like 10 emojis. I want all of them. I want the face palm. Oh, wait, you're on Windows? Yeah. Yeah, right. You've got the ugly emojis. I've never considered if I put an emoji in an email,

how will that translate on someone's PC? Oh, yeah. I think they're those ugly Android emojis. They look the same, but they're gross. Fadan, you also could not. If I was in a court of law and someone was suing me and then it comes up with Mitchell Turi with like a little shuckers emoji, like you're being served by Fadan with a little finger up emoji.

But this isn't. No, I don't buy this. I reckon you should sign off your emails with Fadan and then the nail polish emoji. Oh, yeah. That's like fancy, you know. Oh, yeah, wouldn't that be right? Or lemons.

What emoji encapsulates Fadan, do you think? Oh, it's got a bit of lemon. Yeah. Fadan's got lemon earrings on your phone case. I'm all about lemons. So, yeah, it's just a bit of a phase, but every time anyone sees lemons anywhere, I get tagged like so much.

Like Spotlight, Reject Shop, they've been having lemon stuff, TJ Maxx, for a long time and people think that I don't already know, so I'll get like a hundred messages telling me, there's dinnerware at Spotlight with lemons. Did you see that big lemon on TikTok that that woman had grown? And it looked like a, it was huge, it was like this big. Yes. And then she cut it in half. Yes.

And it was had all these little- How big was it? It was like this big, but it was- There was a word for it. Yeah, it was a wild lemon and it just had different channels. Like the size of a basketball. Yes. Yeah, it was, yeah It was like this big. There was a word for it. Yeah, it was a wild lemon and it just had different – Like the size of a basketball. Yes. Yeah, probably about that big. I'm just trying to remind you that you're on a podcast.

You're using your hands going this big. I know. I've made a career out of an audio medium, Fadan, and I never learned that people can't see me. And it's a travesty because I'm very gorgeous, as Fadan said. And they cut it in half and it was like a brain. And yeah. Yeah, I was tagged a lot in that video.

Yes, all over it. All right. Do you have one more? Do one more, Ijum, I think. Do you have another one? How many more have you got? Oh, I think I've got one more. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was tagged a lot in that video. Yes, all over it. All right, do you have one more? Do one more, Ijum, I think. Do you have another one? How many more have you got? Oh, I think I've got one more. Oh, sweet.

Oh, we may as well. We've come this far. Come on. All right, Bradley, off we go. Is it just me or? Is the news that they're making a new Legally Blonde, I think it's a series, the best news ever? Oh, just you.

We love Legally Blonde. We love Elle Woods. No, maybe it's a girl thing. I've not seen it. Well, we're very gay. I've never seen Legally Blonde. How could you have never seen it? Oh, you're missing out. I've seen it, but sometimes I feel like turning shit into a series, it just ruins it, you know.

Like sometimes sequels can really suck. Sequels do. Legally Blonde 2 was shithouse. Was it? Very bad. Don't do it. Sometimes the sequels of things are better than the original. Like Shrek 2, so much better than Shrek 1.

No, I disagree. Really? I don't think the series of Legally Blonde could possibly be better than the movie. But what if her daughter plays Elle Woods, the young Elle? You know how like Grace Witherspoon and her daughter Ava look the same? Yeah. Oh, I see. It's like when she was in high school.

See, they did that with Grease. It was like the rise of the pink ladies. Oh, did they? I don't care about some clique in a high school before the main characters turned up. I don't care about the history. It's also very you, Fadan. Like it's lawyer, right?

Yes. It's the lawyer life. That's true. It's lawyer that dresses well. It's literally you. It's inspiring. It's who you are. That's your celeb lookalike.

You can be Elle Woods. Okay. I'll take it. Oh, my God. Fadam, the Australian Elle Woods. They're practically twins. Basically, yeah. Okay.

Well, great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. you? I don't think you can ask Fadan. Why not? We ask every guest. She's a lawyer and she holds herself with such esteem. You're very regal. I just feel like we should skip it with Fadan. This question is, it's too vulgar. Oh, vulgar. Are you okay? Now that you mention it, I've actually noticed that you've not sworn once this whole podcast and I've been swearing like a fucking shearer on hot day. Oh, I swear all the time. It must be just the environment. Okay, do you want to say your favourite swear word?

Fuck. Oh. It's got to be because I say the fuck it, I can afford it. It just comes out all the time. I do cuss a little. That sounds great out of your mouth. Fuck. Yeah, I say it like and sometimes because when I talk to clients,

I'll have to refrain depending on the client. Yes. If they came from TikTok, they know that I swear. But sometimes when I talk to the other side, I'll be like, you're putting such a bitch face. You know, I'm like, calm the fuck down. Yes. Well, how do you feel?

Am I allowed to ask this question? Shira is trying to veto it. No, I'm not trying to veto it. I just, I didn't realise you had such a potty mouth. So yeah, no, ask away. Fuck it. Yeah, go on. So we do this thing with every guest where we ask them to contribute

to our list of things better than drugs and dick. The reason we do that, I wish our audience could see our face when I said that. The reason we do that, it's not as putrid as it sounds. It's because we don't want our young listeners who might be in a phase in life where they're becoming a bit obsessed with partying and boys and what have you. We don't want them to believe that that's all there is to life. There's little things you can appreciate, like the crunch of a good autumn leaf under your shoes. Yeah. Shit like that.

I'll find some examples, actually. She's just stunned in silence. Oh, is it time for me? I thought I was waiting for you to finish. No, you can say whatever you want. I'm finding some examples. Okay, well, I've got ideas. Oh, good.

Okay, great. I told you you should be on board. All right, these are the ideas. Wait, quickly. Did you have a period in your youth of the drugs and the dick and you were a naughty girl? Oh, that's more inappropriate than what I asked. It was. Well, if you've read my book, you'd

know. Oh. I did send you a copy of my book. A signed copy? Yes. I have the book. Did you read the book? I know it's long. I did not read the full thing, no. I'm sorry, I apologise. But I thought it was fiction. No, this is the real life for darn dating story. Get out. From when I had

51 first dates and also the second dates, the third dates, et cetera. It talks about my whole sex life, everything. Even when I knew this, Turian, I wasn't sent a fucking sign book. 31 to 33, I think the years are. So they were your naughty years, 31 to 33. Well, they were when it was documented. In my 20s, I was more party.

But 30s was like, you know, we're on a husband hunt here. So 20s was, you know, when I was in my 20s, I was broke as fuck. Even though I was a lawyer, struggling. And when you're a uni student, like early 20s, really, really poor. That's where the green bags come in handy, right? Yeah, yeah. It's really like, see, it makes you sexier. And also there is something about a law boy.

Like they're hot. In your uni days, were there some hot uni, cute uni boys? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. So some examples of things better than drugs and dick that our other guests have given us. Yep.

Chalk-coated sultanas, according to Tim Abbott. When you haven't started the chalk top before the movie, Ruben Kay said that one. Rhys Nicholson said weighted anxiety blankets. Angela Bishop said a waterbed. Yep. Lara Jean Marshall from the Saddle Club said, oozing lava cakes are better than drugs and dick.

And you can quote her on that. Yeah, she's always said that. What have you got for us? A little pleasure in life for Darn? Okay, this is a little out there. Green crunchy plums with salt. That is out there. There's a lot to take in.

Green plums, that's a thing? Yeah, when they're not ripe. Oh, that'll give you a tummy ache. No, everyone says that, man, no. Really? So I'm just popping it on the list. I could have those. It's only very, very niche before they get ripe,

so it might happen for maybe four weeks a year. I think I prefer dick than green crunchy plums with salt. No, green crunchy plums, I'm telling you. And with salt. With salt, oh, my God, yes. That's that trend online. Everyone's eating the raw almonds with salt. Have you seen that?

Yeah, and I went to the fruit shop and asked, not in season. Really? But I'm waiting. That'd be bitter, wouldn't it? I'm sure. I hear that crunch and, jeez, I just want to try it. It's so good, I'm with you. Have you seen that? Yeah, and I went to the fruit shop and asked. Not in season. Really? But I'm waiting. That'd be bitter, wouldn't it? I'm not sure. I hear that crunch and jeez, I just want to try it. It's so good. I'm with you.

It's so satisfying. Do you want to add Greek yogurt to that as well or nah? Not with the plums, no. The Greek yogurt doesn't make everything better. No, but I've never tried it. Like it might make it better. Try everything once. I wouldn't think to put salt with the plums.

So hey, can't hurt to experiment. Green crunchy apple with salt also works. Yeah. Granny Smith apple with salt. Oh, I could fuck with that put salt with the plum. So, hey, can't hurt to experiment. Green crunchy apple with salt also works. Yeah. Granny Smith apple with salt. Oh, I could fuck with that, actually. That sounds amazing. Haven't you had a green apple martini when it's got a bit of a green apple or a margarita? It goes with it.

Yeah, it's really good. I don't like martinis in general because of the salt. Oh, really? Yeah. I adore salt, make no mistake, but not on a drink. My favourite drink, I feel like you can connect on this, Fadan, is a really, really dirty gin martini. Yeah, I don't mind it. Define dirty.

Like it's olive brine, three olives, a good shot of olive brine, just gin, vermouth, that's it, cold. I can still only afford goons. Yeah, all right. Well, fuck it, I can afford it. That's good, Fadan. All right, more, more, more, more. This is good.

What else do you have? Well, I was going to say something boring like coffee. Oh, boring. Yeah, that is boring. No, that is better than drugs and dicks. No, it's more. This is good. What else do you have? Well, I was going to say something boring like coffee. Oh, boring. Yeah, that is boring. No, that is better than drugs and dick. No, it's not. It's the most addicted to drug I've had in my whole life. I'm still hooked on coffee.

True. Okay. Hot shower? Yeah, that's good. A burning hot shower. Are you a bath girl? No, never. Why not?

And I have lots of bath paraphernalia, but I don't really. Send them my way, darling. And because I bath the kids, it's like a chore, man. Oh, I see. I do love a bath. Minenalia, but I don't really. Send them my way, darling. And because I bath the kids, it's like a chore, man. Oh, I see. I do love a bath. Mine's not quite big enough for me. And I'm not a large person. No.

Yeah, it's very uncomfy. Yeah, I don't really fit in baths. Have you ever tried to have sex in a bath? No. Horrific. Yeah, it's really hard. It needs to be big. It's really hard.

It's hard and it's big. And it's difficult. It's hard and it's big. I mean, sign me up. No, yeah, not really. Send me those photos. The bath needs to be big enough. it's difficult. Hard and it's big. Sign me up. Send me those photos. The bath needs to be big enough. There's a water problem.

You think water. Shower, sex, bath. Yeah, it sounds hot. It sounds like it's going to work. But it doesn't. It almost does the opposite, doesn't it? It doesn't sound like it's going to work at all. Well, I like the idea of it because you see it on like the romanticising on TV, the bubble bath and you're getting in the bath together.

It sounds kind of hot and sexy, but then when you're in the bath together, it's kind of awkward. Yeah, it does mix it completely. All right, well, Fadan, that was an absolute pleasure having you. Oh, thank you. It's been so much fun. I can't believe we took your podcast virginity. Yes, we did.

I'll always remember this moment. I hope you do. Were we gentle? Was it okay? You enjoyed it? Yeah, yeah, it was perfect. You'll remember it? Yay, I'm glad. Well, you look gorgeous. Thank you. We had people going, oh, Fadan. I don't know. Were we gentle? Was it okay? You enjoyed it? Yeah, yeah. It was perfect. You remember it? Yay! I'm glad. Well, you look gorgeous. Thank you. We had people

going, oh, Fadan. I don't know, Fadan, Fadan. I'm so glad we had you on. I really am. Who was saying that? Those bitches! Did you not see the Reddit thread about this? I don't read Reddit. Not good for my mental health. I agree. She's like, I don't read Reddit anymore. No, I don't. I don't read it. No, sometimes people in the comments

send me to Reddit and I'm like out of curiosity I'd go and look and think those bitches. So I don't now. Let them. Someone sent me a screenshot and they said Fadan's appearing on a podcast.

I went, what podcast? They went, is it just me? By all appearances it looks very loose. Yeah, they did. So while we're at it, hi Reddit. Hi Reddit.

Hi Reddit. Hi Fadan. What are your fans called? Well, the fans are Fadan Talk fans but the trolls are the trolls. Oh yeah, yeah, no. Yeah, theyadan. What are your fans called? Well, the fans are Fadan Talk fans, but the trolls are the trolls. Yeah, no. They're always listening. We call our listeners idiots. Isn't that beautiful?

Oh, charming. Say hi to the idiots. Hi, Reddit idiot. Yeah, those in the basement who have never been kissed. Yes, yeah, that's it. Oh, they'll hate you now. They'll come for you. Yeah, it's all right.

She doesn't seem to care about that shit. You're very no bullshit. That's what I like. Because they're in the basement or they're the troll, the faceless, nameless person where I'm me with my fabulous life. They've been taught. What are they going to do? It doesn't faze me.

To be someone who's successful, you're going to have the jealous people, the haters. They're not going to be happy for your success. Never. That's all right. Don't be happy for me. That's fine. I'm not happy for you. I don't know you.

I don't care about you. Good luck. If it brings you joy, go ahead. She lives to cut another cucumber for another day. I do. With a paring knife and a thumb and a platter. It's Fadan. Thanks for coming on the show.

Thank you so much. I've had so much fun. Thanks for coming. Great. And we'll catch you back on Monday, idiots. Thanks for listening. Yes, we will. See you, Mitchell.

Five-star review, of course. Yeah, five stars. Leave us a review. You can DM us. You can get in touch. And we will see you very soon. Ta-ra. Bye. See ya.

Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief, our secret segment on the end. Our gorgeous guest, Fadana, has left the building. I don't know about you. I got the impression that she is not a listener. And so our secret segment, we keep it secret from them as well. Yeah.

If the guest is here and they do know about the secret segment, they're more than welcome to join. She wasn't aware. Sorry, Fadana, if you're listening, you didn't know about the secret segment. Let's keep the pause extra long so that she turns off. No, I've got nothing bad to say about her. She was a sweetheart. I didn't ask. No, I know, but, you say about her. She was a sweetheart. I didn't ask.

No, I know. But, you know, often sometimes you have a guest on and we go, oh, that was weird, that was awkward. She was genuinely very sweet. I couldn't believe it was her first podcast. You wouldn't have picked her. No, she was very natural, comfortable. She was kind of saying that the TV she did she didn't love.

So I think she was more excited to have more time. Well, it's a very, yeah, it's a very different environment. Like talking on a TV show. It has to be tight. Whereas here, we could fucking go a day if we wanted. What did you think? Did you like the chat? I did, of course.

Yeah. I found it interesting, the whole fuck it, I can afford it thing. Yeah, well, there's controversy around that, isn't there? People think it's a bit insensitive. Well, that's what she said. Yeah, that's what I asked her, and she said, yes, people do. It says more about me. I think maybe I'm more of an overthinker, because when said, well, I work hard and so I've earned it.

I can brag about, fuck it, I can afford it. And I'm like, yeah, true. But I reckon if that was me, I would think, oof, does that imply that other people don't work hard? Well, I mean, yeah. I don't know if I could say that. Am I overthinking it? No, what comes from a place of privilege to say I work hard

and I make a lot of money? Because I feel like a lot of people work hard, but they're still fucking struggling to make ends meet. There's enough bills and expenses on the table. That's what I was going to say I work hard and I make a lot of money. Because I feel like a lot of people work hard, but they're still fucking struggling to make ends meet. There's enough bills and expenses on the table. That's what I was going to say. A lot of people work just as hard, harder, you could say, and they get less. So that's where the issues come from.

But I don't think that's what she was- But no, good for her. She just embraces it. Yeah, no, she's studied. She wanted to be a lawyer. She's become a lawyer. She makes her money. Power to her.

Apparently she owns the law firm. I didn't get to ask her. How the fuck did she manage to come to this recording today? I don't know. I want it. Well, she owns it. She can do what she wants. She's big boss. I wanted to ask about the sex and I really wanted to know how many law boys she'd slept with at university. That's inappropriate. It is inappropriate. So I didn't ask. I read the room. Well, anyway, it finally fucking happened. Yeah. You know, I've had so many guests that I've wanted to get on, but I haven't done it because you said our first guest of the year will be for done. Oh really? Fuck I did, didn't I?

Again, that's probably me overthinking it. I could have just stuck someone else at the front of the queue. Yeah, you could have. Who do you have lined up? Who do you want? Oh, so many people. I'd love to get Kate Langbrook again. Yes. She's got a new podcast out. She has. Kate will come on in a heartbeat. I was texting her and she loves my bitches, my Betty. You're her Betty.

I'm making it happen. I'm chatting to a producer on email and I'm actually back and forth. Yeah. Well, mostly my end. I'm going to have to bump her actually. These producers just don't fucking reply. They've got enough on their platter. I get it.

Yeah. You know, for Darn. Did you appreciate that when I said, haven't you got enough on your platter? Yeah, I laughed. I don't think she got it. I only booked for Darn in the end because I bumped the message on TikTok. Yeah, yeah. I emailed her three times.

Nothing. Actually, yeah, no reply on email. And TikTok, instant replies. Yeah, well, I'm just going to have to bump Kate's producer. But it'll happen. We love her. Our favourite guest. I also would love to get Emra Siano.

She's been doing the rounds for her show. I might have left it a bit late. Yeah, she'll come on. Jessica Rowe. Yeah, Jessica Rowe. She's already told you she'd come on, didn't left it a bit late. Yeah, she'll come on. Jessica Rowe. Yeah, Jessica Rowe. She's already told you she'd come on, didn't she? Yeah, Jess has told me she's come on. I called her the other night though live on the radio just to talk to her

and she didn't answer so I'm worried. I've earned my bridge there. Because of one missed call. I don't know who else we can get on. I don't know. I think a lot of our idiots hate the guest episodes. That's the hunch I get. Oh, I think – remember we did our bloody Survey Monkey

and they just said not as frequent. Yeah. It's not that they don't like them because then we've gone all this time, all year without a guest and people are like, I miss the guest episode. So it's hard to please everyone. Yeah, no, it is. Well, listen, whether or not you liked Fadan, listen.

It's when we do them back to back, like too many guest episodes at once. Yeah. It's a good balance every so often. I argue that we've hit the nail on the head with the balance of the guest because they used to do the whole episode with us, full co-host. Now we just give you half an episode with a guest and then they sometimes, most of the time, don't even stick around for ADD brief. That's right. Well, I liked it. I think Fadan was great. She looked good. Good guest. Part of the Australian culture. She's Australia's mother. She was also vlogging the whole thing. So if you go on her TikTokok it's fadan underscore talk right yes it is

yeah she i again i wish i had that confidence to just she didn't give us any warning she just start vlogging no she's like oh fuck okay she was also in front of us she went i'm feeling a little nervous you've got this for done you've got this i'm like we're in the room yeah god lover you do yes so if you go to a tiktok you'll probably find the vlog of her in the studio here with us i did bring up the reddit with her but I didn't go into the detail, but all that Reddit thread about her coming on this podcast. Yeah, because I thought I'd do a bit of due diligence. I can't say this.

Due diligence. I got there. Due diligence. Due. Due diligence. Not due. See, it's hard. Due diligence.

It is hard. Due diligence. As in like. Due diligence. Oh, fuck. Due diligence. Oh, God. As in like with all due respect. I'm not saying J-E-W. Yeah, no, I know. Due diligence. As in like – Due diligence. Due. Oh, fuck. Due diligence. Oh, God. As in like with all due respect.

I'm not saying J-E-W. Yeah, no, I know. Due diligence. Yeah. I thought I'd do my – Oh, fuck. Do Jill and all. I'd do my Jake Jill and all.

I thought I'd do my due Jillaroo. And I just didn't – I was like, oh, I'll do a bit of research before she comes on. That's the right thing to do. Research your guest. And what came up was a Reddit thread about her being on this podcast. And people were saying, oh, God, that podcast is very loose. I don't know if she's going to cope because her TV appearances

appear very scripted. I don't know if she does off-the-cuff stuff. Well, she coped just fine. Yeah, she did. She was fine. She was fine. So that's good. Yeah, I agree.

Well, apart from Fadan, no guests on the horizon. It's just us. I'm working away in the background. Yeah. I prefer it just being us. Oh, you don't want any of these people I've just mentioned? No, I do, but I don't know. I feel like I've got to be more on when there's guests around.

When it's just us, it's just us. Just old friends hanging out. Do you know what was funny? Idiots. Mitch was telling me off the cloud that, you know how someone wrote in the idiots group chat, our community chat on Facebook, someone wrote, is it just me or does Cheery seem disinterested? Yeah. Even, who was it?

Laura, your co-host. Didn't she accuse you of being disinterested? No, she watched a video and she was like, you look exhausted. You were not even listening to him. And I was like, he chose a clip from the very end of the podcast. No, it was at the start. Was it the public transport one? Yeah.

Didn't she say, Keynes was giving you good gear there? Yeah, she said no. She just said you weren't. No, she thought my laugh was fake. Which to be fair, my real laugh and my fake laugh are exactly the same. I was going to say, I can tell. That wasn't fake. That was just your, I'm not that amused laugh.

No, I was amused. I just didn't have anything. We can keep going now if you want. I've got to get guests more often so that you're on. Okay, instead of mind the gap, let's do it now. I already said, there's a crack. There's a crack. So this is us dumbing down public transport announcements, right?

Yeah. The next train to arrive on platform three goes to Hornsby via Gordon. Gronkify that. I can't. See, it's not my thing. It's not on your blood to be a Gronk. No, that's not my brand. Gronk's very your brand.

Well, what is your brand is just casually introducing smut into a perfectly pleasant conversation. We'll be talking about fucking sunshine and daisies and then you'll be like, oh, rimming holes. I don't do that. So visceral. So maybe you make trains visceral. I don't do that. So visceral. So maybe you make trains visceral. I don't do that. Well, I mean, the carriages and the coming inside and outside of tunnels.

Mind my gap. I don't have anything. That's why it didn't work the first time. It just doesn't work in my brain. Anything. Tap on. Hit it. I bet you'd like to tap on.

Hit it. I don't have anything. Tap on's already not formal. Tap on's Hit it. I don't have anything. Tap-ons are already not formal. Tap-ons are very casual. Because you don't catch public transport. I do not catch public transport. I did on the TayTay Express. That's all I've ever seen.

Or aeroplanes. What's aeroplane lingo? Maybe there's more aeroplane lingo. I tried to take it to an area that you might be familiar with and you couldn't come up with shit for that either. What about ferries? You were defending the airlines. Remember?

I said, oh, they need to dumb down the language on planes. Like, who uses the word stow? And you're like, no, I like it. I do like it. I think it's fancy and it keeps things highfalutin and it makes life interesting. Highfalutin, when you've just had the most revolting chicken fucking sandwich known to man on your jet star flight

and it costs $18 that sandwich too because they don't do complimentary snacks, do they? No, they don't. You've got to pay with your physical card. Oh, my God. Can't use air pay. Can I tell you the most – I was going to say guttering. That's not right.

Gutting thing. The most devastating thing happened. So you know how I'm going straight from my Bali holiday, flying into Darwin to do my comedy shows in Darwin. Get your tickets now, idiots. Thank you. Yes, yes. So I'd already booked the flight from Bali to Sydney.

Tried to cancel it. Can't even get bloody flight credits or anything. Who are you flying with? Batak Air or something. Oh, that's probably a problem. It was literally the only flight from Bali to Sydney that day. Are you kidding? The only one.

It was a fucking red eye. And so now I've paid for it and I can't get the money back. that day you're kidding the only one it was a fucking red eye and so now i've paid for it and i can't get the money back you're kidding did you get and in this cost of living crisis which i'm so conscious of that's fucked fuck it i can't afford it do you have a private um travel insurance no oh see i don't really travel enough to warrant that the one holiday i book and it's already gone tits up. No, but you should get travel insurance for every trip. It's 150 bucks, 200 bucks. Oh, right. But that's not like for life.

I've done that before. Yeah, but if you do it, you can get it to cover cancellations. Fuck, I should have done that. Oh, Mitchell. So what, you're going to- Wait, so can I get travel insurance now and then try cancel it? I don't want to say it on the public record. Perhaps.

I love a bit of insurance fraud. Perhaps you do. Is it just me on the phone? Fuck it, Fadan public record. Perhaps. I love a bit of insurance fraud. Perhaps you do. Is it just me on the phone? Get Fadan back in here. We need a lawyer. I think you could. I've gotten travel insurance before and thank God I did because I arrived in Vegas and I was sick as a dog.

They had to put me in hospital on a drip. Were you in hospital? Yeah. What was wrong with you? I just woke up like so achy and faint and awful vomiting. Like it was the weirdest bug ever and they just chucked me in the hospital for um not even overnight it was only like i basically woke up first thing in the morning i was crook the night before and i was like if i still feel this way

i'll go to the hospital just down the road and um i felt worse so i wandered in at like 9 a.m and i was back in my hotel by two they just popped me on a drip and I was good. And I don't know if you know this but healthcare in America is not fucking cheap so thank God I had the insurance. They covered it. Otherwise it would have been a fortune. So did you pay there or they bill you after the new pay? I can't remember actually.

Wow. But basically I didn't have to pay for it. It would have been a lot. Fuck, you hear these horror stories and then you think it's not going to happen to me, then it happens to you. Just get the fucking cheap travel insurance. Just do it. Yeah, well I'm going to, oh my god, I'm going to Vegas. And Gaga's on. First time? No, I've been to Vegas before. Of course you have. But I haven't been to Vegas.

That's really insensitive in a cost of living crisis. I'd love to go to Vegas twice. I've got to tread very lightly. I'm going to Vegas for two fucking nights in a month. Honestly, that's probably all you need. Yeah, it's not for me. You know, I hate clubbing. It's my least favourite thing to do. Because I don't like travelling around heaps. So when I got to Vegas, I was like, I'll do four or five nights. By the third one, I was like – Too much. Yeah.

So I went to the Grand Canyon for a day trip. I'm going to the Grand Canyon. Did you like the Grand Canyon? There's nothing wrong with it, I suppose. You weren't amazed by it? It's a wonder of the world. It is. I wonder why people put such importance on it.

It wasn't that impressive. Really? Yeah. And honestly, this makes me sound really precious. Cost of living, sorry. But I caught the bus there from Vegas and it was fucking freezing. So I jumped off the bus, got my photo in front of the huge hole. And then I was like, that's enough.

I'm getting back on the bus. Really? Yeah. I was probably only there looking at the canyon for 10 minutes but I didn't bother with any of the bloody you know you can walk down there and pay for tours and shit I just went I've seen it see ya how much how long was the ride from Vegas to the Grand Canyon it's hours isn't it I remember I was only like it wasn't super far I was probably only an hour or two oh my god I could be wrong yeah well that's what I'm doing but we're doing a road trip we We're driving from Colorado all the way back to LA through all the different stops.

Yeah, it'll be very fun. Yeah. But Gaga's doing her, it's not a ball. The jazz and piano? Yeah. Have you seen that? No, which is why I'm jealous because I wanted to see. She did two residencies when I was there.

There was Enigma, which is just the standard pop show, and then the jazz and piano version. I wanted to see both, but she was only doing the pop version at the time. Okay, so I could see the jazz. So if you get to see jazz and piano. Would I, should I go? Yes. Is that even a question? I know.

Is Shania Twain doing her residency there? Should I check? I will kill you if you see Shania Twain's residency before me. Doesn't she have stiff person? Huh? She has stiff person. Stiff person? Doesn't she have stiff person syndrome?

What's that? She's not well. Remember she came out, she came out and said to her family like she's dying. She'll be dead soon. Doesn't she have stiff person syndrome? What's that? She's not well. Remember she came out and said to her family, like, she's dying. She'll be dead soon. Isn't that Celine Dion? Yes. I get them very confused.

To me, they're the same person. So who am I searching? Shania Twain. Shania. They are the same person. They are not at all. Yes, they are. No, they're not.

Oh, here we go. Literally, Celine Dion is, Every night in my dreams, they're not. Oh, here we go. Literally, Celine Dion is, If we're not in my dreams, I'll see you. And Shania Twain is, Let's go, girls. Fuck, she's taking her break the week I get there. Okay, that's good because I would have killed you. I need to stop making death threats.

We just had a lawyer in here. Who else is in Vegas? I don't know. You can research that in your own time. David Copperfield. I think they might have just had a lawyer in here. Who else is in Vegas? I don't know. You can research that in your own time. David Copperfield. No, I know. I think they might have

just finished Katy Perry's play. That would have been amazing. Oh, really? What? Weekends with Adele. Oh my God. Fuck yourself in the face. I was going to say

kill to see that. What is with me today? That's very Mitch Turian. I would pay hard-earned money to see that. May, June. June? When are you going?

Oh, my God. Caesar's Palace. Is it on when you're there? No, she's in. Fuck, she's in fucking Munchen. She's in Germany. Adele is. Deutschland, yeah.

Oh, that's weird. Oh, that's really upset me. The last date is June 15. I'm there from the 21st. Oh, fuck that. That's so annoying. That's literally by a week. I feel like you've chosen, can you reshuffle when you're going to Vegas?

Because it sounds like they're winding down by that point. You know the radio dates. I only get off when the radio's in non-survey period. So I get two weeks and two weeks only. But I'm very excited for my first trip in ages, international trip. It actually has worked out not well because I've got my two and a half weeks holiday. And then when I come back, you will have started your holiday. So we have almost like a month off the podcast.

You want to take a month off, do you think? What option do we have? We could do, I could do two fill-in episodes. You could do two in host. Fucking hell. I'd love to see it. You could do two fill-in host episodes. I could do two fill-in host episodes.

But we do two episodes a week now, so it's four. Why don't we just go on a break? Yeah. If I get bored waiting for you to come back, I'll do a pop-up episode with the random. But other than that. What if I get bored? Well, you can do that.

That's fine. Okay. I'd love to see it. I could do it. Don't know how to upload it. Don't get bored. We're going to take a break. We have to say we're taking a break.

We'll see. Okay. Well, anyway, are we done here? Yeah, I'm done. Let's go. All right. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today. That's all.

So we do. So we do. All right, idiots. Thanks for listening, idiots. See you very soon. Catch you back on Monday. All right. Goodbye.

Love you all. Bye, bub. See ya. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of meaches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.