Is It Just Me? - #223: PEEL

Episode Date: August 4, 2024

In this episode: Churi’s crap speech at Coombs’ birthday dinner (06:48) Someone ‘paid it forward’ for Churi (21:04) We’re sluts for a PEEL Essay (28:13) Shower curtains ain’t it (30:53) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (37:03)   Check out our merch shop! coupleofmitches.com.au 🛍️   Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitches Send us a text: 0422 948 202See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you! Hello you! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. You know I saw Ada Nicodemo in Westfield the other day? When? It was Thursday.

No, when did I ask? Oh, fuck off! Now here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coombs. Hello you! Hello you! You 28 year old, no more mention of the birthday. Now, here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, you. Hello, you. You're 28-year-old, no more mention of the birthday. Um, funny you mention that. I don't want to keep dragging out the birthday fortnight now.

But we do need to talk about what happened at my birthday dinner at some stage. This is three fucking weeks of birthday chat. No, four episodes in total. Turn 28, you give me none. My breakup got one episode. We could have looked at that for a month. As if that's true. It did.

It came up a lot in the months that followed. Oh, so now you're shaming me for being emotionally distraught. Yeah, that's precisely what I was doing. Yeah. Okay, this will be the last mention of your birthday. If anyone mentions birth or fucking days, I'm going to blow my load. Oh, sorry. Well, how am I going to say coming up on Wednesday's episode

if I can't say day? Coming up on wind. Coming up on wetness. Coming up in a couple. Oh, fuck. No, that's days. It's hard, isn't it? Talk hours.

Talking hours. In 72 hours. Sound like a military podcast. Have you ever, is it just me on the fly? Or I know, you know how when people talk in, it's called something, not phonetic, but the alphabet, like Alpha Bravo Charlie means ABC. What's the word for that?

It's called Pricekeeper Genesis. No doubt you'll be able to Google or know. No, I don't know the name, but I know what you're talking about. The alphabet, when they say T for tango. Yes, yes. While we Google. They do it over the phone to sound clearer. Correct.

Is it just me on the fly? Are you confident with probably A through E and then anything else is just women's names? Yeah, I don't know any of the actual words you meant to say. Yeah, I'm always like, oh, A for Alpha, B for Bravo and then F for Fiona. Phonetic. Phonetic. Yes. Phonetic.

Anyway, I only know the first few. D for Delta. Yes. And then K for Kell few. D for Delta. Yes. And then K for Kellogg's Crunchy Nut. Yes. I remember once trying to read out my license plate over the phone, and I was trying to do that thing, but I don't know what they're actually meant to be,

the phonetic words, D for Delta, whatever. And the only words that sprung to mind were dirty words, because I've got quite the filthy number plate when you think about it. What is your number plate? Well, I've shuffled it so that no one can find out my red joke. I've just shuffled it and changed the numbers. But TCV22D. So I'm sitting there on the phone going,

Tick, badge, 22, dick. And they're like, I beg your pardon. Well, didn't want you to get confused, did I? I'm getting an MRI next week, just my yearly checkup for my Chiari malformation, my brain condition. And I get an MRI every year. And my GP gives clinical notes, which is written in just the middle of the MRI. In doctor's handwriting. Correct.

Yes, it is actually. He's eligible, though. Legible. Legible. Eligible? Jesus Christ. You can read it. Need that MRI.

Quick, stat. And the lady called and she's like, can you read the clinical notes for me? And it's just so demoralizing. I'm like, yes. Headaches and dizziness. After running. Sometimes sore head. Slight swelling.

Yes. Slight swelling of cranium and testicles. I'm like, why did you write that? Mildly obese. I'm like, what? I've just lost weight. I remember one time reading, you know how if you want to go to the therapist and you want to get the mental health care plan thing from the GP so it's cheaper?

A lot of fucking admin. I remember reading the letters that my GP and therapist were writing back and forth. I don't know if I meant to read it. Oh, no. But at some point in the letter, it said, Mitchell is presenting body image issues. And I was like, I've not mentioned anything about body image. That's so funny. This bitch took one look at me and goes, he can't be happy with that.

And wrote to my GP saying, yeah, he's presenting with body image issues. I was like, since when? Mitch has clearly got an eating disorder. I was so offended. I was like, fuck you, now I've got body image issues. I love reading those letters. Read them. Oh, always. Jenna is beyond help. Yeah, pretty much. I love reading those letters. Do you read them? Oh, always.

Jenna is beyond help. Yeah, pretty much. Just one line. Oh, we're all fucked. That's what I took from this. Okay, so we're talking about your birthday. Yeah, that's my itch, Jim. I'll save it.

Okay. Specifically, mine is about your speech at my birthday dinner. Oh. Oh, yeah. I'm very proud of myself. I think I did very well under the pressure of the impromptu speech. We'll see. We'll see.

Oh, you recorded it, didn't you? Yeah. I'm such a pro. And so were you, actually. I just handed you this bloody iPhone voice memo. Thank you. And you kept it 10 centimetres away so you didn't get the pops. I was like, God, what a pro.

What an absolute pro. I thought you two had organised it and I was like, oh. I thought of it as it was happening. One of your friends was like, we get it, you have a podcast. Oh, sorry, that was me. Good one. And she would say it again, actually. Yeah, you've always said that too.

I do. My idjim is about something that happened to me on the weekend that I thought was long gone. Like I thought we ended these things with the days of Ellen. It felt very Ellen DeGeneres. Oh, okay. And it happened to me, and I thought, I don't think this actually ever happened to real people. What do I associate Ellen with?

Scissoring. Butch haircuts. Some sort of in-ear challenge, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Really? Well, no, no one placed an in-ear module in my ear and said, go prank Oprah at a bookstore.

Go to Barnes & Noble and pretend your pants fell down. We should do one of those, actually. That'd be hilarious. I think that we're past that. I reckon Jenna, if we did an in-ear challenge with her, we'd put her in a scenario. She's got one ear put in. We're daring her what to say. She'd become so brazen in that moment because she knows that she can't be held responsible.

She wouldn't give a fuck if she's embarrassing herself. Would you do that? Yeah, because I know it's not me talking. Yeah. That in-ear technology is very expensive, though. Just an earpod, mate. It'll be right. No, because you don't want them to see. You want the tiny one they use in TV.

It's small. It's like an M&M. Or, ready, look. Look at me. I just pop an earpod in. Done. The hair shit. Bit of hair over.

Yeah, bit of hair. Jenna's always got a skin-tight ponytail, so you're going to have to let it flow. I can just pull a bit of it around. A slut strand. A slut string. I remember once I said you had slut strings and I got a message like, you were disgusting to Jenna today. Really?

Yes, I remember that. I don't even remember you saying that. He calls it as he sees it. Jenna looked like a slut that day. She did. She did. Anyway, if it's your first time listening, welcome to Is It Just Me? Every episode we start the same with an idiom,

something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's. Then be the rules of the show. I've already told you what mine's about, my birthday. Do you want me to rip the band-aid off and get this part over and done with? So no more birthday chat. Go for it.

It's like I was never born. Oh, no. That would be awful. Fuck you. I saw the eyes darting. He was like, awful. Fingers across under the desk. No, no, no.

Go. Hit us. All right. Cue me in, Bradley. Thanks. Is it just me or? Was Cheery's speech at my birthday dinner a load of bullshit? Wow, you really set me up there.

I thought, no, I did well. Give me a break. I did well. I did not stumble. I did not mumble. I had laughs. The crowd were going, like, okay. It was a pub, for God's sake.

Well, that's kind of the problem. What do you mean? So our listeners might remember last year for your birthday, I got put on the spot, asked to do a speech at your 28th. Who the fuck does speeches at a 28th? It's very cheery. My mum made one cried. My dad made one sobbed.

Yeah, and all these people are standing around starving. Just cut the bloody cake, for God's sake. Poor Carla from Bankstown standing there. Her arms are starting to shake from holding this heavy fucking cake. Yeah, that's true. Holding a four-tiered cake. And everyone's doing all these speeches. And Britt Hockley gets up there from the pickup.

And I'm like, oh. I was almost a little bit jealous. Like, why would they ask that co-host to give a speech? Yeah. But then I was like, oh, my God, I can see Mark and Michelle. They're talking amongst themselves, being like, oh, we should get Mitch. I catch their eyes. I'm like, no, no, no, don't.

Don't ask me to do a speech because I was put on the spot. Yeah. But I still managed to say some nice shit about you, I think. Your speech was lovely. We played it on the show last year. It was nice. We don't have to replay it because it's sad. I said something like, oh, he's very loyal and has a big heart, blah, blah, blah.

But then I was like, okay, let's fucking keep this short and sweet. There's cake to be ate. Of course. And then I did a speech. She did. Did you? Yeah. She said, blah, blah. But then I was like, okay, let's fucking keep this short and sweet. There's cake to be ate. Of course. And then I did a sweet. She did. She said, I love you. I did. I said, I love you very much.

That's sweet. Fingers crossed. Sorry, then from memory. Fingers crossed. Didn't I follow that by drinking a beer off a dildo? Yes. Yes. Something like that.

That was fun. Okay. And so I decided to put you on the spot much like you did to me. No warning. Just whipped out my phone, handed it to you and said, give us a speech, mate. Let's just take a listen, see how we went. Because I managed to pull some nice words out of my fucking ass crack when push came to shove at your birthday.

Let's hear what you said about me. Couldn't reach my ass crack because I was wearing a fucking trench coat like a dick because you set me up for failure. Go on, Let's listen. Now, because I was thrown under the bus at someone's 28th and forced to give a speech on the spot, I'm returning the same treatment.

You're up. Hello, everyone. How we doing? Hands out. Who wants a clit? Who wants a duck? So you're actually mocking me at this point? That's a reference to his show Thank you all for being here

He's doing well Mitchell's nearest and dearest to here Don't put words in our mouth I think, why don't we all just On the count of three Scream out how much we love Mitchell On the count of three scream out how much we love Mitchell on the count of three. No, and

how loud this room gets is how much love there is for Mitchell. So this will be a nice way to test on three the volume of this room. Just doing a radio announce, you set it up twice. Because people didn't hear the first time. Is the amount

of love for Mitchell Coombsombs one two three can i just say that was one person that was one person the straight man was the loudest thank you for being here mitchell we love you well said cheers to mitchell everyone happy birthday mitchell Cheers to Mitchell, everyone. Happy birthday, Mitchell. That was it. I don't see anything wrong with that. Well said.

I think I probably shouldn't have complimented myself at the end. Yeah. Well spoken. Thanks, mate. So did you notice any point in that speech, any nice things said about me? You were just doing crowd work. Okay, you make a good point. I didn't really speak to your strengths.

No. And there was a little mocking of the star. Yeah. Well, reference, I'd say, to the water off a duck's cliff. And also you said the amount of noise made in this moment will tell how much love there is for Mitchell. And frankly, there wasn't much fucking noise, was there? There was none.

That was hurtful. I think no. Well, Jenny, you were in the room. Yeah. You can speak to the love that was in my face. Yeah. Everyone was just so embarrassed for you. Were you actually upset by it?

No, actually, I wasn't. But notes for next time. Say things about the person you're giving a speech for. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you do a take two right now? I was going to. You don't have to mention that you're in radio.

Yeah. No, no. You know why I said that? Because I realised that I'd said it up twice and I sounded like an idiot. And then I was like, I need to make a joke out of it. I was losing the room, you know, and you can sense it. I'm like, fuck, I need to, you know, talk about the blue cheek. Because once again, there was cake on the line.

There was cake. The candle was starting to drip. Wax. Shout out to Nick, our friend Nick, who made that gorgeous sponge. Stunning. Incredible. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. Okay, well, I'm happy to do a take two.

So welcome, everyone. I'll get up on stage. Thank you. Thank you all for being here. Calm down, calm down. God, that crazy applause sounds like I'm in a Mitchell Coombs show. Oh, much better. Thank you.

That's nice. Mitchell's been with me through the thick and the thin and the ups and the downs of my successful life and career. You are a genuine friend, one of my closest friends. I would actually say my closest friend. Hey. True. You do know more about me than I think anyone else.

I know a bit. I think we work together so intimately and closely, not only as friends, but as business partners. It is like a block situation where you're the Scott Cam and I'm the Shelley Craft. I turn up for just, like, a couple of episodes. And you're, like, doing a lot of the heavy work and sort of the face of the brand. And I'll turn up for, you know, fluff a pillow and make sure Darren Palmer's had his Botox. That's the dynamic.

But it works. It works. You're one of the funniest people I know. You're a loyal and fierce friend to the end. And truthfully, I know that if I ever needed advice or if I needed truth told to me, I'd come to you. Wow. So happy birthday, Mitchell. I do love you.

Thank you. That was much better, wasn't it? Wow. Get the applause sound effect back. Thank you. That was really nice. That was nice. Wow.

Wasn't that sweet? That was lovely. That was sweet from the heart. A bit offensive to me, but. Yeah. Well, it's not your birthday. That was nice. Wow. Wasn't that sweet? That was lovely. That was sweet from the heart. A bit offensive to me, but. Yeah. Well, it's not your birthday. Yours is January 8th, the day of the insurrection, which we all know you started. June 4th.

June 4th. June 5th. June 5th. Can we just paint a picture of the birthday dinner, by the way? Oh, yeah. I can add a fourth sense, which is stench, to that birthday dinner. Yeah. You start.

People who follow me and watch my videos, you might be familiar with the prawn pong that I had to deal with because at the local bolo, I'm reluctant to use their name because I'm about to besmirch the living fuck out of them. Don't do it. You reckon? They're clearly needing every dollar they make, so do not. So the reason that my friends and I love this bowling club

is because it's so tragic, so daggy. Let's just read some of their Google reviews, shall we? One star, I inquired about hosting an event at this venue. After I called to clarify the details, asked them to email me. The man on the phone said, what can an email tell you that I haven't? Just give me your card details, love. He's got a point. One star, no need to bark at customers.

One star, food need to bark at customers. One star. Food is dreadful. One star. Bad attitude. Rude staff. Should only go there if you're absolutely desperate. Even then, think again. So this place is horrible, but that's kind of part of the charm.

It reminds me of my regional upbringing. It's just a little bit gross, this place, and that's why we love it. That staff gaslit me hard. I ordered two schnitzels for me and Stephen and chips, and they came back with the schnitzels, and I went, oh, what about the chips? She went, you didn't order chips. And I said, you're right, I didn't.

I definitely did. Sean's had the same problem. He ordered, oh, can I have the schnitzel? Yeah. They just came up with just chicken. Yes. That's it. And he goes, oh, what about the salad, the chips?

They said, you said schnitzel. I know. That's how it happened to Oscar. I was so scared. You want the chips. They said, you said schnitzel. I'm going to say it happened to Oscar. I'm so scared. You want the lot. Sean's pausing to order lasagna and all the meat was on the top of it. It looked like a piece of mud cake. It came inside out, this lasagna.

It looked awful. And I think that was the special of the day. Yeah, but the worst part is we get there and you said we had a group chat for your birthday. You were late. I was late. No, I was 10, 15 minutes late. The meat raffle had already started. Yes, the meat raffle had.

And I wasn't buying tickets because of the prawn pong issue I've had. This night, my birthday dinner, they were doing the seafood raffle. Yeah. Normally, they've got gorgeous risoles and sausages, the breakfast tray with the bacon and eggs and shit. Yum. Beautiful. But this night, they were doing the seafood raffle again, and I said, Sean, don't even

think about it. I'm not having another issue where the prawns go off in a matter of days. And my fridge stinks beyond repair. I'm with you. So I'm like, we're not going near that. We're not even going to try and get the seafood. But everyone else on the table cleaned up, including you. So I was there.

I bid via the phone. I'm some sort of elite. Someone grab me tickets, please. I'm on my way. Yep. So one of our friends, Clay, bought me a ticket. And two people bought you tickets. Oh, so I had two entries. Yeah, two people I'm on my way. Yep. So one of our friends, Clay, bought me a ticket. And two people bought you tickets. Oh, so I had two entries.

Well, I cleaned up. Yeah, two people in the group chat didn't communicate. They both bought you tickets. Oh, was it Jordan? Yeah, Jordan. Someone $10. Anyway, I turn up and everyone goes, you've won. And I went, oh my God.

And I walk in, I go, where is it? And you've put it in the fridge. Yeah, they've got a fridge outside purely for the meat raffle winnings. That fridge has no other purpose. No, it's also not one of those pub fridges that has glass doors, double door. It's just a whirlpool that you see in someone's garage. It's a secondhand one. It's a marketplace find.

So I was happy knowing. Right next to the dirty fucking bain marie. Seriously. So I've got my prawns and lobster inside this fridge and I go, great. So I enjoy the night and we party on it. It's nice. And for the idiots wondering, he did turn up in the trench coat. I did wear a trench coat.

There is a photo on the socials now. You led me down the garden path because you said Sean will also wear a trench coat. So you'll be fine. Well, he always does wear trench coats and crisp attire. But for once he read the room and wore a flannel because that's more appropriate to this daggy fucking bowling club. I walked in, Jenny, you were there. And everyone looked at me, didn't they? You know how everyone's eating and you can hear cutlery,

then everyone sort of stops and looks? Yeah. And someone was like, is that Inspector Gadget? I looked like a dickhead in my coat. Everyone just stopped and said. I thought it looked nice. You did stick out like dog's balls, given the venue. But I think the coat objectively was nice.

It is nice. It's a nice coat. But anyway, you won the prawns and the lobster. Yeah. Then after the event, Mitch goes, do you want to come back to our house? So I said, sure. I went, what do I do with the prawns and the lobster. Yeah. Then after the event, Mitch goes, do you want to come back to our house? So I said, sure. I went, what do I do with the prawns? You can put them in our fridge.

Yeah. That's very nice. I did say, don't you dare forget them. I'm not having these things in my fridge again. Oh, my God. Stephen was so excited to eat them. He's like, we have to get the prawns and the lobster. I'm like, okay.

So we stay at yours for an hour or two. We do our thing. We leave, right? We go home. We put it straight in our fridge upstairs. We go to bed. So not a lot of exposure out of the fridge? None.

Absolutely none. You kept them cool. Yeah, it was a cold night too. So when I was traveling to and from the car in the fridge, it was cold. So the next day we go, hey, we've got nothing planned tonight. Let's go buy some pasta and we'll make a pasta sauce and we'll make lobster pasta. Nice. Beautiful.

It'll be gorgeous. We have the free lobster. So we do it. We chop it up. We add it to the sauce. we'll make lobster pasta. Nice. Beautiful. It'll be gorgeous. We have the free lobster. So we do it. We chop it up. We add it to the sauce. We make it. We enjoy it. We have a glass of wine.

We have a little kiss. Beautiful. Watch a movie. Night is sorted. What sort of wine? I need to picture this. It was a red wine. With seafood.

That's interesting. It didn't match. But dad in the business, whatever he has, we take. So we don't have to fucking pay. And I had a wine too. And we both had a wine. It was gorgeous. We cheesed.

We ate the pasta. We're sitting on the couch to fucking pay. And I had a wine too, and we both had a wine. It was gorgeous. We cheesed, we ate the pasta. We're sitting on the couch watching Scream, because Stephen had never seen it. And then he starts squirming, and I'm like, is everything all right? Oh, dear. And then he's like, oh, I feel fine. Did you feel all right? I'm like, yeah. He's like, oh, okay, all right.

I didn't want to say anything. I'm like, oh. Because he cooked the pasta. And then I start to get this punch in my gut. I'm like, oh, I've got some pains downstairs. He's like, oh, I didn't want to say anything, but so do I. Fuck. Oh, no. And then he's like, you go upstairs, I'll go downstairs. He went to the, oh, I've got some pains downstairs. He's like, oh, I don't want to say anything, but so do I. Fuck. Oh, no.

And then he's like, you go upstairs, I'll go downstairs. He went to the downstairs toilet, I went to the upstairs toilet. It was instant. You both had the runs that bad. That night, just straight out like water. No. I mean, what were you thinking? I know.

It's the bowling club's seafood raffle. Do you reckon that the butchers who provide this meat are getting rid of the good stuff? I know, it's stupid. That they could profit from? No, they're getting rid of the shit at the end of the day that's about to go off that they have no other plans for other than to throw out. I know. And it was also sitting on that table for a while.

That's exactly what I realised after. I put it in the fridge. No, before. Oh. Yes, because when I went to order my stuff about 20 minutes before, it was just sitting there and it looked hot. Because the guy that draws the numbers during the meat raffle, he's got them there on a table to come collect, and he does set that up like an hour before he starts calling the numbers.

And you saw it, Jenna? Yes. So they would have just been sitting there, yuck, inside with the heater on. As I left, Jenna went, enjoy the platter. It was very hot in there. Jenna knew the whole time. As I left, Jenna went, enjoy the platter. It was very hot in there. Jenna knew the whole time. Is it just me?

Listening on Spotify, don't forget to leave a five-star rating. Ho ho! Mate, you wait for episode 224 coming out on Wednesday because Jenna and I are going to blow your mind.

Blow. Absolutely blow. With what? What are you talking about? Your mind. Well, remember last week you gave us a little challenge. We've got to hustle. Oh, yes.

Correct. Somehow promote the podcast in an out-of-the-box way. Yes. I mean, which I've got issues with because Mitch said, have you done your hustle? And I thought, to be honest, I did hustle. That's why we're doing this. I don't have to re-hustle. No, that was an example. Well, I have re-hustle. No, that was an example.

Well, I have re-hustled, so I've double hustled. I mean, for those that didn't listen to Wednesday's episode last week, I still believe you didn't really hustle because you played us two bits of audio. One of them, a caller on your radio show said they loved the podcast. They brought it up. And then the second one, your co-host brought up that you have a podcast. So you weren't really going out of your way to bring it up. Someone else had to raise the subject that you have a podcast. Otherwise you weren't really going out of your way to bring it up. Someone else had to raise the subject that you have a podcast.

Otherwise, it would have gone unmentioned. I still let it air. I gave it the go-ahead to my team. I have Hustle too, don't worry. Also, you think your Hustle's better than mine? Yes. Well, I'm just saying that we've gone above and beyond and you're going to be so impressed. You gave us homework and we fucking nailed it.

A plus gold star. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But why have you teamed up? That wasn't the challenge. We've both done one each, but teamwork makes the dream work. You're in cahoots. Yes. Yeah.

Well, I did mine without Jenna, but Jenna needed a bit of help. Yeah. And I did another one as well. Oh, that's right. She did. We've been hustling our absolute clits off. You've got no idea. Well, I hustled as well.

And we'll play it to you on Wednesday. You did? You did your homework? I did. I did. I did. Yeah. No, I did.

You looked nervous. No, I did. I'm not nervous. I just haven't had many bites, but I did. It doesn't matter. It's about the effort, the intent. Oh, there was a lot of effort and a lot of intent. Great.

I almost got bashed doing it, but that's fine. We can talk about it. We can talk about it on Wednesday's episode, correct? Perfect. All right. Shall I do mine? Is it just me? Sure.

Let's go. Is it just me? Did you think pay it forwards were done? The phenomenon of pay it forward was done, like gone with the Ellen days. Remember when the whole pay it forward was a trend where you'd be to drive through and you'd go, you'd pay for your drink, you'd make cafe coffee and you'd go, you know what? I'm going to pay for the car behind me. Yeah, like a random act of kindness. Correct.

It was a massive thing in like 2012, 2013. Ellen was doing it always. I think the sentiment of random acts of kindness hasn't gone anywhere. That wasn't a trend, was it? No, no, no. Not the random act of kindness, but the act of paying it forward, where you pay for the person behind you and it would start a pay it forward chain. As a certified tight ass, I can't imagine you'd be getting amongst that very often.

No, and has it ever happened to you? Where I've had the opportunity to pay for someone's stuff? No, where someone's paid for your stuff. I don't think so. Has it happened to you, Jenna? No, never. Well, it fucking happened to me, and no one prepares you for how awkward it is. When someone pays for you?

Yeah, you think it's going to be sweet, and you're going to go, oh, thank you. Guys, it's awkward as fuck. Was it anonymous, or was the person there? So let me paint a picture for you. Okay. Stephen and I on the weekend go for a walk around the beach in Cronulla. And he goes, do you want to get a juice? I'm like, great.

Let's go to our juice place. We have this favorite juice place. They're big. They're like $8 each. The best. So we're walking together. That's a bit steep. Eight bucks for a juice.

Yeah, but we get turmeric and garlic. Ginger. Ginger. I was going to say garlic juice. No, thanks. Ginger for the immune system. That sounds lovely, actually. That would clear the sinuses, wouldn't it?

Delicious. And it's one of those grocers. So inside you've got like, you know, a green grocer. You can shop fresh veggies. Supporting local business. Yeah. It's nice. This place sounds nice.

And we know the staff out the front. There's two women. They're gorgeous. And they just, you stand at the front. You go, this is what I want. And they make the juice for you. So we're standing there and this man's in line. And he's very well dressed.

Quite handsome. Like probably in his 40s. Gay. Well, here's the thing. You know normally you can tell. I see where this is going. I thought to myself, oh, one of us maybe. I don't know. But maybe.

He's got good skin. He's kind of glowing. Yep. Whatever. So Stephen and I are there. He's ordering his drink. So Stephen and I are kind of just gossiping and then, I don't know, like laughing. And then, I don't know, maybe I like hold his hand or put my hand around his waist.

There's a sign of affection. Yeah. And I could tell that this guy was looking. And I thought, oh, God, Cronulla could go either way. Oh, you thought, oh, he's going to cave our skull in. Yeah. I mean, I love living in the area, but I have been. There's been some slurs thrown my way.

Yeah. Anyway. But he kind of looked nice. I'm like, oh, this is awkward. So I kept holding Stephen on the waist, whatever. He grabs his juice and then I was like next in line so he was first in line yeah yeah and he's with bright red beetroot and uh he was sort of stood there and i'm like oh this is awkward when's he gonna go because i need to get in an order so he keeps talking to the staff the staff then go hey boys

what can we get you so steven and i kind of yell over this guy we order and then uh she's like all right ready to pay $18. And Stephen goes, I'll get this one. And I'm like, no, no, let me get this one. You got dinner. I'll get it. He said, no, I'll get it. And Stephen goes, no, let me get it.

And I go, let me get it. And I get my phone, double tap the side button to Apple Pay. And then I hear, no, I'll get it. He swipes his phone in,ays for it without even missing a beat Pulls his hand away And then just stands there Like a kid that's just done a poo and wants their mum's attention Was like, I'll do it And I went, oh

Oh my god, oh I was shocked, I went, thank you Maybe he just couldn't stand the faffing about He's like, oh fuck me, someone just paid It wasn't that energy And then Stephen went, oh thanks And I went, thank you so much. He went, you're fine, boys.

I went, oh, let me, can I transfer you? He's like, nope. I'm like, oh, okay. And then you have to wait for the juice to be made. It's a juice. And then he's standing there. Then you just stand there. That is weird.

And he sips his juice and then I kind of stand and then I'm like, are you local? He's like, yeah, yeah, went for a swim this morning. And I went, oh, that's nice. Do you do this often? He went, anytime I see a gorgeous, cute couple, you two have warmed my heart. And I went, oh, that's so nice. That's pretty nice. Was I juicing the ginger?

So it wasn't seedy. It was cute. It was cute, but I did not know what to do with myself. Yeah, because then you have to stand there with them and you're like, now what? Would you like a protein ball, sir? Do you get an add-on or something? A hundred percent. I'm like, do you want something out of this?

Is he trying to get a threesome? I'm like, I'm going to save Stephen from him. It was really quite odd. And so this whole idea of pay it forward, does that mean that it's like a chain mail? You now have to do it to someone else? Here's the thing. That's what I thought. I'm like, great. Now You now have to do it to someone else? Here's the thing. That's what I thought. I'm like, great, now I've got to do it to the next person in line.

And there was someone in line. It's an old bat from Cronulla. Oh, she might be on the pension. Well, that's what I thought. Probably saved up for that fucking XE juice. Yeah, I thought, no, this is nice. Maybe she'll just get a cappuccino or like a protein ball. And so I turn around, grocery full.

She's got a trolley. It is full. And, you know, greengrocers love supporting small business. But if you're doing your shops there, you're doing all right. Like, it's expensive. Yes. So I left. But now I'm plagued.

I'm guilty. I don't feel any better. This man was nice, lingered for way too long. And it's just the most awkward thing in the world. Yeah, so once he got his juice, did he stick around? Yeah. Yeah, that's odd. Yeah, that's odd. Yeah, that's weird.

Do you think I should, just for the sake of nicety, pay it forward? Just do a pay it forward? Yeah, like next time you're at the drive-through, which could be in a matter of hours, who knows, you just say when you get to the second window to pay, be like, I'm going to shout the person behind me as well. But the risk is I've gotten 14 family boxes. Yeah.

Yeah, correct. But you're good for it. gotten 14 family boxes. Yeah. Yeah, correct. But you're good for it. You don't pay rent. You'll be right. I'm not worried about the money. I'm more worried about what I'm standing there with. I think part of you is. No, I'm not.

I'm worried about I couldn't care less. What do I do with my hands? What do you mean? What do you say? What do I say? Oh, time to pay for your coffee? Someone in front of me. All right, ready to pay.

I swoop in. No. I have just done that. Like, what? What do I say? No, you don't cause a scene because not to bag out this guy that did something nice for you, but sticking around to soak up the glory is a bit weird. I agree.

It's cuter if it's anonymous. Like the drive-thru, you just pay for the person behind you. You never speak to them again. You never see them again. But you know, deep down, you've made their day. But if you stand there waiting for them to get all gushy and thank you, it's like, no, no, that's a bit sick, isn't it? Yeah. All right, why don't I do it and I can record the audio on my phone?

Okay. And then I can come back with my pay it forward. Yeah, but you might have to pay cash or a physical card because I reckon the Apple Pay might interrupt the voice memo and then you won't have the recording. And if there's no proof, how do we ever know what happened? True, true. Yeah, you could be lying.

I'll have to go live on a couple of Mitch's accounts. That's the only option. That's enough of these two. Now let's hear and is it just you? Yes, it's your chance to be featured on the show now. If you are on with us, you will have glory for the rest of your life

clearly, but you will also get a limited edition tote bag. Yes. Pricekeeper Jenna will fix you up with something nice as a thank you for coming on. We do this every Is It Just Me Monday, so get thinking. Yeah. Something you've noticed, hate or appreciate. You can DM us at coupleofmitches on Instagram or send us a text on this number. 042-294-8202

042 2948 202 Send us a text You know, we also will just take a story. If you've got a story you want to tell us or you think something has happened to you that you know we love or a recommendation for the idiots, call us. We'll chat to you.

You know what I realised the other day? You know how you were talking about how you love video essays? Yeah. And I was like, essays are so boring. It sounds like shit. I realised that basically the whole structure of our idioms is an essay. Oh, yeah, it is. Because remember, in high school, the structure of an essay was peel, point, explain, example,

link. Oh, my God, yeah. So we make the statement, which is, Turi's speech was bullshit at my birthday. And then I explain, I show the example, and then I link back to the original statement. I'm like, I've been writing essays for 223 episodes now. So true. Take that, Mrs. Moon.

My English teacher said I was illiterate and dyslexic. So if you're listening right now and you've got a story, just form an essay around it with the point and the example and then link it back. There you go. All you need to do, idiots, is peel. Just peel. Just peel.

All right. Well, today we're going to Braxton, which sounds completely made up. We're going to chat to Ivy. Oh, I thought Braxton was the name of the person. No. Where the fuck's Braxton? Braxton's a place. I like the name Ivy.

Reminds me of the drip. Reminds me of poison. When I Google Braxton, because I want to see where they're from, it just brings up Braxton Hicks contractions. What is that? Isn't that when people think they're about to give birth, but they're not? It's a false alarm. Yeah.

Let's ask Braxton. Maybe that's where they're from. What was their name? Ivy from Braxton. Ivy, okay. Hello, Ivy speaking. Hi, Ivy. Hi, Ivy.

Mitch, Mitch and Jenna. Hello. We just want to clarify something, Ivy. Where do you live? Brankston. Brankston? Oh. Where's that?

Wait. Yeah. It's in the Hunter Valley, like Upper Hunter Wine Country. Oh, gorgeous spot. Yeah, it's really nice. We just moved there, actually. How close is the nearest winery? Oh, it'd be less than five minutes.

Wow. Oh, Ivy. Holy fuck. The dream. That's dangerous. Less than five minutes. Wow. Ivy, holy fuck. The dream. That's dangerous. Less than five minutes. I don't drink, though, because I breastfeed. Oh, but no.

I can't enjoy it. Apparently, if you drink a wine while breastfeeding, then it should pass through your system when you're due for your next feed. Oh, right. I've got a photo of my sister drinking wine with a kid on a tip. Really? Are you allowed to do that? Well that's how you do it so that the wine isn't in the milk next time

It's like a Brita filter A what? A Brita filter She just filters it out I'm selling a few if anyone's interested Alright Ivy, in Brankston Are you ready to hit us with something you've noticed you hate or appreciate? Yes, I am

Alright Bradley, you're counting you in. Go for it. Is it just me or? A shower curtain's just not it. Oh, 100%. They are the worst. I never know if they go inside or outside the tub. Well, like I said, I've just moved houses,

and I've never had a shower that's had a shower curtain before. So I took my first shower the other day at the new place. Is it one of those bath shower things where it's a bath but you have to stand up for the shower? I hate them. No, it's not. It's not got the bath, which I was actually disappointed about because I haven't had a bath in years. Oh, dear. Only showers.

But yeah, I was showering and the curtain is just so cold and it gets stuck to you. And no matter what I do, it keeps like sucking towards me when I'm just trying to keep warm in the shower. You know why that is? You end up huddled in the corner. No, I saw a TikTok about this. It's got something to do with the hot and the cold air because there's hot air from inside the shower, cold air on the outside and that pushes it in.

Like it genuinely makes it suck towards your body. Or even the curtain is freezing its tits off. It's like, let me get in on that. Darling, you've got room for two in this shower. They're just disgusting. Like I'm with you. What I hate is a shower curtain when you've got the bath section of the shower and you're standing in it.

I don't know whether to keep it in, like on the inside of the bath, so then the water doesn't go out, But then you kick it and you touch it. But if it's on the outside, the water just pours outside the shower. Exactly. So you're not meant to do that. But then you have got this thing gripping your leg if it's on the inside. But the water still gets out anyway. It does.

It's not waterproof. No, not at all. And that's the thing because I've got one of those hybrid bath shower things, which I don't mind. And it feels like it should have a shower curtain because I just get water fucking everywhere all over the bathroom floor. But then I thought, even if I had a shower curtain, I'd probably achieve the same result, fucking water everywhere.

So who gives a shit? Yeah. Literally. And I was signed a lease for 12 months. So I'm like, damn it. I've got to figure something else out. Oh, it's a rental. So you can't even like tamper with it.

Oh no. No. Fucking hell. Oh my God. Better than what so you can't even tamper with it. Oh, no. No. Fucking hell. Oh, my God. Better than what I had growing up was a glass sliding door in my shower, and it would be the worst. Yeah. I hated it so much.

And it would get stuck. Get stuck. This scar I've got on the bottom of my chin, see that scar? That's because I opened it on the blade and then slipped and fell, and it landed on the blade. Oh, no. Fuck me. Oh, my God.

I know. Ivy, another random question from me. This just shows that I'm getting so old because I'm really excited to hear your answer. How do you clean a shower curtain? I think you just replace it. Oh. I'd assume. I don't know.

That sounds so fiddly. Fuck that. You just burn it. Yeah. What would happen if you just took it off? Well, I just think more water would get everywhere. Yeah, that's true. The problem is that our vanity is really, really close to the shower

and it already has water damage from the previous person that lived there. Oh, fuck. So I don't want to get it more like water damaged and then have to replace a vanity. That's true. You won't get your bond back. Fuck rentals. Yeah, and then you'll have to go to tribunal like I did.

Yeah. Reach out to Jenna. She can help you there with litigation. Well, shit. Well, good timing. This is awful for you, but great timing because we're announcing we're extending the merch range to include Ijum shower curtains. So good and bad.

Oh, I'm so excited. You know, we'll send one out to you. Who wouldn't want the couple of Mitch's clinging to their legs when they're wet? Totally. Nothing I want more than my favorite podcast trio to be staring me down while I'm scrubbing up my arsehole. We'll send you a tote bag. That's all we've got.

Yeah. Just for transparency. You'll get a tote bag. Ivy, thanks for coming on today. Thanks, Ivy. No worries. Thanks for having me. Thanks, Ivy.

Anytime. Love ya. All right. Love ya. Bye. Bye. Love you. She didn't say it back to Jenna.

I love you, Jenna. No time. Sorry, Tunnel. See you, Tunnel. Bye, Tunnel. Yep, sorry. What a sweetheart. I did check and I was wrong.

She wrote Braxton. I just got rid of the N. At a glance, it looks like Braxton. I get it. It does. Braxton. Braxton, Braxton, whatever. All right, let's go.

That's the show done, everybody. Sure. We better get out of here, hey? We should. Coming up on Wednesday, we'll talk more about my birthday. Come on, let's go. That's the show done, everybody. Sure, we better get out of here, hey? We should. Coming up on Wednesday, we'll talk more about my birthday. It's done. It's exhausting. No, it's done.

It's done. It's done. I promise. It's done? Because you're definitely not wrong about that. No, I said done. Oh, it's done. Yeah, no more birthday chat.

All right. And then you've got a hustle reveal. Yeah. I'm excited for that. It's exciting. You are. You couldn't predict the things we've done to promote this podcast. It's so out of the box. Well, I did see that

you posted on the social saying we're all together because you were with contraceptive diaphragm Sam and fourth wheel Oscar. Roving a porter Oscar, yes. Chookin' Oscar. Yeah. We need to settle that title. I was a bit upset that during the misfits they went rogue and called him Chookin' Oscar. I agree. No, no.

He signed the paper when he joined our team. For real? That's his title. Yes, but Oscar wanted to be known as Chookin Oscar. It's actually not his call. Well, I want to be known as Bette Midler, but we just can't have it, can we? Okay, Bette Midler. It doesn't actually fit me when you say it out loud.

Anyway, yes, I teamed up with the Misfits. I did. And you have no idea what we were up to. Wow. You've turned your back on your original co-host. I don't see that as true at all. No. Wow.

That's like Carrie Bradshaw teaming up with the cast of Friends. But they're not our rivals. Yeah, and they're both very successful. It's clear we look at them in different ways. Yeah, I think we do. I don't see the Misfits as rivals. They're an extension of our team. No, it's my inner radio.

I'm kind of built to kill. It's quite horrific. So do you have some sort of vengeful rage towards other shows in different time slots on Kiss? Oh my god, if I saw Christy Swann in the street, she'd be scammed. No, no, no, on Kiss. Because the Misfits are on our podcast. They're not a rival podcast.

So do you hate, like, I don't know. Will and Woody. Yeah, do you hate Will and Woody? No, I don't. You're right. Okay, you're right. I can literally see them right now. Yeah, I can see them through the glass door. They're here.

Let's get them in and ask if they hate you. We don't have time. All right. Thank you for listening, guys. Leave us a five-star review on Spotify or Apple. You can also follow us if you don't. Thank you for listening, and we'll be back in a couple days. Catch you soon, idiots.

See ya. Bye-bye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast in a couple of days. Catch you soon, idiots. See you. Bye-bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief, our secret segment on the end. We don't really want people to hear this part of the episode,

which is why it's a secret, because we just go a bit feral. We don't know what we're doing. Our brains switch off. Chiri, you've got proof of that currently. You've switched off. I've switched it back on. That takes a lot of might for me to switch that thing on. I was trying so hard.

You were sweating. It was trying so hard. You were sweating. It was like sleep paralysis. Sleep paralysis. And my brain wanted to say sleep analysis because I went to my sleep doctor this week. Yeah, nice. My sleep apnea is almost non-existent. I often get to go to that bar set. I feel like we hear a lot about this. Very rarely. And he's like, Mitchell, I am blown away with your recent weight loss. Your

sleep apnea is almost non-existent. Wow. We still, however, have to continue treating. So you have it or you don't? I do, but very mild. Okay. So if I want to do another sleep study, I could see if my apnea is still bad enough to quantify the machine.

How much do they cost, the study? Oh, a study? Oh, you can get them bulk-build, get them free with Medicare. Oh, really? Because I remember I was talking to you about it. I was like, I maybe should get one done because I just can't recall the last time that I woke up feeling refreshed. It's been ages. Listen, I am an advocate for getting your sleep analysed because even if it's not sleep

apnea, it could be something else. Yeah, exactly. Get your sleep done. You can actually do at-home ones now and it's not like a full, you know, wiring up of the heart and the waist and the lungs and the neck and everything. You can just do like one module on your chest and it checks everything. Oh, okay. Pretty cool. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. It'll be hard for you, on your chest and it checks everything. Oh, okay. Pretty cool.

That's cool. Yeah. It'd be hard for you, Janet, considering you sleep in the hyperbaric chamber. Yeah. I don't know how they'd make that happen. I don't know. But surely there's a way. Yeah.

It's 2024. Yeah, no doubt. So, you know how we often talk about the podcast curse? Yeah. How we sink a ship. If we collaborate with another podcast, they wrap up. Yes. They do not continue.

Yeah. And we were talking last week about how maybe I'm the one with the curse because I've appeared on a few podcasts recently and they've ceased to exist. So you weren't even there. So it can't be both of us. It might just be me. And I've also been on podcasts that have not failed. Yeah, exactly.

Not all of the ones I've been a guest on have failed, but enough that I'm like, fuck, that's not good, is it? Yeah, you also want to get repeat booking, so careful what you say. Yeah, I want to be a friend of the show, you know? Anyway, so I've realised that maybe I'm the cursed one because some other things have happened, not just podcast dying, people. Dying? Yeah. Like, for example, remember back in the day when we were figuring out our jingle for the

Idjim phone number? Yeah. We were toying with the idea of the Friends theme song. Yeah. And then I started re-watching Friends. I was like, oh, it's been years. And then within that week that I started re-watching it, Matthew Perry died. Oh, no.

And so it kind of hit home even more so for me because I was like, oh, my God, I just started re-watching it and now he's gone. That's so weird. Yeah. more so for me because I was like, oh my God, I just started re-watching it and now it's gone. That's so weird. Yeah. So, last weekend, Sean and I were watching that show Fake.

Oh, with Asher Keddie. Yes. Yes. With Asher Keddie. Oh no. It's actually really good. Very stressful. That's a great recommendation.

Oh no. Anyone, if you want to check out Fake. And then another character pops up and I said to Sean, holy fuck, is that Lynn Scully from Neighbours? And he goes, oh my God, it is too. I barely recognised her. And I said, Sean, holy fuck, is that Lynn Scully from Neighbours? And he goes, oh my God, it is too. I barely recognised her. And I said, yeah, she looks terrible. She's aged horribly.

She looks a hundred at the moment. But I recognised the voice. I knew it was Lynn Scully from Neighbours played by Janet Andrew Arthur. Right? Yeah. And so we start Googling and this was a Saturday night. Bear that in mind. We start Googling Janet Andrew Arthur age and we're like, oh, she's 72.

Okay. So she's getting up there. But fuck, she was so gray. It looked so different. And then the next day, the next fucking day, I've not thought about this woman, Janet Andrew Arthur for years and years and years. The day after I was Googling her, it's announced that she passed away on Friday. So I'm talking shit about her on a Saturday.

And then she died. Saying that she passed away on Friday. So I'm talking shit about her on a Saturday. And then she dies. Saying that she looks horrible and she's age 72. But by this point, she was already dead because she died on the Friday. But you know what? She died on the Friday, but I'd started watching the show without Sean. And then I said, oh, let's watch it on the weekend. I think you'd like this. So I reckon I killed her because I started watching first.

I just feel like I can't be nostalgic because I might kill them. Yeah. Like I killed Matthew Perry. You did. Because it had been years since I'd watched Friends and I'm like, I'm going to dip my tie back in that show. I miss it. He's dead.

Can you maybe put your eyes over Jojo Siwa's series? That wouldn't be nostalgic for me. I don't really. Fuck, you're right. I've Googled it. She died in her sleep. Yeah. But surrounded by her family. She died in her sleep, but surrounded by her family. Yeah, it sounded very... They said she died peacefully.

But how do you die in your sleep surrounded by your family unless you're sleeping in one of those beds like Willy Wonka in the Chocolate Factory? I think they probably knew that it was time. She had some sort of illness, which they've not clarified, but they were there with her being like, oh, this is probably it. She's a true Aussie talent. Genuine.

Very, very sad. Oh, I loved the Scully family. Oh, me too. Do you remember we played her cat fight scene with Rebecca from Neighbours? We played that on this podcast because it's my Roman Empire. I think about it often. Lynn Scully and Rebecca just having a mad scrag fight in the mud on the front lawn. Yeah.

Yeah, her daughter was Holly Valance. Yeah, Holly Candy. Holly Candy. Sorry, Maya. That was quick. Felicity. And Steph. sorry, Maya. That was quick. The rebrand. Felicity. And Steph, Steph Scully. Yes.

That was Lynn's daughter as well. One of the great names, Andrew Arthur. But it's not hyphenated, guys. It's not Andrew-Arthur. Yeah, it's one word. It's one word, Andrew Arthur. It kind of looks exotic. It does look good.

It's a great name. Oh, rest in peace. What an icon of our times. Isn't that just the weirdest eerie timing? That Saturday, I was Googling her her finding out what is her age and obviously no one had updated her bloody Wikipedia or whatever saying that she's now deceased because it hadn't been announced. But by that point she was already dead.

So weird. So fucking weird. It is weird how things like that happen. But also Fate came out a couple of months ago. So it's not like it's a total new show. It didn't happen until I tuned in. Yes. Fuck.

Yes. I did it. I killed Janet. Yes. I did it. I killed Janet Andrew Arthur. I'm so sorry to the Andrew Arthur family. Did she look unwell in the show? No, she didn't look unwell. She just looked completely different to how she did on Neighbours because she had really grey hair.

And I was like, whoa, fuck, is this part of the character or is that what she looks like now? And so that's why we were Googling. And, yeah, she was all grey and a bit frail. Got it. I think we can put this down to a coincidence, no doubt. But she still seemed healthy in Fake and everything. Yeah, she was so good in Fake.

It's the same character. She was Lynn Scully. What's the synopsis of Fake? Because they were filming it in Cronulla. Oh, really? Yeah, it was at Blackwood Pantry once getting coffee and I saw Asher Keddie getting coffee there too when they were filming down the road. Why didn't you call me immediately? Oh, my God,, I was at Blackwood Pantry once getting coffee and I saw Asher Keddie getting coffee there too when they were filming down the road.

Why didn't you call me immediately? Oh, my God. I would have driven there. I think I tried to get a photo for you, but it was all very dramatic. Yeah, right. The show is dramatic. Well, what's it about, Fate?

The label, Brittany Saunders. No, I feel like they've actually stolen the plot line from that whole Who the Fuck Did I Marry series on TikTok that I was telling you about. Oh, I did like that. So she's dating this guy who was a pathological liar. This is fake, the Asher Keddie show. And I think she's a smart woman, but she buried her head in the sand.

She saw the red flags. And even her therapist was like, no, you need to learn to trust. This is your problem. But no, she was right. He was a fucking liar. Yes. She'd never been to his house. Like he was always not turning up with really elaborate excuses.

And then after a while, she just was like, fuck you. Yes. She'd never been to his house. Like, he was always not turning up with really elaborate excuses. And then after a while, she just was like, fuck you. Yeah, but the excuses he made, she would Google them and they were legit. They kind of added up. Yeah. So then he was gaslighting her very creatively. They were dating for ages. Like, he was going to all these open houses telling her, I'm filthy rich.

Let's buy this really expensive property. Right. And then she'd get attached to the idea, I'm going to live here. And then at the last minute be like, no, I've changed my mind. I might look at this place instead. He was homeless. Yes. There was no way he could afford that place.

He lived under a boat. What? No spoilers. Oh, sorry. Now I'm going to sit in the boat at the show and go, well, there's his house. No, but they know, everyone knows watching from episode one onwards that he's full of shit. You're in on it. Okay.

And you're screaming at the screen, Asher, open your eyes. I got very angry with Asher. It's on Paramount+. Not being paid to promote it, but it's very enjoyable. I have Paramount+. I might watch. And then wait till the wedding episode. That's when Dead Lynn is in it.

Of course, yeah. So what are you saying? You've got powers beyond the grave. You think you have powers beyond the grave. Beyond the grave would mean that I'm dead, but I'm still using my powers. True. You've got powers to kill. Yeah, but I never put my mind to it.

I wasn't like, I'm going to kill her off. It just happens. It just happens. Podcasts, people. I know. I can't be trusted anywhere near them. We can't put you near them, Mitchell. No.

That's really concerning. Well, as long as Jenna and I are alive and thriving and prosperous, then I'm not upset I feel like you're a grim reaper. I am. Maybe you are. I can't watch MacLeod's Daughters ever again. Oh, don't you dare turn that show on. Yes, because every time I'm feeling nostalgic, re-television, that's when they die.

Oh, no, no, no. I can never watch it again. No, no, you can't. What else is there that you could watch? Like, what shows are peak nostalgia for you? Like, if you turned on Kim Possible, do you think Kim would die? Offspring. Don't kill the rafters.

Rebecca Gibney, we need her. I couldn't do that to her. No, don't do that to her. She's still got time left. Have you rewatched anything recently? And has the star not died? Well, I guess a bit of MacLeod's Daughters. I watched that when I went to stay at the place. True, but

didn't the horse recently pass? The horse? Yeah, MacLeod's horse. I'd be surprised if any of the horses on that show were still alive. I wonder how long horses live for. Let me check. Good call. You know that I never once googled until after I'd adopted Isabella how long cats live?

It wasn't until she was in my home and I'm cleaning her shit out of the kitty litter that I went, wait, fuck, how long am I stuck with her for? Yeah. I'm still going to have her when I'm 40. All things going well. Yeah. Should I check on her cat cam right now? Do it.

Oh, yeah. Horse lifespan, 25 to 30 years. Oh, okay. So some of the horses could still be kicking. However, in rare cases, domestic horses have lived into their 50s, even 60s. Oh, fuck. That's crazy. Let's do a little pop quiz round of how old do you think?

Ready? For horses? No, for any animal. You give me the animal and I will. What's their life expectancy? How long will they live? I'll give you an animal and you guys both lock in an answer. I want to give an animal.

Blue-tongued lizard. That's not how the game works. You're going to give the animal? Correct. Can you say blue-tongued lizard? All right, we'll do blue-tongued lizard. Yeah. Just an update for those who are worried Correct. Can you say blue-tongued lizard? All right. We'll do blue-tongued lizard. Yeah. Just an update for those who are worried sick.

She's just on her little couch, Isabella, on the cat cam. She's fine. I was a bit worried because there's been no motion detected for two hours. You're kidding. She's just that deep in sleep. She's just sleeping. Hold on. Show me.

She's a sleepy girl. Can you turn the mic on? I could, but I don't want to. Don't wake her up. She's so deep in sleep. She's fine. She's totally fine. Okay, wait.

Are we guessing? What's the animal? Blue could, but I don't want to. Don't wake her up. She's so deep in sleep. She's deep in sleep. Okay, wait. Are we guessing? What's the animal? Blue-tongued lizard. All right. The first animal, ladies and gentlemen, is what is the age span of frog? Oh, no. You said blue-tongued lizard. I've got that coming up.

I reckon they wouldn't be long, would they? Nah, because they start there. Because they graduate quite quickly from tadpole to frog. Yeah. Maybe like five years. I'm going to say seven. The common toad lives 10 to 12 years. Fuck. Isn't that crazy? frog. Yeah. Maybe like five years. I'm going to say seven. The common toad lives 10 to 12 years. Fuck.

Isn't that crazy? Wow. Yeah. Another one. Blue-tongued lizard. 15. 24. 20.

Shit, Jenna, you're good at this. Jenna was only slightly closer by one. That's fucked. Pigeon. Three years. Why three? I don't know. I just feel like pigeons don't age.

They're there or they're not. Six. Six is right. Can you see the screen? Get fucked. Wow. Another one. Okay.

Great white shark. Ooh. 30 years. 17. 70. Mitchell has that one. 70? 70?

You're joking. No. So there that one. 70? 70? You're joking. No. So there's some geriatric sharks out there. Male sharks don't mature until 26 years old. Female don't mature until 33. Oh, wow. It is hard to determine. However, 30 to over 70 years old.

Wow. Based on size and weight. So because they get so big, they're assuming they're that old. But they can't cut them in half and count the rings. They're not a fucking oak tree. When I was in Darwin, they were telling us about this. I did one of those crocodile feeding cruises. Oh, yes.

Where they hold out the fucking bits of meat on a stick. Yeah. I did that in Queensland. Oh, it's so freaky. Yeah. I actually wore one of our portable microphones thinking that Sean might film some reactions of me, but I was just so speechless. I didn't get any content. I was silent the whole time because I'm just there like petrified.

And there was this one crocodile who's like a legend in Darwin. I can't remember what it was called, but it's the fucking funniest story. It went viral at the time where this crocodile, because there's also sharks in that river with the crocodiles. A shark bit one of the crocodile's front feet off. And so by way of revenge, a couple of days later, that crocodile just ate the shark. The whole fucking thing. And there's all these pictures of it up on the bank, just eating a whole shark. Let me find

it. Is there footage? Let me find it. Good on it. Can you Google Darwin crocodile eats shark? Yeah, of course. Last one quickly. Pelican. Oh, 12. I was going to say 12 too.

15. However, the oldest lived to 47. Wow. 47. What am I doing? Darwin crocodile eats shark. And then is it Brutus or something like that? The name was something like that.

Sounds familiar. Crocodile devourers. Look at those photos. Monster croc. And I remember- Brutus, the giant croc. Brutus was eating a bull shark. And I remember that being on the news. So when

Brutus was jumping up next to the boat trying to eat the fucking meat with his one missing foot, I was like, I'm meeting a celebrity. Brutus, big fan of your work. Here we go. What's this? This is the crocodile being eaten. The crocodile? The shark, you mean?

Yeah, so the shark ate one of his feet and then Brutus is like, you wait, bitch, I'm coming back for you. And the thing is, there's heaps of sharks there and it knows exactly which one did it. Well, we can't really prove it either way, but it's a better story if we say, yeah, he tracked that motherfucker down. I feel like Bruce did. Give me my foot back, fuck yeah.

Crocodiles are terrifying. They're so dinosaur-like when you see them in real life. They literally are. I got to hold the stick with the chicken on it. Oh, no did. Give me my foot back, fuck yeah. Crocodiles are terrifying. They're so dinosaur-like when you see them in real life. They literally are. I got to hold the stick with the chicken on it. Oh, no way. What? How did you put your hand up for that? Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe the Queensland crocs are less vicious because in Darwin they were like, everyone get back. Don't even lean your hands on the railing of this boat because they'll come and fucking eat it off. Yeah, it nearly ate the stick. Did it almost pull you in? Yeah.

I was behind a fence. That is horrible. I went to Australia Zoo and saw Robert Irwin when he was a kid do the show. Oh, really? Yep. I remember that. It's really weird that that family have built a whole living of getting up close and personal with crocodiles.

I know. Imagine being born into that and you're like, I actually fucking hate crocodiles. It's a miracle that Bindi and Robert share their enthusiasm. I'd like to be a baker. They're like, no, you'll rear this crocodile from hand. Like, it's a bit brutal.

It's fucked. Yeah. All right, should we go, guys? Sure, okay. If you want. We probably should. Yeah, well, we hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today.

That's all. So we do. So we fucking do. Amen. We'll see you guys in a couple of days. Thank you for listening. Catch you on Wednesday. And idiots, strap yourself in.

The hustling. Oh, we did good, Jen. We did good. You're in for a treat. And I did good on my own. Didn't need help from anyone else. Okay. We'll see.

We'll see. Hustlers. Catch you on Wednesday. See you, idiots. Bye-bye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches.

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