Is It Just Me? - #238: SMUT!

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

We're calling out the smut 🤪   In this episode: Churi’s godawful marketplace feedback (05:15) Is age 28 TOO YOUNG to need a nose hair trimmer? (15:14) Flirty baristas (23:46) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (33:30)     Merch still available! coupleofmitches.com.au 🛍️   Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitches Send us a text: 0422 948 202See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello you. Hello you. Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. You know I saw Ada Nicodemo in Westfield the other day? When? It was Thursday.

No, when did I ask? Oh, fuck off. Now here's Mitch Turey and Mitchell Coombs. Hello you. Hello you. Oh, she doesn't feel they and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, you. Hello, you. Oh, she doesn't feel the same knowing that we're terminal. Terminal. We're terminal.

Yes, we announced in the anniversary episode on Monday that we're wrapping the podcast at the end of the year. We're done. And here's the awkward thing. We did a double record, so we are currently speaking to you immediately after we recorded that episode. And so we've had no real way to gauge the reaction because we're talking right now before the announcement episode goes out.

So I don't know if people are sad or thrilled. Yeah, I think it'll be mostly sad. There'll be a few people that are thrilled. They're like, oh God, they had their time. Yeah. They used to be good. Four years too late. But yeah, we're here so we don't have any messages of sympathy.

Let's just assume everyone was lovely. Thank you for your heartfelt words. Oh, God. It's what you said was so, and the roses that turned up at my door were gorgeous. Price Cuber Jenna is here, of course. Hi. Hasn't moved. Mitch and I went to the loo.

Jenna's just like, you just work like a machine. Yeah, that's what I do. The two of you are so low maintenance because when we stopped down between episodes, I was like, I've got to do a piss. Yeah. I've got to make a coffee. I've got to have some water, pour another wine. And I'm like, do you guys want anything water?

Nah. I was like, what the fuck? You just have no need. I'm just very chill. I was just sitting. I didn't even move. Jenna and I sat here. And then Mitch, when you went to the toilet,

Jenna and I didn't even talk to each other. Oh, that is so awkward. Am I the glue? No, but the thing is I didn't even realise. I did but didn't do anything. What's worse? Oh, so you were like, we're not talking. This is so awkward.

No, I just thought to myself, God, we're sitting here in silence. But I think that's the sign of a good friendship when you don't have to talk. Yes, I agree. I agree. We're sitting here in silence. But I think that's the sign of a good friendship when you don't have to talk. Yes, I agree. I agree. We're very good at that. So, yes, we're sitting here after just announcing the death of the show. My music box is there. The half-drunk champagne is there.

The sadness is there definitely. Yeah, it's there. Yeah. Well, change of subject. The weirdest thing happened to me today on my way here when I was getting lunch. Tell me if I'm in the wrong or if the woman's in the wrong. Because I was ordering lunch. You. if I'm in the wrong or if the woman's in the wrong. Because I was ordering lunch. You. You.

And I got a chicken roll. And then I always go to this place and get these rice paper rolls and I take them later and I have them for work. So the lady goes, oh, do you also want rice paper rolls? And I went, oh, do you have any without avocado? Because I'm allergic. And she went, oh, only this last one. I'm like, all right, I'll get those two. So she keeps making my roll.

So I kind of put them on lay-by. Anyway, there's a line forming behind me. And even I'm thinking, like, this is taking up time. It's taking a while. So I'm standing there waiting. My chicken roll is done. And then I go, oh, and also don't forget the rice paper rolls. And she goes, oh, all good.

Grabs the rice paper rolls. And this woman behind me goes, oh, sorry, I'm going to get those. I'm getting those ones. Oh. No, you ordered first. Yeah. And I went, oh, no, I'm getting them. And she went, yeah, but you had the chicken roll.

And I've been waiting here to get just those rolls. Oh. And I went, oh, no, sorry. I was always getting them. And the poor woman making my roll was like, oh, we know Mitch. He's allergic to avocado. He has to have these. And she went, oh, are you allergic to avocado?

And walked off. Oh, she's rude. Yeah, you're not in the wrong. Like, tough tits, lady. I understand her frustration. She was probably looking forward to those fucking little, what were they? Rice paper rolls. Rice paper rolls, yeah.

She was probably looking forward to them. She could have allergies for all we know. But, yeah, don't take it out on you. No. I know, but isn't it funny to hide on some people to think, well, no, I was getting those. Like, you're not first in line. First dibs is real.

She's like, I'm hungry. Get the chicken. Let a bitch eat. I thought, what? A little bitch. And then to go, oh, you're allergic to avocado. It's like you're on rations. You're only allowed that.

I know. It was so weird. I felt guilty, but I was in the front of the line. See, that is another one of those random acts of kindness, pay it forward opportunities that you stared in the face and said, no, I'm not going to do it. Oh, what, you expect me to say, yes, you can have them. I don't expect that, but that would have been a beautiful ending to the story if you'd have been like, oh, honey, I don't want you to be hungry. Here you go.

No, she was rude. Yeah, that's true. If it was like she deserved it, different story. But yeah, you're right. If she was an old dittery woman who thought, oh, my lunch. Yeah, what does she look like? Not that it matters, but it matters. She had a lot of work done, full of filler and bright blonde hair.

A maths wannabe. Yep. Looked me in the eyes. Oh, I don't know how you would have eaten them with those lips, Nancy. How rude. Anyway, it just rattled me. It rattled me. Put me in a mood.

But I'm out of it now because I'm here with you two. Anyway, welcome everyone to Is It Just Me? Every show we start the same way. Something we've noticed. Something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don here with you too. Anyway, welcome everyone to Is It Just Me? Every show we start the same way. Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's. So my idjim kind of ties into the fact that we're too old to be hosting a podcast about the rude shocks of young adulthood because there's something that I'm now guilty of that makes me officially old. Oh no, Mitchell. And I expected this to happen much

later in life, I've got to tell you. Really? Okay. Well, mine's basic. Should we just jump in with mine? Sure. Go on. Mine's very straightforward. Here we go.

Hit me, Bradley. Go for it. Is it just me or? Is this message that I received from Facebook Marketplace an absolute slap in the fucking face? So, as you know, I'm a reformed Facebook marketplace addict. What do you mean reformed? Well, I was good.

I've been working on getting my reviews up to five star because, as we've discussed, they were two. Oh, I forgot about that. I forgot that. And was that based largely on your rudeness? Yes. But not like, you're a bitch. Give me this smeg kettle.

It was like, I just wouldn't respond. I was a harsh negotiator. As the seller? Well, just my overall rating. So I honestly think a bit of column A, a bit of column B. How do you check that? Because I didn't know that I had a rating because I've been Facebook market placing my flaps off of like.

Yes, if you go to Facebook, then if you hit marketplace and hit the little profile icon on the top right, it then gives you your marketplace profile. You hit view my marketplace profile. Let me see what I'm up to. I've got, oh, see, I've gone up to now three and a half stars. Oh, that's not bad. Yeah.

If I really wanted your item and I was buying something from you, I would see the three and a half stars and be like, roll the dice. Yes. How bad could it be? Look at this. Nakata says my seller's strengths are punctuality, communication, and pricing. And then Nathampong says my seller's weaknesses is pricing. Oh, so this is her rating about you.

Yeah. And so what did she say? My weaknesses were punctuality. My weaknesses are communication. Oh, we knew that, the punctuality. James says my weaknesses were the item description. Go fuck yourself. What was the item?

I don't know. I can't click it. They're just old reviews. Anyway, so I sold, look at this, a Smeg milk frother. It was $100. Why were you getting rid of that? Well, because for my birthday, my parents got me a Breville espresso machine, a coffee machine. Oh, that's harder than the pod thing.

I know, but I love it. Like, I really love. I used to have an espresso machine when I lived at a home, and then in the divorce, I lost it, and it was dreadful. So I've always wanted one, and they got me one. I'm very lucky. Don't you find that more fiddly? No, but I like, I'm a dreadful. So I've always wanted one and they got me one. I'm very lucky. Don't you find that more fiddly? No, but I like, I'm a bit like, I like to understand. Yeah.

And I like to froth my own milk. Yeah. I like the taste of espresso. Coffee is one of my favorite things in the world. So I really want it. I just offered you one and you were like, nah. I can't have two. If I have one this late in the day, I won't sleep.

Oh God, we're getting old. I know. I'm like an ant. All right. So here it is i sell this the milk proffer everyone's selling it for 140 so i think i'll do 100 because i want a quick sale yeah easiest i've ever had hi is this available sure is has a lid yep sorry side note is it just me on the fly why do they ask if it's available i know yeah the ad's there i know i know she goes

can i make it 80 i can pick it up now i said this is priced to sell at 100. It's the cheapest online I've price checked. Plus, I've got a lot of interest. Oh, that's so aggro. I had no interest. That's so aggro. She says, okay, address please. But it worked. So she comes.

In 10 minutes. I'm here. Coming. Perfect. I go to the door. She's there. My dog Hamish, my parents' house, runs out. And she goes, oh, do you want me to grab him?

I'm like, just come inside. And Hamish, Hamish comes inside, so I shut the front door. So she's now inside the house. The more I hear about Hamish, I think he's such a bother. He's not a bother. He's 14 years old. He kind of like ditterily walked out and wanted to go and do a wee out the front. And you didn't let him?

No, because he'll run down the street and the whole thing. What a bother. So she ended up coming in the house with Hamish, with me, shut the door. So we were there for like three minutes. I'm like, do you need anything? You all good? She went, no, I'll get going. we were there for like three minutes. I'm like, do you need anything? You all good? She went, no, I'll get going.

I've got to go to work. I'm cool. She gave me the $100 cash. Then she left. Ten minutes later, I get this message. A message, not a review? A message. Yeah.

Thank you very much for the frother. By the way, I'm a house cleaner. If someday you need your house professionally cleaned, you're what the fuck i invite nakandana into my house and she says pig pen she goes 10 minutes after leaving she thought you know what i'm gonna message she had to disinfect the proper house is vile but my favorite thing is is it wasn't like I'll send you my rates. It was basically I'll come. She's on Domestic Blitz and she's Shelley Craft and she's coming down on his luck, this poor boy.

I'll clean the house for you. That's her good deed for the day. So rude. On the other hand, I'm like you've got to hustle, baby. Yeah, I'm the same. She's promoting her business. Maybe she listened to the podcast and she heard you've got to hustle. Props to her. So Nakandana Cleaning Services in Sydney, if you need a good the podcast and she heard you got a hustle. Yeah. And, you know, props to her.

So, Nacandonite Cleaning Services in Sydney, if you need a good cleaner that is also a bit of a bitch. Okay, hang on. This doesn't count as Facebook Marketplace, but I had an interaction recently that some of my friends thought was so weird, but I was so fine with it. What happened? So, someone posted in the Facebook group for my building saying,

does anyone have any empty candle jars? And I had a bunch of candles with this much left. So I was like, I'll burn through them. They're yours. And then as like a thank you, he filled one of my jars and brought it over and said, here you go. Here's a housewarming present. I said, oh, thank you.

Very nice. And then he says, by the way, when you first gave me the jars, I had no idea who you were. But like, I don't know how the algorithm figured it out. But all of a sudden, all I'm seeing is your Facebook videos. Oh, cute. And I just want to say, you're so funny. And I was like, oh, well, thank you.

And he goes, yeah, no, I loved it. I was watching the farm videos. I was like, oh, thank you. Lovely. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I detected the fact that he might have been of our persuasion. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Yes. Attractive. A-huh, yeah. Yes. Attractive. A poof, if you like. Oh, yeah. Poofy. And so I came back upstairs and roving reporter Oscar happened to be here. You love Oscar. I said, that was so nice.

This guy told me that he just discovered me and he loves the videos, whatever. And he goes, give me a look. Give me a look. I want to see his Facebook page. I love Oscar. Oh, I love this, yeah. And so because we'd been messaging on Facebook about the jars, the candle jars.

The jars, yeah. I had his Facebook profile, so I showed it to Oscar, and he goes, he's a liar. I said, what do you mean? And he goes, I've spoken to him on Grindr. Oh. While I've been at your house. And this was going back six months, and he said,

aren't you Mitchell Coombs' friend? Oh, my God. So he didn't just discover you. He's a fucking liar. Wow. And I said, do you know what? I'm still fine with that because I would make up a lie for fear of seeming creepy. Like, by the way, I know who you are.

Now I know where you live. He was like, I've only just discovered you. Like he was trying to play it cool. That's fine. I would do the same thing. Yeah, I don't think it's a white lie in order to keep things kind of nice and non-creepy. He gave me a candle. And also, he didn't come upstairs.

He insisted. He goes, I'll meet you in your lobby because like privacy, you don't want to know where you live. And I was like, now I get it. And so, it was just very pleasant, very lovely. I'm burning the candle right now. Is it not fucking gorgeous? Where is the candle? In the guest bathroom.

Yes, it's a beautiful candle. Blood orange and grapefruit. Mate, I saw a red flashing light in the middle of that candle when I was doing a piece. Oh my God. Is he spying on us? Yes. When you were on the toilet. Oh, and I did a shit and flicked poo everywhere on the poo cleaner.

Is it just me? The rude shocks of young adulthood. Now, if I could please take a moment, if I may, on my own podcast. Yes, it is Terminal. We've looked at all the treatment options. Nothing can fix it. We haven't got long lips. We don't, no.

And we spoke to Charlie Tao and he can't do it. And you know it's bad when even Charlie can't fucking fix things. He's like, you guys are beyond repair. You know what you can do to help me out is you can go and purchase some I'm With Idiot merchandise. It is still available. Speaking of my good friend, I think you're friends with him too, Pricekeeper. What's his name? Proving reporter Oscar.

Oscar. He is beautiful. I love him, but I have to destroy him. So we are still competing at merchandise and you can buy mine, my I'm With Idiot range available now on coupleofmitches.com.au So just to recap, we were having a bit of a competition who could sell more merch

because we were all responsible for a design apart from Jenna. We were all responsible for a design. I won by a landslide. Thank you. Pause us for applause. Oh, fuck you. I'm sitting a landslide. Thank you. You did. You did. Pause just for applause. Oh, fuck you. I'm sitting on my hands. Anyway.

Go Mitchell. And you and Oscar came tied second. Correct. Because I'm with Idiot, your design, versus Chookin, his design. Yeah. And so now we're down to a tiebreaker. But it's just a bit unfair because he doesn't have a right of reply. You're here flogging your merch.

When does he get the open forum? Well, start a podcast. He's got a huge audience. We've got a huge Misfits audience. Jenna, do not try and create a divide between me and Oscar. There is not one. I love Oscar. He's got a huge audience and you've got a huge attitude problem. Clearly. My I'm With Idiot is available and now you know that the podcast is over. Buy it because let me tell you that domain, we're not going to keep paying for it when this show's gone, guys. That's gone.

Honestly, when we're gone, the merch is gone with us. Amen. So coupleofmitches.com.au. Genuinely, it would mean the world if you could please buy some tees. And there is one shirt that I will personally kiss. That's all I'm going to say. Okay. Just one?

I might even use one as a cum rag and you might get it. Oh, sorry. I'm just saying I couldn't. Smut. Smut. That's what you should say any time I'm disgusting because it really affects me. That word. Smut.

Yeah, there's something about it. It's like an electric dog collar. When I say the word smut, you're like, what? It makes me feel like a cat that's had its nose rubbed in piss. Smut. That's how I feel. You should just say smut. Smut. All right, I will. That's the new strategy going forward. Put that on merch. Smut. Smut That's how I feel You should just say smut Smut

Alright I will That's the new strategy going forward Put that on merch Smut Smut But I will come on a shirt And one of those Smut

And by the way The brand new merch Only just released Jenna's rash vest Yeah That is now for sale Limited run Get in before they sell out

And also Our collection of mugs We've got a brand new one Av for this season, a new design, plus all the old mugs if you want to complete your collection. Yeah, the final mug is available for sale. No more mugs ever. And you want to have all those mugs on your shelf in your office or in your kitchen season two till five, six.

Season six. Yeah, it's fucking confusing, isn't it? Five-year anniversary. It is confusing. Yeah. I think fuck we've done more episodes than Friends. All right, is it time for my item? Yes, it's fucking confusing, isn't it? Five-year anniversary. It is confusing. Yeah. I think fuck we've done more episodes than Friends. All right, is it time for my item? Yes, let's go.

Let's do it. Bradley. Is it just me or... Did you think you'd be much older when you started needing a nose hair trimmer? Oh my God. Much older. Do you have one? Well, it was like an attachment with my razor. Yeah. I didn't think I would ever need that attachment, but my God. Much older. Do you have one? Well, it was like an attachment with my razor.

I didn't think I would ever need that attachment, but my God, I do. Really? Quite often. Mitchell, show me your nose. I don't think I want to. Show me those nostrils. I need to see the nose. Look up.

I can't see a thing. There's no hair there at all. I am due see a thing. There's no hair there at all. I am due for a trim. But the reason I'm so fucked off is because I remember giving my grandfather for Father's Day an ear and nose hair trimmer. Yes. And so in my mind, I'm like, you have to be fucking old to require one of those. Yeah. It started off every once in a while. By the way, is it just me on the fly?

Do you hate having to shave more often the older you get? Yeah. Just my facial hair. Like I used to be able to get more often the older you get? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Just my facial hair. Like, I used to be able to get away with once a week, maybe twice. Now it's every second day. You're kidding. Every second day.

No, but you like to be, like, fully shaved, right? No. Clean shaved. It's because I don't have that much facial hair on my face. It's all the neck beard, which looks hideous. Yeah, you do have a neck beard. Thanks. No, no, no.

I shaved yesterday. No, no, no. We've discussed it before. That's what I mean. We've spoken about your neck beard. Yes. And so I have to neck beard? Thanks. No, no, no. I shaved yesterday. No, no, no. We've discussed it before. That's what I mean. We've spoken about your neck beard. Yes. And so I have to shave every two days. And it used to be like maybe once every couple of weeks I'd give the nose hair a trim as well

because sometimes you can feel them protruding outside the nostril. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now it's like once or twice a week. Really? It's that old thing of like the more you shave it, the quicker it grows back. I think that's a wife's tale. But it's happened. My nose hair is out of you shave it, the quicker it grows back. I think that's a wives' tale. But it's happened. My nose hair is out of control.

Oh, Mitchell, this is sad. Actually, as I inhale through my nostrils, I can feel the breeze flowing through my nose hair. Oh, really? Yes. Can you get it? I want to try it. I've never trimmed my nose hairs in my life. Yeah, I can duck downstairs.

You guys chat amongst yourselves. Yeah, go for it. No, Jenna and I, we're left alone. Hang on, is that a bit fucked to use my nose hair? Oh,. Yeah, I can duck downstairs. You guys chat amongst yourselves. Yeah, go for it. No, Jenna and I, we're left alone. Hang on, is that a bit fucked to use my nose? Oh, it's fine. No, no. No, because it's just, I've got a clean nose. Yeah.

No. I don't. I said chat amongst yourselves. Yeah, we are. We are. We don't have much in common. No, we don't talk much. We should say the real reason the show's ending.

It's Christopher. You and I. You and I. The love's palpable. It is. We're deeply connected. We should say the real reason the show's ending. It's Christopher. You and I. You and I. The love's palpable. It is. We're deeply connected. We really are. And we're in love and it's tearing Mitchell apart.

He's always been jealous. After I heard you on The Misfits, I thought, I need to fit in there. That was disgusting. I need to fit in there. Smut. Oh, he's back. A little wet wipe. Thank you.

So do you need a demonstration first? I'm assuming you just shove it up and twist. Sort of, yeah. You do yours, yeah. I've really never used one. Never in my whole life have I trimmed my nose. That's depressing. I have to use it so often.

What's your ethnicity again? White. Scottish and Welsh. I couldn't be more fucking white. Okay, I'm going to get my camera up because I want to see if I've got any. Oh, trust me. You'd feel it. You know if they're there.

I don't think I do. You go first. I've just cleaned it. Okay. Janet, can you film it just from this angle? All right, here we go. Oh, it's like a pen. Around the circumference of the nostril as well.

Oh, you can hear that. Yeah, there's some in there. How are you feeling? Oh, it's on there. Is it? Oh, you wait till next time you blow your nose. There'll be little fucking tiny hairs in there. Wow.

Little nose whiskers. Yuck. That's incredible. Oh, wow. I don't know if they're Mitch's nose pubes or mine. I cleaned it. You watched me clean it. Where's the wet one?

Let me wipe it for you. Jenna, are you not filming him? She's holding the camera but it's not recording. She's just sitting there holding the camera. She didn't hit record. You're a digital producer. You handed it to me recording. I thought you turned it on.

I think I actually turned it on and then you turned it off. Watch the video. Is there anything? Two seconds of nothing. I handed it to Jenna and turned it off. Watch the video. Is there anything? It took two seconds of nothing. I handed it to Jenna and then it stopped. For God's sake. We promise we did. That's it.

We have to use that. How did it feel, by the way, the nose hair trimmer? As a nose hair trimmer virgin, you popped your nose, Cherry. I did. It felt fine. I didn't feel anything at all. Nothing at all. Jenna?

I'll have a try. Okay, sure. Do women get nose hair problems? Yeah. Like mine actually, this is the grossest part. Sometimes when I forget to nose hair trim it, like there's one protruding from the nostril that I can just pluck. Wow.

Fucking hell. Oh. Jesus Christ. You bugger over here. Jenna's getting quite a bit out there. Oh my God. Oh my God. Jenna.

Christ, Jim Bunker over here. Jenna's getting quite a bit out there. Oh, my God. Jenna. Sounds like Kellogg's Crunchy Nut up there. Sounds like my insincurator. Yeah. Oh, my God. Jenna is full of it.

And so I've decided, yes, I'm in need of a nose hair trimmer at the ripe young age of 28. Yeah. As soon as I need an ear hair trimmer, I'm retiring. All bets are off. I'm fucking retiring. Yeah, no, it's time to go, Mitchell. How do you get the hair out?

No, Jenna, next time you blow your nose, you'll see the little whiskers, like I said. Really? Yeah. But hold on, Jenna. That's quite satisfying. Jenna, pinch your nose now. I've got razor bumps. Like, I can feel sharp hair.

Like, I've got pubere growth. Imagine if you got an ingrown nose hair. I could too. Yuck. I'm just giving my Brazilian to my nostril. Young kids, they're new to this. I think you still look gorgeous, Mitchell, so don't worry about it in the slightest. Thanks.

Despite my nose mane. Got something on your mind? Hit up at coupleofmitches on Instagram to get yourself on the show. Now is your turn. Be one of the final few to feature on this podcast. If you feature on this show in the last few episodes, it's almost like you're at our bed as we die. At our vigil.

Correct. Holding a candle in your hand. Now here's the awkward thing. Like I said before, we did a At our vigil. Correct. Yeah. Holding a candle in your hand. Now, here's the awkward thing. Like I said before, we did a double recording today. We recorded the announcement five-year anniversary episode where we told everyone that we're finishing at the end of the year. Correct. So, at the time of recording now, it hasn't aired yet.

And so, the person we're about to speak to doesn't know. Oh, you're right. Do we tell them? No, we can't tell them because it'd be an idiot. They're going to tell everyone else. Yeah, that's the risk. They'd say in the idiot group chat, they're fucking finishing the podcast.

We can't risk this getting out. This is big news. It is big news. See, I kind of selfishly want to hear the reaction being like, I've got an idea. I've got an idea. Just leave it with me. Oh, God, what are you going to do? No, we'll tell her.

Are you fucking going rogue? No, we'll tell her. What? But we'll just pretend we're joking. Oh, okay. We'll be like, just kidding. We'll get a real reaction and then go, nah, just got you, babe. Best of both worlds.

Yeah, yeah. We'll say, oh, how are you feeling after the announcement that we're finishing? Yes. You say it, not me. Okay, I'll do it. Yeah, you do it. Okay, cool. Who the fuck are we talking to? Her name is Tu it, not me. I'll do it. Yeah, you do it. Okay, cool. Who the fuck are we talking to?

Her name is Tappa, and that's not a joke. Tappa? First name Tappa, surname where? Oh, fucking hell. It's Tappa. T-U-P-P-E-R. Tappa. Tappa.

Barely know it. Hello? Hi, is this Tappa? Yes, it is. Hi, it's Mitch Mitch and Jenna. Have we said your name right? Tappa? No, it's Alicia.

It's my first name. Tapa is just a nickname. Oh, Alicia. Okay. That makes a lot more sense. Where the fuck did the nickname Tapa come from? It's my surname is Tapa. Oh, okay.

That's not a nickname. Yeah, well, no, but I play sports, so apparently it's easier for everyone, you know? Oh, right. Tapa. I get you. Well, welcome to the show, Tapa. Where in Australia are you? Canberra. I'm in Canberra. The nation's capital. G to the show, Tapa. Where in Australia are you? Canberra.

I'm in Canberra. The nation's capital. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Tapa, obviously we want to know how are you after the news that broke? Are you handling it okay? I think I'm going to be all right. Yes.

I think I'm going to handle it just fine. Oh, well, that's a bit disappointing. We thought you'd be more emotionally charged knowing that we're ending the podcast. Yeah, Tupper. No, see, I think I'm going to be okay with that because now that I'm going to steal the show and make my own, that's where I think I'm going to head with that. Tupper? This is backfired, mate.

This is backfired. Tupper, we're ending the show. I actually, I think, I don't believe it. I actually don't believe that. Yeah, we're joking. Yeah, we're joking. We're joking. We were joking. We thought you'd be upset, but we're joking. We're joking. We were joking.

We thought you'd be upset, but you're clearly not, which really does our hearts good. Have you got a fucking is it just me? Yeah. No, I do. All right, Radley, count Tupper in. Is it just me or? Barista's flirting with me or are they just doing their job?

They want to fuck you, Tupper. I think they do. But, like, where's the line? Where do I say, here's my number or just, like, take my coffee and go? Oh, I'm with you. Every barista that's ever made me a coffee is in love with me. Yeah. Well, I get this barista that gives me free coffees every now and then.

And it's like, are you being kind? Or are you in love with me? Just tell me. Well, what sort of kindness are we dealing with? If it's hi, how's your day? But if it's prolonged eye contact, you never know. Yeah, well, it is. I mean, I go to the same shop every morning. So they know me well.

They know how I like my coffee. And then sometimes I go, don't worry, it's on us. Are you attracted in return? I mean, I wouldn't say no, you know. That's what everyone wants to hear. Yeah, but let's do a role play, ready? I'm going to be there. Okay, I'm ready.

No, no, no, no, I'm you. I'm a male or female barista. A female barista. Okay. Are you queer or no? Yes, I am. Okay, good. So, good.

I'm going to be you, Tapa, and you show us how they act, okay? Yeah. Okay. All right, ready? Here we go. And I'm a real method actor. Next. Oh, no, you're the barista.

Yeah, you have to give me your order. You're Tupper. Well, that was just the coffee sound, so just pretend you were doing that. I'm lost. No, you're not barista. Yes, you have to give me your order. You're Tupper. That was just the coffee sound, so just pretend you were doing that. I'm lost. No, you're not. People are following. Hi, how are you? I'm well.

How are you? How's your day going? Oh, I'm good, thank you. I'm just Tupper. My real name is... Alicia. Alicia, but it's a nickname. Yeah, it's just a nickname.

So you can write whatever you want on the coffee. My day's good. Don't worry, I already know your order. So I'll just make that for you. Extra chocolate, right? Yeah, I love extra chocolate. What, did you remember that from last time? Yeah, I did. So don't worry.

I'll make it just the way you like it. Don't have to let your secrets stay with me with your special mocha. Well, why don't you fuck me in the pussy? Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Smut. I'm sorry. That's probably what I have to say, isn't it? That's how I'll know. Say it with a stopper. Smut. Smut. I'm sorry. That's probably what I have to say, isn't it? That's how I'll know. Say it with us, Tapa. Smut. Smut. She doesn't get it.

No, I don't. She never gets anything I do. So Tapa not getting any of this makes me think that the barista is not flirting with her at all. Yeah, and also if that was your impression of the barista's treatment towards you, I don't think that was anything that special. No, I promise. It's really, I promise. When you saw it in real life, you know, it's real.

It's real. I don't know. I want to believe you, but it sounds like the same interaction I have with my barista, who's a six-year-old woman, and she's not about to bend me over, is she? No. Mine, honestly. I didn't know that. Don't yuck someone's yum, exactly.

I just don't believe I'm her yum. It's a family business. You don't know that. Don't yuck someone's yum, exactly. I just don't believe I'm her yum. It's a family business. They're fucking Greek husbands here. Well, you don't know that. You don't. You look a little bit Greek. I feel I do. I just think, I promise, maybe I don't like secretly record the interactions.

That's not allowed. No, you can't. But you can report back to us because the barista really can't push it much further than that. So if you make a move, I think it's fine because they can't be seen to be preying on customers. But if you just give her your number, then the ball's in her cup. I'm in court. Mitchell, smut.

Smut. Smut. See, it doesn't feel good, does it? It's quite funny. Sorry, Tupper Tunnel. The show is over. Tupper, if you're listening, we are actually finishing the podcast and your lack of emotion towards that is quite hurtful.

And it's the reason why we're here. Yeah. Poor Tapa was trying to improvise with this and go, yeah, I know. Also, Tapa, you can message Jenna to get your tote bag. It's a prize for coming on, of course. Correct. And if you want to be one of the final few to feature on Is It Just Me, the podcast, you can text this number.

0-4-2-2-9-4-8-2-0-2. 0-4-2-2-9-4-8-2-0-2. Send us a text, please. Beautiful voice on us. I love him. Beautiful. Or you can send us a DM if you've got no credit at Couple of Mitches on Instagram. It's up to you.

There's two ways to get in touch, text or DM. You can buy credit. Oh, I thought you meant there's two ways you can get credit. You can buy it. You can get the app. Yeah, you can get the docket from the server. Yeah. Or you can do the self-serve checkout at the supermarket.

You just go into like a different section. You go recharge mobile and they'll print it on the docket. Yeah, of course. I remember my nan used to buy the credit in bulk, but receipts would fade. So then she'd just go to a top drawer where they all were and they'd fade and she'd be so upset. You know that I have to buy credit for the Idjim phone that Oscar just sang the number of?

Jesus Christ. But it's real nifty. You just do it on the app now. Recharge, bang. I don't have to get a docket. You only need two more months of credit. Yeah. What do we do about the number?

What do we do about the neon sign What do we do about the neon sign? Should we auction them off for charity? I was thinking that because at this point it's just clutter. Jeez, nice to know you're connected to the podcast. Oh, fuck up. Where's yours? In my house. In a moving box.

It's in a U-Haul somewhere. You couldn't find it. It was stolen. I can't find it. I don't know where it is. Oh, my God. Maybe my ex got it in the divorce. What should we do with the neons?

Maybe we smash them. No. Oh, no. They're too cool. We pay good money for those. We want them to be seen. What if we put them somewhere? Like we petitioned to Clover Moore, the Lord Mayor of Sydney,

to put them on Oxford Street. What if I put it on the penthouse balcony overlooking the very busy street down there? But then that's promo for a show that doesn't exist. It does exist now. Yeah, but they're not where you live. Oh, yeah. I could just be a really passionate fan.

There's only two of these in existence, one in your house and one in my ex's sex room. It is quite ambient lighting, isn't it? That's what I mean. Yolo and Pink are going to do wonders for the skin. Yeah. Well, think on that. We can add that to the agent bucket list. What do we do with all our props?

I want to keep it as a memento, but I'm like, I'm not going to forget that I did the podcast. I don't need something that huge in my home. Well, with your grandma's mental state, it's going to come for you at some point. So do you want to remember this show or not? I feel I'll remember. Keep it. I've got like 17 shirts.

I've got like all of our merch. I have a lot of the shirts too. Anyway, should we go? Yeah. Thank you for listening, idiots. We love you. Let's keep going. The show's great.

Come on. Imagine if I was like, fine, and we just tugged on everyone's fucking heartstrings and they'd be like, forget it. Let's uncancel. What if we just rebranded and called the show like, Hello with Mitch and Mitch. Hello you with Mitch and Mitch. Hello you with Mitch and Mitch. I don't know about that.

And we just gossip. But instead of an idgen, what do we bring? A hello you? We start the show the same way every episode with a hello you idgen. Something we've greeted, something we've- Oh my God. What if we just prank call a random number and say hello you and see how it goes? Oh, can we? Let's give it a try. What mood has come over you? I just made up a number. What if we just prank call a random number and say hello you and see how it goes? Let's give it a try.

I'll just come over you. I'll just made up a number. What the fuck is mood? Hello you. Okay. You can do it. Sure. I'm not on no caller ID shit.

So now Tambourine has your number. What was her name? I don't know. Clitoris? Alicia. I didn't even text her to say she was sorry tunnel. I think she knows. Hello?

Hello, you. Yep. How are you? Good. How's it been? Who is it? It's Mitch and Mitch. Who is it?

Is this Paulie? No. I'm here too. Oh, yeah. I'm here too. Yeah, she's here too. Hello, you. Hello, you. Oh, she hung up.

All right, that podcast doesn't have legs. Didn't work. You could have at least hustled while you were at it and been like, is it just me? Listen. No, because I didn't want to give her any reason to know who I was. You said Mitch and Mitch. Oh, fuck. And then Jen and I made it too.

All right. That doesn't have work. The show's still cancelled. If we can come up with a better substitute in the next couple of weeks, we'll relaunch. Anyway, we'll catch you back on Monday. Oh, she's calling. She's calling back.

Hello, you. Hello? Hello you Hello Hello What are you up to? Who's this? Who's this? This is Paul Who? Paul

Well I think you called the wrong number Oh bloody hell I hate it when that happens Sorry cover Don't worry about that young man I was calling Paul Oh, bloody hell. I hate it when that happens. Sorry, Cobber. Don't worry about that, young man. I was calling Paul. What's your name? My name's Klaus.

How are you, Corey? No, Klaus. K-L-A-U-S. Klaus? Like Santa. Like Santa? Yeah. What are you doing today?

I was meant to call my mate Paul. We served in NAMM together, but I haven't spoken to him in a while, so I thought I'd give him a buzz. But what are you doing, Klaus? Oh, okay. I was in Nam, too. Really? Yeah.

Where? That's a long time ago. I hung up on him. That was the weirdest thing that has ever happened. Yeah, correct. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. What is going on?

They've called back. You just said you served in Nam and he does too, so he probably wants to catch up with you. I'm deeply worried, guys. You're in too deep now. It's time to go. Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back on Monday.

Here we go. Catch you soon. See you. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app Welcome to ADD Brief, our secret segment on the end. This is the part where normally we go rogue.

That was a bit out of pocket. It was a little rogue. That was scary. I think Hello You has legs where you just keep prank calling someone until they're happy to have a conversation. Yeah. His laugh was... Oh, it's almost like instant interview.

We could have gotten to know Claus. Correct. That's the point. Well, we learnt that he served in Vietnam. I thought it was. Where did he say it was? Nam. Oh, Nam.

It's a shop in Vietnam. I was like, what the fuck are they talking about? He just texted me a question mark. We're best friends. Just send back an exclamation mark. I'm going to just send back a photo. No. No.

What a sweetheart. He said claws, did he? Yeah, like Santa. What a man. Like a contract. Like Santa. Yeah, yeah. Like a cat.

Oh, God. We should stay on the show. Every time you enjoy yourself, is that going to be what happens? We should just stay. Do you think we should add to the Idgenbucket to be what happens? We should just stay. Do you think we should add to the Idgen Bucket List a live show? We try to get one done before we end? Or is that too much admin?

I can see the stress in your eyes already. It's just like part of the reason we were wrapping up is because we can barely find time where we're all free to record, let alone do a live show. I know. Because knowing us, we'll lock it in, we'll promote it, we'll sell out the venue, no doubt. And then you'll say, sorry, I've got Aunty Monda's fucking christening or something, I don't know. Mitch just pointed to Jenna when he said that. Yeah.

I wonder if Claus would come to the live show. That'd be a great special guest. Yeah, buzz him back. No. You know who we should invite? Tug Dumley. Oh, my God, from the Investigation of Peter Rabbit episode. Yes.

What are the odds that roving reporter Oscar would stumble upon someone who has a vast amount of experience in improv slam poetry? It was incredible. That's one of my favourite moments on the show ever. I know. Actually, I struggle to recall a time that you've laughed that hard. Yeah. Just then.

And I was worried that when we went into that segment, I was like, is this true in? Obviously, me and my whole neighbourhood Facebook group are invested in this Peter Rabbit drama. The episode's called Peter Rabbit if you want to go listen. I was thinking Mitch and Jen are going to be like, we don't care as much as you. But, oh, my God, you guys were so swept up in it.

I loved it. The whole world was shocked by it. Can we talk to Claus again? I'm terrified. He's probably killed. He's probably killed. He's probably killed. Yeah, he's been to NAMM. I haven't been to NAMM.

Hang on. When the fuck was NAMM? It's a good question. Jenna, can you do that? Was it long ago enough that there's no way he could have been there because he would be dead? No, I'm pretty sure NAMM was the end of the 70s and the 80s. Yeah, he could be alive and have been to NAMM.

1975. 1975. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It went for a while. Jen, how long did it go from? Yeah, it went from 1954 to 1975. Yeah, it was very – it wasn't good. I'm going to grab another champ.

Yeah, go for it. Wow, I am the glue. Sorry, I was reading about Vietnam. No, it's more so I'm not going to bring up a point when my co-host isn't sitting there. What about if I wrote Vietnam War Clause? Should we do another Hello You test? Yes.

Oh, God. What? Another voicemail. Oh, who? Who is it? It's just tapping. That's really scary. It's polishing tapping. That's really scary. It's polishing his brain.

That sounded like a threat. That was Morse code for I'm going to kill Jenna. I'm actually going to look up Morse code translator. It was dunk. Morse code translator or Morse code generator. Yeah. Translator. Translator? Yeah. So, translator. Translator?

Yeah. So if I write in, I'm going to kill Jenna. Does it give me back what it is in morse code? It should. Okay. This is a bit dark, but oh well, we're here now. Yeah. Thanks a lot, Claude.

Hmm. Fuck. How could anyone keep up with that? So what do you want me to do? Do you want me to play that back? Play what back? Play the Morse code back and see what he says. No, I'm not involving claws in this anymore.

I was just curious. What is I'm going to kill Jenna in Morse code sound like? And that was it? Yeah. That's ridiculous. Bit like? And that was it? Yeah. That's ridiculous. Bit wordy, isn't it? Do you know the guy, the man who decoded the Nazi Morse code, the Nazi system, was a poof?

Oh, good for him. He was gay. I think he was killed. And he's on the British $5 pound because he loved a pound. That's what they did to him. I don't know about that. Williams-Thanning or something? What was his name?

Jenna, can you Google that? Just Google. She's like, I'm not sure what I'm Googling. Jenna, trust me. No, Jenna, Google gay Nazi code, and I'm telling you it'll come up. Alan Turing? That's him. Is he your cousin? Alan Turing?

He's just the past tense. Turing, Turing, Turing. Present tense. I'm Turing. Yeah, no, you're not wrong. He's not wrong.? Alan Turing? He's just the past tense. Turing, Turing, Turing. Present tense. I'm Turing. Yeah, no, you're not wrong. You're not. He's not wrong. He's Turing.

Turing. Alan Turing. Yeah, how was he killed? I think it was quite awful. Why are we talking about this? Because he's a queer man. I'll say- He saved World War II.

When he was 39, he met Arnold Murray, a 19-year-old unemployed man. They had a relationship. Well, how opposite is that? And that's what killed him. There. Okay. Here we go. His housekeeper found him dead. Oh, no.

He died from cyanide poisoning. Oh, he was killed. What's that? Cyanide's poison. Yeah, but how does that happen? What about this? When his body was discovered, an apple lay half eaten beside his bed. Wow.

He was poisoned with an apple. Yeah. You're kidding. That's pretty crazy, isn't it? Yeah. Because he was a genius. And he was gay. Two things can be true at once.

Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Hello. I mean, I was going to say, look at us. Don't have that apple next to your bed, Mitch. I'll add to the edge and bucket list. We should all do the Apple dance before we go. No, thanks.

I don't even know what it is. No, they're all right. I've just heard people refer to it. Is it some Charlie XCX shit? Yeah. Brat. Brat. Brat.

Brat, yeah. Brat. Brat. The album is growing on me. You almost sound ashamed to admit it. You've been so steadfast in not listening. I think the apple's rotten right to the core. Right to the core. Dear, oh dear. What's going on? Well, we've quit. So we know we don't have to say anything.

Here's a hypothetical for you. Say, for example, we go viral from something that surely I've said. What happens if we get 10 million views on this podcast? Like, listens on this podcast? What do you mean, what happens? Will we stay on or do we leave it? I think that's a bit drastic. What if Carnival Cruise Line go, we want to sponsor you for a decade? Oh, then absolutely, we have to continue.

I want to go on a cruise. I don't know what would happen in that situation. Oh, we'll have to wait. Because you could also view that as going out with a bang. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Because then what if we fucking stay on? Because we're like, wow, we've had one 10 million view video and then everything thereafter is just like 200.

That's just embarrassing. It is embarrassing. Yeah, that's true. We're like, the public have spoken. It must stay. And then they're like, no. It was just one good video. Everything else after that is dog shit. Yeah, it's hard, isn't it?

Yeah. All right. Sorry. I'm like an ex in the middle of a breakup. But what if we went to therapy? What if I did let you peg me? Smart. Smart.

What? The Xbox. Yeah. You're like a child. It's real, baby. I thought it was all fake. No. I've downloaded Crash Bandicoot.

Turns out it's a lot harder than I remember. Yeah, it's tough. I'm like, I was really good at this as a kid. Why am I fucking it up as an adult? It's hard. Yeah. What other games do you have? Someone messaged us and said, hi, Mitch's and girl.

I think you would love Goat Simulator 3. Oh, no. What? Are you a goat? No, that one's got a very short shelf life in terms of like 10 minutes. Wait, so you're a goat? Yeah, and you just like headbutt people and knock shit over, cause a bit of carnage.

It gets very boring quickly. How did Goat Simulator get so popular it got a third iteration? Do you know what game actually fucks? Because I can't remember off the top of my head all of the games I've got. I've had to buy one of the external hard drives to fit more. Yeah, that happens. That's a sign. Yeah.

It's like a Disney Pixar one called Rush. Oh. You're at Disneyland and you can go to the different exhibits. There's like the Finding Dory one, the Toy Story one, the Cars one, the Up one, the Incredibles one, and each one has its own little games. It's multiplayer, which is good. You just like race as fish. Oh, that's great.

The Cars, you race as cars. The Incredibles, you race as superheroes. It's kind of the same game, different characters, but it's really good. And Sean reckons that I play kids games. I disagree. No, that's not kids. I fucking slayed that Toy Story game.

Yeah. I made a really bad mistake what i hit a man with my car seat and he i'm joking what i'm joking i wanted to play tiny townscaper tiny scaper it's this game where you can build castles it's a whole thing and it's big on tiktok and they said you need to download steam to play it steam's like a program where you can play heaps of games. So I downloaded Steam for free, created a fucking account. On what? The PlayStation?

On my MacBook, on my computer. Then I'd purchased this game for $19, then downloaded it, and then I went to open it. It said Windows only. Oh, that sucks. And I paid for it. That sucks. You bet your ass that I went on the fucking Microsoft website,

Toot Sweden, asked for a refund on my VIP Roblox. Did you? I'm not playing it on the Xbox ever again. Again, it's a laptop job. Did you get a refund? It's pending. It could take three to five years. Because you made the mistake.

Well, no, because I bought the VIP thinking that would make the gameplay experience somehow better. But it's literally a computer game on an Xbox. It's impossible. You can't just use the mouse and click X. You have to finger that fucking arrow button on the bloody Xbox controller for days. What? And in all that time, everyone else is already dressed and I haven't even put skin on because

it's 10 times slower on the Xbox. Dressed to impress, it's given me severe anxiety. I have to put eyelashes on and nails and shoes. Yeah. It's hard. I did come second in one of them i was pretty proud of that do you have a photo of it because i came first no i don't even know what this is so jenna it's literally like you play live in real time with other people correct and

you're given a theme one of them was like just broke up and then you're in like a closet and you dress up to that theme and then there's a runway at the end and everyone playing rates what the outfits look like and like out of five. So you're playing against real people. Real people. And there's a lot of like dirty play in the fucking Dress To Impress community. Some people like band together and vote five stars

even though it's putrid the outfit. Totally, yeah. And do you realise, Mitch, there's a chat? Yeah, I didn't realise that until I used the laptop version. The Xbox doesn't even have a fucking chat. Yeah. What do people chat about? If the theme's Beauty and the Beast, they'll be like,

I am Belle or I am Beast. Yeah. Slay. If you have to explain the concept. Totally. Yeah. What do we land on? What percent?

We hope this podcast fits with two. Are we sticking with two? We're sticking with two. Why don't we just try 2.5 and if it doesn't feel right. We did try 2.5. Yeah. So like 2.5 is sticking with tradition. Like we up the percentage every birthday we have.

Correct. But 2% just rolls off the tongue because that's been what we've said for a long time. Let's practice 2.5. We hope this podcast makes you feel at least 2.5% better today. That's all. So we do. I like it because it feels different. And now we're in our terminal season.

Yeah. We can. Stage four. Stage four, of course. We've tried holistic. Mitch and I went to therapy, didn't we? You were saying? So we do.

Okay, we'll leave it up to the idiots Yeah it's your call We hope this podcast Makes you feel at least 2% better today That's all Just 2% So we do So we do

Which one do we do? 2.5 or 2? Up to you Now don't forget I'm with Idiot Merch Up to you Still available Go and purchase while you can

That'll be a relic real soon Because I'm about to blow up. And get a fucking rash shirt and your whole mug collection. Yeah, get them all. Thank you for listening, idiots. We love you so much and we will see you all very soon in a couple days. Chat to you soon. Bye-bye.

See ya. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app