Is It Just Me? - #244: Why I Oughta with Nat Penfold

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

A fan favourite, Nat Penfold, returns!    In this episode: Do all ovations have to be standing? (06:07) Realistic cakes are getting out of hand (08:54) Morning sex - yeah or nah? (13:57) Lonely pilates beds (21:26) What ever happened to “Why I Oughta”? (26:14) Churi’s party trick (32:49) Nat’s parting message for us (37:33) Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (40:17)   Merch still available! coupleofmitches.com.au 🛍️   Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271 Hit us up: @coupleofmitches Send us a text: 0422 948 202See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hello, you. Hello, you. Go! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. In high school, I thought compulsory meant you had a choice, so my year advisor, Mrs Moyman, went,

oh, no, Mitch Math is compulsory. I went, fantastic! I'll do two courses of drama. Now here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, you. Hello, you. Our bucket list is well and truly being ticked today. I know, another thing ticked off.

The bloody idiots have been demanding Miss Nat Penfold. They have. She's here, idiots. Welcome back, Nat. Hello! It's been like fucking two years. All right, once we're here. I thought I'd come in really hot, just so everyone knows what to expect.

I didn't realise it had been that long, because last time you were here, we literally were calling you Nat from The Edge. The Edge doesn't even exist anymore. No, it doesn't. Some other shitter. I listened back, and I thought that's because you were on The Edge. I thought you were mentally unstable. That's still apparent.

Yes. But no, now I work for KISS for the Kyle and Jackie O Show. What's your role? Executive producer. Yes! Moving up in the world. Oh, my God. How do you feel, Pricekeeper Jenna, because Nat's your nemesis?

I'm so unhappy right now. I've never seen a stiffer neck. She refuses to look over at me. Why are you here? Because we're giving the people what they want. No, they don't want you. They actually do. No, they don't.

Sorry to say, Jenna. They do. By popular demand, they wanted Nat Penfold. And such a stark contrast to Jessica Rowe, who is just like niceness personified. Was she the other person that everyone requested? I think Mitch really wanted her. Mitch's mum begged us for her. I saw that.

That was so nice. Maybe Jane would have the same reaction to meeting you. I don't know. No, of course not. Well, Michelle Turi is a big Nat Penfold fan. Come on in. Come on out. I love Michelle. What is a big Nat Penfold fan. Come on in. Come on out. I love Michelle.

What's your dad's name? I love him. Mark. I love Mark. He loves you. And Mark flirt like crazy when they see each other in Cronulla. I saw him once in Cronulla in the shortest of bike shorts and I said, Mark. And he just thought I was trying to crack on to him.

And I was like, no, I mean, nice legs, but we're just trying to get pizza here. But yeah, no, I love Mitch's whole fam, but I'd love to meet Jane. See her a lot on the socials. She's beautiful. And the dad. What are your parents like? My parents are cool. I mean.

I've met Nat's parents and they're lovely. Your dad, Nat's dad and myself were boxing partners for a brief period of time. Yeah. Yeah. And they just flick sweat all over each other. Nat and I are friends pre-working here. We've known each other a long, we went to the same school. So we know each other very well. That's not sweat all over each other. Nat and I are friends pre-working here. We've known each other a long time. We went to the same school, so we know each other very well.

That's not how we know each other. You're older than me, much older than me. Excuse you. You were my senior leader when I was in creche. Nat weaned me off the butt butt and taught me how to spell. Got her into the teeth. It smells. So what are we doing, Mitchell?

Is Nat just going to be here and we're just going to, what, bully Jenna and have some giggles? Pretty much, yeah. She's got an edge, I assume. Yes, I do. Jenna, have you got an edge that just going to be here and we're just going to, what, bully Jenna and have some giggles? Pretty much, yeah. She's got an itch in my assume. Yes, I do. Jenna, have you got an itch that just me too? We'll get to you. Whatever. God, drop the attitude, please.

No one likes a sassy bitch. Just smile, sweetheart. It's like you, yeah. The tension between you two, where does this date back to? I actually have no idea how it started. Jenna just decided she didn't like me in the early days. Yeah. I can just sense a person as soon as I see

them. Yeah, like a person's there. You just sense a person. Jenna, that's called sight. I can just sense a person as soon as I see them. Well fucking done. Why don't you shut up? This isn't even yours. Do you have a Mona Nat? No, I do. Do you have rash shirts? No, I do.

Nobody wants a rash shirt. Everybody wants rash shirts. That was another thing that was demanded yeah the rash shirt yeah along with nat pen fall back on the one question your fans now yeah yeah you know i want to share like one of my favorite nat moments from recently because she's now working at kiss as we said and when kyle and jackie launched into melbourne they did like a go around and introduce yourself hi i'm kyle hi i'm jackie all the team they were sharing a fun fact about them and hers was, hi, I'm Nat and I can vape through my moot. I was like, that's our girl.

That's our girl. So proud of you. I know. And I just, I thought I have to come into Melbourne with a bang and I knew I could do it and I'd been holding onto it for months. And then I'm like, this is the perfect moment to bring it out. So then we did a whole press conference on the show about it. People were calling in, asking questions.

Everyone's fascinated by it. What were the questions? Oh, can it blow smoke rings? Can I taste the flavor down there? Can my vagina have its own set of miniature lungs? And the answer is yes. Yeah, of course. Lungs.

But no, it's something I did once when I was very drunk. And I just thought, I'm going to see if this can happen. Because in Bangkok, they do it all the time with cigarettes. Do they? Yeah. Have you ever been to a sex show? I have, actually. I have, too.

It was very confronting. It was shocking. None of them looked like they were enjoying it. No, and that's the thing that got me. I was kind of like, oh, cool. She pulled a live bird out of her vagina. What? A real bird?

It was hardcore. Was it a finch or a cockatoo? I'm not sure. It was quite small A real bird? It was hardcore. Was it a finch or a cockatoo? I'm not sure. It was quite small. A sparrow, I believe. But then she got to the point where a guy started walking on stage and he had a raging hard-on from the moment he walked out. And I was like, that's Viagra'd up.

And he just goes straight in. And I was just like, okay, this has become way too much for me. And I'm quite brazen. You are. So for me to say that, and I just got up and walked walked out and I just felt sad for the remainder of my trip. Yeah, they're dead behind the eyes. I saw something in Amsterdam and it was frightening. Yeah, Jenna, do you remember our Contiki?

We went and saw one and they were just like, it was probably their eighth show that week and they were just not loving themselves in that moment. Imagine working a sex show. Yeah, she'll pork me, I guess. Imagine doing a sex show matinee. Like at least if it's at night, it's like, well, the sun's down. I'm kind of in the mood to get boned.

But like at midday? Yeah. With an elderly audience? People rustling Maltesers and drop tops in the crowd? With a heart-or-egg dick? That'd be shocking. That actually is very close to my idjim today. Is it?

Is it just? Want to give us a clue? Well, the daytime thing. And the penis thing. How much do I give away? All right, Blake Lively. That's the whole thing. I've given away the whole thing.

Should you and I kick things off? We should, we should. But if it's your first time listening, welcome. Every show we start the same with an is it just me, something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's. I don't know Nat's.

Jenna's doing one as well. I know bits and pieces. It's like playing fucking Jenga. Pull it out. Do you want to go first, Mitchell? Sure. Yeah, kick things off. Go for it.

All right. Is it just me or? Should we be able to do ovations in other ways than just standing? Well, I thought it was a standing ovation. What, like a laying ovation? Yes, a horizontal ovation. Well, you wouldn't be lying down at the theatre now, would you? Well, if you're in gold class.

Yeah, true. True. But what other ovations? Let's go back. Yeah. Who stands and down at the theatre now, would you? Well, if you're in gold class. Yeah, true. True. But what other ovations? Let's go back. Who stands and claps in the theatre? Oh, I do. Yeah. On an opening night.

Oh, like at a premiere or something. Maybe. You're speaking of theatre. Yeah. I'm talking about movie cinema. Movie theatre. Yeah. They really should have some sort of banana lounge option at the theatre theatre, like

a musical theatre. Yeah. I'd love to give a horizontal ovation. Or what about a spinning ovation? You're just like, wow. Oh, I would love that. I'm twirling on my chair for everyone that can't see. What's the definition of ovation? A sustained and enthusiastic show of appreciation.

You don't need to be standing to do that. No, but you also then don't need to be clapping, do you? What do you just do with your eyes? True. Well, the example it gives here actually says the performance received a thundering ovation. How can you thunder an ovation? What about when

you had two fucked feet, Nat, and you had two moon boots? You could have done a hobbling ovation. That's very true. A limping ovation. Yeah, I broke both my feet at once. That was a fucking time, wasn't it? And then you got to make it about me. You broke both feet at once. So you had two moon boots on.

No. So one broke and then two weeks later I broke the other one. So even worse. I was stupid twice. And then didn't you get COVID? Yes. Oh, and rewind. Before the broken feet, I got dumped.

I thought I was getting proposed to. I got dumped. So you got broken feet and broken up with. Wow. What a fucking time. I know. When was that? A couple of months ago?

Break up June, broken foot July, other broken foot July, COVID August. What a shit winter. What an awful winter. But then October, you got crowned executive producer. That's true. Kyle and Jackie O. Now you're on the Is It Just Me podcast in its final run. We are the light at the end of the tunnel. That's true. Kyle and Jackie O, now you're on the Is It Just Me podcast in its final run. We are the light at the end of the tunnel.

That's true. Let's all give Nat a jumping ovation. Okay. Nice to see you doing well. Jenna. Jenna's not doing it. Jenna didn't jump. Don't be such a negative bitch.

Okay. That is very uncomfortable to look at. How forth. You know when you scroll TikTok and you get so far, you get to those young women riding horses, but they're not real horses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what that to look at. How forced. You know when you scroll TikTok and you get so far, you get to those young women riding horses, but they're not real horses? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what that just looked like. A galloping ovation.

Yeah. Galloping ovation. That's possible. And I'm with you, Mitchell. I think ovations should just be neutral. Ovation neutral. Because there's nothing in the fucking definition of the word that says it needs to be standing.

Yeah. I'm ovating right now. You can't tell, but I am. You're internally ovating. Mm. Mm. All right. Well, shall I do my age?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Let's go. Go, Bradley. Is it just me or? A realistic cake's getting out of hand.

Oh. Oh. Oh, my God. It's all over my TikTok. Everywhere. And do you think they're going to sever a hand off? And you're like, oh, chocolate mud. I saw a gender reveal and there was a little baby infant sleeping like a cherub.

It's a massacre. I went, what a gorgeous sort of, oh! And then they sliced the baby's head in half and it was pink. And they went, yeah! I've seen that with a cat. Why are you celebrating decapitation? You just killed that cat. I saw the cat one.

Yeah, that freaked me the fuck out. Yeah, I saw one of Mudang the Baby Hippo. And I'm like, what a gorgeous... There's a whole Netflix series about it called Is It Just Cake? Oh, wait. No, that's not a joke. Will it cake? With a couple of titters.

Is it cake? No, it's is it cake or no? I think either of... That is true. Oh, God. Why am I putting... Jismin, you are coming out of the dark period of your life. You're having a stroke. Let me had a stroke. Oh, God. Why am I putting it on? Just when you were coming out of the dark period of your life, you're having a stroke.

Let me have a moment. We'll wait. Is It Cake is the name of the show. Is it? Yeah. And it's hosted by a guy that was on SNL. It's quite funny. Interesting.

Oh, I just brushed past it then. So interesting, I don't want to stop down on it. Interesting. No, but I just think we need like a warning because they're so realistic these days that I need to know if it's not a human piece. You're right. Like a hand, I've seen a brain cake and it looks so realistic.

Who is doing this? It's ridiculous. It's also driving the price of cake up because now if you just want a simple birthday cake, they're fucking $350. Oh, totally. Have you noticed? Every bitch that I went to school with suddenly has a cake company. I went to school with Beck.

Baked by Beck. Good for you. Cooked by Karen. Okay, well, there's a C and a K issue there, but go for it. I really fucking admire what they can do with the cakes, but I could never be a baker and apply myself to being good at it because I would hate going to all that effort making it look beautiful only for it to be eaten.

Yeah. I'd be like, nah, frame it or something. I want to keep it. You know what they're doing now for weddings? You can order a full wedding cake, but it's faux. It's 95% fake. Yeah, and then the top tier you cut through. Yeah, or I've got a friend who's getting married,

and they're doing one slice. So when they cut the cake, there's like little icing lines. It's like a dot to dot. And they just cut that slice, and there's one piece of cake. But when's the last wedding you went to where anyone even fucking wants the cake? Oh, I'm hovering around that ball. I want the cake. And what's that hard icing? Fondant. I actually love fondant? Oh, I'm hovering around that board. I want the cake. And what's that hard icing?

Fondant. I actually love fondant. Oh, me too. I fucking love it. Really? Yes. It's so good. One time when I was really stoned, I literally went to the supermarket and bought fondant

and ate it like a muesli bar. Are we talking about the same icing? Yeah. Fondant. It's like marzipan. Marzipan. And why is the inside of the cake always that orangey tinged brown? What is that cake?

I think it's caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Cakes by caramel. It's not the caramel, I brown. What is that cake? I think it's caramel. Caramel. That's not the caramel I know. What's that caramel? You know what my friend did at her wedding recently, my friend Katie? Tell me. She's an idiot.

Hi, Katie. She doesn't listen to the show. She's an idiot. She's an absolute fuckhead. Hello. She's never heard of the show. She's a fucking skank. No, when she got married, she didn't have a wedding cake.

She just brought out a bunch of slices. It was the best idea because you could just have a little bit of slice, like a vanilla or a caramel or something. And I said to her, that's actually genius. And she goes, I didn't plan it that way. I just forgot to order the cake. Smart. Like she inquired, got the price, and then said, sounds good,

but forgot to lock it in properly. Yeah. She just went to Costco. Fuck, get some slice. And it was perfect. Who's behind Cake's PR? Because Cake has had a comeback. Cake is good at the moment. like lock it in properly. Yeah. And so she's like, fuck, get some slime. And it was perfect. Who's behind Cake's PR? Because Cake has had a comeback.

Cake is good at the moment. Like Cake, remember Cake was, it was big when we were all kids and then it died off. I've always loved Cake. What do you mean? I'm acting like it's a fashion trend. It's back with the cargo pants. It is. Cake is back.

It was brownies and cookies and now everyone's like, I want a cake and they want the tiered cakes. I think it's the Instagram thing. Everyone wants a photo of their love heart cake with that icing on the outside that says like 30 bitch on the front. With the cherries on the corners. 100%. It never went out of fashion though.

I've always loved cake, cookies, all of it. Yeah, we can tell. But you know, we've gotten old. We've gotten old because usually we would pig out on cake on pig week, for example. But now if I bring a birthday cake in here, we have like a sliver and I go, oh, I've got a headache. I know. Isn't that shit? But also I'm at an age where I, we have like a sliver and I go, oh, I've got a headache. I know. Isn't that shit?

But also I'm at an age where I can't do full sugar things anymore. I can't do full sugar Coke. My brain explodes. Yeah. Can't do it. Can't do full cream milk anymore. Shit myself. Oh yeah, nah.

That one's no good. So it's like my body's rejecting anything that's pure. Except cocaine. Well. I was going to say. I'll send you with the radio awards. Okay. Is it just me?

You can follow the show online. Just search Couple of Mitches. If you don't, you're a dickhead. Okie doke. It's Battle of the Alpha Female right now. Who wants to go first? Jenna? Nat?

Scissors, paper, rock? Is that fair? Jelly Wrestle. Who's idjim is going to go first? I can't be fucked with her. Just you go. I don't care. No, you go.

Just go. See, the chemistry with her. Just you go. I don't care. No, you go. Just go. See, the chemistry is palpable between you two. You guys actually do. There's an uncanny kind of connection between you two, like the Menendez brothers. Like, you could kiss or kill someone, you know? No. No? No.

What have we decided? She's going. I'm going. Oh, okay. Bradley's behind you. Ask him to count you in. going. Oh, okay. Bradley's behind you. Ask him to count you in. Count me in, Bradley. Nicer than that.

My God, use your manners. Bradley, would you count me in, please? Is it just me or... Is daytime sex the worst thing in the world? I had this quite recently. I'd already opened the blinds for the day because, you know, you get up and you're like, let's let the light in, like feel the weekend vibes.

And then like it happened obviously. Yeah. And then so the sun's shining right on my dot hole. You can't just pop the blinds down. You know what? It's always brown when there's sun. No, I don't want to be that chick that stands up and goes, sorry, I've just got to close these.

You ruin the moment, right? So not only is there sun blaring on my ass, but then the morning breath. Oh, yeah. chick that stands up and goes sorry i've just got to close these you ruin the moment right so not only is their sun blaring on my ass but then the morning breath oh yeah oh so it was morning yeah yeah yeah so he stayed the night yes and then there was morning sex which i wasn't prepared for so i hadn't gone to the bathroom brush my hair and brush my teeth and things like that so yeah my neck was cocked so far to the left the entire time. But it's like his breath, my breath, the sun, the smell. Yeah, I can't do the mornings because of the breath.

Not even his, mine. I wouldn't do it to him. Yeah, no. But also, even when you're in a relationship, there's no fun in morning sex. I agree. And men seem to, I don't know if you guys are, but men seem to be their horniest in the morning. Yeah, because a lot of us wake up erect. Why?

But that's not even necessarily as a result of horniness. That's just a bodily thing. You might not actually have an edge. You might have to use it. I wake up, I am quite horny in the mornings, I'll be honest with you. But in a gay relationship, you can't really get so comfortable. Because you've got to prep it. Well, also, you wake up in the morning, you have a sip of coffee, and all of a sudden

you're on the toot. You don't want to be putting something up there in the morning. So night sex is better. Afternoon sex, if you can prepare, it's easier. I was going to say, because you said daytime. I don't mind a matinee, like a 1pm on Woods, but yeah, no. Matinee. Yes, correct.

Matinee, I'm fine with. First thing in the morning, when you're half woken up, and their eyes are still closed and they almost pretend they're asleep. I'm like, why? Why is it an act we do? Sorry? Can I fucking? Like, you know what I mean? You're clearly awake.

You're thrusting at a million miles a fucking minute. So, yeah, that's my idiom is that morning sex, got to go. You're not rushing back to it? No, like, I mean, I'll do it. I'm not going to say no to it. But even like night sex, I'm lights off. Maybe a dim bedside lamp at best. Or the light of a TV.

I agree. My cell and night lamp's doing heavy lifting when I get it on. It's barely lit. It's like a little firefly in the sky. But it's just better that way. You feel like you can be free. You know what I mean? Even in a relationship, you can do weird shit.

Yeah, I agree. The gays definitely can't be spontaneous of a morning, like you said. How much goes into it? Excuse my ignorance. Well, it depends how much fiber I've had that day. Oh, right. But it also depends how finicky you are, right? Like some people don't need any prep.

Some people do need prep. Yeah, that's true. But if you want to shower and you want to splash some water on there. Yeah, but it makes me think like certain women do it that way too, right? But they're not educated on how to prep it. Yeah. So that would just be like a fucking mess down there. Well, douching, if we want to go straight to it.

I mean, I took the words out of your mouth, Jenna. I could tell you were about to go there. She's been in the mic going, doot, doot, doot, for five minutes. Morse code World War II. The Nazis are coming. Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, douching. You can douche, but then also that's actually quite unhealthy

for your internal bowels. It throws out the pH balance. If you do it too much or too often, yes. Yeah, with water, you can get douche kits. It's like you're making sea monkeys down there. It's like one sachet, two sachets. You don't want to overdo it, basically. Yeah, but especially in a long-term relationship,

this is my experience, douching kills the vibe. If you're at a hotel or if you're on a holiday and you've had a great day and you go, you're kissing, you're grabbing crotches and groins and you're like so hot, but then you go, all right, 20-minute shower, you know? See, that's the thing. If I'm picking up on the vibe that, ooh, we might be in the mood today,

I would never say, I'm going to go douche because that ruins the spontaneity. Hey, babe, don't bother me. I'm douching. Right, I've douched. Let's go. I would never do that. But going to go douche because that ruins the spontaneity. Hey, babe, don't bother me. I'm douching. Right, I've douched. Let's go. I would never do that. But it's an unspoken word. You know you're doing it.

No, what I do. But you never say like, babe, don't come in. I'm douching. Babe, where's my douche? No, I almost do it like a code. I'll just be like, I might have a shower. Oh, Mitchell, those eyes. I think I'd rather I'm going to douche my puss.

No, but it's like, I'm going to shower, and it's kind of like, Roger that, Roger that. Oh, my God. Right. But I always, like, have a shower anyway. I like to be clean. I once hooked up with this man, and he wanted me to refer to it as a mussy. Man pussy.

No, it's a bussy. We all know that. I don't even like bussy. That's nasty. I don't like bussy. Put it in my puss. Anyway, do you want to fuck my boss? Pardon me?

Boss in boots. Me butt naked in a pair of boots. Octobussy. James Bond. No, he got it. If James Bond was gay, octobussy. You know how he's got all the gadgets and they light on the table? One, two, three, four.

Thank you, Jeeves. James Bond is our good to pussy. Prepare my douche. There will be brown. For God's sake. Jesus Christ. Sorry. I do work on the Colin Jekyll show.

Yeah. Smuts within me. We could tell. She was crying. All right, so morning sex. Yeah. What about you, Jenna? Yeah.

Are you in a mood for a morning rude ever now? No. Weren't you a massive slut when you went on Kentucky that one time? Oh, God. Yeah, we've already discussed that. I don't think that was ever in the morning. Circling back. No morning.

Maybe a thrilling time it was, but where we were now. That's a loophole. No morning. No. How often are we all where we were now. Morning. No morning. How often are we all having sex per week? Let's all be real and candid here. But I'm not in a relationship and you two are. Are you? No. Wouldn't know a thing about your life. I wouldn't tell you. Okay, do in relo and then out of

relo. Okay, depends on the stage of the relo that I was in, but in good stage of the relo, still only twice a week max and probably once. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that. It ebbs and flows a bit, but at least once, but sometimes more. It also depends on what you do for work.

Like how early you wake up, how early you go to bed, how late you get home. True. That's true. You work mornings, which is hard because you'd be prime at like 1, 2, 3 in the afternoon, right? Yes, and then by the time he'd get home, I'm done. See, and I work nights, so then I'm kind of the opposite.

You get home, you're roaring. Yeah. You're barred up. Totally. Babe, wake up. Yeah. Grab the douche. Yeah, gotcha.

Interesting. So wait, what's your expectation? My expectation? What's your answer? Are we negotiating salary? Am I Tracy Grimshaw? I would drive fuck me four times a week. So tell me, Mitch. Well, because it's stillshaw? I would drive fuck me four times a week. So tell me, Mitch.

Well, because it's still, you know, fresh. Like three times a week, sometimes more, four, like on a great week. Our record is seven. That's my highest. As in once per day or sometimes twice in one day? No, multiple in a day. Yeah. No, weekdays.

Isn't that the best stage of a relationship where it's like multiple times a day and you just can't get enough of it? That doesn't fucking last. Some people claim years down the track. Yeah, we still do it every day. I'm like, who? That's what I mean. Everson Floyd, sometimes he might just be like, actually, we're getting back into it.

Yeah, but it's been a year for me and I'm still like real. We're both very into it. Can you not stroke your microphone like that when you talk about it? Sorry. He's thinking about it right now. I'm really into it. The eggplant mic. Yeah, the old purple mic.

Haven't heard from you, Jenna. Sorry, I haven't been listening. Should we give Jenna a turn? We'll listen to you, we promise. You've got an Is It Just Me, right? Yeah, I do. Okay. Are you ready to go?

Yeah, I'm ready. Bradley. Is it just me? Or... Just me. Oh. Do you feel sorry for the empty reformer bed in Pilates that isn't used? Fucking hell. Yeah. I really feel sorry. Usually, so in my classes, it's 14 people.

If there's 13 and there's one just by itself not being used, I just feel awful for it. I think just you because I prefer it if the class is slightly empty because sometimes if there's someone right next to you on a reformer bed and you start doing the fucking slutty legs spinning around, you kick each other. Oh, yes. And so I'd rather have an empty one next to me. No, she feels sorry for the bed itself, like it's got feelings.

Yeah, but I look at that bed that's empty next to me and I go, thank fuck you're alone. Do you guys have the same bed that you use every time? No. I alternate between two, yeah. Yeah. But also I'm sure the empty bed I go, thank fuck, you're alone. Do you guys have the same bed that you use every time? No. I alternate between two, yeah. Yeah. But also I'm sure the empty bed is like, thank God I don't have a sweaty ass on me for an hour.

You know what I mean? But at the same time it would be like, oh, what have I done wrong? Yeah, I think that's probably coming from within. I'm with you, Mitchell, when I'm next to someone and- Are you still doing the Pilates, by the way? Yeah, yeah, I'm still doing the Pilates, yeah. Wait, is yours Reforma or just- Reforma, yeah.

Oh. In life. It's a cool thing. Yeah. I lay on my back and then there's always this woman next to me who lies on her back. And you know at the end when they stretch your legs right out? Yeah, that's what I mean. You're doing a Y.

We both have to choreograph our movements without speaking. Yes. It's like telepathy. I'm like, you go, I go, you go, I'll go. And we're kind of doing loop-de-loops with our legs. And then the moment we connect, it's actually quite beautiful. For you? Or have you asked her how she feels about it?

I don't think she's been touching a lot. I think she likes it. I feel like there's an unwritten rule, though. Like, if you're going into just a normal gym, right, and there's one- Are you not a Pilates girl? I'm not a gym girl. Oh, okay. I could be fucked.

So you go into the gym, all the treadmills are free, you're on one, and then they go to the one next to you. Oh, no, no, no. Criminal. That's unacceptable. You can't do that. No, that's disgusting. Same as in a car park. All the spots are empty, you park in one, the person comes next to you.

Why? I agree. It's just one of those things where there's no rule against it, but when they do it, I'm like, fuck you. And so if I were to walk into a reformer class, Jenna, and there's one empty bed, just one, I'd almost feel bad. I'm like, oh God, these people next to me will probably

really looking forward to having a bit of room. Well, I would feel satisfied that that bed was being used. Maybe you're more empathetic than me. For objects. Let's remember that. Is anyone else's empathy at an all-time high? I've been crying on TikTok lately. Really? Just seeing people going through things. I've been crying on TikTok lately. Really? Just seeing people

going through things. I saw this one TikTok of some lady at a fete. Like, I'm selling my plushies. Come and buy them. And then she's like four-hour update. I've sold one and it was to my sister. And I cried. I thought she's made these plushies. She's at a store and no one's bought them. Something in me when I see all those videos thinks you're lying for attention.

Oh. Yeah, but I'm the opposite. It's pretty clever if they are. Well, yeah. They're swindling you because they want you to feel sorry for them. See, I'm a chump. I'm not an empath. I'm an idiot. I'm going to see if this like makes you sort of tear up or just a bit empathetic because remember that thing I got you from a fate?

Yes. I remember this. The pride markets in Brisbane, like their fair day. The dick. And you were in like a squish mellow phase. And so I got you this plush dick that was rainbow. But when I said, I'll have that, she goes, sorry, that's the last one. But I can do it on the website.

And I explained to her, no, no, I need this for my co-host birthday. She goes, I'll go home as soon as I've bumped out of this fair. Make one and express post. And I said, thank you so much. That'd be great. After all that effort, she stuck a neck out for you and you fucking got to stomp that neck. You gave it to your dog.

It became a dog toy. Listen, she clearly had a sweat problem because that dick came to me, drip and went. And my dog Hamish, like a dog to a bone, he grabbed it and he thrashed that cock. And the thing is, is that dogs always know, like you try and give them something that's not a dog toy and they don't take it. They know when it's a dog toy. And if he went to that toy I'm sorry, that was a dog cock.

Nice note to end on. Are we finishing already? I think we're done, yeah. Nat gave me the, you know, working radio I did the finger, the wrap up. She has been here since the crack of dawn. I have. I've been here for almost 12 hours. I actually have as well. No one cares about you. That's an EP.

I'm going to make the executive decision to turn your. That's an EP. That's an EP. Yeah. I'm going to make the executive decision to turn your microphone off in a minute. Nat was my producer. Yeah. Do you think that getting the Kyle and Jackie O job, was it all influenced by your time working with me? You got me a foot in the door, Del. Thanks.

Well, look, I'd say the seven years I did at the Edge might have contributed. Yeah. Yeah. People love that station. But when I produced you, you did get a radio award. Well, look, I'd say the seven years I did at the Edge might have contributed. Yeah, yeah. People love that station. But when I produced you, you did get a radio award. At the radio awards, which I was nominated didn't win, that went up to my producer, Grace, and was like, you lost your award. And then Grace was like, oh, we did, yeah.

He went, well, when I produced Mitch, he won. I did. Lift your game. I think you slapped her. Did I? Funnily, you went. Just to make it. You warmed up your hands first.

Just to make a lot of contact. Why I order. Yeah, you. Why I order. Why I order. Isn't it just me on the fly? Do we know why I order enough? Why I order.

You know what's funny? What's that from again? I don't know, but whenever it happens in movies. Oh, it was the Lion King. Why I order. Let me at him. Let me at him. Yeah, but I think it's just like cultural.

But also, no one ever moves when they're like charging up the slab. There's a scene in a movie that I'm thinking of where someone kind of, parent trap, when they're fighting on the little balcony at the camp and she goes, why, why, why. What balcony? Remind me, remind me. So they're in their school camp and they're arguing on their like, the front porch of the thing. And one of them insults the other twin and they're still fighting and she goes, why, why, why. Yeah, but Bugs Bunny's done it to a fucking, I don't know, carrot. And he's like, why, why, why.

Charges his fist. And they never actually launch. No, they just like, hold me back, hold me back. Imagine if you were at a train station, middle of the night, 3am, two little teens come up, Esha's in Nike TNs. You go, shit, they're going to shank me. And they come up and they go, oh, I got it. It's becoming one of those things where the more you say the word,

it doesn't sound like a real word. Why I order. Yeah. When you first said it, I thought, why I order. You know from Geordie Shore, why I? No. Why I? Thank you.

Jenna. Oh, you bothered. Oh, people. Jenna. Jenna paid Nat Credence. We had a moment. Write this down. Where were you when it happened?

Of course you like Geordie Shore. It reminds you of the Contiki days. It gets you going. Top deck. No talk. Top deck. Top deck, yeah. Top deck.

Give me mine. Oh, Mitch. Just joking. Now, Nat, any questions you'd like to ask about the gay world before you go? Well, I've already asked extensively about anal play. Why do I keep talking like Tracy Grimshaw? Anal play. Anal play. Yeah talking like Tracy Grimshaw? Anal play? Anal play.

Yeah, what else can I ask? Why are you stroking your upper teeth as you are actually? I have really sore nipples today, actually. That's not where your nips are. That's your shoulder. They're very perky. That's because you said that. That's where I want them to be.

They're down at my fucking knees. You had a birth condition where your nipples were just in your clavicle? Sorry. Look at this. I feel like I do. Look at that. Oh, knees. You had a birth condition where your nipples were just in your clavicle? Sorry. Look at this. I feel like I do. Look at that. Oh, yeah. Is that a nip?

No, it looks like one, though. I went to the doctor about this. It's like a weird bump on my collarbone. And he said nothing to worry about because I was like, cancer. But no, it's just a weird bone thing. And it wasn't always there. Well, I was quite fat, so I never saw it. Once I could see my collarbones, I was like, what is that?

Do you have any other weird body things? It's private. Oh. Sounds like a bent dick to me. Crooked cock, if ever I've had one. The LCC. I've been circumcised twice. What?

I don't think I've ever revealed that on this show. There's an idiom exclusive. And is it just malusive? Why did you have to get it done twice? Because they're too much. The doctor. Like over his shoulder. Just his baby. Like a hanky out of a magician's sleeve.

Like a tapeworm in one of those colonic videos. It's always long. I'm like, what is this? You see the bottom. TikTok goes for ten minutes. You're like, ow. When someone's got nose surgery and they don't take the packing out, it goes for months. But I swear they purposely pretend they can't grab it. And I'm hooked.

I'm watching it like, get that fucker out. Yeah, that parasite. Back to your foreskin. How long is it? My botched foreskin. Oh, I don't have a foreskin anymore. It's gone. Your dual circumcision.

Why? Did your mum keep it? Yes, my mum's got it in a fisherman's friend's tin in the garage. Actually? Yeah, my mum's got my foreskin. I've told you this. We've done this on air. But why did you have to get it twice? Oh, because the doctor botched it the first time. How? He did it on an angle and then as it healed, I had like a little hump of foreskin. So I had to go in and cut that off. That's revolting. So I've been circumcised twice. How old were you the first and

second time? 23. No, this was at birth. Like first couple of weeks from being born and then i had to go back a couple weeks later after there was immense swelling oh god i know poor baby mitch i know i know when i was really sick as a baby too with what i knew i was seven eight weeks early remember i almost died yeah i spent the first four months of my life in emergency in hospital in one of those tub things in the, what was it? The incubator. Yeah. Yeah, it was very cute.

Every time mum walks by, she just cries. Or she sees a Nets ambulance. She sees a plastic tub, people just storing stuff. She's like, bitch. Dad's hitting Neapolitan ice cream. Don't do it, Mark. Is it normal to keep the foreskin, by the way? Is that normal to keep it?

Mitchell, no. Wow. Because in the garage, I'm like, surely it's withering away. Yeah. It'd be rotten. It's not rotten. It's kind of petrified. Have you looked at it? I like, surely it's withering away. Yeah. It'd be rotten. It's not rotten. It's kind of petrified. Have you looked at it?

I've touched it. Oh, my God. It's like, you know when you dehydrate fruit? You just say it like a dry banana. You know Hermione when she gets stunned by the piffergriff or whatever it's called? What? The Hufflepuff? She gets stunned and she's.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's petrified. Petrified. No, you know what it is exactly like? Embrace yourselves. You know when you go to a Thai restaurant and they do dried shallot onion on the top of dishes? I knew that was coming.

That is exactly. Don't say coming. Exactly what it's like. Oh, yeah, because I pictured a massive thing, but you're a baby. It would have been tiny. Well, no. Because it also shrivels up. Shouldn't she have frozen it or something or put in a vac seal?

Why is she keeping it? She's not a lab. Shouldn't she have gotten stem cell research done on that thing? How regularly does she look at it? And why? Does she want to look back fondly on that? I don't know. I don't know.

He just coughed on Jenna. He tried to cough off Mike, but he coughed on Jenna. Literally into her lap. No respect for Jenna. And it was quite a wet cough. I don't either. I waited for Jenna's mouth to be open. I've got a cough brew, and this is how it's done.

I mean, you've got a ditch on your face. That sounded like you were stomping a wet cardboard box. Stomping a wet cardboard box? It was. But I didn't do it on your lap, so. Yes, thank you for that. It's called respect.

Jenna's just sitting in a puddle of my spit. Now I prefer Nat over you. Oh, that's a big call. I think it should be the three of us. Before we wrap things up, actually. Hey, we didn't hear about Jenna's weird body. What? Oh, yeah, I can twist my arms.

Oh, yeah, she's shown us his, Nat. It's so fun. Do it. No, do it. Do you want to see? Do you remember Nat on Harry Potter when their limbs could bend? Yes. It's that.

Okay. Okay, you ready? Yeah. I don't want to watch this. Is it that bad? It's really weird. Here we go. Oh, see, isn't that sick?

Yeah, it's kind of gross. But it's not that bad. Unimpressed. Oh, okay. Sorry. Fine then, whatever. Do you go to parties and go, look what I can do? Nah, I used to.

Did you? That's your party trick. Mine's vaping my moot. We're very different people. I can do this trick. Close your eyes. What are you going to do? Just close your eyes.

Are you going to do the doink? Yes. What's the doink? Close your eyes. I'll do a whole theatre of the mind. Ready? Coming. Hey, it's Paul the plumber.

Hi, mate. The tab's in the kitchen in the sink. You can come in. No worries. This sink? in the kitchen in the sink. You can come in. No worries. This sink? Yeah, get up real close. It's got a real problem. All right.

I'm getting up close. Have you never heard that before? That was fantastic. You were shook. So he's literally flicking his chin. You give it a go. Are you whistling? No.

Do it without flicking. What's the noise? No, I actually do it without flicking. What's the noise? I think I can do it. Oh, so it's a whistle. Yeah. And then if I flick my chin. Nah. That's incredible.

Did you ever tell that old wives tale story? Nat, please. Try again. What was your attempt? Nat just throat gargled salt wash. I just uppercutted myself. Oh, my God. That sounds like the Kid Pix animation when you used to click.

Remember on Kid Pix? I remember Kid Pix. And you'd click and be like. J.D., you try. That was worse than mine. Do you remember the last time? And for old time's sake, we should do this, Mitchell. Remember we did sounds? We did an impression of a sound.

We did an impression of sounds, remember? So, like, I would jingle keys and you'd do an impression of it. Something like that. All right, let's do a rogue round. Well, I just did a tap. Okay. And Mitchell did a wet cardboard box being stomped in the gutter. But what was it actually again?

Your foreskin. Him coughing. Oh, no. I've forgotten my stories. Gross. Oh, you're not coping. No, I'm not. All right, I'm going to forgotten my stories. Gross. Oh, you're not coping. No, I'm not. All right, I'm going to give you a sound nap.

You're going to do. Wait, do I close my eyes and guess the sound? No, no, you make a sound. No, you have to do the sound, pick the game. You're the creator. It's like Mr. Monopoly being like, what do I do when I pass go? Okay. Creator of Uno going, when do I say it?

I can't find anything that I can make a sound with to do an impression of that we haven't already done. But you'll have to have the strepsil. Yeah, it's fine. I'll do a Nat. Screwing the lid back on top of a Coke bottle. I have to hear it. No, see, yeah, you do an impression of it already. This is me taking a lozenger out of a packet.

Oh. Okay. Go, Nat. Not bad. I thought so too I thought all the blood rushed to my head I just sat back down really confused Trying to put my headphone back in Put the lozenger in my ear

Fuck's sake Your ear canal's never been as open in your life It's real lubed up now Alright, I'll do one Okay Chewing on the end of a pen Who's doing that? Did you just snap a tooth?

You lost a crown I don't think I can do that one Come on Jenna You can do it Are you Voldemort? Just make a parcel tongue Parcel tongue yeah That's what that was

I'm pretty sure the Chamber of Secrets Just opened somewhere Alright give me one Ginny's still in there. Okay, hang on. I actually don't know what we can do. Oh, okay. Come on, mate.

I'm not Notre Dame-ers. Do it. I'm not the... Go. Terrible. Okay, what about this? Me bonking Jenna in the head with this empty water bottle. What about this?

Me knocking Jenna out. What about me shooting Mitchell Coombs in the pelvis? All right, ready? It's going to be a funny bonk. You're doing this, Mitchell. Don't. No, not hard. I Jenna out. What about me shooting Mitchell Coombs in the pelvis? All right, ready? It's going to be a funny bonk. You're doing this, Mitchell. Don't. No, not hard. I won't.

Jenna, I wouldn't. Little. Ow. Boong. Yeah, that was good. No, but you're going to go boong. Ow. All right.

Sorry. My apologies. Ow. Boom. Ow. You can hit me back. You perfectly captured Jenna's pain. I guess so.

Okay, now this one. Oh. Oh. So Jenna's now hitting Mitch in the head with the bottle. My, my, my. Jenna looks like Ollie Voile, Popeye's weird wife. I won't do it, Tom. Closer to the mic, please.

Just stop charging it. Just do it. Yeah, she's winding it up. At least do it close to the mic. Oh, my gosh. I feel like Wile E. Coyote in Roadrunner. I didn't even get audio of that. Okay, now we're just being abusive, throwing shit at everyone.

I threw that at Nat. We're old pals. Before we go, maybe we should get Nat to record a message that we can play in a sweeper for later on, like a farewell idjim. Hi guys, it's Nat. Just wanted to wish you a happy whatever or some shit. Something we can use later. All right.

And speak about how many times you've been on here. You're our most featured guest. That's true. Am I? Yeah. Officially. How many? Three?

This would be. No, four. This would be the fifth. Too many. You realize when you bring your negative shit in, no one vibes with it and it just kills the convo. No, I reckon this is the fifth. Not celebrity.

You've done so well. Yeah. Thank you so much. Happy to be here. You know, this is real friendship. That's what this is. Yeah. We do love you and the chemistry is real. I can't believe you've done so well. Yeah. Thank you so much. Happy to be here. This is real friendship. That's what this is. Yeah. We do love you and the chemistry is real.

I can't believe you're ending the podcast. I know. It's very sad. Harness that emotion. Do your message, please. Okay. Who am I addressing? Just all of us.

We're playing it as a sweeper or something. We'll play this in the future. Yeah. Hello, Mitch and Mitchell. I'm so sad that you guys are finishing the podcast, but I'm very excited that I'm your most featured guest and that you made it five years. And I always had so much fun, even though I fucking hate Jenna.

But yeah, all the Endurant idiots are going to be very sad to see you go. I'm one of the idiots. So Endurant forever. Is that a thing? Endurant forever. How did you just cough? Endurant forever. Endurant. How did you just cough? Endurant forever. You just lodged your tongue.

That was beautiful. We can use that. That was very well said. Also, I love Nat. And anyone does it when they're telling a speech, when they go off book, they look into the middle of the world to find words. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm thinking, good luck, Mitch.

It's like the script was coming up for me. Teleprompter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, we should get out of here. We should. Let's go. Thanks for listening, everyone. Still chance to leave us a five-star review. It means jack shit, to be honest. But if you haven't left one. No the prompter. All right, Trump. All right, we should get out of here. We should. Let's go. Thanks for listening, everyone.

Still chance to leave us a five-star review. It means jack shit, to be honest. But if you haven't left one. No, it doesn't. Yeah, but not anymore.

Not that we're not, you know, continuing. Can I have free merch? Yeah, you can. You want the I'm an Idiot range? You'd like it. It's funny.

It's for those who know, no, it's not basic sort of level merch. Not the Mitch's was. Oh, YKYK. Yeah. Yes, coupleofmitches.com.au

if you want it. Yeah, so you have to buy merch. Correct. We will see you all in a couple weeks. No. We'll literally want it. Yeah, so you have to buy it. Buy merch, definitely. We will see you all in a couple of weeks. No. We'll literally see you.

We're just taking a hiatus. We'll literally see you on Monday. Imagine if we took a two-week break. Three episodes left. Two-week break. All right, Nat, we love you. Thanks for being here. Love you guys.

And on all socials, at Nat Penfold. Correct. Actually, I just realised that next episode, which comes out on Monday, that's when we're going to see who came second with the merch tally. Oh, is it next episode? So get your sales in now, idiot. Wait, you've got I'm With Idiot and you've got the Taylor Swift range. I already won, but then there was a tied second between Churi and Misfit Oscar.

And what was his? His said Misfit or Chukin. No, Chukin. Yeah. The I'm With Idiot's got to win. Well, you'd think so, but I don't know. That's my fucking logic. We'll find out in the next episode.

I appreciate the support. It's not a vote situation. It's a sale situation. It was weird that he made merch. If you, as the executive producer for Kyle and Jackie O Show, one of the greatest shows in the country, if Kyle was off for a week and someone filled in, would you go, let them make merch? That's a good idea.

Absolutely not. Thank you very much. But that's all right. That's just my point. And I wanted to get someone to back me up. And yet it's sold. Feels like a real bee in your bonnet. Not a bee in my bonnet. Not a bee in my bonnet. a real bee in your bonnet. Not a bee in my bonnet.

Not a bee in my bonnet. Sound like Elvis Presley. Not a bee in my bonnet. Come on, Scylla. Why I gotta. Why I gotta. All right. We'll see you guys in a couple of days.

See ya. Catch you then. Bye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief, our secret segment on the end.

This is where we are meant to go rogue. Have we got a bit more rogueness left in us? Jen is yawning in my face. How rude. Sorry. I'm vaping. We've all given up. We rogue. Have we got a bit more rogueness left, Janice? Janice is yawning in my face. How rude. Sorry. I'm vaping. We've all given up. We have.

I've had a micro sleep. Don't cough on me. I actually coughed into the world. Janice got E. coli on her left. She coughed into the abyss. Just bronchitis on her right. I don't know where to cough, so I just go. And then you all get it eventually.

That's ridiculous. You know how people say that yawns are contagious? Imagine if coughs were. Oh, yuck. Did you catch the cough? Oh, yuck. What about back in COVID and you couldn't even cough? Oh, yeah. You could.

It just was frowned upon. I was a heavy smoker and I was standing in the line for my vaccination like, like trying to hold it in because everyone would think I was going to give them COVID. Remember when we had to- No, just emphysema. Not contagious. Don't worry. We had to wear masks in the workplace.

Yeah, and the police came. What? Yeah, the police came to the building. Yeah, and- Our building. Yeah. They'd pull to a walkthrough and see if everyone was wearing them. Really?

During breakfast, yeah. Shit. Yeah, and you couldn't even leave the house without one of those notes saying you're essential. Oh my God. Remember when you had to check in, you wanted some Seminagiri for lunchtime, you had to get the QR code and scan it and tap on what time you left and then contact tracing and God, what a weird time. Even on the ground, you see some places still have the like, please stand here, please stand here.

And they're socially distanced. And I just really back my crotch onto the person in front of me just in protest. I'm like, fuck that. Fuck that. What about on public transport? We had the green stickers that was like, sit here, sit here. And you could only sit on the green stickers. I liked it because no one could sit next to you.

That was nice. That was a good part of COVID, that there was very little touch. You're a very complex person. You want someone on the machine next to you at Reformer Pilates, but no one sitting next to you on the train. No, because the Reformer Pilates bed deserves more love than a bus seat. What about that dirty fucking train seat? You know the train seat.

It's being used way more than that Reformer machine. Imagine how many arses have farted on those. But you know the train seat, the pattern it's got? Yeah. Do you know that it's that because you can't see dirt on it? Yeah, they're trying to hide how dirty it is. It's a specific pattern that blocks out the yuckness. Here's what they should fucking do on public transport.

The same thing they do with reformer Pilates, where you have to wipe it down after you're done with it. Yeah. Use moist fabric. I know. That's a bit of a flaw in that plan, shit. Actually, the fabric's better than when you sit on a bus and it's like the fake leather.

Oh, I hate that. I always stand up, and even if I go to someone's house in summer and they've got the pleather seats, or a hairdresser, or anyone that's got it, you stand up, I always have sweat all over it. And I just have to own it. I just go, sorry, bit of bum sweat. Because if not, it's like you're trying to hide it. Yeah, no, I'm with you.

I'm making direct eye contact with you because you're a sweaty boy. I'm sweating now. Look at my hands. They're quite clammy. Have you ever gotten a Botox in your hands? No, never, but I with you. I'm making direct eye contact with you because you're a sweaty boy. I'm sweating now. Look at my hands. They're quite clammy. Have you ever gotten a Botox in your hands? No, never, but I should. Botox in your hands? Stop sweating.

Really? I've had it in my neck. Can I do that for my fucking armpits? Yeah. Yeah, you can. Really? Yeah. How are you just discovering this?

I didn't know that that was the reason people do it. I thought it was just for wrinkles and shit. No, no. And you can get it in your jaw if you clench your jaw at night. I get it in the back of my neck for migraines. I have. I don't get it off of it. Yeah, for my bad headaches. Yeah, I get it in the back of my neck. My friend, well, no. And you can get it in your jaw if you clench your jaw at night. I get it in the back of my neck for migraines. I have. I don't get it off. Yeah, for my bad headaches.

Yeah, I get it in the back of my neck. My friend, well, Brittany Hockley, fuck, Brittany who we speak about, has got it in her neck so much that she can't hold her head up straight. So sometimes if she gets knocked, she's kind of got to get her hand and pull it up. No way. Yeah, her muscles are like so weakened by her Botox. What, migraines? Yeah, she gets bad migraines.

I'm so glad I'm not a migraine sufferer. Right. What are you checking on? You're watching a very busy boy. I just got a notification. No, just people trying to know me. Would you ever get Botox, Jenna, by the way? Yeah, she gets bad migraines. I'm so glad I'm not a migraine sufferer. Right. What are you checking on your watch? I'm a very busy boy. I just got a notification. No, just people trying to know me. Would you ever get Botox, Jenna, by the way? Yeah, I would.

It just looks like you have it. I don't. It's so surprising. You do have a very tight forehead. Really? Look at me, Jenna. Nah, you just have a good skincare routine. Do you ever wear makeup?

Just like BB cream. Are you wearing that right now? Yeah. She's one of those people that never wears it, but then when she does actually get doled up for the radio awards or something, people go, whoa. Huh. All right, Selma and Patty.

Here I am in two kilos of fake tan. What are you going with that? That's on Dress to Impress. Have you played Dress to Impress? No. Oh, you'd love it. You've got to play. I don't know if you would.

What is it? An app. How do you even explain it? It's like a thing on Roblox where you're in a room with live people actually also playing, like strangers. Like Habbo Hotel. Yeah. Yeah, it's like Habbo Hotel.

I got groomed on Habbo Hotel big time. Me too. ASL? 50? Someone's like, come to my suite. 50 sexiest plush. Show me a penis. It was just one pixel pink. My sister Rachel genuinely, this is a warning for kids, got groomed on Club Penguin by some penguin. What's Club Penguin? Oh, nah.

Come on. It's like Habbo Hotel, but you're a penguin. You've got igloo. You've got puffles. How old are you, Jenna? 31. I'm younger than you. How do you know my birthday when you hate me so much?

Weird. Because we used to work right next to each other. I don't have my birthday on my shirt. Why don't you two just kiss? Come on. No, thank you. Do you still want to know what Dressed to Impress is? Yes, yes, yes.

Sorry, we really went down a penguin hole. So it's Habbo Hotel adjacent. You've got five minutes to pick an outfit. There's a theme it might be like just broken up with. And you go around the closet and you put on a different outfit. And then there's a catwalk at the end. And everyone rates each other's looks out of five. And then there's like a podium based off the audience vote. I don't think

I know what Roblox is, if that's what it is. What is it? No, that's Dressed to Impress. It's a thing within Roblox. I thought it was like Tetris. No, no, no. Roblox is like a site that houses many games. Roblox is the book and Dressed to Impress is a chapter within it.

Correct. Well said, Mitchell. Yeah, right. I like that. I'm going to try that. Yeah. I reckon you get so angry at people. You'd be like, oh, come on, fuck, that was gorgeous. I know this was a good look.

Yeah. It's like me every morning getting ready for work. What time do you wake up? 3.15 is my first alarm. But then I want to be awake by 3.30. But then most days I'm like, I snooze so much that I'm like turning it off while I'm sleeping. Like I just don't even wake up and I don't have any memory of it. It's the worst.

It's so shit. Like the amount of times I'm late and I'm like, I have no excuse except for I snooze. But anyway, and then I wake up and then I put everything on and I'm like, fuck, I look like shit. Yeah, I wake up to like phone calls being like, where the fuck are you, Mitch? At 7am, I was meant to be there at 5.30. I was meant to give Jenna a lift. And I just had no fucking memory whatsoever of my alarm ever going off.

But I must have just turned it off. My mentality is once you're late, you may as well be super late. Yeah. You're already late. I'm not going to get a coffee. Do you remember when you used to do the breakfast show? You hosted it. And you would come in at like 6 o'clock to start at 6 o'clock.

I'd hear the news opener in the car. I'd be like, oh, well, fuck that. And no one else, because they fired everyone at the whole station except for me. So I'd just be in the car going, well, we're going to go off air. Did you ever not make it in time? Yeah. What happened? Sometimes I'd see you coming in at like quarter past six,

six thirty some day. That's so funny. That was a real time. I was getting paid to just waltz in, talk shit and leave. Sounds like you, Mitch. It's kind of my existence. You know that I remember when we did the show together, the summer show and we like co-hosted together. That was fine.

We had so much fun. Yeah, I'm in trying to bring that summer show back actually, but not with just with someone. I'd do it. Jenna and I are also free. Maybe the podcast comes back. It's the summer breakfast show. Could you imagine us trying not to fucking swear? Yeah.

I don't think you guys could do radio. You've always worked behind the scenes but never on air. It's weird. There is actually, I joke about the swearing thing, but there is like a switch I'm able to flick where I don't swear. It's possible. I'm exactly the same. I don't swear on my show.

I say shit though and I got in trouble for saying prick the other night. We got a complaint that I said prick. Amanda said it this morning. Did she? Yeah. Yeah. It's fun to say, but I got in trouble. Nat, that wasn't so We got a complaint that I said prick. Amanda said it this morning. Did she? Yeah. It's fun to say, but I got in trouble. Nat, that wasn't so.

Nat was so far off mic, we just heard, boom. Why, when I did it, did everyone stop talking? Because we couldn't carry on like it was nothing. We've all done a cough except Jenna. Jenna, can you? Jenna's been queefing the whole show. I was going to say Jenna cough and we rate it. Okay.

Go. Jesus it. Okay. Go. Jesus Christ. Are your hands damp now? Because she covered her mouth. Jenna, that is horrific. Also, I think people forget the purpose of covering your mouth when you cough. Oh, don't start asking me. See, hold it.

That would have done everything except blow it back into your face. It would have ricocheted. Well, it didn't. I'll take your word for it. Okay. Gonna have to. So what is next for you, Nat? In life?

Yeah, are you happy to have a- Should I get a big promotion? No, of course. It's huge. Do you have a relationship or you don't want a relationship? You want to be single? I'm on all the apps. I also discovered an app the other day called Field. Have you heard of it?

Field is where a lot of open relationships go to find a third. So it's like, I don't know, because the straight grinder is Blender, right? But does anyone even use that? I've never even heard of Blender. Fuck, I've been off the apps for years. I can't keep up. I don't know. Like, this isn't, I don't think anyone uses it.

Right. But Field, someone told me about it, and it's like for kink stuff and like just for like friends with benefits things and stuff. So I didn't go on being like, oh, fuck yeah, I can't wait to do bondage but i was just like oh how was it the amount of stuff i had to google like the amount of fetishes and all these things that i'd know like there's something called ggg do you know what that is no it's like give a get a something else and i get something and then there's another thing called aftercare so they'll put one of their things is aftercare yeah i'm like what's aftercare like they wipe your jizz off you no aftercare is if you're

delving into kinks they can they can be dangerous territory and triggers surrounding them right like choking and that's light stuff but aftercare is um ensuring that afterwards they're like mentally okay physically okay they're comforted perhaps they've got a drink like that's basic but just that stuff yeah yeah well that opened my eyes so after doing that and like so many couples on there even people i knew from my area and i was like yeah like and their penises are out and stuff and i was just like people are like good on them like whatever but i was just like that is not like what i can do like that's not my world so anyway i'm off that up still on hinge and bumble and things but i just feel like everyone i start talking to i lose interest what's your go-to position in sex yeah mish yeah mish mish

and doggy dog you like doggy yeah doggy goes like deep right is that why people like women love it um i think it's also just the sometimes they want to bend you into a pretzel you know what i mean where it's like they feel like the most normal positions, like the most animalistic, is just laying on my back or being on all fours. Agreed. Yeah. So anyway. Oh, you agree? Yeah.

No, like missionary's great. I'll see you at a couple of missions. Yeah. Hey. What's yours? Whale! Sorry. I haven't done that before.

No, yeah. I just had to get it out of my system. It's also not as grunty. It's more in the back of the throat. Yeah. He's got it to the mouth to the side. It's quite Simpsons. Yeah.

You make the smallest hole possible and put it as far west as you can. Can you say why I order in the same tone as way off? Yeah, sure. Why I order. It almost is the same. It's the same thing. It is. God, you've got to laugh, don't you?

All right, I think we've got to get out of here. We do. Nat, thank you for being here. Nat, do you want us to do a Matt McGram on you? Because you've been feeling that high neck. You know what it is? My bra straps are too loose and they keep falling down and it's really annoying me

so I'm trying to pull them back up You don't want to say that You know what here's a compliment for you for someone who's being funny isn't your profession you're one of the funniest

non-paid funny people that I know Oh thank you so much It's a compliment I really I find you very funny and I I'm so glad you've come

on this show as we're ending Oh my god this is so nice Any words from you Jenna? Yeah that's good Thank you This could on the show as we're ending. Oh, my God. This is so nice. Any words from you, Jenna? Yeah, that's good. Thank you. This could be the chance to bury the hatchet. You know when someone's terminal and they say, hey, let's let bygones be bygones.

I love you. You know, because you're not going to be able to say it again. Hold hands or something. But if we were burying the hatchet, we'd be burying an empty box because I don't even know why Jenna hates me. That's true. She's actually never clarified. So why doesn't she now come out after all this time,

after five years and the pain you've caused me and come out and tell me what your problem is with me? To be honest, I don't know. Wow. I don't know. So you'd say this is all fabricated? Sorry. Lie that you've made up.

Yes. For attention? She's already said it's because she can sense people So you'd say this is all fabricated. Sorry. Lie that you've made up. Yes, I will. For attention. She's already said it's because she can sense people when she sees them. You're an empath. I told you. She's lying for attention. This is the same as the TikTok thing. It's true.

It's true. And I fooled you all. Jesus Christ. What an evil. You know when people just laugh and their mouth moves with every sound? Yeah. That's what Jenna just did. Jenna's like, I fooled you all.

So teethy. You know those red teeth you used to get at games and things? Oh, yeah, twist your mouth. When an anaconda unhinges its jaw to eat a baby mouse. That's exactly what Jenna was. Okay, cool. Okay. All right, Nat, that was the flakiest laugh ever.

No, I realise what you said after. Thank you so much. Thank you. Well I realised what you said after. Thank you so much. Thank you. Well, that was a nice attempt. Thank you. Yes, the hatchet seems to not be in the ground yet. It's not been buried. No.

It's on our shores. So you two can keep that weird sexual tension going for eternity. Before we go, the merch is still available. We'll be revealing the results next episode. Next episode or next week? Next episode. The very next one. Oh, my God. Oh, all right. We hope this podcast made you feel episode. The very next one. Oh my god. Oh, alright.

We hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today. That's all. Just 2%. Are you going to swear at me? Oh, it's been two years. We've got to give it a refresher. So we do. So we do. I thought there was more coming.

This is how we do. It's a bit culty. Thanks for listening, idiots. So we do. So we do. I thought there was more coming. This is how we do. It's a bit culty. Thanks for listening, idiots. We love you. A few more episodes left. Bucket list. Big tick from Nat Penfold. Tick.

Tick. What a box it is. Thank you for having me. Double entendre. Thank you for having me. All right. Talk to you soon, idiots. Bye, Bob.

See ya. Bye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.