Is It Just Me? - #25: Gold Digging Jenna

Episode Date: April 26, 2020

In this episode: Single beds (06:17)  Learning to talk like a straight guy (10:31)  The improv game returns (22:35)  Gold Digger - Jenna's shocking confession (30:09)  Our "secret segment" ADDebrief (45:05)    Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. A surge in young people inhaling the gas from cooking canisters known as names to get high. Some things make more sense than others. I've done everything for you. I've put my career on hold. I could have been anything if I'd had the talent. Brace yourself for observations you didn't ask for. This is leadership. I think he's one of the greatest leaders we've ever had. Do you?

Yeah. Well, good, I hope. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Should one of us be Mitch and the other be Mitchell just to make things easier? You're Mitch. I only call you Mitchell when you're being annoying. You always call me Mitchell.

Oh. Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, everyone. G'day, g'day. Here we are. Oh, now here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Hello, everyone. G'day, g'day. Here we are. For the first time, I just felt bad that Jenna's name wasn't in the opener. Oh, all right.

Jenna's here anyway. Hello, Jenna. Hi. Oh, sorry. No. What are the odds? Jenna, every time I reset this desk, it resets your mic. Hold on.

Just bear with me. You are there, though, right? Hurry up. Sorry. Doesn't matter. Can you relax? Try now. Hello. There we are. I'm back.

Well, later in the show, we're going to be digging into Jenna's good bits. That's right. Gold Digger, round three. This is where we interview each other. You and I have already been done. Jenna, we're going to be trying to get some gold out of you. Something we don't already know about you. And considering Jenna died in a mine in 1800, this will be very interesting. Are we asking questions about her current existence as Jenna

or her past life? It might be good to delve in. Yeah, lives, plural, please. Jenna was a pterodactyl in the seventh year. I told you I don't want to discuss that. Of course, she doesn't want to talk about Jurassic days. Understood. I don't know.

Let's just keep it this life. Good-o. First life. Alright, can do. I'm a bit upset. What for? I had an Is It Just Me that I was planning for a week

and I've had to abort it. Why? Because it failed. I thought it was going to be really funny. It hasn't happened yet. I know, but I can't do it. It's not funny enough. It's like half-baked.

You know when you bake brownies and then you pull them out thinking they'll be chewy and they're just wet and you fuck it up? I do love a doughy surprise, though. Yeah, but you... Do you?

Yeah. Sounds fun. Like a doughy surprise. That was my Tinder pickup line for a while. You mean a doughy surprise? No, because I'm fat. Nothing to do with anything else. I'm going to reveal it now because I just think I have to.

Well, I'm glad we're kicking off the show with the absolute worst thing we have to offer. Let's do it. We'll start low and then we'll get better. So, basically, I don't actually even know what my is it just me would have been. It would have been, is it just me or are you part of any Facebook groups? Oh my God. Are you kidding? One of my is it just me's in my notes that I haven't done yet was, are Facebook groups

the only thing keeping Facebook alive? Yes. Because I'm part of so many good ones. Oh, should I hold this then? Oh, well, you just. You know what? Hold that because that was the only tie-in I could find. It's a very loose tie-in.

I'm part of a group called Royal Team. So Royal Team with a cup of tea emoji. Oh, okay. And it's all gay boys like they're, you know, skinny selfies. And there's a trend where you post a selfie and they'd go, make an assumption about me, roast me. That was the challenge that they're all doing, posting photos of themselves,

and then the group members had to roast them. That doesn't sound like something you would invite in, does it? No, goodness me, that's why I did you. What have you done? I did a photo of you. Oh, God, you posted in this group asking all these people to bag out my appearance. I said, go for it.

Make an assumption about me. And yes, this is my daughter, Chanel Ray. Do your worst, sisters. And it's a photo of you holding a very, very freshly made infant. Yeah, that's my niece. And it looks to be a 4X gold or it could be a solo. It's a great photo. It's on my Instagram.

It is. If you scroll down. It's actually the first photo on my Tinder as well. I'm looking like a mad Bogan. And I did you a favour. I chose Bogan. I didn't choose ugly. I didn't choose young.

I did the long hair because I know you love it. And I wanted to get people's opinions. Now, we've got five comments. Okay. I wanted more. This is why it failed. Some people get 100 comments. First comment is, I said make assumptions about me.

That's the charge. Le Manuel Battaglio says says you were bad in bed. I don't know how you can deduce that. How would he know? Catherine Gee says you were not the father. And that got quite a few live reacts. Catherine did well. Everyone liked that.

Dion Maloney says other Mitch is hotter. So we have listeners of this podcast in that page. What are the odds? Who was it? Dion Maloney. Dion Maloney, you champion. No, I think he means me. He follows up with short hair for the win with a winky face.

So I'm sure he's talking about me. Oh, we'll scratch that. See, this was a good Ijeom in theory, but it's blocked. I just looked up this group. Yeah. It has 1,298 members. How did you find yourself in such a random group? I don't know.

I think someone tagged me or something. I'm part of so many good groups. One of them is signs with threatening auras. It's literally just signs that people see out in public that have threatening auras. I'm going to find some now. Sorry, this is a little bit. This is a tangent.

I love it. My feed is literally just full of these signs now because I like them so much. So, you know those hand drying machines that you put your hands into when you're leaving the bathroom? The Dyson ones, the good ones. It just has a sticker on it that says, not a urinal. Good to know. That'll just blow it back up in your face. There's also a group that just says, a group where we only give very bad advice.

It's so funny. So you pose questions and people give bad advice so it's like oh my husband my husband won't take the garbage out what should i do it's like kill him that's funny anyway we need to move on yeah we're carrying on a bit aren't we so let me tell you mitch later on do you remember back in episode 11 oh we did that improv game where you made up ads on the spot for like trees and random objects. That was fun. Later on the improv game is back. It's a little bit different this time. I'm not going to say too much

because I think you're at your best when you're not prepared. Yeah, I can't prepare anything. So I don't want you to like think in head. I'm just going to, I'll spring it on you later, but I'll tell you now the improv game is back. Okay, I'm excited. If it is your first time listening, guys, the Is It Just Me's are the core of is back. Okay, I'm excited. If it is your first time listening, guys, the Is It Just Me's are the core of the show.

We call them idjims. Basically, it's something that we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. We have one each. We don't tell each other what it's going to be, so total surprise. Why don't we jump in? Let's start.

Yeah, you go for it. Okay, here we go. Is it just me or... Are single beds really fun sometimes for like a little change? Yes. Yeah? What do you mean fun? Oh, let me tell you, there's nothing I love more than walking into the Shangri-La and Circular Quay and booking and checking into my hotel, tapping the key card and realising

I've got a single bed. Oh, it's such a good feeling. Like when you go to your auntie's coast house and you walk into the room and it's a single bed yeah okay there's nothing better than getting into a single bed like i just love knowing that i'm in it i know that i'm safe they're often butted up against a wall so you've kind of got that little yeah that's my favorite safety net of the wall i just love a single bed yeah i'm trying i don't think i would have slept in one in a while i had a single bed i had a single bed right that was a bunk bed that had a slide to get out of growing up.

What do you mean a slide? It had a slipper to it. Oh, God. Yes, it was a bunk bed. Underneath was my Nintendo 64 and my nen knitted me Nickelodeon slime green felt because I asked for that colour. And it was fur from Lincraft. And it went around the bottom. My Nintendo 64 was in there.

And to get to bed, you had to climb a ladder. You fell asleep. And to get up, you slid down the slide. Oh, that novelty would wear off very quick. Oh, it did. As soon as I started masturbating, it was very overflowing. Jesus Christ. Had to clean the slide all the time.

I reckon the last time I had a single bed was when I was living on campus at Macquarie University. Yeah. I was living on campus at Macquarie University. Yeah. And the guy I was seeing at the time would obviously have to just squeeze in whenever it was, you know, we're staying at my place. Oh. And probably only for the first month. He was patient with that.

But after a while, he was like, can we come up with some sort of arrangement? So I had a mattress under the single bed. We'd like fall asleep and then he would try and sneak off without me noticing and, like, jump on the mattress. But I would always notice. That's horrendous. You can't have that. No, you can't have a couple in a single bed, can you?

Did you do things in the bed? Oh, if that single bed could talk. Oh, that dorm. It'd scream, I think. I guess if you're stacking on top of each other, it's fine. It's the height. It's the width that's the problem. Especially me.

I barely fit in a single bed. I remember at like 10, they had to get me a king single. Why bother? Oh, yeah. Just buy a double. What's the point? So did this happen recently that you were in a single bed or you've been reminded of how much you love it?

It happened the other night. I was in bed and I could not sleep. And I'm like, there's too many fucking options. And then I thought next door in the spare room at Hayden's house, there's a single bed. And I remember thinking, I reckon I'd fall straight asleep if I went in that room. I didn't do it because it would have been really cold when you first got in. I love cold sheets.

And I love when you've just showered and you sort of wiggle your way in. So were you and Hayden at that point where you start sleeping in separate beds? Oh, God, no. Not doing that. That's the end of a relationship. Not necessarily. Sometimes it is just more practical. Actually, very true. I've got a good friend, Zoe Marshall, and her husband, Benji, and her, I'm sure she'll's the end of a relationship. Not necessarily. Sometimes it is just more practical. Actually, very true.

I've got a good friend, Zoe Marshall, and her husband, Benji, and I'm sure she'll be fine with me saying this, sleep in separate beds and have since they really started dating and they've got the best marriage ever to anyone I know. Yeah, right. Especially because I imagine you'd be a snorer. So it'd probably work for you. Well, I don't think I am.

You should get that app Sleep Talk or whatever it is where it records the noise you make while you're sleeping. I haven't done it yet. I'm too scared. Why don't we do it? Because apparently my sister got it and she said that she heard her partner saying all sorts of demonic things. Really?

Yeah. Anyway, good idger, Mitch. Thanks, Mitch. That was you. But it was great. You know, I was thanking myself. You love clapping, don't you? I've just sometimes heard of you do a solo round of applause.

I do that with guests sometimes. Thanks for coming on, on jojo and then there's that delay because they're in america thank you so much thank you i never noticed though when you're doing it it's only when i listen back and i'm like fuck was i meant to applaud did i seem rude for not applauding like when we had a guest host come on you'll applaud them and i'm like oh you know who else does that jimmy fallon And it fucking annoys me. He's like, oh, Selena Gomez. He does. Doesn't he have a studio audience though?

Yes. Well, that makes sense. I don't. Yeah, he's trying to lead them down the garden. Yeah, that's fine. Goals for this show. Can we please one day do a show in front of a live studio audience? We get the injury and it gets in.

And just try it. Well, let's just cross off COVID-19. Yes. Very true. Before we start toying with ideas like that. Maybe a dirty fucking bunch. Okay, are you ready for yours? Yes, I am. Here we go. Is it just me or?

Do you have an appreciation for the vocabulary of the straight man? I mean, yeah. I always had this theory that I wasn't masculine enough to pull off words like bro like i'm more of a dalen kind of guy oh you're very much if i'm going to be giving pet names but i've recently without even realizing started calling people bro and i'm like i think maybe i actually can pull that off do you say sarcastically or genuinely like hey bro no i i don't say, hey, bro. I'll use it at the end of a sentence. Like, oh, don't even start me, bro.

Something like that. Actually, I have noticed that. You said that to me a couple of times. And there's a few that I want to add to my vocabulary, but I'm just not sure if I'm going to use it in the right spots and stuff. So I thought this was the perfect opportunity to play one of my favourite openers of all time. The perfect opportunity to play one of my favourite openers of all time.

That's an actual opener on an actual radio show. What are they talking about? I think they intended, it's a talkback radio show, they intended it to be like, oh, you know, it's just straight up talk. Oh, I was picturing, on 8899963, Julie, your husband fucks you in Missionary. Is that correct? Yeah, he does, Graeme.

Bloody hell. Well, it's not that fortunately, but straight talk is what I'm calling this. I want to learn when it's appropriate to use certain phrases. So, Petho, one of the guys in our office. Oh, good. We've dragged him in here before, but I'm going to do it again.

He's probably busy, but oh well. He's out there now. I can see him through the glass. How do I do that thing where I buzz out again? Oh, press produce out or PD out. I can do it if you can. Where is it? No.

Oh, let me find it. PD1. Big dog. Okay. I think I used that correctly because he's coming. Yeah. You really perked up his attention. He's walking over.

So, Petho speaks like a bloke. Yeah. Like a real Australian bloke his attention. He's walking over. So, Petho speaks like a bloke. Yeah. Like a real Australian bloke. Okay. Which is a miracle. He's a bit of a Melbourne punce. He's very metro, though. This guy is very in touch with both his feminine and masculine side.

Yes, exactly. Here he is. Come on, Petho. Sorry, we're clapping. Hello, mate. It's a thing now. Hello. Hi.

I feel like a magpie coming back to his nest. Like an ibis. What does that mean? Oh, Jenna. What, have you got you guys dating or something? Jenna, that's ridiculous. It's weird inside jokes. Anyway, the reason I've dragged you in here again is we need your help with a bit of straight talk.

Now, I hope you don't find this weird, but I've been eavesdropping on you. And I've been writing down a few words that I've noticed come out of your mouth, and I'm like, God, I'd really love to be able to pull those off. I want to add them to my vocab. Hit me. And I want to know when it is appropriate for me to say it. So, a lot of them start with the word big. So, big dog.

Oh. When I just called out to you there, big dog, is that correct? Big dog is correct, because I am the big dog. So, big dog's a good thing. Big dog's a great thing. You want to be the big dog. You call me big dog. correct because i am the big dog so big dog's a good thing big dog's a great thing you want to be the big dog you call me but yeah i do but you're you're in a different case because big dog like you want to be the big dog but i also call mitch big dog because he thinks he's the big dog so it's more of a sarcastic like oh the big dog but you're actually not the big dog

you've got to do a little chuckle. Big dog. The big dog's here. I'm loving this already. That is not really the big dog. What about big boy? Because I hear you say around, oh, here he is. Oh, big boy. Big boy is no good because big boy is like you're talking, you say to a child, oh, good work, big boy.

Oh, you're getting big boy. So it's you asserting your dominance over the other person. So you're belittling them. Yeah. How would you say big boy to someone? Like, say it's you asserting your dominance over the other person. So you're belittling them. Yeah. How would you say big boy to someone? Like, say it to me. Oh, can you grab me a coffee, big boy? Okay, so yeah, I gotcha.

I've got the power over you. It is condescending. Immediately have the power. Of course you want the power. Yeah, well, it's just how it works, mate. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there. All these dog references. Christ.

And being dog's a good thing, apparently. Apparently so. All right, fair enough. Do you ever say cat? Good on you, big cat. No. And being dog's a good thing, apparently. Apparently so. All right, fair enough. Do you ever say cat? Good on you, big cat. No. What about big bird? Big bird?

Big bird. No. Oh, you big cockatoo. Okay, what about big fella? That's different. I hear that a lot. Big fella's pretty neutral. It's just like we have a mutual, we're just mutual mates on the same level.

Oh, big fella, how are ya? But I wouldn't say I use big fella that often. Yeah, it's just one that I've got on my list of things that I want to be confident enough to say. I'm not there yet. Yeah, I'd scrap big fella. Okay, alright. Get rid of that one.

Alright. So, big dog, big boy, I know the difference. Good eye. One that I've been using a lot recently is Chief. Chief. In the last, like, maybe two weeks, I've started using it a lot. Yeah. Like, maybe in traffic, I'll be like, oh, come on, take your time,

Chief. Something like that. Yeah, yeah. Is that right or not? Yeah, yeah, that's good. Come on, Chief. Can I try to guess what it's for? Isn't it for someone who, like, thinks they have the power? Like, or thinks they're the Chief, but in reality, they've got nothing? Yeah, it's a bit like how I use Big Dog with you. Yes. Yeah. Interchangeable. So, like, if Mitch were to ask Petho,

oh, how do I do this certain thing on the radio panel? You'd go, your job, Chief. Yeah, your job, Chief. Come on, Chief. It all comes across as very sarcastic. I love it. It can be. Yeah, yeah.

I was straight for 23 years. Did you check those levels, Chief? Yes. I love it. Oh, it's condescending. It's so good. Makes me feel, like, worthless. Is Chief in a similar vein to Champ?

Champ, you would say, is the all-time worst insult. Like, you do not want to get champed. Really? No. No one wants to be champed. See, I feel like before this lesson, I would have been more offended being called a big dog than Champ. Nah, big dog's just, you want to be the big dog.

The only thing worse than Champ I'm seeing getting said around these, and this is a new thing, this is 2020 straight talk, people trying to bring squirt in. It's like, oh, thanks, squirt. Squirt? I don't know. What are you, a fucking Pokemon? Shut that up.

If you get called squirt, that's terrible. What about tune? Do you guys still use on the tune? Oh, yes. Yeah, on the tune. Oh, Liam's on the tune with Casey Lee from The Bachelor. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. Are you tuning her? Are you guys on the tune oh yes like yeah on the tune go liam's on the tune with casey lee from bachelor yeah yeah 100 are you tuning her are you guys on the tune yeah oh is that you're tuning them yeah it means like you're um never i've never heard them chat them up chat them up even ones i don't know

about legends the safest one i reckon yeah you can you both can pull off legend jenna and mitch ledge as well like Yeah, ledge. Thanks, ledge. Good on you, ledge. You want me to get up on the ledge? No, don't do that. That's confusing. Hey, ledge. How are you, ledge?

Jump. What about eats? What? What? What? Hear me out. You know it. No, I don't.

Eats. Are you getting food? No. You want to go to the pub tonight, 7 o'clock? You eat. Nah, I've never... That's not straight talk, mate. Yeah, that's what it is.

Yes, it is. Eat. There's so many I don't know. Eat's like, yeah, that's sweet. All sweet. Nah, mate. Even my brother has all these ones that I don't know. I listen to his friends have a conversation when I'm at home.

I have no idea what's going on. There's all these slangs I don't understand. Oh, my God. Your brother and Petho would be the best match. Imagine them having a conversation. I would find it so funny because only they would understand each other in this room. It would be like Russell Coy and Grant Denyer having a conversation.

Just wouldn't be able to follow. My brother couldn't be more different to me. Can we call your brother now? Oh, my God, can you? Yeah. Send me his number. Get him on the blower. Get him on the blower.

He says all these ones that maybe they're not Melbourne enough for you, Pat, but I don't even know what he's saying half the time. And his name is Mark, right? He's a man of few words as well. I say Cocko a lot, my favourite. Cocko? Yeah, how are you, Cocker? What the hell?

What? What does that mean? It's just good. Sorry, I'm writing it down. Is it spelt in a particular way? C-O-C-K-O. How are you, Cock's just good. Sorry, I'm writing it down. That's like. Is it spelled in a particular way? C-O-C-K-O. How are you, Cocker? Good.

Interesting. My all-time favorite is Stodd. And that means. What the fuck? Stodd? I like Stodd. Stodd is like, it's so endearing. It means dickhead.

Yeah. But it's like, oh, how are you, Stodd? It's like, oh, how are you, dickhead? Oh, like they're a lovable larrikin. Yeah. Or they do like, oh, I fucking kissed Casey on the weekend. Oh like they're a lovable larrikin. Yeah, or they do like, oh, I fucking kissed Casey on the weekend. Oh, you're a stud.

Yeah, I feel you. Yeah. I would just think you're mispronouncing stud. Yeah, a lot do. A lot do. Anyway, I'm ringing Marky Mark. Okay.

Should we just pretend we're not here? No, why would we do that? I don't know. I have to give context. It's going to be from a private number. Should we pretend we're not here? Hello? Oh, hi, it's Mitch. Oh, hi, Brett. What's going on? There from a private number. Should we pretend we're not here? Hello? Oh, hi, it's Mitch.

Oh, hi, Brad. What's going on? There's a good example, Brad. Sorry, I'm just in the middle of my podcast at the moment. Hi, Mark, it's Mitch. How are you? Yeah, good. Yeah, yeah.

Good fan of yours. Big fan of yours. Big fan of your work. I'm a big fan of myself, too. Mark actually is a big fan of you, Mitch. He says all the time, he goes, oh, his laugh cracks me up. The laugh? Yeah. Why the laugh the time, he goes, oh, his laugh cracks me up. The laugh? Yeah.

Why the laugh? Yeah, I don't know. That's true, though. You haven't met Petho before, have you, Mark? Who? Petho, here he is. How you doing, Cocko? What?

Yeah, agreed, Mark. So you don't know what Cocko is, Mark? I reckon that's very Melbourne. Yeah, no. I thought Cocko was one of my mates. I'm like, what the fuck? So what did you say when I answered the phone, Mark? You called me bread?

Not as in bread you eat, as in B-R-E-D, bread. Right. What does it mean? I don't know, bread. So you haven't heard that either, Pep? I haven't heard bread. Oh, different breeds of straight we're dealing with here. Yeah.

So the reason we were calling was we were in the middle of a segment called Straight Talk, and I was saying there's all these words that I overhear straight people say that I don't understand. Pep, though, was explaining to me chief and big dog and big boy and all that stuff. And you're a league of your own. Yeah, and all those ones, he said it's good. Yeah, thanks, mate. I'll take that. You're all right too, champ.

Thanks, guys. Maybe we should be teaching them gay talk, Mitch, you know. Could either of you, Petho or Mark, pull off a Dallin? Hi, Dallin. That actually sounds great. Pretty good. You pull it off. What about Mark?

Just say, hey, babe. No, fuck, no. Hey, babe. Nah, fuck, no. Hey, babe. Nah, I can't say that. He sounds like he's driving a truck as we speak. We're trying to pull away his masculinity. What are you doing right now, Mark? I actually am driving, Mitch.

I knew it. Mark's got one of those big utes with the toolboxes on the back and shit. He's a builder. Do you have a mattress in the back of the tray? Do you guys have the same dad and mum? Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah, I know, right?

What happened? Bizarre, isn't it? Was Mitch clearly like, was he the same as he is now then? Yeah. High in the ass. Do you guys kick the footy together in the backyard? Never. Never.

Mark had a cricket ball on a string hanging from a tree because I wouldn't play cricket with him. Oh, no. I had that too. The eye-in? Do you have an eye-in, Mark? A what? It was the old bat off Don Bradman.

Oh, no, no, no. Mate, the eye-in is fantastic. I'm out straightening him with the eye-in. Mark, I should tell you that Petho supports the AFL. I do support the AFL. Oh, God, so he's gay as well. Mate, you guys are a bunch of bum-sniffers over there. Hey, okay, all right.

Oh, look at that. Another man I can cuddle on the ground. We need to end this now. All right, Cobb. Good chat. See you. See you. What a nice guy.

What a galah. Stop acting like bitches and follow a couple of bitches. Yes, please do. Instagram, Facebook. See you, Bethlehem. Bye. He's gone. Shit, he's quick.

Those straights. I blinked. I learned a lot. I learned a lot. I love your brother. I's gone. Shit, he's quick. Those straights. I blinked. I learned a lot. I learned a lot. And I love your brother. I'd love to get him in one show. He's fine. I don't think he'd do it.

Really? I doubt it. That's the most words he's said to me in a long time, actually. Yeah? Usually one word response is like, yeah. Yeah, good on you, Brad. I feel like he didn't even know what he said. What if Brad?

He never explained the meaning. He just said it. Also, that's like a... Oh, that's a sex terminology, isn't it? Not that I'm aware of. Young Twink is bread. What? Oh, yeah. I know what you mean. God, I hope that's not what he means.

I doubt that's what he meant. Anyway, Mitch, I've got something fun for you. I know you love your improv. The less preparation, the better as far as you're concerned. So, back in episode 11, we were improvising ads for random objects because, what was it? You saw an ad for eggs? It was an ad for Australian eggs.

Yeah. But that's it and no company was attached. You can go back and listen to it. It was just for the item that is an egg. And so we started making ads for trees and random objects and stuff. Well, I was listening to the radio. I was on the background at work. And I heard another ad that I thought you would love.

Yeah. So, actually, you know, I'm just going to let you take a listen. Stay safe and keep clean with Australian hot water. We're here for you 24-7 on 132113. Australian hot water.com.au. And I thought, oh, my God, another one. Another ad just raising awareness for a random product that has no brand attached. Turns out Australian Hot Water is the brand name.

I actually Googled it. And so they're not just raising awareness for hot water. It was actually an ad for their installation and repair of hot water tanks. And I'm like like that's genius calling yourself australian hot water makes it sound like you're the only one offering that service yeah so many other people do that there's so many other services there's ream and then there's all the people that do the hot water systems yeah and so they call themselves australian hot water and that made me think oh that must just be the only people that are doing that. That's smart marketing.

That's like Maccas is calling themselves hot hamburger. Well, exactly. This is where this improv game comes to. So this is a little bit like the reverse of last time. Before, you were advertising random objects. This time, I'm thinking you make up random ads for brands, but you never mention their brand name. You just say Australian whatever the product is.

So we could just rebrand to Australian podcast. Everyone will think this is the only one. I've got to get the music. It doesn't work without it. Oh, my God, that's right. We found those lame backing tracks. Yeah, we did. So, for all the trees and stuff, yeah.

And we made our own, remember? Here it is. Yeah, we did make our own. That wasn't it. This was it. No. Well, this is one of the ones you used, yeah. Oh, that was the one.

Don't be a fat lad. Plant one in your backyard. Out of time, but whatever. Oh, Australian trees. So what are we thinking? Give me a big brand and we'll work backwards. Good idea. Okay, let's do, what about Freedom Furniture?

What would you call it? Australian. Australian chair. Just the one chair. What about. Australian lounge. Oh yeah. What about an ad for Delta Goodrum, but you just call it Australian music.

Yes. Australian singer. Yes. No, just Australian music. That's all we have. Yes. So you're an American tourist in the car and you go, wow, there's one singer in this country. Let me listen to Australian music. That's all we have. Yes. So you're an American tourist in the car and you go, wow, there's one singer in this country.

Let me listen to their music. What about an ad for Kilometrico and you call them Australian pens? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That could be funny. What about... Oh, what else could we do? An ad for Tim Tams.

Australian choccy bickies. There's no others. Fuck mint slice. Yeah, wagon wheels don't exist. I feel like we haven't hit the right one yet. What could it be? What about... Smith's chips, but it's just Australian chips.

Just Australian potato strands. What about you do an ad for Caltech's Australian fuel? Yeah, yeah. Australian dinosaur juice. What about for Caltrate? Australian calcium. Going down to elemental levels.

Australian calcium supplement. What about Red Rooster? Australian chicken. Australian fast food. Australian chicken could be good. Because Red Rooster, are they like an American fast food or global? No. No. Oh, that's got to be it.

Now I love me some Red Rooster. Yeah, we love Red Rooster. Yeah, fuck. I've been addicted to Red Rooster ever since the whole... Oh, it's perked. Ever since all the isolation stuff started escalating. I've just been going so much. Okay, so we've got the name.

It's just Australian chicken. Okay. Okay. We we've got the name. It's just Australian Chicken. Okay. Okay. We need a website, right? Australianchicken.com.au. .com.au. Okay. We never got this far on this music.

We sort of vetoed it in the first round. It's okay. I don't like it. I'm going to change it. What about an ad for coronavirus? Australian illness. Oh, no. Oh, goodness me.

Sorry. We could just be the Australian podcast. Well, I'm already planning to rebrand. Like, I think it's genius. Australian pod... What would ours be? It'd just be... I don't want to know.

Wait. Boy and girl and another boy talking every day on Mondays. The Australian podcast. The only one there is and the only one there will ever be. www.auspod.org.au I like it. Time it. That was perfect.

That is good. What else could we do other than... What about an ad for Ugg boots, but they're just Australian shoes? Oh, yeah, that could be fun. Australian fairy shoes. Or like an ad for Dodo. Aussie internet. Yes.

I feel like that's what they do anyway. Pretty much. Aussie internet. feel like that's what they do anyway Aussie internet What about an ad for golf We just call it Australian sport That's the only one we play Let's try it Play it with your friends Get the ball in the hole

You and your pals, that old mole Australian sport Play it with your friends. Get the ball in the hole. You and your pals, that old mole. Australian sport. A day on the green doesn't have to be mean. You and your friends having a putt. It's you, it's us, it's Australian sport. No, everyone's like, what? What did I just watch? Did they say putt? Maybe it's like, what? What did I just watch?

Did they say putt? Maybe it's got, maybe. Imagine if you heard that ad and everyone just forgot about football. Yeah. Fuck the Olympics. We're not in that anymore. Why don't we have one sport? Interesting.

I'm going to have to call the number. Oh, God. What else could we do? What about, or it's almost for things that you didn't realise you could sell. Like... Ready? Do we have to guess? No.

Yeah, try to guess what it is. No, you'll know. You'll know. It's there when you wake up. It's there when you sleep. It's there, believe it or not, at your feet. Breathe it in. Breathe it out.

Australian air. You know what I mean? You can't market that. It's better than all the others. New Zealand air. Yeah. Heard of Beijing? That's awful.

Oh, God. That's just horrendous. I've missed the improv game. It's a good game, isn't it? We need some more jingles. Do you want to try one? No, God, no. I'm no good at it.

We know this. You're good at coming up with it. Coming up with what? The idea. Yeah, I'm not very good at it. I can't make shit up on the spot like you. Especially rhyming words. That's wild.

Yeah, rhyming words is hard. Anyway, speaking of good jingle. Yeah. You know what it's time for, don't you? Oh, I do. I'm very excited for this. Oh, shit. Hold on.

My pants are caught on the wind. Oh, my. Oh, God. That was so close. Oh, God. I almost got pulled in. We're down in mine. That's the last place you want things to go wrong.

How long do we have to stay down here? Until we're done in mine. That's the last place you want things to go wrong. How long do we have to stay down here? Until we're done! So welcome to Gold Digger. If you've never heard this segment before it's designed to learn things about each other that we didn't already know. I've already interviewed Mitch. Mitch interviewed me and we thought

Jenna. Little old Jenna. Our mate over here. Surely there's got to be something we don't know about her. People know enough about us and they think, you know what, we want to know something about their, you know, Kramer. Do you know what actually might surprise people? Yeah. So I feel like the whole Jenna thing sometimes gets lost in translation.

Some people are like, oh, my God, why is Jenna so mean to you and why do you put up with it? Maybe people don't realise that Jenna is actually horrifically pleasant in real life. Far too sweet. Extremely nice. Which is why it's funny to us that she just goes savage as soon as we hit record. Which, by the way, we never discussed. No.

We never said, oh, we'll bring Jenna on. It'll be really funny. She'll be mean to us. It just happened. The idea was just to have someone to bounce off so it wasn't you and I just driveling all show. Then all of a sudden she started ripping into me. Just get on with it, you rat. No one ever told her to do that.

I feel like these are always her inner thoughts, but she just lets them off the chain in here, whereas in real life she puts on this nice front. Is that true, Jenna? Are you actually an evil bitch deep down? Yeah. You enjoy working on this podcast, though? I hate it.

Now you can drop the act, though. The real thing is just real little baby Jenna. Where should we start digging first? I don't know. Let's give it a go. Digging for gold. I want to know, Jenna, about... I think people would be interested to know about who you are as a person.

How old are you? I'm 63. No, we're talking about your current state and soul. She's ageless. Yeah, Jenna is ageless. Yeah, Jenna is ageless. Yes, I'm ageless. But my current state, I am 26. There you go.

In her current life, yes. In her current life, yep, yep, yep. 26. But when you astral project, you're 7,006. Yes. Yeah, okay. Yes. So last week, Mitch, you asked me mine and Jenna's origin story.

Yeah. How did you two first meet? Oh, Jenna and I? Yes. Interesting. I remember this i remember this sorry go jenna yeah let's sit around here okay yes i do remember this clearly it was i think my second or third day working here yeah and i got approached to do your show celeb hq oh yeah the videos for it yeah and I remember you were so pleasant and nice why were you shocked at that because I just didn't expect an on-air personality to be so oh yeah you expect them to be all egotistical and like up themselves gotcha then I started working on your show I I realised how ridiculously bad you were.

Insufferable, isn't he? Yes. So when you first started working here, because Jenna's one of those annoying people that just excels at whatever she applies her mind to. Oh, she's brilliant. If she decides she wants to be good at it, she will be. Yeah. Had you ever given a shit about radio before working here?

Because now, obviously, you're thriving, you're loving it. But had you ever given much of a shit about radio before this? During high school, I loved radio. I'd always listen. I was obsessed with Hamish and Andy. Oh, me too. Yep. So every afternoon I'd go on my walk and just listen to them.

And then also I remember on the way to school each day, my mum would have Kyle and Jackie on when I was getting driven. And then when I was on the bus, I'd listen to it mum would have Kyle and Jackie on when I was getting driven. And then when I was on the bus, I'd listen to it on my little iPod. So was it weird for you to then meet them? Because you've filled in for me a couple of times doing my job. Yes.

No, it was very surreal. Okay. Very. I just mentioned that you're one of those annoying people that's really good at whatever you decide to be good at. What's something that you wanted to be good at, but then you're like, damn it, I'm shit at that. Yeah. Growing up, I up i really really i knew i knew i couldn't do it but i really wanted to do like like broadcast journalism because i was so obsessed with

like morning shows and all that oh yeah um but growing up i wanted to be an actor did you really hold on let me dig around here for a second so So you grew up wanting to be an actor. Mm-hmm. And then did you study theatre? Yes. Where at? NIDA. You studied at NIDA? Oh, another NIDA one.

God. Really? I wonder if we ever crossed paths at NIDA. Maybe. Maybe we did at the cafeteria. Oh, of course. That little cafe. Did you study theatre for screen stage?

Both. And why didn't you pursue it? Well, I started when I was like 10 yeah and then quit it when i was about 17 really oh my god that's a long time yeah yeah did you ever have an agent yes oh no what did you go for any auditions yeah i didn't know this oh my god i did a lot of extra work for Home and Away. You were on Home and Away? Yes.

Am I imagining this? I feel like I've been shown a screenshot where you're just wandering around in the background on Home and Away. Yes, holding an apple. At Summer Bay. Yes. Can someone get that pale girl from behind? She's blocking the view. Did you know that?

No. There you go. We have struck gold so early in the piece. Why is it so easy with her? Oh, because she gives good answers, I think. Interesting. So I'm picking around. I need to find out about your home life, Jenna.

Because you live at home. You did live at home, but not anymore. So you've moved out. Yes. With Sylvia, your beloved fish. Yes. Interesting. Do you miss your family?

Well, I see them every weekend pretty much. Siblings? Yeah. My brother. Just your brother. Yeah. So the only reason that every weekend pretty much. Siblings? Yeah, my brother. Just your brother? Yeah. So the only reason that you moved out of home was to be closer to this office because you don't drive.

Are you ever going to learn to drive? Yes. I was actually looking into driving instructors, but then coronavirus came. I could teach you, so could Mitch. No, but driving instructors have been deemed essential service, I'm pretty sure, because they're at work. That's true.

But I don't feel comfortable being in a car with a stranger. Oh, it's always another excuse. No, and it can find space. It's bacteria ridden. But yes, I definitely want to learn to drive because I want to go to more places. Yeah. Fun.

Interesting. Where are you at career-wise? Do you want to work your way up at ARN? Honestly, I have no intention of going higher or anything. I'm really happy with my position at the moment. What would the dream opportunity be? I don't know, digital content director or something? Oh, so you'd be telling all the other idiots how to make their articles better.

Yeah. Jenna as a boss would be the best thing ever. Could you put, I'm just thinking maybe, I've got an idea, maybe if you could do this, please. If you didn't have time to do it, it'd be totally okay. No. No? Oh.

She'd be stern? Are you kidding? No, I'm not kidding. When she needs to be, she's terrifying. I'm not letting people do whatever they want. Walk all over you. They're getting paid. Very true.

I've dropped my axe. Hold on. Oh, it's on... Oh, I didn't even realise. Hold on. I dropped that and it kept hammering like a bouncy ball. And there's a chunk of gold in it. Oh, it says Contiki.

Oh, sorry. I forgot to tell you, Mitch. Remember, the only reason that we could get Jenna to agree to taking part in this gold digger interview is if we were given a list of no-go zones. Of course, like a celebrity. It's right here. This is the entire list. Oh, read it out. Contiki. Oh, that's it. It's right here. This is the entire list. Oh, read it out. Contiki. Oh, that's it? It's just a big

block letter, Contiki? Yep. Yep. Oh, I'm sorry. Which is such a shame because I, God, I was there with her. The things I could tell you about. Oh, what a little filthy thing she is. Jenna, really? What a beast. Oh, don't break. If only you knew. Don't break the embargo. No, I won't.

I'm just saying. I wish I could ask questions because holy fuck. Oh, shut up. You couldn't look her in the eye again. That Jenna that you know and love. Oh, my God. It was fucked. Don't dig any deeper. We'll have a lawsuit.

She'll send us a cease and desist. Anyway, let's dig elsewhere, all right? There you go. Hold on. You need the axe. So, yeah, give it here, fucking hell. Well done. I'll show you how it's done.

Hurry up. You've got a good swing on you. Oh, my. There done. I'll show you how it's done. You've got a good swing on you. There we go. Right. Jenna, what is your form of self-care? Oh, I don't know. I don't do that very well, to be honest. Really?

What do you mean? I don't have a self-care routine or anything. I think I work too much. As in? I'm always working. Right. Yes, it is. You're not very good at switching off. No. You're always on around the clock. No. Which unfortunately some people exploit. Yeah. You're a yes man. But you're a pleaser, right? You want to please people. Surely when you do decide to switch off, is it

Netflix? Is it candles? I don't know. Something. You can't always be at your laptop working or you'd have a horrific RSI like I. I know. I think I have RSI, but I've just got used to it. Pushing through. Here I am, pussy, making a big deal about it. I mean, yeah, Netflix.

I actually like watching TV shows with my mum That's nice So we have a common interest there What are you watching now? Ozark Yeah, it's good I like Ozark So I'm enjoying that

You can't watch together though at the moment Weekends No gold here No No Trying to find the gold I'm a bit bored, really Have you ever pushed someone?

Have you? In general? Yeah. I think so. Have you ever used those cartilage-like nails to scratch anyone? Yeah. There was another girl that I was friends with, but she got on my nerves.

She no longer draws breath. She said something about my brother, so I pushed her into a locker. Oh, no. What happened to her? She was pushed her into a locker. Oh, no. What happened to her? She was fine. She started crying. No, dramatic.

Get over it. This was in year nine, and I may have left some nail scratches. That does not surprise me. Your nails are very long. Yes, and okay, you've struck gold with my nails, right? Yeah. I went to the dermatologist when I was about 16 to get my nails checked because the skin under is weird.

Yeah. And I was like, because I can't cut them short or they'll bleed. Oh, that's not why I make the joke, Jenna. But they have to be long. Apparently I have cat nails. Show me, Jenna. They're claws. Because they've got what, like a...

You can't call them cat nails. That's not a thing. They're claws. They've got skins on. They've got,'t call them cat nails. That's not a thing. They're claws. They've got skins on. They've got, like, skin in them. Yes. Can you put the mic down and do a little tap? Yeah, do ASMR. I don't even know if that does it justice.

Like, they're very long. You look like a little... When you see hamsters eating a piece of carrot. Well, it was a very self-conscious time for me growing up with them. I'm sure. Especially when you have to do netball and you have to show them how short your nails are.

You get told off for having long nails, so you have to put Band-Aids over them. You go, I'm half cat! Jenna has claws, we have strut goals. My dad's a tabby. How else have they affected you? In so many ways, apart from netball. Okay, all the cool girls had short nails when I was growing up.

And you tried to cut them, but they'd just bleed out. Yes. So one time... It's not funny. No, it isn't, because it was a very emotional time. Sorry, sorry, sorry. So you've got cat nails. Don't call them that.

They're claws. Claws, sorry, claws. They're not claws. They're feline or something. Okay? Cats don't have nails. They have claws. They have claws.

That's science. I don't know whether the dermatologist said dog or cat. In either case, they're claws. Also, every time we record, you insist we have a saucer of milk near the microphone. But yes, my nails, it's a sensitive topic. So it's an insecurity. Yes, because I can't cut them short. And here I am making jokes.

I reckon you should embrace it. It's funny. It's not funny. Look how... Wait till you get a partner and you can scratch them up and down. That'd be so nice. They pull up really high. They do.

Okay, well, I think we're done on that. 100%. Jenna, well done. I've got something else to add. Oh, well, should I turn the music? I'd like to do a little call to action for our listeners. If anybody else has similar nail problems to me, please reach out. We could maybe even form a little Facebook group.

Aww. They could have a communal scratching post that they made up at. Yep. This is what I had to grow up with. Yep. You could call it the nail files. Get it? Do I add?

Do I? You idiot. That's all. Should I add long nail jokes to the list of no-go zones? I'm sensing you don't have a sense of humour about it. No, I don't. No, she doesn't. Damn it, because there's so many springing to mind. Also, I'm not going to lie.

Like, Australian nails would be a great jingle. No. You reckon? No. Okay, sorry. We've gone way over time already. Sorry, Brent. Jenna, we love you, we support you no matter what,

all jokes aside. Let's put a nail in that and talk about it later today. I hate you all. Okay, so just recapping, that was the final edition of Gold Digger. As far as us three are concerned, we could do it with a guest. Who knows? I agree.

I actually found the segment really cuticle. You are fucked. I'm sorry, no more. The look on her face. I hate you. Sorry, no more. No more, no more. So just recapping, we learned about Mitch, that you stalked the perimeter of your boyfriend's

university in order to match him on Tinder. There wasn't much personal stuff. Mine was all relationship-based. I don't want people to think that's all I am. And then we learned that Jenna is... A cat. A cat. No, that Jenna has very long nails.

Correct, and a tail. And it's not necessarily in her power. Yeah. Don't say. A tail. And what have we learned about me? Not much. You know what?

I had so many messages saying we loved your gold digger. Oh, show me one. I'm not showing you my phone. COVID. I'll social distance from it. Take a screenshot. I will. I'll airdrop them to you.

I don't believe it. You always claim you have so many messages, but you literally put in our Facebook group, who loved Mitch's interview? No one. Mitch Nation loved it. Well, they kept that to themselves, didn't they? Yeah, well, What can you do

Shout out to Mitch Nation once again And yeah what a great episode Thanks for listening guys We're back next Monday Don't forget subscribe if you're listening On the Apple Podcast app Or follow on Spotify I do have to say next week

I don't even know if you know about this Mitch But we have a brand new segment And there will be a guest on the show And that's all I'm going to say on that. There'll be an interview of some sort. There'll be a brand new segment and a guest or is the guest involved in the brand new segment? You'll just have to wait for next week, everyone.

What? If Mitch is confused, guaranteed I'll be too. I'll have to clear it back up. We'll talk off the air. Don't you worry. Okay. I'd already mapped out what we were doing next week in my head, but that's all right. You've got something planned. You'll love this. Jenna, we love you't you worry. Okay, I'd already mapped out what we were doing next week in my head, but that's alright. You've got something planned. You'll love

this. Jenna, we love you. Great segment. Okay. See you, everyone. Bye. So many puns. What a perfect ending. Alright, see you guys. Bye. Welcome to ADD Brief, the bonus bit at the end where we talk shit unscripted. And we go down very weird tangents often. We do.

And often when the show's long, we have to keep it short. Well, that's another case like today, isn't it? Yeah, it is. What have we even done? It's been a big show. I've forgotten. It has been a big show. Well, I screwed us up because I did like an Is It Just Me? and Idum at the start of the show. Yeah, you did. I shouldn't have done that. But been a big show. I've forgotten. It has been a big show. Well, I screwed us up because I did like an Is It Just Me? and Idjim at the start of the show.

Yeah, you did. I shouldn't have done that. But it was good fun. Sometimes the best shows are the ones that sort of blow out. But today, probably exception to the rule. We did straight talk. That was fun. Yeah, we did straight talk. Straight talk was great. Actually, Petho's still here. Should we see if he wants to pop on in? Why is he always here so late?

Come on in. Yeah, look at him. He's the only person on the other side of that glass. What exactly does he do? Tessa, we're just finishing the show. Do you want to come in? Boom. Come on, big dog. He just says, he claps his hands and goes, boom.

I want to know when I'm meant to do that. Hi, Pez. So you just clapped and went, boom. When do I do that? Oh, that's just... Excitement. Open to interpretation. Whenever you feel like a boom is required.

Interesting. So say, for example, we are, I don't know, let me just set the scene. Say we are at a bar, right, and it's you and it's me and we're there and I'm a girl. Why don't you say, you be the girl, and say, why don't you come back to my why don't you come back to my house just say just say why don't you come back to mine oh i'd love to you just run off to the bathroom i don't think you're the boys also it sounds like you're

at a carnival i don't think you i don't think you do solo booms, Chief. You boom to someone else. Really? In response to something. Yeah, to others. I assumed that was to Jenna, so that's why I accepted it. Yeah, of course. But you wouldn't do it to yourself.

No, no, you'd never boom yourself. It'd be more like a fuck you, the boys. That's what I'd go with. Big boy. Big boy. No good. Oh, we just got a tweet. Who's this?

I love the addition of Pefo. Who said that? Alicia Keys said that. Oh, again. Again, tweet. Who's this? I love the addition of Petho. Who said that? Alicia Keys said that. Oh, again. She loves you. She does. Helen Mirren listening to the show. Listening live.

We've got a lot of tweets coming in. We have live tweeting, Petho. It's a new tech that only our podcast has. Yeah, no, I'm across the podcast and the live tweeting. What were you doing out there when we just dragged you back in here again? Well, I was scheduling music. Is that your job? That is my job.

Interesting. Yes, it's very fun. Unless she keys, she's tweeting me because I played underdog. She says, thanks for playing that, Perth. Yeah, no worries.

So if Kiss goes off air right now, who looks after that? Because you're usually the one that is kind of keeping an eye on things. That'll be me, but I'll get a text message as soon as you're off air. Oh, is that how it works?

Someone out there waiting for you. How long do you have to be off air before'll get a text message Oh is that how it works Someone out there Waiting for you How long do you have to be off air Before you get the text message Seven seconds Seven seconds Yeah Oh that's not much at all

The other night Pertho and I had our version Of the Titanic It was pretty bad Yeah it was bad Nothing we did It was completely out of our control Mitch took the whole country off air

Did I There was a power outage In Perth I'm pretty sure Really Yeah It was bad My show didn't get to air Not Really? Yeah. It was bad.

My show didn't get to air. Not your best work, champ. It was not my fault. Champ, yeah. Come on, Chief. You're fucking good. Alicia Keys just took it all back. Hang on, shut up. What happened?

We had backup tape play for a little bit. Maroon 5 Memories. What is the backup tape? Maroon 5 Memories is the first song. I don't know after that. If you're off longer than Maroon 5 Memories, there's issues. Yeah. I worked at a regional station when I lived back home

and we had backup tape on air for 94 minutes without anyone realising. Oh, no. Everyone just sat around and went, great mix today. That's not good. Great mix today. Loving the commercial-free marathon. No, it was just backup tape.

Earlier this year, WSFM had 12 minutes. Of backup tape. Yes. So it was solid rock played on repeat. Oh, you only have one song on the backup tape. We wouldn't allow that sort of nonsense at Keith. You can't. No, Keith's bad.

Yeah, come on, Keith. 45 minutes worth on Kiss, Jenna. Good for you. So after that, it just starts again? Yeah. Well, that's pretty much Kiss anyway. Yeah, exactly right. Oh, turns out I dance, monkey.

Here we go. Oh, what a nice surprise. I'm not going to shit mouth my personal brand. Peth, I don't think you should either. No, no, no. I'm a big fan. We're very grateful to be working here. Oh, shut up.

Oh, God. We're allowed to make jokes. You're telling me. You're really burnt after those fangirls hated you, aren't you? Bougie, we are. Aren't we ever. Anywho, guys, what a great show. We really should keep this short.

I hate it when you do this. I see his eyes darting over on the fucking screen looking for the next sound effect. Scott Cam. What's a bet? What does that mean, Scott Cam? Well, you have Scott Cam sound effects on there like, tools down.

I don't have Scott Cam? Well, you have Scott Cam sound effects on there like, tools down! I don't have Scott Cam. Yes, you do. That's Gary from MasterChef. What made you think that was going to come in handy? Because last night on the show I had the new judge, Melissa Leong, and I was like, Melissa Leong's coming up. Oh, we have a new intern here. His name's Gary.

Gary, how long till Melissa? The poor boy. I lost his job not long ago and I employed him. I thought that was very funny. Do you have any Is It Just Me's you want to throw in? Anything you've got? Is It Just Me or is Lego Masters the greatest TV show on the planet? Are you guys across it?

Oh, is that the Hamish and or Andy show? Hamish. And it is phenomenal. It's like MasterChef, but for Lego, right? Yes. I also like MasterChef. Me too. Is it not a kids show? It sounds like it should be. No, it's an adult show. It's an adult showf, but for Lego, right? Yes. I also like MasterChef. Me too. Is it not a kids' show?

It sounds like it should be. No, it's an adult show. It's an adult show. Is it? But kids would love it too. Yeah. They're so nice. Yeah, they are very nice. All the contestants.

She's like, I want to take you home. I don't even know what the concept is. What is this show? Well, your teams, like say me and Mitch are a team, and then they're like, you've got 18 hours to build the best Lego building of all time. And they come out with the greatest buildings of Lego blocks you've ever seen. Wow, okay. And then this guy got eliminated. He was doing

it with his grandma and he cried and he was like, this has been the best two weeks of my life because I got to build Lego with all my friends. You just want to hug them. I can't imagine the appeal in building Lego. Hayden and I drove to Lego. Hayden and I drove to Lego.

What? Hayden and I drove to Kmart the other night, and we bought a $90 Star Wars Lego kit. Because I'd never watched Star Wars. He likes it. He made me watch it. And then he's like, why don't we build? I said, why don't we build Lego?

What did you get? The Death Star? Oh, my God. Couldn't do the Death Star. No way. The Millennium Falcon? No, they didn't have any millennium falcon they only had some jar jar binks restaurant so i had to build the cantina yeah it was very cantina-esque and then there was some stormtrooper it was fun and then i and i dropped it and gave up me and jenna actually

have some news we want to break to you both yes yeah we can get rid of the funeral so sorry so since episode 12 of this great podcast, I'm number one fan, I gave Jenna the task to every episode mention a bird. What? In one of her sentences. Are you joking? So it started in episode 12, I believe, with albatross. It did.

And then I don't know what we went on from there. You're joking. But every episode since. It was then cockatiel. Cockatiel. Hold on, when was episode 24? I can't remember the context, but I remember you saying Cockatiel and both Mitch and I just said, what the fuck?

Yeah, I remember that. Jenna, we also said Albatross today. Yes. Well, today we had a contest to see who could name the most birds in my older segment. When I said Albatross. Yeah, you kind of ruined that. Yeah. What are the odds?

I did think, why are they going on about birds? I thought so too! They just kept saying birds. They kept saying ibis and I didn't know what was going on. Ibis, and they just kept firing them off. But the first one, if you go back and hear the first one, it's fantastic. What was the first one? I think it was albatross.

Albatross. And Mitch was being an idiot and she's like, stop flapping around like an albatross. That's exactly right. Oh, my God. I think I do albatross and Mitch was being an idiot and she's like, stop flapping around like an albatross. That's exactly right. Oh, my God. I think I do remember that. God, you guys are dumb. I got a laugh from both of you.

Yeah. That's rare. I'm going to have to go listen back. So was it from episode 12 or 17 always? It's a good question. Because 12 was like last year. Yeah, I reckon then 17. Okay.

Well done, Peta. That deserves a real sound effect and a real round of applause. And I'm glad that's off our chest because it's been fun. It's been hard to... So are you really a cat or is that a bit too? No. Oh, not a bit. Oh, you missed that.

I missed that. We can't go into it. We did gold digger on Jenna and the gold that we uncovered is that she has claws, not fingernails, been diagnosed by a finger doctor, so to speak. Is that true? Yeah. No.

She can't cut them any shorter or they'll bleed. But to be fair, to be fair, I told you how sensitive this topic is. Yeah, you've crossed the feline. I am! You're so funny. Anyway. Hang on.

We can't just gloss over the fact you have claws. Okay, I went to the dermatologist when I was 16 because I wanted to know why I can't cut my nails short because they bleed. I was told that I have nails like a cat or a dog. But I pointed out dogs and cats don't have nails. They have claws. The dermatologist didn't mention claws.

And then to which Jenna said. What? So funny. Yep, we get it. Come on, Chief. We get it. Oh, God. When we went into that segment, I never thought we'd leave.

Finding out that Jenna's a cat. Yep. So every time, every netball game I had, I was sent off the court. You should have heard it. We got in a massive fight. I was mad. Jenna was mad. Here's a cat. Yeah, so every time, every netball game I had, I was sent off the court. You should have heard it. We got in a massive fight. I was mad. Jenna was mad. Here's the audio.

Oh, that would have been so funny if my fader was up. Here's the audio. No, let's not. That wasn't that funny. Big dog and cat. You're not a big dog. No. Who's that?

What does a dermatologist just do? Senator Penny Wong. A dermatologist is a dermatologist just do? Senator Penny Wong. A dermatologist is a skin doctor, right? Yes. Yes. Wow. Jenna, I don't understand why you're not rolling with it. Like, that's fucking funny.

Yeah, that's cool. Just tell everyone. Like, that can be whenever you're at- That'd be my Tinder buyer. Yeah. I'm a cat. Yeah. Or it'd be at one of those things where, tell the group something about yourself.

Yeah, 100%. I would just be like, my fun fact would be that I'm a fucking cat. Like, I've got claws. What is your fun fact? God, I always make a mental note of my fun facts, and then when someone asks me on the spot, I forget it. What is my fun fact? I reckon Mitch's is I weigh over 130 kgs.

That's not the fun fact. That's just a part of life. What is my fun fact? Jen, as if that was funny, please. You and your sandpaper tongue. We couldn't even find any fun facts about me last week anyway. On the Bougainvillea video guy? No.

Bet you didn't say that. No, I've never said that. Really? What about everyone else? What's their fun fact? You're a cat. We know that. That's fantastic.

Thank you. I think it's good gear. You've got to embrace it, Jenna. I don't. I don't think it's good gear. I think it's very good gear. I used to have it, Jenna. I don't. Yes. I don't think it's good gear. I think it's very good gear. Yeah. I used to have one.

I don't remember what mine used to be. Didn't- Pepo just said it. Oh, I remember what mine used to be. I used to say it all the time. My dad owns Yellowtail Wines and I'm rich. Doesn't own it, mate. Doesn't own it.

I was born with one lung because I was. Were you actually? Yeah, I was. Born two months preemie and the left lung wasn't there. It wasn't developed. Oh, but you have two now. Yeah, of course. Well, two months preemie and the left lung wasn't there, it wasn't developed. Oh, but you have two now. Yeah, of course. I remember in primary school.

Well, like a transplant or something. Or did it just grow? No, they just put me in an incubator and they just like recreate the utero and then they just build you again. But they kept me in there for a bit too long. That's why the size is a bit off. They're like, Michelle, Mark, your son will be underweight his whole life. And then I think they got the wording wrong.

Because it's clearly the other way around. Oh, gee. Gets you every time, doesn't it? When did you first notice the bleeding claws to be a problem? Oh, don't. When I was about seven years old. Wow. Did someone cut them for you before that?

Yes. You're like a guinea pig. I had a guinea pig and you couldn't cut its claws too close to the bloody root or it would squeal. Yeah, that's the same as me. That's you. So you could even be a guinea pig. Oh, no.

Is your favourite musical Cats? I really do love the musical Cats. I haven't seen the movie. I don't intend to. I just like the... She's getting a bottle of milk out. Jenna, put it down. Jenna!

That's terrible, dude. Now she's... Oh, her collar. Put it off. Take it off. It's her bell. Yep, we get it. Oh, stop it!

She's heating up her fancy face. You're not meant to heat it, Jenna. So funny. Keep going. If you heat it, it'll explode. Get it out. Okay. Enjoy it.

Cool. God damn. Do you have microwave sound effects? That's what needs to be discussed. You just don't need to do it while we're doing the show. Anyway, cheers, everyone. Do a good show. Should we get out of here?

Yes. Will you refer to your firstborn child as my first litter? No. Yes Will you refer to your first born child as my first litter? No Anyway, today's been great, let's go Did you just say, hold on, I wasn't there Did you just say, will you refer to your first born as my first litter? Where were you? I don't know where I was mentally

Okay Yeah, I said that That's very fucking good I think we should give one chocolate wheel prize away with Petho here Don't you think? Okay Oh yeah, of course. Why not?

So we've got Lyndall coming out of... Where is she? I can't read that. Oh, Baradun. Where's Baradun? We don't use Kyle and Jackie O's birthday wheel, by the way. We've got our own. Yeah, we do.

So give it a spin, Petho. Well done. You tell them what they've won, Petho, once it lands on a prize. Jenna, you go first to show them. Okay. Number six, what have they won? An expired lint bunny. Jenna, you go first to show them. Okay. Number six, what do they want? An expired lint bunny. Oh, nice.

Sounds like a great prize. Yummy. Fantastic. Okay, we're going to Trent coming from laceration. Oh, that sounds like an illness, but hey, it's on the central coast. Let's get you a prize, Trent. Number nine, what do they want, Peth? A one night with Catwoman.

Oh, there you go. The perfect night out. Number nine. What are they one, Pefo? A one night with Catwoman. Oh! There you go. Yes. The perfect night out. All included. And she doesn't shed. All right. Well done, everyone. Yeah.

Good stuff. She's not vibing it. No. I'm telling you, you've got to roll with it. It's actually the funniest thing. Yeah, it's so funny. Jenna, I actually think if you embraced it, you could get merch made. Okay, cool.

Bye. Jenna. Anyway. Sorry. You big ibis. Oh, even the personal jokes don't work with her. She's cracked it. She's upset.

Jenna's off. Has anyone got a ball of yarn? She can play with that. Cat's cracked it. She's upset. Jen is off. Has anyone got a ball of yarn? She can play with that. Some catnip. Some skim milk. Oh, I wish a magpie was in here. Snap you. Goodness me, Jenna.

No, you'd pounce. Jesus, the air con on here? I feel like I'm on heat. That was a bit gross, wasn't it? That was stupid. Yeah, I didn't like that one. Feline was funny, crossing the field line. Thank you. That was very good. I liked that. No, it wasn't it That was stupid Yeah I didn't like that one Feline was funny Crossing the field Thank you

That was very good I liked that No it wasn't that great Now It's been a pleasure Next week on the show Like I said in the main show Special guest coming on

Mitch doesn't know about it And to be honest I don't know about it either Honestly I don't know how to feel about this I don't think you've ever just Put something on the show Without letting us know Should I give the name What do you mean You don't know about it Well about this. I don't think you've ever just put something on the show without letting us know.

Should I give the name? What do you mean you don't know about it? Well, I know what's going to happen, but let's just say I don't know where it's going to end up. I don't know who's coming on the show, but I know someone is. I've got about eight options. Well, I'll tell you, Jenna's had a litter and she wants me to give them away on the show. There's nine of them. Should I reveal the name of the segment?

If you want, it's up to you. Let's just do a little throwback. Who remembers the time that we almost called the owner of a missing budgie? Very similar to that, but zero animal cruelty involved. Well, thank God for that. Yeah. It'll be animal cruelty free. Better be.

That was not a good one. No, that wasn't good. Did you listen that far back, Pev? No, that sounds preemie. I don't blame you. Any last words, Jenna? Oh, come on. I need to get snappy.

Back next week. She's got to go home and trim her whiskers. Leave her be. Shut up. Now, your tongue, is it like got razor blades on it? No, it's just my nails. Okay, all right. Gosh.

What's for dinner? There's so many coming to mind. Yeah. No. Has anyone... I just... Sorry, before we go, I can't think of the name. Talk show host in America.

Here we go. Is it Jimmy Kibble? I can't think of it. Kimmel. Sorry, Kimmel. I'm getting mixed up. That wasn't funny. I thought it was, Bethel.

Oh, that wasn't the best. All right. Thank you for coming on, Petho. Thanks, team. Thanks for joining us, Petho, from Hiss FM. Oh, no. Hiss FM. H-double-I-S.

Keep it hiss. Sydney's number one hiss music station. Keep hiss loud. Hiss 106.5. Your at-home entertainment. Keep hiss loud. X 106.5. Your at-home entertainment. Keep his loud. Oh, my God. Boom, boom, boom.

This is X. K-I-I. She isn't doing it. She's playing it up. I'm done. Okay, she's happy now. Yeah, exactly. Oh, she's rubbing up against my leg.

All right, see you next week, everyone. Thanks for listening, guys. Bye. Is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app. Or follow on Spotify.