Is It Just Me? - #27: The Musical Edition of IIJM

Episode Date: May 10, 2020

Someone left a piano in the studio & we got carried away... Also in this episode: We need to protect Britney Spears at all costs (07:11)Does looking at the sun make you sneeze? (13:51) Talkback Tingz - stuck on air with nothing to say (23:58) Our "secret segment" ADDebrief (45:54)Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. A surge in young people inhaling the gas from cooking canisters known as mains to get high. Some things make more sense than others. I've done everything for you. I've put my career on hold. I could have been anything if I'd had the talent. Brace yourself for observations you didn't ask for. This is leadership. I think he's one of the greatest leaders we've ever had. Do you?

Yeah. Well, goodo. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Should one of us be Mitch and the other be Mitchell just to make things easier? You're Mitch. I only call you Mitchell when you're being annoying. You always call me Mitchell.

Oh. Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coon. Here we are. Hello, guys. How are we? Here we are once again. Back again? Oh, now here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Here we are. Hello, guys. How are we? Here we are once again. Back again.

What show is it? Is it 27? I think it's 27. Wow, we're getting up there. I feel like we've done more. Yeah, it does. It really feels like we've been doing this since like October last year. Yeah, God, wow.

Surely we've done 50, right? Jenna, what do you think? You've lived longer than us, so this is a very small fraction in your life. I don't know. I wasn't even listening. Why is there a keyboard in here? Oh, yeah, Mitch, over this side of the desk there's a piano. Is there?

Oh, shit. That's a full Casio. So they brought it in here for Kyle and Jackie O. We haven't actually done the segment yet. I'm sure by the time this podcast is out, I will have made a video about what happened with this piano on the Kyle and Jackie O Facebook page. But I think Kyle's playing it, like he's learnt piano in ISO or something.

But yeah, it's just kind of in the studio. Can you play? I used to actually. Okay. I can. I used to always daydream when I was doing piano lessons about in years to come when I've made new friends that don't know I play piano,

of just walking up to one at a house party and just start playing it brilliantly. But I wasn't committed enough to lessons and practising to actually get very good at it. Piano's hard. Yeah. What can you play? I can actually play.

Can you hear that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's put my mic to it. What are you going to try and play for us? Let's see. Let's see. Can you hear me there? Yeah, I got you.

All right. Well, I don't know. I used to play Christmas carols at the Bougainvillea Community Hall. Lovely. Silent Night. Oh, there's no sustain pedal. The sustain pedal makes it echoey, so this is going to sound a bit weird. Okay.

Yeah. I won't get too carried away. Keep going! No, keep going! Encore! Encore! My teacher used to get so pissed off at me for not reading the music because I'd rely on muscle memory.

Oh, you can't do that. I reckon if I look away, I can remember some of the songs I did at piano lessons. Okay. Just look me directly in the eyes. It'll inspire you. Okay, that's the starting note. Ready? Yeah.

Oh, God. No. Oh. Oh! Oh, it's like riding a bike. Oh, it's a new one. Oh, Lyndall would be so proud. Nah, fucked it.

Sorry. Like a young Elton. Beautiful. I actually. That was weird. Every time I looked at the keyboard, I'd stuff up. Yeah, I was watching you. You was like Ray for a little bit there.

Who's the guy that closed? Who's the blind one? Huh? Ricky Martin. What's his name? Who's the blind one? Ray Charles. Ray Charles. You were very Ray Charles because you were looking up into the sky um i actually played piano in primary school jenna i will never go can you play it too jenna shit

i'll just go last okay saving the best till last go jenna Yeah, what is it? I don't know. Oh, beautiful. All I can pay attention to is the claws clicking on the keys. Oh, listen to the claws, ready? Is that Rugrats, though? Yes.

I can hear the claws, too. All right, hop off. I want to play. My turn, my turn. I didn't realise that we all played piano. Yeah, we're all very musical. Did you do lessons too, Jenna? Yes, I did.

Okay. Ow. Alright, move off, Jenna. My turn. I'm actually going to dedicate this to you, Jenna. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I'm going to dedicate it to you, so go ahead and get ready. I have a bit rusty.

I haven't played in a while. This is my ode to Jenna. It's turned on? Okay. Hold on. N is my ode to Jenna. It's turned on? Okay. Nervous, don't. From Cats, the musical. Nice touch. Memory.

Any new listeners, we discovered on the show that Jenna's nails are permanently long because they are in fact cat claws. She can't cut them short or they'll bleed. I'm so nervous.

A time I knew what happiness was. Memories live again. My hands are shaking. It's me. It's the way that you leave me. All alone with the man. I'm a operatic singer. Oh, God, man. He can talk and play.

How talented. And I can, ready, ready, I can even play myself an applause. Miraculous that you found a sustain pedal as well. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was on the floor, everyone. Okay, that's enough piano playing from you. Frigging idiot.

Oh, my God. I'm sore. Well, if that wasn't fun enough, we've got a fun show coming up, people. Let me tell you. If it's your first time listening, this is just me. I'm Mitchell Turi. That's Mitchell Coombs. That is our...

Our pest. Our pest. The Angelical Jenna... What's your name? Our pest, Jenna. Our pest, the angelical Jenna. What's it called? Jellicle Jenna. Jellicle Jenna. I like that. Jellicle Jenna. It's got a ring to it.

So if it's not your first time listening, this may be your favourite segment. We did a poll on our Facebook group, actually, and Talk Back Ting was number one as the favourite segment. So Talk Back Ting is where we listen to bits of gold that we found on Talkback Radio and then try and learn from it. Because you're an FM radio guy, so I am. Like, Talkback, very, very different to what you're used to. Yeah, there's a magic to it.

Like, because it's live, they take anyone and they have a real rapport with their callers, which I love. They all know each other by name and one of them dies because they're all of a certain vintage. They do. We're starting the show tonight. Memorial to Dot Cabbings. I've heard so many of those.

Dot Cabbings would call it. It was so cute. But they go on for so long. It's a long walk. They never end. Well, there's none of that happening in this episode. Don't worry. We have called Talkback Stations before, but another challenge for you coming up later on. Exciting. Also, if it is your first time listening, we start the show with our Is It Just Me's.

It's the core of the show. It's the backbone. It's basically something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. We both do one each. We don't tell each other what it's going to be. You go first this time. Go for it. What's in yours?

Anything you can hook us with? It's something that I thought everyone went through, but turns out not many people actually do, and I'm in the minority once again. Okay, good to know. Mitch is next. I'll go first. The first Is It Just Me of the week. Is it just me or...

Should we all collectively be a tad more worried about Britney Spears than we currently are? I'll leave her alone. I want to leave Britney alone. Leave Britney alone. And this is coming from a place, Jenna actually sounds like the original. I love it a bit and I've always loved her and I am a massive supporter. And then hearing about all this stuff about Britney and the conservatorship that she's

got and that her dad and her sister are in charge of her body autonomously, it's nuts and I feel for her. But whoever is letting her make videos like this need to stop. Hi, guys. I'm in my gym right now. I haven't been in here for, like, six months because I burnt my gym down, unfortunately. I had two candles, and, yeah, one thing led to another, and I burnt it down. So I'm in here, and I only have two pieces of equipment left,

and I'm going to show you guys what I do during this time. Burt made Jim down, unfortunately. Yeah, Brittany, that's unfortunate. One thing led to another. She makes it sound like it's nothing. She's like, oh, but anyway. But the thing is, I've been to your house, Mitch. You've got like six candles going at once.

Well, at least. Do we think like there was arson involved or something happened? Who knows? She might be one of those celebrities that's used to having everyone pick up after her. She just thought one of her minions would blow them out. I don't know. Why would she put it? Then she continues with a four-minute video of her doing burpees.

Yeah, like, that was just a by the way. A precursor. It wasn't the main focus, but that's what everyone's picked up on. There's another video on Britney's Instagram that I watched it. I remember when it came out, and I watched it i thought oh this is great but then hayden was like oh have you seen that video of britney spears snapping her ankle on instagram oh and i said no oh apparently she's doing it where she's dancing like a lunatic too you know when you give like a niece or a nephew like red cordial and they just yeah yeah like very honey boo boo she was just doing that

and she just snaps her ankle and falls to the ground i'm gonna get it but you know what i remember seeing this meme a while ago that stuck with me it was like a video um that someone reposted from britney spears just her twirling around on her balcony looking at the beach and it says i love this woman look at her unproblematic doesn't have any beef with anyone not causing drama she's just in her own little world and i'm like she's just happy in her own little bubble. Leave her alone. Now, I'm not as educated as maybe I should be, but I know there is stuff going on. Like, she has no autonomy of where she can go and what she can do with her money.

You should actually listen to the podcast Britney's Gram. It's essentially what we're doing now, but they're, like, fully qualified journalists. They just sit around and their guilty pleasure is analysing Britney Spears' Instagram. And they did this whole episode on the conservatorship thing and how she was deemed mentally unfit to make her own decision and so her dad controls her.

It was very heavy, actually. I feel for her. Yeah. Britney, if you're listening to this, we love you. But in saying that, can the two of you come over here? I want to show you the video. I want to get your live reaction. Oh, gosh.

Come over. Social distance, too. I'd like to represent our listeners who can't see this right now, so you go watch it. I'll ask any questions that I have. Because we want your reaction to the footage. I don't want to watch it. With all due respect, I don't want to watch it, so you go watch it and I'll ask any questions that I have. We want your reaction to the footage. I don't want to watch it. With all due respect, I don't want to watch it. You have to watch. No.

Jenna's wheels, squeals. Oh, is it really disturbing? No, it's not. I didn't notice it and I watched it before. Ready? She's dancing very happily. She's on the ground now and she's rolling like there's a fire. Her legs are spread. She's whipping her hair. She's now twirling like a fairy she's still dancing oh was that actually it

what do you mean that's not graphic i didn't even watch i just heard it don't play it again, please. I feel sick. It is very weird that for someone who is apparently so controlled, she's allowed to post that shit on her Instagram. That's what I mean. And also, there's one other thing. I was doing some research into this because you often say that I don't research. What's up? Sorry, when have I ever said that? Oh, mentally.

You know what I do often say? You make shit up. Yeah, true. Well, this is not made up. There's an Instagram page called Brittany's Tiny Furniture. And apparently in the back of all of her videos, there is really tiny human furniture. And it's the weirdest thing in the world.

Have you seen it? No. What is it again? Brittany's Tiny Furniture. Okay. Ready? So I've got a friend, Louis Hanson. Go follow him. He has Photoshopped himself into all of her tiny furniture. Okay. Ready? So I've got a friend, Louis Hanson, go follow him. He

has photoshopped himself into all of her tiny furniture. Oh my god. It's a mini lounge. Look, Jenna. It's a mini little bouffant. There's a mini poof. I'm not talking about you, Mitch, don't worry. Do you think you could pull some strings and you know, use your little black book of contacts

to get Britney Spears on our podcast? You know what? I wouldn't rule it out because I've been in conversation with Jamie Lynn before. Who's that? The sister. Oh, okay. Zoe 101. Zoe 101. I had to halt production because she got pregnant.

This means nothing to me. Sorry. Mitch! You've never seen Zoe 101? No. What is it? It's like young Britney, Jamie Lynn Spears, and she's in college. Who was famous first?

No, not college. High school. High school. But it looks like college. She's the youngerars, and she's in college. No, not college. High school. High school. But it looks like college. She's the younger sister. And she looks just like Britney. And she became famous because of Britney. Yeah.

It was like a Nickelodeon or Disney Channel series. Nickelodeon. Nickelodeon. And they had to stop it because she got pregnant. And she was like 16. Yeah, she was 16. Wow. 16 and got pregnant.

It's like, it's cut production. It ruined everything. It ruined everything. And it was such a successful show. Oh, so you two were into it. Yeah. I'm going to get the intro because I have to. That would be like one of the Saddle Club members getting knocked up.

How devastating. Yeah, I know. Very true. But I wanted to go to that school so bad. Especially with Rico, that little surfer boy that was on the show. Here's the intro. Are you ready? I know you see me standing here.

Is that her singing? Yeah Yes you do Her voice is actually a bit better than Brittany's isn't it? Ready, ready, she gets the high notes It better be worth it, the high note, waiting this long In season three, I get knocked out Ready? It better be worth it, the high note, waiting this long. In season three, I get knocked out.

Ready? Have you ever heard this? No. What was it on? Nickelodeon. Is that a channel? You've seen seasons one through seven of McLeod's Daughters, but you've never seen Zoe 101. Yeah, it was on Freeview.

I was raised in a drought. I didn't have money for pay TV. Very true. Couldn't be watching nonsense on Foxtel. True. Anyway, we're there for Brittany. We love you. We support you.

Sorry for laughing at your ankle, but hopefully you get some danker rub on that and it's all set. Poor girl. Are you ready for your interim? Sure. Let's go. Hit it, Bradley. Is it just me or?

Do you sneeze when you look at the sun? Huh? Yes. Okay, Jenna. Great. Welcome to the minority. I mentioned that I thought more people went through this. Turns out, not many.

Wait, I think it's just you. Don't you? Should I go try? I think, Jenna, can you look out that blind? I'm pretty sure. No, definitely that won't achieve anything. So you'd know if it happens to you, right? So it's where you look at the sun and then you just feel this overwhelming urge to sneeze.

And I remember having an argument with some friends recently because, again, I thought it was normal. And they were like, no, what the hell? Well, I decided to do a bit of research and find out just exactly how many people do have it. It turns out up to 35% of people, but like as little as 17%. Oh, my God. Is that all? Yes, that's all. It's called photic sneeze reflex.

And it's quite uncommon as it turns out. So can you explain how it happens? I don't understand it. Is it just a glance? Or if you're in the car and you get some sun in your little retina? How does it work? Yeah. So it's like if you look up at the sun directly or if it catches your eyes, like not staring

directly at it. Don't recommend that. But like if it catches your eyes, it's kind of in the same direction. You just end up sneezing. And also if you feel the need to sneeze, I always look up at a light or a sun or something. Yeah, if you feel the urge to sneeze and you're like, look at the sun, it'll finish you off. Yeah. Wow, this is hot.

But anyway, it's caused by crossed wires somewhere along the trigeminal nerve, according to Google. I'm not really sure what that means. Med students listening probably think I'm stupid. to Google. I'm not really sure what that means. Med students listening probably think I'm stupid. But it's caused by sudden exposure to bright light, which makes your pupils contract. And that signal might get mistakenly sent to the nose as well, causing the sneeze apparently. So as it turns out, it's in fact not

the sun. It's just when you go from being in dark to brightness. So now that I know that this happens to you too, Jenna, I want to get my science experiment on. Mitch, turn the lights off. I don't want to do this. It's scary. I'm not doing it to you. Oh, okay.

I'm happy to put on. You've already told me that you don't do it. I'm happy to partake. Let's put the hood on, Jenna. Okay, so turn the lights off. It's like we're in Benghazi. Jenna, it might actually help if you close your eyes because then it'll be more of a rude shock.

So in my hand, I have this beauty light. It's actually Kyle and Jackie O's beauty light. Whenever I get a photo of them and whatever guest has come in the studio, I pop this beauty light on, make everyone's skin look beautiful. It's very bright, isn't it? It is bright. Ready? This is the highest setting.

No. So Jenna, I'm going to come over to you. I'm going to put this beauty light in front of your eyes and then you open your eyes and I'll see if this bright light causes you to sneeze because your pupils adjusting apparently triggers it. Okay. Alright. Turn the light off and then maybe turn it straight on Mitch because she'll

see it through her lids. Yeah, you're right. She's got thin cat lids. Can you give us a countdown? Yeah. Okay, hold on. Three, two, one. Oh, my God. Jenna, are you all right? Keep holding it there.

Keep holding. Keep holding. Oh. Okay, well, it didn't work because it's the sudden exposure that would have triggered it. So if I keep holding it there, it doesn't make a difference. I think I'm blind. Blind? I can't do this.

Jenna thinks she's blind. No, it didn't work. I can't see. How many fingers am I holding up? Your can't do this. Jenna thinks she's blind. No, it didn't work. I can't see. How many fingers am I holding up? Your pupils are still huge. I don't think they've dusted yet. How many fingers am I holding up? Six. Oh no! You're listening to Is It Just Me? With Mitchell Coombs

and G, Ellen's Let Herself Go. I need to start listening to these before we approve them. It's fine, Talyn. We've all let ourselves go. Sorry, can I put the lights back on? Yeah, it's very dark.

Go and do it. Have either of you actually put on weight since the whole coronavirus thing forced us indoors? The thing is, once you're fat, people don't notice you're getting fatter. Don't they? No, until you're dead. Until they go, oh, he really went over the limit, didn't he? But no one notices it. Well, no one says anything to me.

But I don't think i have i've said it before on the show i have one bloody graham cracker and then all of a sudden i get seven stretch marks really it looks like a dog's just mauled my back my my body just stretches out you know jurassic park when all the dinosaurs try to escape the metal cages and there's three claw marks there's another thing i've never seen, Jurassic Park. Oh, all these references, wasted. Sorry. The audience are laughing. I really... You haven't seen Jurassic Park?

No. Jurassic Park's in my top three favourite movies. Really? Yeah. God. E.T., Jurassic Park, and guess the third. Is it really that different to The Land Before Time? They're all dinosaurs.

No, The Land... I love The Land Before Time. I used to call my little sister Ducky when we were growing up. Yep, yep, yep. Yep, yep, yep. Because she looked like Ducky. You know, the voice of Ducky was a toddler. Want to know a really depressing story?

She got murdered. She got murdered at the age of like five. Her name's Judith Bath. Her name's Judith Bath. Of course, you know, because she went to. It was you, wasn't it, Jenna? Her name was Judith Bath. I still have a handful of her hair.

Anyway, you can follow us on our Instagram and Facebook at couple of Mitches if you'd like to do so. Yeah. Before we jump in to the talkback tings for the week, I need to say, did you see the, we have enduring idiots, which is our secret Facebook group. Growing in size. If this is your first time listening, you don't yet know the answer to the entry question. You're going to have to keep listening. Listening to get through it, baby. We had someone post. I thought we have to read it out. Correct. You're going to have to keep listening. Keep listening to get through it, baby. We had someone post.

I thought we'd have to read it out because it's too good not to. We had a listener post. She had a dream about us. And did you read this dream? Oh, no. I actually haven't read this yet. Have you not read it? No.

Okay, let me get it up. I looked at it and I was like, oh, too long. I'll read it later. I'm trying to find it, but so many people post in here. There was a fight about Game of Thrones and Harry Potter. They're like, Mitchell, Jerry loves. I'm like, guys, don't speak for me. Yes, I'm very glad that we've brought like-minded people together with common interests.

But it is a bit odd that our Facebook group often has nothing to do with us. They're just having their own conversation. There's a group chat with them all talking. It's unrelated to the show. They're like, oh, who's watching RuPaul? And I'm like, not me. Yeah, I know. How good was Riverdale?

S3, Ep1. Pardon me. Sheridan. Oh, God. was Riverdale? S3, Ep 1. I'm like, pardon me? Sheridan, oh God, Sheridan, Sheridan Miles, Mills, says, I wasn't going to say anything because this is so weird, but it's too funny not to share. Here we go. I have weird dreams. Full stop. Okay. Just detailed and funny stories.

And I always remember them. Oh, I'm going to get a dream sequence. I've got to do it. No, it'll set it up. Just talk amongst yourselves. Why didn't you do this beforehand? Because I didn't prep it. Oh, okay.

Stay there. I literally just thought to myself, I'd like to. Fair enough. You know what I mean? I'm liking the spontaneity of this show, just like we saw a piano there and thought, fuck it. Let's play it. Exactly.

My eyes hurt. Stop it. I should have warned. Exactly. My eyes hurt. Stop it. I should have warned you I was going to do that. The rule is I keep it a secret from him, but not you. What the hell? This will do. All right. I don't know.

That's all that was on the system. Why don't you just look up the meditation music? Yeah. Oh, yeah. From my Ida Buttrose impression. That's dreamy, isn't it? Yeah, it's close enough. Here we go.

Sheridan Mills. Last night I dreamt we were at home. I fucked it up already. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I fucked it up. Sorry. Last night I dreamt we were at some radio awards

and you guys were up for a major award. This isn't a dream, honey. It's a prediction. And we were on the following table. Well, you won. So Mitch Turi gets up first to do an acceptance speech, and you turn it into a little song skit. I mean, she's pretty accurate.

Then Mitch Coombs comes onto stage with his violin. Do you have a violin? I used to play violin. Wow, she's an eager listener. I don't even remember mentioning that. And joins in the skit. And Mitch Turi, you go and you get your cello. I don't have one, but it's a dream sequence.

So just continue. And you both do really great, funny acceptance songs, and everyone loves it. And I remember telling my husband that Mitch Coombs was a concert violinist before all this. Scene change. Mitch Coombs and Jenna are violinist before all this. Scene change. Mitch Coombs and Jenna are getting married. Oh, God.

I think, Jenna, you agreed to marry your friend for tax reasons. Sounds right. It was odd, but a lovely gesture. Anyway, I get to the wedding. Sweet, thinking you're invited. And it's at a racetrack. Of course, Jenna's rootsy in equestrian riding. To the right, there are horses parading around the ring.

And to the left, in another ring, are all the guests. And Mitch Coombs, you're there and you aren't looking great at all. What? And I say, you don't have to go through with it, Mitch. You don't. I'll talk to Jenna for you. Why would I leave it until the wedding day to realise I don't want to marry a woman? So I went down this path to a tent.

Jenna, you're in there with an auntie who is so excited for you. And a very, very fat westy dog in a tutu who's going to carry the rings down the aisle. Did she actually write all this? You're not making this up. Oh my god. I think it's your auntie's dog. Anyway, I say how amazing you look and then come out of the tent and a little flat flower girl flower girl runs up to me and asks if she can ride the westie down the aisle and i was like i'm no i

know it's fat but probably not ideal is it's a dog not a horse i haven't featured in the dream yet so i'm assuming i'm the fat little flower girl and then i remember walking back up to the parade ring and i woke up sorry to freak you out freak you out. I swear I'm an everyday normal person. I have these really random dreams every now and again. Wow. Why would we put our guests in a ring where usually horses would be kept pre-race? And why would the fat little flower girl, who I'm assuming was me, request to ride your dog? What's a little worstie?

A fat worstie? And why does she have so much say over our wedding? As if you're about to get married and a listener comes up to you and says, you don't have to go through with it. I go, thanks, that's the push I needed on my wedding day. Yeah, but we could be pals in the dream. True, the dream could be anything. I need someone to reason with me and tell me that I don't have to marry Jenna.

Yeah, very true. Like I couldn't come to that own rational conclusion myself. It's for tax purposes. Yeah, you know me, I'm an enabler. I'm like, do it, guys. Do it. You're like, do it for the content. That was brilliant.

All right. Congratulations. Thank you for sending that in, Sheridan. Well done. Don't forget to join the group, guys, if you know the answer to the secret question. But speaking of radio, time for Talk Back, Tings. I bought the radio. Right.

I've been listening to Talk Back. I found some more gold for you, Mitch. I love it. This is one of my favourite segments and one of the listeners' favourite segments too. They all rave about it. 100%. We've done the John Laws special in the past.

And this time it's like late night, middle of the night, Talkback Radio. This is my time slot. This is my hood. Oh, no. Even more graveyard shift. So the listenership is down Monday to Friday, then you get to the weekends,

you're talking to two people and it's a cat. Shit. So the idea of Talk Back to Ingres is I bring you the bits of gold that I hear and then you try and learn from it. You try and take it on board in your radio presenting, in your FM job. Very different, of course.

Very different, yeah. Now, one of my favourite things to do when I'm at home, back in the country, is listen to the first ever radio station that I worked at oh which is 1404 2pk in park oh the breakfast show was a budgie right beautiful broadcast no I used to work there I would do one day a week there instead of going to school on a Friday it was my favorite thing um anyway so a while ago last time I was at home in fact I was driving late at night on a Saturday and I heard something go to air that is literally my worst nightmare.

Even though I'm not a radio announcer, like I've had equally fucked up dreams as this listener sent in about being caught in this scenario. Yes, me too. I have. So you're familiar with timing out. Oh, the bane of my existence. Right. So a lot of talkback radio stations, they have the news start at the top of the hour

and it's up to the host, whoever's pushing the buttons, to make sure that they feel the exact amount of seconds so that it sounds smooth when the news starts. And AM stations take it seriously. Like here at KISS, the news can play at five past six. No one is listening to KISS for the news. But a lot of older people rely on AM radio as their source of news and they want it on the dot. Exactly.

They want it on the dot. They want it on the dot. So the presenters have to get the maths right. Yeah. So say the hour ends at, I don't know, 5.54. Then you have to go, shit, I need to fill. But it's never 5.54. It's 5.54 and 39 seconds. So then you've got to fill five minutes and 30.

What is that? Yeah, I know. That's my worst nightmare. You've got to fill that exact second. Don't you have to time out a bit at work? I have to time out every night because I'm a national show, so I air in multiple markets. So I have to make sure Sydney, all the Kiss stations,

whether it be Kiss Melbourne and Kiss Sydney, end, get this, this is a mindfuck, end at 8.59.01. Okay? And one of a second. The problem is I'm eight seconds delayed. So I have to. have to i know i know so when i broadcast it's actually eight seconds after it actually goes to air so i need to account for missing a oh it's a mind fuck yeah so i actually have to time out at 901 30 it's

just too much well when i heard this it was carter edwards the talkback host. It was 10.57pm. So he had exactly three minutes to fill before the news started at 11 on the dot. And so he had to stop talking at what, 10.59 and 59 seconds. Is that right? Yep. So he had a caller on the line. Oh, risky move. Well, yeah, I'm imagining that he's thinking a lot of the time you will hear on Talkback,

they'll be like, sorry, we've got to get to the news. Sorry, no, you've got to get to the news. So I'm imagining he's thinking, great. Perfect. I'll chat to this caller for three minutes, then go to the news. Yeah. But then he had to cut the call short because of something they said. And so then he was just stuck with nothing. Oh, he got a racist or something. He had to dump them. So, firstly, here's

how the call went. I do apologise. Oh, that's the second went. Okay. I do apologise, Chiara, but... Hello. Hello. Look, I'm just calling. I spoke to the young man and he asked me what I wanted to talk about. Yeah. I did say relationships and I suppose it does start with relationships a little bit,

but what it really comes back to is the drought. with relationships a little bit, but what it really comes back to is the drought. My partner, I'm at home at the moment by myself because last night my partner cheated on me because the drought has just been so hard on him. Matt, if you're out there... Hang on, hang on, hang on. You cannot mention names, Del.

Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. People will recognise your voice and people will recognise something about you and possibly could be a huge problem. Can you just cut to the chase, please, Kiara, and tell us basically the point that you're trying to make? Well, the point that I'm trying to make is this bloody drought is really screwing everyone up.

Yeah, I can understand. Sorry, Dale. I'm sorry, but I can't take it any further. Firstly, we must acknowledge what the fuck. How does the drought make it okay to be cheated on? I know, I know. Listen, I know my boyfriend slaughtered that girl, but the drought, so hard on him.

Isn't adultery one of the Ten Commandments? Yeah. Imagine if you could just get away with all of them just because it's the drought. So hard on him. Isn't adultery one of the Ten Commandments? Yeah. Imagine if you could just get away with all of them just because it's the drought. Oh, he's doing a double stint for murder, buddy. The drought. You must understand. Jesus, I know you're busy spitting in people's eyes and part and sees, but hey, George over here, don't slaughter him.

The drought. The Bethlehem drought. Bullshit. Also, I love how he's like, don't defame anyone. Go again. And she says, it was the drought. And he cut her off. Like, drought's someone's name?

Yeah, I'm really not sure why he cut her off. But for one reason or another, he did. And so he was left with. Yeah, if I were him, I would just be thinking, fuck me dead. I've got all this time to fill. So do I play a song? Nope, not enough time. It's like maybe two minutes. And I know that from working at 2pk all of that network their ad breaks are set to

four minutes you can't adjust them so it's not enough time to play ads not enough time to play a song there's no callers he's just like i've just got to fill it he has to feel that time yeah he just kind of flailed and he kind of just kept talking as though she was still there. But anyway, I'll let you have a listen. So here's how he coped with having to feel all that time. I do apologise, Chiara, but from my point of view, from my end, it could go anywhere and light a fire anywhere. So I just can't take it any further, sweetheart.

Sorry. If you want to give us a call sometime and just be a little more aware of how to be radio friendly, I guess is the words to use. My humblest apologies, because I understand that you would like to. I'll tell you what I'll do, Chiara. If you like, I will tell you what I'll do, Kiara. If you like,

I will call you on the way home if you wouldn't mind, if you would be kind enough to give my producer, his name is Zach, your phone number, and if it wouldn't be a problem that I could call you after midnight,

which is when I'm on my way home and I could get the basic story and maybe we can take it from there, from the point of what it is that you are trying to come to with your story. Uh-huh. So, oh, I see. come to with your your story uh-huh so oh i see okay let me let me then put my put uh that on hold put that number on hold and um see if we can pick it up because if if i can i will re uh uh what can i say? I can probably... Yeah, I'd like to talk to you off air if that's at all possible

because I don't want to be appearing to be totally unkind to you. I've done it before, so please don't think that... Yeah, it hasn't happened before. So I'll call you after midnight if you would so allow it to happen because I can hear that you are in need of assistance. I'll see if I can help you with that. Apologies. That's the news.

And it's 11 o'clock. I was sitting there in my car. Imagine me driving on this wide open road. This is when I was back home in the country. And I'm just going, fuck, Carter. I'm feeling you, bro. I would not want to be in that situation. He just had nothing to say or do.

That's a car crash. Also, him noticing that she's newly single. I'll give you my number. You call me. How sore do you want me to be in that situation. He just had nothing to say or do. That's a car crash. Also him noticing that she's newly single. I'll give you my number. You call me. After midnight. How many times did he reiterate the fact that he just wanted to hear her side of the story off the air? I don't know who, I don't know how old that chick that called through was, but he,

Carter is very popular with the elderly. He like goes on tour at like RSLs. Right. And he's quite popular. I mean, like as cringy as that was, I think I could do it. I think I could do it better than Carter. I mean, what else is there to say, though? If you can't play a song or play ads, what do you do? He just kept repeating himself.

Yeah, it's hard. It is hard. But I think as a radio announcer, you know that's the job. I do it every night. I don't know half the stuff I'm talking about. I was thinking to myself, wouldn't you just Google something and start reading the news or something? Yeah, that's what I think I'd do.

Here's something online. But anyway, I'm glad that you have come in with this cocky attitude and you're so confident because the challenge today for Talkback Ting is- I didn't know there was a challenge. Yeah, no, there is. There always is. Idiot, if we don't just listen to Talkback and then go, thanks for listening. I always try and make you do something to learn from it.

So over there, I've put a three-minute countdown. And after that three minutes, it's got a little radio static the whole time just to give you the effect. God, you're good, yeah. So after that three minutes, the news theme kicks in. So I want you to imagine that you're Carter and you've been thrown in that situation and you have to fill three minutes. So am I doing that scenario with that caller? No, not necessarily. But a caller's just hung up. Up to you. Just how you'd fill fill three minutes. So am I doing that scenario with that caller? No, not necessarily. Just how you would.

A caller's just hung up. Up to you. Just how you'd fill that three minutes. I don't mean an impression of Carter. I mean as you. As me. Imagine it happens to you on Kiss. You've got three minutes to fill.

But see, I have sound effects. Let's just say all your sound effects have died. Okay, so this is full. And you can't bring in me and Jenna. You're pretending you're alone, like him. Oh God, this is tough. This could happen though. You're responsible for is tough. This could happen, though. You're responsible for timing out.

This could happen to you. You never know. This actually happens to me every night when I time out my show, but I just play What's New Pussycat. Yeah, I know. You play, like, end credits music to give you leeway. You could play it for 20 seconds. You could play it for two seconds.

Sometimes I'm a minute under, and I'll go, well, people are getting a minute of What's New Pussycat tonight. I would do the same thing if I were you. Just give myself that window, that leeway. But Carter, he had silence to fill. So that's what you've got. I'm going to just put myself, I'm going to be Mitch from Kiss, but I'm going to do the same scenario

so I have at least something to hold on to. Ready? All right. So Lady Gaga's going to count you in. Okay. Let's see how you go. Okay, here we go. One, two, three.

All right. Thank you, Bernie, for calling through. Top ten bunt cakes for your Easter parade. I'll just rehash the top ten bunt cakes. Vanilla. Vanilla. Hang on. This is what you would actually do Add chocolate You don't actually have this information

I'm making it up, I'm filling No, you can't just make up fiction on radio Because that's just lies Shit So I literally have nothing to talk about Well, you'll figure it out Okay One, two, three

Alright, if you are listening for the news bulletins We'll get there in moments. How many moments? Well, keep listening to find out. What a show it's been. The number to call, 131065. The number, 131065. Also, it could be 13.

It could be 10. It could be 13 it could be 10 it could be 65 131065 call us up we're live until we hit 12 until that old clock hits the chimer until we the brass is knocked a show it's been

a show that was great a show that was great. A show that I will remember for all of time. It'll go down in history as one of the best shows. And I thought I might, speaking of best shows, give you a countdown. The best sitcom shows of the 80s. The list starts now. It's been prepared for weeks.

It's a segment that everyone is excited for Cheers! We can't forget cheers Runtime 1982 to 1993 Once again that could also be 198 and 2 Or 199 And the 3 Oh the Golden Girls

Oh my wife Lucy Loves the Golden Girls. Oh, my wife, Lucy, loves the Golden Girls. Runtime. 198, 5. 199, 2. 131065 if you have a contribution to the game. Growing pains. I'll tell you what.

My nephew, Tyler, going through the worst. Growing pains. How far is that news in? Okay, great. News on the way. The news is in okay great news on the way the news is coming full house 198 799 5 my son blake was born in 1995 i remember it like it was yesterday lucy screaming with pain and i said i said nurse, I said, we were at the local district hospital. One nurse.

It's also the receptionist. I said, you look after her. And we had him. He was premature. But we made it. Family ties. 198-2. 198-9.

Now let's go to the news with Esmerelda Jones. Wow. I love how you still managed to go a little bit over. Talked over the news theme. I made it. Impressive. Were you shitting yourself or were you just like, whatever? I shat myself after I got to the Golden Girls because how many more shows can you rattle on about?

Why did you go shows of the 80s? Because once again, I don't think you understood the challenge. Why? I said, imagine it's you and you're in that scenario. You don't have a wife, Lucy. You don't have a son, Blake. Where did that shit come from? Why were you doing shows from the 80s?

You said I could Google and I Googled. Yeah, but where does that bring in your family? That was the content. No, that was the fictional character that I create. No, I said, imagine you're you. Do you want to try it? And you're stuck on air. Do you want to try it?

Not at all. This is for you, darling. So do I have to do it again? No, you don't have to do it again. I'm I said imagine you're you. Do you want to try it? And you're stuck on air. Do you want to try it? Not at all. This is for you, Dallin. So do I have to do it again? No, you don't have to do it again. I'm just telling you, you failed. That's not a fail. But you have to pretend what you would do in that scenario, not what did you have a character name in mind when you did that? Bruce. Not what Bruce would do. Alright, I want to do it again then. I want to win.

Oh, God. Yeah, right. So I've got to be me. Do it again. Anyone that's made it this long in the show, clearly they've got time on their hands. So I guess we can waste some more time. You've got three minutes to go, God. Yeah. Put you through it. So I've got to be me. Do it again. Anyone that's made it this long in the show, clearly they've got time on their hands. So I guess we can waste some more time. You've got three minutes to go, people. One, two, three. All right, Ava Max on the show next Friday. I love Ava.

If you know Lady Gaga, you know that people often get mad at the comparison. I've made it on the show before. I have a good friend, Mitchell Coombs, hates it. When I compare Ava Max on Lady Gaga, I say, Ava Max is the next Lady Gaga. He says, you're the next fool. We laugh. Coming up on

Tuesday's show, Charlie XCX. New music out, and she's in isolation. A lot of people are in isolation because of COVID. That's what it's doing to people. It's putting us in isolation.

Hey, you like music? No, I can't do it. This is hard. That's hard. How long do you usually talk for again? I talk anywhere from like 40 seconds to five minutes. Why was that such a struggle? Because I've got no one to talk to.

I can't play sound effects. There's no content. I love the, do you like music? You've got no one else to to. I can't play sound effects. There's no content. I love the, do you like music? You've got no one else to do. So there you go. Carter did a great job in hindsight because what else do you do other than just repeat yourself? That's the thing.

Carter had something to latch onto. So I think if you gave me one thing, if I could say goodbye to a caller, if I could say goodbye to a guest, I reckon I could talk for 10 minutes. The scenario was, I thought you were good at drama games. The scenario was you're on air at Kiss, you're live, everything's chat itself, no sound effects, no callers. Yeah, can't do that. Good to know that we leave the station in your capable hands of a night time.

I'd be able to do it, but you know. What would you do? You'd probably bring the cleaners in. I brought the cleaner in the other night and then I brought the cleaner in and I won't name them. I was Instagram living and I gave away prizes on Instagram live. And I went, stay right there. I'm going to go grab something that I need for the prize.

I walk out and I go, entertain everyone on Instagram. I go, entertain them. I saw that. Yeah. And some girl was like, hi, Shelby, like shouting at her friends. Then all of a sudden the cleaner walks in and vacuums the desk and starts cleaning and he goes on live and then i run in i'm like clean i won't say his name you're on get out of here you're on live made a bit of it and then i screen recorded it and put it on my insta story the next night

mitchell mitchell yeah my family do not know I am cleaner. Wow. You said that and tagged me. People don't know. That I am cleaner. They cannot know. It's like, oh, fuck. You asshole. I'll delete it.

It's only been up 12 hours. He went, I've seen that you have many, many followers. He's like, I do. Thank you, but yes. You just named him. Oh, bleep it. Shit. Fucking bleep. Oh, fuck. Stop saying the him. Flipper. Shit. Fucking.

Oh, fuck. Stop saying the name. God. Anyway, can I do the accent? That's not off, is it? It's happened now. I'm not beeping that whole thing. At least you do have some sort of filter, though.

Look at you, like, second guessing yourself. Most people would just say the offensive thing and move on. Is it offensive? I don't know. I actually don't know. I actually don't know. You'll have to ask. Yeah, I'll have to ask. I just want you to have to bleep again.

That bleep we did on the show last week, when I listened back, it sounds worse than it is. It does. I love a good beep. It makes something sound way worse than it is. I'm going to put a beep in here. I'm going to say something really offensive. Yeah. Honestly, if you ask me, like, why would you go at... Oh, you can't say that.

Yeah, I know. You know, my take on gay marriage... No, I concur. Yeah, I agree. You shouldn't be able to do it, if you know what I mean. When it comes to abortion... What about you, Jenna? What are your thoughts?

A lot of the time I feel like murdering a lot of people, but especially this person. You might know them. We're not going to bleep that. Let's bleep that in. So you feel like murdering them or you have? I... They'll never know.

That's the best one. Your secret's safe with us, Jenna. It's been a fun show. We're back next week. You're going to have to bleep it again. Oh, my God. Stop it. Next week on the show is huge.

I actually haven't told Jenna about this, but Jenna, it could be your final show with us. Oh. Not if I have my way. Just so you know, Jenna, I've got your back. Mitch has been fighting for you. Softly Not if I have my way. Just so you know, Jenna, I've got your back. Mitch has been fighting for you. Softly. And I have been researching.

We're going to be playing Battle of the Producers. Okay. I have this new gun of a producer helping me out at nights. Gun? She's an intern. Yeah, she's brilliant. She's the big dog. Oh, a person.

Yeah, she's a brilliant, brilliant producer. She's interning one night a week on the show. And I thought, that's the kind of gusto we need here on this podcast. Nah, I beg to differ. Someone bringing fresh ideas. It's fine. Someone that can clip their cartilage. You know what I mean?

And I said, how very dare you. I brought on a perfectly capable producer when we started this show. I said, would you like to be involved? Would you like to help us out? And she said, of course. No, she's not actually produced a single thing for us. And yes, she continues to rock up, but I No, she's not actually produced a single thing for us, and yes, she continues to rock up, but I still think she's perfectly

competent as our third wheel, groundskeeper Jenna. I was convinced she was also hypoallergenic, but now that she's a fucking cat, my bloody sneezing's gone through the roof. Not looking at the sun, just looking straight at Jenna's fucking tail. So, Battle of the Producers next week, Jenna. What's going to happen? You're bringing in this bloody new intern. Similar to Hunger Games. I'm bringing in

the intern. Bring it on. Fun to the death. The way this show works is Mitch does it. We've often spoken about it. Mitch writes the log. We discuss beforehand what goes in it. We do the intro, the e-gyms, and then we have a final segment at the end. We just did Talk Back Tings last week. We did the instant interview.

Next week, Jenna, it's up to you. The stress is off me, thank God. It's off me too. You have to produce a segment. Damn it. Also, Alex, my intern, will produce a segment. We'll get you both on. We'll do both segments.

Whichever segment is the best wins and they win the role, the fully unpaid role of producer of this podcast. So, Jenna, you've got one week to get cracking on some really good shit. Mine's going to win. Is it? I'm team Jenna. I want her to stay. So you get us a great segment.

Hey, Jenna, I want you to win too. I'm all for you. I'd love to keep you here. Then keep Alex out of here. This is the rocket that you need to impress us once again. Oh, God. Hey, clip your nails on the air and I'll hire you. That's just rude.

Do you want blood everywhere? No, I don't. Alex joins us next week for the first ever Battle of the Producers. Bring it on, bitch. It's going to be fun, Jenna. It'llducers Bring it on bitch It's gonna be fun Jenna It's not gonna be If you want to leave us a review, five stars please, they're growing Yeah if you're using Apple just hit the bloody fifth star

It's easy And if you're on Spotify, you're fucking on your own Just follow us so that you get the episodes really And other people listen on other streaming services Oh there's a lot actually That's why everyone just says, where have you found your podcast? Yes iHeartRadio, Google Podcast everyone just says, where have you found your podcast? Yes. iHeartRadio, Google Podcasts, so many.

And I can safely say I've never found a podcast. What's this? Oh, it's a podcast. Where you listen to your podcast, I think is the correct grammar. Anyway, Jenna, get thinking. Mitch, I'll see you next week. Pressure's off. It's going to be a good show for us.

Next Monday, guys. Same time, same place. We'll catch you then. See ya. Bye-bye. Bye. guys same time same place we'll catch you then see ya bye welcome to ad debrief this is a secret segment hopefully we tricked a lot of dickheads out of listening to this bit by pretending the show's over yeah ad debrief is where we no focusing is required so my attention deficit disorder is at ease.

Oh, sorry. I started early. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, God. I fucking forgot that piano. Jesus, Jenna. I thought there was a great white creeping up from beneath me. That was Shakira, by the way.

Do you know what is actually the scariest thing? Is when you... Sorry, this just sums up AD debrief. We just let our fucking thoughts wander anywhere prep sheet done so what are you doing in order to make a really scary sound on the piano yeah um you just kind of do one the two notes next to each other and then you just go down gradually like this And then you just go down gradually like this.

Oh, it's spooky. Yeah, that is a bit off. Oh, I don't like that. Oh. Oh, I get bored. It's just getting worse. You know what it is? I think it's because you don't know when it's going to end.

You don't know how deep it will get. Yes. Well, it only goes here. No, I can't see that. Oh. No, I can see that can you hit this harmonize with me ready do you believe i don't know what note that was. I don't know why.

I think it was a D sharp. Can I play? I actually can play. Alright. So you actually can play. You're not going to play shit off YouTube before. Sorry to spoil your secret. I tried.

This will blow you away. Sorry. Sorry. No, sorry. You're going too high. No, you were right with the notes you started with. You're just going too high. Oh, that was it, right?

Yeah, so it's... Yeah, so it's the same four. No. There you go. Chubby fingers hit two keys, but that's all right. Do either of you know the melody to Heart and Soul? Yeah. Match that note, would you?

Or maybe, sorry, octave down. What are the lyrics? Heart and soul. Okay, what are the lyrics? Just heart and soul. You just say that again. I think you're making shit up again, Jenna. All right, I'm ready.

They can't leave anything in this. I'm going to do it. Ready? Operatic. This is the note. No, I'm going to sing the whole note. That's not even the right note. It's the only note I can sing.

It's all you're getting. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. There it is. Heart. Heart.

Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart.

Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart.

Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart.

Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart.

Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart.

Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart Start from the top. Okay. Heart and soul, I fell in love with you Heart and soul, the way you hold me madly Because you held me tight Held me tight And I love you tight. I stole a kiss in the night. I think I missed the beat.

Keep playing. I'll keep it up again that magic night we kissed. Turns out that's no good for my RSI. Sorry. That was beautiful. Fuck, we're talented. That was lovely. That was my... Can you play an opera song so I can actually sing?

Oh, yeah, no biggie. Just play a fucking opera song. What opera songs are there? Actually. Oh, yes. What's that? The Phantom of the Opera. Phantom of the Opera.

Exactly what you asked for. I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it? The Phantom of the Opera. Phantom of the Opera. Exactly what you asked for. I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it. The Phantom of the Opera is here. Oh, that's fucking good. Is it the music of the night? No, it's Phantom of the... I just searched the Phantom of the Opera lyrics and it said... Actually, what is this song called?

The Phantom of the Opera is and it said Phantom of the Phantom of the Music of the Actually what is this song called? The Phantom of the Opera is here Inside my heart Is it heart? I thought it was mind I don't know This makes me want to bring back

all my other instruments I wonder if I could play them It gets me excited but I can't My sister has my guitar I think she has my violin as well

Yeah Yeah I can play the flute Do you have this mic up very loud? I can see my levels over there and they're fuck all guitar. I think she has my violin as well. Yeah. I can play the flute. Do you have this mic up very loud? I can see my levels over there and they're fuck all. Really? Yeah. Try now. I'll just go back to my other mic. There you go. Oh, there's strings. That was fun.

How angelic. Oh my god. Okay, ready? This will happen next week. Just when I finish the beats, play that note. The winner is Intern Alex. Beautiful. Fuck, I wish I could play piano properly. That's great. Oh, it's Ray Charles. He's a great workman.

He's listening live. Is he still alive? Yeah. No, ready? This is... Oh no, I can't look at the keys or it throws me off. This is Fix You by Coldplay. Actually, they have an organ too.

No. Oh, wow. No. When you try your best and you don't succeed When you try your best and you don't succeed. When you get what you want but not what you need. When your thoughts will guide you home. Oh, fuck, I'm good. This is not entertaining for the rest of the show.

And ignite your boat. I will try to fix you. You know that bit? Yeah. No, it's lower. Yeah. There's something I brought to Is It Just Me? Sorry, the ADD brief.

Oh, that's breaking the rules. We're not meant to prepare. Sorry. No, no, no. I actually haven't done it, so I haven't prepared. Oh, okay. I just mentally noted that I wanted to do it on the podcast. I saw someone tweet out, there's a surname checker,

and it checks how many people in the world have your surname. Really? I mean, you two have the most fucking common surnames in the world. Coombs is hardly common. Really? Especially with my unique spelling. No E. True.

C-O-O-M-B-S. Jenna, what about you? They strategically wanted B-S in my last name, I figure. Oh, I never noticed that. Yeah. That's good. All right, so I'm going to search C-O-O-M-B-S. Correct.

Here we go. How many people or how many families? This is how people or what no this is is it just america or the world the world this is giving you um a ranking the most common surnames in the world out of all the surn name in the world. Oh, so there's not that many people, but that's the ranking. Correct. So what's the number one most common last name? Can you say what mine is?

Yes, I will. I've got the number of people that bear your last name in the whole world. What's that? I'm actually shocked at how little it is. Yeah, I'm telling you. 16,900. Barely a surname. I don't know if that's a lot or a little because I haven't heard any other comparisons.

How many Smiths are there compared? We'll do that next. Out of 7 billion people, though. Oh, okay. Almost eight. That's a lot. Yeah, that's not many. Most prevalent in England and the highest density is in Gibraltar.

Where's Gibraltar? Who fucking knows? Producer Jenna, can you Google that? Oh, wait. Alex Wood. Alex Wood, yeah. 50% are Anglican. I was going to Google it, but now I'm not, so.

One in 431,000 people have that name. Jesus. Crazy, huh? All right, we're ready for- I always thought I was one in a million. Ready for Benson? Yes. Jenna Benson.

So you're 16,000, let's just say. Here we go. I went on a date with someone And their first name was Benson It was very off-putting Oh that's nice Because it was your last name What went wrong? You just go on dates

And sometimes they work Sometimes they don't Oh Wow Jenna this is The 2,226th most common name in the world Oh my god That's way higher than mine

That's very common No that means that's very common Because the number one most common name Would be like That's what my God. That's way higher than mine. No, that means that's very common because the number one most common name would be like, you know, That's what I mean because mine was way down the rank. It's like, okay, wow. Jenna, there are approximately 247,000 people who bear this surname. Wow. So what is this website in case people would like to know this?

It's fourbears.com. F-O-U-R or the number four? F-O-R-E. Oh, well, okay. Good thing I asked. Number one in the United States, second in Nigeria, third is in England, and then fourth, your hometown, Tanzania. Fifth is Australia, Jenna.

Really? In Australia, there are 8,262 Benson families. Oh, wow. Let's do Churi. Yeah, go on. I've always been told of French descent. Turi is the 66,296th most common name in the world. Wow, that was a struggle for you.

That was hard. I'm going to try with my lisp. What was the number? 6-6-2-9-6. 2-9-6. Okay. So Turi is the 66,000th. It's hard. So, Cheery is the 66,000th most common name.

Fucking hell. Some tongue work went on there. He screwed it up. He just edited himself to be the best. I did not. Yes, you did. Approximately seven... I can't edit my tongue. You cut out all the bad attempts.

No, I didn't. They're all there. B*** is the the bad attempts. No, I didn't. They're all there. B*** is the cleanest name. Oh, stop it. 7,000. Fuck. 7,552 bear this surname. Most prevalent in India.

You clearly didn't go to AFTRS, by the way, because content with too many numbers, people get lost. People are lost, apparently. If you're not already lost. I'm so lost. I'm lost. If we didn't lose you in the piano. Because there were so many numbers, I can't remember. apparently if you're not i'm so lost if we didn't lose you in the piano because i already because

there were so many numbers i can't remember if we had to rank us like who's the most common who's the least common who's in the middle i couldn't tell you because i've forgotten all the numbers jenna you and me i remember also jenna's the most common correct then you then me and then you're the least common yeah um it gives random factsery demographics. The cheery political affiliation in the United States is 68% Republican. Is that the no good one? That's Trump.

Oh! No! God damn it. I thought that was fun. Oh, we're getting Miranda Kerr. Can you... It says, do my name. No, Miranda, you do it yourself.

I want to know the top name. I don't know how to do it. You just have to search it, but I'll search... Jenna, Google most common last name for God's sake. He's know how to do it. You just have to search it, but I'll search... Jenna, Google most common last name for God's sake. He's not here to do shit for you. Correct. What is the most common surname?

I'm Googling Smith. Or is it Jones? The commonest surname by number is about 2.38 million people. Is what? Is what? Smith. Yeah. Smith.

But it says Smith is the 126th most common surname. Four million people in the world have it. Oh, can we stop playing that piano? Murray's might be busted, but my knuckles still work. I think we're fucking Glee. Bloody earth. Did you watch Glee? I never watched Glee, but I'm into anything Ryan Murphy makes, I'm obsessed with.

I just finished watching Hollywood. Oh, you would love it. I'm hearing a lot of people talk about it, and they seem to brag to me like, oh, you'd love it because Ryan Murphy made it. And I'm like, he's responsible for Glee? That man's fucked. American Horror Story?

Yeah, American Horror Story. Oh, did he do that? Yep. Oh, all right, maybe he's not. He did Glee, did the assassination. The portfolio was in total trash. The Versace one? Oh, that was so good.

This is, I think, his best work. It's Hollywood in the, I think it's the 30s, but it's like what he wished, well, what would have been great if it had been. Like gay people, you know, get Oscars and black women get Oscars and it's about a movie studio that take a plunge, about many other things, but homosexual actors in the 30s in Hollywood and people of colour who

aren't getting cast in movies. It's great. I'm surprised that resonates with you, given your Republican roots. Yeah, I know, right? My uncle in America says that. You would have been like, oh, it's all a bunch of political correct rubbish. That's what my family are doing to it. You told me you deleted that sound effect.

I've still got them all, even this one. No more guns. Should I open the phone lines? No. Let's open the phone lines. Sorry, you can stop clapping now. We're not that good. I'm going to open the phone lines, ladies and gentlemen.

You can call us at any time, 189-664-30-6-4-3-0-2-9-6. I've got a question from Maya. Hi, boys. It's Maya. You didn't open the phone lines. I've been wanting to ask you this for ages. I've been trying to get it out. Don't make a noise when they open.

How did she get through? Oh, it's just my personal mobile number. It's fine. Continue. Maya, sorry. Start again. I'm helping your gag. Start again.

Shouldn't have said anything. Hi, boys. It's Maya. Wait, hang on. If you're going to do it, do it properly. You didn't do your stupid sound effect when you opened the phone line. I haven't. I've got to actually put the mic to the game.

What did you do? Phone lines are open. Oh, Maya's called through. Hi, boys. It's Maya. Hold on, Maya. Shut the fuck up for a second. How dare you say hi, boys, and not include Jenna?

Why does everyone do that? I don't think it's nice, but carry on. It's Maya. I've been wanting to ask you this for ages. I've been trying to get it out of you from your lives, and I finally can get the answer. What are your spirit animals? Good question, Maya.

Don't ask her any follow-up questions. I just don't want to talk to her. Our live, we now go live on Sunday nights. It's a new Idrim thing. It went gangbusters on Our live, we now go live on Sunday nights. It's a new idiom thing. It went gangbusters on Sunday night. And we'll go live again on Sunday. She was clearly trying to ask us the question on Sunday night. We're making this a regular thing, aren't we?

We go Insta live every Sunday? Every Sunday. Okay. I'm down if you are. But you usually spend your weekends surrounded by family being all loving. And oh, we're so Republican and cheery. Alex is on the line. Hey, guys.

I am low-key obsessed with you, I'm not going to lie, I'm listening to music non-stop in isolation. But I'm dying to know, if you had to pick someone as your ultimate hall pass, each of you have to ask them, preferably, which one would it be? Well, I'm the only one who committed a relationship, Alex. Is that your intern, Alex?

Nah. That definitely is. Oh my God. Is that your intern, Alex? Nah. That definitely is. Oh, my God. And we're getting her on next week. You think our loyal listeners won't recognise the voice? Do you get your intern to be a fake caller? Nah. That's her voice for sure.

It's not her voice. You'll find out next week and you'll realise that you were both wrong. Who's your holepuss? I do want to know. No, I really don't have one. Oh. There's no such thing as if I'm not in a relationship. Who's your hole buzz? I do want to know. No, I really don't have one. Oh. There's no such thing as if I'm not in a relationship. Who's your ultimate celeb crush?

No, I don't have a celeb crush. I think I know. Who? Callum Hood. No, Luke Hammington's five sauce. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. I know you so well.

Were you here when I had Luke Hammington's studio with me? No. Oh, he smelled divine. Yeah, no, I know. He came in for Kyle and Jackie Owen. Holy fuck. He smiled at me when he passed. Oh, that's nice.

Yeah. Must be a cat guy. I interviewed him and he was really sweet in his little hybrid accent. I'm like, talk to me about Youngblood. Well, we're so happy that the song is out now and there's many people around the world can hear it and enjoy it i'm like oh it's a weird mix isn't it yeah it's kind of like bindi owens accent hers is very irritating terry is really american but then she's got the aussie twang she's got the other half because she's lived in australia

she's full bloody yank she's a yang yeah there's some words she says that aussie yeah it or as if she's trying to be do you remember she's like fair dinkum yeah yeah she is yeah that's the best terry yeah true yeah yeah yeah crikey do you remember when we met bobo when it was our first trip with the loggies together no oh my god so you were the night with that you were staying um oh after the red carpet after we i You were staying after the red carpet, after I did the broadcast from the red carpet. You and I were like, we can finally fucking relax. Let's have some drinks.

Work is done. And I interviewed Bob on the red carpet, and he had a fucking python. And I was like, oh, how are you, Bob? He's like, Crikey, this Sheila's name is Debbie. And I'm like, you're presenting tonight. He's like, yeah, should I take her with me? I'm like, Bob, drop the facade. Talk to me, mate. Do you need me mate do you need help if you said that no i didn't but i was just like yeah

awesome let me pat it well i'm scared it was very generic and then after on the red carpet i was with a friend zoe marshall no it wasn't zoe marshall i was with another friend and um who shall not be named um a certain acronym and um we were walking the red carpet and they went oh there's bob irwin and bob ir the red carpet and they went oh there's bob erwin and bob erwin came over and he went oh can i get a photo with you bob he went yeah no worries and he got terry to take a photo of me bob and our friend the acronym thou shall not be named and we all just stood there with our arm over bob and he put two thumbs up and he smiled into the lens and then terry's like do one more we'll do one more got another one and she's like do you

want vertical okay terry then she flipped it and we got a vertical one and then Terry's like, do one more, we'll do one more. Got another one and she's like, do you want vertical? We're like, okay, Terry. Then she flipped it and we got a vertical one and then she handed me the phone and then he still had the python around his neck this whole time and then just walked

into the awards ceremony. That's nice of her that she's not too good to take a photo for someone. She was in full car key to a bloody black top, what's it called, black top dress code function.

Good dress up. They always do that, don't they? That was that, Logies that Burt Newton made that really inappropriate joke that we thought was funny. We were laughing. I always do that, don't I? That was that Logies that Burt Newton made that really inappropriate joke that we thought was funny. We were laughing.

I can't remember. Do you remember we walked in, Mitch, and we're like, it's our first Logies. Glitz. Glamour. Look at us go. Let's have a cigarette on one of those stick things. And we walk in and then we walk in and then we go, where's our table? Like, sir, ticket, please.

I get the ticket. Like, yep, you're there. Literally. With the fucking back of the entire hall. We were next to Studio 10, which is saying something. I did some mingling that night and then ended up on the show. So it was a blessing in disguise. And we sat there and we got so drunk and we were tigging in between.

Oh, God. Remember? No. Do you not remember this? No. Surely we didn't. Katrina Roundtree got up and was like, I'm here to present the award for best reality series.

Tegan! What? Really? Yeah, and in turn Pete had to look at us and go, stop it. Yeah, anyone who doesn't know what Tegan-ing is, it's a thing that I do on my Instagram story with a friend. We just pretend we're looking for a lost child in public. We just scream really concerned.

Tegan! And they watch everyone around us be like, oh God, poor thing. They've lost their kid. You did it at the Logies. I pretended to look for Tegan at the Logies. Oh, for God's sake, Mitchell. I actually think I've got footage of it.

You stupid bitch. If I can find this footage, I'm going to put it up on the Is It Just Me Instagram account. But yeah, do you remember Burt Newton made that joke about, was it Graham Kennedy? I clearly, I don't remember much from this night apparently. Jenna, you're one of those type of people. I remember he made a joke that was really controversial that I forget what the joke

was. He was insinuating that another very, very beloved Australian star was gay. Oh, yes, yes. And he would mentor young boys, but there was more than mentoring going on behind the dressing room door. And everyone was like, oh, because he's dead now, Vale. But I won't name him. You could bleep it.

What? Stop. Give me bleeps to do. You just did name it. No, I said it wasn't Graham Kennedy. Was it Graham Kennedy? I think it was. Meet you'll have to bleep it.

No, I'm not bleeping it. If Bert Newton said it publicly, people can just Google it. We can't just randomly decide that we're bleeping words. Unless there's some sort of actual rule. We have to half the defamation suit. Huh? If we get done for defamation. Why would we get defamation for repeating Burt Newton's joke?

You could bring it up on YouTube. Should I? Yeah. Well, that would be better. Than your half-baked attempt at recalling it. And then Burt Newton went up on the stage and then I was eating a bread roll and then we dance around the actual point and then he gets there and goes, I better not say it. Beep it.

No, I want to hear it. And you were doing some teaganing. Fuck, I can't believe that. Did we actually do that, Mitchell? Please tell me that's not true. Yeah, we did. I've got the footage too. Here it is.

He enjoyed giving young people a chance on television. He was a great mentor. He mentored a lot of young people. You knew that if you went to his dressing room and it was locked, he'd be inside doing some mentoring. Don Lane was a mentor

too. Yeah, that didn't land at all, did it? They were wonderful youth. Don Lane was a mentor too. He did a hell of a lot of mentoring. Yeah, that didn't land at all, did it? They were wonderful years. Now we're down this hole. Can you look up Julia Morris forgets to read the nominees at the Logies? It's so funny. I love this.

This is after she'd lost all that weight because she used to be... Was she big? Yeah, a woman of size. But now she's... And then she went out there looking all skinny. And then she forgot to be... Was she big? Yeah, a woman of size. But now she's... And then she went out there looking all skinny. Signed it. Here we go. And then she forgot to build the nominees.

House Husbands, Julia Morris. I interviewed her last week. We should put that on the podcast. Oh, gosh. She's so thin. Can you stand it? So good. I haven't had a meal since 1976, but'm still working in television and I think that's very

exciting. Ladies and gentlemen, there's an award. Oh my god, I could be here all night. I get excited. You know what I'm like. It is the most outstanding entertainment program. And ladies and gentlemen, the TV week Logie goes to... Oh! The Voice! This is the third Logie for the juggernaut that makes sure his dreams come true.

And then wait for her recovery after she realises what she's done wrong. Do they address her? Yes. Did I forget to talk about the nominees? It's live, don't tell anyone. We can cut it out later. Okay, no, that's probably why I should be presenting with a boy.

Anyway! Don't be like that. Don't be like that. We're going to talk about the nominees later when I'm in really big trouble, but... It's just inappropriate to talk about who they are now, isn't it? No, no, no. Let's pretend it hasn't happened. Ladies and gentlemen, the nominees for the most outstanding entertainment program are...

for the most outstanding entertainment program are... I'm the voice. I wish I had my glasses. Smooth recovery. It would have been more awkward if they just went on and didn't address it. Yeah. She's a very, very good entertainer, isn't she? Yeah.

So funny. We should end. Oh, is that what that music was about? Yeah. You've made the call. It's a very, very good entertainer, isn't she? Yeah. So funny. We should end. Oh, is that what that music was about? Yeah. You've made the call. It's been a long show. Great show, too. Jenna's last show, if I have anything to do with it. Oh, shut up. No, next week, potentially. But we're not going to let that happen. I said I'm team Jenna. Yeah. I'll stab that bitch, Alex, before I let Jenna be kicked off this show.

Alex is very good. But Jenna, I'm also, you know, deep down rooting for you, but I've got to train my girl to win. That's all I do. You're a horse racer. You know how it works. You've got to train your equestrian to get to the end. Yes, you are. Jenna, you know what I've realised?

He says a lot of shit about you on the show and you never clarify that it's a lie. People probably actually think that you're a swimmer, you're a horse girl, like all these lies that he makes up. Well, Petho from The Office came up to me the other week and was like, I didn't realise you swim. I was like. She doesn't.

When did I say you've swum? I don't even remember. You said something about, oh, Jenna knows what it's like to have her ears blocked from squad. She swims. And I think that was when we had Ruby as the guest host and she just goes, do you? And we just moved on. I was like, we need to start calling out the lies.

No, we don't. Because there actually are a lot. No, we don't. It's been a great week. We'll see you next time. Oh, we need to start calling out the lies. No, we don't. Because they actually are a lot. No, we don't. It's been a great week. We'll see you next time. Oh, wow. It's my wrap. Okay.

Yeah. Anything else you want to say? I'm not a horse racer. What else could we... What about a lie should we dispel? I don't know. I've got nothing to say. Oh, all right then.

I won't pull apart your stuff. Go on. No, I'd love to know. No, I don't want to. I'm not pulling apart your stuff, just to be clear. Well, wouldn't that be fun? Anyway, Jenna's got a lame horse she needs to put down. We have to go.

I don't own any horses. Oh, Jenna's mum's doing it now. She joins us via Instagram Live. Hi, Jenna's mum. Oh, she did it. Oh, God. Straight in the legs. Do you do the legs or between the eyes?

You wouldn't do a leg? Yeah, that'd be very cruel, wouldn't it? Yeah, you've got to do it in the brain, Ray. I grew up on a farm. I know all about it. Remember when you told us the story about your dog in the septic tank? I still viscerally remember that. Yeah.

Very undignified death for our old sheepdog. Yeah, yep. Just stewing in our excrement. Oh, God. It's not good, is it? Yep, nothing worse than choking on your owner's corn. All right, great show. We will see you next week.

Why don't you end us with a performance on the peony? Come on. It's called a piano. I know. Peony. Now it makes up words. Why don't you play on the peony? Come on.

Get up there. Take us out on the... Can you do this music? Hold on, hold on. Listen to the beat. Ready? No, I'll get... Hold on, no

Turn it off, turn it off I don't want to hear it Yeah Nah, wrong Okay, an F chord. That's really all I can do. So you guys are going to have to help me out with the actual singing because I'll do the piano bit. Usually we end the show by fading out, right?

Yeah. Like we let the music go and we fade. Okay, well, let's do that. But instead it'll be me playing it on here. And I'll fade out the bit. Usually we end the show by fading out, right? Yeah. Like we let the music go and we fade. Okay, well, let's do that. But instead it'll be me playing it on here. And I'll fade out the fader for this. Yeah. Okay, I'll turn my mic off. Jenny, your mic's going off too.

Why is it off again? Because I'm just using that one mic so I can fade it. Huh? I'm just using one mic so I can fade it. Oh, but you guys are going to have to talk for the wrap up. Okay. Alrighty. Let's go. Another good show, guys are going to have to talk for the wrap-up. Okay. Alrighty. Let's go.

Another good show, guys. Thanks so much for listening. See you next week. Bye. Don't forget, every Monday, Is It Just Me, a new podcast episode. Don't forget to follow us

at Couple of Bitches on Instagram and Facebook. Leave us a review. See you on Monday. Bye, guys. Is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app. Or follow on Spotify.

Are you going to fade it? Or what? Sorry, sorry. Keep going. You forgot that part. Go back in. All right, thanks, guys. See you next week.

Does it sound better if I do it down here? No. No. here? No. No. No. Thank you.