Is It Just Me? - #28: Jenna VS. Intern Alex
Episode Date: May 17, 2020It's the BATTLE OF THE PRODUCERS! Will this be Jenna's last show with us? (20:17)Also in this episode:Coombs isn't happy with Katy Perry's forthcoming album (05:43)Churi eating for 2 (13:31)Jenna on J...onesy & Amanda talking about her cat claws (17:10)Our "secret segment" ADDebrief (47:08) Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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People do some weird shit.
A surge in young people inhaling the gas from cooking canisters known as mains to get high.
Some things make more sense than others.
So I've done everything for you. I've put my career on hold.
I could have been anything if I'd had the talent.
Brace yourself for observations you didn't ask for.
This is leadership.
I think he's one of the greatest leaders we've ever had.
Do you?
Yeah.
Well, good hope.
This is Is It Just Me?
Hosted by a couple of Mitches.
Should one of us be Mitch and the other be Mitchell just to make things easier?
You're Mitch.
I only call you Mitchell when you're being annoying.
You always call me Mitchell.
Oh.
Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs.
Oh, good to be home.ooley and Mitchell Coombs.
Oh, good to be home.
G'day, g'day. How are we all?
I'm good. How are you?
Oh, you know me. A little bit shitty, but that's alright.
I was just about to say, yeah, that's normally bad. That's never normally good.
It's fine. I'm in a little bit of a foul mood, but it's fine. I'll just, you know.
I can always tell.
I've got this podcast to look forward to. It'll be fun.
Yeah, just take the one. I'll be in charge today if you want.
Bullshit.
Yeah, that's actually made you more stressed.
Speaking of stressed, oh, my God, everyone knows what it is,
including Jenna.
Oh, our third wheel, groundskeeper Jenna.
What?
It's the battle of the producers, Jenna.
Today very well could be your last day.
Oh, no, I forgot.
Pardon?
Jenna, what the fuck?
Did you actually forget?
No, I remembered, actually.
Oh, my God.
So last week on the show, we mentioned to Jenna that she has one week to come up with an awesome
segment.
We've left our segment blank later.
She will come up with a segment, and she's being put to the test because apparently you
think she's not good enough as our producer.
No, no, no.
I only realized that I think Jenna could be pulling her weight a bit more after I get this gun of an intern working on my night show at Kiss FM.
Correct.
Her name is Alex.
She's phenomenal.
Alex joins us, albeit from outside the box.
Hi, Alex.
Hey, guys.
So she's prepared a segment to rival Jenna's.
We're going to do both later on.
At what point did we just let Jenna start sitting in the studio with us?
Yeah, I was just trying to think of that.
You were very clearly locked out there.
Actually, this is a good point.
I don't remember.
We never discuss that.
Oh, you just come and sit with us now instead of the producer's pit.
But oh well.
I'm team Jenna, just for the record.
I'm sure your intern is lovely.
I've met her before.
Can she come in?
Plenty of times.
But no.
Sorry, the dramatic music has ended.
Alex, I think she should come in here.
It's only fair.
She's already at a disadvantage.
How is it fair?
Bullshit.
Jenna started out there and crawled her way in here gradually.
No way.
I agree.
And one episode, it just happened.
So, Alex, if you just find your way in here in the next three minutes,
that's what Jenna did.
Alex, if you come in here, I swear I will take my foul mood out on you.
This whole show, this whole battle.
I'm already Team Jenna.
I can easily flick the switch in my brain
that makes me a bitch.
It's so easy.
It really is.
It's terrifying.
I will scratch you.
Alex, come on in.
All those in favour of Alex not coming in, say aye.
Aye. Oh, their microphones are dead. Alex not coming in, say aye. Aye.
Oh, their microphones are dead.
Alex, come in.
Come on.
Bullshit, it's on.
Sit down.
Come on, Alex.
Come on in.
She's on her way in.
The beauty, Alex, the intern.
You're already off to a bad start.
No, you're not.
You're doing just fine.
Don't knock her down.
Anyway, so did Mitch get you from a breeder or you were arrested?
Fetch me off the side of the road.
I did not.
You're a talent.
You've got the gift of the gab.
You're natural.
And I want to see if you can do it.
You prepared a segment and I don't know what it is either, do I?
Whoever wins this so-called battle of the producers,
A, gets to be our producer on the podcast,
which is hardly a reward, or I've got red rooster vouchers.
It's up to you.
Tell you what, you're lucky that you have to social distance
because Jenna would be ripping at your jugular with those nails.
Whose side are you on?
I'm just letting you know what Jenna is capable of.
I'm aware because I've listened.
Look at this.
I'm scratching myself.
If she can't inflict me, she'll inflict herself.
So I'm guessing you're Team Alex by default.
I am Team Alex by default.
Yeah, I am.
You want Jenna to leave, do you?
I would just like, I'm in favour of having them both.
I want a clean battle and whoever's segment is best will win.
That's all I'm saying.
All right.
But you've got Jenna's tail, so I'll have Alex's back.
Cool, let's move on.
If you're new here, Jenna confessed on this here podcast that her nails cannot be cut short because they are, in fact,
like a dog's claws or cat claws, as the case is,
where they have to stay long or they'll bleed.
And turns out that confession on this podcast has led to her
appearing on WSFM with Jones and Amanda.
We'll play that later on as well.
Also, on this show, if it's your first time listening,
every week we start the show off with an Is It Just Me?
It's the benchmark of the show, right?
It's sort of what the show's based on, don't you think?
Would you say that?
Well, yeah, it's literally the concept.
The name of the show.
Very true.
It's something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate.
Mine this week is just something happened to me last night
and I thought, I'm done.
I'm fed up.
And it's something that I love
dearly. It involves food. But I was shamed by a very close friend.
Oh, and you never take that kind of stuff to heart. You're like, I'm fat and I don't
care.
Exactly right. But this friend was always there for me, has never pushed anything back
in my face, but they really upset me last night.
Jeez.
Yep.
Alright.
I'll go second. You can start us off.
Yes, please. All right.
Is our voiceover guy Bradley ready?
Is he warmed up?
Brad.
He's making a coffee.
Hold on.
It's McConaughey.
It'll be cool.
He should be replaced.
Come on, Bradley.
He's walking over the mic.
That one, number six.
When you're ready, Brad.
Is it just me?
Do you love a tidy album release?
Oh, yeah.
This is something I've only recently learned about.
I love that neat structure of first single, music video.
Oh, yeah.
Second single, music video.
Third single drops with the album.
Probably a music video with that too.
When it works, it's so satisfying to watch.
But in many cases in this day and age, it just doesn't work anymore.
So people start drip feeding as singles as they go.
And one of my favourite people in the world, Katy Perry,
not long ago announced that Daisies, her single,
would be released on May 15.
So by the time this podcast is out, it'll be in the world.
Go and stream Daisies.
It probably needs the help.
But when she released it, when she put up on her Instagram,
letting everyone know that this song was coming,
it says Daisies will be the first single off KP5,
as in her newest album, her fifth album.
And I thought, hang on, hang on, back up right there, Katie, right now.
That is some bullshit.
Because you've already released four singles.
Why are they just being discarded like some mongrel dog?
Give them a home.
They don't have an album to live on.
And up until now, she's always done that traditional release of, you know,
releases a few singles, they're all part of an album.
Never really over.
Where is that going to live?
Small talk.
Harley's in Hawaii.
Never Worn White, the pregnancy announcement song.
Beautiful song.
Where are all these songs going to live if they're not on the new album?
Oh, yeah.
What's going to happen with them?
It's driving my OCD insane.
But how do you know they're not coming out on the album?
Because she said that Daisies is the first single off KP5.
Oh, so all these other songs will just live in the ether of singles.
Yeah.
She's just dripping them to us like it's nothing.
But is that really a problem?
Because you listen to them anyway.
Or do you like having somewhere to hear them all in one package?
Well, part of the problem is that I, because I'm a big fan,
I've been collecting her CDs since I was young.
So I've got like the Katy Perry collection.
My physical collection of Katy Perry records,
I don't have those singles because they're just on streaming.
And I wanted them on the bloody album, Katy.
You just threw a pen across the room.
Told you I'm shitty. Yeah, he really is. that was a ballpoint too could have taken picking up Alex
I Alex don't pick that pen my pen don't pick the pen up Alex when I first started on this show I
would have picked up that pen yeah she would have anyway um but does it really upset you that much
who else does it it just bothers me a little bit because it's always I've always loved it when it
pays off and it works that way but more and more artists aren't actually doing
that anymore like lily allen for example yeah she's actually said that she regrets signing an
album deal i think it was five albums that she has to release with her label and she's only done
like maybe three or four of them and she's like I just want to release singles as I make them, but I can't.
I have to wait for a full album.
And so she's frustrated that she can only do album cycles.
And then Tones and I, the new kid on the block,
that really popular young Aussie singer,
she said on Kyle and Jackie O the other day
that she only wants to release singles because she's like,
by the time I finish the album, I hate Harper songs anyway.
Oh, my gosh.
I literally interviewed her last night and she said the exact same thing.
Yeah, I did.
Oh, okay.
Do you want to listen to it?
Now, let's pop that up as a bonus episode on our podcast.
Nice.
So it'll be in the feed after this episode.
Actually, you'll like it.
Why is that?
Because I get a little mention into one of your favourite things in the world.
Right.
Half Chicken Roll from Red Rooster.
Half Chicken... Okay. You always get it wrong. You always say Half chicken roll from Red Rooster. Half chicken...
Okay.
You always get it wrong.
You always say
half chicken roll
or half chicken whatever.
Half rooster roll.
No, it's just a rooster roll.
We made DIY rooster rolls
on this show.
You have said
oh, half rooster roll.
No, it's not half.
Is it a quarter?
Jenna, can you Google?
Alex, can you Google?
Alright.
Three, two, one.
Go, Jenna.
Google half chicken roll
is the thing.
Get the menu of a Red Rooster.
Go, Alex. Go. I'm telling you half Red Rooster rolls don't exist go. Jenna, Google half chicken roll. Get the menu of a red rooster. Go, Alex, go.
I'm telling you, half red rooster rolls don't exist.
It's just a rooster roll.
What are you doing?
Don't sabotage.
This is your company laptop.
I'm pushing Jenna's laptop down.
Throw a bottle of water at Jenna.
Oh, God, Alex is so focused.
So I'm spraying Jenna with a water bottle.
Alex, do you have the menu up?
There is no half rooster roll.
Thank you, Jenna.
There is just a rooster roll. Anyway,, Jenna. There is just a rooster roll.
Anyway, how did you manage to talk about red rooster rolls with bloody tones and I?
Alex will talk after the show.
Well, because I said to her, oh, you're probably going to be nominated for a Grammy for Dance Monkey.
Let's be real.
And she was like, yeah.
And I was like, what are you going to do when you celebrate?
Like, all I think I would want is to have a half rooster roll and a mountain dew.
Well, she thought that was the funniest fucking thing everyone laughed for a month why would she she's
probably laughing because she thinks this cockhead doesn't he is not even familiar with the menu of
the greatest takeaway on earth no the only reason i bring it up is because i said to her what was
your favorite what's your favorite um takeaway because you're from america like you've been in
america what's your favorite she went nothing can beat red rooster really yeah oh i love her already
okay i'm gonna have to go listen to this bloody bonus episode
on my own podcast, can't wait.
But that's why I mentioned it at the end.
Anyway, she's another artist who is now anti-album
because she thinks that it's better to just release singles.
And considering everyone just streams shit
and I'm the only old soul that collects CDs and such,
it's just a better way to do it, really.
To be honest, I actually think Katy Perry's a bit lost at the moment.
You shut your mouth.
No, no, no.
How is she lost?
Well, I've got proof.
Yes.
Because not only is she a bit, you know, wishy-washy with the singles and the album and no one
really knows what's going on.
It does bother me.
I don't actually think that she's in a good spot.
Oh, hello, witness.
That was not in a good spot.
But this new one, she seems so calm and grounded in all the interviews.
She's back with, what's his frigging name?
Lord of the Rings.
Orlando.
Oh, you didn't even have to Google Alex.
Well done, Alex.
Straight into the mic.
The thing is, I've about to pick with her.
Obviously, I've got my radio show.
And I'm not saying it's doing well, but I'm getting more and more big guests.
Yeah, you really are.
And the record labels are noticing. And I had a great call with them the other week and they're like hey we're
loving all your interviews because they're different to all the other ones i said thank you
they said we're going to reward you we've got something coming from katie perry then the
attachment the email comes and they send it through and i'm with my family on mother's day
and i go shut up mom is it a voice recording yeah yeah yeah um and then i opened it and this is what
i heard it's katie perry exclusively recorded this then I opened it and this is what I heard. It's Katy Perry.
Exclusively recorded this just for my show.
Hi, this is Katy Perry and this is my new single, Daisies.
Listen now with Mitch Churl.
Did you catch that last bit?
Mitch Churl.
Mitch Churl.
Listen now with Mitch Churl.
Do you reckon it was written in all caps?
Chury and the capital I look like an L?
But she nails the start.
Hi, this is Katy Perry.
Hey, Katy Perry.
And this is my new single, Daisies.
It's a bop.
Literally clear.
It's so clear.
It couldn't be clearer.
I love that it's on an album.
Listen Now with Mitch Churl.
It's just, she just stumbles at the last post, doesn't she?
Listen Now with Mitch Trill.
It sounds like when someone tickles your underarm mid-sentence with Mitch Trill.
Like it's horrific.
I'm already looking forward to next year's Mardelgra.
Yeah, yeah.
Very good.
I can't think of any others where a word ends with I.
Oh, yeah.
Three, two, one, producers go.
Yeah.
No, nothing. Yeah. Bindi? Oh, Bindler. Bindler, yeah. Oh, yeah. Three, two, one, producers go. Yeah. No, nothing.
What?
Yeah.
Bindi?
Oh, Bindler.
Bindler, yeah.
I've got to go some shopping.
I'll go to Aldle.
I actually like Katy Perry's A Pixel Cut.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to the album.
Me too.
I am.
All right, my turn for the interview.
Back on the microphone, Bradley.
Yeah, jump up
He's ready
Sorry but the
Are the orchestra ready?
Oh god don't
Pick up the saxophone
Jeeves
Have you rosined your bow?
Marcus
Where's your reed?
Jacob
Pick a sax
No don't start
Until I say start
Did you start to
No
Just do your idgen please Hell start And a one And a two until I say start! Did you start to? No!
Just do your idjim, please.
Hell, start.
And a one, and a two, and a... Well done.
Is it just me?
Oh!
Bradley, was that my kona?
These are the worst filling in the world
when you order takeaway food
and they include two sets of cutlery?
Oh, how presumptuous.
How dare you think that just because I ordered enough to warrant a free chicken and corn
soup and prawn crackers that I'm going to be eating it with two people?
Yeah, that's just rude to make an assumption that you're not enormous.
Exactly.
I agree.
Which makes an assumption that you're not enormous.
Exactly.
I agree.
I got sent two pairs of chopsticks and a wonton spoon.
It made me feel so sad.
I ate it all, of course.
We recently did an intervention where I brought up the amount of Uber Eats receipts and bags you leave lying around in the studio over night time because you hear every weeknight.
Every night, yep.
And so, does this happen often that they assume that you're eating for two?
All the time.
The other night I ordered, I was feeling a bit, I had a bit of a sweet tooth.
I have a bit of a sweet tooth, I should say.
It hasn't gone.
And I ordered, I'll get the order up because you can go to receipts,
but I just wanted something sweet.
So I ordered a cannoli and a cheesecake.
Oh my, what?
Yeah, from the local Italian.
It was delicious.
A whole ass cheesecake.
No, not a giant wheel. Just was delicious. A whole ass cheesecake. No, not a giant wheel.
Just a little cannoli.
Here, here, here.
So it was Versace Pizzeria, shout out, 6th of May.
I ordered a torta ricotta al parro, $18 for one slice.
Wow.
I did think I was getting more.
And then the cannoli was $14.40.
So all up it was $36.
You're good for it, rich kid.
Well, I'm not rich, but, you know, the funds were there.
And I got them both.
And they were in two separate containers.
And they gave me a knife and a fork wrapped in a little tea towel, you know, very cafe on the corner vibe.
Two of them.
And I was like, no, that's so unfair.
And so what did you do?
I ate them both.
Of course you bloody did.
Did you have dinner or was that just-
That was the dessert.
I brought the dinner.
But when you bring a dinner, I go, I'm going to bring a dinner so I don't have to buy Uber Eats.
And I end up ordering a cannoli and a full fucking wheel of cheese.
It's true.
Yeah.
Isn't it bad?
I could never just order a cannoli and a cheesecake, though.
Clearly I can't.
Unless I'm kind of wasted.
That's like my drunk food.
I remember I was really drunk with you and we ordered-
Oh God, I don't want to know.
No, we got like deep fried Oreos. And then you like you know what i want i'm like what you're like i
want dutch pancakes and i was like okay so we found dutch you knew that there were dutch pancakes in
the area and we ordered like an order of 36 dutch pancakes and we just sat in bed and we didn't have
cutlery so i'm like this green smoothie sculling healthy bitch most days of the week, but when I'm inebriated, that's just when I come undone.
My inner fat kid is like, I'm back.
Yeah, one fucking sip of rosé and he's got the fucking tube of Calippo honey
squirting directly into his mouth.
It's terrific.
So that's just me.
You live alone, Jenna.
Do they send you two sets of cutlery and assuming you've got a partner
living in that house?
No, but if I did get stuff delivered, I would rather have no cutlery.
I'll use my own.
See, Alex, you always say yes when the host asks you a simple question like that.
Has this happened to you?
Probably.
Yeah, good answer.
Well done.
One point to Alex.
I didn't know you could get dog food delivered.
That's awful!
Is it just me?
Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app.
Or follow on Spotify.
That's uncalled for.
I told you, I'm going to channel my foul mood into this new thing you've brought in,
trying to oust our Jenna.
You're doing a great job, Alex.
Well, yeah, I grew an extra layer of skin overnight because I was worried.
You have to with this one.
Anyway, the battle of the producers is coming up next.
We're going to do both of your segments and see which is better.
But first, Jenna, you confessed on our show recently
that you have cat claws in lieu of your fingernails.
You cannot cut them short or they'll bleed, much like a cat.
It's a birth defect.
Yes, I was diagnosed with cat nails.
And so apparently your mates, Jonesy and Amanda...
Yep, good friends...from WSFM... The number two rating breakfast show. Yes, I was diagnosed with cat nails. And so apparently your mates, Jonesy and Amanda.
Yep, good friends.
From WSFM.
The number two rating breakfast show. So they caught wind of this and then they dragged you on air for a segment called Embarrassing Bodies.
Well, actually, it was originally Embarrassing Bodies, but then it got changed to Quirky Bodies.
I think that's very...
Did they not want to offend you?
No.
Oh, do they actually treat you nicely over there?
Yes.
Weird. Also, their demographic consists of embarrassing bodies. I think that's very... Do they not want to offend you? No. Oh, do they actually treat you nicely over there? Yes. Weird. Also, their demographic consists of embarrassing bodies,
so I really don't think they could have done it.
What would you say Jonesy and Amanda's
audience is? I would say 45
plus. Yeah, okay. Yeah, they're show
sponsored by Caltrade, put it that way. Yeah.
They're the sort of people that don't like grubby
styles of radio. No. At all.
But they're not old enough for talkback.
They haven't completely prepared for death. No. At all. But they're not old enough for like talkback. Yeah. They haven't completely prepared for death.
No.
Exactly.
But anyway,
they dragged you on air.
We haven't heard it yet.
I've not heard this, no.
Let's take a listen
and see how you cope.
So this is this morning,
Jenna on the Jonesy
and Amanda show.
Live.
Okay, here we go.
Someone who works with us,
one of the girls
in the typing pool,
Jenna,
who we love very much,
she has confessed to me
that she has something
interesting going on in her body.
Why did you confess to Amanda and not me, Jenna?
I'm sorry, but it's kind of embarrassing.
Oh, okay.
Over to you, Jenna.
This has become awkward.
Okay, here we go.
So I've never been able to cut my nails short because the skin behind my nail goes really high.
Really?
So from the minute you were born, this is just a condition.
Your skin goes right up. Yep, ever since I was born. And it was
particularly difficult because when I was younger I did netball. So we'd always have
to show how short our nails were. And so I'd have to put band-aids
over them or I wouldn't be able to play. So I was always
anxious about it and worried. And not wanting to be different to everyone else.
Exactly. When you were a kid though to everyone else. Exactly, exactly.
When you were a kid, though, your mum would have cut them.
Yes, my mum used to cut them and we actually even went to the doctors
to get them checked to see what the point, what was going on.
And the doctor pretty much diagnosed me with cat nails.
Cat nails.
Do you go home to a litter instead of sitting on the loo?
Yeah, to climb trees.
I've heard that so many times.
No, I don't.
You don't sit on the windowsill and lick yourself.
Here we go.
Suddenly it became workplace bullying again, Amanda.
Well, thank you, Jenna.
That's very brave of you to share.
We appreciate it.
But you're amazing, okay?
Thank you.
That is amazing.
Jesus.
Thank you.
They're very polite to you.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Even their puns at your expense were very nice.
I do love, though, that these people who are like well-seasoned broadcasters and, you know,
Amanda's hailed as one of the funniest women in the country.
True.
They went down the exact same route that we did when they heard this confession.
Cat puns.
Great minds think alike.
Yes.
Oh, they were very sweet to you, Jenna.
You know, I actually quite think after today when Alex wins,
you could go there and work there full time.
You don't even need this show.
You've got another one with two supportive hosts.
Why don't you just shut your face?
You wouldn't say that to Jonesy, would you?
I sure would.
Would you really?
Yeah, watch me.
Anyway, it's time for the battle of the producers.
All right, Jenna, have you got your armour ready?
Yep.
All right, let's do this.
Bring it on, Alex.
Okay, her nails.
That's all they are.
That's all she needs.
So you've both got one segment each to fill this blank slot.
You're here to basically put Jenna to shame.
Mitch doesn't think she's good enough.
You want to show her how it's done.
So who wants to go first?
I'm confident enough that we can go first.
Go ahead.
Okay.
Are you feeling good?
Yep.
Okay, let's do it.
All right, Alex, I believe you've prepared some audio.
Is that right?
Yep, I did.
Should we roll it?
Let's do it.
All right.
All right, Alex, when you're ready.
My Lord, Jenna, did you bring an opener for your segment?
Yeah, I'm using my voice.
You're doing your voice opener.
Well, I think you're overcompensating, Alex.
You've put in a fancy opener to distract from your awful content.
A beautiful touch.
We were all born with voices.
We were.
They need to be used.
Go for it, Alex.
Okay, so I thought what would be fun is that I did dig up a lot of old stuff you might not like
on your old Twitter, Facebook, etc.
Oh, I like this.
What the fuck?
You can't laugh at your own bits.
No, I'm laughing at his reaction.
Anyway, so I have found some stuff and I'm going to say the old tweet or status and you
guys are going to guess which Mitch wrote it.
Also, it's like a hybrid which Mitch and Gold Digger.
Oh, she knows the show, Jenna.
That's a good.
I know the show.
I'm here every week.
So what's the segment called?
Have you given it a name?
Called it Background Check.
Brilliant name.
A monkey could have thought of that.
Yeah.
So we have to guess which status it belongs to, which Mitch.
Correct.
Okay.
Well, I'm ready.
First one is August 2013.
Okay, high school.
I was in year 12.
I was in year 12.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right, so having an old lady say to me today,
G'day gorgeous, hey, I'll take what I can get.
Oh.
I think I recall writing that.
No, I wouldn't write that.
I'm going to lock in Mitch too
Yeah it was Mitchell
Okay great
So do we keep score
or something
you haven't explained that thing
Idiot
There was no score
Hey
Don't be disrespectful
Do you remember when
writing statuses
were such a thing though
Yeah
Like it was a competition
of who had the funniest status
and you like race home
from school
because you didn't have a phone
and be like
oh I can't wait to write
a status about that
What about TBH like for TBH Awful I never did it but I was a serial liker who had the funniest status and you like race home from school because you didn't have a phone and be like, oh, I can't wait to write a status about that.
What about TBH?
Like for TBH.
Awful.
I never did it, but I was a serial liker.
I'd find people that I'd never met.
You're so funny.
I'm like, we've never fucking met, but thanks.
With an XD.
All right, one point to the two of us.
I'll keep score, don't worry.
All right, cool.
Okay, next one.
Yeah.
Just block someone on Twitter because they said they can't wait for Lara Bingle's reality show.
It's June 2012.
Also me.
Is that you?
Yeah, I remember that as well.
I remember loving that show.
So I can see.
I didn't tweet though, so it's not me.
It has to be Mitch.
It was Mitchell, yes.
Coombs?
Coombs.
Two points each.
That show was awful though.
I loved being Lara Bingle.
Why?
Because it was so fun and she was so natural and down to earth.
I think you're about the only person that thought so.
It didn't last long, that bloody show.
It had one season.
I remember their promo image was just her with a little bob cut.
Like, ah!
I thought it was so well done.
Well done.
How creative.
I think they assumed that because she was famous that a reality show about her would be interesting,
but she's just not interesting.
Yeah, they had to really force the drama from memory.
I remember there was one whole episode on her getting a juice down at Bondi.
I remember that.
And she got the juice.
And then the credits rolled.
I was like, well, you know, I'm entertained.
All right, next one.
All right, next one.
Of course there is.
August 2014.
I loved Army Life.
Nothing better than seeing grenades and same-sex showers.
What the fuck?
That's me.
That's me.
That is so you.
Yeah, that is very me.
If there's one thing we've learnt from you on this show,
whenever you go rogue on the sound effects,
is that you love a good fake bullet.
Of course you love all that.
I do.
Grenade stuff.
I'm going to interfere here.
A few weeks ago, I found a great photo of you dressed as an army man.
I think you was from a theatre production. It would have been.
I did The Grandfathers.
We toured London and the Hong Kong region.
It was on your Star Now profile.
It was, yeah.
He has a Star Now profile.
Oh, everyone go search Mitch Turrell.
Along with all the maths contestants.
But what was this tweet in reference to?
Oh, one of my good friends was in the actual army and wasn't performing.
And he went to the army.
And when he came back to Australia, I was like,
nothing I love more than grenades and same-sex showers.
It's a joke.
Look at this.
What is it?
Oh, my God.
Look how slim I was.
Which one is you?
Well, there's a woman and a man in that image.
Oh, I thought they were your man boobs.
Let's put that in our Facebook group.
Alex, don't laugh at these jokes.
Jenna's going to put that photo in our Facebook group.
Endurant idiots if you'd like to join.
Fucking hell.
Alex, when they start to ridicule me, you move on.
I just joined that group.
Did you?
Oh, welcome.
A bit slow joining, right?
Yeah, you could have joined at the start of the show.
That's fine, Alex. Move on. Right, sorry. A bit slow joining, right? Yeah, you could have joined at the start of the show. That's fine, Alex.
Move on.
Right, sorry.
Okay.
July 2011, the end of an era.
One of my purple Crocs got swept off my foot
and currently floating somewhere in the ocean.
Dot, dot, dot.
RIP.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
Yeah, I would never wear a purple Crocs.
It was such a nice shade of purple.
Crocs?
It was like flubber.
And what happened?
It floated away in the local river.
No, we were on, how dare you?
We were at the Holiday House in Batemans Bay.
Oh, sorry.
And it just, I don't know, because they're not exactly sturdy, the croc, are they?
It just fell off and then I watched it float away.
Yeah.
Now, the reason that this game sucks is that I have a really good memory, so I've never gone, oh, who wrote that?
Yeah, this is one I had to plan.
That's right.
Well, generally when I was...
But he has a really bad one, so you've got that to contend with.
Yeah, she's catering for her boss.
Right.
What next?
2011, chat roulette with your grandma never ends well.
Oh.
I was disturbed by it.
2011.
Yeah.
God.
I don't know what chat roulette is. That was prime chat roulette. That would have been me. I think it's I'm going to lock in me. Yeah. God. I don't know what Chatroulette is.
That was prime Chatroulette.
That would have been me.
I think it's, I'm going to lock in me.
Yeah, me too.
That was more of an Omegle.
Oh, is it the same as that?
It's exactly the same.
Right, okay.
It was me, wasn't it?
It was.
Yeah.
No.
The mouse is dead.
Oh, thank God.
I think the batteries are done.
Oh, here's my finger.
Well done.
All right.
Stunning.
Okay, March 2011.
Not a tweet, a photo.
Oh, God, no.
What is it?
Of a lovely wombat as roadkill.
A photo of, oh, that clearly is Mitch Coombs there.
No, I would never.
If there's one person who has got a couple of strikes against their name
in the animal cruelty department, it's you.
Alex, you shouldn't have put this one in.
That's definitely you.
You should have run the past me.
Why would you take a photo of a deceased wombat?
Alex, remove this.
It's redacted.
Does it really surprise you that he's-
Not at all.
Of course his brain goes, oh, wombat remains.
That's good content.
I wouldn't have done it. It was Mitch, wasn't it? I'm sorry, Trudy, Wombat Remains. That's good content.
I wouldn't have done it.
It was Mitch, wasn't it?
I'm sorry, Trudy, it was you.
Oh, for fuck's sake. Cool.
13th of March, 2011.
I'm so glad you didn't bring the photo.
Do you have the image?
I have a screenshot of it, yes.
Oh, my.
When did I do it?
On the way to Ulladulla.
Oh, she's got location.
Okay, it's my final one.
Oh, okay.
Who in October 2011 said Woody Allen is a genius?
Of course it would be Cheery.
I would never.
He's a bloody sex pest.
Is he?
I don't know anything about Woody Allen.
Jenna, could you Google that?
He adopted a girl with his wife, left the wife,
and then married the girl that he adopted.
His stepdaughter.
His stepdaughter.
And in your brain you went, genius.
No, no, no.
I would never have written that because I've always been aware.
No, I don't like it.
I don't even know who this clown is.
I wouldn't have written it.
So what's your answers?
Well, I've got to lock in Mitch because I didn't do it.
Not me.
Well, who are you locking in me?
Definitely.
Oh, wait.
Is this a trick question? The me. Definitely. Oh, wait. Who is it?
Is this a trick question?
The answer is Jenna.
Oh, Jenna.
My God, Jenna.
When was this?
I hate that you caught on to it before I could spill.
Yeah, of course she did.
Oh, look how red Jenna's gone.
October 2011.
Oh, we can't hire a sex pest supporter.
How dare you?
Wander into the studio and make my Jenna uncomfortable.
Well done.
I do have another Jenna status.
Okay, let's hear it.
What is this next one?
How she loved Weinstein's films?
Oh, I can see it from here.
How good is Kevin Spacey?
Written in 2019.
I did a face swap with George Powell.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love Louis C.K.'s stand-up specials posted three days ago.
Sorry, what is it about?
No, that was the most incriminating thing I had of Jenna.
What's the next one?
It was just notifying the Facebook world.
For those interested, Miranda Kerr is currently at Marooba Beach.
You're welcome.
May 2012.
Oh, Jenna.
That is true.
But why would you?
I walked past her.
I remember that.
That's the most Jenna thing ever. Yes, that is. You would have been so excited. I walked past her. I remember that. That's the best Jennifer thing ever.
Yes, that happened.
You would have been so excited.
I was quite excited.
I walked past her and I was like, that's Miranda Kerr.
I'm going home to write a Facebook.
What's the wording?
You're welcome.
For those interested, Miranda Kerr is currently at Maroobra Beach.
You're welcome, smiley face.
You're welcome.
I did statuses like that all the time.
Alex, don't incriminate yourself, okay?
I know, I'm proud of that.
I don't think we can have a Sex Pest supporter on the show.
It was, okay, I'm going to Google right now
when everything was revealed about Woody Allen.
He might not have been with his little adopted daughter at that time.
Anyway, should we critique?
Oh, yeah, my only critique is that it wasn't long enough.
That was brilliant.
A very well-formed segment.
Well, did you keep score like you said you would?
Yeah.
I won.
You did not.
No, I lost.
You won.
Obviously, that makes me automatically favour the segment.
I will say it did spark good conversation.
We got some stories, but I've just got a very good memory.
That was your downfall, the fact that I'm just too smart for you.
It wasn't challenging enough for you.
We can take feedback.
All these things just came flooding back.
I remember writing them.
Yeah, I did.
I couldn't remember taking a photo of a corpsed wombat.
In 2014, all of this came to light.
So in 2011, that was an okay thing to write?
Yes.
Okay, all right.
Oh, well, there you go.
Jenna can stay.
Jenna can stay.
You can piss off.
Well done.
Jenna, I haven't received an opener or anything from your place.
Your memory's failing you again.
Okay.
I'm going to use my voice.
Right.
Okay, what's the tone?
Do you need a backing track?
No.
Okay.
It's acapella, the opener.
I support the idea, Jenna. Alex has performed. It's acapella, the opener. I support the idea, Jenna.
Alex has performed.
It's now time for Jenna, the longstanding producer,
groundskeeper of this show, to prove to us why she belongs here,
why she reserves a place in the Podcast Hall of Fame.
Why, despite the fact that we asked her to come aboard as a producer
and she refused to do anything for the show, why we should keep her.
Correct.
Jenna, you've got the stage.
Okay.
Dead or alive, that's the time.
Oh, Jenna.
Off to a great start, Alex.
Give me a high five.
They're crumbling.
Social distancing.
I'm going to call the police, Alex.
You disgust me.
Get on with your segment.
Okay, it's time for Dead or Alive.
Five people you would invite to your dinner party.
Let's go.
It's cheery.
Yeah, I'm here.
Imagine you're at a dinner party and you can invite absolutely anybody.
Dead or Alive.
Yeah.
Five people.
Yep.
A wombat.
Yeah. Oh, that. Yeah.
Oh, that'd be hard.
Everyone would say Gandhi, wouldn't they?
I'd probably, I'd probably, alive?
Who would I like to be with?
This is hard.
I'd love to have James Corden because I think I'm a big fan of him
and he's one of my idols.
So I'd like to have him there just to be like,
we could be best friends, you know what I mean?
So I'd invite Corden. and then I'd probably someone dead.
I'd love to hear what Anne Frank had to say,
just about everything that's going on.
And I'd love to know, what are you watching?
You know what I mean?
Oh, then you want to know her two cents on 2020, her current.
Yeah, I want to know Anne Frank's thoughts on Tiger King.
I mean, she could write.
That diary was thick. That's made a couple movies. So I to know Anne Frank's thoughts on Tiger King. I mean, she could write. That diary was thick.
That's made a couple movies.
So I'd invite Anne Frank.
I'd probably want to invite five people.
Yes, five people.
That was the game.
Marilyn Monroe.
I know it wasn't quite clear, though.
I've said it 20,000 times.
I think it was so clear.
I'd invite Marilyn Monroe just because I feel like she died before her time,
and I think it'd be great to get to know her and chat.
I think she'd be lovely. I love Jeff Goldblum because I'm a she died before her time, and I think it'd be great to get to know her and chat. I think she'd be lovely.
I love Jeff Goldblum because I'm a big fan of him,
and he's very funny, and I've actually met him
and been at an event with him, and he holds a party so well.
So he'd be great.
And then I'd probably like, I think Barack Obama would be great.
I love Obama.
Okay.
Gee, that didn't spark much conversation, did it?
It did, actually.
Anyway, Mitchell Gaines, it's your turn.
Okay.
Jenna?
Yes.
Five celebs dead or alive that I'd invite to a dinner party.
Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, just to see if there's tension.
Oh, yes.
Miley Cyrus and Helen Keller.
Oh, Helen Keller.
Why do you choose Helen Keller?
I just think that Helen Keller had no idea what was going on.
No.
I reckon her mum was like the Kris Jenner of her time
where she convinced everyone she was writing these books
and she was this genius.
I reckon she had no clue what the fuck was going on around her.
Oh, she was blind and deaf, wasn't she?
Yeah.
The poor thing.
She's like, I can tell if a grape is ripe just by feeling it
because of my heightened senses.
And I'm like, I don't think you have a fucking clue, actually.
Yeah, I think she was a bit bitchy.
I reckon her mum was cashing in on this story.
That is very true.
Look, I'm not saying that it's not possible to achieve things
when you're deaf and blind, but I think in this case,
it's just like, it's too good to be true.
She was a fucking author and went to university and did all these things.
And I'm like, how?
Yeah, you know her mum was writing all those books.
True.
Yeah.
It was an arts degree, to be fair.
Oh, good one, Alex.
I did one year of an arts degree and dropped out because it was too hard, bitch.
And you had your sight and your hearing.
And look at me, genius was too hard, bitch. And you had your sight and your hearing. And look at me.
Genius.
All right, Jenna.
Oh, Alex's turn.
Alex.
Oh, really?
Bullshit.
No.
Yeah, Alex gets to be involved.
She gets two guests.
The whole time.
Okay.
I get a, yeah.
And I only get entree.
Yeah, you don't get a full meal.
That's fine.
No, you're not in the room.
You're outside the room looking in.
She's the waitstaff. Yeah. Actually, who would you have waiting on the meals? full meal. That's fine. No, you're not in the room. You're outside the room looking in.
She's the waitstaff.
Actually, who would you have waiting on the meals?
Two people.
Yeah.
Okay.
Maybe Heath Ledger just because I love him.
And he used to live around the corner from me and I always regret it.
A great story, Alex.
He used to live around the corner from you?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, when he lived in Sydney.
And then I've always wanted to like... A great story.
That's a great story.
I've always wanted to send him a birthday card and I didn't get it.
So, you know, I go to Jenna and I'll slip in her birthday card.
Oh, no.
Jenna doesn't have any famous neighbours because she's bought up all the land in her area.
So Jenna owns all the properties next to her.
Excuse me?
She has no neighbours.
I saw Miranda Kerr.
True, true.
For anyone that cares, you're welcome.
Yeah.
And then, you know what, I would invite Mitchell Coombs
because I feel like he needs to give me a chance.
A brilliant twist.
Even if it's from the window.
I did not see that coming and that was a very well-placed answer.
No, no, I'm changing this game.
Death.
I'm changing.
You're not getting Heath, You're just getting me.
What the fuck did I?
What if I bond with her and then I'm Team Alex in this battle of the producers?
You won't.
I'll be in there.
You're changing it as you go.
Yeah, Jenna, you can't do this.
I'd like to know the four people that you'd invite.
I will electrocute you.
Oh, my God.
Jenna, would you like to explain yours?
Yeah.
I should bring back Woody Allen.
Just be like, I regret everything I said.
Woody, I'm a big fan of all your work.
I hate Woody Allen.
Okay, here we go.
Brie Larson, because she's great, obviously, obvious reasons.
Tatiana Maslany, I've met her before.
And the three Heim sisters.
The window's open.
Who?
The three Heim sisters. The window's open. Who? The three Heim sisters.
Excuse me.
Cover photo on some media.
And I met them as well.
Oh, that's what I discovered more than anything,
is that you have met a lot of people.
Alex, you are trying to give her answers.
Do you know, I have been worried about this whole thing
because she's the only person that likes my tweets.
I said, if I lose Jenna, I have nothing.
Hold on a second.
So Jenna actually supports you in real life.
And here you are stabbing her in the back, walking on a turf.
Everything I do for you.
As an intern, I have a degree in licking ass.
Right, right.
That doesn't surprise me.
I do everything for you.
How dare you?
Interesting, Jenna.
I think the game was interesting.
Okay, so both segments have wrapped, all right?
Now we have to choose which producer we thought did a better job.
Well, I've got a confession.
Don't interrupt me, Posadas.
No, I've got a confession.
I forgot we were doing this and I came up with that game on the spot.
Jenna.
I win.
You had a week's notice.
It shows you that I have the capabilities of being a producer and coming up with things on the spot. Jenna. I win. You had a week's notice. It shows you that I
have the capabilities of being
a producer and coming up with things on the spot.
Can I just say though, for something that is... I don't need
notes to read off. I was just about to compliment
you. She's barking down my throat. Weird for
a cat.
I'm very impressed with
that game. If it is true, did you come
up with it on the spot or is this a tactic to get me on your side?
I came up with it on the spot.
I was impressed by that, guys.
Didn't you hear my jingle?
I did hear it and I thought, that sounds like something that was written a minute ago.
Exactly.
Jenna, I had your back through all of this and I'm really enjoying being an arsehole
to Alex, but unfortunately, as one of my good friends
you would know that one thing that
shits me to tears more than anything else
is when people agree to things
and they say they're going to do something and then they
don't. I agree to it because I
came up with it on the spot. You agreed a week ago and then
oh, I forgot. Fucking that.
Lack of organisation
is very disturbing to me. I am busy.
Not only has Alex got notes but it's in a fucking plastic sleeve,
for God's sake.
That is a waste of paper.
We need plastic sleeves on this podcast.
No, we do not.
If you notice in the title, I did your title and colour
coordinated to your logo.
Oh, my God, look, the heading is literally our shade of yellow
and paired with the right pink.
She joined our group this morning.
But to be honest, as someone who, I can admire what
Jenna's done, I feel like there's a complete role reversal.
You're on Team Alex, I'm Team
Jenna now. Fuck you, I really
like that game.
You're dead to me. I want to have dinner
with James Corden and Frankie. Well,
guess what? You two have dinner together. You're not
getting heat flage. I'm sorry. Well, I invited him to my
dinner. You know what?
Maybe we fucking, it's not a hypothetical.
Let's get a Ruth to run.
No, no.
She's sitting outside the room.
You're in there alone.
Do you know what I think we should do?
What?
I think we need a To Be Continued for the first time in Injury History.
And I think what we need to do is put a post up in the Injury and Idiots page.
They're our most loyal listeners.
And we ask them the question, who should be the
producer of this
show?
Jenna Benson or
Great Timing or
Alex Vitaman?
I don't know her
last name.
I never asked.
Ryan.
Alex Ryan.
Like McLeod's
daughters.
Yes.
Do we think we
should do a To Be
Continued episode for
the first time ever?
We'll see.
Jenna is known to
our audience so she
has an automatic
bias.
People are going to
click her because
people don't know
Alex yet.
But the thing is, our listeners are messy like us and they love the drama.
I have been here since the beginning.
I've been staying back for this crap.
Should we make a decision, Mitch?
No, after everything I do.
You know what?
You don't do anything.
My presence here.
Do you remember, Mitch, the first maybe four weeks It was oh Jenna can you maybe do this
I'm too busy but then kept showing up
And I'm like she's basically just here to talk
And not help us out
You know before Zumba was cancelled because of COVID-19
I skipped it
Every week
That's a commitment
I'm all for experience guys
You know you can have me unpaid. It's all well and good.
There was never any talk of money, so.
Yes, no.
I was aware.
Fucking red rooster vouchers.
Shut up, Mitchell.
Very true.
Half rooster roll.
I'm happy to be paid in food.
That's fine.
I feel bad.
For what?
Ousting Jenna?
Yeah.
Alex, do you want this job?
Yeah, I do.
But I feel like your show's incomplete without Jenna.
That kind of flakiness I don't like either.
Now I'm just pissed off at everyone.
Yeah, how dare you.
Everyone get out, including you.
It's my show now.
I'm so used to being the weak one of the group, as being an intern.
The runt of the litter.
The runt of the litter, the whale poo of the food chain.
Are you firing yourself?
No, no, I'm just
I'm just terrified.
I don't want Jenna to leave
but I want to be here.
You're putting me in an awkward position.
Neither one can live while
the other survives. Isn't that Harry Potter? I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that it? Yeah, the Horcrux, yeah.
Jenna, it's your turn
to plead your case when you're ready.
I thought you were on my side.
Yeah, I'm very lost with who's on who's team.
I'm beyond lost.
I agree.
I just feel like I can't, I don't think Alex actually wants to be here.
I agree, Alex.
What?
We've held her hostage.
I feel like you're more than happy doing my night show.
No, I think I'm in a state of just, I'm overwhelmed because I didn't know this would be so...
Intense. Yeah. I feel like I'm more honest state of just, I'm overwhelmed because I didn't know this would be so... Intense.
Yeah.
I feel like I'm more honest about not wanting to be here.
I genuinely don't.
You're right.
And, you know, I'm open about that and that's why I think I should stay.
Right.
Like, you're the third wheel, we have a fourth wheel.
What are we, a horse-drawn car?
Yeah, we can't.
We're like a trolley at Poles.
And who the fuck's the horse out the front pulling it along?
Not you, Jenna, that's for sure.
No, it's not me.
Anyway.
I think we need to make a decision.
What do you want?
Your call, Mitchell.
Is it?
Because I have somehow seen the benefit in both.
Can we do a rotating roster?
Like, the divorced parents?
You have her on Tuesdays and Thursdays,
and then I'll take down her weekends.
Don't forget she's lactose intolerant,
and she needs the EpiPen.
Well, I think because Alex was gaslighted
into being a contender to replacing,
we should actually let her think about
whether she wants to do it or not.
Because I don't think she does.
I don't think she does.
Yeah, do you want these types?
Well, considering there's T&Cs I've never seen.
You need to read them.
You forged.
They're three page long.
Right.
If you say yes, you get the job.
All the trimmings as well.
Okay, well, I accept it and I will happily have it because this Thunderbird's off duty.
She's got to make use of her time and experience.
Oh, Mitch started as a kiss Thunderbird.
I did.
You could be me in three to four years.
Exciting.
Yeah.
Tragic.
Driving around the street team car.
I always wanted to do that.
As long as I'm not a cash cock.
True.
That's the lowest of low.
I'll be a cash hen.
Jenna, thanks for your time.
Cool.
Can we have a farewell party?
Did I ever tell you, by the way, that I actually wanted to start as a street teamer, which
is how a lot of people get their foot in the door in radio, but I got knocked back several
times.
At Nova, right?
I think it was two day and it was here.
Did you apply here?
Yes.
When?
During high school?
No, I was in fucking Forbes in high school.
Yeah, right.
See, the street team was the best job I ever had in my life.
Some of my closest friends now are on the street team.
It's such a fun job.
They wouldn't let me on, but now...
Well, Jenna, I'll pass the number on for you to...
I don't need that.
Hopefully have an interview.
I'm Jonesy and Amanda this morning.
I'm really spun out, guys.
What did we end up deciding?
Because I thought she would say it regardless,
but then you're saying that there's a farewell party.
Apparently, I've been fired.
I actually don't know, to be honest.
If we had at least one fucking good producer, this would be a bit organised.
You know what?
I think you both should stay, don't you?
Both just fuck off, honestly.
This is such a mess.
You know what?
Get out.
As good producers, you two should know when to fucking end a segment.
Now piss off the both of you.
Out and out.
No, I'm being serious. That's one.
Oh, okay. See ya.
Bye. See, she knows when to leave,
Jenna. I'm not going.
Oh, who's that?
It's my Siri. She wants the job too.
Everyone fucking wants it. Okay, I think
I don't even know what the conclusion is here. Let's just go.
Neither do I. What a fucking mess
of a show.
Can't believe you didn't tell your contestant what the game was that she'd be replacing Jenna.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Now she's come here feeling all guilty.
I don't feel guilty at all for being quite abusive.
Yeah.
Well, look, if it's your first time listening, that's Mitch Coombs.
I'm Mitch Trill.
Mitch Trill.
That's me.
I'll see you next week.
I don't even know what's happening next week to you.
Are we going to see you next week, Alex?
I don't know.
Well, apparently I won't be here, so this is my last episode.
I think we need to just end.
Goodbye, everybody.
It was nice being on this podcast.
Actually, it wasn't, but so long.
We need to clear the air.
I think we just keep it as it was And there's an open invitation
Alex for you to come
Whenever you like
I think that's a nice way
To end it don't you
Okay sure
So Jenny
You keep your post
And everything stays the same
Your scratching post
Your scratching post
And then Alex
There's an open invitation
For you to rejoin this show
Whenever you want
Thank you
Also my night show
You're still employed?
Yes.
You're still interning at kids?
Yes.
Unpaid.
Unpaid, of course.
There was never any talk of pay.
Read the teas and see us twice.
You'll never find a mention of money.
All right, Jenny, you've got your job.
Congratulations.
Okay, so do I get the red rooster?
Oh, yeah, me too.
Does she win the voucher?
I guess technically.
I've got enough to share.
All right, you can both have one.
Yeah.
Let's get a red rooster.
I've never tried a rooster.
Get out!
Now!
You've just done that.
It's a nail in your coffin.
You already invited me back whenever I wanted.
Did you hear me immediately regret halfway through saying that?
You're done.
You're done here.
All right, let's go.
The bonus episode of Tones and I chatting with myself will be up, Mitch.
We'll upload that, right?
That's right.
It'll be up next, but
we'll catch you back here same time
next Monday. See you guys. Thanks for listening,
guys. Bye-bye. Bye.
Is it just me? Don't forget
to subscribe and leave a review
on your podcast app. Or
follow on Spotify.
Welcome to ADD Brief, the bonus bit at the end that really you shouldn't be hearing.
We're trying to trick you out of listening.
You're just cunning.
You didn't fall for it. We hope most people stop listening because this bit is just like a bit rogue, a bit loose.
It is.
It's my deep shame.
Nothing is planned in this portion of the show. Yes, just a couple of people with ADD having a bit loose. It is. It's my deep shame. Nothing is planned in this portion of the show.
Yes, just a couple of people with ADD having a deep break.
Exactly right.
Alex, can you press that button there, that orange one?
Yeah, press it.
Well done.
Thank you.
Alex, our new producer, has just activated live tweeting and phone calls.
You can call us anytime, 888-964-309-4218, 433-06902.
896-304-2221.
So that's how it works.
And I'm an Uber Eats.
You can go on down and get that, Alex.
That'd be great.
Make sure you throw out the second pair of cups.
Or you'll get upset.
I don't need it.
But make sure the cannoli's in there.
I also ordered a mini cannoli, so just make sure they're both there.
You can call us anytime.
Live tweets are activated.
All you need to do is just hit us up.
Easy.
We haven't gotten any so far.
I'm waiting.
It's actually quite...
We normally get them.
But I'm fine.
I'm fine waiting.
That's all we need to do.
Normally they just come flooding in,
but it seems times have changed.
Not getting any.
That's odd. That's odd.
That's okay.
Mitch, how was your day?
Alex, you haven't gone down together.
Mitch, why aren't you speaking?
My father always told me that if someone's tormenting you,
just don't react and they'll move on.
Because I know the reaction you want.
You want me to go, oh, I hate sound effects.
It's not funny.
I'm just not reacting.
I would never do that.
How was your day?
Oh, so good.
Also, can I point out, I'm not the only fucking person in the room.
Ladies, for God's sake, we've got two producers and you're leaving me out to dry.
He only asked you.
Jenna, how do you feel about your piss poor performance?
That's just really, really rude.
Stop the music.
Where the fuck?
No one's tweeting us.
Something's wrong.
Because everyone hates you.
Mitchell, have you meddled?
No.
You have, haven't you?
You've pulled a plug.
No, I haven't.
I have.
Oh, my God.
I'd just like to let you all know Jesus is real.
I didn't even plan this.
I pray this would happen.
All your listeners must be animal advocates.
What have you done?
Is there no tweet sound effect?
Why would there need to be?
Someone's obviously pulled a plug.
I pulled the plug.
What did you do?
I just pulled it.
What colour was it?
Blue.
Of course, the Twitter plug.
Someone has done something here. Oh, well. I did. I just said. When What colour was it? Blue. Of course, the Twitter plug. Someone has done something here.
Yeah, I did.
I just said.
When did you do it?
What a shame, moving right along.
Did you do this, Mitchell?
No.
I just said I did.
When?
Like two hours ago.
You don't have the capabilities to do it.
Well, I did.
Someone has deactivated it.
I got Bradley to help.
Great, you fuck with mine, I'll bring back oldies that you hate.
I don't fuck with anything.
How dare you cast aspersions?
I'm aware that's said incorrectly, by the way.
You're not a Captain Kim fan, are you?
I am a fan, but I haven't seen it.
Who?
Oh, that is spoken like a true ass licker.
Who the fuck has touched my shit?
I have.
Really?
Yes.
Let me just swear, Jenna. I have. Really? Yes. Don't need to swear, Jenna.
Listen here.
Someone has pulled the plug
on my tweets and I'm not impressed.
I did. Moving right
along. Okay, well it's the core of the show
so. It's not. It is.
It's what the show is founded on.
It's the spying.
It is the spying. No, it's not.
Oh, I need to find something. You guys talk amongst yourselves.
Just do it.
There's been so many sound effects already this show.
You and your bloody countdown and your low moan during the intensity and the bloody war cries.
There's just been so much.
I do love a drone.
Too many.
All right.
Are we done?
Yep.
No, that's not how it works.
We just talk shit.
Yeah.
Are you new here?
No, but I'm very upset that someone has meddled with my side of the desk.
What's actually happening?
And I think you're behind it.
Someone has pulled the plug.
Why are you winking?
The sound effect that does...
There's no sound...
I told you, we need to get our own cart range so people don't fuck with it.
Did you do something?
No. God, this is fucking annoying. You cart range so people don't fuck with it. Did you do something? No.
God, this is fucking annoying.
You watched me show up and come in the building.
You got here before me.
All right, Alex, can you Google the bald guy who's the judge on the block, please?
What's his name?
Darren.
What's the relevance of this?
Trust me, it's very highly relevant.
Darren Palmer?
No, he's also gay and a host, but he's got hair.
Shit producer.
The bald one.
John McGrath?
No.
Neil Whittaker?
Neil Whittaker.
Oh, dang it.
Those catcalls can time faster than me.
They can.
We got a DM from a listener who said,
Neil Whittaker says blinds the same way that you do.
Which is?
I only heard shutters.
With an unnecessary extra syllable.
Blinds.
I love the fact that I can control my shutters, my blinds, awnings.
No, he says it normally.
No, there's a slight.
It's funny, working with control, my shutters, my blinds, awnings.
It sounds like blinds to me.
There's a slight.
You're like blinds.
My shutters, my blinds, awnings.
Blinds.
Blinds.
I can control my shutters, my blinds, my shutters, my blinds. My shutters. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions. Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Lions. Lion. Lion. You were like, oh, you know when you, what was the context when you first said blind?
It just came up out of nowhere.
I can't remember.
You're like, oh, you know when you.
Don't you hate it when there's a mosquito up near your blinds?
Yeah, you're like, up near your blinds?
I was like, what the fuck?
I think because I was ending on the emphasis of blinds.
Like, it was the blinds.
But you're still adding an extra syllable.
Oh, who cares?
Fucking hell.
What's everyone's plan this week?
Oh, not a lot.
Now, I might be away next week.
We haven't discussed that, Mitch.
Okay.
We might have to do a no-show.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Is that what you think is going to happen?
What else will we do?
There's so many people I have in mind to fill in for you.
He's not even listening.
I'm not speaking.
I want to just give the people a taste of what they can expect next week.
Riveting.
Okay.
Cool.
Well, it's not going to be this next week.
I'll get someone in.
It's all good.
That's fine.
Can't wait to hear that.
Here's a preview of next week's show.
Goes for four minutes.
I've got time.
No, you don't.
Oh, we're getting live tweets.
Where did you find that?
Oh, my God.
Oh, we're getting them in.
Kelly Rowland's just missing the show.
Oh, she said, I loved it.
She said, Jenna, I've got the same thing with my nails.
Oh, and that's Queen Latifah.
She says, me too, Julie.
Oh, she names Jenna, poor thing and that's Queen Latifah. She says me too, Julie. Oh, she
names Jen, that poor thing. Who's that?
Mariah.
Just Mariah, not Carrie. She says, love the
show this week. Alex should have won. I agree.
Alex should have won. Did she not win?
Are you not keeping up with your own? I know.
Ridiculous. That person's clearly not listening.
Well, you guys can cut my
wires, but I just soldered some shit back on.
Oh, Facebook's back up now.
Someone's reported you for animal cruelty.
We've got another one.
I can't wait for next week.
I'll just be able to have a discussion, a conversation,
instead of some fool showing off with his bloody sound effects.
Don't be stupid.
We're on WhatsApp now.
Oh, does WhatsApp make that noise?
Yeah.
WhatsApp never works for me when I'm on Wi-Fi.
It's so annoying.
No, I wanted to buy something the other day off eBay,
and someone was like, yes, send the money through WeChat.
And I was like, what do you want me to do?
You're like, don't think so, darling.
That's not happening.
Like, I haven't powered up my Nintendo Wii in 10 years.
No, not that.
It's an app.
I was like, okay.
I have actually got a story to tell, a tale. powered up my Nintendo Wii in 10 years. No, not that. It's an app. I was like, okay. I have actually got a story to tell, a tale.
I sold my Nintendo.
Tell me if this is one, do it right or wrong?
Like, is this right or is this wrong?
Okay.
Surely there's some sort of opener for that.
Well, here I am endorsing sound effects.
Fucking hell.
I swear, Kyle and Jackie and Mike and Emma, both do right or wrong.
Really?
Yeah.
Can we use Kyle and Jackie's stuff?
Probably not.
So do it.
Use Mike and Emma's.
I'll just call Jackie.
Yeah, fine, mate.
Yeah, that works.
This will do.
Not like that.
Okay, one.
Let's play right or wrong.
Not like that?
Okay, let's play Right or Wrong.
So, I am... I think I told you this interesting fact about me.
I collect vintage Nintendo consoles.
Yeah, you told us.
I think you told us quite recently, actually.
It might have been last week or the week before.
Actually, no, it was on our Sunday night Instagram live that you told me.
No, and you told us another episode ago as well.
Maybe I have.
I have every console that Nintendo have ever released, all the special edition ones, the as well. Maybe I have. I have every console
that Nintendo have ever released.
All the special edition ones,
the clear ones,
I love them.
I don't really know why.
I don't know where it came from.
But the Nintendo Switch
is the new one.
Do you guys have Nintendo?
You don't know how
Nintendo Switch is, do you?
The Nintendo Swatch.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
No, I'm working for free still.
Right, you couldn't afford one.
Well, no one can.
They're out of stock worldwide
because everyone's in isolation.
Everyone wants a Nintendo Switch.
You can't buy them.
Hayden, my partner,
wanted a Nintendo Switch,
couldn't get one.
So we're like,
oh shit, okay, that's a shame.
We go to EB Games,
JB Hi-Fi to get some fucking TV
for my mum and dad.
And we go,
hi, are there any Nintendo Switches in stock?
No, there won't be any in stock
until August.
Really?
Yeah, we go,
oh shit, that's annoying. By then
the hype will have died down. Exactly. We go on
eBay. They're selling for $600. You're buying
for $450. People are buying
That seems like a lot. It is a lot of money.
I don't think my DSi costed that much. No, I don't think
it definitely did. So then we
go back to JB Hi-Fi the following week to get something else.
We're sitting there. We ask the lady, any
Switches? No. Fun fucking intern
walks past with a trolley
Full of Nintendo Switches
Full of them
So I go to Hayden
Let's grab one
So Hayden buys one for himself
They were probably ordered in
From other people
They were
There were like 30 of them
And then there were
Maybe 6 left to sell
And I went
Right
And I went
Right
I'll buy one
And Hayden bought one
And then I bought another
We bought 3
What?
Why do you need three?
For what purpose?
Because we wanted to make a profit.
So I bought one, put it on eBay.
Wait, how did you buy it?
Just with my debit card.
I've got money.
No, but like, how did you get it if it's not available till August?
Because they just got a shipment.
They just got that random shipment in.
And they have back orders.
I'm surprised they sold it.
I reckon that would have, they should have gone to the people that had back ordered it.
Well, the checkout chick was like, can we sell three? Like, yeah, why not? So he bought three. You're like, probably. back orders. I'm surprised they sold it. I reckon that would have, they should have gone to the people that had back ordered it.
Well, the checkout chick was like,
can we sell three?
Like, yeah, why not?
So he bought three. You're like, probably.
Anyway, then I put them on
Facebook Marketplace
for $600
and it sold in a day.
Are you kidding?
So then I met up with some boy
and he was like,
he's like,
hi, I'll come to your house to buy it.
I'm like, okay.
Come to the local cafe
because I don't want him coming to my house.
So I knew where I lived
in case he wanted to kill me one day so we met up at the local coffee
shop and he came up and he was so nervous his hands were shaking like hi this is the switch i'm
like yeah so oh cool it's my mom's birthday and we couldn't get one anywhere and she really wants
one and i was like okay 600 cash please oh you still did it i had to actually i bumped it down
to 550 so i only made a profit of $100.
I went, just have $5.50 is fine.
You know, I think.
How old was this person?
20.
Oh, you just said he was like a little boy.
That's five years younger than me.
I just imagined like a little eight-year-old. Now he was an eight-year-old.
But am I right or am I wrong for doing that?
Making a profit, being smart.
Well, look, you technically haven't done anything wrong.
But I do just think you're good for it like you don't need extra money you're already wealthy as fuck i'm not wealthy i don't know where that comes and also if you've got this
much spare time surely there's something else you could be doing with it i don't even know
i just thought it was a quick way to make 100 bucks and it was right yeah i don't know i mean
they were willing to buy they were clearly good for it i don't know
jenna right or wrong well i initially thought wrong because i imagined a little boy yeah but
now knowing that he's 20 and he's made the decision to buy it for 600 great then that's
fine alex yeah no i i envy people that are really good at selling things instantly for a lot of money.
I have attempted to sell clothes numerous times.
I mean, it's no Nintendo, but I'm a shocker.
I can't sell anything for the life of me.
So I applaud anyone that can sell stuff for a good profit.
I'm a wheeler and dealer.
I reckon I could.
Do you want to do a challenge?
Do you want me to try and, can I sell something and try to make a profit?
Ask your producer.
Jenna.
No, I'm just joking.
All right.
Well, I have this sound effect I'll play and I'll just play it anyway.
What's that for?
That's for wrong.
If anyone said right, I'm wrong.
I didn't have a sound effect for right.
What about my tick?
We play it all the time, though.
That's a good tick.
That's how you're meant to do it with a show.
You commit to the one sound effect. Very true. You know, people associate it with the time, though. That's a good tip. That's how you're meant to do it with a show. You commit to the one sound effect.
Very true.
You know, people associate it with the show.
Very true.
All right, well, we probably should get out of here.
This has been a very long show.
Yeah.
We've inherited a staff member.
We have.
I like you, Alex.
But there's no vacancy.
We've still got this bitch.
I actually love you, Jenna.
Excuse me?
You keep liking my tweets, Jenna. Every time I say something, I actually love you. I actually love you, Jenna. Excuse me? I hope you keep liking my tweets, Jenna. Every time
I say something, I actually love you. I actually love
you.
I do do that. It's not good. Oh my god, I got a
message.
Tangent. I got a message from some girl that I went to high
school with. Haven't spoken to her in years.
And she messaged me and she went,
Hi Mitch, what's the secret segment
called? I can't find it on Facebook.
She listens to the podcast. Well, how does she not know? Because she didn't know what enduring idiots, i can't find it on facebook she listens to the podcast
well how does she not know because she didn't know what enduring idiots we didn't say it in
the episode like we hadn't said it's enduring idiots also endurance is also confusing for
people some people don't know what endurance is some people have had prop someone messaged me
once how do i spell it and i said i don't know ask coombs i know there's a lot of times that
you go oh i've got a message once i'll I got a DM once because no one can prove you wrong.
Did anyone actually ask you that?
Yeah.
Endurant means that you're the most persistent and you suck around the longest.
You've endured our nonsense.
Her name is Lani and Lani ran a company.
She was such a business savvy gal.
She ran a company called Tans by Lance and she would tan people in the lunch break and stuff.
Little mogul.
Young little Roxy Jacenka.
Now she's a beauty therapist.
Yeah, give it.
Oh, here it is.
See?
I want to see this DM that says, how do you spell endurance?
No, she didn't say how do you spell.
She said, what's the name of the group?
I was using that as another example.
She said, hello, I'm obsessed with your podcast, Darl.
I want to add into your secret Facebook.
Oh, so this is your mate?
Yeah, but I haven't spoken to her since.
Yeah, but I'm talking about the message
that apparently Endurant is confusing spelling for people.
We got that at the start of the show
and I think we've even mentioned it on the podcast.
No.
We have.
No.
I can't find it, but we have.
Of course you can't.
Hey, you're the one who's fighting it.
You go back and find it.
I don't need to.
I stand by my point.
I got a DM saying that you hit someone's mother with your car.
You can't prove it, but they said it.
I got that one too.
I was just trying to tell a nice story about someone who liked the podcast.
People.
Sorry, I always do that.
Actually, can I try something?
Just bear with me.
People do some weird shit.
A surge in young people inhaling the gas from cooking canisters
known as mains to get high.
You're going to make a sitting behind us.
I've done everything for you.
I've put my career on hold.
I could have been anything if I'd had the talent.
By the way, I've decided that rather than tidying up
any panelling errors you've made, I'm just going to let them happen.
Yeah, that's fine.
Here's the job that consumes.
Well, good, O.
This is Is It Just Me?
Hosted by a couple
of Mitches. Should one of us be Mitch
and the other be Mitchell just to make things easier?
You're Mitch. I only call you Mitchell when you're being
annoying. You always call me Mitchell.
Oh. Now
here's Mitchell.
Mitchell.
Worth it.
That was worth it.
What the fuck, Perry?
Imagine just reading that and going, yep, I nailed it.
Mitch Churl.
It must have been capitalised I, so she read it as an L.
Mitch Churl on Koss FM.
Yeah.
Mitch till my nude.
No, that's not. You don't get the joke. You replace the I with an L. Mitch to my dude. No, that's not.
You don't get the joke.
You've replaced the I with an L.
Mitch to Maldonalt.
Maldonalt.
Kulth.
Yeah, I get it.
Kulth 1065.
Mitch to.
Fucking stupid.
The other question to enter your group is,
who's your favourite host?
Is it not?
No.
What was it again?
It's Mitch, the best name ever.
Oh.
Do you think we should change the questions?
Shake it up a bit, like a mid-season shake-up.
You can do whatever you like.
It's up to you.
No, but I'm putting it into discussion
because that's what a good show does, you discuss.
I responded with, I love Mitch Churl.
I did say that.
Very funny.
And you let the dog in.
Yep.
I let her in.
I've installed a little doggy door and everything just for her.
And if anyone wants the roadkill photo, hit me up in the group. I'll let her in. I've installed a little doggy door and everything just for her. And if anyone wants the
roadkill photo, hit
me up in the group. Thank you so much.
You have to offer a very
substantial
That was a tough one.
That was really hard. The Endurant
Lidiots. Oh yeah.
I reckon the I has to be either in the middle or the end of the word.
I agree, yeah.
I do hope that one day they find Madeline McCann.
Oh.
I still have hope.
You know what my favourite Katy Perry song is?
Harley's in Hawaii.
That's a double one, too.
Harley's in Hawaii.
You know, when I was in Hawaii last,
I had the most beautiful coconut tickle drink.
Ticky.
Different.
Anyway.
You know what?
I met this boy the other weekend.
He was so nice to me, but he ended up being bisexual.
What?
Like that's some sort of flaw.
Nothing.
It was just a fake story.
It was a farce.
I think that's a Freud of flaw. Nothing. It was just a fake story. It was a farce. I think that's a Freudian slip.
Anyway, this whole coronavirus thing is really driving me mad.
It's funny when it's in the middle because you don't expect it.
Anyway, you can follow us on Twitter.
It has to be at the end.
Otherwise, she would have said,
Mulch Churro because there's an I in Mitch.
So it has to be at the end. Not she would have said mulch churro. Because there's an I in Mitch. So it has to be at the end.
Not necessarily.
I think...
Don't make it harder.
It's already quite dulcical.
Anyway, you can listen to us on All Heart Radio.
You can on All Heart Radio.
Please leave a review.
Five stars would be great.
Ever since I posted that passive-aggressive message in The Enduring Idiots,
we have got ten more reviews. I've got
mixed emotions about that because
one of our reviews now says,
I only wrote this because you told me to.
And that makes it sound like we're like,
we bully our listeners, but because
the purpose of the reviews
is people browsing for new podcasts will go,
alright, what do people think of this? Just like you'd look
at a review on eBay before buying an
awful product. And people are going to go to our reviews
and say that it says
I just did this because you told me to.
That doesn't help anyone.
Also, we got an extra one star review
so I didn't ask for that shit.
Did we?
Yeah, all the little one stars
bumped up a bit further.
Please don't give us a one star review
because that ruins our livelihood.
Yeah, keep that to yourself.
We need to stay on the cloud
for as long as we can.
Absolutely.
Jenna, it's great to keep you
and Alex, it's great to have the open invitation
for you to be here any time. Thanks for having me today.
Any parting words?
Woody Allen is not a genius.
Good to green more.
I hate him.
I think that's very valid. Yeah, I think that's a full.
Alright, ball guys.
I'm saying bye with B-I. Ball guys.
Ball guys, see you next week
Ball guys
See you on Monday
No, it didn't work
No
You suck anyway
Talk to you soon
What are you doing?
Ludgium
Huh?
Ludgium
Why are we over this?
It can't be at the start
We've been over this
Let's not just me
Let's not just me
No, it can't be at the start of the word, remember?
It has to be in the middle or the end.
All right.
Ball guys.
Ball.
See you next week.