Is It Just Me? - #30: The Trolley Witch

Episode Date: May 31, 2020

In this episode: Churi has been asked to become a father (06:40) Do you ever 'watch later' the things that you add to your 'watch later'? (18:09) Georgie Gardner's mispronunciation on 9 News (21:40)  Jenna's Junk (30:03) Our "secret segment" ADDebrief (50:48)   Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. A third in young people inhaling the gas from cooking canisters known as mains to get high. Some things make more sense than others. I've done everything for you. I've put my career on hold. I could have been anything if I'd had the talent. Brace yourself for observations you didn't ask for. This is leadership. I think he's one of the greatest leaders we've ever had.

Do you? Yeah. Well, goodo. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Should one of us be Mitch and the other be Mitchell just to make things easier? You're Mitch. I only call you Mitchell when you're being annoying.

You always call me Mitchell. Oh. Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Ah, surprise you didn't remove me from the opener. Oh, why would I do such a thing? Welcome back. Thank you for having me. How was your little gay getaway down the coast? It wasn't a gay, I had to get surgery.

What do you mean you had to get surgery? I didn't. Imagine if I got gastric banding and then in six months you're like, you've lost so much weight, you're doing well. But I didn't actually go away, I got severe gastric banding surgery. Severe? Gastric banding surgery gastric banding i i used to think when i was a fat kid oh i should just get surgery to lose weight but apparently it months up your diet because it like shrinks your stomach all you can eat is like a tiny bit of chicken and then you're full we can get the banding i've looked into it which is

literally like a ziploc around your stomach and you can undo it at any time. Or you can get your stomach removed. What is that? Sorry, it's Chromatica release day. Oh, you idiot! New Lady Gaga album. You expect me to just put that aside and focus on this show? Oh, as if you haven't listened to it already. I have, like, three times. Really?

And you expect me to pause and just dedicate my time to this show? No. It's a big day for us fans. Oh, this is Babylon. No. Sour Candy. Oh, I love that shit. Do you know how usually albums are released US time and Sydney time?

That's like late afternoon, 2pm or so. I woke up and there was an Apple Music notification saying, oh, Chromatica by Lady Gaga is now available. I was like, excuse the fuck me. Did you not know? No, I didn't know it was an Apple Music notification saying, oh, Chromatica by Lady Gaga is now available. I was like, excuse the fuck me. Did you not know? No, I didn't know it was coming out our time. It was like coming out at midnight local time. So New Zealand would have gotten it first.

And as we record right now, the US literally just got it. So I woke up and I listened to it twice before work and I've just kind of had it on in the background all day, including right now. It's a lot of energy for 4am. Yeah, exactly. A little bit of Black of energy for 4am. Yeah, exactly. A little bit of black pink doing their thing. Yeah.

Anyway. So what actually were you doing? Obviously not gastric band surgery. No, I had a beautiful week off with my lovely homosexual partner. It was fantastic. We enjoyed it. He left the hit partner at home. Yeah, I did.

Yeah, she's in the basement for the week. Poor Catherine. Poor thing. She's studying. She's going to be a nurse. I gave her tea when you said that. What about Serena? Serena passed her test because she's at uni.

No, we had a great time. We spent his family have property of the Northern Sea region. So we stayed in his parents' holiday house. Really? Five bedrooms, I tell you what. I mean, once you've fucked him, what are you going to do with the others? Did you have it to yourself? No, I'm joking. That was disgusting. We had the whole house to ourselves. Five bedrooms, I tell you what. I mean, once you've fucked him, what are you going to do with the others? Did you have it to yourself? No, I'm joking.

That was disgusting. We had the whole house to ourselves and the neighbours knew something was up because it's a holiday home. Clearly no one's ever there. All of a sudden, there are these two guys buddy-voking to rain on me

and then they're like sticky-beaking around. I went on a run. Yes, run. One day. Oh, fucking, it's very hilly in the Nelson Bay region. It was horrendous. I thought I was having a pulmonary embolism,

but I wasn't. I was running back up the hill, so puffed, listening to to some i think it was rain on me the day i came out and the neighbors were cleaning in the garden and they said something you know you're listening to music and all you can hear is their mouth yeah and i went yeah it's hot isn't it and then they shook their head and went oh i went yeah and it's so hot and they're like no pardon and i was like, oh, God! So I put the headphones in and I jolted the other way. It was very like get out. What the hell?

They wanted to kill us. I got that vibe. It's not like you to just like flee from awkward social interactions. You usually thrive in that scenario. Flee from a conversation. Do you guys get kissed in this area? That's the sort of behaviour you'd expect from me. I'm the awkward Mitch.

Yeah, you're very true, actually. But you could have coped with that easily. Why were you so rattled by the random neighbours? That's why I love coastal towns, because they'll listen to me. You know what I mean? I make a booking. I'm like, oh, I'd like to make a booking for two. She's like, oh, no worries.

I'm like, yeah, I'm from... Do you ask where I worked? She's like, no, sir. I'm like, oh, good, that's fine. But I'll get there. Reservation under Kiss. Sorry. Oh, under Mitch till midnight. Oh, again. Just Mitch Cheery from Kiss Nights. Oh, I'm like, oh, good, that's fine. But I'll get there. Reservation under Kiss. Sorry. Oh, under Mitch till midnight.

Oh, again. Just Mitch cheery from Kiss nights. Oh, I'm so sorry. She's hung up. That's just me. I love coastal towns because it's a fresh start. Fair enough. It's like Ellen living in Monterey.

You know how she has a coastal home because of the anonymity? No, do you know that? No, I didn't know that. That's a fun fact. Only an Ellen fan would know. The holiday was great, but that's about it. You know what? I did miss you two.

Oh, we missed you too, darling. And I'll be honest, when I saw the video with Abby Schleipfield, I was jealous. Yeah, I'd love to get her back on. I feel like you two would get along. She was great. She was good. Actually, she did follow me on Instagram, which is very nice. That was a power move. You know

when you follow your partner's ex on Instagram? It's a power move. I felt like she did that to be like, I'm going to fill in when you're sick next. She was like, I'm the talented fill-in that brought in all these new listeners. Very successful episode that was. She really did. But she actually was great. So well done. Jenna, you stood up. We had a comment saying

I loved more airtime, more cloud time from Jenna. Yeah, I don't know why. Well, we're doing Jenna's junk today. So plenty of Jenna coming up, right? We are. There's a lot of junk today. These are the shit bits that we decided not to put in the podcast. And then she rummages through the trash and brings them back to us.

Like a little ferret. Correct. I actually think we should clarify because we do idjams here on the show. And didn't we have someone write in and say that that in itself is horribly confusing? It's a whole thing. I thought I've been saying to you off air, we have to say every time we introduce the show, IJM is, is it just me? That's what those letters stand for.

I-I-J-M. But you never listened to me. I think it was episode one that I said IJM, right? Yeah. I think, and then we've maybe explained it once or twice. Apparently plenty of people in our Facebook group have missed it and only just realised that when we kick off each week with an idjim, that's an is-it-just-me-each.

Not an idiom. No. You idiot. No, exactly not. Anyway, that's what we do. We start every week with an is-it-just-me. It's something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Oh, it feels good to say that again.

I'm back in the chair, girls! I think I'm going to start because this is something that happened to me on my break and someone contacted me, but I have met a couple of times and they asked me something that has shaken me to my core. Okay, well, let's not muck around. Take it away, Bradley. Okay.

Is it just me or? Is it inappropriate to ask someone to be a sperm donor in the middle of a global pandemic? What? Jenna, don't you laugh. You might need some of my spunk one day. You might have a leftover mason jar. This is the question. I don't know.

Is it just me or is this allowed or is this a thing that's appropriate? Because over the break, two lovely gay couple that I know, I've only met once through KISS. They're quote unquote fans of the station, not myself. Okay. They messaged me. I had them on Facebook and they asked me if I'd be their sperm donor. What? Wow.

How do you bring that up with someone exactly? I know. She DM'd me, especially considering the last time we spoke was her asking how she wins ticket to bloody the Easter show. Call 131065. You can also have her come. That's wild. Can I see the message?

Yeah, yeah, you can. I'll sanitise me here. Don't say her name because... Yeah, yeah, no, all good. Did she randomly just message out of nowhere? Mitch, can you get the date before that and see how long it had been since we'd spoken? Don't say her name. Anonymity.

Oh, you haven't spoken for like two years. Yeah. And then out of nowhere. Oh, my God. Am I allowed to read the message? Yeah, I just want to preface by saying in no way are we shaming them. I think it's amazing and I love that they've reached out to me. No, but it's a confronting message to receive, no less.

Hope you're doing well. No, this is completely random message, but we are in the process of starting a family and looking for known donors. So we wanted to know if you would consider being our donor. Wow. This would be done over a drink usually, but due to the world going crazy, we have to ask through message. Right, okay, that makes sense. She knew me.

She'd buy me a fucking burger. That's how you get my cum. Sorry. Sorry. We know this is a big thing to consider, but thought we'd ask. Please don't think we will be insulted if you say no. Any questions, let us know. Wow.

Lovely that they thought of me. What do they mean by you're a known donor? Well, I think. It's not like an anonymous sperm donor. I'm assuming that's what they meant. They know who I am. I assumed maybe you're on a website. Yeah.

Donor and me. Someone who has a history of donating. Yuck. That's crazy, though, because I've always thought, I've got to get me some lessee friends because, like, if I had to be really honest, if I look into my future, the likelihood of me having a partner who I want to, like, adopt with or, like, surrogate with, it doesn't seem like something that I'm dead set on happening. So I've always thought the way I might have kids, if at all, would be being asked by a

couple to, you know, do me a bit. Yeah. And then I'd just be like a part-time father or whatever, you know. I don't actually live with them and all that. Let me send them your email and you can take it from here. Imagine if I became a father. Well, that's what I thought. I don't want to be a fucking father.

I'd be a great father. You would be good. And I'd be the fun dad. We'd actually be good co-parents, not as a couple. But we would. We have a good balance, you know? And in a dark room, you could be mum. Yeah, it's true.

Anyway, I wanted to know, how does this work? Because do I just, like, is there a clinic? Or to save, because that would cost money. Or to save costs, right, for this young couple, do I just, like, do it into a turkey baster and squirt it in? I honestly don't know. So, we have a friend of the show, he works at KISS, he's Kyle and Jackie O's resident in-house doctor, Dr. KISS. Oh, yeah,

of course. What's his real name again? Dr. Sam Hay. Pass my phone, because his number's on there. Oh, you're going to give me a call later. I'm going to call him, because I want to know how it works. What if we go to a clinic and they go, yeah, just jerk off into this cup, but they provide straight porn? I'm like, that's not going to work.

He could be still at his practice like actually being a doctor. He's not just a media doctor. No, he could be. He writes for news.com.au, KidSpot, Body and Soul,

AU. He's a health expert. Is he? All round, yeah. Apparently he's the doctor in the jungle and I'm a celeb. Is he really?

Yeah, he's like behind the scenes. He goes over to Africa whenever they film it for you. Look at us! Abby Chatfield, Dr. Sam Hay. Maybe I'm making thatleb. Is he really? Yeah, he's like behind the scenes. He goes over to Africa whenever they film it for you. Look at us! Abby Chatfield! Dr. Sam Hay! Maybe I'm making that up. Sam Hay speaking. Hey Sam, it's Mitch, Mitch and Jenna. How are you? Great, thank you. How are you guys?

So good. I've only just found out your real name too. I thought you were actually Dr. Kiss. What the hell? Oh really? No, Dr. Sam, but you know, Dr. Kiss here and there. Imagine that was his Christian name. Dr. Kiss with two I's. That would have just been great, wouldn't it? Good planning.

Thank you for coming on with such short notice. I'm in a bit of a conundrum. I need help. I've been approached by, I mean, I guess I can say a friend, someone I've met once and her lovely partner. They've messaged me out of the blue, haven't spoken to them in a year, and they've asked if I would consider donating my sperm

so that they could have a baby. Excellent. Well, there's the thing. I'm terrified. Living the dream. Lucky you. I don't know. First of all, I don't know where I sit with it,

but I want to know how it works. Like, can we just do it together? Can I go to their house and do it in a Pyrex dish? Are you worried that you're going to have to root her? I might have to have to sit. That could be a cheap way to get out of it. I don't know if you have to pay for it. How does it normally work, Dr. Kiss, when this sort of thing happens?

Well, there are lots of ways that it could happen, and I've certainly known of groups of couples who have literally got the male to, let's say, put the ice cream into a container and then they get a turkey baster and literally suck some of it up and squirt it in. What? There we go. Oh my God. So do they do that just at home? No medical people involved?

Is this their own DIY? So do they do that just at home, no medical people involved? Is this their own DIY? I have definitely heard of couples doing that. Because, I mean, look, let's break it down to the act of sex, of intercourse. That's basically all that's happening. The old fella is brashing and crashing around and away things go. So it is very achievable for people to do it in the warmth of their home and see how things go.

Obviously, though, you've got to consider doing that every cycle. And when couples are trying to get pregnant, they're generally looking at trying to have sex every second day at least through the middle of the cycle when it's more likely that egg's being released. Oh, yeah, because you might not get her pregnant the first time. That's right. So I could be dropping off a regular deposit for them. I could just, you know, give them maybe like a month's worth, you know, a cup, and they might be able to freeze it

and defrost it like your chicken breast before you have a styrofoam. Yeah, that's one of the challenges. It's not going to last well in the fridge are you freezing it so it's going to be a one use only uh each time so so say for example you go the other route which is professional are there clinics where i can like go and do it like in a room and that'll give me like pornography to to do? Is that the official way? Look, I don't think you have to be as literal as do it in their venue, but from time to time they probably do ask you to. In general, you would do it at home and you've got to get it to them,

keep it warm. So blokes literally keep the little container down their pants or underneath their armpit and take it in within the hour and they'd process it. She's like Uber Eats. Imagine if the Perspex bloody smashed under your armpit. That would be the foulest thing ever. No, no, no. So I don't know if this is a question for you or a lawyer,

but would Mitch be hypothetically listed as the father on the birth certificate or would there be two mothers on there? Oh, I'm really not sure about that. I think it all depends on how that process is done with regard to is it done as an anonymous sperm donor or not. There are lots of legalities around all of that. Probably different in different states as well. Yeah, that's true. That's something you have to think about, Mitch,

because if things turn sour and you are legally the father, they could, like, get a lot of money out of you in the court. Yeah, and then when they turn 18, they could just come barking up my tree, right? I mean, I don't know. I really don't know how it works. This is a whole new world. But hey, at least we know how you deliver the donation.

Invest in a bain-marie and just keep it on heat. Oh, God. All right. Sorry, Dr. Kiss. You've been probably in the middle of your meal. I appreciate the call. You've really cleared it up for us. Thank you.

Good luck, mate. It's very exciting times for you. Would you be Godfather? I don't know. Is that my right to ask? I don't know. See, it up for us. Thank you. Good luck, mate. It's very exciting times for you. Would you be Godfather? I don't know. Is that my right to ask? I don't know. See, it's all confusing. Good luck.

Thanks, mate. See you. See you. Bye. Cheers. Bye-bye. He's lovely, isn't he? See, that's where it gets complex because you probably would need to get a lawyer involved

because if like in my mind, you know how I said that my ideal world is that like i am technically the father i'm allowed in their life i'd go to the performance nights i'd go to the assemblies all that stuff but like i wouldn't be with them five nights a week i'd be able to visit and you know do birthdays and stuff like that all that but you'd have to actually get something in writing wouldn't you because it's like what if they decide that i'm not doing enough and then i'm like well i thought that i was doing this is what i was going to do all if they decide that I'm not doing enough? And then I'm like, well, I thought that I was doing, this is what I was going to do all along. They decide he's not doing enough.

We need more money. Like if they could actually, it could become very complex. But see, all jokes aside, like it is a serious thing. And if they're listening, I love them. I don't want them to think we're making fun of them. I'm just going through my own thought process. Yeah, it's huge. I actually don't think they want me to be involved at all.

I think they want me for my little sperm. Well, they're normal sized, actually. They want me for my sperm and that's it. I'd imagine I sign all sort of, not ownership, but I'd sign everything away and I'd have no contact with the baby. I don't think you would be able to do that. I wouldn't. Especially if you know them.

You'd be Instagram stalking all the time being like, where is little Joffrey? I need to see him. So did you end up replying to them or what? I did reply. And I just replied saying, after three days, she bumped it. Like she was buying a used grill off a bloody Facebook marketplace. Bump.

N-I-L. Negotiable? No, you can have the car for $10. She said, hey, ex, how are you? And we had a little bit of a small talk. Then I just said, hey, look, I've thought about it and I've spoken with my partner, although I would love to help you guys out in starting a family.

It's something we'd maybe consider a few years down the track but not something I'd be comfortable doing currently. I'm sorry if that throws your plan off but definitely touch base in a few years if you're still looking at that option. Yeah, I think it's a timing thing. Like it sounds like something that could work but like now, hmm. Yeah, I think it's a timing thing. Like, it sounds like something that could work, but, like, now?

Oh, definitely. No. You don't even know how to use a washing machine, darling. You can't be a father, for fuck's sake. I definitely don't. Also, I've got a bloody, you know, brain disease. What if I pass that down with my sperm? I mean, it's not exactly life-threatening.

No. It's like it wouldn't be the worst thing. But that memory. PR malformation is not, like, some sort of thing you wouldn't want to inherit. But that memory. That memory, I know. They'll finally tell the baby when it's 18, your father's Mitch Cherry from radio fame.

Oh, who's my father? That'd be awful. You idiot. All right. Thank you, Dr. Sam Hay. What a legend. Follow him on all socials, Dr. Sam Hay. Hey, look, speaking of Facebook marketplace,

you just mentioned my idjim this week is about an equally shit function within Facebook. Are you ready for me, Bradley? Oh. Let's go. Is it just me or? Do you never watch later the things you add to your watch later? Oh, that is. That goes for Instagram as well.

Oh, can you do that on Instagram? Yeah, the little save button thing. What save button? Oh, that is great. That goes for Instagram as well. Oh, can you do that on Instagram? Yeah, the little save button thing. What save button? Oh, hold on. That little... It kind of looks like an envelope. Yeah. Let me find it.

Like a bookmark thing. Yeah, that's what it is. It's a bookmark. So if I went like this, that little thing, see, on the right. Is that what that is? Yeah, it adds up to your collection and then you can go and look at all the things you've saved. Oh, I think my fat fucking palm just accidentally knocks it. The amount of photos that are in my collection.

Well, that's the thing. I have a lot of things, but I've never ever thought to myself, I've got some free time. Let's go and watch all these things that I've been popping aside. I never remember. I don't even know what's in there. See, I actually, going back to my memory thing, I actually use that function for eBay. I shop on eBay all the time. Oh, but that's different.

I'm talking about videos you add to your watch later on Facebook. Where do you even find it? I don't even know. I'm looking at my Facebook now on my phone. I don't even know where it is. If you go to saved. Oh, right. So you go. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you go settings down the bottom right. Those three lines. Yeah. And then you go saved

and then, oh my God, there's so many. Oh my God. Honey mustard glazed ham recipe from Tasty 32 weeks ago. Video two. That's very you. How I memorized an entire chapter from Moby Dick 36 weeks ago by Vox. That was me trying to enhance my memory. What about this one?

Just a couple of cool dudes in cowboy hats, and it's a video of two frogs with hats. Oh, my God. Shit, Jan, that's disgusting. What's in yours? See, it's such a useful function in theory because, like, when you're, you know that really frustrating feeling when you're in public and you see a video that you want to watch but you're like,

oh, God, it has audio. I'll watch it later. I never do, ever. All the photos I saved of Hayden when I thought he was cute. Really? That's creepy. It's not creepy. You can go back and stalk them as much as you like,

but you don't save someone's photos that you're trying to hook up with. Especially considering I didn't know where they went. This is so interesting. I'm going to sit at home and go through this. I wonder if Pornhub has this. Watch later. Yeah, because the amount of tabs that I open. Hold on, I'm going to look.

I'm just bringing it up on my 4G so that the work Wi-Fi doesn't block it. Just get a video up and see if there's a save later or a bookmark. Yeah, but what video? You said a video. What do you want me to look at? Oh, nothing specific. Just good old-fashioned sex. Good old-fashioned sex.

What the fuck, Jenna? I've got a video that I saved. I think you had a video saved from a box brownie camera from 1700. I filmed the Hindenburg crashing into the German field. Let me find out. Oh, my. This one's called Good Old Fashioned Missionary Sex, by the way. Okay.

There's a button that says add to. Add to what? I'm hitting it. It doesn't do anything. No. I don't think that does anything. Nothing really. It just asks me to log in.

Oh, who has a Pornhub account? They were doing free premium memberships during the peak of lockdown. Were they really? Yeah, for good reason. More people at home. I wouldn't want any of that to be public record. What? Like the porn that you watch.

Imagine an employer going, oh, hi, Mitch Cherry. Let me do a quick Google search. Oh, he's got Instagram. Well, that's their first mistake. Oh, hi, Mitch Cherry. You're listening to Is It Just Me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Yeah, go follow us at coupleofmitches on Facebook and Instagram.

If you're new here, one thing you should know about us is that we do love a good mispronunciation. Oh, we do. On this show. It started with Mitch over here saying blinds with an extra syllable, blyans. I had no idea I was saying it wrong. I just say blyans. It's all right, because I then had it brought to my attention that I was adding an extra syllable to extremely. I think it's correct, extremely.

But what do you think it is? Extremely. Extremely. It rolls off the tongue after the X. But I say extremely. You do. And so that's what I got called out for. Incorrect.

And even most recently, Miss Katy Perry, global superstar. We were making fun of her for not being able to say your last name, Churi, properly. Metchtroll. Stupid. Metchtroll. Dumb. Metchurl. Stupid! Metchurl. Dumb! Metchurl. Come on!

Well, you'd be glad to know that I found another mispronunciation that I'm sure you're going to love. By another fallen celebrity? Well, not quite Katy Perry level of celebrity, but it was Georgie Gardner. No! What's she done, poor thing? Well, she was obviously doing her thing,

reporting on Channel 9 News, and she's done what you and I are both guilty of, and that's adding an extra syllable to something. As soon as I heard it, I was like, right, I'm going to be bringing that up on the show. Sorry, Georgie, you're our latest punching bag. So take a listen. See if you can keep an ear out for the word she said wrong.

She was reporting from Westmead Hospital about coronavirus. So the subject matter, not so funny, but keep an ear out for the word that she adds an extra syllable to. Georgie Gardner has this exclusive report. In the fight against COVID-19, Westmead Hospital is where Australia's battle was born. Department head, Dr Danny Goh, was in charge. There were so many unknowns.

How frightening is that? It's terrifying. Oh, no. Unknown were so many unknowns. How frightening is that? It's terrifying. Oh, no. Unknown. So many unknowns. I thought how many unknowns instead of unknown. There were so many unknowns. Go again.

There were so many unknowns. Unknowns. Katy Perry, you said Mitch Turi's name wrong. Why? There were so many unknowns. She just couldn't determine the I or the L. There were so many unknowns she just couldn't determine the i or the l oh so many unknowns oh fuck i'm on 11 i need to charge my phone oh it's my favorite thing when people mispronounce shit. We better keep going. That was normal. That was normal.

Oh, it's another one. We better move on. No, that's on. She's saying own, so you'd be adding an exosyllable to... Yeah, we've been going a long time. I really need to go home. Yeah, that works. Oh, you'd like some gelato?

Would you like it in a cup or in a coen? Welcome to Westpac. You're a young couple. I love seeing you guys and I've got great news. We've accepted your loan. My dog loves bones. No. Oh, that's general. You did

well. I'd love a good aerial shot of the building. It's a pity I don't own a drowin'. Oh, I love that new song Bad Child by that Toans and I. Toans. No, it's because it's got an end I after. Yeah, sometimes it's

funny when it's in the middle, but I think this one is better when it's at the end. Anyway, do you think this looks better in blue or maroan? Oh, I love this song. Is this the new one from Post Malone? Come on, you jolt. Get your head in the zone.

That's good. Goodness me. There's just so many. What else is there? What rhymes with own? Oh, I tell you what. Last Christmas, I was up with Judy in the North Coast around Cairns and we were hit by an awful cyclone.

Not funny. No one was hurt. I remember my friend Seamus in primary school. He got me to sign his cast after he broke his collarbone. You know, back in high school, everyone was dying left right and center. My good friend Denise, she was swimming in the lake and poor thing, she drowned. It's not funny. It didn't really work, did it?

Drown. No. I did like the lead up though. The lead up is always the best part. Mitchell, Mitchell, what instrument did you play in school? The oboe. No, this is an actual question. What did you play?

Saxophone. No, the saxophone. Fallon. There we go. I was trying to set you up for a good joke, but fuck me, I'll just be the funny one. No, because I was going to say saxophone, but I didn't know if you actually knew I played that. No, I did. Of course I do.

You do actually have a strikingly good memory. The Obowan. I went with Obowan. I should have known. Still again. Still the same. Still the same. Hey, I saw this report on a current affair the other night.

These poor women. They were getting breast implants with dodgy silicone. Oh, God. Neither of you really got any. Let me think Jenna's had You haven't had one Jenna Yeah fucking

I did have one I'm just not thinking Of any Look I'll I don't want to talk about Anymore But

My uncle was an astronaut Right Apollo 11 And he went up In the space rocket Yeah And as soon as he got back to earth He said

One thing Scared me more than aliens or terrorists in space. I said, what was it? He said, I looked down and there was a giant gaping hole in the ozone. It was beside himself. I had no idea where that was going. I think it's funny. It's like a really stupid lead up, like the backstory to where you get.

It's not what you're expecting. Bank Loan. Bank Loan. What else is there? the backstory to where you get. It's not what you're expecting. Bank Loan. Bank Loan. I would not have picked Jenna as the type to suffer hay fever, but apparently she's quite pro-en. Yeah, she is. You just have to end it

in E. Have an O and an E, isn't it? It just rhymes with what was it again? Hit the Georgie sound effect. Here we go, Georgie! There were so many unknowns. So many unknowns. She didn't get her head, she went, shit. I don't know.

Because it wasn't as bad as we're emphasising now that I listen back again. Hit it. There were so many unknowns. No, it's not as bad as we're making it out to be. You know, and the whole thing is sad that we're playing this on the day that one of the greatest broadcasters in Australian radio, host of Breakfast on 2GB, has retired. The infamous Alan Jones.

That was good. Thank you. I didn't know anywhere that was going. You should have known. You should have known. Oh, God. Alan Jones. I've got like a double barrel.

Okay, yeah, all this has been good. You know what motto I've always lived by? What? Sticks and Stowen. They break my bow and... But names never hurt me. That's the best. I want that written on my grave, Stowen.

Can't top that. That's brilliant. Owen. Oh, God. Jenna, out of all those What was the most iconic According to you? I actually really liked

The Alan Joans Yeah I think it was a great lead up What are you doing on your phone? Are you googling words That rhyme with own? No On your phone

I'm on the Oculus app On the what? On my fowen Like there's nothing near the truth We shouldn't be rude because we're in broadcasting too and we should not condone this kind of bullying on the cloud. Yeah. You know, Alan Jones, 32 number one rating books.

I mean, how long was he on the throw-in? Game of throw-in. Game of throw-in. Hey, we have a lot of fans on this podcast that love Game of Thrones That's true Very true If we bag it out they'll just start to mow and throw I love that hate the Bravo show with Andy Cohen Oh that's how you say his name

That's how you say it Oh now we do the reverse Oh yeah Andy Cohen becomes Andy Cone What how you say his name. That's how you say it. Oh, now we do the reverse. Oh, yeah. Andy Cohen becomes Andy Cone. What's the word that rhymes with Cohen? Lindsay Lone. Anyway, we should move on. In fact, do you know where I think this segment belongs?

Where? Jenna's Junk. Oh, I think so. Let's take a peek at Jenna's Junk. Oh, I think so. Let's take a peek at Jenna's Junk, shall we? Yes, our third wheel former producer, Jenna. God, it's been a while

since we've seen your junk, Jenna. Oh, shit! I know. It's not well maintained. Obviously, you see your junk quite often because, you know, it's quite a big part of your life. I'm always in my junk. And with those nails, too. It just would be hard to get in there and get everything you need. Yeah.

It's been a while since we've had a peek, hasn't it? Gosh. It's a very 80s vibe going on in the junk. Yeah. No, I wouldn't say that. Well, it's full. Let's put it that way. I mean, it's definitely full.

It's definitely full. So we throw our shitty ideas that we determine not good enough to bring up on the podcast into our junk. And then Jenna rummages through it. She sure does. And brings them back to us like a little boomerang. A lot of people enjoy this segment. They say it's one of their favourites.

Which is ironic because it's literally our shit ideas. It's the worst. This is where our shit ideas live. These are the trimmings of the main show. Anyway, Jenna, what have you got for us? So we've got the bin here. Go on, open it up. Get it up.

Hold on, put it on the desk, Jenna. There you go. Oh, jeez. It's heavy, Jenna. Dive on in is it just me or is there no need for the half flush option oh that was me i'll claim that one oh what a dreadful waste of water in fact disgusting no no i actually have worded that incorrectly there's no need for the full flush.

I only ever use the half flush. Then why did you put half flush? Because it was a half-baked idea that I axed out, so I didn't fine-tune it. I was going to say, that attitude shows you've never lived through the drought. No, I only ever use half flush. I don't shit volume big enough to ever require a quart of water.

Half flush is fine. Jenna, can you Google how much water is actually used in a half flush versus a full flush? We could just do the maths, but no thanks. Because it doesn't look any different when you hit one button or the other. Yeah, and the thing is they're always like at old homes or old toilets, when you go to like a Westfield, there's like one sensor and it just does one flush.

So I think they're phasing out. Do you reckon that the default is now half flush? It has to be. Surely. Okay, so an old single flush toilet can use up to 12 litres per flush. Fucking hell. Hold on. While a dual flush uses only six litres for a flush.

Even then, that seems like a lot of bloody litres. I guess it is sort of coming out constantly from the sides. There's a bottle of Aqualove water in front of me right now. Look, that is one litre. Six of those for one turd. But even a wee. Do you flush your wees? Of course. Sometimes I let it, if it's yellow, let it mellow.

If it's brown, flush it down. Why do you let it mellow? When I went to Warragamba Dam and we had a day there, and that's what the lady who taught us told us. Oh, that's when I went to Warragamba Dam and we had a day there and that's what the lady who taught us told us. Yeah. Right. That's what my dad was always like, if you do it, we just leave it.

Really? Maybe I need to change my habits. If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down. That's exactly what I've – where'd that quote come from? I have no idea. If you're listening in, send us it in because I feel like it's from something. The same genius behind, hey, mate, shut the gate, I bet.

Oh, she's diving back in. Shit, she's quick. Watch your nails, you'll cut yourself. Shut up. Okay, and this one. Oh, God. Is skywriting effective as fuck? Oh, that was mine.

Oh, really? It is. That adult language wouldn't be me. I don't have much else to add other than that. Is skywriting effective as fuck? Because it was actually at the start of the pandemic someone was skywriting in sydney just the words wash hands and god what what a driving hazard that was because i could not keep my eyes off it i was just i was compelled you and you called me like can you see it from where you are

yes you did you were in a totally different area of sydney i was like what does your angle look like no but literally everyone posted it on social media yeah i did and then i went on twitter the hashtag was trending wash hands and i was like wow it's very old school but it bloody works i guess the sky is the world's billboard everyone sees it well apparently only bits of sydney could see it like out west is too far away i could see it upside down though that's like when the christians put up a giant cross on Easter and I'm like, oh, someone playing noughts and crosses in the sky. But you were looking at it no less.

It's effective as fuck. Point remains. Fun fact though, there's only one skywriting company in Australia. Only one. Like a family business, that do it. Australian Skywriting. Australian Skywriting, yes, of course. We should make an ad for them.

Not now. Should we? I was getting ready for the jingle. Oh, fuck. Go on. Let's just do it. Do it. What is this for them. Not now. Should we? I was getting ready for the jingle. Oh, fuck. Go on. Let's just do it. Do it. What is this for?

Australian sky riding. Yes. The side of the road. The bus shelter. Maybe the back of an old school cab. No, no. Not for me. Not in 2019.

You've got the sky Way up high Baby blue It's for me and you The world is your campus With Australian skywriting I mean Brilliant What a shame that it's

Specific to 2019 They can't run that in 2020 My point is that they're homophobic And during the same-sex marriage debate They exclusively chose to write Vote no in the sky Oh my They can't run that in 2020. My point is that they're homophobic. And during the same-sex marriage debate, they exclusively chose to write vote no in the sky. Oh, my. I forgot about that.

That's all come rushing back. That was the whole thing where someone sky-rided vote no in the sky and then someone approached the Australian sky-riding and said, yo, can I write vote yes? And they were like, no. It goes against our Christian beliefs. For God's sake. Sorry, I'll just fix that one sec. We're fucked and shit!

Australian Skyrider. Yeah, brilliant. All right, what else is in your junk, Jenna? Sorry, I hit the wrong, sorry. Oh, God. Someone's in the mine next door. Wear your mask! Oh, these are pathetic.

Is it just me or do you not know what a sweater is? That was me. What do you mean you don't know what a sweater is? What the fuck is a sweater? A jumper. Sloppy joke. What's a jumper? Yeah, but hold on, hold on.

Like you've got a cardigan, then you've got a jacket. And a jacket to me is what I'm wearing now. Like it's got buttons. You wear it if you're going out for dinner. A denim jacket or, I don't know, like a corduroy corduroy jacket a jacket's a jacket right then you've got a hoodie which has a hood then you've got what the fuck is a sweater where does it fit in it's not a cardigan like i don't know what it is a sweater but it can't be because a hoodie is a fucking hoodie oh but it's the same with swimmers they call it togs cozies swimmers everything like cultural

thing there's different names for it like some people call it a sloppy joe a jumper you know sweater i picture a sweater as being one of those like american like really white family christmases where they're wearing like a picture of maroon sweater with like filigree pattern on the front like knitted that's what i picture a sweater to be really cold weather kind of vibe now that about it, who wears, like it kind of implies that you wear it to exercise or when you're sweating. Yeah. But it's like, I would hope they'd have a shirt on underneath. You don't want to sweat directly onto that.

That's fucked. So in that case. The fabric would reek. Everything I wear is a sweater. I'm constantly dripping. Exactly. If anything, your shirts are sweaters. God, my undies are sweaters.

Probably so. Dive in. Here it goes. Pathetic. We could do without the commentary. Oh, shut up. It's very off. Do you hate it when your blinkers don't click in time with the music?

That's mine, but I didn't realise that was still in the junk because I actually ended up using that on Schneider Committee. Sorry to bring it up again. Self-promoting! I actually ended up speaking about that on the other podcast so I didn't realise that was still on the junk. How embarrassing. At least it's nice to know that you're using the quality content for this show. Jesus.

They get the off cuts. This came about, can you look up on YouTube False God by Taylor Swift so you know that feeling when you're indicating you're at an intersection up on YouTube, False God by Taylor Swift. So you know that feeling when you're at it, you're indicating you're at an intersection and the music is playing and it's like, there's like a split second of satisfaction where it's in time with the blinkers. But then because either the song is slightly faster or slower, it ends up going out of

time. Yeah. Sorry, False God, Taylor Swift? Yeah. I was, I was driving to work at like 5am and I was at an intersection and this song was on and I literally, I noticed that it was in time with the blinkers and I was like, I'm just going to, I'm going to, I'm running early, I've got time, I'm going to see how long this lasts.

And it did not move out of time. Like I was sitting there at the intersection because there was no one else on the road at that time. For ages, it's been like, oh my God, it's staying in time with the blinkers. Yeah. so just like skip to the middle somewhere hold on you do the blinker and i'll fade it up and so 4am you're not turning? No, I was just like, this is great.

It was so satisfying. Also, a very good song. It's the closest Taylor Swift will ever come to releasing a sexy song. And her trunk honked its horn. It sounded just like her hitting a high note. It would have been perfectly matched. How dare you. Actually, she's not exactly known for her strong vocals, is she?

She's more of a songwriter, but she can obviously sing. You know what throws me? When this song was a hit, which was probably almost a year ago now, I had people call in the radio station to ask if we were playing this on purpose. This song, ready? Oh, yeah. Take a seat. That's like Zedd's thing, right?

Whenever he produces a song, he puts a blinker sound effect. Yeah. It's in Never Really Over by Katy Perry as well. It is in the is in the middle isn't it good on him and you've even got a little like a gas pedal ready take i don't know if that's in all of them but he does put blinkers in all of them there you go like you know how you know how some producers have like a signature they put in like mike willman yes he puts that in which is fucking annoying i had no idea what that like in that song i don't know but i don't know what song it is, but he goes, I look at heights.

I was like, what? And I live in an area where Lucas Heights is a suburb. I'm like, they made it in the local area. Some fucking daft punk hit. I look at heights. Okay, fair enough. I'm bored. Next. That was a good idea.

Okay, let's see. It's not this one. Yeah, okay. Oh, God. Can it get any worse? Is it just me or do freshly washed dishes smell fishy? I wrote this on the week off. Hold on.

A freshly washed dish. Like, let's picture all of us for consistency, like a drinking glass, like a wine glass. No stem. One of the modern ones. You wash it. You take it out of the dishwasher. It's hot. It's really clean.

And you smell it. It stinks of fish. I can smell the smell you're describing vividly. Yeah. But I don't think it's fishy. It's like. It's got a distinct smell that is very much foul in its own right. Yeah.

I don't know if it's fishy. And it pisses me off because I wash it with my fucking melee that my parents spent a lot of money on. But it stinks of something rotten. And it's always fresh dishes. Sometimes I'll pour a glass of water and I'll go to drink it and my nose will be in the cup and it will put me off the drink and I can't swallow.

Yeah, you're right. This is junk. Absolute junk. Next! There you go. I like it. Yep, yep, right. This is junk. Absolute junk. Next. There you go. I like it. Yep, yep, yep. This one. Do you love spelling fucking F-U-C-K-E-N?

I wonder who this is. That was me. That was me. Sorry for the adult language. You're a brand. Yeah. So when you're typing fucking in a message, it just has such a different energy when you spell it F-U-C-K-E-N.

You're like, oh, I fucking can't even. Don't even get me fucking started. F-U-C-K-E-N. Fucking. And you know it's wrong, but I always laugh extra hard when I read it spelt that way because it's just, like I said, such a different energy. In my mind, it's kind of like the difference between saying fucking

and fucking. That's my favourite. Fucking can't even. Fucking is very the tuck shop worker. The kid goes up, hi, Mrs. Brand. I'd like a hot pocket. We don't have any. You've asked for the 12th time, Lucy. Oh, but Mrs. Brand. Oh, we don't have any.

Please leave. Walks away. Fucking kid. Asked for a hot pocket the third time today. Hi, David. You know, just uses it to vent. Fucking. Would never say it to their face.

Again, a backstory that I did not see where it was going. Nothing better than a backstory. Oh, God. It's so different to fucking. Yeah, she would never go. Even F-U-C-K-I-N, fucking, is different to fucking. Would you use that fucking, for example, in a sexual term? Like, oh, I'll tell you what, last night Jimmy and Dave were fucking all night.

Yeah, you would use it if you were talking about someone else, but I hope you wouldn't say that in the heat of the moment, in your own encounter. Are you enjoying this fucking? Fucking. Are you enjoying this fucking? Ew. That's a good one.

It's a lot of adult language, let's be real. Yeah. Not for this show, goodness me. Maybe for, you know. Next! Okay, last one for today. Let's go with this one. Last one?

Okay. Is it just me or is it the most awkward mess of a thing when someone making you a sandwich says everything? What do you mean? Hold on, let me paint your pictures. And first of all, sandwich is spelt sand-wich. Obviously not me. It's clearly me in the heat of the moment.

This happened the other day. Okay, you're at a cafe and you come up. Say, for example, Subway. Ready? I'm the server. You're coming in. Just do a normal confrontation. Ready?

Go. Hey, how are you? Welcome to Subway. Hi. Hi. Can I get a- Or can I get you everything? No one's ever said that to me.

They always say it. This one place that I go to, it's a sandwich bar. And I walk up. You know sandwich bar, they've got shredded carrot, they've got pineapple, they've got sun-dried tomato, they've got everything. And this one fucking server, I always walk up, I go, hi, oh hell, you're back again.

I'm like, you're back again on my way to work. They know me. I'm like, I'm going to get a chicken roll. Like, awesome. With everything? Yeah. Fucking put anchovies with strawberry jam. No.

Not everything. And it's like, I have to sort of go, no. Let's start with mayo. Like, it's so off-putting. And it happened to Hayden. We both got a sandwich and she said everything. And he, like, didn't know what to do. He's like, no lettuce.

I have to point out every do. He's like, no lettuce. I have to point out every ingredient. It's so frustrating. I think you should have more empathy for this person. I think it's because, like yourself, they have a dreadful memory and they hate remembering specifics. And so they go, okay, do you just want everything? And in their head they're like, please fucking tell me you want everything because I can't remember everything you tell me at once.

But you can't imagine being a waiter at a fancy restaurant. Hi, welcome to Zanetti's. May I take your order? Everything? No, I'm not going to order everything. Everything on the menu. Reminds me of Harry Potter. Well, take the lot.

Yeah, yeah. That Harry Potter. So greedy. Can you think of the trolley deers? Sorry, I just thought of this randomly. I was talking about the other day about how the first two harry potters have such different energy to the rest a because they're the new dumbledore b they got a new director so it's just different in general but do you remember that lady that walked around with the trolley on the train

the hogwarts express and she'd be like you'd buy sweets and shit off her yeah do you remember in the first one she was so mild and like anything off the trolley dears and i think it was the third movie god didn't she fucking change she was like anything of the trolley anything and i was like shut up now you know what happened she went on a holiday with her husband and she went i just feel like i can be doing more with the role babe babe you're 60 next year season all right welcome back movie three movie three she went back to her acting tutor and was like, hey, I had this massive role in this huge film. I don't know if you've heard of it. It's actually called Harry Potter.

And here's a little clip of my role. Can you think of the troll ideas? What's your feedback? They're like, I think we can improve that. And then she spent two years in the lead up to the third film improving the one line she has. And then she comes back, she's like,

this will fucking blow them away. You ready for this, directors? Hold your horses. I'm fucking going to blow you away. Anything on the trolley. Can you look her up? What's her fucking name? Can I look her up?

Probably Mufflepuff or some shit. Fucking movie. She's referred to as the Trolley Witch. Oh, I searched Trolley Lady. Trolley Witch, close enough. Here we go, here we go, here we go. She's portrayed. Samsung ad, sorry.

We'll get through this together. Thanks, Samsung. Her real name is Jeanane southern the actress name okay see that's the third film after her tutor taught her to project now is there a clip of her in the first movie because she is so timid and like literally sound like she could be drawing her last breath. Okay. Much like the old Dumbledore who literally died.

Is Sorcerer's Stone the first one? Yeah. Yeah. Here it is. Are they on the train? Yeah. Anything off the trolley, dears? Oh, my God.

I'm all set. And then the other one, she's like, anything on the trolley? What happened? Someone's also made a video, Harry Potter Theory. What does the trolley witch do when not on the Hogwarts Express? And it's a seven-minute video. Oh, no. I don't want to know.

Probably a pole dancer of some sort offering different kind of treats. Chocolate frog. Well, it's not chocolate. I also think it's a different actress. I'm not going to lie. Well, it's not chocolate. I also think it's a different actress. I'm not going to lie. That was what I thought, but Jen has just said that it's this, what's her name? Jane Southern. She's 93.

She's still alive. I hope the fucking pandemic doesn't get her. What was her name again? Marigold Pooftoff. Wait, wait, wait. Geraldine Mugglewand. She's credited as the dimpled woman on train in Harry Potter and the Phosphor Stone. Her real name is Esmeralda Bogey Lick, right?

That's awful. What? McGonagall Birdie Bot. But this is her IMDB profile picture. Jenna, no one has asked for any of this. Jenna, this is why you deserve a demotion. Like, groundskeeper's one thing, but you're on a podcast. You can't be fucking referring to visuals.

Everybody, please look up Jean Southern on Google and go to IMDb and look at her profile picture. All fun and as poffle waffle alakazam. Don't disrespect Jean like that. Say, for example. Prudence Buckbeak. What is wrong with us one week apart and we've gone feral Prudence Buckbeak

that's so fucking funny imagine any new listeners we may have inherited from Abby's Instagram and they're thinking fuck this here we are laughing

at fucking Sylvester Salamander oh that's not funny. All right. Well, it's lovely to have you back, Mitch. Thanks for listening again, guys. It was really good to be back. And I think, you know, people are happier that I'm back.

It's all good to say. It is our 30th episode. Is that a special milestone? Oh, my God. I don't think so. I don't know. It's unknown. I really don't know.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. Oh, Jenna! Shit! It was right in front of us the whole time. Fuck, Jenna, that was brilliant. Well, episode 31 next week, I've got a bit of an intervention to do on one of my friends who I suppose you could class as an internet celebrity,

but he's posted a video that I've been very offended by. You guys like Alright Hey, right? Oh, of course I do. Yeah, he's very funny. Alright Hey. Well. Not anymore. He doesn't really start his videos with that anymore.

His YouTube videos usually start with that. Really? Yeah. And what, he's pissed you off? Yeah, he posted something deeply offensive. Like, we've always been great friends, but it's an issue now. So I'll bring that up with him next week. Oh, no.

I'll be a lot of moaning and groaning. You could have said mowing. Mowing. Mowing and groaning. Mowing Myrtle. Mowing. The philosopher stuff.

We should go. Brilliant. We really should go. Do a leaper. No, there's nothing. Yeah, you just said her name. Back next week. I don't think we can celebrate

for the 30th, 31st. No, that's nothing special. People do celebrate their 30th, though. I really should have done something for this show. I think we've done enough. When we get to our 50th, we'll do something. Yeah, okay. God, it's going slowly.

Only fucking 30? Why do you say that? I feel like we've done so many more. Nah. Really? Yeah, we're still young. Our little baby podcast. Yeah.

But a wee show. We'll be back with you next week. Thank you for joining in. This has been Is It Just Me, Mitch Turi. Oh, you've never done that. I'm just trying it. You usually say my name too. I'm trying something new.

I'm Mitchell Coombs. Thanks for your company. Good night. I'm Jen Vins. All right, see you guys. I hate walls. Rightio. Welcome to ADD Brief.

This is the secret segment at the end. We plan to trick people out of listening because, well, really, we think that this is less embarrassing, but that show was a bit of a mess, so really. You're getting the same shit here that you just did get. We fucking don't stay on track. To be honest, I think it's what people love the show for. Well, the thing about the main show is that we have a track to stay on. So when we

go off track, it could be funny or it could just be like you're just a lazy broadcaster. Very true. Just fucking focus. Whereas this bit, we don't plan anything. We just kind of set aside time to go rogue. Yeah, very true. Well, not much happens in this segment other than the fact that... Oh no, here we go.

I had to hide it from Abby because of, you know, COVID and everything. You can't get people touching everything you've got to do. Let me see if it works. There we go. Got it. Live tweets on the active and they're going. So that's what you can do.

You can tweet us anytime at couple of mitches they are gone um or you can you know give us a call on 186-443-902-8094 a new number 843-446-921 of course i have explained to you on multiple occasions that this is not a live broadcast so people aren't listening therefore they can't tweet their live feedback. But whatever. I'm done explaining. I understand. The thing is people tweet this show 24-7 in the hopes that we're recording. And if you tweet now, that's how it works.

If you get on, you get on. Sorry. At the door! He breathes. No one's there. Oh, you can't see him. So one thing that actually did happen last week, Mitch. Yeah.

I know that the rule is we don't prepare for anything for A to D, but I put two grabs over there. Got them. Down the bottom right. So last week on the show, I was in your seat because someone had to press the buttons while you weren't here. Of course. Not one error, I might add.

But anyway. I put mine in purposefully so people think it's live theatre. Good. Because that's what live theatre is. Of course. Full of errors. Yeah. Anyway.

Kate Blanchett will say that. Yeah. Good. Because that's what live theatre is. Full of errors. Anyway. Kate Blanchett will say that. Yeah. Anyway. So I was sitting in your seat and you often make fun of me for the fact that rather than wearing big broadcast headphones like that, I wear these tiny earbuds. Yeah, you do. Like when you look at us in our videos on Instagram at Couple of Mitches, it almost looks like I don't have headphones in, whereas you've got these giant cans over your face. Yeah, yours looks like something you get

in the Willy Wonka bag at the Easter show. So obviously I wore them, but I was over your side. On the main side, yeah. Yes. And I mentioned during the show last week that obviously this studio is home to the Kyle and Jackie O show. We're in the tower, yeah. Yes, I was explaining that to the girls who I was doing the show with, so take a to that first and foremost it's very weird using this studio knowing that kyle and jackie i also use it because if something's different i'm always worried that they'll notice i literally have in my phone notes a to-do list of things to put back the way they were after every time we record is it just me now the reason for that is that, well, first and foremost, we've never been given any directive that, oh, Kyle and Jackie can't stand when people use their studio. They couldn't care less.

But as a respect thing, I'm like, this is their studio. Like, I'm pretty sure other than your night show, no one else uses this studio. It's Kyle and Jackie O's studio and this podcast. I think that's it. I agree. And so as a respect thing, I'm like, I put everything back the way it was. That's one of the reasons. But the other reason is that Kyle and Jack are a little bit like us, where their attention span is quite easily drawn elsewhere.

So if they see something and they notice something, they won't just ignore it. They'll talk about it on air. Like, they're fans of Going Rogue. They're not like us where they set aside time to do so in a bonus secret segment. They do it on air. If something catches their attention, they're going to talk about it. So did you get corn? Yeah.

So, of course, the one week that I forget to do everything on my to-do list after we're done with the studio is the week that I was in Kyle's chair. And apparently, I think this is a bit of a technological flaw, but if you, for example, unplug a pair of headphones, like, Jenna, if you unplug yours right now, it's almost like the volume is divided evenly between all the headphones. So if you unplug one pair, the others get louder.

It's like when you're blind, all your other senses are heightened. Blind. So, I don't know. I think my headphones were over there. They were getting tangled in Kyle's chair. So Adam, their studio operator, decided to unplug them. And then that's when it became a whole thing on air.

And this is exactly what I didn't want to happen. I didn't want to be responsible for disrupting the biggest show in the country. And so this is what happened on air. Take a listen. Oh, my God. Sorry. All right. My headphones just turned on to like

nine times louder. What's going on, Adam? I don't know. You just blew my head out. Sorry. What the hell sort of place is this? Well, it just went loud all of a sudden. I just pulled the plug out of the bloody wall here and my headphones turned up 30 times louder. Hello? What are you doing there, by the way?

I don't know. I have an old pair on the ground. That's Jackie's head. Why muck around with it while I'm on air? Jesus Christ, you're a killer man. What did you do under there? I grabbed these and it's pulled them out. Whatever that's.

That little headphone jack, like a little Virgin Airlines headphone set. How could pulling that out turn my volume up 30 times louder. They look like a free pair of earbuds you get on Virgin. They give you this little packet.

Here's your headphones. Oh no! And so I was sitting there. Were you shitting yourself? Did you instantly watch you? Yeah, I'm on the other side of the glass. I bloody work for the show, so I was just like, oh, shit. I didn't want to say, oh say oh they're mine because i did get to work and be like oh where are my headphones dangled around kyle's cankle exactly and so yes we need to be extra careful before we leave today because even though it wasn't a problem they weren't actually

pissed off i just still i don't want to be responsible for interrupting the show and it becoming a thing to be fair though that is adam's job his job is to clean the show and it becoming a thing. To be fair, though, that is Adam's job. His job is to clean the studio and make sure it's ready for broadcast. I don't think it is his job to clean the studio. And plus my headphones, the Virgin Airline headphones, they're so petite and black, he wouldn't have noticed them under the desk until they were tangled in the bloody chair. Jenna, after the show, do you mind just scrubbing everything down?

Oh, shut up. Mitch and I have to go. I'm not even kidding. Last week, like, I respect their space so much that when Aislinn and Talisha left, I wiped the whole thing down with those bloody Dettol, what do you call them? The bacterial wipes. Yeah, antibacterial wipes. Yeah, those things.

So I don't want to be, not saying that Talisha and Aislinn are riddled with germs, but I didn't want it to turn out that they had a cold and then they left germs. You can't be too safe during this time. Oh, I can't believe I just said that. If there's one thing I never want to hear again, it's the three words, during these times. Put an adjective in there. During these trying times. During these challenging times.

In these times. You know what I hate? Unprecedented. What is precedented? Why don't we start there? During these precedented times. Yeah. When would you say that?

Maybe at a birthday party that everyone was invited to. Maybe when you're... You've never been there before? First time having sex. All right, this is... No, you've had sex plenty of times and you're just on a normal hookup. All right, this is pretty precedented for me, so let's just dive in. Is that what it means?

Uber Eats driver delivers food to your door. Oh, do you know how this works? Yeah, mate, this is precedented. No, but you have to say during these precedented times. Yeah, during these precedented times. Oh, when could you use that? You couldn't. You're a criminal.

You're being arrested for the 10th time. All right, mate. Hands up. I know what to do in these precedented times. You've been there before. No, but like unprecedented means unpredictable. So precedented is like predictable. Yeah, Jenna, can you these precedented times. You've been there before. No, but like unprecedented means unpredictable. So precedented is like predictable. Yeah, Jenna, can you Google precedented?

So it's like, what could you say that's predictable? Like when I'm having a mood swing, you're like, during these precedented times, you need a bath. Yeah, very. I think most of these are just typos because it says, did you mean during these unprecedented times? I'm just so sick of hearing all these radio ads that are like, oh, we're with you during these times.

What fucking time? We just got that ad before by Samsung. They're like, we're with you. I'm like, the one thing I don't need during a global pandemic is an OLED display. The last thing I need during these times is a fucking Android. Yeah, the last thing I want in these fucking unprecedented times is an air fryer, you piece of shit.

You know, I think Harper's Bizarre magazine has made a little typo. They go, during these precedented times, they need to know we are grateful. Oh, no! What's the definition of precedented? Yeah. Let's see. Oh, that's horrendous.

Oh, poor Harper. Having or supported or justified by a precedent. Oh, and what's a precedent? It's like an expectation, right? Like a standard that you're accountable to. Yeah. It is, let's see which one. No, Hari.

No, I'm looking at the different contexts jones and amanda they're probably used to this lol oh shut up okay it can be an earlier event or action that is regarded as an example or guide to be considered in subsequent similar circumstances so these are not precedented times because we've never had a pandemic like this yeah yeah right see. So it's for the first time. So pre-sedentary could imply that you've done it. This has happened plenty of times. Right. Yeah.

It is also a principle of rule established in a previous legal case that is either binding or persuasive for a court. Yes. I remember having to answer a question about that in my legal studies exam. Really? Yes. It could be a fancy way to call someone a whore too in high school instead of going, Nancy's a slut. You could be like, way to call someone a whore too in high school instead of going, Nancy's a slut. You could be like, well, I'm

really nervous to have sex with Greg. Well, why don't you ask Bianca? She's pretty priest-attended with that kind of thing. Were you a bit of a slut-shamer in school, were you? God, no, but I witnessed it at a Shire school. Oh, boy. I was school captain. I could not do that. Oh, were you school captain? In primary school and high school. You better believe

Landside Victory. I shattered the glass ceiling and then rebuilt it. Shattered the glass ceiling? Sure did. Do you know what that means? What does it mean? It means that... Yes. Of course I do. What does it mean? You tell me. I'm pretty sure it only applies to women by the way. No, it's a metaphor meaning that there's a glass

ceiling that affect women only and that men can surpass them but women are stuck by that so how did you shatter shit it was a fucking joke a bad one i didn't mean to do it i tripped and the ceiling was there and i knocked it and they all went look what he's done i don't mean i didn't mean to i'm a man then you rebuilt it i had to rebuild it shard by shard i couldn't afford glass it's just crimsafe crimsafefe ceiling. Anyway, we better wrap this up. The show's already been pretty long, don't you think?

I don't know. It is been a pleasure to be back. We have someone who's joined us on the line who has a message for me. They said they missed me in the break, so we'll just cross over to Chris. Say hi, Chris. Hi. Hi. How are you?

Hi. Hi, Chris. What a nice guy. I don't like him. Why? He just sounds horrific. Chris, say hi to Jenna. Hi.

He sounds stupid. Jenna, are you all right? You've been very aggressive today. You've been very mean. It's very precedent from you too. Often, you know, quite mean. And do you know what you've done? You've set a precedent where our listeners think it's okay to cyberbullying

Mitchell in our Facebook group, Enduring Idiots. They were cyberbullying me. Sorry, I just thought of another game. Using fake words that sound like the real word. Ready? You know who I really like? That new and precedent Donald Trump is fantastic. Just confidently saying things wrong is always funny.

Look, contractually to popular belief, I am not actually sick. I think you mean contrary. No, no, no. I mean contractually. Kath and Kim do it all the time. It's so funny. They do.

Pacific. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's do another one. It's like Kim used to go to Pacific Drive Primary. No, Pacific Drive Primary. Oh, funny.

And she goes, Kel and I are going on a specific cruise. Oh, nice, Mrs. D. We're specifically in the specific year going. That's gold. That's gold. What could we do? I don't know. It's just so funny when people confidently say something wrong.

It's so funny. Yeah. Well, I used to always, I thought compulsory meant you had the choice i did i did i genuinely thought compulsory meant you had a choice i remember when i started g7 they were like and sports is compulsory for every student i'm like mom that's fantastic and you're like phew literally and then when i got to school i'm like no no this is compulsory like yeah i'm like yeah like yeah I'm like yeah I'm like yeah I had to completely relearn what it meant and it fucked with me. What's the word

when it's not compulsory is there one or is it just not optional optional non compulsory they would say Oi so Jenna I'm pretty sure you made a video on WSFM it was like everything that Kath and Kim have pronounced wrong. Yes.

So what are some others? Could you make something useful for once? Do I have to get it up? Yes, you do. Oops, sorry. Hold on. That's a fan message. Hi, we loved you.

Abby Chatfield. Oh, shut up. That's nice of them to say. Just reply. You'd be forgiven for thinking that you're jealous of Abby because you've brought her up a lot. I'm not jealous. You're clearly not over it.

I am over it. I am over it. Do you know that Jenna is now getting hate in like the Kath and Kim Facebook? Shut up. Shut up. Fuck. Anyway, Jenna's now getting hate in the Kath and Kim fan group on Facebook. Why?

So it's called the Kath and Kim Appreciation Society, as in duh, and it's got so many members and the engagement is unreal. People just post quotes in there and they get hundreds of comments of people interacting. Fans. And I think Jenna has cottoned on to the fact that when something gets shared in this group,

it goes bananas. Yeah. So she has made so many Kath and Kim related videos for the WSFM Facebook page. And as soon as I saw them appearing, I was like, I know what your game is. Oh, you know her plan. I'm on to you, Dallin.

And then the other day she posted, I think it was like Kath and Kim bloopers on the Facebook page. And someone wrote, rather than sharing it, someone wrote in the Facebook group, guys, WSFM just fucking uploaded another Kath and Kim bloopers video. Brace yourselves. It's going to be shared in this group so many times because people don't realize it's already been shared.

It's like one of my Kath and Kim related TikToks got shared in there like 20 times. I was like, guys, it's already in here. Oh, we should just do some Kath and Kim related content and put it in there. Then we'll get new listeners. You haven't even watched it. I know. We could just fucking benefit off it. Pretend we love love that i mean i do i always said that we should just do an episode of this show where it's literally just you watching an episode of kath

and kim it goes for 22 minutes that's about as much as the main show goes for or even add rev we could just dedicate it to you watching kath and kim for the first time very true i would like to watch it but i just it's very actually the time. It's very, actually, because you're more, you're more of an appreciator of US comedy, like those bloody night shows, but it's very Australian.

It's so Australian. And it's much funnier. Like, even things that aren't meant to be jokes are funny. Like, would you stop eating the tiny teddies, Kim? It's just funny

because it's like, she's an adult eating tiny teddies. And the paddle pops. I have to say I do that as well. So with my fake Facebook that I've Mitch-inspired, Libby Elizabeth Trickett. No, it's the other way around. Elizabeth Libby Trickett.

Elizabeth, nickname Libby, last name Trickett. She had the name first before the swimmer, mind you. The swimmer just blew up and took her fucking namesake. She's furious. I have found the master chef australia 2020 group 90 000 members i joined that like two years ago there's only been a new series on now that everyone's loving because it's the all-star season and i posted in the group i said my top three gabby bruce lucille poo is too cocky oh my god anyway gabby br Bruce, Lucille. Poo is too cocky. Oh, my God. Anyway, Gabby, Bruce and Lucille are not contestants.

Yeah, I don't watch it. So then I incited some sort of war. Vicky Frost said, who are those three? And I said, well, Gabby's the seafood master, Bruce is dessert, and Lucille, well, not quite sure what she's good at. So you're just trolling MasterChef fans with your fake account. Then someone said, Moira Coates said, do you need help? Meds for house.

A cup of strong coffee and a cold shower. And then I was quite mean and said, no, Moira, I'm all good. You need something, though. Braces. Oh, God. It's not nice. And then she went back at me. She had a go at me.

She made a Shrek joke. She said, Shrek is wondering where you've got to. Your side of the bed is cold. That was her comeback. And she's not even looking at photos of you. No, no, no, sherek is wondering where you've got to. Your side of the bed is cold. That was her comeback. And she's not even looking at photos of you. No, no, no, she's not. Living has her own identity. Thank you.

And then someone commented saying, keep it nice, ladies. So then I replied, I agree. And then my out was, I'm so sorry, I've made an error. I actually mean the Indonesian MasterChef. That's what I'm watching. Do they have one? Can you Google it? I said, sorry, didn't mean to cause a fight. That's what I'm watching. Do they have one? Can you Google it? I said, sorry, didn't mean to cause a fight.

Then Princess Fiona piped up. MasterChef Indonesia. Oh, there is one. I did Google it to make sure. And then everyone commented, sorry, sorry, because they were being mean. And then when I said I met MasterChef Indonesia, they were all apologising. As if Lucille would be on MasterChef Indonesia. What were the other names? Bruce.

Salamat pagi, Bruce. Bike bike Saja, Lucille. Gabby, Bruce and Lucille. That's ridiculous. I have a lot of fun. Shit, that's funny. Not afraid to laugh at your own jokes, are you?

I remember the day my dad told me, I was probably nine years old, and he goes, oh, you're not afraid to laugh at your own jokes, are you? I remember the day my dad told me, I was probably nine years old, and he goes, oh, you're not meant to laugh at your own jokes. And I'm like, why the fuck wouldn't I? I'm so good. Back next week, episode 31. I don't really know what we're doing. I already told you. I'm calling all right.

I hate to tell him I think he's a cunt after posting slanderous content that offended me. Yeah, your memory. I know, I've already forgotten. Anyway, brilliant show. You know what? It is good to be back, and I will be real. I missed you. And I actually sent you a message, Mitch, saying I know, I've already forgotten. Anyway, brilliant show. You know what? It is good to be back and I will be real. I missed you.

And I actually sent you a message, Mitch, saying I missed you, didn't I? Yeah, but here's the thing. You sent that on a Monday and we usually record on a Wednesday. And I said, this is a very normal amount of time for us to go without seeing each other. Yeah, I think I saw you on the Friday. No, you saw me on the Wednesday that we recorded. And then you messaged me on the Monday being like, miss you. And I was like, we always go this long

without seeing each other. Yeah, but I didn't get a message of I miss you too. No, I'm pretty sure I did. And I didn't get a miss you or anything. Yes, you did. We spoke, Jenna and I spoke. I made that same observation to you though. I was like, miss you too.

I'm like, this is normal. Yeah, you did say that from memory. I was missing it. I really was. Just before we go, one more time, I'll just check that. You have zero missed calls. Something's wrong with that. I should do the check because it should have been working.

People would have missed me, for sure. That's random. Well, anyway, we're about to go. We should go. We'll catch you guys next week. I'm going to make this observation now. We did not get one tweet. It was very pleasant. Not one live tweet, that whole ADD brief, but it's too late now.

We've got to go. Thanks, guys, for listening. Bye! See ya! Don't do it. Someone's fucking deleted it again. You have done it, haven't you? No, I told you I didn't do it. And also, I love that you forgot to fix it because this has happened before.

No wonder we got no live tweets. You forgot to replace the sound effect. There's no sound effect. Who fucking did this? People who listened to episode 28 have already been through this. Who fucking deleted my sound effect? It wasn't me.

I'm going to play one that you hate just to be sure. Oh, that's your child. All right, next week I'll have a fix because there's some sort of problem, everyone. There's no sound effects missing because sound effects don't exist. It's a live tweet button function on the desk. It's a website sound effect. Oh, my

apologies. Oh, God. My misunderstanding. There's no sound effect. It'll be fixed next week. I'll talk to the techs. See you guys! Is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app or follow on Spotify