Is It Just Me? - #33: On The Blower

Episode Date: June 21, 2020

The episode where somehow we ended up making phone call after phone call...We also talk about -Foot fetishes & findom (02:35)Abolishing the ATAR (17:04)Imagining your own funeral (31:13)Teaspoons VS. Tablespoons (40:26)Our "secret segment" ADDebrief (46:40)Follow us @coupleofmitches See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. A surge in young people inhaling the gas from cooking canisters known as mains to get high. Some things make more sense than others. I've done everything for you. I've put my career on hold. I could have been anything if I'd had the talent. Brace yourself for observations you didn't ask for. This is leadership. I think he's one of the greatest leaders we've ever had.

Do you? Yeah. Well, goodo. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Should one of us be Mitch and the other be Mitchell just to make things easier? You're Mitch. I only call you Mitchell when you're being annoying.

You always call me Mitchell. Oh. Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Yeah, we're here. Here we are, back again. Yeah, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Yeah, we're here. Here we are, back again. Yeah, big week. I have... Actually, no, I'll save that for my agent, don't worry.

Oh, all right. Well, this week on the show, it's not just you, it's not just me. Jenna hasn't piped up and said, why am I in the opener? It's nice that you're going down a different route this week. Why aren't I in the opener? Where are you heading with this? I'm saying that it's not just the three of us.

We're having some fans on the show. We're doing another round of Is It Just You? Oh, yeah. We haven't done this for a while, have we? The last time we did it was about traffic, wasn't it? Something like that. But, yeah, we like to get our listeners on, give them the opportunity to vent about what's on their mind.

Yeah, because surprise, surprise, we're not the only people that think things. That's right. So it's nice to get other people on. So I've got three lined up. So I don't know anything about these callers. I did notice you on our Instagram story asking anyone if they wanted to come on. Yeah.

We usually only do one at a time. Have you got three because you're just too polite to say no? I had so many. I think I had about 16 at one point. My tactic was it's like when you're selling something on Facebook Marketplace. You say yes to someone and then when someone has a better offer, you say yes to them. And then someone else will message me, so I've committed to so many people. All right, all right.

So we've got some calls to get through later. Well, you've got three of them coming up from fans. Then you've got mine and Mitch's. The Is It Just Me's are something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate from the week, or something that comes into our head. It's the benchmark of the show. It's how we start. Mine is about, you know, I just want to shed light

on how well I did in high school. That's all I'm going to say. Great. He's a school captain. I can't wait to hear all about this. In primary school and high school, landslide victory. Really? Both?

Oh, really? Yeah, both. And it was a landslide victory. In both, yeah, both of them. Yeah, I really just represented everyone. It was all in the speech. I was a horrendous leader. I mean, who went first last week?

I always lose track. I think you did. There's no pattern to it, but whatever. I'll go first. Okay. I'm ready if you are, Bradley. Get on mic there. There he is.

Off you go, sir. Is it just me or? Could you not care less what people think of your feet? No, I'm very self-conscious about my feet. What for? They're feet, Mitchell. That's why I don't own Havianas, because they just put them on full display. I can barely wear slides, yep.

Really? Yeah. I have severe ingrown toenails. Actually. What, just constantly? Past tense. I had reoccurring IGT. So I had to go to a podiatrist or a pediatrician.

What's the one that does kids? That's a pediatrician. Okay, so I went to a podiatrist and they were so bad that he had to saw off 20% of my nail. So I don't have nail cornices. My big toes are just like a plank of wood. What, still? Yeah. Well, anyway, you might be an exception to the rule.

You keep your feet to yourself. Okay. What I was going to say is that I don't really care what people's feet look like because their feet, they're not exactly meant to be pretty. It's come about after, you guys would have seen that, the Delta Goodrum incident on The Voice last week. Oh, did I see it?

I could fucking smell it through the TV. How unflattering is this Daily Mail headline, Reddy? The Voice coach, Delta Goodman Lee's viewers, disgusted as she flaunts her filthy feet during the blind audition. So she's kicked back on the red chair, popped her feet up and clearly she's been walking around barefoot in the studio, which aren't

exactly glamorous behind the scenes. They're like big warehouses. And so she's popped them up and they don't look especially grubby. They just look like how normal feet would look if you've been walking around barefoot all day. Yeah, they're a bit brown around the heel and the sort of pat. Yeah. Granted, she is on television.

She is very close to Kelly Rowland, ex-Destiny's child. I mean, scrub your fucking nibs, you think. They film for hours at a time on The Voice. Like, there's a reason that those coaches have been wearing the same outfits for weeks. Because they film them all in one go. She would have been on those damn feet for hours. Also, she would be mortified, I think, looking back and watching. Dirty feet gross me out.

Oh, you're not a dirty feet person. I don't care if your feet are deformed, right? I don't care. As long as they're clean, that's fine. Put that on a T-shirt, Jenny. Look at you. You're a vision for hope. I don't care if long as they're clean that's fine i'll put that on a t-shirt jenna look at you you're a vision for hope i don't care if your toes are curled you're so open-minded as a person with cat nails you know i'm actually very true you're the spokesperson for all nail deformities i guess no look it's not that i'm saying that i don't think dirty feet are gross

i'm just saying that it's not out of the ordinary for them to get gross like if you've been on them all day it's normal to look a bit gross i'm just saying it's not out of the ordinary for them to get gross. Like, if you've been on them all day, it's normal to look a bit gross. I'm just saying it's not something worth getting self-conscious about. Someone in my life who, in fact, is quite proud of their feet is my housemate Jordan. Oh, I love Jordan. So I walked in the lounge room the other day and he was taking photos of them.

I was like, what are you doing? Apparently, he sells them. No! Oh, Jordan. Wait, who, what are you doing? Apparently, he sells them. No! Oh, Jordan. Who's he selling them to? Well, I figured that you'd have questions, so I'm going to get him on the phone now to tell all. It's fascinating. I had no idea

this was going on until I walked in and witnessed it. I wonder how much the going rate is for one foot. Do you pay per toe, too? Well, you can ask Jordan. I'll ask Jordan. Let's ring him. God, you really can't multitask, can you? You stopped dialing his number to talk. I'm like, fuck, we could have had him on ages ago. True. Dialing Jordan to the house, mate.

Yeah. He's a very sexually active man. God, he is. He is. Always rooting. Not really. I get that impression. You can't just get an impression and then tell everyone as though it's the truth.

Sorry. Sorry, Jordan. Hello? Hi, darling. It's us. Sorry. Sorry, John. Hello? Hi, darling. It's us. How are you? Hi. I'm all right.

Including the other Mitch and Jenna. Sorry. Hi. Hi, Mitch and Jenna. Hi, JJ. How are you? JJ. It's a real gangbang here, isn't it?

I bet you're used to that kind of thing. I'm actually driving past the house that I last had a gangbang in right now. Oh, beautiful memories. That's beautiful. Ultimo. Ultimo, wonderful. Isn't it funny? We all remember the first house we had a gangbang in.

Oh, I didn't say first. I said last. Oh, you did, actually. You did. Anyway, Mitch, why don't you bring it up? Yeah, we were just talking about when I walked in and you taking photos of your feet the other day because, you know, foot fetishism is a definite thing. In fact, Jenna, would you mind, can you Google foot fetishes?

I don't really know much about it, but all I know is that Jordan is starting to make money off it. Yeah, and Jordan, I just want to know, I've actually got a lot of questions, let's just start. What the hell? Who do you sell these feet pics to? It's not, this one guy approached me on Twitter once about it, and I was a little bit sceptic on it,

but he seemed legit. He's into a thing called Fyndham. What's that? Wait, what is it? Fyndham, which is financial domination. Oh, okay. How does that work? So it's like, well, whenever he gets drunk, and he lives in the UK, so it's perfect, because

I woke up and he was high or drunk or whatever he was. I woke up and it was eight hours before, nine hours before, so I was like, cool, make some money this morning. Your feet were well rested. Yeah. So whenever he gets drunk or whatever, he hits me up and he's like, hey, I'm drunk. And the intent is that I actually... Well, no, he doesn't ask.

I have to literally dominate him with words and be like, I will send you a picture of my feet as a reward for sending me $150. Oh! Send me his fucking number! I didn't know that you were offering. It's not that I'm exactly offering, but I know it's his kink. Yeah.

But it gets even weirder in the sense that he likes it to be used in a way of blackmail. Oh, God. Because it's domination, and it's a submissive thing, whereas he's a submissive one. It'll be like he might send me a picture of his face or whatever and he gets off on me charging him X amount of money

to not release these photos to the public. Jesus Christ. He might send me a picture of his naked body. And there's been a time where I actually said to him, I'm going to send these to the public. Jesus Christ. He might send me a picture of his naked body. And there's been a time where I actually said to him, I'm going to send these to your mum if you don't send me a hundred bucks. And did he send you the money? Of course he sent me the money. Oh my God.

And he gets off on this. He gets off on that. But then in terms of the foot pics, it was kind of like a reward for him sending me $150 just because I asked. Wait, so you set the price? I actually, because I know, as I said, he gets off on the domination. I originally said $50, but when I sent the PayPal request to him, it said $150. And so he had, and his thing is he's got no choice because he's dominated, so he paid. Wow, how the hell did you learn to navigate people whose mind work like

that that is so weird that you knew exactly how to play him oh did he did he have to sort of like set it up like when you go to a real estate or when you go to an open house like these are the ground rules everyone go like did you have to sort of did he have to tell you at the start that this is what he liked um it's sort of we worked it out slowly but yeah like the the only ground rule is that like obviously i can't ask for a car or something right it's got to be it's got to be a reasonable amount he did admit to me how much money he earned which is how much a lot of money um it's in british pounds but it's like 100,000 British pounds a year. Okay. I don't know what that means for us.

It's about 230,000, I think, a year, Australian. Oh, okay. So he can afford to just be transferring people money for their foot pits. He can afford to be paying for feet. Now, how do you take the photos of feet? So do you have a shower? Because obviously Delta Goodrum had the dirty, grubby little fucking feet, and they're disgusting. He might want Goodrum had the dirty, grubby little fucking feet. And they're disgusting.

He might want more for a dirty foot, right? I asked him this, actually. And it's not to do with how clean the foot is or what the foot essentially looks like. It's what the foot represents. Because he is a submissive person. Yeah. The foot is like the, you would say realistically realistically, the dirtiest part of a person. That's all he believes he deserves. And that's what he gets up on.

It's like he likes being walked all over. Literally, walked all over. And it's also because the dominating person, i.e. me, in this sense, that's my foot that he is submitting to. See, part of me feels bad for the bastard i'm like oh all he thinks he deserves is a foot pick but also like if he knows what he likes and he's going about it and he's consensual and he's going about his way to get it then whatever carry on mate do what you gotta do you get self-conscious about your foot picks like do you chuck on a toe ring every now and again we're gonna shake it up for him you might want some glam oh no i literally

took one i think it was yesterday. I was just sitting on the couch and then he hit me up and then, you know, $150. And I was just like, yeah, fuck, I took my shoe off, took my sock off and just banged out a photo and sent it straight away. You should get one of those vintage like foam stoppers that go in between the toes so you can paint your toenails with. Be like, hi, this is it. Just these four spread toenail toes.

Or you should like open a door handle or something with your foot just to, like, really freak him out. Start doing things with it. Oh, my God, that'd actually be great. I'm 100% certain if I did own one of those Toast Upper things, he'd probably pay me $1,000 to send it to him in the UK or something. You're a smart man. We pay around the same amount in rent here.

I am going to work every morning like a fuckwit. You're just at home taking pictures of your feet and all this nonsense for OnlyFans, all that shit. Yeah. I have not worked in three, four months now, I don't think. March. Oh my god. But that's because of coronavirus, not because his body was keeping him afloat with sending

selling photos. I thought he was staying afloat by sending his fucking little digits. Well he is, because that's the plan B, you know, instead of Uber driving as a backup. Jordan, I'm a size 13 and I've got quite a wide gait. Would I get good cash for my foot? Do you think, can I send pics to you and maybe you send them around and see what the vibe is from these feet people?

Should we do like a rateyourfoot.com sort of thing? Oh, yeah, we could do only feet. Like just get that site up and running. That could be good. So, Jenna, I've seen you over there furiously Googling about foot fetishes. And what have you learnt? I've learnt about foot kissing, toe sucking, foot jobs and foot worship. That's great.

What can you tell us about it? It's just a bit strange to me. I've really got to do everything myself, don't I? I also found... One in such and such amount of people have a foot fetish. Well, I doubt these statistics even exist. People aren't out and proud about their love of feet. I think...

Well, actually... People aren't that ashamed of it. How interesting is this, right? One psychological element of a foot fetish is humiliation. Feet are often considered below people that's exactly that's exactly it right wow so five percent of heterosexual women have foot fetishes 18 percent of heterosexual men 11 percent of lesbian and bisexual women and 21 percent of gay and bisexual men so us gays it's most common among us to be a fan of the foot.

You know what? I've once seen a foot in a sock and I've thought, that gets me going a little bit. What? Really? No, no, no. Not like on a side or something. It's just someone wearing a sock on my...

I can see it. I can see it. I can't. I mean, I'm not shaming anyone who's into it. I mean, whatever gets you going, it's up to you. Yeah, couldn't agree more. Jordan, very quickly for the people listening, what's Mitch like to live with?

I've just always wanted to know because he's such a fucking pain to do a podcast with. Can't imagine what it's like when he's having a bloody nighttime bath. He is a perfect flatmate, thank you very much. There you go. Did you just call him a fatmate? He's not large, Jordan, and that's disrespectful. And he's brought the lovely Isabella into the house. Oh, there you go.

Who's Isabella? My cat. Oh, the cat, of course. Oh, are you like the godfather? Because you looked after the little cat when you guys were... He technically spends more time with her than I do, because he's at home during the day taking photos of his fucking feet. Jordan, what's the worst thing about living with Mitch?

The worst thing? Yeah. I can't think of a worst thing. Oh, fuck yeah. He is the best flatmate that I've ever had. I'll give him that. Really? Yeah, fine. There we I'll give him that. Really? I find him...

There we go. Mind the pun. Anal? What? If anyone should know that word, it's you, Jordan. Anal. Don't you find him a bit sort of like OCD? Jordan is a little bit like that too, so it kind of works.

Oh, you're a match made in heaven. I would say the same, though, because we never really have to nag each other to do things. We just kind of coexist and it's all good. Sorry, you were trying to get some tea, weren't you? Did you ever get any arguments? No. I've said this to Jordan, so it's not weird that I'm bringing it up now.

The only thing that's ever bothered me is that you know those bloody things that you put in the sink that catches all the potato peels and shit, doesn't let it go down the sink? Oh, yeah, yeah, strainer thing. He takes them out and then wonders why our sink's full of shit.

And I'm like, leave the strainer in, you fuck. And he goes, oh, it just makes the water drain too slowly. And I'm like, because it's full of shit from all the times you've taken the strainer out. That's the only thing that's ever bothered me. I'm like, what are you doing? All right, we love you, Jordan. Thank you for coming on the show.

Mitch, we'll see you tonight. Bye, guys. See you. Bye. See you. Jesus. That was eye-opening. We're really in the wrong business. Bye guys. Bye. Jesus. That was eye-opening. We're really in the wrong business.

There's a website called footfetishmatch.com Meet people who love feet in Sydney. Oh, there you go. I'll hit them up. It's almost like even if they were leaked and someone said, are these your feet? I could just be like, nah. Like, how are we going to prove them wrong? Yeah, very true. Or you go to a job interview in 20 years and they go, we found

these online. What do you have to say for yourself? You you just go they're not mine because i've got a sixth time do you find that in school they always used to be like what if this comes up in a job interview oh all the time come back to buy me in a job interview not because i hid things well but just i don't think that actually happens or terrifying shit happens in job interviews yeah and also i had a year advisor who was a careers someone, a careers advisor. And we had to do a mock interview. And she was like, hi, Mitchell, interesting choice of clothing today.

And I was like, oh, my God, yeah. She's like, what's your favorite color, Mitchell? None of these questions have ever been asked to me in a job interview. Well, you know, a policeman came to my school and did this huge presentation where he individually researched each of us and found all this information about us. Really? And he's like, it's not looking good. It says where you've been to school and all that.

I'm like, well, yeah, obviously it does. Jesus Christ. All right, well, my age actually has to do with school. Should we jump in? Oh, how beautiful. What a nice flow. It's almost like we timed it. All right, here we go.

Should we jump in? Oh, how beautiful. What a nice flow. It's almost like we timed it. All right, here we go. Is it just me or? Do you think abolishing the ETA is the smartest thing that this certain university has ever done? Oh, I didn't know that that happened.

It's been abolished. I thought you meant that they were abolished altogether. Like they just don't do them anymore. I was like, shit, yeah, but there's just one. Oh, God, no. It's just one university, Swinburne University in Melbourne. If you're, like, from overseas or you are from a different state, the ATAR, what does it stand for, Mitch? You know.

It's... Fuck, it's been a while. Is it the Australian Tertiary Admissions Ranking? Yeah, I think so. I have actually... So it's, like, basically your final score after you finish year 12. Yeah, yeah. So it's, like, in America you do the SATs, I think so. So it's like basically your final score after you finish year 12. Yeah. So it's like in America you do the SATs I think. This is to

get into university or to do a bachelor's degree. They all have different types of ATARs as entry points. And I think it's brilliant because I personally got the world's worst ATAR. What do you think? I want to know what you genuinely think. Because the higher the better, just so everyone knows.

75. Okay. You bitch. I know that the absolute lowest you can get, like they stop counting when it's 30 or less. They will say 30 or less. Oh, no, no, no. I didn't get an asterisk. I applied myself, but I didn't put any effort in.

And I did drama. Got a band six in drama. That's always confusing me that certain subjects bring your score down, even if you're good at it. And your school as well, your school ranking and people in your class. You would have gone to some revolting school in the Shire and you did drama. Oh, I'm thinking 54. Oh, okay.

Mitch is closer. Am I? I got. It's very funny. 69. That's pretty funny. I'm only laughing because you find that funny i am so happy that i got 69 because i'm like this is fucking great but i got 10 bonus points because

i was school captain so i got five is that a thing have i mentioned that yet goodness it is i know that they got bonus atar points oh yeah and i got five extra bonus points for representing the country in theater i toured around london when i was like in in Year 10. So if you represent Australia in extracurricular activity, I think it was written for sport, but here I am doing Othello in Hong Kong and I get an extra five points. I got extra five points because I claimed, well, I said that I was mentally ill. You weren't lying on me. What do you mean said?

I got my psychologist to write a note and they're like, oh, I feel sorry. Genius. So what was your rate? 95. Why did was your ATAR? 95. Why did you need extra points? Well, I didn't because I thought I'd do terribly. What did you get, Mitch? Well, I didn't end up doing it. You know how you can opt out and become non-matriculating?

What a gross word. What's non-matriculating? It's where you're allowed to do more like TVET and practical-based subjects and then opt out of getting an ATAR. Because if you're getting an ATAR, you're only allowed to do a certain amount of TVET. So like you can do maybe woodwork and then the rest has to be all theory-based stuff like science and legal studies and shit. But my subjects were all like practical stuff.

Like I did work studies, business services. Yeah. Hospitality. Hospitality. There was a few. You know what? So mine was very hands-on, so there was no way I was getting an ATAR. I sometimes think that the TAFE courses that are available are so much better than all

the other options. My sister wanted to do childcare and boom, went, did a TVET course, got a diploma, loved it, got hands-on experience. And because she did work experience at a daycare clinic, she got a full-time job out of high school and now she's making 75K a year. She's 20. There you go. It's funny that you mention Swinburne in Melbourne being the one

that stopped judging people based on their ATAR because when I decided to be non-matriculating, I just had to accept the fact, no, I'm never going to uni because that was always what the careers advisor said. If you don't have an ATAR, you're not going to uni. So I enrolled in a TAFE course, right? Yeah. And I was so ready to do this TAFE course in Sydney, I had it sorted.

And then on a whim, I applied for uni at Swinburne in Melbourne doing screen and media journalism or something. And I got in. I was like, you're kidding. So clearly Swinburne have always had, you know, a reputation for judging people on their merit rather than the marks. Because I literally didn't have one to go off. I can't remember what I applied with. Maybe a resume, a letter or something. But I got in and I was like, shit.

By this point I'd already started making plans in Sydney. I'd agreed to live with one of my friends in school. So I just said no to them in the end. But I could not believe that I managed to get in without an ATAR. I think that's just more to my point. I didn't use my ATAR. I did get early entry. My 10 points bumped me up to 79. They rounded it up to 80. And then I got early entry. It's like my first day of year 12. The University of Wollongong, I don't think they get a lot of people.

What were you studying? Well, they go, we offer early entry. And I'm like, great. I emailed. They emailed back great i emailed they emailed back congratulations you've won i'm like what don't even tell you who i am like congratulations michael well um so i got in i studied a double degree media communications majoring in journalism oh that's what i was looking at plus i did a bachelor's degree in theater performance okay at the University of Wollongong. Woeful. I was expecting glee. You didn't finish, did you?

And I got fucking pee. No, I dropped out after a trimester. Okay. So what's that? Half a year? Yeah. No, a third. A third, yeah.

You're like four months. I did it. I dropped performance first because it was absolutely terrible. You know, I dropped because we had to come to school and we were doing a movement class and we all had to go out into the wild because University of Wollongong is like in fucking Narnia. It's nowhere down the south coast of Sydney. And they're like, go and find something, emulate it,

and the next day you are going to be that. You are going to replicate the movements of that thing for a full 10 minutes on stage. And after that we'll charge you $35,000 for this unit. Literally. And I saw an em'll charge you $35,000 for this unit. Literally. And I saw an emu because we're down the fucking rainforest. And I walk in and no joke, without a word of a lie, I stand up on this dingy stage in Wollongong,

fucking humidity through the roof. And I'm standing there. My arms buckle like this. My chest is out. My legs are bent. And I was literally for 10 minutes going like this. And people were laughing. It wasn't really meant to be funny.

What, in public? Oh, yeah. Were your teachers there marking you? Yes. This was an assessment. What? It's the weirdest thing. And it was full of students.

Anyway, everyone applauded at the end. She went, all right, Jenna, you passed. Mitchell, you passed. Mitch, jury, I think you're a prime example of someone who thinks they're going to fly through this course. That's why I want you to do prime example of someone who thinks they're going to fly through this course. That's why I want you to do this again tomorrow and actually put effort in. And I was like gutted. I'm like, what?

I analysed this emu. So I dropped out that day. Really? I deferred. Then I still had the fucking media communications degree to do. To be honest, she sounds like she had a point. You were like, I'll just be an emu. It'll be right.

I can wing it. And she was like this clown. I I'll just be an emu. It'll be right. I can wing it. And she was like this clown. I love that you saw an emu. Someone else was a fucking fish. And they're like, high distinction. And she was flopping around on the ground. They're going to emulate being out of water. There's some sort of narrative there.

They've been taken out of their usual environment. You were just pecking and scuttling around. An emotional connection between. And elongating your large neck it was i was a lot skinnier at the time oh really they fit the bill anyway and i dropped out of media communications my only point is you don't need um to go to uni to get where you want i if you know you want to do something in high school trust me it doesn't go away three years later just by doing something that your parents tell you you should do or your careers advisor says

you should do doesn't necessarily mean you should do it. All I wanted to do was study theatre. And then three years later, I applied for a scholarship in New York and got it. And I'm like, I should have done this straight out of high school. Exactly. So follow your gut. I mean, Jenna wanted to do archery. And Jenna, you still should.

I really wanted to. You really should do it, Jenna. Here we are banging on about anti-uni. I bet Jenna spent like nine years at uni and has like an honours and all that shit. I bet she absolutely thrived in that environment. You did, didn't you? I don't have honours, but I do have a bachelor's degree. In what?

In Bachelor of Media. There you go. In PR and advertising, even though I don't do that. Oh, but you're a Dean's Honour list. Yeah, I am actually. I bet you're fucked in to get that. At what university are you on the Dean's Honour list. Yeah, I am actually. I bet you're fucked Dean to get that. At what university are you on the Dean's Honours list? At UNSW and I came first in the course.

Can we call? Can we call them to find out? Do you not believe her? I can. I'll find something to prove that I am. Don't prove, Jenna. This is boring enough. Well done. Round of applause for Jenna.

Dean's Honours list. I just love that your radio mind just kicks in at the most random points. Should we call them? No, we don't need to. We wouldn't be getting any extra information. She already told us. What would they say? Yes.

Are you saying that we should just prank call the uni? Just for no reason. It's very radio. Do you know what? We're doing three calls next for Is It Just You. I called Jordan for my Is It Just Me. We may as well make a phone call in the middle of your idjim just to make it

consistent. Call her uni. The phone call special. Can you call your uni to say, remember me? Oh yeah, what's the number? I'm not saying anything. Oh, come on. Would you do an impression of her, Mitch, and say, remember me? Okay, okay.

Check the Dean's Honours List from 1946. I'll be on there. UNSW? Yep. And it's from 2015. Here we go. Say hi. No, it's all you, Mitch.

Hi. No, I wanted to get... Say it. Hi. Hi. Welcome to UNSW Sydney. all you, Mitch. Hi. No, I wanted to get... Say it. Hi. Hi. Welcome to UNSW Sydney. Thank you for calling. At present, we are unable to attend to your call,

but it is important to us. Please hold the line and you'll be answered as soon as possible. Welcome to UNSW. May I help you? Hi. My name's Jenna Benson. I was Dean's Honour List in 1934 and I was just calling to see if that was still on record. Okay, I'll have to put you onto record, so just a moment please. Thank you.

You're supposed to say, it's me, remember me? It's me, Jenna. Fuck. Of course they've got a records department. Oh, my God. I just have to transfer you to the records castle. Oh! They just let the call disconnect.

Fuck that. I knew who was calling. I've just sent you both proof. Oh, where are you? Oh, my God. The top one. Oh, yes. Congratulations, Jenna. We God. The top one. Oh, yes. Congratulations, Jenna.

We should never have doubted you. Thank you. I mean, I should never have doubted you. No one else had a seed of doubt, but it was me all along. And now they won't even take your calls after everything you've done for them. What a fall from grace. You're listening to Is It Just Me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches.

Yes, you can leave us a review if you like. Five stars, please. And write something nice if anything springs to mind. If nothing does, that's all right. I have noticed that we have, that the one stars are growing. This applies to Apple Music, Apple Podcasts only, of course, but it doesn't really bother me when someone leaves one star because, like, sure, you didn't like it, no worries.

I'm actually more bothered by the three and four stars. Yeah. Like, just love it or hate it, you fuck. Like, either make it a full or a nothing. Oh, I just went and looked. We have a new one. Oh, read it out. If you love Not My Cup of Tea, you will love this podcast.

You promised you deleted that gun sound effect. That wasn't me. There was a shooting right next door. It's nice that we are getting to know Jenna more. Mitchell Coombs is as awesome as ever, and Mitch Turi, it is nice to get to know him outside of his radio gig. There you go. Oh, fantastic.

That's from Tickles94. Lovely. Jenna's fantastic, Mitch is great, and the fat one's all right too. Oh, I just found another one. Oh, Jesus. Oh, it's had a bunch of new ones. Oh, really? Writing this with the hope of my name being read out on the podcast,

then proceeding to have crippling anxiety as if I am actually on the podcast and suddenly famous despite no one actually knowing who is writing this. Well, that's a lie. That comes from the very famous and well-known Ali7482857 slash, oh, there's a lot of numbers there. Oh, I love them on Neighbours. Oh, I love her. They're brilliant.

In all seriousness, Ali writes, love the podcast. Definitely worth a listen if you want the feeling of casually chatting with a bunch of mates. I'm sure she meant me. Keep up the good work, legends. Thank you, Ali. We will do. I love that she thinks we're all mates when in reality we don't talk as soon as the recording's done. Yeah, like we come together for an hour a week and outside of that we can't stand each other.

No, we can't. Oh, thank you, Ali. Speaking of friends coming together, guys, we're getting some guests now. Yes, it's time for Is It Just You, isn't it? Enough out of us. So we do one at the start of every show. I'm sure you know if you've gotten this far. And we want to know what other people are thinking.

We want to know what our listeners have noticed, hate, or appreciate. So I put a call out. We spam them with our thoughts every week, so it's time they give back. Let's make the first call. I've got a couple today. It's like a little amuse-bouche. We're going to do an entree, main, then dessert. We're going to ring Tilly, who sent us a DM on Insta.

Do you want to dial her out? I haven't read any of these DMs, so I'm actually going to be hearing it for the first time, much like I hear yours for the first time every week after Bradley introduces it. Oh, she's got a good number. You know when a number's got like a reoccurring four and a two? No. Like it's like 42424204. Don't read that number.

I made it up. Hello? Tilly? Hi, how are you? Oh, we're good. This is the police. You're under arrest. Oh, my God.

She's like, shit, you got me. Yeah, I'm in the car. You're on the cloud live. Is it just me? Mitch is here. Jen is here. Hi, Tilly. How's like, shit, you got me. I'm in the car. You're on the cloud live. Is it just me? Mitch is here. Jen is here. Hi, Tilly. How are you?

How are we? Oh, we're so good. Hi, Tilly. Tilly, I told you in preparation not to speak to her. Shut up. She's my favourite. I'm sorry. Anyway, Tilly, we're going to play.

Sorry. Tilly, we're going to let Bradley. He's had to stay late. Normally he leaves at the start of the show. Oh, my God. But he stayed back just to give you an official introduction. Are you ready to go? I'm ready.

Can't wait. All right. Here we go. Is it just me or? Do you always imagine how you're going to die and how your family and friends are going to react to your death oh absolutely all the time i've done plenty of times is it sad that i always assume it's going to be at a young age oh yeah it's always me now dying i never picture myself dying in 30 years from a cardiac arrest how boring yeah you want to be you want to be a sexy like ghost

like you don't want to be old yeah and you want it to be like a sexy death too, like a car accident or a poisoning. So what's your death then, Tilly? What are you imagining? I don't know. I always think I'm too clumsy, so I'll probably just fall down the stairs or something. Just accidentally walking out of a bus or some shit.

I want the eulogy to be very sort of shocking. She lived a beautiful life, a long life, surrounded by many friends until she stepped on the Hume Highway and was killed by a toll truck. Like, you want it to be, oh, God, that's such a story. Yeah, yeah. But I'd like to attend my funeral. Like, I want to be there.

Like, I want to party with them all. Do you want to know you're dying? Because I have an auntie who's like, well, you know what? If I get cancer, we're having a party the day I get diagnosed because I want to be there. I want to celebrate. I don't want a sad funeral. Yeah, yeah. Just have a massive piss up. I don't think people would

go out of their way to come to your fake funeral when you're still alive. People only come to the funeral, in many cases, out of guilt because they're like, fuck, I haven't seen them for years. I feel so bad. I've got to go pay my respects. It's many cases out of guilt Because they're like Fuck I haven't seen them for years I feel so bad I've got to go pay my respects

It's awkward to pay your respects When they're still alive Yeah Yeah true Also it's a very kiddie thing I remember I used to be in the car Right and then a song would come on Sorry I didn't

I thought that What? Sorry I was trying to play the song But it has a It has a built in thing at the start Well we're here now I want to know what the song is Okay It's Coldplay Cause you're a sky Yeah they were all yellow I was trying to play the song, but it has a built-in thing at the start. Well, we're here now. I want to know what the song is. Okay.

It's Coldplay. It's your sky. Yeah, they were all yellow. Everybody okay? 96 FM. The best thing about performing live is when people sing along. And you sound incredible. Audiences are insanely brilliant.

What are you playing? What is this song? What was that? In the system, we have one version of Yellow, and it's that fucking integrated 96 FM for Robin Bailey shit. A Perth radio show. Why do Perth put documentaries at the start of their songs? Sorry, this is just radio talk.

Anyway, I don't know why that happened, but why would you play Yellow if you're going to play anything at a funeral by Coldplay? It's Fix You. Yeah, true. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay, so here I am, ready. I'm probably 13.

I've just had a massive fight with my dad. I'm in the backseat of the car. I was like, I hate you! Here we go. Here we go. I hate you. And I start to daydream, ready? All my family rocking up to probably some sort of crematorium.

They're all in suits. And they regret being rude to me in the car because I wanted a third sausage and egg McMuffin. Dad would only let me get two. Even though the doctor already said I had a fatty liver and I couldn't have any more fatty foods. And there's Nana, which is so sad that I died before the grandma. And there's Nicholas Kiriakos, my primary school best friend.

He was so mean to me at school. And he regrets it now. Nico. Anyway, that's what I would do. No. I mean, for me, it's more fleeting thoughts, but I have done enough therapy to not dwell on the thought of my own death that much. Yeah.

So it's something I'd really have tried not to think about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So these days I don't. Yeah, that's a good point. Oh, no, mine are fully fleshed out. It's like an episode of Big Bang Theory. I've got out some commercial breaks and sponsorships. My funeral's sponsored by Kellogg's.

That's great. Anyway, we're getting very dark here. Yeah, this is very dark. Thanks for bringing it down, Tilly. Jesus Christ. Oh, God. Get rid of the gun, I swear to God. I'm not playing a sound effect.

We just live in a sketchy suburb. Don't make shooting... Sorry. Anyway, Tilly, thank you for coming on the show. Yay! Tilly, can I ask, do you often stick around to the very end of our show? Oh, of course, every time. Okay, so you're familiar with all the sound effects that Chiri goes absurd with.

While we've got listeners on the line, I'm going to do a quick poll, best of three. Do you think he should get rid of the gun sound effect? Do you think of all the sound effects, that one's just not funny? Yeah, it's probably a bit much. One in favour of getting rid of the gun. Well, Tilly, I'll have to ask you. Say nothing if you think Mitch Coombs is entertaining. Good girl, Tilly.

Good girl. All right. Thanks for coming on the show. Thanks, Tilly. I hope you live a long and prosperous life, and I'll send a red rooster voucher your way as a thanks for coming on. I've never been to a red rooster. Oh, babe, strap yourself in for a feast.

It's heaven. You're going to love it. Fantastic. Half rooster roll. That's what I reckon. Oh, crap. All right. Oh, babe, strap yourself in for a feast. It's heaven. You're going to love it. Fantastic. Half Rooster Roll, that's what I reckon. Alright, bye, Till! Bye, Tillie! See ya! Lovely girl, isn't she? I like her. Let's get the next one on. Let's go to Holly.

We got a bit dark there, didn't we? If we had a decent producer, Jenna, they would have had the next number dialed already, ready to go. I only learnt about this segment about an hour ago. All we have is freshly mown grass ever since we made our fucking point. Hi, you've reached Holly. Unfortunately, I cannot get to the phone right now. She might be on Do Not Disturb.

You know how it cuts off after the first ring? It's a second dial. Yeah. Hi, you've reached Holly. Well, that was even less than one dial. Let's do the next one. Actually, Jenna, I am going to have to hand you the phone because this is anonymous.

This was sent to me by a certain listener of the show, loves the show, often comments on our videos, so if you really want to work out who it is, you probably could, but they said, please use my story, but do not name me. Oh, sorry, I didn't realise that this was being read out and not a phone call. No, no, no. Oh, well, I just made an absolute cock of myself saying, oh, we've got three calls on the line.

I'll do a poll best of three. Why didn't you tell me? Now it's going to have to be 50-50. We've already got one against my side. So there's Jenna. I'm going to give you the sound effect and then you just read the Is It Just Me? So this is an anonymous idjim.

Anonymous idjim. Oh, I can't even ask questions anyway. You can't. Ready, Jenna? I'm ready. Here we go. Is it just me or... Is having the option to share an iCloud account with your parents the worst idea ever?

Oh. That sounds messy. It depends what's gone wrong. Here's the story. Oh. My mum's not tech savvy and I can fix all her fuck ups from two hours away. The other week I went looking for a certain photo on my stream

and accidentally hit play on a video. It was my mother self-pleasuring herself. Most disturbing three seconds of my life and I don't know how to recover. Took me a week before I could call her and yell at her because my kids also use my Apple ID as well.

Oh, no. Wow. Go, Mum. Why was she filming herself having a diddle? That's wild. Also, this listener is of a certain vintage. You know, she's not in her 20s. Oh.

So her mum, I'm assuming, you know, maybe this listener could be. This listener mentioned having kids herself, so she's clearly not like 12. Correct. She has her own kids. So, you know, her mum would be at least past 60. Good on her, I say. I agree too.

I want to know who she's sending it to. Have you ever had those experiences though? Has anyone here, I haven't because it would be my worst nightmare, ever walked in on your parents doing anything? My mum is adamant that as a child I walked in on them once. Really? But I have, as you say, a strikingly good memory. I do not recall it.

Surely, maybe I buried it really deep in my memory and I've chosen to forget, but I have no recollection. She is still humiliated by it. She goes, oh, that one time Mitch walked in on Dad and I. What was it? They must have been doing something really naughty. I don't know. I couldn't tell you.

Jesus. But that is an oddly specific idiom. So I would say, yeah, it's just you, Anonymous. Yeah, I'd say that it's just you too. Sorry, we can't say the name, can we? No. Anything else in there that we missed? Are you all right?

You were just like, oh, you miss. You sounded so drunk in that sentence. Anything else in there that we missed? Can you sign in? Oh, pass me my phone, Jenna. Jesus Christ. I'm reading out my Apple ID. Okay, so we've got one phone call to go.

One phone call to go. And it's up to them whether you delete the gun or not. I'm not deleting anything. Hello? Oh, there she is. Hello? Nice of you to pick up, Holly. What have you been up to?

Not much, just getting home from school. Oh, fair enough. What year are you in? I'm in year 12 with Tasmania. Oh, fair enough. What year are you in? I'm in year 12 in Tasmania. Oh, my God. Well, if you want to study in Swinburne at Melbourne, they aren't doing ATARs this year. We were just talking about that.

Are you anticipating a good ATAR? Not that good, but, you know. What course do you want to do? I want to go to RMIT and do, like, fashion enterprise. Oh, brilliant. In Melbourne? Yeah, in Melbourne. Yeah, the technology uni in Melbourne.

There you go, another hands-on college. I very much like that in Melbourne. No amount of studying can teach you how to do a good ham, okay, Holly? That's my advice. All right, Bradley is on the mic, ready to go. Then he can go home. He's very tired. His daughter's got sore back, so he needs to get to work.

You ready to go? Yep. All right, ready to go. Then he can go home. He's very tired. His daughter's got sore back, so he needs to get to work. You ready to go? Yep. All right, here we go. Is it just me or...? A teaspoon so much more superior than tablespoons. Oh! Oh, ending on the hard-hitting stuff. Oh, God.

I think I agree. I think I completely agree with you, Holly. Yeah. Absolute nonsense. There's no way that teaspoons is a period of tablespoons. Tell us why, Holly. Because it's just such a better size to eat with, especially like ice cream.

Any yogurt, any soft really. Yeah, it's nice to like lick. And it takes longer to eat as well. That's exactly what's going to be my point. If you have a slice of cake with a teaspoon, it takes you so much longer to get through it. You don't shovel it down. Yeah, you can savour the taste.

Now defend yourself, tablespoon guy. Well, one argument is that I'm a very time poor honey and when I crack open a tiny little fancy feast for my Isabella in the morning I can just get that cat food out with one swift scoop of a tablespoon and so I can't be pissing around with multiple scoops I'm very busy the other argument is that I have this weird thing where if it's something sweet that I like not ice cream because I don't like cold things on my teeth like I want my mouth to be full. I love when

I do a massive spoonful of cake and I'm like, I can feel it filling up my mouth. I don't want to piss around with some fucking ant bites like, no, thanks. I know what you mean. Yeah, but it's an experience using a little spoon. You can almost do a little pantomime in your head

like, I'm Alice in Wonderland, I'm your little teaspoon. I love making a tea with a teaspoon. You can't put a little pantomime in your head. Like, I'm Alice in Wonderland. I'm your little teaspoon. I love making a tea with a teaspoon. You can't put a tablespoon in a tea glass. It just doesn't stir it properly. Holly, I'm so glad that you've got that off your chest, but I feel like you're not overly passionate about the topic. You said the idjim, and then there hasn't been much argument ever since. What is so much better about it?

It's just so nice. It fits so much better in your mouth. You know? You can get the whole thing in and out quite easily. Yeah. Especially, you should definitely try eating soup with a teaspoon. Oh, no. I feel like

little boy Oliver. Alright, Holly, I just wanted to ask you one thing before we let you go. If you listen to the end of our podcast, you might hear that Mitch has this one particular sound effect that he has vowed more than once to delete because he thinks it's inappropriate in the grand scheme of things.

He keeps whipping it out and proving that he hasn't deleted it, like he said. Can you just play it one last time? Yeah. The gunshot sound effect i've been doing a snap poll your vote decides whether it stays or goes what do you think do we delete the gun take your time and give justification i think it should stay because i don't think it's it can be anything it doesn't have to be if you put it in the context of a gunshot, maybe. But I think it should stay. And you never know when you need it.

Not always to represent a gunshot. What else could it represent? It could be a metaphor for love or hope. That's true. How, Jenna? That's actually true. It could be a metaphor for a combustion of love. It could be a metaphor for a burst of anger.

I might want to have a sound effect of someone dropping a, you know, a metal ball bearing. And I might not have it, but I might have this. And that kind of could be it, you know. It's malleable. Yeah, I agree. Thanks for coming on the show. Appreciate it.

Thank you. That's all right. Mitch is very upset. Oh, she hung up. She's gone. She's gone. She's gone. Am I drunk? I've had the weirdest conversations in this episode.

Really? We just went from arguing about spoons to finding metaphors that you could supplement the gunshot for. Well, I personally think it was one of the best shows we've ever done maybe you should be drunk more often i'm definitely not drunk really you'd know it i can see what he's fine jenny's taking photos of his feet goodness me you got a big toe on there i don't need to be drunk to do that that that's actually quite a wise financial decision it really is i can't believe i haven't thought of it. I know. Anyway. Good episode. Yeah. Very impressed.

Episode 33. Back next week. Second to last episode of season one. That's right. We're going to have a little break after episode 35 and then we'll be back for season two. And next week. Oh dear. What?

Are joining us on the show. It's a name of a podcast. Yeah, they're joining us. You idiot. Just thought I'd make it. There's another podcast in Sydney called Oh Dear. Morgan and Mary. Yep. We love them.

They are going to be joining us in the studio. We're going to do a little crossover. It's like how YouTubers used to do. Be like, oh, we'll do one episode or collab on our channel. Yeah. So our podcast. And then we're going to do an episode on their podcast. It's like when the wild thornberries

went to that island with the rugrats. No one knows exactly what's happening, but everyone loved it. So if you've never heard of Odea, you've got one week to make yourself familiar with them. They're an absolute hoot. Give them a search.

They're very fun. We love them. So the two of them will be on with us next week. It's going to be fun. And then one more episode until we're into season two. That's right. I need a lie down. Yeah, Mitch actually requested it.

He called us. He was like, we need a long break. I just said, oh, yeah, it's mid-year. Let's have a couple of weeks off and then we'll come back all refreshed, you know? We've been going since October, haven't we? I think it was. Yeah, either September or October. We've been on for seven months.

Yeah, we have. Jesus. Could have had a baby in this time. Almost. Jenna could have almost done another PhD in that time. All right, next week. Oh, dear. Iran with us.

And we will see you guys then. Anything else to say, guys? No, all good. All right. Love you guys. Bye. Thanks for listening. Anything else to say, guys? No, all good. All right. Love you guys. Bye. Thanks for listening. Bye.

Is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app. Or follow on Spotify. Welcome to AD Debrief. This is the bit on the end that we just get a bit loose, keep chatting away aimlessly. You're not supposed to judge the show as a whole based off this section. This is kind of just the messy bit at the end that we keep a secret.

We don't want people to know about it, really. Good to have your thoughts. What's this? You're airplane ambience, because the secret Facebook group someone said when you announced it every week, it sounds like you're an air hostess. Yeah. So I'm just making their fantasy come true.

What, like an air hostess after Valium? No. Because they're usually like, I don't know about you, but every air hostess I've ever had has been like horrifically peppy. Yeah. Always. Welcome to the 18th edition of our live show. It's going to be 40 degrees. We're going to be bringing you around a couple of bitches.

I've got a coffee and tea. It's just like, oh, babe, relax. Yeah, or a really sassy gay man. Yeah. I always get that. Hi, sorry, I can smell. I'm in business and having pizza. I wouldn't be able to get one of those.

He's like, no worries, darling. Anyway, welcome to 8AD Brief. No worries, darling. Anyway, welcome to AD Debrief. If you want to call us any time, you can give us a buzz on 886-904-209-66372. Oh, new number. 049-6043-962. I've connected the ADSL to this.

It's different. Couldn't get NBN in the area And There we go, we're on I'm only just upgrading to NBN Only? Yeah I got a call the other day And I was like

I feel like NBN was something that Julia Gillard introduced So I'm only just getting it NBN was a Gillard thing It was, wasn't it? I'm not imagining that No, it was a It was a Laborard thing. It was, wasn't it? I'm not imagining that. No, it was a Labor thing, and then Malcolm Turnbull made it all about him. I apparently, because my internet's fine as it is for everything, browsing, downloading,

but uploading? Nah. Really? She can't fucking manage that. And what do I do a lot of in my job? Uploading. I upload this podcast every week. I upload videos from home.

It's like that's the one thing that I really need internet for, but I just hotspot from my phone because I've got unlimited data there, so it's not really an issue. So when this guy's like, oh, I'm your saviour. I'm finally delivering you NBN. I was like, thanks, Chief. I'm really fine without it though. Did he have to come into your house?

No, this is a phone call. I said that like three times. Oh, when he said when this guy finally said, because you have to get it installed. Did he have to come into your house? No, this is a phone call. I said that like three times. Oh, well, you said when this guy finally said. Because you had to get it installed. I've got to come in. Yeah, that's happening when I'm not even home, which is weird. Oh, thank God. I was like, oh, is this a scam?

Oh, God. You know what I've started doing this week? I was telling Jenna off the cloud that I've switched to soy milk. What for? Well, Hayden drinks it because he has I ibs irritable bowel syndrome undiagnosed but that's what i think after my googling oh what no don't start actioning and making lifestyle changes based off of dr google he's been changing i haven't changed but him does he feel better he does feel better yeah he feels better after the soy milk so there is something in the lactose

anyway i was making a coffee for him and i'm like do you want a coffee he's like yeah but use the soy milk i'm like well then i don't want to froth two sets of milk. It's this whole thing because we've got the milk frother. So then there's this milk tub in the fridge and I was like, oh, is this the soy? And he's like, yeah, use that one. I'm like, it's been here for a while. He's like, yeah, but it's long life. And I was like, yeah, but it's open.

He's like, yeah, but it's long life. And I'm like, yeah, but once you open it, it's no longer a long life. Yeah, that's when its life begins. Yeah, exactly. And then it dies shortly thereafter. He's like, I'm telling you, long life means it just lasts. And I was like, no, it doesn't. Long life means.

No, it means that you can store it for ages. And then when you're like, oh, fuck, it's 7 a.m. and I've run out. Thank God I've got a long life. Yeah, but then once you open it and it hits the oxygen you can't drink it right after it expires. That's what I've always seen. Yes because it always says consume within 7 days of opening so I told him that and he's like you'll be

fine. I'm like oh alright so this was literally today so I poured it in the milk frother and started frothing it poured two coffees and then I'm like there's a little bit left. Gave him his coffee I'm like oh we're not going to drink it so I'll throw it out. So I rees. And then I'm like, there's a little bit left. Gave him his coffee. I'm like, oh, we're not going to drink it. So I'll throw it out. So I rinsed it. And I'm like, geez, it feels a bit heavy.

And I rinsed it with water, shook it around and poured the water out. So it didn't have milk in it. The bin full of curds. Full of them. That's so gross. That's putrid. He'd already taken a sip. I let him do it.

I didn't tell him. He was like, oh, so I help. I love it. He's like, this is lovely. He's like, what did you put in it? Little marshmallows? I'm like, yep. Chew them up. I tell you what. I poured mine out. I could do with

a long life in the cupboard because the amount of times, I can't even tell you, the amount of times I have to drive to 7-Eleven, mind you, looking like absolute trash. Because I've just rolled out of bed and I'm like, I'm not not having a hot beverage before work so i'm going down to the 7-eleven at 4 a.m to get milk yeah you've done

that before plenty of times like it's probably once a fortnight can you not wait until you get to work because we have a barista here at kiss who makes coffees in the morning no but i just need that one initial one to wake me up, you know? Would you have black? No, I feel like I need the milk. It wouldn't be the same. I'd be, like, suffering. Yeah. It'd be like a supplementary drink.

I need, like, you know, my actual beverage. You need to taste what you need. Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I switch from tea to coffee, though. From coffee to tea first thing in the morning. Less anxious. I hadn't noticed that. Yeah, you drink a lot.

Why? Does it make you a bit jittery? Yeah, like when I... I always notice if I have a coffee before work in the fucking ten minutes that I sit out the front of Jenna's waiting for her to get ready because she's in the wrong time. Oh, excuse me. Jenna, how do you do that?

I used to sit there noticing that I was like, my heart was like palpitating weird because I was just sitting there in a car in total stillness and I'd be like, oh my God. And so now that I've switched to tea, I don't have that. Really? What, like skip a beat? I don't know what, I don't actually know what skipping a beat means, by the way. Isn't that a metaphor?

No, skipping a beat actually happens when it goes like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Like it does a weird rhythm. Oh, right. Yeah, mine's more of like a 5-4 jazz timing kind of beat. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. Oh, that's nice.

It's always out of whack. It's beautiful. It's like King Kong. Yeah, I switched to tea so I'm a little bit less anxious in the morning and then I get here and start guzzling coffee and just because I don't start first thing with a coffee, it seems to be fine. No matter how many I drink thereafter,

as long as I don't start the day with one, I'm fine. What do you want, a Mildura? Huh? You want a Mildura or are you a Tipton? What are you talking about? What type of tea? English breakfast. Like, I don't know.

It doesn't matter what brand. Dilma, Bushels, Twinies. Actually, I'm pretty sure the one I've got at the moment is Aldi. Really? It's the Aldi rip-off of Lipton. Oh, my God. Aldi, what is it called? Fucking Tipton?

I don't know. I think it's just called tea. Aldi love to rip off of Lipton. Oh my God. Aldi. What is it called? Fucking Tipton? I don't know. I think it's just called tea. Aldi love to rip off brands. Haven't we done this on the show? What Aldi would call brands that they'd like. Yeah. Like Coco Pops, they'd call them. I think we may have done it.

Yep. Chocolate rice bowls. Oh my God. Speaking of which, I saw this thing on TikTok the other day. It was like someone doing an impression of a bowl of rice bubbles. Oh my God. It was like someone doing an impression of a bowl of rice bubbles. Oh my God. It was so funny.

They just got really like, it's like, hold on, let me find it. That's very funny. You just like turn the mic all the way up and you just start whispering really quickly.

So like turn mine up all the way. This is what rice bubbles sounds like. Just say the alphabet really quickly. Okay, let me try. Let me try, okay. Go, Jenna, your turn. Okay.

I think you've got to be less whispery. It's more about the movement of the tongue. Oh, that's better, yeah. How fucking feral. I don't know why I'm so tired this week. Yeah, why? Maybe it's the switch to tea. Maybe you've just explained it. No, that happened last year.

That's not new. Oh, really? Yeah. This is why I need a week off. Not even a week. I don't even know how long we're having off between season one and season two, but I need some time to just go home and enjoy the afternoon sun with my cat and not worry about the podcast. Are you going back to Bogangate for the break?

Nah. Not at all? Probably not. I only just went. Yeah, but you only had like 24 hours. I was shocked at how quickly you were there. Yeah, fuck them. They can come to me.

They can't shoot pigs down here, so they've got nothing else. They don't shoot pigs. Really? No. Why would they shoot pigs? Pig shooting. I went to my auntie's in Armadale and all the boys were like, we're going to the pub, then we're going pig shooting.

And I was like. Yeah, that's something you do if your area is prone to savage pigs. My family home does not have boars running around. I'll tell you what, I'm in the Shire pretty much. I have savage pigs down there. Hello! I've never been to Oxford Street on a Saturday night. I'm of savage pigs.

Hello. You clearly haven't been to Oxford Street on a Saturday night. I have been to Oxford Street on a Saturday night. It's full of fucking greyhounds on their hind legs. Don't say that! They're not pigs. Greyhounds! Don't!

On their hind legs. It's very much like a skin chicken, isn't it? Did you turn our mics down? Our levels are peaking over there. Are they? After we did the rice bubbles thing. I turned them down. Okay.

Yeah, that's fucking ridiculous. I've been to Oxford Street. I went to Oxford Street. I was out, I think, but I don't think it was... I was actively looking for people to talk to. No, you've never really had that experience. No, I have, but I've never, I sort of got into a relationship because I didn't have the reason, the need to.

No, but you haven't been to Oxford Street as like an openly proud single gay man. No, I've been not single. You got with Hayden after, you came out after you'd been dating him in secret for ages, so. Yeah, for three months, yeah. Yeah. Very true.

Exactly. So you've never had that absolute let your fucking hair down go wild at a club it's great no i miss it until i had to come out my poor mother found out at a cafe did i ever tell you that story no probs someone else told her she heard it through the grapevine no in that sea of pigs out in the shire no she was squeaked it out she was in the she was in the bay of pigs out in the Shire. No. She was in the Bay of Pigs. I was like, my son. She was at a restaurant with her friend and I was in Melbourne with Hayden and I blocked her and all my family from viewing my stories.

And I forgot to block her best friend of whom she was at lunch with. Anyway, she sees Hayden in my story, very unromantic. Who's this man that Mitch is giving a goby to on the Great Ocean Road? I didn't realise there were 13 apostles. Oh, wait. And this lady goes, oh, Mitch looks like he's enjoying his Melbourne trip. Mum's like, you haven't seen much. And she was like, oh, but he put this on

his story today. And it was Hayden at some museum. And mum was like, what? Clicked his profile, went on Hayden's profile the waiter of the restaurant struts up hi welcome to me what can i do oh my god is that hayden hickson and mum goes i don't know i don't know who is this person and he went oh that's hayden hickson i'm friends with him and my mum was like oh he's in melbourne and he's like yeah he's in melbourne and my mum was like do you know who he's with in Melbourne?

And no word of a lie, he said, oh, yeah, he's with his new boyfriend, Mitchell or something. I haven't met him. Clearly this good friend of Hayden's hadn't been thoroughly briefed to shut your fucking mouth about the secret boyfriend. Yeah, that's how it happened. Then mum got pissed on Apple Martinis and sent a selfie of her, her best friend and the waiter to me going um can't wait

to meet hayden like blah blah blah being really passive aggressive because i hadn't told her um and then i'm literally my heart sunk we were on the great ocean road when it happened oh there you go i called it so fucking great just an ocean road i have to say why was it that imperative that you posted shit on the Melbourne trip, even by blocking your family? Obviously other people in your life were going to see it, were going to know. It's not like it was, you're not very good at secret keeping.

You should have just posted nothing. You know what? I don't know why. I do not know why I did that. Because you don't think, Mitchell. No, I do. I just remember thinking, oh, it'll be fine. It'll all work out.

And it didn't. That's all worked out now. That was a horrific couple of months after that. It was tragic. It was truly tragic. There you go, guys. So there's the story. I didn't completely forget about that.

I completely forgot about that. Yeah, look. I mean, I can fully regret it if you like. No, no, no, no, no. An A380 was overhead. We were in the bush. We went to a jazz bar that night. Seagulls can go down.

There's no seagulls at the jazz bar. Unless there was. No, there wasn't. Anyway. One time I was going to post an Instagram story on a Sunday about how hungover I was. Yeah. But I had fully committed to the idea of calling in sick on Monday

and I was like, shit, I can't put this on Instagram story and then call in sick. They'll all know that it's because I was absolutely drunk out of my mind on the weekend. So I went into the bit where you hide your story from people. And, God, turns out there's a lot of people in this workplace. I was like, right, I'll block the EP, block the content director, block the assistant content director.

I even blocked Bradley, our voiceover guy. Oh, no. Beautiful Bradley. I blocked you. I blocked Petho. I blocked you, Jenna.over guy. Oh, no. Beautiful Bradley. I blocked you. I blocked Petho. I blocked you, Jenna. I blocked everyone in this office. And then as I started going, like, it was snowballing.

I was like, oh, if I'm going to block them, I better block the newsroom, Deb Clay gone. And then I was, like, going, oh, fuck, I don't even know the people in sales. I was just blocking everyone. The receptionist. And then it got to the point. I did.

I blocked Vanessa, the receptionist i did i blocked vanessa the receptionist she's beautiful but she's mouthy and it got to the point where i'd blocked like 40 people and then i was like do you know what it's not worth the risk because knowing me i've forgotten someone or they'll know someone who knows someone i'm pretty sure some of the staff members kids follow me and i don't know their names so what if they said to their father oh look here's m Mitch from work. Absolutely munted. And then I was like, no, I can't do it.

And then in the end, I didn't even call in sick. Really? It's just not worth trying to cover up lies because you can't post it on social media and expect no one to see it. You know what I mean? I agree. So, yeah, I can't say I'm surprised that your little gay getaway came back to bite you. That rendezvous did not, you know, bode well. You've got mail.

Oh, brilliant. Because live tweets are broken. I've had to install archaic means of communication. You've got mail. Thank you. If you want to send us an email, idjim.podcast.emailaddress at gmail.com. It was hotmail.

I forgot the password. What about the AOL? The AOL. With the AOL, I forgot the password, so you can't do that. You can call us as well, but, yeah, we have three emails. You've got mail. Four emails. People just seem to love it, so there you go.

Anyway. Have you still not fixed live tweets? No. Brian, the technician, is away in Hawaii. And he's forgotten the AOL password. I've Brian the technician's away in Hawaii. And he's forgotten the AOL password. I've forgotten the AOL password. Hotmail. Gmail, everything.

Alright, well, what can we say about next week? The, oh dear, team are very fun. What are their names again? It's Margaret and Go on. Margaret and, is it Damien? It's Margaret and... Go on. Margaret and... Is it Damien? No.

Trent and Cathy. Well, the four of us are in a group chat called All The M's because all of our names begin with M, so you figure it out. Oh, the woman's Mary. Mm-hmm. And the boy is Marcus. No. He is not.

Morgan. Morgan, there is not. Morgan. Morgan, there you go. Morgan and Mary. Their podcast is very, very fun. You've never listened, have you? Never in my life. Never. They're very funny, but they're also very smart.

It's intimidating. Shit, it's our podcast if we were intelligent. I know. I'm planning next week. I'm hoping to ask for their help in maybe helping us come up with a new catchphrase for the show. Yeah. Not that I have anything against something you've noticed, something you hate or appreciate, but theirs is great. What is it?

It's your source for all things pop culture, politics, penis and pussy. That's brilliant. And I'm like, that's wonderful. I love that. They talk about, you know, sex and politics and pop culture and stuff. I was like, damn it, that's awesome. Penis and pussy. I want them to come up with one for us.

What could ours be? I'm going to ask them. We can come up with one. We don't need their help. No. We don't need Mary and Marcus's fucking opinion. We could do, is it just me? Got a question?

Keep it to yourself. That doesn't really sum up what we're about. It's fun. It's fun to yell at people. We could do, is it just me? Current affair, but without the research. No, I'm not sold on that. No, nor am I.

I'm telling you, we can just do this next week. Yeah, we could. You're very true anyway and I was looking at the sound effects board no I'm not I know how much I hate it when I do the sound effects I would never

alright we should probably wrap shouldn't we when are you going to get the tweet thing back well the tech said that they could build the okay letting go of the stupid theatre of the live tweeting thing people are now the stupid theatre of the live tweeting thing. People are now saying, oh, we missed the live tweeting thing. I personally hate it, but I do take on feedback from our audience. You've said you're going to get it for like the last three weeks.

You've also said you're going to delete the gun sound effect. Would it kill you to do something that you said you're actually going to do? Do you want me to delete the gun sound effect? Yes. Which one though? Do you want the old timey? Both. Both? Yes. You don't? Do you want the old timey? Both.

Both? Yes. You don't like the four, the little. Anything that could maim or seriously injure a person. No, but I feel like it's a metaphor. Yeah, I do too. For what, Jenna? The tide is turning on you too, Mitch. You know, my anxiety, everything.

I agree. And I feel like you're very tense today as well, Mitch. Yeah. What's happened? Nothing. Really? I just want you to get rid of as well, Mitch. Yeah. What's happened? Nothing. Really? I just want you to get rid of the gun sound effects, please. You miss your pussy.

No. Your cat. I do miss my cat all the time, but yeah. All the time? You know what it's like to be a pet owner. You know, I don't miss my dog all the time. Oh, I do. She apparently misses me too.

Jordan said that she sits at the door and waits for me to come home. God! And when she hears me reversing into the carport downstairs, she gets excited. You've become such a weird cat guy. Very quickly. You were that online social media sensation, the Christian Hull of the East,

and now overnight you're simply the cat guy. All your content. I haven't lost followers because of the cat. I'm sure you haven't, but you haven't lost followers because of the cat i'm sure you haven't but you haven't gained followers because of a cat i've definitely got a lot more people engaging with the cat thing like there's fellow cat owners right you know replying to shit how many cat be honest how many cat groups you now part of on facebook just the one i joined no why are you laughing at that that's so funny. Why is it funny?

What is it? Cat Owners United? No, it's Maggie's Rescue Foster Care as an adopting. That's where Daphne's from. Yeah, that's the place that I adopted her from. There's a group for everyone in there that, you know, is one of the people. That's fine. You know what I mean.

I can't think of the words. No, I know what you mean. Oh, that's nice. Oh, okay. That's cute. I thought you were part of like Cat Owners Australia.ralia no it'll post your collars and your no litter and do you find yourself missing isabella say you've spent six hours over time at work do you think about fuck i want to go home and play with my cat oh like not in that sense but i do often think that's

where i'd rather be like obviously i don't want to be doing overtime at work when i could be at home with the cat do you think it's an ideal relationship rather be. Like, obviously, I don't want to be doing overtime at work when I could be at home with the cat. Do you think it's an ideal relationship because she just can't talk back to you? She does talk back to me, just so you know. Yeah, well, your hand was maimed over the weekend. That's got nothing to do with the talking. Well, I don't exactly think she was thinking positive things while she was clawing at your fucking artery. Well, I was trying to put a harness on her

and she absolutely mauled my arm to death. But, you know, I probably would too if someone was trying to put a lasso around my neck absolutely mauled my arm to death but you know i probably would too if someone's trying to put a lasso around my neck yeah very true i'd be like a what the fuck we didn't discuss this good point i can't believe you bought a harness for your cat i know and then someone online said oh you just need her to associate it with comfort so like put it in her cat bed so that she kind of gets used to it being near her. Every night since, she's slept on my bed because she won't go near her bed so long as that harness is there. She's clever. Oh, no.

She's very smart. Very smart. I keep waking up at, like, 10 p.m. and I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? And she does that thing that all cats do, you know, when they, like, tread on the surface and, like, get all comfortable. I'm like, oh, mate. This show's slowly becoming the fucking cat podcast. I'm fine with that. Let's do some.

How would you start the cat podcast? Welcome back to Cat Weekly. Today we have a beautiful tabby going up for grabs later in the show. Today we're going to learn. Today we're going to be hearing from and learning from high functioning cats. Today's guest, Jenna Benson. Jenna is a cat who has managed to maintain a full-time job, get on the honours list at university,

and host a highly successful podcast alongside two iconic men. Jenna, welcome to the show. She still has time for a tub of fancy feast when it's all over. Welcome to the show, Jenna. Hi. Now, a lot of cats look up to you as a very successful cat. Yes, they do. That's how it would be.

That would be a question. Okay. You know what? That was better than I anticipated. Yep. Anyway. Anyway. Highly functioning cat.

What's a highly functioning cat and what's a low functioning cat? Well, some cats don't leave their apartments. Jenna has a job. Very true. Jenna can drive a car. Can you drive a low functioning cat? Well, some cats don't leave their apartments. Jenna has a job. Very true. Jenna can drive a car. Can you drive a car? No, she can't. You can't drive a car?

No. Jenna. Well, I can, but I don't. You just don't have one. Why are you acting like this is new information? I didn't know she couldn't drive. I just thought she didn't drive. She's been on her L's for four decades.

Have you done any driving courses or classes? Yeah, I went for my P's like four years ago and I failed because I was speeding. I didn't know that bit. You were speeding? You were speeding? Yes. Where? The guy had to say, can you slow down? So then I was like, okay, well I've

obviously failed. He was allergic to cats. He was sneezing the whole time. Oh, Jenna, you poor thing. You should learn to drive though so Mitch doesn't have to wait for you every morning. For goodness sake. It's not the waiting. It's just the air of panic that enters my space first thing in the morning. Yeah.

Because if she sees me already parked there, 5.20am every morning, we agree. It'll be 5.26 and she doesn't just get in the car and go, sorry, I'm late. This is what I see out my window. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm watching. He's getting up out of his chair. He's leaving the studio. Okay.

So he's being you, Jenna. The door's closed. Sorry. Sorry, I'm late. And I'm like, babe, you don't have to sprint with such erraticness in your person, in your breath. I just don't need that first thing in the morning. It makes me very uneasy.

What do you do? What's your morning routine? Do you shower every morning? Yes. Do you, Mitch? Yeah. Actually, no, sorry, every night. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, same. I shower every night. I shower both. Really? Yes. Yeah. What? No, just think it's a good idea.

Anyway, we should probably think about leaving. We've been going on for a bloody ages. Ouch. Hopefully you can learn to be on time, Jenna. That wouldn't kill you. What about this week? What about this week? What about this week, Jenna?

Okay. What do you call 5.30? Oh, we have this rule that if I'm not there by 5.30 and I haven't texted her beforehand to say, don't worry, I'm coming, that means I've slept in and just walked to work. Nice rule, yeah. And so if I realise, oh, it's 5.30, oh, shit, I will just message her, be like, don't worry, I'm still coming.

Yeah. And that's happened a couple of times recently. A couple. Really? Do you freak out? Do you start walking? No, it's at 5.30, that's when she starts. Ah. Yes. Are you waiting in the foyer? No, it's at 5.30. That's when she starts. Ah.

Yes. Are you waiting in the foyer? No, I'm waiting in the cold. Oh, Jenna. Jeez, just stay in your apartment. How long does it take to get down to the Meriden Suites? No, because then I'll have to sprint out again. Oh, my God.

Has Amanda Keller ever called you and gone, where are you? No. Really? What kills me is that I'm pretty sure Jenna has me on Find My Friends, so she knows when I'm nearby. Oh, and she just... Oh, I don't use that. And it's still such a rude shock when I'm there

and I'm, like, out the front of her house waiting for her. It's like, yeah, well. No, ever since I got my new phone. You can literally track my every move. I'd love to have you guys on Find My Friends. Should we add each other? Yeah. Oh, I could untangle all sorts of webs of lies that you're caught in.

Are you ready for that step? I don't lie about my whereabout. I'm not a fucking murderer. I'm not on Serial, the podcast. I'll just open the app and be like, Mitch is in the building. He must be stuck making small talk with Deb from the newsroom again. I make small talk with so many people in this office.

I know. It takes you so long to get from the car park to here. Well, everyone loves fucking talking to me because I listen to their stories with so much intent. How do I do this again? People tell me some woeful things. Find my... Jerry from Sales' wife's pregnant.

Oh. Twins. Oh, no. And you know how they struggled. Oh, my God. So good for him. And them. Yeah.

I mean, they're pregnant, really. We should say they're pregnant. No, you shouldn't. Shouldn't we? No. It's not hard they're pregnant, really. We should say they're pregnant. No, you shouldn't. Shouldn't we? No. It's not hard for the guy, really. At all. Just put it in, you know what I mean?

I saw the funniest tweet. It's very vulgar. Are you guys ready for it? Yeah. It's like someone, it was a comedian. She was like, when people say we're expecting, oh no, when people say we've been trying for a baby, all I picture is, he's been doing massive cummies in my pussy.

That was very funny. Where's the humour in that? I don't understand, there's no wit involved. What is that? What? That's not funny. I thought it was very funny. Because it's true, when someone says to you, oh we've been trying for a baby, I instantly think, oh you've been having

unprotected sex. And? Nothing. My mind goes there. What if the cleaner of the building goes, we've been trying. You instantly think of sex in your mind. Yeah, that's fine. Of course, I love it.

Well, yeah, that's how it happens. What if I told you that I was trying with my wife and you had to picture me mounting a woman? You'd be fine with it by your logic? Well, and what if I wasn't fine with it? What am I going to do? Like, I'm not going to dwell on such a useless emotion. They had sex to conceive. If you're a couple, I assume you fuck.

I know, but the fun part of this is thinking about it. Oh, is that right? Yeah. Goodness me, your mind must be a prison. Just relax. What do you mean? Open the doors. I am, your mind must be a prison. Just relax. What do you mean? Open the doors. I am relaxed because I'm just like, yeah, whatever.

They porked to have a kid. That's fine. Yeah. What about a couple that you think are interesting and you have to think about them having sex? You go, I wonder how it would have worked for them. Not really. I don't judge them. I don't give a fuck what they're doing.

I'm not judging. I'm just saying. I always think the people that you would least expect are actually the most kinky. Oh, 100%. It's always the meek and milder ones. I'm like, you're a are actually the most kinky. Oh, 100%. It's always the meek and milder ones. I'm like, you're a beast, I bet. Oh, yeah, 100%. That's why they call me Meek Mitch.

That's why Jen is the groundskeeper. Anyway, I'm just Mitch because very vanilla. All right, we need to get out of here, guys. It's been a great week. Next week we're on with... Oh, dear. I'm going to say that next week when I have them on. Oh, Michael and Margaret, hosts of the Fame podcast.

Oh, dear. Every time it's a different sort of enunciation. Oh, dear. Oh, someone's just told... Give me a story and I'll do my oh, dear based on that. You're in the passenger seat on a Sunday drive and you guys accidentally hit a white dove. Oh, dear.

Oh, yeah, actually that's better. I'll give you one. Okay, you are a boost juice. You order a banana buzz, a large one and they give it to you and as she passes it to you, she drops it. Oh, dear. No, it's okay. Oh, that's nice. Alright, Jen, I've got one for you.

Okay. Let's just say you are back working in Studio 10 and Kerri-Ann Kennelly offers you work experience. Oh, dear. Can we go? We'll see you next week. Bye, guys. Bye.

Bye. Bye.