Is It Just Me? - #34: Oh Dear!

Episode Date: June 28, 2020

Our crossover episode with Morgan & Mary from the 'Oh Dear' podcast (RIP) Make sure you go check out PART 2 on their show once you're done here.   In this episode: Male pregnancy (06:39) Things better than drugs & dick (11:41) Skinny dipping (13:21) TikTok reading us to filth (20:07)  Overly honest friends (23:12)  Our "secret segment" ADDebrief (36:20)   Follow us @coupleofmitches See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. A surge in young people inhaling the gas from cooking canisters known as veins to get high. Some things make more sense than others. I've done everything for you. I've put my career on hold. I could have been anything if I'd had the talent. Brace yourself for observations you didn't ask for. This is leadership. I think he's one of the greatest leaders we've ever had.

Do you? Yeah. Well, good, I hope. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Should one of us be Mitch and the other be Mitchell just to make things easier? You're Mitch.

I only call you Mitchell when you're being annoying. You always call me Mitchell. Oh. Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Hello. G'day, guys. Welcome back for another week. Jesus, I feel like I'm in Centrelink with the amount of people that are in this room.

It's horrific. We've obviously got third wheel, groundskeeper Jenna. Say hi, Jenna. Hello. Five wheels. Is there a word for that? It's just a fucking tractor, isn't it? A truck.

I've been in that kind of sexual situation, yeah. Yeah. Five wheels. So we've got Morgan and Mary from the Oh Dear podcast with us. Hello. Oh dear. No it's oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear.

Oh dear. Was there a particular inflection in mind when you named the podcast or is it open to interpretation? I think that like the first memory I have of it which you can you're like so mad. We were in the car and Morgan wanted me to get his phone up for something. Or maybe I was just looking at it without his permission. Who knows?

It's me. Anyway, and some guy had messaged him on Grindr being like, I want to fuck you on your back so I can look you in the eye. That's nice. That was the first message he sent. And Morgan said, oh dear. Yeah. I thought that was really funny.

So he named a podcast after it. Yeah. Well, beautiful. Something that's really nice to always remember that moment Yeah, it's one for the kids So sweet So if you haven't heard Oh Dear's podcast They really have quite a killer catchphrase To go with it I'm hoping to get some help from you guys Coming up with a new catchphrase for us

Because it's not on your level So it's, what is it, your source for Pop culture, politics, penis and pussy. Oh, that sounds like a Labor catchphrase during an election. That's brilliant. That is what we're chanting at Town Hall, yeah. That's what Penny Wong will run with in 2025. No, she wouldn't.

She'd be like, I don't like penises. Pussy, pussy, pussy and through. Who said penis? Pussy, pussy, pussy and pussy. Who said penis? Who came up with the catchphrase? I was thinking about this in the car ride here because I've never really thought about it much

but I think we just kind of did it. I think we came up with politics and pop culture and then I think we had to think of two other keywords. And we wanted to do something like, you know, gay and girl but we didn't want to exclude or include. So like, you know, sex organs. The two parts. And polyandroid just didn't really ring off. Makes sense.

But if you listen to the first, like, three episodes, I cannot say pussy. Why? I'm, like, stuttering and, like, you take it, Mary. I'm, like, nope. Pussy. Have you ever seen one up close? No.

Like, in a dark party on a reclining chair, but that's a whole story. Yeah, okay, but you've never sort of... No, I've never been, like, face-to-face with the myth and the legend. You've never let someone out. That-face with the myth and the legend. You've never licked someone out. That's what he wanted to know, Morgan. This sounds like the debate with Penny Wong and the Liberal leader.

So you've never licked someone out? Is that what I'm taking from this? You've never licked someone out, Albert? That's interesting. How can you leave the country if you've never tasted a pussy? Albert. Who's Albert? Albanese.

Yes. Is his first name Albert? No, Anthony. Anthony. But in my mind she calls him Albert I would have loved Penny Wong and

Tanya Plibersek just females in power wouldn't that be great Tanya just doesn't do it for me what if they get their periods

like I just can't get hard for Tanya like I just can't get all the way there yeah you don't like Tanya nah she's just not like

not the first time I've had me on a get hard for a Tanya I don't find her that like warm no not that a woman

needs to be warm to be a leader. Well, you just said she does, so. Anyone needs to be warm. She just seems like the step-mom that never really loved you. Yes, that is it, actually. That is 100%. She goes through the motions. She does the right thing.

She buys the Christmas presents. She doesn't call you fat, but you don't feel comfortable. She'll happily pull you aside and be like, I think what your dad really wants to say to you is... You know how your father was abused as a child? That's why he has problems with emotions,

so stop looking at him like that. Yeah, 100%. I remember the same-sex marriage like decision day when Magda Spaganski was sweating and just fucking on the stage dancing. That was her last time

we brought her out for a show. Yeah, oh yeah. She's back in. Her and Kim K, that was the last time we saw her. Yeah. And we just saw CGI'd. I stepped on Tenya Plibersek's foot

like just before the announcement was drawn because we were acting like sardines because she's just a hateful person because she was yeah no I was nowhere near

I bolted to her foot and I just stomped on it and I stood on it and she said fuck and I was like so beside myself really? yeah and then

when the same sex I was in the closet and when so you were like you're really hot I'm like sorry give me your number and then

and I stood on it and they're like the vote is yes and she went congratulations to you to me she smelt it

she smelt it on you you were like oh this haircut's just like an accident I don't normally go for such a groomed look it was really windy on the way here

like it grows up on its own this Jonas Brothers t-shirt like I don't know it's just fun it's just fun well anyway you guys have got a challenge to come up with

a better catchphrase than our current one. What is it? Our current catchphrase is something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. That's what the is it just me's are at the start of every show. Have you two brought an is it just me? So Morgan's got a really good one. Oh, God, do I?

Don't say it. Give us a little amuse-bouche. Like, tease us. My phone's attacking me. Like, it's reading me to filth. Oh, I love that. Yeah. Mary, what about you?

People are rude. And that's my teaser teaser is it just me or are people rude no no no people are rude that are your friends anyway i'll get i rank morgan today to complain about someone and then morgan was like just use that for your thing you're funny and i was like she's just not a good my friend your funny part okay i just put that in there for my own self-esteem but you tear it right down so we have four idioms you're gonna come up with a catchphrase for us i'm working on that I've added the funny part. Okay. I just put that in there for my own self-esteem, but you tear it right down. So we have four idjams. Are you going to come up with a catchphrase for us? I'm working on that.

As we speak. Oi, Jenna, by the way, if you think of an idjam as well, we may as well make it a home run. So please let us know before the end of the show if you think of something. How are you feeling, Jenna? Because there's a lot going on. No, I'm good. You're right? Is it overwhelming? When everyone in the room is doing an Is It Just Me?

Then I'm like, fuck, Jenna. I know. She should probably step up. I'm going to think of one. I think you start us off. Okay, well, what's yours about? Do you know yet? Mine is something that I have never done in my life and I never want to do, but I want to be able to do it, but I think it's discriminatory.

Licking posse. Yeah. I've done that. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Oh, you have? The day of the same-sex marriage debate, I stood on this girl's foot and she's like, come back to PM. I'm like, what's your problem in the house?

And I went back. That's not PM. Because that's what they call it. Where's the M? Parliament. Parliament. It's a hyphenated word. Grow up, Morgan.

All right, should we kick this off? Mitch, you're going to start us? Yeah, I'm ready. Bradley, count me in, Dallin. Is it just me? Or... Is there, like, a small part of you that kind of wonders, as a male, what it would be like to be pregnant? Like, spare me the birth.

I don't need that situation. But like, I just feel like the trippiness of having an actual being inside you would be wild. You can't not form a bond with it as well. You know what I'm saying? I have zero interest in that happening to me. Really? I just think it would feel, like, nauseating the whole time. Like, you know that feeling that you get sometimes when you're, like, sick?

Yeah, I do. That constantly. Morning sickness. Yeah. Also, but, like, I feel like I have cravings. And it's the weirdest fucking shit. The other night I got little ginger snap biscuits at one in the morning because I went to a service station.

I wanted to taste ginger. So I feel like I'd fuck with all the cravings. I feel like you've told this story to a pregnant woman and then wondered why she's hated you. Yeah. I get you. I get exactly what you mean. Yeah, I actually had a seven-star the other night,

and I had the weirdest craving. Oh, you're in severe pain? No, no, no, cravings. Back to cravings, honey. No, that's the only thing I can relate to. You've got a high-risk pregnancy? I don't care. No, I have no interest. Well, the reason I bring it up, I've just

had a sudden curiosity about pregnant men because the other day my YouTube recommended Do you remember that pregnant man that was on Oprah? Like ages ago? I wrote it down. His name's Thomas Beatty. It was one of their most highest rating episodes of Oprah ever.

Because he's interesting. Yeah. It was because he obviously was born a woman, transitioned to a man, and then he still had his reproductive organs, so he was able to get pregnant. And so you just had this visual of a man with a beard and a giant pregnant belly yeah and then so that came up on youtube and i was watching that going fascinating and then literally a couple of weeks ago i saw this daily mail article come up here i'm gonna he's

got he's got printouts he doesn't he doesn't do this when there's no take one and pass it on just colombian transgender model whose husband was born a woman and is carrying their baby shares sweet snap of her kissing his bump. Look at it. Show me. Give me a dog. I want to see. So I looked at these photos and I'm like,

damn it, I kind of wish I could do that. Good for them. And apparently it's a lot more complicated than, like, the hormone levels and the balances that these men have to get at to be able to still do this is, like, ridiculous. Like, it's medical beyond belief. Like, it's not just still got the bit, so do it. One thing I remember from the Oprah thing was,

this is graphic, but whatever, apparently all the testosterone that Thomas had taken had enlarged his clitoris, which made the natural birth complicated, and they only realised that, like, while he was trying to give birth. They're like, fuck, your clit's huge, it won't come out. So, yeah, they had to... I haven't told the same thing.

Oprah's like, Gayle had the exact same problem. She went through it with her. But I got out. She's the friend you would want. The sister you deserve. The mother we all need. Anyway, I was thinking, okay, this guy on Oprah, this model in the bloody Daily Mail,

these are the only two, you know, pregnant trans men that I've actually heard of. And I'm like, I wonder how common that actually is. Because that was ages ago, the Oprah thing. And then did a bit of Googling. Would you like to have a guess at how many transgender men have given birth in Australia in the last 10 years? Oh, my God. I would actually probably say zero. 45.

117. 45. Jenna? 73. Well, Morgan, you were closest. 228. Wow. In the past how many years?

10 years in Australia. I was like, who are these people? Why are they not on the project? I want to hear all about this. I was so fascinated by that. So you're emailing the project, be like, which one of you is homophobic? It's totally Pete Hellyer. Yeah. No, I reckon Pete's fine with it.

I reckon Carrie's like, I'm focusing on my beanies. I don't have time for everyone else. I don't have time for a pregnant man on my show. Her and Tommy Levitil are so homophobic behind the scenes. I'm trying to sell beanies and Tommy's trying to get a wife. We don't have time. We're not having Joel Creasy again. No. Why? Get Tom Ballard on. Yeah, yeah.

He has views. Oh, that Nicholson one. Oh, Rees Nicholson. The vampire. You said that with disdain. You're not like Rees Nicholson. No, I do. I just can't remember his name. You sound like he didn't give you a cigarette once. Yeah, we were at Ark once and he wouldn't light my cigarette. So,

I'll say what I said. That's a dog move, though. Not lighting someone's dart if you've got a lighter. Oh, he wouldn't light it? so i'll say what i said that's a dog move though not lighting someone's dart if you've got a lighter oh you wouldn't light it this is a fake story yeah i'm just making a general statement i'm trying to cover myself so mitch doesn't claw me mitch doesn't like to go clubbing so i like to lessons learned in the art smokers alley i like to pass them on so many things you learned i've climbed the back fence to get out of arc of trash alley security guard was like stop stop i tried! I tried to climb that same fence. Like, no, I'm going.

Is there not a gate? There is a gate. And it is an exit. Is there an entrance? Why did you scale the fence, you fool? Sometimes things happen, you need to scale a fence. And sometimes your friend can't scale a fence as well. Sometimes you've had more caps than you ever have before

and you just don't know what to do. Fair enough. You climb a fence. Fair enough. Judgmental. Speaking of drugs, I just realised I completely forgot the most important part of the show, arguably. Every time we get a guest on, I like to get them to contribute

to our list of things better than drugs and dick. It's basically just a way to appreciate the small things in life. Readouts. Honourable mentions. So a cool breeze, beautiful pizza Fluffy socks on a cool evening You mustn't lose sight of fluffy socks When you're getting dicked down That shh

When you open a beer A nice hot bath Stepping on a crunchy leaf I've got one to add This list is getting very long with all the guests Like a nice wheat bag Like a nice hot wheat bag. Oh, yes.

Okay. You're my mother. You think wheat bags cure things, don't you? Oh, God, yeah. Who wants to go first? Yeah, I'll give it a crack. What about the feeling of when you get into bed with socks on and you take the socks off in bed?

Oh, okay. Oh, that's a good one. You have that feeling? No, the sheets have to be fairly clean. Yeah, there's nothing worse than experiencing grit at your feet. Okay, that counts out my bed. My bed is off the table. There's often a crumb of a cruscut in my bed all the time.

I'm staying in a hotel. That's when I get that feeling. Okay, Mary? What about you, Mary? What's better than drugs and dick? Stealing from the self-serve checkout and getting away with it. Oh, yes! Yes.

Not that we endorse that or condone it. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Not that we endorse that or condone it. It's disgusting. I would never. Awful. I also would never favour a price of bacon. Good additions to the list. All right.

Now that that's out of the way, are you ready for your idjim for the week? Yeah, I'm ready to go. Okay, Bradley, when you're ready. Is it just me or? Should skinny dipping be renamed to just dipping? Good. Because I'm literally. You're everyone's beauty teacher.

I am the size of a demountable and I. You're not the size of a demountable. Or six foot three, you know, and I wear a 3XL. I'm not a small boy, so I can't be skinny dipping. I'm not skinny. It just doesn't work for me. You know? So do you have a name for it when you do go nude swimming?

I thought we could brainstorm. We could just call it, you know. Curvy dipping? No, because what if you're not curvy? Like, for God's sake, Mitch isn't curvy. I could be curvy dipping. You could be. We both could curvy dip.

First and foremost, I want to know who came up with the name. Jenna, can you Google who thought of Skinny Dipping? Skinny Dipping. I never realised that that name is so problematic. You know it was Kate Moss. Like, you just know it. I was going to say, I knew it was Kate Moss. And Kathy Kim Durella.

And Frank. She was in the attic being like, when I go swimming, it's called Skinny Dipping. They were like, put that in the diary, put that in the diary. If I have to live on one loaf of bread a month I'm going to benefit off it Jenna, have you got an answer for us? Who came up with skinny dipping? Yes, I do So it was first reported being used in 1947

That's a long ago Swimming naked was called skinny dipping because it was the act of dipping nothing but skin in the water while swimming Oh, okay Maybe skinny didn't mean skinny. Maybe just skin dipping, but not in 2020. That's a horror movie shit.

That sounds like BDSM going wrong. Sounds like there's acid involved. And your mouth's going to get sewn to someone's ass. Sounds like something a weird straight man would want to do with your feet. Skin dip. I like, we could just call it dipping. Don't you think? Alright, we can touch on all our ideas. But then what is it when you're doing a clothes on?

You go dipping. But no one dips their clothes on. Go for a dip. True. You need to clarify the form of dip. Yeah, my mum would say the word dip. Going for a dip. My mum just calls it a rude swim.

A rude swim? I love a skinny dip. My mum's like, I'm going for a rude swim. It's my pool. It's my rules. When you can buy a pool, you can have your own rules. That's so funny. Hold on.

Have you ever skinny dipped? Yeah. Yeah. Have you not? I'm a sexual animal. How dare you? Yeah, of course. I have.

No, I have. But I just don't enjoy the phrase, you know. The phrase. Okay. Call it a rude swim. I like rude swim. That sounds way less cheeky when you pitch it to your friends. Guys, later, let's go for a rude swim.

Rude swim's kind of hot too. Do you want to go for a rude swim? For a rude swim. I'm like changing my Tinder bio right now. Into rude swimming. Love the rude swim. But not rude people. Yeah, but the skinny dip has the assonance of the ick.

I like rude dip. It's nice. Yeah, I could settle for rude dip. Yeah, I'm happy with it. Would you do that? I like rude dip. I'd rather rude dip than skinny dip. Jenna, have you skinny dipped before?

No, but I am up for rude dipping. Yeah, because you're inclusive. It includes everyone. You're changing your Tinder bio as well. Yes. You're like, I'm not going to see if I will rude dip. Make of that what you will. And then you'll both awkwardly match because you're both into rude dipping.

Because I'm both into rude dipping. Okay, I feel like we've settled. I'm determined to include a rhyme or something. I've Googled words that rhyme with rude and there's nothing. What's another word for swimming? What have we got? Waiting. Waiting.

Drowning. Isn't that when a body's drowning? Gasping for air. Drowning. What about an automatic P? A splash. Air. Water on lungs.

Like a naked splash. Gash splash. No. Gash splash. That's not inclusive. Gash splash. That's Vinnie Wong's holidays. Is it just me?

You can follow the show online. Just search Couple of Mitches. If you don't, you're a dickhead. Make sure you go search at Odea on Instagram as well. Is that your handle, guys? Odea podcast. Odea podcast. Odea podcast.

I'm so sorry. Who has Odea? Some fucking moron. Really? No, there's another podcast called O Dear, and it's all about God. Yep. Like, there he is. And they're a lot more famous than we are.

I know, we thought it was going to be about Kylie Minogue, but it wasn't. It was just straight up God. We went through, when we started the show, a period where, because when you search Is It Just Me, there's like five other podcasts that come up first. So we went back and listened to all of the Is It Just Mes to see who was best. And we were, by far. And now we're the number one Is It Just Me. We beat them all out. Yeah, when you search Is It Just Me's to see who was best. And we were, by far. And now we're the number one Is It Just Me. We beat them all out.

Yeah, when you search Is It Just Me, we come up first. How about that? We're extremely competitive. Fuck all those others. They had Dido on their podcast. Is this you two on a first date? Dido. There'll never be no white flag above that podcast.

Anyway, guys, you might remember earlier I set you a challenge of coming up with our new catchphrase because the oh dear one is much better than ours. So you got anything for us well you want to stick with the mitch thing okay sure morgan's got a good one and it's manic you guys can get manic madness on the monday morning oh because it is monday manic madness on the monday morning that's good that is good very good but we're not exactly manic okay well that Well, that's for you to talk about. I have one, but it's not very good. Okay, yeah. Too Mitch is trying not to be bitches.

That's good. I do like that. The running title for this podcast was Mitch Please. That was the name of the podcast. I also wanted to call it You're Joking. That's what I wanted to call it as well. Yeah, you would have. And everyone would be like, Kath and Kim's over.

Yeah. I don't think that was a Kath and Kim thing. That's just a gross aunt thing i think everything you say is kath and kim it is well a vast majority of it like if you were on that show as an extra it wouldn't be exactly yeah it would make sense you're just shush please all right which one of these do you prefer mitch manic madness on a monday morning or two mitches try not to be bitches i'm sorry morgan but i think i like mary's go for it two mitches try not to be bitches is that i sorry, Morgan, but I think I like Mary's. Go for it. Two Mitch's try not to be bitches. Is that... I think Morgan's is better. She is the favourite. She's not the favourite.

She's the favourite. You're doing a cosima. You're stepping out of the competition. They all like her. We did a live and everyone hates me. No, they said they thought I was nicer than you. Oh, I definitely have that reputation. Mitch is the mean one.

Yeah, I'm not a fan. But I think I'm the warmer one. I'm super warm. I'd tell Mary if I, like, you know, was having thoughts. I'd go to you over Morgan. Okay. That makes sense. Oh, like, just, like, any kind of thoughts?

If you want someone who will let you, like... No, if I was having sad, sad thoughts. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm comforting. It's because I've got big boobs. Yeah. Same, same. I get that a lot.

I hold you to my pussy. If you need a shoulder to cry on, it's Mary. If you want to fix the problem, it's me. I like that. I like that. I'm not going to fuck around. I'm not here to fuck spiders. I always say that Morgan's love language is actions. I like that. I'm not going to fuck around. I'm not here to fuck spiders.

I always say that Morgan's love language is actions. Yeah, me too. We did this on our show. What's your love language? Abuse. No. No, I think I'm like, what is it? Mental game.

Words of affirmation. Affirmation. Affirmation. Yes. You're like, this says a lot of nice things to me. Oh, you are definitely the Mitch and I'm definitely the Mary. Yeah. 100%.

We know. And I'm the Mitch and he's the Mitch. Very confusing. Yeah. Okay, you guys. Have you guys brought in? Is it just me each round? You're ready to go? Yeah, I'm definitely the Mary. Yeah. We know. And I'm the Mitch and he's the Mitch. Very confusing. Yeah. Okay, you guys. Have you guys brought in? Is it just me each round? You're ready to go?

Yeah, I'm ready to go. Okay, who wants to go first? You want to fight to the death over it? Yours is more aggressive, so you should go first. What, so you can, like, make it all better? Fair. I'll go first. Ask Bradley to kick you off.

Just say, would you, Bradley, go for it. Yeah, Bradley, let's just kick it off. Go. Is it just me or... Is the TikTok algorithm the most, like, high-end thing you've ever seen? Like, when I go through my TikTok, the videos I am seeing is reading me to filth. Like, it's nothing but peck-bouncing videos and, like, women doing TikToks in the kitchen. Yeah.

Which is, like, me to a T, but I've never given them that information. I 100%. Do you know what I mean? I know what you mean. Like, if you scroll your TikTok, it's the kitchen. Yeah. Which is like me to a T, but I've never given them that information. I want 100%. Do you know what I mean? I know what you mean. If you scroll your TikTok, it's reading you. Yeah. I'm quite the opposite in that I'm like, what have I said or done for TikTok

to think that I want this much? Only casting videos? No, not even that. All I get is hashtag gay. Me too. Hashtag LGBT. Hashtag. And I'm like, I don't think I've ever liked

or anything. Because they're reading you to filth. I've done anything on TikTok to indicate that that's what I want. I'm not gay. I too. Hashtag LGBT. Hashtag. And I'm like, I don't think I've ever liked or anything. Because they're reading you to filth. I've done anything on TikTok to indicate that that's what I want. I'm not gay. I have no pride. Absolutely. I'm on TikTok for the women. I want strong, funny women. That's all I'm here for. I only follow Penny Wong and she only follows me. I'm trying to find

Kelly Rowland's account. I'm trying to find You know she's got a Finsta. You know. Or a Fiktok. And Beyonce refuses to promote on her Instagram and they're not talking because of it. Yeah, 100%. Everyone, go to your TikTok app and what's the first video that comes up? Turn your volume down so we don't fucking destroy.

Oh, I've got to find my phone. No one told me there were props. Jeez. Okay, what do I have? See, look, some homosexual getting a cucumber banged on his face and he's got to figure out if it's a dick. Gay funny. Hashtag have? See, look. Some homosexual getting a cucumber banged on his face. Oh, my God. Gay funny. Hashtag gay.

Oh, God. Yeah, see, I get that shit, and I don't understand why it thinks I want that. Oh, Morgan's like, I completely understand why. All I want is, like, niche Aussie humour. Yeah, mine's a girl doing the Julia Gillard misogyny speech. That's very up-right. Oh, I love that. Very you.

This is what my TikTok consists of. Oh, his pecs are bouncing. Yes, this is what I mean this is all I say on my tiktok wow this is very me Jenna you'll appreciate this

actually are you guys into musicals yeah yeah so it's one it's a guy singing one part of as long as you're mine he's singing the Fiero part and

he's like I need an alphabet so like you just want someone to sing along with him go on Mary let's make a tiktok you're right i've been read to feel he does this often my tiktok knew that i wanted this that's beautiful yeah like i mean my instagram like explore page isn't that in tune to me oh mine is it is lizzo making some sort of cornbread recipe.

Do you know one thing that I can't stand about TikTok? Do you ever have that nasty feeling when you're browsing and you're like, oh, my God, this person's so funny. They could possibly be my new favourite person in the world. Oh, they're 17. Oh, never mind. I'm obsessing with you because that's a bit fucked there's a lot of kids on the app

that was in my draft list of is it just me but I didn't want to be a pedophile no but like I always I'm always surprised by how young they are I don't know if people are just looking older these days but there'll be people and they'll post this TikTok and I'm like oh my god you're hilarious you're amazing and then they'll post one in their school uniform

and I'm like shit are you that young okay good to hear Jim that amazing and then they'll post one in their school uniform and I'm like, shit, are you that young? Okay, good to see you, that was great, well done. I liked it. Go Mary. You ready Mary? Um, Bradley? Are you there? Is it just me or Alright, so

I, okay How is that a transition from is it just me? It's is it just me or transition from is it just me? It's is it just me or say your sentence. All right. Is it just me? No, you don't need to say that. You don't need to say that. Oh, I just go, okay.

Or. No, he says or. He says or. So just go from there. You're going to have to just keep going. We only pay Bradley a fee for four. So he's out. He's out.

Just carry on. Is it really rude when people do not agree when you've already bought something to just say they like it hold on

look that wasn't great oh as in like when you give them a present no no no so a particular situation I'm in today

where I bought this like knitted boob pot plant so it's like knitted and it's got boobs on it it's hilarious adorable cute

fun it's one of my friends who's an out of work burlesque dancer so now she's knitting fake boob pop plants nice of course that's a new town story if you've ever heard one anyway and i sent it to my friend be like oh my god look how cute this is gorgeous and she wrote back with like a gross like emoji face oh and you already bought it and i already bought it i didn't say like oh should i get this like different thing if you're like oh my god should i get this asos skirt and they're like that's hideous but if you bought the asos skirt don't you think people have to be like yes i like it yeah i would say 100

that's a level of emotional intelligence that not everyone has you know but what is this why people think they're the messiahs of things that are attractive and not attractive i completely agree i hate it when they they say no that's foul that, that's ugly, and then they go, oh, but I just can't help but be honest. And then they go to sleep that night thinking that they've done a good thing. They think that being honest makes them a better person, but it's like, you don't need to be a cunt with no tact. Or if you're a heterosexual man, you call yourself a straight shooter. Or I'm just a straight shooter.

And you're like, no, you need therapy. Like, you can just be a little bit delicate, you know? But do you think we all have those friends that think that they're, like, your honest friend, but they're actually just a bit rude? Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. So that should have been, it's just me.

That should be my line. Does everyone have a cunt friend? Yeah. Yeah. Not just you, babe. But has anyone had a friend that was, like, where they've said something like that and you've been like, that's it, I can't be your friend anymore?

No, I haven't gotten to that point. I've had a friend like that, yeah, I have a friend that was like, where they've said something like that and you've been like, that's it, I can't be your friend anymore? No, I haven't gotten to that point. I've had a friend like that, yeah. I have a friend. What happened? Well, she was just very homophobic. Really? And I wasn't out, but I was like, well, I'm in this. You didn't buy your homosexualness.

What's that? You didn't buy your homosexualness. You didn't take a photo and be like, should I, should I not? No, that doesn't suit you. What am I thinking? Just 70 friend holes. It's not flattering.

But it's a very different story, I think. But I don't have a friend like that. Who do I thinking? Just seven different holes. It's not flattering. But it's a very different story, I think. But I don't have a friend like that. Who do I have? I have a friend who's like brutally honest, but doesn't see like where their honesty, doesn't see it at all, which I think is the worst part. If you own it, it's fine, don't you think?

I also think that same person that said to me, I didn't like it. If I had written that back to something she had got, she would have been really mad. You know that friend that thinks like they're the honest one, but if you told them anything honest, they'd like. You can give it, but not take it. If I had written that back to something she had got, she would have been really mad. You know that friend that thinks they're the honest one, but if you told them anything honest, they'd like... You can give it, but not take it. Yeah, right. They might be

visiting Watson's Bay at that particular spot. Yeah. I know what you mean. Mitch, you're kind of that friend, don't you think? Sorry, that joke really landed with Jenna. She's like, I've been there. I've been at that spot. I've seen the sun.

I can picture the black and white umbrellas. There was that old man that dedicated his life to helping. I was saying, I think, Mitch, you're kind of that friend that's, like, brutally honest. So if I came to you and I was like, hey, Mitch, I just bought this, like, really, like, fun outfit. Like, I'm super excited about it. It's a long sleeve black t-shirt with a banana on it.

What do you think? Yeah. It's very Andy Warhol. Would you be like, listen here, that banana is not going to get you laid. No, because I don't really, stuff like that, I don't really care. I just be like, whatever, wear what you want. I don't care. Just an ugly jumper, but sure.

No, I wouldn't say that. And even if I had that thought, I wouldn't say it because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But if you come to me for honesty and you actually ask what do you actually think should i do this should i i'll be like look that might not be a good move you know but i don't give a fuck about clothes and like your boob pot plant that's amazing i love it yeah no true you're very honest and you're a good friend but there's a difference though i think between being like should i or being like i've done it. Like when your friend's like, I'm engaged, you can't be like, oh. That's exactly what your reaction would be.

Yeah, with you, I'd be like, oh, okay, well, it's just one of us left. It's your life, that's over. Yeah. That's your funeral. Well, in that scenario, even if I didn't think they should be getting engaged to that person, I'd just be like, congrats. You always have to say yes, yeah. Yeah, oh, that's so amazing. Oh, you're going to do like a dessert bar?

That's so different. A chocolate fountain with marshmallows to dip in it? Oh, that's so amazing. Oh, you're going to do like a dessert bar? That's so different. A chocolate fountain with marshmallows to dip in it? Oh, my God. Who thought of that? Oh, my God. Two grazing tables? Stop it, big budget. You paid someone to do the charcuterie board?

Give me the name. What's the handle? Your mother-in-law is going to make the chocolate fountain herself. Yeah, no, she should. She should. She should. Can I see a photo of this bloody pot plant with tits on it? I want to see.

Yeah, go to, I don't know. Morgan will find it for you. That's my baked dinner last night. We text way too much. There's a photo of Morgan's baked dinner. Cooked silver side. Oh, yeah, I love a silver side. Yeah.

I did silver side, cauliflower bake, white sauce and green beans. Isn't that adorable? I fucking love a white sauce. I mean, you can't say that in the current climate, but I love a white sauce. Yeah, yeah, yeah, with onions. It's cute, right? Oh, my gosh. Show me, show me.

Oh, sorry. That looks like it would have taken some time to crochet those lips. It's adorable. Did they do a vulva one? Yes, a vulva hanging. Beautiful. I love it. Sorry, back to the ideal baked dinner.

Minted peas or standard? I did beans. So I do butter beans. Did you have to choose peas? Minted or standard? Standard. Yeah. Really?

I hate a minted pea i love really would you do a cabbage how would you cook it how do you cook cabbage yeah you just fry it up you guys don't fry cabbage you guys don't fry cabbage you just cut it up and then you fry it you guys don't fry cabbage just cabbage just with the soup like a green cabbage or a purple cabbage green cabbage and you just cut it up like slice up, and then you just fry it with butter and a bit of garlic if you're feeling resourceful. Yeah. Ethnic.

And then, yeah. No, we had a little bit more money than that. Yeah. Okay. My grandparents are poor. So they used to cook us a lot of that. And then you have it on sandwiches for a week. And by the fifth day, you're like, Nana, I don't feel like corned beef anymore.

She tells like some weird story about not having shoes when she was a kid yeah she's like other kids had shoes i didn't i was short i'm only five foot i'm like what okay your grandfather wasn't that nice to me okay um i'll just i'll leave the civil side i'm so sorry my dad used to rock one of those lines where he's like oh we didn't even have a school bus we used to walk to school sometimes the parents would let us take the horse to on cart and i believed it for so long and then I was like that was you went to school in like the 70s you definitely had transport. My nan told me that the bales of hay were dinosaur eggs I believed it until I was like

8. Oh my god and I was so worried they were going to hatch and I didn't understand why no one else was worried I was like any like because I was quite an anxious child like I had to go to therapy for it and I was like mum like you know they're going to hatch. She's still going to therapy for it Why haven't they hatched?, like, you know what they're going to have. She's still going to therapy for it.

Why haven't they had? What do you mean had to? But it's such a good lie that I know I'm going to bring that trauma to my children.

When did she give up the lie? I think eventually they were just like, look, Mary, stop worrying about it. Oh no, my friend had a farm.

Yeah. And we went to the farm and I was like, careful. He's like, we've heard that's a battle to pay. And I was like, listen here, Bradley,

it's not. Bradley? Yeah, it's Bradley. It's exactly who you think it is. And then like, yeah, they've showed me that there was straw in it. Because we grew up in Wollongong, my parents convinced my sister and I that the steelworks made clouds. Yeah, same. They called them cloud machines. So like when like the white

fucking clouds were going off They're like that's where the clouds are from You're just trying to distract me from your divorce And the fact I'm gay That's something a gay kid would believe too A cloud maker is so on brand for a gay kid I make my own glitter That makes sense dad

You guys nailed the itch room don't you think? Absolutely Well done guys I mean it's-in, don't you think? Absolutely. Well done, guys. Thank you. I mean, it's not rocket surgery, guys. It was for me. It was tough. We really struggled for a bit there, didn't we?

I did. I floundered. That was fine. We got there in the end. Jenna, did you think of anything? Oh, yeah, quickly. Do you have one? Okay.

But it's pretty dumb. Shut the music up. Because all the other ones have been so intelligent. That's right. Groundbreaking. You ready? Yeah. Okay, call them in. Come on, Bradley.

Is it just me or... Do cakes sometimes taste better when they're a few days old? Yes! Especially if they have cream, and I know you're not meant to. Sorry, remonate. Yeah, am I saying the wrong word? No, you're right. What does that mean? What does reminate. Yeah. Am I saying the wrong word? Reminate. No, reminate is looking better.

Reminate? What does that mean? What does that... Like, basically boil on its own stew. Yeah. Ooh, nice. It's like how Skitty Bolognese tastes better the next day, like the sauce, because it's had time, and you've added a bit more wine to it because you were drunk.

Yeah. We tried to make our own Red Rooster rolls on this podcast. Awful. And we followed a tutorial, and they were foul because they were so dry. And then all these people that work for Red Rooster wrote in being like guys we make them and then put them in the freezer and then heat them up the next day and that's how you get that beautiful sog and i'm like oh my god it's literally leftovers no wonder it tastes amazing we grew up with i wanted to bring this up we grew up with nothing but red rooster so red rooster is the only takeaway that kai ma hats so the town

gets together every three years and says no mackers we're staying with red rooster that's it yeah everyone's been fingered inside a red rooster i've been blind drunk in that red rooster yeah that's all we've had yeah that's so good so we know the menu yeah i mean i don't usually go past the rooster roll i do a flavor round because i'm a fat i'm a i'm a fancy girl nice constantly guiding it's not gonna flavor around see i'm a ripper roll the ripper sub yeah i'm a pineapple fritter kind. Constantly dieting. It's not going to flavour right. See, I'm a ripper roll. The ripper sub. Yeah.

I'm a pineapple fritter kind of guy. I'll have whatever with it. Whack it in a box meal. You get one anyway. And Jenna, they do cakes there as well. They've got these little pudding things. You'll have to get one and leave it on the bloody windowsill for a few days. I will do that.

I will do that. Who would have known Jenna would have had the best eat-em of the day? Well done. 100%. Who would have thought? Who would have thought? Well. I wouldn't.

We stopped talking about cakes and started talking about Red Rooster. What cake made you have this realisation, Jenna? Or is this always been a thing? Don't say the watermelon cake. I'll kill myself. No. No, I'm not into that. What watermelon cake?

Black Star Pastry. Yeah. I love Black Star Pastry. The chai lattes, yes. Everything else, no. Yeah. I like, what about Burke Street Bakery? That's too fancy.

Their custard tarts. Did you get a birthday cake? That was recent. Yes.. Everything else, no. Yeah. What about Bourke Street Bakery? That's too fancy. Their custard tarts. Did you get a birthday cake that was recent? Yes. Yes. Everyone ate that. But I'm talking about like the more povo cakes. Like the- Woolies cakes.

Yeah. I love a caramel Woolies cake. Caramel mug cake. Oh, so good. Just classic. No, caramel. Caramel. I love a Freddo frog ice cream.

Same. Same. It's someone's birthday and I don't care who it is. Yeah. Remember I had for the first time in years on the weekend a Neenish tart. Oh, stop. Someone's feeling a bit naughty. What was her name?

Was it Tanya? She wouldn't like being called that. No, she wouldn't. No. Well, thank you for coming on, guys. No worries. Thanks for having us. This was a pleasure.

Did you enjoy yourselves? I did. It was a great time. If anyone's listening and they thought, oh, no, I must have more of this banter between the four of them, we're about to go hijack the Oh Dear podcast. Oh, dear. We're going to give it to you. Oh, dear.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear! We're going to be bringing our game, Gold Digger, to their show, where essentially we're going to interview you guys. It's a little bit nerve-wracking, but we'll see how we go. I'm prepared to make things up. It's like a current affair. It claims to be we'll see how we go. I'm prepared to make things up. It's like a current affair. It claims to be informative, but really we have no idea what they're doing.

You're just chasing us down the street, but I can't bother running. You're like, just pick up a bit of speed. But why did you stop the building supplies? I don't know. I didn't mean to. You'll have to let me know any no-go zones, because these questions are all based off things that I've heard you mention on your show in passing. You're like, when was your last period passing I'm like when was your last period

I'm like I'm not answering that it's late no these are things that you've mentioned in passing and I'm like oh I want to know more about that and so I've got a whole list of things to get through with Gold Digger but you can find that over on the Oh Dear podcast where can they find it just search Oh Dear podcast it's pretty much anywhere

if you don't find us we'll find you thank you for coming guys Morgan and Mary. Bye. Thanks. So this is our second last episode of the podcast as well. Yeah for season one.

Next week episode 35 is going to be our last episode of season one. Yeah. And we've got something awesome planned.

I can't wait for this. Any loyal listeners of ours would remember back in episode 11 when I called you out for lying to singing superstar Lauv about what a jet-setting rock star you are when you said that

I'm in and out of LA. There you go. An absolute fib. And so Mitch is interviewing Lauv again next week and I know when it's happening so I'm going to come in and just be like, hey PS, hi Lauv. You don't know who I am but just going to interrupt and let you know. He'll have nothing.

What it's really like. He won't want a bar of it. We're close pals. Regardless, I want it to happen. Another fib. Close pals. We chat. We follow each other.

Absolutely. Well, you must be close pals. Oh, fuck it. Everyone I follow on Instagram and I are really close. I've had them. My ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend and I are best friends. All right, we'll see you next week for the last episode of season one Thanks for coming guys

See ya Is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app Or follow on Spotify Welcome to ADD Brief This is the secret bit on the end Oh my god Look at that We get live tweets on the end. Oh my god, look at that.

We get live tweets on the show. It's sort of like a podcast first. I can actually give you the number for the guy who installs it, so you can get people. They listen to the podcast live and then they get tweets. Please don't humour it. I hate the live tweets. That's out of buttress. Oh god. It would be. Play the gunshot.

You know what? Play the gunshot. The gunshot? Play the gunshot. Fucking bloody, he deleted it. This is such a fucking bore. You were saying last week that you couldn't come up with reasons why you would need the gunshot. True.

What about if you wanted to act out a running race at school and you needed a gunshot to start the race? Oh, yeah. That's brilliant. You're like, on your marks, get set, bang. I've got period cramps. I can't do it. I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry. I have period cramps.

I wish I could run, but I have period cramps. I'm going to sit down. Okay, thank you. I've got a stitch.. I can't do it. I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry. I have period cramps. I wish I could run, but I have period cramps. I'm going to sit down. Okay, thank you. I've got a stitch. Sorry. Stitch. Have you heard of those? I could die.

I'm going to sit down. Thank you. What about an earache? Earache, tummy ache. That was me. Parents are divorcing. Can't afford the school uniform anymore. Depression.

Can't afford a school uniform. I told our PhD that I couldn't afford the school uniform anymore. And it was a bit of a bad lie because he grew up across the road from my nan. So he's like, I know you can afford the school uniform. I know your parents really well. And I was like, things have changed. He's like, I'm just going to call your mom. He was the really hot PA teacher as well.

Yeah. And he used to sell my nan eggs from his chickens. Oh, did you guys go to school together? We've known each other since we were 12. 12. Wow. Really? How did you meet?

School. The school. MSN. He was 45 and exotic, but here we are. Chat Relay. Really? How did you meet? School. School. Aw. MSN, no. He was 45 and exotic, but here we are. Chat relay. We met on chat relay. He got his penis out ice cream.

I don't know. I actually, there is actually one still in the system. It's more vintage. That's like wildly coyote. That doesn't work for the relay race. I feel like that's Jonesy and Amanda. Is it?

Oh, how would Amanda use that? In what context? Yeah, why would Amanda use that? This is how Amanda. Is it? How would Amanda use that? In what context? This is how Amanda would use it. She went, so Miguel made me dinner and he put in an extra chili and you should have seen me run into the toilet. She'd make like a living room joke. No, I didn't get that at all. She's amazing.

We make fun of Amanda constantly in the show because she's brilliant. She's part of the Fab Four. Who's the Fab Four? Are you joking? Have you seen the new living room that they're's part of the fab four who's the fab four are you joking have you not seen the new living room that they're doing oh they're calling

it the fab four oh I didn't hear the girls in your name because they're going out and about now are they good time for that guys

the worst episode she ever watched was I forget his name now which is terrible but the guy the guy on it had cancer Barry

and then he came up to say he wasn't going to be on the show for a little bit because he was dealing with cancer and everyone was

sobbing and then I was sobbing and I barely watched the show my mother was like sobbing beside me. It was just an awful, awful hour of television. It's like when Claire died in McLeod's Boys.

Don't get me started. Please don't. That was a shock. It's on Stan. I almost re-watched it. Okay, that's fine. I whack an episode on occasion. Yeah.

And sometimes my friends watch it for the first time and they're like, this is no good. If you didn't grow up with it, it's a bit odd. It's extreme. I was saying this to Mary the other day. It never had a gay. No, I guess it did. Did it?

Season one, episode two. Remember that sheer that they thought that he has a secret. They thought he actually like killed his whole family, but he didn't kill the family. They just left

because they found out he's a poof. Because he's gay. Okay. But like a regular like... Yeah, that's way less depressing. Like Mr. McCloud had another bastard child and it was all homo that could come in.

How good would that be? I would have loved that. After Bloody Joe, you left. Bring in the gay. Can I use the horse's hair for my wigs or not? Answer the question, Dad. Stevie, is that a wig? Stevie, is that a wig?

Stevie, that's a wig. Stevie, stop crying. The Ryan's are hot. Oh, me and Jenna were massive McLeod's fan. Mitch, you've never seen it, have you? I've never seen it in my life. What's your favourite? Where were you when Australian TV was booming?

I don't know. What year was it on? When did it run? It was 2002. Yeah. Onward. Did you watch Packed to the Rafters? I loved Packed to the Rafters.

That was a bit later. But who were you in Packed to the Rafters? Which sibling did you identify with? Oh, Carbo. He was so fucking hot. He's not a sibling, but sure. Yeah, but he's still a featured player. I was a bit later. But who were you in Pact of the Raptors? Like, which sibling did you identify with? Oh, Carbo. He was so fucking hot. He's not a sibling, but sure. Yeah, but he's still a featured player. I was a major.

Now, I... Who was the guy from H2O just out of water? You were him. Oh, yeah. No, he was my favourite. He was Lewis in H2O. He cheated on his wife. In the show?

Yes, in the show. It was awful. Remember when he was, like, weirdly working for that music company or something? Yeah, that was good. And then he cheated on his wife. I never watched Pact of the Raptors. It was awful. Remember when he was weirdly working for that music company or something? Yeah, that was good. And then he changed his wife. I never watched Hatchet and Rafters. It was a nightmare. And then everyone forgave him, but I never forgave him.

I reckon Mitch was a Nathan, where he wants everyone to think and be aware how successful he is, but at the end of the day, you do still live with your parents. Who's Nathan? That was the one you thought you were. Nathan Rafter. Which is you now. No, I'm not Nathan.

If anything, I'm Hugh Sheridan. How do you figure that? I've admitted my, you thought you were. Nathan Rafter. Which is you now. No, I'm not Nathan. If anything, I'm Hugh Sheridan. How do you figure that? I've admitted my, you know, thoughts. What? What are you trying to say about Hugh? You've admitted your what? He dated Delta. I shipped it.

They're in a relationship. No comment. They're on and off. That's not just two friends at brunch. That's romance. You know how I mentioned that Jenna lives in Bondine and is actually secretly quite rich? So there's a scene in Pact of the Rafters

where they go to Sammy's parents' house and they rented Jenna's house for the day to be used as the rich house for that scene. And it wasn't in Vaucluse or anything. It was in Maroubra. That's disgusting. Oceanside, no less. I live in Botany, so...

Oh, Botany's great. You get those A380s at 10 o'clock at night. What was the address again? And geographically, it's the lowest town in Sydney. I'm not saying really. I like it because all the tradies haven't heard about the Me Too culture, so they're just very forward at the pub. Yeah, I get it.

It hasn't hit because you're so low, so it just goes above you. They're like, wait, over here. And everyone else is like, that's disgusting. I'm like, oh, we're coming over. Coming over. You're the one that appreciates it. Yeah, I'm coming. Boys, sit down. Don't get up for me. Don't get up for me don't get up for me yes i'll sit with you boys

no you can sit kind of in front of me i'm a cool girl that's very mcleod's daughter's energy yeah i'm stevie i'm stevie of the potluck where can i watch it stan stan yeah because mcleod's was booming at the same time that everyone was actually watching neighbors like back when you had your um um, fuck, Scullies. When all the Scullies were on the street, everyone was watching Neighbours. Neighbours would finish at seven and God, what a painful half hour waiting for McLeod's order at 7.30. Don't start me.

You had Seinfeld, but. I just had to sit there and watch Tracy control. Highbrow humour. Highbrow humour and Seinfeld when you're a McLeod's order fan. What else was there? What's the, um, blue, blue something? Blue heelers? Blue heelers. No. Don't say blue fan. What else was there? What's the blue something? Blue Heeles? Blue Heeles.

Don't say blue something. Is that Aussie? Yes. Offspring was one of my favourites. I hate Ashley. Oh, Anna Kenning and all her personalities. Exhausting. I know.

I love that show. But it killed it for me when Patrick died. What about Sea Change? It was right after that. He just knocked his head on some bitumen too. He could have gone up. My favourite was always not... Is it Billie? Billie was my favourite. She was the best singer of the bitumen too. He could have gone up. My favourite was always not, is it Billie?

Billie was my favourite. She was the best singer of the show. Obviously. She fucking carried that show. Yeah. But then she got a little bit suey in the end

and I was like, you're meant to be the funny one that's light relief from everyone else being all emotional. Well, I didn't like when her and Mick broke up. I also didn't like

when Mick slept with Asher. That was a stupid plot line. I know. And then he wrote that song, Your Sisters Are Six. That was awful. Oh yeah, that was fun. Your Sisters Are Six.

You'd love it, I feel. You reckon? If you like McLeod's Daughters. Yeah, it's a fun one. If you like strong female leads, you'll love Offspring. What was it? McLeod's Daughters, Sea Change, Water Rats. Sea Change, what's that?

Sea Change. Oh, are you serious? Oh, what's her name? Impossible. What's her name? Impossible something. Kim Impossible. No.

The main woman in bloody, she's got one. Sigrid Thornton. Secret, that one. Yeah, her. She said. Sigrid Thornton. Secret that one. Yeah, her. She said it and you got it wrong. Secret. The secret. Secret Thornberry.

Her. I loved... I was more animated. I loved all the... I was on Disney Channel. Cartoon Network. We didn't have that. Your Power Rangers, your Digimon, your Pokemon.

That was me. I love the Digis. Yeah, I love Pokemon. Digimon and Pokemon. I don't know how they got away with that. Blatant plagiarism. The same thing. No, they're very different. I fuck with Digimon. digimon very different yeah one was more anime than the other did you know they were both they were both animated there was no live

action oh i thought you said animated one was very manga digimon was very like yeah you know let's go to japan you know but that's right we've all been to japan before jenna was around before um films had people talking it was just like a piano accompanying Let's go to Japan. We've all been to Japan before. Jenna was around before films had people talking in it. It was just like a piano accompanying it. Yeah, silent films. Can you bring up some sort of piano music? Jenna might be able to identify what movie it's from.

I'm a big fan of Charlie Chaplin, so maybe if you get one of his. One from maybe 1923. You are a rich girl. That was just after you did your debut, wasn't it? Yes. In 23, yeah. How did you know that? Someone did piano lessons. I've researched.

He did piano lessons. Oh my God, I got my wish again. No, this was too... This was the first film you were in. No, but that's the twerking. There's people talking in it. That's from Jonesy and Amanda. I'm sorry.

You need to understand my humour. He's so stupid. You fucking do this then if you want.. Come on. He didn't understand my humour. He's so stupid. You fucking do this then if you want. Just go on. Do you guys hang out outside of this? No. Okay. We used to, but it just got too much.

I don't get that vibe. I don't know what you mean when you say we used to. Because we did once and then he got a boyfriend. Now he doesn't speak to anyone. Oh, you're him. You are him. I am not him. You've got a cat.

You don't talk to anyone. No, to your own admission, you're him. Does your I am not him You've got a cat You don't talk to anyone No to your own admission You're him Does your boyfriend Have his own place No Also it's between the parents Yeah it's hard

Where's the sex happening Who's got the squeakier bed At the parent Him Oh Yeah Very squeaky And it's like very close

To the kitchen Which never works The bedroom's right Next to the kitchen That's actually my ideal Location for bedrooms It's great for everything But sex

Yeah right But sex There's nothing What's this It's great for but sex Yeah Did you tell that to the kitchen. That's actually my ideal location for bedrooms. It's great for everything but sex. Yeah, right. But sex. There's nothing. It's great for but sex. Yeah. Did you tell that to the parents? We're going to be having anal in here. What's this, Jenna? This could work. Grace, this room. Do you remember this film? What was this from? This is beautiful. The last song by Nicholas Sparks, yes?

It's from Cats. Of course. This is the background music of that YouTube video that that bullying kid made. Remember when he had the cards like 20 years ago? This is quite a well-known film, so there's... It's all right. What are you going to play, Matt?

We'll go on next. It's all we've got. No, go to YouTube. The world is your bloody oyster. You just have to enjoy a Samsung ad. It's all right. We'll get't know go to youtube the world is your bloody oyster samsung ad it's all right we'll get through it what have you lost nothing she's clutching her purse like i've got nowhere to be i need to get the fuck out of here we still have to do your fucking she's like that yeah that can go for like 35 40 minutes like it doesn't have to be too long bullshit we're going two hours. Go for it. Give us a feature length.

Here we go, guys. Get closer. It's actually a Samsung ad. I knew it. Jenna, what's this from? One of my favourites. This was the first film I ever saw. Yeah. The Hindenburger just crashed.

Yes. 1919, I think it was. Charlie Chaplin, yes. Melinda Patho, I think. So many memories. It's a great payoff. Good set-up, Mitch. That was brilliant.

I think it would have been great comic timing had the music been ready. When we were ready for the jokes the first time. That was the assassination of Lincoln. That was the audio. That bullet did sound like it curved. Yeah, it did. It really did.

It sounded like it was in a theatre. It had acoustics behind it. That just sounds like when two cars on a freeway drive past each other. Yeah, it's very like Wile E. Coyote. It is. Roadrunner. It's the roadrunner noise when he runs away.

That's what it's used for in the system. Of course. Oh, is it really? Yes. In what context would Jonesy and Amanda use that? When they're talking about the coyotes. The roadrunner, which is every three days. Yeah, it's like hot tea.

When did they discuss that? Quite often. Fair enough. I guess they grew up with it, so. It's their McLeod's Daughters. Yeah. Good times. Well, Jenna and I can keep going without...

Why are we singing the McLeod's Daughters theme song? Don't do that. It'll take some time to hide and come back home. And it's very similar to when you think of the MasterChef theme song That you can picture what they're doing As the music's going Like you know when you listen to Hot and Cold And you're just picturing people like

Tossing a fry pan and turning around Like you're picturing Stevie like bareback Just going Oh my god Like brushing the horse's tail You're hot and you're cold You're yesterday Do you think Katie gets royalties from that?

She has to 100% That's why they had to beg her to be on it. Oh, my God, I know. She was so weird on that, too. She was on something. Finally, the artist that did our theme song. She should have sung it live.

As they walked in, she should have sung it. That was Katy Perry trying to make maternity money. Why did they not get Shannon Knoll on The Biggest Lose? I feel like he'd be fatphobic. I was just about to say. Absolutely. He would have said a slur. He would have been like,

can I get my wife on here? She's pregnant. And they would have been like. And what was the host's name? The Centrelink forward woman? AJ Rochester. She claimed the single mother's pension like twice or something. I can't remember.

That's fine. That's business. Bless her. Yeah. And she went on Jonesy and Amanda to promote. No, just hear this. To promote her son because their son can't find a job.

I love that. She went on to say how pretty he was. Can my mum be on that show? And she was on First Dates as well. Oh, she was? Yeah. So the bird that replaced AJ as host of Biggest Loser fucking followed me on Instagram.

Her name's Hayley Lewis underscore swimrun. Like, okay, add your profession at the end. What if I just go Mitchell underscore talk shit? Like, is that all we're doing now, Hayley? That would actually be gorgeous. That's a handle. She's a PR lady. All right.

What would you do? Me? Yeah. What would I do? I don't know. She's a three times Olympian. Fuck, I never realised. I feel like I just assumed she was a past contestant.

Me too. I just thought she was a contestant. I thought she was big or anything. No, she's smaller. That's why it works. That's why she's the ambassador. But she came from out of nowhere. Like, AJ left.

Yeah. Yeah. Can I see Mitch? Do you remember her? No, I don't know who we're talking about. Hayley Lewis, biggest loser host, four-time Olympian. She swims and runs. Does she?

But everyone kind of stopped watching by the time she was in it. It was like, we're doing normal families this year. No, because they did that one where they made, because everyone watches Biggest Loser until one of the contestants gets thinner than you. And then you're like, this is fat shaming. But like, what about the most recent one? The most recent one, they were all skinny.

Yeah, they were normal skinny yeah they're just normal people it was weird nothing was when you actually get to a weight that they were like crying about on the biggest looser yeah i've seen it i'm like oh that oh that's me yeah i'm like oh actually that was a thin year for me yeah i was really happy but that's my goal weight and she's sobbing sobbing my cousin was the producer on it. Really? Yeah. So I can't really say anything, I don't think. But I'll tell you what she said at family dinner. But I can remember her being like, every time I'm on that show, I'm worried someone's going to have a heart attack.

Really? Yeah, because of the, like, the, I think as the series went on, they probably got, like, better at, like, making sure no one died. But I reckon the first season, they were like, let's just make these bitches run. Yeah. Like, get on the treadmill, you fuck. I don't care. Yeah.

You can't breathe. And Michelle used to go in What about the big old lesbo from the US one? Michelle Michelle with an accent? Jillian's actually become Jillian's actually become very like Chill

And she's also like a TV personality I don't like Jillian She was like, you know Lizzo's promoting obesity I didn't know that No, No, I don't like Jillian either. She was like, you know, Lizzo's promoting obesity. Oh, yeah. I didn't know that. No, but I'm in her own Instagram. She does these videos where she, like, basically dumbs down nutrition.

She goes, okay, the reason you're not losing weight is because, and, like, she's so calm and rational rather than being like, get on the treadmill! Like she is on the TV show. Yeah, but she still seems like a mean stepmom. 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's the one that was like, but she still seems like a mean stepmom. 100%. Oh, yeah, for sure. She's the one that was like,

I bought you an aspirational science for Christmas. She's the mean teacher in year six. You know that one? You're going to go to B school, grow up! And you're like... You can't do handwriting, grow up! You'll never get your pen license! What way do you write? Left or right?

What way? She seems like the type that only just got out of uni and loves teaching English. She loves the language and she's like, I'm a big fan of Shakespeare. Twelfth night really got to me. Twelfth, not twelve. Everyone listening, twelfth, not twelve.

You know what I miss about high school, leaving primary school? Fruit break. A dedicated ten minutes. Like a munch in a crunch kind of situation. I never had that. I wanted to eat a stick of fucking celery. We had fruit break.

No, but everyone's nana had milk break. We never had that. Do you remember milk break? Where they used to force old people when they were young to drink milk? Yeah, I remember those days. It was very well. And it was like hot milk. It was always hot from sitting out.

And very occasionally they'd get a flavour of milk. We did that after marching. Yeah. What about in your current life as Jenna? What school did you go to? Can I ask you that? I didn't go to school as a private school girl. Where did you go?

Schooling wasn't around for women when Jenna was being educated. That makes sense. Jenna's hundreds of years old. Jenna's a ghost. So in your current existence as Jenna, you didn't have fruit break either. Is this like a third meal on top of recess and lunch? There was recess. In between recess and lunch, it was like a five-minute fruit break. What did you have't have fruit break either no is this like a third meal on top of recess and lunch there was recess that in between recess and lunch it was like a five minute fruit break what did you have on your fruit break what was your preference you pack it in a little tupperware container one

of the small ones or the little two small ones did your mom tell you it was a good one and not to lose it oh god yeah yeah yeah and then i remember you see she's like you can have the pyrex i'm like yes yeah like your brother lost his yeah he's no longer living with us but it was it was really heavy in my backpack. It was like glass. If you get a mandarin or some cut-up apple, it'll always go brown. Did you leave feedback to mum?

You're like, no apple, it goes brown. I never really enjoyed fruit break. Well, I'm not happy in my marriage, so you can eat your fruit back. Exactly. Yeah, I miss fruit break. We did fruit break and we did reading time after. Oh, everyone did reading time.

That's why we're not illiterate. I hated it. I miss fruit break. We did fruit break and we did reading time after. Oh, everyone did reading time. That's why we're not illiterate. I hated it. I hated reading time. I loved nap time because I could fall asleep. You had nap time as well as fruit break? In primary school. When did you learn? Mary was homeschooled.

I also had a pass card when I was in year 10. I think you had a pass card too. Yeah, I had one of these. Yeah, in year 10 to like year 12 because my dad was sick with cancer and I was also just a monster. So can flash this card and just walk out because they should be having a breakdown somewhere so you would just be like it's a public school they didn't give a fuck where you were really you would just throw that show this card more gonna have matching so we often have meetups and you used to have to have the desk that was right next to the

door so you can make a swift exit i had that too for Crohn's disease They'd be like Oh no questions asked He's probably shitting himself I abused that all the time Yeah yeah yeah You'd be like Okay I'm just gonna go Smoke a joint in the bathroom But like whatever

I'm gonna go get fingered My little sister has the worst story When she was in year two You know how you're asked To go to the bathroom You gotta excuse yourself She asked to go to the bathroom She went came back

She had the worst Diarrhea the poor little thing How old were you in year two You'd have to be like six Or seven And then Miss Quine The bitch Who came out

There's always a Miss Quine Always a Miss Quine And she looked like A female version of Hagrid There's always a Hagrid S teacher And she was just like Rachel you can't go to the toilet You've been twice

No more Like no And my Paula sister Shat her pants And was in a little You know School skirt And then when mum picked her up

Mum's like Why can't I smell Actual little shit Oh she didn't deal with it herself This was at recess She sat in her poo All day Because she was too petrified And mum picked her up, mum's like, why can't I smell actual little shit? Oh, she didn't deal with it herself? This was at recess. She sat in her poo all day because she was too petrified. She's funny. Is she not good at problem solving as an adult either?

She was seven. No, she's fine now. Does she have a boyfriend? I know it's unrelated. But just go commando. I feel like she's someone that's very afraid of anal now as an adult. I mean, aren't we all? She's like, I don't trust my mouth.

I don't trust my mouth. I don't trust my mouth. I don't trust my mouth. In your tuition myself, you can't make me do it. That's something that you'd never forget. That's probably her earliest memory. Yeah, but I feel like she didn't want you to retell it either. I never wet or shat myself at school. No, no, no.

I didn't, no. I've never wet myself. I left period blood in a seat, but that's business. That's showbiz. That's showbiz, baby. It was in cooking class. What baby it was in um cooking class what was that hospitality yeah and obviously i remember it was the same class someone put wood shavings in someone's muffins and got almost expelled for it business anyway and i and i got

up from the seat and my friend was like um who i'm no longer friends with so you'll so it's a war story and she's like um mary like there's blood on that seat. And I was like, oh my God, what dirty bitch was before me? And she was like, no, it's the first period. And I was like... Yeah, it's mine too. And then I was like, oh, okay. And then I had to go up to the teacher and I was like, really embarrassed. And I was like, um, I'm bleeding.

And she was like, okay, on your arm. Like, would you cut yourself? I was like, no, my vagina. I love Leona Lewis too. It's fine. Yeah. And then she was like, okay, no worries. Like, just go get a tampon. And I was like, first of all, I don't insert those in me. I'm like, no, I'm like, vagina. I love Leona Lewis too. It's fine. Yeah, and then she was like, okay, no worries. Just go to the office and get a tampon.

And I was like, first of all, I don't insert those in me. I'm tired. Second of all, you rude lady. I'll be using a nappy. And then I was like, I've left blood on the seat. And like a psychopath, she was like, no worries. Went and just got like a rag, rinse on the tap, went straight to the seat.

Wow. What else would you do? Yeah, why is this? And washed it off. You would just like do it later. What do you reckon? You'd burn the chair? The whole house was like, what are you doing, Mrs. Chapman?

And she was like. What was her name? What was her name? And she was like, I'm washing period body off the seat. Well, she didn't say period body because someone left some blood in the sand. Just wash it off. It was so clear it was me. She could have waited.

Wouldn't that have meant that? I'm suing the school. What, she didn't say period, but someone left some blood in the sand just washed it off. It was so clear it was me. She could have waited. Wouldn't that have meant... What a war story. I'm suing the school. Maybe we should end it there too. Goodness me. It's a good note to end on. This is why I romanticise being pregnant. Or you have a baby and you're like, I don't want to deal with all the other stuff that comes in. You don't get your period when you're pregnant either. It's perfect.

True. I like it. Do you think that was a period rag? Like, she's just... Because that is a common occurrence. That's just the one rag. Oh, she's got, like, a special one. And she makes the jokes. Oh, you're on the rags.

I'll get the rag. And you're like, drop it, Ms. Chapman. She asked the SRC member to get the rag. Stevie, get the rag. Were you an SRC member? Barbara would not go and get a... You were. You so were.

Morgan fucked an SRC member. Did you? In primary school? I wouldn't say the word fucked. Wait, SRC, is that the student? Who? Had phone sex with an SRC member. Was he wearing his badge?

She. She was a lady. Oh! I'm sorry. She was a lady of the committee. I'm sure she was. And she thought he was a man. She was such a lady, she thought I was a threat to their relationship.

Oh my gosh. And I was. All right, well, great having you on again. We're saying a second goodbye. You put up with us for another, what, 25, 30 minutes? Yeah. How drained are you guys? Not at all.

I might pop and get another cup of tea before we go into your podcast. I'd love a coffee. Yeah, I know. We can help with that. We have a coffee machine. I'm not going to be making it. Yeah, I'll make it.

No, thank God. We'll make it for you. Lots of gold digger questions to get through. I put it in order for a coffee. Do you want a coffee machine. I'm not going to be making it. Yeah, I'll make it. No, yeah, thank God. We'll make it for you. Lots of gold digger questions. I put it in order for a coffee. Do you want a coffee, Morgan? No, I need to pee. Otherwise, I'm going to be your sister. I'm shitting myself.

But you're calling it peeing still? You're like, our lady only says pee, but we know what that means. Oh, yuck. The studio just popped over to your radio show backdrop. We've definitely gone on too long. That's literally the sign that's like, you need to stop talking. What time do you come on? I come on at nine o'clock at night.

Yeah. I was like, you've done something. I've only got three hours left. I'm more stressed. All right. We'll see you over at your podcast. Yeah. We'll tag team there.

We've got to change buildings. You've just got to change buildings and run across the road. Totally fine. To OD Tower. Yeah, to the OD Tower. Right near the Bible Study Tower. We're actually in their basement. Yeah, it's so funny. All right. Thank you for coming, guys. The, the OD Tower. The OD Tower. Right near the Bible Study Tower. We're actually in their basement. Yeah, it's so funny.

All right, thank you for coming, guys. The priest things are so funny. Okay, let's go. Before this goes down. See ya. Bye.