Is It Just Me? - #40: Confessions Of A Cum Hater

Episode Date: September 20, 2020

Talkback Tingz returns for our 40th!Also in this episode:Our farewell message for Joe Hildebrand (01:47)Getting jizz in your eye (06:57)Churi wants a stage name (21:09)Talkback Tingz - sitting in silence waiting for a call (26:05)Our "secret segment" ADDebrief (47:53)Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Hello, I'm Tracey Grimshaw. Welcome to A Current Affair. Tonight we're coming to you from my bedroom. Some things make more sense than others. Which Australian gymnast won Commonwealth Games gold in 1990 for his performance on the pommel horse? India. Hey Marcus, grow up.

Brace yourself for observations you didn't ask for. You are a cheap tramp and a filthy liar. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Do you reckon we should include Janet's name in the opener? How about a compromise? We'll say her name, but it's said in Simlish. Brayley!

Drop a newbie. Perfect. Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Oh, happy 40th, guys. Oh, life begins at 40. Doesn't it ever? Here we are. We've got a long lunch with the girls and we'll get some Botox by night.

That's how we spend our 40th here. Hi, Jenna. Hi. I actually do feel like I already live the life of a 40-year-old. Me too. I have real auntie energy. Real lesbian. We both have such auntie energy, don't we?

We do. I'm the lesbian auntie and you're the real feminine auntie. And this whole podcast is just us sitting around the back porch like aunties. Like the end of Kath and Kim when they're on the bucket chairs just having a fag. Jen is that aunt that has property and horses. Yeah, has no partner, just sort of lives with their horses and their animals, has a lot of cats and breeds their own too. Yes. But think about it, what do we do with our days?

Like I'm already living the life of a 40-year-old. Yeah, true, and I wake up at 11am. You watch a lot of daytime TV, don't you? I am so into daytime TV. If I wasn't at work, I would be doing that too. Me too. I'm like, Hayden, do we need a shake weight, babe? Do we need an air fryer that's also a microwave?

Speaking of which, did you hear that our mate Joe Hildebrand left Studio 10? Oh, I did actually. And it was a very emotional goodbye speech. It's a bummer, yeah. So we were on Studio 10 recently and Joe's always been a big supporter so I was sad to see him go. But yes, his goodbye speech, did you notice that he the whole time

was hitting the table? Like he was getting really into it. What was the CEO of 10 underneath it or something that fired him? Why was he hitting it? I know, I think he judged with a hammer. I got the audio. I don't know if he noticed. No, I did give up because it was very long. Well, there you go. It was towards the end. He just started bashing

the table. Listen out. Alright, here it is. Joe and his goodbye speech in studio 10 um and i know how lucky i am and i promise um you know when i do go on to to other things and you'll you'll see that down the track it's not the day to talk about what that is now but um when i do i swear to god i will be sticking up for the little guy um i'll be sticking up for you and i will i will fight to make sure that the poorest people among us, the most disadvantaged, people without homes, people without jobs,

I will make sure that they are always at the front of everything I do and everything I fight for. It sounds like when you bring a bird home from a pet shop in a box and it's hitting the sides. That's terrible. He's quite off-putting towards the end. I get that you're passionate, but it's like every fucking word. Yeah.

Should we call him and do it to him? Let's call him. Let's call him and say, thanks for letting us on Studio 10, Joe. Really appreciate it. No, we've got to get out of this habit of just fucking with people on the phone. Okay, well, he follows me. I also don't have his number. No, but he follows us on Instagram.

Do it. Do it, please. From the personal? From my personal? Or from the couple of Mitch's? Oh, but he follows us on Instagram. Do it. Do it, please. From the personal? From my personal? Or from the couple of Mitch's? Oh, okay. It's actually funny. I'll do it.

Just leave him a voice message. What can you say? I'll say, oh, because he just got a new gig. At the end of that, he's like, I can't really say what's happening with my new gig. But he got a job on 2GB, AM radio. Oh, yeah, I saw that. He signed with 2GB. There we go. Call him and congratulate him on the new gig. but he got a job on 2GB AM radio. Oh, yes. Well, that is fine with 2GB. There we go.

Call him and congratulate him on the new gig. Oh, my God. Voice message, I should say. I also can't wait to ridicule him on Talkback Tings in a couple months when we listen back to his Talkback program. Call me. Talk tonight. Joe, heel to Brandon.

Okay. Here we go. So congratulating him for the gig, 2GB. Okay. Joe, it's Mitch from Mitch and Mitch. We were on Studio 10 a couple weeks ago. In one of your last days, in your heyday, I just wanted to call and say I saw the news

that you got a gig on 2GB. And I am so proud, so excited. And from one radio host to another, I just wanted to say so proud of you. And, you know, if you ever need any tips or advice, I am here. I'm your man. So we love you, and we'll talk to you soon. Okay, mate?

Good luck. And as they say in the biz, hooroo. I'm here too. Oh, Mitch is here too. Love you, Joe. Jenna, one more message to Joe. Hi, Joe. There we go.

Thanks, mate. Talk soon. It's sent. It's sent. Towards the hour, just banging the table go. Thanks, mate. Talk soon. It's sent. It's sent. Talks the hour just banging the table. You're so stupid. Oh, my God. That's so funny.

Anyway, speaking of Talkback Tings, we are reprising one of our most beloved segments this episode. Oh, yes, that's right. It's our segment where we play the weird shit that we hear on Talkback Radio because it's a really different world that I feel like our younger listeners aren't that familiar with. Yeah, well they say, you know, AM Radio is dying, but Mitch and I, if you haven't gathered... So are their listeners.

They literally are dying. Mitch and I are radio obsessed. And Janet too. We all work within the industry. So we love anything radio. So if it's your first time, this is a great segment. That's right. So we'll do that in a little bit later on in the show. Yes, I heard something whack the other night,

so we'll play it to you later on. Also getting some callers on for it too. Very exciting. I love a bit of a call. I love getting some interaction going. It's the interactive edition of Talk Back Things coming up later in the podcast. Lovely.

Also, if it is, again, your first time listening, we start the show the same way every week with an IJM, which again is getting, every three weeks we get someone going, I didn't realise IJM was a made-up word. It stands for Is It Just Me, IJM. It's an acronym for God's sake. And I just coined it one day and that's the basis of the podcast. So it's something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate.

Someone did point out in our Facebook group, they said, I'm still waiting on the boys to talk about something they appreciate. Hey, I remember talking about, I talk about things I appreciate all the time. Remember that time I just said that I love staring at trees? Oh, yeah, true. I said that watching grass grow actually sound like a great way to spend time. I would love, I would kill to have that much time on my hands. Very true.

But anyway, I'm not talking about something I appreciate today, let me assure you. It's actually quite filthy. So if anyone's got kids in the background right now, I would suggest turning off this podcast because it's about to get a little bit rank in here. Put on kids bops. That's it. I don't know what Mitch is about to say.

He doesn't know what I'm about to say. That forms the podcast. Mine is just an observation. This is something I've noticed. And I also, I don't to say. That forms the podcast. Mine is just an observation. This is something I've noticed. And I also, I don't hate it. I actually think I might appreciate it. We'll discuss. We'll discuss.

Why don't you go first because we'll get the vulgarity out of the way. Yes, yes. And then I can dive in. You ready to start? Oh, yes, I am. Here we go. Is it just me or? Have you never had, nor do you ever plan to have, jizz in your eye?

Oh my. Have I? No, I've never had it in my eye and I don't really plan to. Well done. I wouldn't advise it actually because the other day, firstly, I just got some coffee scrub in my eye, which I put on my Instagram asking for people, what's other painful shit you've gotten stuck in your eye? And I'm not even fucking with you.

I got hundreds of responses saying, come. Oh, that's disgusting. Oh God, even that word hits me, doesn't it? Exactly. I didn't actually know that semen stung your eye, but apparently it is like the worst. It's absolutely... I have no idea why. Jenna, firstly, can you Google why the hell does jizz sting your eye so much?

Because it doesn't really seem like a substance that would... It's not like, you know, bleach. No, it's definitely not. I've never had it in the eye, but it could be on. It doesn't really taste the best. Avoid it. You don't like it. No. Mitch is dry retching everyone I don't think I've ever spoken about this but like I hate semen really which is a very it's a very tricky complex to have when you're a big old

queer like me yeah because you would assume that I come into contact with it a lot. No, I avoid that shit. It's our bread and butter. It is absolutely vile. I would just love to live in a world where, much like the female climax. It's internal. It's all in the facial expression. It's in the breath. And you can definitely tell that it's happened.

You can see the release. But it doesn't make a goddamn mess. Have you had a bad experience with it? No, I haven't. I've just, I actually hate it so much. Oh my God. I feel like it's something that everyone just secretly puts up with, but doesn't actually enjoy.

Yeah, well, it's part of life. It's like changing the oil in your car. No one wants to do it, but you have to. Is it? Yeah. But I don't think I do have to. Okay, okay. I found an answer.

Oh, Jenna's got an answer of the chemical makeup. So semen in itself is harmless, but it contains components such as citric acid, fructose, zinc, and enzymes that will irritate your sensitive eye tissue. Oh, wow. So expect redness, stinging, or burning sensation. Oh, of course, it's like putting a soundstrap in your eye. Essentially.

Wow. Okay, so you're well within your right to believe that it's, yeahinging or burning sensation. Oh, of course. It's like putting a soundstrap in your eye. Essentially. Wow. Okay. So you're well within your right to believe that it's, yeah, that would hurt. Yes. And I don't think that is something that people actually want. You know those people that you see in like porn and stuff like that, that are like, oh, I want you to. No, stop it.

I want you to chisel over my face or whatever. I think that it should be treated with the... Actually, hold on. What? Don't tell me you've got a jar. Oh, no. Don't put goggles on, Jenna. I have a bottle of Coke in my backpack right now. Yeah.

I'd like to do a demonstration, if I may. Not on me, you know. I feel like people should treat an ejaculating appendage the same way that you would treat a Coke that's been shaken up. You just hold it away from your face and go, no. So I'm just going to shake the Coke up. Oh, he's shaking the Coke. I don't want to get it all over the studio.

They sound very similar to Coke and, you know, shaking the movie egg. Can you pass me that bin? Yeah, yeah. So I have something to release in. Oh, I feel sick. Can you not? Okay. You're shaking up the classic coke.

Yep. So this is how I feel that people should respond when there is semen being released around their person. Okay. Oh, no. Get it away from me. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, I got a bit over here. Do you know what?

It's even though I pointed it away from me and tried to avoid it, it's still all over me. No. Oh, men are fucked. Men are fucked. Men are disgusting. Oh, it's almost empty. What a big load that coke had.

Anyway, look, like I said, I got a bunch of responses on Instagram from people who had horror stories about getting jizz in their eye. And I've asked a couple of them to come on the podcast today to tell us about it. First up, we've got Erin. She's calling from Brisbane. Hello, welcome to the show.

Hi, Erin. Hello, hello. What side of the fence are you on? Do you hate cum or do you love it? Look, I'm a big fan. I remember I was in high school and everyone was like, oh, yeah, I hate when the guy comes in your mouth. I was like, oh, yeah, same, but I was fully lying.

I absolutely loved it. Oh, my God. Okay, sorry. I'm not going to judge. I'm going to be open to your explanation. What is it about it that you like? Sorry, I'm not going to judge. I'm going to be open to your explanation.

What is it about it that you like? Well, look, I think maybe I really enjoy salt and I feel like there is a salty element to it. Yeah. But, yeah, I think I just enjoy the taste. Sorry. I'm just thinking about the temperature. Oh, yeah, it's real blood temperature. Does the temperature not bother you?

No, it's the reward for the hard work. See, now, yeah, I can kind of see that. Yeah, it's sort of saying, look what I've done. No, I get that. I get the build-up and the reward factor where you're like, yeah, I made you do that. Yeah. Just without the...

Yeah, so big fan, not in the eye. Yes, exactly right. Exactly. So you were one of the people that got it in your eye. Tell us about that. Yeah, I just, I feel like that was an unexpected event. I just thought it was going to be your usual situation. But I think he might have found that that was maybe a turn on for me.

I'm not sure. Yeah, I think it's a common misconception. Guys think that girls actually want that. Yeah, so as a, you know, come lover myself, definitely not on the old face. That'd be a nice tramp stamp for you in the future. Just come lover on the back. That'd be a nice tramp stamp for you in the future. Just cum lover on the back. That'd be beautiful.

And so do you actually look forward to the release? Yeah, it's really funny. I don't know why. I just always have. But yeah, like I said, I remember my friends at school. They were all like, that's so disgusting. I was like, yeah. I'll be honest with you.

No, and like it's a bit gross. But sometimes when there's a lot of volume, it's like I've done well. Because sometimes it can vary. Sometimes it's like, you know, when you go to Coles and the onions are small, you go, that's a bad week. And sometimes you go and they're fucking gigantic. That's sort of how it works with that, right? Sometimes it's like, you're very well hydrated today because there's a lot of volume.

You know what I mean? And then you can give health feedback. Totally, yeah. It's like, babe, maybe cut back on the Barocca and the tzatziki dip because it's very sour. Too much beer this week, love. Exactly, yeah.

Have you had a lemon icy pole? Because I can taste it. Yeah, a little yeasty from the beer. I can taste the hops, babe. I regret bringing this up. Erin, I think better than cum lover, your nickname should become sommelier. I like that. Make it more fancy.

Okay. I'll change my name. All right. Thanks for coming on. Everyone loves what they love, you know. As long as you're happy and it's consensual, enjoy. Exactly. All right.

Thanks for coming on the show. We've got Kate on the line now. Hey, Kate. Hi. Hi, boys. Hi. All right. Thanks for coming on the show. We've got Kate on the line now. Hey, Kate. Hi. Hi, boys. Hi. Hey, Kate. Welcome to the show.

Jenna's here as well. Sorry. Oh, hey, Jenna. Hello. Now, Mitch, Kate was telling me a story on Instagram, and this was the one that horrified me the most. She's a mum with kids and her husband had a bit of an incident, wouldn't you say, Kate?

A little bit. No, what happened? All right. So there was one of two things we discussed, Mitch. First one was quite clearly doing my wifely duties on point and he went to be a gentleman and he got a bit excited and it went in my eye and then she burned like a motherfucker. Oh, hold on.

So he pulled out from just the normal position right down below? Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, he's got a bloody hydroflask for a penis. That's a massive amount of space to get from one point to another. Oh, he's going to surprise. He's 6'6", too. Oh, yeah. See, I'm 6'4".

I know what you're talking about. Wow. So, yeah, so he hasn't been waiting. Oh, yeah. See, I'm 6'4". I know what you're talking about. Wow. So, yeah, so that went in your eye. Yes. So when you're in a situation like that, is it etiquette to, like, be polite and be like, oh, no, it's fine? Or are you like, ah, babe, what the fuck? Yeah.

Yes, the later of the two. Damn straight, I'm like, control your life. Like, sort your shit out. You fucking came in my eye, you fucking six-foot-four Shrek beast. Did it sting for long after? Because you know when there's something in your eye. Yes, it looks like you've got pink eyes. Oh, God.

Well, I think that's what pink eye is, is when you get bodily fluids in there. How long does it stay, like, stinging and red for? Oh, enough to be annoying. Enough to I don't want to be back there again. Oh no, you go out for lunch with your girls and they're like, oh babe you've got some sleep in your eyes. You're like, don't take it! Not sleep!

So are you like me where you think that spoof is just vile and like the worst thing in the world? Okay, look, it is fucking rank. Oh, thank God. I never thought of it. I'm a team player and worst thing in the world okay look it is fucking rank that's just oh thank god yes yeah i never thought of it and i'm a team player and my poor husband prior to meeting me was lived a very sheltered life yeah and so you know he come with a bucket list and i was like well i can be that

because i'm a team player what was on it okay coming in the mouth. Oh! I've never done it before and I was like, look, I'm a team player. I'll give it a go. Yep. Now, have you guys all watched Wolf of Wall Street? Oh, God, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I look like Leonardo on Quaalude. It was not good.

Oh, my God. It was nothing attractive about it at all. Yeah. Did you say that to him? Were you like, bleh? Yes! We were howling. It was nothing attractive about it at all. Did you say that to him? Were you like, Yes! We were howling. It was the funniest. Like, you can't laugh in the bedroom when shit goes wrong, right? I know. You're in the wrong relationship. Yeah.

Yeah, that's actually very true. That's so true. But I've heard people say things like, oh, like, it's just polite to swallow. And I'm like, no, it's not. If I'm the one doing the favour, I will position a bin by my side. You know, I've gone as far to get a

sparkling water ready straight after so I can down it. Like I'm taking tequila shots. I need a lemon wedge on my wrist. No, not this girl. And then I thought, you know, I'll be a team player. Maybe it was just inexperienced. Nemo, early 30s trying for the first time. Went back, tried it again.

Same fucking thing. I'm like, this is very unattractive. How are we still together? This can't be a good look. What else is on the bucket list? I want to know. Oh, stop it. Don't.

What? Is he trying to have a go right now? No, but I tell you what, when I signed up to do this little segment, he goes, well, you better have another go, like third time lucky. It's smart. It's very smart. No, it's a hard no. And I don't even want it anywhere near me.

Me too. It's absolutely vile. Thank God. I'm so glad to hear this. Now, I know that you're a mother. Do you have any daughters? I have a stepdaughter. Okay, so is the stinging of the eye,

is that something that you think you might actually warn her about as she becomes a young woman? No, but I would hands down definitely say to my boys, make sure you're fucking polite. Like, I know what yous are watching. I know what yous have access to. Don't forget that these are mothers, daughters. Like I just think they're being brought up now in an unrealistic environment

where they're going to go out into the world and meet these girls and that's not how girls perform. It's just not how they perform. So, yeah, I'll let her mum do that. That's good parenting though. How many boys did you say you have um so i have three boys and my husband has two boys and a girl so we've got six combined oh that's a lot of come on oh yeah 15 14 13 10 and eight oh and they're all at this sort of age when they're discovering how it all works too. Oh, don't we know the long showers and the washing of the one.

It's fine. We can save you the awkward conversation. When the time comes, just shoot them this podcast. The little one's being banned from this one quite clearly. I'm going to tell them that you had a day off. It's a public holiday next week. Yeah, Mitch and Mitch had some time off. So what, your 8-year-old usually listens?

Yes, yes, usually. We just listen to it on the way to and from school and he just thinks he's hilarious. Oh, my God. He doesn't get over the blinds comment and how mean everybody is to Jenna. What does he say about Jenna? Why did she stay there?

Doesn't she know what bullying is? Oh, no. He's the best. He's so innocent. I love that. I'm a little bit mortified that an eight-year-old listens because, like, I feel like I need to watch my mouth now. Yeah.

No, be you. Be who you are, honestly. He's my responsibility. I control what he listens to and what he can't listen to. Hello, yous have just met me for 10 minutes and come on. I reckon that little 15-second skip button on your buddy podcast app has been used a hell of a lot. Dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump.

Bloody hell. Well, anyway, thank you for listening to our podcast. Thank you for joining us here on the podcast. I love you guys so much. I just discovered you guys this year and I'm like, where have these boys been my whole life? You've like kicked my soul. I love you guys so much. I just discovered you guys this year and I'm like, where have these boys been my whole life? You've like, hit my soul. We love you.

Thank you for listening. It means a lot. And I'll send you out a pair of Zoggs goggles because that could fix all your problems, you know, and it might not be a bad look. It's going to make me wear them and then I'm going to have to think there's a bloody photo. Very true. Very true.

Thanks for coming on. Bye, guys. Bye, Jenna. Bye. See ya. See ya. All right, darling. Bye, guys. Bye, Jenna. Bye. See ya. See ya. All right, darling, what's your Is It Just Me for the week? Let's jump in.

Is it just me or? Do you wish you were one of those people who could use their nickname in their full name? Eh? Like, I'm Mitch Cheery, Mitchell Coombs, Jenna Benson. But then you've got people like Dwayne The Rock Johnson. His nickname is included in his full name. Oh, so it's like they haven't completely abandoned their actual name, but they've also got a stage name. Exactly right.

They're sort of putting it in the full name. Okay, yeah, I know what you mean. No, I've never wished for that. Really? Oh, I think it's so fun. I've never even thought about it. A lot of footballers do it. Like, say your name's like... Oh, I know never wished for that. Really? Oh, I think it's so fun. I've never even thought about it. A lot of footballers do it. Like, say your name's like...

Oh, I know what you mean. Oh, there's James Huddy Hudson. Yes! There's Huddy. Jonathan J.T. Thurston. Jonathan J.T. He's always in little speech bubbles. Yeah, and it's always very much just like a nickname-y version of their last name.

Like, Benji Marshy Marshall. Not necessarily, because even here, where we work at Kids FM, we've got Jackie O. Henderson. They always put the O in italics, non-italic speech bubbles. Or we have John J.C. Caldwell. He was an associate of ours. The initials. And then also Brendan Jonesy Jones.

Oh, from Jonesy and Amanda. Oh, God, everyone in radio has a nickname except you. Yeah, what would mine be? I'm Mitch Turi. Well, your full name's Mitch, except you. Yeah, what would mine be? I'm Mitch Turey. Well, your full name's Mitchell, right? Yeah, yeah. Mitchell. Mitchell Me Me Turey.

You'll take the M-I in Mitchell and then repeat it. Mitchell True True Turey. That's so stupid. What would Jenna's be? Jenna. Well, is Jenna the nickname or is Jenna the full name? Oh, no, Jenna is the nickname. Yeah, yeah.

That is her stage name. Julianne Jenna Benson. Jennifer. Jenna Benson. Yes. Oh, that's the best. But it's not the same. These are very, very close but very different

when people put their actual middle name in the middle, like Sarah Renee Ritter. No, that's not the same. That doesn't need the quote marks because it's just your middle name. Exactly. It's something that is not given to you at birth, but it's something you have inherited. It's a nickname. Yeah, right.

So you'd be Mitchell Coombsy Coombs. That's classic. That's football talk. Would I though? No one calls me that. What do you reckon you'd be? I don't know. I don't really want to have a nickname in my actual name.

No. Whose would some be? Like famous celebrities, like Ellen DeGeneres. Oh. What about, um... Oh, God. Who? What would Ida Buttrose's be? It would have to be Ida Buddy Buttrose.

I was going to make Ida the nickname. She's actually got a full name that we don't know about. Oh, it definitely. Ida Rosa. No. No, it would be Beatrice Ida Buttress. For sure.

What about how they often don't relate to the actual person's name? That's the best. It's like, oh, his name's Mark, but everyone calls him Clem. It's like, why? Or it's something, like, a bit creepy. Like, that's Davo. Oh, but that's davo oh but we call him yeah we got davo slippery ham john why do you call him that you know that my um one of my cousins she's engaged to this guy whose actual name is graham but he insists on being called by his

nickname which is grub and my dad's like, I can't. In fact, I refuse to call a grown man Grub, who I barely know. So dad makes a point of going up to him, shaking his hand and going, G'day, Graham. Grub. That's horrendous. I stand here before you today, Abigail, Grub, to wed you in holy matrimony.

Yeah. That's so fucking funny. But don't you think it's fun? Like those people are always either fun or sex pests. It's always, there's a fine line. I think you either, you own your stage name, like those celebs that use their stage name, like Katy Perry. Yeah.

Or you either own the stage name or you own your real name. You don't do these bloody quotations in the middle. Daffy Quacker's duck. You own your real name. You don't do these bloody quotations in the middle. Daffy Quackers Duck. No, I prefer it the other way around where you, their actual name, we just pretend that's the nickname and we invent their first name. So like, what would, um.

You give me a celebrity and I'll work it out. What would, um. Why can't we think of any celebrities? No, hold on. Nicole Kidman. Oh, that'd be... Nicole-ian. Nicole-ian Nicole Kidman.

Nicole-ian Nicole Kidman. She's like, oh, the US market, they won't get Nicole-ian. Harrietta Harry Styles. Nellie Nile Horan. You're listening to Is It Just Me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. All right, we are currently on Facebook Live as we record. Hi, everyone.

If you don't want to miss the next one, make sure you go follow us at coupleofmitches. Facebook, Instagram and TikTok is where you can find us. Yeah, and we're on live for a reason, Mitch, right? That's right. It's time for everyone's favourite segment. Apparently, it's time for Talk Back Tings. Talk Back Tings is our segment where we play the little bits of gold

that we hear on Talk Back Radio. Yeah, highly requested, too. This has been voted by the idiots the number one segment we do. That's right, our Facebook group. I didn't realise it had been so long since we'd done Talk Back Tings. Was it India? I don't know, actually. Graham? I feel like it was Graham I don't know, actually. Graham?

I feel like it was Graham. It possibly was. But let me tell you, this person we're about to hear from has been on Talk Back Tings before. I think it was back in episode 27. Do you remember Carter Edwards? Oh, how could I forget Carter? He's got a special place in my heart.

So far, every single Talk Back Tings piece of audio that I've played, something whack from Talk Back, has come from the one station, 2SM in Sydney. I don't actually need to go outside of that station because it just delivers so much gold. It's such a random station. You're telling me that they had to withdraw from the ratings because they were rating it such a small percentage? Yes, they were that embarrassed by their poor ratings

that they just tapped out. They were like, we don't want to know. It's fine. They were like, we don't want to know. It's fine. They were like, no, ratings aren't even real anyway. That was their excuse. But really. And they run on the smell of an oily rag. It's literally just an old man, a microphone and a phone.

That's all they do. That's the only resources they have. But they somehow make it work. But I was listening the other night, Carter Edwards late at night on a weekend, and I witnessed the moment that Carter Edwards just gave up. Really? He's been in this game for a long time, been hosting his talkback show for many years, and I just thought this particular night, he was like, I'm over it. I'm over it.

Not his heart. I thought you meant his heart gave out. No, no, no. Nothing like that. You'll know what I mean. But first of all, let's just give you a little taste of what Carter Edwards' radio show is like. Okay. Any topic, any time.

Call 13 12 69. There you go. There it's the truth. Yes. Okay. It's your station. I just push the buttons and give you the chance to have your freedom of speech.

And there's all kinds of things that we'd like to give you a chance to talk about. One thing I want to do, and I want to try and get your opinion on whatever it is that we throw in your direction, because everybody's got a thought on whatever it is that we're talking about. Whoops. Where have I got this happening? A second. Hang on.

Okay. He's not super coherent, you know what I mean? No, everyone's got a thought but him. Yes. So you wouldn't really tune into that show if you're wanting slick, polished radio, like the sort of FM rubbish you have to make. Oh, exactly. He left so many lulls.

I could never do that. Oh, if you think those lulls are bad. So when I listened the other night, I heard him do his thing. He's like, you know, this is the number. Call in. Talk about whatever you want to talk about. And then he just sat and waited for someone to call. On air?

No. He didn't fill the silence. He literally just sat in silence waiting for the phone to ring. But was it a joke? Was he doing it as a bit? No, no, no, no, no, no. Just play the audio. You'll know what I mean.

Oh, my God. Okay. Thank you for your thoughts, Maureen. Okay, bye, mate. Thank you, darling. Bye-bye. Okay, agree or disagree? What are your thoughts, Maureen. Okay, bye, mate. Thank you, darling. Bye-bye. Okay, agree or disagree? What are your thoughts on that one, folks?

Please, give us an idea. Okay, 13, 12, 69. I've got one line waiting for somebody. You'll wait no oh my god wait is this real yeah i'm not going to make you sit through all the silence it went for over three minutes was he in a bad mood i don't know but can i tell you there was actually nothing he could have said in that moment that would have been more engaging to me than that silence. I wouldn't get out of the car. I was sitting there in the car park for over three minutes being like, what's going to happen next?

It was actually so gripping. Yeah, but also my brain goes straight to death. I'm like, has he died? Something has happened in the studio. There's a terrorist ISIS have broken in. Oh my God. His listeners are like, oh, that's just Carter. He must be off doing the wee.

Just Carter being Carter. This is why we love his program. He's nodded off again. But anyway, I'm not going to make you sit through the entire three-minute silence, but this is what happened when he came back on air and finally someone called through. Okay. Got it. Good evening.

Hello. Yes, can you hear me? I can hear you, yes, sir. Thank you. Yeah, I was listening to your conversation earlier. I think it went on from there. It's almost like he was asleep with a newspaper on his head. I know. Oh, hello, yes, hi, I've been waiting.

Can I just ask, Mitchell, as someone who works on air in FM radio, how much trouble would you get in if you did that? Oh, if I say my name, I'm Mitch Till Midnight. I can't even leave a pause between the till and midnight. I'm going to say it all as one word, Mitch Till Midnight. I can't even go Mitch Till and midnight. Fire. Done. Redundant. Very, very fast very fast pace nothing like that talkback shit also my call because i take so many calls every night i can if they're bad i chop them they're done

really oh of course but it's also funnier that way but this way like this is next level well as we've learned they they kind of just let anyone on air on talkback they don't really vet them it's just like whatever someone's. They'll take what they can get. Also, that lady that he let go didn't even know his name. Bye, mate. See you, mate. But anyway, I did feel bad for Carter and the fact that he was just left hanging for three minutes waiting for someone to call.

It's quite sad. And so right now, as we're recording, we are on Facebook Live, TikTok Live and Instagram Live. All of them. Hey, guys. I'm thinking that our listeners, because they're fucking legends, they wouldn't leave us hanging like that. Would they? Oh, no.

Well, you bloody hope not. Absolutely not. And so we've never done this before, but we're going to give out the number of the studio that we record in. Oh, okay. Here at Kiss. And then Jenna, I want you to get a stopwatch out and see how long it takes someone to call because I don't think our listeners would do that to us, leave us hanging for over three minutes.

No, I don't think they would. Although our listeners is that way inclined that they might just do it because they'd like us to be in the awkwardness. If anyone right now is considering doing this is to troll us, I will be furious because like that's going to be so tense. They probably would knowing them. We're also on Facebook Live. There's like a

I tested it earlier. There's a seven second delay. So we're guaranteed at least some silence. Okay. So we're just going to sit here and wait and see how long it takes one of our listeners to call. So Mitch, without further ado, give out the number. All right. I'll be the very best Carter I can be.

Okay. Hold on. Give us a call wherever you are. 13 1065. 13 1065. Waiting for your call. Talk tonight. This is Carter. Hi.

Hi. Who have we got there? Eloise. Eloise. Are you calling Kiss 1065 or are you calling a couple of bitches? I was on TikTok watching your live. Yes. Oh, yeah.

One of my TikTok followers. You legend. Oh, wait. Hold on right there. We've got another one as well. Stay right there. Another call. I'm going to add a second in.

Hold the line. Hold the line. Oh, they've just hung up. That's okay. Eloise, you're back. Hi. Jenna, what was the time? It was 50 seconds.

Thank you, Paul. Suck on that car to Edwards. This is what social media bloody millennial generation can achieve. Although 50 seconds still isn't anything to rave over. I saw people in the comments on my TikTok saying, guys, don't call. And I'm like, you motherfuckers. Yeah, same on Instagram. Eloise, where are you?

In a wind tunnel by the sound of things. Oh. Tunnel. Eloise? She's in a fish tank. Hello? Are you all right? Eloise, where in the world are you?

Sydney. Sydney. Okay, perfect. Eloise, is she okay? Is there a cat on your lap purring? Pardon? Your phone line's shocking, darling. Call us back.

Are you with fucking Labarra or something? Oh, I'm off you. I got a new one. Hi, it's 131065. Who are you calling for? Calling for Mitch. Ah! Amazing.

What's your name? My name's Angela. Angela. Which Mitch? The two of us. Angela's off the line. She's been cut. That's fine.

We've got another one. I'm waiting until we get one from Shuri. Here we go. Hi. No, put it back on. Who are you calling for? Hi, my name's Luke. Who are you calling for? Hi. My name's Luke.

I just thought I'd call off TikTok from Mitch's TikTok. They're all coming from my TikTok. Hi, Luke. What's Mitch's last name? What's his last name, Luke? Mitch Coon. Thank you. Thank you. Hang up on them.

Can somebody call for me? There's another one. There's another one. We're moving on. Hi. Thanks for calling. Oh, they hung up. We're moving on. Hi. Thanks for... Oh, they hung up. Must have been a Gemma fan.

Well, we've got three currently. I'm going to... Who was the first girl again? Eloise? There was Eloise. Her phone line sucked. Eloise is in. I'm also going to add the second one, which I believe was Angela.

You're both on there. Hi, girls. Hi. Hi. Oh, hi, ladies. Thanks so much for calling through. I really thought for a long time there that we were going to have no one. Thank you for calling through.

We do have one more. So I'm getting rid of the one more. There's someone else. Hi. What are you calling for? Hello. Hi. What's your name? Angela.

We already spoke to her. Hi, Angela. Don't hang up on her again. Sorry. So how many people are there on hold right now? There's one more person calling through. Oh, well, okay. Hopefully they're for me.

Leave Angela on. Just put them on the other line. Okay, I'm going to get rid of you. Sorry, the girl in the fish tank. Hi. Who are you calling for? Hi. Hi.

Calling for Kiss FM or the Couple Mitches podcast? Or Jenna. The second one. Oh, hi. Couple Mitches podcast. You sound familiar. Hi. We watched your video of Bodengate in English.

Oh, did you really? Hang on. I need context on this. For what reason was the teacher showing you my old Bowdoin gate video? They were talking about lower to middle class families. Shut up. Yes. Well, for some reason they thought it was really exciting for English

so we could research other areas of Australia. Other cunts. I see. Okay. I mean, it would have made sense in a geography class, but I don't understand English. So what was your name? Sorry.

Mia. Mia. Meet Angela. You're both on the line at the same time, I believe. Hi. Hi. Are you both in Sydney? No, I'm actually in Newcastle.

Oh, okay. Well, they don't have a kiss there, so it's all sorted. All right. I'm going to have to get rid of one. Who are we dropping? Because we have more calls coming through. I vote Angela. You've been on the longest.

You have to say goodbye to Angela. Angela, thank you so much. See you, Angie. Bye, Angela. Bye, Angela. I found the other girls like, bye, Angela. 131065, if you're watching with us, too. Just letting everyone know that I'm here as well.

Fuck off, Jenna. I'm adding them in. Wait there. Here we go. Apparently, the line's busy. That's what I'm adding them in. Wait there. Here we go. Apparently the line's busy. That's what I keep thinking. Hi.

Hi. Who are you calling for? Mitch Coombs. What's your name? Luke. Luke. Is this the one that we answered earlier? No, a different Luke.

Oh, because what happened to the other one? He hung up. He hung up. We got another one. Well, a different Luke. Welcome to the show, no less. Thank God you saved us there. Luke, you stay there. I'm adding someone else in.

Stop. I'm trying to have conversations with these people. We can't not let people through. Hello? Hello? Hello? What's your name? Kate.

Kate. Where are you calling from? Facebook, Instagram, TikTok? Facebook, actually. Yes. We've got one from Facebook. Amazing. Where are you calling from?

Wollongong. Wollongong. I hope you're not talking and driving. Oh, look, it's hands-free. Hands-free. Hands-free. Nice. Okay.

You wouldn't usually allow such a thing on the radio. No, yeah, you'd be cut straight away from my program. I'm not sure about Carter's. You'd probably be left out. How long have you listened to our podcast for? Since the very beginning. Really? Oh, about Carter's. You'd probably be left out. How long have you listened to our podcast for? Since the very beginning. Really? Oh, it's one.

Oh, thank you. I've been to the other one. The Shitty Community. Thank you so much. I'll stop hanging up on them. Thank you for calling through. I appreciate it. It was nice of her to join.

She got cut off because she was going down the Wollongong, the Spit Bridge. Why do you keep cutting off? What about the other ones that were still there? They're all hung up. I want to talk to Luke. Are there more? Talk to Red Bull.

What do you bitches need? There he is. Oh, there. Sorry, Luke. He keeps hanging up on people. I'm going to fucking ban you from that desk if you keep hanging up on my callers. We've got calls coming through. This is how a radio show works, guys.

You've got to get through them. I've never heard a radio show that just answers and then goes, oh, sorry, after two seconds. Next one. Coombsy, I think they're throwing you under the bus, really. They absolutely are, darling. Jesus Christ. Get his number off the air while you're at it. Let's pretend this is a radio show.

What have you called about, Luke? I was just calling for the pop quiz. Oh, okay. Well, I'm sorry. You've missed the cue. That's actually already happened, so you'll have to try again tomorrow, darling. But is there anything on your mind? Three questions for 30K?

No? Okay, he's called the radio show. Yeah, he's definitely a Conjurio fan. Luke, how long have you listened to our podcast for? I actually follow Mitch Coombs on TikTok, and I have never listened to your podcast. Okay. Well, you've got some homework to do, Lukey,

so it's called Is It Just Me? You'll hear yourself next Monday when this episode comes out. Great. Thanks. Just what I've been looking forward to. Don't fucking come here with your sarcasm, darling. Anyway, love you guys. See you on TikTok. Love you guys. Thank you so much.

Alright, bye. Thank you. Bye. Jesus. Can we get someone from Instagram, please? 131065 Instagram. Call through now. Jenna's on what social? Jenna's on LinkedIn Live or something. We've got another one. We've got two. We've got three. Oh, I think we got them.

Okay, here we go. Here we go. Hold on. All right, let's go to call number one. Hello. Hello. What's your name? Where are you from?

I'm Jess. Hi, Jess. What were you watching on? I was on TikTok. Amazing. Thanks for calling through, Jess. You're in Sydney, are you? Yeah, I was your latest video. That was my comment. Oh, you're the one that, Jess. You're in Sydney, are you? Yeah, I was your latest video.

That was my comment. Oh, you're the one that watched my video in class as well, are you? Yes. Can I tell you, you are one of literally hundreds of people that have told me that. Am I in the curriculum or something? Yeah. You must be. We learned it because we're learning about rural places.

Yes, country. Can I ask you, Jess, how did the class react? Were they like, God, this is cringe? Or they were like, okay, we get to watch YouTube. We loved it. We, country. Can I ask you, Jess, how did the class react? Were they like, God, this is cringe? Or were they like, okay, we get to watch YouTube? We loved it. We loved it. And then you showed up on my For You page like a week later and I was like, oh my God, it's mescal. And you were like, oh my God, he's way more foul these

days. Because I didn't swear in that Bogan Gate video. That's the weirdest thing about it. Back in my day, we'd study Romulus, my father and Blade Runner. That's what I did too. Look what these kids get? This is trash. Anyway, thank you for calling, Gabby. I don't remember her name. Her name was Jess.

Jess, Jess, Jess, Jess. Do you listen to the podcast, Jess? Yeah. Good to hear. Amazing. I don't need to bully you into listening then. Thank you, Jess. I'm going to let you go because we have one more.

Thank you, Jess. Okay, bye. Love you. What's your name? What's your suburb? Oh. Are you there? Is this Rachel?

Hi, guys. I love you so much. Thank you. Oh, hi, Rach. What's your suburb? Are you there? Is this Rachel? Hi, guys. I love you so much. Thank you. What are you calling from? What social media did you find us on? Instagram. There we go. We got one on Instagram.

That's all I wanted. How exciting. Thank you. We've done the full sweep. Yeah. Oh, for God's sake. I've just got a notification saying Jenna's gone live. On what?

Her own Instagram. Oh, Jenna's live on Pinterest, I believe. So where are you calling from? Newcastle. Newcastle. Nice. Another Newcastle girl. How are we getting fed to Newcastle and regional students?

Like, what is the algorithm? There you go. Wow. How long have you listened for, Rach? Oh, since the very beginning, guys. Oh, I'm so glad you didn't lose interest along the way. Thank God. So I had to catch up today because I was a bit behind, Since the very beginning, guys. Oh, I'm so glad you didn't lose interest along the way. Thank God.

So I had to catch up today because I was a bit behind, but I've literally listened to the last two episodes today. Really? I couldn't listen to more than one episode in a day, to be honest. Yeah. What's the most amount that you've listened to in one go? I actually, this is really sad, but when I went through Trip to Foster, I went back and re-listened to other old episodes for probably like three hours. Oh my God.

Oh my God. That would have, I would, were you sick of it by the end, surely? No, I've actually interested in my husband to you guys as well. No way. What does he think? Well, you know, he's just a big, burly bloke and I didn't think that he'd be into you guys, but he actually really liked you guys. That's funny.

Yeah, we have broad appeal. I mean, that's why we have Jennifer the tits. I'm just joking. That's why I'm here. The B cup. Well, thank you for listening and thank you for calling. That's alright. I'll get back onto Instagram live and keep watching. Thanks, Rachie. We love you.

See you. Bye. Wow. I feel like this was a success. Why is no one calling for me? I don't think you've explained it to your Instagram followers. Jenna hasn't done the setup. You just went live with no podcast. 10.65 and ask for me. Oh, God. She's live on

Etsy. Well done. I'm very impressed with our followers. Thank you to Instagram. Everyone's saying hi, hi, hi, hi. She's live on Etsy. Well done. I'm very impressed with our followers. Thank you to Instagram. Everyone's saying hi, hi, hi, hi. One, three. I don't like to try and, you know, thrive off validation from other people, but my soul died in those 50 seconds when I thought that no one was going to call. Me too.

Like, my ego was like, bang, took such a hit. Oh, well, how's my ego after everyone, I'm here for Mitchellitchell coombs's video he put on the youtube shut up well i'm on tiktok right now you are on tiktok and i'm on now i'm on a stupid little live we have one more let's end with this come on may as well hi name suburb hi it's holly holly holly from hobart oh didn't we speak to you a while ago? Yes That's right, she's come back Did the red rooster voucher reach you?

It did I haven't been able to use it Oh, you're kidding Well, send it back in, bitch, I'll use it It never occurred to me that there's no red rooster in Tasmania That's bullshit And you can't even leave What a shitty competition we run.

Here's a prize that you can't use. And also, I don't think corona, I'm pretty sure those vouchers expire in December and the borders aren't going to open before then. No, they're not. We really fucked you over, Holly. Sorry. I'm so sorry, Holly.

Shit. Thanks for calling anyway. Appreciate it. All right. Who are you calling for? Which Mitch? Just name a surname. I'm calling for Jenna.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Well done Jenna I'm not ending this Bye Holly Until I get a cheery Hi

Name and suburb They're there Name suburb G'day name and suburb Hey who's calling? Hello? Hello? Hello?

Must be a youth fan. They're not all there. Yes, that's... Finally, I get one. And they're not mentally stable. That's my demographic. All right, we need to get out. And they're not mentally stable. That's my demographic. All right, we need to get out of here.

Thank you, everyone, for calling. What a great fan base I have. Thanks for listening, guys, and thanks to everyone who called in. We should do this more often. We should. All right, well, we'd better get out of here, guys. Thanks so much for listening. We are approaching our one-year anniversary, may I add. I cannot believe that.

I wonder if we should do anything special. What should we do? I don't know. The first year anniversary is always something, and then we just give up after then. So we should celebrate somehow. I personally have never made it to a one-year anniversary, so you tell me.

What did you do? I'm no longer serving relationship. Obviously. Oh, my God. Sorry, it just sort of hit me. Answer the question. Oh, mine was very romantic. I need to know.

It was very, very sexual, if you want to go out there. Oh, okay. Well, let's forget about that. No, I'm just joking. It was a lot of gifts. We went to America. That was our... Oh, my God.

We could do our first ever on-location show. I don't think this is the culture for the climate. Oh, yeah, true. The climate, yeah. The people are dying around the world globally. Okay. Well, I don't know. are dying around the world globally. Okay. Well, I don't know. It's the thought that counts.

Anyway. Wait, why don't we all get each other presents? No bullshit. Why? No. I'm grateful we are. It's your birthday soon. I've already got you a present.

Yeah, apparently it's in the building. Yeah, it is in the building. Anyway, we're meant to be leaving. Yeah, I know. I haven't given you a present yet. More on that in a bit. All right, we'll get out of here. Jenna, it was a pleasure having you.

Thank you to everyone that called. Don't forget to join our Facebook group. It's called Enduring Idiots. Go look us up. Or follow us on TikTok at coupleofmitches. Very true. We will see you next week, guys. Thanks for listening.

Catch you then. Bye-bye. Is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app. Or follow on Spotify. Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment on the end. We keep it a secret because we go rogue.

It's embarrassing. We don't stay on track at all. So if you're hearing this, don't tell anyone. It's a secret segment. It's also a radio first Because we have live tweets activated We've been on a radio show A couple of weeks Oh, it's a podcast first

We're a hybrid, really Oh, we've got another call Hold on, we have one I'll put it through We may as well Yes, please We have the one last call This will be the last one before the lines get cut

And then, yeah, you better close the lines Yeah, okay Hello, what's your name? Where are you calling from? Hi, this is Breeden I'm actually calling from California In the US Oh my god, who are you calling foria in the u.s oh my god who are you

calling for um mitch and mitch and jenna oh my god wait you're calling from the u.s how did you manage that i was on tiktok and i saw your live it's like uh 10 30 p.m oh oh my god did you have to work out the area code and the international country code? I did. I looked up. I was like, what's the Australian international number? I had to look it up. Oh, my God.

Well, it's so good to have you. Oh, my God. That's wild. That's so cool. Oh, I can't believe I actually got on. This is crazy. This is cool. Thanks for going to all that effort.

What was it, Brayden? Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Brayden, do you listen to the podcast or are you just a TikToker? No, I love the podcast. Oh, that's right. How's things over there? Oh, no, you go.

My partner and I, we went to Australia in 2018. We visited Cairns and Sydney. Yeah. And we sort of fell in love with it. Oh, would you ever come back under better circumstances? Exactly. Hopefully. I mean, hopefully we'll be able to get back at some point.

But I'm in uni now for my undergrad. I love that you call it uni. You're an honorary Australian. I know. I figured college isn't the right word because we normally just call it college. Yeah. What are you studying? Music education.

I want to be a music teacher. Oh, that's so cool. I love that. My sister did that. She loves it. So there you go. Yeah. My whole family's in music. Where in California are you? Central California. Not quite LA,

but not quite San Francisco. We're sort of like right in the middle. Sacramento? Sacramento? No, south of that. It's called Bakersfield. You're in Napa. I've seen that in movies Not quite Not quite that bougie Are you near the fires currently Because there's bad wildfires

As you would say We are not But we're sort of like Covered in smoke Like At like noon Outside It's like

Dark Oh god that's what it's like Going to Mitch's house There's smoke everywhere Yeah You walk into his house It it's like, Jesus. It's like a pork smoker. Everything's just smoke everywhere.

Anyway, Brayden, what a pleasure. Thank you so much for listening. Spread it to as many Americans as you can. Let's get the word out there. Oh, I will. I absolutely will. I love you guys. I love you too, Brayden. Thank you for listening. Well, thanks for answering.

That's fine. That delay is very talkback, isn't it? Just to have the pause. It must be. It must be. Yeah. No, it's all good. Thank you for calling, buddy.

We appreciate it. Thank you. We'll see you on the socials. Thanks. Bye-bye. Oh, Brayden. Wait, question about California. What?

Yeah. Sorry. Tattle! He would, Brayden, wait, question about California. What? Yeah. What's that? Sorry. Tattle! He would have got a kick out of it, guy. He would have loved it. He would have loved it. He would have loved that.

Oh, God. He's not in the fires. He's not emotional at the moment. He's fine. People listening for the first time in this episode are going to be like, what the fuck's wrong with you? So many in-jokes. Now, I need to say, no one call because at the time of record,

it's just hit four o'clock. That's when Will and Woody are on. Oh, my God. They're a Kiss radio show and all the calls to 31065, no matter where you are, get diverted to their studio. Oh, I can imagine it. 13. No, the 31065, what's the rarest usher you've got?

Yeah, hi. Call for Mitch, Mitch and Jenna. It's Hannah. No, they'll get the fucking wind tunnel, bitch. It's Hannah. My God. Oh, Brayden just commented on TikTok. I can't believe I just got sorry tunneled.

There you go. It did mean something to him. Oh, we got him. Oh, God. All right. Well, we got to keep ADD brief actually brief this time because that was a long ass show. Yeah, we really did. Getting through those callers.

Goodness me. What a sweet, sweet boy he was. I know. How cute. We've done a lot of shit in this podcast, this episode. I really think we need to just bring it back. And Mitch, you know, actually, for people who listen to the podcast who also watch our Sunday Night Lives, you'll know that I revealed my present to you, Mitchell, for your birthday.

You did? Oh, fuck. It's only like two months late, but that's all right. Oh, when was your birthday? July 25th. Yeah, I'm very sorry. So let's get some happy birthday. Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you. I've got your present here. These are minions? What is this? What is that? I don't know. I'll get rid of it. I got you a gift.

Now, here's the story, actually. I'm going to tell you the story because I want people to know that I ordered well in advance a gift for you for your birthday because I knew you loved Gaga. I mean, don't we all? One, look at him. Chromatica. And Hayden, my partner, was like, I'm going to buy Chromatica merch. Do you want anything?

And I was looking. I'm like, I don't want anything. And then I'm like, oh, my God. The pillow. Perfect for Mitch's house. He loves Gaga. Let's order it together. Hayden was ordering a jockstrap somewhere out of here.

A jockstrap? Yeah, I was very against it, to be honest. Why? I feel like that would serve you as well. Well, I mean, yeah, but he already has two. You don't need a third jockstrap. Oh, okay, you don't mind. It's like a PlayStation.

You just need one. Girl, what a fucking, you're such a, for want of a better word, you're such a dad. We've got one. You don't need to waste money on another. I know, he said that today. He's like, do we need a SodaStream? I'm like, where do we have the space i'm like shit i'd actually love a soda stream why am i saying this anyway so i bought you um the pillow then lady

gaga i don't know the california wildfires or something her factory burnt down or something happened so jayden didn't get the jockstrap either he didn't get the jockstrap what a time um he'll have to use one of the 12 he's got. And I didn't get the pillow for you. And then your birthday hadn't come about and I had to buy you another present. Now here. I have for you, Mitchell. I am quite excited about this because like you said, you did reveal to me what it is. And I'm like, oh, bitch, this could change everything.

I also didn't get to wrap it. So it's in a light and easy styrofoam box. Oh, is that what the hell that was? I thought you were on a diet. Absurd in hindsight. So you haven't said to listeners who don't actually know what it is that weren't watching our Instagram live? Very true. It is

a weighted anxiety blanket. Now, my mother said to me a while ago, I should look into getting you one of those weighted anxiety blankets that you see on the TV. And I had my fingers crossed that she was actually going to get it and then never did. I've just been curious.

I see the ads on Instagram and shit. Me too. I see them all the time. Now, it... Not as heavy as I thought it would be. No, it's based on your weight. Now, I just had to assume. Oh, Jesus.

What did you assume I weighed? Oh, I was generous. I went under. I did 110. Okay. Now, what do you actually think I weighed? Kilos. I think I did 75.

Okay. Is that accurate? I'm 69. Now, what do you actually think I weigh? Kilos. I think I did 75. Okay. Is that accurate? I'm 69. Oh, yay. So this is based on your weight because apparently I was watching YouTube videos. If you get the heavy ones, you can kill yourself. Really? I saw that.

Yeah. Don't sleep with it. You don't need to sleep with them because they crush you. Yeah. And then I wanted to get one for myself. They're like, sorry, we physically can't put that much metal into a blanket. You are that fat. Just lose weight and buy a smaller one. Hang on. Have a look. It's in a beautiful...

How could it kill me? No, that's for your body. But why can't I sleep with it? No, you can sleep with that, but someone who's 40 kilos would die underneath that blanket. Alright, hold on. Let me just... Jenna, let's force an anxiety attack. Okay. I can't do the next episode because it's my grandma's birthday.

Just so you know, the deal with anxiety is that I'm just kind of perpetually anxious. You don't need to, you don't need to force anything. He's constantly anxious. Go on. Okay. It looks nice. All right. Here we go.

It really isn't noticeably heavy. No, but you've got. Like, I feel like, I feel like it is. Yeah. And I just don't notice. But like, after a while, you'll be like, oh, this is quite nice. Let me have a look. Actually, now that I've been sitting with it for a while,

I'm noticing my knees have, like, pressure on them, but it's not, like, a bad pressure. How can I feel? Yeah, I want to feel. Oh, yeah. No, it's weighted, for sure. Doesn't seem COVID safe to me, but sure. Just fucking rip my blanket off me.

Oh, wow. I'm going near your crotch. You can just take it off. You're both molesting me. It's really weird. No, you know what? If you wrap yourself in that on your couch and in bed, I think you'll get the benefits.

Yeah, actually, I actually can't see myself sleeping in this. It's starting to get, I feel like it's getting heavier. Why don't you put it over your shoulders, like Harry Potter and the Invisible Cloak vibe? Okay. Harry Potter fans will love that, won't they? Oh, they will. It's a coral colour.

It's like pink and it's quilted. It's very nice. Oh, that's what you're meant to do. That's what all the women who are crying in the ads do. Oh, yes. I see. They wrap themselves in it. How do you feel?

Fine. It's quite, yeah, it's good. It's meant to simulate, because when you're anxious, apparently if you hug someone and someone's sort of caressing you, saying it's okay, that can bring your anxiety levels down. And this is meant to simulate a warm hug. Right. And so much like it's nice to go to bed snuggling someone,

you don't fucking stay snuggling all night. Yes. So, like, I'm not going to sleep with it. Yeah, but you'll kick it off subconsciously. Gotcha. Yeah, okay. Happy birthday. Thank you.

That's a beautiful gift. Thank you very much. I'll have you know that we bought you that. Jenna, we bought you the Happy birthday. Thank you. That's a beautiful gift. Thank you very much. I'll just have you know that we bought you that. Jenna, we bought you the cookies that said, sorry, you're a killer friend. That was an accident, but there was a printing error. And the taser. And the taser, of course. And my birthday, two weeks' time.

I'll have you know. Oh, I know. I know. I'm prepared. Don't worry. 25th. Big one. I can't wait.

What, are you going to kill me on my birthday? I just feel like it's something that, like, it is me kind of. I don't know if you'll like it. Oh, great. It is kind of me pushing my agenda on you. It's something that I feel that you need. Don't get me a cat. No, I'm not getting you a cat.

If you call me a gym membership, I won't use it. No, I'm not getting you a fucking gym membership. I wouldn't waste my money. It's a dumbbell. If you got me a yoga mat at home. No, no, I'm not getting you a cat. If you've got me a gym membership, I won't use it. No, I'm not getting you a fucking gym membership. I wouldn't waste my money. It's a dumbbell. If you got me a yoga mat at home. No, no, I didn't. It's going to be some sort of Pilates thing, isn't it? No, it's not.

It's going to be Pilates. I've got you a stretch belt. What's a stretch belt? Oh, those idiots have got the big piece of, like, silicon in their bedroom. Oh, yeah, I've got four of those. I'm sure you do. Yeah. I don't need one.

Like I said, I can't even fit a Sothe Street on my benchtop in the kitchen, let alone a stretchy strap. Are you regretting the size of the house you've moved into? It's just small. It's just small for the shit that I want. I want everything. Like today, PlayStation 5 dropped. I pre-ordered it. I don't need it.

I want it. I just want everything. The new Apple Watch came out two days ago. I bought one. I have an Apple Watch. Why? Because I want the new one. Can I have your old one?

Sold it already, $700, marked up. Oh, wow. Yeah, I made a great deal. That's impressive. Moral of the story is I hope you don't get me a cat origin membership. No, I won't. I just don't understand Apple Watches because I think I've said this before, but you of all people are the hardest to get a hold of.

And so, like, you're literally wearing your notifications around your wrist you've got no excuse i'm actively avoiding you though that's i know that's the thing it's like it's embarrassing because now i know that at least you can like you've been robbed of that old excuse of oh sorry i left my phone in my room on charge yeah but also like i just say it's dead it's oh it's got the worst battery life what the watch yeah all the time it doesn't have great there goes life. There goes your Apple brand membership. Your brand deal with Apple. I wish. It's the worst battery.

Someone I follow has got a brand deal with Apple. I'm like, how the fuck did you get this? I didn't think Apple did them. Yeah, I won't tell you. Did I tell you? You know how I've joined an agency? Yes. Influencer agency.

Jack Frost Management. No. What's it called again? The Arctic. Below zero or something. It's the Arctic. Did I tell you who my first brand deal's with? Oh, my God, who?

And I'm thrilled about it because I don't even have to pretend to like the product. Dusk candles. I already use the product. Really? Red Rooster. Anal beads. No. Oh.

I don't actually. I've never used anal beads. No, but I've actually been interested recently. Sorry. I've seen what TikTok wanted to buy. Write that down, Jenna. Birthday in two weeks. No, please don't buy me anal beads.

My first brand deal is with Tinder. Oh, how ironic. No. What do you mean ironic? What's the campaign? Let's get people that don't have success on the app to film videos. Excuse the fuck you. You've been the first to say you don't do well on Tinder.

No, I've done very well on Tinder. I've met a lot of people on Tinder I just end up, like, for one reason or another Like you would when you're dating in the real world And not on a dating app Things just don't work out True, also you've given me your phone I've sent them voice recordings of coughs

That was Grindr Yeah, that was Grindr What do you have to do? What's the campaign? You fucking mentioned Arrival When we were talking about my Tinder deal Oh yeah, hey, it's not my brand deal It's alright, Jack Frost won't get mad at me Every single time So what do you have to do what's the campaign you fucking mentioned arrival when we're talking oh yeah hey it's not my brand deal it's all right jack frost don't get mad at me single time what so what do you have to do for tinder oh just a couple of tiktok things and stories and stuff but yeah

i already used the app i actually have it did you know that tinder is um there's a website like tinder.com and there's a button on there called i knew this before the fucking brand deal by the way like i'm i'm flogging this free of charge don't send me the brief i'm across it go on there right now you've got a desktop in front of you tinder.com you'll have to log in i don't have an account oh fuck me just come around to my side oh no log in with phone number what's your phone number m Mitch? No, just come around here. I don't want to get up. All right, so I'm on tinder.com, right? Oh, here's Tintin. And here I am just swiping away, being a thirsty bitch.

And then the boss comes and you're like, oh, fuck, you press work mode and it turns it into a spreadsheet. Oh, my God. That's so cool. It just instantly, you press work mode and it just turns the button into a spreadsheet. So it looks like you're working on important shit. And then you just be like going back to being a filthy whore.

Oh my God. That is so funny. He super liked you. Oh, hello. Oh, the boss is here. Work mode. Go back to Jared. No, we're not doing, no.

Please let me talk to Jared. No, no. He's got a cat on his shoulder for God's sake. Unfriend him. A match made in heaven. Anyway, yeah. Tinder.com. Work mode. Very, he's got a cat on his shoulder for God's sake. No. Unfriend him. A match made in heaven. Anyway, yeah, Tinder.com, work mode. Very, very useful. What if you went to Gloria Jean's?

They're like, Cassidy, is that creme brulee latte ready? Why are you on a spreadsheet? You're making coffee. We don't have meetings. Yeah, we don't have meetings. You're 17. But I feel like she'd just be on her phone on the normal Tinder app. Yeah, for sure.

Is that on the app too or just desktop? No, just the desktop version because that's where you'd be probably looking at meeting notes. Well, T's and C's apply, guys. Interesting. Well, congratulations on the brand deal. Well, thanks. I'm proud of you.

Thanks. If it's anything like my brand deal, it'll go up in flames and you'll be almost sued by a massive corporation. Almost sued? Yeah, well, Vision Personal Training weren't happy about the whole F45 thing. Oh, that's right. You mentioned. No, it wasn't F45.

It was Plus Fitness. Yeah. Because you were talking about me. Yeah, I was. I cost you your brand deal. No, and I also mentioned F45 previously because I had a warning. That's why they cut me. What is wrong with you?

I had a warning. It's not. It's just. I don't want to go into it. What about the Emirates had a warning. That's why they cut me. What is wrong with you? I had a warning. It's not. It's just. I don't want to go into it. What about the Emirates and Etihad? That's a different thing. No, we can't go into that. No one cares about that.

Oh, my God. We just got one. Who is it? I just realised the button was off. So we've been getting them for the last couple of months. Live tweet. Emiratiano. She's yelling about something.

I don't even want to read it. Can you believe? She's lovely. Another one. Tinder. don't even want to read. Can you believe? She's lovely. Another one. Tinder. Can't wait to work with at Mitch. Oh, they tagged the wrong Mitch. I'll take it, guys.

My first tweet will be, I can't wait. I'm so proud to have joined at Hinge. Oh, shit. Well, it's a shame because you can't really advertise Tinder because you're in a relationship. But having said that, you're a Tinder success story. True. You stalked the perimeter of his university, furiously swiping, hoping to find him because you were that obsessed with him.

I racked up $1,900 in toll fees driving under the Harbour Bridge trying to fucking get him on Tinder. This is where Sydney is. No, just under the water. I didn't realise. Brought to you by Tinder. Don't swipe and drive. Exactly right.

Although it worked for you, didn't it? It did work for me. It really did work for me. Tinder actually gave us our first conversation ever. There you go. And now two years later, happy as ever. You've got nothing left to say. No, very true.

We fired up a side of streams. Anyway. Well, congratulations. I'm glad Jack Frost is getting your work. What's the Jack Frost thing? I don't get it. Is there a joke I'm supposed to understand here? Yeah, because Arctic.

Arctic, just frozen. Oh. But it's Arctic with a K as in tick-tock, tick. Oh, Arctic. Fucking moron. Oh, my God. Okay, now it makes sense. I'll have to work out some watch jokes.

Oh, how's Mr. Rolex? Grandfather clock. Oh, my God. Guess who that is? Who? Kanye West. He's Grandfather clock. Oh, my God. Guess who that is? Who? Kanye West. He's on a rant. Again.

Yeah. It's got nothing to do with us. It just came through a wrong server, apparently. Can we WD-40 that fucking mic arm of yours? Yeah, please. The squeak is getting to become a real problem. Can you just move around your mic? Yeah, I've got a Glen 20.

That'll work. The Glen 20 is not going to help. Just move around the mic. Oh. Sounds like a witchy poo. Ready? Can you just move around your mic? Yeah, I've got a Glen 20. The Glen 20 is not going to help. Just move around the mic. Sounds like a witchy poo, ready? You know what that sounds eerily similar to? I'll just move my mic. All right.

Hold on, I'm just opening the lines now in case we get one. Oh, now? You've left it this long? I thought we should just in case. Anyone there? No, no one's there. No one's there. We've taken like 14 phone calls this episode. Close the lights.

What's that? Someone's on the phone. When it's your turn to do an old-timey narration, there are a few things that all boys and girls should consider. Oh, I remember that ad. Anyway, we should get out of here. We should. Happy birthday again.

I'm sorry it took so long. No, not at all. And please report back on how it goes. And don't put on Isabella. The poor thing will die. True. She'll be crushed. Imagine if you're out.

She goes, oh, a nice little blanket in my house. And walks up and goes, oh, I'm going to curl myself up in it. And curls up in it. Dead. Oh. Why does it always come back to animal cruelty with you? Dying animal. It's been six weeks without an animal cruelty reference.

It's like a fucking boomerang. Oh, back again. I threw it out. Very true. It just keeps coming back. It comes back. All right, we're back next week, episode 41. There was an eagle.

It's a window's open. Shut the window, Jenna. Shut the window. Because nighttime here in Australia. It's nighttime. Turn it off. Cicadas. C the window. Because it's night time here in Australia. It's night time. Turn it off. Cicadas. Cicadas, because it's night time.

Anyway. Sorry. Oh, gosh. Anyhow. Been a pleasure. Episode, what episode? Next week? Can you count?

Yeah. What one are we in now? 40. So next week will be 41. No. Yeah. Obviously not. Back next week.

That's all I need to say. Yeah. Looking forward to it. Don't forget Sunday night Instagram live. Correct. Also, leave us a goddamn review, please. We said this last week and we got a couple more, but we need to get to 200 reviews. We have actually been getting a couple more.

It's been a while since we've read them out, so maybe next week is the week. Yeah. Go leave it now if you want to get a shout out on next week's podcast, guys. Exactly right. We'll talk to you in a bit, okay? All right. Can't wait. See you soon.

Bye-bye. See you. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye.