Is It Just Me? - #53: Jenna in a Coffin

Episode Date: December 21, 2020

OUR LAST EPISODE OF 2020!! 🎉🎄Here's what we got up to...Christmas presentsss (05:06) Jenna gets in her coffin (10:28)Mitchell's 2020 mantra (13:43)Dot Wiggins returns (17:00)Reading out this week's reviews (25:04)TikTok school (28:50) Coming clean about our experiment (41:26)The 'Viagra Update' we've been waiting for (51:54)Our "Secret Segment" ADDebrief (57:04)Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Hello, I'm Tracey Grimshaw. Welcome to A Current Affair. Tonight, we're coming to you from my bedroom. Some things make more sense than others. Which Australian gymnast won Commodore Games gold in 1990 for his performance on the pommel horse? India. Hey, Marcus, grow up.

Brace yourself for observations you didn't ask for. You are a cheap tramp and a filthy liar. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Do you reckon we should include Janet's name in the opener? How about a compromise? We'll say her name, but it's said in Simlish. Brayley!

Drop a newbie. Perfect. Now here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coon. Yes, for the final time in 2020. I know. Hi, guys. Welcome. Hello.

I'm a bit sad about this. Me too, actually. Are you? No. You're looking forward to a break, aren't you? I am so in need of a rest. I just want to nap and eat and just watch The Mandalorian and not have to worry about anything.

Yeah, that'll be good. Jenna's here. Hi, Jenna. Hi. Our third wheel, of course she's here. I'm here. It's a big show for Jenna. First, though, I think we should address it, is our Christmas episode.

It is. I've decked the place out. There's tinsel. Looking all Christmassy in studio. Not that anyone listening can see that. No, Jenna, don't stand up too quick. You'll get a bobble to the face. Like I'm taking.

The studio is beautiful. The screens are nice. We're all feeling festive. And you know what our tradition has become every time we have just something slightly celebratory on this podcast. Excuse me, I'm going to reach into my bag. Why are you standing up? I love this episode. It's always so much fun. What is this? It's going to be a loose

one. I can feel it. What is it? Ta-da! Sparkling rose, eh? I'm a bit scared. Can you open it? Yeah, of course. Here you go. Delta Goodrum and I were in here getting drunk last week. Just the theme of the year. I've got some glasses over here, so make sure

you guys polish off your wine because you're going to need those glasses again later on. Oh, why? Because I'm doing TikTok school with you. Oh, yeah. So, obviously we're heading on holidays and usually when I'm bored if I'm not creating a podcast, I just find something else to create. Oh, yeah. So obviously we're heading on holidays. And usually when I'm bored, if I'm not creating a podcast, I just find something else to create. I end up making a lot of boring, embarrassing TikToks.

So I'm going to teach you some things. So hopefully you get on board too. I feel like you've got to get on board the TikTok train. Yeah, you've been nagging me. Jenna every day is like, oh, film a TikTok. You should do this. Sends me them. You'd be great at this trend.

He's just too lazy to actually do it. They're always doing a back arch or a dance or a flip. I just don't have the vertebrae to do that. We'll wait till later in the show. TikTok school is going to be fun. Okay. I'm excited for that. Merry Christmas. We're also going to be revealing our experiment that we've been doing on you.

Yes, you, dear listener. You little mice. On this very show. We've been conducting an experiment on you guys listening. Yeah, you, Cathy. For the last, how long? Like, what? Three weeks? Three or four weeks. So a month or so. Yeah. Some people have cottoned on, but not the majority.

Well, that's, yeah, we've ended the experiment once people figured it out, but it took them longer than I would have liked. So, I'll reveal the results later on and explain everything, but just put it this way, I'm not impressed. Not happy with the results at all. Very disappointed in our listeners. Cover your eyes.

Oh, God. Oh. Okay, God. Merry Christmas. Oh, Merry Christmas. Here's your glass. Pass me the glasses. Here.

Thank you. One of them's chipped. I'll drink that back. Oh, no. Pour on the side. I've got a whole bloody day of work ahead of me. I've got to drive a vehicle. Now, who wants to go first with the gift exchanging?

Oh, now this has become a bit of a tradition. It has. I started it last year. I gave Jenna Sylvia the beloved fish. Oh, yeah. By the way, Jenna, about that, we did ask your mum permission to get you another pet and she said absolutely not. So we would have loved, we were going to get you a budgie.

We were going to get you a pet budgie. It was going to be in a brown box with holes in it. And I was going to pass it over to you. And you would have loved it. But your mum said no. She also said something else that was very interesting to me. Do you want to read out the message? Oh, yeah. Is this about Sylvia?

Yeah. Yeah, Jenna. She said, look, Mitchell, Jenna is an animal lover. You know how devastated she was when that fish died? Died. It was two weeks ago. That's very sad. And you've neglected to tell us.

Yes. Jenna, we would have done an extra episode. No, because I'm just very depressed about it. Well, Sylvia might not have gotten the dignified send-off that she deserved. She did. But Jenna's got a funeral today. She does. Do you guys remember recently that we were talking about places we could send Jenna as a roving reporter, and as a joke,

we said, oh, let's make her do a show from her coffin, and she was down. No, she jumped at the offer. This is a classic case of an inside joke gone too far. Even I myself don't fully back the idea, even though there's a coffin behind me in studio right now. It's actually happening. No, it's fine, guys.

Putting Jenna in her coffin. Should I do the gifts first? Yeah, it feels a bit... Well, put Jenna in the coffin. She can get a gift in the coffin. She needs something. Nah, I better give it to her here. Can I get the gift before the coffin? Yeah. Alright, coffin's on hold back to Christmas. Jeez, the diversity and range of this show.

I know. I think we've brushed over the death of Sylvia, the show pet, too quickly, but let's address that in 2021. Okay, let's do presents. One issue. I left mine at home. Oh. In the rush of

picking up the coffin, I accidentally left them under the tree. So you'll have to get them probably next year. Oh, that's bullshit. You don't have a gift. Well, I don't think we should even dedicate time on the show to a gift exchange if it's not going both ways. If I'm getting mine in private, so are you. No, you've got it there.

I can see it. Just do it. Yeah, I do have it here, but you're not getting it. I picked up the coffin. That was my gift to the show. It took me two hours. Guys, there was a morgue in there. It's a funeral home.

I walked in. I was like, oh, you've got your oven on. Oh, no, that's a fridge full of corpses. Yeah, where did you think you were going? I thought maybe they just stocked coffins. We do have to, sorry, this feels very off, but we do have to fulfil our end of the bargain. We said that in exchange for loaning us the coffin for the day,

we'd give their business a plug. So if you or anyone you know is preparing for death, Caring Funerals in five-doc service all over the Sydney area. They provide expert levels of care. To ensure this difficult time is as painless as possible for everyone involved, head to caringfunerals.com.au or call 97131555 for inquiries. Adam and Carla.

Thanks, Caring Funerals. Very, very, very helpful. And that went above and beyond. I have to say thank you so much to them. Beautiful coffin. It was beautiful. Before we chuck her in the coffin, she'll be there the rest of the show. I may as well give you your gifts.

I'm furious. I'm furious that I didn't get one. You have one. It's sitting under my tree. I have you two gifts from two different shops. That's yours. Thank you. I was thinking I could give Jenna her gift but not yours as payback,

but they're the same thing. So you would then know what your gift is. This is very heavy. Look. Yay. You can almost feel that. What is this? Look at me, empty handed.

No. You've got the gifts. You've got the coffee. Oh, do you, Jenna? Yes. Bless you. Aren't you good? Before I open this, we'll get presents for both of you.

I look like a right royal tight ass. You do, yeah. I do have gifts. You look like a real prick of a thing. Yeah. Merry Christmas. She's got bags. Thanks, Jenna.

There you go. Jenna. Wait, does that say your name on it? Yes. It's the same name. No, no, no. Swap. Actually, it's the same girl we're supposed to know.

Does that have your name on it? Yes, it does. It says Mitch. This one says Mitchell. But they're the exact same thing, so it didn't really matter. Let's open Mitch's first. Oh, you've already looked in. What do you want to do?

This is all over the shop. Let's do Jenna's. That's fine. It's the final show of the year. All right, we'll open Jenna's present. It's in a nice blue bag. Oh, cute. A framed photo.

Very presumptuous that I would want to display that in my home. She's given us a bag of Starbucks house blend coffee. Nice. No, no, no, no. Haven't you been to reception in the Kiss building yet? This was leftover stock from the WSFM roadies. What are you talking about? They gave these out as gifts to the street team and she's just got one from reception.

She didn't pay for this. That was just the extra thing, okay? So you just threw this in because you found it at reception? Yeah, because it's a nice thing. Starbucks. What a scab. Oh, look at all the stuff I bought. Jen, he drove so far for your coffin.

He didn't get anything else. The coffin. Okay, so the other thing is, are you dumber than a box of rocks? Trivia race. Oh. What? Yeah, just a fun trivia game. You really know me.

Yep. Are you dumber than a box of rocks? How does it work? I don't know. It says you draw a card, pick a category, shake the box and open the top. Who is the correct answer? You or the rocks? Well, thank you, Jenna.

Thank you, Jenna. It's very thoughtful. I'm glad when you saw dumb rocks, you thought of us. Yes, I did. That's flattering. I did. Thank you. Mitchell, I'll open yours now.

Yep. Which is very... Is yours heavy, Jenna?. That's flattering. I did. Thank you. Mitchell, I'll open yours now. Yep. Which is very... Is yours heavy, Jenna? Yeah. Aren't they the same thing? Let's open. Yeah. I'm excited.

Oh, he's actually thought about it. Oh, I love... Oh, lavender iris. Oh, my goodness. Yay! You know how I swear by my lavender eye pillow? I'm always having naps with that little purple thing across my eyes. Oh, my gosh. Yay! You know how I swear by my lavender eye pillow. I'm always having naps with that little purple thing across my eyes. Oh, I really love it.

Well, I got in touch with Rustic Lavender Farm, who do orders over Facebook. They've got a Facebook store, and I got you guys some. There's a little sleep balm with it, too, and a candle. Did you not pay for this? Was this contract? No, it wasn't contract. Oh, you said I got in touch, and then there was a credit line. Well, no, I got in touch with them because I had to buy it on their store.

Help soothe sore puffy eyes. Yes. Computer strain. I've always wanted one of these. Before you put it on, you have to crush it in your hand to make the lavender. Oh, release the essential oils. Now give it a whiff. I love it so much.

Oh. Wow. Oh, my God. It's like I'm in a glasshouseiff. I love it so much. Oh. Wow. Oh, my God. It's like I'm in a glasshouse store. Isn't it? And I guess by the time you fall asleep, it can slide off because you're asleep. It doesn't matter. Yeah, exactly.

That's what I do. Oh, my God. It's very pungent. Has yours lost any of the lavender smell? No. They told me it'll last years and years. Now, what's wrapped in this little plastic? Is it a gram of cocaine?

No, that's the sleep balm. Sleep balm. Didn't you read it? I've called it my nap pack. I put a little explanation. Did you make this note? Yes. This is lovely.

From Rustique Lavender Farm in Book Book. Mitchell, that is absolutely lovely. Oh, I've always wanted one of these. You'll love it. I know that you're heading off on holiday, so you're going to want to squeeze in as much sleeping as you can. We definitely are. Thank you.

Thank you. You're welcome. All right, Jenna, let's put you in the coffin now. Yeah, enough of this crappy, buddy, whimsical shit. This is her gift. All right. Jenna? Do you want me to help you in?

Yeah. Yeah, that'd be great. Thank you. So I've taken my shoes off as well. Yeah, that's probably appropriate. We've propped her up in the corner of the room. There's a GoPro in there, so she will be on camera. We'll have footage on the socials.

Yes, so at couple of Mitch's is where you can check us out. Jenna's going to be in the coffin for the rest of the room. There's a GoPro in there, so she will be on camera. We'll have footage on the socials. Yes, so at couple of Mitch's is where you can check us out. Jenna's going to be in the coffin for the rest of the show unless she taps out. Are you going to tap out? Of course not. It's like fear factor. Not. Let's go. So I've already unscrewed the top, Mitch.

So you just have to pry it off. Alright, I'm closing it. Oh! Where's my microphone? Oh, she needs her mic. Give her her mic. So Mitch is closing it now. There's an LED light. Is this ethical? Oh, now you bring that up.

Test the mic. I've gone off the idea long ago. I just thought you guys were into it. I think this is so fucked. We've committed now. I assumed we wouldn't actually do it. Thank you, Caring Funerals. All right, here's your mic.

Pop her in. Let's test it. Here we go. Hold on. The door is closing. There we are. Oh, Mitch, hold on. I forgot.

You need this. Just four corners, top and bottom. No, you do that, Pip. Okay, sure. I'm no handyman. All right, Jenna, just tap out. It'll take 14 to 20 minutes to get you out. Okay.

In case of emergency. Wow. It's a bit tight. There you go. Can you breathe in there? Yeah, I can breathe. Oh, good. How does she sound?

Do a mic test quickly. Hello. Go, Jenna. Can you hear me? It actually sounds quite good. Yeah, it's like an audio. You've hit the padding, Jenna. Oh, sorry.

Thank you to Caring Funerals again for this beautiful. You can find them on Facebook as well. Vintage coffin. All right. Should we get rid of the organ? This feels very off. I really like that song. Oh, you've heard it before?

This was played at my first funeral. Oh, of course. Oh, right. It was a live recording. Jenna's lived multiple lives, of course. This was at the War of Pocahontas. Oh, no wonder she's so willing. She's been buried many times.

Yeah. Jenna, this is just like going to sleep for you. It's just another day. Is it comfy? Yeah. It's very comfy. Okay. Nice and supportive.

So thank you to Caring Funerals. No worries. Is this the nicest coffin you've ever had? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. The last one was just a cardboard box. Yeah. You pushed down the Nile River alongside Moses, weren't you?

Oh, yes. That was the second. Yeah. Then it disintegrated into the Red Sea. Yeah, that was annoying. This is actual balsa wood. I like it. It's beautiful.

My conscience is telling me that this is just so wrong. Jenna, what do you see right now? Nothing. Nothing? Just some wood? Anyway, she wanted to do it. Yep. It's on her.

Why not? Let's start the show. We do it the same way every week. And this is the last one for 2020, so they better be bloody good. The Is It Just Me's, the Ijjums, it's something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know his.

We're going in blind. And I think for the end of the year, we'll do classics. Mitch, you start and then I'll go. Sure. Okay. Here we go. Is it just me or... Do you get nothing unless you ask for it?

Oh, put that on a T-shirt. That's just been my big life lesson of 2020. Out of everything that's happened, I've realised, screw sitting around waiting for opportunities to fall in your lap. Yep. The worst that happens when you ask is that they say no, but surprisingly often they say yes. Say the expression again.

Do you get nothing unless you ask for it? Yeah, I like that. Because this podcast has grown in a lot of ways that, you know, we're thrilled about. Yeah, many. Like all these awesome opportunities that have happened, but like we didn't just sit around twiddling our thumbs waiting for those opportunities to come to us. No, the head of iHeartRadio didn't waltz in here mid-record and go, boys, like, we didn't just sit around twiddling our thumbs waiting for those opportunities to come to us.

No, the head of iHeartRadio didn't waltz in here mid-record and go, boys, I've got you a contract! I'm a girl. Sorry, sorry. You're not in the room. I forget you're in the coffin. So, remember Studio 10? You said, on a whim, let's try and get on TV.

I tweeted them. Yeah. It happened. The next week. It wouldn't have happened a few days later. Yeah, exactly. Less than a week. True.

Remember our goal was to get in the local paper? Yep. We just called them and asked. We got in the local paper. Done, exactly. Less than a week. True. Remember our goal was to get in the local paper? Yep. We just called them and asked. We got in the local paper. Done. Literally. Screw sitting around sulking, being like, oh, why don't these things come happen my way? Just ask for it. 100%. Just ask for it. Even me working with the Arctic, you know,

the social media agency I've been doing for a week. Jack Frost, yes, of course. Do you think they approached me? No. No, I said to them, hey, you know, branded content is something that I think I'm ready to dabble in. Is that something that you feel like you could help me with? Do you want to work together? And they were like, sure, bub, whatever. Oh, my God, that's crazy.

I know. And you mentioned us signing this podcast to iHeartRadio. Yeah. Oh, it got to a point where you were like, Mitch, they're not going to sign us. They're just not. Because I'd been harassing them, like workplace appropriate harassment. Yeah, yeah, the right kind of harassment. Going into the boss's office.

Oi! Are you going to sign us yet? It took me a long time to get them over the line and you doubting us was the extra push I needed to make it happen. Well, we got there in the end. We did. We did. You've also been on quite a few dates this year.

You've asked for those, right? Oh, I get asked as well. Depends. Yeah, true, actually. But, you know, one of the guys in the office, he gave me a very good piece of advice. I'm not going to reveal all my cards, but this little tip I'll give because it seems to work more often than not.

If you want something, if you're trying to pitch something, it's easier for people to say no than yes. So phrase it so that the answer you get is no. So, for example, I don't know, I might have said to the boss here, hey, I'd really like us to be signed with the iHeart Podcast Network. Does that sound impossible? He'd be like, no, it's not impossible. Yes.

And then it gets them thinking about it. Rather than you saying, oh, we'd like to sign with iHeart. Can we? And they go, it's easier to say no. So they probably just go, nah. Do you get nervous just to ask or no? Is it something that you've just developed? Oh, like I've gotten, you know, I've got social anxiety, obviously,

but it's something that over time it's gotten easier because I've done it quite a few times. Yeah, right, right, right. But yeah, it's like we always say, you've got to hustle. You've got to hustle. You've got to hustle. Oh, well, a nice New Year's resolution for the show. Well done.

It's more a reflection than a resolution, but there you go. That's my bit of advice to you all. Don't just sit around waiting for people to offer you shit. Make shit happen yourself. That's something you've noticed, something you hate or appreciate. That's a double. That's a notice and appreciate. Look at us go.

Ready for mine? Absolutely. What have you got? Let's go. Is it just me or? Does Mrs. Claus not get enough credit? Yes. Okay.

What makes you say that, Jenna? This is my point. Jenna. But she seemed really passionate. Yeah, Jenna. Why do you agree with that? Because Santa gets all the praise and all the recognition. And it's probably Mrs. Claus doing most of the hard lifting.

Yeah. Most relationships, there's probably a. Claus doing most of the hard lifting. Yeah, like most relationships, there's probably a great woman behind this straight man who gets all the glory. Absolutely. He's in all the chimneys. He's in all the inflatables and the front lawns. He's in the lights. I went Christmas shopping and Hayden went, oh, we have a gay house. Let's get Mrs. Claus.

We love women. There was no statue of Mrs. Claus anywhere. No baubles of Mrs. Claus. And you don't hear people saying, oh, let's get a photo with Mrs. Claus. Mrs. Claus. No one wants a photo with Mrs. Claus. And she's at the North Pole. She's probably managing the entire group of elves.

I'm sure she does all of their superannuation, organises their tax returns. She's very on it. And Santa gets all the glory. The other thing is, I don't know what that Mrs. Claus statue would look like because Santa is very, you know, carbon copy. Everyone knows what Santa looks like. But Mrs. Claus can vary. She can would look like because Santa is very, you know, carbon copy. Everyone knows what Santa looks like. Yeah.

Mrs. Claus can vary. She can either look like this withered old thing. Yes. Or she can be like a slut, like a Halloween Mrs. Claus costume. Yeah, like a naughty nurse vibe. Yes. Yeah. And that's what pisses me off.

The other day we went to, we were at Westfield shopping in the city. There was a massive line for the Santa photos. And I'm like, well, where's Mrs. Claus photos? True. You know, I'm not the only one who's mad about this. Right. Dot Wiggins is furious. Yes!

She's very mad. Don't tell me that shit when I'm taking a speak of mind. Dot Wiggins, your alter ego. Dot Wiggins, yeah, my alter ego. I actually brought her here today. She's furious, is she? Let me get her. She's very mad.

She's actually the one that messaged me in very, very strung out text. You can't text. It's terrible. She said, I've noticed, and then three enters, and then sent that, and then another text. Mrs. Claus. It was horrendous. Full of emojis.

I've actually got her. I'm going to go grab her and bring her in. Oh, my God. Oh, God. We've gotten to this point, have we, where he's not acknowledging that it's him. He's pretending it's a different person. Hi, Dot. That's Jenna. She's in a. He's pretending it's a different person. Hello. Hi, Dot.

Help! That's Jenna. She's in a coffin right now. It's a whole thing. Yeah, you really had to be there kind of thing. That reminds me of the funeral of my husband, Francis. Oh, really? When were you widowed, Dot?

33 years ago to the day. To the day? To the day. Shit. What a coincidence. It's almost unbelievable. Choked on a carrot. Oh, that sucks. That'll get you.

Yeah, I had my concerns. He was potentially a gay man, but he was doing more with that carrot when he choked on it. I saw my chair. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Dot's chair just buckled under her weight. You're tearing me. Anyway, Dot, why are you here?

That lavender I can smell, that's glorious. Oh, my dear. I was at the Westfield Centre last week. No Mrs Claus, and I think it's absolutely appalling. So I got the number for Centre Management for the Westfield Shopping Centre in the mall, and I would like to call Centre Management and I'd like to offer my services as Mrs Claus for 2020.

Oh, you think you've got the acting chops to be Mrs Claus, do you? Yes. Do you think people are going to line up for photos with you? They'll see me walking down the hall and they'll pay double the money and I won't take any of the salary. I don't need the money. I'm very well off. When Francis passed, I got some big inheritance. He invented craisins, you see.

What the hell's a craisin? It's like a dried cranberry. Pardon me, so sorry. Dear me. Mitchell, can you dial this into the phone box design? No, that sounds like a you thing, Dot. Well, Mitchell's coming back. You all right, Dot? Yes, I need the...

I'll do it for you. Hold on. Sorry, guys. Watch out, Dot. Oh, you smell nice. Thank you, darling. Okay, I'll just dial the number in. You ready for Christmas?

Yeah, I am. How's your mother? She's fine. Yeah. Oh, I got the runs again. I'm going to go. I'm dialing it for you, Dot. No worries.

Thank you, darling. You're such a lovely boy, isn't he? Worried about his weight, though. I can't believe these weirdos I work with. I've got Mitchell talking to himself and Jenna in a fucking coffin over my shoulder. Who? You know, it's really sad, but I'm the most normal one in the room. All right, I'm calling Westfield Miranda.

Welcome to Westfield Miranda. It's a young man. Hello, darling. Money. Press one. For trading hours, press two. For customer service, press three. Who?

I think that's what you want. The valet and the hand-free shopping. Customer service, 3. Press 3. Western Miranda. Good evening. My name's Dot Wiggins. How are you?

Good, thanks. How can I help you today? Very, very briefly. I just thought I'd give you a quick little buzz. Christmas, yes? Yeah, sure. I've noticed you're doing the Santa photos. You can get a photo with Santa Claus in the middle of the centre, yes? Yeah, sure I've noticed you're doing the Santa photos You can get a photo with Santa Claus in the middle of the centre, yes?

Yes, yes Don't you... What's your name, son? Pardon? What's your name, son? My name's James James, do you not think it's a travesty That Mrs Claus isn't shown anywhere in the mall? Yeah, it's a bit of a shame

You agree with me, see? Is there anything else we can help you with today? Who? Is there anything else we can help you with today? Sorry, darling. James, I used to study back when NIDA was first installed in 1880. And I would love to offer my services as Mrs. Claus to the Westfield Miranda service. Sure.

Could I get your contact number then? Yes, of course. Okay, so can I get your number? You have a quill? Yes. Oh, this is my grandson. He told me to do plus, plus symbol. Yes. Six, four, sixty-six, the number?

Six, four, six, six. No, six, six, yes, the number? 6, 4, 6, 6. No, 6, 6, yes, then 4? Yes. 6? Yep. 8? Mm-hmm. 8?

Yep. 8? Yep. Who? 2? No, who? Who's that in the background? Oh, there's just lots of people around.

It's very busy today. Oh, you're making me very in the background? Oh, there's just lots of people around. It's very busy today. Oh, you're going to be very loud, James. Two? Yep. Seven. Is that it? Repeat it out for me. Was that 646-888-27?

Two, three, yes. Correct, James. And can I get your name again, thank you? Yes, so it's Dot Wiggins. D-O-T Wiggins. Thank you. Would you like to hear... I can give you a little bit of my Mrs. Claus if you prefer.

That's okay, thank you. I'll pass this on to management. Santa! Sway is broken, dear. Rudolph has the runs. The elves are asleep I'm making her very damsel in distress Aren't I?

I should make her more empowered Santa! The dinner is ready I think I've got the job, James Well, I'll pass you on to management Please do Thank you Thank you, James

Bye, have a wonderful day Have a great Christmas Merry Christmas, darling Merry Christmas to you too Goodbye, James Goodbye See you guys. What's the job?

Whose number did you give him? God knows who. Oh, okay. I was like, am I going to have to beep that later when I edit this podcast? I need to go. I need to check my blood sugar. Merry Christmas. I'm so happy.

Mitchell is working with two beautiful young women. Thank you. Thank you, Josh. They are both so lovely and I hope he picks one of you as his bride. One can only hope, Dot. You in particular with the beautiful hair. Very masculine.

Features down the bottom. Five o'clock shadow. The girl in the coffin I keep forgetting. Goodbye. I need another wine after that. Jesus, where's the fucking sparkling rose How'd she go did she get the job Um

It's one of those things where they're like I will get back to you Oh yeah we'll contact you don't contact us Kind of vibe I think they'd prefer not to be contacted by her again Yes I couldn't agree more Is it just me You can follow the show online. Just search Couple of Mitches.

If you don't, you're a dickhead. Yes, this is the part of the show where you can be featured on the show. If you leave us a review on the Apple Podcast app, we'll read it out, and then you get sent a special edition. Oh, sorry, we're doing Red Rooster vouchers now, aren't we? We're on back order in the mugs. Yes, I've sent some to your house, by the way. Have you really?

Yeah, I ordered them, but to your address. Do I have to transfer you some cash? Please do, yes, yes, ideally. What about the special edition gift that I... Oh, Jenna has signed a whole bunch, and so if you have... Of what? Of the mugs. She signed them.

I thought we gave them away ages ago. God, no, no, no, no, no. You'll be... If your review's read out, you'll get something. But also, if you don't use the Apple Podcasts app, you can follow us on Spotify or hit follow on the iHeartRadio app. Yes, you can. Keely Poole has done just that.

She says, my favourite podcast. Hey, I just wanted to say how much I love this podcast. You guys are so hilarious. I've been binge listening every day before work. I just want to add a special thank you both for following my Lady Gaga fan page. Oh, yes. I got a follow from a Lady Gaga fan account who has heaps of followers and I was like

who is this? So I followed it back because I already follow a lot of Gaga fan accounts and they were like, you're Mitchell Coombs, I love your podcast and I was like, you're a Lady Gaga fan account, I love you. See, I followed her because I saw you follow her and get a mention in the podcast so I wanted the extra follower. So then she's like, Mitch Turi also followed me. She had no idea who I was, but she was very sweet.

So thank you, Keeley Poole. You are getting a mug or a red rooster, whatever comes in the mail. It's like a little potluck. Emhart1997 says, always a laugh. Yeah, couldn't agree more. Thank you. Thanks very much. What was the name again?

Oh, let's go back to that. Emhart1997. Then we have Tanika Doctor. So maybe she's a doctor. So it just goes to show that the lowest common denominator aren't listening to this show. It's the smartest in the world. I feel like after a long day of being very intelligent

and very vital to society, people need to switch off their brain and that's when they turn to either the Kardashians or us, where no thoughts are required. Tanika says, Endure an Idiot's. Look, it took me a while to figure out how to write a review. I live, breathe and die for this podcast. Sit back and listen to the soothing voices of Mitch Turi, Mitchell Coombs, Doc Wiggins and Jen Nae Benson.

Funny. You won't regret it. That is, that's the review. Listen to Is It Just Me on the podcast app or wherever you get your podcasts. Great. In joke. Reference. Very impressed.

Well done, guys. Now, when we get back, we do hope to have A whole bunch of Fresh reviews to Read out Of course So don't forget to leave And while we're gone So I'm a little bit Concerned about this

Because Mitch has Stepped up And he's now our Acting assistant deputy Sales manager In charge of Campaigns and activations For Is It Just Me

So he looks after All the prizing and stuff And apparently He's gone into deficit We're now in a mugged debt Yeah we are. You've promised it to too many people, which is why I ordered new ones.

What's the go? How many do we have? How many do we owe? I need to fess up. I'm really nervous. I've got three mugs left, but I think I've committed nine. You told me that I needed three more.

More people are messaging. I just forget how many we read out. The problem is... But I thought that there was a one week limit. Now that's where I think the issue is. I don't have the heart to say no to people. So people who are three weeks late on the podcast go, hi, you read my review out in 1967.

And I go, oh, well, I have to send them something. So we need to make it. No, it has to be the one-week limit. I think you've got to be a tough bitch about it. All right. You have a week, guys, to contact us. And if you don't contact me in the week, you don't get the prize. So those reviews we just read out.

Tanika. Hit us up. Yep. Sorry, at Mitch Chury on Instagram. Hit him up. Just me. And organise it. I'll send him up.

And then we're going to get a bunch of fresh mugs next year with our new artwork and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our season three cover. Also, merch might be coming soon. So we might be able to add some extra stuff in. The ball is rolling. Don't you worry. 2021 is going to be huge. All right, let's move on soon, so we might be able to add some extra stuff in. The ball is rolling, don't you worry. 2021 is going to be huge.

All right, let's move on. What do we have? Oh, it's time for TikTok school, Dallin. TikTok school is where I challenge you to do a bunch of things that I've seen on the internet, TikTok in particular, because I've always said to you, Mitch, if you weren't so lazy, you could be a TikTok star. Yeah, you do say that quite often. Honestly, if you just could be bothered, you would go viral like that. Yeah. And often when we go on a break, which we're about to,

this is our last episode for the year, I get so bored without a podcast to create that I end up just creating, I need something else to create. Yeah, often your best content comes in this break with your family, you've done the Christmas ones. Yes, so I end up making lots of TikToks and I don't want to be the only one because right now it's just me. Yeah, you see what I did there?

Yeah, it was very funny. So today Jenna and I have found a bunch of TikTok challenges that we want you to attempt to give you some inspiration and see if you can perhaps make this a hobby of yours. Jenna's in a coffin right now. Hi. Jenna, can you knock on the wall or something? It's an audio medium.

People just think you're in a plastic bag. Yes, we granted her her wish. She wanted to do a show from a coffin, so we made it happen. Thank you to Caring Funerals. I'm going to have to be the one that actually does these challenges. That's okay. That's fine. What's the first one?

I'm excited. The first one, I've got three for you today. The first one was started by a chick called Maury McFly, where she was talking without opening her mouth. So she was showing off her hidden talent. Yeah. And I reckon you'll be able to do it too. So take a listen to her attempt.

All right. Okay. Daddy, daddy, I'm stuck in a closet. I can't get out. Daddy, stop. See, she has all the seashells. There's no child stuck anywhere, right? No, so her lips never, ever open. So it's kind of like, but I can't do it very well.

She can really enunciate each word. I think I can do this. Go on, give it a crack. You have to film yourself. That's the idea. Oh, shit. On TikTok? Nah, just film it on your normal phone.

All right. And do I have to do a setup? Hey, everyone. No, it's not a radio show. No, you just start. Okay. Wait. Here we go.

So I had to film. Okay, here we go. Daddy, daddy, I'm stuck in a hole and I can't get out. Oh, my God. I'm brilliant at this. That's so good. Hold on. Do it again, but turn your mic a well and I can't get out. Oh, my God, I'm brilliant at this. That's so good. Hold on, do it again, but turn your mic up a bit louder. Yeah, okay.

Daddy, daddy, I'm stuck in a well and I can't get out. Oh, my God. Wow. Seashells, seashells, by the seashells. Holy shit, that is one of the weirdest things I've ever witnessed. Sorry, I had some farting right there. He's not. What else?

What is it just me? You can't do P's. I need a sentence without any plosives. To be honest, that's what I thought Jenna was going to sound like in the coffin, but the acoustics are quite good. No, that's what we expected. Okay, so why don't you say, it's something we've noticed, it's something we hate or appreciate.

It's something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. That is terrifying. I sound like a Disney cartoon character. You look like a frog. Do I? Like your neck fat definitely does a bit of a ribbit sort of thing. Oh no, I got a lot of that. When you have to do that.

I don't like the air coming through. I wonder if I can... Block your nose. Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. through. I wonder if I can... Block your nose. Oh my god. Wow! You sound like a frog. Like an animated dog. Do you know what it sounds like? It sounds like I'm standing, I'm lining up out the front of a nightclub and I can hear the muffled music

inside. Oh yeah, okay. Sing something. Um. thing um that's good terrifying wow all right you succeeded with that one well i will be a viral star i'll send you that video can you send it to the actor you can get me the cash is that how it works you just text it to him and go you have a good track record of making shit viral so let's baby step okay all right fair enough this next one have a good track record of making shit viral, so let's baby step that one. Okay, all right, fair enough. This next one is a cake cutting hack that's gone viral.

So instead of cutting it into slices, people just scoop up a piece of cake with a wine glass. How do you mean? This is a good one. So the cake just gets left with this round portion cut out of it, kind of like a cookie cutter. So rather than slicing it, you, kind of like a cookie cutter. Oh, so it's... So rather than slicing it... Yeah. You just kind of scoop it up. And then I guess you can sort of just give everyone their own cups

and they eat it out of the cup. Correct. So I'm going to have to polish off these wines of mine and Jenna's because we need empty cups. Have you finished yours? No, almost there. Oh, God. I'm going to be so drunk.

Yeah, we have work to... Oh, he's just downed it. Oh, dear darling. You'll be in the bloody coffin before we know it. We have audio right for this challenge? No, no. Oh. This, dear, darling. You'll be in the buddy coffin before we know it. We have audio right for this challenge? No, no. This one's very visual, so a couple of inches is where you can find it. I'm going to stand up.

We're going to film the whole thing. Make sure you film on your phone in one hand. Yep. Because that's how all the other videos look. Okay. All right, here's your cake. Wow. So it's just a classic Woolies.

No, Coles. Coles mud cake. Oh, it smells. I'm going to give you mine and Jenna's cup so you can do ours too. Do you want to film? Hold on, let me peel off the paper shit. The brown paper, yeah. Jenna, give us an update.

How are you doing in there? Good. Knock on wood. Is it getting hot and stuffy in there? Oh, you know, it's okay. Is it padded, Jenna? Are you leaning on a side or are your arms crossed like you're a corpse? No, they were crossed, but now they're just down by my side.

Fair enough. But it's got a nice pillow. Make sure you don't dig the chipped glass into the cake. I don't want shards all through the cake. All right, you film there. All right. So I don't need to go. I don't need to say anything.

There's no set up! I'm not even joking. I'm wired to do it. All right. So I've got the cake in front of me, everyone. I'm not even joking. I'm wired to do it. All right. So I'm going to, I've got the cake in front of me, everyone. I've got one glass. And I'm going to shakunk it like that. Like a cookie cutter.

All right. And I'm going to do one, two, three. Yep. All right. Let me get ready. TikTok music. Yeah, there's only for the podcasters. Ready?

Are we ready? Yeah. Three, two, one, let's go Oh, it really worked Oh, it worked Oh, it's a bit messy One I wish I could see it

Oh, that's a dirty rim Mitch has been told that before Whoa Hi Two I'm very responsible Oh, it's kind of working Oh, there's a bit of rosé on this mud

Okay, well if we had more than Ta-da Wow And so they say that that's the perfect portion Really? Oh, there's a bit of rosé on this mud. Okay, well, if we had more than... Ta-da! Wow! And so they say that that's the perfect portion. Really? Yeah, that's what all the videos are saying. And to be honest, I think they're right.

Did a fat person say that? Wow, I think that's a success. Yeah, if only we had more cups, because you're meant to do it until the cake's finished. Oh, I can eat it really quickly if you really want to. I want this big one. Jenna? Yeah? Do you want some cake in your coffin?

Is this a show? It's screwed shut. So you have to unscrew it. Just drill it in. Oh, that's beautiful. So that one was another success. That was my favourite hack. Okay.

So. Yeah. The last TikTok challenge I want to get you to do. Yeah. It's called, hey, quick question. It was started by a guy called Steven Glansberg. Thanks, Steven. His TikTok username is hypocriticalanus.

Oh. Yeah. Creative. Let's not dwell on that. How it works is you call someone and you basically just keep fumbling on your words and never get to the point. You just keep going. And then see how long it takes the person on the phone to crack. Take a listen.

Okay, here we go. What's up? Hey, quick question. Yep. Hey, so I was thinking with, you know, we're kind of looking at, you know, with, you know, if you remember dating back, you know, with a couple, there was at one point at least.

And I've never really – at least I've never – there's – I guess when I really sit down and think about it with Easter and everything, there's no – I've never, I don't know. Why are you doing this? Oh, this is just meant for me. Isn't it, Jaz? Yeah. So back in episode 51, you might recall that you called mine and Jenna's boss. No. The head of the digital department.

Yeah. And so I'm thinking, just to make it even, you call the big boss, DB. No. The head of PIS. No, I'm not doing that. Yes, you are. Oh, hello. I'm the one that said, don't you dare call my boss, Kieran.

That's inappropriate. And now here we are in the same scenario and you're going, no. Yeah, but this is the big boss of the radio station. And? I couldn't. I'm too nervous. It's not anyone but him. Oh, I knew he would stumble at the last hurdle, Jenna. Anyone. He's had such

a great succession rate in TikTok school but no. But he's going to know it's coming off your phone. I'll turn the caller ID off. But then he won't know. I'll say, hey, it's Mitch. He's the boss. He has to answer. Here you go. DB, the big boss of Kiss Do it

I'd rather you do it Off your phone though So he knows it's you calling Shit where is it Over here How did it get over here You filmed with it Oh my god

Your phone is so disgusting It's got greasy fingerprints All over it Yeah it's because I was perspiring At the funeral home Very anxious Oh dearie me I don't think I can Yes you can Sparring at the funeral home. Very anxious. Oh, dearie me.

I don't think I can. Yes, you can. I believe in you. Me too. This is a lot. Oh, shit. I've never seen Mitch this nervous before. He's my boss.

He's given me the radio show. He's not going to take it off you after a prank call. Yeah, imagine that. He's literally, he's Kyle and Jackie O's boss. He understands that sometimes you have to fuck around a bit to make good content. Mitch, you made a viral video, mate. You're fired. Imagine. Let's ring.

So this is the Hey Quick Question Challenge started by Hypocritical Anus on TikTok. Here we are. All right. On speakerphone, right? Hold it up. And I've got to start with Hey Quick Question. Yeah. on speakerphone right hold it up and i gotta start with hey quick question yeah yes hey quick question um i'm just wondering um if you have been across the with the quick

turnaround that we were given um the the time frame between well i don't know if kathy's told you or not but between the left and the right and I don't really know how to say it, but no one really knows where to go, left or right. And if you are okay with everything that happened at brunch on Friday, I'm okay to sort of make it confirmed to go ahead, if you know what I mean. But I understand if you don't, because last time you didn't, it was like, whoa, where do we even go from here? But I think we just continue from here but i think we

just continue moving forward with everything that we have in front of us what are you talking about yeah yeah yeah yeah so i think if we just go north and then around i reckon we'll get to the campsite pretty much on time and then we'll just sort of hang for a bit if you're okay with everything i'm sort of putting forward but all good if i'm thinking you're not sort of ready you know yeah yeah yeah okay cool all right well uh i'll put it i'll put it all forward and then uh and i'll put it in writing and then if you want it digitally i can get it there and then we'll just yeah i look forward to reading it let's put it in writing so then i can sign off on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

Just like you signed off on it. It was last month, I think, the sign-off happened for the original file, which I don't believe I got a hold of, which sort of came to Susie then to me and it bounced around for a bit, similar to what happened in Europe back in 07. But, yeah, I'm all good if you're all good. Yeah, I'm not good and I won't comment.

I'm filming a TikTok. I got you. Are you drunk, DB? No. You're in the pool, aren't you? You bored, are you, mate? You don't have enough work? No, you call your boss and then you ramble

and you don't actually get to the point. It's meant to be very funny. This will go viral. Righto, mate. Whatever. All right. Bye, Deeps. Bye.

Thanks, DB. Wow, he was fine. I told you. He figured out what was going on. He's like, this is content. He started rolling with it. How was the rambling? Was it all right?

Did I pass? Yeah, it made zero sense, which is exactly what we're aiming for. Oh, I love TikTok school. You nailed it. When's lunch? All right, if you guys want to send us any TikTok challenges you want Mitch to do in the new year, add a couple of Mitches on TikTok. That's us. Make sure you tag us in anything you reckon Mitch should attempt.

That was fun. Are we ready to sort of reveal how we've been punking our listeners for the last month or so? I'm as ready as I'll ever be, to be honest. Here we go. All right, guys, we're coming clean. Without even knowing, you, dear listener, have been part of an experiment of ours the last month or so. Like rats in a lab.

So during our show intro, the intro music, Mitch has been inserting a little noise. It started with a yawn yeah can you play that for us Mitch people do some weird shit hello I'm Tracy Grimshaw

welcome to A Current Affair tonight we're coming to you from my bedroom I'm yawning you idiots so you didn't realise your microphone was on at that point

no that was a mistake I could have edited it out, but I said to you, I'm going to leave it in and see if anyone says anything. Yeah. Much to my surprise, no one said a word. Not one person. And that's when I said to you, shit, do you think that people are fast forwarding through our opener?

The thing that we spend arguably the most time on. Oh, my God. You guys should have seen it. It was Mitch and I crowded around this audio production booth. This 18-year-old staff worker at Kizzee. I was there as well. Yes, Jenna was there. Chris, we were standing around his desk in the audio production booth.

It was like we'd recorded a sick freestyle rap. We were like, quick, change this, add that, put a reverb on the laugh, and then Jenna in Simlish. Yes, we were all so into it. And we were all gesticulating wildly. Like the passion was very clear in the body language. We were like, Chris. It's like a room full of me's.

Very excited. A lot of yelling and hand gestures. And we crafted it to our perfection. And I thought, surely our listeners aren't fast forwarding through our opener. No. Also, something we change every season. There's new grabs and sound effects every season we do. And it goes for around 45 seconds,

which means it's pretty easy to fast forward through. One and a half skips. Exactly. So, that's when we decided, after no one pointed out the yawning, we were going to throw in a few more noises as the weeks went on and see how long it took people to notice. So, the following week, you

sneezed during the opener. Which Australian gymnast won Commodore Games gold in 1990 for his performance on the pommel horse? India. Hey, Marcus, grow up. Brace yourself. Yuck. Yuck.

How did people, how did you not hear that? No one said a word. And I'm like, how long can we push it? I wonder if we have any Uber drivers listening that heard that, listening in the podcast and going, oh, someone in the back just sneezed. Disgusting. Yes, yuck. I agree.

The next one we did with a nose blow. Oh, this was so obvious. This was gross. How did we not get any messages after we put this in the open? His performance on the pommel horse. India. Marcus, grow up. Brace yourself for observations you didn't ask for.

Where's the bin? Where's the bin? So I think that was the point where we did get a couple of messages. And I was like, okay. So people have noticed. But it's really disappointing to me that it took that long. Because it's made me confront a reality that i didn't want to face which is that our opener is not ideal in the podcast world they say the recommendations from the so-called experts

are you have to get the show name the host names the episode number and the topic you'll be discussing out oh in the first 30 seconds so. So that's like what they recommend when you start a podcast. Yes, that's a guide to the ideal podcast opener. But we're radio nerds. Yeah. So we wanted the big dramatic build up with all the sound effects and the glitches and all that stuff. So we just really indulged in the opener.

We did. But the thing is, I love our opener. I think it's brilliant. I love it too, Mitchell. is i love our opener i think it's brilliant i love it too mitchell but you just can't you can't stare in the face of evidence and choose to ignore it so the fact that we've caught our listeners red-handed skipping our beautiful opener yeah suggest to me that perhaps we need to shake it up and do the boring way because they don't appreciate our creativity no and they don't give a fuck and No. They don't give a fuck.

And if you guys don't want to enjoy what we've put hours and blood and sweat and tears into, we'll give you the classic way if that's what you want. Yes. So this is another round of Jenna Decides, in fact. Jenna Decides. Yep. She's currently in a coffin. Knock on the wood.

Oh. There we go. There's a lot of movement going. Are you itching somewhere or what's happening? No, it Knock on the wood. Oh. There we go. There's a lot of movement going. Are you itching somewhere or what's happening? No, it's all the padding. Oh. So we've done this a few times. We've left it up to Jenna to make vital decisions that we're torn on because I think we need

to ditch our opener. Well, you know, if people are skipping it, we definitely need to shake things up. If they couldn't be fucked even listening to our beautiful creation, then why bother? We should do it the traditional way. You wouldn't skip the intro to The Simpsons. No, as if you would. As if it's the best part.

The most insulting thing is that podcast apps don't even do that automatic skip intro thing like Netflix. So they're going out of their way. Oh, yeah. That's a great point. That's probably what's to come. But I've cross-checked the recommendations of the ideal podcast opener. Yeah.

And I've done up a script, Mitchell. Here you go. Okay. This is what we should be doing. Thanks. Oh, wow. There's lines and everything. So.

Your screenplay. Grab the theme music. And this is what our podcast opener will sound like as of season three, if Jenna decides that this is the smart way to go. So we have to announce what the topic will be. We don't know what that will be. Oh, okay. For next season. Our first episode back.

Just make some shit up. Oh, right. That's your line. Quantum physics. Okay, sure. You can say whatever you like. Yeah. Right.

This is what it'll sound like. You can say whatever you like. Yeah. Right. This is what it'll sound like. Hello and welcome to episode 54 of Is It Just Me? A podcast about the rude shocks of young adulthood. I'm Mitchell Coombs.

And I'm Mitchell Turi. This week we'll be discussing quantum sciences. Before we get started, make sure you subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app. Let's kick off the same way we do every week, with one Is It Just Me? Each. It's something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Are you ready, Mitch? I most certainly am ready, Mitch. Hey, guys.

Welcome to the show. How's everyone doing? Jenna's here. Hi, Jenna. Hi. See? Jesus Christ, I feel sick. That's boring.

That's horrendous. That's some Better Homes and Gardens bullshit. That is the most disgusting thing. We can't ignore the feedback. Our listeners themselves have ignored the carry-on and the sniffles and the sneezes. They just don't, they haven't even noticed. I was searching for a bin for fuck's sake, you pigs. But maybe they just love that.

Maybe they heard those little bits in between and they went, that's what makes this podcast great. And maybe they didn't question it. Or maybe they're nice enough. You know when you listen to a friend's project and you think, and there's a mistake or it's terrible, and you go, oh, I won't tell them about that. You watch your friend's short film and you think, this is a shithouse.

Hey, I'm in Tropfest this year and I wrote and directed and filmed. And you watch it and you go, maybe I should have let one of those jobs go. And you go, this is great. And you don't let them know that you can see the cable in the corner and the lighting's terrible. Yeah, you never tell your friend that you just made a short film. It's quite clearly daytime when you film this and you've just turned the brightness down to make them think it's night.

Yeah. We're not stupid, darling. Yeah. Or they're pretending they're here in Hawaii, but they're quite clearly at Manly Beach. We're trapped on the beach. Now I can see the Bondi lifeguards filming in the background. I can see Hoppo.

I can see Lara Bingle filming a biopic. What is that? What is the noise? Is there a rat scuttling around in Jenna's coffin? Jenna, what's in the back there? It's the padding here. Why is it moving? I don't know. Jenna, oh my God. Imagine if someone, of course, fell out of the in Jenna's coffin. Jenna, what's in the back there? It's the padding here. Why is it moving? I don't know.

Jenna, oh my God, imagine if someone, of course, fell out of the back of the coffin. Or they forgot to pull a hand out. Someone who was in a tragic hand incident. Anyway, Jenna decides. Yeah, it's up to you, Jenna. Do we be self-indulgent and roll with our obnoxious opener that clearly no one gives a fuck about?

Yep. That Mitch has put... And you know what? I will say this. We've already chosen the grabs to go in for next year. Oh, my word. We shortlist them as soon as the new one's done. Oh, I hear a grab and we're through.

Micro-Wave was in, now it's out. That's how quick we decide on new grabs. Jenna, it's up to you deciding. The boring way or our way? Okay, well, we do have to consider what our listeners want. The data's there. They skip it. Jenna?

No, I couldn't. No, we're doing the our one. We're keeping the original? Yep. I tried to be logical, but no, it was a disaster. Thank God. That was horrendous. Thank Christ. Thank you, Jenna.

We're keeping the original opener. Here's to being obnoxious in 2021. Cheers with a caramel mud cake. Jenna, I'm cheesing yours for you. Cheers. Oh, it doesn't have the same chink to it, ready? It's just mud against mud. Ready?

Ready? Yeah, it's not glamorous, is it? Yay, we did it. Oh, I guess that technically means we're done for the year. I know, our last show for 2020, can you believe? We really kept them fed, though. I mean, there's a lot of content here to enjoy. Jesus.

One of our most listened to episodes is our final episode of Season 2. Is that right, Mitch? Yeah, Season 1. Season 1, Sorry Tunnel. Yeah, Jesus. That's crazy. Let's see how far this one spreads. Now, we are going on holiday for a little bit.

We don't exactly know when we'll be back yet, but you can keep up to date with us. Follow us both. We'll be doing our own thing. We'll be doing our Instagram live every Sunday. Oh. At Couple of Mitches. Sorry, Dots, back in the window.

Back in the car, Dots! Back in the car! Yes! Can I have a Nesquik? Yes, you can have a Nesquik! Where are they again? In the glove box! Sorry, everyone.

Oh! Polly's pad has fallen down. Pick it up! To the knees. Don't! I'm sorry, darling. Can I have some cake? No, you can't have cake.

Your insulin levels are through the roof. Sorry, something about a live. I missed it, but we'll be there. Instagram live at Couple of Minutes every Sunday, whether we're here or not. All right, guys, we better get out of here. Yeah, we should go. Jenna, thank you for committing to the bit and staying in the coffin the entire episode. What a trooper.

That's okay. How are you feeling? You feel like you're low on oxygen? A bit, but, you know, I'm dedicated to the podcast. You definitely are. We love you, Jenna. Thank you for a great year. And we will be back.

We're signed with iHeart. Season three is coming very soon. Thanks for listening, everyone. We can't wait to be back with you next year. We'll miss you. See you in 2021. Actually, hold on, mate, before we go. Viagra.

Oh, my God. Sorry. No, I know. We were this close to ending. I was hoping you forgot. No, Mitch, I believe. We have a Viagra update to squeeze in just before the season ends.

Don't be ashamed. Go ahead. So, new listeners, Mitch has been checking in with me to see if I've used Viagra, which they gave me to counteract the side effects of my antidepressants because I started taking antidepressants recently and one of the side effects is

sexual dysfunction. So they're like, just in case it's an issue, here's some Viagra. And you've been forcing me to open up about it on the podcast every week, and I haven't had much to say. Well, they've been forcing you to open up, you'd hope. I believe you had it on with a listener of the podcast. What? I know, Jenna. Wait, what?

It's so good. He fucked an Idrim listener. Are you serious? They fucked him. I don't know, Jenna. Wait, what? It's so good. He fucked an Idrim listener. Are you serious? They fucked him. I don't know the details. I didn't know they were a listener at first, to be fair. What's her name? I'm not saying.

I'm not revealing any of that. All right, all right. It's a he. Wow, I'm sure they're listening now. How did it go, Mitch? The Viagra worked a treat. Oh, Jenna! That's worse! That was great! Yay! How did it go, Mitch? The Viagra worked a treat. Oh, Dennis!

That's one point to Mitchell Coombs. No points to depression. Take that, depression. Take that, depression. I still got to enjoy my sex life. Congratulations. So your dick works only with copious amounts of medication. Yay!

Was it good? Did it feel good to have it working? It was a relief to be like, oh, thank God it still works, because I was starting to believe your theory that your dick is broken. Yeah. That's what you've been saying. Oh, that's all a bit of bants. Did it stay hard the whole time and then linger after?

It was hard when it needed to be. Really? There was no lingering. You're still very much in control, even under the influence of Viagra. But this listener would have known, right? Because he would have heard of the copious renditions of Viagra update over the last few weeks. Well, that's the thing.

I didn't realise he was a listener. Yeah. And then- Until what? He had a custom Ijum shirt? No, when I first- He had a rest shirt? No.

He went to the kitchen, went, I need a drink, and pulled out a mug that he won for believing in review? He mentioned to me, oh yeah, I've listened to a couple of episodes of the podcast and i was like fuck which episodes and so i just came playing they said have you heard of viagra update and he goes yeah and i was like that's kind of a relief actually yeah that's what leads me the awkward conversation and then as it turns out he's not as much of a casual listener as I thought. He's not just a listener, he's an endurant idiot. No.

No. No way. Our Facebook group. What? Yeah, the secret Facebook group. I'm fucking an endurant idiot. What the hell? Mitchell, oh my God.

That's the best. Oh my God. With the Viagra, you are the are the enduring idiot by the sounds of it. Wow, that's brilliant. Well, I'm happy for you. I'm glad it works and the broken dick is finally rectified. Thank you. Aw.

I did despise you for bringing it up continually. Yeah, well, hey, aren't you glad that I brought it up and we had a positive resolution? Because everyone listening would go, shit, Mitch's dick is broken for Christmas. But now they know that it's working and that's a real Christmas miracle. Well, can I tell you, one in eight people in Australia take antidepressants. Yeah, that doesn't surprise me.

So that's a lot of people. If you looked around the room, there's like often in this office more than 10 people sitting here. So I may not be the only one. I highly doubt you're the only one. I take it. There you go. And you'll need an extra one after this coffin, after today. Do you want to know how many men say they've experienced sexual dysfunction?

Yeah, go for it. 23%. Jeez, that's high. Most commonly a lack of sexual desire, difficulty reaching orgasm, or pain during intercourse. And for women, it's 50%, even more. That doesn't surprise me. Men are shit. So, yes, it does.

It was embarrassing that you kept bringing this up repeatedly, but then I thought, bugger it, I don't mind talking about it. There's more people going through it than you would think. And it's not my fault. It's the fucking antidepressants. Very true. The light just turned off. I'm scared.

What happened? What? The light. Oh, no. In the coffin. This is where we reveal our plan. Yeah. See you, Jenna.

We'll see you guys next year. Bye, Mitch. Get the cake. We'll go in the other room. I want some cake. See you in 2021. I want some cake. Switch the lights off on your way out.

I'm hungry. Can you unscrew? I'm very hungry. I'm just going to make sure they're tight. Hello. See you guys. Make make sure they're tight. Hello. See you guys. Make sure they're tight enough. Hello.

Do the bottom ones. Don't forget the bottom ones. Unscrew me. There you are. Beautiful. Like concrete. See you next year, guys. See you guys.

Thanks for listening. We love you. Is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app. Or follow on Spotify. Did everyone leave? So it appears that everybody's left me here in a coffin. I heard the door shut so welcome to AD Debrief.

I'm reporting from a coffin. It's really shut now. They both screwed it in. All the lights are off now so I can't see anything. But yeah, good stuff. um yeah no i can't believe they left me in here and i'm really in a coffin like some of you would be like oh no you're not but i really am like ah It's moving Unscrew her Unscrew her Unscrew me Fine Get the top on

I can't get There you go Wait did you want to stay in there for 8 minutes? No open the She can stay in but open the lid. It'd be nice to see her face. Okay. Oh!

Oh, there she is! Oh, dear God! Oh, your hair looks disgusting. You've got tootin' Carmen. She's got coffin hair. Oh! Oh, Gemma. Hi.

We got you the... No, stay in there! Is she allowed out you the... No, stay in there. Is she allowed out, Mitch? No, I'm staying here. I don't give a shit. I'm not the boss. What do you want to do? I'm staying here.

Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment on the end. We trick people out of listening so that we can embarrass ourselves even further. This part of the show is nothing to be proud of, which is why we keep it a secret. We go on weird tangents. We carry on. This is the most indulgent part of the show. Oh, yeah.

A lot of people love this show. It's their favorite part. This part, yeah. Someone messaged me the other day and they were like, I was this close to taking my car back to the car dealership because I thought CarPlay was broken because whenever I finish our episode, it said there was 30 minutes left to go every week. And he's like, my car is broken. It's brand new.

But no, he just wasn't getting to ADD brief. I'm not even kidding. At least like every, maybe not every week, but every two weeks. Sorry. Someone new discovers ADD brief. The thing is, this is where you get the code word and the entry and the details of our secret group on Facebook called Endurant Idiots. E-N-D-U-R-A-N-T.

Idiots. We post behind the scenes content. It's a bit of fun. It's a little community now. There's almost a thousand people on there. I. It's a bit of fun. It's a little community now. There's almost a thousand people on there. I know. It's so much fun. It's a little home.

And we love all of our idiots. And you can join. Just search Enduring Idiots. There's a couple of questions to answer. It's pretty easy. All you need to do is know the name of this segment, which, of course, is AD Debrief. Hey, quick PSA to everyone now that we're in the thick of Australian summer. Don't drive with a pair of thongs on.

Oh. Make sure you take the thongs off while you're using the pedals because I nearly rear-ended someone on the way here. You're kidding. Because I always take my thongs off. But, I don't know, today I just forgot. And I went to push the brakes and my thong got caught. So, like, there was a delay.

I was like, shit! No! So, I could have been killed again. Again. Dig again. Jesus, yeah. Yeah. Second touch of death.

You could be in here. I had to pick the coffin up today. Jenna, people don't like when we eat on the podcast. Yeah. Especially me. I've been in a coffin for... Yeah, cut us some cake and some credit. I had to pick up the coffin from Caring Funerals in Five Dock.

Thank you again for the coffin, guys. It's absolutely beautiful. If you do need a coffin, in all seriousness, they love the fact that this was for comedy. The lady, I walked in, no joke. It was pouring with rain. I parked the van on the side. She went, hi, how may I help you?

Wasn't it a guy? No, it was a woman there. I've been talking to Adam, who owns it. His name is on the window. He's a real celebrity in the five dog funeral community. White lady who? Yeah. Who? And I walked in. I went, knock, knock, knock. And then you walk in and no joke,

very faint. Beautiful music playing. I went, I went, hi. How may I help you, dear? I went, hi, I'm from the radio station, from Is It Just Me, the podcast. I've organised a coffin with Adam. And she immediately snapped into gear. Thought it was fun.

Thought it was great. Took me around the back. Got the coffin. We've done this. We've engraved it. It's custom balsa wood. We've patterned it for the girl. Yeah, there's an engraving on the front.

Have a look. And she said, may I ask what you're doing with the coffin? And I said, yes, it's for the podcast. We have a producer here. And she's not really a producer. And she said may i ask what you're doing with the coffin and i said yes it's uh for the podcast we have a producer here and you're not really a producer and she said she'd do a show from a coffin and she went oh isn't that fun she went i'm very sorry but we don't normally do fun things like this in all my 30 years of making and selling coffins we've never done something like this well it's not an easy thing to integrate into an entertainment show is it no no but we've done it because we're fucked i wonder if there's anyone out there that are really offended by this well that's what i

was worried about like someone who's recently lost someone yeah or maybe it's one of those things where it's so dark that you can't help but laugh but i hope that's the case because i was horrified i i genuinely hand on heart i just assumed by leaving this task in your hands, it wouldn't happen. I was like, Mitch always forgets that he's agreed to ship. Mitch doesn't take responsibility. He's going to forget to organise the coffin. And then he sends me a message from inside the bloody van

going to pick it up. And I was like, oh, my God, he's actually getting the coffin. I was horrified. You know, I'm bad when it comes to, like, paying you back for a Subway cookie you've bought me, not when it comes to this. You're actually quite good with that. Am I?

Yeah. You're quite good with that. But this is the most dedicated I've ever seen you to any content we've ever done to our podcast. I'll say to you, hey, can you get a Twitter sound effect? And you'll fuck around for months being like, oh, I've just been so busy. The ops role, my radio job. I had to speak to fucking Delta God Ram.

And you always put the easy tasks off. But this is the most elaborate task ever. You had to inquire about the coffin. You had to lock it in. Had to sell it too, for free. You had to sell it. You had to promise all these things that we would deliver. And then you had to speak to one of the people in campaigns and activations here saying,

can I borrow the kiss van? You know what? Staying borrow the kiss van? You know what? Staying in the kiss van all weekend. God forbid they go out to bloody Western Sydney. Hi kids, here's a frosty cold can of Coke. Here's a bag. Oh my dear. They just use the coffin as an esky.

So you're not taking this back today? No, it's going back on Monday. Oh, we've got it all weekend. Yeah, who wants to? You could sleep in it. Yeah. It is very comfy. Should I try? Hey? I'll try. Yes, please do. There's no way you're going to fit.

I'm not being mean. There's just no way you're going to fit. I'll try. It's just the... Okay. Yeah. Where are the headphones? I don't need them. Yeah, you can hear it. Do you need them? Nah, it's alright. Oh, you can hear it. Do you need them? Nah, it's alright.

Oh, my dump is in. Oh! Oh, that's a tight squeeze. Yeah, but I'm in. No, you're not. Oh, no, it doesn't fit me height-wise. Jenna. Jenna.

Nah, these are $800 shoes. Jenna, try to put the lid on. Yeah. Oh! My one arm's in. Yeah, no, there's not... even your quiff won't fit. Your Elvis hair won't fit. Oh, my lungs are being squashed.

Get out, get out. I'm actually wedged, Mitchell. Look at my shoulders. They're wedged in. Look. That doesn't look comfy, does it? No. Although I guess if you're in here,

you're not exactly leaving a review. Oh my God, and me with my body. Can I just say, there's actually nothing that sounds more horrific to me than an open casket. Oh, I agree. I've never visited one. Have you guys? Yep. Get on mic, Jenna, for God's sake.

I don't want to have this conversation if you're over there. Let's get rid of this music. Yeah, I'm over it. I'm over it. Have you who for God's sake. I don't want to have this conversation if you're over there. Let's get rid of this music. Yeah, I'm over it. I'm over it. Have you who for? My aunt. Was it her? Clearly her wishes to have one.

No, it wasn't at the funeral. It was before. So they put the lid, they popped the lid on for all the normies, but the family got to see the corpse. Oh, so you went early. Well, like two days before. She was a VIP mourner. Oh, is that how it works?

Right. Is that how it works? Yeah, it's like a special room. She had a VIP mourner. Oh, is that how it works? Right. Is that how it works? Yeah, it's like a special room. She had meet and greet passes. Yeah. Wow. Yep, and they do their makeup and all that. See, yeah.

Who's they? The funeral home. Yeah, that's exactly. This is what caring funeral would do. Yeah. Can you call Adam, our mate, and we'll say thanks while he's on the line, but ask, do you pop a bit of fucking face, a bit of cake on the bloody remains?

No, we don't want to be insensitive, though, do we? That's a good question, though. You literally just put them in a coffin for an hour. That's insensitive. Yeah, good point. Their spirit has departed, but their remains remain on earth. I want to ask, I'm going to get Adam's number up, who he wants to be buried and who wants to be cremated.

Obviously, Jenny of B, you've had both choices done to you in the past. You've also been burnt at the stake, which is no longer ethical. She's tried and tested both. Correct. What do you guys want? Is it all sort of general consensus cremation? I vibe a cremation because I couldn't make the decision, do I get buried in Bogangate or do I get buried in Sydney?

So I would like whoever is my next of kin or whatever the fuck, I would like them to draw on how well they know me to decide where I ought be scattered. Bits of me. I want a bit of me in Bogengate, bit of me in Sydney, bit of me places that mean something to me, and it's up to them to decide. Yep.

One of them might be the Capitol Theatre because I love seeing Wicked there. Oh, very true. That's really nice. One of them might be, you know, the cafe down the road that I love. Yeah. It's up to whoever is scattering the ashes. But did you know with cremations, they also cremate the coffin you're in? Yes.

And everything. So how do you know what's you and what's the coffin? No, because. Is this symbolism, Jennifer? Fuck's sake. What? No, no, it's a good question. My aunt was cremated.

Yeah. No, it's not this coffin. This is a displaymated. Yeah, no, it's not this coffin. This is a display coffin. It's like a, I actually think it might even be cardboard. No, it's the coffin that. This coffin? No, at the funeral. Do they decant the body into a shitter coffin?

No. It's like you don't mind burning it. They flip it out like a Christmas pudding out of the red coal plastic tub. They're like, I've gone to all this trouble of lacquering this fucking coffin. I'm not going to burn it. I'm going to put her in some shit thing and then see that's what the budget funeral homes would do caring funerals wouldn't do that no we'll ask him when he's on the phone i've got him number let's call him now adam is dialing very nice guy this also may be the home phone because it's a family

so it might be the wife that i'm caring funerals how can i help you hello um i'm just wondering if adam's there please oh no sorry he's just popped out Yeah, he's just not in the office at the moment. No worries. All good. Can I help you? Did you want to leave a message? No, it's all good. We'll call him on his mobile.

Okay, no problem. Thank you so much. Good evening. Thank you. That's the woman that helped me. Beautiful. Oh, she sounds so nice. She was so sweet.

Why didn't you say good day, mate? The coffin went well. It was too much. Should I call her back? No. Let's go to Adam. I've got his number. G'day, is it Adam?

Yeah. Adam? Yeah. Adam? See? I think he gave us the wrong number. That's what happened to me when I tried to call last week. Oh, that's weird. Unless he changed his phone. That happened three times to me.

So then I text and then I finally got on to him. He's like, it's not Adam, man. You've got the wrong fucking number. Okay, well call back the the Caring Funerals number and ask Bev for Adam's number. Is her name Bev? I just assumed. Just say, hi, bitch, it's me.

I'm exhausted. Oh, we can go. No, no, no. It's the last episode of the year. Still got a song and dance to do. Caring Funerals, how can I help you? Hello, it's Mitch from the radio station. Hi, Mitch, how are you?

Oh, I'm so good. I just wanted to say it all went so well. It was perfect. It worked a treat. Oh, beautiful. I'm so sorry. Kathy didn't know anything about it. Oh, I thought, sorry, I thought this was Kathy.

Hello. No, it's Gina. No, it's not a problem, Gina. I'm here with my co-host. Mitch and Gina are here. Gina, would you like a Gina. No, it's not a problem, Gina. I'm here with my co-host, Mitch and Jenna are here. Gina, would you like a live review of the coffin? Oh, yes. Jenna, what did you think of the coffin?

Yeah, Jenna was in there. It was very, very comfortable and I really, really liked the support. It was so, so good. Oh, excellent. So, please, me and my colleagues can't wait to have a look. Yeah. Well, we've got photos and we've got some audio, so we'll send it through to Adam.

That's actually why I'm calling. I don't have his mobile number. Would I be able to grab it? We just want to call him and thank him. Yep. He's just with family at the moment, so just wait a little while. Yeah, of course. But his number is 04.

Yep. Awesome. Thank you so much. That's amazing. And thank you guys. I mean, you guys were nothing but helpful. We really appreciate your help. The coffee was beautiful. We try. Well, it works. You succeed. Oh And thank you guys. I mean, you guys were nothing but helpful. We really appreciate your help. The coffin was beautiful.

We try. Well, it works. You succeed. Oh, thank you. Have a great Christmas, okay? Yeah, you too. All the best to all of you. You too.

See ya. Love you. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. She was so sweet. I thought I wasn't going to be able to record today. Why? Because last night I came home midnight from the show.

I was very hungry. And all I had in the fridge was one of those microwavable bassa fillet fish that are frozen. Microwaved it. But we have a new microwave. I don't think it cooked it. And I ate it and it was raw. Oh, you thought you were going to get the salmonellas. I woke up.

Oh, and if I thought my shits were loose prior to this. They made them. This shit this morning made them look like they were rocks. You were on the run. I was on the run. I had to ask Karen Fumar if I could shit at their place. And I on the run. I was on the run. I had to ask Karen for you. It was a fucking shit of their place. I do, actually. Yeah.

Okay. Let's call Adam speaking off. Can you applaud when he answers? Adam! It's my default. That's what I was going to do. What do you mean? He did sound like he was at a funeral, though, on the previous call.

Someone in the background was giving a eulogy. Hello? Adam, it's Mitch from Kiss. How are you? I'm good. I'm good. Hi. Good.

How are you? I'm good, man. I'm good. Do you have time to talk or no? Not a good time? No. About two minutes, I'll be free. Okay.

All good. All good. We'll give you a buzz back. Okay. Sounds good. Thanks, mate. Bye. He's definitely at a. We'll give you a buzz back. Okay. Sounds good. Thanks, mate. Ta-da. Bye.

He's definitely at a funeral. He's at a funeral. He's at a funeral. I wonder what point of the funeral. I don't know. But we probably should, considering we have to wait 10 minutes. We'll be back after this. WSFM time.

Last one for the year. It's all good. Last one for the year. Hey, should we talk Christmas? What are we all doing? You got bug and gate. Jenna's going to a place you'll mention in Vaucluse. What?

I'm going to Dumbo. I'm just assuming. See, this is where this comes from. You've got to ask. Do you know what I'm planning to do with all my time off? Yeah. I'm going to go on a bunch of dates. Really?

Because my excuse usually is, oh, I don't like dating midweek because I'm tired. I've going to go on a bunch of dates. Really? Because my excuse usually is, oh, I don't like dating midweek because I'm tired. I've got to go to work. I get up at 3.45am. And so now that I don't have that excuse to fall on, I'm going to be swiping me ass off. Don't you worry. I'm sure they'll be doing that. I'm going to be on Tinder, left, right and centre. So I guess a good question is, am I allowed to do Viagra updates in the new season, season three? Or is that sort of a cap to do Viagra updates in the new season, season three? Or is that sort of a cap on the Viagra update? Did we get the final update?

Well, we've established that it works. Are you going to ask me every time, hey, Mitchell, did you have erectile dysfunction? I probably don't need that level of detail. No, I don't think you do. No, no, no. So Jenna, you're going to Dubbo? Yes.

Lovely. Who's in Dubbo? My whole family. I didn't know that. Yeah. Pretty sure. Oh, jeez. Great fucking answers, guys.

God. Excuse me. I gave you so much banter just then. No, you were great. They're in Dubbo. They're a coffin dog. Yeah, it's like I'm not interrogating you. I'm sorry.

I've just been in a coffin for over an hour. Yeah, Mitch, she looks like she just got off a long haul flight. Yes. Yeah, there's something about being in a coffin for over an hour. Yeah, Mitch said she looked like she'd just got off a long haul flight. Yes. Yeah, there's something about being in a coffin for an hour that makes Jenna look like she's in the middle of a layover flight to London in Abu Dhabi with awful humidity. Her hair was all fucked. She had headphones half on around her neck. You know when someone's travelling and they've got headphones on their neck?

She was drooling. She was so dehydrated she ran for the caramel mud cake. You know when you get to an airport and you're like, give me any food. That's true. I will have stale hungry jacks. Yeah, me too. You know the fun? I think I've said this on the podcast.

You know when you have plain food and you always feel terrible after? Yeah. It's always like, I'm never hungry. They fill that food with anti-laxatives. The opposite of laxatives. Are you serious? They make you firm up. They firm everything up because they don't want everyone shitting in the toilet.

They don't want everyone having the runs. So they actually put medication in there that hardens your stool. That's why whenever you poo a day later, it's like, this is horrendous. I've never noticed. No, I have. I just hate that feeling when you've eaten all your plain food. You can feel it sitting in your stomach. Yeah.

The worst one is, I was on a Qantas flight. We were in and out of Los Angeles. And you're sort of sitting there with your eye mask on, my lavender pillow from now, thanks Mitch. And then you sort of sit there and you have the light hum of, and then she came over and she was like, excuse me, sir, pizza bites. And woke me up and gave me pizza bites. I'm like, I'll take them.

Pizza bites? I'm not hungry in the sliders, but thanks. She woke me up to give me pizza bites. So my mask, when I was on, my eye eye mask when I was on an Etihad flight. Here it is, yeah. Is it Etihad that we flew with Jenna? Yes. Or was it Emirates?

Etihad. Don't ask me. So Etihad, the mask, one side was green and it says, wake me up for food. And then the other side was red and it says, leave me the fuck alone. So if you're deep in a slumber and you don't want to be woken for food and then the other side was red and it says leave me the fuck alone genius so if you if you're deep in a slumber and you don't want to be woken for food you put the red side up so that the flight attendants know don't disturb them the bitch needs a rest mitch this lavender mask i know did you crush it up beforehand yeah well and truly crushed i'm gonna just talk to the podcast for about two minutes and just see if I get asleep.

No, because you're going to be on. You're going to be trying to perform. True, you know me. In through your nose. You know me too well. Put it back on. Put it back on. Okay. Everyone listening, let's do a really quick mindfulness.

Oh, I've got to get the mindfulness. Anti-anxiety. I have to do the music. Oh, no. People want the music. It's how it works. What do I do? So crunch it, crunch it.

Everyone. Well, Mitchell, you can crunch it, but everyone at home doesn't have a fucking lavender pillow. Pop it on your eyes. All right. Head back. All right. Arms by your side. Your arms aren't by your side.

Put them by your side. All right. Dislocate the heavy. You're going to start by relaxing your right shoulder. Focus all your energy on relaxing the right shoulder. Relax the left shoulder. Now we're going to work our way down. Relax your elbows. Relax your wrists. Relax your fingertips. Finger by finger. Relax your knees. Relax your calves. Relax your ankles.

And now toe by toe, relax your feet. Breathe in through your nose. And out through your mouth. And if you notice wandering thoughts drifting into your mind, that's okay. Just bring your attention back to the present. And relax. And focus on your breathing. In through your nose.

And out through your mouth. I think I killed him, Jenna. He's dead. He's out like a light. Let's get fucking photos. Relax your chin and your other chin Fuck off Wow that worked Doesn't it

I felt like I was an eagle soaring the Saharan plain Yep Oh I do look dead I had to Actively Restrain my bowel from letting go I was that relaxed. I wanted to urinate all over my terry-tailing purple pants.

Wow, another TikTok trend successfully done by me. Is that a trend? That's not a TikTok trend. That's just mental health talent. Let me tell you, that was brilliant. And back in my theatre days when I lived in New York, we did that every morning. Have I told you about my movement class?

Your movement class. I did movement every morning at 8 till 10. Well, that's a first for you, isn't it? Movement. I was the fittest I've ever been. We had to do one exercise called the Goku egg or something. And we had a class of 20, right? And no joke, our teacher Renee, beautiful woman, would play music just like that.

And she'd go, today we're doing Goku Egg. Class lined up at one side of the room and we don't have to shuffle. And we're all sort of like actors, so we're all doing bits. Like, woohoo! Trying to be funny. I can just imagine. Awful. I'm like, what side?

You mean on the roof? And then I walked to the side and she was like, we have to cross the room. One by one. Without touching the floor. Good luck. And we're all like, we have to cross the room one by one without touching the floor. Good luck. And we're all like, what? And then at first you do silly. You were like, get a grip, Molly.

Literally, I'm like, Renee, I don't have time for this. I want to be in a Scorsese film. I want to be on The Good Place. I don't want to be fucking climbing the walls. So then, of course, you try and climb the walls. Or then you try to throw each other on jump. But it's a giant room, maybe 50 metres across. Massive theatre space. And she went, this is where Goku Egg comes into play.

So you had to get across the room but your classmates had to be the ones to carry you. And you had to curl up into a Goku Egg ball. Like you had to curl up into a ball and you would to curl up into a Goku egg ball. Like, you had to curl up into a ball, and you would kneel down, Mitch, and I'd sort of roll onto you, and then you'd roll me over to Jenna, and then Ryan would go across, and one by one, you'd roll across the room, like a giant roly-poly, as this music played,

and you'd get to the other side of the room. That sounds like you could really fuck your neck. Oh, it was horrendous and I was nervous. There's nothing about that that's enticing. Well, I didn't want to do it because I was worried about my weight. Little did I know that I would blow out the next three years. Back then I was like a twig compared to what I am now. I really had nothing to worry about, if you know what I mean.

And I said, I don't want to do it. And then she said, everyone go to Mitchell. And everyone came to me and she went everyone raise your hands and they all put their hands up and they gave me reiki energy to feel empowered to feel light and to feel slim and then I cried and didn't do it and went to the lunchroom and had a had something for the vending machine did you actually yeah I didn't do it I didn't do the goku egg You're like, I'm out of here. No, I did. I think I was crying.

It was very emotional. Oh, my God. Why is that so emotional? You just have to be a fucking egg. I could be an egg. No, it's theater. We also did another exercise, right? Called enter.

Should we try it? What is it? It's called enter laughing, exit crying. So you had to walk into a room like this. Ready? Oh, my God. Please give an example Not performance space laughing laughing laughing laughing

laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing

laughing laughing and scene And scene And scene Why'd they make you do that? And scene Why'd they make you do that? I don't know This is ridiculous I haven't had any acting work since

I reckon if Jenna did that You couldn't differentiate Which is which Laughing or crying God no You never can No, no Some people are very good at crying what okay come on miss former hyman away extra give us what

you've got you enter laughing and then you leave trying okay already so just another day oh hold on adam's calling oh fuck all. It's been 10 minutes. You're right. Adam. Yeah, Tazer. I'm good, mate. How are you? Hi, Adam. Thank you.

Adam, Mitch is here and Jenna. We host the podcast together. We just wanted to say the coffin was amazing. Thank you. I know. Would you like to hear a live review of the coffin? Jenna will give her feedback after being in there for an hour. Did you like the mattress I put in the bottom of it? It might be a bit more comfortable for you.

Oh, I loved it. That's good. I was a bit hard to stay onto the timber that I put the mattress and the pillow in. I hope you were comfortable. Oh, so most corpets don't get that. Oh, yeah. No, but I put it a little bit thicker so that

it was just a little bit more comfortable for her. Oh, beautiful. You're very thoughtful. Oh, that's so nice. You're amazing. Jenna loved it. You're the best. Appreciate everything, Adam.

See you, mate. Thank you. Bye. It was lovely. Oh, he's so nice. What a nice man. What a glowing endorsement from Jenna. I've used their coffins and I love it.

Yes. Should I call him back and go, oh, Adam, excuse my coffin. Do not. Where were we before that? Jenna was about to enter crying, enter laughing. So go for it, Jenna. Can I have another scoop of mud cake, darling? Isn't that good?

Pass me the glass. Yeah. I've got to start my job very soon. Doesn't matter. I think it does. In she comes. All right, go for it. So quick.

That was so quick. I didn't even notice the change. Do you reckon she wails like that when she cries? I haven't seen Jenna cry. Oh, I have. It's a mess. Crying pleasure. What?

It's Kentucky. Sorry, that was really creepy. Mitch, you give it a try. No, I don't think I can. You reckon? I don't think I can do it. You'd hate acting school. It's so wanky.

It's fucked. Goku egg Mitchell Turi across the room. Some bitch Renee from Long Island, from New York, was lying down, and I had to somersault on her back to get across a room in a warehouse in Brooklyn. I'd rather be dead. It was a lot, and I was very sweaty. So raky energy. There's no leaves.

What do you need to rake? Oh, a bit much if you ask me. But I loved every moment of it. Atlantic Acting School in Manhattan if you want to get across. Don't give them a credit line. They didn't give us shit. No, they didn't. They gave me me.

They gave you me. And he's a handful and a half. What a great year it's been, guys. Oh, it's just been the best. Delightful. We'll be back soon, though. Don't worry. If you miss us, you can look at our socials or we'll be doing things. Yeah, like in the rare event that you do miss us,

listen to old episodes or something. Surely there's something you forgot we said once. Yeah, every listen that you guys give our podcast, we get $30,000. So please, just listen to one ep while you sleep. That'll buy me a new Honda Jazz. If you listen to two episodes, $60,000. Listen to three so we all get $30,000.

Listen to three so we all get $30,000 and we still won't give out any mugs. We'll keep all the money and not give anyone any prizes. Well, anyway, it's been a fuckhole of a year, everyone, but we've loved hanging out with you. Oh, in all seriousness, this podcast has been a shining ray of light. Thank you for listening because really, well and truly, no one has to listen to this. Why would you? Yeah.

People are busy. So thank you for listening. We couldn't do it without you. We appreciate you. We love you. And Enduring Idiots is where you can be. I'm sure we'll be posting over the break in Enduring Idiots. So if you want behind the scenes extra content join the goddamn Facebook group guys. Please do. We'll see you there. And I'm determined to go Instagram Live every Sunday.

Yeah. I can't hear you over the... My fat pig co-host might not show up, but I'll do it. That's not fair, Talisha. She's not your co-host anymore. Anyway, thank you for listening, guys. We love you. We love you. We appreciate you.

We do. Oh, hold on. Who's this? This is, oh my God, you'll never believe it. Who? White Lady Funerals. They're furious. We didn't go with them.

They're mad that we went with number one coffin company in the Middle West. Yeah, rot in hell, White Lady Funerals. Yeah, Rot Lady Funerals. Rot rot in hell white lady funerals. Yeah, rot lady funerals. Rot in hell rot lady funerals. White lady funerals. More like putrid slut funerals. Rancid

dog funerals. Stank ass hoe funerals. Feral mutt funerals. Oh, they did nothing to us. Nothing at all. Thank you again to Caring Funerals and thank you to all of you guys for listening in 2020 and for keeping us afloat.

We love you and we will see you with a refreshed new show in 2021. We'll catch you then. See you guys. Miss you already. Love you. Bye.