Is It Just Me? - #55: Emotional Anal with Abbie Chatfield

Episode Date: February 15, 2021

It's our Valentine's Day special! ♥️ We're joined by our mate Abbie Chatfield - winner of 'I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!' and host of the podcast It's A Lot.In this episode:Abbie swallowing load for the first time in 6 years (06:22)Churi and his boyfriend's first penetration (10:26)Seedy moustaches (14:19)'You should sit down for this' (18:15)Masturbating to Bridgerton (20:28)Abbie talks 'emotional anal' (24:20)Attachment issues (31:00) Would Abbie be the next Bachelorette? (37:05)Reading out this week's reviews (38:44)Abbie envisions Churi's past life (41:26)Adding to the list of things better than drugs & dick (46:28)The lowdown on Abbie & Mitch's Tinder dates (49:15)Our "secret segment" ADDebrief (01:02:17)Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Warning. This episode of Is It Just Me contains explicit content and is recommended for mature audiences only. And yes, we're aware of the irony of us saying that, but we kind of legit mean it this time. Just take our word for it, this one's a little bit more graphic than usual, so if you've got, like, kids in the car or something, maybe put some headphones in. Or don't. No, what? Screw it. Let them listen. Skyrim for life. Do what you want. We're not your mum. Anyway. Here's the episode.

People do some weird shit. Television legend Kerri-Ann Kennelly fell several metres from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pippet. Some things make more sense than others. Ring Pikes Nurseries. What nursery? Pike's. P-Y-K-E-S. P-Y-A...

K as in kill. P-Y-E. K! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches.

What about me? Don't forget Jenna. Who? Now, here's Mitch Churney and Mitchell Coon. Yes, here we are. Hello. Hello, guys. How are we, Groundskeeper Jenna?

Back again. Feeling good. With very special guest, Abby Chatfield. Queen of the jungle, Abby. Queen of the jungle. Queen of the jungle. Look at you go. You don't bring the crown with you everywhere you go?

I actually did bring it everywhere I went this morning. But Tim said, the publicist, he was like, I might take it with me. It's a bit weird to get papped on the street walking into a massage parlor with the crown. Isn't it heavy? It looks heavy. Oh, it's very light. It's kind of like an arts and crafts project. I was underwhelmed.

It was very art attack. It looked like it was made of paper mache and a couple of pop sticks. Yeah, it was like Velcro just to hold the back. But it's symbolic, I guess. Well, in case Grant won so they could make it tiny. Yeah, and it didn't fit my head. I didn't know what to do. Anyone out of the loop, anyone who somehow missed it,

Abby Chatfield won I'm a Celeb. Get me out of here. She did. She did. And we've brought you in here. Quite fitting, actually, seeing as we're a couple of tinderellas. We've brought you in here for our Valentine's Day special. Welcome, Miss Chatfield.

Thank you so much. The mood in here. I know, right? These candles are beautiful. Put your pants on. Oh, my God. They're off, guys. They were really off.

This is so nice. Are you sick of being asked the same questions again and again about I'm a celeb? I'm so sick of it. What have they been? The fucking snake? The snake bite? Did the snake hurt? Obviously.

Ash Williams. Never liked him. You and Jack had a lovely relationship. Yeah. Yeah. The conversation with Dipper about such shaming. Yes. Not much else.

How do you feel? Yeah. How do you feel? How do you feel? Yeah, good, I guess. Just won a popular vote against Grant Denya. That's big, though. The golden Logie winner, Grant Denya. Australian bloody sweetheart. It was quite funny seeing all the comments being like,

Grant should have won. It's like, you should have voted, darling. Grant shouldn't have won because he didn't. Also, I saw a comment. I saw a comment also saying, it isn't like Chris and Julie, like now our favourite celebrity is. It's like, it's numbers. Also, like someone was like, oh,

Abby hasn't done the hard yards in media to win this. And it's like, first of all, was trolled mercilessly. Yeah. But also, it's not who's had the longest media career or who has worked the hardest or who's been on Sunrise more times. That's not the show. Who's on the press day more times. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, like, you know, anyway, so we ended up winning. It was joyful. Someone also said that they reckon the network chose me. It was rigged. Why would they choose the Bachelor villain? Yeah. Yes, they've done you dirty. They're like, oh, we've got to make up for her.

Yeah. How bad the edit was when she was on The Bachelor. Opposed to Grant Denya, who's the network love child. They could have easily given it to him. I didn't quite realise how obsessed with you people are. Like, I knew you had fans, but there's no one that just kind of casually likes Abby Chatfield. Like, they're all diehard.

So, of course, all your Instagram followers were going to vote. I was getting endless messages, screenshots of people's, like, credit being like, you've used $270 worth of your credit. That's like 400 votes. Well, Grant's fans wouldn't have had enough. No, they wouldn't have. They were all on Dodo $20 ADSL phone plans.

I can't afford to. Aldi Mobile. My ugly Phil. What's it called? Ugly Phil? Crazy Phil? Angry John. It's a phone brand.

Angry John. Angry John. Angry John. Angry John. Putrid Bruce. What is it? Putrid Bruce. Very mad Mark.

But you did very well. So congratulations. Yay. And we are here on Valentine's Day. I asked you on my show, because you came on the night show, about, you know, just the jungle. You didn't bring your vibrator, though, did you? I couldn't masturbate.

We actually spoke about it one day, like day 12. We were all comfortable. And we were like, someone's masturbated. Everyone was like, no. The only place you could do it would be the long drop, I think. Which is where you poo. It's the poo. It's the poo. The poo place you could do it would be the long drop, I think Which is where you poo It's the poo, it's the poo The poo place, good pals

Yeah, so no masturbating at all Was that rough? Was that like, you were stinging for it by the end? Well not really, because I was so tired But by the end I was So like, first two weeks I was honestly not even thinking about it Last week it was pretty hard And then I was, you know, I got home,

watched porn, came without touching myself watching porn. What? Like, was like, was like lying on the bed and kind of like rubbing my clit against the bed and just started watching porn, trying to find

porn to watch and came. Wow. What an ad for koala to watch. Yeah. And came. Wow. What an ad for koala mattresses. Yeah, clearly. Actually, sponsor me. Sponsor me. I'm moving. If we can get Abbi Chatfield off, we can get you to sleep.

With a little perch in the middle. Just the koala dishevelled and wet. If you didn't know already, Abbi likes to overshare. In fact, can we talk about your preparation before heading into the Armored Celeb Jungle? Yeah. So you know how when you're in the jungle, they make you eat, it's a growth shift. Yeah. Really growth shift.

Cricket and bugs. So I knew this. I'm a big vomiter. Huge vomiter. Vomit twice a week, at least. And I thought, what's the thing I hate the most in the world? It's cum. Ejaculate.

You and me both. I did a whole episode of it on this show. Ew. You know what I mean? It doesn't bother me. But also men don't deserve to cum inside a mouth. Do you know what I mean? Like if I'm going to fuck you, like I'm not going to make you cum and then do a chore

afterwards and swallow it. Yeah. No. Come inside me. You know what I mean? Cream pie. Anyway, moving on. So I thought, what better way to prepare than to swallow cum for the first time in six years?

Oh, you hadn't done it in six years? No, I do not do it. Right, you're staunch against it. I will if you're not into it. But six years! But it's not that I spit, I don't make guys cum in my mouth. They don't deserve it. I can, I have the power, but often when they say I'm going to cum, I go, and I stop.

So to train yourself for the jungle, you went, I'm going to do it. And I swallowed it. It was for the jungle you went I'm gonna do it and I swallowed it it was hard and you were like and I I didn't know what my reaction was I mean

but I did it I was proud of myself but I did taste it all day and then after when I was doing the taco trial which is the food eating trial I was like

just think about that day that hot day that's all that will come and you did it with the hot day yeah and I mean, you did it? Yeah. Oh, it was a hot day. Yeah. Would have been more salty. And I was like, you did it.

You did it and you can do this. What did you have to eat on I'm a Celeb again? Oh, babe, it was like the first, it was the worst one was definitely, there was this thing called a spew food salad or something. Oh. I don't know. And it was like mudfish, like raw mudfish, chicken feet, turkey testicles with mealworms and then there's like a fish juice

over the top and I vomited at Dr Chris Brown's feet. A good place to vomit. I mean, yeah, a pretty sexy place to vomit. You're a pro. Well, you were brilliant and I'm glad to have you here on the Valentine's Day special. Absolutely. Our favourite love bird.

Yeah. What are we doing on the show, actually? I got all caught up in Abby being here. Well, we're going to do the usual. We're going to kick off the usual way. And is it just me? You've got one, haven't you? I've got one, but it's a bit deep.

Is that all right? That's fine. Is it lovey? Because mine's a bit lovey. Mine's relationship based. So is mine. Do you know what? I'm actually glad that it's deep because one thing, I sometimes think our podcast isn't

deep enough. And your podcast, it's a lot. It's very deep. They delve into deep shit there. So I'm glad you brought something deep. We're real shallow. We all need therapists. And we just like get to a point and then we're like, too much.

All avoidant. Actually, it just means about this. Oh, great. But we're also later going to update you on all the Tinder dates that you and I have been going on. Because anyone who follows us online would have seen we did the phone swap, setting you on all the Tinder dates that you and I have been going on because anyone who follows us online would have seen we did the phone swap, setting each other up on Tinder dates. Everywhere I go, it's Mitch and Abby. I know.

As soon as I get onto TikTok, I see both of you. I was at the dermatologist the other day and I was sitting in the waiting room and someone next to me, I heard, Mitch, how is it going? You fucking hang on. You're about to find out if I've got stage 3 melanoma. I don't want to hear my friends Talking about fruits

And then I walked in And I had to get a skin tag removed And I said Oh what causes skin tags She went obesity I went it's my eyelid It's bone What causes them

Because I don't want them To have any Overweightness Are you fucking serious Yeah On my eyelid That's fucked That's fat everywhere else

The one place you can't get fat, she calls fat. What a bitch. So rude. Anyway, she was lovely. She was very sweet. Shout out to the Green Square Dermatology. But that's why I've got this cut. No, no.

Well, look, seeing as it's a special occasion as well, before we get into the show, I've got some bubbles here, ladies. Here we are. Break the music. Grab a glass. We have two Valentine's Day. Thank you. Even if you're single like us, you can still have a great Valentine's Day with your mates.

I'm very happily coupled. Three years old. I know. I was excluding you from that. You don't have to show off about that. That's so nice. Being coupled. That's a huge flex.

You know that they actually met on Tinder. They're a Tinder success story. We are a Tinder success story. Really? A bit stalkerish. The story behind it's a huge flex. You know that they actually met on Tinder. They're a Tinder success story. We are a Tinder success story, yeah. Really? A bit stalkerish. The story behind is a bit off. I like this story. Please say.

People don't want to hear this. Do it. No, you tell it like it's the beginning of the Zodiac Killer film. Because it is. It is. Well, is it like that? No. Sorry.

Mazel tov. Don't send that to Tinder. Mazel tov. Now dock your 10k So Mitch met his boyfriend He found some little Thought that he liked On Instagram

And thought I'm gonna find him I'm gonna hunt him down I was in the closet I'll have you know So it was a big moment For me to reach out To another person

Another man And so you know how When you're chatting on Instagram It's like Is this LinkedIn Are we colleagues Are we friends What is this So it's like I'm gonna LinkedIn? Are we colleagues? Are we friends?

What is this? So it's like, I'm going to send a clear sign that I'm interested in you romantically by matching you on Tinder. Found out what uni he went to, stalked the perimeter of the campus, swiping madly, not while driving obviously, and then eventually matched him. And now here they are three years later. No, but you know what I like actually? With the Tinder, you got consent that he was interested in you as well,

which is nice. Because if you've done the stalking and gone to like a uni pub and approached him, this is like the gone girl. Well, I did pay $10.99 for the super like. It's worth it. Always worth it. I had like seven left. I'm like, but I don't want the seven.

I just want the one. But I did chuck a couple of twinks. I mean, why not? So I'm like, yeah, why not? He looks nice. Hold on back burner. But that's actually, it actually is a nice buffer and a safety mechanism for Hayden, is his name?

Yeah, it's his name. Hayden was nice and safe behind the Tinder walls. I agree. Yes. And it also solidifies that like, I'm not just going to be friends. Correct. And then this is actually a very cute story. I have told on the podcast, but I'll be quick.

Let me have a sip of rose. Cheers. Cheers. I'm not drinking it. Sorry, sorry. You can't rush with the spark of rose. Cheers. Cheers. I'm not drinking it. Sorry, sorry. You can't rush with the sparkly rose. It's bubbly and shit. Sorry.

Here we go, Jenna. All right. Happy Valentine's Day, ladies. Love you all. Happy Valentine's Day. Single vibes. Except for Nietzsche. We get it.

So, so, so. We matched on Tinder. And then we're really happy. And then we know we're very happy now. And it was, don't you ask. And then we're really happy. And then we know we're very happy now. And I was like, don't, you asked. And it was really sweet. And then I was in the closet, so I was nervous. So we were talking on Tinder every night,

like constantly, constantly, constantly, constantly. And then he's like, do you want to, because you can video chat on Tinder. Oh, we know. Yeah. We know. I've seen the TikToks. And I was like, sure, let's do it.

So then he video calls me. I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. And he was like, let's sleep together. And I was like, I'm not there. I. So then he video calls me. I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. And he was like, let's sleep together. And I was like, I'm not there. I'm not ready. I just want to think about it. So then one day I was here at work, right? And he leaves five minutes from work,

but I didn't know the suburbs because I live an hour away. And he's like, oh, do you want to come over? And it was six o'clock and I had a meeting at 6.30. I'm like, I'm not going to make it. I don't have time. And he was like, here's my address, just in case.

So I put it in maps. It was two minutes away. Two minutes away. May as well pop in. Anyway, I'm at in case. So I put it in Maps. It was two minutes away. Two minutes away. May as well pop in. Anyway, I'm at his house. So I message him and I go, I am out the front. He goes, I'm coming out. I pull up.

He walks out. See each other for the first time. I put my window down. We have a passionate kiss. Tongue kiss. Lips. Tongue. Hot.

You're a whore. Kiss. And then guess what? So we kiss. You disgust me. You're gay. It was a boy. It was a woman. She leaves the podcast. And then I kiss. And then I what? So we kiss. You disgust me. You're gay. It was a boy. It was a woman.

She leaves the podcast. And then we kiss. And then I look at him and I go, I've got to go. And I drove off. Oh, my God. It's hot, right? I remember the day that that happened. I called Jenna.

And when did you penetrate? The night of the Arias. That's how we commemorate. So you do it once a year? We do it once a year when Jess Marlborough is presenting. We're like, because she'll crap on, so we've got to give 10 minutes to do this because she'll talk about the album.

Oh, God. So every Night of the Arias and when Vance Joy wins, we finish. Well, I'm so proud of you for that. I'm glad we're down for you. We're still trying. That's all good. We'll. Well, I'm so proud of you for that. I'm glad we're down for you. We're still trying. That's all good. We'll get there. I'm enjoying it. I'm getting myself out there more with a bit of gentle encouragement. The money! The Tinder money, Jenna.

We're getting a cut off tonight. Mitch is like, send me a BSB and a count. I'm like, that's very nice. Anyway, should we get into the show? I think we should. Both of us. Who wants to go first? You go first. I've just spoke and I want some rosé. My heart rate's at 110.

I need a cup. Good idea. Pick up the arias. Oh, my God. Good idea. I'll go first because, Abby, you said that yours is a bit deep. Mine's quite shallow. Let's just work our way up to the deep topic.

All right. Here we go. When you're ready, Mitch, with the first idjo. Is it just me or? Can you just not with maches what oh i can't no i can't the seedy mo i'm not into it naughty just the mo just that bit upper lip just mo and how's the hair yeah i don't know it doesn't really matter i like a long hair with a mow. I don't love, you know what I hate about anything?

Chops? Oh my god, a bald head with a beard. Too much. Reverse. It's like what, you love craft beer? I'm sure you do. Shiny. I think a mow's nice. Nah, I have made out with a guy that had the mow and it was just tickly. How about November?

It's my worst time of year i'm like i'll donate but just don't do it i just can't i can't grow mo so i get do you know what you say you can't grow a mo but the other day i was doing an instagram live and someone said nice mo mitchell and i realized that just my upper lip hair it must be darker or something i think it's like growing quicker than the rest it looks like i've got a mo on purpose but it's just kind of how my face is oh my god my facial hair is formed and i hate it because i hate like i did you hate yourself no no let's unpack this mitchell you have internalized time no it's always been an issue, right?

Internalised moment of offender. I know it's bad. I know that you're not meant to be shallow and judge people on their looks, but every time I'm on Tinder and I see someone with a mo, I'm like... Sometimes a mo can tickle your clit while they're eating you out a bit more, so you can have more sensation. Yeah, I'm fine with a mo. I don't like to kiss a mo.

It's too much. I like smooth. I don't like the hair. It's not nice. I wouldn't choose a mo, but I'm not anti-mo. No, I'm anti with a mo. I don't like to kiss a mo. It's too much. I like smooth. I don't like the hair. It's not nice. I'm wearing a mo, but I'm not anti-mo. No, I'm anti-mo. And I'm very torn because part of me has been tempted to be like, have you ever considered shaving your mo?

You'd be so cute without it. But then I know that I get so pissed off when people say the same to me about my long hair. You should cut your hair. I get that all the time. They're like, oh, because there is a photo on my Tinder where I've got, it's me and a dog and it's just a cute photo and it was when I had short hair.

Oh, it's a very cute photo. Oh, so which one is currently you? And I had to get rid of it because I'm like, people kept asking me like, oh, you should go back to short hair. You look so much cuter. And I'd be like, how dare you ask me to change something about the way I express myself? And I'm like, here I am being like, ditch the fucking mo. I hate it. It's seedy. It's yuck. I I'm like, here I am being like, ditch the fucking mo. I hate it.

It's seedy. It's yuck. I don't like it. I don't know. It's naughty. Not for me. It's naughty. You like a bad boy though, don't you?

I like a bad, really bad boy. Do you ever like a full, like a twink, a straight twink, like a real hairless white man? No. Skinny. Is that your vibe? I like hair. Yeah. I love, my favorite thing in the world on men is like the chest and the hair here. When I ride dick, I look at that, not their faces.

Can Mitch and I show you? Can we show you our chest hairs? Because I've got real piece of it. Do we have to? Mine's very fast. So is mine. I quite like it. I just like it being in your titties.

That's kind of what I like. Really? Show me, show me, show me. I like that. I'm missing out. That's a nice amount. That's like a nice, like it's like if I was riding you. Oh, isn't that baby?

Thought you'd never ask. That looks like the top of like a Horton from Horton Hears a Who. You know those furry Dr. Seuss things? You know the land has always like a tuft of them. Mine is, I won't pull the top up because then you can, it's too much. There's quite a bit. Oh, there's not. They go under the nipple too.

Oh, my God. I can trust her. There's much more than I would have guessed. Yeah, I didn't expect that. I thought you were going to be bare bone, baby. Jenna, do you have hairy tits? Oh, my God. Yes, I do.

Fairy. All right, I'm going to go. But I'm going to change the status quo. I've already done my romance. I've got something that's bugging me. And this is going to sit between yours, your romance, your, you know, sexy one and Abby's deep and meaningful agent. Mine's just something

that I noticed today. Someone said something to me and I need to bring it up. Okay. Go for it. Alright. Agent number two. Is it just me or Have you never actually sat down when someone says to you you're going to want to sit down for this?

That's a good one. I'm like, you can tell me. I'm not going to fall over. Yeah, I'm fine. I have never once fallen. Hayden's like, you're going to want to sit down for a second. I'm like, yeah, keep talking, hon. Hang on.

No, spontaneously legs give out. What has he ever said that about? No, that was an example. Today my mum called me and my nan, who I've spoken about many times on the podcast. She has been in and out of the home and she's been unwell and she was really good at Christmas and she's sort of gone a bit downhill and mum went, you're going to want to sit down.

And I was like, just hit me. She's like, nan's had a bit of a bit of a fall we think it might be a stroke well you know we're taking you to hospital etc etc but i was like as sad as that is i didn't i didn't fall denise it down i didn't trip and i didn't have a fall i know nen was the one who had a full mom but it makes you worse because you you think what could it be every bad thing just answer the phone say nana's had a stroke yes i don't think that's ever actually happened to me more often than more often than not I am sitting down so they're just like all right he's ready assumed I always get the text from mum being like hi mate let me know when you

have a sec for a call usually it's just unsolicited but if it's like bad news she's like that she makes sure that I'm like you know available to it I'd still just call her on the go I'm like I'm at the gym what is that she's like your dog's dead oh okay cool i wasn't sitting down for that i don't think there'd be anything that would require me to be sitting to hear like literally nothing but also if the news is so bad that it could actually cripple me i almost want to experience that i actually want to know what it's like to receive news so devastating that you just go Oh my god, yeah. Oh, I love that. Fall to the ground like that to one neighbour.

1800 Bridgerton fans. Imagine if Natasha Belling started incorporating it into the actual news bulletin. Morning, I'm Natasha Belling. You're going to want to sit down for this. 12 new cases. I like it. Adds the drama. Yeah, you love the drama.

You're coming around to it. Now you want drama. Yeah, you love the drama. And you're coming around to it. Now you're into it. I'm into the smallest things now. Can I ask, you guys were saying a Bridgerton full. Abby, Jenna, you've both watched Bridgerton, have you? Should I watch it? I had to stop watching because I was getting so sad that my sex life wasn't that good. Is it really launching? Babe, I was watching it.

I had to masturbate afterwards. The first sex scene, I was like, I like my vibrator. I could like sense, I could feel my vibrator upstairs. You know what I mean? Like I was like, I know she masturbate afterwards. The first sex scene, I was like, I like my vibrator. I could like sense, I could feel my vibrator upstairs. You know what I mean? Like I was like, I know she's up there. So I had to go, I had to come. It was honestly, because the tension builds over like, how many episodes?

Eight episodes, something. It's not until the sixth episode that things get. But what is, so it's like. I burn for you. Yeah. Well, did you get a fucking hard-on for it, Jenna? At the time, I was in Dubbo. The sexiest place on earth.

You've read the slogan, too. Did you have your vush with you? No. You would have had to have used a blonde brick. Just, like, grab one from the side of the road. You need your fingers, you know. You can do acoustic. Acoustic. Or you can use H fingers, you know. You can do acoustic. True, yeah, true. Acoustic.

Or you can use a humpy koala mattress. Yeah, you could. Yeah. No, that would be a silly post-opedic in Dabo. No, it is a silly post-opedic. Because you get a coil in there, you'd be like, ow! Shit. Oh, my God.

So, Bridgerton, is it just because they speak yesteryear, like, cometh on the titth? No. It's because he can't be, he's a fuckboy, he won't be with her. He's like, I love you so much, but I can't marry you. I'd be stroking her nipples right now. I was like, okay. He's like, I love you so much, but I can't marry you.

You know, I love you. And it's like, just be with her. Then he finally does because he has to. And then she's like a virgin. She's not masturbating. She doesn't know what sex is because 1813. Wear a diaphragm. Yeah.

You know, it's just, and he undoes the corset and the delicate materials, everything. It's like Outlander. Is there gay? Yes, there is. There's gay. Yes, he's beheaded in the first three minutes. No, no, yes.

Oh, no, five. But the hottest guy, the hottest guy, Anthony, is gay IRL, which actually is a bigger win for the gays. Very true. Good call. It must be about him because he's the absolute fuckboy actually is a bigger win for the gays. Very true. Good call. It must be him because he's the absolute fuckboy. But you have to watch Bridgerton. We will.

Oh, you have to. I went up to episode six because I cannot watch it anymore. Until I get a boyfriend that fucks me well, I can't do it anymore. I'm on It's a Sin. I just sob every night. Oh, God. We can't just mention that in passing. We need to dedicate a whole episode to that show, Mitchell.

We do. It's a great series for the LGBT of us. It's a sin. Oh. The AIDS epidemic in the 80s. Is that on Stan? It's on Stan. Fucking Ronald Reagan.

Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Nancy Reagan. Fuck you. And she was a lesbian, I think the rumours were. Was she a lesbian? Oh my God. And Thatcher.

Thatcher didn't like the gays. Oh my God. I mean, I was going to say, who does? As a bi. As a bi woman. With two gay men, each straight. Yes. And one straight.

And I'm like, who likes the LGBT? I mean, who does really? Do you, Jenna? Do you like the gays? Can't stand them, can you? I hate them. Jenna has to be an ally. See, Jenna's first husband in one of her past lives

turned out to be a homosexual. I don't want to talk about that, okay? It was 1833. That's true. That's why Jenna likes Bridgerton, because they're auntie and uncle. She's like, I was never around to see them, but I can watch them in there. She's like, no, that pot plant was on the other side of the door frame.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's calling Netflix. They did pretty well. They didn't, no. They did pretty well. They didn't play chess. They did pretty well. No, did you see actually they left one of the yellow marks on the side of the road in post? Oh, did they? Yeah, they didn't edit it out.

Oh, that's so good. We don't need the marks. That's horse and carriage. I know. Anyway, all right. Wow, where did we start? I'm glad that somehow this idiom of yours circled back to sex because remember how we were like, it's a Valentine's Day show,

let's make them all love-related and dating-related. You were like, do you never sit down for bad news? I've got two idgums and one is really sexual and I think funny and interesting and one of them is deep and meaningful. Should we do both? Do both. We have time. Let's rush.

Abby's first idgum. Let's go. Is it just me or? Is anal more intimate than vaginal? Well, in my vast experience as a vaginal. No, I mean, I've done both. Have you? Yeah, you know this. Which one's more intimate?

Well, I mean, one requires preparation and thought and meal choices and it's not spontaneous yeah yes and then there's anal sex it doesn't make sense but uh yeah i don't know it's definitely way more interesting it's more delicate it's more i literally my ex i used to call it emotional anal wow and like i would cry during anal be like i love you oh he's like fucking my ass but in the pussy it would just be like i'm your whore fuck me you know what i mean i found it really interesting i listened to one of your podcast episodes over the summer break you did a best of combo i'm sorry do you need to chop up yes please yeah i love you you did like a compilation of all your how-to's there was what was it there was how to suck dick how to do, how to douche. How to suck dick, how to douche, how to eat pussy.

There you go. And one of them was talking all about your love of anal and I just thought that was so refreshing. I've never really heard a female talk about that sort of thing. I agree. That's why people love you. But did you enjoy it the first time? Yes, because I prepared properly.

I went to the Den in Brisbane, which is like a sex store, and there was a twink working. And I said, I want to do anal. How do I do it? And he gave me the whole rundown, and he was like, you need to enjoy it, prepare for it. Gave me the douche, gave me like a training kit. What made you curious about it in the first place?

I had like a boyfriend of like a year, and he was like 34, and I was like... Did he suggest it, or was it your idea? I don't know. I think I had autonomy in it. idea? I don't know, I think I like fingered my art I had autonomy in that I think Oh sorry, that's your awesome rosé

And then he was like Here's a training kit The different sized plugs And then he said, make yourself come without Anyone else, so I had like a training I had like a boot camp for Miss Twink And then i did the anus and then yes and i come like now it's at a point when i do anal i like have to stop

myself from coming because it feels so fucking good do you know what i mean it's good and you don't even have a prostate because that's one of the perks of being a gay man is that that's where the g-spot is the male g-spot is at the back door it does make sense doesn't it you know what i mean yeah it does make sense it would be nice to get fucked in the ass as a man, but I think it's also like naughty. And also, you put a butt plug in the asshole, your pussy's tighter and therefore... I actually...

You mentioned the butt plug training kit where it's like small, medium and large. You work your way up. So my mate Mitchell here, he's actually deathly afraid of receptive. No, I'm not afraid. I have heard this on the street. It's a word on the street. You have not on the whole street where you are. No, so'm not afraid. I have heard this on the street. It's a word on the street.

You have not on the whole street where you are. So Mitch has always been like, I'm the giver, not the receiver. And I said, no, what you need to understand is that as the top, you can actually be the giver with the plug in the back door and it actually enhances the giving experience. Whilst receiving. And so I got him the small, medium and large kit. I haven't actually asked, have you used it yet?

It's like baby's first butt plug. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's like all the three sizes. I did, we went to try the little one. It looks like a push pop size for reference. Yeah. And I didn't get there, no. Didn't try.

Wait, were you with your partner? Yeah. No, don't do that. What are you worried about? Alone. I'm not worried. I just don't enjoy it no you do you do you literally need to lube it up into it also you're shoving to do really

i'm telling you are you shoving or were you twisting um shoving you were shoving i wasn't sure i know i can look with your eyes did you twist or shove it probably was more of a delicate shove yes you need to do this. She's doing a twist. She's pulling a cork from a blind barrel. And then in further. So do it on my own. And then encourage yourself. Well done, Mitch.

I've got you linen bed sheets and bed threads. Pat on the back. Well done. Pat on the prostate. Well done. Well done. And try and sit on it so your body weight, don't be like doggy style.

Sorry, you want my body weight to put anything inside of me? You'll never see it again. It'll come out my nose. Usually when I get fucked in the ass, I start off by being, because I'm in control, with a real human man, I'll start off on top. Because I'm like, now I can control it. And then I'm like, you know what I mean?

I couldn't be on top. But of your butt plug? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but what I'm saying is like for preparation, I just think you'll a whole new world Ariel style. Can I ask, do you switch between the vajayjay and the backdoor or do you just purely enjoy backdoor nowadays? No, so I haven't had anal for a while.

Okay. You know. Turn that off. Stop, stop, stop. It's just been a bit of a pause To me Yeah But you actually can't switch

Because if you put the Pinos In the anus It's like using chicken and beef On the same chopping board It's yeah It's Gordon Ramsay Like raw and cooked meat

You know what I mean Like it's like Chicken and beef Yeah So it's one or the other Cross content You get back to your vaginosis So

Yeah that's not good You can go vagina to anus You can't go an your vaginosis so you can't go vagina to anus you can't go and then you can't go back so once you start and they have to come and also once i come i'm like get the fuck out of there yeah like as soon as i come i'm like no more time so i have to hold off and not touch my clit because they can't even do this i come but do you get so do you make sure the guys always gets gets off before you because you know you get disinterested as soon as you finish? No, I'll just say you're going to have to come. When I say I'm coming, you have to come.

Okay, time it. Do you know what? I've decided, Mitchell, because I want to get to Abby's deep... Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm next week on the show. I'm going to set aside time. I want to do... It's been a while since I've done an Idjim top five.

Oh, it is, yeah. I'm going to do, like, a top five reasons why you should give it a crack. Because it makes me sad. It makes me desperately sad to think that there's so many men out there that will never experience their own G-spot. Grow up, give it a go, and I'll tell you why. Would you like to add to the list? Another reason why?

Yeah. No, as a woman, why should you give it a go? Why do you love it? It's just a bit naughty, isn't it? Yeah. No, as a woman, why should he give it a go? Why do you love it? It's just a bit naughty, isn't it? Yeah. And it's fun. And also, you're a gay man. We're a bi man, pan man, whatever we are.

We're fucking a man. Yeah, but I know it's there. It's like the chocolate in the pantry. It's like, I know it's there, but I'll just leave it for a cold night. Okay, well, next week. What's a cold night tonight, darling? Go home. Very true.

Go home. Our nipples are flossing. How about... Yes, God, can we talk about fucking Britain again? How about the night of the Arias? I'm going to message you.

Yes. I feel like we don't have time to get into the anal thing, but I'm going to do it next week. It's an Idgim Top 5. What is your second Is It Just Me? I'll play the sound effect.

Is it just me? Or? Is, is going to therapy and knowing about your attachment issues actually making your attachment issues worse? Yep. Wow. It's like, oh, they've dug up something I would rather have kept buried deep within. Babe, everything I do now, like I'll date someone and I'll be like,

am I pulling back because I don't like them or am I pulling back because I have attachment issues am I anxious or am I anxious avoidant like I try to categorize every action that I do I think am I being anxious or anxious avoidant because I I've always been anxious but lately I'm like I just want to block them if something goes wrong and I'm like am I turning into anxious avoidant or is that just normal? Do I not like them or am I pulling away because I can't? Do you know what I mean? It's very, I'm over it. I've thought so much about my attachment issues.

I'm just done. So what's anxious avoidant for anyone who's not familiar with that? So if you're anxious avoidant, it means you're the worst of both worlds, the opposite of Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana. You are, so anxious is like needy, classically needy. Avoidant is classically like. Like me. I guess fuck boys would be like avoidant,

where it's like you just have a wall up and you can't talk about your emotions. Jenna. Anxious is like, you like love people so much. And then when they love you back, and when they love you back, you're like, fucking see ya, cunt. That's me.

Yeah, that's me. Oh my God god that is you That is me Is it I won't talk to you After this Abby No but do you think Knowing about it

Because now everything I do Like everything I do I think that's very anxious Of you That's very important That's very And secure Like

And then I meet someone And I go Oh they're secure And they aren't secure And I think Ooh But maybe everyone's Just a little bit messed up

I'm the same I'm like I identify A really A certain'm the same. I'm like, I identify a really, a certain behaviour of mine and I'm like, where's my list of problems? Mitch is good like that. Is it my autism spectrum disorder? Is it my anxiety? Is it my depression?

Is it my attention deficit disorder? Which disorder? Which syndrome? You see, with me, right, I try to avoid thinking, oh, which category does that fall into? That's smart. That's why my therapist is like, make sure you do your journals and stuff. I hate that.

I'm like, no, I really can't do a journal. I don't want to dig into that. It feels like extra homework at the end of the day. I'm about to drift off to sleep. I'm like, fuck it in journal. Yes. She has journal. My therapist is like sick. They off to sleep. I'm like, fuck it in journal. Yes. She has journal. My therapist is like sick.

They try. My therapist at times says, what the fuck, Abby? And I said, sorry, Dr. Lee. Like, she's so cool. I've heard so many stories about Dr. Lee. She sounds sick. I remember when we first posted those videos on TikTok, kicking off the whole Tinder swap thing, you said that you have a severe attachment injury.

What does attachment injury mean? Injury? Well, like, so my dad left when I was born. Yeah. And one time I was dating, actually, and he said, no wonder your dad left you when you were born. Oh, that's fine. And I said, let's leave it here.

And he said, no, it's a huge red flag that he didn't love you enough to stay. And I was like, I was four months old. But anyway. I was an infant. My lungs weren't developed, let alone my ability to love i couldn't hold up my own neck yeah let alone you you can't like what the fuck no but it means like there's been a big trauma in your life whether it's like abuse abandonment um one really bad relationship it could be anything could be in touch with injury which has made you be anxious or avoidant or like

fearful and it's like going forward after that particular event, it's an injury because it's kind of irreversible. It's always with you. So because my dad left, I'm anxious. So I try to make everyone happy all the time that I'm with so they won't leave me. So I'm like, I will put up with things and be like, well, as long as you're still around, it's okay. Is that just relationships?

Because I know you're a bit of a simp or like friends as well. I'm such a simp. I know. Friends, friends, yeah, also. Okay. But not as much as relationships. But I feel like you can cut people off, right? Like, I feel like you'd be great at being like,

I'm done with you. No, I don't have grudges at all. Really? People have been the worst things to me, and I go, okay. Yeah. You know what I mean? You're so sweet.

Abandonment issues vibes. Everyone's like, she's desperate. I'm not desperate. I'm just like, when I like someone, I tell them them much i like them all the time but not even like i was consciously to be like stay with me but also because i want them to know because i would like to know yeah you know question do you think your perfect partner is out there or no there is someone and you're both gonna have to sort of make adjustments to meet in the middle and be like yes we'll work no i think we round up to the one.

Yes. Dan Savage. Have you heard Dan Savage? No. He's a podcaster. Yeah. And you have like a 0.8. Like you find a 0.8.

I agree with that. And you have a price for admission where you're like, I'm willing to sacrifice like my non-negotiables. I can sacrifice one of them. And one of them is, I don't know, mustache. Yes. And you go, I am mo- am mo phobic but you know i'll i'll let this slide i know what you mean yeah so someone is out there but it's 0.8 i like that that's cool which is there's multiple there's like the range i could accept would be 0.7 up

yeah so we can you know we can take some things and we can work on them but also am i just being desperate right now you know what what I mean? Yeah. Like, who the fuck knows? Yeah. Then I start grading them in my head. Yes. I'm like, what? Are you 0.87 or 0.89?

You have to have a notebook you get from Kiki K and be like, James with a 0.3. Lucas with a 7. He was close. You have to carry it around everywhere you go. Yeah. No, I think being hyper aware is actually being bad for me. So I'm trying to not categorize my actions or others actions but it's hard to know it's hard to know when i'm doing things yeah okay want to them also it's hard with boundaries i'm like i'm very anxious attached i

need a lot of reassurance and what such am i being wasn't being needy and what's gonna mean like having boundaries yeah i know it's a it's a lot of trial and error i imagine yeah and that's why we go on tinder dates yeah and do it on national tv abby maybe you should try that yeah you'll be fine you don't need to apply babe imagine you just text osha like i thought so, promo on the air. Would you do it? Bachelorette. Yeah, Bachelorette. You said the other day that Bachelorette needs to aim for more diversity

and you don't want to be another blue-eyed blonde, which I thought was interesting. Can you imagine? There's been like six blue-eyed blondes that are all size 8, blue-eyed blondes between 5'4 and 5'7. No, you're a no strawberry blonde though. That could be a point of difference. She looks horrified.

Strawberry blonde? Yeah, a bit of orange. How very dare you. How dare you. No. That is disgusting. It is. She's laughing.

I'm happy to let this do the other. Sorry. Yeah, no, I mean, Bachelorette. No, we need diversity. We need someone who's either not white or at least like a size 14. Like just something. Well, Pauline was saying how she would love to do it. And I would love to see her do it.

It's when you should be perfect. Petty Fleur. I love Petty Fleur. Petty Fleur. She's brilliant. And she's, you know, she's not Fleur She's brilliant And she's You know She's not 25

She's a real housewife For those international That would be so cool And she has Personality in spades And she's also She'd be like No

Like she'd be like Not interested Like she would be so rude Yeah She'd be so rude Petty Fleur Or Pauline The Bachelorette

Bachelorette 2022 Yeah And Abbey for Queen of the Jungle Well that's polite of you I won't do it But here are some other people That might be interested Oh I don't die Public dating For Bachelorette. Bachelorette. 2022. Yeah. And Abby for Queen of the Jungle. Well, that's polite of you. I won't do it, but here are some other people that might be interested. Oh, I'm going to die. Public dating.

Honestly, I will not ever admit to dating someone until I'm moved in with them from now on. Fair. I can't. Well, in the interest of keeping our dating lives private, let's talk about our Tinder stuff, hey? Let's get into it. Good segue. Is it just me? Abby Chatfield, welcome to Is It Just Me?

Thanks for filling in for the other Mitch today. As you guys know, I've listened to many podcasts in my time, including Not My Cup of Tea. Oh, our old show. The old show. Yeah, the other Mitch doesn't like the old show being brought up. He's like the scorned ex. Oh, but so upsetting.

I mean, to be fair, I listened to that and not your other show, so maybe that was a better show. I don't want to say anything, but maybe not. You fucking turncoat. I knew that Mitch would get upset by that. I'm so sorry. I love you. Thank you.

Real chemistry. Do you want to kiss through the mics? Now the show is fine, but I mean, it got cancelled for a reason. Let's go to the reviews. Let's go to Mayfam. Mayfam leaves a review. Constantly laughing, they say, which sounds like a fucking hell to me. This is my favourite podcast.

I started listening in Ep 29. I've spent the holiday period listening from the beginning. Oi, episode 29. That's when Abby filled in when you were away. God, you've got a good memory. So they started listening when you were on last time, and now here you are again. So really you should thank me.

Yeah. Wow. You got them in, but we kept them. So team effort, right, Jenna? Yeah. Thank you, Mayfam. Mayfam, we'll send you out a prize. Well done.

Well done. Yay. I'm glad they stuck with us all the way through to 55. AG156D. I think I've got that Canon camera. Absolute Legends. This podcast is the best way to help pass the time in my Year 12 maths class.

Love listening to you guys every week. And your Is It Just Me segments always give me really good topics to give people when having a dull convo. Anal. Next best one for today. Year 12 maths teacher. Commit my issues. Mr. Smith, just a quick question. Get more vaginal.

More intimate. Go. What's your relationship like with your prostate? It's interesting that they are saying that they can listen during a maths class i dropped maths before year 12 kids these ages impress me i was really good at maths i'm not gonna say anything what did you do what about probably economics i wasn't financial analyst before this oh yeah of course i came here right today what What about English? Were you good at that?

Yep. Oh, best of both worlds. What was your creative writing like? Because mine was always very ridiculous. Very bad. I would always do essays instead, like persuasive debates. Yeah. Yeah.

Did you do debating? Good job. No, you know what? I think we would have been best high school friends. And maybe been in love in year 10, but then I would have been gay. And then I'd be like, I love him no matter what. And he would come out to me and be like, are you poor thing?

And I would have gone, no, I'm so glad he's found himself. Oh, that's exactly what would have happened. That's exactly what would have happened. Were you a school leader in any capacity? No. Okay. I wasn't because I had three jobs in grade 12. Of course.

So I wasn't really involved in school. Everyone else was like rich and like went like away for holidays. And I was like working at ice cream shops, multiple. Cold rock. Oi, speaking of your past lives. Jenna. Yes, actually. Last time you were on, Abby, you revealed your hidden talent to us, I suppose.

You're kind of a psychic, but rather than predicting the future, you're able to envision people's past. I've got a bit of a grab. One thing you should know about our Jenna here is that she has actually lived multiple lives. She was alive in the 1700s. So she's all about history. She was there through all of it. Yes. Oh, Abby looks excited. Okay, this is twisted. I had this thing, this weird thing where everyone that I meet, everyone that I meet, I will imagine them in the 18th century really everyone that i see i'll imagine what they would have been and i believe it's because i had a past life in the 18th century i give people

full backstories my best friend was a french aristocrat but she was she was bougie but she wasn't like so she got made fun of because she was like kind of povo where where are you where did you live in the 1700s i'm gonna go to go. Were you in English? You seemed like an English. Yeah, you were English. Yeah, the countryside. Yeah. No, I was going to say northern. You were northern.

Northern. But in like a weird little castle. Yeah, northern in a castle. Yeah. Okay. So I'm not going to lie, guys. I think Mitchell was a bit of a cunt. That's true.

He was. Something's never changed, babe. You know me. I think it's actually just the hair that you have in right now, babe. Oh, that's very close. You look like George Washington. Oh, I know what you mean now. I'm with you, okay.

You look like an American southerner. You look like an American southerner in the 1700s. Therefore, it confuses my vibes. What about our Prime Minister, Scott Morrison? Does he have a backstory in your mind? I think ScoMo, I think he was a Scottish pig farmer and I think he really

enjoyed his time on the farm but he was an outcast in society and that's why in his life now he's trying to be a public figure because he was a lonesome pig farmer previously. I don't know if I'm a psychic or what. Is it a psychic ability when you're not predicting the future,

you're like forecasting the past when no one can prove you wrong? Okay, that stopped coming for me. It's a talent. At the very least. Interesting. Yes, that talent was revealed back in episode 29. Mitchell wasn't here. No, he wasn't.

Now that you're both in the same room, would you like to let us know what do you think Mitch's past life was? I've got some psychic music for you. Island, 1841. What's he wearing? Pantaloons and a blouse. Mitch walks out. He has a scroll in his hands.

A cinnamon? He is. Cinnamon scroll? Shush. Don't interrupt the process. He is the town crier. Hear ye!

Hear ye! The king! The class! And all his band! Oh god, that's him entering the office every day. Hi, guys. Oh, he's so loud.

He sucks the town crier. So it was you. You did announce my father's death. Oh, I remember it like it was yesterday. William D. Hedges. Beheaded. I actually listened to it. To be fair, I was kind of cheating on that one.

Yeah. It was a new podcast that I called Jobs Elite. Oh. And it was about jobs that had been like, they don't exist anymore. And one was a town crier. Oh. And, you know, they were actually, a lot of them were blind.

Yep. That's true. Get out. They were blind. Why? Because it was like their form of like the doll. Like they were like, you can't do much work because it's 1841. The Centrelink in the day. And they were like, so you'd be the town crier isn't that nice of them so the town crier is like

the king is coming three days yeah here taxes are raised oh yeah the milk flu is back yeah yeah yeah yeah and that's you pantalons andons and all. I can absolutely picture it. I'm not going to question that at all. You're so fucking loud. So am I. Babe, I could be a town crier. Okay, I'm over that. Could you be a town crier?

Jenna, give us your rendition. No, I was never a town crier. There's a bell over there. Grab it. Jenna! Hey! The fuck just happened? So here you come, Jenna.

You don't know the history. Here he is! Here he is! Wow. You weren't there. I was. No, but you two were. And there's some resentment.

I've just reminded you of something. There was a past life regression. Well, your dad didn't deserve to die. No, he didn't. But you announced it. And that's where the term don't. But you announced it. And that's where the term don't shoot the messenger comes from. Why?

Because he would shoot the town crier if they were talking about or like they'd kill the town crier. Really? That, he'd shoot them. Oh, babe, I don't like how fast you are on the sound effects. It scares me.

Oh, there's a long backstory to that. Don't get me started. Mitch hates it. Oh, my God. You've been here for too long. No, we haven't. We've been here for... Oh, no.

Three seasons. This is been here for too long. No, we haven't. We've been here for... Oh, no. Three seasons. This is the third season, yes. One other thing that I wanted to double check with you. As a follow-up to the last time you were here, I remember I've got this running list of things better than drugs and dick, right? Every guess I get them to add to it. And last time you literally was like, I can't think of anything better than drugs and dick.

You? All right, you get back to me and you never did. So I feel like think of anything better than drugs and dick. You? All right, you get back to me and you never did. So I feel like you've had some time in the jungle. You've learnt to appreciate the small things in life. Can you think of anything better than drugs and dick? Is it drugs and dick together or is drugs and dick separately? Separately. So drugs and or dick.

This is the list so far. We've got a wheat bag fresh out of the microwave. Taking socks off in bed. That was Morgan and Mary from Oh Dear. Melted cheese. That was Tony Lodge. Go up, everyone. And then we've got Abby Chatfield chose not to contribute.

You're disgusting. Wait, what did we do? We've added some. Give us some better options. A wide street. Oh, yes. You're new to Sydney. Fresh sheets. Fresh sheets is on Sydney. An easy point too. So, yeah.

Fresh Sheets. Fresh Sheets is on there. Yes. A good book smell. A really good quality fruit cutting knife to slice through the bastard with ease. A paring knife. Scam pan. Lebanese bread with Nutella. Is it like hyperbole?

Because it doesn't feel like those things are better than drugs and dick. Okay, she's still not going to contribute. No. Really? I mean, what about... It's like appreciating the small things in life, like a bit of mindfulness. Cut, but say what about MDMA?

That is drugs. That's drugs. What about a fresh butt plug? Do you know what? That's not drugs. That's not dick. I'm going to add it. That's going on the list.

That's boring. I don't like that. What one? It's not very smart or witty of me. What's better than drugs or dick? Guys, I'm going to have to come back again. What do you do on like a self-care day? What's your like, oh, I'll just do something really quaint and wholesome to enjoy myself?

Okay. This is, you know what? This. Oh, she's got one. Yay. For me, it's better than drugs and dick. Go on. Together.

Yeah. Combined. Not even all. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Ten of them. Okay. When you get a pedicure and you have the beginnings of an ingrown toenail and they cut it out. And they pull down the crevasse. I got one pedicure today and I watched them. Give us a look. Oh, lovely. That's beautiful.

Oh, they have some nice toes. That is beautiful. I know the feeling. It's added. That's a. Oh, they have some nice toes. That is beautiful. I know the feeling. It's added. That's a good one. Consider it added to the list. Good contribution. Not as good as MDMA, though.

All right. We need to discuss your outstanding work as Tinder. What are you? Tinder lovebirds? Tinderellas. Oh, I like that. Yes. Don't you want to chop your head?

No, God, no. Sheinderellas. Oh, I like that. Yes. Don't drop your head. No, God, no. She should be in radio. What's going on there? Because I see the ads. People message me, go, is this your friend, Mitch? I've just started saying no. Yeah, look, for those who aren't in the loop, Abby and I agreed to do this phone swap thing

where we would set each other up on blind dates. There were three of them. If you head to our TikToks, you'll see all three dates. They were filmed, which is new territory for me. Abby's on The Bachelor. She's bloody, she's had her dates filmed. I've never had that happen before. And so the whole idea was just to kind of have a friend

giving you a bit of a push outside your comfort zone because my idea of a date is very boring. Let's go to a restaurant. Let's go to a bar. Let's go to a bar. Very plain Jane. So we were like, okay, let's do some out there things. Swapping tinders. I gave her the best experiences ever, mind you.

Gin tasting, going to the beach. I did see that. Setting her up with a woman for the first time as a bisexual. Gorgeous, very funny. She seemed so nice. What did I get? I got a tennis match. You know what you got, Mitch? You got content. I did, I did. She seemed so nice. What did I get? I got a tennis match. You know what you got Mitch?

You got content. I did, I did. I did get content. Everything is content. And so I wanted to check in while you were here and just be like okay where are we at? Looking back on the whole thing, all these dates, all this Tinder swapping later, what are we feeling? Did you get any bites with the guys?

I got a bite. I had Carlo, the damaged one that I liked the most. Abby does love a damaged boy. Oh, damaged boy. That's why she's here. A tall, damaged boy that just can't commit. What makes him damaged, by the way? He actually isn't.

He's, like, super secure and weird. He's just very, like, emotional, which is nice. Swipe left. Okay. Yeah, no, but he brought with him some berries and chocolate with a cold pack in the bag. And you were like, we're going to be friends. Well, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I was like, I wish you'd come with like a cigarette and like you didn't look at me when we spoke. You know what I mean? Like, why be nice to me? It was weird. But it was nice. I mean, Carla was nice.

We went to a motel afterwards. Motel, not hotel. Not hotel. An M. A motel. Are you okay with the word mo? Motel, not hotel. Not hotel. An M. Sounds groovy. Are you okay with the word mo? Motel? Triggered.

Nope. No, so it was fun. But haven't seen him again. You know, we're still single. We're still looking. But I liked the dates because we got some experiences. We started the year right, some may say. Do you know what?

That's actually the biggest thing for me because I've always been a little bit clingy, right? Where as soon as I meet someone or like start talking to them on Tinder, I like start picturing our wedding and like our future together. Happily ever after. Do you picture introducing them to me? Am I supposed to? Yeah. What about me? Yeah, absolutely.

Jenna, you're the flower girl at the wedding that I picture. Oh yeah. No, we already agreed on this. Flower girl? No, we agreed on this. Jenna would have dried bones. She'd just be sprinkling them on the ground. Yes, that're the flower girl at the wedding that I picture. Oh, yeah, no, we already agreed on this. The flower girl? No, we agreed on this. Jenna would have dried bones. She'd just be sprinkling them on the ground. Yes, that's the plan.

What? I'm already saucing the bones. Anyway, I've always been the type that when I go on a date, I'm like, oh, I'm only going to date them if they're like a partner. You know, I'm trying to find a husband here. Yes. But I think the biggest takeaway from this whole phone swap thing, setting each other up on Tinder dates, was that it is actually okay to meet up with someone.

It may or may not lead to something, you know, like you could be a Tinder success story like you and Hayden, or you could never see each other again. And it's still not a waste of time because you got like a good experience out of it. So it's like a win-win. For someone who hasn't been on Tinder in a while, like going on three years, I'm like, oh, if I was single, I would use Tinder. Like I actually would use Tinder. Exactly.

Because it's not about hookups. It's about experiences. Am I ever going to forget the tennis date? No. No. No matter how hard I try. I wasn't even there and I wouldn't. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry, Jodie. No, but at least now you've got a story, a funny story. I went on a date. Tennis. And $80,000 each. Yeah. So it was a good experience. I love how awkward we get whenever they...

Don't cut this out. Anyway, I think that's what I'm looking forward to in 2021. Just more experiences and less expectation. I don't have to marry the guy. I can just have fun, you know? No, but also I feel like going on dates, you can find out what you do and don't want. Like I realised Dr. Matt was so lovely and I was like,

I want elements Dr. Matt. That would be great. There are men out there and women. Women assumed a good, men assumed a bad. So to me, in my head. So there are obviously amazing women out there for me. Yeah, but men are terrible until proven otherwise. Right.

And there are some nice men, question mark. Why? And it's like, they were nice. Yeah, there are. They might not have been for you, but they were nice and cool and funny and you could talk to them. Whereas I kind of assume everyone sucks except for me and my friends. What was unexpected?

Like, what did you go, oh my God, I would never have normally matched with this person on Tinder, but here we are. And I enjoyed it. liked my all my dates i liked having a virtual date with um cash the girl okay yeah i've never had a girl date before i've slept with girls i've never had like a girl date oh but no worries can do drop that down tick um i mean you know being oh i know i don't know i can never tell if I like girls because I like them as people or because I like them like them. Thoughts?

How do you decide for that? Well, I'm the same. Like, I, as a general rule, much prefer women as a species. I just don't want to root them. It's really tricky. Like, I just, they're so much better. They're so much better. So much better.

So much better. See, I'm the same. I prefer women. But the thing is, I like all of them. Yeah. But I'm like, I i love i have a lot of female friends and i'm like i would never sleep my female friends so how do i know the difference yeah and girls i've slept with i've just slept with them and i'm like you're really hot thing

yeah yeah what about you we heard about your favorite dates what about your least favorites and not like looks wise but like vibe and personality and maybe not clicking the virtual date was good for the fact that i could have like a ring light and look really pretty which i can't do at like a bar or whatever but the guy you set me up with oh my god i know the opposites attract but we did not attract we couldn't be more opposite wait which one did you see the video with james the one that was like my favorite food is anchovies i was like anchovy breath yeah no thanks oh and he didn't know who shania twain was that's not well an An instant no. See, all my dates were wonderful.

Like, I loved all my dates. Must be nice. But it's so boring. It's so boring. Like, he did really well. I tried my hardest. But no, all my dates were really good. So I'm like, it's not very interesting though to say though, is it?

He was lovely. Don't get me wrong. But I literally didn't know what to talk to him about. And I think he was the same. We just had no idea what to talk about. We had nothing in common at all. That's so bad. Shania Twain would have been

a bad one. If everything worked out well, what were we going to play at our wedding? I already have picked the Shania Twain song I'm playing at my wedding. He has no say in it. From this moment on, get out. You showed me Shania Twain.

You showed me You're Still The One. That's now my song. That's a good one one That's an anniversary song After you've been married a few years That's a really good one That's beautiful I love that Mine was probably I mean

Dr. Matt I loved him He was amazing I mean he's the high and the low Right We just keep circling back to him Am I obsessed with him? Which one?

Was it Matt Agnew? Was it Matt Agnew? No I really liked him. It was like perfect on paper vibes. Fun, but I was like, I don't know babe, like, I don't think he was forceful enough or broken enough. He seemed

so put together. That's not you. Ew, you know what I mean? Nothing to fix. No, nothing to fix. What am I going to do on the weekends? Fashion project? Where? It was nice to go out there. Are you going on more dates? Are you going to keep swiping? Yes, actually. Oh, definitely. Oh, can I just say, sorry, this is not even part of the whole brand deal thing.

I've got Tinder, what is it? Is it Tinder Plus? No, the one above that, Tinder Gold. Shit. Is it Tinder Platinum? Hold on. Well, you can see your matches before they see you. Yeah, so it gives you.

Really? Let me double check what the actual... You can swipe through people that have already swiped for you, so you know guaranteed or rejection. So you know when you're on Tinder normally, when you're on Tinder normally, you just swipe through and it's like, oh, yeah. Are they going to swipe back?

Oh, let down. They didn't swipe back. So I'm on the premium one, I think it's called, and it's literally giving you a list of people that have already swiped right. So it's like a guarantee. It's like a menu. What do I have tonight? Alright, I'll chat to you right here

right now. Bang. And then I'm already matched. But you don't see the people who've rejected you. No, no, no. Why would you? It wouldn't be good. No, I'm glad. I'm glad. So true. Well, guys, I love the Tinder girl. Tinder girl, that's called. Sorry to double check. Like Abba. Abba girl. Oh, beautiful. Such the best Abba. Abba. Abbie, full circle. Abba. Sorry to double check. Like ABBA. ABBA gold. Oh, beautiful. Such the best ABBA.

ABBA. ABBA. ABBA. ABBA. Full circle. ABBA. We've done it. This is a podcast.

A ABBA podcast. If you haven't seen the Tinder dates we went on, head to mine and ABBA's TikTok accounts. All three dates are there. They were filmed. They were broadcast on display publicly, right? And so anyone that listens to this podcast, they were broadcast on display publicly, right? And so anyone that listens to this podcast, they know that I don't like to get out much. So

if I can do it, you can do it. If you haven't gotten amongst the Tinder thing yet, give it a crack. Amen. What have you got to lose, guys? I mean, I've been rejected three times on TV and I keep going. 100%. I keep it going. Cheers to Abby Chapman. Yay! Cheers! Thank you for listening to Ep 2. It's not Ep 2.

What is this? 55. It's Ep 2 of the new season. Guys, leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, where you can, Facebook. Everyone we read out will get something. And Mitch and I and Jenna over the break, merch is being discussed.

Merch march is coming, guys. Do you need merch for my people? No, I think there might be some. Rash vests are on the way. Jenna, they did not have enough lycra in the country to get Rash Vests for our listeners. We couldn't do the Rash Vests. No, we don't know yet.

TBC on the Rash Vests. Another reminder, guys. Merch March is on the way. Merch March is coming. How exciting. Rash Shirts. Abby, it was a pleasure. Congratulations again on the Jungle.

You're a superstar. Can you do a big celebrity endorsement? Hi, I'm Abby Tatchfield and I can't wait for Merch March. Merch March? And also, can you mention the rash shirts? Don't. Please. I can't wait for some rash shirts during Merch March.

Hi. Abby! Okay, so if this was a challenge on the jungle. I'd fucking be sent home. Hi. It starts so strong though. Hi. I'll fade it out.

I'll fade it out. Wait, wait, wait. What do you want me to say? You want me to say I'm Merch March. Is it just me? And I'm excited for Merch March. On the Is It Just Me podcast. Is It Just Me podcast.

But just wing it. I'm excited for the rash shirt. I'm excited for the rash shirt specifically. Yes. Ignore her. No, no, please. Do you want the fade in or do you want me to bra? I'm excited for the rash shirt I'm excited for the rash shirt specifically Yes, ignore her Do you want the fade in or do you want me to bra up? I want to bra up Okay, bra up Too many wines

Here we go Hi, I'm Abby Chatfield Hi, I'm Abby Chatfield. Hi, I'm Abby Chatfield, and I'm so excited for Merch March from Is It Just Me? I'm so excited specifically about the rush shirts. Have a great day, guys. Again, it's Abby Chatfield, Queen of the Jungle. Thank you. That was enough.

I was crying. I wish it was okay. Brilliant. My producer and podcast would go, now try it like this. Hi, I'm Abby Chatfield and I'm excited. Imagine having a producer on a podcast. How's it with that be? I know.

What a lousy groundskeeper. I'll never know. Now we're an iHeartRadio exclusive. We don't have a producer. It's just us. It's all right. Anyway, thanks for coming in, darling. It's been lovely iHeartRadio exclusive. We don't have a producer. It's just us. It's all right. Anyway, thanks for coming in, Zala. It's been lovely to see you in the flesh.

I'm always left out. She's tucked in the corner. Jenna! You're in the coffin for these boys. I'm so sorry. I'm always left out. Abby, where can people follow you? Abby Chatfield on all socials.

Abby Chatfield. I'm also Shadowban, so really search for me. Really find me. And it's a lot pod. Tag me in a post. Go to the boys podcast Instagram. And then... Go to Jenna's Instagram.

And Jenna will tag me. Give me shit. And then you can go from there to my Instagram. Or my podcast. It's not lovely chat field. I might get it on soon. Oh my God. We would be there with bells on.

But I'm over. Are we deep enough for your podcast though? Babe, 2021 is fun for me. I said reindeer poo today, but I pooed a reindeer poo on someone's dick. Oh, you're naughty. Anal problems, Mitchell. What's reindeer poo? I shat on someone's cock.

You like to go listen. It involves a sink? I put the poo in the sink. I pooed. Babe, listen. I pooed. I pooed. After a sink I put the poo in the sink Did you? I pooed Babe listen I pooed I pooed After anal

I pooed There was a little poo That came up And I panicked So I ran to the sink Pooed in the sink And I ran to the toilet And it was

And it looked like a grape A grape Because we had a cheese ball At the room service It was the whole thing Oh I I just thought it was a bad joke But no it's a real thing

And you can hear that On music It's a lot It's a But no, it's a real thing. And you can hear that on it a lot. It's a lot. True to its name. Abby Chatfield, we love you. Thank you for coming on. I love you. We love chemistry.

We love chemistry. Chemistry is hard. We will see you guys next week. Love you. All right. Catch you then. Bye-bye. See ya.

Is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app. Or follow on Spotify. Welcome to AD Debrief. This is the secret segment on the end, I should say. This is so secret, in fact, that Abby doesn't even know. I didn't let her on last time either. That's probably right. Last time she filled in on the show, she didn't stick around for ADD brief. Does anyone else feel like they've just had a minor stroke?

That's very plausible for you, so be careful. I need to take a deep breath. It's a lot. It's a lot. What do you mean? Just that whole experience. That's how I feel working with you every week. That's a lot. It's a lot. What do you mean? Just that whole experience. That's how I feel working with you every week. That's not fair. God. I thought we had this understanding that sometimes we make jokes at each other's expense. Don't get all upset. I'm fragile.

Fragile. Can't even press the buttons. I'm a bit drunk. Let's see what my finger does. Oh, that's from the Christmas Eve love. See? I can't function. Every time she complimented your sound effects, I'd kick her under the desk.

Shut the fuck up, Abby. She did like them, didn't she? I had a lot ready to go. That's because, you know, new season. I'm geared up. I'm ready to go. The applause was there. That's not you.

You know what I hate about applauses like this, Freddie? One person whistling? Yes. I'm just jealous I can't do it. I can do a good whistle. Go on. Do it. Announce something.

Pretend we're at the AFL or something. Sorry, I don't know what to say at the AFL. Yeah, you're at a concert. Go, go, concert. Who announces something at a concert? She kind of just arrives on stage singing her song You're an Anzac Dawn service I knew you wouldn't whistle

Imagine that And now, Graham Wilson from the 3rd Battalion You dirty dog That was actually a good whistle though I get very wet You're dribbling So I'm doing the two fingers You dirty dog. That was actually a good whistle, though. I get very wet. That was very good. Yeah, you have to finger him now. You're dribbling.

So I'm doing the two fingers in the two sides of the mouth. Ready? From my water polo days. I mentioned them last week. No, no, no. It's a talent. Then I can do the, you know, the A-OK. Jenna, you don't have to gag.

She was like deep throat in the mic she goes oh actually tickle the back of my throat jenna your nails are in the way it's never gonna work she's bleeding she's cut her gums you know the a-okay the like the symbol for i'm all good. Like the Italian chef thing. I can do that one. Can you do the... Like when you're getting a dog? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also... We've discussed how good of a whistler I am naturally, right?

Honestly, we've never discussed that. I learn something new every day. This is a talent that I've got. Give me a song now. One that I'll know. Memory from Cats. No, no, no. Okay. I got it. Oh, no, no. Okay.

I got it. Oh, now you've done it. Now I want a new song. I want a new song. Okay. Poker Face. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. You do the melody. No. Oh, what can we do? Oh, uh. What song we can do? Where do you want to go? I just had that stroke.

Why are you always in the mood? How the fuck am I supposed to... It's all I can think of. What about this? Okay, I'll do the... Okay, I'll do the... Okay, okay. What the fuck? You skipped... You missed a line.

What about the bit at the end? Give me a pop song. This is my challenge. Sorry, that's pretty pop, brah. That's not pop. What about fur release? Huh? Oh.

What's a song we can duet? I can do this one too, ready? What about shallow? I'm trying to think of a song with good um vibrato yeah you do the gaga bit i have to do my show fuck that we're doing this I don't know how to harmonise that because you keep going out of key. I'm fucking whistling. I'm not in a big band. I'm trying to find... His notes are wrong.

No, the Oscar's orchestra. It was wrong. I'm trying to find a song that we can harmonise to. We don't have the time. Yes, we do. I'm on air in three minutes. No, you're not. You can't whistle or count.

Let's harmonise this. No, get rid of that. We don't have the time, I'm telling you. I might have to wrap the show. What's he looking for? The key. I googled the key. I googled songs with good harmonies.

The key. Fifth Harmony? I don't know. This would be great if I had confidence that you knew the song, but how great would it be to whistle the harmonies to Endless Love by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie? I do like that song, but I great would it be to whistle the harmonies to Endless Love by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie. I do like that song, but I can't hit the note.

Yeah, I knew it. Neither can you. Give me a go. That's off key. I think you'll find that was perfect, actually. No. You pick a note And just hold it B

B minor It doesn't matter what it is Just go There we go That's all I wanted Oh There we go Sounded like a fire alarm

But thank you guys I appreciate it I just wanted to prove That we could harmonise something It's like one of those mosquito coils Why is it that I can't find any songs That have good harmonies appreciate it. I just wanted to prove that we could harmonise something. It's like one of those mosquito coils. Why is it that I can't find any songs that have good harmonies in it? Like, I just Google, oh, the best harmonies, the best duets, and they all suck. Bullshit.

Sorry. Untouched by the Veronica's. Oh. Hold on. Get rid of the backing music. It's confusing me. That'll do Now wrap this shit up Beautiful See you next week everyone

Happy Valentine's Day Thank you to Abbey Chatfield for coming on And we'll see you next week for episode three I need to stop saying three Because I feel like we've just started again No we haven't started again What are we up to? What will next week for episode three. I need to stop saying three because I feel like we've just started again. No, we haven't started again. What are we up to? What will next week be?

58? No. You're the only person I know that just confidently guesses things when you don't know. What's his name again? Glenn? No, it's Ray. If you don't know, just confidently guess. I agree.

It's 56. It's 56. 56. Next week. And I'm going to be doing the top five reasons that you should consider. Butt play. Yeah. Yeah. Receptive. next week and I'm going to be doing the top five reasons that you should consider butt play yeah yeah receptive

gotta fight the war on butt play you gotta open your mind and otherwise open someone else if that's what they're trying to get me to do

don't they that was very much implied in my joke it was very funny sorry alright bye everyone see you next week bye bye

bye That was very funny, sorry. All right, bye everyone. See you next week. Bye-bye. Bye.