Is It Just Me? - #63: Kink Class

Episode Date: April 26, 2021

Oh heeeey, we're back!In this episode:Souvenir shopping (05:38)The dangers of vaping (09:37)Red Rooster Reviews (14:54)Kink Class (17:49)**TRIGGER WARNING** This discussion about 'Blood Play' may not be suitable for all listeners (26:03)**SAFE TO RESUME** (29:19)Our "Secret Segment" ADDebrief (37:06) Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Television legend Kerri-Ann Kennelly fell several metres from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pippet. Some things make more sense than others. Ring Pike's Nurseries. What nursery? Pike's. P-Y-K-E-S. P-Y-A. K as in kill.

P-Y-A. K as in kill. P-Y-E. K! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. What about me?

Don't forget Chin-O. Who? Now, here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coombs. Yes, we are. We're back. Hey, we're back. Hello. Thanks for tuning in.

I'm back too. Yes. What did I say? Vital part of the show? Yes. Groundskeeper Jenna is here. Hello. Excuse me.

Are you forgetting the change of job title? Oh, fuck. Yeah. What is it again? Prizekeeper Jenna. Prizekeeper Jenna. Prizekeeper Jenna. Oh, and people are loving your new role. Everyone left writing, Santa, thanks, Prizekeeper, got my prize, got my prize.

Yeah, they're actually receiving their prizes. It's unbelievable. It's like she's actually doing her job. Hi, guys. I'm feeling, see, I'm very, I'm just loosey-goosey. I'm feeling very relaxed. Yeah, I saw you having a gay old time up in Queensland on Instagram. Yeah, we'll keep it ambiguous.

I was having a nice, relaxing time time with my partner and I loved it. I had a great time. Okay, so when you were sharing a bed with your gay boyfriend, where were you staying? They, we had a great time. We had so much fun. Like we did all the theme parks. Like it was classic, like Gold Coast trip. I noticed that.

I noticed that. I was like, are they something that you do when you're adults and you don't have kids? Yeah. Oh, that's exactly what we said. We go, we are going to be screwed when we have kids because the screaming and the yelling and the food consumption, that won't change much. But the amount of attention you need to give kids at a theme park is through the roof. And Hayden and I were just running through the lines.

We're doing fast pass. It was great. Dream world, movie world, sea world. We did them all. I'm feeling very relaxed. You're on the other hand, very tense. You've got a wheat bag on fast pass. It was great. Dream world, movie world, sea world. We did them all. I'm feeling very relaxed. You're on the other hand very tense. You've got a wheat bag on your shoulder. Look, I was feeling rested

after our Easter break, but I really have myself to blame only. I kind of undid all the rest over the weekend. I went clubbing two nights in a row. I'm not built for clubbing two nights in a row. I just don't know what I was thinking.

I got a bit excited because, you know, all the gay clubs are starting to reopen in Sydney. The dancing band's lifted. And so I was like, you never know when we're going to be shut down again. So I'm just going to make the most of it. And now I'm still recovering. Two nights in a row. Too much.

Was there someone there, was there? Someone you had your eye on? Huh? Someone that you had your eye on? No. Found them when I got there, though. Oh! Well, you went to Someone you had your eye on? Huh? Someone that you had your eye on? No. Found them when I got there, though. Oh! Well, you went to Poof Doof, right?

On both nights. Oh! Really? The same person? No. Good for you. Well done. Listen to the show.

You've had that before. People who have their tongue down your throat and they pull it out to say, oh, left a review. One of them did. One of them had no idea who I was. That's always nice. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, good for you.

Well, you need to have a penadol and relax. I'm fine. I'm feeling good. Well, episode 63, it's great to be here. What are we doing today? Oh, well, there's going to be a lot more sex talk coming up later on. So do you remember last week we were talking to my housemate about that guy he hooked up with who wanted to be pleasured

using, like like vegetables and stuff the fruit like fruit yes and i'd never heard of this kink and i wanted to know what other interesting and you know little out of the ordinary kinks are out there and oh i've gotten a lot of people writing in so i'm going to be doing kink class later oh is it like tiktok school do i have to do them on the table here no you don you don't have to attempt them. You should see my Google history though. You didn't do it on the work Wi-Fi, did you? Yeah, I did actually. No! I had to

Google all of them, so yeah. Strap yourself in. Strap it on and in. That coming up later. Of course, if it's your first time listening, hi, thank you. This is Is It Just Me brought to you by Red Rooster. Try the new crunchy fried chicken today. Let's kick it off the same way we do each week with two Is It Just Me? Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate.

Mine is I'm feeling refreshed. I'm feeling relaxed. Do I look tan? I do, actually. Yeah. I noticed that. I got some sun. I went swimming for the first time in, I think, 10 years.

10 years? Yeah. I did the math. In the ocean. 10 years. Rubbish. I swear to you. Hayden's like, let's go swimming. I'm ocean, ten years. Rubbish. I swear to you. Okay, fair enough.

Hayden's like, let's go swimming. I'm like, awesome. I'll sit by the sand and watch. He's like, why would you do that? I was like, well, I don't like the beach. He's like, why? I'm like, why don't I take my top off? I get very self-conscious.

Did you take your top off? I took the top off and bolted. You know, if we had our rash shirts. We went to Rip Curl to search and they didn't have the sizing. We actually, we have a tactic when i go in the pool with swim because i did swim with my shirt on one day i'm like this is fucked i feel like an absolute knob just a normal shirt yeah like a black team oh no like pulls you like you swim yeah it's not safe so then we worked it out we go in the pool and

then hayden would get out first and then come to the edge and stand there with a towel like a toddler and then i'd stand up into the towel and then i would roll into it like a little little piece of sushi yes a little piece of sushi or a butterfly in a cocoon and then i would go and sulk at the chair and we'd order room service also yeah that was our routine there you go that's lovely i've got more to talk about apparently my gym's holiday themed so uh good oh i might get off my chest first. Mine kind of is, I suppose. Really? Yeah, something I got up to over the break, anyway. Oh, it puffed off? Oh, you're rolling into sushi

again? Soy sauce everywhere. Alright, I'll go first. Sure, go for it. Let's jump in. Is it just me, or... Do you still feel the need to get friends and family a present after every holiday?

Yeah, if it's a big one. Yes. Like if it's overseas. Yes, that's the distinction that I discuss this with Hayden. Every holiday my family would go on growing up. They'd come home with their suitcase and we'd either pick them up from the airport or Dad would roll in through the front door and we'd all sit down and we'd you got us presents what did you get us what

did you get us buy us a present and it's drilled into me to this day every time i'm at the airport i'm like fuck did i get the presents i went to queensland for five nights i didn't need to get what am i gonna get like fucking story bridge fridge magnet to give to my mom that's not somewhere you'd usually go souvenir shopping. No. Because it's been so long since we've been able to travel. It's like, guys, I want to rub it in. I've been out of the state. Yes, that's how I felt.

Even at, like, the SeaWorld gift shop. I'm like, hey, do we need a stuffed polar bear plushie? But we don't. But I just felt the need to buy it for someone. Does it ever feel like you're rubbing it in, that you've been there and they haven't? Yes. Like, I remember Jenna coming back from a London trip. This is well before we went overseas together.

And she gave me London Union Jack pyjamas. And I was like, these mean nothing to me. I haven't been. Yeah, I wasn't there. No, I was so excited. I gave everyone gifts from London. Yeah. Everything.

You'd be a gift giver. I feel like you'd really. I remember my dad came back from, where's the Pope live? The Vatican. The Vatican City. And gave me a jar of holy water. I thought, Dad, you're going to kill your son. He didn't know at that point of my predicament, my life choices.

But he gave me a jar of holy water and I went, I don't have the connection to the Vatican, Dad. Did he personally bless each and every bottle, every jar? I highly doubt that. Yeah, I think it was a little bit of Mount Frankie, a little jar bottle that they were selling on the street. Anyway, continuing that trend, I just couldn't resist and I bought you guys presents. Oh, my God. Yes, I did.

Oh, my God. Carefully chosen. I was so excited. I actually saw this. I'll do Jenna's first. I saw something that I wanted to get you, Jenna, at Dreamworld. They have a little Harry Potter store, like full of Harry Potter paraphernalia.

And I don't know if you've ever seen the films, but these jelly beans looked absolutely lovely and I got you some rare Gold Coast jelly beans. That's so cool. What the hell? Okay, that's cool. That's not rubbing in that you've been somewhere that she hasn't. That's right.

No, I love that. Yeah. Donut shop. They're donut flavoured. Oh, donut flavoured jelly beans. In some movie she was like, McGonagall gave these to Woffenclough in episode... I don't think... I think she's having you on there.

That's not Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Beans. Bertie Bott! This is so good and I love that it's made in Manly. It's just done a full 180 like a little boomerang, hasn't it? I love it. Manly from Sydney's north. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, Mitchell, this is for you. I don't know if you can even discuss this on the show or if we can talk about it legally. You've got a box at your house. Mm-hmm. Have we discussed the Delta box on the show? Oh, what the hell? Hmm.

I think you'll love it, Jenna. When I went through my... Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, when I went through my stoner phase in 2017, I used to disguise my little stash of green plants in a Delta Goodrum perfume box. As I'm unwrapping it, I recognise this.

This is my first little pipe that I used to smoke out of. It was shattered. Oh, it's a little darling. Isn't it a little? Oh, it's the elephant. It's a glass elephant. Oh, that's cute. What a shame I don't smoke weed anymore.

Oh, I didn't know that. I thought you did. Did you not? It's fine. It looks like a cute ornament. Oh, that is cute. You could put tobacco on it. I don't smoke tobacco.

Neither, no. Just if you want to smoke something. Actually, that kind of ties into what my idiom is, to be honest. Oh, really? Oh. Yeah. Should I just give it to you now? Yeah.

All right. You say thank you for the gift. Thank you. That's all right. Thank you. I love my gifts. Very sentimental. A little glass elephant.

Yeah. Love it. It's beautiful. All right. Let's do yours. Is it just me or? Do you choose to believe that there are no health risks associated with vapes

and you won't hear anything to the contrary? Oh. What? You haven't started, have you? Well, maybe. Oh. No. Look, I mentioned that all the clubs are reopening in Sydney. I was starting to go out clubbing over the Easter break and I'm not a

smoker. I don't smoke cigarettes. However, I am self-aware enough to know that if I'm quite drunk and someone offers me one, I'll be like, sure, give it. And it happens more often than not. And I always forget how gross you feel the next day after a cigarette. My hair reeks. Your fingers? Yes.

No matter how much you scrub them, it's ridiculous. And so I was knowing that I was going out and I was like, I really don't want to smoke cigarettes tonight, but I don't trust myself. So one of my friends was like, why don't you get a vape? And I was like, okay, cool. I got it. And now I'm smoking more than I ever did.

I used to never smoke cigarettes during daylight or when I was sober, but now you should see me. I'm just in my bed watching Netflix, having a vape. No, do you know they are so bad for you? They're lovely. No, they're real. It's like electric battery acid. They're basically fruit.

They're peach flavoured. Oh, are you on the bloody peach ring trend? I've got strawberry, blonde, jam, jam donut. This one I've got right here is lemonade, actually. No, he brought it in with him. You look like a freak. You look like one of those, who are the people that fly in the TARDISes and they've got the little letterbox that they travel in?

Oh, Doctor Who. You look like a Doctor Whovian with the green little TARDIS button. It's weird. But I don't stink, do I? No. No, Jenna, can you Google some of the dangers of smoking? No, don't. No, Google it.

No, I'm curious, actually. Because it could really kill you. I know. It is kind of ironic that I believe they're designed for people who were existing cigarette addicts who, like, smoked every day of their life, which is not me. I can go months without smoking and I don't crave it. It's only on nights out that I'm like, ah, may as well. And so I thought this would be a better alternative, but now it's become.

How do you hold it? Show me. What's your technique? Oh, are you holding it like it's a USB. It's about to stick into a computer. Oh, it's lighting up. Oh, it lights up at the bottom. Oh, hold on.

Let me smell. Oh. You've got to stab me. Here, I've got some... Wait, I found this. Read them out. Okay, so yes, vaping is less harmful than smoking cigarettes, but that doesn't mean they're not harm free.

Some brands contain chemicals including formaldehyde. Formaldehyde? Yeah. Often used in building materials and another ingredient used in antifreeze that can cause cancer. Flavors also raise red flags. Hear this. According to Professor Simon Chapman from Sydney Uni. He's good.

I don't know who that is. I live near Sydney Uni. We get coffee at the local. It's estimated that there's 8,000 flavourings available, right? Yeah, we do. I haven't tried them all yet. I've only had three. Only the negatives.

And fruit is tasty. Children love it. Jenna, no. But none of them have been approved for inhalation as vapour, only for ingestion as food flavouring. So the bottom line is there is currently no long-term data because they're relatively new. So we don't really know the effects of vaping in the long term.

Well, then I could just be one of those 90-year-olds that are still smoking cigarettes and their justification is, we didn't know the risks when I was young. Yeah, but everybody who says that, oh, I know Auntie Blah Blah, she's 103 and smoked every day, then they die of lung cancer. That's true. I obviously don't recommend people take them up, but yes, I have been turning quite a blind eye. I'm very annoyed that you brought this up, Jenna.

It's not good. It's only been two weeks that I've been vaping. And I, yeah, like I said, I've been turning a blind eye to it because I actually, did either of you watch, did either of you watch Demi Lovato's four part YouTube documentary? Not yet, no. I will. So there's this part where she's talking about how she's California sober, which means she's not completely drug and alcohol free like she used to be.

She was sober for like six years and then obviously relapsed and had an overdose of heroin. Heroin, yeah. And so California sober means that she's pretty much sober except she still smokes weed. Oh. And her justification is, guys, at least it's not going to kill me like heroin. And I think those are just beautiful words to live by. I could be doing heroin.

Things could be worse. That's not the logic to have. Most vapes contain nicotine, which is obviously addictive. So when you stop using it, you can go into withdrawal and subsequently feel depressed.

That's my major concern here. If it's going to make him irritable, keep vaping. Because we'll get calm Mitch. Yeah. I don't even know if it makes me calm. I don't even know what I enjoy about it. I don't know. It's not good.

It's not good. I've noticed I've been drinking less since I've started vaping. So I'm like, maybe I just need some sort of something. I need my poison. But he's coughing up blood in the morning and he can't get his toes. But hey! No, I'm not. He's drinking less.

Your poor lungs. You're listening to Is It Just Me? A podcast by a couple of bitches. You're a cunt. Oh my goodness me. I thought I'd see if you were paying attention there. I thought my heart was about to stop there. Anyway, people, do as I say, not as I do.

Don't take up vaping if you're not already. Yes, don't vape. Don't. Kids listening to this because we have a massive audience in the three to four age demographic. 100%. I did tell myself that I wouldn't buy any more after this because I bought three and this is the third one.

Is it one of those ones that you plug in with your iPhone every night? No. I wouldn't buy any more after this because I bought three and this is the third one. Is it one of those ones that you plug in with your iPhone every night? No. I don't actually know how it works. My sister went through a phase where you had to plug it in every night. Oh, I didn't even think about that. She didn't charge it. It's like an iPod. It's just like an iPod, exactly.

And what? They went out of phase and ended up killing people. It never occurred to me that there's some sort of surge of power going through there. I've opened the bath. I could kill myself. Oh, this is an extra layer of danger imagine if that's how you went out and then i'm like jenna mitch isn't here to record the podcast and we go to your beautiful apartment to get you and isabella's at the door scratching her way through that i don't know what she thinks goes down in

the bathroom but she freaks out every time the door's closed and oh my maybe she's using her cat senses to say, do not short circuit yourself. Yes. All right. I'll stop. Imagine if he died in the bath with a vanilla vape. Oh, no.

And it was just lying there next to his lifeless body. Mitchell, don't do that to your friends. Please don't. Hey, you can leave us a review. Five stars, please. That'd be great. Let's do some Red Rooster reviews. We read them out and we send you out some Red Rooster, maybe some merch.

We hook you up. I'm going to do something a little bit different, everyone. Maybe don't mind. This is a live review. This happened on the fly. This was an in-person review. Oh. Oh.

I don't know if that counts. That doesn't help us on the chart. It does. It does. Because she did leave a review and she said, you didn't read it out because I was one of the OGs. And I couldn't scroll back. This is Hello Little Red Holly.

She's a makeup artist. She's absolutely stunning. I was shopping at Pacific Fair in the Gold Coast a couple days ago. Bumped into me. Excuse me. Massive fan of the podcast. I adore it. I love you.

In the Gold Coast. In the Gold Coast. Oh, cute. And she said, my review is it's the best podcast ever. She listens to it to and from driving to work, and she loves it. There you go. Okay. Well, Red Ruth, that's coming your way, Holly.

DM PrizeCuberJenner. Is that right? Do you have the details or anything? She'll DM you. You'll have to check that out. Add a couple of Mitches on Instagram so we can claim your prize. Yeah, I've done all my heavy lifting to be fair. Okay.

You can leave a review also on the podcast, Apple Podcasts at Five Stars, please. We have Lukie M, 1984. Great year. I just won RR. Which, for the life of me, I can't work out. Of course. Oh, my God. Wow. Well, he wants Red Rooster me, I can't work out. Of course. Oh, my God. Wow.

Well, he wants Red Rooster and he's getting it. He's getting it. I religiously listen to you lot every Monday and I've never had Red Rooster. Time to change. I politely requested in between orgy talk and sacred hymns you read my review. Cheers, quiz. Done, Lukey. Yay.

How act that we are now heading in. About to do a lot of sexy talk, Luke. Brace yourself for kink class. So if you missed our most recent episode, we were hearing about a fruit-fucking fetish that apparently exists. My housemate actually came on the show. I hate to think what else goes on

in the next door bedroom in my apartment but if you missed it this is what jordan said i have involved food once in a threesome a few years ago one guy who i'd been with a few times he messaged me and he was like my new kink is to be fucked with food and i'm like what he's, do you want to come over? And I'm like, I mean, sure. He's like, cool, can you go to Coles beforehand? Did he want an aubergine, cucumber? Aubergine, yes. Cucumber, yes. We were basically making a salad inside his arsehole.

Right, okay. Please tell me you didn't put those things back in the fridge. I swear to God. No, no, no. Most of them actually got peeled and I cooked them into a soup for him. Are you serious? I am dead serious.

Yeah, so reminder, we don't kink shame in this house. No, of course, of course. No, no, no, we do it never. But I did ask our listeners to send in any other out of the ordinary kinks that we might not have heard of that they've either been involved with or been asked to be involved with. Interesting. And oh my God, we've all got some learning to do. I hadn't heard a half of these.

Really? I've been doing the research. So first up, this one comes from Jules. Hi, Jules. Oh. Yeah, you have to hit play. That's how it works. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Hi, Jules. Hi, my name's Jules and I am from Melbourne. I'm an emergency nurse. I had a guy come in with the ambulance with a chopstick in his piss hole. There was a blanket over his lap, tented, for which I pulled off his lap and see this timber chopstick sticking straight through his dick. And I basically, in a professional way, rather asked, why the fuck did you do that? And in his really bogan-y, dodgy way was like,

look, I just get off on this shit, you know, man. I was very perplexed at his response. However, you are your own rainbow. Have a great day, guys. Thanks very much for your podcast and keep up the amazing work. Thanks, Jules. Thank you, Jules. Well, that one was really quite shocking for contraceptive diaphragm Sam.

Yeah, you're right, Sammy. He just got out of his chair. No, no, no. He emphases too much, isn't it? No, no, no. I'm just thinking about the splinters. Like you get the cheap ones in Deliveroo. They've got a tiny bit off.

They just get stuck in. Yeah, that's where he went wrong because he used a wooden chopstick. But what he was trying to achieve was what's called urethral sounding. People are into it because the urethra passes by very sensitive nerve areas that can feel nice. Women can be into this too. But for men, if a sounding toy goes deep enough, it can stimulate the prostate.

But obviously you don't want to use something that's going to get caught. Yes, of course. Like a wooden chopstick from Sushi Go. We don't recommend that one. All right. Thanks, Jules. This next one comes from Cal. Hey, it's Cal from Dubbo.

So one time I was jerking my gherkin and there was like a kind of intense but kind of good burn on my pecker. And then I remembered that I'd cut up chillies about an hour before and I've tried some hotter chillies and it's even better. So he's actually loving the chilli winks yeah he's into it that's his new thing and i tried to google more information about this fetish i think it's literally just him because all that came out yeah because all that came up was like danger in case of emergency this is what to do like apparently it's not something that people

usually enjoy it's quite a horrific pain but whatever he whenever he likes it. It's a Dubbo thing. I can imagine. I have to admit, I have done that before. Accidentally. Oh, yes. Chopped up a bird's eye chilli, then rubbed my groin on the chopping board. I just accidentally touched and it's killer. It's the same as doing it on your lip or your eye, you know, or your nose

after you've touched chilli. And yeah, it's a ride. Well, Cal was into it, but apparently if that does happen, you're meant to apply milk, yoghurt, canola or vegetable oil to try and ease the burning situation. Unless you're enjoying it. I'm sure he was fine with the milk there. He'd go to the fridge, if you know what I mean.

Alright, we have someone else. Kent, is it? Yeah, this one's from Kent. Hey, it's Kent from Sydney. And I once hooked up with someone who had a pregnancy fetish. A pregnancy fetish. Oh. So these are kind of common as it turns out.

Apparently on porn sites, the term pregnancy gets searched just as often as the terms redhead and babysitter. Oh, my two kinks. What a killer combination of pregnant, redhead, babysitter. Oh, my two kinks. What a killer combination of pregnant redhead babysitter. Oh, my God. Wow. Do you want someone to be pregnant while you're doing it or do you want to get them pregnant? I imagine it would be different for everyone,

but they're not actually turned on by the thought of the baby itself. That'd be quite fucked, right? Right. But apparently it's more to do with like the um the heavy breathing and the moaning that comes with um when you're in labor it kind of sounds like sex noises for some people um jenna do an impression of being in labor oh okay okay she's not going to end up in any prego porn sites anytime soon no um and some people find the actual look of a pregnant body quite a turn on they like the you know the big bumps and a lot body quite a turn on. They like the, you know, the big bump.

It's curvaceous. And a lot of the time women get extra horny when they're pregnant. So, you know, their husbands are quite happy to take advantage of that. I have heard that. Ride the wave, so to speak. I was picturing like pregnancy kink, like, you know, take me to baby bunting. Well, actually, male pregnancy or M-preg, as they call it, is also part of this kink. A lot of gay couples like to role play the idea of one of them being pregnant because

it's literally something they'll just never actually experience. So it's kind of like, I don't know, letting their imagination run wild. And they say it's all about the emotional closeness and vulnerability. Something rarely seen in porn. I agree. I tend to. Oh, I like that. I agree.

Babe, do you want a foot massage? You've been walking around with that third trimester belly all day. I don to. Oh, I like that. I agree with that. Do you want a foot massage? You've been walking around with that third trimester belly all day. I don't know how it works. Yeah, put this bib on. Yeah. I don't know. Let me spoon feed you some mashed apple. That's my kind of kink.

I've been there. Aidan and I, we haven't done a pregnancy kink, but there's been things thrown around like, oh, get you pregnant, that kind of vibe. Yeah, right, there you go. That kind of ties in with that. Like, knock me out, that sort of thing. Yeah, kind of. Yeah, it That kind of ties in with that. Like, knock me out, that sort of thing. Yeah, kind of.

Yeah, it's kind of like, you know, right at the end when you're about to climax. It's like, yeah, go there. Save space. Read me, as they say. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Goodness me. All right, this next one comes from Ashley.

All right. Hey, it's Ashley and I'm from Brisbane. So this guy asked me if I would be willing to put on a pair of heels and both stand on and walk all over his body while he lay on the ground so yeah essentially he asked me to trample him the more bruises the better interestingly contraceptive diaphragm sam is nodding his head yeah oh yeah no not for me but i have a mate that that like, not me, but I have a friend. No, but literally, I have a mate that that is his absolute life.

He just, all that he wants is a girl and a great pair of Jimmy Choo's or something and just give it to him. Yeah, I feel like the heels part, that's a little bit more extreme because all the examples I found was all just barefoot, having someone walk on you, feeling trampled because it's all about feeling submissive and having someone dominate over you. But it just makes me think of the bloody stampede on The Lion King. Oh, yeah. You know, running through his damn life. Yes, in that trench.

Yeah. What are they called? Will the Beast. Something like that. Antelope. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. God, that wouldn't work for me.

The heel would go straight through my back. It's very soft down there. Yeah, the heel. That's so risky. But hey. Wow. But being dominated is dominatrix and BDSM and that's huge. I get that element, but I'm just like the heels.

That's a new extreme. That's dangerous. And you know what I love about that is that often it's real heterosexual, burly, straight men who love that shit. But we never talk about it. But that's their kink in their bedroom. I love that. I think that's so cool.

Totally. All right. This next one from Joanna. Before we get into it, Sam's got a bit of a trigger warning for us. Warning. The following segment contains conversations about blood play and may not be suitable for all audiences. If conversations about cutting is something you may find distressing,

please pause the podcast now and check the show notes for a time code of when it's safe to resume. And remember, if you need someone to turn to, Lifeline is always available for support on 13 11 14. Yeah, so we're talking about blood play. Yeah. Now, this one comes from Joanna. Okay, let's go. Hi, my name is Joanna. I am from Melbourne.

My friend's kink is that she loves blood play so she loves basically sex with blood like to be cut someone and that they bleed or sex on her period or anything that basically creates a pool of blood it's not something that goes so deep that will be harmful but it's enough for them to bleed. And if they don't like actual blood, she will use like fake blood. Interesting. Yeah. So apparently some people enjoy the taste of blood and like to incorporate it in the bedroom. I find that would be very hard to find someone that enjoys the blood

but also find someone that's okay with being cut. Yeah. I feel like you'd have to kind of meet people on the blood play forums. People who also enjoy that kind of thing. But it might just be a little sewing needle or something to prick the skin, you know, like the diabetes testing kits or something, or some people, they like to do something a little more extreme, knife play,

which doesn't necessarily involve actual cutting, but apparently they just enjoy the fear factor of having someone take their clothes off with the knife that's like oh you're gonna cut me they might do a bit of light scratching and not actually draw blood but for people who actually do like to draw blood they usually would do research beforehand because there's like safe zones that you can cut and it won't like fucking kill someone and then i don't know like the thigh or something yeah but then there's obviously danger zones like like the neck.

I'm sorry. You can't just go slitting people's throats for fun. It's not cool. Damn it. You can't. It's just no good. But yeah, there's like a diagram. There's like a human body online that I saw and they had like red zones and that part.

Yeah. And then like the green zones are like, okay. Like it's less risky. Interesting. But imagine the cleaning up. Yeah, there'd be a lot. Well, I don't imagine they aim to get a lot of it involved. I don't know.

Also, imagine the discovery of that. Like are you just clipping your little toes one day and you cut too deep and you had a bit of blood and you're like, oh, I am. I'm hard. Yeah. Or like they've got a bleeding nose and they feel a bit of it coming through the back of their throat like they're sinus. And they're like, yummy.

Yeah. I don't mind that. Well, that's the thing. We didn't even talk about it on the show. I don't know why we didn't. It seems very up our alley. The whole Armie Hammer cannibalism. Yeah, that's what I was thinking as well.

Well, I saw a lot of threads online that was like, yeah, blood plays his kink. It's fine. And everyone's like, don't kink shame. I'm like, I can get around that. But then he was taking it to the next level. But that was the first time that I was ever made aware that people actually get off on this. Yeah, like there's a difference between blood play

and Armie Hammer wanting to eat someone's heart and rip it out of their chest. That's a bit off. Yes, he wanted to eat someone's ear. Call me old-fashioned. I'm not into that. Interesting. Okay, and then we have a couple more, right?

Yeah, this one's from Hannah. Hi, it's Hannah from the Sunshine Coast. So when I was with my ex, he had this fetish for me to wet myself when wearing. It had to be jeans. a couple more right yeah this one's from hannah hi it's hannah from the sunshine coast so when i was with my ex he had this fetish for me to wet myself when wearing it had to be jeans it specifically had to be jeans and one day it was the day my car had broken down i had to go to the bathroom because i had been sitting on the side of the road for three hours waiting for rac to come get me and he picked me up and then he ended up driving for two hours straight trying to tickle me trying to make me laugh so that I would wet my jeans because it really got him going and when I pulled

him up on it I didn't know about the fetish at the time I found out like a month later and he told me all about it and it's got this name called omarashi yes it has a real name for girls wetting themselves but he's specifically in jeans. At the end of the night, he wanted me to wet myself in jeans. And to the point that when it was his birthday, he even asked me, I was like, what do you want for your birthday? He goes, I want you to wet yourself in jeans for me. I'm like, ew.

So, yeah, that's the story of how my ex basically forced me to wet myself like a toddler. I didn't wet myself, though, so. It's like a Netflix original series. I know. Funnily enough, didn't work out between those two. Yeah, I know. Oh, I thought they were really a good match for each other.

I think the important thing there is also consent. I mean, it definitely has to be consensual. Precisely. Driving someone around for two hours trying to make them piss themselves. Not cool. But yes, she mentioned it's called omorashi, the Japanese word for wet yourself. And people get aroused by the discomfort of a full bladder and they enjoy the tension in the lead up. And then when someone finally pisses themselves, it's like a release.

So there's kind of a sexual connotation. I kind of get that. I can understand. Yeah, but they also enjoy the embarrassment factor as well. So it kind of comes into the whole heel trampling thing guys communicate with your partners if they want to keep make sure you're okay with it and if you wanted her to piss herself laughing you should have played this podcast oh my god all right finally just when you hadn't heard enough bodily fluid this last one comes from joel hey it's joel from perth and this wasn't me but one of my friends

once had a guy ask her to sit on top of a glass table and do a shit while he's watching from underneath. Oh, goodness me. Yep, so this is what's called a hot carl. As I found out, there's a few variations of the hot carl. Either you can put cling wrap

over your partner's face while doing a shit in their mouth so that they physically experience the warmth and the shape of the turd. It's called a rusty trombone, that one. Oh, don't. Oh, I'm going to vomit. Or if you do it on their chest, it's called a Cleveland steamer.

Or there's what we call the cold car, which is what he mentioned, which is sitting on the glass table while the partner enjoys the view from underneath while you do a shit. Lay along right there on the glass. Move the TV enjoys the view from underneath while you do a shit. Lay log right there on the glass. Move the TV week, babe. I'm feeling horny. Babe, where's the Foxtel remote? Remember we did the stinky Cleveland last week?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's under the pile of feces. Hey, no king shaming. That's next level, though. That's a lot. Yeah, that is. I don't understand fecal matter. I understand that like as a gay man,

you are obviously toying with danger when sex involves that region where the shit comes from. But I prefer to detach the two from each other. Yes. I prefer to not remember that that also serves that function. Yes, I completely agree. I don't want to watch someone do a shit. No.

I don't want to watch someone do a shit. No. I don't. Ever. It's like when you go to therapy and they get a piece of paint and squash it between a fold of paper. What do you see here? It's still like that, but with poo. Yeah, I know. Goodness me.

And so this one and a lot of the others, I basically tried to find a clear answer of why do they like it? Like, what is it? And there really isn't a clear answer for a lot of them but all the websites that i read did make clear that it's like it doesn't make you a psychopath some people just you know have quirky kinks and that's just the way their brains wired as long as it's consensual and you know you're not yes i completely agree as long as both or multiple parties are safe, more than two these days in 2021. And the other thing is that a lot of these ones that I just read out,

all of the websites said that they're more common than you think because it's just like not spoken about. So you never know. Isn't that interesting? There could be someone in this room that wants to confess to having any of those kinks. No, no one? I did want to pitch for the next merch, though, that we get glass coffee tables.

And that's just a personal thing. Okay, no one wants to come forward. No, no. Well, thank you guys for writing in. That was very nice. Very sweet. Very interesting, actually. Couldn't agree more.

Wow. That Jules chick, she said that as well as the splintery chopstick that someone inserted into their cock, there's been many, many other examples that she has. So I reckon we should get her on at some stage too. I'd love to get her on. Definitely. Well, she's an emergency worker, right?

Yes. I follow this page on Instagram and it's just someone who works in the ED and they upload all the x-ray scans of people who come in with foreign objects up their rectum. Like what? Like full eggplants, full footballs, teddy bears, torches, Bunsen burners. Like, the amount of ridiculous shit

that people put up their shit at is ridiculous. Oh, you might have just ruined all of Jules' good stories. But anyway, that's alright. Oh, I've just noticed the Instagram page is called Jules. So it's her. My god. Well, thank you for writing in, guys. That's very, very sweet. Keep them coming. If you've got another weird kink

to confess to, we'd love to hear it. Yeah, we would. Now, I hope you guys enjoy your gifts. Of course. Thank you. A little elephant ornament that serves no other purpose than being an ornament. You could put one mint in the top and then blow it out and then you could play with it. What?

You could put a mint in the top. I don't think so. You could. I can't smoke a Mentos. This is not. No, no, no. Just play with it. Just make it a Mentos holder. Or put a gold

coin in there. Anyway, we don't need to talk about this now. No, we really don't. Alright, back for next week. Episode 64. We will see you then. We will. We won't see Jenna then. No. I didn't. Did I tell you that she can't come in next week? No. I saw this in the group chat, but I don't know why. What's going on? Mitch was very off the grid

over the break. We barely spoke, to be honest. But next week's all sass. Jenna won't be here. I can I don't know why. What's going on? Mitch was very off the grid over the break. We barely spoke, to be honest. But next week's all sass. Jenna won't be here. I can't wait to tell you where she's going to be. It's a serious issue. Why? No, don't give it away.

We're going to do another live cross to her. She's going to be roving reporter again. Oh, the last time we did that, you were at some black town cricket ground. No, I was at the outdoor cinema. The driving cinema. The driving cinema. Delta Goodrum was performing. Yes, while I was talking to you.. The driving cinema. Driving cinema. Delta Goodrum was performing. Yes, while I was talking to you.

It was a fan favourite. Yeah. But we're going to have Kate Langbrook in Gemma's seat. A much more qualified third wheel, I might add. Kate Langbrook is a colleague of ours. She hosts the 3pm Pickup here at Kirsten. She's a TV radio icon here in Australia. She is so funny.

She's also my spirit animal. I can't wait to have her on. She's very you, actually. You in about 25 years. You reckon? Yeah, I think so. Don't you get similar? I want to meet her.

Do you feel she was also born a man? Like, is that what you're saying? I'm going to become Kate at some point? I'm going to transition? Sam, you know what I mean. Like, Mitch is very young Kate. I feel like it's that same sort of energy of just like, oh, I just cannot be bothered. Yeah.

But he's very funny along the way. I didn't realise I gave off those vibes. I just did some fucking kink research. How dare you? I know, I just rocked up today. I had a great day. Very, very lazy. Thank you guys for your reviews.

Don't forget, five stars. Follow our secret Facebook group too. Search Enduring Idiots. Join in the fun. A lot of behind the scenes goss goes on on that Facebook page. And follow us on Instagram. Get all the vids. And we will see you guys next week.

Catch you then. Bye bye. Bye-bye. Bye. Is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app. Or follow on Spotify. Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment on the end we just kind of hang out keep talking shit hopefully most people don't hear it because it's their secret that's the vape his voice cracked did you hear it i did no i've just popped a eucalyptus drop in oh lovely popped it a bit of

a scratchy throat yeah yeah you're not you're not well. You poor thing. Clubbing two nights in a row, never a good idea. Yeah, I'm not going to be rushing off to do that again, let me tell you. Where did you go? Pooftoof 19? Which is a bar in Sydney. Friday I went to Stonewall. Yes.

And Saturday I went to Pooftoof. Oh my God. Too much. It was. Last time I was at Stonewall was for one of your birthdays. That was in 2018. I was. Last time I was at Stonewall was for one of your birthdays. That was in 2018. I was there as well. That was the last time I was out of the house.

I think Jenna and I were in the corner. We were. Discussing world politics and ancient Greece and the downfall of Rome. It was very fun. And rash shirts. Which brings me to my next topic. Well, you weren't even talking about a topic, so it's just your first topic.

That's not how that sentence works. Okay, be quiet now. Anyway, as you all know. Without further ado. Okay. There's nothing. You weren't. Okay.

Be quiet. Sorry. As you know, I was in Dover and I also got some gifts for both of you. But before I provide you with these gifts i thought hmm what's a what's a possible new merch idea we've got rash shirts i'm hooked in brilliant well your your rash shirts didn't really take off so yeah back to the door they did and they will be coming but i thought what's something nobody else is doing? In terms of merchandise?

Yes. Okay. And I think I've found it. So someone else is doing it then? Well, yes, but not in this capacity. Right. Anyway, I'm going to pass you your gifts. Okay, thank you. And I want you to read out what's on each of them.

Dramatic. Some music for us. Oh, the bag says Dubbo on each of them. Dramatic. Some music for us. Oh, the bag says Dubbo on it. Ooh. Here you go. Oh, looks like a jar of paprika. Nah, it's not that. What is it?

Please read what it says. Oh, my God. Off you go. It says, famous Dubbo dust. Yes. This is a v Dubbo dust. Yes. This is a vial of dust. Yes. I think that we should get dust from this place,

put it in a vial and send it off. Dust from what place? I don't know, the dirt outside. Is that what you mean? No, just go outside in the dirt. There is dust all through this place, to be honest. We can look on some of the shelves and stuff. So you want to give away our studio dust?

No, it'll be available to purchase. I don't know if there's enough dust around this place. No, also, this is like a good 100 mils of dust. It says, dirt cheap, $2. Experience capital gain. Buy now before stock runs out. Supply will not last indefinitely. What makes it famous Dubbo dust?

What's so famous about the dust? Because no one else has thought of this idea. It was made when the Lions Club dirt mine was officially opened after gigantic dust storms hit Dubbo. Interesting. In a few years, that'll be worth a lot. Three. Keep bottle tightly capped to prevent escape.

Oh, I was going to smell it. Do it. I don't think it matters if we escape any of it. For Dubbo mud, just add water and shake. I might turn mine into Dubbo mud. You should. Anyway, I think that I have found the perfect

merch idea. Do you have water over there? Yeah, I do. Idjim dust, you reckon, Jenna? Yeah. Okay. I think Idjim dust. Well, let us know in our Facebook group, Enduring Idiots, if you would be willing to purchase our dust. Yes. Do you have a mug over there? Yeah, that water dryers. Oh, yes. Thanks. I feel like it's just

been crunched up bits of cockroach and old food crunchies. It looks like Milo, to be honest. It does. Oh, oh! Talking to the mic, Dylan. Spilled everywhere. Here we go. Ready? Quiet this bit out. ASMR.

Oh, he's pouring the dust into a glass. Beautiful dust. I did about half of it. Went on my mic. All right. I feel that there's plenty more dust where that came from. No, there isn't. All right.

Dubbo mud. Fantastic. Jenna, what a great gift. Drink it. Drink it? Go on. Oh, don't be ridiculous. That's foul.

I think, do it for Dubbo. I've never, Dubbo's done nothing for me all my life. Yes, but they've done so much. What a thing, oh, Dubbo. This could have COVID in it. It doesn't, no. Salmonella? I don't think Dubbo had any nothing for me. Yes, but they've done so much. What if they owe Dubbo? This could have COVID in it. It doesn't, no. Salmonella? I don't think Dubbo had any cases of COVID.

Probably healthier than your vape. Exactly. Oh, no. Drink it. You're drinking the dust. Drink the dust. I'm trying to. You're not?

Oh. Real earthy. Delicious. Because it's dust. Get the taste of the Centraly. Delicious. Because it's dust. Get the taste of the Central West. Yeah. I can taste impoverishment and misogyny. Nothing like Dubbo.

That's disgusting. That water's nice and chilled. Is there an ice cube in there? What am I going to do with this stuff? Thank you, Jenna. What a lovely gift. Yes. You're welcome.

Let's develop this idea further. You want to do Ijem dust. Yes. World famous Ijem dust. We could probably do like a lock of hair or something of Mitchell's head. From her chest? My favourite line in Greece. Oh, I haven't seen it.

Yeah. It's a great idea. I mean, we could probably. Would you guys be interested Hit us up on Would you be interested in stuff from the studio We have run sheets Would you like a run sheet And would you like that to be made into dust No the dust idea is dead

Yeah maybe instead of dust We do idjim shreddings We shred the logs so they can't decipher them. Shred the logs? No, I don't like that. You could use it as compost. I don't know. Well, I remember when I saw one of the late shows,

the Jimmy Kimmel or something in America, all I wanted was a run sheet, and they gave me a run sheet, and it's in my house framed because I like the late shows. So someone who loves Is It Just Me might want a run sheet. It's much less of a bragging right than a Jimmy Kimmel run sheet. Yeah. But whatever. Mine says Will Ferrell on it.

It's a very good show. Interesting. All right, Jenna, thank you for the pitch. We will discuss it and we'll get back to you with 4 to 8. No, it's going to happen. And the rash shirts are still going to happen as well. Just an FYI. Both.

Passionate. I also discovered a really, really bizarre product when i was back in bodengate it was in the bodengate general store oh slash post office yeah slash pub um and i'll bring it in actually no you're not here next week jenna um i'll bring it in the week after because oh yeah there's a whole backstory with it too anyway really yeah better than dust i feel that it serves more of a purpose than dust. Dust is not offering any service. I'm not getting anything from dust.

Well, you know, that's a popular product. Jane from the Dubbo Visitors Centre said that that's one of their most popular products, and I'm not even exaggerating. Dubbo dust, hey? Yes. Okay. I'm not really sure what I'm meant to do with it, though. You can make mud, you can just frame it.

I've still got that magic kit you got me for Christmas. I haven't even touched it. That's fun. And what do you think I'm going to do with the dust? I use Mitch's lavender eye balm every night. It's almost gone. Do you? Yeah, I've sniffed that fucking lavender eye pillow so hard

that it just stinks of purple mesh. It can't smell any lavender. It's a beautiful eye pillow, I must say. It's gone. I have just absolutely crushed it. I've rubbed it between my hands that long. What did I get you guys for Christmas? You got me, what do you call it?

One of those dusk things. Yes. I've seen you use it. The last three times I've been to your house, it's been on. It smells beautiful. And I've sent you photos of me using it. You also sent me photos of Sylvia and she she was beheaded months before she was not beheaded she was flushed no she wasn't interesting she was buried with a corpse yeah she was bare so i got a

little jewelry box right a pandora jewelry box and put her in there and buried her buried her where in my parents backyard oh okay the the mansion. It's not a mansion. No. She's in the family crypt. Do you guys have a family crypt? No! It's like really rich families have a crypt and it's like a house in a graveyard and all the family get to be buried in that one house.

Oh, no. Hayden's family have a crypt. Have you and Hayden purchased your plots? He's got his, but I don't have one. Is it one that you walk in and There's a little path to it It's a little segregated area It's quite beautiful to be honest So it's outdoor?

It's outdoors Alfresco, yes, yes It's very sort of COVID era dining You know, outside, easy breezy Well, I visited my grandfather and grandmother And all relatives at the Dubbo Cemetery Yes And you can't even see their plaques anymore.

It's full of dust from the... Famous dust, how dare you? No, it's from the mice. They should be so lucky. There's a mice pandemic. There's all these little holes. My grandparents have already purchased their plots in the Bodengate Cemetery. And because they're currently alive, they just use that patch of land as a parking spot

whenever they go to the cemetery. That's smart. And so it just means they're closer to the view if they're going to a cemetery or a burial or whatever. Oh, no. How often are they there? Oh, I mean, their friends are dropping like flies. They're old.

At that age, yeah. Yeah. Now, you went back home. We didn't even discuss. The episode before we went on break, you were talking about the mice plague yeah and you went was it as bad as you thought no because it's nowhere near as bad as the the one i already lived through when i was 10 yes um but yeah my dad seems to have gotten on top of it with his diy traps so that's good we still need to plan a show from bougainvillea yes we'll do a show from bougainvillea we'll do a show

from the palatial mansion in lancôme and then we will do a show from Bougainvillea. We'll do a show from the palatial mansion in Lancôme. And then we will do a show from the Shire. Can we do a show from the Dubbo Tourism Centre? We all get to do a show from one place that has meaning in our lives. We all get to pick. And whether that is, I don't know, Jenna, 19th century Rome? Yes. Or your palatial mansion?

Bethlehem. Bethlehem? Or Jerusalem? Wherever. You've got to do like a family holiday road trip, get a little caravan, go to all of these awful locations. Maybe we should do that. We should do the anti-broadcast. Like everyone's like, the broadcast from the top of the Q1 resort and plaza. It's like we should just go to Bob's Seafood on the highway next to the train station and do a live broadcast.

I'll just get some potato scallops. I love potato scallops. How good are they? Chicken salt, obviously. I had a couple prawn cutlets the other night in Queensland. Amazing. Contraceptive diaphragm, Sam, if you don't mind me calling you Christian now. You had an update on the Bunnings broadcast that we were planning on doing.

I do. So apparently one of our lovely friends here knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy. Yeah. And it looks like we might be able to make this happen. Not what you know with it. So someone at this radio station obviously works with them for advertising and whatnot. And then we're connected that way. Yes.

I was in a VIP lounge in Balmain talking to one of the lovely people that work in our sales department. And she is a massive fan of the podcast. Oh! Yay! OG listens to every single episode. Listen twice. Wow. So she wants to make this happen?

Well, she knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy. Of course. That's the one who knows the guy. I don't want to negate your connection, Sam, but can't any old bastard do a Bunnings sausage sizzle? I don't think we need to know someone, do we? That's true, but here's the issue. Here's the issue, right? Bunnings are very, very popular.

So I feel like we just kind of need to insert ourselves a little bit, maybe just make a bit more of a fanfare. I know what you mean. I like that. Yes, yes, yes, yes. How do you intend to insert ourselves? What's the next step? Yeah, what do we need to do? I haven't got that far, guys,

but I'm working on it. He's very busy. He's got a real job as well. Yes. Um, random thought. You could try smoking the Dubbo dirt from there. Yeah, that is a very... From the elephant pipe that Mitch got me. Yes. I'm not smoking dirt. Although, that would be a much nicer ornament if I filled it with the dust.

Yes. The glass pipe. I was very anxious about bringing that back through airport security. It's not illegal to own a glass pipe. That's what I said. The lady was like, as long as it hasn't been used by any illegal substances, you can bring it. And she said, if they question you about it, tell them it's to smoke tobacco in. Right.

And I said, okay. No, you said, i'm california sober have you seen denny's documentary she went into cardiac arrest or something right she had like seven strokes or some shit it was ridiculous poor girl i love demi i think she's absolutely fantastic same i actually i actually couldn't stand her when she was sober i saw right through it every time she got up there and was all preaching, she goes, how good's Jesus and being sober and, oh, I'm the poster girl for sobriety. I would just look into her eyes and think, I can tell you want to be fucked up right now.

You are craving everything you've been told not to take. Yeah. And sure enough, here we are, a relapse. So I feel like she said it's probably better just to have a couple of joints every now and then than to end up turning to heroin. California Sober, I love it. You know what's funny?

The new song, it's all out in the open. She's like, I had a tinfoil meth pipe, I made it in the kitchen. Like, it's very, very open. Yeah, exactly. I can't play a bit. Hold on, hold on. Yeah, she tells the full story.

I love it. And like I said, I've never found her more interesting than now because I'm like, oh, at least you're being honest. Yeah. I saw right through the churchy fucking sobriety rubbish. I was playing it on the plane. It's more like a short story, really. I do love that.

Oh, are you talking about the documentary or the album? Yeah. That wasn't a yes or no question. The song. I'm talking about the song, the lyrics. This one? Yeah. Dancing with the Devil.

Yeah. Right. She wants to do it every night. Yeah, yeah. Good for you. Very little singing at this point. It's like an episode of Glee. What are you talking about?

No, it's sort of melodic. Hopeless insanity. that? No, it's sort of melodic. Lying. This is good. Just so you know, in order to get away with playing so much of this song on the podcast, we have to offer a critique or do a parody of it. Because otherwise we'd copyright breached. I think a parody's not in good taste.

Oh, when have we ever been in good taste? Okay, what could we do? It's so hard to say no. To, oh, no. To Davo Dust. Wow, you should work for the Chasers. Yeah. I haven't heard this song before, sorry.

Wait for the... She talks about an aluminium pipe she made with tinfoil. Really? Glad rap or something, yeah. That's cocaine. Pipe. See? Tinfoil remedy, almost got the best of me.

I keep praying... You're going to have to offer a catechism. Okay. See, I wouldn't have said tinfoil. I would have said aluminium foil. Well, that's the Aussie vernacular coming in. Go, Danny. Twisted reality, hopeless insanity. I'd argue that that's the second chorus, not exactly a melody,

but it's just my criticism. Can you put on another one? Huh? Can you put on a different one? Yeah. It's called Anyone, and I love it. However, I have to be in the right mood To listen to it Because sometimes I'm like

Wow this song is great But other times I'm like God you're a bit yelly Aren't ya She's a bit fucking yelly In this song Go to the last chorus If you could

You'll know what I mean Anyone Please send me Anyone Oh lord Is there anyone I need someone Oh, anyone

I need anyone Oh, anyone I need someone Here, I'll do a critique. A bit pitchy, bub. Lyrics needed work. Vocally, six. Nobody's listening to me

No one did listen to her. Nobody's listening on me Parody. Parody. Beautiful. Well done, guys. So legally we got it right. So is this being played in court?

Was that written? No, Your Honour. We're actually in the clear. Yeah. We're making comedy. Was that written before the drug overdose or after? That's on the same album. That song was before.

Oh. Oh, wow. This song was about turning to heroin. And the first three songs are before and then the rest is after. Wow. Yeah. See, but that's a new leaf that I love. Like you said, you weren't sold on her.

Now you are based on all this music. Yeah. I'm the opposite for Justin Bieber. Like all this Hillsong music that he's putting out. What? Holy and Anyone. Anyone isn't Hillsong. The whole album is Christian pop.

Well, Anyone isn't. Yeah. No, it album is Christian pop. Well, anyone isn't. Yeah. No, it's not. Yeah, it's about the one and only person that he loves. Everyone thinks it's Ailey Bieber. Does Justin Bieber also have a song called Anyone? Yeah. Ah, okay.

Trashy former child star. This is Holly, right? Oh, God. Running to the altar like a track star. Running to the altar. Can't wait in that second. There's a way you hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me. Feel so lonely. Lonely parody. Very parody. Running to the altar. Lonely parody.

Very parody. I did drama in high school. Parody. Yeah, anyway, it's about God. It's all very Jesus-y. I'm just reading the rest of the lyrics and it's all very... Well, it is called holy. No, Jenna, very defensive of the Christian church. Very defensive.

Well, she's mindful of things that have happened in this very building when people, you know, make religious jokes. Yes, you're exactly right. Yep. I'd impress that. That was God. All right. Let's get out of here.

It wouldn't surprise me if Jenna came in and said, I'm pregnant, and it was immaculate conception. That would be the only explanation. That's happened before. Was it? Yes. When? When I gave birth to baby Jesus. Oh, she's Mary Magdalene.

No, that's the wrong one. Who was Jesus' mum? It's not Mary Magdalene. Mary Magdalene was the whore. Nice Mary. Yeah. There are two Marys. Virgin Mary. Nice Mary.

Mary. Virgin Mary. Dangerous Territory. All right. Dangerous Territory. The Virgin Mary Kyle Sandlin. Let's Google it. You're right.

I've just Googled the book. It's called The Bible. I'll have to read into it. It's a good read. Number two on Audible. I wonder if there's an audiobook of that do you reckon there would be i've actually been getting into audiobooks recently really do you have like a pile of books on your side table that you know you'll never read i took one away with me and got through two pages and then went i'm gonna sit in the spa and read it and then it got wet and the page fell out oh okay i've started

listening to the books that I have the physical copy of and I know full well that I will never get to them. And so, yeah, I'm into the audiobooks. What are you into? Show me. Holy Bible. I thought of you the other day at the airport, actually. Kitty Flanagan has a new book. And right up your alley.

Yeah, there's quite a few Bible audiobooks, actually. You are kidding me. I never kid. When do I kid? Very true. Sometimes you just need a bit of audio lore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void,

and darkness covered the face of the deep. Well, it's hard to argue with that. Genesis. Yeah, wow. Genesis right there. Who's that voicing it? Anyone of merit? John Banks. Oh, my God. it? Anyone of merit? John Banks.

Oh, my God. It says. Good for him. Wonderful. But there's quite a few different versions. Interesting. I'm not going to play another one. Yeah, there's quite a lot.

I had a friend that had her first Bible, and she just had a hot pink girly Bible. Really? Yeah. I had the dumbed down kids version of the illustration. Oh, I think I had that. Yeah. Interesting. Sam, do you have a Bible? I did have. Oh, I think I had that, yeah. Interesting. Sam, do you have a Bible?

I did have a Bible. I was a good little Christian child. Yes, really? Catholic child. Catholic school. Really? My dad's Catholic. My dad has a statue of Mary in his wardrobe.

Again, we're teetering in dangerous territory, I feel. I'm allowed to say it. He's got a statue of Mary in his wardrobe. I've just been conditioned to be like, no, don't. Yeah, none of it. You won't be able to help yourself. You'll make a joke. You'll offend someone that we protested at the station again.

No, I won't do that. I won't do that. Don't. I can see your brain ticking over. No, it's because I'm just trying to stay alive. You very rarely think that it's obvious. Trying to stay alive. It's obvious when it's happening.

Guys, we'll see you next week. Jenna won't be here. I don't know why no one is telling me. We'll check in with her, though. I messaged you. You said that I won't be here, but I don't know why. You're keeping it a secret from me. Yeah, I don't want him to know.

I want him to find out on the show, because I know. It's ridiculous. It's not ridiculous. Jenner and I talk. You haven't mentioned anything. I have, actually, but you just ignored me. Are you going away? Will you be at work?

I'm not answering. Yeah, we're keeping it a secret. Just fucking be patient. Anyway, Kate Langbrook will be on, too, so that's going to be awesome. Give her a Google in the meantime. And if you're on the podcast app listening to us, where else would you be listening to us? You can search the 3 p.m. pickup.

It's the Kiss Afternoon Show. And you can have a listen, get a little taste of Miss Langbrook before you get her next week on the show. It'll be very fun. See if you agree with Mitch and say that her and I have the same energy. Yeah, it's just you've got a – you'll be a Kate Langbrook vibe in about 30 years. Fair enough. I wouldn't be mad about that at all.

I love her. We all have our energies. Like, actually, speaking of the Bible, Sam is very Jesus H. Christy. Yep. I feel like that's, I feel very holy, like Bieber. Yeah. Yeah, you're too white for Jesus, though. That's very true.

Yeah, Jesus was not white. And Jenna, I don't know who yours is. I just wish I could meet Kate Langbrook. Sorry, you're the one that told me you can't come in next week. Yes. No, but... Sorry, Tunnel. Alright, we will see you. We will see you guys next week. Thanks for listening.

Goodbye. and goodbye see ya bye