Is It Just Me? - #72: What Colour Is Maths?

Episode Date: June 27, 2021

In this episode:Colour association debate (08:19)Inside dogs (13:27)This week’s reviews (17:02)Choosing Churi's Drag name (20:20)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (24:49)Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Television legend Kerri-Ann Kennelly fell several metres from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pippet. Some things make more sense than others. Ring Pikes Nurseries. What nursery? Pikes. P-Y-K-E-S. P-Y-A. K as in kill.

P-Y-A. K as in kill. P-Y-E. K! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. What about me?

Don't forget Chin-O. Who? Now, here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coombs. Outlet here for 72. Hello. G'day, guys. Welcome to the show once again. Freshly back from Brisbane, Mitchell Coombs looking beautiful and brown.

I'm so jet-lagged. You've got, I can see the Brisbane, what's it called, the Balmoral River or the Brown River in the middle? I think it's just the Brisbane River, isn't it? Is that what it's called? I think so. But, you know, I just came back from Brisbane, my stand-up comedy geek and my drag performance. Is there wig glue in your hair still?

There is still a little bit. Really? Yes. If you weren't listening last week, it was my first stand-up. And then after intermission, I had to get into drag. It was called the switch-up. So we'd, you know, go from being comedian to a drag queen. First time I've ever done that. Yeah, you were really throwing yourself go from being comedian to a drag queen first time i've

ever done that yeah you were really throwing yourself in the deep end doing both for the first time yeah that was my first proper stand-up too but i abandoned the drag name that i came up with on this show right which i thought was very funny it was originally going to be aphelia pors and then it was going to be aphelia box and then right at the last minute because i knew i was doing a mamma mia inspired number yeah based offeryl Streep, and I was like, Feral Streep. It's brilliant. That's perfect.

It's brilliant. I felt so upset. It's like when your friend breaks up with someone but doesn't tell you and you see them out, you're like, where's Deb? But they're like, we're not together anymore. You're like, I'm Feral Streep. I'm like, I didn't know about that.

Our third wheel prize keeper, Jenna, is here. Guess what, Jenna? What? I was at the venue and they're like Mr. Coons we have a delivery for you in your dressing room

and it was hold on they travel well look let's see the flowers from Mitchell Cherry

oh that is beautiful I didn't know you had them yep I chucked them in my suitcase and I was like if they

die they die if they don't they don't look at them thriving but the card said, oh, congratulations. Congratulations on your debut, Ophelia. I was like, I've changed the name.

I wasn't told. Yeah, sorry. Oh, that's lovely. My delivery didn't arrive. Yeah, I did note that you forgot. No, no, it was delayed. Don't you jump on that either. That was me.

That took me four hours and a passport to order. Yeah. Because I wanted to get a Prosecco with it. And then they were like, oh, just we need a photo of your passport to make sure you're over 18. I'm like, why my fucking bitches at my mum's house? Why not your licence? They wanted like 10 points of identification. Oh, I hate that.

Same. Do you ever think to yourself, I have no idea where my birth certificate is. Oh my God. I was thinking this. I never need it. Today. Mine used ever think to yourself, I have no idea where my birth certificate is. Oh, my God. I was thinking this. I hope I never need it. Today. Mine used to be in like a silver cylinder. Did you guys have that?

Don't think so. Mine was like in a silver tube. Can a stand. It was on one of the shelves. And then I think I opened it one day and it wasn't even fucking in there. Yeah. Like, I seriously have no idea where it is. Neither do I.

Can I just say, Brisbane, as much as I love Brisbane, that's the only other city that I would consider living in other than Sydney. Really? You did put some Insta stories up. I've always loved Brisbane land, but they're so behind. Because I forgot my wallet, like my traditional acoustic wallet.

And I was like, oh well, it won't be a problem because I don't even remember the last time I used it because everything's on my phone now. My bank cards, my driver's license, it's all digital. Everyone was so confused by how all that shit worked in Brisbane. I pulled out my ID on my phone like you can in New South Wales. At the club, they're like, what's that?

You also can't tap on and off public transport using your card. You have to get a fucking... What do you do, coins? No, like the scabby version of the Opal card or the Mikey in Melbourne. So I had to buy some fucking card instead of just tapping on with my phone like I usually do. Like a sane person. Yeah, exactly. They're very behind.

They don't have digital licenses. Their check-in system is all running for COVID. That's what I was going to say because I was only in Brisbane a month ago for whatever I was filming up there and I had to check in with a pen and paper like it was prohibition. They don't have QR code? Nah, some places, but this sushi restaurant I was at did not. Yeah, no. They're a bit backwards. Well, we love our Brisbane listeners though.

Yes, of course. And coming to the show, you got to meet some idiots. Yes, I did. A bunch of them were there. Callum, Lachlan, Bailey. There was a whole bunch. It was lovely. I got presents from them too. I felt very loved. Can we talk about your drag? Or what?

Did you enjoy the drag performance? Yeah, I did. I was kind of like, oh, thank God it's over. It's not something I'm going to do again in a rush. Because I can't do makeup for shit. Like, I had someone doing it for me. That's what I was going to ask. You had a drag queen doing it, right?

Yeah. What was the name? Shout them out. Justine Diva. Oh, funny. So they did two hours worth of makeup in 30 minutes. 40, yeah. Actually, can I tell you, I was very late on stage.

They were like, Mitchell, you're on in two minutes. And I said, the hosts are going to have to pad out. I didn't realise that that's just radio lingo. They were like, what the fuck's pad out? I was like, just kill time. And so they get- Play a song. Apparently they padded out or tried to kill as much time as they could while I was getting ready in drag.

Because 40 minutes isn't long enough, soz. And then eventually they were like, everyone just go to the bar and get another drink. We'll be back in five. They threw another intermission for you. Which worked because then everyone was a bit more pissed by the time I came on stage. But no, it went well. It was good. Good.

I saw a little bit of it. You look beautiful. You actually did it for your first time in drag. I know. I'm good. Good. I saw a little bit of it. You look beautiful. You actually did it for your first time in drag. I know. I'm not even kidding. I did not know it was you. You looked hot. Thank you.

You know what they said to me beforehand? So will you need help tucking? Oh. I said, pardon me? Oh no. I didn't know that tucking was a thing. Holy shit. What an awful thing to do to your body.

But what did you? It's like male genital mutilation. What were you wearing? I can't remember now. I was wearing a dress and I had like some bike shorts on underneath, like some skins. So did you have to tuck? Couldn't you have just let it out?

No, I didn't tuck. I refused. Oh, good. I said, get your fucking hands away from my junk. I shan't be tucking. With a roll of duct tape. Can you explain what tucking is? I don't really know.

Yeah, because I'm a massive drag girl fan. Tucking is where, because when you're in drag, it's all about female illusion. And, you know, classic females don't have the bulge down there. I get female illusion every day of my life. People think I'm a woman. I don't need to tuck the junk. No, but these queens are in one-piece catsuits, right? And, you know, they're all very massive penises.

See, they've got to tuck them away. So what you do is you get apparently like heaps of pieces of duct tape and you make like a cup, right? And then you put it on your penis and then you literally spread your cheeks and pull it up in between. No. From what I've seen and been told, in between your crack. And then you get masking tape, stick it on the pad in front of it,

and then you tape it up. And then you tape around your hips so it's like a nappy made of duct tape. But that's not the worst part. Apparently they put their balls back in. In where? That's what I thought. Where did the balls go? Well, you know how when you go through puberty they say your balls drop?

I've heard, yeah. They just basically undrop them and just kind of put them up. And I'm like, I don't want to know where that is. I don't even know how to do that and I'm not interested. No, in the little sockets. That might have been there before. You know when it's really cold and you're swimming or you're in a cold pool? Right.

They're like little egg cups and they just slot back up. That has happened to me in the past. Well, either way, it wasn't happening. I said, no fucking way. I'm not tucking. No fucking way. I was the only untucked queen jesus well if it is your first time listening welcome to is it just me uh we start the show

the same way every week two idjams or is it just me's iijm something we've noticed something we hate or appreciate mitch doesn't know mine i don't know mitch's um mine is mine is odd and it's kind of a mind fuck but once you get your head around it i think it'll make sense and it's something that i've thought for years, but I saw a TikTok and it just triggered something in my brain and I need to get your opinion on it. Okie doke. Do you want to go first or should I?

No, I'll go first. You've done a lot of talking. That tucking's mentally scarred me, so I will go first. Is it just me or? Is the number nine boy? What? Yeah. Yeah.

Three? Three's a girl. No, I think three's a boy. I get boy from three. No, girl. Really? Yep. 13.

Boy. Girl. Girl. I see girl for 13. They've all got their own energy. I agree. So you guys agree with me? Yes.

Oh my God, this is a whole thing. Did you know this is called ordinal linguistic personification? Yes, I'm all across it. I've had a lot of arguments with people about what colour aligns with each day of the week. Oh, my God. And also what colour aligns with each subject in school. Like what book covering do you put on your maths book? Blue.

Red. Orange. Maths is red, you dog. your maths book? Blue. Red! Orange. Maths is red, you dog. Maths is so blue. It's orange. Don't be ridiculous. Maths is, but what's green? English. Yeah, I can see English. Or yellow. I could do yellow with English. No, that's HSIE. No, I get HSIE. Yellow society and culture for me. Green.

No. Anyway, this is a whole thing and apparently there are whole categories about this shit. It's called synesthesia is the overarching theme. So some people who have synesthesia can feel sounds. So if you play something, it actually causes them pain or in some cases pleasure. So like birds humming and tweeting can get people off.

Oh, it's not sexual pleasure, is it? No, but they can, yeah, or they can get a stomachache. People can get physically sick. It, it's not sexual pleasure, is it? No, but they can. Yeah, or they can get a stomachache. People can get physically sick. It's the same with colours. People can get physically sick or aroused. What about days of the week? Oh.

Ready? Monday. Are we doing colours? Are we doing colours? I just want to hear from you first. Okay. And I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. And are we doing colours?

Yes. The days of the week. Monday. Okay. Monday's blue. I would? Yes. Monday. Okay. Monday's blue. I would say so. Tuesday. Yellow.

No. That's Sunday. Oh, Sunday. No, Sunday. Sun. Yeah, true. No, but I'm not. No, this is just.

Wednesday. Wednesday. Oh, what do I get from Wednesday? Hi, wake up. Good morning. On Wednesdays we wear. Red. Pink.

Yeah, but it's not associated to pop culture. No, I already had it associated with pink. Really? The four mean girls, yep. Thursday's green. I don't know why it's coming to me. No, it's purple. Purple?

Friday, surely we can agree on this. Red. Yes, it's red. Saturday's green. Yep, Saturday's green. I pick green or like an aqua. Well, you've done Thursday and Saturday as green, you dick. That can't be right.

That's just what's coming to me. No. You know what else is weird? The way you align days of the week in your head. So when you think Monday through Thursday, what are you picturing in your head? Because I am literally picturing the days of the week like hung up. They're floating.

Like it's a calendar. And I picture Monday through Sunday. I can see them. And when I go, oh, my God, I've got something on Thursday, my brain will literally go to Thursday. I don't know. I don't see that. I don't know what I see.

I just think about it. I feel like. My thoughts are like a podcast. It's audio only. Really? Yeah. You don't see things. Well, like I imagine things, but I'm not seeing them.

Yeah, right, right. I don't know how to explain it. But also, this is how it started for me. I was driving to work today and it was 3.57 and I knew I had to be at work at 4.05. Right. I don't know how to explain it. But also, this is how it started for me. I was driving to work today and it was 3.57 and I knew I had to be at work at 4.05, right? And I said to myself, oh, okay, then I've got eight minutes to get to work. But how would you work that out?

If it's 3.57 and you've got to be there at 4.05, how would you work out how many minutes? Minus. What would you minus? The 57 to, what is it? Minus. What would you minus? The 57 to what is it? 405. Then 6783. Yeah.

987. What the? No. You've lost me. Sorry. Okay. So you've got to get to work by 405 and it's 357. So how I'd work it out, I'd go, well, I've got five minutes after four and then it's

three minutes. So that's eight. That's how I do it. I'd grab the five that I have and then add the three that we're missing. Is that what you'd do? I probably just wouldn't. You'd just be late. I'd be like, you're lucky I'm coming.

Really? Oh, my God. Well, apparently the way people add and create numbers is unique to yourself. It's so individual. There's not one way to do it. Isn't that crazy? I imagine there'd be more to this. I was finding the colour association way more interesting. Okay, all right.

And then you were like, oh, but calendars. And I'm like, no. No, no, no, no, no. I found I like the maths thing. Yeah. Because everyone considers it differently. Yeah. How would you get to that?

How would you get there? Doing minus. What would you minus though, Jenna? So it was four. 357 is the current time. I've got a headache. And you've got to be somewhere at 405. Okay.

So I would do seven and then minus two is five, right? Yeah. So it would be eight because it's minus two. So you'd pick the five from 405? Yes. Oh, my God. 107. Boy.

Tough dom top boy. 107 fucks hard. What colour is June? Green. No. Yellow. No. What do you think it is?

Oh, we can't get into it. We could be here all day in all honesty. All right. Well, I got my Idram out. Yours? Yep. Here we go. Is it just me or...

Our inside dogs, no good. Jenna, you did this. And this is very targeted because Jenna just bought her flea-ridden mud of a thing in this fucking studio and I did not find it cute at all. She's beautiful. I, on the other hand, loved. Tiger? Yes.

Mitch didn't love it. Why? I don't know why. I've just come full 180 because when I was a kid, I used to bring my little dog inside. Yeah. And little dogs to this day I think it's fine inside. They're fine.

But big dogs, I would always say to mum and dad, oh, why can't we bring all the dogs in? Why is it just my little one allowed? Now I'm like, nah, get them out. All of them out. Seriously. No, little ones are fine. I said that.

But, yeah, big dogs in the house, unless they're ones that are kind of well-trained and sit on the little bed in the corner. That's what she does. Then they get their huge fucking snout up in your business. It's like, nah, get out of my face. I seriously, I have a friend who has a husky. Oh, they're hairy dogs.

And he thinks it's so cute. But that thing's a monster. Like that thing puts my friend's mother in hospital because it like jumped up trying to be playful. It's one of those dogs that thinks it's a small dog, doesn't realize how destructive they are. And I don't find that bastard cute at all. It ripped my sock off my foot.

No kidding. And my friend's like, he's just being playful. And I'm like, he's attacking me. Oh, I hate that. Get it outside! I have a friend who has a ferret that would not stop biting my fingers and she thought it was hilarious. I'm going to get tetanus.

I'm going to need a tetanus. I'm going to get rabies from this animal. She's giggling her head off. Oh my God. I don't know what's happened to me. I've just become so intolerant for it. But Jenna's dog didn't start this. You've had this for a while. She's giggling her head off. Oh, my God. I don't know what's happened to me. I've just become so intolerant for it. But Jenna's dog didn't start this. You've had this for a while.

It's been brewing for a while. Yeah, like I have a family friend as well that I visit often. And every time I get there, I'm like, oh, I forgot there's a fucking dog. Because it's still young and so it's really playful. And, again, doesn't realise how big it is. It walks through the lounge room wagging its tail, knocking shit over and it'll come up to me and just stick its fucking head in my face. And my friend's like, oh, just give him a pat and he'll leave you alone.

And I was like, no, that's not how this works. I'm going to stand my ground and not give them any affection because that's my right. Yeah, but you know. And so as soon as I saw Jenna's dog, I was like, oh, a dog inside. I don't know what's happened to me. No, but on the other hand, inside dogs can be the fucking worst. Nothing worse than going to a house party, walking in. Hi, Mrs. Jones.

Great to see you, Mr. Jones. Beautiful house. Thank you for having us. Oh, you've got a dog. Little white Maltese. Crusty brown eyes. Oh, they're fine. Always named Coco.

It's just perched on the king furniture. Poof. And you go up and pat Coco. Stinks of a wet towel. And you go, I want to kick this thing off the balcony. There's nothing nice about a crusty-eyed wet Maltese. I'm sorry. I don't mind a little dog in the house,

but as long as it minds its own fucking business a bit. Like, I'll give it attention. I'll come to you and say, hey, but don't get all up in my grill. That's where I just have no patience for it anymore. I feel really bad. I used to be such a dog person. I've been converted now that I've got the cat. Yeah.

Oh, Isabella's sunk her little claws into you. Maybe that's what it is. If a dog has a cat's nature in that it just kind of sits calmly in the corner and leaves me the fuck alone. All good. Yeah. All good. Interesting. And Jenna's dog me the fuck alone. All good. Yeah. All good. Interesting.

And Jenna's dog, Tigger, is very long. Yeah, it's a gangly looking bastard. I tell you what, I walked in the room and it like swung its head in my direction and it was like I was getting headbutt by a giraffe. Oh no. I was like, get your snout away from me, you grot. Oh, it's fine. You're listening to Is It Just Me

Who doesn't love some free shit? All you have to do is leave a review Yes, you can leave us a review if you like Five stars please on Apple Podcasts or Facebook If your review gets read out And you're contacted by Pricekeeper Jenna within a week No, no, you have to contact Pricekeeper Jenna Oh, there's T's and C's.

We need to get them printed out. Well, Jenna's not paid enough to start hounding people within seven days. Oh, yeah, I've got your mug. I've got your mug. If you hear your review read out, you've got to DM us at couple of mitches and Jenna will send it out. Imagine that, Jenna sending an email every day. Hi, reminder, three days left.

No, well, that's the thing. If we gave Jenna that mission, she'd go overboard. She'd come to your house and be like, Oi, 24 hours left. Is that time? But trying to find somebody by that username, like the most random name. She comes to me and says, Mitch,

can I use the podcast budget to fly to Cairns? Someone with the same last name that I think might be her. I think it might be. I owe birth, deaths and marriages $3,000. Anyway, if you hear your review read out, you contact Pricekeeper Jenna. They've got a week to do it and you'll get a free Season 3 commemorative mug. You can also buy these in our Instagram bio. A couple of mitches on Instagram.

I'm actually drinking my cup of tea out of one of the new mugs right now. Oh, do some ASMR. Very, very pretty oh beautiful oh premium porcelain and that can be yours if you leave us a review can i just say yeah the the the store is back in action we had some teething issues i only ordered a handful of bugs to start with then they sold out really quick and it took ages to get sent more but now i've got mugs coming out my arsehole. So if you want to order one, please do. Mugs go off. I just sent off the last few and one of them was ordered on like 9th of June

and I was like, oh shit. Like it's taken that long for me to get more mugs. So they're in stock. So if you are waiting on one you ordered or one you've won, it's on the way. We've got them. This one comes from Nat Ferrigi on Facebook. Nat says, I've been sitting here for four minutes thinking of what to write and all I can think of is you guys aren't on radio way. We've got them. This one comes from Nat Ferrigi on Facebook. Nat says I've been sitting here for four minutes thinking of what to write and all I can think of is you

guys aren't on radio yet? That's a question she's asking. Your show is what everyone needs. All the mainstream radio shows now I find boring. She hasn't mentioned Mitchell Midnight when I'm assuming she goes to bed at night. All of you are very talented and super funny. I've got two kids so every time I laugh my pelvic muscles are

getting a workout. Wow, kegels for the moms. Wishing you guys all the best. Keep doing you. Love've got two kids, so every time I laugh, my pelvic muscles are getting a workout. Wow, little kegels for the mums. That's good. Wishing you guys all the best. Keep doing you. Love you all. Nat, we love you. And we will send you out a mug. Enjoy.

Thank you, Nat. Hopefully, if we do end up on radio, they bend the rules a bit for us so that I can say, morning, cunts. Yeah, I can play gunshots. I'm not sure how I'd go with the no swearing rule. No, you wouldn't be able to do it. Charlie Bell left this review on Apple Podcasts.

She says, now Monday's my favourite day of the week. I've been listening since day one. I've literally re-watched or re-listened, re-watched every episode at least three times because I can't do a day without listening to Mitch, Mitch and Jenna. Too funny. Honestly, if you ever need something to listen to, this podcast is the one and you will never go back. All the laughs I have on the bus to school are worth the weird looks.

Love you all. That's so nice. On our way to school. Imagine listening to us on the way to school. God, we are shaping the next generation of Bronx. Aren't we ever? Anyway, enjoy your mug. We'll send it out.

Yay. So, as you know, I did my first ever stand-up comedy gig in Brisbane over the weekend. Yes, round of applause. That's fantastic. Thank you. Takes a lot of guts to do stand-up. Yeah, it does.

The first stand-up gig I did, I felt like that didn't really count because it was just on TikTok Live, but this one there were people. And what a lot of stand-up comics do in the lead-up to gigs is they'll do open mic nights where they can test their material. And if a joke flops, they'll go, great, I won't put that in the gig. I did not do that. I didn't have the opportunity to do open mic nights and prepare material. I was just going to have to risk it.

If it flops, it flops. But anyway, that switch up concept with the drag element as well as the comedy element. They said that they're bringing it to Sydney and wanted to know if Mitchell Turi would do it in Sydney. Huh? Yeah. Yes. Who asked this?

The organiser. Get out. Would you be there doing it too? Obviously. Oh, then if you do it, I'll do it. Oh, my God. I'm a hard act to follow. Do you want me to go after you?

Oh, my God. What's my drag name going to be? Madam Fat? Oh my god! Rianasaurus? Rianasaurus? Rianasaurus is good! What about Selma?

Selma Car. Anyway, do you want to come to an open mic night? You'll have to test your material. I've done stand-up before, and it was rockier than that my first time. What was your first time? Oh, my God. Stand-up? I opened for the Thinker Girls, who are an old radio show.

It was rocky. Their fans are the most unfun people on the planet. Well, they're very PC, hyper PC. You might as well have been the opening act for Jenna's Feminist Book Club. Yes. Yeah, which is opening soon. We'll plug that later on the show. Yes, please do.

But yeah, I led with a lot of fat, self-deprecating humour. And they were all like, no, lift yourself up, babe. Do you know who actually gave me really good advice? Yeah. Em Rossiano. Yeah. So after my tiktok comedy set she messaged me and said babe just remember there's a fine line between self-hate

and self-deprecating and you don't want to cross that because self-hate comes across as really uncomfortable whereas self-deprecating is funny and i think that was her way of saying that i came across a bit self-hatey in the first one when i said that i was dumb as dog shit and stuff which i think is fair i am that's also very your humor. Sometimes Jenner and I leave going, does he hate us or does he love us? So that is very your brand. Yeah. Anyway. You did very well.

Round of applause. Thank you. Well done. Oh, my God. Maybe my drag name will come out in a couple of weeks. Oh, my God. This is exciting. Wowza.

All right, Mitch. Very proud of you. Thank you. As are the listeners. Guys, don't forget, Idja Mugs, season three, commemorative edition for sale. Is it just me? Instagram. I'll pop it in the group as well, in our Facebook group, Enduring Idiots.

Yeah, if you're not in the Enduring Idiots, you're missing out because we went live there last week. We said hi exclusively for the idiots. Also, free postage for the mugs, did I mention? Is that free? I didn't even know that. Have you not ordered one? Like I said, I'm very busy. The money would go into our

kiddio, so you'd be doing us a favour. Also, you'd be very proud of me. Those flowers I almost dipped into our kiddio for because I thought, they'll bring it up on the show. Well, you would have had to have asked for my approval and I would have said absolutely not, junior on probation. Get back in your box. That's what stopped me,

Jenna, because I don't have the BSB account number for our own podcast cash. The kiddie-ass. Every time I buy something for this show, Mitch is like, just send me the receipt. I'm like, I'm not an intern. Do you not recall that I fired you and put you back on probation? You haven't impressed me. When we gaslit you for your birthday

and we bought you Brie Larson's hit film, I had to send him a receipt and scan it. No, you still haven't. I feel like I did. No, but I was like, it's Jenna's present. I don't receipt and scan it. No, you still haven't. You still haven't. I feel like I did. No, but I was like, it's Jenna's present. I don't mind paying for it. That was awful. That was fine.

We laugh. All right, guys. Back next week for 73. His contraceptive diaphragm, Sam, died as well. Where has he been? Yeah, he's no longer with us. Where is he? I don't know.

But the show must go on. Amen. Proud of you, Mitchell. Well done on your first reunion. And Feral Street. We'll see you next week with 73 Guys. See ya. Bye.

See ya. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment on the end. We pretend we're done and then we go, nah, we're not. Keep talking. So if you've discovered this part, it's our little secret.

Hey, this is exciting. We just locked in Sophie Monk as a guest coming up. Did we? Locked in. Locked in as in locked in, locked in, or Mitchell Cheery locked in? We'll never get her. Can we do July 13? We've got to go to date.

So Sophie Monk coming up. That's because she's hosting Beauty and the Geek. Well, maybe you will pass probation. Yeah. Look at me booking guests. Well done. I don't know if I can announce this yet, but I may as well. I'm guest hosting an episode of Beauty and the Geek with Sophie.

Oh, that's right. We'll get her in and I don't know, you can ask her what it was like. Or we could brainstorm questions. That was a terrible question. Imagine getting Sophie in and you go, hello, what was it like? I literally know what working with you is like. I don't need to ask her that. Hi, Sophie.

What was it like? Nothing. Don't specify. Can we her that. Hi, Sophie. What was it? What was it? Nothing. Don't specify. Can we do that? Just to fuck with her? Just for our own entertainment? Oh, she'd be so good. She'd be like, yeah, I loved it.

Yeah, I loved it. And then we'll be like, no, not Beauty and the Geek. What was it? It. Just it? Yeah. Jackie O's menu log campaign? It was HelloFresh.

HelloFresh. Sorry. Oh, God. Sorry. I missed my Hello hello fresh when i was in brisbane what you missed eating it or you missed the delivery no it got delivered but i wasn't home and so jordan had to put it all in the fridge and i was like i actually really miss cooking it's become my favorite part of the day yeah 30 minutes or so of downtime well in the kitchen no technology my neighbors are on hello fresh too and my mum And my mum and dad came over on the weekend

and they must have elected to get it delivered on the weekend. Mum just assumed we also got HelloFresh. So when they left, when they left, so they'd been there all day. Yeah, see ya. We sat in the lounge. You take yourselves out. She brought it in.

We live in like a duplex. And so does your mail just go to the one pile? No, no, no. We have individual mailboxes. Okay, so she robbed your neighbour. She robbed our neighbour. And then we get a doorbell ring from our neighbour and we still don't go down because it's on the intercom. Hey guys, sorry.

Did you take a HelloFresh box? I'm like, no, you bitch. How dare you? So where was it? You've been to my house. You know how like if you open our door, there's like a hallway than our actual house door. Mum opened the main door and slid it in. So was in the front of our door so the neighbor couldn't see it and i went no we didn't and it was not until we woke up hayden works from home not until

i left at 2 p.m the next day that this melted box of vegetables and and hoisin sauce packets was out the front i went oh my oh, my God, we did. No, but they put a cooler bag in there with all the cold shit. It would have been fine. Oh, true. I reckon it would have been fine. Anyway, so I had to apologise gravely. And Mum was like, I thought you guys were on HelloFresh.

No. Well, if you're not, you've got to use your code 40MC to sign up. That could be either of us. Who knows whose deal that is? Can I be completely honest? When I first started working with them, I was like, FML. I hate cooking. I don't want to do this, but whatever, I'll do it. And then I fell for my own bullshit.

My own salesmanship. I now love it, genuinely. Yeah. I actually fucking love it. I've had it before. I've had Every Plate, which is great. Never heard of it. Always mentioning rival clients, Tim. Well, it's my current client they own every plate so it's fine it's a family business

family business yeah mr hello owns it all he's married fresh they went to school together hello fresh Aren't they fresh? Oh, the every play was good. I'm the face of YD's 2021 campaign. You don't see me wearing it because I don't fit in it. Oh, no. I don't fit in it. Sorry, I shouldn't laugh. No, it's fine.

They own Johnny Big Man. They've got nice clothes, though. Johnny Big Man? Yeah. Yeah, if you're though. Johnny Big Man? Yeah. Yeah, if you're a corpse. Corpse? Yeah. Sure, if a corpse looked like Uluru.

Shoot me. What are you doing? I can see you clicking away a bit. I'm timing out my national night show. It doesn't matter. I should announce this. This is very exciting. I haven't told anyone.

I've told you. This show has been one big jerk off. I should announce this. This is very exciting. I haven't told anyone. I've told you. This show has been one big jerk off. I have an announcement. I'm working with Sophie Monk. I'm the face of YD. Oh, another announcement. No. For the next two weeks.

For the next two weeks, I'm not doing nights. If you're in Sydney, I'm doing a winter breakfast show. So by the time this comes out, I'll be waking up at 3 a.m. So Mitchell, you literally cancel that lifestyle out and i begin i need tips what's some tips how do i prepare for 3 a.m wake up so great question thank you um the best thing you can do is put your phone on a charger away from the bed so that when your alarm goes off you have have to physically get up. Oh, good advice. And then when you're up, just resist every urge in your large body to get back into bed. Just be like, no, I'm up now.

Having said that, all you do is turn the alarm off and then don't use it for the first 20 minutes. Don't touch your phone again for the first 20 minutes of the day. I don't expect you to do this, but I would do a couple of Pilates stretches, make myself feel a bit away go to the kitchen make a cup of tea and breakfast salute to the sun at 3 a.m yeah and then after 15 minutes of screen free time or 20 minutes depending how much you want to commit to um then you can use your phone and that will make a big difference to your day okay good advice never

hit snooze that'll fuck you up when do you do you eat food? Because that's where my brain's at. I did mention that in the... No, no, but do you eat... Is that your breakfast? Hey, Mitchell. Yeah. Stop looking at the screen. Put your hands off the mouse.

Look at me. Sorry. That 15 minutes of screen-free time makes them bricky. Get up. Turn the alarm off. Skip the stretches. I don't think that's going to happen. My hamstrings are...

Then go get your food. Okay. Jenna, do you do the going to happen. My hamstrings are placing forward at this point. Then go get your food. Okay. Jenna, do you do the same? Absolutely. Make sure you eat before you come in. But what about coffee? How many coffees do you run? Because I'm going to be running.

Don't have coffee because that will give you like mega anxiety first thing in the morning. So tea. You can have coffee when you get here, but have tea at the start of the day. Oh, really? I thought it would shock my body. Yeah. Freak me out. Yeah, that's why I had like a mad anxiety problem at the start of 2019.

Not to mention the millions of listeners and adoring fans. What? Little be listening. That'll add to the anxiety. Right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, of course.

All right. Good to know. And then what time am I going to have to fucking go to bed? My body clock is set to 1 a.m fall sleeps um i don't know up to you mine's 9 p.m and you wake up at at 3 45 yeah i'm gonna get into the studio at four can i give you a good app to try and get you to sleep i want to get you to do it now actually okay um i'll do it i'll give it to you on my phone because i already have it um can you do that thing where i plug my phone into the aux cord so everyone can hear it

yeah do you have an aux cord um i think contraceptive diaphragm sam has one on his desk yeah go grab that and also grab those three portable mics there because jenna and i are gonna have to talk into those so that you can't hear us. So this app is called Luminate, everyone. I've heard of that. It basically, it's like a meditation app, but you face your phone camera towards you and it flashes your phone flash at you, like the camera flash. And it is said to replicate the experience of an LSD trip. So I don't mind me a virtual LSD trip before bed, just quietly. I'm going to give that a try. Oh, it's great, Jenna.

You start picturing really weird shit. Really? Yeah. Oh, my God. I can't wait for Mitch to try it. It sounds like I'm selling this app. I wish. Like, I love it.

No, it sounds so good. What's he doing? Dithering is what you call it. No, it sounds so good. What's he doing? Dithering is what you call it. Got it all. Okay. Set that up. I'll get these going. Turn them on.

You need to hit record. Yeah. Thank you. I haven't been out of the biz that long. Okay. So is the app connected? Yeah. So this is Luminate.

Okay. It's a meditation app, but you hold it next to your face and the phone flash goes off and makes you feel like you're having an LSD trip. Oh, then I'll turn the lights off. Turn the lights off. Exactly. I might even turn the TV off. You need to be the darkest room possible.

Okay. All right. So lie back in your chair. Get really relaxed. Close your eyes. Okay. Maybe I should get a tripod to hold the phone. No, it's fine.

It'll work. Am I pressing play? Yep. Turn mine and Jenna's mics off. All right, they're off. Am I opening my eyes or closing them? Closing them the whole time. Turn your phone so the flashlight is facing you.

Okay. Close your eyes and then take a couple of big, deep breaths. You got a text! Now, hang on. I want to say something else. I want you to forget the fact that we're recording a podcast right now. That's easy. Forget that you're on show.

Just really lap up the moment, all right? All right, all right. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Okay. Ready? The flashing's about to start. Oh my God, I'm so excited. Oh my God. Like I'm a bottle.

Oh, it's strobing. Though we are all very aware of life's ups and downs, we are often less aware of the extent to which our natural bias focuses us on the negative aspects of this journey. Take a moment to imagine yourself walking or running against a strong wind. Walking or running against a strong wind. As you battle against it, it continuously consumes your thoughts. Once you reach a corner... Yeah, he's got the strobe light in his face.

And after a few minutes, you seriously, Jenny, start picturing the wax shit. Oh my God. The flashes start circling in your mind and stuff. It's great. Wow, I've noticed it's gone brighter. The same tends to apply in life, with us only noticing what's wrong or what's missing when things feel difficult, rather than appreciating and learning from what's making us content

when things are going well. making us content when things are going well. First, think about the last time that you felt a feeling of contentment or happiness. It could be now, or sometime in the past, even if it was just a fleeting moment. Picture what this moment felt like to you. looks like some cracked out heroin donkey on the street he does he was a fella it's really knocking him out

imagine if he had an epileptic fit. Oh, my God. See how the strobe slowed down? Yes. And now it's getting faster? Yeah, it affects what you're seeing in your mind. Wow. Now he's very much in the zone.

If you guys don't have an iPhone, you can just do a tab of acid before bed instead. Give it a try. Oh, God, it's gone really fast. All right. Relax. Sorry. I fucking want to shit myself.

Now that we are more aware and mindful of this feeling of contentment, let's try to understand a bit more about what underpins it. All right, I can do this at home. Why does this moment... Oh, my God. What did you think? Jesus Christ. Do you feel like going nine eyes?

I actually do. There you go. So you do that before bed? Yeah. Sometimes I do it during the day. I just put the blinds down. I feel like going nine eyes? I actually do. There you go. So you do that before bed? Yeah. Sometimes I do it during the day. I just put the blinds down. I feel like an acid trip. I was seeing, I saw a giant praying mantis.

I'm not joking. Sorry, Jenna's mic's off. Wait, did you really? Yeah, I swear to you. I was seeing wacky shapes. What did you picture when they said to think of a really perfect moment of contentment? Oh, it was. The first time you of contentment? Oh, it was. The first time you entered Hayden?

No, it was actually this morning with Hayden. We had a very nice moment on the lounge. I had nothing to do and we were just being very lovey. Oh, that's lovely. That was today. That's so nice. And then I thought about when we didn't have to do the live on Sunday. That was pure joy and bliss.

Yeah, can we talk about that? Why? All staff meeting. Oh, no. I'm very zen. You don't just not do it. No. That's not when the manager isn't there.

No. Because if you're not there, I still go on without you, don't I? You do, actually. So if I'm busy, we have to have a discussion. Yeah, we didn't discuss it. Because we got people in the group saying, oh, they left me hanging. I was waiting for it to start. Oh, no. And I'm like, just because I have a commitment doesn't, oh, they left me hanging. I was waiting for it to start. Oh, no.

And I'm like, just because I have a commitment doesn't mean my staff can let me down. Jenna, we should have done it. Yeah. Or you could have, like, done it and then crossed to me for a couple of minutes and then I would have dropped out and then you would have carried on like I've done for you so many times. Many times. He's got a good point.

Although I haven't missed a line. I'm not even putting on an act. I was really fucked off by that. Oh, sorry. I was like, it's not even me. It's them. It's the listeners that were there on the dot waiting for us. They sit there with rosés.

Although someone did post on Endured Idiots and they said, oh, you know, I know why it's not happening, but I still miss it. That's what I mean. They know why, but it should have happened because that reason only affects me. Very true. Apologies, Mitchell. That's a genuine heartfelt apology.

Because I was frantic. I forgot. And I was like, oh, my God, it's 6.40 p.m. Yeah. Surely Mitchell would have gone live. Actually, my first thought was, I bet he just didn't do it. And I was right. He was right.

Proving himself right. We should have spoken about it beforehand and come up with a plan. But I was busy. You weren't. Well, I wasn't. We can learn from this. We can learn from our mistakes. Anyway.

Wow, that really worked. What's the app called? Luminate. True contentment. Let me go through some of the others. Oh, you should go to the one called Intense Exploration. There's no voiceover. It just makes you fucking trip out for 15 minutes.

Sleep Reflection. Is this a paid app? Not all of us have Tinder money. Oh, my God. I can claim that app on the kiddio now because we use it for content. Now that we have cash. All right, guys. Thank you for listening to the show.

72. What a hoot. We'll be back next week. I genuinely feel really zen. That's good. And the lights are off as well. And so what I do is I, after that, I then just get up and put my phone away. But I try and, this sounds really whack, but I try and keep my eyes closed while I was doing it.

Because if I put my eyes open, then I'll wake up again. So I try and like find my way over without opening my eyes. Just keeping them shut after that. You know what would be good? That, then your lavender eye pillow that you bought us on the eyes. Yep. Absolutely. Especially in winter. You can put those in the micro for about 10 seconds and that'll be warm. Can you? I haven't tried

that. Wow. Did you guys ever have a wheat bag? I know they're different. Yeah, I've got one right here. Do you? Oh my god, he does. I did my shoulder at the gym. Oh, did you? Yeah. Any gym update? What are you doing? You feeling happy? Yeah. Good. Did you see that TikTok of the guy going on a rant about my weight the other day that was fun i went and commented it was kind of iconic oh it was hilarious but who is this man i don't know it was just odd it was so odd he spoke

like he was the year above you and like he was school captain. He was close to you. It's on my TikTok if you guys want to see it. My flesh, babe. I commented a few weeks ago, about a couple months ago, that he absolutely fucking stacked it on. Which he fucking did stack it on. He stacked it right on. I don't give a fuck if it's because of depression bills or whatever the fuck it is.

I'm not going to lie to your fucking face and tell you you look good when really you don't right so fucking be grateful for cunts like fucking me he's gone and done something about it and now he's lost the fucking weight he now looks good but it's all because of my fucking comment right i've been wearing the same size clothes this whole time how are you noticing this small change in my figure? Yeah, also, you've just started at the gym. Three weeks ago. He must see you at the gym.

And you know what fucked me off about it the most was that he felt like because you were at the gym, he was the one who caused you to go to the gym. He was like, yes, he must have seen my messages because he's done it. And if it wasn't for my comment, then he wouldn't be at the gym. And the comment he was referring to, saying that I've stacked on the way,

he wrote that in February. So if it was the motivation, it took me quite a while to harness that motivation, waiting until June to go to PT. Yeah, and dull. I mean, let's be real. Since fame hit you, he's embellishing there a bit, isn't he? Exactly. I was like, who do you think I am?

Ever since you started hosting the project. What? Ever since you took over for Ellen. Ever since you became deputy leader of the Nationals party, you've put on weight. What? You're on the wrong page. Oh,

fine. I've got a good feeling about next week. Seven and three are my favourite numbers. So, seven, three. Seventy-three. Boy or girl? Girl. Yeah, 73 is a hot. Definitely a girl. She's got a good rack on her. Now, is that the tip of the seven that makes me think tits?

Like, what is the... Wouldn't it be the three? The three are more than one. Yeah, maybe. But I guess the tip of the seven is like a big old hair, like a nose. Like, yeah, she means business. So it's Gladys Bear as you cling on. Next week is Gladys.

Can we get a politician on the show? You can do what you like, honey. It's your podcast too. Yeah, I am guest booker. I'm guest booker officially. Sophie Munn's booked in. Yay! That is booked in, Mitchell.

Okay, if you want to do a trial period as the guest booker, that will bring you out of your internship. If I get Sophie? No, a trial period, that's not one job. Oh, true. If you get Gladys one guest, you go, yeah, no. Well, I've got Sophie, it's been confirmed, so I'm going to try and

get a politician. What the fuck will we ask them? Can your homework be to just get someone that's so not on brand for the show yeah like someone who we would never usually get like i don't know alan jones like the most left-wing prumix ween like someone who we will never get along with huey from huey's kitchen bring him in i'll spit in the face shoot my God, okay, we could call it off-brand. And it's just getting guests that are so off-brand but are so right.

Yeah, but the odd thing is that someone being off-brand is kind of on-brand for us because we would do that. Yes, you just call it black and gold like that. Like the off-brand. Everyone's like, welcome to black and gold. And the poor guest would be like, what? Who's someone not on brand for us? Terry Irwin.

No, we'd get Terry. I would love to chat to Terry. Oh, we wouldn't. Guys, so good to be here. No, that's Indy. No, Terry has a weird hybrid. Oh, no, she's like nine with an American. You think?

Yeah. Oh, she is American, I guess. And she still tries to pull off, get a. I'm like, shut up. In every interview. What about... Who? We got...

What's Hugh Jackman's wife? Debra Lee Furness. Debra Lee Furness. What about Tom Hanks' wife, the one that got COVID and gave it to Richard Wilkins? Rita Wilson. Rita Wilson. Rita Wilson.

Oh, Rita, good to have you on. What about Neil Armstrong? He's dead. Buzz Wilson. Rita Wilson. Hi, Rita. Good to have you on. What about Neil Armstrong? He's dead. Buzz Aldrin. Oh, I could. I could. Get the Mars rover in.

Who's someone just not on Rand? Carrie Ann. Carrie Ann is so off, Brad. Carrie Ann is the antithesis of this show. Did you think that Bishop wanted to Talk shit about Kerri-Ann but she just couldn't Like I gave her the in You could see it She was scrunching a stress ball One of Mitch's ooshies

The head of marketing for Woolworths Great to have you here Sam Thompson That's on brand we shop What's something we don't do What if we got like a football commentator? Ray Warren. I was about to say Ray Warren. He could commentate a show.

Bo Ryan. I love Bo. I love Bo. He's a friend of ours, but still not on brand. Great. Get him. Get him. All right.

So my task to get out of my, what's it called? Probation period. No, internship. And to graduate to a guest booker role, which would be more money, I'm assuming, Jenna, I have to book a guest that isn't Sophie, that's not on brand. No, I don't think you realise the role's ongoing. You can't just book one.

No, I know. If you cease to book guests, I'll fire you again. Got it. Okay, that's how employment works. It's just clicking. All right, I get it. It's like, you want me to go on radio every night, boss? I did it last week. I'll do one!

Anyway, winter breakfast starts tomorrow. It's huge. Oh, guys. Anyway, we hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today, guys. Oh, I'm on 2% fat milk, just to add that in. I know it's got nothing to do with anything, but I've made the switch. Oh, yeah, the Paul's Smarter White Milk.

Have you seen the ad with the old lady? No, there's no ad. I haven't been influenced by an ad. That ad's been around for decades. Have you not seen it? Is there an ad? No, I just saw it at Tram Shed's grocery room. I was like, that sounds fine.

What's 2%? I'll try it. There's an ad. Find it. Stop the music. Oh, all right. You're joking, right? Of course I'm not joking. You know that ad. Find it. Stop the music. Oh, all right. You're joking, right? Of course I'm not joking.

You know that ad where she's like, an extra dollop. Extra dollop. Beg your pardon. Just look up Paul's real milk ad. I'm on air in 11 minutes. Doesn't matter. How do I do that math? This is important.

10 plus 1. There's two people sitting at a cafe. Oh, it's an older lady. Is it the old lady? Yep. Okay. Surely you've seen this. Is it the old lady? Yep. Okay. Surely you've seen this. Oh, come on.

A bottle of milk, thanks. Low fat, no fat, full cream, high calcium, high protein soy, light skim, omega-3, high calcium with vitamin D and folate or extra dollop. I just want milk that tastes like real milk. Real milk. This tastes like full cream milk. And only 2% fat. There it is.

Call Smart a white milk. Ah, I get it. Smart choice. Maybe we should do a top five ads. Can we? Yeah, that could be good. Anyway, let's go. Enough talk for the day.

We got sidetracked. We'll see you next week, guys. Thank you for listening. We love you. Don't forget five-star review, win a mug, all that shit. But we'll see you in a week's time. Enough talk for the day. Yeah, sorry, we got sidetracked. We'll see you next week, guys. Thank you for listening. We love you. Don't forget five-star review, win a mug, all that shit. But we'll see you in a week's time. Can't wait. Catch you then, guys.

See ya. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Bye.