Is It Just Me? - #73: Live From Bogan Gate

Episode Date: July 5, 2021

Sydney is in lockdown & Coombs is in bloody Bogan Gate! What could possibly go wrong?In this episode:Wtf is a ‘Royal Commentator’?! (05:24)Our Sophie Monk fuck up (09:39)This week’s reviews (14:36)Talkback Tingz - Poetry inspired by John Laws (17:57)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (35:31)Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Television legend Kerri-Ann Kennelly fell several metres from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pippet. Some things make more sense than others. Ring Pike's Nurseries. What nursery? Pike's. P-Y-K-E-S. P-Y-A. K as in kill.

P-Y-A. K as in kill. P-Y-E. K! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. What about me?

Don't forget Chin-O. Who? Now, here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coombs. Out one in person. Welcome to episode 73, one digitally, live from Bogan Gate. I feel like I'm doing a Channel 9 cross, Mitchell Coombs. Oh, I actually wasn't going to address that I'm in Bogan Gate. It's illegal for me to leave Greater Sydney.

Thanks for that. Oh, no. Well. I'm only kidding. I got the clearance to leave. It's fine. I was only kidding. I wanted to freak you out. Thanks for that. Oh, no. Well. I'm only kidding. I got the clearance to leave. It's fine. I was only kidding.

I wanted to freak you out. But no, I'm in Bogangate back home on the farm. This will be interesting. Isn't modern tech beautiful, Mitchell? We've managed to do the show. I know. We've managed to do this. How's Sydney lockdown going?

I fled. Oh, God. Well, I started the biggest career achievement to date, my own breakfast show on Kyle and Jackie O's time slot. Finally get a producer, two weeks nap, Sydney lockdown. I mean, come on. So there's less people in cars actually listening to your momentous radio promotion, but that's okay.

But I don't mind. I'm enjoying it. I'm having fun. I'm good. We're safe. Jenna's here as well. Hello, Prizekeeper Jenna's in. Hello.

Actually in studio, in the flesh. I can see you. How's isolation? Not isolation. Quarantine for you, you all right? It's been okay. Yesterday I spent time with my cat and I wanted to see her reaction to the cat soundtrack, the original Broadway recording.

And she really liked it, especially Jellicle Cats. Really? She'd be the only one in the world that enjoyed the remake too. Oh no, she didn't listen to the remake. Oh. I wouldn't give her that. No, no, no. Wasn't your last cat deaf so you weren't able to do that with her?

Yes. Yes, Crumpet. Crumpet, of course. Cinnamon Toast. So are you guys essential services or something? You're not having to work from home? You're in the office? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Playing stupid radio games, getting people to guess if it's a fart or a crack is essential. I'm actually getting the vaccine this Sunday. I'm getting Pfizer, guys. How? I have my brain condition and my sister is a frontline worker, so I have double the reason. And I applied the day before lockdown and they're like, book in for next Sunday. I'm like

great then lockdown hit now you can't get it for months but Hayden and I booked in and we're both getting Pfizer Sunday can you believe wow wow isn't Pfizer the good one what's the what's the crap one that apparently people don't want the astro projecting yeah AstraZeneca AstraZeneca yeah um it should be a great drag name for me. Please welcome to the stage AstraZeneca. She will kill the stage. No, I'm getting Pfizer. Don't be afraid of the vaccine, guys. It's brilliant. Science is amazing.

Vaccines are hot. Get vaccinated. Even AstraZeneca. I kid, I kid. Apparently it's risk-free. It's fine. But there you go. You're getting the jab.

Lucky you. I know. I'm the first one. They're like, any heart problems? I'm like, probably. But there wasn't a box for that. So I said no. And here I am getting it on Sunday. So, ooh, our live will be happening like hours after I get my vaccine.

So we will see if the service is good on the live. Because apparently the 5G and the vaccine will help me. So it might boost the signal. Oh, yes. Sunday night Instagram live. You'll have a little band-aid on your shoulder. Yes, I will. I'll put up a little Insta story with the Let's Get Vaccinated sticker and everything.

It'll be the full show. But welcome to the show. If it's your first time listening, this is Is It Just Me? Every week we start the same way with two Is It Just Me's. Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mine this week is something that stemmed from the breakfast show. I did an interview with someone, which was great. He was very lovely, but it made me think, sir, you're useless.

God, that's harsh. Okay. Lovely guest. In society, what role do you serve? It will all make sense when I say it. What do you have, Mitchell? Mine is about something that's really troubling the people out in the bush, as you know.

I'm at home on the farm at the moment, and there's something that's really troubling people. But I reckon it's a problem in the city as well. Really? What? That you're a gay man there? They're terrified? No, that's got nothing to do with it.

You're actually a local celeb in Bogengate, aren't you? Well, I mean, the pool is pretty shallow as far as celebrities go in Bogengate, so I guess so. Other than Shannon Knoll from Condobolin like a half hour drive away I'm it really interesting all right well two e-gyms I'll do mine first I think I will jump in but also we're doing another round of um you've brought this to the table Mitchell but we're doing talkback tings on the show today right yes a lot of people say this is their favorite segment I was listening to like six hours of talkback during the drive back home and I finally found something cooked. I was like, oh my God, I have to bring that up. I think it's brilliant.

It's a bit out there, but I think that you could actually implement it into, you know, Sydney radio, Mitchell. Oh, listen, I'm on breakfast number one. Sorry, but I'm in front of Jonesy and Amanda, so we will have to see. We'll do that later on in the show, Talkback things. Are we ready for my idger? Yeah, let's do it. All right, let's go. We'll do that later on in the show. Talk back to you. Are we ready for my idjum? Yeah, let's do it.

All right, let's go. Is it just me or? Are you unsure what purpose royal commentators serve? It sounds like a self-appointed job, right? Yes, it's not a role. I mean, I would love to be a McDonald's commentator, but it doesn't exist. No. Who says it doesn't?. I was like, no. Who says it doesn't?

But maybe that's my point. All these royalists have come together and gone, hey, we're just obsessed with this drama. Pre-Crown on Netflix, there was this underground cult obsession with the royals. They all must have a Reddit page or an email thread, and they decided to be royal commentators and commentate on the royal family.

But they all have the weirdest connection. Like there was a royal commentators and commentate on the royal family but they all have the weirdest connection like there was a royal commentator today because it's princess diana's it would have been her 60th birthday uh but she was murdered assassinated by the royals allegedly and uh i heard one on the news today and he went yes princess diana frequented the local cafe that i went to and i knew i I knew that she'd hate this statue. How? How would you know? Do you remember just before the Meghan and Harry's Oprah interview? Yeah.

And I'm pretty sure there were YouTubers who did a prank and got all these royal commentators and said, this will be aired after the interview. Just act as if you've seen it. And they all acted as if I was disgusted when Meghan said this. And they were if, oh, I was disgusted when Megan said this and that. Oh, I think that it was clear that Megan was lying. You could tell from her body language. It's like, you haven't seen it, dog. It hasn't happened.

It makes me sick. And literally, I'll get one this morning on the Today Show and go, yes, I was walking past Windsor Castle and I knew Elizabeth was seething at the new statue of Diana. how did you know you have no right to say this and what the fuck's a commentator you got a tennis commentator go for it you're watching you're watching sport football commentator yeah fantastic you're watching something happening but royal commentating isn't real it's kind of like social commentators. Like, you know, those prune McSweens of the world that just kind of get up on breakfast TV or any sort of panel show and just go on rants.

And it's like, what qualifies you to go on these rants? Why is your social commentary more important than some clown typing comments on Facebook? It just, I don't get it. Yeah. You have a flannel shirt, Mitch. You're going to rebrand as a flannel shirt commentator? I don't think so. I could, but I don't have a lot to say.

It needs to be something that you could honestly commentate about. Like if you get a nerd started on Minecraft, for example, they can talk for hours. They won't shut up. I don't think there's anything like that, that I could be a commentator about. You could easily be like, I don't know, a RuPaul commentator or a Maccas commentator, as you said.

Jenna could be a murder commentator. I'll try and be a McDonald's commentator. So, Mitch, pretend we're on a breakfast talk show and Maccas has just dropped a new menu item. So to comment on it, you've got Macca's commentator, Mitch Mac. I don't know. Because that's what my name would be. Mitch Sesame Seed.

No, we're not doing a fake name. We're doing this as though you could actually do this tomorrow. Like this could be your new gig. You could leave radio and become a Macca's commentator. Okay. All right. I've got news music if you want it. I do have it.

Yeah, right. Hit it. And the Big Mac, as we know, it is about to get a makeover. They're expanding the family. We cross now to our McDonald's commentator, Mitchell Chury. Mitch, what can you tell us about the new burgers? It is great to be here, Mitch. You are cute as a nugget.

I would wrap you in sweet and sour if I could and I would. Let me tell you, it's a pleasure to be here today. And the new Mac range is expanding its shores to Australia. Long time coming. New Zealand, Asia, Paraguay, China, and we believe Madagascar have had the Mac range since 97. And of course we didn't have the Mac range in 97 because of the massacre that took place on Mac Street in 1997.

Of course it was a bit on the nose. Okay, you're just making shit up now. I can't submit this as an audition to any of the TV stations. That's what they do. They find links and they fluff shit up. Anyway, that's my agent of the day. I've got it out of my system. You ready, Mitchell?

Yeah, let's go. Is it just me or... Is TV so confusing now? Yes. Like the shows? Yes, all the free-to-air TV shows. They're like swapping channels and it's so hard to keep up. I might even do a quiz with you guys, right?

So Australian Idol, where would you find that? Channel 10. Well, it used to be, but it's coming back to 7. Get fucked. Yes. Farmer Wants a Wife. Where would you find that? Nine.

Oh, that's nine. No, Channel 7 now. Again, Channel 7 just seemed to be picking up all the oldies. Do more, do more. Dancing with the Stars. I think that's back to seven. Yeah, I think it's- But it was 10.

It was 10 because Grant Dania's 10. Yeah. Yes, it went seven, then 10. Now, back to seven. What about Beauty and the Geek? Where would you find that? Oh, I'm on that show. I do know that.

Channel 9. Is it 9 this year? I would say 10. No, it is Channel 9. I also got it wrong, Jenna. Can I tell you, Mitchell? You know how you told us last week that you'd locked in Sophie Monk to come on the show?

Yeah. So she's hosting Beauty and the Ge locked in Sophie Monk to come on the show? Yeah. So she's hosting Beauty and the Geek and she's going to come on our podcast to promote it. And before that, we'd spoken off the cloud about getting her on the show. You said, oh, let me reach out. And I just didn't believe you. I thought you would, like you've done many times before, not actually do it. And so I took it upon myself to reach out to one of my publicists,

but I emailed the wrong TV station. Oh, no, because you were so confused. Who did you email instead of Channel 9 Publicity? Well, I thought Beauty and the Geek was on Channel fucking 7, didn't I? So I emailed them and said, hey, who's looking after Sophie Monk's press schedule? And they were like, we can't help you with that. She works for Channel 9.

And I was like, oh, no, I should have just trusted Mitchell. I should have. Look what I've done. I've made a fool of myself. I'm on the fucking show. This is the one thing that I do know. The one time I can actually get a guest. I know. You can't believe me.

I seriously thought it was on Channel 7. Since when is it on 9? No, I completely agree. I even said to the team, oh, what's it like working at Channel 7 when we were filming? Thank fuck production company was running it and not Channel 7. They're like, oh, babe, where are Endemol Shine? I've got no idea.

This is Channel 9, though, just so you know. I'm like, oh, thank God. You're like, I wore red for this. What do you mean it's Channel 9? Well, can I just say, if you think TV is confusing enough for us, it's even more confusing in the country, right? Did you know, Mitchell, Jenna would know being from Dubbo, did you know that all the stations have different names out in the bush?

Why would, for what reason would they need to have different names? That baffles me. Because it's like they've got their own TV networks, but they simulcast whatever's happening in the city. Like the last few years, Channel 10 have been called Wynne, right? And I don't like that because it was originally Channel 9 was Wynne. That's right. Channel 9 was Wynne for ages.

Then Wynne became Channel 10 for the last few years. But today, I'm not even kidding, literally today they swapped again. So Wynne is now Channel 9 and Channel 10 shows will be on Southern Cross 10. It's very confusing, especially for old people like my mother. She was complaining to me this morning about actually – I'll see if she's here. Jane. It's her house. She's near.

Jane. Yeah. Come in here. Probably in the kitchen, Paul. In the new bathroom. Jane? It's her house. You'd hope she's near. Jane? Yeah? Come in here. Probably in the kitchen, Paul. In the new bathroom. Jane was telling me this morning she's very upset because she's very confused about her favourite show. What were you telling me?

Mitch and Jenna are here. Hi, Mitch and Jenna. Hello, Jane. Hello, Jane. I was having a bit of a whinge because I love watching The Bold and the Beautiful and I won't know what channel to put it on now. Oh, no. That's very important.

More on the news, I'd say. Of course. So where was it before? It was on Channel 8. Right. So you press 8 on the remote. Now what do you press? 5.

There you go. You know what you're doing. You'll be able to find it. Yeah, well, I hope so because I don't want to miss Brook and Ridge. You never know what they're going to get up to. Yeah, exactly. All right. Thank you, Jane.

See you, Jane. Love the new bathroom. There you go. So if it's confusing for young people like us, what hope do the elderly like my mother have? It's like whenever people tell me that they don't listen to podcasts because they find them confusing, I'm like, what do you mean? Our podcast is in the same place.

True. Whenever you want it, you can listen at any time you like. Just choose an app and it's there all the time. There's no chopping and changing like all the bloody TV channels. You know the one network that never changes? The fucking porn channels. What's a porn channel? Always 97, 98, 99.

Sexy singles in your area ready to play. What? Jesus, I don't know about you, Jenna, but they didn't have that out in the country when I grew up here. No, they didn't have it. Gee, the suicide rates would drop if you did that. Oh, that's a roadblock. You're listening to Is It Just Me?

The podcast that bribes you for your praise. All right, yeah, you leave us a review. Five stars, please. It keeps us going on the cloud. It's like giving a homeless person a cheeseburger. It will keep us on and plus. What's the weirdest analogy you've ever used? But it worked.

Everyone knows. That's how we pay Janet too, just to double beef and bacon on the day. Wow, a Macca's heavy episode. Are you hungry, darling? Yeah, I've been up since three. I've only had a bowl of Sultana brand and it went fucking soggy. Oh, yeah, that stuff does go soggy, doesn't it? How upsetting.

So I didn't get to eat it. So no, I haven't had any food, but I'm running on two oatmeal glattes. So let's get some reviews on. If your review is read out, Pricekeeper Jenna will send you out a rare Season 3 commemorative Idgen mug. Mitchell, where can people buy these? Head to the link in our Instagram buy if you want to buy a mug. If you can't be bothered rolling the dice and trying to win one

by leaving a review, you can just buy yourself one. But if you do hear your review read out, you have to message Jenna within seven days. Jenna, can I ask actually, how often do people not message you within the seven days? Surprisingly, quite a lot of people. Really? Yes.

Yeah, well, that's their own fucking fault. Yeah, it is. If you leave a review, you've got to listen to hear if it's read out. That's how this works. Hey, Josh Maxim, if you're listening, buddy, you've got yourself a mug. You wrote, best podcast ever on Apple Podcasts. I've been listening since day one. I haven't looked back.

I've been listening to Coombs since. Sorry, Churi. I look forward to my Mondays to have an hour to sit down and enjoy my time. Sorry, did he actually say what he's been listening to? My old podcast, I'm assuming. Yeah. Not my cup of tea. Not my cot.

I don't know. No wonder it was cancelled. Historically cancelled. I low-key want Churi to be my personal stylist because you're always looking bougie. Oh, I take that back. I'll say, fucking, not my cup of tea. Who gives a shit when he compliments me?

P.S. Love you, Jenna. All dogs welcome in my house. What a cunt. Did he just call you a dog? He's great. I like him. How disrespectful.

That was in reference to last week when I said that I don't like inside dogs. Oh, I thought he was saying, love you, Mitch. Love your old podcast. Mitch, your fashion's great. And Jenna, every good podcast needs a good dog. Jenna, mutts like you are welcome under my roof. Thank you. Thank you.

That's the best. We will send that mug out. What's your name? Josh Maxim. All right, this one is BrentJD1999. Good year. Keeps my drive to work fun. I live for this podcast.

I've been following all of you guys for ages. I love both Mitchells and have always had a good laugh in the car every episode. I didn't realise how funny Jenna was. I remember hearing her when she was working with Jason PJ in Melbourne. Oh, yes. Which is the Kiss Breakfast show that you had a short stint at. Oh, nine months. Then there were allegations, but we won't go into those. Thank you for the weekly podcast.

Also for the smaller ones, when I don't have enough time for the full episode. Oh, Mitch, that's you. You make the little snack of it. I love that. I'm glad someone appreciates it. I'm catering this podcast to those with short attention spans like myself.

So there you go. It's working. That's BrentJD1999. Thanks, Brent. All right, don't forget, leave a review. Seven days to get in contact with Jenna and get a free Season 3 mug. You can buy them on the link in our bio. But today, are we all ready for our fan favourite segment?

Of course. Let's roll Talkback Tings. So Talkback Tings is where we play the weird shit that happens on Talkback Radio. It's such a unique cooked world of its own, isn't it, Talkback Radio? Oh, my God, it is. And coming from FM radio, tight, bright, no dead air. You move on. You don't really have conversations unless that's the point of the whole segment.

But Talkback, now, they've got to fill endless amounts of air. Well, I heard something during the six-hour drive back home to Bogengate, where I am right now, and I thought, oh, that's very out there. That's odd. But I'm thinking, Mitch, you can implement it into your FM radio world. So John Laws, right? Yeah, the king. We've heard from him quite a few times in this segment.

He was taking a call from someone and halfway through he sort of just broke into song what but he wasn't singing it was more like poetry right it sounds weird but give it a listen i really think mitch you should take this on board i don't think i need it i think my show is just fine but uh all right we have the audio this is john laws on am radio 1-300-564-652. Should you like to give us a call and tell us what... Sorry, that fucking number. Simplify it. It's like 1-300-John-Lawes.

It spells his name. Their listeners already have damaged frontal lobes. Like, don't make them have to... Ours is 13-1065. Easy. 1-300-16... I'm pretty sure... You know when you used to text on a Nokia

and the letters and numbers would be there? I'm pretty sure 1-300-whatever-it-is, that spells 1-300-John-Law. Oh, my God. Like 13-WS-FM. Oh, that's actually smart. So they catered for that back in the day when that was really cool. But he doesn't say that. He says the number in full, 1-300-564-65.

His listeners can barely remember to take their blood pressure medication, let alone that number. All right, here we go. Continuing the audio. It is on your mind. We'd better talk to Ross. Ross, are you there? Yeah, mate. Speaking.

Okay. What do you want to talk about, Ross? Oh, yeah. Just I had a bit of a culture shock myself the other day. I drive a truck up and down the coast and Queensland coast and out as far as Mount Isa. And I was getting ready to climb into my truck and the gear bag was missing. Five minutes on the front steps.

And I come from a country town where you went down the pub and you left your wallet and your money on the bar when you went to the toilet. Yeah, nobody touched a thing. Yeah. on the bar when you went to the toilet. Yeah, nobody touched the thing. Yeah. God knows what's happened to that lovely attitude we used to have in little towns where you could do anything you like.

You've just got to be so careful these days because the world has become a much more violent place, a much more dishonest place than it used to be. What? Yeah. And, you know, everyone looked after everyone else. That's right. Everyone looked after everyone else. Now's right. Everyone looked after everyone else.

Now it makes you really paranoid about people, you know? I remember a story I did about little towns. I might read that for you. Oh, no. Yep, yep. Okay, Ross, turn your radio on and listen because it's a good story about little towns. Are you ready?

Where did he get a guitar from? Let's just think about the magic of the little town. A little town is where everybody knows what everybody else is doing. But they read the weekly newspaper just to see who got caught doing it. A little town is where if you get the wrong number you can talk for 15 minutes anywhere. If you want to. In any town

the ratio of good people to bad people is 100 to 1. Where did you get that statistic from? The 100 are uncomfortable. In a little town the 1 is uncomfortable. The small town policeman has a first name. The small town school teacher has the last word. The small town preacher is sometimes a full-time farmer. The small town fireman takes turns. And you say, why would anybody want to live

in one of these tiny, blink-and-you-miss-it towns? I don't know. Maybe because in the class play, there's a part for everybody. What? In the town jail, there's rarely anybody. And in the town cemetery,

you're still among friends. Oh, my. Mitchell, what did you think when you heard that live? Well, I mean, I'll be honest. I did think, what the fuck is going on? Where did this come from? And I also did think, oh, he's clearly not reading that live. His voice sounds way younger. Yeah, that was in the mid 80s at least. The phlegm wasn't on his

throat as well at that point in time. But then I thought, this is John Laws we're talking about. He has been in radio for 400 years. And so there must be some key to his longevity. And I feel that that might be the fact that he really thinks outside the box. So, Mitchell, I think you should take inspiration from his poetry. I was quite inspired. And what, start some poetry on the night show or the national breakfast show that I'm doing? No. Precisely. That's what I'm thinking.

You've got this new fancy radio gig you're doing, Breakfast Hours at the moment, and I was thinking you should call your boss and find some gentle guitar music similar to what John Laws has. With a pan flute. Yeah, pan flute. And then just say to him, hey, man, I've got this idea. Can you let me know what you think of this? And then wing it. Just improvise something similar to that.

Hold on. Wait a second. I don't want to implement this in my show. I've got enough content. I'm more than a crosshead. Hey, if it's good enough for the great John Laws, it's good enough for you, Bucko. Exactly.

You can learn a thing or two from him. I feel like poetry could be your thing. I found some music. This is perfect. Oh, this is lovely. Sounds like something from Banjo-Kazooie. Okay, so call your boss, DB. No, I'm going to call my producer.

I'm going to call my producer, Alex. Alex? Yeah, Alex is my producer for the winter breakfast show that I'm doing. Wait, is that the same intern, intern Alex that we had on this podcast? We brought her in to oust Jenna. Oh, my God. Yes, we did. And then we offered her a role on this podcast as a producer

and then she ghosted it. Oh, my God. She fucking did the bitch. Never came back. Never. We did a welfare check and we just presumed she was dead. I thought she was. So she's back from the dead working on your radio show, is she?

Yeah, she got the call up. She's my head producer. She's alive? Yeah. Wow. I can't believe she faked her own death just to get out of working on this podcast. That's unbelievable. That's something I would do.

You should imagine myself when I got a call from a number. I thought, it's a poltergeist. Anyway, so maybe call Alex then, your producer, and just say, oh, God, this is actually better because she'll be really polite. She won't have the heart to tell you that it's fucking stupid. Yes. She'll be like, hey, babe, I'm thinking outside the box.

I want to bring something fresh to the radio show next week. What do you think of it? And then what do you want your poem to be about? Or maybe ask her. Now, what's my poem to be? And I'm going to have to have an idea for a poem. What about Princess Diana's mural? Nah, you do better when you're improvising.

Maybe ask her to give you a random topic. Yeah, okay. Oh, good, yeah. Okay, all right. I'm going to dial her through. I'm going to connect my phone so she knows it's me. Fucking hell. Can I hear the music again?

Yeah, I've got options. So there's Gentle Guitar No. 3, which you've heard. Okay. This sounds like the final ballad of the Titanic as it's sunk into the North Pacific. It does. Yeah, that one's too emo. It needs to be a bit inspiring.

Yeah, yeah. I know. This one sounds like New Poised Panty Liners by Libra. It does. Yeah, it does. I like the Bachelorette. I choose soy milk because I don't want calcium intake from regular milk. That's why I drink so good.

All right, now I like three. This is it. This is it. Okay, that's it. All right, I'm going to call her. But I'm going to get her opinion on which. Hello, it's me. It's me, you nut.

What? Are you on speakerphone? Rule number one, like I taught you. I'm driving you, pep. Oh, I had an idea for the show I'm thinking um you know how we have Tom Gleisner from have you been paying attention Monday yeah I'm thinking on Tuesday just to like tie into that comedy aspect and the fun we should do like I should do poetry on the Okay. Like live poetry, live lyrics about a topic that's current. Okay.

Cool. Fun. It'd be like, yeah, like a slam poetry kind of thing. Yeah, not even slam, like inspiring. Like I want to inspire people, like kids listening. What's topical? What's happening at the Mo in like culture? Well, I mean, you could, you know

Kind of do something inspiring in terms of Britney, you know Britney Spears Own your own shit Don't let people control you Oh my God, Britney Spears could be good I'd just like get some music out and I'd Like I'd sing to music like this It'd just like get some music out and I'd... Like I'd sing to music like this.

It'd be like... We knew you from a girl. Young, tight and cute. But now look at you like an old haggard boot. Free Britney. Let her out of that cage. Poor, poor Britney. It makes me filled with rage.

Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Her father doing this. I despise! Something like that, you know, like a poem, a current, yeah. Okay, fine. Yeah, that could work. Or what else is topical? Um, well, I mean royals are always topical. Royals! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You shouldn't have got

in that taxi cab. I'll die. Why did you have to die? You would have been 60 today. It's the 60th anniversary of her life. There was a statue made for Diana. It was built from concrete and lime. Concrete and lime.

Her beautiful sons attended. Tension was at an all-time high. No sign of Queen Lizzie. No sign of Charles. Philip wasn't there. I guess he probably couldn't because Philip died. Just like die. Oh, Princess died.

Yeah, see, I think there's something in die too. I love it. All right, well, we can talk Monday and then we'll send it to management because I reckon that's good to send to DB and the bosses. Yeah, I love that. Okay, fabulous. All right, thanks, Alex. I'll talk to you over the weekend. Love you. Love you. See you. Thanks for the tips. Yeah, I love that. Okay, fabulous. All right, thanks, Alex. I'll talk to you over the weekend. Love you.

Love you. See you. Thanks for the tips. Bye. Oh, my God. Wow, that didn't even feel like a prank call. That felt like a genuine fucking brainstorm. And you know what?

I'm sold. I loved it. I actually might run that audio on Monday morning. That was inspirational. Oh, my God. That was actually quite impressive. You know what? Maybe save it for when you're back doing nights radio

because I believe you don't have a newsreader, right? Yeah, I have no newsreader. That could be your way of keeping people involved. You just sing the news at them. Imagine Sandra Sully doing that. Oh, my God. Twelve dead in a car crash on the hume highway this morning do you know what the most impressive part was what what what the fact that john laws's poem

wasn't actually rhyming i don't know if you've realized that but you you managed to make yours rhyme even though you didn't need to guys Guys, I've been to fucking theatre school. I studied improv. If there's one thing in life I can do, I will never be a builder, never be a salesman. If there's one thing I can do, it's fucking rhyme on a song. I don't know where that is ever going to come in handy, but you know what? I've got it. Yeah, you've found your niche and you need to go for it. I think this is your new thing. I mean, I'm saying this now, like, oh, you should definitely start doing this on radio or on our podcast. But I think if one week you came in and said, I have another poem,

we'd be like, oh, the moment's passed. We're just caught up in the moment now. Well, geez. Nice to know that I've got an enabler for an executive producer in my big break. You know that I obviously have more honesty than that. I'd tell you if something is shit. What do you mean you would?

You do. I'm like, Mitch, why don't we make pancakes on the show and throw them at Sam? And you go, no, darling. I think that's a great idea. Can we do it? Guys, week four without Sam, is he okay? Oh, yeah. Who knows? What's he okay? Oh, yeah. Who knows?

What's he doing? I don't know. Well, I think he might be caught up in Sydney lockdown. True. We forget that Jenna and I are essential. And as are you, Mitchell, to do those TikTok stories. And he's not essential. He's not essential.

No. Oh, my God. Can I tell you something? Just because we're all friends here and I know that I'm in an environment where I'm not being judged. Of course. I'd fucking slaughter someone for a vape right now. we're all friends here and I know that I'm in an environment where I'm not being judged of course I'd fucking slaughter someone for a vape right now do you not have one no I thought because you know I've been weaning off them slowly yeah I thought that if I was going out clubbing and stuff it'd be like temptation oh I'm with friends social vaping

but because we're in lockdown two weeks of no clubbing or any socializing i'm like now's the time yeah so i haven't bought a single vape with me to bogengate and oh oh it's not easy to be fair i did think that you were in my neighborhood this morning when i woke up sydney was blanketed in fog and i thought shit mitchell coombs is back in town but no it was. But no, it was just thick, natural fog. It wasn't you on the vapes. I was very confused for a moment, but it was all cleared up. Wow.

What a show. You know what? Round of applause for us. Well done. Another isolation show. I mean, we're in studio, but Mitch, you're on Bogengate, and we made it work just for you idiots listening. Yeah.

I was only going to come home for a couple of days. This was always the plan even before we went into lockdown. But now that I'm here, I'm like, I might just stay put a bit. I'd rather be locked down with the crisp country air than in Sydney. Are you guys, so can you like go out and shop like without masks or is it New South Wales wide? No, because I came from Sydney. I still have to obey the stay at home order. So I'm stuck on the fucking farm.

I'm only allowed to leave for, like, employment purposes, so the only time I've left is to post the Is It Just Me mugs that people have ordered. Just reach out to the Parks Dish and ask if you can do an Insta story for them and give them $10, and there you go. Pay leave to Buggin' Gate. All right, thanks for listening. 73, Is It Just Me.

You can follow us on socials. A couple of Mitch's back on the TikTok. Now that Mitchell doesn't have an actual full-time job. He can edit again, which is great. And I feel bad saying that, but I've got, guys, my only skill is able to rhyme and sing songs on the spot. But Mitchell's skill. I don't know what you're talking about. It's not like I ever stopped editing. No, I know, but you were busy for a period.

But now, oh, my God, the TikToks are back. I had someone message me and go, I'm so glad I found your show on TikTok yesterday. Yeah, a lot of people do come from TikTok. So give us a follow if you haven't already. We will see you next week for 74. And, of course, we'll see you on Instagram Live this Sunday night. We do it every week, 6 o'clock on our Instagram page. It's week and by mugs as well.

And leave us a review, five stars. It keeps us going on the cloud. In the meantime, Mitch, stay safe in Bogangay. We'll see you guys next week. I will. Catch you guys next week. Bye-bye. See ya. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you've hit follow

on your podcaster app. Thank you. Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment on the end. We pretend that we're done. We go, bye, guys, and then we keep chatting away. Only our favourite listeners have discovered the secret, though. Yeah. Sometimes the best part, sometimes the worst. Most of the time it's the worst.

I would say it's the worst, which is why we keep it a secret. We want people to think that we're kind of okay at producing a decent podcast, but this bit is just us talking shit. This is kind of like the after party. You know, sometimes you have a great party and it's produced, right? There's cake and there's lolly bags and there's the event and there's performances and there's speeches. It's a whole production.

And then you go, you know what, there's an after party. Not everyone's invited. You don't have to come. We're just going to Jono's. And it's going to be loose. Like bring your own alcohol and like no promises. You might get a blowy in the backyard. But hey, so you all go.

Sometimes the after party is the best part. And you're just all sitting around. And sometimes they do keep the after party a secret from some people. Like, you know, they don't want the daggy aunt coming to the fucking after party. Oh, yeah, they're like, me and you, Mitchell, and everyone at Kyle's 50th, we go to his after party. You get straight in because Mitch is so confident. We're on Kyle's yacht.

I think we mentioned, oh, maybe we've told this story. Anyway, Mitch walks straight into the after party and I go up and my name's not on the list. He's like, no, you can't come in. I'm like, I'm a cash cop. Let me in. Yeah, I got let in. No worries.

It's like Mitchell Coombs, is it just me? And Kiss FM walks straight in as a cartwheel up the steps. And then I can't even get in. I've got Kiss tattooed on my fucking forehead. My year 10 after party was really good. I remember it was a huge event. Year 10? Who has good memories from year 10 parties?

You wouldn't have been drinking or anything. Yeah, we were. I was really straight and really skinny. Yeah, but you wouldn't have been drinking. Yeah, of course I was. My parents let me drink. I had double backs and UDLs. Why?

Because you've always been, like, not much of a drinker. It was a rite of passage. I lived in the Shire, for God's sake. Had a couple UDLs, you know, fingered a girl in the backyard. It was what we did. Oh, how revolting. I did. It was a rite of passage. I lived in the Shire, for God's sake. Had a couple of UDLs, you know, fingered a girl in the backyard. It was what we did. Oh, how revolting. I did. It was awful.

What was your U10 formal mix? Did you have a U10 formal, then a U12 farewell? I don't think I even went. Actually, no, that's a lie. I went to the junior dinner dance with my girlfriend. Oh. I know. I got her a corsage.

I was very charming. I can imagine. Then what about year 12? Were you out in year 12? I think by the time we had our graduation, I'd come out to a few friends. And so by that point, I didn't have a buzz cut. I had a quiff, the gay rite of passage.

And so, but I wasn't like out now. Like, I don't think I told my parents at that point. But yeah, I wasn't like there with a fucking guy, put it that way. Jesus, yeah. Now, did you guys have awards at your formals? Oh my God. I was talking about this literally today with mum, right? Yeah.

So I feel like they just put these awards on shuffle and give it to any old clown. Because I got the school spirit award, which is absurd because my bragging right was that I had not been to a single swimming or athletics carnival the entirety of high school. And I openly had no school spirit. So for me to get the school spirit award was just fucking ridiculous. school spirit. So for me to get the school spirit award was just fucking ridiculous. There were people there who actually had the school spirit and were there leading on all the fucking chants, give me a B, and they didn't get the school spirit award, but I did.

It was ridiculous. Yeah. I remember I got, we all voted in my year, so mine was legit. And I remember Carly Bakewell came up to me and said, Mitch, you've won three awards, but you can only have one for fairness, so you get to pick. What? Yeah. And I got to pick out of class clown, biggest gossip, or best personality.

Oh, so they were like joke awards. Yeah, well, best personality was a bit fucking arrogant, wasn't it? But, of course, that's the one that 50 – no, how old would I have been? 17-year- old Mitch chose. I was like, best personality of Bodewell. It'll be great on the resume. So I go, I want best personality. But then I was torn with Class Clown

because a lot of my comedy icons have always said I was Class Clown. But I went with best personality and I got a sash. A sash. I was emceeing the event so I gave it to myself. It was awful. It was so awkward. What about the people who won Class Clown and all that? My Class Clown, I think, is dead. Has anyone from your year actually died?

Oh, how horrific. Have they? Not my year, but there's been people above and under, yeah. Yeah, a guy in my year died. I was very upset about it. I actually liked him. He died in a car accident, I think. Oh, that's awful sorry mitch

i've had that too we it does you know what as horrendous as it is it does unite a year like or it does unite a group of friends at that age in those formative years having something traumatic happen really unites a bunch of people oh no i'm talking after we graduated oh post-graduation oh yeah at the five-year reunion it's like whatever happened to that guy kev ah dead oh Oh, no, I'm talking after we graduated. Oh, post-graduation. Oh. Yeah. At the five-year reunion. It's like, whatever happened to that guy, Kev? Oh, dead. Oh.

Oh, no. We didn't have our five-year reunion because apparently I was meant to organise it. And you know me, Mitchell. If that was the case, it was never happening. Oh, you were not going to have a 10, a 20, nothing. Why the fuck were you meant to organise it? They said, you were school captain. You needed to organise it. What? Yeah. I'm like what about Melke to Campbell? The female

school captain. She could have fucking pulled her away but no she's working for Rio Tinto in the banks. Too busy. Right. God. Why would they expect you to organise it? Do they realise what they're up against? No I was very organised in high school. I had nothing else to do. School was my life. I loved school. So

like I was pouring myself into that. Yeah. When I came home the other day, I was looking through my cupboard and I had all my folders that were colour-coded and really organised and you know how you get the dividers for each subject and I was like, fuck, I was organised. Look at this. Oh, my God.

Did you guys have a school folder? Yeah. Like, I remember when you get to year 10 you got your backpack i had a lunch pack fruity tooty break him a little glad ziploc bag and then once you get to senior the one the uniform changed and two the um the backpack you got rid of the backpack and you got like a giant clip folder that has the ring binder like a big thick ring and you didn't have books you just had a loose leaf pages with dividers that was like English, extension English, drama.

And I'm like, what? Books are so much easier than this. But we had to go to the folder. Did you guys have folders? Why is it just like there was no directive that we had to swap from books to folders? Why is it just like an unspoken rule that once you're a senior, you use folders now?

You don't use books. I've never even thought about it, but it's true. Did you do folder too, Jenna? Yeah. Yeah, I did folders too. It wasn't enforced. It was just the thing to do. I don't think anyone ever questioned it.

No, I agree. I don't think I would have gotten in trouble if I suddenly used books in year 12. No, I remember Jerome Simpson used books and they were contacted and he was horrifically bullied for it. I didn't bully him. I was school captain. I was social commentator I was very good

I don't think you're capable of bullying anyone To their face True Also I'd feel too guilty If I ever did bully anyone And I'm not endorsing it This is me I would apologise whenever I'm left

Yeah you would And then I'd bully them back It'd be a cycle of constant bullying To bully the bullies It was awful Backward Robin Hood I loved school. Like, I actually really enjoyed it.

No, I did not. Jenna, what school did you go to? Oh, it was a long time ago. You know how it is. Of course. You still had the death penalty. Yeah. If you didn't eat your crispics in the morning.

Yeah. Oh, I was so close. So close. Oh, the only subject you could do was home ec. Yeah. Nothing else. Didn't you? Oh could do was home ec. Yeah. Nothing else. Didn't you? Oh, of course, yeah.

Jenna's first school is now a heritage listed site. Yeah, it is. It is. It's an abandoned termite infested shed. Yes. But my second has been turned into a museum. So that's nice. Oh, beautiful.

Because that's where the dinosaurs asteroid hit, right? Mitchell, my school is sinking. What? Oh, what have you done? Well, I was there for seven years of it so no it's sinking because we're built because i'm in i was in the in the shire which is like botany area where captain cook landed horrifically and it's all mangroves there like water so the school is built on mangroves so it's literally mud there's no there's no ground under it so we sink so every year we go down in two millimeters it was like an old school

myth and uh when it rains we get flood because we're like underwater under sea level it's awful yeah that happens with my childhood home the one that i'm currently in that um oh even when my brother was renovating the the bathroom just the house either sinks or like the clay beneath it during the drought in particular because um the soil was so dry it actually did the opposite like it expanded like and the house was like reverse sinking and so when my brother was renovating the bathroom and stuff they they started getting like cracks in the wall and shit it's very weird building a house upon clay don't recommend it oh good i'll just i'll have to call my builder and let him know yeah use concrete hayden said to me the other day he's like we should buy a house i'm

like we can barely afford the fucking bts maccas meal buy a house that's what he said how he's on that tiktok money oh god you're starting to get that, like, commitment fear, aren't you? He says buy a house and you're like, no. No, I don't have commitment fear. I just don't know if I could. You have to go to a bank, don't you? Yeah. It sounds like a lot of work buying a house.

So much time. And they're like, what's your credit score? I don't have any credit. Like, I've never had a credit card in my life. I've run out of credit. I'm too scared of after pay. Yeah. I'm like, what do you mean, babe? I don't use D credit. Like, I've never had a credit card in my life. I've run out of credit. I'm too scared of after pay. Yeah. I'm like, what do you mean, babe?

I don't use Dodo. I've got a plan. My dad pays for it still. Does he actually? No, he stopped when I moved out of home. He literally sat me down and was like, mate, this is disgusting. I'm paying your phone bill and you have your own national radio show. Something's not adding up.

And I went, you're right. You should also be paying my internet. No. And he pulled it off. Look who's here. Who's here? Oh, come in. Come in, Mitchell.

Look who's here. Mitchell can't see. How the fuck am I supposed to look who's there? I don't want her to come in. Why? I don't like her. Oh, yeah. Jenna is very upset.

Bring her in, ladies and gentlemen. No, I don't want her to be here. Well, you'll know. Some fans will be excited. Is she coming in? We just waved her over and she... What is she doing? Is she there?

Let me see. Are you coming in, Mr. Aghast? I feel like one of the listeners right now because I've got no idea what's going on. Oh, this is exciting. This is like a... Here she is. Don't say a word. Don't say a word.

Sit down on mic number three, please. Mitchell is on remote, the satellite from Bogengate. You're on mic three, and they are going to give you clues in a different voice. And I don't like them, so that's the first clue. Oh, my God. It's Natalie Penfold. No, who is? Oh, I can't hear anything.

Oh, she's got no headphones on. I also have a blocked ear. Oh, how'd that happen? I was sick, not COVID, had a test. Yeah, good. And then the fluid moved to my ears. I can't hear a fucking thing. Well, Nat, we need to get you back on again properly sometime soon.

We need you to guest host the show again. Mitch is saying we need to get you back. No, Nat, you can still put them in there. Look. She's used to the Edge studios where instead of a microphone, they're talking to a tin can on some string and hope it broadcasts. Hello, Mitch. Hi, darling.

Can you hear him? Turn it up. I can hear a bed. That's it. Can you hear me? I can hear you. Interesting. Can you hear me?

Yes, I can hear you, unfortunately. Speak, Mitchell. We're in the same room. Of course you can hear each other. Can I move to mic four? I'm not allowed. Oh, no, Jenna. Remember, give me the headphone jack. So, Mitchell, we had to set up. Oh, yes. Because Mitch is on satellite. You're going to mic four? I'm not allowed. Oh, no, Jenna, remember we had... Give me the headphone jack.

So, Mitchell, we had to set up, because Mitch is on satellite. You're going to have to stand right next to me. Oh, now Brayden's coming in. Hold on. Come in, Brayden. Come on. Oh, just forget about it. Bye, Brayden. Do you want me? No, just before you leave, we'll talk about your mic. Yeah, okay, thank you. Bye, thanks, Brayden. Nat, come in here.

Okay. I don't want to speak to her that badly, in all honesty. Mitchell? Yeah? Oh, hello, her that badly, in all honesty. Mitchell. Yeah. Oh, hello, darling. Oh, there you go. You can hear me now, can you? Hello.

Are we sharing a mic too? Can I bring my mic over? Yeah. Okay. This is like you as school captain. Go get the mic. I've only got a few minutes. That's fine.

Yeah, but everyone, it was Nat Penfold. I was just saying that we should get Nat on to guest host the podcast again, but now I'm having second thoughts. Yeah, sorry. It was very unprofessional when I came in here. It wasn't at all prepared. It was spontaneous. I had an issue with my studio.

I've got a voice track coming up in a couple of minutes. Oh, are you sure? You're live on air, are you? Yeah. Oh. I really can't hear a fucking thing. Oh, fine. So you're liquid on the ear.

Yeah, in the eardrum. I was going to go, you know those candles where you put them in and burn them? I went to get one of them and the pharmacist was like, what's wrong with your ear? And I said, I think it's blocked. And she said, no, no, no, that's for wax. So I had to get, you know those bottles, you put water in them and they're sachet and then you put it up your nose and you squeeze it. Like a nose douche.

Like a sinus, yeah, nose douche. Had to get one of those things. God, they're horrific. Have you done them before? I quite like them actually. I like them after, during it's very invasive. Like, you have to squeeze it into your nostril, and then out of your other nostril comes the snot, and you've got to keep your mouth open. Sometimes a bit comes out your mouth as well. If you haven't done it before, your nose is so sensitive, and it feels so awful. Yeah, it hits the back

of your... It's very cleansing. I quite like it. Yeah, it's not bad. Oh, I got in trouble. I used my boyfriend's one. He's like, are you kidding? I was like, mate, your tongue's been on my arsehole. And you want to worry about my nose douche. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get off. Relax. I came in hot, didn't I? You did. That was a good joke.

You should leave now because that was a high. What's coming up on your show today? You know, just a lot of music Yeah, some of the hits Yeah, heaps of hits, heaps of R&B What does that stand for? Rhythm and Blues

What, Mitchell? Rhythm and Blues, I didn't know that Rhythm and Blues, I thought everyone knew that Get out I didn't know that I thought it was Roomba or something Roomba? Right, Roomba

Was that supposed to be Zumba, but Roomba? Right, Roomba. Was that supposed to be Zumba, but Roomba? No, Rhythm and Blues, apparently. There you go, the more you know. Alright, thank you, Nat Penfold. Can you unplug my headphones? That was chaos. Bye, Mitch. Bye, darling. I can't hear him again. We'll talk to you again soon.

She's leaving. What did I bring in here? Nothing. Just your attitude. Goodbye, Nat. Thank you, Nat Penfold. Well done, well done, well done. Isn't I bring in here? Nothing. Just your attitude. Yes. Nothing. Goodbye, Nat. Thank you, Nat Penfold. Well done, well done, well done. Isn't she just a treat? No, she's not. Yeah, so that's what I mean when I say this part is not the best part of the show. Entertaining

though. Did you guys hear Braden the technician? Yeah. He said, talk to me before you go. Do you know why he wants me to? Oh, are you in trouble? No, I'm not in trouble. I've mentioned this on the show before. When you reach a certain point in your career, in your radio career,

you get your own microphone. Right. Kyle's is gold. Jackie's is diamantied. Amanda Keller's is woodgrain. Jonesy's is made of misogyny. It is not. Jonesy's lovely.

What would that be? Just famous women's faces with X's on them? No, it would just be like newspaper. Jonesy has endorsed this show. It'd be Bob Hawke, Tony Abbott. Oh, Tony Abbott. He's the one that copped the fucking misogyny speech definitely plaster his fucked head all over it um anyway i'm getting my own microphone and i'm getting it

custom so i can pick any any texture any color any feature um and i don't know what i want to get what should i get if you're listening dm me tell me what you think i should get because it'll be in all my videos my show i'm on it. What should I do for my mic, guys? Oh, God. There's a world of options, isn't there? Very unrelatable content, but you can still help. Why don't you get... A dick.

Why don't you do that? When people used to do, like, Scoobies, they would, like, plait, they would string things together. Just get Scoobies all around it just scooby the bike yeah that's actually funny yeah what's wrong with a scooby or what if i just what if i go to woolly's headquarters and ask for ushis and just hot glue ushis all over my mic that way if i drop it it won't break that's you'll have crap falling off it. That's no good. I thought, what about Hot Wheel Flames? Like a scooter. Like a razor scooter.

Yeah, like a razor scooter. Yeah, like a pair of Heelys. Make it look like a green machine. Oh, my green. Oh, my God, purple or pink flames. Kiss colours. Because my mic's black, Jenny. You can see it.

They could just matte black it and then on the base through flames coming up to my mouth that are bright purple. I quite like that. What else could you do? What if I get it painted like a Harry Potter wand? Can you get a long one? Make it a long wand. We've got the long stick ones

that I get. You were talking to one of these ones, Mitch. So do you, Jenny. You've got the long ones. But I've got a broadcasting mic, which is like thick. It looks like a submarine. Make it a submarine. That's funny. That's funny. Or a telescope.

What if you made it look like a toilet paper roll, even with like a little bit of toilet paper left and everyone's like, what? Oh, my God. That's really good. That's good. That's good. I'm going to send you, Mitchell. i can get it chromed as well like i could also make it like metal what does

that mean chromed chromed like sparkly like silver like kyle's is gold right but like i could make mine like that shininess but in any color okay idjim yellow, I wasn't going to say anything, but that'd be nice. Well, yellow is my favourite colour, so it's not even to do with Ijum. It is my favourite colour. Cute. You should do yellow. I could do yellow. That's going to look a lot like the golden microphone, though.

You don't want to be accused of copying him. What about a yellow submarine? Oh, my God. Because I'm such a Beatles fan. Yes. Your favourite band. I love their hit song, Lady God. Because I'm such a Beatles fan. Yes. Your favourite band. I love their hit song, Ladybug. Yes.

Orange. I do like orange. Matt, orange could be good. What about like a Downmation print? Oh, my God. What about a black and white checkerboard print? That could be fun. No, that's very JJ's belt.

It is. It is. So is Flames. All I'm thinking of is like it reminds me of that fat, chubby IT kid from iCarly. He always had like a black button up with red flames coming from the bottom. Like that's what I'm picturing, but I want it. Like it's self-aware.

It's referential. It's not like this is cool i'm a hot speaker you know what if you made it look like a red velvet cake like you've cut open the cake and that texture oh my god yeah like a cupcake like the top is the icing where i speak into here yeah that cool what about rainbow because i'm like i could go a red velvet cake right now hey have they made it to bogengate or are they still on just Chockmard? I don't think I'd be able to get it anywhere in Bogengate, but surely Forbes or Parks would have a red velvet.

Can I get a red velvet cake, please, at the local bakery? Ha! I'm not putting material into my cake. No, ma'am, in Sydney that's a flavour. You wacky new city folk. Next you'll be asking for a corn roll cake. Sorry to make fun of the locals. No, no, it's fine.

That was a joke because red velvet is a type of material. Yes, it's a material. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do know that you can buy it at Woolworths in Dubbo, so surely Parks and Forms. Mitch, is there a Coles or are you like running an IGA that has a local family surname attached to it? Like Richie's IGA.

Both. There's like Woolies, Coles and then Bernardis. It's Bernardi? Yeah. Yeah. Also, how funny is this? You know how Target used to have like the mini version of Target called Target Country that they would have out in country towns?

Yeah. So they got rid of Target Country recently and Jane was devastated. She's like, well, my kids have moved out. There's no Target Country. What's the point of even being here? And so she was devastated. But they've changed it into a mini k-mart and guess what mini k-marts are called oh what k-hub oh i think i watched a great twink being crouched

on that last night yeah i feel like i've been stuck in a k-hub once or twice after puft of on early sunday morning oh very true that's isn't that where you buy ketamine on King Street? Isn't that called the K-Hub? It's a weird name for it, isn't it? But, yeah, I still haven't been because I'm in fucking lockdown, but, you know. That's so funny, K-Hub. Why couldn't it just be Kmart Country?

Well, it's kind of like, you know, how you've got the Coles Express servos. Why don't they just call it Kmart Express? Yeah. Oh, Kmart Express would be perfect. I've never even seen a K-Hub. Let me Google this shit. Careful.

Hope you're not on the family Wi-Fi. They might have alerts set up. Be careful. Your poor mum will call your dad. They're cute. Ian, what have you been Googling while I'm at the store? No, they're quite cute, actually, these K-Hubs. I've just searched K-Hub.

Be careful, Brayden will come back in. Oh, yeah, I'm going to get off the work Wi-Fi. So it's got the big K like Kmart and then just the word hub instead of mart. Nice and rainbow. Yeah, it's like a gay Kmart. Oh, August 2020, so it's new. Kmart unveils new K-Hub format in former Target stores. Also, they have bought all country Targets, Mitch.

It's so funny. I'm reading the list of towns that K-Hub is open in, and it sounds like you've made half of them up. Oh, my God. I've got it too. Go ramble some off. Gunnedah. Picton.

Tumut. Ulladulla. Actually, these are all real places I know It does go again Beulah Bowen Charter Towers That sounds about it

Chinchilla That's surely fake Ingham Mariba Oh I've got the list too Flatterton Tops Goondawindi Carrie Sessleton

Wow What? Really? Yeah Kyabrum Goonda Windy. Carrie Sessleton. Wow. What? Really? Yeah. Kyabrum. I've got Yagurosa Heights. No way. Yara Wonga. By the way, I'm reading real ones.

You're making shit up. Yeah, minor faker. She believed it. My weird talent that I've kept with me from primary school, speaking of country towns, you know that song that's like, I've been everywhere, man. I've been everywhere. I still know the words to that because we had to do it at school.

You know all the words. Sing it. Yep. And you know how they rattle off the country towns really quick? Yeah. Yeah. Rattle off the towns. Hold on, I'm going to have to remember.

I was a desert bear, man. I'd breathe the mountain the towns. Hold on, I'm going to have to remember. I'm going to have to remember. I've been everywhere. If I was in studio, I would have gotten you to play the music, so that would be more impressive, but, you know. I did search it, sorry, but we don't have it. It would have been out of sync anyway because of the delay between us. Yeah. You know what?

We've done fucking well, everyone, for this show. Oh, dear. I just realised that, oh, no. I just Googled the song I've Been Everywhere to see if I could find the lyrics and it's performed by Rolf Harris. Oh no. I took all of that back.

Yep. That can go. Goodness me. Maybe I could re-record it so that it's not tainted by his memory. Yeah, maybe. Because I doubt he wrote it. Do you guys want to play the quiz that I do every morning on my new radio show? Yeah.

Question first quiz of the day. I have questions for you. First quiz of the day, because it's five in the morning. Five questions at 5am. First quiz. Yes. No one else has asked these questions. Is it making sense why it's called first quiz?

Yeah. Mitchell? Yes, get on with it. Sorry, question one. Actually, if you win, you get to pick something from Kyle and Jackie O's prize vault, which I'm opening now. I've got the key. Let's check.

Oh. Oh, my God. That's where Brooklyn sleeps. That killed on day one. That was a brilliant joke that I've used every morning. Question one. How old did Troy Savivan turn this week? 26 or 36?

26. 26, obviously. Correct. 26. Cloudy day is the fresh track from which Aussie local? Oh, oh, oh. Tones and I. Correct, Mitchell.

Which Aussie reality show has sent its contestants to Uluru this week? Oh, MasterChef. Correct. I don't know how Melissa Leong put up with the dry heat. Question four. What profession is our upcoming bachelor? Jimmy Nicholson. Oh, I know.

Pilot. He's good. Pilot. The promos actually, the promos look good. Have we all seen that? The promos are horrific. What do you mean? I was there when they were shooting it.

I like it. What, the ones of him in a plane? In the sky. No, I was just there at the airport. I went and did like a behind-the-scenes shoot when I was working at Kistel. Oh, I get it. I get it. I get it.

Okay, that makes sense. They did a really good job at making that promo look more glamorous than it actually was, let me tell you. Yeah, it does look glam. Yeah. That's so funny. That's like me watching the MH370 documentary going, I was there. Well, I don't think. Well, I don't know.

But I get it. You were at the airport. All right. For the win, Rebel Wilson stars in the latest commercial for which payment service? Oh, is it Afterpay? Well done, Mitchell. In Bogengate, you have won. Congratulations.

We will send you something from... Do I win $10,000? No, no, that's not the Kyle and Jackie-O pop quiz. But doesn't he get to go in the vault? Yeah, he gets to go in the vault, but the vault is a random question. He doesn't actually get to pick what's in the vault. Oh, well, that's shit. I want to know what's in there and what I'm winning. Oh, I'll let you know.

Sadly, tones and eyes on the air this morning at Kiss. Five seconds. Rule is over. That's a great game. That's a good game. It's fun. Well Well it's a good game If I'm the one winning So yeah I agree

True Oh that's the metric isn't it Okay fair fair fair Now I know for next time Alright let's go Let's get out of here Yeah let's get out of here I might see you next week

Or I might be in Bogengate Who knows Who knows We'll be here regardless See you guys Have a great week Thanks for listening Don't forget

We hope this podcast Made you feel at least 2% better today That's all That's all Alright See, that's the goal. Alright. See you guys next week. Bye.

See you soon. Bye bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.