Is It Just Me? - #79: Calling John Laws

Episode Date: August 16, 2021

In this episode:Churi’s embarrassing moment while getting his 2nd vaccine (2:07)Toy nostalgia (6:58)Regional NSW in lockdown (13:00)This weeks reviews (16:57)Talkback Tingz - Dot calls John Laws (19:07)Is It Just Me-eavesdrops (29:49)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (49:46)Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Television legend Kerri-Ann Kennelly fell several metres from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pippet. Ah well. Some things make more sense than others. Ring Pike's Nurseries. What nursery? Pike's. P-Y-K-E-S. P-Y-A.

K as in kill. P-Y-A. K as in kill. P-Y-E. K! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches.

What about me? Don't forget Chin-O. Who? Now, here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coon. I'm 79, feeling fine. Hello, Mitchell. Oh, we're getting close to 80, aren't we? Aren't we ever?

I know, like two old dots at the nursing home. We're getting close to 80 as we celebrate. I'm excited for this week's show, though, because I can't wait to find out what big guests you've got lined up for us. Huh? No. Remember, this was your challenge.

I said if you book one more guest for the podcast, you'll be out of probation. No, you gave me two weeks to submit the second guest, and now I've got a segment planned. You know, the big segment I've been planning for weeks, is it just memes drops? Oh, good-o. Yes, finally, the long-awaited segment of yours. So next week for our 80th, you'll have a big guest. Perfect. She's talking to me like I'm a teacher. Yeah, it's due next week.

Next week at midnight, I'll have to log onto the portal and send my guest in. I'll have a guest next week. You know what word sends shivers down my spine? What? Moodle. Remember having to use that at school? Noodle? No, noodle with an M. Oh, my God.

I only just deleted my Moodle from my bookmarks on my MacBook a month ago. I still had WHS Moodle. Moodle is the worst. There's all sorts of ones that people use. Like, what were the other ones? Blackboard. I didn't have Blackboard. I don't know.

There's a bunch. But anyway, they're awful. We're past that phase of life. Thank God. Yeah, we're out of it. Pricekeeper Jen is here. Hello, Pricekeeper Jenna. Hi, hello.

How are you? I'm very well. Did you hear the news? What? I'm double vaxxed! Congratulations. And no side effects, I'm told. That's just a joke. I'm fine, everyone. I got vaxxed yesterday, my second Pfizer, and I went to the hub in

Sydney Olympic Park, which for those that went to the hub in Sydney Olympic Park, which for those that aren't in Australia, Sydney Olympic Park is so weird. They just purpose-built a suburb for the Olympics in 2000 and now it just is this Olympic city. It's a very weird place. Yeah, it's either completely packed with people for, like, concerts, NRL, you know, the footy or the Easter show.

There you go. Or it's a ghost town. Yeah, and it's very Olympic themed. Like, I'm like, hey, don't we got to park on Cathy Freeman Way? And then get the parking ticket on Ian Thorpe Drive. Ian Thorpe Drive shaped like a giant dick. Hmm, coincidence. Anyway, so it's in the Olympic Park at the Hub,

which the New South Wales government have set up. So I, like, waddle up to the chair and I'm very excited. I'm like, get my second Pfizer, get it in me. I'm so pumped to be vaxxed. And I sit down, and the lady is so sweet. And she does all the checking, checks my Medicare, checks my ID. And she went, oh, yeah, we're going to need the 12-gauge for you. And I went, pardon me?

And she went, oh, we're going to need the bigger needle for you. You have a very thick epidermis. I said, oh, it's my fly arm. What's an epidermis? I love it. I went, well, zip. Pop that in your Tinder profile. Yeah, I know.

She went, oh, it's your arm. You've got a thick epidermis. I love that. Whoa, zip. Pop that in your Tinder profile. Yeah, I know. She went, oh, it's your arm. You've got a thick epidermis, a thick layer of skin. So then ding dong, boom, boom, boom. Like a fucking click and collect Coles cart. We're going to need a 12 gauge for pod 12. What do you need, Nancy? Oh, we just need a 12 gauge for Mr. Churi. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you will. Here it is. I beg your pardon. is everyone analyzing my arm and then anyway i'm not even exaggerating and i don't want to turn people off getting a needle but if this is the normal one i'm holding it up it's like maybe a centimeter the the 12 gauge was like a pencil oh god it looked like a kebab skewer a kebab skewer or the little that you had like lead pencil refills. It looked like that. It was that fucking long.

And she goes, you won't feel a thing, sweetheart. It's a thick epidermis. Like you've said that. You've already said that. It's thick. It's thick. So anyways, I'm sitting there already embarrassed. I need a thick epidermis.

And then she goes, oh, honey, roll your sleeve up. So I roll the sleeve up. Anyway, I'm wearing a rolled up, rolled up like button down linen. And it couldn't wouldn't go past like just above my elbow and she oh my god you're gonna have to take your shirt off mr cheery and i went you don't clearly listen to a couple of mitches is it just me uh not taking my top off you're telling me that i have thick skin however metaphorically very thin skin i can't handle the humiliation of being topless and i'm reading between the lines you just called me fucking fat and now you want me to take my shirt

off does not compute so i go oh no it'll work it'll be fine it's it's i can just roll it up she went sir that's not how it works you have to take your top off and i'm like right would you want a privacy screen i can order one like went back over to the button i'm like don't press the button again i don't know i don't need the buzzer i don't need kathy to come back so i could just fucking do it so what I do is I'll do it for you now I have to unbutton

like this right three buttons oh yeah like a breastfeeding mother I was with I was with child like I was breastfeeding

in the park or pumping I had to do this ready and go all the way out and my tit was out like this and then she

no word of a lie she went lucky you wore deodorant. Do you know what? I would have never thought of that. When I get my vax, I'm going to have to wear a tank top or something. And that is exactly my PSA. I want to bring attention to the fact that if you're getting your vaccine,

wear a T-shirt, don't wear a skivvy because you'll have to completely strip. It's something that I didn't even think about. I didn't think of that. No. Imagine if Jenna gets some creepy guy giving her jab. He's like, you're going to have to take your bra off, man. We'll have to do an areola injection for this one. Bing, bing, bing.

Oh, not again. Yeah, we've got another anal injection. I think that's appropriate. Anyway, I'm vaxxed up. I'm feeling good. Hayden is great as well. He's fine. Oh, that's fantastic. He's got the antibodies. Anyway, we've got Is It Just Me drops coming up, your grand awaited segment.

We've also got a Talk Back Tings, which is a fan favourite segment of ours. I can't wait for that. And it's John Laws again. That's exciting. The best of the best. Also, I do have to say, Is It Just Me drops, guys, has been in the works mentally for me anyway, at least for months. Can you explain the concept?

Okay. So the show Is It Just Me is the podcast hosted by a couple of Minches. If it's your first time listening, we start the show the same way every week with two itchings. I just saw the opportunity. Thought I might as well go into my tagline. And an eavesdrop is when you listen to someone else's conversation. So rather than bringing our own, we're just listening in on others, right?

That's right. This is Is It Just Me's from around the world, globally. We even have Is It Just Me's drops from some of our valued listeners, which is very exciting. And I haven't heard any of these, so I'm looking forward to it. No, exactly right. So we'll do that later on. All right, let's begin.

I might go first. What are you thinking, Mish? No, you go for it, honey. Don't let me stop you. All right, here we go. Is it just me or? Where did all the toy stores go? There's none.

What did they used to be? Because I grew up in the country and there weren't toy stores. Oh, my God. But I remember seeing ads for them on TV. Yes. And they were ads for, you know, towns a long way away. So I never really went to toy stores. What did they have?

We were spoiled for choice. Toys R Us was the big one. Oh, yeah. And every Westfield had a Toys R Us. And Toys R Us wasn't just toys and every Westfield had a Toys R Us and Toys R Us wasn't just toys it was like Playstations, it was like the JB Hi-Fi dare I say, before JB Hi-Fi then there was Toy World that had the teddy bear

logo, the big, or the giraffe it was like an animal and then there's Toy Barn, Toy Barn was huge there were all these toy stores and places to get toys, I feel like toys were advertised more when we were growing up right Mitch, do you feel the same? 100%.

Maybe we're just not paying attention to those ads because they don't really affect us. I mean, JB Hi-Fi, those ads, that is our toy store in this phase of life. So maybe we're just paying more attention to it. Your toy store is lovehoney.com. I know that I think there is still Toy Mate, but all those others that you just listed, not aware. No, so here it is.

Toys R Us, Mitchell, are nationwide and globally have shut all stores. Wow. They're all gone. They're out of Australia. No Toys R Us exists. And then, of course, you can't forget Toymate. Toymate is huge. They've got a giant super store.

Yeah, I know for a fact they're still around. I see them. Out west, right? But what about the kids that live in the city? I mean, they don't want to go to Georgeorge street i just don't think toy stores are given enough mummy's diamonds to play with they've got house of condor and double bay what were your favorite toys growing up i mentioned last week that i was big on the my little ponies oh yeah i never had bratz dolls but i always used to play with them at the neighbor's place because i loved them that was like my you know my little gay secret i loved playing with

bratz dolls yeah and i also had the smelly bellies do you remember them oh i had smelly i had so many i can remember all of their names i had okay i can remember really randomly i had wubba wrestlers what and i actually googled couple of years ago because I wanted to buy them for the nostalgia. Wubba wrestlers, like W-W-U, like Wubba. Yeah. And they were wrestlers that were made of, like, silicon and they'd wrestle together and they would, like, get stuck together. It was kind of erotic.

And then my sister, back to my silicon obsession, used to have Polly Pockets. Oh, yeah, I had Polly Pockets. And they were plastic girls, but all their outfits were made of silicon. Yes. It was really off. Okay, so I've just Googled Wubble Wrestlers. They were also made by Moose, the same people who made Smelly Belly.

Moose! I love Moose! They look so unentertaining to me. What did you see in the Wubble Wrestlers? Oh, my God, I've just found the one that I used to play with. AU, $36. I'm buying it now. I'm not joking. You just play with it. And look at this. Look at the one that I used to play with. AU, $36. I'm buying it now. I'm not joking.

You just play with it. And look at this. Look at the tits on that one, Jenna. Oh, my God. I know. Mitchell, you can't see, but she's got a rack on her made of pure silicone. Yeah, I can see. I'm looking at you.

Does she have a middle finger up? Yeah, she does. What about Tamagotchis? Did you guys have those? I had them, but mine just died in the room filled with shit. So I just gave up. You know me. I just had the attention span to play with the Tamagotchi.

I was furious. My Tamagotchi died even though I took very good care of it. Like I kept this thing alive for 12 generations and I kept such a close eye on it. And then one day I was just like, no, I'm dead now. I was like, that's bullshit. Almost bigger than the Tamagotchi was the lanyard that you wore it on. Do you remember that? Yeah, and the little charms that you could attach.

Were you guys Nintendo DS kids? Yeah, it's just in my cabinet next to me. Yeah, on his person. Oh, my God. Do you want to see? We didn't plan this at all. Show me. I was a DS guy.

I actually, I've never actually said this on the podcast. Maybe I have in the early days. But I collect, like, vintage Nintendo consoles. That's cool. It's a bit. I like that. Mitch has got his Nintendo consoles. That's cool. It's a bit. I like that. Mitch has got his Nintendo DS. Oh, is that your stylus or are you happy to see me?

I beg your pardon. It's not just the Nintendo DS. Oh, my God. It's the Nintendo DSi XL. Oh. Remember the ads for these things always had like business people sitting there playing brain games like adults use DSi XL. Yeah, and they always put them on a train.

Yes, always. Why? Why is that meant to appeal to us? Turning it on. Oh, I remember that. Hey, Jenna, are you on PictoChat? I am that old that I had a DS before the epilepsy warning came up, before you started it up.

That's how old I am. I was in the era of kids frothing at the mouth with their Nintendogs at Christmas Day. Nintendogs. Let's go back. What about Poochie? Did you guys have Poochie, the robotic dog? Is that, and it had different colours?

It had green ears. Yes, mine had blue ears. Mine had green ears. Yes. I still have mine at home. I have mine. Yeah. Did you ever have a fucking Furby?

Those things were crappy, but I loved them. My parents wouldn't let me have Furbys. My sister had a Furby but she gave it milk and it blew up. And then one Christmas my parents bought, my parents are classic tight arses, bought my sister a PSP, like a PlayStation portable, and off Gumtree and it was broken. They were just tricked and they had no idea.

So on Christmas Day she was sobbing into lara croft tomb raider that's devastating my sister had a furby and it was in her backpack when she went to school and the classroom was dead silent everyone was you know paying attention working and then the furby just goes boring yeah they used to do that. Boring. Mrs Smith had an abortion. Like what? How do they know? How do they know? Do you remember Sylvanian families, those little mice?

I watch the TikToks about the Sylvanian families and they're all murderers. Yeah, I know. That's what. I mean, Jenna was alive when people first invented hopscotch, so she's been around to see Toys R Us. I've seen it all. It's really underrated. Jenna didn't have marbles, so she used the eyes of her enemies

and the joints of her haters. I did. So much fun. I wish I could go back to those days. Anyway, kids, if you're listening, you don't have it. We sound like fucking boomers. Well, I do anyway. All right.

Are you ready for your Agent Mitchell? Yep. Hit me with it. Is it just me or? me with it is it just me is it really weird to you that covid19 is now affecting regional areas yes yeah absolutely yeah that's how you know it's it's serious yeah they just announced last week that regional new south wales is going into lockdown too it's not just sydney anymore but before that i feel like regional areas were such a blind spot like they used to laugh at us mum and dad would sit at home in the country watching the news and being like fucking idiots going and selling out toilet paper what's wrong with them yeah and this Christmas just gone

obviously I was driving back to Bogengate for Christmas and I had symptoms like I had a sore throat blocked nose and I said to mum, option one is I get COVID tested here and then just wait a couple of days to come home or I come home and get COVID tested in Forbes. And she was like, we don't have COVID testing facilities in the country. We don't need them. Oh, they didn't even have it.

Because no one's ever had a case out here. Oh, my God. And fast forward to now, all of New South Wales is in lockdown. First it was just Jenna's hometown Dubbo. Now it's everyone. Oh, the Dubbo dust industry will be in the bin. No, I can't even talk about the dust. Let alone the COVID.

No, but as soon as it was announced, it was announced at like 11 and then it started at like 1. The mayor just stood up in the middle of town with a megaphone in his hand. Yes, and he had the dust in his hand. That's how it was announced because there's no internet, of course. Yes. So he stood at the only traffic lights in town saying, go home. Yep, Macquarie Street.

Okay, anyway. How were they coping, Jenna, your family? Because I feel like that would be quite a rude shock to them. Yes. Well, thankfully, most of them are fully vaccinated. Oh, good. But it's particularly hard because my great uncle has terminal cancer. Oh, dear.

And so that's difficult, transporting him to the hospital and all that when he needs treatment and things. And his immune system is already quite, I imagine, vulnerable. Yes, exactly. And also the fact that he can't have, like, my cousins and things, all of them over. Yeah, he can't have, like, my cousins and things, all of them over. Yeah, he can't have more than one visitor, right? Yeah, and they're not going over, you know, to hang out.

They're going over to help, you know, clean things up because he doesn't want to go into palliative care. So that's what's very difficult. Does that fall under compassionate reasons? Surely. I'm pretty sure it would. If you're going to have someone over to dick him down, then your uncle can have someone over to talk to him. Yeah,'re going to have someone over to dick him down and your uncle can have someone over to

talk to him. Yeah, but if I have someone over, an intimate partner, it has to be just the one person. So if it's a dud route, that's it. Oh, please. I thought you were insinuating that you were going to have more. I'm like, babe, good luck getting one, let alone three. I barely like twosomes, let alone threesomes.

But the weird thing is that I heard the other day, I don't know if it was a rumour or if I just heard it through the grapevine, but I heard that Parks, which is the nearest town to Bogangay, where I grew up. The dish. They had become a hotspot because some delivery driver delivering grain or feed for livestock or something was positive

and had gone all around the town. And so I Googled Parks hotspot to try and get some information about what was going on back home. Oh, dear. And the first link I clicked on, the headline that said Parks Hotspots, I was like, yep, this is what I want to know. But no, I clicked on Parks Birdwatching Hotspots. It's a list of all the best places to go birdwatching in the region.

In fourth place, Bougain Gate. So, you know, we're going strong, guys. Oh, yay. That's great. What the fuck? Birdwatching sounds so boring, doesn't it? Yeah. And also you looking at that map being like,

God, there's a lot of cases in the bush and in trees. Yeah. What's going on in Forbes? Birdwatching sounds awful. And you only like, you listen out for the noises too. Like a lot of it, you never actually see a lot of the birds. I don't need to go bird watching. I accidentally hit enough of them with my car when I'm out in the bush

driving 100 k's an hour. And I don't need to either. I'm looking at Jenna right now. Is it just me? Make sure you leave a review on your podcast app. If you don't, you're a little bitch. All right, mug time. If you leave us a five-star review on Apple Podcast app. If you don't, you're a little bitch. All right, mug time. If you leave us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts

or on Facebook reviews, go to our page, couple of mitches, hit reviews, leave it, and it gets right out on the show. You've got a week to contact Pricekeeper, Jenna, and you'll be sent a season three commemorative mug just like Heidi Jane Sweeney has done. On Facebook, she says, well, I like them and I'm pretty hard to please.

I like that. Is that it? Short and sweet. I like her. We conquered the inevitable. She's very hard to please but we pleased her. That's right. And this one is from Andrew Dadson.

He says, appreciate the laughs. So Andrew says, thank you Mitch Mitchell and Pricekeeper Jenna, getting everyone's names exactly right, which I love. I started listening to the podcast late last year when my partner was participating in MasterChef. Eh? This podcast. That's a subtle flex. Yeah, this podcast helped me develop a routine when I really needed it.

Thank you, everyone. So, Andrew, you've got yourself a commemorative mug, but who is his partner? Oh, my God. Yeah, does he have a last name with the review? I know it's Andrew. Yeah, Dadson. Dadson. So you watched MasterChef, didn't you I know it's Andrew. Yeah, Dadson. Dadson. You watched MasterChef, didn't you? No, I interviewed them all, but I didn't get any of their last names.

I just do first names. Oh yeah, they don't really do a last name on the show, do they? I'm googling Dadson MasterChef. But Andrew Dadson partner, which makes me think gay. I'm just thinking if I google Dadson Yeah, Dadson Masterchef.

Dadson Masterchef. Read about Mark Dadson. That's Dodson. A lawyer, a medical student. Well, Andrew, if you're listening, we're very curious. Please tell all. Yes, please tell us more about this. It's also not that often that we get reviews from males,

have you noticed? It's usually chicks. Men hold back their feelings. If you're a man that listens, let it out, darling. Leave us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. Yeah, I agree. It keeps us going and you can win yourself a mug, which aren't around for that much longer.

Look, season three is nearing its end, guys. Don't forget, no dates in mind yet. And if you don't win a mug, it's fine. You can just buy one on our Instagram, at couple of mitches. That's exactly right. Okay, should we jump into a fan favourite? 100%. Let's go.

I put the radio on. So Talkback Tings is where we play the weird shit that we hear on Talkback Radio. It's a fan favourite segment and we've spoken a lot about John Laws, right? Yeah, and if you haven't heard those before, he's an Australian radio

icon. The original gold microphone, the original king of broadcasts, very old. He's very, very, very well known in the country. Yeah. Didn't he literally have his birthday last week? I don't know how old he is, but yeah, he's getting up there, put it that way. Yeah, he did. And so we've spoken a lot about him, but we've never spoken to him.

No. And so the other day we were all in the office at the same time in the morning, which is rare because obviously you work nights, Mitch. And I was like, well, John Laws is on in the morning. We're all here. Let's take this opportunity to try and get through to his show. And it all came about after I heard this mispronunciation. Blind.

Oh, there were so many unknowns. Micro YV. No. I reckon you're going to like this mispronunciation, I've got to tell you. Always do. Well, this one is particularly good because it's almost like a hybrid of two of our favourite segments, right? Yeah.

So this mispronunciation happened on the John Laws show. Oh, that is, it's like Talk Back Tings mispronunciation. Precisely. I was listening out, trying to find something for Talk Back Tings, and I'm like, oh, it's a mispronunciation. Perfect. From John? No, from one of his callers.

Oh, because I was going to say he's very well spoken. He's very intelligent. Oh, he would never mispronounce anything, but he did get pretty frustrated at the caller every time they got the word wrong. As he's in our intro, he was, what did he say? Cove or kill. Yes. Well, his patience has only gotten more thin.

So the other day when this caller kept saying a certain word wrong, his patience has only gotten more thin. Uh-oh. So the other day when this caller kept saying a certain word wrong, you'll definitely know what it is. Yeah. He wasn't having a bar of it. Take a listen. Okay, 1-300-564-652, our telephone number. Give us a call.

Tell us what's on your mind. I don't vet the calls. Unlike other broadcasting stations, they give you the third degree before they'll put you through to talk on the air. Well, I don't vet the calls. Unlike other broadcasting stations, they give you the third degree before they'll put you through to talk on the air. Well, I don't do that. You can talk about whatever you like. Who have we got? Helen, are you there?

Yes, good morning. Good morning, Helen. What can I do for you? Well, John, look, irrespective of the COVID thing, people are going to die I'm a little curious about why so much seems to be just labelled as COVID it's COVID, it's COVID, oh it's COVID

there are a range of underlying conditions ok but this one is very, very, very infectious. But people are dying of varying things and it probably doesn't all lead to COVID. It shouldn't all be labelled COVID. COVID, COVID. But I do not subscribe to, I guess, to the COVID. COVID. COVID. But I do not subscribe to, I guess, to the COVID. Yes, sweetheart, you must say COVID.

COVID. COVID. Whatever. No, COVID. Not whatever. COVID. COVID. Yeah, that's it.

That's correct. Whatever you wish to call it. John, we have an immune system. It works remarkably well. But it obviously doesn't work totally well, otherwise we wouldn't have an outbreak of COVID, would we? An alleged outbreak, John, alleged. You have to insert that word. I see. Well, you try and tell the four million people who are

dead that they're only allegedly dead. No, you're not dead. It's an allegation. A little dose of reality is not going to hurt anyone. No, well, that's including you, my dear. Yeah, I consider myself to be a realist. I just simply don't subscribe to, you know, every death is COVID. I just don't subscribe to that. Yeah.

All right, Helen, you're stupid. You're making ridiculous comments. Oh, dear, dear, dear, go away, please. Stupid woman. I just don't believe that somebody can think along those lines and even have the temerity to want to express it on national radio. Yikes. Whoa. Whoa.

That escalated. Yeah, he gets to a certain boiling point and he's like, nah, stupid woman. Now, does he just have a sting to play like a one-second jingle? Stupid woman. The start of a song. Also, I thought she said covered to start. No, she was saying covered. Covered.

I've got it there for you. Covered. Covered. Covered. It's a shame with all this COVID happening in Sydney, a lot of my work opportunities have been postponed. COVID. Yeah, well, it's very cold at the moment.

It's winter. And normally I have like a cereal, but I thought I wanted something warm, you know? So I have a Farage. No, you fucked it. You fucked it. Although, if you want to reverse it, you can say porridge. Porridge!

Oh, porridge. Oh, so you can reverse. Well, I was thinking about it and phonetically, she's actually reading it correctly because you don't say, oh, I'm really hungry. Let's go through the drive-thru. I'm really craving some McDonald's. No, you don't.

Technically, covered is how it's spelt. Yeah, true true you don't say madonna what's that madonna this is this is hard i can't think of anything well you're just turning the o in covid into an oh look out below. True. Yeah. Did you see in Beirut there was a dreadful explosion? My brain is cooked. What's wrong with you today? I can't think.

Oh, it's because he had the jab and he's got a blood clot. Have you got any celeb interviews coming up on your radio show? Russell Croft? No, I don't. No? Okay. Look, I'm not in the mood, but as you shared and always says, the show must go on.

The podcast must go on. The podcast. When you got school captain, did you speak in a lectern or a podium? There we go. He's getting it it Now you're in the groove of things And your niece Is she a toddler? I can't remember Is she a toddler?

No, she's a grown up now Time flies What colour is our logo? Yellow It's when it changes that it confuses me Because I think of one it's because it's ambidextrous anyway this is going nowhere yeah sorry i'm zapped i'm zapped in the head i noticed but look anyway the reason i've dragged you into the studio at this time um because we usually

record in the afternoons and it's morning time and i thought well what a rare opportunity we're in studio at the same time that John Laws is live on air. He's nine to midday. Yes. And we've never tried to call the big man, John Laws. So I thought, well, it's now or never, Dallin. You want me to call John? Absolutely.

Actually, I think it's the right time he meets your alter ego, Dot Wiggins. Oh, you think Dot should call John? The 80-year-old woman. yep, she should give John a call. She would definitely be a listener. Oh, she'd be like, yes, knowledge fan of John. But you've also got to, like that woman, like Helen, get a mispronunciation in there, see if he pulls you out on it, I reckon. What should I say?

What's topical? And it's asking about the vaccine. The vaccine? Instead of Pfizer, Pfizer. Yeah, yeah. Pfizer. Dot John, I'm very worried about getting the Pfizer vaccine. Yes. I'm booked in Instead of Pfizer. Pfizer. Yeah, yeah. Pfizer. John, I'm very worried about getting the Pfizer vaccine. Yes.

I'm booked in for the Pfizer. Hello, John. Should I get... What did you get? The Pfizer or the AstraZeneca? You daft woman. Pfizer. Pfizer.

Oh, I can't believe it. We've never spoken to him. Okay. Do you have his number? Give me his number and I'll put it in. The number is very easy. Remember, 1300-564-652. It spells John Laws, I'm pretty sure.

Also, we don't vet anyone. He's not a gloat. Yeah, he was asking for trouble. He was. All right, I'm going to dial. It's not a glot. Glot. Yes.

Fizzer. Oh, my God. Dialing. That's dot. Oh, my God. Dialing. That's Dot. Oh, dear. John Law's Morning Show. Can I get your name? Good morning.

Dot? Can you spell that out for me? D-O-T. Dot, and how old are you, Dot? I'm 83. Well, 84 very soon, but I will cling on to 83 while I can. Yep, and where are you calling from? I'm calling from Coonle Barrel Brain.

Yep, and what are we talking about today? Well, I'd like to talk to John about the Pfizer vaccine. I've had the vaccine, and I'd like to know what he got. It eased my mind mind knowing what Jonathan has. Yep, and Dot, can I get your phone number? Wait a second. Hey, Dot, is this Mitch? Pardon me?

Is this Mitch? Oh, God. What do you mean by Mitch? Mitch. I think they're on to us, darling. Oh, no, I don't know. They're on to you, Dot. Put me through to John, please.

I can't put you through to John. He doesn't like you. He does like me. I went to school with John. Sorry about that, Doc. Good try, though. Oh, I'm so gullible. Didn't you get Ben last time?

That's the same guy we spoke to when we called reception. Did he get promoted? Ben? Yeah. Ben answered all the phones here. Oh, wow. There you go. Listen here.

You almost put on a competitor. Oh, poor Benny. He's sitting here getting really upset. He was so embarrassed last time. Put him on. Put him on. Put him on. Here you go.

Hey, Mitch. Oh, Ben, I recognise your voice straight away. I was like, we've called this kid before. Awesome. Yeah, no, no. I recognise it too, but I forgot where. Also, Ben. Keep up the good work, mate.

Any more problems with the podcast? No problems with the podcast, no. You're doing a great job. Put your producer back on. Put your other one on. Okay, then. There mustn't be much show to produce. Hey, darling, if we can't get through as Dot,

can you tee up an interview with John Laws on our podcast? We'd love to have him. I can give it a red hot shot if you like. Thanks, darling. You're all right, darling. No worries. See you guys.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. We were caught out. We're on their radar. I can't tell you. My heart dropped. Is that me? Because he was in the background.

And then do you love how I interrupted and said, oh, they're on to us and you didn't break character. You're like, no, I're on to us and you didn't break character. You're like, no, I'm going to keep going. That is so good. Oh, my God. Nice try. You're listening to Is It Just Me? The rude shocks of young adults.

Okay, time for Is It Just Me drops. Are we ready? Are we limber? Feeling good? Let's do it. The Is It Just Me's from around the globe that we have eavesdropped on, huh? That's right. So consider yourself in a classroom in in the world, walking throughout the public.

You hear someone talking, you go, oh, I'd love to get involved in that. Yeah. Do you know what? It's actually really weird because you know when you hear someone else say your name, your ears prick a bit. Every time I hear someone use the phrase, is it just me? I like perk up at attention. I'm like, are they talking about my podcast?

Exactly. So I do hear this a lot. And you've pulled them all. Yes. And this is where, well, I've said that before. You said that to me after Mardi Gras. I, which is not true. I have a loving partner.

I don't know why. Where did that come from? I've never done that in my life. Also, what? All, just two. I have two hands. That's all I can do. It says four penises with the chafing. Anyway, but I do have this audio from TikTok. Have a listen. Is it just me or does anyone else agree that each family has their own scent?

Oh. Oh. Like their own smell. Some families fucking stink. I completely agree. And I have this, like, constant fear that the cooms is reek and no one has told us because I would never say to someone hey you your sister your mom you're all fucking pong i would never say that yeah and so i would expect that if i did reek no one would have the heart to tell me do i stink no no mitchell your house does not stink at all when you often have candles going you know the first time i noticed

this was a really sad moment my childhood home smell is after moving out. Yep, same. And then coming back and you go, oh, yeah, this place fucking reeks. Yep, that was how I was. Are you talking about the houses or the people? Because when they say do some families have a smell, I'm talking about even if I run into them down the street, I can fucking smell them.

Like I'm talking about just the people. They have their own musk. Sometimes it's lovely. Sometimes it's f down the street, I can fucking smell them. I'm talking about just the people. They have their own musk. Sometimes it's lovely. Sometimes it's feral. Yeah, I agree. People have very unique smells, but I'm talking houses. I'm talking like places. Well, I'm also worried that my place has a cat smell because you don't realise when you live with the cat.

But I'm glad you told me that it doesn't stink. No, it smells good. And you know what else that happens when you go on a holiday for like a month and then you come back and you walk into your place and you go, oh, my God, is that how my house smells? Turn on the candle. Yes. I know. Yes.

I go home to Bogengate expecting to have that comforting, nostalgic smell of home, but it's the mouse plague at the moment, so instead I can smell dead rodents. Oh, fantastic. All right. This Is It Just Me comes from someone I follow. He's just some gay influence. I don't even know how I found him.

But this was on his Instagram story last night and I had to rewatch it to screen record. Did you get his permission to play this audio? No, he put it on Insta Stories. The bastard. He's verified. He's fine. He's in the public. Fair game.

I think he's got OnlyFans too, so we've seen worse than his opinions. Okay, is it just me or do y'all walk like walk everywhere even if like it's 50 minutes because i live in new york and i walk everywhere like i walked to dinner tonight not 50 minutes just because i was like why take the train if i could walk just you babe absolutely yes i mean if it's the option of walking or train i get the appeal sometimes it's nice to take a walk and have a bit of me time but i've got a car, bub. I'm not going to fuck around on foot. No.

Exactly. No, no, no, no, no. I walk. Yeah. I saw Jenna walking the other day. Yes. I was driving to work and Jenna, as we know, lives in the Meriden Service Suites really close to the radio station.

Oh, for goodness sake. And I was driving in and I drove past her and I'm like, is that a white witch or is that Jenna? And it was Jenna. And I messaged her and I said, do you want to lift? She went, no. It's sweltering outside. She was happy to just skip out.

I liked walking. She had an option. Weirdo. And she chose to walk. So just you. Anyway, back to TikTok. This is from friend of the show, Jen. Is it just me or do you reckon you feel more confident when you wear a G-string?

No. No. I feel uncomfortable. I've never worn a G-string. No. No. I feel uncomfortable. I've never worn a G-string. They don't sound appealing at all. No, so that's just you, Jen. Yeah. Have you seen that scene on Kath and Kim where she says she's having

a lingerie party and she says, so this is the T-bar. It's actually just a G-string turned back to front. I love that scene. That sounds even more uncomfortable. I don't even have flaps, but that doesn't sound comfy. I couldn't wear a G-string. I would ingest it. It would go internal.

It would come out like a frayed rope. It would have to go to the vet like those Rottweilers that eat the rope and they have to pull it out. That's what would happen. Let's just take a moment to picture Jenna in a G-string. Okay, let's what happened. Anyway. Let's just take a moment to picture Jenna in a G-string. Okay, let's move on. Okay. This one is another one from TikTok.

Is it just me or, like, nerds just don't turn you on? But when she sends in, like, little booty pics and, like, the short shorts, oh, my God. Well, not she. No. I get the idea, though. Like, I don't want to see a dick pic, but I'm quite partial to a tease. Yeah, I agree.

Would you like to get a raw photo of a penis, Jenna? No. No, not at all. No, nothing. What about when someone mailed you an oil painting of a penis back in one of your former lives before dick pics were a thing? Oh, that's different, and that did happen quite a few times. And you got a couple Morse code dicks too, didn't you? So many.

Imagine sexting over Morse code. What would that be? Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. Buh. It was me. A rapid amount of beeps. That's how it sounded. The foreplay's fun.

And like, have you ever had phone sex? Have you guys had phone sex before? No. I have not. I've never even sent a nude. Yeah, no, nor have I. No, nor have I. The most nude I've ever been is in that fucking vac centre.

Well, just for the show, let's all post a nude right now. Let's do it. Let's post them to the group and people can guess whose they are. Yep, all right. To be fair, my tits could register as Jenna's. Yep, all right. To be fair, my tits could register as Jenna's. Oh, no, he's done it.

Wow. Oh, no. Oh, were you guys kidding? Oh, my God. Yeah. That's a whole tissue. Hey, this one isn't Is It Just Me from a listener. Cherie sent this in.

Hi, this is Cherie from Camp C. Is it just me? Did you say cancer-y? Camp City. Oh, I'm a bit cancer-y. That's what I heard. No, that's not how you introduce yourself. Sorry, sorry. Hi, this is Cherie from Camp City. Is it just me or

are horses like all the same? Like apparently there's like different breeds and stuff like Arabian and Thoroughbred but they're all just a horse. You know what I mean? No, they are all different. That's brilliant.

I agree with it. No. A horse is a fucking horse. I mean that's like one of those people that thinks they're really insightful when they say it doesn't matter if you're black, white, gay or straight, we're all people. Yeah, we're aware of that but everyone comes in different varieties and that's not a bad thing. My favourite horse is a Pinto.

Oh, that's also a Bean. Jenna, do you remember Patch on Saddle Club? That's why I love Pintos. Oh, Patch was my favourite. I loved Patch. I had a little Patch toy. Have I told the story about Tovin, the horse that I killed? Yep.

Inadvertently, he developed a spine tumour because of my weight, allegedly. Yes, you murdered a horse with your fat arse. No, I didn't. I was quite slim at the time, to be honest. What's a pinto? It's like, this sounds a bit off, but it's like those cow skin rugs you see on old Nana's horse.

Oh, it is. They're like, you know, blotches of white and brown. Oh, okay. Yeah. Interesting. All right, another TikTok. Is it just me or has 2021 been weird? So it goes on for a bit.

It's just you. I mean, yeah. No, it's been perfectly normal. It's been a bit weird, but. Actually, I hadn't realised until right now. But now that you mention it, yeah, it's been a bit odd. Also, that TikTok, when I found it, the audio just kept going. There was no more audio.

It was a black screen. Like they wanted us to talk out loud. It was shit. All right, let's go to this one from Twitter. So I don't know if it's just a me thing, but do you guys, like, randomly stick your hand in your shirt and grab your boobs for comfort? No.

No. This might be the male equivalent, but sometimes I don't mind just, you know, a little grope of the gonads for warmth. Yes. You know what I do, and Hay hayden doesn't and sometimes inadvertently or subconsciously i should say i'll be watching a show and my hand will be in my groin and he'll come out what are you doing what are you jerking off to the national geodinosaur dogger well i had no idea it's just for warmth yeah and jenna clearly just enjoys being a cold-blooded lizard

bitch because she doesn't grope her own tits. Yeah, that's me. She calls them her memories. All right, let's go to Ruby. Hi, guys. Is it just me or is the reaction to a message invention the fucking best thing to ever happen to us? It's great. It's a great way to fucking end the conversation but not be rude.

You know, my mum just sent me some bullshit message I didn't give a shit about. Chuck a heart react. Happy days. I've done my duty for the day. I agree. I think that's brilliant. I think they're a bit rude. I hate it when someone wraps up a conversation with me by just like doing a laugh emoji

or something and I'm like, oh, I had more to say, but sure, let's just end it here. You know, you can customise your reaction. I didn't know that until someone reacted with a tea like i was spilling the tea and i was like how the fuck did they do that facebook and instagram oh okay let me go to you mitchell um i can hold it down and then you can add an emoji yeah look i only found that out last week too yeah so it isn't just you ruby all right let's get i don't think that the

reactions is the best invention to happen to us. I think that voice messages are. I never type anymore. I'm always doing a voice message. Yeah, I agree with that. A lot of people don't know how to react to audio messages. If you're not comfortable with sending an audio message, and let's be real, all we do is speak, like the three of us. So it's very abnormal for a lot of people.

I sent one to my uncle and he freaked the fuck out. Yeah, if I'm back and forth with someone and I'm only sending voice messages and then they're replying with texts and I'm still doing voice messages, if they're not reciprocating, I feel like a predator. Yes. I feel like I'm forcing myself on them. Yeah, it really is. It's intense.

It's like we're yelling at them. All right, let's do another one. Is it just me? I just don't like it when you're overly nice to me. I would much prefer someone who, like, low-key makes fun of you, who's, like, rude, who tells you you're absolutely clapped, rather than someone who every two seconds is, oh, my gosh, you're the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen in my life. Shut up.

No. Yeah, can I just say there's someone in my life right now who I have like weekly meetings with and I just, I'm trying to crack them and get to that point where we can just diss each other because they start every conversation with happy Monday. And I'm like, nah, I don't talk to any of my friends like that. That just reeks of acquaintance. I agree. It's just filling the void, giving someone a fake version of yourself.

Yeah, I'd much rather a hello, bitch, rather than a happy Monday. But some people are always going to be happy Monday as Mitch. I don't think everyone's comfortable to show themselves to others. I think you're right. What a waste. Put them down. I agree. Yep. to show themselves to others. I think you're right. What a waste. Put them down. I agree. Yep.

Happily will for you. All right. This is the final one. Mitch, Mitch. Oh, my God. Have I shown you my gunshot? Okay. Okay.

So I'm working from home at the moment and I've got my own little podcast set up. I've got my own gunshot and it shits on yours. No. Oh, yours is like a machine gun where mine is like a vintage musket. Should I upgrade guns? No. Are you sure? It's an antique.

It's worth a lot. Sorry, that's Machine Gun Kelly. This is a good one. That's Machine Gun Kelly, the artist. My error. That was my mistake. All right, let's end Is It Just Meves Drops with a message from our listener, Jack. Is it just me or do those Coles bags seem way less eco-friendly than the old ones?

Love you from Jack. Ah, well, they're thicker. They are definitely thicker. But comparatively, the other ones, you would get like a hundred of them because they were smaller. I don't know. Is that the last one we got from a listener? Yeah. Can I just say, I've always wanted this podcast to be a safe space where our listeners can

come and share their deepest thoughts, things that make them feel alone, and then we can all bond and heal through sharing. And what do I fucking get from our listeners? Coals bags. Oh, fucking spare me. I want something deep. Like remember, Mitch, last week you were talking about anxiety.

Yes, yes. We had Jack week you were talking about anxiety. Yes, yes. We've had Jack Vigin talking about his struggles with drug addiction and sobriety. Yes, yes. And what do we have now? Some fucking twink talking about culls bag. Jack. I want something slightly meaningful.

Am I a bad person for wanting that? Is it just me? No. Or do I want a meaningful conversation? The three of us, Mitch, Mitch and Jenna, we bring enough trivial nonsense. I want something deep from the listeners. Fuck this. Remember the last time we did Is It Just You?

Someone came on and said, do you prefer little spoons over big spoons? And I was like, get the fuck off my show. Yeah, I remember I set him off. I noticed a trend here. Jack, I enjoyed it. I had something to say. Not much. No.

Albeit the conversation was done in about 15 seconds. Keep it to yourself next time, Jack. Oh, dear. Sorry, Jack. What about Ruby and Cherie? If anyone's listening right now and you're going through some shit and you're like, I want to talk about this, maybe it'll make others feel less alone,

or you've been through some shit in your past and people can learn lessons from you. Please slide into our DMs because I never want to hear something that fucking stupid again. Okay? You can use a fake name if it's really fucked. Like if you, I don't know, went to prison or whatever. I'll hijack. So, Mitchell, do you agree that the Coles bags are better now or not? Oh, no, they're shit.

All right. That ends us. What a show that was. Did we like Is It Just Me drops? I think it was successful. I do, actually. That was fun. I liked it.

Well done, Mitchell. Thank you. Well done. Successful segment of next week with Dido coming on. Oh. Dido. You know, I actually sent an email today about getting Dido coming on. Dido. You know, I actually sent an email today about getting Dido on the show. Oh, you're not going to hear back.

It's fucking Dido. As Delene Lewis concurred last week, it can't hurt to ask the question. Very true. So will I get Dido on the show? Probably not. But at least I can go to my grave knowing I tried. Unlike you. Okay, alright. Jack, you've pissed him off.

Let's go. Thank you for listening to 79. We're back with episode 80 next week. I'll be bringing in a special guest and I'll end my probation. So stay tuned to find out who that is. You've been on a job trial after I demoted you and put you back on probation.

Which he does not have the power to do. Our tax official made him sign one paper. Now he thinks he can fire and fire. Mitchell, that's one. Oh, no. That's two. I'm not saying anything. Remember when teachers would go to the whiteboard,

they wouldn't say anything, and they'd hold up a pen, and they'd stand at the whiteboard, and everyone say anything, and they'd hold up a pen and they'd stand at the whiteboard and everyone was talking and they'd just draw a dash, pun, and then they'd draw another line and there'd be one student that's like, guys, Miss McManus, look what she's doing. And then Miss McManus would be like, this is the amount of minutes out of your lunchtime that you'll be saying back. And she'd go, this isn't my time, boys and girls.

This is your lunchtime that you're reading into. Go on, keep talking. I've got my egg salad here with me. But also, what about, oh, lunchtime is your time, not mine. Bullshit, you've got yard duty. You've got to fucking get out there just like us. Yeah, Mrs. Robinson, you've got a call with your divorce attorney because your husband's leaving you for the PE teacher.

So hop your trot and get your iPhone out of your locker and call your lawyer. Out of your pigeonhole? Pigeonhole! But anyway, jokes aside, Mitchell, I am looking forward to finally lifting your probation period if and only if you get a guest on next week. All right.

God, the pressure's on, Jenna. Because you're on such a roll. Jenna, let's take a moment. If I was there, I'd pat him on the back. He's doing well, isn't he? And my thigh's a shoulder. Careful. Don't pat me.

Jenna, why are you clapping your little bitch? You've got to clap. Honestly, Jenna's such a jealous bitch. Well done. Well done. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I've got applause too. Do you want to hear them? Yeah, let's compare. Now, sound effects are my thing. Can we rewind to the start of this fucking show when I thought sound effects would be great? You berated me, yelled at me. Now you think they're in and they're cool. No, no, no.

I just think there's a time and a place for sound effects. But back in the early days, you were just playing them willy-nilly. I could barely get through a sentence without some sort of sound effect. WSFM time-saver traffic. That was good. That was the time and the place. Do you want to hear my applause? Yes, play it.

Go for it. I'm sorry. That sounds like someone's water broke in a marble floor. Yeah, you're right. That one's no good. What's that? Laughter. Yeah, but what if I were to say Julie Bishop's mother is a butler?

Could you do this? You got the person wrong. It's Angela Bishop, not Julie Bishop. Oh, fuck. You've ruined it. That's frustrating. Anyway, who will be my guest next week? Stay tuned to find out.

Episode 80, all will be revealed. Guys, mugs are available. Don't forget, link in our bio. Not for long, too. Very limited run. Hey, question. It supports us, yeah. Next week's guest, are you chasing anyone?

Is there someone already locked in? Or are you just like, is this blind faith? You're just hoping to fuck that something comes through? Oh, no, I've got it fully planned out. I've got about three email pictures out and I've heard back from a couple. We're just sorting out dates. Okay, so there's a few tentative but nothing locked in. Correct.

Okay, well, I believe in you. Yeah, I book a guest for my radio show every day. I'll pull a rabbit out of my hat if I need to. Oh, we're saying something nice. Don't back Jack. Very true, very true. I've got Guy Sebastian on speed dial, don't you forget. Don't get Guy Sebastian. Excuse you.

Guy's lovely. No, he is actually. Get Guy. We could do Guy. No, you'll have to stand by to find out. You've got a week to get through it. We'll see you on Instagram Live on Sunday night. Buy a mug, leave us a review. Five stars. Thank you to those who sent us in messages. Poor Jack found dead. And we will see

you back next week. Love you, Jack. Goodbye, guys. See you guys. Bye-bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment on the end. We hope to trick most people out of hearing this part.

We don't really want anyone to hear. If you're here, you're not meant to be, but it's fine. If you've discovered it, you can stick around. Yeah, this is the shocking after party that you weren't really invited to, but you kind of stumble upon and you might love it. You might hate it. That's this show. Did you ever have like a 21st or an 18th or any sort of party at your house

and your parents were there and they knew that there was a certain point in the night that they just leave? They're like, okay, we'll give them some time to be their real gross teenage selves. The side of them that they probably don't really want us to see. That's what this is. I hope my mum takes the Hinton tunes out. Oh, no.

My parents, nope, do not know boundaries. My parents love a party. My mum got high with this at my 18th. It was like the coming together of my drama friends and my theatre friends and my school friends and my drama friends bought joints and everyone was smoking it and my mum and dad had a joint and we were smoking it with our family friends who were there loving it

and we couldn't get them to bed. We had to go to bed because they would not stop partying. That's great. Did you have any? I'm surprised because you don't strike me as the type that would get blazed. No, I didn't have any. I think maybe I had one bum puff and I'm gigantic

so nothing happened. But I didn't have my first real joint until America. I did cocaine and a joint on the – have I ever said this? Am I allowed to talk about this? Nosebleed. You had an instant nosebleed into a Versace toilet on the Upper East Side. That story has always been that you had a nosebleed from your first cigarette. Was it a joint?

No, in New York I had my first joint and my first cocaine. Am I allowed to talk about drugs? No. Oh, fuck it. But, like, I thought that it was your first cigarette that gave you a nosebleed or was it both no it might I had my first when I had my first Winfield Red at my graduation for my at my year 12 grad party it was at year 10 DJ Tiger Lily was performing I think it was year 10 and I had a Winfield Red and I had a nosebleed but I also had a nosebleed when I had my first joint and line of cocaine in New York City. I've got very sensitive nasal linings.

Can I just say how uncool that is? Oh, after my year 10 graduation when DJ Tiger Lily was performing, I had my first cigarette and it was too much. I interviewed her and told her that story. And you know when you sometimes like tell a story and you go, oh, I could either love this or hate it. She had zero interest in it. She couldn't care less.

I think she was more offended that I brought up that she used to do year 12 gigs. She was like, no, that wasn't me. No, no, no, no, no. I'm an artist. And so, Jenna, did you get your wise cross or Mitch, did you also get a fucking nosebleed when you had your first joint? Yeah, I've had both. Oh, okay. So it is both.

It's both. We got there in the end. It's like I'm pulling teeth, guys. Seriously. I will be honest. I think the second one was more the cocaine. And it was when I had cocaine for the first time. Oh, it would have been if you were snorting. Yeah, I was snorting.

And then they said I was freaking out because I'm at my brain. I shouldn't do this. And they said, have a puff. You'll be fine. It'll calm you down. And then, no, nose was bleeding. I was high. It was an awful thing.

I was on the Upper West Side of New York City. I didn't know anyone. It was a really awful experience. Yeah, I reckon your anxiety would have been a factor as well because it sounds like you started to get a bit paranoid. Oh, my brain, I shouldn't be doing this. So automatically it's a shit high. Exactly. And then, because it was a fully catered event, I have i found photos the other day let me get them up and then

um i it was a catered event because they were very rich and i went and sat in the study and sat on a chocolate mud cupcake in the velvet chair that was very expensive and she got she was very upset and was like like you should pay for it but we will. But that's not on. You don't do that at people's houses. You don't sit on cupcakes on a velvet lounge. Who does that? No, I did it. That was my cupcake. Oh, right.

I thought that it was your mistake and that someone left it there. It was a dark room. You sat down, didn't realise there was a fucking cupcake. No, it was fully lit. I think I just put it on there to talk to someone because there was a grand piano in the same room and we're theatre kids and they're all on drugs. So everyone's playing fucking Glee tracks and then I sit in this chair and I put a cupcake in.

Yeah, okay, they're right. You should have paid for that. I should have. I should have. Anyway, that's enough talk about me and my nose. I, oh my God, no, I'm going to go right back into it. I had a nosebleed the other night. I woke up and I was covered in blood.

Really? What happened? I don't know. Maybe Hayden finally had enough of the snoring and it was just like, ah, king hit will sort this. It just hit me. Because I woke up and it was obviously dark. And you know when you touch your nose, you go, oh, like my nose is running. Yeah, yeah.

It's running. Yeah. And then I'm like, oh, it's actually like actively running right now. And then I like keep looking and I go, no that's blood and i'm like hey my nose is bleeding he turns the light on there's blood all over i don't know what it was but my nose is bleeding do you know what is happening to me at the moment yeah um you know how i had that skin condition on my neck it was like a razor rash that just wouldn't go away yeah it's cleared up look oh yay i mean i only see one giant pixel over Zoom, but I'm assuming it's nice.

I look like a porcelain doll. Make no mistake. But they gave me antibiotics for it. But then as well as that, they gave me an antibiotic cream that you applied, not to the area, but through your nose. What? And I just didn't question it. I was like, okay. They were like, oh, it's connected to your sinuses.

I don't fucking know. And so every morning I've had to be basically picking my nose, but with this little ointment on the end. And I hate it because half the time, even though I've blown my nose and cleared the area before putting this awful fucking antibiotic cream in, I shove it up the nostril and then I'm like, oh, yep, good, it's in. I pull it out, booger on my finger. No, I didn't want to wake up to that.

I didn't want to wake up to that. That's disgusting. And you can't just flick a booger. You have to dispose of it. Yeah. And I'm in bed still, so I'm like, do I just wipe it on the new booger? No, I shouldn't. No, I shouldn't.

I'll get up. I'll get up. I have to say, there's nothing better, maybe add this to the list of drugs and dick, than a good nose blow. When you get it out, it's clean and it's a nice tissue. You could just pull it away and there's no residual snot and you chuck that and you go, oh, I'm crystal clear.

It's a nice blow. Add that in. A nice blow. And people can laugh. It's a little Easter egg because we're gay. Have you guys heard the new Elton John Dua Lipa song? It's very good. I have not. No, I haven't either.

It's brilliant. She sings Rocket Man. Don't forget copyright laws. We're only allowed to play the song if we're critiquing it. So let's critique this bitch. Oh, true. Okay, all right. Well, good point.

All right, here we go. This is Cold Heart, and it's got Pinal on it. Aussie people. Oh, really? Aussie DJs. That's very nice. Very cruisy. Interesting beat.

I enjoy it. I like the beat. Elton. I would have said When Things Go Right. Yeah. When the scent of her legs can taste so strong. Interesting beat choice. Except when things go right. Yeah. Interesting beat choice. Don't you find it weird that Elton's being played on Kiss now?

It doesn't sound like him either. No. Wait for Dua, ready? Oh, she's very good. She's great. This is Rocketman, ready? Do we like it? Mitchell's zoned out. I like it? Mitchell's zoned out. I like it.

Sorry, I was Googling a song that I wanted you to play after that. Oh, okay. No, but you know how she's singing Rocket Man? Yeah. He should sing levitating. My honey boo. Yeah, it's true. He should just come in with my sugar boo. Yeah, it's true.

He should just come in with my sugar boo. Can I just say, I went and saw Elton John live beginning of 2020, I think it might have been, and he can't hear the high notes he used to. No, I saw him live too in the Wollongong Recreational Centre. Oh, you went to the Wollongong show? Yeah, and no word of a lie, it's a great use of this sound effect again and completely organic. We're all sitting there in the Wollongong Recreational Centre that they use for fucking TAFE fairs,

and we're sitting there and they're like, Elton was meant to start ten minutes ago, where the fuck is he? No! This helicopter lands behind the amphitheatre without a word of a lie, then all of a sudden, out of of the blue like maybe a minute later he just begins his first song and goes dancing, rock lobster

whatever the fuck his music is and then thank you so much thank you so much, everyone's applauding and he goes backstage, that was such a good show that was such a good show he goes thank you and then looks at his palm, woolen gong but then he flies away into the distance behind the stage.

No lie. I can't believe that because, like, I've never travelled by helicopter. I know. Did you wonder? I know. Yeah. But I can't imagine touching down and then just having to be on. I feel like you'd need a little bit of recuperation,

like a bit of downtime before you can – like, after being on a chopper, it sounds like being on a plane where you just feel fucked afterwards. Yeah, you've been on a chopper with Jackie O. What a weird sentence. Oh yeah, that's right. I have. And oh, what really takes it out of you, those gorgeous Harvard views. I can imagine. You know how we were talking last week about Big Little Lies, that show with Reese Witherspoon,

Nicole Kidman. Yeah. What is it? Is it on Binge now? I think so, because it's HBO, so it's Binge or Foxtel. Yeah. So, they always seem to drop on Foxtel when they're doing the week-by-week release, but then Foxtel own Binge.

So, once it's done, they just chuck it all on Binge. Smart. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, the next thing you need to watch, Mitchell, if you liked Big Little Lies, is Little Fires Everywhere. Oh, Little Fires Everywhere. Isn't that a book? Is that a novel?

It is. It's another one of those ones where Reese Witherspoon, you know how she's got her own production company. She bought the rights to the book, turned it into a TV show. It's brilliant. It's such a fucking rollercoaster, let me tell you that. But I've just become a Reese Witherspoon stan. Yeah, she's great. I loveese witherspoon she's great she's you know she's like the

she the most out of any female actress in the last year or her net worth is like it is she's like the almost a billionaire richest actress yeah and it's not her i don't even reckon it's her acting work it's it's the production company as well yeah yeah i think it is primarily the production company she just sold it to apple she just got rid of it she sold the production company can you find that speech i'm having another remember i went rogue and was just going on about how much i love dido recently yeah i'm having another moment i'm having a wreath with a spoon appreciation moment yeah what do you want look up on youtube some speech she did jenna do you remember when it was where she talked about starting the production company and women in film?

Oh, yes, yes. Just look up Reese Witherspoon's speech. Oh, ambition is not a dirty word? That's it. That's it. I dread reading scripts that have no women involved in their creation because inevitably I get to that part where the girl turns to the guy and she goes, what do we do now? Now, do you know any woman in any crisis situation

who has absolutely no idea what to do? So anyway, after I went to visit these studios, I started telling people about this current pipeline and that there was barely any female leads in films and the industry was in crisis and people were aghast. That's horrible, they said. And then they changed the subject and move on to their dinner and move on with their lives. But I could not change the subject. I couldn't turn to some man and say, what do we do now? This is my life. It was time to turn to myself and say, what are we going to do now? Okay, Reese, what are we going to do now? Fuck yes, Reese. The answer is really clear. My mother, who's here tonight, very strong, smart Southern woman said to me, if you want something done, honey, do it yourself.

So I started my own production company, Pacific Standard Films, with the mission to tell stories about women. And I was nervous, y'all. I was spending my own money, which everyone in the movie business always tells you, don't spend your own money on anything. I was warned that on the crazy chance that Pacific Standard would acquire any good scripts, we would never make it past our first few years of business because there just wasn't a market for buying female-driven material. But like Elle Woods, I do not like to be underestimated. Love her. I am a very avid reader.

In fact, I'm a complete book nerd. And so is my producing partner. So we just tore through tons of manuscripts and read so many things before they were published. But we could only find really two pieces of material that we thought were great. And we optioned them with our money and we prayed that they would work. Both were strong, complicated, fascinating women at the center and both were written by women. And lo and behold, both books hit number one on the New York Times bestseller list in July

of 2012. That's right, bitch. One was called Gone Girl. And the second was called Wild. So we made those two films last year. And those two films grossed over half a billion dollars worldwide. So that was year one. And Against the Odds, Pacific Standard has had a year two and a year three.

We've bought five more bestselling books. Next year, we're going to make two of those, Big Little Lies and Luckiest Girl Alive into films. And they all have female leads of different ages and different races and different jobs. But our company isn't just thriving because it feels like a good thing to do. It's thriving because female-driven films work. Beautiful. Wasn't that empowering? See, that's why she's the highest paid.

She's not even in half of those projects that she made. She's just doing the production company shit. What an icon. What a brain. I know. And oddly enough, I've never seen Legally Blonde. Neither have I. What?

No, you have to. I've never seen it. What about the musical? I don't have to do anything, Jenna. Yeah. Oh, shut up. I've seen the musical. I've seen clips of the musical. But I've never seen it. You have to. It's just such an easy watch. Yeah. If I'm claiming myself to be an

Reese Witherspoon stan, then I probably should watch, you know, the one that made her big. Like I said, it's such an easy watch. The back catalogue, yeah. Might be a good Friday night watch, mate. Yeah, definitely. We'll see.

Do it. I'm still going on SVU. I'm up to season 17. Oh, my God. Have you ever committed to a show that goes that long? No. How many seasons are there? They're making their 23rd now.

But how can you enjoy it this isn't every episode standalone like how can you enjoy like it used to be but in the later seasons they've started actually following the characters and their development which i'm really into they're catering now to like the stands like myself rather than the people that just watch reruns that sounds sounds smart. I like that. Is Dr. Belinda Warner made an appearance? Melinda, yeah. No, she's, like I said, she's a recurring character. She's been bumped.

She does bring the crime and solve. Solve the crimes. She does solve the crime and bring the knowledge. Happy, happy birthday, Lisa. Whatever the fuck that was. You know what I'm watching? It's brilliant. Ten out of ten.

I've never enjoyed something. I haven't enjoyed something this much in years. Hacks. I really want to watch that. Oh, my God. It's right up my alley. It looks amazing. You love it too, Mitch. It's brilliant.

What is it? It's basically our dynamic. It's an old washed up comedian that has a young sprightly. Hang on. Which one's that? Well, you didn't let me finish. Has a young sprightly up and coming, which one's that? Well, you didn't let me finish. Has a young sprightly up-and-coming comedian to help her out. Who's who?

You're the grumpy bitch. Oh, sorry. Hold on, hold on. Isabella, I've got my door closed. Isabella wants to get out. Oh, Jesus. Oh, bye, Isabella. Sorry, sweetie.

Proving my point. He's got no pants on. He just stood up. I thought that was Isabella for a second. Oh, no. Just a cat paw. Okay, sorry. Who's the washed up fucking comedian?

Dean, tell me. You. No, it was more that you're the old grumpy bitch. Never. No, it's Jean Smart, who's an icon. And she plays like a Joan Rivers character, who is this classic american staple of comedy but she's now doing vegas residencies at like 70 75 oh right yeah i've heard the ads for that yeah

brilliant and um her material sort of waning and she gets given from her management a young up-and-coming writer who lost a job and they work together and and it's just hilarious and they argue but it's so well written it's fucking hilarious and it's just great. It's very up our alley. So go watch Hacks. I could not recommend it more. I didn't stop laughing. And I sobbed. On Stan?

On Stan. And I sobbed in the finale and I have not cried in a show for a long time. Wow. Laughed and cried. Laughed and cried. It was great. So who's the young up and coming writer that is assisting me, the old hag, in this dynamic? Well.

That would be me. That would be Jen. All right, we should go. This has been a long fucking show. We did so much. We'll be back next week. Are we ready to head off, guys? Sure.

My Pfizer's kicking in. Oh, no. Oh, what does that mean? It means that there was code in the room, but now I don't have it. Nice. Good save. No, I feel fine, but I'm just, apparently Pfizer, the vaccine gets you the next day, but I honestly feel fine. And after my first one, I felt fine. Do you reckon it's because, and I don't mean to sound rude, do you reckon it's because you're like a big guy and not fat? I mean, just mean like tall, big in general. That's fine. Everyone I've known that has, you know, had a vaccine and then they felt a bit lethargic the next day or whatever have been

like tiny skinny minis i've been good maybe your theory is right mitch that the bigger you are your body can just handle it yeah and that's all it is purely a theory i feel like there's no medical research to back that fat fucks don't get side effects. Like, that's the study's name. Yeah, yeah, the fat fuck study. What do you mean science? Who needs science to back anything? No. If a video's on the internet, you believe it. It's real.

Yeah. Should I go make a TikTok about how skinny minis get side effects from the jab but big heifers do not? Okay, let's wrap the show up. Let's go. What's the tagline? I hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better this week, guys.

I mean, yeah, that is the tagline, but you meant to say it way more gently than that. Well, I just wanted to bring some oomph to it. We do hope that this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today. That's all. Just 2%. Yeah. You don't need to fucking shout at them. 2%!

We already did that to Jack. We did. Yeah, we did. Yeah, sorry, Jack. Love you, darling. We love you, Jack. And thank you for joining. I'm having my brain's faltering, guys.

We've got to go. Go home. I will. Go to the go. You're in it. Go. Just go. You're already home.

I was trying to think of a joke because he was already home. But I've really reached. Let's leave it there. Let's leave it there let's leave it there all right we'll see you next week guys we love you see you then bye bye see ya bye is it just me a podcast by a couple of mitches make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app call staff.