Is It Just Me? - #81: Moderator Games
Episode Date: August 30, 2021The mighty MODERATOR GAMES kick off this week!In this episode:Churi’s trolley fetish (8:07)Getting BOGGED (13:57)This week’s reviews (20:06)Dot Wiggins does a ‘Sound of Silence’ prank call (21...:59)Jenna writes ‘The Block’ FanFic (28:19)MODERATOR GAMES (31:39)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (54:17)Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
People do some weird shit.
Television legend Kerri-Ann Kennelly fell several metres from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pippet.
Some things make more sense than others.
Ring Pikes Nurseries.
What nursery?
Pikes. P-Y-K-E-S.
P-Y-A.
K as in kill.
P-Y-A. K as in kill.
P-Y-E.
K!
Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood.
Why is being alive so expensive?
I'm not even having a good time.
This is Is It Just Me?
Hosted by a couple of Mitches.
What about me?
Don't forget Chin-O.
Who?
Now, here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coon.
81 up the bum.
Welcome, Mitchell Coon.
Oh, I thought you'd never ask. Oh, imagine.
A lot of fanfic about us.
I've read it on the forums.
What forums?
No, there's none.
Do you think there's fanfic about you and I out there?
I hate to think what it would say.
Anyone who ships us.
If you're old, ship is when you're like you want two pairings in a TV show to work.
Like people might ship Ron and Hermione.
They want them to get together.
It's often a duo or someone that is associated with each other.
Like I'm sure there's fanfiction for the three block judges.
someone that is associated with each other.
Like, I'm sure there's fan fiction for the three block judges.
I'm sure people want Shayna Blaze to absolutely plough Darren in one of the newly renovated bathrooms.
Hey, our third wheel, Prizekeeper Jenna, welcome back.
I'm glad we can hear you this week.
Hi, Jenna.
Could you please Google the block fanfic?
Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
Never asked.
Her mic was off.
Oh, not again.
Sorry, no, that was a me.
That was a me.
Oh, Google it.
Yeah, fanfic is. Oh, not again. Sorry, no, that was a me. Oh, Google it, yeah.
Fanfic is, I am not embarrassed to say that I have been turned on by fanfiction before.
What was it about?
I think it was One Direction fanfiction.
I didn't go looking for it.
This was like.
You just happened to be on Wattpad.
No, I was on Tumblr.
And I think I would scroll Tumblr, I don't know what for.
And there was One Direction fanfic. And I kind of like, I got barred up. And I think I would scroll Tumblr, I don't know what for, and there was One Direction fanfic and I kind of like,
I got barred up over it.
I enjoyed it.
Who was fucking who?
Oh, Harry was definitely the leader.
And I'm pretty sure it was Niall and Liam.
Oh, there were more than one.
Oh, gotcha.
They were all going for it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember one time my old housemate and I, we were drunk
and we were just looking up random fanfic and we found a Harry Potter fanfic.
There were two.
One of them, Ginny was fucked by the basilisk.
Oh, see, now that's where I draw the line.
Beastiality.
Like an oversized snake.
That doesn't sound practical at all.
And the other one was M-Preg is in male pregnancy
and Draco Malfoy was pregnant.
Oh, I've just Googled the world's weirdest fanfic and get this.
Hold on, let me, surely I can find some fanfic music.
Listen to this.
The magic school bus catastrophe.
Oh, no.
I don't like that.
This is the synopsis.
The school bus gets jammed, bogged in the mud.
Miss Frizzle gets crunk.
If you've got school in the same sentence as, like, an erotic novel,
I'm already just like, no.
Anyway, apparently Miss Frizzle locks the kids out of the bus
while she gets it on with the lizard in the back seat.
BCR, no. Please, I'm the lizard!
No, please, no.
The lizard?
Yeah, you know how she's got that iguana on her shoulder?
The goanna.
The goanna.
Oh, she rooted her lizard.
Unfortunately, there is no block fan fiction.
Well, get writing, Jenna.
Make yourself useful for one.
I could write it.
I used to write One Direction fan fiction.
Oh, then why don't you write some block fanfic? Okay, I will.
Okay. Now? Doesn't
Jenna seem like the type that would write
fanfic? It makes so much sense.
Hold on, you actually did write fanfic? Yes.
Well, I'll give you some actual better
fanfic.
Write some block fanfic
about Shaina
Darren.
Who's Darren? Darren Palmer. I'd rather see Scotty Cam chock a block up Shaina. Yeah,na, Darren. Who's Darren?
Darren Palmer.
I'd rather see Scotty Cam chock-a-block up Shayna.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Yep.
And Shelley Craft would just be touching herself in the corner.
She wouldn't be getting involved because she's too highbrow.
Yeah, Jenna, don't do it now.
Just work away on it slowly throughout the show and we'll check in later.
You can leave the studio if you need to focus.
Good, good, good.
Okay.
Hey, we should say this week, you guys are getting your sweet revenge from my silencing
of Jenna on the previous episode. Yeah, anyone who listened to episode 80 last week, a momentous
episode, but unfortunately our third wheel was completely mute. Mitch forgot to record
her mic in, not like that's a big part of his job or whatever. And so we thought this week, Mitch, just as a bit of payback,
we would give you the silent treatment.
And you're going to be doing your own challenge that you invented,
Sound of Silence, which to you, someone who loves the chat,
is like so confronting.
The thought of being quiet.
Yeah, it literally is anxiety inducing.
That freaks me the fuck out.
But I'll do it.
I don't mind.
I'll do it.
We haven't worked out who I'm calling yet.
So that is still to come.
Yeah.
And I will figure that out.
That's a fucking later us problem.
Yeah.
But us now.
Thank you for being here.
Welcome to Is It Just Me?
Every week we start the show the exact same way.
Something we've noticed.
Something we hate or appreciate.
We bring an idrim each.
Mitch has one. I have one, then we start the show.
It's pretty simple.
Yeah, do you want to go first or should I?
I can go first because I think mine will be quite punchy.
Mine is something that I realised because grocery shopping
has become a holiday for us here in Sydney
because we're in such staunch lockdown.
Getting out of the house is such a pleasure.
So I noticed this when I was grocery shopping over the weekend and i just want to know if it is a if it's just me thank god that we have
this podcast yeah yeah we are stuck at home right now i'm just gonna let everyone know now i'm
working from home obviously and i've gone to the effort of trying to make my room kind of soundproof
like i'm surrounded by blankets and stuff but i don't think that's going to help because it's raining outside and so you can probably hear rain if you're if you're
like one of those people that likes to go to sleep to the sound of rain noises apologies if you're
driving you might drift off the road to your death because you might hear the rain in the background
of my mind apologies apologies if you were to die if your family uh find this recording this is why
are you i can't hear it mitchell though oh hold on let me let me crank my mic up can you hear this ready surely you can hear that
it sounds like hail but it's definitely not
i just thought maybe jordan your housemate was pissing for the last 12 minutes
yeah i'm sorry it's kind of peaceful, everyone.
Just allow it.
But let's not forget, Mitchell,
you've also got your big segment coming up later.
Yeah, I do.
Oh, my God, how could I forget today?
The 81st episode is when we launch the first...
Sorry, the porn music.
The first annual...
Moderator Games!
We are in need of a moderator.
Actually, we're not really in need of it.
No, we don't really need one.
This idea came to me at the end of last week's episode
and we have a Facebook group and we need someone to moderate it
and we have five tributes, five listeners who have convinced themselves
that it's a good idea to come on the show today
and battle it out to be chosen as our moderator.
Yeah, I thought this is so fucking stupid, this idea, when you first came up with it,
because who's going to want to put their hand up to basically do...
Free work.
To have a duty?
Yeah.
It's literally...
We're giving you a responsibility, but so many people registered.
How many people have you narrowed it down to?
Well, we've narrowed it down to five.
Okay.
So, gird your
loins, get some champers. That'll be on later
in the show. I think we should start, though, Mitch.
Should I do my agem? I've got no idea what
these games are going to involve.
The best part is, neither do I.
This is your
segment. I hope you've got someone. We'll be fine.
We'll be fine. Alright, let's start.
I completely forgot
who we agreed was starting.
I'll do it.
I'll go.
Let me go first.
All right, go.
Top of mind.
Is it just me or are the baby shopping trolleys better than the full adult shopping trolleys?
Absolutely.
They've got a flag.
No, not the baby ones.
Not the toddler ones, Jenna.
Oh, good. I was going to say, they are not ergonomically safe.
Like those tiny things, you'd be arching your back.
You'd have shoulder strain as an adult, especially someone as humongous as you trying to use
a baby trolley.
For everyone else, it's tiny.
But for me, it's like a Coles mini shop.
It's ludicrous.
No, no, no, no, no.
I have been doing so many grocery shops and it's become a place of joy for me
because I can get out of the house.
And you go to the front of Coles, you sign in these days,
and there are two trolleys.
And this has only been maybe a five to ten year advancement
where if you wanted a trolley, you got the big one or you got a basket.
You know, you had those two options.
But in the last five, ten years, they've got like the medium-sized,
mid-tier trolley.
They're the same size. They're just not as deep.-sized mid-tier trolley. They're the same size.
They're just not as deep.
They're like a shallow trolley.
They're higher.
They're higher.
They're like on stilts.
Oh, my God.
Even if I have to do a full house shop, we get the medium-sized trolley.
There's just something about it that screams premium to me.
But also, if you're only going in there for a couple of bits and bobs,
I don't want to lug around a basket.
I'd rather just the medium trolley.
I don't want to be selfish and take the full trolley,
but I'll take a little one, you know?
Agreed.
And the worst part about getting a basket is you grab it
because you think you're only going to get two things.
But then you see TV snacks are on sale.
And then, oh, they brought back chicken in a biscuit.
Oh, they've got Tim Tam, the Zumba collection.
You pop, you pop, you pop.
And then all of a sudden it's in your hand.
You go, oh, I'll move it down to the little crease in my elbow.
And then you hold it like this.
And you go, jeez, that's cutting circulation.
And you try and hold it like a handbag.
And it gets bigger and bigger.
Have you also ever gotten home after doing a shop where you've been
carting things on your arms, whether it be the bags or the basket,
and you might strip off to have a shower and you're like,
what are these aggressive marks
on my arms it's from the weight of the fucking baskets oh yeah that's me i'd go for grocery
shopping with mom i'd help her out then we'd get home we'd pull into the garage and i'd help her
take the groceries into the kitchen i would use every joint that i had to grapple at coles but i
would not do more than one trip to the booth.
So I would contort my fingers like I'm in the Exorcist and I would hook them all on and I'd be shaking like this
because the weight would be so high.
And then you'd be shaking for like another two hours or something.
Yeah, you'd get the follow-on shakes watching the animation
Domination the next morning.
It's a real fine art, grocery shopping.
I know.
Do you know what? I actually, you were saying fun art, grocery shopping. I know. Do you know what?
I actually, you were saying just before that grocery shopping is one of the only reasons
you can leave the house.
Yeah.
But it's only one person per household and usually Jordan goes once in a day and I haven't
left the house in so long.
I know you guys can't relate because I'm the only one working from home and you're, you
know, essential and you're in the studio still. But like me shopping, Jordan does it so I don't relate because I'm the only one working from home and you're, you know, a sandhill and you're in the studio still.
But, like, me shopping, Jordan does it so I don't go, it's fucking raining.
I couldn't even go for my walk.
So I'm feeling a bit chaotic this week.
I just need to give you all the heads up.
Oh, no.
Oh, we should have a little girls' drinks on Zoom.
No, it's a good thing.
Me being chaotic, it means it's going to be a fun show.
Yeah, true. Oh, yes. Mitch is going to be means it's going to be a fun show. Yeah, true.
Oh, yes.
Mitch is going to be trigger happy when we get to eliminating the triggers.
Oh, my God.
In the moderator game.
Yeah, it just means that I have less fucks to give.
And you're already starting with very few.
Next time you're in the grocery shop and you see the little itty bitty trolley,
think of me.
Not the fucking tiny one either.
The medium-sized mid-tier trolley.
Get it.
Not the one with the flag. Think that's the cheery trolley or the one with the seats remember it took
us yeah it took us two shows for someone to send in the trolley that i couldn't put my finger on
that time this is the second time that you've dedicated quite a large portion of the show to
talking about trolleys like is there some kink that you want to fucking disclose today? You love a trolley, don't you?
I do.
You know what I really love?
I love the Target trolleys.
Have you seen the Target trolleys?
Because they're red and they're made of plastic.
It's such a genius idea.
No, I don't think I've ever needed that many things at Target.
Maybe this is a deep-rooted kink and I want to fuck the trolley lady
from Harry Potter. Anything from – no, you do the –ink and I want to fuck the troll lady from Harry Potter.
Anything off the trolley!
What is it?
Well, it depends.
If it's the first movie, she's really gentle like, anything off the trolley, dear?
Yeah.
But if it's the fucking Prisoner of Azkaban, wow, doesn't she get a bit yelly.
Anything off the trolley!
Yay!
That's Professor Puffledove.
Oh, dear.
I love you, trolley.
See, normally at this point in the episode when you start rambling,
I would kick in and wrap things up because I'm like,
this is getting ridiculous.
But as I mentioned, I'm feeling chaotic.
Let's keep the trolley chat going.
Trolley chat.
Listen here.
Let's try and set a record for the longest trolley chat.
Actually, I'm not that chaotic.
Move on.
Also, I think we've hit it and beat it.
Yes.
If you see a trolley out in the wild that you think I'd love,
DM it to me, please.
So we're still going.
Send me your trolley pics.
Are you asking for trolley porn? Yeah, on trolley not trolley porn trolley pics send me photos in your trolley and if you've
got kids say take videos of them going hi mitch show me uncle mitch i'm in the trolley no but
when i when i say trolley porn i mean pics of trolleys like you know how people say food porn
they're not fucking the bacon and eggs oh you're. They just call it food porn because it's an appealing meal.
Tractor porn.
That is actually perfect for what my idiom's about,
can I just say?
Oh, really?
Oh, a nice segue into your idiom.
Tractor porn, hit me.
All right, go for it.
Is it just me or?
Is the concept of getting bogged really fucking weird to you?
Oh, I have a terrible bog story.
So it's an awful experience.
Oh, my God.
The reason I bring this up is because my dad posted a photo on Instagram.
God, I regret showing him how to use Instagram over Christmas.
He's really getting amongst it. I love his post. He posted a photo the Instagram. God, I regret showing him how to use Instagram over Christmas. He's really getting amongst it.
I love his post.
Ian Coombe, 65.
He posted a photo the other day of the tractor being bogged.
I saw that.
And I was like, like when I lived on the farm,
it was such a normal thing.
Oh, Dad's bogged.
But now that I'm in the city, I'm just like, what the fuck?
How do you get bogged?
Like I don't do any off-road driving.
What the hell is being bogged?
In your little Astra.
No, I agree.
What is bogged?
Bogged is when your back, your tyres get stuck in mud, right,
and they just can't get any traction so they just keep spinning.
Yeah, there's no grip.
They just keep spinning.
So it's literally your car's stuck in the mud
and they use the most revolting word known to man, bogged.
Oh, God.
Such a gross word.
It is such a gross term. I've never, bogged. Oh, God. It's such a gross word. It is such a gross term.
I've never been bogged myself in my current car.
I don't know why I find the word bogged so stupid.
Welcome to Bogs Anonymous.
It's a safe space.
31065, when have you been bogged?
31065, did you bog your togs?
Can I tell my bogging story really quickly?
Nah.
Okay.
No, go on.
I want to hear your bugging story.
Me and my-
We just heard you rabid on about trolleys, but go on.
Let's hear about you being bogged.
Riveting shit this week, guys.
Welcome.
Do you think you could bug a trolley?
Yes, definitely.
Imagine walking home in the rain from college with your trolley
and it getting bogged in the mud.
That would be awful.
Hi, sweetheart.
You're going to have to come pick me up.
I'm bogged in the trolley.
The trolley's bogged.
I'm bogged in the trolley.
Do you reckon you could get bogged on one of those mobility scooters?
Fuck yeah.
Yeah.
Well, bogging is because you can't get out of a vehicle and move it.
Like, you can't pick it up.
But you could just get out and move your electric scooter or your trolley.
Like, that's not really a bog.
If you need an electric scooter because you're not able-bodied,
you probably can't just get off and yeet the thing out the mud.
True, true, true.
Good point.
Fuck.
He could bog anything.
I bogged a golf cart once.
Oh, was that his name?
Wow, what is going on today?
We are ridiculous.
And we have guests coming on the show.
I'm stir crazy.
It's lockdown.
No, my bugging story.
Now it's going to be terrible.
You know when you hype up a story, then you tell it and it's not funny.
Okay, I'll calm down.
I want to hear the fucking story.
My family and I went around Australia when I was probably 13 in a Winnebago.
We hired one, like an RV.
Oh, that sounds so cool.
A motorhome.
Well, my sister was at the peak of her boyfriend stage.
She was like 16, really cool, didn't want to be there.
I'm like, this is great.
My little sister was playing around.
Anyway, so my baby sister Rachel was at the stage where she loved horses,
currently your stage.
Yes.
Was she upset when you murdered that horse with your hefty frame?
Tobin.
Well, she rode Tobin years before me.
And I don't think he ever told her that I was the cause of his spinal cancer.
Oh, no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No.
Anyway, so we were driving through the fucking, I don't know,
middle of Australia.
And my little sister goes,
oh, my God, horsies, horsies.
Look at the horsies on the side of the road.
And my dad, being the beautiful, soft-centred,
kind-hearted family man that he is, goes,
I'm going to drive and show my daughter the horsies.
Oh, God.
Little did we know that it was private property.
It was someone's house, and it was their land at the front.
So we drive, no joke, up this maybe one kilometre into someone's property.
So you were trespassing.
We were trespassing.
Then it starts raining and we drive in.
Look at the horses.
Great.
Oh, it's raining.
Let's get back in the car and go.
So dad tries to do a three-point turn in this Maui camper van and it gets bogged, blocking the arterial road, reversing.
Shit, Michelle, we're fucking bogged.
And Rachel's going, you're getting mud on the horses.
And Becky was upset because she was texting this boy and there was no reception down there.
And I was loving it.
Anyway, the doors open to this palatial mansion and out comes this woman absolutely beside herself, screaming with her daughter in her hands.
Her daughter has gone into anaphylaxis.
She's allergic to peanuts or something.
And here we are.
Are you bogged on my good crops?
We had blocked the driveway and she had to drive to the hospital
to take her sick and ailing daughter.
And she goes, get in the car, get the EpiPen.
Who the fuck are you?
And mum's out the front going, Mark, back it up.
Reverse.
Put it in reverse.
Rachel's going, no.
The horses are whinnying.
And this lady goes, you need to get the fuck out of the way.
And we couldn't.
She's like, I'm so sorry to trouble you on my property.
But can you fucking get out of the way?
So we had to call a fire truck to winch us out and this girl her like she wasn't
dying but she i've obviously had some sort of reaction and she needed medical assistance but we
we stopped her from doing so i have photos i'll paste them to the facebook group but sorry mitchell
i believe this was your original no i'm i'm hooked how did you get unbogged in the end so the fire
the fire truck came and winched to the front of it and pulled us up out.
Right.
I think Dad sent her money.
I mean, he sent her a wad of cash.
But, yeah, it was bad.
Yeah, that's the thing.
You need something with more horsepower than the machine that's already
bogged to get you out.
Yes.
And on Dad's Instagram the other day, he's bogged the tractor
and the combine. And
he wrote on his Instagram caption, thanks Jane for helping us out. And I was like,
what the fuck could Jane have possibly offered to get you out of your bog?
Because you're in the tractor. That's the most hefty machine we own.
What's heftier than a tractor? Mitchell Turi. We're in lockdown. He can't go to Bogengate.
Mitchell Turi, we're in lockdown.
He can't go to Bougainvillea.
You're listening to Is It Just Me?
The podcast that bribes you for your praise.
All right.
Review time.
You can leave us a five-star review.
That's the only fucking option on Facebook.
You can go to a couple of Mitch's and it reviews.
Or you can go to Apple Podcasts. Five stars. Thank you very much.
If your review gets called out
on the show, you have a week to get in contact
with Prizekeeper Jenna to win yourself
a commemorative Season 3 Is It Just Me
mug now in pink.
And if you don't win one, it's
fine. Just buy yourself one, babes.
Part with a few bucks on our
Instagram. Link in bio.
You're good to go.
This one is from Duan Hellslop, which is a real name and a half.
Hello, Duan.
Hello, Duan Hellslop.
Love it.
Love listening to the podcast while I work.
I work as a cleaner, so having both Mitch's in my ears,
and Jenna, of course, while I'm elbow deep in someone's dunny,
definitely brightens up my day.
Love that.
Oh, there's a synergy there.
I like it.
Isn't there?
Only a new listener, so I've got many, many, many hours ahead
of me catching up and I couldn't be more excited.
Keep it up.
Oh, Dwan Hellslop, congratulations.
You've got yourself a match.
Welcome to the club, Dwan.
Well done.
Dwan Hellslop.
This one is from Lee Bartlett, short and sweet On Facebook, she says
These guys are funny
Love watching them on Instagram live Sunday nights
Takes the boredom out of lockdown
I'm addicted
Well, Lee, that's all
Well done
You've won yourself a mug
That's all we need from you, babe
So easy
That's right
Alright, as we move on
Don't forget
Today is the day you were not mistaken.
The IJM first annual Moderator Games is on.
Location, this studio.
That will be happening after we do an IJM favourite.
The Sound of Silence.
Yeah, so Sound of Silence is a game that Mitchell Turi invented
where you call someone and then when they ask you a question,
you leave them hanging and see how long that silence will last
before they hang up.
And, Mitch, even though you invented this game,
I don't believe you've ever actually taken part.
I hate silences.
I can't stand them.
I freak out.
I have to fill the void in any scenario, even the Macca's voice box.
And, of course, we know that you hate silence because you love a chat,
and the reason that we're giving you the silent treatment is because last week
in Episode 80 you decided it would be a good idea to turn Pricekeeper
Jenna's mic off for the entire episode.
I'm sorry, Jenna.
Oh, sorry, I've done it again.
Sorry, Jenna.
Oh, for goodness sake.
That's my fault.
Twice is a show.
Stop it.
I didn't mean to, and the reason is Mitch is at home,
not that I need to justify him, and I'm terrible at it when Mitch
is in here, but it's a little different with Mitch being at home.
There's some different buttons that I'm not used to, so that was it.
But, you know, what can I?
We actually don't.
And you also don't have me there watching over your shoulder reminding you.
Yes, exactly.
Make sure those buttons are right.
It's all on me.
So this is exciting.
Who should we fucking call?
Well, you're the one making the call, babe, so you let me know.
Who do you want to call?
I don't know.
Who's open?
Everyone's shut, Jenna.
Yeah, I know.
We can go somewhere in Perth.
Yeah, go somewhere in Perth.
Oh, my God.
You know what?
I had a footlong sub last night, so I know Subway are open.
I'll call Subway.
Oh, my God. All right, Jenna, can you know Subway are open. I'll call Subway. Oh, my God.
All right, Jenna, can you Google Subway in Perth, please?
No, sorry.
Sorry.
That's your one job to Google.
No, I'm just writing the fanfic.
The Shelley Craft block fanfic.
The block, yeah.
Oh, she's actually doing it.
That's right.
Sorry, we already gave Jenna a task.
You're writing a fanfic.
Okay, well, I'm going to Google Subways in Perth, okay?
Text them to me. I love a good sub. I've got an Italian BMT on Italian herbs and cheese,
honey mustard sauce and a light assortment of veggies.
Okay, I've just texted it to you. Don't forget how it works is you chat for a bit.
And then when they ask you a question like, oh, eat in or take away, that's when you take your
sweet ass time thinking of your response.
Correct.
And that's when the sound of silence comes in.
And I get one bridging term, one term that I can throw into the mix
during the silence to keep the silence going.
You're allowed to extend the silence by saying one phrase
and one phrase only, okay.
Correct.
Oh, my God, I'm excited.
Can I do it as Dot Wiggins?
Oh, my God.
Only because I don't think I could bear to endure the silence,
but when Dot enters, something chemically happens in my brain
and I will not feel the pain.
The 80-year-old alter ego.
Oh, here she comes.
Hello, darling.
Hello, Dot.
Take your face mask off.
Don't worry about it.
I want to sit right here.
Yes, you sit here.
Okay, I'll move.
I'll be in the corner. Hello. you sit here. Okay. I'll move. I'll be in the corner.
Hello.
Oh, hello, Jenna.
Hello, Dot.
Hi, Dot.
Where's the boy?
Oh, I'm over here, Dot.
I'm working from home.
On the screen.
Sorry, you can't see me.
There I am.
I thought there was a window into another room.
Over there.
Hello, darling.
Good boy.
Are you keen for this sound of silence call? You're up, Dot. Hello, darling. Good boy. Are you keen for this sound of silence call?
You're up, Dot.
Oh, no.
The amount of times I just decide to not say anything.
I live like a mute half the time anyway,
so I find this will be perfect.
Fat one, boy, can you...
I'm your grandson!
Put the number in.
Oh, I never knew that.
Dial it up up Pressing dial
It's very loud in my ears darling
I'll turn it down
There we go
I don't know
Why is he laughing girl?
Who? Where am I?
My goodness me.
It's a long one.
Hello, South Central.
Oh, hello, darling.
Is this Subway?
How are you?
I'm good, thank you, darling.
Question.
How can I help?
I was just on Deliver My Roo,
and I was trying to buy a sandwich,
but I couldn't decide on the sauces,
the options went off.
Oh.
May I ask, may I ask,
is it the Thousand Island or the Honey Mustard?
Is that the pick?
Which pick should I go for?
Sorry, what's in your sub?
There's a beeping in the background.
You're not in hospital, are you, darling?
No, I'm making some sandwiches.
With the pandemic and I thought maybe you could be in hospital.
Very loud, very loud.
May I ask, I'm torn between Honey Mustard and Thousand Island.
Could you please give me the benefits?
Yeah, so what's in your actual sub?
Is it like a seafood?
Is it a...
What's in it?
Hello? Hello?
Hello?
Hello, are you still there?
Hello? Hello, are you still there?
Hello?
Oh, he's gone!
I thought that was a good innings.
What did we get to?
I forgot to time it.
I'm running my fan fix.
Duck's not doing that again.
I'm dead.
Good go, Duck. I'm so sorry.
I was so enthralled with that.
I'm sure we can go back when this episode is live and we can time it,
and I'm sure we can find it.
Yeah.
Brilliant.
You guys couldn't hear me.
I muted myself on Zoom, but I was laughing the whole time in the background.
Oh, my God.
Bless him.
You know what?
He was so sweet.
Oh, he was so nice.
He would have happily described the flavoural tones and differences
between Thousand Island and Arnie Mustard to a 90-year-old.
I've never even heard of Thousand Islands.
What's that?
I don't know.
I just freak.
I think that's cocktail sauce.
I think that's what you have with prawns.
All right, Jenna, is your fanfic ready now
or should we do it after Mitch's fucked segment?
Yeah, that's the one.
I've got a lot of it here.
Oh, you're ready?
Yeah, why not?
Okay.
So who is the fanfic about?
Which block stars?
It's about Scotty and...
Scotty Cam, yep.
And Shaina.
Oh, so Scotty's the host of the show.
Yes.
And Shaina is one of the judges.
Yes.
And she famously loves storage, loves places to hide things.
Yes.
Maybe tight spaces, maybe really tight storages she might be into,
or big, loose, sloppy cabinets.
Who knows?
I'm picking up what you're putting down there.
And remember, this is only chapter one.
Oh, okay.
Oh, Jesus.
All right. Our apologies. Now, okay. Oh, Jesus. All right.
Our apologies.
Now, Jenna, I've got a couple of flavours.
Is this, is it more dirty?
Is it more smutty than this?
Yeah.
So this won't work?
No.
Okay, that's fine.
This is called The Porn Music.
Yeah, this is it.
That's going to work.
Why don't you play the block theme song that's like...
Oh, my God.
Would they fuck to that?
Here we go.
Shayna Blaze and Scotty Cam fucking on set.
Go on, Jenna.
Okay.
Scotty, I imagine this is quite difficult for you to understand,
but you don't mix play with stripes,
and especially not when they're so gushly coloured,
Shana said, swiftly taking the throw pillar from his hands
and throwing it against the freshly painted wall.
This reno had taken longer than expected
and their patience was running dangerously low with this particular couple.
First, they complained to Shelley about their rendezvous
in the downstairs bathroom
and now they're filing an official complaint
after witnessing Scotty's bloated body
thrusting against Shana's lean
thighs.
Jenna, this sounds more like a police report than an erotic novel.
In an explicit video circulating the block's contestant's group chat.
Why are you taking this out on me?
Scott asked, embracing Shana.
I'm just disappointed.
That video was meant for both of us, not for those bloody sluts.
It's not my fault I have a sweet spot for shells.
Sorry, where were the shells being shoved?
Is that Shelly Craft?
Yes, yes.
Oh, I thought you meant actual seashells.
I was like, Jesus, what are you doing with those clams?
Shaina sighed, attempting to change the subject. We're on set.
We have to act professional. I'll show you what professional
means to me. That's the end of chapter one.
That's the end. Wow. To be continued.
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.
Wow.
Well done, Jenna.
Thank you.
I'm impressed, Mitch.
Are you?
Yeah, Jenna, why did you not pursue a career in being an author instead of being the world's
most useless producer?
I know.
I should have.
Oh, that's really well done.
Speaking of being a useless producer, Mitchell, your segment is at time.
Good tie-in.
Ladies and gentlemen, it is in fact time for the first annual Moderator Games.
And what are the Moderator Games?
Good question, Mitchell.
As you know, we are a highly profitable business.
We are privately listed on the Stock Exchange.
Really?
And we need someone to manage our hustle and bustle Facebook group.
A moderator.
Mitch, why don't you quickly explain what a moderator does?
It basically means that they don't have the same privileges
as the admins in our Facebook group,
but as a moderator they're allowed to delete comments and shit.
Hee hee.
Hee hee. So we have decided our secret Facebook group, allowed to delete comments and shit. Hear, hear. Hear, hear.
So we have decided our secret Facebook group, Endurant Idiots,
if you're not part of it, join it.
E-N-D-U-R-A-N-T, Idiots.
It's a little community, but it's getting out of hand,
ladies and gentlemen.
Oh, the racism, the misogyny, it's all out of hand in that group.
So we need someone to moderate.
That is why we are throwing the first annual IJM, Moderator Games
and it all
starts now. We
have five contestants, or I like to
call them tributes
from all walks
of life, all corners
of Australia. They're patching in via
Zoom now. Hello, tributes.
Can you hear us?
Yes. Yes. Damn. There they are. I like them.
There's so many of them. This is very exciting. This is a very thrilling moment for us all.
There are five tributes. Why don't you introduce yourself? Let's start with Charles.
Hi, I'm Charles. I'm a year 12 student and I've got trials tomorrow. Oh, dedication.
So it sounds like this is a busy time of year for Oh, dedication. Dedication.
So it sounds like this is a busy time of year for you, Charles.
It might be a big responsibility.
Do you have time to moderate our filthy group?
They're online and you can cheat, so of course.
Oh, he's good.
That's great.
He's good.
A man to my heart.
Let's go to Steph.
Hello, Steph.
Introduce yourself.
Hello, darlings.
I'm Steph.
Hi, darling. All right, let's move on to Callum. Hello, Callum. Introduce yourself. Hello, darlings. I'm Steph. Hi, darling.
All right, let's move on to Callum.
Hello, Callum.
Introduce yourself.
Hey, it's Callum.
Recently out of school, aspiring media student.
So this could be the new start.
Like this could be my version of being the cash cock, you know.
Very true.
High aspirations.
Yeah, if you pop this on your resume, babes.
Oh, imagine the opportunities.
And Callum, I have to say, is one of two.
Charles is also repping the IJM merch,
the limited edition IJM headphone sweater.
So extra points for that.
Very impressive.
Let's go down to the bottom left corner.
Healthcare worker superstar Liam.
Introduce yourself.
So my name's Liam.
I work in Mentor Hall.
Long time idiot here.
Well done, Liam.
Yeah.
Let the bugle play out.
Just for full dramatic effect.
All right, and finally, in the bottom right corner of the Zoom window,
we have Leon.
Introduce yourself, Leon.
Hey, idiots, how are you? yourself, Leon. Hey, idiots.
How are you?
I'm Leon.
I used to have my own radio show.
I bloody love what you guys do.
It's phenomenal.
I'm your resident homosexual pool boy here in Melbourne,
so I'm up for some new adventures.
And so can I ask, were you required to run the Facebook page
in this old radio gig?
I was. I had the Facebook page required to run the Facebook page in this old radio gig? I was.
I had the Facebook page, I had the Instagram page,
and I used to date someone, believe it or not,
who used to do the social media for Peter Hichner.
And when you guys released that episode where you did that,
where he had that little incident on camera.
Everyone thought he was having a stroke on air, yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
I messaged this guy and I say, hey, I know, like, you know,
I left you a breakup message on Snapchat, but, hey,
how's Peter going?
Like, you know.
This is getting unfair.
You've had extra time than the others,
and I'm getting messages of complaints.
I'm totally, but I'm going to have to cut you off.
I mean, so far he sounds the most qualified,
but it all depends on how they go with the games, right?
Exactly right.
Thank you for resetting up, Mitchell.
We now continue the first of three rounds.
We begin with Ijem Knowledge.
Ijem, of course, being Is It Just Me, the podcast in which you are on now.
Yeah, we fucking know.
Your name is your buzzer.
The first person to give the correct answer gets the point.
Here's how it works.
The two people who have...
Jenna, are you keeping score?
I am.
You have a pen? Yep, Sharpie. The two people who have... Jenna, are you keeping score? I am. You have a pen?
Yep, Sharpie.
The two people who have the least points at the end are eliminated.
The least amount of points at the end eliminated.
Are we ready to begin, ladies and gentlemen?
Say aye.
Yes.
Aye.
All right.
For the first point, who was our first ever guest on the first episode of IJM?
Callum.
Or Callum.
Was it Ben Fordham?
Callum, it was Ben Fordham.
Well done.
Question two.
Think about it.
In what episode did Jenna move from the producer's pit into the studio?
Steph.
Charles.
Okay, let's go with Steph first.
It was episode 10.
Okay, write that down because it's closest to.
This is like the jelly bean jar.
Thank you, Steph.
Who was next?
I think Liam was next.
We'll go with you, Leon.
Me.
No, it was Liam.
Oh, Liam.
Sorry, Liam.
Very similar names.
Is that going to get confusing?
I don't know.
I think it was episode five. Got it. Episode five. Sorry, Liam. Very similar names. Is that going to get confusing? I don't know. I think it was episode five.
Got it.
Five.
Write down five.
By the way, yes, Liam and Leon are going to get confusing.
So should we name one of you Fuckface?
Yeah.
I think that's only fair.
Good point.
Hands up.
Who wants to be Fuckface?
Leon's hand is so high in the sky right now.
It's Leon.
Congratulations, Leon.
Or should we say fuck face?
Callum, give us a number.
Ooh, episode 11.
Episode 11, nice.
Let's go with Charles now.
Episode 8.
All right, the answer.
You're all wrong.
Jenna moved into the producer's pit in episode 12.
The closest there, I believe, is...
Callum.
Another Callum.
Two points.
Well done, Callum.
Thank you, thank you.
I work hard.
If my memory serves me correctly,
the reason that Jenna was moved into the studio in that episode
was because Churi was running late and I got fucked off,
so I was like, let's start without him.
Yeah, that is what happened.
I remember that came in and you didn't start the episode again.
I had to jump in halfway through.
Like a stray tabby cat coming home after a couple dates out.
Just not back to normal.
All right, question three.
Speaking of cats, what was the name of Jenna's first deaf cat?
Callum.
Wow.
Callum, yeah.
Dear Crumpet.
I miss him. Dear Crumpet is correct. Wow. Callum, yeah. Dear Crumpet. I miss him.
Dear Crumpet is correct.
Wow.
Little Crumpy.
Yeah, wow.
Question four.
My grandmother, most commonly referred to on the show as Alma,
which is Dutch for grandmother, Alma won which modelling title in 1939?
Fuckface.
Oh, that's fuckface, yes.
Go for it, fuckface.
Was it Miss Denmark?
Miss Denmark is close So close
Incorrect
Liam
Liam
Was it Miss Sweden?
Miss Sweden also
Incorrect
It was Miss Dubbo
No that was mine Callum Oh Call, it was not Miss Dubbo.
No, that was mine.
Callum.
Oh, Callum, yeah.
Was it Miss New Holland?
Oh, my God, it was Miss New Holland.
How did he know this? This is Idjim trivia.
I didn't even know that, to be fair.
Question five, one of the hardest questions.
Get ready to buzz in quickly with your names.
Which Mitch is famous with a radio show?
Liam Charles.
Oh, I heard
Charles first. I didn't even say
my name. Oh, Charles is correct!
The answer is
Churi. Are we still
on round one? Yes.
How many fucking questions are
there? There's many.
I'll pump through them.
I'll pump through them.
Name one gift the two Mitches gave Jenna for her latest birthday.
Steph.
Steph, go for it.
Go on, Steph.
Oh, God.
Her latest birthday?
Her latest birthday.
Was it the killer cookies?
The killer cookies?
No, it wasn't.
It was her first birthday.
Fuckface.
Can't take fuckface seriously.
Yes.
What was yours?
It was the fake message from Brie Larson.
Oh, like message.
I'll give it to you.
I'll give it to you.
It was the fake signed Captain Marvel film.
Question seven.
Who has guest hosted the show more times?
Abby Chatfield.
Oh, we haven't given you the option, Steph.
Shut up.
Well, I've already given it to her.
It was Nat Penfold.
Nat Penfold is correct.
Yes!
Hey.
Well done.
She didn't even need the awe.
She knew.
She's done three episodes.
Abby has guest hosted two.
All right.
Now, Jenna, can you give us a score update?
Okay.
We have got Liam on zero.
Oh, dear.
Steph on one.
Leon, also known as Fuckface, on one.
Callum on four.
And Charles on one.
Okay.
Interesting. See, interesting.
See, Jenna, I don't know if you're familiar with this,
but usually you do it in order.
Yeah.
From, like, winners to losers.
It was all over the shop.
Let's continue on moving along now.
Question eight.
This one is a challenge.
First person to shout out the answer and the best answer gets a point.
Reset the drone for dramatic effect.
Name!
A fake town.
Go.
Calum.
Oh, Charles.
Oh, ooh.
Hey, Mitch, was it meant to be they invent their own town name
or they name one that you've invented in the past?
Oh, interesting.
I'd like to test our moderator to name their own town name,
a brand new one.
Liam.
Liam is in next.
Go, Liam.
Tristle Truffleteen.
Oh, Tristle Truffleteen.
Famously next door to Tristleton.
Yes.
After Tristleton had the Christmas fire.
Yes. That Tristleton had the Christmas fire. Yes.
That is traumatic.
They said we better make a second in case it burns,
fully burns down.
And it didn't.
But now there is the second next to Tristleton.
It's very confusing for roadmaps.
It's next to Lake Boggarbaradine.
Yes.
The COVID hotspot.
The COVID hotspot.
Yes, they have got 20 cases. 20 cases. Yes. This is hotspot. The COVID hotspot. Yes, they have got 20 cases.
20 cases.
Yes.
This is so fucking stupid.
I'm sorry.
Well done.
Well done.
I'm very impressed.
That brings us, guys, to the end of the first round.
Woo-hoo!
Let's get a score update, Jenna, and please start from bottom to top.
Okay, so we've got four people with one point.
All right, that's fine.
Callum automatically progresses.
Who has two?
No, they all have one.
Okay, that's fine.
We'll just do a rapid fire round.
They're all just going to have to carry on to round two, aren't they?
Oh, my God.
Makes sense.
Thank God. This is a fucking
disaster. This is horrendous.
Alright, well everyone's carrying on.
There we go. There's going to be five mods at the
end of this. This is ridiculous.
Moving on. Round two.
As our moderator, you'll need to have
a very, very tight
grasp on social media
and how it works. That's why
social media knowledge is round two.
Let's begin.
Question number one, your name is your buzzer.
What is the difference between a Facebook page and a Facebook group?
Steph.
How long?
Steph, go on.
A Facebook group is more secret, more secure.
You have to ask permission to join in.
Yeah.
A Facebook page, anyone can view it.
Correct.
Correct.
Well done.
Well done.
Point to Steph.
She climbs to victory.
Question two, let's move on promptly and swiftly.
Instagram recently introduced a new feature that allows you to give
monetary support during Instagram blogs.
Liam.
Oh.
Oh, Liam, without the rest of the question, what's the answer?
I feel confident. You cocky bitch. Is it badges the question, what's the answer? I feel confident.
You cocky bitch.
Is it badges?
No, it's swipe up.
No, it's badges, yes.
Well done.
Well done, Liam, moving forward.
Question three.
If an Endurant Idiot member contacted you privately and said,
why did you remove my post saying that men deserve to be paid more than women?
What would your answer be?
Steph.
Liam.
Steph.
Steph.
Okay, go Steph.
Can I swear?
Yeah.
Yeah, go for it.
I would say get fucked, cunt.
You're not in the right Facebook page.
I like that.
Yeah, that's a point.
I would allow that.
I rate that.
That's good.
Well done.
Question four.
I rate that.
That's good.
Well done.
Question four.
What is the number one reason that you should always refuse someone's request to join Endurant Idiots?
Liam.
Charles.
Liam.
Liam.
If they get the questions wrong.
No, but there's four questions.
We need the number one bit.
There's four questions.
Is he correct, Liam?
We'll go with Charles.
If they do not know what the secret segment at the end of the podcast is called.
Correct.
What secret segment?
Yeah.
Steph?
No, that wasn't a question.
I'm just saying we don't have a secret segment.
We don't have a secret segment. It's secret.
Yeah, it wasn't.
Mitch is throwing wild cards.
All right.
Let's move on to question number five.
On what social media platform does Coombs have more followers than Ture?
Steph.
Steph.
It's TikTok.
Well.
Oh.
Incorrect.
Fuckface.
We'll go with fuckface.
Instagram.
Well, I mean.
Liam.
No, Charles got in first.
We want an overarching answer. Charles. YouTube. Well, I mean... Liam? Charles got in first. We want an overarching answer.
Charles?
YouTube.
Well, yes, but technically we want...
Liam?
Liam?
Liam?
Liam?
Is it Facebook?
I mean, yes, it is.
Thanks for rubbing it in.
We didn't really need to go over all of them.
Does anyone have...
You should have made this multiple choice and said all of the above.
That's the answer, is it not?
Fucking all of them.
None of you get the point.
No, I have a very big four square presence.
You have a few fans on LinkedIn, don't you?
I've got a good amount of connections on LinkedIn.
Fucking hell.
All right, well, that ends the second round.
Jenna, let's get a score update.
So now three people get removed, Jenna.
Well, we've got a problem.
Oh. Just read it to us.
Read us the scores and we can decide. Okay, I'll go
from
the winner to the losers. Okay.
With four points
Callum.
Callum is through to the third round.
Correct.
Next.
With three points.
Steph.
Steph.
And this is where the problem lies.
Yep.
With two points, there's two people.
Who do we have?
Liam and Charles.
Sorry, fuckface.
Well, that brings us to the awkward part of the ceremony.
Fuckface, please state your presence.
I had so much faith in you.
Please state your presence.
I was rooting for you.
You're the qualified one.
And fuckface, officially in accordance with the moderator game's rules.
Sorry, Tom. Sorry, tunnel.
Oh, my God, he's dead.
He's been removed.
And Zoom gives me the option to report him, and I have.
I want to be fully transparent there.
I have.
I have.
Now, Mitchell, it's up to you here as the hosts of the show, you and I.
Okay, well, I am a host of the show, but just so you know,
I've got no idea what the fuck's going on in this whole segment.
So, like, what do you want me to do?
Do we sorry tunnel Liam and Charles,
or do we give them a lightning round chance to progress to the final round?
Are Liam and Charles tied?
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, fuck them off.
Oh, no!
Okay, guys, you. Oh, no!
Anyway, guys, you heard it, but I'm sorry.
That's how it works.
Sorry.
Sorry, Tunnel.
Sorry, Tunnel.
Charles, you're out.
No!
So sorry, Charles.
He's been removed.
And that leaves us with our final two. You're reporting them as well?
Yeah, they've both been reported.
And we have Steph and Callum.
Congratulations, our two victors, Peter and Katniss.
Katniss.
What?
It's a Hunger Games reference.
Oh, right.
Here we stand with the final round looming in front,
which we will now begin.
In order to win the role of the Is It Just Me group moderator,
you must, for next week's show, you have a week to do so book us a guest to appear on the program
in seven days time best guest wins you become the moderator good luck do you accept your challenge
absolutely i accept Challenge. Absolutely. I accept. And the deal is done.
Oh, my God, Mitchell.
This is just you being lazy.
You're our guest booker and you're palming it off to our listeners.
Yeah, I'm out of probation now.
Maybe I can make these decisions.
I'm so excited.
So that's the end of the games.
Guys, you have.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hang on, hang on.
Sorry.
I'm just wondering.
This feels unfair. When you say guest, do you mean celebrity? Listen. We, wait, wait. Hang on. Hang on. Sorry. I'm just wondering. This feels unfair.
When you say guest, do you mean celebrity?
Listen, we're a fun show.
Some would say a comedy podcast.
Some.
Some.
Make us laugh.
Entertain us.
It could be your local green grocer.
It could be Ellen DeGeneres.
Think about it and impress us.
And the winner, you must have your guest on.
Zoom will work.
Phone will work.
We're not picky.
And we will decide using our judgment whose guest was best.
And you will then become the IJM moderator.
You will get full access for 12 months and a commemorative season three mug.
Awesome.
I accept this challenge.
Wow.
How are we feeling?
Callum and Steph, how do we feel?
I'm confident.
Yeah, I'm confident.
Look, I mean, all the best to Steph,
but I do know that she is going to lose, unfortunately.
Oh, confidence.
Confidence is key.
Imagine if Steph was Shania Twain's niece and she's like,
I'll just get Shania on.
No.
Dinos. D. Dido's.
Dido's daughter.
I am related to Ned Kelly.
He's long gone, I think you'll find.
Does that count?
Because I think Jenna knew him in a past life.
I did.
We dated for a bit.
A bit embarrassing.
No friends in the show.
No friends in the show.
You dated Ned Kelly?
Yes.
You were the one that made him the.
You dated my uncle.
No, Jenna was the one that made him the, you made him the bucket hat,
the helmet, didn't you?
I did, handmade.
So that was you that made it, Jenna?
Yes.
Got it.
I know now.
Hey, Jenna.
Yes.
Did Ned Kelly, the bushranger, range your bush?
Oh, please.
We don't talk about that.
Ned was very conservative.
I mean, I've heard some stories.
Was Ned cut or uncut?
Oh, please no.
We'll find out.
Anyway, you guys, book us a guest and we'll chat to you again next week.
I've got that.
Well done, guys.
Well done.
Thank you for playing.
You will not be sorry, Tunneled.
You can leave at your own leisure and we will move on with the show.
You will not be reported.
I just want the gunshot sound.
Just kill me off. Okay. Goodbye. Goodbye. Leave it your own, Alicia, and we will move on with the show. I just want the gunshot sound.
Just kill me off.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
They've both been eliminated.
Well done.
Wow, wasn't that thrilling, Mitchell?
That was fun.
That was ridiculous.
Can I just say, and I say this with all due respect,
our listeners are fucking dumb?
Because why are they battling for this prize?
It's not a prize.
It's basically like a task.
You do realise that we're exploiting them.
Like social media moderators are paid jobs and they're here battling it to do it for free.
Like are they fucking stupid?
Why do they want this?
You know, we've all been there.
I did the same at the Easter show, unpaid.
Worked my backside off.
That's all I've got to say.
The moderator games may not be ethical, but they are fair.
They are still here lingering,
so we should say goodbye. Goodbye, guys.
Goodbye. Congratulations.
Well done. Love you all.
They're gone. Bye.
I thought you hung up on them
before I called them all fucking stupid.
Oh, no.
Alright, Mitchell,
are you all good? We'll see you next week.
Yeah.
Just making sure.
I'm kind of required.
Yeah, you are.
Good point.
We do need you, I guess.
I guess.
We are a couple of Mitches.
I mean, if you want to give me the week off, just let me know if I'm getting too much.
No, no, no, you're not.
No, no.
In fact, we need more.
Come on.
All right, we should get out of here. Congratulations fact, we need more. More. All right.
We should get out of here.
Congratulations to those who competed in the game.
Well done.
We'll continue next week.
Thank you for listening to Overget Leaves five-star review.
Potentially win yourself a mug.
It keeps us going and supports us, which we adore.
And we'll see you next week for 82.
We'll catch you then, guys.
It's going to be a big week.
See ya.
See ya.
Bye.
Is it just me?
A podcast by a couple of Mitches
Make sure you've hit follow
On your podcast app Welcome to ADD Brief.
This is our secret segment on the end.
Most people, ideally, aren't here anymore,
but if you're still here that's fine you've discovered
the secret you're welcome to stay correct this is the after party of the year 10 formal that you
were invited to but you could just go home and no one will judge you and no one will care because
the after party could be great it could be life-changing but it also could be the time that
you see your best friend taylor lindy get fingered behind the bush. It also says a lot about you, whether you decide to stay or go, because if you decide
to leave, it means that you're like, nah, I've had enough.
But if you want to be here for the filthy shit and all the fun stuff, hey, welcome to
A to D Break.
Oh, yeah.
I've noticed that you're leaving the pause to be longer and longer every week.
I was listening the other day and got to the end.
I'm like, fuck, is there anything else to watch?
I did it and I'm not sure what's coming up.
How long is the break?
I don't know.
I never time it.
I just kind of look on the screen where you can see the audio waves.
I'm like, yeah, there's a bit of silence.
Might just do 10 minutes one day to take the piss.
Oh, my God.
We'll go off air.
Backup track.
At the radio station, we have a backup track if we go off air
and it just boots in to a random song.
It's so horrific.
How much silence is required for the backup tape to kick in?
Seven seconds.
Seven?
That's all?
Yep.
It's more on WSFM.
Is it?
Yep.
No, it's seven seconds at Kiss and I know the exact song
that starts it ready.
So off air.
Oh, really?
It just goes into Camilla Cabello.
Havana.
Well, WSFM's, theirs is Solid Rock by Goanna.
Solid Rock by Goanna?
What's that?
Yes.
As soon as you hear this opening.
Wait.
And you know that.
You know it's off air.
So you know.
And sometimes.
You're going to find it, Mitch.
Sometimes it repeats like three times.
So when you know, when you hear this.
Yep.
Oh.
Mm hmm.
We're off air.
Shit. Amanda's had a stroke.hmm. We're off air. Shit!
Amanda's had a stroke!
Yep.
We're off air.
This song's so triggering.
What a choice.
Maybe we should have a backup tape for our podcast,
but instead of us being off air, because that doesn't really happen,
we're a podcast, it can just be when I'm sick of what you're talking about.
Kind of like the Oscars music.
Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, we can just play this.'m sick of what you're talking about. Kind of like the Oscars music. Oh, yes.
Oh, yeah, we can just play this.
That's how.
Move along.
Don't even know.
Giggling.
Why don't we just throw to the traffic?
I love that.
If it's boring, we just.
WSFM time saver traffic.
Imagine if I did that with Jonesy and Amanda last week.
Oh, my God.
And then I was railed by my husband on my wedding.
Oh.
Actually, with all due respect to Jonesy, the lovely man,
but there are a couple of stories that could have been trapped.
And then Dolly Parton sent the song to Milk McGee,
and Milk McGee turned it down because he wanted to do the hit song, Buy the River, Sugar Plum.
And then it was pitched to Mick Jagger who fell over that week
so couldn't do this.
So shut up!
WSFN time-saver traffic.
I was looking at your face when you were saying those stories
and I was like, he's not interested.
Do you know what I noticed last week when Jonesy and Amanda were on the show
and I found it so funny.
Just Amanda Keller being so impressed with the concept of Zoom.
She was like, we spoke to Dolly Parton and we could see her.
It was a Zoom.
I was like, yeah.
Yeah, that's been around for a while.
It sounded so new to her.
Amanda Keller is so emotive.
And as soon as you started talking about your story with that song, your pick, Mitch, she then instantly had a story ready to her. Amanda Keller is so emotive and as soon as you started talking about your story with that song, your pick
Mitch, she then instantly had a
story ready to go. That woman
is so emotionally intelligent.
Being in the same room as her, she sucks
all the energy because she's just so
enigmatic.
I didn't feel sucked by Amanda
one bit. I mean, speak for yourself.
Would have loved to have been sucked. I'm sucked
by her daily. Oh,
what a show.
Mitch and I were only planning yesterday. We were like,
what are we going to do? Planning on the phone. We knew we had
the moderator games. We had too fucking
much. What a show.
Yeah, that always happens. We think,
oh, we didn't have enough and then we just keep banging on.
It was actually,
we were talking about, when are we going to record this week?
I'm like, do you want to do tomorrow? And I was like, yeah, cool. Sounds good. So about when are we going to record this week i'm like do you want to do tomorrow and i was like yeah cool sounds good so um what are we doing yeah i was like oh shit
forget that we have to do that shit 18 can you believe we've done 81 shows that's crazy can't
believe it it doesn't feel like many because 81 days is like you know only two two and a bit
months but 81 weeks?
And I feel like we've left it too late in the year to like end season three and then start season four.
So if anything, do you reckon we just take a couple of weeks off before Christmas and
then we come back for a bit and then finish?
Yeah, Jenna and Mitch and I were talking about that.
We don't know when to end.
Last week's episode, we should have ended on because it was so good.
It was Hayden, it was Amanda and Jonesy.
Jenna was silent.
Jenna was silent.
How dare you.
And it was 80.
It was a clean number.
Then we could have come back for season four and done 20 episodes
and gotten to 100.
What's the most chaotic number we could end season three on?
Oh, 87.
Oh, 87's a good number.
Yeah, that's a shit number.
No, it's not.
It's a good number.
Imagine dying at 87. Like, fuck, you're better off dead at 20. I number. Yeah, that's a shit number. No, it's not. It's a good number. Imagine dying at 87.
Like, fuck, you're better off dead at 20.
I did.
Sorry, Drew, you've been there.
I did.
87's gross.
Or even 88.
No, that's got to be nice.
I think 89.
Listen, guys, what a great, great show.
Yes.
Yeah.
Great.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When do you reckon I'm going to be able to see you guys again it's been
like a month now and it's probably gonna be another month it has been so long i don't think
sydney's getting out of lockdown until we hit those the vaccination targets yeah which is kind
of scary when you think about it so we have now essentially in new south wales decided that zero
cases zero daily cases isn't attainable.
And we are now just going to live with COVID.
And once we hit 80% vax, which is potentially end of October, early November, everyone's
just going to go into society.
And if you're not vaxed, that's your decision.
You'll probably get it and you could die.
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's putting the onus back on everyone else because everyone's mad now that, oh,
the government are controlling us.
And it's like, well, no, they're not anymore.
It's on you, bitch.
Get the jab or see ya.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
But we can't say that.
Every other country's done that.
Like I saw earlier on Twitter, Lady Gaga tweeting something about her Las Vegas residency coming
back this year.
And I was like, doesn't America still have many, many deaths a day?
And here we are in lockdown.
Like, what?
And you're doing your stupid jazz and piano on the fucking stage in Vegas.
Like, what?
Yeah.
Everything's back to normal.
They've just reopened.
The UK's done it too.
Yeah.
They were like, ah, fuck it.
I know people in the UK who are going on holidays to Portugal and all that.
Oh, I agree.
But like, we have been given ample choice to get vaccinated.
You two are booked in.
So get fucking vaxxed.
And if you're anti-vaxxed, then roll the dice and potentially die
and then see how much of a fucking, you know, just a cold it is.
And stop saying that we're forcing you to get vaccinated.
Nobody's forcing you.
Ridiculous.
It's just something that society, like, we need as a community. Mitch, didn't you lose
a follower this week because you posted something about
Vax? Yes, I posted
a song parody on Instagram
and it was through Total Eclipse of the
Heart and I said, what was
the last lyric?
My hair's a fucking
mess. Zoom
trivia makes me feel dumb.
I was like, what rhymes with dumb?
Anti-vaxxers are scum.
Yeah.
And someone was like, anti-vaxxers are not scum.
That's a very inappropriate comment from you.
I used to like you and I was like, get out of my face, mutt.
I was like, you've got sick kids at home.
You're anti-vaxxer fuckwit.
Yes.
I agree.
A hundred percent.
Get that.
Educate yourselves.
And please, if you're listening to this and you're not yet convinced,
read the fucking medical journals.
And don't get your advice off some random Facebook group.
Correct.
Like, just don't.
Imagine if people were taking their life advice from this show.
Oh, God.
Christ.
You'd be dead in a week.
You would.
Less than that.
You'd have people just, like, sleeping in coffins for fun. Ridiculous. Yeah. Oh, God. Christ! You'd be dead in a week! You would! Less than that. You'd have people just, like,
sleeping in coffins for fun.
Ridiculous. Yes!
Kicking dogs in shit pits.
No one kicked my dog
into the septic tank.
I don't know about that.
It was an accident.
No, I have a theory that my brother's cat, Max,
murdered the dog, John, but... What?
You think the cat killed it and then dragged its corpse?
No, there was no dragging.
The cat would have just pushed him into the open septic tank
and let him drown.
Oh, my God.
You know, I don't know how.
Why would the cat?
You're inventing this story again.
There was no dragging of the corpse.
Dad found it in the septic tank just kind of stewing in our fucking faces.
I find it more likely that this cat would have bitten its neck
and then dragged it into the ship pit to hide the crime
rather than it's picking its paw up and pushing it in.
We didn't fingerprint the dead dog.
It's fine.
The cat wasn't going to get caught.
You wouldn't need it.
I can't wait for the day that you eventually come visit
my hometown, Bodengay, and I will show you the very septic tank.
Oh, my God.
Let's do a show from the septic tank.
From the septic tank.
And I'll conduct a full investigation.
I'll find out who killed David.
John.
John.
Is the cat still alive?
Unfortunately, I can't stand that cat.
Still?
Let's do it. Yeah, still.
What about how the dog came through to me via Mitchell Coombs'
authority?
Yeah, why have we had two or one?
Why have we had sidekicks on the show and each of them get to me
and go, nah, barren wasteland of nothingness.
I've got nothing from you.
I see an iceberg and I can't penetrate it.
Like, what?
I'm very lovely and Gregorius.
Yeah, like they get oddly specific about Jenna and I.
Like, Jenna, you got a bill today from the good guys.
You owe them.
Mitchell, nothing.
And then they fucking get, oh, I'm getting something
through four sheets of double glazed window glass.
Sam, your dad was a penis.
Like, what?
I forgot about that.
Like, no.
I hate it.
I'm getting something.
Deb Clay in the Kiss newsroom.
It's her birthday tomorrow and she'll get a pair of shoes.
You're like Bella on Twilight.
You're the only person whose thoughts they can't read.
What happens to her in the end?
She gets immortalised after being bitten by her husband, who was a vampire.
So, you know, there's that.
I've never seen the Twilight franchise, to be honest.
Yeah, no, don't rush off.
What did Hayden and I re-watch the other night?
The Scream movies. God, they're good.
I've never seen that.
They're really good. They're not
scary. It's like cheap thriller.
It's a bit dumb, but I loved it. I think it's
brilliant. Have either of you started watching
Nine Perfect Strangers yet? No.
Because I really want to, but I'm hooked on Wentworth, so
I'm busy. Nine Perfect Strangers.
Oh, yes, I'm up to date on that. I love Wentworth, so I'm busy. Nine Perfect Strangers. Oh, yes, I'm up today.
I love Wentworth.
I can't wait for The Freak to return, but I have not seen Nine Perfect Strangers.
I just finished The White Lotus and adored it.
Oh, you liked it?
Didn't I recommend that to you?
Yeah, you did, but I had also heard the theme music on TikTok,
and it entranced me.
I'm like, God, I feel like I have to watch this now.
Unpopular opinion.
Everyone online has been saying how iconic the White Lotus theme song is, trance to me i'm like god i feel like i have to watch this now unpopular opinion everyone
online has been saying how iconic the white lotus theme song is but i found it so irritating
like i couldn't stand it that was my least favorite part of the show because it wasn't
just at the start the opening credits see if you can find it yeah they play it in pivotal
scenes that are just someone i don't know forget their towel at the beach and then it would be like.
It was the sweeper as well.
Yeah.
It's kind of creepy.
Like it makes me want to kill someone.
I reckon I could do an impression of it.
You ready?
Okay, go.
Oh my God.
You know the weird part about this, Mitch?
Oh, this part.
It's like breathing.
Ready?
Yeah.
It sounds like Jenna when we, when we scald her, she's like breathing, ready? Yeah. It sounds like Jenna when we scold her.
She's like...
Sounds like Dot while the phone's ringing.
Yeah.
Oh, since she was down my spine.
You know, I didn't realise there were six episodes.
I thought there'd be nine.
So I won't spoil it, but when that horrific moment happens
in the very final episode, I'm like,
oh, I can't wait to see how this pans out.
Final episode.
I had no idea.
I'm like, oh, they're all going home.
This will be weird.
Are we going to follow their journey when they get back to their houses
and get out of the cabs?
No, the show is done.
I was actually thinking about that the other day.
It's quite smart to make a TV show set in a location.
So like the White Lotus, if one of the cast members says,
I'm not coming back, then it's fine. You just get new people in the hotel. Same with Wentworth.
If one of the cast mates is like, I'm not coming back, whatever, get new prisoners. It's fine.
But shows like McLeod's Daughters, when one of the daughters leaves, it's like, what's the point
of this show anymore if there's no fucking McLeod's Daughters? They start trotting out McLeod's love childs and McLeod's long lost cousins. Like it's like, what's the point of this show anymore if there's no fucking McLeod's daughters? They start trotting out McLeod's
love childs and McLeod's long lost
cousins. Like, it's no good.
Yeah, I tend to agree with you.
Gee, I really killed that conversation there, didn't I?
Sorry, I just looked at the time and I was
listening to you. It was a great story. I haven't seen
the show, but I really want to. Oh, you'll love it.
Because I heard about... Wentworth or White Lotus?
White Lotus. I love Wentworth. Wentworth
great. My entire family loves
Wentworth and The Freak. So good. Oh my god. Back
gone. Back gone. She's back. She's dead. She's alive.
Jesus Christ. Do you remember when we were
at the Logies a couple of years ago Mitch and
I didn't have Foxtel at the time
and Wentworth kept being
mentioned like because they were up for awards. They were winning
awards and I was like what the fuck is
this show? I've never heard of it. Why is an offspring winning?
Yeah, I got in the lift with The Freak. It was
brilliant. Really?
I met the cast. I think it was
like the season one or two cast.
Oh, because that's when you were sentenced to prison.
Yes, so it was real life and they wanted
some advice. Wow. What a story.
Yeah. Alright, let's get out of here.
Thank you for partaking in 81.
What a great show. Thank
you to those who will be returning next week.
I'm very excited to see what guests are brought
on. Yeah, who will it be?
Yes, I can't wait to see
if our exploitation
of our listeners pays off.
Mystery guests. When has it not?
Thank you for listening. We will
see you guys next week. Have a great week. Stay safe.
Get vaxxed if you can and we'll see you for 82. Catch you then, guys. Thanks for listening. We will see you guys next week. Have a great week. Stay safe. Get vaxxed if you can.
And we'll see you for 82.
Catch you then, guys.
Thanks for listening. Bye.
We hope this podcast makes you feel.
Let's all say it together.
Two percent.
At least.
At least.
Two percent better today.
All right.
Hooroo. Have a great week. Ta-ta. Chookers. Chookers. We'll see you All right. Hooroo.
Have a great week.
Ta-ta.
Chookies.
Chookies.
We'll see you next week.
Bye-bye.
Wait, no.
Chookies is when you're saying good luck on the new job.
That doesn't work.
Just ta-da.
Ta-da.
Hooroo.
Ta-da.
All right.
Hooroo.
Ta-da.
Bye.
See you guys.
Bye.
Bye-bye.
Is it just me?
A podcast by a couple of Mitches.
Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.