Is It Just Me? - #82: Mitch & Mitch FanFic 👀

Episode Date: September 6, 2021

Just for a change, Coombs wasn't the grumpy one this week xIn this episode:Calling out Churi (6:48)Miss travelling? We've found the next best thing: driveandlisten.herokuapp.com (9:00)The ‘fizzy drink’ guy from TikTok (17:58)This week’s reviews… And Churi chucks a tantrum (21:00)A filthy FanFic about Churi & Coombs fucking (29:00)2 surprise guests join us for the MODERATOR GAMES finale! (36:50)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (58:04)Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Television legend Kerri-Ann Kennelly fell several metres from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pippet. She had it coming. Some things make more sense than others. Ring Pike's Nurseries. What nursery? Pike's P-Y-K-E-S. P-Y-A.

K as in kill. P-Y-A. K as in kill. P-Y-E. K! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time. This is Is It Just Me?

Hosted by a couple of Mitches. What about me? Don't forget Chin-O. Who? Now, here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coombs. Oh, for episode 82, did someone say who? Hello. Who's that?

Oh, it's Jenna. Hi, our third wheel is here. Hello. G'day, Jenna. Now, Jenna, can I ask? Yes. Are you okay? You know, it's been a bit tough lately, but, you know, I'm coping.

Good, Jenna. Thank you for asking. It's Are You Okay Day this week, guys. Don't forget to check in on your loved ones. How unfortunate that that's fallen during a lockdown. Like on Thursday, I think it's Thursday, isn't it? Google that, Jenna. Isn't it unfortunate that on Thursday when everyone says, are you okay,

you'll just hear this communal nut across Australia while we're in lockdown. I wonder if they had a meeting to reschedule it. They're like, can we just bump it this year? Because the answer will be an overwhelming no. It's Thursday. Thursday. What date? Ninth.

Ninth. I thought so, yeah. What's the premise of it? You were just meant to ask a family member or a loved one, are you okay? Yes, because a conversation can save a life, they say. You never know what people are bottling up, you know. Do you have to spell it the way that they spell it, or are you allowed to fully grammatically correctly spell it?

I mean, you don't even have to use those words. You can say, you're right, darling. And I think this year they're really emphasising the fact that, are you really okay? So instead of just being like, are you okay? Oh, yep. Yep. I'm fine. No. Are you really okay? In 10 years, it'll be fucking tell me. Oh, that was my cue. Jenna, are you really okay? Oh, thank you. Like I said, it's hard, but I'm getting there. Great. It is tough, isn't it? I think everyone's feeling like that at the moment. Even my mum and dad mentioned mental health on the phone the other day to me,

and I'm like, oh, my God. I mean, they're in there. My dad just turned 60. My mum's 55. Mental health isn't something that they register as an actual problem, and for them to bring it up, I mean, it's hitting the boomers, guys. I know. My mum's the same because historically i am quite a loon and so she actually doesn't believe me

when i tell her i'm coping okay this lockdown like last lockdown by comparison i feel like i've got my head screwed on pretty well like i'm coping all right don't get me wrong i'd love to smash a fucking schnitty and a schooner at the pub with me mates right now but i'm okay you know i'm saying and she's like are you sure oh i'm surprised i thought you'd be struggling i'm like okay thank you just assuming you to be nuts i feel okay i'm a bit sad that my birthday's a month away and i last year i had the the lockdown limit you guys were there we could have 10 people over. That was fun. It was nice.

So I had a birthday thing last year, I guess, but it wasn't like I wanted to do it at my family home in the Shire and this year I'll be able to do nothing. Although the new picnic law will be out. It's like Paddington Bears fucking running the country. The new picnic rule is in place. Honey pots allowed. No bears or bees. It's not like a picnic is much of a character dangle anyway.

Like, oh, yeah, I'm going to rush off and get the jab so I can have a picnic with five mates. Like, come on. Yeah, I know. Once you fully jab, I don't know, I want to be fucked off my face, blacked out on the poof-tooth bathroom floor. You know what I'm saying? I feel like that's a fair reward.

If Gladys Berejiklian offered everyone a double black per jab that they got, there would be lines down the street. A pack of m****** jab in the arm, Siggy's in hand, here's a Bic lighter, off you go. We'd get to the 70% target immediately. Oh, my God, like that. Mitch, I just realised I'm going to have to beep out what you just said. You're not supposed to mention cigarette brands.

Like, you can say cigarettes, but you can't say their brand name. Is that right, Sam? Sam's here. Yeah, no, you can't say that. That's the second time I've done that. I did that in the Sophie Monk interview as well, remember? Yeah. It's just because it's funnier when you say brands.

It is. You can't say a pack of cigarettes, but it's so much funnier when the audience member can picture the exact thing that I'm talking about. I just need to do that for things that won't kill you. There is something funny about mentioning brand names. Like instead of saying, oh, open the screen door, you say, oh, just knock on the crimsafe. Yeah.

100%. 100%. But you can't do that with darts, unfortunately. No, I slipped over on some cereal in aisle three at Coles. No. But I slipped over on a bag of open mini-wheats in aisle three. Hilarious. Hilarious. Hilarious.

Because you can picture the shredded wheat everywhere. Everywhere. A Granny Smith a day keeps the doctor away. Yes. That's exactly right. I choked on a rainbow paddle pop stick. Jenna, again, now we're going to have to ask if you're okay. Again, after that comment.

Anyway, Jenna, you are very excited for this, as am I, as are you, Mitchell, because today we conclude the first annual Moderator Games, which is an initiative brought on by IJM HR. As you know, our company has expanded and our HR team said, let's include the fans of the Facebook group. So this is what we've done. We've opened it up. We have two listeners, enduring idiots coming on the show,

Callum and it's Hannah, isn't it? Steph. Steph. Steph is coming on. And they were tasked last week to bring a guest each onto the show. The most impressive will be granted the role as moderator on our Facebook group. I'm kind of nervous for them, Mitch. Yeah.

I mean, this is a part two, guys. So if you didn't listen to episode 81, you're going to have to do so. Another thing that happened last week is we were talking about fanfics and we challenged people listening to write in fanfiction about us, which is basically just like Mitch and Mitch erotica. Yeah. And I've got something. I'll play it to you later, okay? Hope it's not an erection. No.

God, no. Good. I'm horrified to think what it will say. I've got something hidden off camera and it's long. We'll do it later. Now, before we get into our is it just me's for the week, as you know, we bring one each. I want to double check, Mitch, that you have not doubled up

on is it just me's again. Oh, God. Because one of our darling listeners pointed out that last week when you were banging on about trolleys, that was not the first time you'd done so. You'd reused an old idjim. Yeah, and the weird thing about that was, because I found out midweek that that happened too. I got so many fucking messages.

You're all narcs. You could have let it slip by. You know how Mitchell loves to pay attention to those things. You could have let me have it, but no. But I didn't notice. Isn't that weird? I just have no recollection of you ever doing an idjim about trolleys. Probably because it was so unremarkable, and yet you felt the need to bring it up again. Anyway, if anyone missed it, this was last

week, Mitch banging on about trolleys. Are the baby shopping trolleys better than the full adult shopping trolleys? Absolutely. They've got a flag. No, not the baby ones. They've got like the medium-sized mid-tier trolley. They've got like the medium-sized mid-tier trolley. So that was last week. And if you rewind to episode 66, it's basically a copy and paste job. Listen to this.

Is it just me or? A half trolley is better than full trolleys. Yep. Yep. Yep. There's no need for the big ones. I passed my driver's test with flying colours and yet I cannot manoeuvre those motherfuckers. The big trolleys are so difficult. Do you want to know the sad thing, though?

That it wasn't even me scrolling up in my IJM notes and rereading it. I'd written it again. Like I'd had this thought all over again. Like an idiot. Yeah, I just thought that you didn't delete it out of your notes, but that was the most interesting thing that happened to you that week. It was a fresh thought, yeah. You haven't got more trolley chat for this week's IJM, do you?

I could go on for days. Oh my God, our Facebook group is full of trolley pics now. I was just about to say the amount of trolley pics I've been sent. What's my wallpaper? I'm not joking. Anyway, that's all I've got on trolleys. I have no more. Welcome to the show.

If it's your first time listening, we bring an idjim each week, apparently sometimes recycled. Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. It's an Is It Just Me? Mitch brings one. I bring one. Yeah, why don't you kick things off, Darlene? What have you got this week?

All right, here we go. Is it just me or? Do you miss travelling? No no do you know what the thought of going on a flight now makes me feel so claustrophobic jenna do you remember when we went on your slutty contigi trip that fucking 23 hour flight to london oh like i i like the concept of traveling that doesn't include the airplane and like and, like, actually getting there. Like, I would love to go back to New York. Yeah. But that plane trip just sounds... The flight to America is a breeze compared to the flight to Europe.

No. Like, that thing. You still have to get off at LA and then get on again. Yeah, you've got to do the stopover and it's annoying. Oh, yeah. I don't mind it. I don't mind it. I miss that.

Like, I would give anything to be on a plane for 18 hours. Really? Oh, I love a plane. Why? I love an Airbus A380. Oh, my God. I adore it. I am the type of person that will download bestseatmap.com

and I will find the best seat and I will pick that seat on the plane and then as I'm walking down with Hayden, I'll go, that's 24C that we originally had. But see legroom is three millimeters cramped from the lorry tray above the head then you've got the lavatory to the right so you'll have a stinky night's sleep but we're in 12b and c like I have done all the research so what's your idea of a good plane seat because I'm always torn do I get the window seat for the view yeah or do I get the aisle seat so that I don't have to crawl over some fat thing who's half asleep on the way to europe mitchell we didn't go to europe

together please don't include me in that story no but isn't that the worst when you need to go to the bathroom you're like i don't want to wake this bitch who is reclined right next to me but i'm loving the view out the window nothing worse than the c, I said it, in front of you before the plane takes off that recline their seat. Oh, I hate it. Like straight away. I know. You're about to get meal service, put your iPad on the little tray in front and it like crushes your front.

Anyway, it's different for me than it is to you, I'm assuming, Mitch, because I'm six foot three and I'm a thicker boy. So I always go the aisle because I can chuck my right leg out. Like my right leg can go into the aisle. Nice. Yeah, that's a good point. Anyway, the reason I say this is because I've made a discovery that has changed the way I operate during the day.

So this is a website called Drive and Listen. My mouse isn't working. Oh, no. Oh, you're trying to bring up the website. Sam, have you got access to the mouse? Mitch is just failing today. He's not in a good mood, everyone. I need to give you to bring up the website? Sam, have you got access to the mouse? Mitch is just failing today. He's not in a good mood, everyone. I need to give you a heads up.

Fuck this. Fuck. I said to Mitch before we started the show, I think you should be honest and tell everyone that you're in a foul mood because it's a nice point of difference. Usually I'm a piece of shit and you're the nice one, but we can switch. It's fine.

My cousin's calling me. Fuck off, cousin. Oh, wait, I'm the nice one today. Aw, just tell them you'll call back later. My cousin's calling me. Fuck off, cousin. Oh, wait, I'm the nice one today. Aw, just tell them you'll call back later. Why is Anna calling me? Hello, darling. Sorry, I know you're at work.

Just write it all in one message. I'm sorry. Put Anna on. All right. Let's call her. Put Anna on. I want to know what's so fucking urgent. Hello, darling.

Hi, I'm recording the podcast. I'm so sorry. I'm just messaging you. Don't worry. It's non-urgent. I'll text you. Hello, darling. Hi, I'm recording the podcast. I'm so sorry. I'm just messaging you. Don't worry. It's non-urgent. I'll text you. Don't worry. Oh, because you called and then you text. Jenna, is he related to Hermione Granger?

I think so. No, no, no. All good. Keep recording. I'll message you and just get back to me whenever you can. Is it about Saturday night? Will you be there? What's on Saturday night?

I sent you the text. No, you didn't. What's on Saturday night? The family trivia night.. No, you didn't. What's on Saturday night? The family trivia night. I haven't had a best fit. What? No. Bullshit.

Chewy's in it as well. Really? Yeah. No. Yeah. Mitchell, Anna's a big fan of you. Can we do this another time? Yeah.

Bye, Anna. Love you, darling. No, not with you. I'm yelling at Mitchell. We can't. No, you can do the podcast. Bye. All right. Sorry, Tunnel. Sorry, not with you. I'm yelling at Mitchell. We can't. No, you can do the podcast. Bye. All right, sorry, Tunnel.

Sorry, Tunnel. Jesus fucking Christ. I didn't know that you had pommy relatives. Yeah, me too. I learn something new every week. No, she's dating my actual cousin's best friend, Chewy, who's Asian. And you invite her to family trivia. Jesus.

Wait, so she's not actually your cousin? No. What? We call her my cousin. Anyway, make the website up. There we go. The website's up. Can you hear that, Mitchell?

Yeah, what is that, your cousin? So that's Radio Pakistan. The website is called Drive and Listen, and it is a live feed of someone driving in every major capital city. What? Webcam on their dash, and then it tunes into their local radio station. So give me a city, Mitch, you want to travel to. A big capital one.

Oh, my God. Hold on. What's the website again? Drive. It's called Drive and Listen. So are you eavesdropping on them or just their radio station? Just their local radio station. Oh, well, that's less exciting.

I thought we were going to hear people bitching in an Uber. Jenna, come over here and have a look. I'm not going to lie. From one radio nerd to another, I do enjoy browsing international radio. Fiji has some fucking great stations. Mitchell, where do you want to go to? Oh, hang on. I've just found it. It's not driveandlisten.com. It's driveandlisten.herokuapp.com. Wow, look at this. Oh, Havana. Mumbai. Yep. Havana.

Let's do Havana. Havana. No, not Melbourne. Here we go. Tuning in. Tuning in. So Jenna and I are sitting here watching REM Rob drive through the main streets of Cuba. Let's all just zone out for a second and pretend we're listening to Cuban radio.

This is CMVF radio. Oh, so you can actually see him? Yeah, we can see the view of his car. Oh, now I get it. So you're listening to the radio, but the webcam is so you can see. Wow, that is fascinating. Yes, it looks like you're driving. Ready, let's zone out.

We're in Havana, Jenna. We're in Havana. Oh, look at that man being mugged on the side of the road. Oh, God, that man's crossing. He almost got hit by a bus. This is brilliant. Do you know what? That is actually incredible because when I was living at home in the country

and I wanted desperately to live in Sydney, I remember distinctly Googling, trying to find some sort of live feed of Sydney so that I could feel that I was there in the flesh. And the only thing I could find was the New South Wales traffic cameras. I was just watching people on the M4 so that I could feel close to Sydney. This is amazing. Let's go to Melbourne and see if they pick up Kiss 101. Yeah. Oh, that's the truck audio. This is him actually driving. Imagine if he could hear us.

We'd just buzz in. G'day, mate. Hi, mate. Oh, my God. It's picked up SBS radio. Is this like an Uber situation where, like, could I sign up as a webcam driver in Sydney? Like, they can just watch my Astra parked under my apartment in lockdown.

I don't know how it works, but Erkem is the creator. He says, I'm creating a site to drive through cities while you listen to their local radio stations. And everyone in the comments is saying thank you. Fox FM has kicked in. Oh, the competition.

Going to Paris now, Mitchell. Oh. Love it. Chante France is loading to Paris now, Mitchell. Oh. Love it. Chante France is loading. Hold on. Apology. Have you pressed simple play?

Oui. Oui. The most Australian accent possible. Oh, that's the French. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Croissant baguette. I can speak French.

Atlanta, to Israel. Oh, wow. All right, we'll end in Mumbai where we've got Red Hot Hindi Radio. Beautiful South Mumbai, Jenna. Look at the air. What's the weather like in South Mumbai, Jenna? Could you find out? Google the weather, Jenna, in Mumbai. Here, you can use this. the air. What's the weather like in South Mumbai, Jenna? Could you find out? Google the weather, Jenna, in Mumbai.

Here, you can use this. Thank you. That's fine. Now, Mitchell, his live Google Maps account is coming up. It's so cool. Oh, so you could assassinate him if you wanted to. Yeah, I know exactly where the bastard is. He's got a 32.

29 degrees. It's hazy. Oh, lovely. This is Selena Gomez's latest. Oh, I love this. Anyway, the point is Hayden and I have been choosing a new city every morning and after watching the 11am presser, we get the COVID cases and we're depressed. We then plug in, drive and listen.

And yesterday we were in Dunedin and we were listening to local... Pardon? Dunedin? What is it? Dunedin. Dunedin sounds like it's near Dubbo. That's nothing flash. Sorry, that was my error.

Anyway. Guys, drive and listen. Get around it. Enjoy it. I'm all about it. Good itch-a, Mitch. You strayed away from trolleys. Thank you.

Yeah, I know. At least I'll be doing this again in about 13 weeks. We'll see if anyone picks up. All right, let's move on. Is it just me or? Is the fizzy drink guy on TikTok not the same anymore? Oh, I know. This is the guy that tried to wean off fizzy drink and he said,

day three of not drinking fizzy drink. Yes. So his name's Rohit and he's done remarkably well. He quit fizzy drink. He kept everyone up to date with his progress on TikTok. He even got a Weight Watchers sponsorship. And he's looking great. He's definitely lost weight. He's been off fizzy drink for a long time. But I've just noticed that he's changed his inflection because he starts his videos the exact same way every time. We all know this, right? You've heard this.

Hello, everyone. No fizzy drink for me today. Today I have completed 80 days of having no fizzy drinks. Right? Good for him. Yeah, of course. Yeah, that was viral. And I just get such a big smile on my face every day

when I see no fizzy drinks for me today. And now he's changed his inflection. Listen to this. All his new videos say this. Hello, everyone. No fizzy drink for me today. Why does he have a stroke

after saying the word fizzy? Oh, yeah. No fizzy drink for me today. It used to be no fizzy drink for me today. Why does he have a stroke after saying the word fizzy? Oh, yeah. No fizzy drink for me today. It used to be no fizzy drink for me today, but now it's no fizzy drink for me today. Maybe it's the lack of sugar and carbonation that's in his body. Maybe he needs the caffeine and sugar to survive. It sounds like he's breaking down. But I hate it.

It's like someone's trying to media train him. Oh, just really be clear with your words. And now he's saying this. Hello, everyone. No fizzy. Drink for me today. I don't like the new inflection. Not a fan.

Wait, play the first one. Play the first one again. This is the OG, the one that we all came to know and love. Hello, everyone. No fizzy. Drink for me today. Yeah. Right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I get you. But now it's. Hello, everyone. No fizzy. Drink for me today. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I get you. But now it's. Hello, everyone. No Fizzy. Drink for me today. Why the pause after Fizzy? I hate it when brands do that.

Imagine if next week we just came back with. Is it just me? Aww. No, that's not how it works. Oh, babe, sorry I missed your call. I've just been really busy with work. No, that's not how it works. Oh, babe, sorry I missed your call. I've just been really busy with work. Episode 80.

Welcome to Is It Just Me? Like, no. Oh, babe, babe, how was your day at Luna Park? Oh, my God, it was so much fun, but I got really dizzy on the mousetrap. What's that show on Disney Channel that you like? Oh, that's the reboot of Lizzie. Maguire. That's a good show.

You're right. Poor Rohit. What? Poor Rohit. That's his name. Oh, I agree. Should we try and get him on? Yeah. And just ask, like, what's with the change of inflection?

You know, I'm a bit iffy about it. Hayden, do you want to get it on? I've got a stiffy. Is it just me? Make sure you leave a review on your podcast app. If you don't, you're a little bitch. Okay, let's read some reviews out. If you can muster up the strength or the passion to leave us a review.

It makes us, this is the happiest part of the podcast. And as you know, I'm in a fucked mood today. Oh, God. Poor darling, what's wrong? Let's pray. I don't know. I just woke up on the side of the bed. You know, I think it stemmed from I had my Omega-3 fish oil tablet

and it dissolved in my mouth a little bit before I ate it and then I had fish oil in my mouth all day. And no matter how many coffees I had, I couldn't get rid of the taste. I mean, I would be pretty fucking pissed off if I started my day with a tuna smoothie as well. Liquid fish? Oh, yuck. I'm going to gag. Pretty fucking pissed off if I started my day with a tuna smoothie as well. Liquid fish. I'm going to gag.

You know, I had a friend growing up, Wade Turner, who his mum didn't believe that the Omega-3 fish oil tablets had enough potency in them, so she made his own hard-pressed fish oil and would buy fish from the fish market. Sorry, this memory has just hit me in the smack bang in the face and I can smell it. She would press fish, mackerel. What, juice them like a lemon? Yes, she'd make him drink it.

Disgusting. What the fuck, woman? Oh, that's foul. Because we'd have sleepovers and in the morning I'd have my wheat peaks and he'd have half a gallon of fucking fish cum. Oh, wow. Glad I'm staying over at your house. Anyway, sorry, I digress.

Well, look, hopefully these reviews cheer you up today, darling. They fucking better, let me tell you that. Because you win a free mug if your review is read out on the show. You've got a week to get in contact with Pricekeeper Jenna. Yeah, reach out to her on our Instagram, at Couple of Midges, which is also where you can buy one if you don't win one. Link in bio to do a bit of mug shopping. There's quite a few of them to be on.

Nah, this is fucked. Who the fuck is Talia O.C.? Oh, Talia. Oh, listen to Talia's title, right? You tell, why don't we play a little game of spot the fuck up? So Talia has said, oh, the best podcast ever, all caps, exclamation points. Lovely. Quite beautiful.

Thanks, Talia. If it's the best fucking podcast ever why have you left us two stars what oh talia you dim-witted little git we're not gonna give you a mug if you leave us two stars hands down the best podcast i've ever listened to oh oh well here's two stars the saving grace that pulled me out of the depths of depression. I mean, if you look at the T's and C's, technically you've read her review out, so she's still eligible for a mug. Fuck. I legally have to. Congrats, Talia.

You rat. Thanks, Talia. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt, and I think what's happened here is she's accidentally done two stars. Hopefully. Because that's too glowing to only- I mean, she may have accidentally put two stars, but maybe we'll just accidentally send her a completely fucking smashed mug. Oh, yeah.

No, no, no, Mitchell. No. Jenna, do you have the mugs in your desk? Yeah. You go get one, please. No, please. Please. That's fine. I know where they are.

You talk amongst yourselves and I will go and get a mug. Jenna, just go get it. Okay. You're in a bad mood. No, I'll get it. No, no, no. I'm going to get it. No, I'm getting it. I'm getting it. Now it's literally just me.

She's getting it. You are in a bad mood today. Oh, yeah. Are you going to do like a traditional Greek wedding style smashing of the mug? Just you wait. She'll get exactly what's coming to her. What was her name? Talia.

Talia. Talia Osi. Talia Osi. Talia Osi. Oh, Jenna. Thank you. Jenna's got me an unboxed, unopened. Don't even open the box. Just throw the box around.

No, no, no. I want to have a look at this beautiful full mug that could be used. What are you going to do? I don't know. You could give it to a family member. Oh, gee, it's packed well because you don't want these to smash. They're so brittle. Oh, that would be awful.

These things are so sensitive and so delicate because we made sure we got the best fine bone china. Oh, it's a pink one. Lovely. They're the favourite. It's a beautiful pink one. Oh, it's cute. And if she wants to give us two stars. Oh, my God.

Then she'll only get 2% of this fucking bag. No, no, no. Where is it? Didn't even smash. Oh, fucking bag. No, no, no. Where is it? Didn't even flash. Oh, my God. No, be careful. There's pieces over there. They're over here.

Got it. So, Jenna? What about all the other pieces? I've got two pieces of a mug, and I'll put them in the box. And you can shit that off. Two pieces of the mug for two stars. All good, yeah. Sorry, the staff are coming in.

All good. We're all good, everyone. Hey, Mitch. Put your headphones on, idiot. They're on. Thank you, Sam. Sam, come in to film that. Thanks, Sam.

Sam, you're bleeding from the forehead. Thank you for that. All good. That looks sore. It's fine. They're on. Thank you, Sam. Sam, come in to film that. Thanks, Sam. Sam, you're bleeding from the forehead. Thank you for that. That looks sore. He's fine. Mitch. Yeah. Are you okay? I'm better than ever. Yeah, I thought so. I'm brilliant. Are you really okay? Thanks for asking. Alright, well

enjoy your shards, Talia. Thank you, everyone! Let's move on. We have You'll Float Too. They say a clean podcast. Five stars. Is it just me? A podcast I've listened to since day one.

However, I have noticed a flaw in the podcast. What? Get me another mug. Get me a second mug. Jenna, go fetch. No, please don't. It says on Apple Podcasts that this show is clean. I beg to differ.

Anyway, I live in Tasmania and I feel like I'm the only one who actually listens in Tasmania. Excuse the fuck you. We're fucking clean as fuck, dog. There you go. Two mugs given out. Well, one and a quarter. Jenna, I do expect you to send this out.

I will. I'm going to sign it. I'm going to sign it. What was her name again? Talia. Talia. How do you spell dirty hoe? There we go.

Mitch. But I've only spelled Mitch with an M and an I because I don't know where the other three letters went. All right. I think Sam got hit by the actual glass. Yeah, you'll actually see in the footage that will get put online maybe is that you literally threw it at my leg. No, I didn't. And it shattered off the chair that was behind me and shattered all into the back of my legs.

There's a lot of blood. Oh, my God. There is blood. I'm literally bleeding. Are you? Yeah. Oh, my God. Sam.

There's not enough calcium in the world to save Sam's brittle bones from your mug throwing. He's so thin. Did I actually? Yes, you did. This is Talia's fault. Yeah. You know what?

Forget it. That's it. I'm done. No more contraceptives. Sam. Oh, don't be dramatic and quit the show. What's a bit of a salt between colleagues? Did it bounce off and hit you?

Yeah, I've got shards of a fucking mug in my leg. Oh, no. Do we need to pause? Are you okay? That's fine. Jenna, can you go fetch the first aid kit, please? Sam, it's in the kitchen. Oh, Jenna!

Yeah, no worries. I'll just hobble my way out, guys. I'm good. Sam is bleeding out on the way to the kitchen. Anyway, let's talk about us some more. Do you know what will cheer you up, Mitchell? Yeah. So last week on the show we were talking about fan fictions, right?

Yeah, yeah. As in erotica, that people write about people that they're fans of. Correct. So, for example, someone might write a dirty novel about, I don't know, Hagrid and Dumbledore. Yeah. They let their imagination run wild. And so we asked our listeners to send in some fanfic about you and I, Mitch.

Oh, God. So prepare to be uncomfortable because I've been sent some fanfic and it actually came from our good mate Talisha Veskio, who, as you know, Mitch, used to be the co-host with me on my old podcast, Not My Cup of Tea. Did you also notice, Mitchell, before we hear Talisha's, we had Watson Paddington send us an erotica fanfic that they had written in our secret Facebook group. It was so dirty and so vulgar that it got them a week-long ban on Facebook. How did that happen? Did we report it or something? No, someone else must have reported it.

Watson messaged and said, apparently this post got my Facebook account disabled. I can't imagine why. Anyway, the fanfic is now officially uploaded on Wattpad, so if you'd like to read, you can search the words Jenna or diaphragm or couple of Mitches and you will find the horny masterpiece. Thank you, Wattpad. Wow.

So this is why we need moderators. Clearly that's coming up. Yes. But for now, do you want to hear it? She actually sent it in as audio. Oh. So you don't want any porn music or any sound effects? It's all sorted?

No, no, no. It's all sorted. Okay, great, no. It's all sorted. Okay, great. I'm ready. I haven't heard this either, but she gave me a heads up. She said, you're going to feel uncomfortable listening to it. Mitch, I don't think I'm going to be able to look you in the eyes, if I'm honest, while this is playing.

Oh, well, thank God I'm working from home. I know. All right, let's roll this fan fiction for Mitch Coombs, Mitch Turi from Talisha Veskio. I'm ready to hear. Hello to the couple of Mitches. It is Talisha. Welcome to your fan fic or your worst nightmare.

Oh. Let's get into the reading, shall we? So the trio had finally finished what could only be described as the most disastrous recording of the Is It Just Me podcast. From the very beginning, everything was going wrong and Jenna only added to the stress by offering less than usual to the podcast. That's accurate.

Sounds realistic. As soon as the recording ended... Thanks for listening and we'll see you next week. Bye. Jenna abruptly got up from her stool and announced, I'm going to get a tea. And Coombs excused himself to the producer's booth to calm down. Yeah.

This left Turi alone in the studio, who was stressed and feeling flustered from the ordeal. He wiped a single bead of sweat from his forehead and licked it off his finger. Yeah. His finger lingered there for a moment and he slid it between his lips. His eyebrows shot up and he realized he was getting quite quickly aroused. He swirled his tongue around his finger and closed his eyes as he rocked back in his chair.

He placed his free hand on the desk to stabilize him as his rocked back in his chair. He placed his free hand on the desk to stabilise him as his erection grew in his jeans. He pulled his finger from his mouth and traced down his body and unzipped his fly in one fluid movement. Wow. He knew what he needed to do to relieve the stress in his body. What? He wrapped his hand around and held it against his body.

You're wanking. And he slipped a slight moan from his lips. At that moment, Coombs suddenly looked up to the speaker and realised the microphone was on. Coombs lingered in the producer's booth for a short time and his mind began to wander. Should he tell him? Should he leave him alone? Or should he tell him should he leave him alone or should he

join him no my god please don't he stood up and made his way to the studio door where he peered through a glass panel to see churi completely exposed with his leg up on the desk he was curious and was beginning to get aroused by the scene unfolding in front of him. Coombs tried to get Churi's attention from outside the door, but realised he needed to go in. He lightly pushed on the door and entered the room. Churi was startled and tried to cover himself. It's okay, said Coombs, leaning against the door with a smirk, creeping over his lips.

He moved towards the desk, biting his lip. Churi looked shocked but was now feeling more intrigued. No. Coombs looked into Churi's eyes, searching for permission, and he climbed aboard his lap, straddling Churi's arousal. Get off, get off! He lingered there for a split second, one hand guiding Churi to his entrance

and the other pulling down the fader. Just turn the fader off, Coombs whispered before letting Churi inside him. Coombs rode Churi like a horse from the farm and dug his nails into his chest for stability. Guys, I think we need to re-record. That was an absolute disaster. Quivered Jenna, flinging the studio door open with a cup of tea in hand.

Coombs clambered off Churi and flung his bare body against the wall in an attempt to hide, but it was too late. Oh, no. Jenna stood opposite Turi, who was still exposed. Oh, no. What's going on in here? So that's, that was that. Wow.

I hope you enjoyed it. Oh, thank God it ends there. Thank you so much for coming to my reading. Well done, Talisha. Well done. Very good writing. Very good. I you so much for coming to my reading. Well done, Talisha. Very good writing. Very good. I'm so uncomfortable. Yeah, I'm just going to turn the webcam off for the rest of the show.

That was a bit of movement, I'm not going to lie. So if you guys didn't quite keep up with the story, in a nutshell, Mitch was wanking in the studio and I just decided to hop on board. And I was making a tea. Yeah, and I was trying to search for your entrance.

Oh. Why in that story was I the most disgusting beast deciding to jerk off after tasting my own sweat, which I think was a real plot flaw, and it said single bead of sweat, which is not me. It's entire surface of body sweating always drenched yeah yeah there is a real like she really lingered on the fact that you were a bit of a creep in the studio i'm not the creepy one i just helped myself but you were the one that was

wanking in the first true you're fine you just saw an opportunity that I'm sure you've wanted to do since the day you met me. And fair and fine. I think the biggest plot flaw is that Jenna storms back in the studio and says, Guys, we need to re-record. This was a disaster. If this was real life, I would have turned to her and said, You're not the boss here, bitch. I'm having a ride. As if Jenna would have brought anything to our attention anyway.

She would have just let it slide. I know. I would have looked and then ran off. 100%. And you know what? I think we can officially end it there. Guys, no more. No more fan fictions, please.

We don't want any more submissions. Please never send them again. Keep your imagination to yourself, please, from now on. That's awful. Well, from one horn that was blown to another, it is officially time for this. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the first annual Moderator Games. And this is the deciding round, of course.

We have two finalists that carried over from episode 81. They're battling it out to be the moderators in our Facebook group, Enduring Idiots. God knows why. No idea. Unpaid work. They're chomping at the bit for it. We had thousands of applicants, each paying a $20 fee.

We are coming out of this very, very successful. Even more rich than we already were. Exactly right. Loaded. But we are very excited to do this. Let's please welcome our first tribute and our final two, Callum and Laura. Stephanie.

Stephanie. Steph is here. Hello, Steph. Welcome, guys. Hello. Hi, everyone. The task for this week to win the role was to impress us and to book a guest, something that I am very familiar with.

But they don't have to be a celebrity or anything. That's right, Jenna. They can be anyone. Make us laugh. Like I said, some people refer to this show as a comedy podcast. Others, true crime. I don't know where they got that from, but that's what others say. Do you feel like now that you've had to actually do work

and, like, find a guest, is there a part of you that thinks, oh, God, the prize is not worth it. I'm just moderating a group. Why am I going above and beyond? No, I don guest? Is there a part of you that thinks, oh, God, the prize is not worth it. I'm just moderating a group. Why am I going above and beyond? No, I don't think it's a lot of work. I think it's a good reward. Hear that, Mitch? Guest booking?

Not a lot of work. You guys are going to have the boss from hell, you know. I'm a very easy, cool, young Silicon Valley boss. But you'll be dealing with Mitchell. You can back out now. Say aye if you want to back out. No, they are both excited. No.

And I guess you two have guests ready to introduce to the show. Is that right? I do. We sure do. Now, Mitchell, how should we decide who goes first? Should there be a question that they must get right in order to decide who goes first so it's fair? Well, I mean, does rock, paper, scissors work over Zoom?

Yeah, hold your hands up. I believe we can do rock, paper, scissors. On my count! Rock, paper, scissors, go. Oh, Callum wins! Callum wins! He beats Steph out. That is fine.

It's a simple game of chance. Callum, we will now hand it over to you to introduce to us the guest that you have brought. Well, as you know, Is It Just Me is run by the girls and the gays. Correct. And obviously with that comes a very similar audience. And any girls, gay or they they would know who this guest is i decided to get a finalist from rupaul's drag race down under

the one and only art simone is here oh my god is that true art simone can you hear us? Nah. Hi. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is, I'm in utter shock. How did this happen? Did Callum just reach out to you and say, come on this podcast? Yeah, I just got a little email from Callum being like, hi, do you want to do this thing?

I don't even really understand what I'm doing, but I've got nothing better to do tonight, so let's do it. Yeah, it's a tricky thing to explain you're basically just here like the challenge for Callum was to get a guest and he's got a good one wow it's been a while since the show wrapped up hasn't it? yeah it's been a couple

oh not a couple of months I don't know it seems like an eternity ago I have no concept of time but yeah well it was even longer ago that you filmed it right when was that? we filmed in january so yeah yeah i mean it wasn't compared to like normal drag race seasons they're sitting that that the footage is sitting in the can for like a good 12 months so this um really very yeah very quick turnaround holy shit uh no art we probably should establish this is the podcast that we do we have a facebook a Facebook group and Callum is competing to be the moderator,

to be in charge of our group. Actually, I'd like to say that I would like to be the moderator. Thank you. Wow. I remember when I was watching RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under, I was particularly drawn to you, Art Simone, because you're a bit like me. You've got the Kath and Kim accent going on. Yeah.

I know, I know. It's just a way of life, isn't it? It just comes over you. You don't turn it on or off on purpose. It just kind of happens sometimes. And it's this really weird thing where you'll be in a room with someone else and then they suddenly start talking like that way as well.

And it's just, you know, it's Kath by osmosis, I guess, you know? Nah, I don't know. I've never seen Kath and Kim. I really don't know. No, I guess if you're Kath and you're Kim, then I'd be who's, what's Magda's role? Sharon. Sharon!

I'm Sharon! I'll be Sharon. I fucking love Sharon. Well, I think that's a very good guest. Art, quickly, drag race question. Who are you rooting for on All Stars? Are you watching? Oh, yes, because that's a very good guest. Art, quickly, drag race question. Who are you rooting for on All Stars? Are you watching? Oh, yes, because that's tonight.

We're a little bit finished by the time this podcast is out, but anyway. Not really any of them, but. Why do you say that? It's a great season because I'm just not invested in any of them. It's just like, okay, cool. Fair enough. Go for it, girls. I hope they all win.

I hope someone comes out of a big skip in this episode and takes over and then wins. Yeah, because that would be good to be brought back like Eureka and then actually to win. Wouldn't that be? That would sort of make sense narratively, wouldn't it? Wouldn't that be fabulous? But who knows?

Who knows what will happen? Well, welcome, Art. This is brilliant. This is so cool. Should we keep Art on the line to see if Callum wins while we get Steph's guest, or does Art just get eliminated? You're welcome to stick around. Do you have anything better to do?

If the answer's no, then this is really depressing for you, Art. It's lockdown life. It's all I can do. I've locked out a good half an hour slot for this. Oh, great. Oh, perfect. Do I have any more questions? I don't know.

Oh, is Drag Race Down Under coming back for a season two? Do you know? After the warm reception? I don't know. I mean, I've heard whispers along the line that it will be, but there's been nothing officially announced yet. So we're waiting to hear. Yes.

Interesting. I wish I had the gospel. Hey, Mitch. Yeah. Can you turn that drone off? I feel like there's a fucking mosquito in my ear. Oh, but it sets the tone. We've had the intensity now.

We're just chatting. Yeah, true. Okay. Well, I feel good. Steph, how are you? Steph has popped off the vape. She's like, fuck. Callum. Yeah, true. Okay. Well, I feel good. Steph, how are you? Steph has popped off the vape. She's like, fuck. Callum got Art Simone.

She's just got her vape going. My hands are so sweaty. Don't be worried, Steph. You'll be fine. I guess, you know what, Art, you're here now. Why don't you stay? It's a party. Yeah, I'll hang out.

It's fine. Yeah, okay. Well, Steph has brought a guest. Art's got her mother steph is vaping um steph should we bring your guest in yes we should why don't you introduce them steph i would like to introduce blake he is from the hottest new band metal band in Melbourne. Oh, my God. Lost in Reflections. Oh, my God. Well, he's lost in audio because it says Blake's audio is disconnected.

Hello, Mitch. Oh, my God. I'm scared. Hello? Hello, Mitch. Oh, my God. Oh. I'm scared. Hello? Hello, Merchant. Hello. What is going on, Steph?

Who have you brought to this established audio production? I have brought the hottest new band in Melbourne. Wait, there's multiple people doing that noise? No, it's just Blake. Blake, can you turn your camera on? Sure, man. I can't have a chipped tooth at the moment, though. That is my only... That's fine.

That's fine. Art Simone's in a room full of wigs. Oh, Blake. Very handsome. Hello, Blake. Thank you. Hello. How's it going?

I'm good. What happened to the tooth, Blake? A lot. It's a the tooth blank? A lot. It's a long story. People are bad. Yeah. Oh, hang on. It sounds like this long story needs unpacking.

What did you get yourself in? Who did you get yourself into trouble with? Tell the story, Blake. Okay. Okay. Well, he was a very drunk man, maybe under some influence of some other things that I was very unaware about at the time. Yeah, he just smashed me in the face with a chair, man.

He was like, yo, that guy needs to learn a lesson or something, apparently. And, yeah, here I am. Oh, no. Blake has a lot of rage and needs to scream it out. So much rage. And, Blake, talk to us about your band. What's it called? We're called Lost in Reflection.

And it's a punk rock ethereal vibe? Punk rock. I would say more of a metalcore alternative rock kind of thing. Maybe you should scream Jenna. Will you please? Jenna. Wow. That seriously takes me back to high school when I was in my emo music phase.

I used to listen to Escape the Fate, His Infernal Majesty. Oh, it takes me back. I do enjoy a good scream. I'm still in that phase, Coons. It's definitely not a phase. Art Simone is here, who was Callum's surprise guest. Is there any sort of slam talk you want to throw Art's way to prove that you are, in fact, the better guest?

Not really, man. The only thing I really have to say is that I definitely think that Janice should change her name to Mitch because it just makes things convenient for everybody, you know? Don't be ridiculous. He's got a point. Mitch, Mitch and Mitch. Yeah, man.

M is a much easier consonant to form screams off, you know, rather than J. From a screaming perspective. Yes. I like that. Oh, interesting. I mean, that's why I'm here, right? What do your normal vocals sound like when you're not screaming?

Can you just sing like Ave Maria or something? Can I sing what like Ave Maria or something? Can I sing what? Ave Maria. Ave Maria. I don't know that song, man. I'm very, I can sing like a. Oh. A scale.

Yeah. Okay. What about you, Aunt Simone? Have you ever been bashed by a junkie? No comment, but that's great. Oh, Cam. Art was blacking out her teeth

so she was equally as chipped as Blake was. Oh, nice. I wanted to make him feel comfortable but I blacked out too so I'd still have more chipped teeth, nice. Okay. I wanted to make him feel comfortable, but I blacked out too, so I'd still have more chipped teeth than him. Double. Well, we definitely have a lot of thinking to do. Thank you for the entries.

You too. Wow. Is anyone else getting the sexual tension between Blake and Steph? Is there a history there, guys? Oh, I can smell it. Whoa. Whoa. I'm engaged to a Mitchell.

And he has a beautiful mustache, may I say. That man has the nicest mustache I have ever seen. Interesting. Well, I'm getting married to him. Wow. All right. Art, Simone and Blake, we will say goodbye to you. Thank you so much.

This was an absolute pleasure. And I'm sure your entrance will get back to you with the results. Yes. All right. Chookers, back to you with the results. Yes. All right. Chookers, everyone. Thank you for arriving. Thank you. We love you.

Goodbye. Lovely to meet you, Blake. Bye. Bye, Blake. Bye. Arsemon's gone. Blake is gone. All right.

Guys, we're going to put you in the cone of silence while we discuss, okay? Are you okay with that? And we'll get back to you in a couple of moments. The two of you. Wow, they were. Oh, my God. They were interesting. Now that they can't hear us, what the fuck was that?

What just happened? I'll tell you what that was. It was like chalk and cheese. You can't really compare those guests. Both had interesting things to say. One of them had better phone reception than the other which is always nice in my book you know being a bit of an audio nerd you're right but aunt simone has that celeb power she's she's beloved especially in our gay community yeah i don't i don't mean to

sound shady but i was subtly googling lost in reflections to try and do some like rushed research and nothing comes up on Google. So I'm like, how known are these guys? I mean, they must be just starting out and I'm more than happy to give them a leg up. He's clearly talented at what he does. So, you know. And what is it?

That's true. That he does. Oh. Now I've started. Fuck. Oh, that's tough. I'm an Art Simone fan and I think Callum did well to book a guest. I feel like Steph knows the porn of Satan.

Yes. And it was an easy get. But also we said it doesn't have to be a celebrity. It could be a grandma. Yeah, I do wonder who had to jump through more hoops to get their guest and Callum would probably be that person. But also I like chatting with Blake. He was bashed by a junkie.

That's a cool story. It's about how interesting the content is. He was very handsome too. He had the long wavy hair. Kind of looked like a straight version of you. The chipped tooth was kind of hot. Contraceptive diaphragm, Sam, what do you think? Look, I feel as much as I love Screamy Guy

the whole vibe I call him the sport of Satan, you call him Screamy Guy It's not even a hard name to remember guys, his name's Blake I don't even remember, you just said it He said that I should change my name

Yeah, that was random too Look guys, my name. Yeah, he did. That was random too. Yes. Look, guys, we're going to have to make a decision here. I'm not pissed off with either of them. I mean, is there any reason that we can't have two moderators? I don't know. Or does that defeat the purpose of the games? It kind of.

I don't see any problem with it. We created these games, so I guess we can bend the rules. Jenna, what do you think about having two? You know, I quite enjoyed both guests. I think we could have two.

We have got an influx of people joining in the last week, so there is more people to moderate. And I guess that also gives us the potential power to fire one of them down the track that's true which could be fun yeah yeah let's bring them both on board but just make it clear that they're on probation all right how do we want to do this do we want to just only hire steph because calvin will think he's won it so should we just do steph yeah just be like and the winner is Steph.

And then we let that, you know, play out for a bit. And then we go, and Callum. Right, that's brilliant. All right, let's add them in. Contraceptive diaphragm, Sam, can you please add them back in? Absolutely. Thank you so much. Wow, this is so exciting.

This is the weirdest thing I've ever done. All right, Callum has re-entered the chat. Hello, Callum. Welcome back. Hello. And we have Steph. Oh, there's Steph chuffing on her face. I don't know how they work.

I'm still sweating. But, Mitch, do you need to charge those things? Because she'll be plugged in all night, the rate she's been chuffing. Don't know. Have you got a disposable, Steph, or have you got one of the chargeable ones? I've got both. But this one is a disposable, Steph, or have you got one of the chargeable ones? I've got both, but this one is a disposable. Interesting.

Well, listen, the first annual Moderator Games have come to a conclusion, a natural conclusion. After mere minutes of adjudicating, we have decided that we have a winner, and I will play the official winning drone as we head into one of the most exciting periods in our podcast history. Well, a lot's happening in the show. Our group is bustling. Enduring Idiots on Facebook. You can join it now.

You need to know all the code words. A moderator. And we have decided the winner of the first annual moderator games is. Steph. Well done, Steph. Oh, my God. Congratulations, Steph. Well done, Steph. Oh, my God. Really, Steph. Well done, Steph. Oh, my God. Really?

That's right, Steph. You are our winner and so is Callum. Oh, my God. You did it. Oh, my God. You can never have too many moderators as far as I'm concerned. This is amazing. Is it?

Yes. I think I concur is amazing. Is it? Yes. I think I concur with Mitchell. Is it? Yes. When you say amazing, do you mean a complete waste of time? Oh, Callum is tearing up. Everybody's wiping his tears away. You have both won unpaid work.

Sue! Well done. Woo-hoo! Callum, are you actually that worked up over it? No. God, no. Oh, he's actually crying from realisation at what he's just signed up to. Yeah.

I'm going to call fair work after this. Smart. That'd be good. You're fired. Callum has officially been added as moderator and steph has officially been added as moderator congratulations you two very well done thank you guys thank you so much now there's a lot of work to get done there was a severely racist post that i just saw in the group so uh it's up to your discretion whether or not to get the put in. Thank you. Goodbye, guys. Goodbye, Callum.

Goodbye, Steph. Well done. Sorry. Sorry, Tunnel. Sorry, Tunnel. They're gone. Yeah, they didn't sound overly thrilled. I wouldn't be thrilled.

That screaming guy. I was quite impressed with them both. I mean, let's not negate his skill set. Like, not everyone can scream like that. I don't think any of us could do that. That's true. Give it a go, Mitch. Give what a go?

The screaming. Oh. Homer. She's gagged. Jenna, what about you? See if you can scream a few notes. What's a song that we could get her to turn into a screamo version? Good for you, Olivia Rodrigo.

No, I'll do Driver's Licence. I was going to say you should do Stop by the Spice Girls. Okay, yeah, I'll do that. Stop right now. Thank you very much. Ow, my throat. Oh, my God. So glad that I came back to this.

Welcome back, Sam. Do you want to scream for us? Oh, no. What am I going to scream? I think you should scream, I dreamed a dream from Les Miserables. Oh, yes. Oh, Christ. How does that go, I dreamed a dream from Les Miserables. Oh, yes. Oh, Christ, how does that go? I dreamed a dream.

I dreamed a dream in time. Goodbye. Oh, it hurts. There he goes. Oh, Sam's larynx is on the glass studio door. That is a nice note to end on. The finale of the first annual Moderator Games. As we've said in the past,

the Moderator Games are not ethical. No. But they are fair. Well, what a week. Two mystery guests, a fanfic about us. Scott. Yep. A sore throat. Yes. What a show. Thank you to Callum. Thank you to, what's the other one's name? Scott. Yep. A sore throat. Yes.

What a show. Thank you to Callum. Thank you to, what's the other one's name? Steph. Beth for contributing to the first annual Moderator Games. Back in the year. I guess we'll do this around September time every year. I'm quite excited.

Yep. Yeah, sure. Okay. Maybe we can make one admin next time. Oh, I wouldn't go that far. Yeah. It's too much actually. All right, Mitchell.

Why don't we do the next one? Instead of moderator games, we make it personal assistant games. Oh, in the market for one, Mitch? Oh, I mean, it couldn't hurt. I'd love a personal assistant. Yeah, I'd like one too. Especially if it's unpaid. I don't know where I'd put them half the time.

Do they work out of your house? Well, they do whatever needs to be done to make your life easier, I guess. Jeeves, sweep the floor. Oh, Jeeves would be good. Abby Chatfield has a personal assistant. Oh, I remember when she was promoting that role. Yeah, but I find it odd when you're at that level. It's just like, where's HR? Who do you escalate a complaint to?

It just seems odd. Oh, well, forget about it. It was just an idea. We won't get PAs then. It'd be a very weird Christmas party. Want to get dinner? Sure. Let's do Secret Santa. Sure.

Oh, I got you. I just wouldn't really have the same excitement. Anyway, we can discuss that. It's not until another year. Let's get out of here. It's been a pleasure. Guys, give us a five-star review. If you'd like to keep us on the pod,

we'd appreciate it. Or if you want to leave a more fair review after what you just heard, that's alright. We understand. They can't do six. We'll see you back next week for episode 83. What a good year. What a great year 83 will be. Good show

83 will be. I don't know. I've lost the pot. My throat is currently bleeding. Mine is too. See you guys next week. Thanks for listening. Love you. Catch you next week, guys. Bye.

Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of midges. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to AD Debrief. This is our secret segment on the end. ADD, of course, attention deficit disorder. We let our minds run wild. There's no discipline here.

And we're just having a debrief, you know. This is the secret segment because we don't really want anyone to hear it. We want this to be a judgment-free zone. If you're here judging us, fuck off. This is where we just let loose, okay? No judgement. This is that awkward co-worker that lives on the same train line as you and when you both leave at the same time and they go, oh, do you want to just go together? And you in that moment can make the snap decision, yes, I will go with them and it could be great, I could find my new best friend or it will be kind of awkward and kind of shit.

But it doesn't matter either way. Yep. It doesn't matter. Hey, contraceptive diaphragm Sam, does that happen to you? Is there any colleagues on the train with you? Like what? On the train home? Yeah.

Either fucking way. I don't care if it's in the morning on the way in or home. Just on the train. No, I tend to avoid it. He can't think. He doesn't have much blood left in his body. It's true. Sam, you and I have had that interaction a couple of times

because I drive the way Sam catches the train and Sam's gotten up to leave and I've gone, I'm leaving too. And then I'm like, oh, well, I could drive you. And it's been a great, pleasant drive. There's been no awkwardness. Yes, that being said, but I feel like you then feel obligated to offer. Oh, there's been times where you're leaving but i'm not done yet and i'm like oh am i gonna have to wrap like wrap up early so i can take sam

because i feel bad not on you that's on me yeah well you never have to well now i do because you can charge me with attempted manslaughter so i've really shot myself in the foot there or thrown i often run sam to the station if we're finished recording at the studio not while i I'm working from home, obviously, but I have to do laps of the block because we've got so much to gossip about how terrible our IJM colleagues are. Sorry. What are you doing? Delta Gridron went live and my phone automatically turned it on. Sorry.

I think I've got that set to auto on whenever Delta does anything. I'm a big fan. Sorry. Wouldn't she be spewing about the Delta strain? Yeah. Yeah, actually. Yes. I have inside goss on that.

Do you actually? Like what? Just that they are mitigating, trying to mitigate the references from Delta. Who's they? Delta strain. The team Goodrum. How? It's worldwide.

By not making, no, they're not trying to mitigate Delta. Yeah. I was going to say, are they going to reach out to the strain? That would be a smart move, actually. No, they're not embracing it. They're just not making the connection. Because if it happened to us, right, if the Coombs virus was a thing, you'd fucking make merch.

But I think they've decided the other route to just not address it, you know? Well, look, I feel that because I know how to produce a multimillion dollar podcast, I can offer my insight here. Delta, have a laugh, darling. It's funny. Like everyone else is making the connection. You staying mute doesn't stop that. So you may as well just have a laugh about it.

I saw a really funny meme because Delta is one of the big three US airlines. And I saw a tweet, the annual report of how much they made, their financial review, was put out. And they said, we obviously had big issues this year due to the C-1,4B9. They referred to it by its literal base science, by its atomic structure, instead of saying Delta because they didn't want to connect them losing money

to the same word that is their brand. It was very funny. I'd be pretty happy if a cyclone was named after me. You know, that one never happened though because they only named cyclones after women. They don't do male cyclones. I know. Yeah, but what about Hurricane Henry?

Henry was non-binary, Jenna. Oh, yeah. Actually, they should do more male names like Cyclone Bruce. Fuck, I'd be scared. Maybe that's why. Is that why? Me looking at Sam as if he knows. Because female names are more disarming.

Do people find it less threatening when it's like Cyclone Tracy? They're like, oh, Tracy's coming over. Yeah. That'd make sense. Oh, God, there's so many things about this already. Oh, is it conspiracy bullshit? No, it's just there's so much about Cyclones. I don't have the time or the attention span.

Or the energy. Gee, Mitch, I'm so glad that we've got two capable Googlers on board to help us. No, too much reading. I hope me coming out of probation has just shown you that I'm, in fact, a dedicated member of this team. I've excelled since probation has been lifted, I think. And before. That's why it was lifted.

You have been great. Jenna, however. I'm the prize keeper. Sam, Sam, I'm surprised he's here. He's bleeding out. Well, I mean, you know, I'm here for the next couple of minutes until I die. Yeah. Yeah.

I'd like to apologise to that girl. Also, that being said, until 1975, all tropical storms around the world were only given feminine names. And this changed when former Australian Minister of Science, Bill Morrison, decided, you know, let's make it a bit more equal. How is that equal? Of course, a man came up with that. Yeah. I's make it a bit more equal. How is that equal? Of course a man came up with that. Yeah, I don't see how that's equal, just targeting women.

Like Cyclone Deborah, how is that fair? I want a Cyclone Kevin thrown in there every now and then. And of course a man would think that it's such a compliment to make all women. You know what? It's equality. Let's give women the name of Cyclones. Oh, I bet he slept so well that night. He thought he'd done something so progressive.

He was like, yeah, I'm going to name all natural disasters after women. Female representation, woo-hoo, sisterhood, fuck you. How was work, honey? Yeah, it was real good actually. What did you do to break the glass ceiling today, dear? Well. You know when people lose their homes and livelihood and everything that's dear to them? I'm going to blame that on women.

You know a cataclysmic national emergency that could potentially wipe out an entire state? I named it after your mother. You know what? There's actually a bit of truth about that. Why? You know what? There's actually a bit of truth about that. What? So this started in Australia in 1887. Wow. When some guy from the Bureau of Meteorology decided he's going to name them after Greek letters and mythological creatures and politicians he didn't like.

Watch out, it's Hurricane VVVVI! And they've gone, actually, nah, this is a dumb idea. And then it didn't. Just call it Karen. No one did this until 1964 when some misogynist decided, nah, you know what? I'm going to name him after all of my ex-wives I don't like. What was his name again? This guy, this clown that named it after the shit?

Morrison. Bill? Back in 1887, it was a guy named Clement Warwick. Shit. Oh, Jenna, that's your ex. Not Clement. Why did you leave Clement again? Oh, he was just so problematic.

Yeah. Cyclone Jenna would be really silent, like it wouldn't make much racket, but it would kill the biggest number of casualties ever in recorded history, and no one would know how. It would actually be so sly. Like the hurricane wouldn't last a matter of minutes. It would actually just be like a one-second blast and everything's fucked and then it's over.

It's like this huge gust of wind. There is currently Hurricane Ida happening in Florida, in America. So if we have any Floridians or American listeners, we are actually sending our love to you. It's actually quite bad at the moment. But we don't experience hurricanes as bad in that part of america like down the south what is that south east yeah yeah is really sam's like yeah you fucking idiot it's east sorry um yeah it's bad so have you heard united yeah i probably already have told you this but have you heard the broken tornado siren in

chicago you've played it to us many times. It's terrifying. If I'm ever wanting to leave my laptop to download something and I don't want the laptop to go to sleep, I'll just hit this 10-hour loop of the Chicago broken tornado siren to make sure my laptop's still running because it's playing this really long YouTube video. Are you getting it up? Ready?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh. So spooky. I hate it. That is horrific. Oh, my God.

Have you seen that viral TikTok? Wow. We're really going down a natural disaster route, aren't we? But you know what? Let's commit. Mitchell, have you heard? Have you heard it's going viral on TikTok? There are hurricanes happening in the U.S. at the moment.

And I think it was in Texas, Houston maybe, there were like four hurricane alarms going at the same time in a very, very close vicinity to each other and they harmonised and it was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard in my life. I'm going to get it up. Oh, don't say get it up after the fanfic. Oh, sorry. Sorry, not appropriate.

All right, here we go, I think. 131065, what's your favourite natural disaster? I'm quite partial to an earthquake. No, just be, all right. Sorry, Jenna, if I'm typing, you can carry on. No, I'm triggered by earthquakes. When I was in Vanuatu, there was a massive earthquake, the biggest they'd ever had, and it was very scary.

All right, I found the audio, everyone. Jesus, you've been fucking sitting on that story. Oh, is this a past life bullshit? I thought you were serious. No, no, this is a current life. What happened? When? In 2002.

You're joking. What happened, Jenna? I missed it. A huge earthquake hit Vanuatu when we were there really and it was so scary they thought a tsunami would come did you like feel the earthquake yeah was it scary yeah it was terrifying and there were tremors continuously for the next few days and I was begging my dad to take us back home and he said no we've paid for this hotel we're staying here I remember when I went to Hong Kong for the first time,

the only time, so I don't know why I said first time. When I went to Hong Kong, there was a cyclone, like a stage five cyclone, and it was so bad. We were in one of these gigantic skyscrapers. The building was swaying in the wind. Oh, that's good. And they played a message over the loop like, this is normal. The buildings are built and designed to sway. Do not be scared. And it was swaying in the wind. Oh, that's good. And they played a message over the loop like, this is normal. The buildings are built and designed to sway.

Do not be scared. And it was swaying. And I was 15. I was there on theatre production. I was touring the world performing theatre. It was a great life. Anyway, I found the video. So this, the tornado sirens, I should say,

they're tornado sirens in his neighbourhood. There is one, two, three, four, five going and they all harmonise. Are these ones broken too? No, no, no. They're all working well. They're all doing their job, which is just a scary siren. But because there's five of them, they all harmonize, and it's beautiful.

Ready? Time all the tornado sirens in my neighborhood accidentally harmonized. I'm in the middle of about four sirens, so it may have been that four sirens were going off perfectly. Seriously, this is crazy i'm in awe isn't that beautiful i love that shouldn't he be running for his life, not just being in awe? In awe. It's like he's in a movie.

Yeah, a movie school. I'm in awe. No, it sounds like sleep meditation. That's lovely. Hey, Mitch, you give me a note and I'll try and harmonise with it. Jenna, you be the third note. I don't have any paper. Oh, you mean.

Ha, ha, ha. Try and harmonise with it. Jenna, you be the third note. I don't have any paper. Oh, you mean. No, Jenna, you fucked it. That's the same note that we're already doing. What? That's not how harmonies work. That's just an octave up. Same note. I'm tone deaf, to be honest, so I don't know what's going on.

You know what, though, Mitch? You mentioned on your podcast that you do with your loving gay boyfriend, Hayden. What is it again? Top 100, right? Yeah, the Top 100 with Hayden Hicks and the Mitchell Cheerios. Yes, you mentioned on that podcast that you used to play the saxophone, which we know, but you claimed, oh, hand me a saxophone now and I could still play it. So let's just brainstorm right now.

I'm thinking if we get a saxophone in the studio, we'll see if you can still play it. I thought you were going to say turn around. That's where Sam went. He's got a saxophone. I was going to have a heart attack. No, I'll make it next week. Do you want me to?

How are you going to get a sax? Oh, I can reach out to someone and say, oi, give us a sax. I remember that claim. I said, I think I could be handed a saxophone and blindly play Eye of the Tiger by Rote. That was my claim. That's right. Actually, hold on. No, just play the easy bit.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I like that. I'll do it. Do you want to do it? I can get a saxophone for next week. How are you? Oh, you know he doesn't work anymore, Jen.

So, yeah, go for it. Get me a sax, please. Excuse me. Brushing your hair all day in bed doesn't mean work. Oh, I don't. I thought he was reading the fanfic again. I'm seething. Why?

I've been so busy the last two weeks. I'll tell you why. I'm launching a new podcast. Yeah, we know. We know. I haven't decided whether I want to gag or support this one. I'll support it because I'm a supportive friend. Tell everyone about it.

It's very exciting. Well, I can't say too much at this point other than I'm not cancelling Idgim. I'm going to be doing both. Yeah, well, I do a fucking radio show on this and Jenna does a day job on this. You'll be fine. It's not a competition. No. How about we all just support each other instead of saying he's unemployed.

He's got nothing better to do than find a saxophone. And also, it's not that hard. I'll fucking send an email. I'll do it right now. How are you going to reach out to a music company? I'll just Google saxophone hire in Sydney. Mind blown. Wow.

You don't have to do it now. I'm sure you'll be able to do it by next week. Yeah. In amongst all my other busyness. Thank you. Well, I can do it. Would you like me to book it? It was your idea. I'll do it. I'm happy to do it by next week yeah in amongst all my other busyness thank you well i can do it would you like me to book it was your idea i'll do it i'm happy to do it it was just the shade about me being unemployed that i don't appreciate oh sorry i didn't mean to that's the right talent anyway um all right we should wrap things up thank you for the uh for the fanfic guys um and

thank you for the nightmares that will ensue from that point onwards. And well done to Callum and Feffy? What was her name? Steph. Steph. Close with the F. You're just as much of a misogynist as the Cyclone guy. How? You always remember the man's name, but never remember the woman's name.

That's not true. It's got nothing to do with that. What was her name? Steph. There we go. I got it. I got Steph. Just like my favourite neighbour's character, name? Steph. There we go. I got it. I got Steph. Just like my favourite Neighbours character, Steph.

Steph. Fuck that show. Is that still going, that show? Yeah. No, it's like Joel Creasy. It's been cut to four nights a week though. Hilarious. Joel Creasy's like, I can't wait to be in Neighbours.

I'm like, be in it. I didn't realise they were still casting. I didn't realise that was still on. He was the adult version of a child who I used to watch on Neighbours back in the day. And I always thought, that kid's going to turn out gay. Sure enough, they bring in Joel Creasy to play his adult version. But also, the funny part is Joel's boyfriend in real life plays another role in Neighbours. Oh, that's right.

Is he straight or gay in the show? I think he's straight in the show. Imagine me trying to play a straight character. Insufferable. I couldn't even. Where would I start? They could do it, but you'd just have to be a woman. True.

That would be a really easy role for me to adapt to, a straight woman. Hi, Susan. I've just moved in next door. My name's Melody. Melody Raine. You'd manage the tuck shop. You know, they just clearly built one set and they just don't want to edit it. Even the camera angles are the same every fucking time.

Oh, do you mean Harold's Store or whatever it's called? Is that it? I've never seen it. I've never listened enough to get the context. I think that Melody R Rain would actually be one of the people working at Lasseter's Hotel, but okay. Also, your Melody Rain, who would I be if I was in Neighbours? I've never seen it,

so just typecast me. You'd be one of Toadie's school friends that comes back after many, many years of being estranged, and there'll be some sort of controversy that he finds out that you fucked his wife Dee before she died or something. I don't mind that.

So Dee died. Oh, a terrible death. How'd she die? Haven't you seen that? She just drove her car into the ocean because she was pashing Toadie at the wedding and she just wasn't watching where she drove and just like dead end street drove straight into the beach and drowned. I'm getting this up.

Quite a lazy death when you think of it. Dee's death. Here we go. So she's. May you go forward in peace. So Toddy's getting married to. Toddy. Toddy's getting married to a blonde woman.

Is that Dee? Yeah. So she dies on her fucking wedding day. Yes. Yeah. They're leaving the wedding. Oh, they're driving and they're kissing. day yes yeah they're leaving the wedding oh they're driving and they're kissing oh my goodness me

oh not ideal i feel that you were somehow connected to that and toady will find out and he's not happy with you oh i love I love this. I love Neighbours Mitchell. If that's my role. So, like, what do you think the connection is? Jenna, what's his character name? I think it would be like Lionel. It would be something lame like Lionel or Lloyd or something. Gus.

The police have taken over their order of men. Stoney has the order. It's their job, mate. It's what they're trained to do. All right, I'm one of the paramedics, and the truth is that she was alive, and I had the opportunity to get her out. Because Toadie was always told that she was missing at sea,

but maybe Gus found her and just put her in the boot and was like,'m gonna keep the corpse just for fun for fun you sick fuck wait they never found this body well they're in a bag she ended up coming back on the show it was very bad yeah i heard she came up yeah well like many years later like quite recently actually they brought her back and it was like they thought she was a liar but it turned out to be her evil twin. Very shit neighbor storyline. But anyway, this is the good days when Dee died.

Was her name Dee? Am I getting that right? Yeah, it was Dee. Yeah. So I reckon that you actually smuggled Dee's corpse and kept it in your dungeon or something. I found it. Dee returns. Dragging me down.

Maybe that's why they didn't spot me. And then the weather turned. It was so cold, Jodie. See, that didn't need to happen. No. I thought that her dying, like imagine if Claire McLeod just came back, Jenna, after plummeting to her death off a cliff. No.

It makes no sense. No, it doesn't work. Imagine if Patrick came back on offspring and was like, only lying. No. That's dumb. All right, well, I'll have you that way. And what's Jenna's role? That's dumb.

All right. Well, I'll have you with that one. What's Jenna's role? She'd be like one of the support teachers at the school that Susan's the principal at. And she starts as like a minor character, like a supporting role. But then as the weeks go on, there's more and more scenes with Mavis, the peer support worker at the school. Got it. I love Mavis.

And then as it turns out, Mavis is actually stealing money from the canteen and the P&C. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is such a neighbour's storyline. I love it. And then Susan calls Dr. Carl and says, I sprung her. Because in the weeks gone by, Susan keeps going home and saying,

I swear Mavis is stealing money. And Carl's like, don't be ridiculous. Don't be dumb. Eventually, Susan calls Carl and says, no, I've just seen her doing it. So, Carl comes and crash tackles you to the ground, Jenna. I love it. And then you shiv him in the kidney and then he's dead. Yeah.

But then he comes back. Masterpiece. Wow. I'm sold. All right. I need But then he comes back. Masterpiece. Wow. I'm sold. All right. I need to get out of here. Well done to our moderators. Congratulations to Steph and the other guy.

Mitchell, hopefully we can have you back in studio. Mitch is getting vaxxed next week. We'll probably be recording around your vax day, so we can update you more on that next week, right? Yeah. So the 7th I get my first jab. Yay. Jenny, you got your first since we last recorded.

Yes. How'd you go? I was fine. The next day, I felt a bit unwell, but that wasn't totally normal. After that, 100%. Good on you. If you can get vaxed, go, guys. Google every day.

There's vax checkers now. You can log in, put in your location, and it's like a ticketed system. You're lining up for concert tickets, and it pops up and tells you if there's one near you. Go and get vaccinated. That way we can actually fucking travel, and you don't have to sit on listenanddrive.com. And then maybe I'll see you guys again in the flesh one day. What if we see you again and we're all different? In what sense?

I don't think we will. That was just a fleeting comment that should have been a thought. Alright, everyone, thank you for listening. Please leave us a five-star review, not a two-star review. I do apologise to whoever I had a fit at one of those days. Don't apologise. I think it was founded. Alright. Talia, if you can rectify your

review, we will send you a full mug. Otherwise, you've got something coming in the mail. See you next week, episode 83. We love you. Goodbye, Mitchell. Goodbye, Jenna. See you next week, episode 83. We love you. Goodbye, Mitchell. Goodbye, Jenna. Catch you guys.

See you soon. Oh, 2%. You do it, Mitchell. Oh, fuck. Oh, we hope this podcast. I can't go into that after just saying, oh, fuck, at the top of my lungs. I've got a segue. I've got a segue.

We need to bring it down. Okay, bring it down. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today, guys. That's all. Just 2%. That's all. Just 2%. That's all we hope. 1% for each star that that bitch reviewed us for on Apple Podcasts. Not five, not four, not three.

Quite simply two. Have a great week. We'll see you. We'll see you, guys. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.