Is It Just Me? - #84: Gaslighting Jenna Into Marriage

Episode Date: September 20, 2021

Keep your expectations low this week xIn this episode:Churi’s un-relatable IIJM (09:17)When old people say dirty shit (12:45)This week’s reviews (21:18)Gaslighting Jenna’s hand in marriage (23:20)Coombs’ violin recital disaster (27:57)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (43:07)Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Television legend Kerri-Ann Kennelly fell several metres from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pippet. I have to send her some cookies. Some things make more sense than others. Bring Pike's nurseries. What nursery? Pike's. P-Y-K-E-S. P-Y-A.

K as in kill. P-Y-A. K as in kill. P-Y-E. K! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches.

What about me? Don't forget Chin-O. Who? Now, here's Mitch Chudy and Mitchell Coon. Knock on the door. It's 84. Hello, Mitchell Coon. Knock, knock. Who's there?

I'm here. Hi, everyone. A dumb bitch is at the door. Excuse me. How very dare you? Sorry. Also, to get to your house, Mitchell, you know you have to knock on 17 doors. It's hell.

Well, I'm actually moving apartments very soon, did I tell you? Oh, no, I knew you were looking, but I didn't realise you'd found one. Found one, moving in a couple of weeks, and it has an elevator, so even more doors to get through. Oh, my God. Our pricekeeper, Jenna, is here. Jenna, you know Jenna and I have entered your house at the same time, and it's like one of those haunted mansions where they've got 17 doors

and one falls into a lava pit and the other one's a pit of snakes and only one gets you inside. And then you end up in a garage and it's all very odd. It's really trippy, Mitchell. So you're moving. That's very exciting. Nice place? Yeah, it's really lovely.

But I'm just going through that process that Sam has just been through where I'm like, oh, I'm moving. It's such a punish. And COVID too, Sam. It's annoying, right? I locked down the day that COVID started. It was the absolute worst. I was so excited.

Got my new couch. Going to get all my new furniture. Haven't got a single thing. I've still got moving boxes months later. Still? Are there people outside laughing at your jokes? What's going on out there? I've got an audience.

No one cares about you guys. I'm very excited. It wasn't that funny, but sure. Wow. Oh, Mitchell, that'll be hellish. If you need help, I am definitely able to give you a call and give you some mental advice that day. Yeah, good.

God, you're good to me. Hey, Mitch, I'm so sorry, by the way. I heard the bad news. What? How terrible. You've been dethroned. That must have been hard. What do you mean?

Oh, haven't you heard? What do you mean, dethroned? Oh, well, there was an ad before the Masked Singer the other night, and I thought, oh, poor Mitchell. He's lost his crown. Do you want to hear it? Yeah, what do you mean? Play it. The Masked Singer, brought to you by Peppa Pig, the world's number one pig.

Ah! Okay. Very funny. According to who? Number one pig. No! Okay. Very funny. According to who? Number one pig. No, you'll always be my number one pig, Mitchell. Don't worry. Thank you. No, fuck Peppa.

Yes. I find Peppa Pig to be quite malicious, actually. Did you see the tweet that came from the Peppa Pig account? No. Like, throwing shade at Kanye West? Yes. No, what'd they say? Oh.

Well, it was like a screenshot of Kanye's album rating, which was 6.0, next to a picture of Peppa Pig's album, which was rated 6.5. And they were like, oh, Peppa Pig didn't need to host listening parties in Mercedes-Benz Stadium to get that.5. Oh, my God. And it's not like a child character to be such a bitch. No, but then they deleted it an hour later.

Really? Yeah. I know, they went soft. The scariest part, have you Googled how tall is Peppa Pig? No. Mitchell, do it right now. Isn't it monstrous? Why do I have to fucking do it?

Jenna can do it. That's why she's here. No, I know this. It's something ridiculous, right? If you Google how tall is Peppa Pig, the answer is seven feet and one inch. She's seven foot tall! So taller than you, and you're not exactly a small boy. No, way taller than me.

Seven foot one. So that would insinuate that her parents are ten feet long. Oh, yeah. They're like the size of my swimming pool. Yes! They are. Far out. This is horrific.

Anyway, I've been dethroned.'s fine i don't mind have you been watching the mask singer though oh my god i have yeah i'm really oh but have you heard the kebab oh yeah yeah i have the one in the kebab mask as if that's not jack vich i know i was gonna let me find it has to be him and they're all guessing women right they're all like i know that woman's voice yeah i'll find it because everyone, like, you can't not recognise this voice. They've tried to, like, manipulate and auto-tune it a bit. Here we go.

Here we go. I can't wait to hear the voice. Sitting here eating my heart out. That's him. Waiting for some lover to call. Hang on a minute. That's not a dude. Shut up, Denny. No, that's a girl. That's not a dude. Shut up, Denny.

Like, are they stupid? Do they all think we're dumb? Fucking Denny. And that could be my sister Kylie. Yeah. No. It's not your sister. It's so clearly him.

Should we call him? You've got his number. You're better friends than him than I am. Why don't you call him and just go, are you the kebab? Get his answer and hang up. That's a bit aggressive. He's also a bit, he's good like that. Like if he's got a secret to keep, he'll keep it.

But I can try. Like he wouldn't admit it if it was him. Call him. I can call it through here if you want or do you want to call it off your mobile? I'll have to send you his number, because if I do it here, you guys won't be able to say anything, that's all. Oh, you do it. We don't need to. I don't want to ambush him to think he's on the record. I think it's better if you do it. Yep. Alright. Alright, calling the kebab. I mean, Jack Vigil.

Hello? Jack? Jack Hi Hi Jack It's your good friend Mitchell I can recognise your voice Even if you can't recognise mine darling Oh hi Hi I'm on the podcast I should let you know

How are you? Oh I'm good How have you been? Oh big night on stage last night What do you mean? You're the kebab, aren't you? Oh, my goodness. I've been getting so many messages about this kebab.

I can't deal. Yeah, probably because it's your voice. I'm not the kebab. I think she has a great voice, though. She. Even he's playing into it. He or she, whoever it is. Oh, my gosh.

It is not me. Didn't you put out a new single recently? People can listen to that and compare the voices. We know that that's you. And when you're in studio, Jack, you wouldn't put down House of Bullies. I wish it was. I would love to do that show.

Yeah, right. Okay. What's the new single again? Oh, my God. Thank you for giving it a plug. It's called Goodbye. Goodbye. You see, now I've done you a favour.

Now you do me a favour. You give me the exclusive. You're the fucking kebab, aren't you? I'm not. Sorry, Tunnel. Love you. Get rid of him. He's the kebab.

Told you he wouldn't admit it. But it's fucking him. Should have said, my monstrosity of a co-host knows his way around a kebab and he reckons you are 100% a Donna Kebab. Also, did you have to talk that whole time? I made it very clear he couldn't hear you. It was very hard trying to listen to him and you in my headphones. Yeah, sorry.

I didn't realise that we weren't patching through to the call. Anyway, it holds up. He did it. Oh, he's calling me back. No. You can take it if you want. Nah. Well, only time will tell, Mitchell.

How embarrassing if by the time this episode comes out, he's off the show. Yeah. And imagine if by the time it airs, it's Christine Anu. And he's like, I told you. Welcome to the show. If it's your first time listening, welcome to Is It Just Me? The podcast. Every week we start the show the same way.

Something we notice, something we hate or appreciate. They're our idioms, the core of the show. And after we've done an Is It Just Me each, today we've got a gaslighting Jenna coming up. It's already happened. We prank called her last week after the show. Oh, yeah. So you'll hear what happened there.

And also I have a violin right in front of me. Oh, my God. You picked it up? Yes, I picked it up because I organised a saxophone for Mitch last week to see if he still remembered how to play it. Now it's my turn to see if I remember. And I haven't heard this story, but I couldn't hire one. We had to buy it on Facebook Marketplace.

Wait, you bought it? Yeah, Mitch owns it. Yeah, I now own this. Well, the podcast does. That's one of our assets. It's a used violin. It is. Well, we'll see if all the money my parents spent on violin lessons was worth it. Yes, very true. Alright, we'll see if all the money my parents spent on violin lessons was worth it. Yes, very true.

All right, my agent this week came to me in a fever dream. I woke up at like 10 a.m. scrolling through Instagram and I saw something on someone's stories and I think we can implement it into our show. Okay, quick question before we move on. The whole time we've been doing this podcast together, nearly two years, I've heard you say that phrase fever dream a million times. I don't know what that means. What's a fever dream?

Oh, a fever dream. You know when you're really sick or you've got a high fever and you're really hot and you kind of like hallucinate? You have really whack dreams. Yeah, it's kind of like when you're sick. How often is that happening to you? You use that phrase all the time. No, it's an expression.

I don't know if it's a fever dream. Like it's not real. I'm not actually having fever dreams, although it wouldn't surprise me. I was going to say, are you alright in this current climate? No, I find it's a coin of phrase. It's a term. Alright, well, let's get into it. Can I go first?

Yeah, go for God. Here we go. Is it just me, or Is this the best way to introduce your guests on your show ever? So I've got some audio. What? Because everyone out there has shows, do they?

Irrelatable. Yeah. The best thing about you is that you're always in touch. I don't want to hear anything to the contrary. No. Never out of touch. No. This is up there with it.

Is it just me or are red carpets exhausting? I can't believe you let me do that. It should have been in my junk. Is it just me or is filming a full day of television exhausting? Is it just me or is it so annoying when they charge you so much tax when you earn over a billion? Is it just me or is the one yacht rule ridiculous? Okay, what are you getting at?

What do you want to say? Okay, so this TV panel show, it's like a game show in the afternoon in the UK, but the way that the host introduces the guests, which are everyday civilians, they're just people that want to win the money, is absolutely ludicrous and I think we can take it on board. So have a listen. I've got a grab. This is from last night's episode. Tim Robinson, a keen traveller who caused a tailback

in the Dartford Tunnel when he ran into the back of a Saab. Rob Butlin, a marathon runner who's travelled through all 270 London tube stations in 18 hours while dressed as Father Christmas. And their captain, Terry Pret, a former bookmaker who's been assembling a stand for his television since early 2003. Right?

Weird. What? Why do they get so specific? They would have had to have asked so many questions to find those fun facts. You know, whenever you're one of those, like, get to know you things, they say, what's a random fun fact about yourself? I can never remember anything off the top of my head. Yeah, I always used to say, like, you know, it's like two truths and a lie.

I would always say I was born with one lung, which is true. And I have had my ears pierced, which isn't true, but everyone always thought it was. Yes. They were mine too. I notice that whenever people do those things, like the true one is too specific that it can't not be that. Yeah.

Yeah, very true. My aunt here once met a guy in October 12th, 1974 that had an Oscar. Yeah. It's like, oh, I have a tattoo or I was held at gunpoint in Beirut. And it's like, well, how did you think of the second one? It's obviously that. I've never had a feeling or I was in a car crash that killed three people on the 12th of October. I think it's the second.

Anyway, it gets worse because this is how she announces the competing team. Harry Kanagaratnam, a keen amateur musician who was stung by a scorpion, targeted by sniper rifles and contracted dysentery on a holiday to Sri Lanka. James True, a property solicitor who once had to tell Lennox Lewis that cranberry juice wasn't on the menu. And their captain, Lucy Harry, a law graduate who spent a morning in China shoveling panda faeces. What? Why?

Yeah, and by the time they moved on to the next fact, I've only just processed the one I heard. That was information overload. Yeah. Poor Carrot Duractive, or whatever the first guy's name was, was held at sniper processed the one I heard. That was information overload. Poor Carrot Duractive or whatever the first guy's name was was held at sniper gunpoint. And by the time you processed that, the poor girl had dysentery. Yeah.

You know how you said we could take this on? Let's not. That was. Okay. All right. You know what? And that was called a brainstorm. Yes.

Yes. All right. Well, I got that out of my system. You all ready, Mitch? Mm-hmm. All right. Well, I got that out of my system. You're ready, Mitch? Hit me. Is it just me? Or? Have you noticed that old people always say dirty shit without realising? Oh yeah. Like what? It's a classic. Oh, there's so many. Like my friend Katie, I was catching up with her recently and she went to visit her grandmother and she took her son with

her. So he's great grandmother. And he was son with her, so his great-grandmother, and he was like playing around doing what kids do, you know, picking up everything off the shelf and he found this cat ornament and he put it in his mouth and then the old frigging great-grandma says, no, no, Vance, we don't eat pussy. Oh, dear. He can eat whatever he wants. Well, no, I feel that she has quite a point.

I don't recommend eating pussy either. Yeah. You should get her on the show. She'd fit right in. Exactly. But, no, my nan does the same. It reminded me many years ago we had just finished Christmas lunch and her and Pop left quite early after lunch and I was like,

guys, why are you leaving already? And nan says, oh, we've got to go. Pop's knocked up. My mum says that all the time. Wait, what does it mean? Like tired. Needs a nap. But knocked up means something very different to us.

Wow. I'll be walking with my mum and I'll be tired and she'll be like, oh, you're knocked up. Really? Oh, you're knocked up, sweetheart. Yes. Jenna, would she react the same way if you actually told her you were with child? Oh, you're knocked up, darling.

That's all right. We'll just go home. Probably. If you called your mum right now and said, hi, oh, it's been a long Wednesday. I'm knocked up. Do it, do it, do it, do it. Can you call her? Yeah.

Okay, text me her number. I'll do what she says. Oh. We're calling Jenna's mother Rumsfeld. Roslyn. Oh, Roslyn. Roslyn. Sorry. Not Rumsfeld. Is Rumsfeld even a name?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, dialing Jenna's mum, Rosemary. Roslyn. You're going, Jenna. Knocked up. No caller ID. Hello? Hello?

Oh, is that you, Jen? Yeah, I'm just walking to the podcast. Oh, right. I'm just so knocked up. Oh, how come? I don't know. I'm just really knocked up. Oh, Jen, that's not good. No.

You've eaten? Yeah. Wait, Mitch is calling me. Hi. Hello. It's Mitch and Mitch. We're here. Oh, sorry.

You're all together. We're all together. We wanted to know if you thought knocked up meant something different to what Jenna thinks because we think it means something else. But, no, it means she's tired. Because you always say that. I would love it if it was something else. So you're not knocked up?

Is this only a joke? Yeah, no, she's fine. She's got heaps of energy. She's glowing, actually. She looks radiant. Oh, thank God. As long as I don't mind about the other knocked up, as long as you're feeling okay.

Would you like to be a grandmother? Are you waiting for it to happen? Oh, I would love to be a grandmother. You'd be such a good grandmother. Oh, I'd love it. I'd spoil them rotten. We'll get cracking, Jenna. Yeah, and let's just hope when the day comes

she isn't actually knocked up on the way to work. All right, lovely to talk to you. Bye. See you, Rosalind. Bless herself. She's so sweet. Anyway, I – Yes, all right, continue.

I wanted to know other people who have noticed old people saying dirty shit without realising. So I've got a bunch of voice messages that people sent to me on Instagram. Do you want to hear them? Yeah, go for it. Okay, so first up, Chris sent this in about something his grandad says. Hey, it's Chris from Yamba. And my grandfather once said he was absolutely jizzing for a cup of tea.

Oh, what? I've been there. What makes them think that jizzing means like stinging for a cup of tea. Oh. What? I've been there. What? What makes them think that jizzing means like stinging for a cup of tea? I guess vocabulary changes so quickly. Even 10 years ago, I don't think jizzing was really thrown around like it is now. True. Jenna, can you Google jizzing? Yeah, I'm going to.

Get off the work Wi-Fi. Yeah. We'll come back to that. Nikki sent this one in. She had one of those old haggard choir teachers in school, right? Here's what happened. Hey, it's Nikki from New Zealand. Kia ora, Nikki.

My choir teacher, whenever she'd teach a particular song, it started on the D chord. So whenever we'd learn, she'd tell the pianist, give me the D. And we were so disciplined that she never worked it out. Class, 7B. What is so funny? Jenna, how'd you go Googling G's? Yes, I've got it here.

Okay, cool. So it was put on Urban Dictionary in 2004. Okay. Oh, don't check Urban Dictionary. I want to know the origins. That is the only thing I can find. I doubt it's in Oxford. Sam has something.

So can confirm, not at any point has jizzing meant just excitement in general. Like it comes from the word jizzum, which is only just, it's only come. That's the only definition. Is jism the full word for jizz? Yeah, so jizzing comes from the word jism, which is with an S. What's jism? Yeah, what's jism? It's just come.

Oh, so jizzing is like a colloquial term. Yeah, like, it's a verb. I've never heard the full word for it. Mitch, you say that several times a day. Jeez, I'm hungry. I do, yeah. Alright, this one comes from Ben. Hey, it's Ben from Balmain. Whenever my grandma

eats too much food, she says I'm railed. It's quite concerning. That's only a new one, to be honest. And I only found that out because I was watching a video on Pornhub and it was like, whoever gets railed and I'm like, are they at a train station? No, it's being fucked.

What were you watching on Pornhub? Oh, I don't know. YouTube video. Move on. Pornhub sucks now. They've got rid of all the amateur shit. Can I pass on a bit of lockdown wisdom I've attained? Yeah, go. Because I was missing all the amateur stuff on Pornhub.

Thisvid.com. Get amongst it. Thisvid? Thisvid.com. Amateur. I found myself on Ex-Hamster the other day. That sounds weird. What?

That's the name. It's very good. Ex-Hamster? Yeah. Yeah, right. Okay, anyway. That's got nothing to do with the animal. Why would they call it that?

I don't know. Shorten. That's very odd. Energetic. Okay, move on. Move on. All right, so one know. Shorten. That's very odd. Energetic. Okay, move on. Move on. All right, so one more. This one's from Beth.

Okay. Hey, this is Beth from Melbourne. My grandmother one day said to my aunt, you should give him a hot tongue lashing, meaning tell him off. Everyone was in stitches. What? A hot tongue lashing. Oh, my God. That's how Jenna got this role on the podcast. She gave me a hot tongue lashing. Oh, my God.

That's how Jenna got this role on the podcast. She gave me a hot tongue lashing. Oh, yeah. I mean, in the early days, Mitch, as you might recall, I would frequently give you a hot tongue lashing. Oh, God. But these days, not so much. When I get a voice message from Mitch Coombs on Facebook,

I go, oh, God, is it going to be a hot tongue lashing? Not me. You know, my dad does this. He's not an old man. I mean, though, he's 60 now, so I technically guess in some times. In your era, Jenna, he would be considered dead. Yeah, he would. 20 years ago.

He constantly, and this is so funny because when I came out, family from the Shire, there was a bit of, there was a period where they had to sort of change some of their vocabulary. They weren't politically correct. Oh, God, what did they say? Oh, my dad said poof-ta, like there's no tomorrow, because he's an ex-football player and it was just in the vocab.

It didn't mean any malice in it. He probably didn't even know it was connotated to gay men. And mum would go, Mark, you cannot say that around Mitchell and Hayden. I'm like, well, he can't really say that anywhere. I wouldn't say that at the self-checkout at Coles. Oh, my God, he said it around you and your loving gay boyfriend. Yes, and my sister said the F word very early on. And I said, you know how people use gay as like, oh, my computer's broken.

That's gay. Yeah, they're so gay. She used the F word in that connotation. She's, you know, almost 30, so it's a different thing. Anyway, it shouldn't be justifying it. He always says this. He goes, oh, I've had such a shitty day at work, Shell Bell. What's wrong?

Oh, it's just Marissa. She's just so anal and it drives me insane, which is hilarious. But then mum will go, Mark, not around Mitchell and Hayden. I'm like, no. That's good. Not the same mum. You're listening to Is It Just Me? The podcast that bribes you for your praise.

Okay, review time. If you leave us a five-star review and five stars only and it gets read out on the show, you've got a week to get in contact with Pricekeeper Jenna and we will send you out a Season 3 commemorative mug, which are very limited time only. I mean, Mitch, you and I were only on a FaceTime the other day discussing the summer merch line, which we can't say much about yet,

but it's in the works, right? You can confirm? Oh, it's going to be happening. We were trying to come up with, like, the catchy phrase for it because we had merch march, and then what did we land on again? It was, is it just T-shirts? That could be any month. Is it just T-shirts?

Oh, is it just T-shirts was great. No, no, it was, is it just rash shirts? That's what it was. No, it wasn't. Yes, it was. Jenna, give up. It's rash shirts. Sorry.

Spoiler. All right. You've got a week to get in touch with Jenna. Tiffany Humphries. This is on Facebook. So if you don't listen on Apple Podcasts, you can jump over to our Facebook page. A couple of mitts. Just give us five stars.

Tiffany says, I love, love, love these boys. Plus Jenna, contraceptive diaphragm. Sam Dot and Ida Buttrose. My God. The whole crew. Yeah, yeah. love these boys. Plus Jenna, contraceptive diaphragm. Sam Dot and Ida Buttrose. My God. The whole crew. Yeah, yeah. All the essentials. George Columbaris.

Your content has the perfect balance of comedy and realistic life moments that many Aussies could relate to. Oh, raise your hand if you've been in a coffin in a studio. Oh, so Aussie. Yes. Like I've already established, Mitch is just so relatable. Yeah, I know. Hands down one of the best potties in Oz. Keep we've already established, Mitch is just so relatable. Yeah, I know. Hands down one of the best potties in Oz.

Keep up the epic work, you legends. One of. I beg your pardon, Tiff. Yeah, you bitch, Tiff. Oh, God. Regardless, you've won yourself a mug. Thanks, Tiff. Thanks, Tiff.

Crystal Watkins left us a review on Apple Podcasts, and she says, best podcast. I don't listen to podcasts or radios at all. I hate listening to people talk online, but honestly can listen to you guys all day. Always nice to have a bit of a laugh and a cheering up. Great job, guys. We've converted her.

Thanks, darling. Thanks, Crystal. We adore you. All right. Should we re-gaslight Jenna? No. Oh, yes. We all know what this means.

Gaslighter, denier. It means we're going to mess with Jenna's mind a little bit. And the other day I saw something on the news about the fact that while the rest of Sydney is still in lockdown, not allowed to go out clubbing, not allowed to go to pubs, they were apparently going to be changing the rules when it came to weddings. So if you were getting married and you were fully vaxxed, you could have a wedding with 50 people and you were allowed to dance. So while the rest of us are locked down, really the only way you're allowed to have a party

is if you have a wedding. Yeah. And so Mitch decided to give Jenna a call. He had a bit of a proposal for her, didn't he? Yeah. Well, it's my birthday at the end of the month. So we have this genius idea. Let's roll the call. He had a bit of a proposal for her, didn't he? Yeah, well, it's my birthday at the end of the month. So we have this genius idea. Let's roll the call. Hey, Mitch. Hello, how are you?

I'm good. How are you? Good. Are you at home or are you still here? I didn't even pop my head around. I'm at home. Oh, thank Christ. I know. Can you send me the saxophone photos? The guy from the sax place wants to put them on his Instagram. So I said, yes, I'll send them to you. So can you text them to me and then I'll just send them to Mike. I had to drop it back today and he was like, oh, do you want to keep the reeds? I'm like, there's no need for me to keep those.

Thanks, Mike. No. No. What are you going to do with those? Yeah, I know. I'm like, oh, I could make fake acrylic wooden nails and look like a Barbie doll. But I gave them to him. I don't need them.

Hey, while I've got you quickly, I wanted to ask you something. So Hayden and I have been talking about getting married and whatnot and maybe, you know, taking that step. But the whole COVID lockdown thing, like we're not quite ready and we want to make sure our whole families can come and make it a whole thing. So we don't want to do it just yet. But as you know, my birthday is in, what, end of the month.

It's September the 30th. I'm the last day. And we can't have parties because of lockdown. You can't do anything. Like I won't be able to have any sort of party. But it was announced that you can actually celebrate if it's a wedding, like weddings are on.

You're allowed to throw a party if you're getting married. Yeah. So I was thinking, oh, my God, all I need to do is find a friend that would just marry me, like legally marry me, and then I could have a party and just make it my birthday party disguised as a wedding. So I know this is really awkward, but I just wanted to know if you'd marry me i know it's stupid we we could get divorced it would actually be good and you can

come to the party and you can actually bring your family you don't have to not come even though it will be my birthday party but like we might have to put a couple of photos up to just say, oh, we got married. I'll put you in a veil and pretend that it happened. Then we can just throw a birthday party. Is this a joke? No, no, this is legit. In New South Wales, you can have parties for weddings.

So we could literally just get married. We can do it at like the town hall in the city. We don't even have to do anything official. And we just get divorced like years later. Just so you can have a party. It's my 26th birthday. I can have a birthday party. Dancing's allowed.

I thought you'd be down. Yeah, I mean. Will you marry me? You deserve a party Oh my god It's just a piece of paper So you will marry me? Yeah, why not?

Okay, let's do it Oh my god Yeah, wow Gaslighter, denier Wow. Anything to get you as far as earth Do sacred wedding vows mean nothing to you, Jenna? No, they don't. Clearly. Jesus Christ.

The sanctity of marriage means nothing to our Jenna B. Benson. All right, I'll talk to you later, wifey. Okay. Jesus, Jenna, you are very easily persuaded and peer pressured, aren't you? What? It's not happening. No, Jenna. No, it's not happening. We're not getting married. Okay. Jesus, Jenna, you are very easily persuaded and peer pressured, aren't you? What? So it's not happening? No, Jenna. No, it's not happening. We're not getting married.

Okay. I'm a gay man, sadly. I thought that she was going to, like, panic and freak out. Yeah, you were so willing to marry me. Yeah, but you wanted to have a foot. I reckon she was internally. I reckon she was internally freaking out, but she was just like, oh, just say yes.

Little people pleaser, aren't you, Jenna? Yeah, afterwards I kept freaking out and thinking to myself and I couldn't go to sleep that night. What, after Mav got a kiss that beast at the altar? No, I didn't even think of that. Oh, God. You had a heart attack. Thinking of that.

Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Now, if you were listening to the podcast last week, I brought a saxophone in studio and I was trying to get Mitch to prove whether he can still play the saxophone after learning it as a child and this week it's my turn. I'm going to be trying to play the violin. I actually have a grab of me playing last week.

Oh, he stuffed up there. Oh, he lost sleep over that. Oh, he stuffed up there. Oh, he lost sleep over that. Oh, no, I can, if anyone didn't hear it, I can tell you exactly what it sounded like. No, no need. Yeah, a bit more like that. No. And so anyway, I organised the saxophone for Mitch.

I got this stunning alto from Sydney Band Instruments and you were trying to organise a violin hire for me but then I got a message saying, you're going to have to head to this person's house. He lives on top of a pub and we've actually bought the violin off Facebook Marketplace, so it's ours now. Okay, so I'm like, right, sweet. Okay, we own a violin.

I did negotiate down. We got it for almost half price, thank you very much. Oh, did you? I haggled down. He was like, no, it's rare and vintage mahogany. My lowest offer is this. Well, it's funny you mention half price because you asked me last week, do I have to get a specific violin?

And I said, no, they're all the same. Just make sure it's full size. This is half size. Oh, no. What's the fucking difference? It's half the size. Oh, that clicks. It's like the difference between an iPod Nano and an iPod Shuffle.

Look how small this thing is on me. Oh, it's a little fiddle. Oh, no. It's also woefully out of tune, something you didn't have to deal with when it came to the saxophone. But I thought, you know what? I can push through. I'll just cop the half-size violin.

I'll just play it even though it's a bit small. And then I opened the case and it turns out, Mitch, that the violin you bought, the bow has no horse hair on it. Oh, no. Why? So unfortunately, ladies and gentlemen, I will not be playing the violin for you today. There's no horse hair.

What? How is he supposed to play? He said horse hair included. Yeah, thanks for this, Mitch. I now have a completely fucking useless violin on my hands. I own it. Oh, no. What am have a completely fucking useless violin on my hands. I own it. Oh, no. What am I supposed to do with this?

Hold on. Did he tell you when you went to pick it up? What happened? Was he nice? He was actually lovely, to be honest, but he is not a violinist himself. He said that it was just given to him and he's like, what am I going to do with it? Because when I opened it, when I opened the case,

I was like, there's no horse hair on that bow. And he goes, what does that mean? I was like there's no horse hair on that bow and he goes what does that mean I was like you know the hair that you know goes alongside the strings to actually make the note happen this is what it sounds like without the horse hair oh no I can dub something in don't worry me oh Mitchell you're such a talent and then he said to me no no there is horse there is horse hair in here. Hold on. Opens up one of the little slots and he goes, here you go. I was like, no, that's a spare string for the violin. No, no, no. And he goes, well, I don't know what to do about that.

And I was like, well, the deal's been done. So thanks. Have a nice day. Well, here's the description. It says violin for sale, $90 or nearest offer, like new, working order, pick up Newtown. Like new. Yeah, like new.

There's no horse hair. How is that working order? Is it actual horse hair or is that like a phrase? No, it's actually a horse's tail. Like that's what they put on the violin bow to make it work. My concern that there'd be no rosin. Sorry? And I wouldn't be able to, that's like the oil that you put on the horse hair.

But I was like, okay, if there's no rosin, I can deal. But no, much bigger issue here, no horse hair. Oh, no. I need the horse hair. Sam, can you run down to the Kiss Paddock and just pluck some horse hairs for us? Oh, I'm so sorry, Mitchell. I asked him if everything was included. I can send you the transcript of my haggling.

Isn't it just like classic Mitch cheery luck though? I got you the most gorgeous alto saxophone. Brand new. For sale. They just let you borrow it. And then what do I get? A half size

horse hairless piece of shit violin that I can't even play. Could you put some fishing wire on it? Where am I going to get fucking fishing? No. What are we going to do with this violin? I'm now stuck with it. I'm moving house soon. I can't be lugging crap that I don't need. And also, much bigger picture issue here. Are you going to get me an actual violin to play next week? God, no. What? I just get what I'm given. We can't have the funds

to buy two violins in a fortnight. Don't buy it. I didn't spend a cent on your saxophone. Hey, give it to me. I'll be able to double the price on that. Don't you worry. I'm a great seller on Marketplace. I've got five stars. You can't scam someone. What if we get a listener who is a violinist

to perform our intro on violin? And as a reward for that, they get this completely useless violin. Yes, they get bare bones beginner's violin. I don't know if you understand how competitions work. Like, there needs to be an incentive.

No, Sam can write the T's and C's. You can write it up. Win a free Idjim violin. Horse head on included. Well, this has been great. Jenna, I'm so looking forward to showing off my skills. Okay, here's my commitment. I will get another violin for next week.

No, why don't you just get the string? Oh, yeah, why don't we just get a horse hair, Mitchell? A horse hair. Just one horse hair. If you are listening to this and you own horses, please post us a horse hair. No, you're going to have to get a new bow or, ideally, a violin that I can actually use that's the right size.

I played half-size violin when I was 10. I'm on Marketplace now. A Chester horse tail for $70. What is that? I've just messaged, I'll give you 10. That's more than what you spent on the violin. Is that just a horse hair? Yeah, it's a horse's tail that's been cut off.

What are you going to do to attach it to the bow? It needs to be real tight. Just get me a working violin. Stop fucking around. All right. I'll get a working violin. Stop fucking around. All right. I'll get you another violin. Thanks. All right.

And we also don't have to time frame it to next week. You'll get a violin by the end of the season. Oh, God. You're just trying to make your life easier. No. People are going to get really over this arc when it's been a month since we've done part two. Good things come to those who wait.

Yeah. Oh, I just found one. $80. That's in our budget. No, you're not buying one. Why do I have to keep saying this? Because it's the same price as a hire and I just can't ethically spend the same money for a once-off when you could get a full working violin.

Well, I'll tell you what that logic looks like, Mitchell. It looks like this. I've got a piece of shit violin with no horse hair and it's half the size. It's useless. So just hire one or borrow one like I did. Yeah, okay. I'll put you back on probation, darling. Don't you worry.

I'm very sorry, Mitchell. But to be fair, that snake oil salesman that lives above the pub swindled me. I'm furious. It would only happen to you, wouldn't it? Yeah. All right, guys, thanks for joining us for what has been the worst episode of Is It Just Me in history. I think this was brilliant.

But we appreciate your company. What do you mean it was brilliant? It was great. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I had a great history. I think this was brilliant. But we appreciate your company. What do you mean it was brilliant? It was great. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I've had a great time. I hated it. Okay, well, where are my notes? Where are my notes?

Mitch thought that having a show and introducing guests was somehow relatable to the broader public. My violin's fucked. Jenna agreed to get married instead of freaking out like we wanted her to. Is there anything else anyone wants to add? No. Sam, anything from you?

It's been fail after fail. We didn't find out whether the kebab was really the kebab. Oh, true. Oh, yeah, that was bullshit too. Yeah, this sucks. The whole show's been bullshit. You're just like Jenna. I've persuaded you really quick there.

You changed your tune. I had a moral, I was about to say. But even on our most bullshit day, we are better than the best show in the world. At our lowest, we are at our highest. That's all I want you to remember as we end the episode. We really are a team and a family. Look at Sam's face. He's like, what the fuck is this idiot on about?

I know. All right, guys, let's go. Please leave us a review. Five stars or four for this Sam's face. He's like, what the fuck is this idiot on about? I know. Alright guys, let's go. Please leave us a review. Five stars or four for this week's podcast. We really will accept either. Listen, next week it'll be great for episode 85. Hey, by the way, exciting news for anyone who is a fan of Nat Penfold, who's been a guest on our podcast

many times. If you tune into Kiss 1065, she'll be joining our mate Mitch over there every morning for breakfast, filling in for Kyle and Jackie O. So if you've got the iHeartRadio app, tune in every morning on Kiss. Yeah, so I'm leaving the night show for a week and I'm taking over for Kyle and Jackie O. We're doing Spring Breakfast and I'm hosting it and that's coming on.

It's going to be very exciting. Do you like her? For that week, I will. Yeah, I don't like her. No, no, you guys have history. There's some history. Why don't we have her on the show next week? She'll be in the studio with me.

No, maybe not. We could do that. We'll be here already in the daytime. Oi, actually, can you call her right now and I'll ask her to, what's that bloody segment? We haven't done it for ages. Find the opener. You've got to hustle.

Yes, what the fuck? You've got to hustle. Yes. What the fuck? You've read my mind. You've got to hustle because I figure if she's on Kiss, she should plug our podcast if she can. I know you won't do it because you're gutless. No, I'm not doing it. This is my big break.

You mean this? Come on, baby. You know you've got to hustle. Right. Just the unconventional ways to get our name out there, you know. We've done Studio 10 appearances, local paper write-ups, and now I reckon Natalie surely can just be like, how fucking good is it just me, the podcast?

Oh, no, I'm not doing that. No, she can't say that. Why? Because they know that it's my podcast and then I'll get called into meeting after meeting and too many meetings. Just get her in trouble. No, no, no, no.

Who's going to pull you into meetings? The meeting cause. You know her. Are they that unsupportive of your podcast? No, but I'm there promoting my radio career. And I go, why are you promoting your – she can say – why don't we get her to say, is it just me? Are you all right?

Yeah, sorry, I just had severe indigestion. Why don't we get her to sleep, is it just me? Yeah, that was my idea. Don't pretend that was fucking your idea. No, if she said, oh, is it just me or is it a nice day outside? That's fine. But if she goes, oh, is it just me, the podcast? It's too obvious. Oh, well, she can put is it just me and podcast in the same sentence, surely. Is it just me or are podcasts fun to listen to? Yeah, there you go. Nailed it, Jenna. Is it just me or are podcasts fun to listen to? Yeah, there you go.

Nailed it, Jenna. Why didn't you get her on bloody spring breakfast? Jenna nailed it. Getting close. All right, well, she'll be calling to see if she'll do it. I'd rather not do it, but if you want to, I guess. We don't have to. I don't like her.

Maybe we're not vibing this idea. This show's been dreadful. Let's abandon that idea too. Let's have them all fall flat on their face. Should we accent? I just don't like her. That's all. Yeah.

No, go on. Bloody call her. Surely one thing can come to fruition today. I'm calling Nat Penfold. Yeah. Hi, Nat. It's Mitch, Mitch and Jenna. Is that how you answer all numbers that are no caller ID?

Yeah. No. Have you been getting all those weird texts that are like, oh, this is a job offer we've got for you and stuff? I get so many of them that that's how I chose to answer because I was expecting to be told that I was being extradited to Germany or something. I wish that was happening.

I get your delivery is stuck at the factory. Please press this button. Oh, all right. Yeah, it's like it's been seized by the Australian Federal Police. Are you in a crèche? What's going on in the background, Nat? It's my nephew and my dad's got him a cardboard box. Oh, God, he's good to him.

Now, Mitchell has a question for you or a challenge. Yes. Well, firstly, Nat, Chook is on the big gig next week. It's a shame you've got the world's shittest co-host along your side on Kiss, but I did have an idea. Yeah? When you're on air with Mitch, can you just try and plug our podcast? I mean, you've been here before.

You've been a guest host. When we've done You Gotta Hustle, right? Oh, yes. And you got Mitch in, like, his school newsletter or something? Oh, my God, I forgot I did that. He failed. He didn't get it done. I got it in his, but he couldn't get it in mine.

Well, we're still talking about the newspaper here. So I'm thinking while you're on air on Kiss, you can just say, is it just me and podcast in the same sentence? Like don't make it too obvious with the, is it just me, the podcast, but just like in the same sentence or the same story. It's not a direct credit line for the podcast. No way. It's somehow wavering. Although, Nat, I feel that you're a gutsy woman.

If you want to do a direct credit line, please do. But Mitch, on the other hand, has no spine. Nat, if you ever want to work on Australia's biggest radio station again, you won't say is it just me, the podcast. Just a bit of a... Oh my god, are we that much of a disgrace? Yeah. Oh, thanks for your support.

I think I could drop the is it just me, but the is it just me, the podcast, find it on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. I agree. I agree. Let's probably a bit much. I agree. Let's find a nice way to inject Is It Just Me. I think that's a good hustle because subliminally, it'll still get people to listen. Exactly right.

All right. I'll give you a handshake via the phone. I'll do the Is It Just Me part. It's confirmed. Thank you, Matt. And podcast in the same sentence. Locked in. I didn't agree to that part, no.

No, no, no, go on. Bonus points, Nat. Okay, and what do I get if I do it? Nothing. A date with Jenna. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it at all. All right, Nat, one more thing.

Sorry, Tunnel. She's gone. Oh, good. All right, let's go. Let's go. Out of here. The curse show that was episode 84. Jesus Christ on a bike.

We'll be back next week. Thank you, guys. Leave us a review. Five stars. And if it gets read out on the show, you win yourself a mug. I'll see you guys next week. Catch you then. Bye-bye.

Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment on the end. You guys say the rest. I'm getting another fucking wine.

This is like the after party. Yeah. And you know what? Sometimes it's great and sometimes it's terrible. And most times it's horrendous. He's in a mood today, Mitchell's grumpy. Oh, no. We've got to visit our- Oh, no.

Get him out. It's Jack Viggen. Jack Viggen's walking in the studio, everyone. Jack. Oh, it's a cardboard cutout of the keybab. Also known as Jack Viggen. Also known as Jack Viggen, allegedly. Because Jackie O, who works at the station, is a judge on the show.

We get sent all the cardboard cutouts of the characters. It's kind of terrifying. I'm not going to lie. Yeah. It's not Jack's best look, I must say. No. I'm back. Oh, thank God.

Hello. Sam has the... By the way, I was wearing my AirPods the whole time. I heard you say, oh, he's in a mood. Oh. I didn't even remember that. Jenna, that's disgusting. How dare you say that?

I didn't even remember that. Jenna, that's disgusting. How dare you say that? I can't believe that that violin doesn't have the horse tail. Oddly enough, I believe it. You shouldn't have paid him. Of course he got me a dud. You shouldn't have paid him.

You should have just said, no, this is unusable. The deal was done. If he says it's in working order, then you'd expect him to use it. That's right. That's what he said. Actually, there is a photo of the violin. And because I just remembered you sent me a screenshot and you can see quite clearly that there's no horse hair. But you were like, yeah, bargain.

I'll get that. Yeah, but I don't know what a working violin looks like. I thought maybe they keep the horse hair, I don't know what a working violin looks like. I thought maybe they'd keep the horsehair, I don't know, in a separate little package. He also did not clarify that it was a half size. So you know what? I'm on your side. We were scammed.

That's true. That is very true. We were scammed. The case looks nice, though. Good quality. No, not really. I'm leaving him out of view right now. No, it's nothing flash at all. I thought I might look up some fun facts about horse hair and violin bows.

Oh, please. Number one is that most horse hair is harvested from the slaughterhouse, so it's not really high up there in the fund. Oh, well, that's good. It's not like they kill them for their tails. Like, they're already good anyway. I thought they just cut it off, like a haircut. Oh, that's what you can buy in a marketplace,

that one stray tail for $70. Oh, yeah. Why are there horses at the abattoir? Do people eat horse? Horse meat. Dog food. Yeah. In what?

Yeah, my old primary school, not Bougainvillea Public, bloody St Lawrence's and Forbes, oh, shithole, was right next door to the fucking dog food factory. And so every morning we would get the waft of dead horse. It's the worst smell in the world. Dead horse. It's horrific. Disgusting.

Just has a lot of meat and hoof. One time my dad said to me, hey, mate, can you come up the paddock? I need your help with something. And I was like, yeah, I've got the ute. He pulls up next to the dam and he goes, yeah, so one of the horses has died um here's a rope can you go into the dam where the horse was floating i don't know what happened i don't know why they got in the dam and just drowned but um he's like can you just go put this rope around

the horse's hoof and then i'll drag it out with the ute and i was like absolutely not because mitch you're obviously not familiar but dams more often than not are like the world's most filthy water like it was it had like moss and shit floating on the surface it was all slimy and revolting and also there's a dead horse that's been stewing in that water for quite some time i was like there's no fucking way i'm doing that and so i won that argument. My brother had to do it. And it was weird because my brother was sort of determined to be like, oh, I'm so much

more manly than him. Yeah, I'll do it. And I was like, who's the real winner here? Yeah. Swimming with a dead horse. Yeah. I'm going to say no to that because that's fucked. You've got decayed hoof on your wrist and I'm inside dancing to Gaga.

Yeah. My sister was the same. She was always determined to be like, oh, I'm going to prove to Dad that just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't do sheep work. So she'd be in the yards fucking picking them up, getting scratches all up her arms because the sheep are covered in birds. I'd be sitting there just like doing my nails, like fucking who's the real winner here? Yeah.

Yeah, good point. My family were terrified of all that stuff we had about six budgies that died like i said one got struck by lightning ironically lucky and we would have a ceremony for it every time and we'd wrap it in toilet paper and we'd bury it in the backyard under our mango tree and it got to a point where the mango trees the mango started to taste quite sour and was probably lucky the third and fourth and fifth. But we would have a full ceremony for every animal. But I feel like that would lose its importance, Mitchell, at your farm because death was quite common. You and your family would not cope on the farm, Mitch, let me tell you.

God, no. No, I've told that bogging story. We almost ruined a farm life family. Looking at the horses. Looking at the horses, let alone living on one. Can I read you a message that I got from mum the other day? And this is just a scenario that would never happen in the city. Mum says, I am shattered today.

Watched your father nearly get killed. Graham's ute, Graham is dad's brother, my uncle. Graham's ute died up the paddock. So we went up there to help. Dad got under the ute to have a look what was wrong, but the ute was still going and somehow started rolling. Oh, my God. Graham tried to stop it, but he fell over.

So, Dad was under the ute getting dragged along the ground for about 20 metres. Now, this is where I have questions. Graham fell over and that was just the end of it. Graham's like, well, I'm down now. I can't possibly get up. I'm here now. 20 metres is quite a way.

But with Graham, what was the fall like? What happened? A trip or? I'm assuming, yeah, he just tripped over because he was running to the driver's seat trying to stop the ute and just fell over and goes, well, I'm down here now. I'm like a tortoise on my back. No way I can get up and keep trying to save my over and goes, well, I'm down here now. I'm like a tortoise on my back. No way I can get up and keep trying to save my brother's life.

Nah, I'm down now. I might have a little snooze. Fair enough. And then the message says, thankfully, Marcus was able to get the ute and stop it. Dad came out covered in dust, shaking, but thankfully not injured. And I just replied, I'm just dwelling on some details here, Jane. What were you doing? And she goes, oh, well, I was too far away.

And I was like, so here's my dad being crushed by a vehicle. Graham just falls over and goes, well, I'm down now. I'm just going to stay down. And mum's just watching from a distance going, ah, that's no good. I'm like, what the fuck? That's horrific. Your dad's fine? Yeah, he's fine.

It's like we've said before, our fight or flight is tested in moments like that. I reckon I would have been fine. Yeah, that doesn't happen with my family. My family are terrible in high-stress situations, really bad. I remember once we came back from the Easter show and we pulled into the driveway and the front door was open and mum ran into the garage and got the baseball bat and lined all the kids up behind her. If you're in there, get out! Wait, what did she think was happening?

Thought there was a rapist home intruder lurking through the corridors. And they left the door open. At 4.30, it was like daylight savings, it was the middle of the day. And she goes, get out of there! And then my grandfather turns the corner and she goes to hit him in the head and he just went, oh, I'm just coming back to get my fucking bike. She almost killed my grandfather because she thought we were robbed. No.

And I had to run back to the car and get my gag magic bag. It was all very stressful. That's a great bag. Great bag. Very different lives. Very. For sure. Gag magic.

I loved it. Mitch, would you settle down on a farm? Oh, no. Not when we're after do work. Yeah. Like I might, you know, get like an acre or something where I can just kind of have space and then maybe, you know, if I had an actual farm, lease it out to people that are actually going to use it. But like, I wouldn't want to work on a farm.

Oh, I can't think of anything worse. Yeah. Working on a farm would be hard. A hobby farm, you know? Yeah. An Airbnb farm would be nice. A hobby farm, you know? Yeah. An Airbnb farm would be nice for a weekend, wouldn't it? Oh, they're lovely. Oh, they're gorgeous.

So sweet. I was actually looking at Airbnbs with my friends. We were going to do a trip to Blue Mountains or Mudgee or something right before lockdown, and so I don't need to tell you the end of the story. Oh, yeah, well, I was involved because I'm a friend. I wasn't involved. No, neither of you were invited. Oh. Yeah. I was, though, so you can end of the story. Oh, yeah. Well, I was involved because I'm a friend. I wasn't involved. No, neither of you were invited. Oh.

Yeah. I was, though, so you can all go fuck yourself. Oh, Sam was going. No, Sam was. Sam was going. Sam was actually there when we were looking at the Airbnbs. Oh. Yeah.

Oh, cool. That was the day that he couldn't find my apartment. Oh, yes, of course. From the story earlier on. You were both invited, but you never show up, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah. Makes plenty sense.

You know what we were saying the other day? We've noticed that every time Jen is trying to get out of something, her excuses are always horrific. But they're true. But then by Monday you're fine. Yes. It's like every time we ask her to hang out on a Friday night or a Saturday night, she's like, I've been hit by a bus

and I'm concussed. My skull's broken in three places, so I might not be able to make it. Sorry. And then come Monday, miraculous recovery. No, but it's always true. Interesting, Jenna. It is. No, it really is.

It's always. It honestly is true. The vaccine's thrown me for six. Oh, it did. I was unwell. Very. And this particular invite, she didn't even have to go anywhere. It was my bloody Zoom trivia.

Yes, I know, because I went to sleep at 6pm. Oh, I forget you missed the Zoom trivia. Yes. I was like, control, alt, delete every Jenna-related question. Yeah, all the Jenna-related questions were gone. Yeah. Oh, yeah, cute invite for that Zoom trivia, by the way, guys. Oh.

I think you'll find that you didn't respond to me on Facebook. I think you'll find that you didn't respond to me on Facebook. I think you'll find that you didn't message me. No, I didn't message you. I invited you on Facebook. There's a lot of tension in the air today, guys. I'm fine. No, everything's good now. Did I not invite Sam?

I'm sure I would have. Nope. Uh-oh. But then I also did delete everyone that was on the day of. I deleted everyone that had an RSVP'd yes to my Zoom trivia. So maybe you won't be there. I swear I would have invited you. I just thought this was my rationale when it came to deciding

who do I invite to Zoom trivia because, you know, there's all these acquaintances I could have invited. But then I thought, have they been to my house? If yes, they're invited. Right. And so, Sam, I would have invited you. Okay. What a fucking bitch he turned out to be It's all good

I had a great time Anyway, I get my second one on Saturday Oh great Who cares Where's the tension come from? I was having a great episode I'll be fully vaccinated That's exciting

I'm in a great mood. Yeah, well, you're not stuck with a bloody dodgy violin, are you? Yeah, true. Put it back on Marketplace and sign it. Go Mitchell Coombs, sign violin. I can't morally do that, sell someone a dud product, even though I produce this podcast. I think this is a great episode.

People love seeing the loose ends of a show. We're too polished. We're too polished. We're too professional. Okay, we have several issues happening, but being too polished is not one of them. No, not today. I can assure you of that. No, I'm talking in general, but that's the way I like it.

Oh, we're definitely less polished than when we began. We started as a brand-new Mercedes. Now we're like a two-year-old with some scuffs, but we like them because it builds character. I like that. Yeah. Hey, do you remember last week we were listening to that Gaga remix? Yeah, the sign from above.

Yeah, and we said, I wonder if someone out there can do a really cooked remix of our show opener. Did we get one? We did. Oh, my God. Yes. We did. Oh, my God.

So our brand new Facebook moderator, Callum, who apparently is a man of many skills, is also like an audio producer. I don't know. Oh, my God. And he sent this one through. So maybe this will be a note to end on because I want to get the fuck out of this shithole. Well, you're in your house.

I meant this shithole is in episode 84. Oh, sorry. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So do you want to hear this shit show of an opener? Yeah, made by Callum Cancel. Go for it. Shit.

People do some weird shit. Television legend Kerri-Ann Kennelly fell several metres from a trapeze While performing in the musical Pippet, Pippet, Pippet, Pippet Some things make more sense than others Ring Pike's noiseries What noisery? Pike's P-Y-K-E-S-S ring Pikes nurseries Hey! Hey! Hey! Thanks, Jocelyn, for the rude shots of young adulthood. Why is being alive so expensive? Why is being alive so expensive?

Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of bitches. Is that me? Don't forget Chenna. No, no, no. Now, here's Mitch Turi and Mitchell Coon.

There we go. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Isn't that great? I actually don't mind this part. The rest of it was cooked, but this bit, that backing track. Yeah, it's a bit cloudy. I like it.

This could be nice for season four. Ooh, that's a much bigger discussion. I quite like it, though. I feel like an auntie or an uncle when, like, your nephew shows you what they've been working on and you have to go, oh, what, that was lovely. Lovely. Oh, I really enjoyed that.

And you did that? Oh. You did so well. We did say on the podcast, make it as shit of a remix as possible. So I think it's fine if we don't compliment Callum's work. It does take a certain skill to make something shit on purpose. Right, Sam? Completely agree.

Very true. That was shit and I loved it. I'm impressed. And a good note to end on. We've had this conversation before, Sam and I, where it's like when you're trying to make something look shit, it's actually harder. You're like, oh, my God, it looks too good. Yeah.

That's why I did this episode. Yeah. I just want everyone to know that it was an active choice, just like Mitchell just confirmed. All right. Thanks for listening, everyone. 84 will now be known as the cursed episode. Anyway, we hope by some miracle from above this podcast managed

to make you feel at least 2% better today. I doubt it, but, you know, that's our target. I doubt it too. I think it was three today. More like three or four. I doubt it. No two. We're up at 6% today, baby.

I hope we could make you feel better. Don't forget, leave us a review. Look at you being glass half full for once. It's nice to see. Oh, God, I love a full glass of anything. What do you see here? I'm going to hold up my wine. Yeah. Do I need to top up? I see a drinking problem.

Hey! Alright, guys, we love you. Stay safe. Look after yourselves. Get vaxxed. And we will see you next week. Catch you soon. Bye-bye. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.