Is It Just Me? - #88: Repulsed By Gay Sex with Alright Hey

Episode Date: November 1, 2021

Alright Hey is our guest host this week, celebrating the release of his new Spotify original podcast with Coombs, Trash Alley!In this episode:Alright Hey calls out Churi for ghosting him on Tinder (05:43)What’s with all the James Corden hate? (13:45)Pandora bracelets (16:42)This week’s ‘Is It Just YOU?’ from a listener (19:54)Is rimming not for you? (23:48)What do SKUNKS smell like? (27:47)TikTok School (31:26)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (44:52)Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Television legend Kerri-Ann Kennelly fell several metres from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pivot. Keep your eyes off down. Some things make more sense than others. Ring Pike's Nurseries. What nursery? Pike's. P-Y-K-E-S. P-Y-A.

K as in kill. P-Y-A. K as in kill. P-Y-E. K! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches.

What about me? Don't forget Kenner. Who? Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coots. 88, not a moment late. Hello and welcome, Mitchell Coots. Here we are. Hi, darling.

How fabulous. I've got both of my podcast husbands in the one room. All right, hey, it's here. Hello, darling. Welcome. Come on in. Hello, darling. Take a seat.

So good to be here, love. It's a big show. Great to have you. Is it a prerequisite Mitch that both of your co-hosts must be larger than you? I hadn't actually realised that. Is that on the hiring form of the resume? Must be bigger than me. No. How rude. If you guys missed the announcement, alright Hay and I have teamed up for a new Spotify original podcast, which is called... Trash Alley. It's amazing. Wow. Mitch, I wish Trash Alley meant something to you.

It's actually disappointing that it doesn't. It does mean something to me. What is Trash Alley? What is the name derived from? Trash Alley is the part of a club that you go to when you need a sticky break. Well, yeah, but Trash Alley is one particular smoko area. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to get it to get it, but you don't have to one particular smoko area. Yeah. Yeah.

You've got to get it to get it, but you don't have to get it to get it. It's in Ark. It's in Ark. Ark in Sydney, yes. I've never been to Ark. The way you say Ark. It's in Ark. It is in Ark.

Our third wheel prize keeper, Jen, is here. Jen, have you been to Ark before? I'm sure. Yes, I have. Have you been to Ark? Yes. And I haven't even been to Ark. I think I've been to Ark with you, Trevor.

Yes, I'm pretty sure we have. But anyway, whether you've been to Ark or not, I think everyone knows that feeling of when you're really fucked at a nightclub and you've got a bit of liquid courage. You start making friends of total strangers who you probably won't even remember the next day. That's the vibe we're going for, you know, on Trash Alley. Okay, so we know the name, Trash Alley.

Love it. The name's great. It's already caught my attention. But what are you going to be talking about week by week? So, yeah, you think about the sort of things that you would make small talk about when you're making a new best friend at the nightclub. You might be talking about, you know, pop culture, what TV shows are happening. Or you could be completely fucking pouring your heart and soul out and having a mad DNA,

maybe even a cry in the bathroom. You know what I mean? That's the vibe. That's what we're going for. It's a nice premise. I do like it. Yeah, it's a bit of fun. Who came up with it?

Was it you, Matthew? No, it was actually Mitch's idea. Do you's what we're going for. It's a nice premise. I do like it. Yeah, it's a bit of fun. Who came up with it? Was it you, Matthew? No, it was actually Mitch's idea. Do you know what I've just realised? Yeah. It was the same thing that happened when I came up with the idea for Is It Just Me? Yeah. Where I was so excited. I thought of Trash Alley in the Shower.

Called Matthew, didn't fucking answer his phone. Same with you. Long road trip. I was thinking of a podcast idea. I came up with it. Didn't answer the phone. We're both eating. That's the problem. I'm just busy, but you know what? If you need to call me, you need to

give me a little hot take first. You need to say, hey, got a podcast idea. Then I'll answer the phone. I've got no fucking time. Because what if he just wants a yarn? Then I'm stuck on the phone for 45 minutes. When have I ever just wanted a yarn? I don't do that. Yeah, you're not a yarn, but you're an event person. No, but our voice messages on Facebook Messenger have gone through the bloody room.

Yeah. We just voice message basically now. Shut away. Speaking of which, you guys never answering the phone. Can I tell you another thing you have in common? Yeah, what is it? You know how you, Mitch, you are like basically nocturnal because you finish late, you know, sleep in.

Oh, the only person I've met that's worse than you when it comes to being nocturnal is Mr. All Right Hey Here. Well, what's your excuse? I called him at 2pm the other day and he goes, love, why have you woken me up at the crack of dawn? Well, I mean, I don't know. I just work better, like, at night time. My social life is at night time.

I used to spend, before I was doing what I'm doing now, I was literally working 4 and 5 a.m. shifts at McDonald's as a barista, you know, making everybody's coffee. So my life was getting up that early all the time. Now that I work for myself and I have the freedom, I'm like, baby girl, I will be sleeping in as long as humanly possible. And also no one to annoy you. No one can message you late at night because they're all fucking asleep.

Yeah, and you get your work done. Yeah, that's it. I like that. Am I that person you're referring to? one to annoy you. No one can message you late at night because they're all fucking asleep. Yeah, and you get your work done. Yeah, that's it. I like that. Am I that person you're referring to? Someone to annoy you? No, because now that you're unemployed, he does message me at midnight. I fucking hate it. Yeah, that's true.

What do you mean unemployed? I used to drive home, well, technically unemployed. Nah, I work for Spotify now, darling. Me and I have a podcast. It's a limited run, Jenna. It hasn't been renewed for season two. We should actually mention that. You can only get it on Spotify.

It's out now, episode one. As long as you've got the Spotify app, it's free. You don't have to have a Spotify subscription or whatever. Just get the Spotify app and that's where we'll be Wednesday, 7am every week. That's very exciting. You don't have to come over and be a trash bag love. Oh, is that what your guests are called, trash bags?

No, the guests aren't trash bags, the listeners are. Oh, I won't be a trash bag love. Oh! Is that what your guests are called? Trash bags? No, the guests aren't trash bags. The listeners are. Oh, I won't be a listener. I'll only be coming if I'm invited as an esteemed guest. Imagine asking me to be a listener. You can come as a listener. That's ridiculous. We'll have Jenna.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Can I tell you, actually, the weirdest thing about this new podcast, Trash Alley, is that we have a producer that is actually so helpful. Capable. And I was like, Jenna, I've got expectations now. Which I will not be meeting. Yeah, no, I wouldn't expect you to.

My expectations is actually that you'll do less. It's great to have you here, All Right Hay. Thank you so much. I'm honoured. Now, it's a good thing you're here, All Right Hay, because, Mitchell, it's great to have you here, All Right Hay. Thank you so much. I'm honoured. Now, it's a good thing you're here, All Right Hay, because Mitchell, there's something that All Right Hay wanted to raise with you while you're in the same room, Mitchell. Oh, we're going to do this now? Yeah.

Oh, this is so exciting. So last time, so I've been wanting to like come on this podcast and co-host for a very, very, very long time. So, you know, maybe I'll make you wait a very fucking long time. time. So, you know, maybe I'll make you wait a very fucking long time. Well, we're going to take a little trip down memory lane to a time where we were

both on Tinder. Both of us were on Tinder. Years ago. 2018, am I right? We were both in committed monogamous relationships. But when we weren't, we were both on Tinder and you had swiped right to me first so i had swiped

right to you and we had matched it was in a match straight away okay and anyway we hit it off on tinder for like i'm gonna say two to three weeks hold on hold on hit it off as in what spoke yeah we were talking on tinder for quite a little like two or three weeks this is where i was shocked a hundred percent and i get it's not a mistake because i'll get to it okay oh because i'm very handsome no i was just desperate and um but i was a lesbian you were straight i mean it would never look it'd never work no goodness me pretty sure you buy tops top top yeah yeah yeah But the point is, you then ghosted me. And I was like, oh, okay, next, swipe, see ya. And you'd ghosted me and I just kind of like forgot about it.

Anyway, flash forward to Mardi Gras. It was the Mardi Gras where you were, Mitchell, on the kiss float. You're on the kiss float. And I'm trying to find Mitchell in the crowd of the kiss people. And I'm walking through and all I hear is, all right, hey! And I go, who the fuck is calling my name? Not this Mitchell. And he goes, all right, hey!

And I look up to Mitch Turi in a fucking rooster outfit, standing on top of the kiss float, screaming down at me in front of everyone standing in the marshalling area of Mardi Gras, screaming down, it's me! We matched on Tinder! And I looked up and said, yeah, and you ghosted me. And I walked up. This didn't happen! It did happen!

No offence, Mitchell, but I do rely more on All Right Hayes' memory than yours. I've got a shocking memory. He's got a shocking memory. I have a severe brain illness. Yeah. What? I can't believe you don't remember that. And I mean, I can't get it mistaken because you're the only fucking one in a rooster.

How was our banter? Was it hot? I don't know. I can't remember. I think I've blocked it out because it triggers me. Did you like me? Was I nice? Did you think maybe?

I thought the conversation was going pretty well. But I also felt like that we were just talking in more of a professional setting than a flirt. Like we weren't flirting and I wasn't expecting a date out of it. So it was a LinkedIn chat. Yeah. I don't know. It was a bit like that. Networking.

It was a bit like that. But I don't know. You were networking. Networking. It was a bit like that, but I don't know. You just ghosted me. I am so sorry. See, this is the thing I was shocked about. Even a couple of days worth of banter, I'm like, oh, this is going well. But weeks. I was like, holy shit. You guys spoke for weeks.

Yeah, but it wasn't every day. Right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, it wasn't every day, but the conversation went for like two to three weeks before. And then it was like a few months or so until Mardi Gras. And yeah, you've called out to me and I've gone, okay, we're not having, first of all, you're in a fucking rooster outfit. Second of all, you've ghosted me. We must have ended it on amicable.

We must have been. What I'm thinking, because I did the maths in my mind and I was like, you met your current boyfriend Hayden on Tinder. The reason you ghosted him must have been because it was going well with Hayden. You can't chat to two guys at once. Oh, yes. What year was this? 2018.

I haven't worked it out. It would have been, yeah, because that was before that Mardi Gras and that was the only time you were on Tinder. And I also came out in 2018. Yeah. So it couldn't have been earlier. You're right. It would have been because I met Hayden because I got a better offer.

Yeah. Thank God so did I. Sorry. It's worked out well. I'm really sorry. Because I got a better offer. Yeah. Thank God so did I. Sorry. It's worked out well. I'm really sorry. I didn't even realise. It's not like I beat myself up about it. Now kiss and make up.

No, no. La Mayo. It's a big show, love. How shocking. Where would we have gone on a date? I don't even want to think about it. Get some romantic music and you tell him where you would have taken him. I'll make it up for you.

I'll make it up to you. I'll make it up to you. I'll show you what I would have done if. Oh, no, sorry. That's what I should have played when you revealed it to me. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Here we go. So he would have hit it off. And this is in a world where Hayden was never born.

And I confirmed that the relationship could work. I reply to you, I go, you want a mate? You say, fuck yeah. And I say, where? And you go, pick me up. We'll find a way. And of course, we're both very lazy, so we end up in drive-thru. Drive-thru Macca's.

Stanmore. Kensington. Kensington, okay. I'm already thinking, I wouldn't give him a date too. I don't know about you, Matt. Pardon me? Taking me to Maccas. That would be the way to my car.

That is a selling point. Yes. See? Maybe this would have worked. And then you judge me by my order. I get a double beef and bacon on a steamed bun. I get a double cheeseburger with no pickles on a steamed bun. I get two pickles on a steamed bun.

Oh, my God. Hear that? on a steamboat. Oh my god. Oh my god. Hear that? Wedding bells. Oh my god. I'm blushing. Then I'd shout. I'd shout.

For the meal I'd pay for it. Yeah. Then we'd go to the parking lot and let's just say we didn't order one but there is a soft serve.

Oh you are foul. With a big old flake. I'm more of a McFlurry. Sorry, it's fine. Messy. Mix it round. Oh, yeah, true. Yeah, oh, messy.

Ah. There was a hand gesture involved with that. I don't know that people listening don't know. It's an audio medium. Yeah, he'll learn. Was that hand gesture meant to look like wanking? Is that what you were getting at? They would have felt it through the...

Oh, cool. We might have to rethink our current situations. Thank you for telling me that story. No, you know what? I am so glad that you ghosted me and I'm so glad that I had the courage of giving you an FU when you yelled out to me in a fucking rooster out there. I can't get over the fact that you were in a rooster out there. I was on top of the world.

Because you know what? Everything was meant to be because we're both with the most perfect people now. Yeah, me. And I'm very happy. So I'm very happy and cheers to you for ghosting me. Cheers. Thank you. Yeah.

Because now my life is perfect. That's beautiful. Sorry, I don't know what I'm laughing at. Everything happens for a reason. Yeah, you're right. I'm glad that happened. Thanks for staging the intervention on the show. If you're first time listening to the show, welcome.

We start the show the same way every week too. Is it just me? Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch and I normally do one, but when we have a guest here, Jenna does one. So you've got a good one ready to go? I sure do. They're always shocking.

I'm always shocked at how good Jenna's idioms actually are. Yeah, they're sometimes surprising. But, you know, maybe one of these days it'll end up in her own junk. Yep. We also have a TikTok school happening later in the show. Yes. Which I know nothing about, but it's when you school me on TikTok trends. Yeah, because I don't know if you've noticed, Matt,

but Mitchell's way too lazy to post TikToks himself. I could be huge. No, I've noticed. So I'd like to give him a few ideas on the show, get him to do some stuff that is inspired by other TikToks. And today I want to get him to do something that you've done on your TikTok. We'll get to that later. It's one of my favourite videos that Matt does.

Go to Pancakes on the Rocks at one in the morning. Are you, bitch? I'm in! I'm in! Okay, let's begin the show. Well, what have we got? Like, what is everyone thinking? Like, mine's a little bit filthy, so I might leave it to the

end because it might turn people off. What do you have? I'm not going first. I don't know. Well, I'll go first. I haven't listened to the show, so you can tell me how it's done. True, true. And I'll go first because I don't know how to podcast. Have you heard Trash Alice? The trash part's true. I'll begin

and then we'll see how we all feel from there. Okay, let's go. Is it just me or... Do you actually like James Corden? Oh. I think he's inoffensive. I don't, like, love him, but I don't hate him. Well, the reason I bring this up in front of you...

Oh, no. ...is because there's a striking resemblance. Oh, fuck off. Why? Why is that a negative? I've never thought that. Do people really tell you that you look like James Corden? People think that I'm James Corden all the time.

Well, it's the white blonde stubble. Yeah, stubble. It's when I have the stubble. Yeah, it is the stubble. It really comes out. Oh, now that I'm just like laid the focus on you, I'm like, okay, I get it. But I've never thought that myself. No.

Can you do a British accent? I'll close my eyes. Not really. Well, I know I'm not going to do that because I'll that myself. No. Can you do a British accent? I'll close my eyes. Not really. Well, no, I'm not going to do that because I'll have to. I'll get cancelled. You'll get cancelled for doing a British accent? Yeah, well, you never know. In five years it'll be wrong.

True. Very true. I love him. I think he's great. Why do people hate him? Because there's a lot of discourse around James Corden. People don't like him. I think just because he is just kind of constantly popping up.

Like he hosts this, he hosts that. It's like an oversaturation. But I don't personally feel that way. Him in the prom, I loved. Yes. Him in anything else. Oh, yes, I did see him in that. I roll.

Yeah. Cats, Ransom. He's rolling cats. Oh, God, I forgot he did cats. He in the prom was really good. I liked him in the prom. But I like with him and the carpool karaoke stuff. Oh, yeah.

Groundbreaking. Like, it was great at first, but then it just, you know, it drags on. Yeah. Once he had Paul McCartney in the car for like a one hour takeover, I'm like, I'm over here. One hour. There just started to be people who were like, did we really need a carpool karaoke with this person?

Yeah. I agree. He's like, welcome back. Carpool karaoke with Jameel Jameel. I'm like, I don't want that. They're getting non-performers in there. Do you know what my favourite interview has become recently? Like, I used to be into Carpool Karaoke.

I was like, oh, this is a nice format. It's really relaxed. Yeah. And you're kind of, it's like an informal chat with the celeb. But now I'm loving the Vogue 73 questions thing. Oh, I love a 73 questions. It's like perusing their house. I love it.

How the fuck, and I've been thinking about this for so long, how the fuck do they do them? Because no way Kylie Jenner can remember 72 fucking answers back to back. They're not answering them live because they're clearly rehearsed and pre-recorded. Yeah, like there's no lag when they're thinking of an answer. Is there like an earwig in their ear giving them the answers

that they've clearly given pre, like they've written them down and thought about it, and they're going, Kylie, this was your answer? Or is the guy via, is no one actually asking the questions they're putting in post? Is there a teleprompter? I need to know. I'm thinking teleprompter, like written with a sharpie

on a white piece of cardboard, and someone's behind dropping them as they go. Yeah, and then they just add that gay Vogue worker's voice in at the end. Because, you know, Kylie's eyes just need to wander away and down to the card and back up and answer. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, you're going to go second. All right. And is it just me for us? Yeah. Yeah. You're good to go. Do we do the intro? We need it, yeah.

Yeah. So do the intro. And you don't need to say, is it just me? Because we've got that. And then you just go after it. Fabulous. From the awe onwards. The awe onwards.

Yeah. All right. Let's go. Is it just me or... Are Pandora charm bracelets fucking shit? Yes. I've never owned one, actually. Like, have they not just always been the worst thing in the world?

But, like, how did they become such a prominent brand? Do you reckon they're still a thing? Like, 14-year-old girls these days are still trying to collect all the little charms? Not 14-year-old girls. Is it younger than that? It's older than that. Oh. 50-, 60-year-old women still have them.

Oh, really? This is what I'm confused about. Well, the Pandora stores are always so busy. On the weekend, there was a line up around the corner to get into a Pandora store. They're not going for the original Pandora charm bracelets. They're not going, let me get a diamond encrusted R for my daughter, Rebecca. They're just getting the Pandora rings or the other bracelets. I mean, how do you know?

I reckon they're literally lining up because they're still releasing collections of new charms for your bracelets. How much does one charm, which is basically a freaking tiny key ring, let's call a spade a shovel here, how much does one little charm set you back? I'm actually not sure, but I thought, yeah, check it for us. But I reckon when they first came out, they were like $80. Like, I think they were quite expensive. It probably varies. But, yeah, it's like they always try and collect them.

Like, oh, my God, my first boyfriend got me this one and then they break up. I throw it off a bridge. Oh, yeah. When my sister's, like, graduated uni, my mum's like, we got you a little graduating cap charm and you can get little books and the dates. They look heavy. Like, if you need the charms.

It would be uncomfortable. And like, just dang. So you're not a Pandora girl, Jenna? No, no, I do have a Pandora necklace. Oh, you're wearing it right now. Yeah, I am. Oh, what's on it? Oh, sorry, Jenna.

Do you think they're foul too, Matthew? No, no. I will say like the Pandora rings and the necklaces, it's literally the only thing I have a problem with is the bracelets with the charm. But just tacky, sorry. And I just go, how did we let, as a society, how did we let those bracelets become such a moment in time. It says more about us.

It's a cute icebreaker. Tell me what each of your charms mean. If someone used that as an icebreaker, I'd leave. So Disney x Pandora the Alice in Wonderland theme collab is $99 Australian dollars per charm. What?

And then if you go to a generic charm, this is a bumblebee at 69. This is a dark moon, 79. So they're not fucking cheap. They're still expensive. And you know a Pandora girl because you can hear them coming. It sounds like they've got a chain mail suit on. My grandma, who had really scaly skin, she's Dutch,

would moisturise like there's no tomorrow. Lennel and moisturise. You could smell it. Oh, I hate the smell. She lived in Wollongong. she hit Hurstville and you go, she's here. And she would moisturise, but then you could hear it wet on the channel. A slimy.

You can hear it coming down the hallway. Like a new puppy with a bell on. Or a lint bunny at Easter. You go, that's a Pandora man. Good, Ijen, that's very true. They're shit. But if, that's a Pandora man. Good idjim. That's very true. They're shit. But if you're wearing one, congrats.

No judgement. Congrats on what you've achieved and what you've been commended for by a charm. Is it just me? You can follow the show online. Just search Couple of Mitches. If you don't, you're a dickhead. Yeah, while you're on our Instagram at Couple of Mitches, head to the link in bio.

Our mugs are still available but not for for much longer, if you want to get a mug. We had a bulk order. Yes, we're going to be launching our new merch soon, but it might be a good idea to just send a link to a friend or family and say, this is what I want for Christmas, bitch, if you want a mug. Haven't got one yet? Have an order. Definitely. Also, I just

remembered having Is It Just You coming up. Oh, good. Jesus, we're going to have so many today. So many thoughts. I'll just do it now. I'm fucking, yeah. Should we do it now? Do it now, yeah. We always do it at this point.

So we are bringing Is It Just Me and we're giving it a chance for the listeners to bring in Is It Just You. So this one's Denise. This is hers for the week. Is it just me or do you see no issue with eating foods straight out of the containers or packets that you buy them in from the supermarket, even if they were not created to be eaten that way? So, for example, I have no problem with getting myself a big old spoonful

of peanut butter and eating it just like that. Love you guys. Love you. Fair enough, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, no, not just you. I remember I once ate a whole banana cake like it was a muesli bar. What's a banana cake? You know how they come in like a loaf? Like banana bread. Oh, banana bread. No, but. Not to see you. I remember I once ate a whole banana cake like it was a muesli bar. What's a banana cake?

You know how they come in like a loaf? Like banana bread? No, banana bread. No, but it was a banana cake. It was like icing and shit. Oh, that's delicious. Like it was a long cake. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's fair. Because you've got the plastic wrap. You can roll it back. Yeah, I was a bit inebriated at the time. I wouldn't usually eat cake like a muesli bar. Denise is speaking my language because I hate washing up. Yeah, true. So I almost everything, like

every chance I can, I'll just have it straight out of the packet. I'm that person who if I'm making a wrap or a sandwich it's going straight on the kitchen bench. And then I'm eating it over the sink and then I'm wiping the crumbs and cleaning the kitchen but I'm not dirtying a plate for the

fucking sake of it. No, no, that's true. I was going to say, this makes me sound so disgusting. Sometimes I don't want to wash a plate either, but I want to watch TV. So I just get like, I basically use a towel as a bib. Like I'm a baby. I do that too. So the crumbs fall on me. That's shocking.

Because I don't want to dirty a plate. I do that too. I have it as a bib and then one down here as well, just in case extra. I don't even get to the bib stage. I'm literally eating over the sink. You don't even sit down with it. You don't get to sit. I've started putting a pillow on my gut and then the plate on top.

So the plate is maybe a centimetre from my chin. So I don't even have to move, pick it up to my chin. I just eat it and it's right. The plate is right there. You know what's so bad is in lockdown I've put on so much weight that this little belly has now come out. And when I go to a restaurant, my belly is in the way. So I've got to pick up my plate so it doesn't drip.

So it doesn't drip down the side of me. Last night I went out and I literally had the plate like up here and I was like trying to get it. Yeah. I've got to tell you too. It kind of looks more elegant though in a way. It does. If you hold it up.

Hold the plate up right near the chin. It doesn't feel elegant. It feels like, oh my God, I'm huge. I got stuck in a booth the other day. It doesn't feel elegant. It feels like, oh, my God, I'm huge. I got stuck in a booth the other day. It was truly mortifying. What do you mean? Like a booth seat. Like it was a boomerang.

With a table in the middle. You've got to, like, get in and squeeze around. It's awful. Those tables that are, like, screwed into the floor need to be fucking illegal. I agree. I agree. No one's going to steal your shit table. Literally.

And, like, I just need it out just another five centimetres and I can breathe. Yeah. Oh my God. We need a podcast called A Couple of Bitches. I love it. A bitch about being huge love. Or I could just come on your podcast. Yeah, maybe.

We'll workshop that. Okay, we'll workshop that. That is something I'd cry about in Trash Alley with a girl. I'd be like, that's a table. Sit down. I want to sit down, but I can't. So I could come on. I could brainstorm.

Anyway, keep the is it just you's coming because I don't want this idea of Mitchell's to fall flat. This is your baby, the is it just you's. It won't. Look at my phone and Matt can corroborate. I just got two new is it just you's. Oh, okay. They're coming in hot and heavy. People love this.

People have got shit to get off their chest. All right. Well, it's my is it just me for now. All right coming in hot and heavy. People love this. People have got shit to get off their chest. All right, well, it's my Is It Just Me for now. All right, let's do it. Is it just me or? Is rimming not for you? I'm talking about rim jobs. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Bit of backdoor lickety split, you know what I'm saying? Oh, fuck me. I tried a couple of years ago. You didn't try very hard. I'm sensing it's not just me because you all look repulsed. No. No, I like it. I don't like receiving, but I do enjoy giving.

Right. No, that's fine. Don't kink. I'm not. I'm not. No, I am kink shaming. Just kidding. This is not for me.

It's actually, I just find it confusing because I feel like it's something that I'm supposed to enjoy giving and receiving, but I'm not down for either. No. As soon as someone starts, you know, trying to bury their head back there, I'm like, ah, ah, ah. No, no. Really?

Stay away from there with your tongue. No. I agree. I don't enjoy getting it done at all. And, in fact, it's very sparsely happened to me in my life. I don't enjoy getting it done at all. And in fact, it's very sparsely happened to me in my life. I don't enjoy it. But I do like giving it. And I just like it when somebody's enjoying what is happening.

And my partner seems to enjoy it. Clearly. Yeah. Yeah, right. Matt? I think I've done it once. Yeah, I've done it once. And I was like, no, no.

How long are you supposed to do them for? Because some people like them to go for ages. Thank you for asking. It's complimentary. So it's like, you know, it's like a sauce with your burger. You can have a bit of it now, a bit of it later. You don't have to have much of it. Just a little bit.

So it's not a big show. You just pop in for a bit. Yeah, yeah, like a couple minutes and then you might flip and then you might do some other things while you're down there. If it goes for any longer than a couple minutes. Christ, I'm looking for the Listerine bottle. Oh, God. Nah, can't do it.

Can't do it. All right, well, Matt's got my back, you filthy piece of shit. I don't know why. It might be a bit of internalised homophobia, but I'm just, like, repulsed by gay sex. Oh, my God. I'm just, like, I've never really been thrilled. I thought I was asexual for a little bit at one point. As did I.

Because I just, I don't know, some things we do, I go, fuck, that's just not right, is it? Yeah, on paper. That's not holy. Yeah, it's not holy. It's fucking, on paper, it sounds fucked. I agree. But then once you're in the moment, you're like, yeah, all right. I sometimes hear homophobes.

Off you go. Go for it. Off you go. I sometimes hear homophobes go, it's not what God intended. And I go, you're like yeah all right i sometimes hear homophobes off you go go for it i sometimes hear homophobes go it's not what god intended and i go you're right it really it doesn't make logical sense you know one of my straight friends um who is female was hooking up with straight men and one time we were all out having cocktails and she was like everybody else like i'm just i'm just like want to make sure everybody else is like having men ask them to lick their assholes aren't they and everyone all the girls in the group were like darling what the fuck yeah apparently apparently girls as straight people are into it. Well, she apparently had, like, every guy she had been with loved a bit of a reach around

and a little bit of a lick down there. Yes. And all the other girls were like, that has never, we've never been asked to do that. But apparently one of my friends, she's like, every guy I encounter loves it. Yeah, but guys just love it so they can go back to their bros to say that we did it. Probably repulsed by it, but it's just a score. Like, it's just a little trophy to have. Yeah, they're like, oh, look what a giving lover I am.

Yeah. I did it for 20 seconds, you know, licked a coithole. That's what I'm learning from watching Love Island. You know, it's a great show. That would have to be the only thing you're learning from watching that show. No, I'm learning that fucking men cry. The men on Love Island this season don't stop crying. About what?

Oh, about the girls and they're crying. They go, oh, Rachel went home. She wouldn't let me lick her off. On the island. That's a direct quote. I don't know where I was going with that. Well, that's all right. That's my memory, Matt.

I don't remember. I honestly don't remember. It's a problem, but it's okay. We forgive him for it. Jenna, you're up. Do you want to hear this with your or is it just me? I'm ready. Let's do it. Is it just me

or Are you curious about how a skunk smells? Jenna, don't you remember us being in LA and having the skunk in the yard? Hang on, there's a story here What? No

You weren't in LA with me, no That was Amy, I think you're thinking of Right, and I've just thought that you were there for some reason Anyway, one night we heard a rustling out the front And our skunk is in the front yard And it sprayed us I didn't realise they sprayed Yeah, through their arsehole Through their butt arse A skunk is in the front yard and it's sprayed us. I didn't realise they sprayed.

Yeah, through their arsehole. Through their arse. I thought they just had this unwavering stench about them. I didn't realise they created it. No, it's like an octopus inking. Yeah, right. You're right. That's foul. What did it smell like?

Describe it. It literally smells like, you know, those fart bombs that you like rip open. Oh, yeah. And the smell did not go away because it got on my legs. And I swear, three days, I was like, I'd scrubbed myself three times in the shower. And I reckon I literally woke up and was like, I can still smell that fucking skunk. Oh, my God. Why do you ask, Jenna?

Where does this come from? I'm just curious. I see skunk photos and stuff. And just think I wonder if it actually smells. Yeah, peppy. Well, I'm also curious. And not just you, Jenna. It's all right. Oh, thank you.

No, that's good to know because I've been thinking about it. I'm so fine if I never find out. Yeah, same. But there's curiosity around it. No, yeah. Well, take it from me that you don't want. Because the smell itself, you got over that, but it lingered for days.

And every time we walked out of the house as well, we had to go down like the garden path to get out of the house and catch an Uber, we'd smell it. Oh, the remnants. That's fucked. So the skunk was just scared that you were there. Yeah. And the possums over there are fucked as well. Yeah.

No, they're fucked as well. They are. So our possums are like, oh, look at the little possum. They're still going to like, you know, you're like, but you go, oh, a possum. And it's got a little baby. Over there, their possums are like. Oh, really? Oh, my God.

They have like pointy noses. They look an odd shape. Are you thinking of a raccoon or something? No. No, seriously. No, Jesus, don't yell at me. Gurgle it. No, they call them opossums too. Likecoon or something? No. No, seriously. No, Jesus, don't yell at me. Gurgle it. No, they call them opossums too, like opossum.

Yeah, Mitchell's going to Google it. Yeah, get up opossum. Also, I want to ask Alexa about the skunks. Hey, Alexa, how do skunks work? Here's something I found on reference.com. A skunk spray is an oily liquid produced in glands that are located under its tail. The skunk ejects this liquid when it's threatened by predators.

Yeah. Skunks have high accuracy when spraying within 10 feet and can spray as far as 25 feet with lower accuracy. Also, it chose you. Yeah, absolutely. And did you see here, it was an oily substance, which is why I couldn't wash it off. Oh, that's fucked.

Yeah. Oh, my goodness. It literally sort of froze and then it jumped 180 and it just, its tail went up and it went at me. Like, it's like, it sounds like pissing. Like it was like pissing on me. Could you see the spray? Yeah.

Well, it was nighttime, but like, yes, you could. Oh my god. But yeah, Mitchell's got a photo up. That third photo on Google, that's what it looks like. What is that? I just found what an American possum looks like. Way less cute. And that one down in the corner as well is an accurate representation.

Yeah, they're foul. Yeah. If you want to have nightmares tonight, definitely look up possums in America. That's what I Googled. They look feral. That's my favourite Disney film, Possum in America. Oh, he goes to the big smoke. All right.

Well done, Jenna. Good idea. Hey, before we get out of here, we should do TikTok school, shouldn't we? Oh, my God. Let's do it. All right. well done, Jenna. Good to see you. Hey, before we get out of here, we should do TikTok school, shouldn't we? Oh, my God, let's do it. All right, Hayes here. And so who better to learn from? You're quite nifty on TikTok, aren't you?

Well, absolutely. I've seen a couple of them. Have you seen the ones? These are my absolute favourites. They're so ridiculous. He basically has one of those microphones. It's kind of like a karaoke microphone. And they sound all echoey. basically has one of those microphones. It's kind of like a karaoke microphone and they make,

they sound all echoey and he kind of treats it like a loudspeaker that you would hear at a school, you know, when you see someone over the school megaphone being like, to the office please, girls, come to the office. He just uses this karaoke microphone to shout at people over the balcony. It's amazing. This was the one that you posted during COVID. To the girls sitting on the chairs over there in the park we're in a lockdown love can you go home you're not exercising

you're congregating in a group not on not on and there's been so many more since then you're just yelling at people over the balcony i'm like that is so my sense of're just yelling at people over the balcony. I'm like, that is so my sense of humour, just yelling at people. Yeah, it really is. He just yells at people for fun. Yeah. Well, it genuinely was girls sitting in the park. When we were in lockdown, we weren't allowed to be in groups of more than two. You could be in a group of two if you're exercising. And they were sitting, five of them, in the park.

And yeah, I said, not on. I've got to call this out. Sorry. And now you should say everybody has done their own versions on TikTok and Instagram Reels. It's gone off on Reels as well. Brilliant. Yeah. So everyone's just using the voice.

I find that microphone so fun. That echoey karaoke mic. I've brought one with me today so that you can have a go. Now I'm going to turn it on. Let's have a listen to it when I turn it on. The Bluetooth device is ready to power. It's also a speaker

so you can play songs through it and sing, but we're not doing that today. You're just using it to rouse on people, because I love yelling, but you don't, Mitchell. I just got to make sure that the echo is turned all the way up. Oh, here we go. Look at that. Do you need the echo? Because it's like a PA system. Yeah. You do an example, here we go. Look at that. Do you need the echo? Because it's like a PA system.

You do an example. It brings, you know, because here we go. This is me. No echo. Yeah. To the girl sitting in the park. You know, it doesn't have the same ring as. No.

To the girl sitting in the park. Yeah. That's it. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. Not on. That not on is just so, like, it triggers me of high school.

Like, the teacher being not on, okay? Not on. So I'm going to give that to you, Mitch, and you're going to have a little go. So what I'm thinking is you head up to the kids' rooftop. We'll have you on the phone. Huh? And you shout at people off the balcony. Oh, it's going to be fucked.

We're going to move. Yeah. Okay, take it away from you for now. Sorry. So, maybe call my phone and you can take my phone to talk with, but then you're going to have to take your phone to film yourself so we can put it on TikTok. Fucking hell.

I didn't realise we were going on the roof. Well, we're not. You are. Oh, fuck. All right. So, this is where your improv skills come in handy. You've just got to think of a reason to rouse on some girls out there. Wait for an actual person, preferably.

Say that all again. I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall some days. And you reckon Trash Alley isn't going to be any fucking good. You can't even get it. Who's calling through now? Me. It's his phone. No one's following.

I've looked at the screen in this studio and there's a call coming through and I've gone, oh, my God, we've got someone on the line. Put them through. All right. Now, Mitch, you're going to have to run upstairs. Is that okay with you? Yeah, that's fine. Oh, God.

I think I'm leaning on a sound effect. Yeah, you are. Hold on. There we go. Spooky, spooky. Why does it sound so Halloween? You know. It does, doesn't it?

Oh, the hallway makes it really loud. See how much enjoyment I have with it now? This is why I make so many of them. If you go to my Instagram, actually, you'll see I used Matt's microphone to announce Trash Alley when we first released the podcast. And it's so much fun. I couldn't put that microphone down. Yeah. All right.

So you're up on the roof? Yep. You sound out of breath. All right. It's pitch black. There's nothing on camera. But you can turn the lights on up there. You've done it a million times.

We've been up there at night. No, they don't work. Bloody COVID. I can't play the fucking electricity bill in this place. Jenna, you're going to have to run there with your phone too so we have a lighting specialist.

There's a lighting on the way. This was the plan the whole time. Hold on. Jenna's going to come up and bring a light, darling. It's all good. I'm coming up. Okay, well now that Jenna and Mitch have both gone. Lock, Jenna. No, Jenna's going to come up and bring a light, darling. It's all good. I'm coming up. Okay, well, now that Jenna and Mitch have both gone. Lock the doors. We've taken over the podcast

now. This was the plan all along, like you said. Welcome to Trash Alley, guys. Welcome to Trash Alley, a Spotify original podcast. Is it? Yeah. That coffee button didn't work, Matt. So, um...

Jenna's here. Jenna's here. Good. Hello. Yep. All right, are we ready? Now, am I rousing on girls? Is that what we're doing?

Yeah, like, year nine girls or something like that. Yeah, okay, okay, okay. Attention, girls. This is for all girls In Kookaburra House If that is not you Please make your way To the hall

Kookaburra girls Stay Thank you Jeremy Mitchell I think we need a bit of a You're reading into my time Thank you, Jeremy. Thank you, Jeremy. Mitchell, I think we need a bit of a you're eating into my time. This is my time, not play time. Good touch, good touch. You are eating into my time.

Teachers have lives too. Oh, have you known tonight is the finale of Wet Worms? I'd like to get home. Thank you. I hate to do this. I hate to do this. This brings me no joy. But we have spoken.

Not once. Not twice. But thrice now about non-neutral bras under our school uniform now, girl. Leopard print, fluoro, and lace. Not on! This is therapeutic. Give Jenna a go. Jenna, your turn.

There you go. You hold this. Okay. Here we go. The person reversing their car out of the apartment, I'd like you to stop right now. I see you right now.

Stop the car. She's actually yelling at someone in real life. You see me? Stop it. Yeah, there you go. In the car park. We'll see what happens. Oh, no, I can't breathe.

All right, let's go down. Oh, my God. I was more frightened of Jenna that time. Wow. That was bloody brilliant. I can't believe that. So you were filming the whole thing, right? Jenna's quivering.

She's shaking. Oh, yeah, she does that when she gets a bit nervous. She's not good at confrontations. So, Matt, this is your concept. This is an all right, hey, original shouting shit through an echoey mic. Do you approve? Did they do a good job? Oh, absolutely, Jo.

Great. Well done. Cheers to that. Coming. No rush. I could tell you were walking down the stairs by how puffed you are, Mitch. What the stairs? All right, talk to you in a sec.

All right. Bye, love. Kisses. That was so cooked. What a journey we've just been on together, really. Would you ever do something that unhinged on Trash Alley? Uh, yeah. Oh, okay.

I thought you were going to say God, no, but yeah, sweet. Like, you'd have to give me a warning, though. Did he genuinely not know his number? No, no, no, I never tell him what he's going to do. Right, see, I'd want a little bit of a heads up. Welcome back, everybody. Listen to how breathless you are. No, I'm alright. You guys just talk for a bit.

Well, we should get out of here, shouldn't we? Is that the end of the show? Yeah. Did you enjoy it? I feel like it was a bit of edging. I thought we were just about to get into it and now it's like, see ya. We're done. Oh, okay. I will warn you though, Mitchell has a history of podcasts being cancelled. His podcast before this was cancelled. The Schneeby Committee? No, see ya. We're done. Oh, okay. I will warn you, though, Mitchell has a history of podcasts being cancelled. His podcast before this was cancelled. The Schneeby Committee?

No, well, that wasn't cancelled. That just had to be ended illegally. Right. Another podcast in the States had that name. I've got to see him. He's making shit up. In the States, not my cup of tea. I don't know why you're telling him this,

because you would also be affected by that if it were true that I have a history of podcasts being cancelled. No, because I'm on it. I know it won't. I know it won true that I have a history of podcasts being cancelled. No, because I'm on it. I know it won't. I know it won't be. I'm beloved by brands. Right. Yeah, ours is a Spotify original podcast.

Yeah. It's a little different. Oh, no. True. I actually can't cancel. It's more expensive. Oh, no. That's worse.

You've got nowhere else. Trash Alley. So people can get it now. It's available now to get Yeah Only on Spotify Yeah And there's new episodes

Every Wednesday So I think you just Get a bit of Is it just me On a Monday Bit of trash alley On a Wednesday And then the other day

I don't know Just fucking get a hobby It's like it's fine You've got mid to midnight Weeknights So you're busy Caught up in that And we must stress

That you don't need To have a Spotify Premium account or anything Yeah yeah Download the app You don't have to have A paid Spotify account or anything. Yeah, yeah. Download the app and listen. You don't have to have a paid Spotify account. If you've got an app, then yeah, you're good. That expression is, we must stress.

Well, because some people just don't understand. Because as you know, Mitch, some of our listeners are scabs. And so if they think they need to pay for it, oh, well, I won't be listening to that then. But no, I'm just telling you, it's on the house, mate. All right, we'll be back next week for 89. Yeah, we will be 89. And I won't be back next week, but if you want me back next week, but just harass the boys.

Yeah, if you want more, alright, hey, it's fine. There's Trash Alley. Oh yeah, forgot about that. Your own show. Why are you fucking begging us to bring you back? You've got another podcast. I just had a lot of fun and it seemed really easy and I got fed. Oh yeah. I mean, I paid for seemed really easy. And I got fed. Oh, yeah.

I mean, I paid for everyone's food, but I got fed. Thanks for the food. You've actually still got to transfer me for that. I'll get your BSB account off. Yeah, just send it through. Thanks for listening, everyone. I appreciate it. Like I said, please leave a five-star review. We adore you.

We're also still selling mugs. Link in bio on our Instagram. And the new Summerline of merch is coming soon. Coming soon, yeah. You won't have to wait too long for that. Are we going to do Trash Alley merch at any point, darling? You'll have to wait and see. What would Trash Alley merch be?

Bins. Yeah. Bins. That's a great idea. Bins. Tissues. And alleys. Because girls cry on mascara.

Yeah. Waterproof mascara. Yeah. Do you know that that actually is going to be a point of difference of Trash Alley is that you know how when you're at a nightclub and you might, there's always an emotional girl there. Yeah, always. And she's always got all the drunk people around her being like, babe, you deserve better. You're amazing.

All that stuff. So if that's the vibe we're going for, we're going to have like, you know, D&Ms from time to time. And I'm like, I can never have D&Ms here. Mitch just makes a joke at my expense and wraps me up. I'm like, I'm feeling really down. And he goes, oh, I don wraps me up i'm like i'm feeling really down and he goes oh i don't know you bet i'm feeling up it's not true like are you vulnerable i wonder no i'm extremely we need to do an is it just me episode where you just crack and just don't you come into my house and say, there are no trash cans. Well, you know what?

When we have you on Trash Alley, it will be a deep dive into the life of Mitch Turi. I just argue that I'm actually fine. No one can fucking relate to that. It's 2021. No one's fine. I'm doing just fine. Okay. People who say they're fine have a lot going on.

Exactly. That's true. Oh, don't you jump on this mess. It's true. What mess? Well, we ended the podcast. Normally when you end a podcast, you don't bring up another point, but you'll learn. You'll learn on Thrash.

I think you'll find that with me. Is it Thrash Alley? Thrash Alley. Thrash Alley. Yeah. Yeah. My grandma had Thrash Alley. It was awful.

Went through a bunch of cranberry juice. Another joke. It was followed by another joke. Two jokes in one sentence. It's too much. It's hard when joke. It's followed by another joke. Two jokes in one sentence. It's too much. Hard when you're a comedian. All right, guys. I've got to get back to my job.

Speaking of a comedian, your tickets are on sale to your show. Yeah, no. I'll be plugging them. Don't you worry. Come along to me live show. I'll catch you in December, Sydney. See you December. All right.

Goodbye. What do you have to plug, Jennifer? Fuck's sake. Got a greyhound dog. Hang on. Hang on. I've got something else to talk about. Alright, goodbye. What do you have to plug, Jennifer? Fuck's sake. Got a greyhound dog. Hang on, hang on. I've got something else to talk about. Nah, just kidding. We're gonna go. See you next week? Yep. Yeah, we'll see you next week.

And on Wednesday. What for? Trash Alley! Oh, Trash Alley. Got it. Okay, see you then. Goodbye. Bye-bye, idiots. Love ya. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of meaches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment on the end.

We pretend we're done. Did you know we had a secret segment, Matt? Yeah, I did. Yeah, yeah. And then we just keep talking. Most people have stopped listening at this point, I hope. Yeah. I'd argue that this is the best part of the show. wouldn't yeah i actually agree it was it's the best part of

the show because you just get to like relax and your conversation last week actually as i said i've only listened to two episodes the one i was on and last week's to catch up because i was like i need to kind of get my shit together yeah before i come on last week's conversation was a journey that i enjoyed every single. What was the conversation? Yeah, I can't remember. The secret segment. It was like, it was tangent after tangent. We were talking about Jenna's history debating.

Oh, yes. You actually said, I remember listening and you said, all right, well, we better wrap it up now. And I went, oh, is my Spotify glitching? Because there's still 22 minutes left of the vlog. And you kept talking. But I loved that. That's the kind of podcast that I loved listening to. to well there you've just found my mental illness is that i just can't wrap things yeah i knew it if you have adhd your content's gonna be like that whether you like it or not yeah that's why we call it add brief so here we are true tangents galore love

oh god yeah you you start a tangent and we'll just see where we go from here You can't put this on me Oh this is really fun You can't put it on me I'm not about to play tennis at Elberford I'm a Libra so I can't I stress about this I've got to figure out What is going to And I want to talk about that on our podcast

Episode 2 of Trash Alley I was going to talk about something but I'm like no Let's actually talk about that on our one. So sorry. That's fucked. Also, that's not an excuse. I'm a fucking Libra as well. And I don't plan shit.

Don't go. Don't hide behind it. What are we going to talk about? Let's go. I think we should talk about Jenna's skunk story and we should pull that apart. No, we've already done that. Oh, I'm sorry. I think we covered that.

That was my Leo. That was your Leo. Jenna, what are you? I'm a Gemini. Yeah, of course you are. Of course you bloody sorry. I think we covered that. That was my Leo. That was your Leo. Jenna, what are you? I'm a Gemini. Yeah, of course you are. Of course you bloody are. What does that mean? You're going on a tangent.

What? I know nothing about star signs. I'm just funny. You said, of course you are. Yeah. Yeah. Of course you bloody are. The whole point.

I'm just interacting with the conversation. Well, instead of a tangent. It's called being a Libra. Instead of a tangent. I know Libra's the best star sign, I do believe. It absolutely is. Yeah. And it makes perfect sense.

We should do something we haven't done in a while, Mitch. We should spin the chocolate wheel. Oh, my God, we should. And we should let Matt spin it. So, Matt. What the fuck's that? It's right there. Our pride wheel.

It's right behind you. All right, give it a spin. Three, two, one. We're spinning for Jeremy in St Kilda, by the way. Hi, Jeremy. Hi, Jeremy. Hi, Jeremy. It changed.

We've got a different wheel for season three. Why spin, Matt? Jenna, Jeremy. Hi, Jeremy. It changed. We've got a different wheel for season three. Nice spin, Matt. Jenna, what has Jeremy won? Oh, Jeremy, let's see. Oh, it's about to stop. Slowing down. Here we go. What did you get?

Oh, my God, Jeremy. You just won a skunk tail. Oh! Good on you, Jeremy. Well done. Oh, Bethany in Moorpark has called. My bad. Why don't you give them a wheel, Matt? You spin the wheel for them. Give a Jeremy. Well done. Oh, Bethany in Moorpark is called. Why don't you give them a wheel, Matt? You spin the wheel for them.

Give a spin. Well done. And just let them know what they win. It'll be written on the number. Okay, slowing down. It's landing on number. Here we go. Here we go.

Here we go. You oiled the wheel too much. You're too strong for your own good, God. Number seven. Oh, you won used tickets to Lady Gaga's Monster Ball from the late 2000s. Oh! Congrats, Bethany. Oh, wow.

That is good. Oh, guys, Trent's on, and we should let Trent spin the wheel. Do you want to do it, Mitch? You can spin it. Oh, he didn't even say yes. He just did it. That's a good spin. He's silly. I didn't even say yes. He just did it. That's a good spin. He's silly.

I didn't even push it. Matt pushed me out of the way and pushed it again. Sorry, I thought it was my thing. So you tell Trent what he's won. No, it's Mitchell. I can't read anymore. You can. Oh, he's won a flank steak.

Oh, Trent. Sorry. Mute that. What the fuck did you say? A flank steak. What is that? It's just a thin piece of meat. Right. Okay.

Like a meat platter. A what? Have you heard that term? No, flank steak. I've never heard of that in my life. No, flank steak. Hey Alexa, what's a flank steak? Where did this fucking thing come from? Why are you doing this? According to Wikipedia, flank steak is a cut of beef steak taken from the flank, which lies forward of the rear quarter of a cow,

behind the plate. French butchers call it baguette, which means bib. In Brazil. Thank you, Alexa. Thanks, Alexa. So, see, when I say, when you say you are fine. Yeah. Then you say things like flank steak and I go, something's going on.

Why? Not the full quit, is he? A good comedian can just use whatever he has in his mind. And you had flank steak on the Why? Not the full quit, is he? A good comedian can just use whatever he has in his mind. And you had Flank's sake on the line? Good comedian. I think I'm sorry. I'm a bit mean to Mitch, but I just think it's because he ghosted me.

There is negativity coming towards me. That makes sense. I didn't ghost you intentionally. It was an old me. It was an old you. So I'm glad you listened to the show in preparation. And you enjoyed AD Debrief more than the main show, you say? Yeah, I guess so, yeah. Interesting.

Not that I can remember what you talked about, but it was just nice. Oh, I can tell you one thing that he told me about the show. He fucking had to skip Copping Fit Chicken because he can't stand that awkwardness. Cringe. Yeah, can't do that. One highlight was Jenna's Contiki legs giveaway. That was funny. Oh, the different stop signs.

Yeah, that was really funny. I love, I really love, first of all, I love when Jenna just pops in with a nugget of gold, just something so hilarious. Like you don't hear from Jenna for like 20 minutes of the podcast. Then she says something and you go, oh, fuck, she's hilarious. She's on fire, yeah. I can't recall one time I've ever thought that that was gold, Jenna.

The other thing that I love is like when both Mitches will go, you'll just, you'll say a joke, then you'll say a joke, then you'll say a joke, and it goes back and forth. Like you volley with the stop sign thing is a good example. Like you were like, Jenna's leg's just a stop sign. And you were like, it's a giveaway. And you were like, it's a one way. Yeah, we just keep.

And it keeps going. That was just so hilarious. So I thoroughly enjoyed that. Oh, thank you. Is that a compliment? No. Oh. Yeah, now we get to the cons.

Yeah. Yeah. And now my list of cons. What didn't you like? Let me just open up my diary here. He's got a Kiki K notebook, everyone. It's all right. You can do the same.

I'm assuming you haven't listened to Trash Alley yet. I haven't listened yet, no. Okay, well, you'll be able to do the same. Give us feedback on what you thought of the first episode. Don't give us feedback because I'm really nervous about the first episode, actually. Why are you nervous? The first episode, yeah, I don't know. I think after we've got our feedback from everyone for, like, a good maybe week or two,

or maybe even, like, three weeks of episodes, maybe that's when I'll, like, take on board. But just not yet. Well, you're a Libra. Are you self-conscious? Uh, to an extent. Do you care what other people think about you? To an extent. I mean, yes and no.

Like, I'm so unapologetic, but at the same time, it's not that I care what other people think of me. I think I want to put out work that I am, like, proud of and other people will enjoy. I'm an entertainer. I want people to be entertained by what I do. If someone goes, oh, like, the podcast wasn't that good, I'm not going to keep listening. Like, yeah, that'd hurt.

But then do I care what other people say about me? No, in the same respect. You know what I mean? I reckon everyone knows that the first episode is never the best of something. Do you remember the first episode of Friends? No. So awkward. I'm not a Friends person.

Oh, well, fuck me. What's another example? My housemate watches Friends over and over and over and over and over and over. Yeah. And I'm like, you can't be serious. I'm one of those people, unless it's a real banger like- Captain Kim. And don't judge me for this, but a real banger like Pitch and don't judge me for this but a real banger like

pitch perfect bridesmaids no i agree basically anything with rebel wilson in it like i can watch those a couple times but usually i'm a one take pony like one take one trick but like i've watched a show once i'm done i'm the same yeah can't watch it again and my house surely you've re-watched captain kim yeah but not really like not really when was the last time you watched it because Can't watch it again And my housemate Surely you've re-watched Kath and Kim Yeah but Not really Like not really When was the last time you watched it Because let me tell you

When you re-watch it as an adult You pick up on so many Jokes that you didn't before I have re-watched it as an adult And I watched it during COVID lockdown Last year I got back into it

When it went on Netflix But realistically Like yeah I just can't I don't have the same Yeah Don't have the attention span. I agree.

Hayden has watched Devil Wears Prada four times in our relationship. I go, I watched something once and I could not give a shit about it. It's done. Yeah, there are comfort movies though. Jurassic Park is a big comfort movie for me. I want to watch Devil Wears Prada with Hayden. That will go on as like a bit of background noise, but I can't focus on it. I don't care about it, but it just needs to go on because it's like a familiar thing.

I can't put something on in the background because then I go, I'm not watching it and I'm going to miss something. Even though I'm not watching it, I just get too paranoid that I will miss something. I go, I should have seen that or I missed it. What are they doing now? I hate it. I can't watch something in the background. I prefer to work in silence or watch something.

Thanks for asking me that. No, I'm definitely a work in silence person as well and i literally can't have anything except silence when i'm working but when i'm cleaning the cleaning my bedroom or something movies on movies on because if it's interesting or a podcast yeah yeah if it's interesting enough then i'll not do the work and i will sit and watch. Yeah. The best part, the best thing I ever discovered was that you can connect your wireless headphones

to your TV. I told you that. Yeah. I had no idea. So I like multitask. I've got like a TV show on and it's like I'm watching it as a, listening to it as a podcast. I just have the audio, but I'm cleaning the bathroom. It's great.

And then if something happens that I like need the visual, I'll like drop everything and run back. It's great. Right. I'm a i like need the visual i'll like drop everything and run back it's great right i'm a caller i call when i need to do some housework yeah my friend and catch up with their headphones in with it yeah i call a lot when i'm driving like i save all i bank my calls to drive yes oh my god me when i know that i have like a half an hour drive i know i gotta call nen i gotta call grandma i gotta call uh have a quick little chat to Grandad on the phone. I've got to call my mum. She's at work, so it's always a quick phone call.

I've got to go home at work. And I text my dad because Dad's too busy to talk to me. So, yeah. Jenna, do you ever call your grandparents? These two are making me feel bad now. God, they're good. I never do. My grandparents are dead.

Not all of them, are they? Yeah, they all are. Jenna, you could call a psychic and they could put you onto her. That's true. That's true. Yeah, don't be fucking lazy. In fact, Jenna, we've got a psychic. They're on the line, Jenna.

They're on the line. Say hello. Hello. Hello. Mitchell. Oh, my God. Hey, Mitchell. He's actually not here because he couldn't get in.

Traffic. Oh. He's behind a truck. Was that the wrong sound? You don't call your grandparents, though. No. Yeah, why? Well, last time I went home, my nan's just getting a bit loopy.

I don't think she realised that I was her grandson. She thought that I was a girl. She didn't know who this random woman at the pub was. Don't blame her. That's the sad thing. I think you need to call to, yeah, well, it's probably because you don't call. She forgot who you were. True.

I think I, like, my grandma, bless her, I think she's got a little, maybe a little notebook with, you know, the things she needs to ask me about. Because she surprisingly remembers so many things. And every time she calls, well, she asks me how I am, how my work is going. If I've said I'm working, I've worked with a brand in our last phone call, she'll be like, oh, and how, you know, is your thing going with so-and-so? How's Skylar going? How's work going for Skylar?

Like, you know, just all these questions. Too specific. Yeah. And so I'm just like, I think, so I think that's why your grandma's going, I don't know this chick. Because you're not having regular phone calls. My other grandmother, she got a mobile phone. We text.

Oh, I love that. That's cute. Well, I've got my Alma, who's my Dutch grandmother, and then I've got my Nan. And my Alma is like so with it. She gets like Botox. She's snatched. She looks 60 and she's 83.

She looks sensational. But my other Nan is beautiful and she said, you've got to get on television before I die. And in the last 18 months has been my most television work ever. And I'm like, Nan, I'm on TV. She went, you've got to get on television before I die. I go, no, Nan, I am. I'm actually on television.

She's like, oh, well, I don't watch that shit. She goes, well, it's too late. It's too late to stay up and it's on past 9.30. It doesn't matter how you do the streaming. I go, shit, so what are you all telling me? So when you said you've got to get on TV before I die, no, no, you were lying. It's too late. It's too late to stay up and it's on past 9.30. It doesn't know how to do the streaming. Shit. So what you're telling me. So when you said you've got to get on TV before I die. No, you were lying.

You said before I could be fucked. No. Well, you did. You got on before she died. She never said she was going to watch. Oh, yeah. That's a good point. She just said go fuck and do it.

Nothing's ever good enough for that generation, is it? Nothing. I'm not only gay, but I'm with a Filipino. Like the poor thing. I'm furious. Oh, dear. And we Filipino. Like the poor thing. I'm furious. Oh dear. Oh we laugh. Oh we laugh. Yeah we do. Don't we here? Yeah we do. So is there a no editing thing? We just have to keep rolling or will you

edit this bit until we think of something else to say? No I never edit shit. Don't you dare bark orders at him about editing. I'm asking a question. No I never fucking edit shit. I'm asking you a question, you dumb fat bitch. What did you just call me? It was you.

On that note. I was being Janet Roach from The Real Housewives. Have you noticed Janet is taking over the Australian meme space, right? Where is the money that he went to work and got? Not her dad's money or her grandpa's money. She doesn't have a job. She doesn't go to work. I love that.

You know she's one of the richest people in the country. Her husband is the CEO of Chemist Warehouse. But that's new, though. She's only just gotten with him in the last few years. Oh, yes, then it's new. Because I think the old husband owned Revolver. Oh, the... What's Revolver? The nightclub in Melbourne. Oh, yes, then it's new. Because I think the old husband owned Revolver. Oh, the... What's Revolver? The nightclub in Melbourne. Oh.

And then she's got her son has the tea business. Yes. I can't imagine that's doing all, like, a matter. I'm sure it's doing well, but, like, I can't imagine it's, like, multi-billion dollar business. But also, you don't decide to start a tea business. When you walk through Westfield

and you see Tea 2, you don't think, we need more. You go, I'm pretty sure they've got that covered. It's the same with all these new active wear, bro. My sister's like, I'm in PE Nation or something. I go, what happened? I thought Lorna Jane was the big active wear, but now everyone's

in PE Nation. No, well, Lorna Jane fell off when they've done, because they've done all, they've had a few scandals, Lorna Jane. I, haven't they ever? I mean, they've had the fatphobic shit. What was the fatphobic shit? Well, they wouldn't employ fat people and they wouldn't put fat models. They wouldn't put fat models. And they had

the COVID technology, the antibacterial leggings. Like, she's gotten in it in the last couple years. They were claiming that you couldn't get COVID with their leggings on or something, right? Couldn't travel. But then she was really good on Celebrity Apprentice. I know! Wasn't she fabulous? Oh my god, she was fabulous. I didn't know who she was

and then when someone said Lorna, I went, I bet that's Lorna fucking Jane. And it is, and it was. Yeah. And I'm I've forgotten her name. It's on the tip of my tongue. But the other one that owns Boost Juice. Love her. Janine! Oh, she's, I loved her on Shark Tank. Same.

Janine would be great. She's in this room right now. Yeah, absolutely. I love Janine. Absolutely. You two are just really drawn to rich women, aren't you? Oh, because we are rich women. I mean, really, my whole life I have fantasised about being a rich woman.

So I feel like, yeah. Good point. Good point. Good point. No. Wow. But then they all, all the rich women are the first to tell you money can't buy happiness. It's like, well, I'd like to give it a go. No.

I'd like to prove that for myself. No, the rich women we like are very, very honest about the fact that they love their money. Right. Chris Jenner, sensational. Yeah. Yeah. You know how you were talking about T2 before? Yeah. This is a weird

tangent i'm gonna take you all on have you ever thought about what your maker wish would be if you were critically ill the reason i bring it up is because mine would be to go into a t2 store and you know those like immaculate pyramids of teapots they've got i just want to go in there with a fucking hammer let loose how therapeutic would it be to smash a bunch of fucking T2 teapots? Oh my gosh. We can do those in those rage rooms. We should do that. Not the same.

I want to go to the ones that aren't meant to be smashed. Make a wish, just reach out to T2 and say, can he come and fucking break everything? I'd walk into Maya and I'd get one of those Tara Cash shirts with an ink tag on it and I'd walk out with it and I'd watch it blow up. Kill me. You realise that's not how it works. It doesn't blow up as you walk out. You've got to try and get it off.

Doesn't it blow up when you leave? No. Then what's the point? So it's on there and so when you get home, you try to get that off the t-shirt. It explodes and ink goes all over the t-shirt so you can't wear the t-shirt. Oh, I thought it was a sensor. No, no. No.

Oh. Yeah, sorry. Sorry to crush your Make-A-Wish stream. Thanks. I'm going to die now. I thought your Make-A-Wish had to be the one to break it to him. Sweetie, we can't make that happen. We can't make the air.

Invent the technology. So what would yours be? Oh, I don't know. I'm such a basic bitch. I know we're trying to be entertaining here, but I'd just love a lunch with Lady Gaga. Oh, that's fair. Do you think she's ever said, do you think Make-A-Wish have called her and they've gone, Stephanie, we've got Georgia from Georgia.

I know it's funny, but that's where she's from. She's terminal and all she wants is a pat of cake with you. Do you reckon Lady Gaga's gone? No. The best all she wants is a pat of cake with you. Draco Lady Gaga's gone, no. The best I can do is a cameo. No first name. Tell Georgia that I never got this call. Yeah, you couldn't reach me. I'm sure that has happened.

I didn't say no. Sorry, this is Charlie XCX. Angle. Yeah, it's just Elton John. Jenna. Maybe like in a movie with Brie Larson or something. You'd like to be in a film. Yes.

The hell the fuck? A maker was supposed to pull that off. You'd be frail, very thin. You'd be a liability on set. Yeah, I didn't think of that, but they could find a way. What if you had two months to live and Brie Larson's like, fuck, I'm not shooting till next year. Like, you won't be here when you have my next movie. Bad luck.

Oh, Jenna wants to die halfway through filming so they have to CGI her in. Jenna wants to be Princess Leia. Yeah, but then at the end of the movie it'll be like in memory of Jenna Vincent. Yeah, but are we talking like you're an extra eating at the cafe? No. Your main character? No, not main

character. You know, a few lines. Sub-character. A few lines? One-liner? No, about three lines. Three? Three? Yeah, okay, nice.

Interesting. Now, I'd much rather just steal a shirt and watch it explode. We can make it happen. It just won't be how it happens. Like, we can blow a shirt up, I'm sure. Down to the bastard and carol at a match. There you go. I was expecting the Maya stuff.

Be like, what? And it explodes as soon as you leave I don't think after the two years we've had Maya staff couldn't give a fuck about the show The best idiom we've ever done on the show Jenna, say your idiom about the Maya The Maya idiom All Mayas have a leaking roof

There's buckets everywhere Is that the best? It's so true I'm going the best. It's so true. I'm going to piss myself. It's so true. And it's always the first level, not the second. Everyone's got buckets. It's like, where is the water coming from?

The yellow signs. You go, oh, that's a mess. Sometimes not even a yellow sign. Just a lady standing there going, watch yourself, darling. And we called to test it. We called Amaya in the middle of fucking nowhere and asked her and they had a leak. Because that's where their whole level is just buckets. Did you do that on the show?

Yeah. I love that. How did you approach that, though? Were you like, I think- Dot Wiggins made the call. Dot Wiggins called. Okay. Give me the episode. We don't have time to talk about it. called Okay You can't say that Give me the episode

We don't have time to talk about it We'll just text you to Give me the episode and I'll have to listen We really don't And when we should go it was a pleasure having you on again Thank you so much

Yeah Wasn't it fun? It was Absolutely Plenty more where that came from Trash Alley only on Spotify Yeah Check it out guys

I actually feel like I've just done a workout This was like I laughed so much I hope everyone I hope everyone What do you call your listeners? Oh my god I just realised We haven't asked him what's better than drugs and dick Oh hurry hurry hurry workout. This was like I laughed so much. I hope we get that a lot. What do you call your listeners? Oh my god, I just realised. We haven't asked him

what's better than drugs and dick. Oh, hurry, hurry, hurry. What do you think's better than drugs and dick? Fucking shit. Fuck. What do I think is better than drugs and dick? Take a breath. Okay, I can't think about it. I'm trying to look around the fucking room. So we always, Mitch, we always lead with the fresh linen, fresh bed. Crunchy apple, going for a stroll,

a nice warm meal. Angela Bishop had a waterbed. Roe hit said meditation. What are you thinking, Matthew? Closed out the show. Like a little guilty pleasure. A little guilty pleasure. I honestly like have nothing.

Alright, well, let that go on the record. Alright, how do you believe there's nothing better than drugs or dick? No, no, no, no, because they're definitely That's nice for you young followers Like, I want to say Uber Eats That's fine Sophie Monk said Jimmy Brink

Or just food delivery in general You know what, what the fuck was that place called We ate from today? Plan B It was called Plan B And it's, I don't know where somewhere around park if you're somewhere around mccorry park or you've got a plan b near you like that was genuinely one of the best chicken burgers i've ever had in my life and for anyone who doesn't know a chicken burger is my go to like when i go to a restaurant the first thing i look for a lot of people it's a chicken snitty

like or like you know i'm chicken burger i will always always always interesting so the plan b burgers were better than rugs and dick? Yeah. Great. Or a chicken burger. If you want to go broadly, it's a chicken burger. Actually, I changed my answer. Sorry.

A good chicken burger. Thank you. Who wants to be a millionaire? We're taking that one and we're locking that in. There we go. Chicken burger. I like that. That's nice.

That's good. We're done now. Thanks for that. With bacon. Yep. With bacon. And cheese and aioli. Yeah.

Bitter lettuce. Crispy lettuce. Yeah. I'm just trying to freak you out because I know you've got to go and do your show in two and a half minutes. No, no. We're on in seven. We're on in seven.

No one listening anyway, so it'll be fine. Thank you for coming on. It was a pleasure. That's all right. Thanks for having me. And we'll see you next week, guys. Yeah, well, you'll see me next week and you'll see Jenna next week. Yes.

You'll have to find Matt over in Trash Alley. That's where he'll be. With me. In his own lane. Just one more time. Trash Alley. Spotify. where he'll be. With me. Just one more time. Trash Alley. Spotify. Our original podcast.

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See you, Matthew. Bye. Bye, darling. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app