Is It Just Me? - #90: Pop Song Thesaurus

Episode Date: November 15, 2021

In this episode:We DON’T need reminding (05:16)“Your call is being recorded” (10:03)Our new segment coming soon (12:17)Are straight men the MOST bitchy people? (13:33)Pop song thesaurus (17:48)We’re giving Jenna her own show (30:06)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (41:45)Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Television legend Kerri-Ann Kennelly fell several metres from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pippet. Is she dead? Some things make more sense than others. Ring Pike's Nurseries. What nursery? Pike's. P-Y-K-E-S. P-Y-A...

K as in kill. P-Y-A. K as in kill. P-Y-E. K! Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches.

What about me? Don't forget Jenna. Who? Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Oh, 90-90, here we go. Hello, Mitchell Coombs. We've made it to 90. Nearly there for 100. I know.

I can feel it coming. It's leaning over us. I didn't want to make too much of a big deal for episode 90 because I think we should have something special for the 100th, you know? Oh, and we will. Don't you worry. I do have a bit of a fun 90s music-themed game coming up, though. We do.

I'm pretty excited for that. It's going to be very groovy. Yeah, this is new to me. I'm very excited for it, too. Yeah. You, on the other hand, Mitchell, goodness me, mustn't have been excited to come in this morning. Yeah.

I'm a bit hungover. Poof Doof reopened in Sydney and it was magical. I had to be there, even though I knew I had a podcast to record the next day. Mitchell entered the building today with his sunnies on. Looked like Meryl Streep at the Met Gala. You look good, though. You just are a bit slow. Oh, thank you.

Yeah, Prize Keeper Jenna, she's here as usual. You're going to do a lot of the talking today, darling. Oh, do I? Yeah. Okay. Jenna, you're looking very sprightly, though. You're looking very refreshed. Oh, thank you so much.

You didn't go out last night? No, I didn't. Did you? No, because I was at home because our plumbing exploded in the brand new house. Oh, the shit house. I told you not to move in. I did tell you last week, don't go there. It sounds awful.

Haven't eaten corn in 12 years, yet there's a piece of corn in the hallway. That's all I will say on that. It's honestly a very shitty situation. I don't want to talk about it. Can I tell you one thing I am excited about, though? Yeah. Can I tell you one thing I am excited about, though? Yeah.

Oh. My housemate came home the other day and he'd been listening to your radio show in the car. Oh, my award-winning night show. Yep. And he goes, oh, I heard Mitchell say something on KISS FM that I thought you'd get a kick out of. Oh, no. So I got Jenna to track down the audio. I gave her the time code.

Did you listen to the audio yet? No, I didn't. Oh. No. What is it? This is fabulous. It's very much like remember that time you told Lauv that you were in and out of LA to try and sound impressive. This is another in and out of LA level of lies. No, I can't listen to myself.

You had a guest on and you told the most unbelievable of lies. No! Even in and out of LA is more believable than this. No, I'm cringing. So the audio is over there. Let's take a listen to what Mitch said on air the other night. All right, here we go. So the last release would have been throw away my number. Okay, yeah, I'm cringing. So the audio's over there. Let's take a listen to what Mitch said on air the other night. All right, here we go. So the last release would have been Throw Away My Number.

Okay, yeah, I remember that. And then before that it was One In A Million and Take Cover. Oh, Take Cover. I still listen to Take Cover. It's in my gym playlist, so I don't get to listen to it a lot. Then lockdown happened, we couldn't go to the gym, so I stopped listening because obviously it's not on any other playlist. But I went back to the gym for the first time and it was in there.

And I'm like, oh, this song, this slaps. Your gym playlist, huh? Yeah, it doesn't exist. And it just kept snowballing the light. A, you don't have a gym playlist. And when you were like, oh, I finally went back to the gym after lockdown. Rubbish. When did you go back to the gym?

I don't even have a membership. When was the last time you went to the gym? I just moved away from the Anytime Fitness 12 months ago. Who was this clown that you were lying to? Geordie Ireland. But he didn't believe it either. Listening back to that, he was like, yeah, yeah. He just looked at you up and down and went, sure, bitch.

Looked at both man boobs and went, okay, let's move on. Yeah, I love your song. It's in my gym. See what I mean? Even in and out of LA, LA is more believable than that. Listen, I talk to so many people, you just have to schmooze them, you know? Yeah, sometimes when you interview guest after guest, you run out of truth to tell. You just have to start bullshitting your way through it.

Make shit up. No, because his song is upbeat. So if I did have a gym playlist, it would be in it. Play me the song. I'll be the judge. I'll see if it's good for a gym playlist. I've got a new PT now. I need something to pump me up.

Oh yeah, you do. So this is Geordie Island, local Aussie boy. Throw away my number. Nah. Let me skip. Hold on. He's being a female now. No, that's one of his friends, I think. Oh. He's the DJ. Ready? On the treadmill.

Water bottle in hand. Swe sweat towel on my shoulder. What do you know? Up the incline. Yeah, it's good. It's more of a skipping in a meadow kind of song than a gym song to me. I'd skip in a meadow to that. My heart rate's up 24-7, so I could listen to that whenever. We love you, Geordie Ireland, on the show.

You're welcome anytime. Anyway, if it is your first time listening, welcome to Is It Just Me? We do a show every week, and we start the show with an idjim each. Mitch brings one, I bring one. It's something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. They're the core of the show. We don't tell each other what our Is It Just Me's going to be. No.

Mitch doesn't know mine, I don't know Mitch's. Jenna just doesn't even know what time it is. No. So we all go in blind. I think we do this every week, but have I gone first every couple? I don't know Mitch's Jenna just doesn't even know what time it is no so we all go in blind do you want to I think we do this every week but have I gone first every couple I don't know

I can go first if you want don't overthink it darling okay you go Mitch's first edition of the show for episode 19 it's gotta be a big one is it just me

or do you never forget to drink water do you never forget I just water? Do you never forget? I just feel like that's such a thing where people are like, oh, it's my goal to start drinking more water in a day, like New Year's resolution or even just like a new health goal to drink more water.

And I'm like, I've never had to remind myself to do that. Yeah. I'm always drinking water. Really? You're always drinking? Yeah. And the reason I bring this up is because I went to Officeworks the other day.

I wanted to buy myself a new to-do list okay just because i love that thrill of being able to cross some shit off when i've actually done a task you don't use your phone you like to write it down oh i've got the phone calendar but for day-to-day stuff i just put it on a to-do list that i write down and there are no plain to-do lists at office works i just wanted wanted one with to-do written at the top and a bunch of lines. A list. Yeah. But no, they're all fucking wanky now. They've got things like there's a bunch of faces.

You circle which mood you have today. And then there's like, oh, my goals today at breakfast, lunch, dinner. And I'm like, I just want some lines to put my to-do list. And every single one of them, every single to-do list I found at Officeworks had down the bottom you tick how many glasses of water you've had to remind yourself. And I'm like, I've never needed reminding. I just drink water because it's a necessity. Yeah, where did the new fad for water?

I remember my mum called me the other day and went, I have this great app. It's called Water. And I go, why do you need an app to remind you to drink water? And it gives you a notification. It goes, have another glass, Michelle. No, but also, who drinks glasses of water? Like, wouldn't most people drink from a bottle? No, it's a good point.

I haven't had a glass of water since – I have glasses of water at restaurants, but I never do it at home. I drink out of a bottle. No, if I'm at home, I'll do the glass. Really? But if I'm out and about, I take the water bottle. But, yeah, when I'm at home, I've always got – there's always ice in there. You know, I love an ice-cool beverage.

You do? I've always got – and as soon as it runs out, I top it up again. I'm pissing nonstop, mind you, but I don't need reminding. I'm just, I don't know, it's weird. I just like to always be sipping on something. And if it's not wine, it's got to be water. And also, let me tell you, I don't need an app or a to-do list. If my piss is as yellow as the sun, I need some water.

And that is science. There's your reminder. That's my reminder. Exactly. You feel like a real winner when your piss is clear, right? Oh, my God. I don't want it to end. Yeah. I'm mesmerised. It's my reminder. Exactly. You feel like a real winner when your piss is clear, right? Oh, my God. I don't want it to end. Yeah.

I'm mesmerised. I could drink this. Have you ever thought that? If I were Bear Grylls and push came to shove, I'd drink this to survive. If someone offered me $10, I'd do it. $10? Yeah. What about those apps that remind you to stand up?

Oh, my Apple Watch does it all the time. What is that supposed to achieve? I don't know. Blood circulation? Your stand-up goal. You have to stand up 12 times or so. Jenna, what's your stand-up goal currently? Because mine is 12 hours of standing.

I'm barely up for 12 hours. Mine is 12 hours and so far I've achieved five. I've achieved six hours. Up you get. Let's get Jenna. Come on. Wait, does it actually measure how long you're standing for? Yeah, and then it I've achieved five. I've achieved six hours. Up you get. Let's get Jenna. Come on. Wait, does it actually measure how long you're standing for? Yeah.

And then it goes, ba-boom. Can you take the mic with you so I can hear you? Then it goes, ba-boom. Good work. Really? You stood up, yeah. Like just standing up for a second doesn't count. It actually times how long you're up for.

Yeah. That's fucked. Yep. You know what else it does? And I really like this. It says, Mitchell, it registers when your heart rate is really high, which is 24-7 for me, so I have to turn that feature off. It goes, Mitchell, now is a good time to take a moment for mindfulness.

And doing it right now, mindfulness, you reflect for one minute. Yeah, no, I'm not into that. It says begin. No, fuck it. No. Did you get your notebook in the end? No. All of the to-do lists had the water counting thing on it.

And I'm like, what a dreadful waste of paper. I'm not going to write there. You've got to go to Smeagol and get a smelly rubber while you're there. They've got good to-do lists had the water counting thing on it. And I'm like, what a dreadful waste of paper. I'm not going to write there. You've got to go to Smiggle and get a smelly rubber while you're there. They've got good to-do lists. Do Smiggles still exist? Oh, yes. Yeah, every time I enter my local Westfields, I can smell it. Oh, I remember I always wanted Smiggle shit in school,

but it was like a bit indulgent to pay that much for a stupid fucking elastic pencil. All the kids had it. Remember those ones that were really long? Yeah. Oh, my God, the rubber pencils? Yeah. And the lead didn't work. That was were really long? Yeah. Oh, my God. The rubber pencils? Yeah. And the lead didn't work. It didn't write.

That was so hard to write with. Oh, my God. You couldn't use it. No. You couldn't use it. Bendy rulers were a great invention because you could just sort of roll it up and put it in your backpack. And smack people with it.

Oh, that was the best part. Still have one. Hayden, I've got one at the top of the room. Yeah, I can imagine. They come in handy. Yeah, very handy. And the pencils you saw write were so shit. But those rubbers that smell of little pigs, they smell of vanilla.

I love them. I loved them. And also the pencil cases had like 20 zips. Oh, yeah. What the fuck? You could unzip the whole pencil case and basically use it as a noose if you wanted to. Oh, my God. Like it's ridiculous.

Oh, and it like unthreaded. Like how impractical. I don't know why people thought that was cool. Why did we go through that phase? I thought that was so cool. It, how impractical. I don't know why people thought that was cool. Why did we go through that phase? I thought that was so cool. It was so impractical. Good point. Fuck Smiggle.

Fuck Smiggle. Why do you want 40 zippers on your fucking pencil case? I reckon they've just got a kitchen knife now with a pen holder in it. There you go. Use your new pencil case, kids. All right, what have you got? What's yours? Is it just me for the week, darling?

All right, here we go. Is it just me for the week, darling? All right, here we go. Is it just me or... Do we not need to be reminded that a call will be recorded for quality and training purposes anymore? That is so true. I just know it will be. Well, I think you have to actually get consent. It's a lot like when we use callers on the podcast or on radio, for example. You have to have consent for it to go to air.

So it's actually illegal to record people without their permission. So they have to let you know. I know, but it's 2021. Just if I'm going to call Optus to complain about my NBN or my corn-soaked floorboards, I need to get there as quickly as possible. I don't need a 30-second waiver on why. Just go, this call will be recorded. Done.

One second. but for quality training why i wouldn't i wouldn't be in a training room at one point where my call is being played out that's that's what i'm thinking there's been several times when i've had to call i don't know the internet provider or something and i've been fucked off and i've got i'm prepared to go full karen on them and i think if they're recording this for quality and training purposes, I'll give them a fucking lesson to learn. Like they'll play this to all the new recruits. Here's how to handle a difficult caller.

So I really give them hell. I can picture yours. Just for educational purposes. Yeah, of course. I reckon the Daily Telegraph, that day you cancelled your subscription service. I still haven't cancelled it. They keep guilt tripping me out of it. You tried to.

You couldn't even do it. But they'll be using that audio and they'll go, here's an example of a furious middle-aged woman. Mad. Most of the calls that are recorded for quality and fucking training purposes with me is just me saying, I'm not ma'am. I'm very sorry, ma'am. No, no, no.

I'm a man, Mitchell. Sorry, ma'am. No, I'm not a man. It happens all the time. I get, okay, no worries, Michelle Turi. Mitchell! I said Mr. Mitchell! Jenna just, no worries, Michelle Chury. Mitchell! I said Mr. Mitchell! Jenna just doesn't call.

She wouldn't. She'd just suffer in silence. I really like the online chat features. Oh, same. Oh, are they recorded for quality and training? Probably. They print them out. Well, they email you a transcript afterwards,

and I'm like, I'm not going to fucking look back on this like it's some precious memory when I was talking to fucking good guys in a chat box. Like, I don't need this. But you're missing fridge. What did I say to Goompa at 3.04? Oh, when's the fridge coming? Great to know. Is it just me?

Stop acting like bitches and follow couple of bitches. Now, listen up. I have a question for you, dear listener. What is the worst date you've ever been on? Because coming soon to this podcast, we're going to be doing Tinder fizzes and fairy tales. So you might be like Mitchell and be a success story. You've found your loved one. It's a fairy tale. On Tinder.

Or we've all had bad dates, you know. Doesn't matter what app you're using, dates can be shit. And so we want to hear your biggest date fail and also your date success stories on the show. Yeah. And we'll be giving away Tinder gold memberships to all the singles out there that might want a bit of luck. And you'll get to chat to us. Oh, yeah, obviously. That's the biggest perk.

That's a prize in itself. Yep. Hit us up on the social. They can DM us, right, Mitch? Yep. You've actually been on both end of the spectrums, right? Yeah, I've been. Yes, I have.

You've been a Tinder success story with Hayden, your loving gay boyfriend. Yes. You've also had the fizzer. Remember All Right Hay was in here a couple of weeks ago? Oh, yeah. Talking about how you ghosted him on Tinder. Yes. So you've been both.

And the Bionicle man. Remember the man with the full metal spine on the balcony? Oh, that's right. Yeah, I've had a couple. Yes. And some female-based dates. Anyway, it's not about me. It's about you.

If you've had a fairy tale date on Tinder or a fizzer, hit us up. A couple of Mitch's on Instagram will get you on the show. Yeah. It's also where you can hit us up to get on for an Is It Just You. So Mitch and I bring an Is It Just Me every week, but we have handed over the reins to you. Yep. Every week on the show we'll be letting you have your say.

If something's on your mind and you're going about your day, you think, is it just me? We want to hear it. Something you've noticed, something you hate, or something you appreciate. And this is from Renton. Renton. Here we go. Renton's on. Hey Mitch, Mitch and Jenna. Loving the podcast. Thanks, darling.

Anyway, here's my itch-em. Hurry up! Is it just me or do straight guys spread more gossip than girls and gays? Interesting. Wouldn't know. I don't really speak to them. No, I'd be interested to know why he thinks that. I really feel like we should do these.

These are just used as a call sometimes. I want them to elaborate. I can't get more out of bloody Renton. We didn't get much out of Renton there. But I tend to agree. Growing up in a shyer school, the straight boys, and I was technically a straight boy so I was very in the group, you know. I was undercover.

And they gossip. They love to pitch about the girls too. Oh, God, I can just imagine the kind of horrible discussions that go on when it's straight guy to straight guy, like, you know, bro code. Yeah, locker room talk. Gross. You know, the biggest gossip I know is my father. Really? My dad. Oh, yeah. When it's straight guy to straight guy, like, you know, bro code. Yeah, locker room talk. Gross. You know, the biggest gossip I know is my father. Really?

My dad. Oh, my God. My mum told me when I was very young. She said, if you don't want something getting out, don't tell your father. True story. He's the biggest gossip. Wants to know everything. Everything.

Even asked me about you and Disgusting Sidewalk. What's the other show you do? Oh, my new podcast, Trash Alley. Trash Alley. Only on Spotify I got confused He asked about that He asked about that

He goes oh my mate Mitch is doing Mitchie What does he call you again? Coombsie Coombsie's doing another podcast She's like I mean yours is over I went no

Who's the other bloke? You can only do one at a time You can only do one podcast Who's the other bloke? Not really My vibe I went yeah no dad Loves a gossip

He said it's not his vibe No the other guy He was just trying to make me feel better. But I'm like, Dad, I'm booked and blessed, babe. I'm not worried about Mitch's other podcast. It's already been cancelled, I reckon. It's actually incredible how many people have asked you, how do you feel about Mitchell Coombs doing a second podcast?

Oh, my God. No one ever asks me, how do you feel about Mitch Cherry working for Channel 9? Like, I don't give a fuck. Like, we're not exclusive to each other in this podcast. I know, but people see us as, you know, a duo. Yeah, well, that's their fucking error, isn't it? Amen. We're not married to each other in this podcast. I know, but people see us as, you know, a duo. Yeah, well, that's their fucking error, isn't it? Amen. We're not married or anything.

No. But I found my dad has been a bit of a gossiper in recent years. Like, nothing really malicious. But when we were growing up, he would always say, if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. And he really instilled that in me. So I'm not really a gossip. But as he's getting older, I'm like, you're a bitch.

He's got a lot of things. He tries to start bitch fests with me about people, and I'm like, oh, my God, you're so mean. Ian's a bitch. Oh, he can be. Is it farm gossip? Like Linda took the tractor and hasn't returned it? Oh, the barley harvest this year.

Have you seen the Judsons next door? Their crops are bad. Really? No, he doesn't bitch about the farms. Oh, my God. Oh, Trent next door, the depression's worse than ever. Dad, you can't. No, that's not true.

We love Ian. Jenna, he's your straight parents. Actually, thinking about it, my dad is a gossiper. Really? The thing is, he spreads fake gossip. Why? Because he doesn't have any real gossip to report on? Well, he tells us things that he's heard from neighbours and then we approach the neighbour

and they've never heard that thing before. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It keeps life interesting. My mum said to me the other day, she goes, oh, have you heard Mark's news, my brother? Yeah. She goes, have you heard Mark's news? And I was like, no, what is it?

And she goes, oh, wait, I said I wouldn't tell anyone. Oh, no, that's the worst. And I was like, well, you're here now, Jane. Yeah. You're here now, so you're going to have to tell me. She goes, no, no, no, I said I wouldn't tell anyone. Oh, no, that's the worst. And I was like, well, you're here now, Jane. You're here now, so you're going to have to tell me. She goes, no, no, no, I promised him. You have to promise me, Mitchell. If I tell you, you won't tell anyone. And I said, well, clearly promises mean fuck all to you, Jane,

so I'm not making such promise. Spit it out, darling. She goes, oh, he's got a girlfriend. But I was like, Jesus, remind me not to trust Jane with the secret. Yeah. Cause the other sibling and blabs. Yeah. My mum does that too.

Mums love to gossip. I thought it was going to be way more exciting. I thought she was going to say Mark's gay as well. I was like, is that it? He's packing walls with tiles and boys with his dick. Oh, my God. Grout's not the only thing. He's filling up.

Yuck. All right. Should we get into our special 90s music themed game that I've got prepared for us? Yes, I think so. So, it's our 90th episode of Is It Just Me, the podcast. And I thought, okay, we've got to do something 90s themed. So, I've brought a game today that we're going to play with you, Jenna, because we feel that

you're probably the most educated one out of us three. Wouldn't you agree? Oh, completely. You went to uni and graduated, right? Yes, I did. And so this game is called Pop Song Thesaurus. Now, Mitchell, I didn't tell you this prior, but this is actually an old game we used to do on my old podcast,

Not My Cup of Tea. I knew that you wouldn't have agreed if I told you prior, but here we are. We're doing a Not My Cup of Tea game. knew that you wouldn't have agreed if I told you prior, but here we are. We're doing a Not My Cup of Tea game. So I'm a human compost bin. The scraps are thrown in me on my own show. No, but it's perfect because what you do in pop song thesaurus is you take the lyrics to a pop song and then you, like,

look up synonyms, put them through a thesaurus, make them sound way more fancy than they are, and then the challenge is for Jenna, who should be able to decipher because she's good at English, you know, she's smart. The challenge is to decipher what the original lyrics were when we make them sound really fancy. And so it's all 90s songs that we've done. Yes, because it's our 90th episode.

Making sense, Jenna? That makes sense. Got it. So, for example, this isn't part of the quiz, Jenna, but like, you know that song Milkshake? Oh, yes. Yeah, my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. So that would become my whipped ice dairy drink brings the attention

of many males to my place of residency and or employment. And they declare its quality far surpasses yours. Absolutely it far surpasses yours. So that's what we do, right? Shakespearean. Brilliant. Yeah, so that's actually a great word for it. We make them sound Shakespearean and Jenna has to figure out what the original song is.

Incredible. So we've got a bunch of songs each. Who wants to go first? Oh my God. You go first, Mitchell, because this is the scraps from your old cancelled show. Sad that day got cancelled. Well, I was able to do this podcast after that was cancelled. That's very true.

So, you know, silver lining, darling. Blessing. All right. So the first lyric that you need to decide for Jenna. Yes. What song is this? By far the most fervent prophet that pertains to being a female is the liberty to engage in a modest volume of recreation

and or indulgence. Girls just want to have fun. No. No, it's this. The best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun, yeah. See what I'm saying there? The liberty to engage in a modest volume of recreation and or indulgence. The best thing about being a woman. That's very smart.

All right, so zero right so far. No, that was a practice. No, it wasn't. I'm counting it. Okay, should I go, Mitchell? Yeah, you do yours. Okay, he's right so far. No, that was a practice. No, it wasn't. I'm counting it. Okay, should I go, Mitchell? Yeah, you do yours. Okay, here's mine, Jenna. Look me in the eyes.

I'll convey to you what I crave, what I truly, truly crave. I crave her. I crave her. I crave her. I crave her. I truly, truly, truly crave her. Zig, zig. Sigh.

Gee, that one's tricky. Bad stuff. Spice Girls. Yeah, she. Bad stuff. Spice Girls. Yeah, she's got it. Spice Girls. What a crave. What a truly, truly crave. A crave.

A crave. A crave. A crave. A truly, truly, truly crave a zig-a-zig-sci. You really can't put zig-a-zig through a thesaurus, can you? No, you can't. No. Zig's not a word.

You could have said zag instead of like zig-zag. Oh, yeah. Zag-a-zag-sci. No, it's good. One out of six zigzag. Oh, yeah. Zag, zag, sigh. No, it's good. One out of six, Jenna. Correct. Mitchell's turn. My next one.

What are these lyrics, Jenna? Yes. I have a deep desire to perch alongside you upon an abundant elevation. Furthermore, to soak in tandem in a large body of water. I also see appeal in resting unwaveringly endlessly until the airspace plummets upon the proverbial speaker. What are those lyrics? This is hard.

On the proverbial speaker. Yep. I really don't know. It's this one. Oh, no. What is it? It's really madly deep. No!

It sounded so familiar. Oh, no. What is it? It's really madly deeply wrong. No! It sounded so familiar. Do your lyrics. Furthermore, to soak in tendon in a large body of water. There you go. That's it. I also see appeal in resting unwaveringly endlessly. Shakespearean! Until the essay plummets on the verbal speaker.

That is so good. It sounded so familiar. You got it wrong. That was very good. What I'm picking up is that mine must be a bit trickier. Oh, come on. That makes Jenna the most educated, you the second most, and me a fucking idiot.

A Kraver zig-a-zig sign. All right, mine, number two. What's the next one? My next one. Here we go. Listen carefully, Jenna. Okay. That's the current state of affairs.

Everything is incorrect. I'm slashed. I'm drained of all hope. Such is my current state. I'm glacial and I am mortified. Parallel bear on the mezzanine. Oh. Lying naked on the floor.

Oh, my God, she's got it. It's Torn by Natalie Mugler. Yes, that's it. Wait. Everything is incorrect. Oh, no. You're a line behind. I'm a line behind.

Parallel on the mezzanine. On the mezzanine. There we go. Jeez, it's tough. Jeez, you're getting mine. That's crazy. It was just that final line. I was like, oh, my God.

The mezzanine, yeah. Gotcha. All right, my next one. All right. Are you ready? Yeah. I arise from my slumber at dawn and I stride al fresco. I draw a profound oxygen supply and I begin to feel quite jolly. Could you repeat it, please?

So what could that be? I wake up in the morning. Peter, please. I arise from my slumber at dawn. So what could that be? I wake up in the morning. And I stride al fresco. And I wake up in the morning and I walk outside. No, please. You either know it or you don't. Give it one more line.

Wait. I draw a profound oxygen supply and begin to feel quite jolly. I draw a breath. And I get real high. It's this. Into a wake in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I take a deep breath.

How from the furthermost point of my primary respiratory organ what is currently occurring? Jenna. And I say, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn it. Wake up in the morning. No. Jenna.

I stumped her with all of them. If you get Mitch's third and final, that'll be fucking hilarious. If you get mine, that means you're three for three. You might have to do a tiebreaker. Oh, I didn't think about this. Right, I'll get preparing a tiebreaker. You get preparing while I do mine. But also, what tie are we breaking?

She's not tied with anyone. Yeah, true. Well, it's a draw. She needs to either win or lose. There needs to be a winner or a loser. A pass or fail. Yes, that's correct. So you think, I'll do mine, ready, Jenna?

Look me in the eyes. You've got this. Well, you've got all the other three, so fucking look me in the groin. I don't want you to get it. No, sorry. Didn't mean that. Look at my cock, bitch. No, that's not what I meant.

All right, here we go. Okay. When we are remote from one another, I clinically decline. Grant me a signal. I beg of you to assault me, infant, once again. I beg of you to assault me, infant, once again. That's the key for it. That's a classic line.

Repaint it again, please. The whole song? Yeah. Okay. When we are remote from one another, I clinically decline. Grant me a signal. I beg of you to assault me, infant, once again. That last line is just everyone in the world knows it.

I beg of you to assault me, infant, once again. We should have gotten like a 20-second time or something. No, no, no. She's thinking for too long. Yeah, too long. I keep laughing at the infant part. And I'll just point out, the infant is hitting me. I'm not hitting the infant.

Can you repeat that final line? I beg of you to assault me, infant, once again. You could almost say that the baby's hitting you. Yeah. And you're asking the baby to hit you. How many more times? Ah! Hit me, baby!

Ah! I couldn't explain. Give me a signal. I beg of you to assault me if it's one more time. Do it. Do it. Spank me, toddler. Oh, well, you got that.

Yay! Here we go, three out of six. I didn't think about... do we need a tiebreaker? Do we need a tiebreaker? My heart is beating. Well done. That was stressful. I'll see if I can think of one on the spot.

Yeah, okay. Let me have a quick look. Yeah, take your time. It was a tiebreaker. You did very well. Thank you. That was stressful. It was not. It was a tiebreaker. You did very well. Thank you. That was stressful. It was not.

It was. Needs to be a hit 90s song. What year were you born? Do you know who you're allowed to disclose? Three. That's my sister's age. Fuck, I forget how old you are. She's got two kids and one on the way.

Do you know? Keep up. And she goes to church every Sunday. Lifts your game. No, she doesn't. Oh, doesn't she? No. Oh.

What about this? Here we go. I'm a fictional, wish-granting, mythical creature in a cylindrical container. You've got to massage me in the correct manner. Genie in a bottle. She's got it. She's won. I'm a genie in a bottle.

What did I call the genie? A fictional wish granting mythical. I don't fucking know. I thought can. When you said cylindrical container, I'm like can of soup. No, that's the bottle. That's what I meant. Well done, Jenna.

It was the mythical part that I was like. We were very easy on you. This should have been a ten second timer. You know what I was thinking we could do? Yeah. Maybe not this week, but because I've just brought one of my old segments from Not My Cup of Tea. And I think I've proven beyond any reasonable doubt that it fucking slapped. It was a good game.

Therefore, my old podcast slapped, despite your dry heaving every time I mention Not My Cup of Tea. I'm allergic. Maybe we should do an old game from your old podcast. What was it again? Lemonade with Mitch and someone. Mitch and Paige. Lemonade with Mitch and Paige. Did you do any segments on that?

Any benchmarks you can bring here? Benchmarks? We only got to, I think, six episodes. Is that it? Really? The fact that we're in 90 is a miracle. We're also a drive show on the Triple H FM in Hornsby. I can find one, yeah.

All right. You want me to bring a segment from my hit award-winning six-episode podcast? Six-part series. Makes it sound less of a failure when you say that. Makes it sound like I went to Afghanistan to report on war. Alright, yeah, I can bring a segment. There'd be one I can bring. And then Jenna can decide, because

she's impartial, whose old podcast was better. Alright. I agree. I'll bring it. Give me a couple weeks. Couple weeks? I can do it next week. I don't care. You can even think of anything. Yeah, I can think of anything. Did you have segments or did you just talk shit?

No, we had too many segments. I think that was the problem. Oh. It was very structured. We had run sheets that I prepared. God. When was the last time we used a run sheet? Don't know.

We sit down right before we turn the mics on for this podcast and we go, what are we going to do? We'll just talk about stuff. You know, we'll talk. We just made up a fucking song lyric on the spot, guys. It was impressive. Yeah, and I'm pretty impressed with my ability to do that given I'm hungover.

It's all fine. Yeah, well done, Mitch. A round of applause for you. My brain is a little bit, you know, under the weather today. That's all right. You relax, actually. I don't want you doing any more heavy lifting because we are actually potentially passing the heavy lifting over

to another part of the team. Oh, that's right. Who? Now here's Jenna. That's right. You might remember a couple of weeks ago on the podcast, we floated the idea that over the Christmas New Year break when Mitch and I are obviously not doing the podcast every week,

we should get Jenna to do a fill-in show. That's right. And all good radio shows, we all come from radio, the three of us, Mitch not anymore, but, you know, still it's his heart lies in radio. All good radio shows have a fill-in show. That's right. And all good radio shows, we all come from radio, the three of us, Mitch not anymore, but, you know, still it's his heart lies in radio. All good radio shows have a fill-in show. I fill in for Kyle and Jackie O. Jenna was approached to fill in for Jonesy and Amanda, but there was some political belief clashes.

And we decided we need one too. Yeah, and we said that maybe Jenna could do it. And she did agree to it, but we were, like, not sure if she was kidding or not. So we're actually wanting to know if you want to actually do this fill-in show. And not only that, but we're not going to leave you to your own devices. We're thinking we can get listeners to help you with it. Yeah, and now don't get this miffed, is it just me, listeners.

Jenna is talent. Thank you. When we're not here, she is the one standing original member of the team. Yeah. And so what I was thinking is we could get listeners on to pitch segments to you. Yes. And this is on our show, not the fill-in show. This is all in preparation for the fill-in show.

Yeah, we will. They come on. Of course, yes. And they pitch any segment ideas and they will actually do the segments with you. Correct. In the episode. So, like, maybe someone's got a quiz idea and they have a game or something like that that they want to do with Jenna on the show.

So she's got to call it a bounce off because I can't think of anything fucking worse than Jenna's stream of consciousness. Just her talking to no one. So she needs A, a producer, so someone to bring her content ideas and B, someone to riff with. Yes. So I thought maybe there's a listener out there, a listener or two even, that wants to, you know, throw their hat in the ring.

Is that the saying? Suggestion, suggestion. Yep. I'd love to see history debating. I'd love Gemma, Gemma, I'd love this girl here to either be affirmative or negative, preferably negative, on a fantastic, well-known and researched and written about historical event and you to debate it with someone.

I'd love to see that. I'm up for that. You think that's a good segment? Absolutely. I agree. So if you want to produce history debating, hit us up and we can make it happen. Yeah, and I'm not fucking around when I say that you're feeling it.

Like, I'm not editing anything. I'm not doing anything. I actually genuinely want nothing to do with it. Mitch has his stand-up shows. I've got TV. We're very busy. We're feeling it. Like, I'm not editing anything. I'm not doing anything. I actually genuinely want nothing to do with it. Mitch has his stand-up shows. I've got TV. We're very busy. We're tired people. Do you know how to use the studio, Jenna?

No. Well, you'll fucking figure it out. Okay. Now, Jenna, I'm turning my mic and Mitch's mic off. You now have to work out how to turn them on. Oh, no, I don't. I'll just get a tech to do it. Tex, hello.

Come in. Now. Turn it on. We have a lot of work to do. You know what we should do? As part of the training process, getting her ready for the Jennifer Ling over summer. I love this.

We should actually get her to panel an episode of this podcast. Oh, should I? Because it'd be hard to be any worse at panelling than you because you fuck it up all the time. That's my job. Yes, you're right. Oh, my God, I would love to. Hold on, we just have to confirm, Jenna.

Have you said yes? Can we commit? I have a contract here in my hand. I've written it. It says, Jenna's fill-in show, named TBC. But I like the Jenna fling. I just thought of that then. Three to six fill-in shows.

We haven't decided how many weeks we're taking off, so three to six. Yep. Over the Christmas 2021-2022 break. Yes. I need name, date and sign. There's a pen. There's a contract. Take your time.

I don't mind if your lawyers have to read over it. I've been watching Succession. They say that all the time. Okay. Get your lawyers to read over it. It's actually, can I just say, they're not fucking around. It's definitely worth getting people to read over your contract. Yeah, that's actually good career advice.

Saved my ass many times. I now have three cans of Coke in my kiss contract. For a year, it's a terrible deal. Jenna, any issues in the contract? It doesn't appear to be any issues. Oh, my God, you wrote it in Sharpie? Yeah. I'm looking at this now.

I didn't see it on the other side of the desk. Mitch, couldn't you have fucking printed it? Anyway, it still counts if you sign that. A handwritten contract is just as good as anything. Jenna. Your handwriting's actually quite nice, Mitch. I'm actually impressed. Okay, I'm just going to add an apostrophe after my name.

Yeah, it's Jenna's with an apostrophe because it's ownership. You just wrote J-E-N-N-A-S. Oh, Jenna's. Jenna's. Jenna's. Prizekeeper Jenna's. It's like Jenna's. Prizekeeper Jenna's.

Do you think there's one person out there that thinks her name is Jenna's? I think there would be. My dad doesn't know. He's like, that girl. I don't know why I find it so funny when people confidently say people's names wrong. Like Janice. I was watching A Current Affair with Tracy Grumshaw. When I was an extra on Home and Away, they all called me Janice.

Did they? And I didn't correct them. Oh, no. Why would you? So, yes, after she's signed this, over the next few weeks, we'll get any producers out there who want to bring their ideas to Jenna. We'll get them on the show. Guys.

She's done the date. I'm going to sign. Do it. Wow. I signed it. We've got a fill-in show! Oh, my God. There we go.

Jenna Fling coming soon. No, the name has not been decided on. Yeah. Is there some sort of Jenna Summer pun? I don't know. Jenna. Jenna Side. Jenna Side Show.

What's that got to do with summer and holidays? Because she's going to kill this show. Yeah, you're right. You can think about it. It's your show. Okay. And we can get it all done. It'll be on in the break. But there you go, guys. Your feed will

not be empty of Is It Just Me content in the foreseeable future over the break. Yes, and don't let it, don't lose sight of how fucking generous this is. You know how generous. He had to basically pry this podcast out of my bare hands because I'm like, you can't have a couple of mitters without a couple of mitters. And he goes, yeah, you fucking can.

So Jenna's going to be doing the show without us. I have to beg for this, Jenna. Thank you so much. I'm putting myself you can't have a couple of Mitch's without a couple of Mitch's. And he goes, yeah, you fucking can. So Jenna's going to be doing the show without us. I have to beg for this, Jenna. Thank you so much. I'm putting myself out there for you. Okay. I'll show you guys. There's a lot of money. It's going to be great.

Can't wait for it, Jenna. Can't wait to hear the ideas. Like Mitch said, if you have an idea, if you want to produce a segment for Jenna, if you want to pitch a segment, we'll have details in the coming weeks. Hit us up on the socials, DM Jenna, or hit up our secret Facebook group, Endurant Idiots, if you want to join the fun and become a VIP fan. Idiots. Endurant with an E.

Idiots on Facebook. All right. What a good 90th episode. Happy 90th, girl. Happy 90s, everyone. We made it. We had a plan for the 100th episode, but as has happened many times before, Mitch agreed and then forgot that he agreed.

We were going to record our 100th episode in Bogengate, my hometown. And he was going to come do it just after New Year's, like early January. And then we were going to hold on to it for the 100th episode. We had all sorts of things planned. We were going to do stuff from the pub. We were going to take him fox hunting, like all sorts of mask country experiences out in the middle of nowhere. And then I overheard Mitch and Hayden.

Oh, Hayden said something about, oh, we might do New Year's in Vegas or like LA. And I'm like, oh, so you haven't told him you're going to Bougainvillea then? And he goes, oh, fuck. So yeah, our 100th episode could very well be shit, just so you know, everyone. We had something there. We had something very special planned, but now it's gone. That would have been so much fun. Now you've ruined the surprise because we still will do that one day.

No, we won't. Do you not think we'll get to 200? No, we'll get to 200. That's not the concern. I just don't think you're going to go to Bougainvillea because you'll find it too much effort. No, that's not true. I will go to Bougainvillea. You're always tired, though.

You'll be too tired to drive. Hayden can't fucking drive. Let me get my thyroid checked and then we will discuss me going to Bougainvillea. It'll happen. Mark my words. Jane and Ian were very excited. Oh, don't say that. Oh, that'll give him something to gossip about.

The fat one's not coming anymore. They were going to have Mitch Chiri over New Year's. They were very excited. Oh, no. And then I had to tell them, he fucking forgot because you mean nothing to him, Ian and Jane. Oh, no, because your dad thinks I'm a big-time celebrity. I don't think he's ever said that. He does.

He does not. He thought I was on big time celebrity. I don't think he's ever said that. He does. He does not. He thought I was on Survivor, Jenna. Yeah, because he posted photos of you in Survivor. Yeah, have you noticed that Mitch posts a lot of shit on Instagram without context? Yeah, well, actually, what was the point of the Survivor post? I'm recording a radio show for him. He never clarified in the Instagram caption, which he photoshopped the Channel 10 logo on himself.

He never clarified in the Instagram caption, I'm here recording interviews with everyone on Survivor. So my dad was like, oh, Mitch is on Survivor, is he? I was like, absolutely not. I don't have a producer. I have to do it myself. And withhold information. It's lying by omission.

Now, I said, I've recorded a radio show while I was on the set of Survivor. I think you'll find you edited that in later. I did not. After I told you the confusion, my dad thought you were on television. Also, it was at Kudos Bank Arena and everyone thought I was performing a concert. Yeah, so what's the much less glamorous truth behind that photo? There's a big picture of you up at the stadium where Pink's usually fucking doing whirly winds in the fucking air and all that stuff.

I was hosting the Healthcare Worker Thank You concert. I did a raffle. What, really? I did a raffle. What, really? I did a raffle, man. A nurse from Coggera won. Big time celebrity shit over there. So you weren't recording the radio show there? No.

God, the acoustics would be dreadful. I thought you were there to actually do something. We're not going to meet you at midnight. I thought you were there to actually do something. I did record a radio show, but it hasn't aired yet because we're airing a thank you special. Oh, that's nice. So it will happen. Listen, my job is very up in the air, everyone.

You can't pinpoint it. You can, though. You can say what you're doing in the photo so people don't get confused. Yeah, but how boring. Here I am at Kudos filming a TBC edited radio show. Boring. I'm just going to go fucking get my own microphone sock, you know, the cubes that all the reporters have around with the logo.

I'm going to put the Sunrise logo on one and post a photo of me, like, on the top of a mountain or something being like, oh, bringing you today's weather. No one's going to fact check me. I can just trick everyone on Instagram. Yeah, I'm the Sunrise weatherman now. People know I have a radio show. It's context.

Mitchell, do you remember that photo of me in front of the voice sign? I got through to the final round of the voice. When we used to work together, we went to, was it the Sony office? I think so. To interview someone. Can't even remember. Don't know. And there was a plasma screen in the waiting room with the voice logo on it.

And I said, Jenna, stand in front of that and look really shocked, like your hands over your mouth, like, oh, my God. And so I got that photo and she posted, I made it through. I nailed my blind audition. There's people still messaging me asking me about the voice. You are not. Oh, Jenna. Anyway, the moral of that story is don't believe shit Mitch Cherry says.

He doesn't have a gym playlist. He wasn't on Survivor. It's all rubbish. You know what? Yeah, you're probably right. I agree. Let's get out of here, guys. If you want to get on the show in any way, we've got many ways for you now.

You can produce Jenna's show. You can do an Is It Just You? Or Tinder, Fizzes and Fairy Tales. That's the one I'm looking forward to because I've got some fizzes of my own, don't you? Oh, yeah. That'll be very exciting. Going to be a big couple of weeks. We can't wait to see you in our 90th season.

No, not 90th season. Our 90th, what would you call it? Era. Era, yeah. 90th era. It all begins now. Thank you for listening and we'll see you guys next week. Yep, thanks for listening.

Catch you soon. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment on the end. We pretend we're done and then we keep chatting.

Hopefully most people don't hear this part because it's, yeah, it's a bit embarrassing, this stuff. It's got a bit rogue, got a bit feral even. Do you mind if I eat this Danish? Well, I wouldn't, but people are always writing complaints about us eating on the podcast. Look how good it looks. Oh, that looks – It does not look good at all. Yeah.

Those blueberries are fucking like sunk into it. I liked it all except the blueberries. The cafe said you get a $1 Danish with any bacon egg roll order. So I said, okay, so now I have a Danish. As well as a bacon egg roll. Yeah. Yeah, right. That was two hours ago, so this is my...

I'll have it after for the audience. The millions listening. How was last night, Mitchell? Poof, doof, doof, back open, gay clubbing. Did you kiss anyone? Nah. Really? No, no, I didn't. Oh, good. No. Was I meant to? No, no, they just fawn over you. Oh, Mitch, oh, Mitch. I actually wasn't there long. I usually stay until, like,

God knows, like, the sun's literally rising when I leave, usually. But I went by, like, 1.30. That's early for me. That is very early for you. I was like, oh, I've got an award-winning podcast to record. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The awards won't win themselves. No, that's right. No, no.

And yet they do. They do somehow. We've never accepted one, but we have them. Yeah, fuck. I was literally wiping shit off my brand new floorboards. Oh, yes. I heard about your plumbing issues. It's just so bad.

That's cool. The landlord goes, you know, maybe you just don't flush things down those toilets. What do you mean? Oh, come on. That's what they're for. Yeah, what do I do with my shit? This is going back to the stemless wine glasses,

a flushless toilet. It's pointless without that. I know, 100%. Fucking flushless toilet. All my wheels have fallen off my car. Why don't you just drive it anyway? Maybe you shouldn't put a lot of weight on that car. Yeah.

There's no ties. Yeah. Oh, my fridge doesn't work. Oh, maybe just don't put milk in it. That's what it's for! Yeah, just make sure you don't put anything that needs to be kept cold in your fridge. It won't do it. Literally.

Fuck it. He said maybe put toilet paper in the bin. Oh, yeah. Like an Amish boy. No. You're going to have to get like a, what are those things that, those post hole diggers and you're just going to have to make a long drop in the backyard Oh no

No no no That's I'll add that to the list of things to do in the Bogan Gate episode I'll make you use the long drop near a hearing shed Oh yes Yes No It's rancid

And it's centuries old You'd also hear it wouldn't you Fall Yeah it's like Squeeze it out Oh no Haven't you ever gone on one of it's like, squeeze it out. Haven't you ever gone on one of those dodgy long drops on the side of a road? Like those half-assed rest stops on the highway?

I have once on the way to Wollongong and a moth hit me on the butthole. True story. A bogan moth. Bogong. Bogong, is that right? Yeah, they're not bogan moths. I thought they were bogan moths. I can tell you the reason why I know that.

Why? Because when I was interviewed on Sunrise for that Bogan Gate viral video all those years ago, Samantha Armitage was saying something about, now we know that the word Bogan is, you know, it gets thrown around a lot these days. You know, there's the Bogan moth. But what is the, you revealed the actual meaning behind the word, which is it's an Indigenous word. That's what Bogan Gate's named after. And it's meant to be like something noble, not a grot.

But all these viewers wrote in being like, it's a Bogong moth, Sam. It's not called fucking Bogan moth. Oh, my God. I'm a fucking idiot. You know what I did last night on the way back from Pooftorf? What? I had a moment because I was listening to the new, you know how Taylor Swift is releasing all of her old albums?

Oh, Hayden made me watch the 10-minute video. Oh, the short film. I don't want to watch a short film. It's very sad. For those who don't know the story, basically, she's re-recording all of her old albums because she wants complete ownership of it. And she's like, I don't want some scabby record label owning my music.

It would be like if iHeartRadio said to us, yeah, no, we own your podcast. So, like, if we ever left iHeart, they're like, well, we're keeping all the episodes. And we just re-recorded them. Like, we're just re-voicing them. I couldn't do that. No.

How would we do it? I couldn't do it. But apparently they actually did that when, because you know how Kyle and Jackie O moved from Today FM to Kiss? Yes. Today FM were like, well, we own all of your audio, so you can't use any of that voiceover stuff in your opener. Because you know how the Kyle and Jackie O opener has were like, well, we own all of your audio, so you can't use any of that voiceover stuff in your opener. Because you know how the Kyle and Jackie opener has, like,

replays of them giving away big prizes? Yeah. And Kyle's like, okay, that's fine. I'll just re-record it. So we came into kids and was like, oh, my God, you've won $1 million. And they just used that. He's like, you own the audio, but you don't own my voice.

I can just say it again. Oh, my God. They just re-recorded everything. That's so smart. But anyway, she's re-recorded all her old stuff. The latest one to be released is Red. I don't necessarily love Taylor's versions of all of them, but I was having a moment in the back of the car

because I forgot this song existed. Can you look up Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran? Preferably Taylor's version. Yep, yep. Can you explain to me, because I'm not a Swiffle, what are they called? Swifty. Swifty. Swifty.

I thought that's what you get in the backseat of a car on your first date. Swifty. What has she done? So Scooter Braun, her ex-manager, owns the Masters. I don't know if he's her ex-manager. I just know that she doesn't want a bar of him for various reasons. He bought it. Yeah, he bought the label and so has now, you know,

acquired all of her original recordings. She still makes money off the old versions of the songs, but she just wants to own them. And I think part of the reason she was pissed off is because she also wasn't consulted. If she knew she had the option to buy them herself, she would have done that. But he just went ahead and bought it.

She didn't even know they were for sale. And then she's tried reaching out and, like, negotiating with them, but they just weren't having a bar of it. So she's ahead and bought it. She didn't even know they were for sale. And then she's tried reaching out and negotiating with them, but they just weren't having a bar of it. So she's like, fuck it. You might own my original recordings, but I wrote the bastards, so I'll just re-record them all. Genius. So you want Taylor Swift featuring Ed Sheeran,

Everything Has Changed, Taylor's version from the Vault lyric video. Yeah, it's a bit messy, all the titling, a lot of brackets. But yeah, that's the one I want. I forgot this song exists. Okay, here we go. It's been in my head all day now. This is a new one. You might not recognise it yet, but you will.

So the one thing I do like is that her voice, because she's older now, her voice is just a bit more velvety. It's a bit richer now, so it sounds better. Did she have to get Ed back on this to re-record it? Yep. Freckles. You'll know it. Oh, I know this.

Me in the back of the Uber last night To no one Here comes the chorus bitch All I know is you said hello And your eyes are looking like coming home All I know is a simple name Everything has changed All I know is you have a girl Everything has changed, even their voices. What a nice double meaning now. All I know since yesterday

Is everything has changed I love Taylor Swift, the effect she's had on people. That is the most obvious statement you could have possibly said. Like, the sky's blue. People love Taylor Swift. No, but I couldn't care less about the re-release. I think it's cool, but the internet is ablaze and Hayden's crying on the couch. I'm like, why?

Yeah, I wouldn't cry on the couch about it. Some of the re-recorded versions I think are no good compared to the original. But this one I like. Yeah. But yeah, it's actually kind of smart, isn't it? She's just making all this fucking money off songs that she didn't even have to think of. She's already done them. Genius.

And she'll just fucking go and win Grammys for it. She'll win more awards. But it's annoying me because she's doing it out of order. Like she did Fearless, which was not her first album. But one of her best. It was like the one that kind of burst onto the scene with, you know. I think it was her second. What is it?

Love Story or that. Yeah, it was her second. And now she's skipped forward to Red. She skipped an album. And she's going to have to record all of them right up into Reputation, which was 2017. And I'm like, I don't know if she's going to be able to re-record that because she was real pissed off when she did that album.

Yeah, she was mad. That was the Kanye, Taylor Swift, Kim Kardashian drama. What you made me do. She's not going to be able to channel that anger again. She seems really peaceful and just chilling in forests these days. Yeah, she does love a cardigan in a forest. My favourite Taylor Swift song, and it's controversial, one of my top, I should say, top three is this.

Can I go where you go? My favourite Taylor Swift song, and it's controversial, one of my top, I should say, top three is this. Yep. So she doesn't have to re-record this because she already owns this. Oh, really? Everything from Lover Onwards, she owns. This is nice. What was the one that got all the hate when she was like, spelling is fun? That was me. Yeah, me, me.

Yeah, that was odd. I loved it and I realised that she knew it was Daggy and that's why she did it. It was kind of like a fuck you, I know this is lame, but I'm releasing it anyway. Really? This one, hold on, this is... Like it was so childish, but I loved it.

It felt like a theatre production, this song. Yeah, it was very... And the music video was very good. The music video was good. Me, me, me. Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let me keep you coming.

Is that Brandon Urie? Yeah. Yeah, that's another way that they've messied the title. This song is always me featuring Brandon Urie of Panic! at the Disco. It's like clearly there's some sort of fucking dispute happening there where Panic at the Disco must be credited. It's like a long-ass sentence to put in some brackets.

It's like the shortest song title ever, me, and then a fucking paragraph in brackets from Brendan Urie, Panic at the Disco, 2009 rock band. Famous for hits such as I Write Sins on Tragedies. All in brackets. That's actually very hard for me as a radio announcer because I don't know where to stop. I don't know what to say.

There's a new song on the playlist now, right? Let me find it. And there are that many fucking people on it that I just give up. I only say one, the most well-known. Here we go. So this is Better Days. Here's Better Days featuring Naked, May Muller, Polo G and Alicia. We don't need to know.

You probably don't need to say that. And what did Alicia do? Alicia probably came up with the name. Who the fuck's Alicia? I know. Not Alicia Keys. Just Alicia. Just Alicia.

I'm like, well, we thanked everyone. May as well thank the cleaner. Leash. Thanks. Yeah, that's exactly right. Nicole did get us iced water when we sang and that helped. So add Nicole to the credits. Too much.

Anywho. Do you know, did we tell the story about how the other night when we were out for All Right Hayes' birthday, we got the security guard to listen to our show? And he did listen to it. Oh, that's right. We were like- How did that even come up? I do remember telling the bouncer to look up our podcast and he did it and found it

on Spotify and he held the phone to his ear for about three seconds and goes, yeah, you guys are funny. And I was like, how do you know from three seconds? No, no. So he goes, you need your ID. You signed in and said Mitch. I signed in and said Mitch. He went, oh, you're both Mitch.

And I went, we're a couple of Mitches. And we laughed. And then I went, should do a podcast. Ha ha ha. You should check out our award winning podcast though. Yeah, yeah. And then we went, we actually do. And he goes, oh, this is funny, eh?

And then we're like, didn't listen. Anyway, my sister came about an hour later, as you'll know, because she was blind drunk and you kissed her, I believe. Yeah, when you told me, because I don't recall this, when you told me that I fucking kissed your sister, I was like, that's very out of character. Why would I do that? And then I realised that you took a photo.

And I was like, oh, I did it for content. That makes sense. That's the only reason I would have done it. Hashtag ad. And she was a cop oh, I did it for content. That makes sense. That's the only reason I would have done it. Hashtag ad. And she was a cop. New South Wales Police Force ad. Gifted this female cop to Kiz. And I went out to get my sister an hour later and he was like,

oh, it's so good, eh? And was blistering an hour later because he showed me his phone and Android. It was disgusting. But our heads were there. It was very sweet. Shouldn't his mind have been more on the job? There could have been several King hits during that time.

He's just pissing himself for Jenna's junk. It's a good segment. It's a great segment. But isn't that funny? That's old school marketing. That's one new organic listener we've got from word of mouth. I love a bit of word of mouth. I reckon I've tripled

my massage therapist Leone's client base by just saying, had a massage today. It was great. Who was it with? Oh, Leone. Sent them a link. All my friends go to Leone now. Yep, yep, yep. And word of mouth is very undervalued. It is. It's powerful, especially if someone you respect tells you something that you want or need. So tell a friend about this podcast today, you idiots. I'd actually love that if you could tell a friend Also guys don't forget you can leave us a review It actually keeps us going on the cloud It's very appreciated

It'll be pretty hard to forget We've fucking told them a million times And yet there's some that just haven't done it yet You know I was teeing up I've got an interview with Jess Malboy For my radio show actually Yeah we have one for the podcast too Oh my god she's on the podcast too

Yeah you're right Yeah so in the next couple of weeks. Are we doing that on the same day? Your radio as well as our podcast? Yeah, I'm straight after. Oh, okay. Yeah, we'll just say, you know, I'll be there. I don't know if I told you.

I locked that in too. You're fine. We have Jess Malboy coming up for her new song, but the label messaged me like, hey, don't forget to push Jess's new song Glow. They can stream it anywhere or buy it for $1.99 on iTunes. I don't think that's how it works these days. That used to be such a thing.

It was like a catchphrase in 2012. Buy out, pop an iTunes. Yeah. Have you heard New Jess Malboy? Yeah. They sent me an advanced version of the label and I was like, oh, here we go. I'm going to have to be polite, but no, it's good.

Yeah. Ready? The chorus was in my head all day. The little whisper in the background. Forget it. We're allowed to play this with copyright because we're critiquing it. Yes, true. We're talking to her.

Yeah. This is training. Oh, it's going. If you knew me at all, it would just be natural. Baby, just let me go. Very good. I really like it. That little duh. Forget it.

My favourite part. That's me at a party when someone goes, hi, I'm David. And I go, duh, forget it. I think my favourite Jess one, because you know I love a belter and an emo ballad. Yeah. My favourite is Little Things. Oh, that's a good one. I love the last chorus when she goes a bit manic.

Go to the last chorus. Or maybe this is it. No, it's not. A bit further. Here. This is when she goes a bit manic. She's thinking of Dicker. Why didn't he put me through on Idol?

Why didn't I get a touchdown? It's a bit yelly, but I love it. Yeah. Imagine coming home to that and yelling at you, I LOSE MAMA! We're sick of you! We're not! I did the dishes!

You didn't even thank me! Now, the best Jess Malway song of all time is this. I don't think so. Yeah, wait for the little... I know the song, but that's not her best one. It's very Britney. Wait for the... It's good. I'm down.

What's the other good song of hers? It's like that one that everyone knows. Oh. That's good. I'm down. What's the other good song of hers? It's like that one that everyone knows. Oh. Jess has it. Burn. Do Burn. Oh, yeah. Jenna's favourite.

She loves burning shit. I love Burn. She does. Here, here, here. Sorry, that was a real gamble, guys. It was just Burn. The hook. I couldn't have picked that. Next thing, it'll be real gamble, guys. It was just Burn, the hook. I couldn't have picked that.

Next thing, it'll be Ellie Goulding. And they gotta let it burn, burn, burn. Well, this is it. Burn. Hook Burn. And we're gonna let it burn. How about you type in the artist's name as well? That's not how the system works.

Burn. Oh, this is good. This is Britney. Sounds like toxic. Bird. Oh, this is good. This is Britney. Sounds like toxic.

You're not up the street. Maybe this isn't the best one. No, the hook is. Yeah. You want some radio trivia? No, no. When we have in Sydney or in Australia really bad bushfires, we have to remove songs like this from the playlist.

Oh, yes. Yeah, you do. And if there's a flood, you have to remove things like, I don't know, It's Raining Men. Yes. It's a bit insensitive. Did you know on WS they don't remove it? So during the bushfires, every day they played We Didn't Start the Fire. Oh, dear.

You guys also still play Michael Jackson at the height of that. Yes. But not during Jonesy and Amanda because they won't let. Oh, good. Yes, Amanda is progressive. And during COVID, Keith definitely had to put a bit of pause on. Is anyone out there? Because it's getting harder and harder to breathe.

Go on. Go on. Go on. Leave me breathless. We play that a lot. Who the fuck sings that again? The cause. The cause. I was going to say the crows.

Jenna, what's the WSFM song that plays when you go off air? Your backup type. Solid Rock. Solid Rock. Solid Rock. Yeah, it played the other day during Remembrance Day. Oh, because you did a minute silence. You know what the Rock FM one was? What?

When I worked at 95.5 The Rock. What was it? In Parks. It was Try by Pink and their theory was that if there's been a long silence, you don't want a big boom song to give people a fright. It's kind of got a gentle build up. But I think it's a little bit too quiet because I'm like, we're still off air. Oh no, Try's playing for 20 seconds.

Play Try by Pink. You're coming. See, that's even more tense than the silence. That's not right. Because there's no one talking over it. Up to the post, if the silence. That's not right. Because there's no one talking over it. Up to the post, if you will. That's not right. Well, what about during Remembrance Day?

15 seconds passes after the... You know that? Yeah, the bugle. The last post. And then play Solid Rock by Goenna. That's quite jarring, isn't it? It is. Yeah, there's no flow going on there

And the thing is No That's it No it's just it No Is that not it No I feel like it can't be that hard to get the right one

Here we go This starts like This is a boomer audience who are listening We've got many complaints About what? This coming on during the minute silence. Our workplace. Yeah, that's insensitive. We're observing Remembrance Day and solid rock comes on.

Oh, my God. That is so funny. Imagine all the fucking idiots crowded around WSFM being like, yeah, we're going to tune in to silence. Oh, no. And then they get this. I want to shush. Why don't they just turn the radio off?

Fuckheads. There you go. There's your silence. You could have 10-minute silence if you really want to remember. Yes. You control the silence. That should be our catchphrase. Is it just me?

You control the silence. Yeah. That's good. I get sued by Jamboree. You control the action. Jamboree looks so shit. Have you never been? No. I've never been to Jamboree looks so shit. Have you never been? No.

I've never been to Jamboree. We went for year 12 celebrations. It looks like the most fucking revolting theme park ever. I always wanted to go to Jamboree. Jamboree. Imagine how many STIs have been cut up and down those water slides. Oh, yeah. STIs everywhere.

Those cart things that go around. Cars? Carts. The toboggan? Oh, yes. The ice everywhere. Those cart things that go around. Cars? Carts. The toboggan. Yeah, something where you're not in swimming costumes. No, there is a toboggan there, yes. They've also got- The toboggan again?

A toboggan is a metal slide where you're in a little thing with a lever. The best toboggan in Australia is the Big Banana. The Big Banana also sucks. I just came back from Byron and the big prawn is shit. Just saying. You know where I've been that I don't think anyone else has been? Where? The big Slurpee.

There's a big Slurpee? Yeah. Where? Bet you drank the whole thing, you fucking pig. It's gone. It's empty. Let me find it. I don't know where it is.

There's a big Bogan in Ningan, which was quite controversial because Bogangate were like, wouldn't we get that landmark? And Ningan's not far from Bogangate. a big bogan in Ningan, which was quite controversial because Bogangate were like, wouldn't we get that landmark? And Ningan's not far from Bogangate. It's your mum in Ningan. Ningan. Ningan. N-Y-N-G-A-N. Ningan.

Careful. Here, the Big Slurpee. What is that about? Again, not that fucking big. No, it is. The Big Slurpee. Visit it or drink it. I don't know where the fuck it is.

You know what else I was going to take you to when we went to Bogangate, which is no longer happening? We're going to go. Look up Utes in the Paddock. It's an art exhibition near Bougainvillea. It's literally what it sounds like. It's a bunch of Utes in a paddock, but they've done them up. They're real cute. One's like a Vegemite jar.

One of the Utes has Dame Edna on a port-a-loo. Oh, cool! There's like an emu-looking one. See, look at this. Google Utes in the Paddock. They're fancy. One of them's a beer bottle. I've been to something like that in the States. Fuck off. It's not as good as Utes in the paddock in Uther.

In Uther? Yeah, that's the suburb, if you will, near Condi, Berlin and Bougainvillea. Uther. Good to know. Yeah. Oh, I wish we were going. You weren't invited. It was just Mitch.

Oh. You've got a fill-in show to focus on. No, I think it would be easy for Jenna to come because she'll be in Dubbo probably. I think we can go, guys, between you and me. I don't think LA's a good move. Hayden's very upset because he was very excited. But I've got too much to do. Has he thought about doing things without you before?

Yeah, but we never have time off together. A holiday together is what we want to do. Well, yeah, it's not like you're never going to have another holiday together. No, I know. But yes, I know. We will. Anyway. I feel like if I was in a relationship, God, I reckon I'd value that fucking alone time a lot.

I've said this before and it's gotten worse. I value my alone time so much because I wake up, Hayden's working from home, so I can't even have my coffee alone. And he can't shit, so he's very cramped and stressed. Very cramped, as am I. And then by the time I leave for work at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, Hayden is still there working. So I then go to work and work. Hayden has free time in the afternoon.

I get home. Hayden's still awake at 11 o'clock at night. So any time I'm at home, Hayden is there. Oh, God. They're going to use this audio in court when he eventually murders Hayden. He's always there. He's always there. And I love it.

And there's no knives in the house. I've got no shovels in the backyard. None. Fucking hell. I don't own one. I'll bury him in sewerage. Put him in the pit. Like your little dog, John.

Yeah, we're also going to do that. I was going to take him to the shit pit that my dog drowned in. I was going to christen it with sage. Christen it? Make a memorial for John. Right, okay. Oh, that's beautiful. He already has one.

Dad made a cross. Really? Yeah, but I'll paint it. Make it. You don't need to. Dad already welded R.I.P. Johnny into it because it's steel. Imagine when they sell that house and they go, and here's the shit pit that doesn't need much maintenance,

and they think a child has fallen into it because Johnny fell over. Yeah, I know. No, that cross isn't next to the sewerage, the septic tank. We've basically got a fucking cemetery in our house. There's a bunch of dead pets buried there. My guinea pig, Russell. Bandit. Susie. A lot of dogs that are dying. You really flip-flop between human names and fun names.

I know. We've got fucking, we've got like Bandit and then we've got Julie. That's funny. But I'm the one that's going to have to deal with selling the farm eventually once mum and dad cark it. Do you think you'll sell it or you'll quit all of your media gigs and move to Bougainville? Absolutely not. Can you imagine? You could do and move to Bougainvillea. Absolutely not. Can you imagine? You could do the show from Bougainvillea.

We should actually, maybe I'll lease the land, but then I'll keep the house and I can just get fucked up every few weekends there. I'll just take friends out. I've got a place in the country. You could do it. We can go do burnouts. Can Hayden and I get married on the property? Yeah, if you want.

Underneath the pine trees. Yeah. Mind the pine cones. It's falling down. We'll have to put it in the dress so the locals think it's a woman. Of course. And you'll take it off quickly in the barn. And I'll be the best man on Brownsland.

I'll be the flower girl, please. Can I tell you a conundrum? You're not invited again. Jenna, you've died at this point. Well, I will still be there. Oh, in spirit. I've got a conundrum. My sister's getting married, the one that you kissed.

Yep. Oh, God, I didn't realise she was cheating with me. She's tasted you. No, she's getting married to her straight husband, fiancé. And they're getting married in January. Anyway, I think he feels pressured to have asked me to be in his groom's party, because he has. And now I'm with his best man.

I've only known him for a year and a half. But I'd much rather Becky's like, we want you involved in the wedding at a higher capacity than just a guest. So I'm like, then put me in your bridal party. And she's like, oh, tradition. It's got to be girls. I'm like, no. Gender roles.

Does it? I know, right? I'm like, no. So now I'm with all the straight boys. She had her hen's party on the weekend. Looked so much fun. Pale stripper. Dick straws.

Cake. Pink. I'm like, that is where I want to be. But no. I've got to go to City Tattersall's boys' showers. Oh, no. And then go watch a fucking greyhound race or something. Oh, no.

That's abusive. I completely agree. But can't I voice that? Yeah, he definitely was a pity invite being part of the bridal party. And them saying, we want you involved in a higher capacity. You should have said, no, weddings are better when I don't have a job to do. No, I'm- I did so much at my sister's wedding.

I was MC and I did all the photography. I am also MC. Yeah, that's enough. That's a pretty big capacity. I'm in the groomsman party, which is beautiful and it's such a nice gesture and I'm so touched. But I would have rather- No, you're not. No, I honestly am.

But I would have rather be involved with the women. Yeah, I remember going full woke when Mitchell was like 18 or 19 when i said to mom can i come to nicole's hen's party and she was like no it's just the girls and i was like yeah hence why i'm asking oh i'm not invited yeah but there's that girl becky my sister is the first to say when you get married to hayden can you please put me in your bridal party i want to wear a silver jumpsuit i go you don't need a gay wedding to wear a silver. You know you can buy one now. You can do that anytime.

Off ASOS. They're very cheap and they come in plus sizes. I could get a matching one if I needed to. People and their idea of gender are very silly. What even happens at your gay wedding to your gay partner? Do you walk down the aisle together? Does one meet at the end? Walk. Do I have to golf bugger you down the aisle together? Does one meet at the end? Walk.

Do I have to golf bugger you down the aisle? Maybe we should do it on a hill and you can toboggan down there. I love that. A cart. Oh, my God. Oh, Flying Fox Inn. Hugh Jackman did an Oprah House show. Oh, yes.

And there was an injury. I love that. Well, we've already discussed it. Hayden doesn't have a dad that he would want to walk down the aisle. To give him away. To give him away. Well, that's also a bit of a fuck tradition in itself. I don't like that. Yeah, 100%.

Here, my property is now your property, random man. Yeah, I don't like that. I'll give you a pint of milk for my woman. To bear children for your boy. A goat. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, what did you discuss? Well, Hayden's mother raised him essentially single,

so she will walk him down the aisle because they have such a beautiful relationship. Oh, that's nice. And then I'll just stay at the front, I guess. Oh, so you're already at the front, so it's kind of implied that Hayden's the bride. And you don't need to be given away. No, no. Because there's no way your parents would. They're like, no, just make no mistake, Hayden, he's still ours.

There's a hefty talent fee involved with giving me away. So it's just cheaper if we just. Oh, you wait till you see the exorbitant talent fee that I'm going to be charging for best man duties. Oh, really? Yeah, like by the hour. Shit. All the organising for your hen's party. Yeah, I'm going to invoice by the hour.

Oh, and you know that I hate going out. Can you make it end at eight? Yeah, it'll be like a fucking high tea or something. Oh, that's lovely. Can you just hire out a sushi train? I'd love eight? Yeah, it'll be like a fucking high tea or something. Oh, that's lovely. Can you just hire out a sushi train? I'd love that. Oh, I was thinking maybe a Donut King or something. Oh.

Krispy Kreme near the airport with the machine in it and you can watch them. But we don't even go. I'll just bring them to your place. Oh, that's beautiful. Okay. Let's hope the toilets are fixed by that point. Yeah, fuck. For guests.

It sounds like this wedding could be sooner rather than later if he's saying that the toilet might not still be fixed. Are we talking weeks? Well, that's why I want to get to LA. So that you can get down on one knee and God knows if you'll ever get up again. We've both been to LA. What a disgusting place to propose. You do it in Paris or Rome or London. You're not going to do it on the streets of LA.

Yeah, but you could do it at the observatory. It's nice there. We do like the observatory, yeah. That's very nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't want to be proposed to in a fancy place like that. Yeah. I would want it to be a bit more cash.

And more intimate. Catch me off guard, like I'm not expecting it. Yeah. Like I'm on the toilet or something, you know? Yeah, not my toilet. No. No. No, no, no.

What about you, Jenna? How many times have you been proposed to in your life Twelve Which one was your favourite None of them Are you counting the double No I've counted them as one

Oh that's one that's fair Because I didn't get along with one of them You didn't get along with the left one or the right one The right one And none of your arranged marriages count Oh no of course not There were six of those. Remember when you were sold off for a billy goat? Yes.

That was shocking. It was. And then the billy goat died, so they just traded you for a piece of naan. Yeah. I know. That was awful, Jenna. It was horrific. And I don't want to talk about it, okay?

God, the many past lives of Jenna. I hope that's not what the Jenna fling's going to be. Oh, no, Jenna. That's a secret, too. You can't reveal it. If you reveal it, the magic may disappear so when you die next it might be for real. Don't say that.

I'm just saying. Yeah, you are a cat. You've had more than nine lives so you're due for it to be your last. Yeah, that'll be sad. You probably wouldn't know so you'll just not wake up. No. Like the rest of us. Oh, that'll be shocking. Normal death. Nah, she'll come back as a fucking lady beetle or something. That'd be tragic.

It'd be really annoying. I'd be annoying. I like lady beetle. I used to catch them, put them in jars, and they'd be like, why are they dead? No oxygen supply. They were airtight jars. Do you remember those jars you used to get from Kmart? Those green things with the handle?

Yeah, it was green, and then it looked like a pineapple. It was like a container that had a neck and then like a funnel at the top. And you'd catch the bugs. It would fall in and they'd be trapped. A bug catcher. Yeah. Oh my God, Mitchell, I'm going to get a photo. I used to have them and just have all these dead crickets in my house.

No, I didn't. We didn't have a Kmart, so I never got that. And my bug catcher was me running around with a net. Yeah, country. Come here. Remember those? Oh, they're not very spacious. That cricket hasn't got much room.

What do you do with the ones that's in there? They just died. I think they would. Yeah, it's pretty awful. See, I wasn't catching lady beetles to try and murder them and suffocate them. I wanted them to be my pets. And then I'd be like, why do they keep dying? You know, hurting animals is the first sign you're a serial killer.

Jenna. No. Jenna would never hurt an animal. I'd rather hurt a human. Oh, I don't know. Do you want that on the record? That's probably the first sign that she's a serial killer. Yeah, I think that exceeds the animal part, Jenna.

You know, Jenna and I listen to the same true crime podcast. Oh, is that right? Case File. Case File. It's my favourite. We bond over severe murders. I listened to the one that you suggested. Robert Wine?

Yes. Good one. That was a very good one. Not a good case. No, well, they'd have solved it. Well done. Really awful. Yeah Wine? Yes. That was a very good one. Not a good case. No, well they never solved it. Well done. Really awful. Yeah, really bad. I feel like I'm really missing something with true crime podcasts because I don't get them.

I find them really hard to keep up with. And there's been a bunch of people that have said to us, when I'm not listening to true crime, I'm listening to Is It Just Me? And I'm like, well how the fuck could you go from one to the other? They're nothing alike. What an eclectic taste. I agree.

I've had that comparison too. I think true crime is just nice because you know it's real. Nice. No, no. It's not nice. True crime is so nice. No, no, no, no, no. The cases aren't nice.

She was brutally murdered. Oh, that's nice. We don't want a repeat of the last couple of weeks. What were the last couple of weeks? The incident in Melbourne. What? Drew Crane. Cleo.

Oh, no. No, they solved that. And we don't want a repeat of that either. Also, I had no idea that any bitch had gone missing until that day. They were like, everyone, Cleo's been found. And I was like, who? I had not heard of it prior. I genuinely don't watch the news.

I just wait for everyone else to tell me. Oh, it was on every social media. Yeah. I know. Who the fuck's Cleo? I had people DMing me going, please share this. It needs to be seen. I think she'll be okay if I don't post it.

Yeah, I get messages like that too. It's like, oh, I lost my goanna, my pet lizard in Toowoomba. I'm like, I don't know if my Toowoomba audience base is that engaged. I don't know if I'm going to help find your lizard. Yeah, I got someone who's like, Mitch, I'm in Dulwich Hill. You're close to me. It's probably like a 15-minute drive to where I live. Please, I've lost my schnauzer.

Please post it. I go, I don't think. Oh, that I would do. Sydney is a big audience base, but Toowoomba lizards. How am I going to help with that? I said, when did you lose them? He went, 2003. I think.

I think your schnauzer's gone. Give up. Give up on the schnauzer. Righto. All right, should we go? If you want. We can stay. It's 90.

We can give them a little extended. Sure, if you want. I don't mind. Got nothing to do. Well, let's just keep going into Life Aid because I've had a big night. I'm very proud of you, Mitchell, for powering through. Well done. You'll be excited for Adele's album.

Yes. When's that again? November 19. By the time the next episode is out, it will be out. Okay. Yeah, I guess so. Again, I've already been over this, but I'm a bit annoyed that it's called 30. Yeah, yeah.

I wanted to have got something else. Yeah, yeah. Stupid fibbing bitch. She is a liar. A liar. I found out that I'm working for the Arias again this year, and I got a call this week, and they're like, hi, Mitch, you all good to host the backstage of the Arias?

Yeah, of course, of course, televised. That's my day to run television. Then she said, now, you've worked with Keith before, right? And I was like, yeah, like, of course, like thinking it was. Keith holds the boom mic, doesn't he? I've met Keith. That's what I thought. I'm like, oh, yeah, Keith is the one that prints the scripts.

They're always hot. He's so quick. And she went, yeah, oh, good, good, good. Well, Nicole might not. Oh, yeah, Keith is the one that prints the scripts. They're always hot. He's so quick. And she went, yeah, oh, good, good, good. Well, Nicole might not be coming, but Keith will definitely be here. I'm like, oh, fuck, she means urban. Oh, my God. Yeah, that Keith.

And I just said, yes. And she's like, well, Amy will be there. I'm like trying to work on that. It's another white lie, much like the gym playlist in and out of LA. Oh, yeah, me and Keith, yeah, we go way back. Yeah, but I didn't want to say no. Then she goes, oh, maybe we'll hire someone else. You know, I just got to sort of take it. And I've interviewed Keith.

But there's going to be so many international stars in the country for the Arias. Really? They're allowed to, aren't they? They're allowed to come now, yeah. So when are the Arias? Next week. Next Thursday. So this coming Thursday, right?

Yes, this coming Thursday. And they're televised. Channel 9 will be hosting the backstage, everyone. They're doing three crosses to me. And they said, depending on how we blow out, you might have between two minutes and 30 seconds. Oh, you couldn't do a 30-second cross. A live cross, talking, interviewing people.

For 30 seconds. And they put a little earwig in your ear. So you go, welcome, Keith Urban. So good to have you in the country. I love Nine Pet. Rap with Keith. I didn't even ask you a question. Have you got a 30-second timer over there?

Yeah. Here's a little challenge. How many lies can you tell in 30 seconds all right here we go so what am i doing telling as many lies as you can and we cross now to mid cheery backstage hey midge what's happening so good to be here guys i've got keith urban hello keith hey i love my perfect strangers i lived in byron for a couple years and they nico Nicole really encapsulated it well. And Melissa McCarthy, who I've had on the show many times, I think six times I've had Melissa on.

I adored her, and I love you. Do you? Because I have blonde hair as well. Three. I want to know how you get the dandruff. Anyway, we can talk about that later. Your new single, Timbermatic Hazard, is my favourite. Oh, I've got to wrap, Keith,

but it's been a pleasure having you here. We've got to cross back to Elton John. That's only four lines. I thought you could do better than that. I probably could do better than that. That's tough. Keith, I used to be a country music singer as well. Really?

In my background as being a pub muso singing country songs. Same humble beginnings, darling. Back when I used to tour Australia with Shannon Null, you might know, he's a famous pub singer. Then I was shot in the knee so I couldn't do it anymore. Yeah, you're right. I was attacked by a kelpie in Gundagai. Anyway, we should drink some water.

I do feel a bit dehydrated. You need to drink water because you are hung over. Yeah, but I have been. I'm all good, look. Do you have water? Do you have it with you? Yeah. I told you.

I literally always have it. It's a habit now. If I ever forget my water bottle and I'm in the car, I feel parched. Yeah. Even if I'm leaving the house for 10 minutes. Yeah. I'm like, oh, I didn't bring a water bottle. Fuck.

Fuck. What am I going to do? Nothing worse than thinking you brought your water bottle in the car. Oh, he drinks like a toddler. Like he doesn't take breaths. Yeah, I was going through my nose. Yeah, but you know, it wasn't you that time, but when toddlers drink water and they go... And they pull out and they go...

Like a goat! Yeah, like they're on the Poseidon Adventure and just emerge from an air pocket. You know when you get in the car and you go... Poseidon Adventure, that was an odd reference. I love that film. Like of all the boat sinking movies, why wouldn't you go Titanic? Poseidon Adventure. Because you die in Titanic.

Poseidon Adventure, you escape the ship. I think plenty of people died. It's not real as well. It's fake. In the film, I remember someone dying. Manny died, yeah. Oh, the fat lady. The fat lady, yeah, she perished.

Yeah, because the boat was upside down. If you haven't seen it, it's a great movie. It gets knocked over by a tidal wave and they have to escape, but everything is upside down because the ship is reversed and they've got little air pockets. So anyway, someone's hanging from the chandelier and whatnot. It's very great. But this fat lady, because she's an opera singer,

they go, oh, she can hold her breath. She's got to swim under the water, but she doesn't make it. She dies. Anyway, nothing worse than when you get in your car and you go, oh, I didn't bring my water bottle. Oh, there's some in this bottle. And you drink it. And it's hot! Oh, yeah.

Oh, I would never do that. I'm too on top of my water bottle situation to ever let that happen. But you've been there, right? You know the feeling. Oh, yeah. Do you remember the craze? It's coming back to me. My mum went crazy about it.

You'll get cancer if you drink water that's been in a hot bottle. It was like 2009. Oh, they thought that the plastic. They thought, yes's been in a hot bottle. It was like 2009. They thought that the plastic. Some sort of remnant. It's so big. It's like you need to get the bottles with the number nine with a little bracket around it on the bottom and that's BPA free. I used to hate that. I'd be like, mum, can I get a frozen cake?

No, there's water in the car. But now I'm that bitch. I've always got water in the car. You know what Hayden always goes? He goes, can we get a fountain drink? Always wants a fountain drink. A what? Like a Coke from a fountain at a fast food store. It's from a syrup. It's different. So rather than cracking open a tinny,

it comes from a can thing. A fountain drink. Yeah, because it's different. I'm very American. I wouldn't call it a fountain. And this is coming from a highly qualified and experienced drink drawer at McDonald's. It's not a fountain. It's more of a spout. But isn't it called fountain?

I think it's called fountain drinks. I think that's the term. That's fucked. Very American. Jenna is right for the first time in this episode. Also, I've had to be the one out the back of Maccas connecting the Coke syrup to the hose. And I'm like, I hate to think what this process is. Imagine tasting the Coke concentrate that they plug in because then it mixes with water and that's what comes out of the fountain drink.

I have because when SodaStream. You tasted it? Yeah, because SodaStream had the, it's Pepsi actually, so I do lie. I have had Pepsi syrup and as a kid I tried it and it's horrific. I didn't know bloody SodaStreams could do that. I'm just hooked on water. No, but they've got the collaboration. I can feel my voice going after a big night.

Oh, Mitchell. We should go. I've got a Danish here that's crisping under the air, Con. Episode 90 was a hit and a hoot and a holler. Sure. And it was so good to finally... Oh, my God. Oh, no.

Oh, my complete... I forgot that I had activated that again. It's Adele. Oh, no. Congratulations on hitting 90 episodes the same week that I released my new album. What are the odds, babes? What are the odds, Adele?

She says very slim. Bit like her. She's not wrong. She is. I know. Yeah, a bit like her. She'd know all about being very slim. She would.

You fucking copied me. What was she talking about? How do you figure that, bitch? I Instagram-lived first. I think you'll find we Instagram-lived well before her. She can say the F word, so that's fine. Yeah. Anyway, Instagram Live.

See you Sunday night, everyone. We hope this podcast made you feel at least 3% better today. That's all. Thank you for listening. We love you all. Solid rock. There we go. There we are.

See you, bro. Yeah, catch up. I can't. Hold on. Do the 3%. Sorry. I tried to do that solid rock, but maybe you should. It was the wrong solid rock.. Do the 3%. Sorry. I tried to do that solid rock, but maybe you should, Pamela.

It was the wrong solid rock. It was the wrong solid rock. Is that going to be our closing music this week or what? Is that what you want to do? That's our new closing song. We'll just play it. I hope this episode made you feel 30%. I already said that. 90%.

Because today, 90th episode. Congratulations for 90%. I don't know if we can do that. Listen, it was fun. Now we'll try. Mitchell, have a great hangover afternoon. Thank you. Jenna, great to see you.

Look forward to hearing ideas for your fill-in show. Definitely. Thanks for being here for 90 episodes, guys. We love you. Love you idiots. See you next week. Bye. See you guys.

Leave us a review. Good night. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Out here nothing changes Not in a hurry anyway You can feel the endless earth