Is It Just Me? - #99: Rhys Nicholson Ruins Our Day

Episode Date: March 7, 2022

Rhys Nicholson (stand-up comedy icon & judge on RuPaul's Drag Race) joins us this week!Also in this episode: ‘Big and tall’ stores (05:27)The TV’s at the gym (08:29)White goods chat (11:00)Rhys Nicholson (16:07)Top 5 TV Filth (46:33)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (1:02:11)Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Would you like to try a vape? Why would you take up something that is going to be addictive and expensive? I think for people. I'll tell you why. Yeah. Because you're young and stupid. Some things make more sense than others.

You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy, and I just don't know how you figure that's going to happen when you're ordering a chocolate mousse. No. You know, I had it in the car on the way home, and I didn't have a spoon. So I was like an armadillo trying to get ants out of a hole. Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood.

Being fingered is an awful sensation. You haven't been fingered by the right person. Goodness me. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of bitches. Hi, it's Jenna. Please don't forget to include my name in the opener this season. I'm sorry.

Ta-da! Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coon. I will build a shrine. It's 99. We're getting so close to the 100, aren't we? It literally hit me when I saw the Christian Hull picture go up on Instagram. Christian Hull's co-hosting episode 98. I'm like, fuck, are we at 98?

Yeah. It means that it'll be the 100th actual idjim that we've done. Like, oh, my 100th, is it just me? I've had 100 talking points and none of them are overly insightful. Oh, no, definitely not. None of them. And how many lives have we changed? Zero.

I wonder if there's one idjim that has changed someone's life dramatically. Well, I'll give you the tip. The idjim I've got up my sleeve today. The is it just me, if you're new here. Not going to change anyone's life dramatically. Well, I'll give you the tip. The itch I've got up my sleeve today, the itch with me, if you're new here, not going to change anyone's life. Really? But anyway, for 99, what have we got on today? Oh, my God, Rhys Nicholson is here.

Well, he will be. Yeah, very soon. He's coming on in a little bit. You know Rhys from RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under. He's very funny. He's a judge. Yep. He's been a comedian for ages before that.

I wonder how he feels about that being his draw card now. What, that he's been a comedian for ages? And. I wonder how he feels about that being his draw card now. What, that he's been a comedian for ages? And everyone introduces him as from RuPaul's Drag Race. Oh, yeah, he's like, Nana, I've been here for ages, making lols. He negates everything he's done before that. I actually have a story to tell him. I saw him back in the day when I was in and out of LA.

I saw him in Los Angeles, and I didn't say hi because I was very nervous. It's not a great story. It's not a great story. You can keep that to yourself. No, but he might go, I saw you too, and I was a nervous. It's not a great story. It's not a great story. You can keep that to yourself. No, but he might go, I saw you two and I was a big fan of your podcast. You don't know. We haven't actually. Normally when we do these interviews for the podcast,

we pre-record it and we play it out to you, but we literally haven't done it yet. So he's coming on in like not very long. So we're going to have to time this quite well. We're literally going to do it as we're recording now. Yeah, shit. So you better jump into the show. Yeah, Rhys is coming on the show.

Also, I'm doing another Idgum Top 5 based on live TV filth. Did you see what happened to Angela Bishop recently on Studio 10? Oh, I think that was posted in the secret Facebook group. Yeah, no, people in our Facebook group knew that that was up our alley. So, yeah, I'm going to be doing

a lot more times things like that have happened when they swear on TV and don't realise that they're not meant to. Is it all Australian or international? All Aussie. All Aussie. There's some classics. Aussie TV's so loose. I know. Anyway, welcome to Is It Just Me? Grounds Keeper, Prize Keeper Jenna is here. Hello. Hello. I can't get that right after

99 episodes. We haven't even had prizes to give away recently, so really she's redundant. I'm not. Maybe it's time for a role appraisal. What does it happen to you when you're in employment? What do you call it? A check-in with your boss? Restructure.

Yeah, maybe it's time for an internal restructure. I'm still pushing for beekeeper Jenna. We just put a bunch of posters out on the street sign, sticky tape it there saying, oh, if you've got beehives in your house, call this number. She'll come sort it. You take the little number, you tape it there saying, oh, if you've got beehives in your house, call this number. She'll come sort it. You take the little number, you rip it off. I like it.

Yeah, I always do that when I see one on the street. Just so if the person comes back to check on how it's doing, they think, oh, well, there's one person that's interested. But it always just goes in my pocket and I end up washing it and I get stupid bits of piece of paper in my pocket. Well, those things actually work. I made one of those for my sister when she first moved out of home as like a music teacher.

Piano, clarinet and saxophone lessons. Call this number. Oh, she was booked out all year. Are you kidding? It worked? I never kid. Yeah, it worked. Because of my beautiful graphic design, obviously. Oh, that's really... You know what we could do? Contraceptive diaphragm Samsy. Hi, Sam. Oh, hello. We could get... I don't know how this works, but I'm going

to you because you're obviously the genius of the team. We could get little QR codes with like scan to listen for IJM for this show. And then we could do need a laugh and then just put little tickets with QR codes on the bottom. I kind of like it. Is a QR code easy enough to make? Oh yeah. Yeah.

It's super easy. Why don't we make, I'll put 10 up in my area. You put 10 up in yours. You put 10 up in yours. Okay. I reckon we do it. This has turned into a you gotta hustle. Yeah.

It's random ways of plugging the show. Well, it's pre-episode 100, so I'm yours. I reckon we do it. This has turned into a You Gotta Hustle. It's random ways of plugging the show. Well, it's pre-episode 100 so I'm feeling inspired. Let's do it. I'm excited. Can you help us make the QR code, Sam? Okay, I'm going to go on a little mission. I'm going to make the QR codes and I'll be back with you shortly. Jenna, where are you that has a lot of demographic for our listeners? The flower markets?

No! Nursing homes? No! Dog parks? No! Cemeteries. No. Morgues. Possibly. The Bunnings shovel section. There is nothing wrong with that. The acid shelf at Officeworks.

Don't mention that. Where do you go that you could hang them up? Just around work. You know what? This redundancy is starting to sound more valid, isn't it? No, I tend to agree. I will put them around Zumba and all of that. Oh, okay, Zumba.

Yeah, Zumba work. Anyway, yes, if it is your first time listening, this is Is It Just Me? Every week we start the show the same way with two idjams, two Is It Just Mes, something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate from the week. Mitch doesn't know mine, I don't know Mitch's. Mine, I might jump in and go first because it happened to be on the weekend and I thought I'm rearing and ready to go. Sure, off you go.

Hit me. Is it just me or? Do you only ever see the big boys in the big and tall stores? Big and tall stores. What's that? This isn't something you'd have to worry about in life, I'm sure. But when you're a big boy and you're plus size and you may be more than an XL or a double XL, you go to the big and tall stores. Is it a section within a store, like the big and tall section, or are they their own stores?

Oh, no. They used to be a section in like Kmart or Target, and it used to be Kmart or Lowe's, which is really degrading for an 18-year-old or younger boy to have to go to Lowe's, right? But now they've got their own standalone stores. You've got the Johnny Big Man's. Right, okay. Which is great, which is sort of in the title, Johnny Big Man's. But they're all, the category of store is big and tall.

Right, and so what's your interest? Well, you just never see tall people there. Oh, right. Oh, I see. Did you think what I was thinking, Jenna, where he said, do you only see big and tall people in big and tall stores? And I'm like, yeah. Don't you hate it when all you see is pregnant women in labour wards?

No. I said, do you only ever see the see is pregnant women in labour wards? No. I said, do you only ever see the big boys in the big and tall stores? Right. Because you go in and it's just the embarrassed big boys in the big, it's never tall people. It does make sense. Yeah. And you go there and it's like, I think, I think you sort of, you know, you're hiding the truth here.

I feel like normal shirts are for tall people because every shirt I buy is too fucking long. No, I'm 6'3", and I sometimes struggle with a mid... It sometimes pops up. So I like the tall. Oh. Sam, you might... Oh, Sam's blocked by a chair. Yes? You would have got... You might need a tall shirt, right? Yeah, no, I do, but I'm extra small in the shoulders.

Yeah. But it never fits me in the waist. Oh, yeah, you're wrong. In the length? In the length, yeah. Actually, yeah, you're right. In the length? In the length, yeah. Actually, yeah, he would. Now I get it. Well, why aren't you ever going to these big and tall stores? That's his concern.

He only ever sees fellow fatties at these shops. You know what I mean? That's the thing. Well, no, I can't go to big and tall because I'm not big. But that's the point. It's big and tall. Yeah, but it's not both. You have to be both. It's not one or the other. No, it's not. It It's big and tall. Yeah, but it's not. It's both. You have to be both.

It's not one or the other. No, it's not. It's not big or tall. It's big and tall. Yes, exactly. No, it's not. I would argue that I am the definition of big and tall. Well, that's why you only see people like you there.

There we go. Problem solved. We figured it out. I just want to walk in and see a boy the same shape and size as Sam going, oh, I found my home, you know. It's always the fat boys. That's my point. I think you were right when you said it's big and tall,

not big and or tall. Yes. So, yeah, that's why you only see people like. It's not. You never see a tall, skinny boy there. I'm telling you now, it's for big people and for tall people because they have smalls but not really long. Listen, you come here and you bitch about never seeing people

that aren't fat there and then we give you an explanation and you won't accept it. And also on their website. What do you want? On their website, do they have big boys modelling it or tall? And tall boys. But how do you know that they're tall? You can tell because they put a pineapple next to one for scale.

Are we done with this? Can we get into mine? Is it just me? We're done. Yeah, let's go. Let's jump in. Yeah, go for it. Is it just me or?

Why the fuck does the gym play pop music then overlay it with TV footage of people climbing rocks and shit? They don't match. I'll be at the gym and they'll be playing Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry and then you'll see someone doing flips on a Red Bull bike and shit and I'm like, total vibe mismatch. Absolutely. It's like that overlay that they put on the treadmill. Have you ever been on one of those fancy treadmills?

I'm asking the wrong person. Jenna, have you ever been on one of those fancy treadmills where it animates where you're walking? You're like, I'm going to choose meadow. It's like that sort of shit. It's that vibe at the gym. There's always videos of people doing extreme sports and it's so off-putting. They'd be more smart and they'd be intelligent to put a McDonald's sign on the screen and

you were slowly getting closer to this digitized McDonald's. I'd sprint if that were the case. I don't know if they're trying to inspire us by putting that shit at the gym where it's people doing extreme sports and whatever, and they're always walking on the cliff edge and stuff like that. And I'm like, is this supposed to be fitspo? I'd rather just see the music video for Big Girls Don't Cry. You know what?

This brings us to a good point. That is so straight. That is such a heterosexual thing to put the Red Bull stunt plane show over Shakira. No gay man would ever think, you know what this needs? This needs a BMX derby. Well, that's the thing because you can choose your own music at my particular gym. They've got an iPad and it's always gay music, but that straight shit playing on the TV, they never match.

It's weird. Oh my God, we need to invent a gay, exclusively gay gym. And it's discrimination. You can't come in if you're straight. And you can play the music, but gay porn plays on loop on the LCDs. I feel like it's entirely possible that if I went to a gay-only gym, I'd hate everyone there. Like, it would just be too much because they're a bit too gym-obsessed

for me, the gays, a lot of them. Also, the 4G would crash because everyone would be on Grindr in the same spot. Oh, my God. Imagine that. It'd be like I've never been to the Plus Fitness in Darlinghurst, which is a very high populated gay area in Sydney. It is. Imagine. Imagine how many people would be on Grindr if I went there.

Oh, God. You wouldn't be able to get out of the parking lot without being fucked. Yeah, we could put money on the fact that I could just go there and get a fuck if I wanted to. I wouldn't go through with it, but I'd just like tee it up and be like, yep, see? Absolutely. We've got our plan for episode 100.

Oh, no, no, absolutely not. See you next week. If Mitch is limping, we know it works. We know it. Happy Mardi Gras. That's enough of these two. Now let's hear, and is it just you? let's hear an Is It Just You? Yes, this is Is It Just Me?

And every week we bring you an Is It Just You? Which is something you've noticed, something you hate or appreciate. You can send it to us on a couple of inches on Instagram. And I really thought that when we put the call out there saying, you're welcome to phone in, like Lisa did a few weeks ago, that people would be like, yeah, I'll come on and chat. Nah, we're just getting voice messages mostly. But hey, that's fine too.

Is it just me or are you disappointed? Yeah. Someone posted a meme in the Facebook group being like, oh, podcast host, I feel like we're all best friends. I reckon we'd be friends without listeners. Oh, totally. I've met some. We've met half of them, yeah.

They're fabulous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Except those that distance themselves. All right, let's jump into this item from Katie. Katie sent this one on Facebook Messenger. Go, Katie. What have you got? Is it just me or are white goods like washing machines and dishwashers

and fridges stupidly expensive for what they are? No, Katie, you're on your own, I think. Do you know what? Here's an if it's just me on the fly. I think. Do you know what? He's either just me on the fly. I didn't actually ever know what white goods meant. So white goods are like appliances, like your washing machine and your fridge and all that. Is that right?

White goods are like technology, right? Oh. So like good guys sort of thing. Appliances, yes, yes, yes, yeah. And so she's saying they're too expensive. Yes. Well, it depends which one you get. Well, that's exactly right.

And they're doing a very – you have a white good for 10 plus years. You're not just replacing a white good in two or three years. You keep this thing for, you move with it, you take it with you. They are expensive, but I am, if it's something like that, I'm prepared to get a deer one so that it lasts. Deer! Rather than getting some cheap piece of shit because, like, then it'll be riddled with issues, which

has happened before. Mine was pretty cheap, right? My microwave and all that, I got them so cheap because I didn't want to spend anything and they haven't had any problems whatsoever. I disagree, Jenna. Even the cheap ones, they're so different. Especially, you know what's the worst thing? You know what's fucking criminal?

Kmart toasters. Absolutely. Are they trash? I agree. An abomination against God. They are so fucked. Like, the toast is so uneven. The crust is basically burnt. Like, the smoke alarm goes off, but the centre of the bread, not even warm, still frozen. Yeah, and they always seem to favour design

over functionality. Like, my mum's like, oh, I got you and Hayden a new toaster for the house! And it's got Perspex glass so you can watch it cook. It's like a rustic, beige, antique oh, I got you and Hayden a new toaster for the house. And it's got Perspex glass so you can watch it cook. Yeah, yeah. It's like a rustic beige antique looking thing, but it doesn't cook your toast. It's made out of pure porcelain.

I don't want that. I really don't want that. I love my toaster. I have a Smeg toaster. What do you have? Oh, I was there when it got delivered. Yeah, I got it from Harris Scarf. Can't remember what the brand is. Russell and Hobbs or something.

Is that right? Russell Hobbs, yeah. Russell Hobbs. Russell and Hobbs. Russell and Hobbs or something? Is that right? Russell Hobbs, yeah. Russell Hobbs. Russell and Hobbs. Russell and Hobbs. You know what came out? How they have the cheap ones and they have a version higher. Oh, they've got Anko, but then they also sell some sunbeam stuff. Yeah, like they've got the $5 one

and then they've got the $15 one. How good can a $5 anything be? When you're plugging it into power, I'll happily pay over $100 to not kill my family. If you can't tell, we're killing time because Rhys isn't quite ready to go on Zoom. That's why we're really stretching this Is It Just You out. This is why we normally- We've still got a little bit of a wait before Rhys Nicholson comes on, so-

We can- It's much easier just to- Pre-record them. Pre-record them, isn't it? But oh, well, here we are. We're here now. And I'm probably going to be hung over after Mardi Gras. I'm not editing shit.

I'm just leaving it all in. I also thought we were I'm probably going to be hungover after Mardi Gras. I'm not editing shit. You're just leaving it all in. I also thought we were going to pretend that this was airing after Mardi Gras. So I came in like, welcome to the show, because I thought we were going to pretend we were drunk. Oh, because the episode comes out after Mardi Gras. No, we never fib to our listeners, do we? Oh, no, not us. God, no.

Or not me. Yeah, I'll do anything for a paycheck. I've got more to add about white goods. Do lamps count? No. Oh, no. Or not me. Yeah, I'll do anything for a paycheck. I've got more to add about white goods. Do lamps count? No. Oh, okay. Well, maybe I won't tell this story. Tell it.

Tell it. I'll Google. I'll define white good while you do that. It's a really good story. Yes. Yeah. My touch lamp malfunctioned. You know the ones that your touch activate?

Yeah, my nanny loves them. I am nowhere near the fucking thing, and it kept turning on and off all night. That's scary. And, like, with the three variations of brightness, like, it would just always go. And so I had to get rid of it, and I bought a new lamp that isn't touching. Fuck, it's an adjustment. I don't like change. Wow.

I reach over in the morning first thing when I wake up, and I'm, like, bashing this lamp, being like, why isn't it turning on? Oh, there's a switch. First world problem. It is a first world problem. Yeah. I wonder if there's a ghost. Yeah, that could be a ghoul.

I reckon. What is considered a white good says Salem.com. Apparently witches love to cook white good. White goods consist of items such as dishwashers, dryers, furnace, hot water heater, stove, trash compactor, and a washing machine. Oh, Rhys has requested to join the room. Oh. Oh, fuck me. We're busy, Rhys.

We're talking about white cooks. Come back another time. Not now. Alright, let's get him on. This guy is very excited to have Rhys on. Host of RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under Season 1. Not the host. Famously, RuPaul is the host of RuPaul's Drag Race. Yeah, you're right. He's the judge on RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under.

Let me just get him on. Hold on. There's an opener if you like. Just hit that to kill time. Oh, okay. Yeah, sure. Here we go. The lovely and laughable Reece Nicholson. Let's see if he's there.

Oh, there's that doorbell. That sounds promising, doesn't it? Ding dong. It's Reece. Oh, here he is. Hello. Hi. Oh, thank God.

You've got a fancy microphone. I hate it when people sound shit on Zoom. This has been the thing about this whole pandemic, and this is all I've taken from it, is that how many people do not know in this business how to use a computer or just have things like for people that work in media, there's some real morons around. Mike Etiquette. Hi. I'm so happy to be here.

Rhys, this is so exciting. Welcome to the show. How are you? Thanks for being here. I'm good. How are you guys? It's a pleasure. I'm still in my own home, so I couldn't give a shit. Where are you guys? Where are you? We're in the studio. We're in iHeartRadio HQ. I saw that you were in New Zealand, though. I mean, were you filming the new season of Drag Race down under? Is that wrapped? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We filmed it in New Zealand. No one knows why, but we do it. No one, I think just it was floated early on and just no one questioned it. No, yeah, I was just in New Zealand doing that. And yeah, now I'm back. I had a great time. How was it? Was it like really, really fun this time?

Yeah. Well, you say that like the first time, wasn't it? No, well, I kind of like it was very fun, but I also wasn't dead behind the eyes, terrified about the fact that I was sitting next to RuPaul and Michelle Bash. Oh, yeah. I was actually saying just before, I was like, I wonder how Rhys feels about that being his identifier now. Like, oh, Rhys from Drag Race.

Even though you were working your guts off for years in stand-up comedy, that's kind of become, oh, he's from Drag Race. Oh, look, if some of those Drag Race people buy tickets to my shows, I don't care how they pay me. I don't care. You don't even have to turn up. But I think generally as well, I don't mind it. I could be known for worse shows.

Well, that's true, yeah. I think I like – this year I think was different as well because I feel like the girls as well, without giving anything away, but the contestants as well didn't have to feel like they were on the first season of Drag Race Down Under. So there was like a little bit of, I think they were a little bit kind of freer as well. It's a very, very fun season. I'm quite looking forward to seeing it. Oh, we're looking forward.

We were at the premiere when it happened. It was kind of in that weird pocket where COVID was around, but then it stopped. And then we were all sort of free and we had the premiere. It was great. And all the queens came COVID was around, but then it stopped. And then we were all sort of free and we had the premiere. It was great. And all the queens came. And the excitement for the season was crazy. So, yeah, I'm really pumped for the new season. And I sent that creepy video from Canada that looked as if I'd been kidnapped.

Oh, that's right. You couldn't be there. That's right. I interviewed Michelle Visage like last week for my radio show. And she is. Isn't she a delight? Oh, my God. Because I was like you.

I mean, not to the same extent. You sitting next to her on the show and she is oh my god because i was like you i mean i'm not to the same extent you sitting next to her on the show and hosting with her but interviewing her i was uh i was intimidated because the the amount of weight that she has in a young gay man's mind like i watch i watch every season of drag race i think she's hilarious and so talented and i think because i've seen her in a judging position that i was kind of expecting to be judged. It felt, it was a weird dynamic. I don't know if you felt the same meeting her. Oh, absolutely. Like, and I, you know, same with both of them.

You kind of go in thinking and you kind of have in the back of your head, you're a little bit prepared that, oh, these people could be monsters. Yes. Like, but just because I don't think, I think it's really tough to be that famous and that wealthy for that long and not become a bit of a monster. And both of them are just the loveliest, most real, like I've, I've never met a more interested person than Rue. Like as in, like, he just wants to know everything about like how your day was and he wants to know about your family, like dossier about us all. But Michelle is like, Michelle's like my buddy now. Like, I feel like this second year as well, kind of like,

we have lunches together and we go for walks. And so, like, she's just, she's also the most, probably the most professional person I've ever fucking met. Like, she just, like, and you would have seen it in the interview as well. She's just a media trained, incredibly funny, like, just, I don't know. She don't know i've been impressed with her before and she knows what she's doing in an interview and she knows to give you what you need and she knows how to tease people and how to push the line yeah i don't know i just really love it yeah i don't know if you know this mitch but she was in a girl group when she was like 16 then she did

her and rude yes seduction her and rude did a radio show in new york city a live really yeah a radio show and then York City, a live radio show. And she used to do like a morning zoo show for years and years. She has been working in the industry for so long. So those two go way back. And then, Reith, did you feel like a bit of a third wheel coming into that equation? Yeah, best friends. 100%.

And they, I think, almost made an effort to make sure that I didn't feel that way. Like last year when we were in quarantine, we were both in quarantine at separate hotels and she called me and sent her number and she was putting on makeup. So, the first time I met her, it was on a Zoom screen while she was putting on her makeup. But, no, they just make really, like, although a stressful thing happened this time where Michelle

and I both love seafood. I don't know if this is a boring story. We both love seafood and we're in Auckland always looking for like a place that we could go and eat some seafood. Yeah. And I was like, oh, I think I found a place. And she was like, oh, great. Maybe I'll invite a couple of the producers. And then when I turned up there, the entire like World of Wonder crew and Roo. Oh, my God.

And like Raven and all these people like sitting at the table. And I was like, oh, hi. And Rook arrived, sat down and went, so why did we come here? And Michelle went, oh, Rhys picked it. And I was like, shut up. I can see the person that picked this. And it was all fine, but I don't know. Was the food shit?

Because nothing worse. Like you said, when you recommend something that it's terrible and it's all your fault. It was good, but it was that thing that anytime someone said, oh's not how i expected it or anytime like a drink was a bit like yeah yeah and also like i don't know this isn't like it's very la as well none of the none of the american people really kind of drink and i'm not making a statement about that it's like they're all very healthy very good people yeah and i'm different to them and so i'd always just have to be like down the end of the

table like can i get four more white wine thank you very much just leave the bottom it's seafood you need a charades you need something to wash it all down absolutely well they don't yeah um but no it is it is a little kind of family and it is like a weird sometimes i just have i'll be sitting on the panel and i'm sure the queens must have this on a minute by minute basis. But you're sitting there going like, what a weird job this is. Yeah, it is weird. You know, look at these, look at all these people dressed up as women and I'm going to tell them whether they're good at that or not. And that will depend on whether they lip sync and then they might go home.

Like that's it. What a wild job. Yeah. Do you feel like, I feel like when people get jobs as judges, they kind they kind of make jokes like oh i'm getting paid to be judgmental this is fantastic but do you sometimes feel like oh god i don't want to be mean like i would actually hate being a judge totally well i'm definitely the paula abdul of the group i'd imagine i put myself as the kind of like yeah i think i'm the in that i don't know where I am a lot of time and I think I probably have a history with pills. But the allegedly, allegedly.

But no, I mean, I kind of, because I'm really passionate about drag, but I don't do drag. Yeah. Like, and so I would never, I'm never going to tell one of those girls, like, that eye isn't right and you should cinch more or something. I'm like, I think of myself as like a conduit for the audience and I'm there to be like, you know, there are times this season where i felt like i was in an actual drag show like a little like there was some kind of rough rough drag but like it felt like you know i'm at the peel or i might like you know i'm at arc at 11 o'clock at night and i'm waiting for

the second show like you know like yeah is there a smoker's room? Is there a back alley I can just have a cigarette with one of these drunkards? Did you have many fond memories of Trash Alley at Ark as well? Because that place is near and dear to my heart. Now it's closed. I know. And you know what? I probably have some memories, but I do not have access to them anymore. Yeah, right.

Yeah. They're foggy as fuck memories. That's how I knew I was there. Right. Well, that's exciting. We're looking forward to Drag Race Down Under Season 2. That'll be fun. And congratulations because that is such a good game.

You're right. It's that role that you're feeling. It's like the Carson Kresley, the Ross Matthews. It's like you're just there to entertain and you are so funny. I can only imagine that when the girls come out on the runway and you hit them with puns and you make jokes, are they actually right there in the moment or do you dub them in puns and you make jokes. And do you, do they, are they actually like right there in the moment or do you like dub them in?

No, no, no. It's all there. And that was quite a shock to me last year. I thought there would be a lot more production involved. I thought there might be some writers. No, none of that. And that's the wild thing as well. And I feel like I'm just sucking up to my bosses now.

But like Rue and Michelle leave me in the dust with that shit. Really? Because like the system, and I feel like I can probably say this, the system is the girls do one walk around and then we watch that to music. And I guess we try and think of little things and literally straight away, like once the last girl walks off the runway, the first one walks on again and they do that to silence. And that's when we do our puns. And kind of the last third of an episode is pretty

much in real time wow there's a bit of standing around but it's all boom boom boom there's not like we don't go back to our dressing rooms constantly we don't like it's all happens the girls are told they're in the bottom and then they lip sync once you're on the desk you're stuck there for a bit you're staying yeah how much of what you say actually makes the final cut because i reckon if i was on a show like that i'd be watching it back going oh they bloody edited out that funny thing i said oh see luckily for me very little of what i said ends up like as in there are so many things that you just blurt out that you're like oh oh yeah that's not and also just bad part like just silly i mean but the ones that did the one that sticks out to me from,

so on my first episode last year, I was so nervous. And like, there was just no, not prep, but like, you're just kind of thrown in. Yeah, you would be. Yeah. Yeah. And there's a line that I just blurted out that was like, well, I do like balls slapping on my ass.

I remember. Yeah. That one definitely made the cut. Made the promo. And it's like, I don't balls slapping on my arse. I remember that. Yeah, that one definitely made the cut. Yeah, made the promo. And it's like, I don't even remember saying that. And like, but it was there. It was there. I think it's just so like, you just say what you're thinking

and then they just cut around. I don't know. I feel like that was a really boring answer. But it is, I'm glad that they don't put in a lot of the stuff. Well, you're in the, what is it called? The Rue Cinematic Universe. The RuPaul child. Yeah. The RC, you know, I'm just calling it that now a lot of the stuff. Well, you're in the, what is it called? The Roo, the Roo Cinematic Universe. The Roo Paul Charles. Yeah.

Is that what they call it? The RCU. No, I'm just calling it that now. You're the RCU. Can't wait for the Roo spin-off. Yeah. If ever like VH1 makes some like poorly produced documentary in like 20 years about Roo, I can be like one of the most available people to do a talking head.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, well, he hasn't spoken to me in 10 years, but. But let me tell you a story about a fish and chip restaurant. You've told us many times. All right, you can go and see Rhys, guys, very soon. He's heading back on tour, which is exciting. Rhys, Rhys. Actually, I feel like I want to say it like I would say it.

I'd say like a 1920s, like a newspaper boy. Like, Rhys, Rhys, Rhys. Very dramatic. Is that how I should say it? Well, these are very, I mean, it's such a gay reference. And I kind of, it's a Judy Garland reference. So there's a Judy Garland album called Judy, Judy, Judy, live and in person.

And the poster is like an exact copy of it. And it's one of those things that sometimes as gay people, we just chuck something out there. Yes. And you hope that people get it. If we don't reference, we lose it. You've got to reference it. Was it your partner that came up with that name?

Because I remember you've said before that he kind of does a lot of the directing, if you like. You just kind of talk shit and then he formulates it. Yeah, kind of. Yeah, no, I definitely thought of Reese, Reese, Reese, and then I had to explain it to him. You're the genius. Yeah, take that.

The problems of dating a bisexual. Sometimes you have to talk to the straight side. He kind of does. I write everything and I perform everything. He kind of helps me, like we're in the process of it now. He helps me put it in an order, like as in, because I can write jokes till the cows come home, but I can't. You know when you go to a show and it's got a through line? I can't do that.

I don't have a brain for that, so he helps me with that. I feel like I'm being very inside the actor's studio and not funny. No, I was going to say, I feel like I'm learning so much. My right notes, guys. Come and get me a Kilometrico. I'm going to write all this down. This is great. But that's fine.

That's what he's there for. Sometimes I see a partner duo and I go, I don't know how they work together because I could never work creatively with my partner. We'd just tear the house down. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't think. We haven't done it yet.

Maybe we should try. Did that come early in the relationship, Rhys, tear the house down. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't think. We haven't done it yet. Maybe, I don't know, maybe we should try. Did that come early in the relationship, Rhys? The working together? Didn't we all? Yeah, kind of early on. Like, I think, also, I was a really bad comedian. Like, he's put up with a lot. I was still an open mic-er when we still got together.

And that is, if anybody's out there dating an open mic-er, you deserve a medal. They are some of the worst people you're ever going to meet in your entire life. And it's probably going to be your shout. Yeah. Yeah. It's oh, 100%.

Yeah. He has supported me both mentally and financially many times over the years. But, and then I think at a certain point he was just like, look, I think it'd be better if you did it this way. And,

and that, and you know, that came up in many aspects of our life. But the um i just keep making things about sex um yeah i think it's nice to have it's not for it's definitely not for everyone i think it's almost like a long-term relationship where working with your partner it definitely is like stressful like you can because quite often you're having a fight if you're having a fight about something it is not about what you're having a fight about yeah yeah

and being working on a show. But then I always, see, I can always win because I get to go out and talk about him. He does not have that access to an audience that I do. So I can wander out and just be like, well, my boyfriend's an idiot because he thinks I should do it this way. But you know what? Then I do it his way and it always works. Mitch has just started doing, Mitch just did a whole bunch of shows,

his very first stand-up shows, and he did amazing. He absolutely nailed it. Tell me about it. How did it go? It actually went really well because it was the first time I'd done it. And I had only done a handful of open mics, so I didn't really feel like I'd earned my stripes. But it still went well and I actually loved it because I thought I could

easily fucking hate this. Don't like public speaking. But, yeah, they went really well. Wow. So you don't like public speaking. You're going a very interesting way of being on both radio slash podcast slash. No, no. Are you really?

I'm fully across the irony, but here we are. I just, it's more private here, you know. There's no one there. But when people are actually there, Sammy, I don't need to explain it to you. You probably don't even get nervous anymore, right? I don't know. I, see, I find what you guys do more terrifying like the idea of just talking really and it just being out there and not having any idea how people are feeling about it

is terrifying like i'm working on a book at the moment and it's mortifying to me really because i'm just i'll release it and then you can't edit it it'll just be out there and i can't change it yeah i think that's what i like about stand-up i I can always be like, oh, that didn't work. I'll fix it tomorrow. That didn't work. I'll fix it tomorrow. Right, or you're in control of the final product before it even goes out anywhere. And you can tweak as well after you do it.

True. That's a really good point. I think you'd be great. Would you ever do a podcast? Have you ever been approached or? I do. Like, I don't do the, I've got a couple little, like, silly, I'm within podcasts. Like, I do a podcast with my partner and our friend

georgia where we just watch uh marvel movies and talk about them and it's very ill-informed and it's called oh my god marvelous great but uh i listen to a lot of podcasts i feel like there's just enough at the moment there's enough yeah yeah look i know as a white male, I do get one for free. Yes. But I just, let's let some other ones happen for a little while. Yeah, that seems fair. Mitch has got three. How many do you have at the moment? I've got fucking so many.

He comes to me every day. He's like, I want to get lunch. I've got my podcast recording. Oh, this one. He goes, no, a new one. He just launches new podcasts every single day. Piece of shit. You can't talk.

You're on radio every night. Yeah, but radio. Yeah, true, true. Do you know what? Actually, you guys kind of have a similar origin story, Mitch and Rhys, because you now work at the radio station on air, but you started as a street teamer. Yeah, I did.

And didn't you start working in the box office, Rhys? Is that right? Yes, I did. Look at you doing your research. I'm the chyron here. I prepare shit. Yeah, he researches. I do nothing.

I just do the credit lines reese reese reese grab tickets century presents uh that's my job i used to work at the enmore theater in the box office for years and then it got to the point where people would come in to buy tickets to my show no and that got to be embarrassing so i quit my job there but it is tell you what if you've ever worked in ticketing, there's no quicker way to find out that most people in the world are idiots than working in ticketing. The amount of calls that we would get every day,

just the most dumb questions of people. Like, you know on a ticket it just says, like, plus BF, which is booking fee. People would call in, I reckon, twice a week and ask if that meant breakfast was included, if it was a daytime show. Oh, my God. Or if they could bring their boyfriend or if they could bring their best friend.

It takes a certain type of person to really hone in on the fine print of a ticket. Like, I'm just like, what door am I at as I arrive? I don't read the fucking BF. People are so dumb. People are so dumb. And, like, and I hated that joke. Like, I did it for a long i thought i was a people person it turns out i am not definitely not was it full circle though race like

for your first performance where there's still staff there that were like working your show as ushers or something yeah yeah gary gary the sound the the lighting guy was was still there and so it was it was this kind of weird he like gave me a hug. It was this weird like, yeah, come through moment. And yeah, and I'm getting married there next year. At the Anwar Theatre? Yes. We're selling tickets. No, we're not.

How the hell does that work out? Where's the aisle? Is someone walking down the aisle? Tell us the production. What's happening? Well, this is a confusing thing. I don't know what, I mean, we've had gay marriage for a while now, but no one has explained to me what the system

is. Yeah. Like, who is it a tops and bottoms thing? Yeah. Is it a verse? Like, who walks down the aisle? If you're at the Enmore Theatre, you can do whatever you damn please. You could enter on, like, a trapeze. Yeah, and they've got holes in the stage for that shit, so they can just pop you out if you really

want. Put the rings on a conveyor belt, like, go full floor. I could come down sitting on a big crescent moon oh that'd be so canned i do like that get a full orchestra like send in the clowns or something in the pit that'd be great speaking of moon actually very quickly i think i interviewed you on the first season of drag race reason i don't know if i brought this up he can't recall i was there no he's like no i've met you before um i was there when you did your set at Conan and it was just so cool to have an Aussie there and it was just like I just loved it. And, like, the connection you had with Conan, he clearly adores you

and you look just like him and all that bit. But, like, seeing an Aussie there and you killed it, you were so good, was – Wait, were you at the Sydney show or at the L.A. show? L.A. show. I was at the taping of Conan. Whoa. Yes, yes. How weird. I was at the taping of Conan. Whoa. Yes.

How weird. I know. Kind of serendipitous. You know what I did not know? And this is, again, maybe a boring thing to say, is that no one told me that when I would start my set on the show that Conan would be sitting about two metres away. At the desk. And just sitting on a seat.

Like just looking. So like he'd say like, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Rhys Nichols. And then he just sat down on a chair and just looked at me and all you can see on the clip is like me just occasionally looking off camera and being like is he gonna move all right he had some audible laughs though you were great you killed it yeah do you know what one of the i'm not just saying this to like suck ass but i one of the best comedy things i've ever been to was that night that you and joel creasy did a few years ago it was around marty graham games

night i was trying to remember the name of it it was around marty graham and it was yeah those two joel and reese and they brought out different people like lucy jurak and george love a bunch of different people gina liano was gina li. And it was just the most chaotic thing ever. And it was so funny. So we had not planned that. So, like, we had booked a spot. And because this is the thing about both Joel and I as well. We're, like, best friends and we both love doing things together

and, like, having, like, big ideas. But then also both of us are not good at following through with those ideas. We're really good if we're produced. Yes. But we decided to produce it ourselves and we booked a show at the Seymour Centre. It sold out. And then we had to go be like, oh, we've got to like do this.

Produce it. And so within like two days, we like booked, he booked all the guests and I like, and it was like a games night. But then we were like, and at the start, we'll just do 20 minutes of stand up together. And we just, but yeah, it was like a games night. But then we were like, and at the start we'll just do 20 minutes of stand-up together. And we just, but yeah, it was like pure chaos. And I could tell that it was like more improv. And that's what I adored about it. Because like nothing fell flat.

It was just hit after hit. It was amazing. And the best part, Mitch, I don't even know if I've told you this story. But without any pre-promotion or heads up, they were just like, anyway, here's Conchita Verse from Eurovision. What? Comes out and sings that Rise Like a Phoenix song, is it? And then I was like, what the hell is this show?

It was amazing. Do you want me to break your heart? That was our friend Max pretending to be Conchita Verse. Oh! Hang on. Our third wheel, Jenna, is here. Did you know that? What?

Are you joking? Because they were there together. No, no. Sorry, Jenna, step into the frame. Is that why you haven't been talking this whole time? Because Jenna is here as well. She's the Reese, we're the Michelle and Rue. That was

going to be my question. I was going to say, how the hell did you lock in Conchita? It looked just like Conchita's. And Reese, Mitch has told me this story before and has just gone on about how good Conchita was. I did think Conchita would let herself go a bit, but I was fine. So it's our friend Max, who is a radio producer. Max Costofferson?

What? Costofferson? Yes. Oh, we know Max. I know him and I didn't know. That was Max. I know him and I had no idea that was him. I can see it now.

In drag, he would skew. He would look just like a bit of a let go Conchita. We worried. So we thought it was so obviously not him, right, backstage, that we didn't, like, correct it. And you're not alone. Everyone in that audience thought that that was Conchita and we didn't know what to do so we just didn't correct it.

You just left it. All I did, the only thing I thought was, okay, clearly the hair and makeup budget at the Seymour Centre isn't the same as Eurovision, but I still believe that it was Conchita Verse. And out of a long list. Everyone, I've told everyone. Same, out of a long list of things, I have never felt dumber.

That's so funny. What a legacy you've left on this show, Rhys. You go on Drag Race, you're hilarious. Then you ruin Mitch's dreams. As soon as we're done here, I'm going to be messaging Max Oh, funny. What a legacy you've left on this show, Rhys. You go on Drag Race, you're hilarious. I feel like I should have told you. Then you ruin Mitch's dreams. As soon as we're done here, I'm going to be messaging Max and being like, you fucking piece of shit. Can I book you in my shows? How confused will you be if he denies it?

Yeah, I feel like you've all made a pact. What if this is the prank? What if this is the lie? Being gaslit into a fake concerto, that's hilarious. I'm too tired for this, honestly. All right, guys, you can go and see. Reese, Reese, Reese. It is coming to, I mean, it's going to be Gold Coast, Canberra, Melbourne, Perth, Sydney,

Brisbane, starting on the 20th of March. We can't wait to see you. And Sydney's at the Enmore again. Of course. Yes, at your wedding venue. And good luck with the wedding. When's that? When's that happening?

We haven't booked it properly. Like, we cancelled it twice at that point. It's like, let's, I don't know if you guys, there's been a bit of a flu going around oh no um haven't heard of it no yeah oh you guys should look at the news there's there's a few other things going on too yeah um but no so yeah we're waiting um we're waiting until everything's like fine fine and we can have friends come in from overseas and love it we'll have fun reese nicholson.com if you want tickets i'll have to ask our important question before we go. Of course.

Yeah, go for it. Every time we have a guest on the podcast, we like to ask them a little thing in life that they appreciate. Just like the fresh sheets in the bed or the crunch of a good apple. A little thing like that because we just want to remind our young listeners that there's more to life than partying and boys, which is why we call it our list of things better than drugs and dick. Yes. So if you can think of anything that you believe is better than drugs and dick,

please let us know now. Imagine if I was like cash. It is pretty good. The gratification of others. Angela Bishop from Studio 10, what did she say? She said her waterbed, which was, yeah, I guess. I know. I saw that clip.

I did a bit of research on my own. By the way, I'm obsessed with that. Like, she was talking about how it heats up and cools down. Imagine having a bed that you can cool down. I know. I know. That was nearly the selling point for me because I'm always just a little bit overheated. Yeah.

I'm one of those people that, but I still need the doona on me and I need, like, one leg out. I'm like one of those people that um but i still need the doona on me and i need like one leg out yeah yeah psychos yeah um i in a similar vein i was thinking oh i have a weighted blanket that i really like that's like a very feel like a very grown-up thing but that also makes me sound like a psycho i gave mitch a weighted blanket no i do right though yeah you gave it to me because he saw that i was a bit uptight he was unhinged we had a couple of bad shows in a row every so i'm like oh here's a weighted blanket it's good with anxiety and it's your erratic behavior don't google what it helps with yeah all right what's yours it's so good it's so good like i but i think i think the thing i'm gonna pick is and this is really boring um is like skin care and that sounds so dumb but i'm in my 30s and it's something i have really like you know

when i was in my 20s it was all very like like, what's on sale at Chemist Warehouse? Yeah. And now, like, I don't want to get jab jabs just yet. But I think I want to get like, I want to get Dermapen, like microneedling done. Yeah. What's that? Which is this thing that someone told me about where they stab your face a bazillion times and your skin goes into trauma. Yeah. And that produces collagen.

So, anyways. It sounds awful. I mean, I that produces collagen. So anyways. It sounds awful on paper. On paper it sounds awful, but I think it's like it's better than putting poison in your face. And also I think it's just I guess what I'm saying is like self-care, but like something I'm getting more into as I grow up a little bit is like I don't need to be drunk every single night and I can like buy a good moisturizer that isn't going to make me look like a foot. I got carded.

I get adult. I keep getting carded. It's like I'm 31 and I'm buying a bottle of $40 like Shiraz on a Wednesday. I'm depressed and I'm an adult. And so was it age 31 that you decided that that was tragic? Because I've got a few years up my sleeve if that's the case. I'll keep buying Shiraz on Wednesdays. Yeah.

I mean, I guess 31 was, oh, the worst was during one of the first lockdowns, I kept going to the same bottle shop and I had to start shaking it up because I would go in every day and buy the same bottle of wine. And I got to the point where the guy was like, do you want me to buy you a case, man? I was like, I need to leave. Yeah. No, I had the same scenario.

I kept going back to the one bottle. And every time they would, I'd leave. And eventually they'd say, see you soon. Every time. Oh, no. I was like, oh, well. But yeah, I know what you mean about the skincare thing. Because I used to be really slack with it.

I'd be like, whatever, just some moisturizer, whatever. But now, I swear to God, it's a 20-minute regime these days. I've got different serums and cleansers and under-eye shit. And, yeah. Dr. Dennis Gross. Oh, it's this whole thing. I love it. That's not even me saying that for sponsor reasons.

Wow. I bought one of those light masks. I'll send you that audio. You can send it to the doctor. Yeah. Yeah. You can make sure you do. He's got a really weird face, and that's how you know he's a good dermatologist.

Oh, you're so right. And it's real shiny and, and like slick. Is it slick? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You could lay on that. Like Angela Bishop sleeps on his floor. Good sign. Alright, Rhys. Thank you for coming on. We love you. Good to chat to you and we'll catch up soon. Thanks. Sorry if I was boring.

Oh, sure. No, not at all. You're amazing. We love you. I've got to say though, some people might be confused listening to this because everyone thinks I sound like Rhys. I just sound like I'm talking to myself. They all say that, Rhys, because you've got the gay lisp down pat. Yeah, and I've just started doing Invisalign, and it's given me a new lisp. I took it out for this interview, but I have a double lisp now.

Does that actually happen? Because I'm doing Invisalign as well soon. Does it give me more of a lisp? No, so it goes, I'm only two weeks in, and it trickles away. Okay, good to know. But, so it goes, I'm only two weeks in, and it, like, trickles away. Okay, okay, good to know. But the first two days, yeah, yeah, there's words that are a real struggle for you. Like, Invisalign was a big one that was hard to say. But also, how unfair the fact that Reece Nicholson is so s-y for someone with a lisp.

Oh, it's not good. And when I was growing up, my favourite band was the Scissor Sisters. Oh, no. When they came to Newcastle, they were supported by sneaky sound systems. None of that up. That's probably what developed it. I feel your pain. All right.

Bye, Raze. Thank you so much. See you. Thank you. Bye. He was great. Gee, Jenna, you were quiet. Oh, my God.

What? That was not Conchita? Oh, yeah. Like I said, I did think that Conchita looked terrible that day, but, like, I fully believed. I remember you told me either after it happened or I've heard the story before. Oh, we didn't know each other,

but I would have told you in the same way. Oh, my God, it was amazing. My next question was going to be, Rhys, how did you get Conchita over from wherever the fuck? Oh, no. Swaziland? I don't know where Conchita's from. The Nordics.

But yeah, that's actually ruined my day. And we know Max too. You actually know that person that was dressed up. Yeah. I was supporting him through his quitting vapes journey recently. I'm going to tell him to go fuck himself now. I can't speak. I can't believe that.

Who else was there that night? We need to ask every single one of our friends, did you realise that wasn't Conchita Burst? Can you play the song? We need to give context to those who don't know who Conchita is. It's called Rise. Is it Rise Like a Phoenix? Yes.

Yeah, so the Eurovision winner. It was the bearded lady. Everyone would remember that. Yeah, long hair. You would have known me at all today I really thought I saw some Cheetahverse life. Me too. At the Seymour Centre. It sounds ridiculous now.

I know. So he would have lip-sunk it, right? He would have been lip-syncing. I suppose. He wouldn't have been doing it. That would have ruined the guys, I'm sure. But it didn't sound like the studio recording. No, it sounded... Maybe he got a live recording and lip-sunk

to that. Although by the sounds of Reese, it wasn't very well planned. So maybe he did sing. Alright, we get it. She's gorgeous. Oh, my God. Well, thanks, Reese, for... I'm not in the mood for a top five now. That's ruined my day.

I've never seen you this shocked and flabbergasted. I just feel the fool. I've told everyone I've seen her live. That was Mitchell. Fuck it. What they don't know would hurt them. That's right. Still.

But also, how many people is that making jealous? Get you out of here. All right. Okay. We'll do it. We'll do the top five. Let's get into it. Let's go.

Edgem top five. Now, did you see what happened to our old mate, Angela Bishop, on Studio 10 not long ago, a couple of weeks ago? I did see that. I wanted to text her and go, you did so well, Ange. Yeah. It was a bit of a nightmare interview. So she was talking to Nell Campbell.

Who? Yeah, she was in Rocky Horror Picture Show back in the day. And I feel like she's a bit of a loon in all honesty because she was being a bit snarky to Ange, I thought. I thought the same thing. Maybe that was just her sense of humour. But to me, I was like, don't you come for Miss Angela Bishop, our queen? Yep.

She's been to uni. She's been on this podcast, even better. She's been, yeah. But it was when Nell had a go at the shoes Angela Bishop was wearing that she accidentally let an F-bomb slip, which is a big no-no on live TV, isn't it? Yes, and Studio 10, obviously famed morning show in Australia, is live to air.

There's not a second of delay. So in radio, I'm in eight seconds delay. Other shows do longer. But if someone were to swear, I can press a button that will cut that so no one hears it. But TV, you don't have that luxury. Exactly, which is why shit like this happens. It's very chaotic.

Here it is. Now listen. Why the hell you're wearing those shoes? I don't know. Ladies, I would like to make an announcement to all women in all countries in the world. Stop it. You don't need to wear follow me home and fuck

me shoes, okay? We are live on air. We're going to have to, we can't even bleep. We're going to have to stop it there. Studio 10 will be right back. We're going to have to kill you. Angela did so well. She did so well. I kind of got the vibe that Ange might have been dying

to wrap that interview up anyway. So she just took that excuse and goes, thank God, we can just cut her off. We'll have the production booth going, just run a vintage song. Cut her off. That was from Rocky Horror Picture Show. I get it.

It was relevant to Nell. She sounded like a Harry Potter, one of those teachers that does dark arts or something. Yes, and you want to pull the pedigree out of the soil. Those shoes. Yes. And like I said, she wasn't being overly nice to Anne. She kept making jokes like, oh, precious, who did your research? Do your research.

And I'm like, you shut your fucking mouth, Nell. No, you just know. Don't speak to Angela Bishop like that. I mean, let's just say that the three of us aren't exactly bursting at the same to talk about Nell's career. So I think this might have been her first moment in the spotlight for quite a while. Yeah, possibly. You know, you either read the room, you do it right or you do it wrong.

I think she did it wrong. I feel that she might have just forgotten the rules because it's been that long since she's had a gig. Back in her days. And like what she said, she caught, we can say it on this show, but fuck me shoes, a woman can wear whatever the hell she wants without inviting sex. No matter how you word it, your point is really fucked, Nell.

Exactly. But anyway, I wanted to do a top five about this. So this is the top five TV filth. Yes! Just whenever a little swear word slips through the cracks. I love this shit. Can I just say quickly, I was on Instagram Live the other day, because I looked Instagram Live, my radio show sometimes,

and I was live on the air doing a quiz and someone said fuck. They won the quiz and they said, oh, this is the fucking best. And I freaked out, so I dumped on the radio, but everyone on the live saw it. So it was kind of like a nice little window in. It was quite cute. You were like, I'm so sorry to offend you all, all the mums that don't like that language on my Instagram.

Sorry, mummies. Mums and bubs watching at home. Anyway, all right, let's jump in. What's this, number four? Yeah, I actually feel like that Angela Bishop one deserved to be number one. But anyway, number four, counting down, is this happened on the project. Carrie Bickmore was talking about airline prices. This is what happened.

You're watching The Project. The airline price wars are heating up again and we're being told fair discounting is as aggressive as it's ever been. Virgin's targeting key corporate routes, hoping to win over Qantas customers. And while it means cheaper travel for us, it's likely to be bad news for the airlines. That web address you'll need is youtube.com.

That's like the worst word you could accidentally say. That's really bad. Oh, Carrie. And Qantas, it's a Q. I mean, it's close. The fact that she got away with saying Qantas because it had the S on the end, it's the S that saved her. Otherwise she'd be in big shit if she just said the C-bomb on TV.

I feel like I've done that before on live radio. Like, sometimes it slips out. The best thing to do, I think, is acknowledge it. Because if you just let it slide, it just lingers and it's so awkward. It's cringe. Like, if you were having a conversation with a friend and you did it, you'd acknowledge it. So, acknowledge it.

Like, it's not the end of the world. No. In fact, put me on the radio right now. We're here in the studio. I'll say, fuck. Yeah. Let's broadcast. We're on live.

Imagine if it's the middle of an Adele song and I'm like, can't. I don't know why the C word. I still get weird about saying that one. I've gotten really loosey-goosey. I've noticed. It's bad. I've noticed. It's bad.

And my mum pointed it out the other day. She's like, you're a potty mouth. And I went, I know. I need to pull back. Even on the podcast, I've noticed that you've dropped a few C-bombs and i'm like oh my god like even me the most foul person on planet earth i i try not to use that word i wonder what happens i used to oh i use it in real life make no mistake but not on the podcast you should have heard what he said about you before you sat down no i heard it um no i i remember in primary school i'm like i'm

gonna be one of those people that doesn't even say shit. I remember making that pledge to myself. Same. I also said I wasn't going to drink, so people change. Yeah, they don't, they ever. All right, number three? Number three. This is similar to what happened to you on the radio, actually. It was a while ago on Sunrise, and they were doing their cash cow thing, you know, where

they call people to let them know they've won the money. And the chick got a bit excited. Put it that way. Here's the second one. Counting down. We are ringing Jai Grumley. Hello. Is that Jai?

Jai. Jai. Jai Grumley. This is Melon Koshy from Sunrise. Would you like $10,000 on this Thursday morning? Are you fucking serious? Well, look, we've got the words that we would use, but we are very serious.

We're deadly serious. I think she's been cut off now. And if anyone was wondering whether we're live or not, we're live. All those people who ask, have you got seven-second delay? The answer is no. Oh, my God. Isn't it weird that they don't have that seven-second delay thing, like you said, because you've got the option to just dump

and then everything that happened in the last seven seconds, you'll never know. You know, on Jonesy and Amanda, we don't have dump. So they really, if a caller swears, that's it. It just happens. They just go, oh, oh. Swearing charmants. I can just picture it.

Okay, let's go. What's number two? Getting close to number one. So this is another one on the project. It wasn't Carrie's stuff up this time. It was Dr. Andrew Rochford and he was crossing to Kitty Flanagan. Oh, hilarious. And he's got her name wrong.

Moving on to some worrying news now, and supposedly doctors' waiting rooms may soon be empty with advanced new medical apps being developed to help people diagnose and treat themselves. We're joined now by the oracle on everything, Kitty Flanagan. Now, Kitty, should I be worried about my job? Well, if you keep calling me Kitty, you should. LAUGHTER

I think she handled it so well. That was amazing. Well, if you keep calling me Kitty, you should. That was so quick, too. They're the benefits of live TV. That's when it so well. That was amazing. You keep calling me Kitty, you should. That was so quick too. They're the benefits of live TV. That's when it's funny. True. I also love that Carrie started laughing before Kitty even finished the joke.

Like she just knew it was coming. Everyone in the room was thinking it. Isn't it funny when you have an opportunity to hit back like that and you nail it? Isn't the best feeling in the world? Yeah. Yeah, it is. When you get thrown something and then you- Jenna, you wouldn't understand.

No, I know. Never happened to me. Maybe Zumba when they When you get thrown something and then you- Jenna, you wouldn't understand. No, I know. Never happened to me. Maybe Zumba when they pass you a one kilo weight. You feel, oh, that was good. Yeah, when I get on stage. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. I love to watch. All right. What's number one? We made it to the end. So this is one of my favorites. I'm being a bit biased here. I've rewatched this video a lot of times.

It was a trash alley, Gareth. I bet it is. No, we're allowed to swear there. It's all good. Although it was pretty funny. When we first started the podcast, they told us you're allowed to swear but only in a positive way. So like, oh, my God, that's fucking hilarious.

That's fucking amazing. And now they must have loosened the rules because we don't use swearing in positive ways at all. But at the start we had to try and be mindful. This ham and cheese toastie is cunt. Oh, my God, Mum, that dress looks fucked on you. To grandma. Oh, your dementia's starting to heal, man.

That is so fun. Instead of glowing. Oh my god, you are fucking today. But yeah, no, we've abandoned that rule. I can see why. Anyway, number one, it's not Trash Alley. It's the newsreader Talitha Cummins. She was doing some news report about politics,

talking about Malcolm Turnbull. Oh, the ex-Prime Minister. Yeah, and then there was a bit of a slip of the tongue, but that slip of the tongue created just the most perfect combination of words I've heard. Here it is. So look out for the extent to which Labor comes back at the Medicare privatisation issue, Talitha.

OK, Maria, Malcolm Turnbull is making his pig bitch in his big, his big pitch in Sydney. That's one of the best ever. Malcolm's making his big pitch in Sydney today. Pig bitch. Isn't that not the best insult ever? You little pig bitch. Oh, that is so scathing. That's just the best words ever.

I never would have thought to pair them together if it weren't for Talitha. No, I agree. Pig bitch really rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? And it's kind of got a sexual connotation. Like, he made them his pig bitch. If only we hadn't already nicknamed Sam and Jenna. Actually, no, that's the rebrand. Pig Bitch Jenna.

Pig Bitch Jenna! Episode 100! It's got a ring to it. I must say. And our third wheel pig bitch Jenna is here as always. Hi, Jenna. You know, I don't mind. We should do that.

I feel like that, out of context to new listeners, would sound really fucked. Yeah. Like, we've just got this listeners, would sound really fucked. Yeah. Like, we've just got this woman here and call her a pig bitch. I'm trying to find the pig music. Remember we did pig music? Oh, pig week. I can't have it for pig week. No.

Have we done pig week this year? No. No. Then mark my words. Then get prepared. I had pig month over December, January, so I'm not ready for another pig week. I'm so large at the moment. I want to get a Peloton.

Anyone ever heard of the Pelotons? The really fancy bikes? The bikes. Yeah, that big died on and just like that. You watch it just like that? No, no. But wait, is it an actual bike or like an exercise bike? It's an exercise bike,

but it's got like a gigantic fuck-off screen attached to it. With that bullshit we were talking about before, the animated meadows? No, get this. It's got live a gigantic fuck off screen attached to it. With that bullshit we were talking about before, the animated meadows. No, get this. It's got live classes from Los Angeles. So you get some bitch in Beverly Hills doing a class. She knows that I'm writing because it's all connected on the cloud. And she's like, Mitch in Australia, keep it up, buddy.

Really? You couldn't do that? Yeah, of course. That's cool. And also tethers to your Apple Watch if you've got one, because I'm a bit of an earl like that. And all your friends with an Apple Watch can connect. It goes, Mitch just did 10 Ks on the Peloton.

It's like beat Jenna. She just did five Ks this morning. Oh my God. I hate that. I don't think I'd like that. I think I would. Cause I love, you know,

I love attention. So yeah, but online classes. Oh, they're the worst. I did one not long ago actually, because online gym, no,

like a Pilates class. Oh yeah. Like live or just a video? Yeah, on Zoom. On Zoom. There was another chick on, there was a chick on the other end and i'd done them before and it's like once you join the class you can turn your zoom camera off and just follow along but i turned up this one friday morning and i was the only one there so it was this one-on-one zoom class with this this yoga

bitch and i was like oh it's rude to turn the camera off, isn't it? And she's like, oh, can you turn your camera on so I can critique your positions and stuff? It was the most awkward hour of my life. I was still in my pyjamas because I thought I wasn't going to have the camera on. And it was just the two of you. Yeah. I mean, she's lovely. Don't worry.

What can you do? I feel like we should have wrapped the show quite some time ago. Oh, I love it. This has been a Lucy Newsie show. Maybe we should do our guest live more often because it makes us feel. Well, he's been and gone, so there's no feeling happening. Oh, yeah. Rhys isn't coming back.

Oh, then we better wrap. Let's go. Happy Mardi Gras for all those that celebrate. Happy Mardi Gras weekend if you don't. If you've never been to a Mardi Gras parade, it's so much fun. Oh, from what I've heard, because I've done, oh, Jenna was there too. We did London Pride. Oh, that would be great. Sydney's way more fun. Oh, from what I've heard, because I've done, oh, Jenna was there too. We did London Pride. Oh, that would be great.

Sydney's way more loose for Sydney Mardi Gras compared to London Pride. Really? London Pride is like a matinee. It's like a parade during the day and no one's there wearing nothing but fishnets. Like no one's dressed as slutty. And then you've got all this time to kill before you party that night. And like the London one, there's kids in uniforms, we're all dressed up.

It's just not like Sydney. Where Sydney's like, woo, let's get fucked up. Hayden and I went to New York City Pride the year before COVID and it's like there was a Spice Girl there and then there's kids and there's merch and you buy merch on the... It feels really, really commercial. Which one was that? New York City Pride.

Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. It was nuts. Yeah. Well, once you've been to one, you've been to them all, haven't you? Yeah, I agree. But Mardi Gras is my favourite. There is a grittiness to Sydney's.

It's kind of grungy. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. No, that's the point. That's the vibe that they're going for, I reckon. I agree. Anyway, if you haven't celebrated one, go out and celebrate.

And if you're not quite there yet, don't worry. You'll get there in a couple of years. I wasn't ready for my first Mardi Gras the year I came out. I hated my first Mardi Gras because I was like, oh my God, I don't fit in. Yes, 12 months later, I was like, this is my Mardi Gras. Being held up by a posse of gays. Our leader, our leader. They love him. I won the year. I don't know if I've told this story, but I'll tell it very quickly. I was on the Kiss Flight, which was a giant kiss logo, a kiss for the main media sponsor.

I'd done the live broadcast. Kyle and Jackie O were coming out as the main act. And they were both getting up on the Kiss float, which is a giant pair of headphones that looked really gay, really ridiculous. And they go, Kyle and Jackie O were late. They're stuck in the park high. Traffic's terrible. Jackie's doing a ponytail. So you get on the float and just wave to people. So I'm like, alright. So I get on the float

in the marshalling area before it hits Oxford Street. And then they go, Kyle and Jackie O are in a black van. They're going to pull up and jump onto the float, like Mission Impossible style. So then they do. They pull up next to the float. They jump on. And then because I'm already on, I didn't have time to get off.

So they're like, what the fuck are you doing on our float? I couldn't get off. Yeah, I feel like, didn't that fuck up a lot of the logistics? Because our float ended up having to be to the ones behind us. You go first. You go first. We're not ready yet. i think the sbs like broadcast or abc broadcast they've got a list of what order the floats come in so by us being like you go first it really fucked it they're like and now here's the kyle and jackie o show and it was like the returned war veterans

float or something and we're like oh god we really fucked this whole thing we need need to go. We need to jacking off. We could easily have said that this is our Mardi Gras hangover show. We sound it. We do sound it. It's the middle of the fucking week. It's the rain. Oh, and if you're in Brisbane, too, we had a couple of Brisbane messengers, messengers, we had a couple of messengers in the bottles.

The water took it here. The floods are really bad up there at the moment. So we're thinking of you if you're up there and look after yourself. Stay dry. That's rough. Floods are shocking. Thank you for listening. Don't forget to leave us a review thinking of you if you're up there and look after yourself. Stay dry. That's rough. Floods are shocking. Thank you for listening. Don't forget to leave us a review.

Five stars if you haven't have yet. That keeps us going, keeps us on the cloud. And be thanks to Rhys Nicholson. His show Rhys, Rhys, Rhys is coming. It's in May. Starting in May. Going all around Australia. All right.

We'll see you next week for episode 100. We'll catch you then. Oh, my God. The big one. Double O. Jenna will be rebranded and Mitch will be fucked in the ass. What a show. Bring it on. See you in rebranded and Mitch will be fucked in the arm. What a show. Bring it on.

See you in a week. Which Mitch? Whoa. Take two. Bye, idiots. Love you. Bye. Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to AD Debrief. This is our secret segment on the end. We pretend the show's done and then we keep talking shit. We just let our ADHD brains go wild. Or ADD, I should say. Whatever. Imagine if other shows had ADD briefs.

What would Channel 9's nightly news be if they had ADD briefs? And this could get a bit bad. Just Peter Overton and Georgia Gardner having a cigarette on the couch. Thank you. Thank you and good night. We pretend we're done. Fuck, I hope Russia wins. Like, imagine.

It's just their fully unadulterated views. Well, I nearly put in that top five today, actually. I nearly put in there the thing from Channel 7 that went viral recently, the hot mic moment. Was it Georgie Gardner? No, it was Rebecca Madden. I can't remember who. Someone, yeah, some journalist.

Yeah, they're Melbourne newsreaders, so I don't give a flying fuck, quite frankly. Yes, yes, yes. Actually, we should ask Ben Forner about that if he comes on next week, because he used to do Ninja Warrior with Beck, didn't he? She got let go from that show. I think she got another job offer. Anyway. Yeah, I thought she left.

Sorry. They were bitching about Novak Djokovic, and it got leaked, the off-air audio. Imagine someone leaking our off-air audio. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I just saw the guilt in Sam's eyes. You're fucking done, haven't you? Maybe. Don't pedestrian next week. it got leaked big off-air audio imagine someone leaking our off-air audio oh my god oh my god i just saw the guilt in sam's eyes you're fucking done haven't you maybe it's all pedestrian next week sam's got a hard drive plugged into the computer no i reckon he'd have like a file a folder on his hard drive just full of moments for if the day we ever fuck him off he's like right

this is it i've got folders like that too don't worry do you actually i'm sure you would i could end you bitch like the things i've had to edit out oh i know but you wouldn't because i'm gregorius and sweet while you guys have been fucking around i have actually been designing hard at work so i have three options for you for qr codes come in the studio also have you got joe rogan for us? He really changed Well, we give him many tasks Hold on, jump on the mic there Is it mic three? Oh dear Yeah, there it is

You're on, you're on Okay, so number one Oh, he's got printouts Yeah, so number one Wait, wait, we need You need some music or something No Yes, we do

This is pitch music You're on Shark Tank Alright, thank you for joining me everybody This is elevator and or hold music It's not pitch music It's elevator pitch It's pitch music. You're on Shark Tank. All right. Thank you for joining me, everybody. This is elevator and or hold music. It's not pitch music. It's elevator pitch. It's pitch music. Oh!

Yay! Okay, that's a good call. That's a good call. Okay. Have to call you Kitty Flanagan. So first time, because it's Mardi Gras, everyone's after a bit of fun on Mardi Gras weekend. Yeah. So this one is designed to look like it's on a toilet wall.

Oh my God. Fancy a good time. It's written in pen. Yeah. That's quite a new archive. Oh, my God. Fancy a good time just written in pen. Yeah. Or it could be written in like a mix of blood and cum. It kind of looks like this. It's going for lipstick, but it can be both. Oh, it does look like lipstick.

Yeah, I like it. The next one is something that's just a little bit more bright, a little bit more fun. Wanted to add some accent to it. This one is just want funny. Oh. Sounds like a threat. Want funny. Oh, I like it. Sounds like a threat, want funny. With a nice big laugh.

Yeah, what's in the background? Oh, it's teeth. It's smiling teeth. That's a bit menacing, the teeth. Oh, wow. No, is that in a maybe or? Yep. Want funny?

No, I think maybe. It's definitely behind the cum blood one for me. Okay, all right. So I'll put that in the maybe. There we go. And finally, this one is just a classic want a laugh. Oh, I do like me. Okay, alright. So I'll put that in the maybe box. There we go. And finally, this one is just a classic want to laugh. Oh, I do like that. Nice big yellow. That's fun. I like that.

QR code. That is good. You know those things where you see posters that are on like posts around the city? Yeah. Like the concerts and shit? We can do that. There's a little guy on a bike that goes around. Let's do it. Oh, do we have to get his permission? No, no. You hire him. And they print like, I don't know, a hundred of them. Oh, even better. Let me do it. Oh, do we have to get his permission? No, no, you hire them. Oh. And they print like, I don't know, a hundred of them.

Oh, even better. Let me find out. Yeah, let's do it. It's like Sydney bike messenger poster company and brothers. Actually, no, why are we hiring him? The reason this came up was because we were like, what are we doing with Jenna? She's not doing prize keeping.

Oh, yeah, this is your job, Jenna. Jenna, can we give you a job? You just stand in that big tunnel at Central Station handing out pamphlets and you almost force it into their hand. Even if you don't make eye contact, they're like, here you go. Yeah, we'll get you a T-shirt. It'll be a whole thing. Yeah, okay.

Oh, my God, I actually want to do that. Yeah. Now, let's print it here at iHeartRadio HQ. Yes. And they can pay for the printing. All right, Sam, well done. Round of applause for Sam. Thank you. Well done. Approved. Love it. You can pay for the printing. All right, Sam, well done. Round of applause for Sam. Thank you.

Approved. Love it. You really have succeeded this season. Thank you. Thank you very much. And for that, you can keep your title as contraceptive diaphragm. Sam, going into the 100th episode. Excellent.

I didn't know that was up for contention. No. Well, Aria says Jenna and it got us thinking. Yeah. Pig bitch Jenna. Pig bitch Jenna. Yeah. Do you like that?

I feel like it's a little aggressive. Yeah. First time listener. Yeah, but it's warranted, I? I feel like it's a little aggressive. Yeah. First time listener. Yeah, but it's warranted, I think. No, it has a nice ring to it. I mean, you know. Pig Bitch. It's definitely unique.

That's shocking. Imagine if we had an esteemed guest like Angela Bishop in studio and we went, Angela Bishop is here, Mitch, great to have you here, and of course, Pig Bitch Jenna. I know. I wish that happened. I wish that top five happened before we had Rhys on. I would have been like, oh, Angela Bishop is here, Mitch, great to have you here, and of course, Pig Bitch Jenna. I know. I wish that happened. I wish that top five happened before we had Rhys on. I would have been like, oh, sorry, Rhys,

we've got Pig Bitch Jenna here as well. He wouldn't have blinked. No, he wouldn't have. He'd have been like, oh, my pig bitch has just gone to get coffee. All the successful media gays have one. A pig bitch. I reckon that's what Kerri-Ann calls her team too. Oh, absolutely.

Absolutely. Kerri-Ann doesn't have team too. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Kerri-Ann doesn't have a team. Oh, no. Don't be ridiculous. Team of doctors. Yeah. I still haven't gotten a reply from her, by the way. Oh, shit.

I forgot about that. Let me check. Harry Newton was in the news recently. Yes. What's wrong? Oh, she's not dead. She's on it. Paddy Newton goes to police news recently. Yes. What's wrong? Oh, she's not dead. She's not. Harry Newton goes to police after harassment on Instagram.

She's got a painting of her. Oh, that's what it was, yeah. What, that beat out the Ukraine-Russia conflict? Yeah, I'm so stunned I missed that huge news. Fucking hell. Why was that even publicised? Because it's an Archibald Prize contestant. Yeah, you know, Mitch, you keep up with all the Archibald Prize contestants, don't you?

Oh, every year. Yeah, they used watercolour this year, Granbrick. I love that, you know, you've got seven years. In seven years tonight, Ukraine has started. In World War III, will they survive? And Paddy Newton has a painting. Would it really give an equal billing to that? Yeah.

Oh, my God. That was the headlines. Yeah, because Bert is in the moon, so his face is the moon. Like the bear in the big blue house. Yeah, exactly. Jesus. What the fuck? Exactly.

No, because Batten, I don't know why I'm defending him. Back in the day, his nickname was Moonface because he had a big round moon, so they would always call him Moonface. So I guess that's it. That hasn't been as well at all. Imagine that. Good night, Moonface. I guess that's it. That hasn't worked well at all. Imagine that. Good night, Moonface. Good night, pig bitch.

No, she hasn't replied. You know what we should do, actually? Next week, because for the 100th episode, Ben Fordham's meant to be coming on. Full circle moment, because he was on the very first episode. We should ask him if he has a relationship with A, Carrie Ann, B, Paddy Newton because maybe we can cut to the chase here. Oh, yeah, then we can start fresh with maybe some lower grade celebs.

Yeah, I never thought that they were unattainable, but here we are. Here we are living in a world where Carrie Ann won't reply to the most high-standing podcaster in the country. Actually, new tactic. Instead of voice messaging them, we voice message their management. Who's Kerri-Ann signed with? I thought it was going to be like, hello?

Pineapple management. It'd be something stupid. Pig bitch management. Okay, so Kerri-Ann lives in Double Bay. Of course she does. She's just sold her Woolara mansion for $22 million. Oh! That makes me ill.

I think I can go to her house and put something up. Does it tell you the address of the new joint? I'll find it. All right. Let's go. Thanks, everyone. We'll see you in a week for our 100th. Is it a centenary?

What's 100? Just say bye. No, what's 100? It's the centenary episode. See you in a week for our centenary. Is it not like a diamond j? What's 100? Just say bye. No, what's 100? It's the centenary episode. See you in a week for a centenary. Is it not like a diamond jubilee or something? No, it's the centenary. Centenary.

Yeah, why does the Queen get a diamond jubilee for 85 and we get nothing for 100? Sam, can you make us a little intro that goes at the very start of the podcast? It's like a gravelly radio. And welcome to the centenary celebration of... Because you've got the accent. It'll be perfect. I can absolutely do that. You could do a really killer transatlantic accent.

Yeah, it's very much like old school. Yeah. Yeah. Newsreel. Isn't it bizarre that the world is potentially going into World War III and at the time of the original wars, the radio announcers were like, true grit, real, true men broadcasting into the world.

Just proper... Poland has now been invaded and we are all going to war. The Allied troops have been taken down in the Western Front. Now we've got pig bitches like you on the radio. How the mighty will. Here I am at night giving out free grilled burgers. All right, let's get out of here. Thank you for listening.

Leave us a five-star review. We love you all. Thank you for buying our merch, et cetera, et cetera, and we will see you all next week for episode 100. See you then, guys. It's going to be a big one. See love you all. Thank you for buying our merch, et cetera, et cetera, and we will see you all next week for episode 100. See you then, guys. It's going to be a big one. Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches.

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