Is It Just Me? - GUEST: Our John Laws Interview 📻

Episode Date: December 13, 2021

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This is a very special edition of Talkback Tings. Usually we bring you the bits of gold that we hear on Talkback Radio, just for your enjoyment. But now we've sat down with one of the people who we've spoken about many times behind their back. Yeah. Mr John Laws, the King of Talkback in Australia. You would know him from our podcast OpenAids, this guy.

Ring Pikes Nurseries. What nursery? Pike's. P-Y-K-E-S. P-Y-A. K as in kill. P-Y-E. K!

God, he's good, isn't he? That's classic John Laws. And so we got to sit down with him, and how that came about was, remember we tried to prank call him during one of our Talk Back Ting segments? Yeah, we got Dot, my alter ego, to do it. Yes, you tried to get through as an old lady in disguise, and this is what happened. John Laws, morning show.

Can I get your name? Good morning. Dot? Can you spell that out for me? D-O-T. Dot, and how old Good morning. Dot? Could you spell that out for me? D-O-T. Dot, and how old are you, Dot? I'm 83. Wait a sec, wait a sec.

Hey, Dot, is this Mitch? Oh, God. What do you mean by Mitch? Mitch. I think they're on to us, darling. Oh, no, I don't know. I don't know you, Dot. Put me through to John, please.

I can't put you through to John. He doesn't like you. Hey, darling, if we can't get through as dot, can you tee up an interview with John Laws on our podcast? We'd love to have him. I can give it a red hot shot if you like. Thanks, darling. All right, darling.

No worries. See you guys. You don't ask, you don't get. That's exactly right. And any normal person would just let that slide. But because I am Mitchell Coombs, the pesky bitch, I held the producer to that and originally all i wanted was a surprise phone call for you on your birthday but apparently what i'm told is john listened to our podcast

i suspect someone would have played it to him because hello yeah he's not gonna be able to put on a podcast no and he heard that pike's nursery grab that we play in the opener and apparently we passed the vibe check just because of that. He just heard that we were using his old audio and just went, That's so funny. Yep, bring them in. I don't want to talk to them on the phone. Bring them in. So we had to wait until after lockdown and so it finally happened.

Oh, I just want to preface this by saying I hate awkwardness and I normally have full control in an interview because I do interviews for my job. So I just go in there. I know what I'm doing. But being on the other side, having John Laws sitting there staring at you with very, very measured breaths and eye blinks like he's in full manual mode. It was really intimidating. It was.

Meanwhile, I love awkwardness. However, I hate shit audio quality, which is why I was so caught off guard when we visited the King of Talkback and they said to us, we've only got one guest, Mark. You'll just have to share it. You'll have to both lean into the mic. No. Yeah. So that's why we sound all echoey and shit. I feel that that might actually be a tactic from John.

He just wants everyone to sound a little bit more inferior to him. Mitch and I were sharing a microphone like this. Look, it was fun. But it was still an absolute honour. Make no mistake. We end up going through his back catalogues of music. Yeah, he pulled out his CD. His song.

He has bloody music. Did you guys know that? John Laws, yeah. Did he legitimately have a stack of CDs? Yeah. With all his music. Apparently he has many albums, like more than 10. I think we said at some point, oh, can we grab one to play in the podcast?

And they were, no, you can't take these. These are the only copies. You'll hear it in the interview. I had to get his assistant, who is called the Mother Superior, she had to bloody burn the CD and send it to me later. He didn't play it to us. I will say that Jenna and Sam, much to my stress, Mitch did ask the question that we ask every guest.

No. How old is John Laws? 86. Mitch will ask an 86-year-old to add to our list of things better than drugs and dick. I did. No. Why would I break the rules for him? I ask every guest.

I also offered him a vape. Like, I wasn't there to fuck around. Yeah, Mitch offered him a vape. John and I were just vibing. Mitch tried to kill John Laws. Mitch went, you want lychee ice, Jay? Yeah, like, you know how I felt like a fly on the wall during that Ty Verdes interview because he couldn't stand me?

Opposite. John and I were vibing. Mitch thought that he hated him. Mitch vibes with white misogynistic men and I vibe with young, talentless, ghastly men. Ghastly men. We also spoke about that award he won recently. You know, what was it again?

Oh, the Kennedy Award Lifetime Achievement, yeah. It was quite sad. He gave a speech about how he lost his wife Caroline on stage. Yeah. And a good friend, a good media friend that was in the industry for years. Look, it was a really long chat. It was an enjoyable chat. Towards the end, like maybe the last three minutes is when he was trying to make it awkward on

purpose and I loved it. Because I love that shit, but you were just like panicking. Oh, I hated it. I didn't know what was going on on there was sometimes when I thought I'd really offended him but Mitch assured me that that's his sarcasm and his sense of humor which for anyone else any sprightly 30 year old there'd be a beat and they'd go nah just pulling your leg but there were many beats you clearly aren't as much of a diehard Lawsonator as I am Lawsonator yeah no I'm not. We've got t-shirts. I'm more of a Johnson. That's Alan Jones team. Right.

Anyway, without further ado, here it is. Our sit down with John Laws. Hello world. I'm John Laws. John Laws. John Laws. Yeah. How are you? Welcome to the show.

I beg your pardon? Welcome to the show. It's great to have you here. It's my show. Is it our show? You're on our show. We're on yours. I mean, you're welcome to put this to me.

No, no, no. That's one of the rules. This always remains the John Laws Show. Okay. You're a visitor and you're very welcome. Thank you. But it's the John Laws Show. If you're a visitor and you're very welcome. Thank you. But it's the John Law Show. If you could keep that in mind, I'd be extremely grateful.

Got it, on it. Well, we're actually here in the fortress. So this is your territory. What was your useless piece of information for today? How the hell could I remember? It was three hours ago. Oh, really? You just scrunch it up, get rid of it?

Well, you've got to listen if you want to hear the useless information. Yeah, that's good. Hook us in. Now, what are you charming people doing here in my studio? Well, we're big fans, John. We've been in the industry for six years, five years. So a little dot compared to yours. Yeah.

We're diehard fans. We work inside KISS. So alongside Kyle Sanderlands, who, you know, really takes a lot of his inspiration from you. Oh, he does, doesn't he? He's taken everything from me. Everything, the mic, the headphones. The gold microphone, the headphones, the Rolls-Royce car, the lot, the lot.

He hasn't got a single genuine original thought in his rather lovely head. Are you a fan of Kyle? Have you heard the show? I like him. I like Kyle. Don't underestimate Kyle. He's pretty bright. He's good at what he does. They've been chatting a lot on Kyle and Jackie O Show recently

about the fact that a lot of people suspect that Kyle could be secretly gay. What do you mean secretly? They were telling him that you do come across that way. At a glance, some people might suspect that you're gay. What do you think of that? I don't think so. And it wouldn't matter if he was. 100% it wouldn't. I like Kyle. I get on very well with Kyle. He and I are friends.

Yeah? Yeah. You know, you've got to be careful. That probably was a sweeping statement. But, yes, we're kind of friends. Am I having lunch with Kyle or something, sir? We'd better organise that. I like having lunch with him.

I find him amusing and I find him also a very genuine bloke. I think if you were in trouble, you could turn to Kyle and he'd do his best. It mightn't be very good, but he'd do his best. I think so too, yeah. Have you had a long lunch with Kyle recently? I had a few. How long are the long lunches, by the way? Nine or ten hours.

God. Jeez. That's a lie. Probably 13. Do you drink at these long lunches, by the way? Nine or ten hours. God. Jeez. That's a lie. Probably 13. Do you drink at these long lunches? Are you drinking these days? Am I what? Drinking.

Like you have a wine or? Jesus. Is the Pope praying? Of course I'm drinking. Do you know one thing that Kyle claims as his big claim to fame is that his first radio gig was panelling your show in Townsville or something. That's also my claim.

2PK in Parks. When I was doing work experience, I had to make sure the ads for John Laws were playing in time, all of that. So that was my first. At 2PK with Betty Muzichuk. Who? Don't you remember Betty? The Spicer family owned 2PK.

Oh, okay. Don't you remember, Betty? The Spicer family owned 2PK. Oh, okay. And the daughter or stepdaughter or daughter-in-law or somebody, her name was Betty Muzichuk. Really? And she ran the station when I was there.

I was only there one night. I hated it. You worked at 2PK? Yeah, I did, one night. For one night. What happened? They wouldn't let me smoke. In the studio?

Yeah. How long ago was that? 1954, probably. Okay. Do you still smoke or have you quit? Oh, no, I quit ages ago. Oh, okay. Would you like to try a vape?

That's bloody stupid. Mitch is hooked on the vapes. No, I'm quitting. Is it difficult to quit? Why would you take up something that is difficult to quit? Well, I think for people... I'll tell you why. Yeah. Because you're young and stupid. No, I can't argue with that, actually. That's completely fair. But yeah, I always tell people don't start them because they're way easier to get hooked on than cigarettes. There's no, ugh, this tastes gross to overcome. They're just pleasant from the get-go. So don't go there is always my advice.

Yeah, well, you're giving very good advice. Yeah, do as I say, not as I do. You're maturing at an early age. You're giving very good advice. Don't do it if it's going to be addictive and expensive. Good advice. That includes marriage unless you're very careful. John, I was listening to your speech on the way here

and I saw it live at the Kennedy Awards the other night, the Lifetime Achievement Award, which congratulations, by the way. That was very exciting. Thank you. I've just loved my life. I haven't had the best year this year, so I've not been a particularly good one. I've lost my dear friend Brian Hiddleston,

but I've also lost my adorable Caroline, who I've been in love since I was 15 years old. You said that you didn't intend to get into broadcasting. So I guess I want to know, how did you fall into it? Well, I was a jackaroo in Wellington in central New South Wales and I loved being a jackaroo. I would love to be a jackaroo again, but I can't afford it. But I used to go to the Legacy Ball and the Bachelor's Ball and the Spinster's Ball and they used to get me to do a commentary,

you know, to introduce people as they came in the door. And there was a man there from AWA, which at that time was a huge conglomerate of radio stations all over Australia, And he heard me and he asked me did I want to get into radio and I wasn't sure but the man I was working for, a wonderful Welshman by the name of Llewellyn Powell, he thought it would be a pretty good idea if I were to do that, get me off his property and get me somewhere else. So I just fell into it that way and loved it.

Fell in love with it, clearly. Yeah. How long have you been doing it now? Because I thought I could Google how many years. 68 years. 68. Far out. I think it's 68.

68, yeah. Are you taking notes there? No, I'm just crossing it. There you go. It just shows you how involved. That's the Mother Superior. I'm doing a very important interview with two very important young men and she's doing a bloody crossword.

Jesus. It's so nice to put a face to the name, the Mother Superior. I hear her referred to all the time on the show. Well, are you impressed? I am, absolutely. She's pretty much what I envisioned, actually, yeah. Is she really? Yeah.

Well, she gave us a talking to before we came in. She said, you're up to no good, you're going to be good. And we said, yeah, we'll be right. We're on our best behaviour. Yeah, well, that's the way to be. Yeah, that's right. All right, so what else do you want to talk about? Well, I should have given you a heads up before we started

that on the podcast, I don't know if you're much of a swearer, but you're allowed to swear here. Do you swear much? Don't be fucking stupid. But that word has become almost acceptable now, except around here she hates it. The Mother Superior hates it. Doesn't like me swearing at all.

Would the Mother Superior appreciate being described as a boss bitch? Because that's what I would think the Mother Superior is. A what? A boss bitch. What's that mean? It's a wonderful term, don't worry. Powerful woman. Yeah. But is the word bitch there? It's a term of endearment. It's all

about context, you know. Taking it back and empowering. No, don't use that word. My apologies. I take it back, Mother Superior. Yeah, take it back. Now, 68 years, you said. What's your advice for someone like Mitch to last that long in radio? It's been seven so far. My advice to Mitch, give it away.

Really? Yeah. Get out. Get a job as a salesman at Bunnings. Yeah. No, no. I'll give you very good advice. Enjoy it.

If you enjoy it, do it. If you don't enjoy it, don't do it. And be natural. Don't bullshit. No change of voice. No change of attitude. Just. And be natural. Don't bullshit. No change of voice. No change of attitude. Just got to be you. Authentic.

Yeah. Well, I don't know how authentic you are, but just be yourself, in other words. Now, what happened in the middle? Because you left for a bit. You had a big retirement. You were out, and then you came back. Yeah.

You missed it too much. I did miss it. I missed it greatly, and i got very bored with my own company even though up until that time i'd been pretty good with my own company i love reading i love sitting by myself i love thinking but i did get bored i did get bored and i thought you know it would be fun to go and do it again and it's more fun the second time around than it was the first time really yeah fell back in love with it? Yeah.

Oh, no, better now. Yeah. We like to play on our podcast some bits of gold that happen on Talkback Radio because we figure that our younger listeners might not be listening as often as we are, so we're like, if anything good happens, we'll tell you. And you've come up many times, including the infamous Pike's Nursery incident. That caller.

It's a favourite. I really want to hear from your point of view. What were you thinking? What were you feeling when that caller just could not understand what you were saying? Well, I thought this is going to go on forever. But then I thought this could be very good radio. So I decided to stay with it. I thought this could be very good radio.

So I decided to stay with it. And she started to understand the humour of it as we got towards the end of the conversation. You reckon that she was in on it too after a while? No, no, not in on it. But I think she started to understand the humour of it. She wasn't going along with it deliberately. She was laughing at herself. It was a good call. It was a fun call.

Yeah, definitely. And it lives on in our podcast as well. At the a good call. It was a fun call. Yeah, definitely. And it lives on in our podcast as well. At the start of every show, we play the audio. That's how we start our show every week. You didn't even ask. It's on YouTube. Did you know that? I don't go to that thing.

I can't work computers. Oh, well, you're paddling your show right now, aren't you? You've got some sort of understanding. Oh, no, that's just a board that's got stuff on it, like Tom T. Hall, a bit of music here. There you are. That's how simple it is. Well, who says you can't work at a computer?

There you go. Yeah. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. I don't suppose you're ever going to get to that stage where, like a lot of other radio studios, like at Kiss, you'll have cameras in the room filming everything. No, never.

You don't want stuff on Facebook or all that? Of course I don't. Of course I don't. Fair. I do a radio program and I'm a radio broadcaster and that is the limit of my talent. Yeah. Who else do you listen to, John?

Do you have any other shows that you listen to or do you just? Do you know what I listen to? No, what is it? As soon as I leave here, yeah, at midday or whenever I leave here, ABC Classic. Really? I love classical music and they play a lot of light classical music. They play a lot of ballet music and I love ballet music.

I love the ballet. So there you are. That surprised you, hasn't it? Have you ever podcasted? Do you know how to listen to podcasts? Are you into them? No, I don't know how to do that. You'd make a killing.

Don't you think a podcast by John Laws would be huge? Does he know that his show is podcasted every day? You actually can listen to it as a podcast. Oh, so you technically have a podcast. You've got one. Yeah, I don't know what it is even. You know how Netflix is TV shows on demand, podcasts are radio shows on demand.

That's pretty much the basic way of explaining it. And that's what we are. Like you can't tune in at a certain time to us. We're just there whenever you like. Not live. No, well, it can't be live. No. No.

Are you bored now? No, not at all. I've done the slightest. I don't want to bore you. No, we're not bored. No, not at all. I'm loving this. You know another old job that John used to have, Mitch?

Am I right in saying you used to be what we call a rouseabout in a shearing shed? That's exactly what I was. What's a rouse about in a shearing shed? You pick up the dregs and the shed off the tails of the lambs. Oh, the dags. Yeah. And you also, if you're lucky, you get to use the wool press a bit. And pressing the wool lets tough work, but it's great fun. How long did you do that job for? 18 months. I wouldn't last a day. I was a farm boy, raised on a farm. Mum and Dad used to always try and get me to help out with that stuff,

but I was like, not for me. I was a bit too precious for that. Would that surprise you? I can tell you're a bit precious. I've detected that. But I was smart enough to realise if I do that job really badly, they'll stop asking for help. So I just kept stuffing up.

It was fantastic. Yeah, but if you did it well, they'd keep asking you to do it and they would have. But it would have been very good for you. All that wool press stuff was good. All that wool shed stuff was good. And the blokes, the shearers and the mates you'd make and the shearers cook.

They could cook. They'd say, oh, they could cook. They used to cook great stuff, shepherd's pie, cottage pie. Like they would bring food to serve because I ended up, when I was no good at the rouse about duties, I ended up serving morning tea. Like I was the one giving the food. So they would bring food. No, no, they'd cook it there.

But, yes, they'd bring the food with them. Oh, they were good too, the shearing cooks. Yeah, great. Yeah, you had a way better shearing shed experience than me. It was hell on earth for me. Could you tell Mitch is a country boy by looking at him? Born and raised, where is it, Parks? Yeah, two people outside of Parks.

Yeah, well, depends which part of the country, yeah. Have you heard of Bougain Gate? It's just near Parks. That's where I'm from. You're from where? Bougain Gate. I've heard of Bougain Gate. I've been to Bougain Gate, haven't I? from. You're from where? Bougain Gate. I've heard of Bougain. I've been to Bougain Gate, haven't I?

Have you? You've been to Bougain Gate? Is there a station in Bougain Gate, Mitch, a radio station? Well, Parks is our local. No, no, no, no. But when I went around Australia, I wasn't doing radio. I was just going around Australia. Yeah, blink and you'll miss it.

That's what. It's a very good idea. You know, people, I remember my sister, as soon as she turned 15 or something, all she talked about was going to England. She just wanted, everybody wanted to go to England. Nobody bothered to have a look at Australia, greatest country in the world. I've always thought that, like everyone's excited now that, you know, international flights are a thing again after lockdown, but I would rather just travel Australia, like Uluru and stuff like that. It's a good thing to do. It's a great country.

Do you have a favourite city or are you a Sydney boy? You've always been a Sydney boy. I'd like to go. If you settle into a place long enough, it becomes your favourite. Oh, yeah. Did you ever live overseas? Never lived overseas, no. I believe you were working in the US, though, weren't you,

when JFK was assassinated. You reported on that, am I right? Yes, that is quite right. Bear in mind, this is a long, long time ago. This is a sad day in the history of the United States. The President of the United States of America, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, has been assassinated, killed by a rifle bullet. I'm in Hollywood in California, and in a matter of hours, I've seen probably one of the most colorful cities in the world

become a city in mass mourning. And this is just one city of an entire nation in mourning. Grown men and women are crying openly, almost proudly, in the streets of Hollywood. All the entertainment has ceased in Hollywood, the hub of the world's entertainment. Shops and offices and factories closed within a matter of minutes

of the announcement of the president's death. That's all I have for you now. So from the midst of this national tragedy that has left America lifeless and in sorrow, I return you to your studios in Australia. Yeah. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I've got to say that was a good report I did.

Good ad lib, eh? Yeah. I went there to open the coaxial cable that came from the United States to Canada, actually, to Australia. The Queen opened it, and I was the support act after the Queen. Right. Yeah. How about that? Tough act to follow. Yeah.

Have you ever in your career had a co-host or has it always been the John Laws show? The John Laws show. Co-host not for you? You wouldn't think that would work? Listen, if you're getting any ideas, forget it. No. God, no. He's got his resume in the bag. It's always been just me. For a while I did Half an Hour with

I can't even remember her name now wonderful woman broadcaster. Jeez, I can't remember her name. John Pierce used to work with her and anyway I can't think of it and it doesn't matter because she's thoroughly dead. But for a while I did that and I loved it.

Have they ever paired you up with anyone? Because in radio, especially commercial radio, they love to throw a co-host. Just experiment, yeah. Have I ever what? They had a co-host thrown at you, or do they ever try to squeeze someone in and say, John, we think you'd be good with this person?

Yeah, they probably have, but I would have told them to piss off. Yeah, get out. We get all the reality stars in commercial radio. They'll say to me, oh, this person won Love Island Australia. They won Big Brother. Get them on the show. Yeah, get out. We get all the reality stars in commercial radio. They'll say to me, oh, this person won Love Island Australia. They won Big Brother. Get them on the show. Yeah, what for? That's exactly what I say and they don't last.

No. Do you watch any of those free-to-air shows these days, Married at First Sight, Love Island, those sorts of shows? You're kidding. Yeah, neither. Not for me. That's not for us. What about music?

Are there any new artists that are out at the moment that you actually enjoy? I just love all music. Fair enough. As I said, I listen to it as soon as I finish here. I turn the radio on in the car to ABC Classic. I love classical music. I love Bruce Springsteen at the moment. I'm playing a lot of his stuff.

I love my friend Roger Miller. I love Christofferson. I love music. I love music. Tom T. I love Christofferson. I love music. I love music. Tom T. Hall. All those storytellers are great. Have you ever been a singer yourself? Yes, I've released 17 albums.

Really? Yeah, where have you been? I don't suppose that you would be able to answer this question, but I do wonder if they're on Spotify. Like I'd love to be able to stream them, these old albums. Back catalogue. What? Where would someone have to go to listen

to these albums? Oh, I don't know, here. Oh, there we go. Oh, we've been handed them. Look at this, a couple of CDs. Oh my God. Look at you here with a denim jacket on. This is The Mind and the Music. Yeah, it was called The Mind and the Music because it was an album of poetry

and I wrote all the music and I wrote all the words. So it was called The Mind and the Music. Look at this, all the women in the shorts. You've never been trucked like this before. That's good, I like that. Yeah, I knew you'd like that, you filthy bastard. And I loved singing. I loved singing.

We had a lot of releases and did pretty well. Now put them down for a bit. Can we keep these? Are these for us or are these? No, I can't. Oh, all right. That's all right. Well, you'll have to get them on Spotify

because there's a whole generation that have missed out on the musical talents of John Laws. Get it on what? Streaming. Spotify. An iPhone. Get it on your phone. I don't want it.

I got it there. Yeah, true. Yeah, no, he doesn't care about everyone else listening. He can listen himself. It's all good. Did they get many radio spins? Did you ever play your own music on the radio? Yeah, because nobody else would play.

Yeah, why the hell not, I reckon. There you go. Write that down, Mitch. Start putting out singles and just play them yourself. He's a genius. We actually got Mitch. Do you know how I said that we play things we hear on Talkback and then we kind of take inspiration from them?

We got Mitch to improvise a poem because we heard one of your poems go to air. It was about country people, actually, in small towns. A little town is where everybody knows what everybody else is doing. But they read the weekly newspaper just to see who got caught doing it. Oh, that's a good story. Yeah. And so I heard that and I played it on our podcast and said, Mitch, I think you should

start doing poetry like this. And he improvised the whole thing about Britney Spears, the whole Free Britney thing. Like I'd sing to music like this. It'd be like, we knew you from a girl. Young, tight and cute. But now look at you like an old haggard boot. Free Britney. Let her out of that cage.

Poor, poor Britney. It makes me filled with rage. Are you across the Britney Spears drama? I don't care. What a drama. Yeah. Why don't they just leave her alone? I agree. Well, they are now, so that's good.

Yeah, she's free. Britney's free now, which is what they wanted. I'm sure John really appreciates that update. What am I doing talking about Britney Spears? I know, I know. Well, this was a pleasure. I really enjoyed this, Mitch. Anything you want to get off your chest with John?

Well, I'm wondering if we should ask him the question we ask every guest. I think you can do that. Okay. So every guest that we have on the podcast, we like to ask them a small thing in life that they appreciate, like Angela Bishop said her waterbed. Jessica Malboy said... Sitting in the sun.

Being barefoot in a garden. That was one of her small life pleasures. The reason I'm reluctant to ask it is because we call it our list of things better than drugs and dick, which is basically a PSA to young people that there's more to life than boys and partying. No, there's not. No one's ever said that. I'll put that on the list. Is that it? I don't know.

Yeah, if you want. Yeah, we're good. Huh? Yeah. I mean, I'm happy to sit here a bit longer if you want to talk about anything else. No, we're done. I'm good. Thank you for being here.

It was a pleasure. Are you bored now? No. We could stay here all day. Like hell. Thank you very much for coming to visit me. It was very nice of you for being here. It was a pleasure. Are you bored now? No. We could stay here all day. Like hell. Thank you very much for coming to visit me. It was very nice of you to do that. Thank you for having us.

It was a pleasure. You're a legend. It was great to be in your presence and in the studio. Yeah, it's a good studio. It's a big studio. A giant studio. Have you seen the Kiss FM broom closet studio? Like, this is next level.

Has Kyle been in here? Because if he were to see this, renovations would start at Kiss tomorrow. Kyle's studio is a quarter the size of this. Well, so it should be. Yeah. A quarter the talent. Yeah, yeah. Is that it?

You finished now? You're bored now? No, I'm not bored at all. We're loving it. You've got a long lunch to get to, haven't you? Have I? Mm. With a lot of people?

A few. Mm. What have you got tattooed on your arm? Oh, it says Art Pop Are you familiar with Art Pop? No It's a Lady Gaga album No, I like Lady Gaga Do you? Yeah

Do you know why I like Lady Gaga? Well, I would suspect that you'd be a fan of some of the classical stuff she puts out She's got jazz albums as well as the pop stuff. That's right. But also I like her because one of my favourite people in the world likes her, Tony Bennett. Yeah. And Tony Bennett likes Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett is a gentleman

beyond belief and sings like nobody else. And that new album they put out recently is up for like a gazillion Grammys. Oh, yeah. So when they team up, magic happens. Super talent. Do you know something? Mm-hmm. We're starting to get boring.

People listening aren't going to give us stuff about Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga. I'm going now. All right, then. It was a pleasure to have you on. Great to meet you. You didn't have me on. I had you.

Oh, yeah, sure. I did that again, yeah. A pleasure to be here. Well, it's been a pleasure to have you here, and any time you feel like dropping by again, you're quite welcome. The door will always be open. Oh, thank you, John. That's a pleasure.

You're all right, you blokes. Thanks. That's a glowing review if ever I heard one. Thank you, John. Thanks, John. Ta-da. Appreciate it. God!

I've got to say, I I'm gonna go to my grave Saying that one of the best things That's ever happened to me Was being called young and stupid By John Laws Yep And he said Yes you're a bit precious

I detected that I'm like yes That was A while But what a treat I think he's the only guest I've ever had in the history of ever To end his own interview

We're done now Yeah He ended it himself But then when we're like Yeah yeah, no, let's go, he goes, what's that on your arm? I feel that he was enjoying it. I tend to agree. I also love how he kept saying, you bored?

You bored? Yeah, he's definitely insecure about that. But like I said, that's just him stirring up. Exactly. And that mother superior, his personal assistant, came up to us afterwards and said, that went really well. John doesn't usually respond that well. Yeah, the producers said the same.

So I'm like, Mitch, if you thought that was bad, imagine how many shocking interviews he's done before this, if that was good. Mitch, we won't name who was there before us, but we were told from the team that they had an interview with a very well-known publication before us. Oh, Batuta Advocate. Yeah, and he said he couldn't stand them.

Well, they're satirical. We're not satirical at all. No. We don't do jokes. No, not us satirical. We're not satirical at all. No. We don't do jokes. No, not us. On this show. It's a serious podcast. On my good Christian show.

Well, there you go, you fucking idiots. What a Christmas gift that was. I feel that Mitch's rosé's kicked in. It has, and I woke up at 3am today, and it's almost 3pm. It's 12 hours on the clock. My brain is cooked. Let's reflect on that, though. John Law says that there's nothing better than drugs and dick.

That is, to me, a win. If we can take anything from this podcast, we can end the podcast now, never return, and that could be our, what's the word I'm thinking of? Legacy. Legacy. I think you're legacy. All right.

I also love that he told you to stop being a fake bitch. That was his advice. He goes, yeah, no bullshit. Be authentic. Yeah. And be a salesman at Bunnings Be authentic. And be a salesman at Bunnings. Yeah, maybe be a salesman at Bunnings. Anyway, thank you

John Laws. We may or may not abuse that invitation. The door's always open, he says. He'll take that right back. I'm going to start. Every day being like, hello. Hi John, you said the door's always open. We noticed it wasn't, so just opening it. Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.