Is It Just Me? - MINI: Churi’s news 💔

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

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Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. All right. Now, I don't quite have a roadmap of how I want to talk about this or really know how to bring it in, and it's not often that I'm lost for words. I'm not lost for words. I'm just emotional.

You probably have noticed on this show or even online or socials I haven't been posting about my relationship much. I haven't been speaking about it at all. People have said, oh, I haven't heard Hayden's name mentioned in a while. Yeah, I've got a few messages and they've been increasing in volume over the last few days and weeks. So I thought I'll talk about it. I will just say that Hayden and I have split up.

We're no longer together. We've broken up. We've valeted our relationship. And I have split up. We're no longer together. We've broken up. We've valeted our relationship. And I am gutted. I'm really, really sad. I mean, there's been ups and downs for you. Would you agree? Because this is not news to us, obviously.

No, it's been about a month. It's been about four or five weeks. That's why I feel I have to talk about it because it's my life at the moment. And it's happened. And it have to talk about it because it's my life at the moment and it's happened and it's real and it's it's reality so um and even though it's been going on in private for a few weeks yeah it doesn't make it any less sad now that you're a little bit further along the line at a point where you're ready to talk about it on the podcast yeah I wouldn't even say that I'm ready but I just have to I mean it's my it's my life and i'm getting asked questions and it's the reality and i just think it's so tough when my job is to come out and be funny

and be the entertainer and i do a two daily radio shows it's fucked and to put on this mask and perform has been one of the hardest things i've ever done i also want to preface this by saying i often hate talking about myself and my personal life in this regard because I hate any ounce of arrogance or any ounce of look at me, listen to my life. It's so important. I mean, that's what we've got this podcast for. I know. That complex must be very challenging.

It's tough at times. You hate talking about yourself, but we do it for at least an hour a week. No, I just feel it's a bit like, oh, shut up. Who cares? But it's my life. I think people want to know because we spoke a lot about the relationship when that was your situation that you were in, moving out of your parents' place for the first time, moving in with a partner, et cetera, et cetera.

These are all things we've covered. This is just the next thing. It's just so, it's just, that's why I think it's so hard because we were together for five years in October. And I will say it was my choice to end the relationship. Just, I'm not going to go into the details. So I don't need to throw a drink in anyone's face, do I? Listen, I don't feel it's necessary.

Okay. You know. I mean, I'm hurting, but I ultimately made the decision in the end. And it's just being in a relationship that you came out for. Like I was talking to you about this, trying to work out how I was going to articulate it, and sorry if I'm a bit scattered and all over the place, but this is just a true live recounting of where I'm at.

And I've never been through a breakup before, so I don't have any sort of stick in the sand to go, that's how I should be reacting. But I have been thinking, okay, well, who was I before I was in this relationship? Because everyone's like, you'll be fine. You're Mitch Cheery. You'll be great.

You got a blue tick. You said that. Was that the arrogance that you mentioned before? Correct. There it is. And, um, and then I think, well, the person that I was before I was in this relationship was a 22 year old, um, closeted kid who lived with his parents. Yeah.

No, you can't go back to that. I can't go back. It's scary. That's not how it works in any breakup situation, I think. You don't just go back to the person you were before. I know. But you sort of think, okay, well, life was fine without them. But then you go back to where life was without them.

I was a different person. I mean, it's five years. It's going to take a while to find the new normal. And five formative years. Yeah. Oh, God, yeah. I mean, even though it's a sad situation, love Hayden, love you, it's not a good situation for anyone involved,

I've already told you this. There's a very big part of me that's quite excited. I know you're excited. I'm not there yet. Because you've never lived life as an openly gay single man. No, I haven't. Well, may you have a lot more relationship experience than me, but I've got a lot more experience being single than you.

So now I've got wisdom to impart. I love it. If you told me this time last year that you would be the single Mitch and I wouldn't be, I wouldn't have fucking believed you. But now that we're here, I'm like, great. The next chapter for you. You're still fragile at the moment, but eventually you'll be able to run all the segments I have

in mind. Cheery's blind date. No. Cheery's speed dating. Setting up Cheery's hinge. Cheery's one night stand. Are we good to go next week with any of these ideas? I need time.

I need time. I don't want to look at another person for 10 years. I mean, I will get there. Of course I'll get there. Yeah. But at the moment, the light at the end of the tunnel is hazy. It's so much better than it was four or five weeks ago. That was chaotic.

Oh, I mean, a few weeks ago you were crying to me on the phone. And then the week after that you were saying, let's go to Oxford Street. I want to go gay clubbing. I haven't been in five years. And I was like, fucking too easy. I'll make it happen. And we did.

And then the following week you were sad again. And then so it's like, it'll be like that for a bit, I do imagine. Ups and downs. Some days you were seeing the pros more than the cons and then vice versa. Oh, definitely. And it's sort of, you need to be out of a relationship and have the benefit of hindsight to really look at the way you want to be treated and the way that you need to be treated in a relationship.

And I think that has helped me come to realise that it's the right decision. Exactly. I mean, five years experience, you'll know going into the next relationship, not that that's going to happen anytime soon. I don't want another relationship. Don't think about that yet. Fucking God. When it happens, you'll be well better equipped for this relationship.

You know what you will put up with and won't put up with. Yes. I mean, it's a very different situation, but there are things that I put up with and won't put up with. Yes. I mean, very different situation, but there are things that I put up with in the past that I would not put up with now with Sean. Not that he's ever shown any of those red flags, but you just become more aware of them. Yeah. With experience.

Exactly. But anyone out there, and oh my God, can I just say, I have struggled so much to find content on queer breakups and queer relationships. What do you mean? There's nothing. There's nothing out there. It is actually barren.

Every podcast you search and you look for, it is, if the man cheats, he goes to football with his mates and he works it out with his boys and the girls need a spa day and men are hardwired. They're cavemen and they have red blood. It's like, shut the fuck up. But I all mean real life stories so that's why i want to talk about it for little like queer kids listening to these queer adults like fuck i'm 27 i'm going through this for my first time yeah it is it's tough and

i just want to say to anyone that maybe you're not going through it but people listen to this podcast at many different times they'll be listening in years to come um there is no right way to do it and it's like a fucking, it's like a death. Like I've had to grieve the relationship. Well, it's like I said before, it is the seven stages. Yes, totally. I can't remember all seven off the top of my head. I don't want to know all seven.

Oh, anger was a fun week. Oh, anger. I feel like I'm in that at the moment. Well, here I am offering to throw drinks, but that week I was like, oh, fuck, man, I'm going to have to come around there and hold you back. Oh, ask me next week. I mean, Hayden's Spice Girls stuff is still at home. So if you want to burn that to the ground.

Oh, yeah, right. You're in the dividing up the assets phase, aren't you? Oh, my God. Who gets to keep the tea towels I gave you for that housewarming? They're fucking mine. They're disgusting. You can take them. Fuck you.

It's really hard, guys. It's actually really hard. I'm making fun of it. But it's just these things are happening. And I have really high highs, really low lows. I know I've made the right decision and onwards and upwards, but I will say if you want to send me a nice message, I will love it. I love them.

So please, because the nights are cold and they are lonely. Yeah, I know it's easier for me to see the positives of you now being single, but hear me out. You fucking dove in the deep end as soon as you came out of the closet. You were already in a relationship when you came out to your parents. You were like, yeah, I've got two things to tell you. I'm gay and I have a boyfriend. Like you skipped several milestones.

And so now's a great time to catch up on the milestones. Living by yourself for the first time, being single, going on dates, et cetera, et cetera. These are all things that are formative and have been formative for me. And now you get to experience them too. Yeah. I'm not excited about it at the moment. Eventually. Eventually you'll look back and be like, okay, yep.

Yeah. Right now I'm living in our giant three bedroom home and Hayden's living with his mom and I'm trying to find a fucking property after, you know, the head fuck that I've just gone through to find a property, underst you know, the head fuck that I've just gone through to find a property. Understair storage, all that fucking shit. And now I've got to turn around and do it all fucking again while doing two radio shows, this fucking podcast. Just like say put in the current place for a bit.

That's a later problem, the house hunting. I don't know. One thing at a time. But if I'm a bit flat or sad in the next few weeks i'm i'm pushing through and i love doing this show and you've been a great friend to me over this time so thank you for that of course oh no off the cloud you have been great um and i've got a great support network and i'm fine but i'm sad and i'm flat so i want to talk about it because i want to be able to lean into that it's real human emotions we've done this show for so fucking long you guys listening you idiots i

adore you and i want you to just get the real me, and this show is to reflect where we're at in our life. And it's funny. I mean, you haven't had a breakup of this magnitude. You haven't been in a relationship this long. You're in your first relationship. This show has never had to go through this kind of – I mean, we're fucking entertainers.

We're funny people. We talk about funny stuff. So, I don't know, uncharted waters for us, but I guess we might be getting real. And I'm happy to get real if you are. Yeah, I mean, there's no rule that says we have to be funny every week. No. I mean, you said last week, I'm sorry that I've been flat recently.

And I did say, and I did mean, it hasn't come across. Yeah, I know. So now I guess you'll just have the fucking breakup card up your sleeve next time Jenna and I are being a little bit too mean. We're teasing you too much. You're like, oh, I'm going to break up. I haven't pulled it, but I'm going to pull that now. You can now.

It's out there. God, I hope there's no horny idiots listening that are going to start sliding into your DMs. Yeah, I mean, if there's any, I mean, you know, they've wanted to ravish you for years. Now the tables have turned. I haven't actually gotten a lot of that. I did fuck one listener.

They didn't tell me they were a listener until after. Am I going to fuck a listener? I don't know. I should keep it easy. That's up to you. Hey, if you want to be my first fuck, hey Siri, download Grindr. Oh God. I don't think, if you're anything like me, which I feel that you are,

you won't enjoy Grindr. Siri's getting it. No, delete Siri. I don't want that. I don't think you'd enjoy Grindr. I could be wrong, but I just feel like if I know you as well as I think I do, you probably wouldn't enjoy Grindr. Get amongst Hinge, baby. I've been doing ads for it on this very show. I'm not going on the apps.

Also, I know, Hayden, if you're listening to this, because I know he will listen. Oh, for once. He never listens. Stop it. Yes, he didn't listen to the podcast. And who wouldn't? Oh, do you reckon he will be listening this week? Maybe.

I don't know. I'd listen if he didn't. Well, I won't throw a drink in your face, I promise. I did a load of washing and there were skid marks in all your undies. I had to use extra bleach, so he transferred me for half of the bleach. By the way, that might explain to our listeners why you're all of a sudden doing your own laundry. Yeah. What was my excuse?

What was the word I used? I can't remember. No, I said, for circumstances outside my control. Yeah, we just started talking about the fact that you're now having to do your own laundry. And Jenna and I are looking at each other like, oh, fuck, we can't accidentally slip up and say, because you're single now. I know. It's been so hard to hide. But, you know, I tried to work on it.

And I said, let's put the work in. And then things happened. And it's just we're here and we're not together anymore. And I love the five years we spent together and that's true. I did. I don't regret a year. It was the most incredible five years. I'm going to get sad now.

Most incredible five years I've had. Listen, that five years were also incredible for me and I wasn't in a relationship. So everyone does everything in different orders, you know. Like we were just saying before, my sister's 30, has three kids. Jenna's 30, has no kids. Yeah. Everyone moves at their own pace.

So this is just where you're at now. I know. I'm just such a fucking sap. I hate it. I don't want to cry. Oh, sweetie. Give us a cuddle. Oh, you don't have to hug me.

I'm all right. I'll be fine. What's wrong? Oh, tissues. Thanks. I'm be fine. What's wrong? Oh, tissues, thanks. I'm all good. By the way, has anyone ever told you that you don't have an ugly crying face at all? Really?

You were just crying in front of me. You wiped the tissue over your eye. Gone. Really? If I've been crying, I look disgusting for hours. What a compliment. I'll take that in my stride. I was just looking at you going, what?

He was just crying. How did he look normal again? He's completely back to normal. That's sweet. I think that's the benefits of having a chubby face. No, it's all in the eyes. Is it? If I've been crying, it looks like I'm stoned for the next few hours.

I can't go anywhere after crying. Everyone will know. So do I look good now? You literally, I'm not kidding, you wipe the tissue and then back to normal. You know what my tactic is? I don't know where I learned this from, but I dab. I don't wipe. It's nice because wiping sort of makes it tactic is? I don't know where I learnt this from, but I dab. I don't wipe. It's nice.

Because wiping sort of makes it all red. I don't fucking know. But also my eyes go red. Like the lids go red. Everything. You can tell when I've been crying. Oh, it's lovely. Nice crying face.

I wonder if I've got a good cum face too. I'll film that and send it to you so you can compare. You're single now, mate. I'll come and find out myself. Oh, no! Ew! All right. Shall we end here and

we can come back in a week. Do we have any other segments? No, no, we can get out of here. Okay, that's what I mean. Let's go and then we can check back in this week. Give me seven days and I'll be alright. And he's very needy. He's made no secret of that. Send the lovely messages. I am.

I'm a Libra. Words of affirmation and acts of service are my love language. So if anyone wants to cook me a roast dinner and send me a lovely message, I'll take it. Never been through this. You know, I did think of that. I was like, maybe I should cook him something. But then I was like, God, you get home so late at night. I'd have to be

sitting there on your doorstep with a fucking oven tray. I'll be honest, I get home like 9.30 these days. I can manage that. My mum is my oh my God, I will just shout out. I've got a brilliant support network. My family, who are also heartbroken because, you know, he was like a son to my parents. Oh, I'm going to cry again.

That's okay. You can. I don't want to though. And, oh my God, I just pulled a tissue out of my wrist. Fuck, you are getting old. Look at me. I've got a tissue in my wrist, in my sleeve. My family have been amazing.

My mum has been dropping me meals every week and I've been seeing them. Oh, has she? And my sisters have been great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all good. It's all good. I'll be right. Yeah, no, like you said, you've got a great support network around you.

So even though it's still shit, imagine going through something like that alone. Yeah, and I am brandishing it from here on out, ladies and gentlemen. You're brandishing it? The divorce. It is not a breakup. It's a divorce. I mean, legally, you were de facto for years. So technically.

The volume of shit that we have to deal with and the move out and the owning of assets and it feels like a fucking divorce. Where are you at today? Like, what do you have to do with today? We're currently dividing our assets, which we've kind of done. We have an Excel spreadsheet. It's so horny and rousing too. Oh God.

I didn't realise there was so much admin involved in the breakup. That Excel leafy green colour, it gets me fucking hard. And then we have to, I'm trying to find a place to live alone. Anyway, leave it with me. I've already, you know I don't like being earnest, and this was a lot. So thank you, Mitchell. You've been a great friend. Very kind.

Yep. And I will continue to be. Thank you. Yeah. It stops now. Catch you soon, idiots. Love you. Bye.

Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches.